#rn I'm feeling kinda numb idk . what to feel

[alicedrawslesmis]

I hope my presence here hasn't been just me complaining, cause I haven't dedicated myself to art in a while lol I am Burned Out... I don't like being a negative presence

in the Positivistic sense not in the new age sense? you know? not pretending to be happy when things are bad, I want my presence to be pulsating with life even if I'm sad or angry or numb. I try not to fall into negation. Most millennial humor I grew up with is this kinda ironic 'haha I'm so depressed 🤪' thing I just don't vibe with at all. I like feeling all my feelings. If I'm depressed and numb to it all then good, lets explore that. If I'm lost and aimless then good, let's be aimless and see where this can lead me to. I want to feel the full breadth of human experience and not live life negating it. I want to reflect on what I'm doing I want to create new things! Work with the world and not despite it

but unfortunately cause I'm totally lost at sea rn this means my posts are lacking and so the internet "persona" ends up being only someone who complains. That's not where I'm at. I don't even know if this makes sense to other people who can't see my brain, am I even making sense. Anyway

I am experimenting with a lot of things art-wise to get my groove on. I've bean reading a bunch. I've been lifting weights which is turns out is super fun and I should've started ages ago. Like I didn't believe the gym could be fun, I thought people were just faking it but it turns out like. It's just self expression like any other activity. And I love to see number go up. And I love making that face you do when you're lifting heavy weights you know the one? And grunting. It's very freeing to just be able to do that. Like all my life I've been bogged down by thinking the gym is for assholes and that I should try to do the Normal Sports that I honestly fucking hate. I hate ball sports. I don't understand swimming as a sport you're trapped doing laps in that freaking pool it's the most boring sport of all time. Sure I liked thinking about nothing and swimming but laps in a pool?? Devil invention. Running is kinda the same although you can run interesting places and aren't trapped in a blue rectangle. Just do the sport you actually want to do. Go to a fight club idk. Learn to kickbox. Punch some stuff. Do push ups, I love doing push ups.

What else? I've been walking my dog for 2hours every day late in the afternoon and getting to hang with his friends at the dog park. He isn't very friendly but he's also not aggressive so it's mostly chill. He's made a friend named Draco Malfoy (she made sure to tell me it was her kid daughter's idea) and everyone calls my dog Sirius Black cause he's got black fur and is, and this is the technical term, giant. Kind of annoying that Harry Potter is still the main thing people go to to describe him. Except for one security guard who I thought was gonna say he looks like Sirius but then said he looks like Sam from Twilight. This was an awesome day

I've been trying to sew and mend my clothes. I replaced the buckle in my bag cause it was broken and I feel kind of amazing about it.

I've been writing some stuff. All unfinished yet. I want to see if I can finish the short story I've been trying to work on besides the Les Mis scripts. I have trouble finishing things I write, which is a problem that, if AO3 is any indication, is probably the world's most common roadblock in writing.

Went to the satanic themed goth club on good friday, that was so fun. We had a blast. Place was PACKED. All goths have the same sense of humor.

I guess that's it for life stuff. I do feel kinda bad that I can't get myself to make fanart right now. I'm just having thoughts on the nature of art and of fanart and the impact of it on the world as a whole. And particularly thoughts on social media and the internet and what it even *is*. What is it for? We really need to work that out.

#personal #it's just a long post not a sad post. just little life updates

[brainrot-stitch]

Thinking of simpler times.. (rant/vent ig)

It's nice just to like

Be able to lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling and hear the crickets outside and no electronic noises. It reminds me of the 2 hurricanes that happened a few yrs back, and like I know it's fucked up to think about because it was horrible, but at the same time it was nice in a way idk how to describe well. It was miserable and hot but I was with family and didn't have to worry or stress about people or grades.. we just kinda existed for a while. I don't want more hurricanes to happen, that would be crazy, but I miss what came after.

Idk I think I've just been getting worked up over a lot of stuff recently and ik other people have it like so so much worse so I don't rlly like to complain abt it, especially in the gc, but nights like these where it's dark and quiet and calm just really get to me I guess. Nights where I can just think about everything and cry before I have to wake up the next day and repeat everything over and over and over. Every day is so bland and numb with sudden spikes of panic mixed in and at the end of the day I barely remember it. I don't remember so so much of my life that I think I should, and I don't know why I just forget. Weather something good or something bad happens I know it will eventually be faded and forgotten just as I will one day.

