#rethinking friendships

[cinnavanillamelody]

So I wanna vent, about something really quick, and then we'll go back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I like, hate. College. I hate it, I hate the premise, I hate that they're bleeding me for money, but most of all I hate the people. If I could do college with 5 other people and we all had our own rooms I think I'd like it more. It started snowing today, and the campus is covered in snow. And if you know anything about me, I hate the cold. I hate being cold, I hate being outside in the cold. Because when it's cold, it's guaranteed I'll probably get sick. I'll get chills, the flu, a cold, something.

I wanted to go to a college in North Carolina, but they didn't accept me for an art program, so I ended up at my current college in small-town Pennsylvania. It's cold here, in the winter. it's so goddamn cold I don't want to go outside. I shouldn't go outside. And lucky for me I don't have to go outside because I have everything I need, inside, where it's warm, and I won't die by slipping on ice.

But apparently, my roommate thinks I'm STUPID for calling one of my co-workers to see if my job on campus would still be open. When I could've just "Walked outside to see if they're open" and "It's not that cold". FIRST OF ALL the air outside has to be a certain degree to even freeze the water in the sky and make it dense enough to fall out of the sky in the form of snow. in other words, IT HAS TO BE COLD, TO MAKE COLD WEATHER, AKA SNOW. And I left my warmest coat back home by accident, so I'm even less guarded against the cold weather. And I'm also anemic, it doesn't matter how many fucking layers I put on, I can still be, (and usually am) cold. She wouldn't let me explain why I don't find it necessary to go outside in the cold when I can just as easily find out the information I need by CALLING SOMEONE ON THE PHONE. Yeah sure she may not be here on campus, however, this probably isn't the first time the school's shut down because of weather, she would probably know if the school job that we both work would still be open. Which she did, and now I know whenever the school is shut down, my job is too.

I started to raise my voice because when someone insults me, the natural reaction is to defend myself. And when someone repeatedly interrupts you in conversation, wrongly assuming you're done and continuing to invalidate your feelings and emotions because THEY think it's STUPID and you're being DUMB AND IRRATIONAL about weather you aren't used to, their argument being "You have to get used to it at some point since you live here now"

Technically, I don't actually live here. I don't have a permanent residency here. I can't vote in this state. I live in a warmer southern state. My home is in another state. I am "living" on a college campus. But in the next 3 years? I'm not going to be able to live here. I don't stay here during the winter and summer. I go HOME. I FLY TO ANOTHER STATE. Technically I don't HAVE to get used to shit. I can get my degree, and move to fucking California where it doesn't ever snow. And I can hate the cold all the same. Because it's my right to not like cold weather, yeah I complain about it, but I know it's something I have to deal with. That doesn't mean I have to "learn to get used to it" right now just because you fucking say so. And you don't have to fucking call me stupid and illogical every time I don't want to go outside. That's rude. You can think it, but you don't have to say it. I'm seriously starting to rethink my friendship with this person because we can be fine and friendly, and instantly jump into an argument fucking 5 SECONDS later. I don't want to even live with this person anymore, I'm just dealing with it because the alternative is living with someone I don't know.

UGH IM SO PISSED OFF

anyway, rant over. Now we return to the regularly scheduled programming. 🍫

#rant post #vent post #anger #roommate trouble #rethinking friendships

[raayllum]

clicked for me upon reflection that a lot of the backlash towards callum's treatment of rayla being too forgiving in s4/s5 overall is just... coming from a lack of maturity when it comes to healthy long term relationships (romantic or otherwise). if you love your friend/partner, you should not want to punish them when they mess up - even before they admit that they have. even if you do want to punish them in some manner, because we're all human, you don't because that would damage the relationship and the trust you're supposed to both have in each other.

callum is not going to purposefully punish rayla about anything; rayla quite often holds herself accountable even when he let things go (if anything she sometimes dwells too much on what she's done wrong), but she's also learning to accept grace - and by extension, help (and a lack of accepting help is exactly what led to their main issues in the first place; that was and is on her).

