#she’s never angry or physical

[myeyesarebrighter]

My big kiddo is still struggling at school and it’s just getting worse. So I’m at the end of my rope and it’s all going to happen now. That full IEP eval can get done because whatever bandaid options they pushed aggressively on me are useless. The pediatrician provided forms for assessment, and we’ll get a callback once they’re all returned and reviewed.

I am in full scorch the earth mom mode. I have tried to move through the channels as the school wanted me to. We tried small steps and small fixes and this issue has gotten totally out of hand. Months and months have passed and my kid is suffering. I don’t hold any resentment at any individuals stuck in this bullshit process at the school, it’s probably even more frustrating for them to live this shit!

I have a lot of feelings about it all, but this weeks focus is on pushing on all paths for all solutions available. Her spending half her class reading in a chair in the office isn’t going to fucking work for me. I keep being told she’s “on track” but suddenly she doesn’t know what the book they read was about……. No shit. Probably because she was walking laps around the building when you taught that lesson. Or maybe she was melting down. Or just sitting quietly wishing for the windows to fall out so she could feel less terrible. Poor kiddo.

#it’s gonna be adhd for us #twodoxiesandtoomanyshoes #hyperactivity #impulsivity #not that cute quote Girl Version everyone wants to keep telling me about #she’s never angry or physical #but otherwise it’s exactly like you remember that one unhinged kid from elementary school acting like #Jesus take the wheel

[itspileofgoodthings]

that viral tweet about clothes looking dead on Taylor made me sooooooo angry tbh. the writer can meet me in the pit.

#it made me so angry for a hundred reasons #But mostly because it missed the truth in its own lie #and the truth is that —in the BEST way —Taylor always looks like herself #and always looks …… kind of wholesome and straightforward #in her own words she is neither edgy sexy or cool #not inherently #she can make the vigilante shit outfit (and dance tbh) seem businesslike after a while #but that’s not —as the writer believes —due to a lack of personality but an excess of it!!!! #and the girl is not sexy in the way of packaged pop stars. she has no slinky oozing charm #she is straight as an arrow and completely vibrant and completely a girl’s girl #she is also a dork!!!!! #(a good thing) #This is why I think about the rep tour version of Dress all the time 😭 #the softness 😭😭😭 the colors 😭😭😭 the joy the humor the fun😭😭😭😭😭 #I’ve never seen an explicitly physical love story (which dress is) told with those qualities #like. Revolutionary tbh #but yeah. Taylor no matter what she’s wearing remains herself and the truest parts of her shine through no matter what

[kraviolis]

i can tell when the author of a fanfic im reading had a peaceful childhood

#krav talks #not to pull the 'i have actual ptsd from a traumatic childhood' card but im gonna be real #i dont think some of y'all understand exactly what hunter's childhood was like #belos also most likely was not the verbally abusive type of parent. he was physically and emotionally abusive FOR SURE. ABSOLUTELY #but theres no shot he'd just yell at hunter. he doesn't get angry like that #case in point: What Happened To Caleb #hunter isnt gonna start crying from someone yelling at him out of anger. he'll get triggered MAYBE #hunter gets fighty if he gets triggered by ANY older authority figure. kikimora and lilith werent exactly kind to him either #the only way hunter cries is when his friends are around bcus he feels so safe with them #you know who would cry over being yelled at like that??? amity. #sure later in her life she probably got into screaming matches with odalia #but if u think even she wouldnt burst into tears if she got yelled at by any older female authority figure in her life #then u r wrong. sorry #hunter was not allowed to be vulnerable. it was too dangerous to be. he also had NO ONE while under belos's thumb. #amity had her siblings. they probably gave her safe spaces to cry it out after getting verbally abused by their mom #if lilith lost her patience and raised her voice at amity (not in a mean way bcus lilith would literally Never but no one is perfect) #amity would start crying for sure. and then lilith would feel like the worst person in the world. scum of the earth. #and god forbid hunter sees this exchange. he'd rip lilith a new one even if she'd already apologized #he wouldnt stop chewing her out for even daring to speak to The Amity Blight so disrespectfully unless amity physically pulled him away. #and then he'd threaten lilith and flash step amity away and immediately call luz #now if a MAN tried to yell at amity she would be three seconds away from throwing hands #but she wouldnt even need to worry about getting her hands dirty bcus hunter would already be shoving the man to the fucking ground #and threatening to end his entire life if he even stepped foot into hunter's field of view ever again #this is why its hard for me to imagine hunter living with darius post-belos... darius wasnt kind to him at first either. #and i think hunter living with someone who had actually had a role in his traumatic childhood would make him. regress #he'd fall back into old behaviors without even noticing. im not entirely sure darius would notice either #i love darius and i love darius & hunters bond so much #but it makes so much more sense and would be so much better for hunter to live with the nocedas for a while #not permanently. camila did great with paying for 6 kids under her roof but she was one emergency away from financial devastation #and i dont think hunter would want to live in the human realm permanently either

