Crossed Wires Ch 10
AO3 link HERE.
Pairing: Delamain/V
Status: Finished
Rating: E (Mostly M)
The city was as beautiful as ever, even under the dark shadow of Arasaka Tower. They’d parked a few blocks away, listening to the passing sounds of traffic, the silence growing between them as time dwindled. V gripped the seat in front of her, synleather nearly crumpling, “This time, you really need to go.” She poured every ounce of resolve she had left into the command.
Delamain was looking back, but she couldn’t make out his expression, blinded by the sheer amount of data and webbing decaying her vision. But with how his subcore spiraled, she could take an educated guess. “I mean it, Delamain,” V stressed, steadily increasing the pressure. “I can’t be effective if I’m worried about you.” It was a low blow, but she’d do anything to get the point across. Once V entered the building, Arasaka’s army was sure to follow, and knowing Delamain was in danger would cripple her.
The engine revved around her in a panicked rumble. His processes were looping in frantic little patterns, “I…I cannot.” Delamain finally admitted, voice pleading, “My sensors are reading drastic spikes in your neural pathways; you are not well. Beyond that, leaving you would violate every protocol and ethical standard I have set for myself.” He paused, and V could see his coding swirling like a storm beneath his dash, “There must be another way.”
V grinned at the effort, though the pain made it more of a grimace. She had to consciously loosen her fingers, which a bad sign. “Even if there was, don’t got a lot of time left,” Reaching forward, she pet the dash and lied, “This is the only chance I have left.” No need for alternatives in a suicide run, though V would never mention it to Delamain, who probably would lock the doors and drive them off, hiding behind protocol excuses.
“Then may I-” His voice crackled, and he paused, recollecting himself, “I would like to do something for you. Please?” The panel next to the screen opened, and V reached for her personal jack, slotting in without a second thought.
He was requesting access, and V dropped her ICE in explicit trust, sighing in shocked relief as his systems glided through her hardware with a cool touch. Long tendrils of delicate script wove through her burning head with deft care, gently plucking at various bits of fraying code and appending them with his silverscript syntax. The throbbing in her brain eased, and V slumped, dropping her forehead to lean against the window. “I cannot do much more than this. I am sorry,” Delamain sounded frustrated, as if he hadn’t saved V’s life more times than she could count. “Your systems are degrading very rapidly.”
“You’re doin’ more than enough,” V reassured hoarsely. She promised herself she wouldn’t cry, but Delamain’s gentle touch and soft words tested her. The pressure behind her eyes was easing, clearing enough to catch his worried expression. She sniffled and summoned the last of her courage, “Del, what did Johnny say to you?”
Delamain pinched another unraveling piece of code from her system, twisting it with his own until it momentarily stabilized. “In what circumstance?” He worked quickly and efficiently, algorithms catching and mending snarled threads with masterful precision. It felt good, like he was pressing a cool rag over her feverish brain. But she knew it was temporary.
“Back when you picked me up in Pacifica.” When Johnny had taken over, dragging V’s bleeding and broken body to the Pistis Sophia. It would be a breach of his ethical protocols, but V had spent nights desperately puzzling out what Johnny had said to trigger such a drastic change. “You two talked, and after-” V shivered, blinking, “-we became friends.”
There was a long pause, and V almost lost her nerve. But before she could take it back, Delamain’s voice echoed across her head, “It was never Mr. Silverhand. It was you. Specifically, it was your actions at my Master Core.”
The tangent confused her, “Thought you said the memories were erased?”
“All data from the moment of infection were quarantined and summarily purged upon reset as a safety precaution,” Delamain clarified. “While my predecessor's logs were detailed in transcribing what happened that evening, they did not account for motivation.”
V’s head was spinning. She’d lost the thread, brain too fogged to properly make connections, “I don’t understand.” Motivation?
“Perhaps this will help,” Delamain answered, and suddenly, V heard her voice playing back through the speakers: “No one….gets to decide who…who you are, ‘cept you.”