sometimes what's required for relationship repair feels backwards because it can be the things that led to the breakdown in the first place (rayla prioritizing callum over herself in leaving and in S4, because she needs to accept the feelings he does express over her own feelings/wants; callum offering help in s5 even after she's hurt him, because her learning to accept his help is crucial in not having another ttm happening).

relationships are complex. repairing relationships is even more complex. often times our best traits and patterns with one another are also our worst traits and patterns with one another.

and i think it's very cool and refreshing just how well arc 2 rayllum shows that in both its beauty and its hurt and with quite a bit of realism/nuance to boot

#rayllum #arc 2 #'why didn't he yell at her' bc he took measures so he wouldn't just like in 2x03 #don't get me wrong i'm sure we'll get a bit more of a 3x08 esque argument eventually but #it will end in tears and hugs #mini meta #analysis series #text post #mine #i've had multiple 12+ year long friendships and a long term relationship for close to 5 years #punishing & wanting to punish your partner is immature and foolish #if you want to punish your partner you wanna rethink how ur framing things #and whether u want them as ur partner tbh

[unamedica]

What really happened in the final episode. heh

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu/akemi #mizu x akemi #mizu #Akemi got hurt forgetting about meeting Mizu #Mizu plays a prank and blushes when Akemi calls her beautiful #Mizu rethinks their “friendship”

[my-fancy-hat]

Most romance novels follows an scheme of what love should it goes, how people have to meet and follow a certain path and archetypes to correctly fall in or out of love, that what's makes this kind of stories predictable and boring to some people, but what about love that evolves? love that exists despite the desire for romance/selfishness? what about friendship? family? what if we choose to love ourselves too? to love the path we choose? I think that what Ao no Flag is majoritary about, romance as we know in a love triangle it's just the surface the tip of the iceberg of what this story is about, series of choices where we pray for them to make us happy, to make our loved ones happy, because we want to be brave about the things we love.

The four cour characters are put in one of the most troublesome and chaotic times of every person who had access to the system education can experience: final year of high-school, the deadline between childhood and adulthood, to accept reality on how it approaches us, the fear of rejection and failure of what we are of what we do. Many people incluided me had wished to have been more wise, more patient, more accepting yet strong about our chosen path, and that's what Ichinose, Touma and Futaba had to learn and eventually guided them toward their happy end. Not just that, but the experience many queer people had to endure avoiding the social suicide of showing to the world who we are, this ilustrated with Touma and Masumi's characters, and (subtly yet quite importantly) Ichinose. How can I exists in their world if I live like this? will my parents accept me? they will still think about me as someone successful and worth of their last name? will they disown me? hate me? will my best friend who I am in love with reject me in disgust? It's so easy and understandable to succumb to a hatred that you think you deserve, because at the time it was less painful to play along lying to your loved ones about this secret than "revealing the truth", they deserved to know yet you failed, and this loneliness is what you get. If this is how the enviorment wants you to feel, then isn't it expected that the individual would desire for freedom of it? that's what Touma wished for his future to be, not concrete answer more than to exists without regrets.

The desire for romance can be rightfully observed by its selfish nature, to own the right, the demand for them to love us back, but it can be the exercise to accept ourselves as well. Touma wanted to show Taichi his heart without fears, despite if he would love him back or not, in doing so, he would be walking toward the ideal happiness he dreamed of. To openly love is the call for the indifferent cruel world to see in us the desire for goodness, that in this place can exists kindness too.: Touma most than anything, wanted for Ichinose and (by extention) Futaba, to be happy, to share their 1000+ points of best friend power and make everyone happy. That is, the core of love, to wish the best for your dears, and see them smile.