[dandelion-wings]

if it has "orders" that vague, would showing obvious enough dismay that Jean doesn't accept his agreement to them be "refusing"? In a situation where he is aware that having those tells caused him to get out of the order

I envision that as part of the ramping-up: the magic, as it grows out of control, starts actively reacting to anything Kaeya does to evade Jean's orders. Enforcing less and less explicit orders over time comes hand-in-hand with shutting down each new way Kaeya finds to work around them.

In fact, the cause-and-effect might even be the other way around! I'm tempted towards the notion that aside from the issue of a Vision's power being way more than the spell needs (and the Pyro-on-Cryo complications), the fact that a Vision responds to the intentions of their bearer is also playing into this. At the time Diluc does this magic he is still reeling from the revelation that Kaeya was deceiving him for all those years, and afraid on some level that he's going to somehow be able to wriggle out of this safeguard by fooling Jean as well. He does not want Kaeya to find any loopholes! And if I go with that, then the spell, turned by the Vision into an active rather than passive restraint, closes said loopholes as soon as Kaeya finds them--each strategy, including that one, has only a limited window before the magic starts triggering on it. And if that's what's happening, then forcing indirect or non-orders is just part of that overgrowth, because 'she didn't make it a direct order' is just another loophole, as far as that nasty mess of Abyssal magic and Vision power and Diluc's mistrust is concerned.

Even if that's not the specific mechanism I go with for why, I do know the magic is shutting down even that kind of passive resistance. The incident that makes Kaeya decide he has to tamper with it involves him being completely unable to give Jean mission-relevant information because it would have changed her strategy and the magic takes that as 'arguing' even though she would want to know. People get hurt because of it (including him)! No one gets killed this time, but... it's worth the risk to him not to put Jean in the position of being unwittingly responsible for someone's death. Because Diluc's coming home someday, and there's "so uh we might have anchored this on you without your knowledge or consent," and then there's "so uh someone died because we anchored this on you without your knowledge or consent," and there's both a moral event horizon here and, on the personal level, only so much forgiveness they can beg.

#fic nattering #asked and answered #honestly both of them regret the 'without her knowledge and consent' thing within the first like. couple weeks. a month max #but diluc assumes kaeya told her and if she's not sending him nastygrams he's not inclined to bring it up and invite them #while kaeya was relieved that he didn't have to tell her up until the point she told him not to break into eroch's office #and he went 'well i'll do it anyway she doesn't have to know' and then realized he physically could not #the moral/emotional regret came later for him because for a while he WAS just. so glad. #to have the choice of whether to betray khaenri'ah or mondstadt taken so entirely out of his hands #he is willing to accept that they've done something to jean that she'll be upset and angry about until the noose starts tightening #and suddenly he's running into the issues outlined above #and now it's SO different from straightforwardly obeying a regular order in the field of the sort that he should be obeying anyway! #(she would have hated even the original plan but kaeya is honestly okay with violating her personal sense of ethics that far #in the same way he was okay with lying to diluc for so long. which is to say he isn't but he's never felt like he has a choice)

[just-rogi]

.

#like I’m sorry #I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me #and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard #and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles #but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way #and has never worried about money as a kid #and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course #but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book #like she did everything she can to understand and relate #but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone #because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am #and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping #I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind #but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child #that are impacting by daily life and interactions #and like I feel so fucking alone #and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING #I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops #I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd #especially not therapists of color #I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months #and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me #like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having #flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking #and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me #because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before #like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very #upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis #and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it?? #I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary

[imogen-theimaginedcat]

AS I’ve said before posting on here really do be feeling like screaming into the void but I’d just like to announce that I saw my ex post something today (by accident, it was on an old account I logged into to change up) and I saw her face and read her words and now I have chest pains and it’s almost three am.