I'm not really big on being remembered, I've come to accept the fact of mortality and there will be a day where we will each be thought of for the last time and that is when we're truly gone. But for the short amount of time I am remembered, I don't want to be remembered like this. Like who I am and what I do and how I act right now. I don't know what I want to be remembered like, but it's not this.

There's so many issues that seem like the end of the world, that feel inescapable, and I know they're not. I feel like I'm either just being dramatic or gaslighting myself into believing they're bigger issues than they already are. Anything could send me into a spiral that night, from the smallest issue to the biggest one. Even if not, they still have an effect on my day to day life and I don't know how to fix it. And other people are always either confused or upset but they don't understand, and I don't know how to help them understand.

It's hard to care about my grades when there is literally no point and all I do is rot all day. Even if I did care I'm not smart enough to get a college tuition, and we definitely can't pay for it ourselves. They say it's gonna leave a permanent mark that people will see on my resume, but there is a good likelihood I won't make it past adulthood with the way things are going, so why should that matter. Plus it's so so hard to focus. Even if I try I get distracted or start daydreaming or The Thoughts come back. And people will say "oh just pay attention" or "just don't daydream duh" and I cant. Like I physically cannot I am unable to do so. Plus the daydreams happen at random half the time and then I'm not in school anymore I'm in another world and everything's either going really well with things I wish would happen irl or everything is going absolutely horribly and u can't stop it. They're like "just do your work it's not that hard" I hear what you're saying but you're not hearing me bro. I can't 'just do it' and nobody seems to understand that except specific strangers on the internet.

There's other issues too but I am too scared to share them on tumblr rn and I know this may seem kinda dumb but if I live on this will affect me for life but it's so so numb and I'm so SO tired allll the time and sleep never helps at all and I literally just rot all day...

Literally the only reason I take care of myself at this point is so people don't judge me and idk if that's normal or not but I'm assuming it's not.. like if I have to go somewhere ill take a shower and brush my teeth and wash my face and put on perfume n shit but if not I will have a 'self care day' but idk if it's self care if the only thing I do is rot in bed all day and only get up to go to the bathroom or (sometimes) get food/water. I sleep so much and the days all blur together and it's so so so soo bad in summer. I think I have like reverse seasonal depression bc like when it's cold and dark and raining I THRIVE like never before (even if the constant tired doesn't go away, even if everything still sucks and I still hate the people I care about the most) it's just so nice. But in summer when it's hot and miserable and humid and my ac doesn't work and you can feel the mosquitos it is such a fucking low for me idk how to even describe it. When when we get the 2 months off for summer break it's so bad bro I think that's one of my lowest points excluding being in school when it's hot. If I didn't have church I know I would go those 2 months and not take care of myself at all and ik it sounds gross and it is and I hate it but why even try if I just fucking rot on my bed like a useless ass beached whale.

The crickets are gone

I miss them 💔

I don't get why it's so hard to sleep when I'm so so fucking tired or why I rot all day or why I'm so fucking angry and irritable all the time for no reason and it sucks ass tbh. And idk why I can't fucking do things like normal people can or why I think differently or why my thoughts are so fucked up and I disappoint the people I love. I don't really wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna be here much longer, but I know I have to because if I do it it'll break them in ways they will never be able to fix, and I don't wanna be that selfish. I want to help people, I want to be confident, and I wanna make people smile. I want to be able to ignore the daydreams, to block out the characters in my head and The Thoughts that I hate so much, and I wanna stop doing shit like this when I don't deserve it.

But sometimes all you can do is find a cold, dark, and quiet place, and think for a while.

Sorry for the long post gang, see yall with a silly goofy post another day <3

#rant #vent #:3 #tw unalive thoughts #only near the end tho #long post #gross why do i have skin eughhhh #i nees to un body rn #why havent i hit the bottom

[shoezuki]

What’s going on with ur wrist?? Are you ok? You better demand ur doctor treat it seriously. Really yell at them if they don’t listen

Thank u for caring it's like. Very hard to describe the pain but like my dominant/left hand is kinda numb rn and I feel aching/shooting pain when I move my fingers esp my thumb n pointer finger. In its a constant ache I can feel In my wrist. Like cold hot pain idk.