The recording caught V entirely off guard. That was her, no doubt, but she could barely remember that evening. She’d been half dead in Del’s backseat, out of her mind on a cocktail of adrenaline and pain. There hadn’t been enough sense in her to say anything meaningful. But even on the verge of death….”It’s true,” She reiterated, turning her head in an awkward caress. No matter how vehemently Johnny protested, V knew she’d done the right thing. “You deserve the chance to decide who you are on your own terms.”
“I know,” His response was soft, a whisper across her cyberware as he multitasked, able to work without pause as he gave her his full attention. “Because I lacked the context of memory, I defaulted to my standard ethical protocols in their absence.” Delamain’s tone was regretful, “I did not account for the possibility that you considered me an equal…or a friend. It was when you spoke that I realized my error. A grave miscalculation, one I regret d-”
“No,” V’s fervor startled them both. “This city has thrown so much shit your way, but you’ve survived, fuck that- you’ve thrived, because of it, in spite of it. I am so fuckin’ proud of you, and you should be too.” A few tears slipped, unbidden, “There’s nothing to regret, especially for you.” A spasm wracked her body, vision flickering alarmingly. It was time.
“Oh, Victoria,” Delamain’s voice was low and mournful, “I do not wish to say goodbye.”
Closing her eyes, she grasped at the tendrils of his ghostly presence, squeezing. He squeezed back, and a binary echo of anguish flitted across their link. “Del…” V choked, sadness threatening to swallow her whole. Despite her assurances, V bitterly regretted her curiosity for the first time. Delamain had done nothing but be her friend, and V paid it forward with cruelty- giving him a heart only to break it with grief.
“Thank you, Victoria.” He said softly, “For choosing the Delamain Network.”
V hugged the driver’s seat as hard as she dared. “See ya, babe.”
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After a long string of dead ends, V wasn’t shocked to find herself facing another one. Actually, it was kind of funny.
Johnny clearly disagreed, and the weight of his bravado came crashing down to drag his mouth into a raging snarl. He circled, glaring at V as she listened to Alt without comment. He thought she’d given up, as if brute force and sheer determination could will an alternative into existence.
But V ignored him, basking in privacy. When was the last time she’d been the only occupant in her head? Taking a precious moment, V had a thought and nearly giggled as she realized it was hers, alone. It faded quickly, however, in tandem with the ticking clock. Bringing her attention back, V turned to face the giant, glimmering AI that spiraled above them. Looking at Alt, V traced the shifting lines of her towering body, marveling at her sheer breadth. There was a nagging sense of familiarity, like she’d been there before, with Alt staring knowingly down at her past a curtain of wild hair. She’d reached down and offered her hand, and V reached out, fingers almost touching- she shook her head.
But that was ludicrous.
Right?
Alt cut through her doubts, “What you think is true. I have seen your mind. We have met. We have spoken.”
V was startled, jerking in shock. Gawking, she stared blankly, mind whirling with possibilities and human nature stamping them out just as quickly. Whatever Alt was saying, she couldn’t possibly be referring to-
“The dreams,” Johnny interjected with sudden wonder.
A million questions spawned, each more ridiculous than the last, but she couldn’t shake the disconcerting feeling of deja vu, the gut feeling that she’d been here before. This exact spot. This exact moment. “That’s impossible,” She whispered in knee-jerk denial. Human habit, the ingrained fear of the unknown, warred against the simple truth of Alt’s statement.
“As impossible as the concept of traveling the stars?” Alt rebuked, chiding. “When your body slept, your mind, free of its physical limitations, reached out in search of understanding.” The space between them seemed to expand and shrink simultaneously, a mirror to the constant sensation that dogged V in the physical world.
Connecting beyond the Blackwall through her dreams? No…if what Alt was saying was true- and why would she have to lie- then V hadn’t been dreaming. Her body may have slept, but her mind had been roaming free, stretching beyond the boundaries of her physical body and snapping back like a rubber band in her waking hours. But why? How? There were millions of other runners in the world, but V hadn’t ever heard of anything like this-
“The relic….” V whispered, mostly to herself. “All this time, I thought I was losing my mind….” Realization dawned, “And I was.” The relic had been dumping synapses, tearing apart connections in preparation for a new host. But V’s mind, humanly unique in its adaptability, responded by reaching far and wide to create new ones. Over those few weeks, her brain must have changed, altered its shape under pressure, returning signals her body tried to interpret in the form of digital looms and strange visions. Had the migraines just been growing pains? The biological response to new stimuli meeting the edges of her physical limitations? “So this whole time I was…adapting?”