Someone PLEASE tell me they relate. To any of this. I feel so fucking alone.

#like listen the thing about my ex is that she represents so much more than three years down the toilet #it’s just that the break up legit almost killed me and I haven’t felt physically healthy in a long #LONG #time #i feel like shit #and I’m in love and happy but I also feel like shit #and I’m so angry and tired #and I also want to just. scream at my ex to try and make her UNDERSTAND #but SHE WONT #SHE WILL NEVER #as my current lovely partner said #she probably did love me #but she loved herself more #just. ugh #chest hurts

[paldogangsaan]

i love the idea of tory and sam becoming friends as much as the next person but are we ever going to acknowledge that tory broke into sam’s house, tried to kill her and hasn’t apologized?? and is probably never going to apologize?? and are we also going to acknowledge that sam doesn’t owe tory anything and therefore it makes sense that she doesn’t want to hear her out or help her when she comes knocking?? like yeah they’ve both been mean and rude to each other but yall act like tory’s a saint and sam is the devil when sam hasn’t gone out of her way to try to kill/maim tory

#like tory literally gave sam physical scars #and broke into her HOUSE and tried to KILL her and yall act like that’s fine #like i genuinely can’t get behind tory and sam being friends unless they both apologize #sam started the ‘rivalry’ but tory escalated it to a point where it didnt need to go #and yeah she was being manipulated by cobra kai but that doesnt change the fact that she needs to apologize #and i know that the writers wont ever put that in and even if they did yall would still find a way to paint sam as the villain #yalls hate for her is fucking visceral #yall see tory try to kill sam and go ‘girlboss!’ and then when sam doesnt want to hear her out yall hate her #and tbh sam didnt have to accept tory’s attempts at peace in (what i think is) s3 because again tory tried to kill her #and most of the fandom brushes that aside #also if the situations were reversed i KNOW yall would still be on tory’s side #and most of you will never acknowledge that tory’s past/home life wont ever excuse her trying to kill sam #yall love to talk about wanting to see women be allowed to be angry and enraged but when it’s sam yall hate it #like #if you don’t like sam that’s fine but don’t be fucking stupid #cobra kai #sam larusso #samantha larusso #and the thing is even if tory does apologize sam doesnt have to forgive her lmfao #like i know she will #and if she doesnt yall will literally call her satan incarnate #but she doesnt HAVE to #and highkey it’d be more interesting for their dynamic if sam and tory were ‘friends’ but sam made it explicitly clear that she will #never forgive tory for breaking into her house trying to kill her and repeatedly taunting her/seeking out fights #and sam also acknowledging that tory was manipulated but that doesnt make what tory did okay nor does it erase the trauma sam went through

[merge-conflict]

I've fallen deep back into my gorov brainworms and I think I've finally decided for my purposes that Goro is 5'8"/173cm and Valentine is 6'2"/188cm. Still need to go back in some older fic and adjust because originally I was imagining them both around 5'10".

It's always incredibly fun to write physicality between them, because despite always meaning to work out Val doesn't, and so has the muscle mass of a giant nerd. Goro could presumably thigh press a car. He makes an effort to let her affectionately push and pull him around, because it would be a lot more difficult for her to shove around heavy cyberware if he didn't. It's one of those little things you might miss unless you think about it- then they get a little carried away and he just easily picks her up without warning. Can't forget this man is a very dense and compact killing machine. If he's playing nice it's because he chooses to.

#valentine very quickly loses her physical fear of him after their first few meetings and never really gains it back #even if he's angry she figures if he hurts her he'd have good reason #she's not even wrong but it's a very deliberate sort of choice to write around #twin human highway flares #realizing i'm writing the broken-heart 'one night only no encores' fic i originally started writing again after a decade for #it's been a very fun experience to finally start to execute on those ideas i had two years ago #almost literally all i've been doing for the past few days

[early20sfailingplenty]

