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shimosu · 4 years

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Ares headcanons

~~~

Ares is cool. He is calm, collected, sipping his tea, elegant, and watching Ragnarok play out in front of him. All is fine. He is dignified, seated on a red velvet couch, nothing could-

"Can I watch here?"

His tea flew out of his mouth.

(Reader) appeared and joined them up there to view the fights. His composure immediately broke.

"(R-R-R-Reader)!"

Loki is chuckling in the background. Hermes is smiling and shaking his head. Ares is now standing, facing you.

You sat down on his spot, and patted the space next to you for him to sit. Besides, his huge body was blocking the way.

Ares can't stay calm around you, ever. It's been proven that he would rather jump out a window than be in a room alone with you. Proof? It happened the day before the Conference.

You'll tease him and just watch him get embarrassed. He would pull his helmet down like a straw hat to hide his face.

Ares can't hide a fact. He's not the best liar, and with how he panics every time he sees you, everyone knows he likes you.

Ares, once, drinking wine:

Loki: Take a shot or tell (Reader)-kun you like them?

Ares: *immediately takes a shot*

Except Heracles, he thinks you're super cool, and that Ares is coming down with a fever.

Hermes loves teasing Ares, but with you in the room after Hermes does a subtle jab, Ares doesn't do anything.

With you squeezed in next to him, sitting and trying to watch the match, wearing a hoodie and having a bored look on your face, he's too distracted, despite looking like he's paying close attention to the match.

His mind's actually racing.

Loki just asks you something and when you respond with, "I do", Ares just screeches to a stop, since his mind just passed by marriage.

Whether you're intentional in keeping him quiet or not is a mystery, with you and your straight face.

You had a juice box that was still full. When Ares lost his cool against Hermes, you just patted his arm and shoved the straw into his mouth.

Hermes also stopped, just watching as he was dropped in Ares's shock.

"Calm down, mah dude." You shoved the straw into his mouth, the same straw you just drank from.

"...!" He froze, dropping Hermes.

"You want it?" You took it away from him, sticking the straw into your mouth again.

"... No, it's too sweet.."

"Tastes normal to me." You shrugged.

Really, the most emotion ever seen was when you laugh at people, or smile lazily after teasing someone. Why Ares likes you isn't sure, but it's funny to watch.

They don't know why. Maybe it's the charm of being "cool and quiet", but he will deny it and change the topic whenever it's brought up.

The others savored his quietness and watched the fight, while Ares remained red-faced the whole time.

You always wondered why he acted so shy around you. He was weird. You told him that, bluntly, to his face.

Heracles answered your question when it was approaching his turn to fight.

"Why is Brother Ares acting so odd?" Heracles asked Geir, after watching you pass by Ares after a small wave, holding yet another juice box.

Geir shrugged before holding up her hands, forming a heart.

"Oh. OHHHHHHHHH! BROTHER ARES LIKES (Reader)!"

Geir was wildly trying to shush the ignorant Heracles, while you had frozen in your steps.

Ares seemed to die right then and there.

Without a word, you continued walking.

Nothing came out of that. A small bit of the reason why Zeus punched him later was because he was a coward in regards to you.

Come on, Heracles basically confessed for you, and you're doing nothing?! You know that (Reader) probably won't do anything, so you have to do it yourself!

Hermes subtly teased Ares because he couldn't even touch you without his brain short-circuiting, and Hermes just kissed your hand as a greeting when you came back with more juice boxes during intermission.

Since you're so "cool, calm, and quiet", you didn't change how you act around Ares.

You were on the roster for Ragnarok. Since the humans were actually scoring victories, and you had yet to go up, they're actually pushing him to do something because you were also lazy.

Loki's sounding a bit serious if Ares wants anything to happen, and Zeus is sounding like an annoyed dad whose son won't ask out the one he's been pining over for seven years.

Because it's true, though it's been a bit longer than seven years. About a hundred times more. And since humans are actually scoring wins, you could die.

Why're they focusing on his love life in this time? Because of intermission entertainment, they don't get ads or anything.

Since this had been going on for a while too, might as well get it done now.

Waiting during intermission, you sat down with the humans. While doing so, you faintly heard a familiar voice shouting,

"ARESSSSSSSSSSS!"

You wisely tuned it out, chewing loudly on your gum.

It's fun. Why didn't they start sooner?

45 notes · View notes

shimosu · 4 years

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Thor: Loki told me to go get it, and I don't know what he means.

Zeus: So what did he tell you to get?

Thor: Unclear. I'll get everything, just in case.

#recordofrangarok #recordofragnarokincorrectquotes #record of ragnarok incorrect quotes #shuumatsu no valkyrie incorrect quotes #incorrectquotes #incorrect quotes #shuumatsunovalkrieincorrectquotes #record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #shuumatsunovalkyrie #snv #ror #zeus #thor #source: tumblr #loki

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shimosu · 4 years

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Heimdall, watching the Lion King for the seventh time, in a dark corner and crouching like a gremlin, the only light being from the TV, his goggles glowing yellow:

TV: Why, when he was a young warthogg!

Heimdall, singing along: When I was a young wartHoOOOOOOOOAAAAAAGGG!

Poseidon, hearing it as he's walking past the building Heimdall is in, thinking: What the fuck was that ungodly noise?

#source: my brain #Lion King #Incorrect quotes #incorrectquotes #It if comes from my head is it incorrect?#ror #snv #record of ragnarok #recordofrangarok #shuumatsunovalkyrie #shuumatsu no valkyrie #poseidon #heimdall #recordofragnarokincorrectquotes #record of ragnarok incorrect quotes #shuumatsunovalkrieincorrectquotes #shuumatsu no valkyrie incorrect quotes

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shimosu · 4 years

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[Board games with Brunhilde pt. 2]

[After two more games in which Brunhilde lost horribly and flipped tables twice, breaking one in her previous attempt that was not shown, they decided to try playing on a window sill.]

Brunhilde, losing again:

Alcides/Heracles: *drops in a chip for Connect 4*

Brunhilde, who has one chip left: *stares at her chips, which have all been blocked*

Alcides/Heracles:

Brunhilde: *quietly moves her chip*

Alcides/Heracles: *makes a line of 4 in a place she didn't know about*

Brunhilde:

Alcides/Heracles:

Geir: ... Did it wor-?

Brunhilde, standing up and ripping off the windowsill: DAMMIT!!

Geir: Remind me to never play a game with you again, Onee-sama.