N ya I need to like. Be more insistent w my doc. Like he's always been very 'take some advil' w any chronic pain I've gone to him bout but it's hard like. Before I could go to a walk in clinic to get another perspective to pressure my doc. But literally all clinics in my town are gone. The closest to a walk in is going to the fucking ER and I'm not doin that. I jus hate goin to the doctor so much and leaving w a pat on the back

#i technically have a like. surgery oined up. to remove the mass on my wrist. but idk when the fuckthats sposed to be #it could be in a year #im like damned sure when i go tomydoc he'll jus be lile ok wait til ur surgery #but like. it hurts. im jus barely usin my thumb onmy phone rn n it feels horrible #i think the cyst i got is fuckin w my tendons but idk #sorry to rant im extremely worried tbh cuz i know my pain has only been gettin worse but it isso pressnrt noe #anon #negativity

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

Lowkey, I find it crazy how my brain works now.

In the past I'd be terrified of my abusers name or presence, now I can say his name freely and him being around still gets me all shaky, but I can still function almost perfectly.

I haven't seen him for a while, bur I feel like if push came to shove, I'd be ok around him again

Sometimes I picture nyself being friends with him again. What would he be like now? Would he treat me like an actual person and be an honestly good person, or would he still treat me like utter shit and sexualize me? I wonder that often.

One of my friends have been getting a lot of guys getting crushes on her, and this is what triggered me to have these thoughts.

Without my wife to kinda keep me grounded, I've been just lost in thought.

I'm scared of when he sees me again, what he'll say or do.

I'm in my glow up Era rn because I'm getting my shit together, and I'm scared in all honesty.

But, sometimes I wish I wasn't getting better. Like, I'm getting better right, haven't have an episode in weeks, but sometimes a trigger comes in.

I still don't like touch. Sometimes my friends grab me and my fight or flight response kicks in and I fucking grab their thoughts. This happens when someone touchs my legs, arms, shoulders, or just anywhere under my neck. One of my friends likes to touch the back out my neck because I'm super sensitive there and if someone touched me there I shoot up like a rocket. I'm fine with that because I find it funny.

I remember when a new kid in my class grabbed my chin unprovoked. Mentally I was ok, but my eyes started water and I was shaking like crazy. Mentally I was normal, but my body was shaky and terrified.

There's also one thing I've noticed about my crush.

He's Dominican. He reminds me a lot of my abuser, not in looks tho, in the way he presents himself. His resting face I'd so similar to his that it's terrifying. Like it's a pissed off numb face, but his smile is what makes me like him so much. It contradicts the reminder of my abuser and I feel fine again.

Mentally I've been a lot happier, but my temper and emotions have been everywhere.

Im a lot more moody and easier to piss off, and a lot more intrusive and going back to old habits.

I've noticed that I've been aexualizing myself a lot more recently. Idk if it's a confidence boost in my appearance or what but it's mostly when I'm alone.

but overall life has been moody. It's mostly my mind contradicting it's self.

Like, my scars have completely faded and I miss them because I felt like it made me prettier, and I feel incomplete without them.

And then my classmates and old volleyball teammates are all fucking annoying. And then random niggas I don’t know are getting on my nerves.

Sometimes I wish I could go back, but Sometimes I wish I could stay. Contradiction this, Contradiction that.

I want something bad to happen to me, or least remember my trauma. I only remember snippets of what happened between me and my abuser, but I'm 95% sure he never like, SA'ed me or anything. But, my reactions stuff, especially sexual shit, I don't think it's only him, something else had to happen.

I have a guess, two actually. One of them is definitely not true because, no.

But, I have a really vague memory from when I was little, before I met my abuser.

I think it was 2nd grade, and a family member from my mom's side picked me up. I don't remember if it was a dream or reality.

All I remember after that though was my parents being fucking pissed at him, and my mom telling me that if he ever came to pick me up, don't go with him.

And my dad was pissed at him for years. Even saying to never let him in our house, even after he died.

Just, so much confusion and so little conformation.

I have memories of me being picked up from my bed and being taken to lord knows where. Memories from a house my parents had when I was a little babu.

I just. I just wanna remember the full picture.

[alphabetboyluvr]

I feel numb after finishing night crawlers. But in a good way. Kinda.

Idk.

I cant believe anyone has ever tried to do u wrong in life Holly. Fuck Virgo boy, fuck that motherfucking stupid ass fucking bitch ass boy. Fuck everybody else who has ever made u feel not happy and deserving of all the good things in life.

I Hope you get ur own jk one day. Ur work and art and writing is life changing. I love u I love u. Keep writing male characters that would do anything for their oc, pls pls. U are my favourite writer. I feel like I’ve finally met my fan fic soulmate. Or my soulmate in general. Me confessing my love for Holly rn lol.

<<3333

whenever I tell people the full virgo boy lore they're like holly wtf and I'm just there like he he it's fine :D and they're like.... no???

