#snacmc lawki

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 30}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Written with @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Wow. The final chapter. Tara and I are so glad you've come along on this journey with us. We've absolutely loved writing this story for you all and we hope you've enjoyed it as well.

Nesta looked around their home.

It was decorated to perfection - at least, that had been Nesta’s goal. The theme for Nyx’s second birthday was space cowboy, which had happened when Cassian wanted a cowboy theme while Nesta wanted an outer space theme.

It had been a challenge to perfect the space cowboy theme - especially when it came to a two-year-old’s birthday party.

There were aliens with cowboy hats and paper cows on UFO balloons. In the corner of the living room, there was a horse wearing an astronaut costume - a decoration that Cassian had created, and one he was quite proud of.

Nesta herself wore a “space-like” outfit that reminded her fondly of Zenon: Girl of the 21th Century. When Cassian came down the stairs, however, it looked like he had just walked out of the Wild West.

He wore chaps over his jeans, and Nesta found her mind wandering on those chaps alone.

She hoped he kept them.

They would be useful in the future.

He also wore a plaid button down and a cowboy hat.

She thought he should keep the cowboy hat, too.

Nyx, however, looked like the cutest little mess Nesta had ever seen. His onesie looked like a spacesuit, but on his head, instead of an astronaut helmet, he wore a teeny little cowboy hat. On his feet were genuine cowboy boots.

Nesta laughed as they reached the first floor landing, and Cassian’s grin widened.

“Now introducing our two-year-old space cowboy,” Cassian said, unable to control his laughter.

Nyx’s grin was wide as he clapped. “MAMA!”

Nesta laughed, taking Nyx into her arms. Yeah, he looked ridiculous, but he also looked oh so cute. “Happy birthday, sweet boy.”

Nyx took Nesta’s face in his hands and gave her a big, sloppy kiss.

With a chuckle, Nesta said, “Thank you, that was very sweet. Now, let’s go make sure everything’s ready, yeah? Our guests will be here soon.”

“Dada,” Nyx said, pointing to Cassian. “Hi-hi.”

Cassian laughed. “Hi, bud.” He went straight for the corner and adjusted his astronaut-horse.

Nesta just shook her head and brought Nyx into the kitchen.

It smelled delicious.

Nesta had spent the entire morning cooking.

At first, she had no idea what to make for a space cowboy party, but she really felt like she nailed it. She had a taco bar, which worked for every type of party, and baked and decorated a cake that looked like Cassian’s horse in a spacesuit.

It was ridiculous.

And absolutely perfect.

Nesta looked at the clock. “We have twenty minutes, Nyx. We have to make the homemade tortillas and get out the salsas.”

“What about the alcohol?” Cassian asked, sweeping into the kitchen.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “It’s our two-year-old’s birthday.”

Cassian blinked. “So, no whiskey, just wine?”

Nesta clicked her tongue. “Check the wine cabinet.”

“Yes ma’am,” Cassian winked, tipping his hat before he left the room.

Nesta snorted, even though she found it deeply charming and handsome as hell.

Yeah, she definitely hoped he’d keep that outfit.

Nesta took the dough out of the fridge that she had rolled earlier that morning and a rolling pin. When she had countless flat, doughy circles she dropped them in the oil-filled skillet one by one. Fifteen minutes later, she had a giant stack of flour tortillas and was carrying them, alongside a tray filled with different types of homemade salsas, to the table she had set up in the living room.

There was a quick knock on the door and it cracked open before Nesta could even turn towards the door.

“Oh, my.”

She laughed at Azriel’s reaction to the house, turning to see him carrying in a stack of presents, Elain’s camera bag and Persephone’s diaper bag. “Go big or go home, right?” She chuckled.

“You decided to go big at home,” he replied, shaking his head.

Nesta wasn’t surprised to see that Azriel hadn’t dressed up, wearing his traditional all-black attire instead, but a little space princess in cowboy boots ran in right after him and she couldn’t stop the grin as she looked at Seph.

Elain was a just a few steps behind, and as she came in, she dropped a black cowboy hat atop Azriel’s head. He rolled his eyes, but said nothing as he adjusted the hat, and was off in search of Cassian.

“Okay, you’ve outdone yourself,” Elain announced, beaming as she looked around the house. “This is awesome.”

Nesta shrugged. “He only turns two once, right?”

“I’ve got the wine!” Cassian announced, pushing through the kitchen door with two bottles of wine and a glass of whiskey.

Nesta chuckled. “I thought we said wine only?”

“We did,” Cassian said, setting the bottles on the table. “For the guests.”

“Am I a guest?” Azriel muttered.

Cassian snorted and motioned to follow him into the kitchen.

In the middle of the room, Nyx and Persephone were dancing to the techno space playlist Nesta had put on.

Elain laughed, quietly. “I need to get out my camera. Anything I can help with?”

Nesta shook her head. “You’re good. Take pictures and send them all to me.”

Elain promised she would, and Cassian and Azriel came back out with their full glasses of whiskey. Nesta looked around.

Elain was right.

They had done well.

Nesta hoped the rest of the guests thought so, too.

Before they knew it, the house was full, people were laughing and eating and drinking and Nesta couldn’t help but smile from where she stood to the side watching it all.

What a difference 365 days could make. Nesta couldn’t believe it as she watched Nyx and Persephone play with Viviane, who had also come dressed up, much to Nyx’s delight. He kept stealing her hat, and she let him, donning his tiny one instead, though it didn’t fit on her head.

She couldn’t help but think of the two people who were missing though. The two people who should have been here. Her eyes drifted to the cross Cassian had made, where it sat on the mantle, it’s permanent home.

A set of strong arms wrapped around her waist and she leaned back into Cassian’s embrace.

His chin was resting on her shoulder, and he said, “Nyx is happy. We’re happy. But… It doesn’t feel right without them here.”

As always, he knew exactly what she was thinking. She gripped his arms over her abdomen and held him there, letting him know she understood.

“They’re here, though,” Cassian whispered into her ear. “They’re here and they’re watching us, watching him. They wouldn’t miss today.”

Nesta nodded and held onto him tighter. If she would have tried to say a word, the tears would have come.

Sad tears because she missed her sister and brother-in-law.

Happy tears, though, because she loved Nyx, and she loved Cassian, and she couldn’t believe how far they had come in the last year.

Clearing her throat, and wiping a tear that had snuck out, she announced, “Let’s open gifts and have some cake!”

Cassian kissed her cheek before he was on the floor, Nyx climbing on top of him, and helping the two year old open his gifts.

It only took one or two gifts before he was completely distracted by trying to play and wasn’t even paying attention as Cassian opened his gifts one by one. But they made it through the pile and Nesta carried in the astronaut horse cake, which had Nyx on his feet and chanting, “Cakecakecakecakecake!”

With Cassian’s help, Nyx blew out the big “2” candle and narrowly avoided a smash cake for the second year in a row.

“Not this year, bud,” Cassian chuckled, carrying a confused Nyx to his booster seat in the kitchen. “We’re all going to eat this one. Not just you.”

His irritation disappeared as soon as Nesta sat a piece down in front of him, but he made nearly just as big of a mess as he had the year before.

“Nesta!” Elain called, and she turned from where she was cutting more pieces in the kitchen. “Come here, I want to get a picture of you guys.”

Her eyes found Cassian’s and they softened, thinking back to the picture they’d been forced to take a year before.

“Still think you’ll burst into flames if you brush arms with me?” He asked, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Maybe,” she said, and he chuckled as she wrapped an arm around him. “But I’m not as bothered by it as I used to be.”

Cassian grinned, and Elain took a picture of their little family.

*

It was the day after Nyx’s second birthday and all three of them anxiously waited in the living room. It wasn’t that they were scared about the visit, but after last time, there was a little bit of nervousness surrounding them all.

Well, everyone but Nyx.

He was giddy as he played with all of his birthday toys.

Nesta was pacing, while Cassian watched a hockey game around the path she was wearing into the carpet.

“Come sit down, Nes,” he said, reaching for her hand. “They told us it would be this afternoon, but that could be anytime.”

“I know, I know,” she said, biting her nail. It had been a horrible habit of hers when she was younger, but now it only appeared when she was nervous

He caught her other hand in his. “Sit,” he repeated, tugging her towards. “You know what the doctor said about stress. It’s not good for—.”

A knock on the front door had Nesta bolting for it, and Nyx asked, “Hello?”

Cassian couldn’t help but chuckle as he stood and walked to him, crouching down in front of him. He smoothed Nyx’s dark hair back from his face and said, “I need you to be good today, okay? Be a good boy and daddy will take you to get ice cream after dinner.”

He nodded and repeated, “Ice cream.” Or he tried, but he couldn’t quite pronounce it.

Cassian could only grin down at him.

“You’re taking too long,” Nesta chastised, hurrying toward the door.

Cassian rolled his eyes but said nothing more as Nesta reached the door, smoothed down her non-wrinkled dress, and opened it up.

Alis Birch stood on the threshold, a folder in her hand, and, surprisingly, almost wearing a smile. “Nesta, it’s a pleasure.”

Nesta nodded, hesitantly. “Yes, you too. Come in, please.”

Alis crossed the threshold and nodded at Cassian. “Good afternoon, Mr. Nazari.” She looked at Nyx. “And glad to see you wide awake for one of my visits.”

Nyx smiled as he waved, and said, “Hi-hi.”

“Ah, he’s talking,” Alis said, going into the living room and smiling at the toddler.

“Oh, he hardly ever stops,” Cassian snorted. “Picks a new word up every day, I swear.”

“Sit,” Nesta said, sitting in the chair. “Please.”

“Thank you,” Alis said, taking her place on the couch. “I hear someone just had a second birthday.”

“Yesterday,” Nesta said, nodding. “We had a party. He had fun.”

“Good, plenty of toys and excitement, I assume?” She asked, watching as he played with a chunky, wooden puzzle made of farm animals. As if it were a gift from the gods themselves, he slid the cow into the right hole, and grinned up at Cassian. “Mooooo!”