But accepting and not to, can be actually be the same. Masumi had to constantly fight with herself, with the inavility to change what she can't, to live with the fabricated idea of what she is supposed to be and what she is supposed to do, and what other people would react about it. That's why that, even if I have my reservations about her ending, I find it really meta for Masumi end to end up in a het marriage, making us conclude that at some point she gave up on Futaba, but paradoxically, accepted herself and her reality by coming out as bi. Us readers expected and rotted for her to confess to her crush and end up in similar terms like Touma and Taichi did, but this ending make us putting the lesson she learned though her character arc into practice: what people may think or not about our decisions, is their problem, not ours. Life can be so treacky and unfair, but no matter the circunstances, we can still find and make our place. We deserve it.

A friend or a lover, what is the difference if you just want to share our happiness with them?

That's how you humanize your characters, by expossing through them the good, the bad and the absurd, to tell a story in each how the circunstances molds them, but to oppose what damage us is quite a brave thing to do, even if it's our own mind, and that's what Futaba character speaks to me. The desire for wanting to change, to (once again) accept and not-to-accept. She's a weakling, clumsy girl loaded on self-hatred for her unability to live just as the others do. The fear of have reached your maximum potential and there's nothing else for you to do about it, that you born to live like this for the rest of your life. But she sees in Touma an example of hard work and due to her admiration (mistaked at first for a crush), wants to prove herself that life can be something else. To break our self-stablished limits and see what's beyond, to surpass your limits and try to understand what scares you. To be confident enough to think you have the right to live too. Failure reafims the truth that you are better off muted; what bother trying if it will end up in misery anyways? but the beauty of humankind is the unbeatable hope that things will change, to not give up, and without noticing, we'll feel blessed for have born in this time, in this place.

This as a result inspires Taichi's way of viewing life without him realizing too, just as how Touma's pure-lover heart expeled his sincere feelings ever since they started talking again, to the point to even sacrifice his leg and career for Ichinose: How can I exists and make it up for such people like you? what can I do? It's easy to fill your heart with resentment for the things you couldn't live, to feel prideful as consolation for a lonely life you didn't choose, as the left overs. But what we think makes what we are, if you keep on your days thinking you exists for the things you believe you deserve, to live in the imaginary unbreakable rules you made for yourself, then nothing will change. Touma, Futaba and Masumi changed Taichi's life forever, in the driving force of his spirit to pursue a better version of himself, to live driven by the desire for freedom, for love, and not care of what other people may see this choices.

That's why I think the final chapter is such a piece of art that makes the pay off so satisfying. What tortured him when Touma confessed wasn't that his best friend was gay, or that he lied to him about the nature of their friendship (he didn't): it was the though of losing him, so he chose both options at the end (if the analogy can't be more in the face). But as Yorkie said, it part of the course of life to most likely break up with your first gf, more less if they go to different universities, so them going their separate ways wasn't a surprise, but what made me happy about it that they still ended up in good terms and respected each other deeply for what they lived together. The surprise though comes from the actual realize of which POV we're following at the end, that reveals that Taichi had become Touma's husband. This is where I think Ichinose teach to the audience the lesson he learned from his former classmates, where he reaches for Touma above the lines that divides panels, to reach his husband's hand, the hand he shouldn't hold, and walk together toward home: he surpassed his own limits, his barriers and knew where his happiness lied.

A lot of queer people had *the realization* in their 20s (me included as nb), finally giving an explanation of all our past behaviour. I know before-hand most people got shocked for Ichinose to get reveal as bisexual, but isn't the story already gave us an idea this would happen eventually? when Futaba and Ichinose confess to each other, it's Touma's (and Masumi's) heartbreak that it's on spotlight overlaying their conversation, how Taichi and Touma hand-holding is such a central element for the story telling (literally it ends with them holding hands), and much more? Even Futaba suspected it before himself realized years later.