I'm afforded with so much love and kindness from those around me and also you guys here that honestly the boy troubles don't seem to matter as much these days (I say as if I've been able to have a functional, healthy relationship since then lmao)

there's so much of him in what I write - I always say bd jin and bd jk are both inspired by him and its true. its just a shame they exist within the same person </3

this is honestly the sweetest message. literally how can I be sad over boys when I'm on the receiving end of such kindness??? so lucky. so appreciative.

I hope you have the loveliest day, and please know 'fuck that motherfucking stupid ass fucking bitch ass boy' had me laughing for a good minute or so. impeccable energy✨️✨️

mwah x

#honestly thank you sooooooo much #ask #holly #virgo boy

[dreamhot]

okay this might be slightly random but I don’t really have someone to talk to about this and I just need to rant but it genuinely upsets me that people are pretending that sapnap punching a wall means he has anger issues because for a lot of people there’s more to it than what is essentially “white male rage”. my mental illnesses have essentially numbed my emotions so that now anger is one of the few things I actually can feel (when you don’t let yourself feel anything it will essentially all come out all at once and mostly as anger) and having these outbursts feels absolutely horrible and they are draining and exhausting and you are in danger of hurting yourself (and others if they are around) and idk where I’m going with this but I just feel like it’s very telling that this is coming from people who claim they care about destigmatising mental illness but then completely ignore the ugly sides of it that they can’t personally relate to

i was offline for most of the hole in the wall discourse (so to speak) so i wasn't around to see people's takes, but . i certainly saw ... some polarising opinions when i came back. i thought the original comment was a joke Anyway so when i saw sapnap's priv tweets having to explain himself, it was like seeing a shark fin on the horizon like oh boy i wonder what i'm missing rn

under a cut bc this is kinda long and mildly aimless

in any case, i think anger is an emotion that people will inevitably have Very different stances on, particularly bc it's one of the toughest emotions to manage (imo). it's so often repressed or ignored, and people aren't taught to deal with it in a healthy manner. sometimes it's the result of mental illness, as you mentioned, and sometimes it's just ... There. and i think it's not wholly unreasonable for people to be wary about violent outbursts (for what i hope are obvious reasons), but that wariness can coexist with understanding for /why/ the anger might be there, ykwim? suffice to say you can't just project a narrative onto someone else's emotions & demand they control their feelings in xyz way (assuming they're not hurting themselves or others ofc, not that 'control' is the answer there anyway, but yknow)

like. there's a dent in my wall from someone who kicked it when they were angry at me. that person was very mentally ill, and the kick was the result of a collection of stressors that got set off by something (innocuous but pissy) i did, but it was still scary. i'm not a remotely physically aggressive person, so that isn't how my anger manifests, and it can be frightening to see it happen around me. so like ... i get why they did it, and i'm sympathetic to the reasoning, but i'm still uncomfortable with it. i'm not certain if that falls under stigmatising, but i don't think it's necessarily ... an issue, as long as it doesn't become a demonising outlook, i suppose

it's also why the shit i saw like 'i would let him punch holes in my walls' made me feel so unnerved like man this isn't something cute to be joking about, no matter the reasoning behind it. but idk

sorry this was mostly just me rambling, but like. tl;dr anger is a tough emotion to grapple with, whether you're experiencing it or watching someone else express it, and i think we can be compassionate about its causes while still being mindful of our own comfort levels

#smile.ask #anon #discourse cw

[mcrmadness]

Okay so. Generalised anxiety disorder taking it to whole new levels tonight.

I just got back home, and should go to sleep soon, but I just imagined a new horror scenario that's probably scarier than anything ever before. I can't even write it down, that's how scary it feels! Going to the OCD side of my anxiety where magical thinking is a thing. Anyway, let's just say it's one of those "what if?" thoughts and it was about paralysis, and now I'm super anxious and don't wanna go to sleep at all. It's because of something minor that happened today and kinda traumatised me, but of which I can't say more about even if I wanted to. My arms just turned slightly numb randomly and I think it might have been because of the posture of my back, and I've been freaking out every since. Even when my arms and back and anything can become numb just by leaning my arm in a certain way against a sofa's back rest or keeping my hand behind my head. Its just something that always happens, but today it was scarier than usually for some reason.