He chuckled as he sat on the arm of Nesta’s chair. “Good job, bubba. Cows do say moo.”

He kept on grinning but went back to his puzzle.

“So,” Nesta said, clearing her throat. “What sort of questions do you have this visit?”

Alis didn’t say much, just looked around at the living room and kitchen. Cassian’s astronaut horse was still set up in the corner, as he’d insisted it was a work of art and as such, deserved to be displayed for at least a few more days. “Honestly, I don’t have many today. You two have made it very clear that Nyx is your main focus, and I can tell that he’s very happy and is thriving under your care.”

Cassian doubted she knew it, but Nesta released a breath she’d been holding and nodded. “We love him, more than anything. We— We’ll always miss Feyre and Rhys, but it’s not just about doing right by them anymore. Nyx has…” She took Cassian’s hand and continued. “He’s become our son, and we’ve become a family. And we couldn’t imagine it any other way at this point.”

Alis nodded and jotted a few notes in her binder. Nesta could have sworn a hint of a smile was on her face. “And, as far as the relationship between the two of you goes, where do we stand? It’s been a few months since we last discussed it.”

Cassian was the one to answer. “We’re engaged. We have been since Christmas, and, since Nyx’s birthday just passed, the wedding planning will start soon. And actually, we’re also—.”

“We couldn’t be happier,” Nesta said, interrupting him, holding up her left hand and showing the sparkling diamond on her ring finger. She gently squeezed his hand, and he didn’t ask, but nodded. “We couldn’t be happier and neither could Nyx.”

Alis looked from Cassian to Nesta to Nyx, and nodded. “I’m glad to hear it. I’ll put in a good report, and you have nothing to worry about. Truly, I wish you all the best.”

Nesta smiled, and it was genuine. “Thank you, Mrs. Birch. Thank you.”

“I’ll leave you all be,” Alis said, standing. She closed her binder. “If you ever need anything, please reach out.”

“We will,” Cassian said. “Thank you.”

With one last smile, she said her goodbyes and was gone.

Nesta leaned against the closed doors and sighed a loud sigh of relief. “We did it. We’re done.”

Cassian pulled her into his arms and hugged her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I never had any doubts.”

She pulled back and looked up at him. “I sure as hell did. Who knew an old woman could be so terrifying?”

He chuckled but shook his head. “What now?”

“We wait for Tarquin to reach out to us. There’s some official paperwork that will have to be signed after she submits her report and findings, but…” She looked over at Nyx who was still engrossed in his puzzles. “We’re officially a family.”

Smiling, Cassian leaned down to kiss her. “And we didn’t tell her about this one because…?”

His hand brushed over her abdomen, over the life that was growing inside.

“I’d say we’re entitled to a few secrets of our own,” she replied, smiling. “Besides, they’re more focused on ensuring Nyx is taken care of. We’ve proven that time and time again.”

They’d found out Nesta was pregnant just a few weeks before. Not even ten weeks, and for that reason, they hadn’t told anyone, not even Elain and Azriel.

“Fair enough,” he muttered and kissed her, again.

Nyx had walked up to them and was tugging on Cassian’s pant leg, begging to be picked up, which is exactly what he did.

They hugged him tight, and felt an overwhelming amount of peace.

A year of ups and downs and chaos had passed, but they had made it.

They were a family.

All four of them.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #lawki #snacmc collabs #nessian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 28}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Legit cried while editing this chapter lmao no shame......two chapters left! Both will be posted on Shelby’s blog! I hope you all have enjoyed this story as much as we did while writing it.

Warning: NSFW, 18+

Once Cassian closed up the restaurant at midnight, he didn’t call Justine, even though she had left her number on a napkin, which Cassian had found once he’d left the closet with Nesta.

Instead, he got into his truck, and drove through Velaris, pulling into a familiar driveway ten minutes later, parking beside Nesta’s little car. 

He got out, locked his doors, and hurried up the driveway.

He didn’t knock.

He let himself in, locking the front door behind him.

He kicked off his boots, then tossed his keys and wallet on the side table.

He was home.

The house was quiet, the only light on being the lamp in the corner of the living room.

He was about to make his way up the stairs, but stopped as he peeked into the kitchen and caught sight of the open sliding door that led out back.

Nesta was sitting by the pool in a lounge chair, even though it was covered as it was far too cold to swim. She wore one of Cassian’s old hoodies, and leggings, and her slippers. In one hand, she had half a glass of wine. In the other was Nyx’s baby monitor. 

She was looking up at the stars. 

He opened the door a bit more, making sure it made noise as he stepped out, so she’d know he was there.

Just as he expected her to, she jumped slightly, glancing over her shoulder to where he approached, his hands in his pockets.

“Hey.”

His words were quiet, but he didn’t want to break the silence surrounding them, the peace.

“Hi,” she breathed, standing and meeting him halfway. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be at Elain and Azriel’s or if you’d come home tonight.”

His stuff was still at Az and Elain’s, his bag with his phone charger and the things he’d grabbed on his way out the door. But he shook his head.

“There isn’t anywhere else I wanted to be tonight. Nowhere else I would rather be, but with you.”

Nesta looked up at him, the few feet between them feeling like miles. She whispered, “Cass, I’m sorry-.”

“Don’t apologize,” he replied, earnestly. He didn’t want apologies. He knew full well how sorry she was, how confused she had been, how hurt she had been from her own hand. He knew that her brain worked differently than most, that when she spiraled, she spiraled far. He didn’t want to think about all that, not now. Now, he wanted her to feel loved. He took a step toward her. “Come here.”

She didn’t need to be told twice, not now. She met him in the middle, and fell into his arms. He held her, tightly, quietly, his hands sliding down her back to her waist.

When he leaned back to look at her, she was already watching him, those gray-blue eyes full of longing and need.

Cassian leaned down and kissed her, softly, slowly. 

It was like the weeks apart never happened. She melted into that kiss, needing to feel his body against hers, to breathe him in and just be with him.

He must have felt the same way, because where his arms were wrapped around her waist, they tightened, as if he couldn’t stand any space between them. His lips were unhurried, and Nesta wondered if it’s because he thought they had all the time in the world.

She assumed he was right, they did have that time. Time to explore and learn and absolutely utterly worship each other.

His tongue separated her lips and swept across her own, and Nesta pulled back.

Cassian’s brows furrowed, afraid she was about to protest, but she simply rested her hand against his cheek and whispered, “Take me to bed, Cass.”

He nodded, and took her hand before picking up the baby monitor and going inside. Nesta set her still half-full glass of wine on the island before walking upstairs, her hand still in Cassian’s.

They didn’t speak.

There wasn’t any need to.

Everything that needed to be said in this moment they could already feel through every simple touch.

Cassian shut the door to the master bedroom behind them, and placed the baby monitor on the dresser.

He faced Nesta, and she was only just a step behind him. Her hands found his chest and her lips parted as her fingers found the zipper to his jacket and pulled it undone, pushing the jersey sleeves down his arms.

He was near trembling as her fingers brushed over his skin, on the path up to his neck. She clasped her hands behind his head, gazing up at him. Somehow, she’d never really taken the time to do so. She obviously knew how handsome he was, as anyone with eyes could see, but the light that sparkled in his eyes as he looked at her… It threatened to bring Nesta to her knees.

Her hands lowered to the hem of his shirt, gathering it up and lifting it, revealing every inch of his perfect, muscled torso. She was unable to stop herself as she trailed a finger down one of the many intricate lines of his tattoo. She relished in the sound of his breathing hitch softly as she skimmed a finger down his ribs.

Closing her eyes, Nesta leaned forward and pressed a featherlight kiss, right over his heart.

Cassian’s hands knitted into her hair, pulling her face up towards his own, and his lips found hers again. The kiss wasn’t bruising, but there was an urgency to it there hadn’t been minutes before. As if he needed to touch her, taste her, feel her, or his tentative control on himself might snap.

He pulled his hoodie up over her head and tossed it aside, gathering her up into his arms. With his forehead pressed against hers, he carried her to the bed and laid her down. After admiring her for a moment, he crawled on top of her and kissed her neck, and down her chest along the neckline of the tank top she wore.

Nesta’s fingers wove themselves into his long, tangled hair as her legs wrapped around his waist.

Each kiss that Cassian pressed against her skin was gentle, slow, deliberate, even though they still held that urgent hunger. His tongue brushed her skin and Nesta’s eyes fell closed.

The entire world was shut out, and all she knew was him, his mouth against her skin, the weight of his body against hers. 

This is what it felt like to be ready to give yourself entirely to another. 

All of her barriers were dropped, gone, and there was nothing left except the two of them. 

With hands that were far steadier than the rest of his body, he skimmed his fingers from her throat, between her breasts, and over the plane of her stomach, until her reached the black fabric of her leggings. She lifted her hips off the bed slightly, and she could tell he did his best to hide the smirk that took over his expression.

She was so ready. She needed him, that rough and hasty joining the store room weeks before only having stoked the flame of her desire for him. She was desperate for him and she didn’t care how foolish it made her look.

But he wouldn’t tease her, wouldn’t toy with her, if only because his need was as urgent as hers.

With one hand, he tugged her leggings down, surprised to find she was bare beneath, not a whisper of the lacy panties she usually wore.

Cassian’s breath must have hitched, because she whispered, “I didn’t want to assume, but I was hoping you’d come home.”

He met her eyes as he whispered, “I will always come home.”

It was a promise, one she knew that he fully intended to keep. Cassian slid Nesta’s leggings down past her ankles and spread her legs open wide, nestling himself between them. His hands swept beneath her thighs, where her ass rested on the fluffy, white comforter. Slowly, gently, his lips swept from her knee, and down her thigh, then he did the same to the other before spreading her folds with his thumbs and finding her sex with his tongue.

Nesta was breathless. 

That tingly sensation that she had been craving since she’d been with him last quickly filled the pit of her stomach. She held onto the back of his head, afraid if she didn’t that he would stop, and she didn’t want that.