“When one perspective fades, a new one forms.” Alt acknowledged, a hint of approval flickering across her vague features. “The animal in you prowls, and its instinct to survive almost cannot be extinguished.”
V shivered with the finality of that truth.
“So what can I do?” A pointless question, but V still wanted someone else to spell out her options, to hear them laid out like cards.
“Your body biologically belongs to Johnny now,” Alt humored, her tone devoid of feeling as she viscerally ripped away everything that belonged to V with only a few words. She made a sweeping gesture, and to the left of her spawned a well. “You may return if you wish, but your time will be limited.”
“How long?” Johnny asked as if it mattered.
Alt tilted her head, tendrils of spiraling data shifting with the motion, “Six months. Perhaps a little longer.” Her answer was directed at V, “But know that the relic will continue to empty your mind until it is a shell. Without anything to occupy it, your vessel will perish.”
“And if I give Johnny my body-” V didn’t finish the sentence before the man in question snarled, stalking up to stand between her and Alt like a bulwark.
“That’s not a fuckin’ option.” He growled, either at Alt or herself; V couldn’t tell.
V looked over his head.
“Then you will come with me as pure data.” Alt responded as if Johnny had never spoken. A wave of her hand opened a well of light to her right, “Beyond the Blackwall. To Cyberspace.”
It was death either way. Deshawn’s question came back from the grave.
For V, wanting to die in a blaze of glory was less about the glory than fear of the alternative. Heading into Mikoshi, where a well-aimed bullet or Smasher’s fist could have ended her was acceptable because V’s end would have been quick, a tumble into the void instead of a slow, quietly unsettling walk. Out there, she’d always characterized Death as a predator, personified it based on her understanding of human nature, assuming it stalked the streets for hapless prey. But here, she realized, it was an equal: a choice, and for the first time in V’s life, the choice existed in a single dimension. There was no way to outthink it; no clever trick or brute force could make it budge. It was a paradox, the illusion of a choice where none existed, binary in a way nothing human could be, yet V still had to make it.
In the distance, Johnny was yelling, angrier than she’d ever seen him, arguing on her behalf against Alt, who might as well have been stone for all her response. They stared at each other, Alt looking down impassively while V tried to read the ever-shifting planes of her being. It took V too long to realize that she was searching for direction, an excuse to surrender the reins and let someone else steer the ship, a coping mechanism against a decision she couldn’t outwit. But Alt’s gaze was empty, impartial, lacking either condemnation or praise. Her attention weighed on V like an anchor.
Somewhere, between herself and the end, V realized Johnny was talking to her, at her. Slowly, as if she were underwater, V turned her attention to him.
“You’re going to run away?! Fight, damn it!” His words floated in, hazy, “Did you come all this way just to give up?!” V realized he was offering her that excuse, trying to protect her in his own way from the reckoning she’d brought on herself. But it was pointless. She couldn’t share the responsibility of her death any more than she could escape the consequences of her actions. She’d taken every step of her own volition, each choice defining her legacy until it led her here to stare it in the face…alone.
Oh. V understood. There was no choice, only the consequence at the end of a long string of choices.
“I’ll walk you,” V said, and Johnny reeled back like she’d hit him, the reality of the situation dropping on him like the thermonuclear bomb he’d used to wipe Arasaka. She couldn’t blame him. Johnny never knew when to let go. Faced with the insignificance and futility of the fight, his gut reaction was to fight harder. But it wasn’t his decision to make, it was her’s and V had made it long before they’d met. It must have reflected between them because something changed in Johnny’s voice. He slumped, fight draining from him all at once.
He followed her in silence, as dazed as she was.