'Conventionally unattractive girl gets 'made over' by a boy and then he falls in love with her because he suddenly realises she's beautiful under the baggy clothes and scruffy hair. Plain Jane turned beauty, can he resist?' films

make me feel the

#but listen i was always the 'ugly girl' in high scholl & college #like ppl would ask me out AS A JOKE and then laugh when i said yes #and i never felt pretty etc. #not that i NEEDED to but you know what i mean #and this message that you have to be physically beautiful to be worthy of love is just so🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 #SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL BEFORE!! WITH HER CRAZY HAIR AND UNPLUCKED EYEBROWS AND UNFLATTERING CLOTHES! #SHE IS ME AND SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE!!! #LET HER LIVE HER LIFE!!! #also why is it always a boy who's gotta 'save' the girl and make her pretty? #like if she wants to be pretty can't she be pretty FOR HERSELF??? #why does it have to be for a man??? #ooooooh i'm getting angry like literal anger right now #i just hate this film plot so much #makes me wanna bite someone #also that first tag should say SCHOOL* #but i'm not going back to edit that tag so you have to live with the typo

[sandu-zidian]

Me looking for fics that center around JYL and YZY and only finding 51 tagged with their relationship tag like >:((( now I want to write about mother-daughter relationships now

#katantalks #mdzs #like i just #there's something about JYL being the disappointing daughter who could never meet up to her harsh mother's expectations #that is so wildly different than how JC disappoints his mother #because JYL is YZY's daughter. she should have been the one to inherit zidian #i need JYL to be angry more #angry that she has been relegated to such a position because she's physically weak. that she can only ever be the eldest daughter. always #taking care of her siblings #always the caretaker #they're like evelyn and joy but if joy was much more understated and soft spoken methinks

[bo0zey]

boys be mad asl when i don’t giggle n tehe n show cute emotions like bitch my wounded inner child just got done drunk sniveling begging for daddy not to yell n hate her while her intoxicated narcissistic father screamed n gaslit her until she dissociated to euthymic plane 🙄🙄🙄

#‘trauma dumping’ eat my shorts loser assholss #so funny he said if my narcissistic sociopathic insane brother killed himself then it’s ‘goodbye to the rest of y’all too’ #like ohhhhh so ur eldest daughter n youngest son don’t mean jack fuckjn shit to u right??? lmfao lolll #yeah just go rot with that selfish egotistic psycho while ur 15yr old son who lost his mom at 7yrs old #i want to strangle my fuckjgnf dad sometimes he’s so cruel n said so many mean things to me #he always has to defend my middle brother ‘he’s depressed what if he kms’ like??? #my middle brother literally manipulates tf out of my dumbass emotionally unintelligent father he’s tearing this family apart #meanwhile i never planned on seeing 18 nor living past 22 n now i have to go exist n find a job when i never thought i’d have to do this sh #shit ever b. i was supposed to #be dead 4 years ago lololllll #god forbid i tell him that or my plan to kms at 27 lollll #so worried abt a fucking LOST SOCIOPATH SEFISH NARCISSITIC CAUSE ur gonna make me and my baby brother suffer?? as orphans ?? #my dad n i used to get breakfast every sunday in middle school n talk abt life n drive around after n those days meant the world to me #i never realized how much i missed them. how much i looked forward to him saying he’d call me while i’m away at college #but my middle brother egosticizl fuck is like ‘lolyh i just nod n say what dad wants me to hear’ when my dad is trying so hard to save him f #my dad admitted to neglecting my lil bro lol it makes me so fkcing angry he doesn’t give af abt us #says ‘im worth more im the ground than i am alive’ n my inner teen bursts into tears bc she experienced that already #yeah moms life insurance money was so fun!! until it ran out bc of college n impulsive manic spending n the materialistic thrill never laste #i want to hate him but i can’t even deny i love him so much he hurts me and everyone i love and disappoints us all n we still care for him #he’s letting my brother fuckjgn kill him literlaly my dad is physically sick bc of my sociopath narcissistic bros drama #he blames me for not going to him n telling him abt my ‘’mental issues’ as if i didn’t have to grow up n become mom the day after my 16th #i am my mothers child he didn’t know anything abt our childhoods until she died and he had to step up n parent us himself #he doesn’t know what it means to be a parent he shouldn’t be a parent but oh fuckjgn well oh my god WE ARE YOUR KIDSMWE NEED YOU WH #WHY CANT YOU SHOW US YOU CARE WHEN WE ALL HAD TO LEARN ALL WE HAVE IS OURSELVES #i am so angry he tried to throw me under the bus abt not having a job as a new grad nurse instead of my brother for dropping out everything #ur son wants to drop his ap classes bc he procrastinated n doesn’t wNna do the work so now he’s manipulating u to let him quit #i am just not exiting the identity crisis coming to terms w the fact that i’m 22yrs old n alive n need to start living n working #tonight was a shitshow but the ending calmed down but i couldn’t stop crying sniveling whimpering when dad yelled #yelled n accused n attacked me n chose to defend my middle bro over me like..he’s trying to kill u n i freaked out bc stepmom said u cut #ramblings