The other hand clutched her pillow, next to her head.

The whimpers and little moans that spilled from her only heated his blood further, so much so that he couldn’t stop the groans that came from him. The taste, the smell, the feel of her, it was more intoxicating than any liquor, better than any high he’d ever had from any drug. 

And then she whispered his name.

His hands gripped her thighs tighter, spreading her as open as she could be for him, and he feasted. He listened to her moans, listened as her breathing quickened, and let her body guide him. He licked and nipped and sucked and felt as her core, her entire body went rigid with pleasure.

When she said his name next, it was something between a gasp and a scream and a prayer. He would never tire of it, would never get tired of the many different ways she would say his name in the heat of the moment. Every time, in every which way, it made him weak.

She spilled onto his mouth, and Cassian looked up at her, his tongue still circling her clit until her body grew relaxed, once more.

Her hand fell from the back of his head, the other letting loose the fabric of her pillowcase. 

Cassian pushed himself on his elbows as he watched her chest rise and fall, quickly, then as it slowed.

She cursed, and Cassian was climbing up her body, taking her tank top with him as he went. After slipping it over her head, he met her lips with his own. Once he cupped her breast, she was flipping him over, eyes glazed with drunken love, straddling his waist.

Cassian fell back against the pillows, his arms open wide, waiting to see how she would completely unravel him. 

She leaned down, and he closed his eyes, expecting to feel her lips against his. But instead, he felt the flutter of a kiss to his forehead. Then over his closed eyelids, and his nose. Against each of his cheeks, the corners of his lips. As if she were trying to memorize his face by her kiss alone. But she didn’t stop there.

The kisses began to trail down, over his jaw, the strong column of his throat, and she lingered at the spot where his neck and shoulder met, gently sucking and biting. Marking him, claiming him.

He’d wear that purplish bruise with pride if it meant she were his and he was hers.

Nesta’s kisses continued down his chest, pausing to worship each rippling muscle and pectoral. She lingered near his heart again and Cassian watched her as she kissed right over where it was about to beat wildly out of his chest.

Down and down and down, the slow, tortuous path of kisses trailed, until at last, her mouth halted at the smattering of hair dusting just beneath his navel. Her eyes, still glazed with her orgasm, flicked up to him and locked with his as she nimbly unlatched his belt buckle and popped the button on his jeans.

He remained quiet, his breathing shallow as he watched her intently. He noticed every touch, every movement, and drank them in. 

Nesta yanked his jeans down in short, quick movements until they were long gone. She sat up straight on her knees as he laid before her in his briefs, giving him the most glorious view of her beautiful, nude body. Cassian didn’t touch. He just looked, his arms going behind his head as Nesta pulled her hair back and tied it in a ponytail.

It was the simplest, most mundane action, but it thrilled him. So much so that without her request, removed his underwear, threw them who knew where with the rest of their clothes, and stroked his cock once.

He was already painfully hard, just from the taste of her and the sight of her body. She hadn’t even touched him yet and he was already ready for her, ready to be buried deep inside her, hearing her those wondrous moans as he brought her right to the edge. But as she lingered on her knees, watching him touch himself, her tongue peeked out to wet her lips, and he wouldn’t be opposed if she wanted to put those beautiful, rosebud lips on him.

She finally spoke, and her voice was husky in a way he’d never heard it. “I want to watch you someday.”

The words caught him off guard and his hand, where it was still fisted around the base, tightened.

Her smile widened in response, even as she lowered her body to the bed and he felt her breath fan out over the head. Her lips were so close. “I want to watch you and I want you to watch me.”

He thought back to the time he found her in the tub, had barged in on an extremely private moment, but couldn’t find it in himself to be sorry. He began to stroke himself, her eyes watching every slow, deliberate movement of his hand. “Oh, really?”

She nodded, still watching him. “Not tonight, of course. But at some point, I want to see what you do to yourself to make you lose control.”

Cassian swallowed, and asked, “And tonight?”

“Tonight, I need you inside of me,” she whispered. He could feel every burst of air that came from her lips against his sensitive skin. “After I suck you dry.” 

A string of foul curses fell from his mouth, her words alone had him nearing the edge.

Nesta put her hands over his, the one that was wrapped around his cock, and pumped once, twice, before leaning down and wrapping her lips around the head.

She twirled her tongue around it, that teasing game continuing. He knew what game she was playing at, too, knew she loved to watch him writhe beneath her touch, her lips.

Nesta gasped as Cassian grabbed her ponytail and wrapped it around his hand, yanking her head back. Her eyes were bright when they met his, as her tongue stuck out and she licked him, once more.

“Tease,” he muttered.

“Patience,” she crooned.

He slowly shook his head. “Impossible.”

She could tell then, how his whole body was trembling with restraint. He let her ponytail fall from his hand and he framed her face with both of them. She began to crawl up his body, as he sat up, meeting her half way, and his lips found hers in a searing kiss as she straddled his powerful thighs. Pulling back, he breathed, “I need to be inside you. I need to feel you, Nes.”

She couldn’t argue with that, couldn’t argue with the desperation building inside her as well.  Reaching between them, she gave him one more stroke and then another, as she lined him up at her entrance. All she would need to do was lower herself down and he would be nestled deep inside of her. But she didn’t.

Instead, she dragged that thick, sensitive head against her slit, working him into such a frenzy that he was unable to stop himself from gripping her hips and sliding her down upon him.

In one, smooth move, she was full, so gloriously full, and her head fell back as she began to rock her hips against his.

Cassian held onto her waist as his face nestled into the nook of her neck. His lips found her collarbone and sucked the tender skin as Nesta’s hips rocked back and forth. His muttered curses became muffled by her skin, and nearly drowned out by the new sounds coming from Nesta’s lips.

Cassian pulled back and he uttered her name. 

She brought her head up and ran her hands up his chest and around his neck. He kissed her, softly, as he groaned. 

“I love you,” he breathed, brushing the wisps of her hair back that had escaped from her ponytail. “I love you, Nesta.”

Nesta kissed him again, slowly and deeply. “I love you, too.”

Those words were his undoing.

He gripped Nesta’s hips and brought her up before slamming her down on top of him. The scream that tore from her lips had him ready to explode. 

He wasn’t going to last long, he knew that, the feeling of being inside of her, of her walls gripping him, working him, too much. But he could tell she was well on her way to that sweet release, to the utter ecstasy that only they could bring to the other. He captured her mouth with his and one of his hands found her breast, cupping and pinching and teasing, until she ripped her lips from his and her head fell back with a moan. Her entire body began to quiver and the sight of her coming undone, as her orgasm washed over her, was enough for Cassian to fall over the edge right behind her.

The groan that tumbled from him resembled her name, and he repeated it like a prayer as he spilled himself inside of her. 

NestaNestaNesta

She collapsed against him, utterly and completely spent, and he wrapped his arms around her as he laid back on the bed. They didn’t speak for long moments, his fingers trailing up and down her back as her breathing calmed. But finally, when she pulled back, far enough to gaze into his sparkling, hazel eyes, he saw the truth of her words in her own.

“I love you,” she breathed again. “So, so much, Cassian.”

He breathed a laugh as pure joy consumed him. “I love you, too. More than I have ever loved anyone else before. More than I could love anyone else.”

“Promise me,” she began, and kissed him, softly. “Promise me you’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he swore. “I promise.”

The smile she gave him was one he rarely saw, one no one else saw, one that he memorized every inch of and stored it away in a special place in his mind, in his heart. 

“Let’s clean up,” he said. “It’s late. We need to sleep..”

She nodded and climbed off of him before holding out her hand. Cassian took it, and followed her into the master bathroom. They climbed into the shower and washed each other off before making love, yet again, beneath the steaming water. 

As they walked back into the bedroom, a soft cry came through the baby monitor.

“So much for rest,” Cassian chuckled, slipping on a pair of sweatpants as he dried off his hair with his towel. 

Nesta took a step toward the door, but Cassian said, “Take your time. I’ve got him.”

After tossing his towel in the hamper, he was walking down the hall to the nursery. 

The teary-eyed baby was sitting up in his crib, though when he saw Cassian peek through the door, his cries quieted to whimpers. Nyx was immediately reaching for him, just as Cass was the second he was in the nursery. His pacifier had fallen out, so he picked it up as he scooped Nyx up and held him against his shoulder.

“Dada,” he said, softly, sniffling.

“Dada’s here, buddy,” he crooned, resting his cheek atop the messy mop of dark hair. “He’s right here.”

Nyx squirmed, sitting up and pointing towards the open door. “Mama.”

“You’re not one for subtly, you know that, kiddo,” he chuckled. Grabbing Nyx’s blanket, which he officially could not sleep without, Cassian carried him down the hall, into Nesta’s bedroom.

Their bedroom.

She was sitting up in the bed, already under the covers, waiting for him to return. But her eyes brightened when she saw Nyx in his arms. Still, she jokingly chastised, “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Nyx grinned, showing the teeth that had popped through over the months, and as soon as Cassian sat him down on the end of the bed, he was crawling for her.

“You’re going to be cranky tomorrow,” Nesta muttered, pulling Nyx into a hug. “Binky?”

Cassian plopped back on the bed and popped Nyx’s pacifier into his mouth. Within a matter of minutes, thanks to his pacifier and Nesta’s hand patting his back, Nyx was drifting off. 

With a quiet chuckle, Cassian scooted close to Nesta and pulled both she and Nyx into his arms. Nesta rested her head on Cassian’s shoulder as she continued to pat Nyx’s back until he was right back to sleep.

Nesta was soon behind him, her breathing evened, but Cassian couldn’t close his eyes.

He didn’t want to miss a moment of this, this beautiful, wonderful, perfect life he had somehow found himself in. 

He didn’t want to miss a second of this life.

With Nesta.

With Nyx.

With his family. 

#nessian #modern au #acotar #acosf #fanfiction #snacmc lawki

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 29}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

“It’s not very professional of us to be late to our own party.”