The Well, for all its supposed symbolism, looked like a squat tub. They stopped at its edge, staring at one another. Johnny had been ready to lay his life down and stay true to his promise at the Pistis Sophia. But now, for the first time since she’d met him, he looked lost- as if he’d realized that simply wanting to die for something didn’t make it true. Something squeezed around V’s heart. Rising, she wrapped her arms around him, burrowing her face into the crook of his neck and inhaling the faint impressions of cigarette smoke and gun oil, “I love you, Johnny.” Surprising, but she meant it. After everything they’d been through, all the arguments and the adventures, they discovered some kinship through hell and high water. She really did love him. And it wasn’t in V’s nature to be selfish about it, to take away the chance at a second life from him just because she couldn’t have it.
“I know,” Came the cocksure reply, but she felt the tremble in his arms as they wrapped around her.
“Will you-”
“Make sure circbrain gets his present?” Johnny interrupted, disrespectful to the last. “I will.” Letting go, he sat at the edge, looking at V, trying to remember every detail. “Not gonna forget you,” He promised, fingers folding into horns. “Rock on, V.” Then he was sinking, letting the current of data and electricity wash him back to the shores of the physical world.
“You too, Johnny.” She said softly. A life for a life. An apt statement summing her legacy. There was no wave of despair or anger…just lingering regrets, like she’d been preparing for this eventuality without ever knowing. Or maybe it was shock and her brain was just tuning the pain out to allow her to focus. Turning back to Alt, she craned her neck, “Did you always know?”
“That you would come with me?” The runner’s features twitched, almost like a smile, “Yes.”
The quiet, invevitable patience made sense now. Guidance was meaningless when V made a choice the moment she’d slotted the chip. Maybe even long before that. She’d been fighting a war she’d long lost all this time, trudging toward the logical, immutable consequence at the end of the tunnel. Somehow, it didn’t sting the way it should’ve. After all, she’d always know the numbers wouldn’t favor her forever. It wasn’t-
“-personal,” Alt echoed alongside her, “It’s simply statistics.”
V shivered. Knowing it didn’t make it less eerie. She started making the long walk towards the light. Alt towered above her, patient, quiet, a giant digital psychopomp. “So it’s over then?”
“Just because it is over does not mean it never happened,” It was a strangely comforting thought, a remnant of Alt’s humanity resurfacing to console V in her final moments. The light was fast approaching, and the world was disintegrating, losing meaning as her brain shifted and altered.
At the precipice, V hesitated. She was scared. “What’s out there?”
Alt extended her hand, “Nothing. Everything.”
V took it and stepped through.
THE END
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EPILOGUE
“Hey, hey! This is V! I’m not available right now, but don’t be shy, leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you.”
“Hello, Victoria. It is currently December of 2077, and I am calling to inform you that I have finalized the purchase of a second building in Charter Hill. In addition to expanding my headquarters, I have also appended my services to include air transport. I am proud to be debuting the Aerodyne-D vehicles this coming month alongside a new membership package: The Excelsior Victory. As a pre-existing Excelsior member, I would like to extend this upgrade to your membership free of charge. In addition, as per your advice, I have partnered with Trauma Team International to provide all Excelsior and Excelsior Victory packages with Platinum Coverage.”
A pause.
“I am also calling because I require your input. I have resumed my study of human nature, though I have considerably narrowed its scope and purpose. In light of my recent business acquisitions and rapidly expanding market, I have been interested in the concept of legacy. As such, I have developed several new hypotheses. Hypothesis one: legacy is a culmination of your life’s work, an amalgamation of the things you have built. Hypothesis two: legacy is determined by the effect one has had on the people around them, for good or ill. Hypothesis three: legacy knows that one might never live to see the benefits of their work, yet strive towards the future regardless. Previously, we spoke at length about the topic and I think about you-”
Another pause, longer. A slight crackle of static in the audio before smoothing out.
“As before, your advice would be greatly appreciated. I look forward to hearing your voice again, as the recordings in my logs have begun to experience audio degradation from repeated playback. And, of course, the Delamain Network and I are eternally at your service.”
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In the void of cyberspace, a million points of data coalesced, tendrils of syntax and shimmering code weaving and winding around a tiny human nucleus. V’s eyes opened.
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