[backhurtyy]

everything hurts so fucking bad

#i want to lay down but if i do i’m never gonna get up and i need to finish getting ready for bed 😭 #spent twelve hours building my model today. my body is so fucking angry #my back and my leg and my hand and my shoulders… god #pain. agony. suffering. #meanwhile my roommate kept coming out to tell me about how she’s done with finals and it’s so nice blah blah blah— #FUCK OFF BESTIE I AM IN PHYSICAL PAIN TRYING TO FINISH THIS STUPID FUCKING PROJECT #LIKE CONGRATS BUT FUCKING. READ THE ROOM! LEAVE ME ALONE! MY HEADPHONES ARE ON WHY ARE YOU BUGGING ME!!! #ugh anyways i’m going to bed now #they do be rambling

[be-good-to-bugs]

itd be so cool if the shitty people in my life were not shitty and were actually slightly decent

#the bin #:/ i wanna stop feeling horrible abt shit with my sister but it makes me so angry and upset ALL the time #im so fucked up abt this. how could i not be. i guess. hhhhh. i dont know what to do. it sucks so much. #its so hard to deal with the aftermath of a deeply abusive relationship in general. and when you cant talk to anyone about it or tell #anyone who knows that person. and you have to continue to be nice or at least civil with them. probably forever. #that SUUUUCKS. she is so awful. shes always been awful. i want to heal from that experience but i feel like im still stuck #probably mostly because im literally physically stuck 1000 miles away from everyone else i know in a place where shes the only person i know #but even after that i think ill still feel so stuck. theres a lot of things she has that i really need to get from her before i do anything #that might make her mad at me. i want to delete our stupid chat full of uncomfortable shit vut thats gonna piss her off #she has a lot of pictures of me from when i was younger and those are pretty much the only pictures of me from then #i can barely even remember those years. id like to get those if i can. also i wanna see if i can convince her to delete all the weird videos #she took of me without my consent while i was having psychotic episodes bc like. what the fuck. AND i know she literally just shows them #to her friends and laughs at them bc shes told me she does. which is very upsetting. and if i can get her to delete them id feek so much #better and not be upset over that all the time #i just cant get iver how much she fucking sucks. she does so much fucked up shit and its so awful. why would she ever think its ok ti record #me when im not in a good headspace. without telling me. and then upload it to her snapchat also without telling me #i only found out about her doing that originally because she decided to show me some of the funny things people said about me on the #video i didnt even know existed and had no memory of what happened. she loves to claim shes so chill and nice and good about mental #illness and she understands it so much and would never ever do anything weird and ableist like that. and then does that. #i feel so much worse abiut myslef and all the behaviors i have caused by my myriad of mental shit specifically because of her #ugh i am so not looking forward to being in a car with her for 20 hours when i move. but thats how it has to be.

[koishua]

are... are you doing okay? :(

very respectfully no but it's a work in progress ig it's hitting me harder and harder every day how every decision i ever make will influence other people's interactions with me and i wish i could take it all back :')

#anon asks #im Just angry at the world for not providing me with a teddy bear strapped around me at all times for comfort that's all #also v confused bc is this a platonic or ACTUALLY a romantic crush on my friend #bc this is so so new to me #i have never felt this viscerally before #but something about being three friends in a room and not being the one whos bed she jumped on #and who she fell asleep with #that kind of scarred me for life ngl it stung and hurt like a bitch #i know we're good friends. we hang out and we laugh and have fun and she hugs me too and kissese on the head from time to time #twice. i counted #but that night hurt me so deeply i can't explain it to you #and she's a little closer with the moon. instantly noticed when she's upset and is attached to her and always hugging her #and i know that the moon is just always naturally touchy with everyone and very openly physically affectionate #and im Not (Not bc i don't want to i just don't know how to ask or initiate) #so obv they hug more #but yeah #i sound like a lovesick puppy AND a whiny brat combined oh gosh ew #abort pls feelings abort