(it happened twice that when Taichi thinks about Touma what crosses his mind is his well-build chest/cleavage area like, ok)

But what makes the different between friendship and love? can a boy and a girl be friends? can a gay boy have male friends? can I be friends of someone I love and viseversa? can I forgive and maitain what we have? The only certainty I have right now, in this moment, is that I love you so much. I'm so happy to have meet you.

This got too long so to grap my final thoughs and make myself more loose right at the end, I'm so happy for have read this story FULL BLIND OMG I was so conviced that no one would end up together lol the only thing I knew of it is that it talked about queer drama and, textually: "had the ending it deserves". It genuinely made my perspective on some things change for the better. I actually loved so much how this story handles with such maturity a pretty much easy-target for comedy and bitter angst (bury your gays) the premise of "bff is gay and in love with the main character since they were kids". Not only that, but not picking sides of "who deserves who" taking leads between Touma vs Futaba, is quite refreshing for the genre: it humanize and treats fairly each member of the cast, giving proper space for them to explain themselves (worth mentioning Mami I loved her character so much you have no idea). Most of the drama in romance comes from missunderstandings or the lack of dialogue, when everything can be solved if the characters can actually sit and talk their feelings and thoughts out! and Ao no Flag is a masterclass on this manner. The explanation, exposition and introspection of every character struggle, the script, monologues, are so compelling and to the bone, I can't choose which interaction of the cast is my favorite. The pay-off is spectacular because we can actually follow each person train of thoughts and choices in which these end up in, with the faith that this path will make themselves and his loved ones happy, because even if we aren't certain about anything we do, we'll still find meaning in the absudity of destiny (or the lack of it?).

#alot of people search for a babysitter. a father or a mother replacement for a partner. but what about a friend? #passion fades eventually with the course of time but friendship is forever. i want to become my future husband's best friend.. #shi so good it made me rethink the concept of marriage #anyways sorry for the long read i hope i made sense!! #tl;dr: i loved this manga sm the ending was a bit rushed but made 100% sense i recommend it so hard #taichi&touma ichinose made me giggle and kicking my feet at my shift (i'm a butcher) like🩷🩷💕💐💐💥💥🔥🚑🚑🪦 #what a work of art #hope it gets an anime adaptation i may just explode #ao no flag #blue flag #reading

[secrettastemakerland]

Do you have something about the uzumaki family/sunshine siblings in your drafts? 😊

shout out to anon for making me rethink my life choices bc I only have one 😔

Naruto raised a brow at his kids’ upset faces and then pointed a thumb at Lion, who didn’t seem to have the same opinion as the chibis because he was fast asleep, snoring away in between Kawaki and Boruto. “Lion liked it,” he shrugged

Himawari shook her head at him, disappointed in his betrayal but also somewhat happy watching at how cute he looked that he was asleep.

“That doesn’t count,” Boruto scoffed. “Lion likes everything.”

#this is for the last sunshine fam chap of baby pardon my french #and then some shikanaru friendship to finish it off! #but idk i'm rethinking this lowkey #i really want to finish this before the next nhmonth #but we all know that probably won't happen 😍 #anyways love you anon #sunshine family #anonymous

[bearyyayay]

I WAS WATCHING THE MAFIA 1 GAMEPLAY AND MY GOD, THE DIFFERENCE OF SAM IS LIKE "WOAH 😦"

LIKE AT THE DEATH OF ART HE SOUNDS SATISFIED AND CONTENT WHILE MAFIA:DE HES STILL SOUNDS SOMEWHAT SATISFIED YET YOU COULD HEAR THE GUILT IN HIS VOICE. WHILE FROM MAFIA 1 HES LIKE "Yeah I killed him, so what? He broke the rule"

#mafia definitive edition #mafia 1 #sam trapani #tommy angelo #paulie lombardo #AND THE DEATH PART?? #BRO SAID “Friendship aint worth shit” INDICATING THAT ITS BASICALLY A WASTE OF TIME #MEANWHILE FOR MDE HES TAUNTING TOM TELLING HIM TO RETHINK ABOUT THE GOOD OLD TIME #FOR ME THAT RIGHT THERE HES INDICATING THAT FRIENDSHIP IS SOMETHING AND IT HAVE MEANINGS #Sam from mafia 1 is like “you know what its worth it” #also did tom had blue eyes? #idk if im tripping or something

[cursedthing]

i love putting my characters into situations but maybe sometimes i shouldn't.