Cassian was sitting on the couch, even as he hollered up the stairs, knowing Nesta could hear him.

“Don’t blame me,” she called back. “I’m not the one who decided to give the toddler a candy cane while he was wearing a white shirt.”

Cassian snorted, looking at the child in question, though he knew she was using Nyx’s last minute wardrobe change as an excuse. Nyx had been downstairs with him for nearly twenty minutes, the candy cane devoured long before that. The dark green sweater he now wore made his blue eyes sparkle and he giggled up at him, grinning. She was still in their bathroom, making herself look absolutely gorgeous, no doubt, but they were short on time.

“People are going to start arriving at seven and it’s six-fifteen now,” he said, glancing at his watch.

“I know, I know, shut up!” she yelled, but even Cassian could hear the amusement in her voice.

“Dada,” Nyx said, walking toward Cassian. “Nums?”

Nums. Cassian assumed it derived from the word yum, which meant that he was hungry. With a sigh, Cassian picked Nyx up and said, “I promise, as soon as we get to the restaurant, we’ll eat. I’m hungry as shit, too.”

“Way to teach the toddler how to curse.” Nesta’s voice rang out from the top of the stairs and Cassian spun around. He whistled as Nesta made her way down the stairs in a red dress and black heels.

Her long, golden-brown hair was down and in loose curls. Her lips were painted red, and green sparkles lined her eyes.

Cassian lifted a brow. “You look festive.”

Nesta chuckled. “Thank Elain. She’s the one that told me I’d better show up looking like Christmas or she’d make me look like Christmas when she got there.”

Cassian laughed, quietly. “Well, I think you look absolutely stunning.”

Nesta smiled as she stopped in front of him. “Thank you.”

They kissed, and Nyx babbled, loudly, letting them know it was time to break it up.

“Alright, alright,” she chuckled, running a hand over his dark hair. “Let’s grab you a snack and we’ll go.”

“I want a snack,” Cassian protested, following her into the kitchen.

She was dropping a handful of goldfish crackers into a zip top bag, and looked at him over a shoulder. “I can’t tell if that was an innuendo or not.”

His eyes traveled down her body, snagging where her tight dress hugged her ample assets, but said, “For once, it wasn’t. Though if you want to sneak off to the store room later…”

Snorting, Nesta sealed the bag up and rolled her eyes. “Absolutely not.” She brushed past them, handing the baggie of crackers to Cassian as she pulled both Nyx’s and her own coats from the closet. “It is Christmas Eve though. Who knows what Santa may bring you when we get home?” She asked with a wink.

Cassian groaned. “You can’t tell me that now. We won’t be home for, like, six hours. Tease.”

“That’s what you love about me,” she muttered, helping Nyx put his coat on.

“There’s a lot of things I love about you,” Cassian promised.

Nesta rolled her eyes, but gave Cassian a kiss, anyways. “Suck up.”

Cassian grinned, and followed Nesta, carrying Nyx to the car.

It was a short drive to the restaurant, and when they arrived, it was already packed. Being Christmas Eve, the place was closed, but that didn’t mean that the place was empty. All of the employees and their families were there, along with Nesta and Cassian’s closest friends - which included Elain, Azriel, and Peresphone. Viviane was there, of course, both with Kallias and per Cassian and Nesta’s invitation. Other than that, their employees and their families filled the room. Considering Nesta had only begun with a few servers, seeing the extended family that they had built brought Cassian more joy than he could express.

Once they entered the restaurant, Nyx was instantly reaching for Viv. Cassian spotted Azriel and Kallias by the bar, and he chose to quickly join them while Nesta joined her sister and niece by the appetizers.

“Everything looks absolutely gorgeous,” Elain said, hugging Nesta, handing a grinning Seph to her.

She snorted. “I can’t even begin to take credit. I hired someone to decorate.”

Rolling her eyes, Elain said, “Well, it all smells amazing, too.”

That, Nesta could take full responsibility for, and she would. One of the large banquet tables she used for catering was stretched between two massive Christmas trees, and every festive holiday food that anyone could possibly want was piled on top. She was most proud of the beautifully decorated sugar cookies that were on every flat surface she could sit a plate on.

Looking around, she saw Nyx was already nibbling on one and she couldn’t stop her chuckle.

“You all seem to be doing well,” Elain noted.

Nesta raised a brow, looking from Seph to Elain. “Pardon?”

“You, Cass, Nyx…” Elain shrugged, with a grin. “You all seem to be doing well.”

Nesta looked over at the bar, where Nyx’s face was covered in the icing from the sugar cookie and Cassian was laughing at something that Kallias or Azriel had said. She laughed, softly. “Yeah, we are.”

Elain took Nesta’s hand, and when Nesta met her sister’s eyes, she smiled. “I’m glad.”

“No, no, no,” Nesta chastised. “We aren’t getting sappy.”

Elain gasped. “I’m not getting sappy.”

Nesta chuckled. “Yeah, okay.” She looked back over to Cassian. He was already looking at her. He smiled. She blushed, looking away.

“Honestly,” Elain began, taking Peresphone’s hand. “Tell me.”

Nesta sighed, laughing quietly. “I don’t know. Everything is going…really well. I don’t know. I… I feel like we’re a family. Cass is a great dad, and Nyx adores him. And, he calls me mama now. Which makes me feel amazing, even though I’m not sure that it should. It’s complicated, you know? I know I’m not his mom, and Cassian knows that he’s not his dad, but… We’ve filled those roles. We’ve filled those roles and we love those roles, El. But, it sucks, because...we’re not his mom and dad.”

Elain looked at Nesta for a long moment before taking her sister’s hand. “Do you love that child?”

Nesta blinked. “Of course-.”

“Does Cass love that child?”

Nesta took a deep breath. “Of course he does.”

“Then you are his parents,” Elain said, carefully. “No, it’s not biologically, and Feyre and Rhys will always be his mom and dad…but you two are their stand-ins. You’re his mom, Nes. Cass is his dad. By blood? No. But, by love? You’re what he has, and he is blessed because of it.”

Nesta told herself not to get too emotional, but she had been having a hard time with that lately. It was hard not to get too emotional when it felt like everything was going right.

Nesta didn’t believe in perfection.

But, she felt like her life - her life with Cassian and Nyx - was pretty damn close to perfection.

“I like seeing that look in your eyes,” Elain said, quietly.

Nesta snapped back to reality, raising a brow at her sister. “What look?”

“Happiness,” Elain said, simply. She nodded to Cassian. “Things are going well with him, I take it?”

Nesta leaned across the table. “Are you...asking me about what goes on in the bedroom?” She gasped. “Elain.”

“What?” She said, sipping from her wine glass. “He’s only been pining after you for nearly six years. I’d bet a man who’s been doing that would have some plans when he finally had his chance to—.”

“There’s my girl,” Azriel said, smiling as Seph saw her daddy approach and started giggling.

“I should go mingle,” Nesta said, even as Elain gave her a look that said This conversation is far from over. “You guys are still coming over for lunch tomorrow, right?”

“We wouldn’t miss it,” Azriel replied, and Elain nodded in agreement, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Nesta did as she said she would, stopping around the room to see her servers, cooks, managers, bartenders. Along the way, she met their families, their husbands and wives and significant others. Their kids and parents and siblings. Anyone they decided to bring, Nesta welcomed them with a warm smile and kind words.

Cassian did the same, although not for as long, and ended up sitting with Viviane and Kallias, bouncing Nyx on his knee. Nesta couldn’t help but look at him every so often, admiring how handsome he was, admiring how much Nyx admired him.

Just as dinner was ready to be served, Nesta stood in the middle of the restaurant and clanked her fork against her wine glass to get everyone’s attention.

“Thank you all for coming,” Nesta said, smiling as she looked around the room. “This last year has been so incredible. With the addition of our bar, we really skyrocketed, and business has been better than ever before.” A round of applause echoed through the room. “Because of that, I’ve been able to double our staff, which has been incredible. I wanted to have this little party tonight to just show you all how incredibly grateful I am for each and every one of you. So, let’s eat, drink, and celebrate until the clock strikes twelve!”

No one had any complaints about that.

The caterers brought each table a beautiful display of food and Nesta took a seat next to Cassian to enjoy it all.

Everything was delicious and all in attendance made sure Nesta knew they enjoyed every bite. It wasn’t long before the plates were cleared and desserts were brought out. Nyx managed to stay mostly clean, though that was mostly due to Viviane helping feed him, rather than Cassian leaving him to his own devices. Nesta couldn’t help but smile as she watched, especially when Kallias, eyes shining in adoration, brought her hand to his lips. Right next to the diamond sparkling on her ring finger.

He had proposed a few weeks prior, to no one’s surprise but Viviane’s and would be married just after the new year.

After years apart, they swore they knew what they had been missing in their lives, and didn’t want to waste another minute without the other.

Nesta found herself pondering that as she watched Cassian, talking and laughing with Azriel, Nyx already starting to doze off on his shoulder.

Happy. She thought back to Elain’s words. She had never been as happy, as perfectly content in her life, as she was now.

Her restaurant was thriving. She loved what she did, wouldn’t ever want to do anything else, woke up happy to go to work.

Nyx was the light of her life. Watching him grow, learning who he was going to be one day… Being his mama was the greatest gift she’d never expected.

And Cassian… She had found the love of her life, even though he’d been right in front of her the whole time. Kallias and Viv, their time apart hadn’t been intentional. Nesta’s separation from Cassian, that had all been by their own doing. And she wouldn’t let another minute slip by them. She would make sure he knew how much she loved him, for the rest of his life.

As Christmas rolled around at midnight, everyone started to go home. Nesta and Cassian would be soon behind them, considering they still had to put out gifts for Nyx to open in the morning. Nesta couldn’t wait. She knew he was still a little bit too young to understand what was going on, but she was certain his little day would be made, nonetheless.

With a yawn, Cassian came out of the kitchen, Nyx sound asleep in his arms. “Alright. Back door is locked. Trash is taken out. Kitchen is clean.”