In general, it's again one of those worse days with my anxiety. I had a bit of anxiety in Berlin too but for other reasons and other intrusive thoughts. But at home it's constantly about my mortality and I get so much anxiety just from the fact I have a body because I can't control my health, which I normally don't even have problems with! But still I again feel so exhausted because I can't know if I'll develop health problems eventually or not. I know anxiety and stress are not helping with that at all.

Idk, I don't know why it has gone to this again. I feel like I'm burnt-out again and I haven't even done anything. I was to Berlin, which was amazing, but the life in my own city feels suffocating. I don't think my anxiety would go anywhere even if I did live in Berlin, but I might still have less time for irrational anxiety and more time for nice things. But maybe it's the occupational therapy, and me applying to a school (and being accepted to there), and sll that that's making me so tired. Like, I'm mentally ill after all, I'm not able to work rn.

I'm also feeling scared because I'm always terrified of my depression coming back. I always start having panic attacks when I go through simular emotions and thoughts I had when depressed, because that time was some of the worst years of my life and I don't want to ever go through that again. The only way out was antidepressants and this time I don't have that, because I don't want to touch pills ever again.

I'm just so tired of being afraid. Often of my own mind. I've been st home for almost 2 weeks now and this is still going on. I just miss Berlin, or want to go just somewhere else that is not my city. At the same time being elsewhere is awesome because new things, but also exhausting because of my dissociation, and because sometimes my anxiety finds me even from another city and it's not fun when the realization of my mortality and vulnerability hits me.

I feel like I really need to talk this through with someone/just anyone. It's getting too heavy for just person right now, and I don't seem to find a way to get it out peacefully.

#mcrmadness venting #tw intrusive thoughts #anxiety #generalised anxiety disorder

[blueempty]

It was super nice out today

I'm finally bordering on fully healed from my illness. I think after not eating for two days my stomach is kinda unsure how hungry I am throughout the day so I might've overeaten today but I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm just worried about tomorrow cuz I'm supposed to go into work to make up for the 4 days I missed and idk how long I'm gonna be there or what I'm doing but I wont have food readily available unless I bring it

I got really lucky the night I got sick cuz basically what happened was I grabbed PDQ on the way into work, ate it for lunch, then somewhere around like 8pm started feeling off, and then around 10:30 I was so cold my fingers were going numb. But the lucky thing was that I was in sort of the middle step of a test that would've kept me there till like 1 or 2am, so I was able to throw my samples in the fridge and bail

But anyway the positive thing is I'm better now. I felt pretty productive yesterday cuz I did a bunch of stuff around the apartment and took a really good nap. Today was slightly less productive but the humidity was low and it was cool out so I let the outside air cycle through the apartment while I took a low quality but comfy nap out near the bird. And before that me and my friend beat Barony for the first time. By doing it as a Skeleton I unlocked the ability to use the Conjurer class for the other monster races, and while Insectoid Conjurer turned out way worse than I even thought, Vampire Conjurer kinda whips ass and I'm having a really good time with it. Finding good team composition is really hard when youre both playing monsters though so I may just be normal and play a human next time we do multiplayer

But ye, I'm gonna try to finish my current patch Signalis run soon and I wanna see how fast I can 100% Mario Wonder again just off memory. Thats my main two projects rn I guess. It feels weird losing 4 days to like hungry fever dream status but I'll get a handle on everything soon. It always lowkey feels nice when I get to act unemployed though I gotta say

Marigolds are bouncing back also. Apparently fall is the season where they die but theyre looking better since ive been misting them every day

Peace and Long Life

#skyposting #thoughtposting #tw disordered eating

[horce-divorce]

got my teeth pulled!!!! sedation is very different from anesthesia, it was weird (not bad). they told me I "wouldn't remember" and that's only mostly true, I do remember some of it, but luckily nothing upsetting. no apparent complications, I kept my teeth and one is intact (!), and although my face feels very.... Like..... Idk tired and sore? And I'm sure I don't WANT to feel what's happening in there rn? it's now been like 4 hours since I was discharged and my face and tongue are still numb enough that I can't really control them and it's bothering me as much as the pain did lol. I haaaaaaaate having a numb face. I hate this shit. I definitely will take this over being properly conscious during a removal but I still hate it very much.