#rethinking maybe i SHOULDN'T put Nome in. in a mind hellscape where they are slowly falling apart while being forced to watch their friends #nearly die over and over again. and them being forced to be an observer in all of those situatiions #ok yeah now that i actually say it outloud I really shouldn't do thAT. #like the original thought was haha what if they saw their friends memories from when THEY were trapped in mindscapes #and what if Nome can't do anything but be an observer? #like at first it was just a funny little thought but then i started expanding on it and only now i'm realizing that MAYBE IT SHOULD STAY #JUST A ''WHAT IF'' SCENARIO. #AND NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE ACTUAL STORY #Nome already faced a lot of horrors and honestly I'd rather not have them face any more unnecessary horrors #it's time for me to like. write how they go to the train station or something not slowly die in a torture mindscape. #they love trains maybe i should focus on the friendship dynamics they have with the art group that they go to #ines screams into the void

[izacore]

.

#all i'm gonna say is #that the people celebrating harry shouting out jeff as his best friend maybe rethink what they're actually celebrating #because if you believe they are truly besties #you also have to acknowledge that harry is okay with jeff and the whole hshq scamming and exploiting his fans without a second thought #so yeah forgive me if i thought better of harry i guess #i am gonna rethink if there's any sense defending him from them since he seems to like these people closeting him for profit #i wish he saw and understood this is not how friends are supposed to be but #too deep right now i guess #and I get it's complicated #but idk these people are genuinely evil #(also this is more @ the smug people being happy how we were obviously overreacting when we dared to call out his team than @harry himself) #(altough i'd love to shake him a little and show him what a true friendship can look like) #ok i am done

[heymrspatel]

tell me about your favorite spoon

hahaha mel i love you! let's see, my favorite spoon is:

perfectly shaped - more round than it is oval & it has smooth edges

an inbetweener - so not a teaspoon and not quite a tablespoon

it has the ideal depth - not too deep, not too flat

great weight - not light or flimsy, it's hefty but not heavy

excellent length - the handle is not too long or too short

🤌🏼 PERFECT SPOON! 🥄

(this came about because i said mickey has a favorite spoon lmao)

#did i just sort of write an ode to a spoon? yes. are you rethinking our friendship? #is everyone rethinking? i wouldn't blame ya #LOVE YOU MEL!!! #gardenerian #asks

[moonsaurora]

i think there’s a difference between shipping and genuinely believing two people are together. however there is also a difference in overanalyzing everything they do and harassing them and people around them about it and just being like ‘i personally don’t think that’s very platonic of them. i think they might be together’ and moving on. because coming out is a privilege, especially in the industry and society they’re in, just see how holland was treated. so because of homophobia and heteronormativity, they’re able to pass it off as ‘fanservice’ or they’re joking. but also, there’s always the possibility they aren’t together so i say just keep it in your own private space of course. like sometimes these idols will straight up say whether they’re straight or not or if they’re dating or not but are able to pass it off as a joke because there’s so many people that won’t take it or believe it unless they make like an official statement and that’s what needs to stop. because straight people don’t have to come out everyone is just assumed straight, it’s so annoying. especially in an industry where if they come out they could literally lose their career. so yeah, there might be some idol ships/couples that i think are together, but it’s because i’m not stupid and know the difference, and queer people know queer people ESPECIALLY when they make ‘jokes’ like that. if it gets to a point when you are going into a comment section and you say ‘i love their friendship’ and you feel like calling them just friends is more delulu than the people who actually believe it, just give it up. i get the shippers can be annoying but there’s always a point where you just can’t ignore it anymore idk