“Good,” Nesta said, feeling tired, too. It had been a good night. A long night, but a good night. “Let’s go home and wait for Santa.”

Cassian groaned as he picked up Nyx’s diaper bag and headed for the door. “What if Santa is too tired to bring presents tonight?”

“I don’t think Santa has that option,” Nesta chuckled. “And, if Santa is lucky and does what he’s told, he might have a little surprise under the tree, too.”

Cassian raised a brow as he stepped into the chilly night. “Oh yeah? Tonight? Or, does Santa have to wait until morning, too?”

She rolled her eyes, taking the diaper bag from him and letting him carry Nyx out to the car, before locking the door. “I guess we’ll have to see.”

He winked at her before buckling the sleeping toddler into his carseat and then they were on their way. Before they knew it, they were home, and as soon as they pulled into the driveway, fat, fluffy snowflakes had begun to fall from the sky.

“Looks like you get your white Christmas after all,” Cassian crooned, knowing Nesta had been slightly disappointed it hadn’t snowed before the party tonight.

She sighed as they entered the house. “I hope so.”

Cassian took Nyx upstairs to lay him down, and though they’d joked about Cassian playing Santa all night, Nesta was the one to lay all the presents out underneath the tree. Of course, only she knew what lay in the boxes wrapped in festive paper for Cassian and Nyx, but she saw a few with her name on them.

She resisted the urge to shake each one of them and investigate.

After she pulled a large, rectangular box wrapped in sparkly paper out of the bag, she couldn’t resist the urge any longer. After looking around the living room, she gently shook the box. A throat cleared from the top of the stairs.

Nesta yelped, spinning around from where she sat on the rug in front of the tree. Cassian stood on the top stair, his arms crossed, a brow raised as he chuckled. “And what is it that you think you’re doing?”

“Just…checking things out,” Nesta said, slowly, setting the gift on top of the others as Cassian made his way down the stairs. “He asleep?”

“Drooling, snoring, the whole nine yards,” Cassian said, plopping down next to her on the rug. “We get to eat cookies and drink lots of milk, right?”

Nesta snorted. “I think he’s a little young for that part yet.”

“Damn,” Cassian whistled. “I was looking forward to it.”

Nesta laughed, crawling into Cassian’s lap. “I mean, if you want milk and cookies, by all means, get yourself some milk and cookies.”

His fingers lazily dragged up and down her back, the gesture nothing more than a soothing habit he’d picked up. “Maybe tomorrow. So I can share the cookies with the already energetic toddler.”

They sat on the couch, still in their party finery, and those fingers trailed that path on her back. Her head was tucked under his chin, and after a moment, he breathed, “I’m so excited for tomorrow. For him to wake up and see his presents.”

Nesta’s voice was a sleepy drawl when she responded. “I want him to love Christmas as much as Feyre did.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. “He will. We’ll make sure he knows what an important day it is for our family.”

Our family.

The words had become common for them, as they realized that’s exactly what they were.

A family.

*

“MamaDadaMamaDadaMamaDadaMamaDada—.”

Cassian groaned, rolling over to his nightstand, where the baby monitor sat. Nyx was going on and on and on and on, apparently ready to be taken out of his crib.

Cassian blinked, checking his phone.

It was seven in the morning.

It was Christmas.

He was tired, he wouldn’t deny it. Nesta had worn him out the night before - more than once, under the tree, and again in their bed before Cassian passed out.

It wasn’t a day for exhaustion, though. It was a day of celebration and love, which is why Cassian pulled himself up and smacked Nesta on the ass before he climbed out of bed.

“Wake up, Nes. It’s Christmas!”

He was stumbling out of their bedroom before Nesta had even opened her eyes. As he approached the nursery, Nyx’s voice grew louder and louder. The moment he pushed open the door, Nyx was grinning, holding up his arms.

“Merry Christmas, buddy,” Cassian said, chuckling as he picked Nyx up out of his crib. After a diaper change and a switch into his Christmas onesie, Cassian was carrying Nyx down the stairs, yelling for Nesta to hurry up.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she said, yawning as she swept into the hallway.

Presents were obviously pretty high on the priority list, but in the Nazari-Archeron household, only one thing came first:

Breakfast.

Cassian gave Nyx a sippy cup of milk as he turned on the coffee pot and put the cinnamon rolls Nesta had prepared before the party last night into the oven.

He was stirring two spoons of sugar into her coffee when he heard her come into the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas, my handsome, little man,” she said, pressing a kiss to Nyx’s cheek. He giggled and held onto her face, giving her a wet, smacking kiss as well. It was something new he’d picked up and something Nesta adored to no end.

“And Merry Christmas to you,” she said, smiling up at Cassian, wrapping her arms around his neck. She rose up on her toes and kissed him.

“Pretty sure you told me that already, in quite a few ways last night,” he smirked, and she rolled her eyes smacking his chest.

“Eat quick,” Nesta said, sipping from her mug. “Santa came.”

Nyx babbled something as he drank his milk. “Too impatient to see what he brought you?” Cassian asked, sitting at the table, waiting for the cinnamon rolls to be done.

“Don’t act like you’re not,” Nesta grumbled, looking out the back window, where a newly fallen blanket of snow covered the yard.

“You’re going to make us all go outside and build a snowman, aren’t you,” Cassian muttered, as the alarm for the oven went off.

Nesta chuckled, pulling them out and turning the oven off. “Of course, I am. I didn’t buy Nyx that little snowsuit for nothing.”

After a quick bite to eat around the table, they were cuddled up together in the living room, by the tree. Nyx looked up at the strung lights in wonder as Cassian took out the first gift and slid it toward him.

“Go ahead, buddy, the first one is yours,” Cassian said.

Nyx blinked at the box before starting to hit it with his little fists.

Cassian snorted. “Well, at least it’s not breakable.”

They opened Nyx’s presents for him one by one and once he was sufficiently distracted with a brand new set of brightly colored blocks, stacking them up and knocking them down, giggles filling the room, Cassian and Nesta moved onto their own presents.

There were, of course, the generic things that they both expected from each other. Cassian gave her an entire new set of utensils for the kitchen, a wine and cheese subscription box for the year and a cookbook full of desserts he’d seen her eye for more than a few months.

She gave him a set of woodcarving tools, a new pair of boots, and a year-long membership to the new, fancy gym they had just built down the block that he had been eyeing every time they drove past it.

“Thank you,” he smiled. “I love it.”

“Of course,” she said, and kissed him, softly. “Now, let’s go build a snowman!”

“Wait,” Cassian called, even though she was already on her feet, heading toward the staircase. “You forgot one.”

There was no way she could have seen it.

It was tiny, and nearly blended into the tree skirt.

Nesta knew one thing for sure - she hadn’t put that one under the tree last night.

“Nyx, come here,” Cassian said, holding out his hand.

Nyx giggled, picking up his blocks to take with him, as he walked across the rug to Cassian.

Cassian handed him the little box. “Here. Bring mama her present.”

The words alone were so cute that Nesta couldn’t help but smile. She sat on the couch as Nyx waddled up to her, his blocks in one hand, her gift in the other.

“Thank you, buddy,” she said, laughing quietly as Nyx went back to playing with his blocks. Nesta slowly undid the bow on the top of the box, and tore off the wrapping paper.

She was left with a small, black velvet box.

Her heart stopped beating in her chest. She couldn’t breathe, nearly forgot how to move, as she looked at the velvet box in her hand. Her thumb brushed over the soft fabric. “Cassian…”

“Open it, Nes,” he whispered, and she could hear the smile on his face.

She opened the box and fought the quiet gasp as she gazed at the beautiful ring inside.

A brilliant, cushion-cut diamond was nestled in the center of a ring of diamonds, and in the colorful lights of the Christmas tree, it sparkled.

She repeated herself, not quite remembering how to speak. “Cass…”

He gently took the box from her hand and slid from the couch, settling down on one knee.

“I know we haven’t had the most conventional relationship, but who we are, where we came from, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. This past year has simultaneously been the best and worst of my life. I lost my best friend, my entire world got turned upside down, but…” He took her hand in his. “I have the family I never imagined I would. I love Nyx. I can’t imagine a day without him now. Or a single minute without you, Nesta. I love you and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life reminding you of that.”

She was crying.

She didn’t know when the tears had begun, but they were streaming freely down her cheeks.

“Nesta,” he breathed, his voice a ragged mess. “Nesta, will you marry me?”

“Yes.” She had begun saying the word before he had even finished his question. “Yes, Cassian, absolutely, yes.”

Cassian was pulling her toward him, kissing her without a care in the world. She laughed as their lips met, an unworldly amount of joy flooding throughout her body. They kissed, and Nyx laughed, and Cassian slid the ring onto her finger.

His fiancée.

His future wife.

He wasn’t sure how exactly he had gotten here, wasn’t sure how either of them had survived the past year, but somehow, they had. And they’d done it together.

It was a situation that could have damned them, that could have destroyed them both. There had been hard times, but the good far outweighed the bad. Just like he knew the future would as well.

Cassian could face anything, as long as his family was at his side.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #snacmc collabs #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 21}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Before Nesta even opened her eyes, she knew that she’d gotten some of the best sleep she’d had in months. She knew it was early, since Nyx hadn’t even woken them up for his morning bottle yet. Sighing comfortably, she settled deeper into her pillows, the weight of a heavy arm slung over her waist, pulling her in close.

With sudden clarity, she remembered the events of the night before. She remembered the damn kiss that had started it all. She remembered the orgasms Cassian had given her over and over. She remembered seeing something shining in his eyes that had nothing to do with lust or sex.

She was sure it was reflected in her own, but couldn’t work up the nerve to let herself think about what they’d done last night, what it may have implied. What lines they may have crossed.

And the fact that she really didn’t give a damn.

Nesta couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy, and as much as she tried to pretend it wasn’t thanks to the man sleeping soundly behind her, in her bed, she couldn’t lie to herself.