This was my biggest issue getting dental work in high school too. They put like 7 or 8 fillings in at once one time and numbed a good 2/3rds of my face. It didn't hurt but I cried for HOURS afterwards bc numbness sure is ......... A type..... of sensory experience, lol. It's especially bothersome bc like right out of surgery I felt pretty good and was chatting w my mom in the car and I realized pretty quickly that chatting hurt more and made my face noticeably less numb. So I relaxed and took a lil doze and now I'm.... More numb again??? I hate this shit. Leave my body and begone demons. I want to remember what it's like to Feel Normal

I'm worried about eating (still haven't yet as of 4pm) bc that's already such an issue for me and NOW I can't smoke any of the weed I still have, bc that creates mouth suction just like a straw (unless maybe I draw on it thru my teeth...? Kinda cold on my stitches to inhale that way, seems a bit risky, but maybe doable? I do not want dry socket tho soooooo idk)... Don't have any RSO/gummies, smoke is the only option. So. Wish me luck again lmao, next up: I will try sooo hard to drink milkshake and Not Barf

#me #medical stuff

[howllscastle]

hi, ally! please take a break if you wish to, your good well-being always comes first, so if you need to focus on yourself, please do that. and when you'll be back, we're ready to welcome you with open arms! i'm also very sorry for the situation you're in right now, but sometimes crying is better than keeping it all inside, so don't worry about not being able to stop once you start; maybe let it all out? but just please take care of yourself, angel, love u ♡

#thank u sm : ( #this rly meant a lot ... #rn I'm feeling kinda numb idk . what to feel #never thought I'd miss loud and obnoxious barking this much #but for now my tears are safely staying in my eyes lmao #now later?? that may be a different story #but anyways #rly truly thank u : ( #ilysm you're so sweet i just- #💗💗💗💗💗 #also i hope you're doing well and taking care too 🥺 #angie🍑 #mail✉

[airbenderedacted]

hhellooo , i need a pickmeup soon or i’ll Die

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ  aah,,..,....

#i was doing really good today i got up early and cleaned the house adn was just super productive and now i feel. B a d #like i was doing good!!!! i had the whole day to keep doing really good- and i kept on!!!! i WAS!!!! that's really great!!!! but.. now..... #idk it's just.. where did that go..... i had a really great streak going and not it's kinda just been. like. punt #THE GOOD NEWS IS I'M NOT THAT UPSET LIKE USUALLY I'D FEEL ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE RN BUT UM. #IF I FEEL EVEN A TINY BIT NOT GOOD IN ANY WAY AND STAY FEELING THAT WAY FOR AN HOUR OR LONGER OR SMTHN IT SPIRALS. REALLY EREALLY BAD #SO!!!!! #MMM.. REALLY WANNA AVOID THAT AHAH #seriously lik e Very #but im.... having trouble finding something i wanna do now that'd feel interesting/engaging or make me happy...... uuhjhfhhhfhgggggghh.... #um also typing all this has me about to cry now so uh..... okay i guess im more upset than i thought and amjust weirdly also numb-ish to it? #idK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i think my being (comparatively) optimistic about it all has me feeling like... ''im fine just upset @ all that'' #meanwhile my rsd wants me to fucking implode so uh that's a combo i guess #what is that a mental-emotional conflict? #..yeah that sounds about right #aufbhsgdbhff h elp ;;;;v;;;;

[custom-emojis]

heyyyy,,,, idk if you're up for talking about drugs rn but I'm making and eating edibles with a friend soon. have you ever had edibles and are they any different than smoking? (theyre gonna be brownies if that changes anything)

Yeah totes. I’ve had plenty of edibles. If you’re making your own try your best to measure out accurately so you don’t like. Put too much. Also unless you’re using dispensary bought THC oil, expect it to kinda taste like weed. It tastes funky so I strongly recommend brownies bc it masks the flavour. If not brownies than peanut butter cookies for same reasons.

Do not eat a full one off the bat

It’s better to eat a quarter or half (depending how big they are) and then wait 30 mins to an hour. If you still feel nothing you can eat the rest.

As for what it does for you, yeah it’s a lot different than smoking. Smoking gives you a ‘head high’ while edibles give you a ‘body high’. A body high is more likely to make your body feel heavy or numb and like jelly. It’s a good time! Good luck with you and your friend and I hope it goes well!

#weed tw #drugs tw

[leolaroot]

They numb u up so good u dont even feel it while they r working on your cavity. Root canals are the same if thats what u end up needing. Honestly I love getting root canals cuz they give u vicodin to take home and I'm kinda trashy. Idk man. Good luck. I have no insurance cant even afford a dentist rn n I need one.

trypanophobia ive been visiting dentists my whole life. also for some reason the local numbing at the dentist's office doesnt work on me. last time i went to the dentist they gave me 18 needles (im not exaggerating) because it was a new dentist and they didnt understand why i wasnt freezing up lol