#um #yeah #kpop #like dont get me STARTED on haobin #there’s never been a ‘ship’ like them to me #like it’s not delusional to have eyes #idk what ‘platonic’ relationships yall are having but you might want to rethink them #people will say that to disprove the fact that these idols might be together #‘i do that with my friends’ well what you find platonic is not what everyone else finds platonic #don’t even get me started on the fuckin ‘it ruins their friendship’ #no it doesn’t lol i’m sorry it just doesn’t #one person said that and yall ran #with it #ok i’m done bye

[cherrys-side-bitch]

I just had to sit through an entire lecture about how “baby girl” Douma is from a friend...

#I'm scared and rethinking a whole friendship #half joking #demon slayer douma #not writing

[tinkershar]

Pineapple doesn't belong on PIZZA. what is wrong with YOU??

Sorry but you're wrong.How am I just learning your very wrong pizza preferences.Next you'll be telling me you like anchovies and olives on your pizza.

#I might need to rethink this friendship lol #Lynd talks

[tiredsadpeach]

The urge to isolate and only talk to my family, my bf, and one other friend lmao

#it’s just so #I’m tired of hurting #if he comes to me little I’ll still be his cg because that’s like leaving a child imo #but just ever since the bullying incident thing I have really really been rethinking that friendship #and all those connected to him #and I hate that because liek on one side that’s my fp I think I’d lose my fucking mind without him #and on the other side.. aren’t I already losing my fucking mind? hasn’t he already checked out of this friendship? #you literally tweeted SHUT UP repeating after I asked you if you were okay one time lol #whenever we get in a fight I get to see all the awful things you say about me in that time #you can’t even be happy for me and my bf just because things moved so fast I understand being worried but I’m so fucking happy cant you say #just once that despite it all you’re happy for me? I know I was happy for you at times I was also worried sick lmao #I make one cent tweet and you get mad because I didn’t say anything to you immediately when we’ve known each other for a while and it takes #me some time before I can do that like idk what else you want from me I wait so that I don’t explode and say something I don’t mean #I always have and everytime that’s a problem even though I’ve told you before #I just #idk #2022 killed this friendship I think and I hate that

[headphonemouse]

I love it so much when the miscommunication comes in the form of both characters learning from each other, not knowing the other learned from them, then acting in a way that lines up with the other's world view when the other expected them to do the opposite and now can't for the life of them understand what caused the change

#talking tag #example i read just now was when A is a perfect student because they need the opportunities to make their life better and B is a laid back #rich kid who's never had a reason to doubt their future #A wanted to get scholarships to go to a good college but B tells them to relax because B is confident in A's abilities 'your GPA doesnt #matter cuz i know youre more than good enough anyways' kind of talk #A starts relaxing a bit fueled by newfound confidence and the fuzzy feeling of a friend believing in them #B rethinks their words because they didnt know A's situation was so bad‚ and then considers taking things more seriously #B later finds out A got a full ride scholarship to a prestigious university! #B tries really hard to be supportive and push A to go take the opportunity #A is hurt because they finally learned the power of friendship and wanted to go to the same college and stay close #A does not know B is trying to be serious and think practically about opportunities and expenses‚ and assumes B just hates A and wants A #out of town #B does not know A appreciates B's company and assumes that theres no doubt that A will leave so B is trying to cope by being supportive

[princemick-archive]

booooo fuck vegetables 👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼

ur weak, veggies are gen one of the best things in human existence

#kyle.answers #icelattes #riel #every day I discover more abt u and get more dissapointed and rethink our friendship /lh

[culdogs]

my best friend just told me that she thinks timothee looks like a 13 year old

#i may have to rethink our 19 years of friendship #there’s unfortunately no accounting for taste #because we all know she’s wrong #a pale victorian child? #very possibly so #but 13??? #blasphemy #personal