So she gently rolled over, careful not to wake him, and took in his sleeping face.

It was kind of funny.

Nesta had known Cassian for a while, for five years, and before that in passing, considering Feyre and Rhysand’s relationship. She had watched him age, had watched him grow from a young man into the man that had taken her the night before, but looking at him now…

There was an innocence about him when he slept.

He snored, quietly, completely unaware that she was awake, that she was watching him.

He was cute.

So, so cute.

If he awoke at that very moment and saw her watching him sleep, she would have surely been mortified, but she couldn’t bring herself to care, she couldn’t look away.

Memories from the night before flashed through her mind, and it only made her that much happier. She couldn’t remember the last time she had fallen asleep in a man’s arms, but with Cassian, she had fallen asleep peacefully, nearly instantly, and slept amazingly.

There was something about Cassian that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but she knew that she liked it.

She dared to gently brush a kiss over his cheek, before carefully climbing out of bed, his heavy arm making that a much harder endeavor than she was expecting. But he slept on soundly, not even stirring as she slipped from beneath the sheets and hurried into her closet. She wasn’t embarrassed by her nakedness, not after everything that had happened last night, but she knew that if he caught her naked, they were likely to take far longer getting downstairs to start their morning.

Not that she would have minded, but she was pretty sure neglecting Nyx was not a good enough reason for sex.

No, she’d enjoy him again later, as thoroughly as he’d enjoyed her last night, if he was willing. And she had no doubt that he would be.

Tying her robe around her waist, Nesta slipped from the closet into her room, glancing to make sure Cassian was still fast asleep. His snore confirmed he was.

Her chuckle was quiet as she entered the hall, sneaking down a few doors and opening Nyx’s. He was still asleep, as well, and with a smile, Nesta cracked his door and quietly padded down the stairs.

The kitchen was still a mess, his half-smashed cake on the counter and their clothes strewn around the room. Blushing, she picked them up one by one and tossed them into the laundry room, before making Nyx a bottle and starting on some scrambled eggs for his breakfast.

She could hardly focus. She was constantly thinking about the man upstairs, still sleeping soundly in her bed. Mixing a little cheese into the eggs, she stirred the eggs up in the pan before dumping them directly onto Nyx’s high chair tray.

Last time they’d slept together, Cassian had made her breakfast and then they’d both agreed it would never happen again. Regardless of the fact that it very much had happened again, Nesta didn’t like the sinking feeling she felt in her heart when she thought about having to agree to that once more.

Staring at the ingredients she’d pulled out of the fridge, Nesta sighed and braced her hands on the counter in front of her.

She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that she had feelings for Cassian anymore. At some point, he’d gone from being a pain in her ass to the favorite part of her day. And that terrified her.

Letting him continue to sleep, she crept upstairs and gently woke Nyx up before he could start screaming, and carried him down to the kitchen, his sleepy head resting on her shoulder. He rubbed his eyes as she put him in his high chair, handing him the bottle, and she started working on their breakfast.

The entire time he ate, Nyx watched Nesta curiously, as if he knew something was up.

Maybe it was just her paranoia. Then again, he was Feyre and Rhysand’s kid and they were always snooping into Cassian and Nesta’s business.

Feyre and Rhysand.

Nesta bet they were pretty damn proud of themselves at the moment.

She heard him moving around upstairs and her heart began to beat a little bit faster. This was it, the moment of truth.

She cursed, all the while Nyx kept watching her as he stuffed his mouth with scrambled eggs.

Making herself busy at the stove, she quickly dropped some bacon into the hot skillet, sizzling filling the kitchen. Within seconds, a few pieces of bread were in the toaster, and she was rummaging through the refrigerator for the blackberry jam she knew he preferred.

Nyx’s babbling announced his arrival, and she turned to find Cassian standing behind his high chair, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips. He picked up a small clump of eggs and popped it into his mouth, and Nyx angrily began talking at him, though the made up words were unintelligible.

“He doesn’t like to share,” she said, closing the fridge door with a hip.

Cassian grinned. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. I worked up an appetite last night.”

Nesta’s cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. “Is that so?”

Cassian nodded and walked toward her, slowly. Nesta remained still until he was standing just in front of her. “I have to confess that I was hoping you’d be there when I woke up this morning.”

Nesta stepped closer to him. “Breakfast and the baby called.”

Cassian scoffed and muttered, “Priorities.”

Nesta laughed quietly, but the sound was muffled by Cassian’s lips against hers.

It was almost instinct to lean into him, to smile against his lips. When she pulled back just a hair, his hazel eyes were bright. She whispered, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he breathed, his mouth still so close to hers.

She blushed, even though she couldn’t figure out why and turned to the stove. “I…wasn’t sure what to expect this morning.”

Cassian hesitated. “What did you think I’d do?”

Nesta sighed, scratching her head. “I don’t know. I thought you might act like it never happened. Or, you’d say it was only a one time thing like last time.”

Cassian cocked his head to the side. “Last time I didn’t sleep in your bed.”

“And that changes things?” Nesta asked, quietly.

“Last night changed things,” Cassian replied, brushing her hair back out of her face. “At least, for me it did.”

“Me too,” Nesta replied, without any hesitation.

Cassian’s eyes softened. “Nesta, I-.”

“NANANANANANANANA!”

They both spun around, where Nyx was watching them with the most precious of pissed off expressions. His tray was empty, practically licked clean, and Nyx was not having it.

Cassian chuckled as he took a banana out of the fruit basket and peeled it before cutting it up into slices. “He’s awfully full of it this morning, isn’t he?”

“I think he knows,” she said, rolling her eyes as she flipped the bacon. “Not specifically what happened, but he knows something is…different between us.”

He paused his cutting and turned back to her, pausing with a hip resting on the counter. “Good different or bad different?”

“Good different,” she said, smiling. She cracked a few eggs into a bowl and mixed them up with some milk. “Definitely good different.”

For a moment, Cassian didn’t say anything, but when she turned he was grinning. “Really good different?”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” She turned back around. “But yes.”

“Good,” he breathed, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “What’ve you got going on today?”

“Work,” she said. “Seeing how the bar renovation is going. Looks like you’ll have to hire your replacement soon with how quickly everything is moving.”

Cassian groaned. “That’s the part I’m looking towards the least. I hate interviews. I hate being in them, I hate giving them, they’re awful.”

“But the sooner you give them, the sooner you leave that bar and come work at mine,” she crooned.

“Yours?” he repeated, offended.

Nesta snorted. “Ours.”

He and Kallias had both given their notice to the owner of the dive bar they worked in. He wasn’t thrilled, but he had always been a gruff bastard. He’d informed Cassian he wasn’t going anywhere until he’d hired not only his replacement, but Kal’s, as well.

“Speaking of,” he sighed, glancing at the clock. “I’ve got one scheduled for eleven-thirty. What time are you going to the restaurant?”

She poured the egg mixture into the skillet she’d cooked the crispy bacon in moments before and began laying the bacon on the toast she’d made. “Whenever,” she shrugged. “Helion is opening today. What time can Viviane be here?”

“Ten. I’m not working a shift today, so after the interview I can either come back here and give her the rest of the day off, or I can come to the restaurant.”

Nesta chewed slowly as she thought about it. “I wouldn’t mind if you came to the restaurant.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do,” Cassian said, placing the cut-up banana in front of a cranky Nyx. “And you, little man, better be good for Viv today. Because you’re grumpy.”

In response, Nyx spit out the piece of banana he had put in his mouth and smushed up the rest on his tray.

After scarfing down the breakfast that Nesta had made, and making a show of thanking her for it, Cassian was cleaning up the kitchen then hurrying upstairs to shower. Nesta was left cleaning up a fussy, banana-covered Nyx.

“I don’t even think you wanted to eat the banana, kiddo,” she muttered, cleaning off his tray, before wiping him down with an ungodly amount of baby wipes. “I think it was just to play in.”

He had plenty to say about that, just nothing Nesta could understand.

A few minutes later, freshly showered and dressed Cassian came downstairs, where Nyx was playing on the living room floor. She was up the stairs a minute later, hurrying to take her own shower. After an hour, she returned, purse and keys in hand. “I’m going to go ahead and head to the restaurant. I’ll see you in a little while?”

He nodded and as she made for the door, Cassian stood, catching her by the elbow and tugging her back to him. She stumbled a step, but he crushed her to his chest and pressed a kiss to her lips. When he pulled back, they were both grinning like fools. “I’ll see you in a little while,” he repeated.

“Okay.” She was backing towards the door, that smile looking like it was a permanent fixture on her face, before slipping out and leaving he and Nyx alone.

Who was watching him again, looking so much like Rhysand with that little eyebrow raised.

Cassian couldn’t help but snort and say, “This is your fault you know.”

A few hours later, right after Nyx had gone down for his mid- morning nap, Cassian heard a knock on the front door. Opening the door, Viviane rushed in. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said, shaking her head.

Cass glanced at the clock on the mantle. “It’s barely ten-fifteen,” he chuckled. “No big deal, you’re fine.”

She nodded. “Sorry, just— It’s been a crazy morning.”

“Everything okay?” Cassian asked. Viv was usually steady, so sure of everything she did or said.

“Yeah,” she replied, waving off his question. “I’m fine. Ran into my ex at the coffee shop and— Ugh, ignore me. Don’t worry about it. Is Nyx down for his nap?”

“Yeah, he’s been out for about fifteen minutes. He had a pretty big breakfast, so I doubt he’ll be too hungry when he wakes up.” Cassian gnawed on his lip for a second debating on whether he should ask what was on his mind. After considering how well throwing caution to this wind has worked for him last night, he decided why the hell not. “Does that mean you’re single? Since you bumped into your ex?”

Viviane froze and blinked. “Yes, but I don’t date my employers—”

“No, no,” he quickly said, holding his hands out in placation. “It’s not me. It’s a friend of mine and I think you two might hit it off.”

Viviane raised a brow. “A friend, huh?”

“Guy I’ve worked with for years,” Cassian went on. “Great guy, in fact. You’ll enjoy yourself, guaranteed.”

“Guaranteed?” Viviane chuckled. “Well, I can’t say no to that, can I?”

Cassian grinned. “No, you can’t, and neither can he. Tomorrow night, you free?”

“I suppose I am, if my boss is giving me the night off,” she laughed.

“He is, and it’ll be great, we’ll all go out,” Cassian said. “You and Kal, and me and Nesta.”

“Kal,” she said, the shortened name rolling off her tongue. “Yeah, alright. That sounds fun.”

“Perfect,” Cassian said, patting her on the shoulder as he swept past her. “I’ve got to get going, but we should be home around five or so. Call if you need anything.”

Viviane chuckled. “You say that every time, and have I ever called?”

“It’s a habit!” he called, as he hurried out the door.

When he got to the bar, Kallias had everything under control, which meant Cassian was taking a table in the far corner, waiting for his interviewee to arrive.

Sadly, this wasn’t the interview to replace his own job. That was proving to be far more tedious than he was expecting. But an hour later, after shaking the young man’s hand, Cassian let out a sigh of relief as he left.

“And how’d that go?” Kallias asked, wiping down a few glasses that were drying atop the bar.

“Well, your position is officially filled,” he replied, sitting across from him at the bar. “So congratulations.”

“Cheers,” he chuckled, raising the empty glass towards Cassian. “When are we celebrating?”

“Tomorrow night, actually,” Cassian said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kal snorted. “Seriously? I was kidding.”

“I’m not,” Cassian replied, shrugging. “We’re going out tomorrow night. You, me, Nesta, and Viviane.”

Kallias blinked. “The hot nanny?”

Cassian grinned. “Yeah.”

Kallias looked at Cassian suspiciously. “I thought you were kidding when you said you were setting us up.”

“Oh, I never kid about love,” Cassian said, winking.

Kallias raised a brow. “Love? Who the hell are you?”

Cassian filled his glass and took a gulp of beer. “Just meet us at Rita’s at eight tomorrow.”

Kallilas continued to stare at him for a long while. “You slept with her again, didn’t you?”

Cassian’s grin widened. “Tomorrow. Rita’s. Eight.”

And with that, he chugged his beer and left.

*

The next night, Cassian and Nesta dropped Nyx off at Elain’s before making their way to Rita’s.

“Our first date,” Cassian crooned, reaching his hand across the car to Nesta’s.

She took it fondly. “Our first date? After all we’ve been through, do we even qualify for a first date?”

“Why?” Cassian scoffed. “Just because we’ve been sleeping together and living with each other and raising a kid together?” He snorted. “Of course, we deserve a first date.”

Nesta rolled her eyes but did not protest.

Cassian had slept in her bed last night after another night of lovemaking. Even though it didn’t seem possible, it got better with each time. The more they got to know each other’s bodies, the more familiar with one another they became, the more they became one in intimacy, the more amazing it was.

“You look amazing tonight,” Cassian said, quietly. “In case I haven’t told you that yet tonight.”

He had.

Multiple times.

But, Nesta couldn’t blame him. She did look amazing in her navy blue dress and her blush heels. She looked over at Cassian, in his jeans and button down shirt.

Coincidentally, it wasn’t much different than what he had worn on their actual first date five years before. She chuckled, and he looked over at her, brow raised.

“This is actually our second date,” she said.

Cassian shook his head, amused, before looking back out the window as he turned into the parking lot. “Well, hopefully this date goes better than that one did.”

Nesta agreed.

As soon as Cassian opened Nesta’s door, they spotted Viviane pulling into the parking lot. They knew she was a pretty girl, but she usually showed up to work with a ponytail, jeans, and a t-shirt. Now, she had really dressed to impress.

Cassian whistled as she got out of her car and Vivane blushed as Nesta’ jabbed him in the ribs.

“You look beautiful,” Nesta told Vivane.

“Thanks,” she said, and Nesta could tell the nanny was a little nervous, a little uncomfortable.

“I see Kal’s truck,” Cassian said, gesturing for the women to follow. “I guess he’s already inside.”

Indeed he was and he’d already gotten a table for the four of them and was working on a pitcher of a beer.

“Hey, man,” Cassian greeted him as Kallias stood and shook his hand. “This is Nesta,” he said, placing a hand on her back.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said, reaching for his hand as well. They shook hands and Kallias smiled.

“You, too,” he replied. “I guess I should call you boss now, huh?”

“No, no, no,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Please don’t.”

“And this,” Cassian interrupted, rolling his eyes at the two of them, “is Viviane.”

As if he somehow hadn’t noticed the blond beauty behind Cassian until this moment, Kallias looked up at her and blinked. He was about to make some sort of hot nanny joke when Kallias breathed, “Viv?”

She was looking at him with the same dumbfounded look Kallias had on his face. “Kallias… Hey.”

Cassian and Nesta looked between the two, then at each other, and after a moment, Nesta asked, “You two know each other?”

Kallias still looked like he was trying to figure out what planet he was on, so Viviane answered, “We were…childhood friends. But my family moved to Velaris when I started middle school.” She shook her head, but she had been looking at Kallias the whole time. “I had no idea you were in Velaris.”

He finally remembered to speak, though Cassian was beginning to wonder if he’d need to answer for him. “I came out here for college. Loved the city and decided to stay.”

“College?” Viviane repeated. “You’re telling me that you’ve been here since your freshman year, and you’ve never called?”

Kallias chuckled. “I didn’t even know you still lived here!”

“Hmm,” Viviane said, taking a seat across from him. “Well, what a small world, hmm?”

“Yeah,” Kallias repeated, “small world.”

Cassian took a seat by Kallias and Nesta sat across from them as they went a little bit more in depth into their long lost friendship. Apparently they had grown up in the same neighborhood and had always gone to the same elementary school. Kallias was a year older than Viviane, but when he went into the seventh grade and Viviane was going into sixth, her family moved to Velaris for her father’s work.

They had never talked again after that. Their friendship was nothing more than a simple, joyful memory.

Seeing them now, Nesta thought, she just knew the two of them had gotten into trouble when they were little. Between their jokes and sly looks at one another, and the obvious chemistry, they had surely been up to no good and gave both sets of parents a run for their money.

“I’m going to the bar,” Cassian announced, looking at Nesta. “Care to join?”

Nesta had a feeling that it was less about going to the bar and more about giving the newfound couple beside them a few minutes alone. She nodded, and took his hand as they walked toward the bar on the other side of the room.

“They’re cute together,” Nesta said, sitting on a barstool.

Cassian sat on the one next to her. “Oh, I know. You know, I’ve gotta say, I feel pretty damn accomplished right now. I definitely made this happen.”

Nesta couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him, even as she leaned into his embrace. She wanted nothing more than to poke fun at him, to mess with him about his unexpected matchmaking skills, but as she looked at the two happy people laughing at the table across the bar, she couldn’t help but wonder if that’s the gift that Rhysand and Feyre had tried to give them all those years ago.

Even now, Nesta’s chest tightened as she smiled, so thankful for her meddling, baby sister.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #lawki #snacmc collabs #snelbz tacmc collab #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 24}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Sorry for the late post! My baby shower was today, so Tara and I have been extremely busy! Look for Chapter 25 on her blog on Monday!

Warning: 18+ content.

Cassian got to the restaurant and took a look around. There were people everywhere, bustling about, getting ready for the night’s grand opening.

It had become the talk of the town - and the local groups on the internet - so they were expecting a good turnout.

At least, that’s what Cassian’s guess was.

He hadn’t talked to Nesta since he stormed out two days before, with the exception of one text exchange.

Cassian had texted, Tell Nyx I love him and I will see him tomorrow.

Nesta had replied, Ok.

Now, he was searching for that tiny little man with a mop of dark, black hair.

When he finally found Nyx, he was in his stroller eating cheeto puffs off the tray. When he saw Cassian his eyes lit up and he was instantly reaching for him.

Cassian laughed as he unbuckled him from his stroller and picked him up, giving him the biggest hugs. “Hey, buddy. I missed you, too.”

“This is his third helping of cheetos,” Helion said, from where he leaned against the wall. “Sorry about the next diaper.”

Cassian chuckled. “All this going on and Nesta stuck you on baby duty?”

Even saying her name out loud hurt, but he didn’t let it show.

He gestured toward the kitchen and said, “She’s been here since six and she’s in one of her moods. I decided I’d rather be on baby duty than caught in the crossfire.”

He winced, figuring that didn’t bode well for the two of them today. “I’ll stay in the bar, then.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Helion replied, looking him up and down, before pushing the stroller behind the counter. Cassian had the distinct feeling he was looking for a crack in his armor. He didn’t bother telling him that he’d been broken for two days, and the only person who could fix him was currently yelling at some poor employee in the kitchen.

Cass crossed the threshold into the bar area and let out a low whistle. He’d had a hand in the design, but most of this was all Nesta. It accented the restaurant perfectly and he immediately loved the place.

“Nice, right?”

He turned to find Kallias carrying a tray of fresh glasses from the dish area and the smile on his friend’s face was infectious.

Cassian nodded as Kallias said hello to Nyx. “Yeah, it looks amazing.”

Kallias nodded. “You and Nesta did good.”

“Thanks,” Cassian muttered, not wanting the conversation to go any further. “How long have you been here?”

“Just got here,” Kallias said, as Nyx started playing with the strings on Cassian’s hoodie. “Viv will be here soon to help out. She said she can watch Nyx while we work.”

Cassian nodded. “That would be great.”

It would be helpful, of course, to have Viviane help out watching Nyx. Cassian had a ton to get done in the next six hours before the opening began. He didn’t want to let Nyx go, though. Two days. It was the longest he had been away from Nyx since...everything happened.

“Well, little man, until then, you get to help me unpack liquor bottles,” Cassian said, trying his best to sound excited.

Nyx giggled. “Ba ba ba ba ba ba.”

“Yeah, different kind of bottles,” Cassian chuckled, and carried Nyx with him into the back room.

Kallias had been at the bar for the past two days, getting most of the stock ready to go. A few texts to explain the situation was all he’d needed and Cassian was thankful he had such a loyal friend and coworker.

Elain hadn’t been as understanding the first night he’d been there, but after talking to Nesta, even she backed off. He had no clue what Nesta had said to her, but her frustration turned to sympathy and she was back to treating Cassian like the brother-in-law she loved and not like a man who’d hurt her sister.

After pulling the carrier out of Nyx’s stroller, he strapped the baby to his chest and set to work, carrying case after case of liquor up to the bar. Kallias was busy stocking the assorted glasses they’d need, so the two worked in silence for the most part.

He had just walked back into the store room, short one case of whiskey, when he heard Nesta talking from the dry pantry separating the store room and kitchen. Cassian’s heart lurched and he was about to make his way back into the bar, but Nyx squealed as he heard her voice.

The swinging door flew open as Nesta hurried into the store room, wondering how Nyx had gotten in there in the first place. She froze when she found Cassian there. Their eyes locked and she blinked.

“Hey, Nes,” he said, quietly.

“I…didn’t know you were here,” she breathed.

He shrugged, turning back to the boxes of bottles. “Got here about an hour ago. Didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Nyx was reaching for her, so he unclipped the carrier and gave him to her. He giggled happily as soon as he was in Nesta’s arms, but she froze, unsure of what to say. “You should have let me know you were here.”

Another shrug. “You were busy, and I knew what I needed to do. Kal said Viv would be here later to watch him.”

She nodded, silence filling the space again.

Nyx pointed at Cassian, reaching for him. “Dada.”

Cassian stilled.

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed his mouth.

A second passed.

Then, at last, he said, “What did he just say?”

“Dada,” Nyx repeated, and clapped his hands together. He reached for Cassian. “Dada!”

Cassian took Nyx, although he was moving slowly, stunned into silence. Nesta watched as a thousand different emotions crossed his face.

“Dada?” Cassian breathed, looking from Nyx to Nesta. “He just called me-.”

“He’s been saying it for the past two days,” Nesta said, staring at a spot on the wall behind Cassian.

For a moment, Cassian didn’t say anything, but then he asked, “You didn’t bother to tell me that?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed and she slowly met his gaze. “You left.”

“A simple text letting me know that Nyx said his first word wouldn’t’ve killed you,” Cassian snapped. “Especially since his first word was…” Cassian shook his head, that fury fading as quickly as it had come. He looked at Nyx and chuckled, softly. “Dada, hmm?”

“Dada,” Nyx said, taking Cassian’s face into his hands before patting his stubbled cheeks with his chubby little palms.

Cassian watched Nyx for a moment, chuckling softly, before asking Nesta, “Has he said anything else?”

Nesta shook her head, even though Cassian wasn’t looking at her. “Just that. Probably wondering where you were. He’s been saying it nonstop, after all.”

“I’m sorry, bud,” he said, softly. He kissed the top of his head. “I’m still right here though.”

He was about to buckle him back into the carrier when Nesta reached for him. “I can take him. You’ve got a lot to do.”

“No more than you,” he said, settling him back into the carrier. “And I’ve missed him. Viv will come see Kallias when she gets here. Let me keep him.”

Her hands fell to her sides. “Fine.”

The tiny room felt like it was closing in on him, looking at her. They were so close together, whether they wanted to be or not. Without another word, Cassian grabbed the closest box and shouldered his way back through the swinging door.

Kallias caught the look on his face as soon as he came back. “That must have been the first conversation you two have had.”

Cassian grunted in response, letting Nyx continue to pat at his face.

“And how’d it go?” He asked, leaning against the bar.

“About as well as you think.”

Kallias watched his old friend for a moment before nodding, deciding to let the conversation drop. Cassian was grateful for it.

He was thankful for Nyx, too, for an endless amount of reasons, but right now, he was a distraction. With Nyx here, he was only thinking about Nyx, not about Nesta.

Cassian spent the next couple of hours lining up liquor bottles, and when Viv got there, she happily took Nyx and let Cassian work.

Once Nyx began playing with Viviane, Cassian’s thoughts were once again on the last person he wanted to be thinking about.

He continued to work, trying his best to keep his mind on that. It was kind of hard, though, when the owner of the restaurant was Nesta. He guessed he was part owner now, too - owner of the bar, anyway.

The hours flew by and by the time Cassian decided to check his watch, he realized he only had thirty minutes until the doors were opening for the main event.

He needed to get out of his old hoodie and into something nicer.

After making his way into the stockroom, he pulled off his hoodie before digging into his backpack for the black henley he’d brought. It wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was sure better than his ripped hoodie.

The door swung open as he was pulling his shirt over his head, and when he turned around, he saw Nesta, once again.

She stilled just in front of the door. “Are you planning on being in here every time I come in?”

It was meant to be a joke, something to lighten the mood, Cassian knew, but the light didn’t exactly reach her eyes.

He looked down at his shirt. “Just had to change. Didn’t think a hoodie was appropriate for an opening celebration.”

Nesta nodded, giving him a forced smile. “Couldn’t have gone all out with a button down?”

“This is Azriel’s,” he said. “All of my nicer things are at…home.”

He said the last word hesitantly.

Nesta’s eyes fluttered shut. He knew she was dying to say something, but what it was he couldn’t tell. He thought he knew her well enough to read her face. It seemed he was wrong though.

“I’ll come by and get my things on my day off this week,” he said, saving her the request. He pulled the Henley over his head, leaving his backpack against the store room wall. “You won’t even know I was there.”

“Cassian…”

He pushed back through the door without waiting to hear what she was going to say.

This was agony. Every moment of being around her hurt, because every time he saw her, he knew that he’d wasted the past three months of his life. He’d wasted his time falling in love with her, because she still hadn’t said it back.

“Dada!”

Nyx and Viv sat at one of the new tables, Nyx munching on some crackers, and even Kallias’ eyes dragged to him. Nyx’s blue eyes were the only ones he cared about though.

“That’s new,” Kallias said, from where he leaned across the bar.

Nyx’s new favorite word was one of the few things that had made him smile all day. Even if it tore him apart at the same time.

He didn’t mind Nyx calling him that. He was still too young to understand what had happened to Rhys. So one day, he’d explain to him who he really was, and who Rhys was. But until then, he was content to be Dada.

Cassian lifted him out of the high chair he was in and smiled, wistfully. “Hey, buddy.”

On the other side of the room, Nesta pushed through the double doors and into the restaurant, making sure everything was in order as the clock ticked down.

Cassian couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

He wondered if she knew.

*

This was the biggest night that Nesta had in quite some time. A new bar would be amazing for business, and she was expecting a hell of a crowd.

And she wasn’t disappointed.

At exactly six, people began to pour in. They sat, and they ate, and by the Mother, they drank. She was amazed at how well Nyx was doing. She kept expecting to see him sleeping in a corner with Viviane, but he was being passed around to Viv, Kallias, Helion, and Cassian, having the time of his little life.

Nesta was glad someone was enjoying their night.

She should be enjoying her night, should be pumped at the booming business, but she could hardly focus.

All she could think about was him.

Cassian.

Every time she even got a glimpse of him, she wanted to run into his arms and tell him that she loved him. But she couldn’t do that. She had no clue what the repercussions of their relationship would do to Nyx, especially if something were to happen. If they were to break up, would this be their future? Barely speaking, passing the kid back and forth, both of them in misery?

Even when Elain and Azriel got there, both giving her hugs and warm smiles, the one on her face wasn’t real. She knew Elain could tell, knew she wanted to pull her aside, get the whole story, and quite possibly talk some sense into her, but she wouldn’t.

She couldn’t.

Not tonight.

As much as she tried to spend most of her time in the dining room, greeting guests and asking how they liked the drinks and new menu items, she kept ending up in the kitchen.

She got word that there had been a small grease fire on the line and she was about to rush into the kitchen when Helion stepped in front of her.

“Take a breath.”

“I can’t,” she replied, pulling her hair back off of her face. “There was a fire and-.”

“And it’s under control,” he said, gripping her by the shoulders. “It’s been put out, and I can go deal with Emrys and Luca and any potential fallout. Go have a drink, relax with your sister. You deserve a glass of wine and a moment to sit down.”

Nesta hesitated, but Helion wasn’t having it.

“Go,” he said. “Kallias is currently manning the bar. Go order a drink before the next wave of people come along.”

With a huff, Nesta nodded and exited the kitchen. True to Helion’s word, it was Kallias that was behind the bar. The second he saw Nesta coming, he was pouring a glass of wine.

She took a sip as soon as she reached the counter. “Vodka.”

Kallias blinked, then obliged her. He poured her a shot, Nesta downed it and thanked him, then took her glass of wine around the room to greet people. She eventually found Elain and Azriel, and was getting ready to take a seat by them, until she noticed Cassian already sitting with them, Nyx in his lap.

Bypassing their table, she gave them both an apologetic smile, before redirecting herself towards the bar. She breezed past it and Kallias, draining her wine and leaving it by the sink, before she entered the store room.

Cassian must have handed the baby off to Elain or Viviane, because not even a few seconds later, he was right behind her.

“Is this how it’s gonna be, Nes?” He asked, not stopping until he was right in front of her. “Are we just going to avoid each other, unless Nyx is concerned?”

The door hadn’t even finished swinging shut, but she noticed Kallias stacking a few boxes in front of the door.

For all intents and purposes, do not enter.

Their first night working together and already a fight. She couldn’t blame his frustration, this was all her fault.

“It hurts to see you,” she breathed. “It hurts to see you because I don’t know what the hell is going on.”

“You don’t know what the hell is going on?” He asked, incredulously. “I don’t know what the hell is going on! You’re so-.” His words fell away and his eyes shut as he rubbed his temples.

Nesta arched a brow. “I’m so what?”

“Infuriating,” he said, and met her eyes with a pained expression that knocked the breath out of Nesta. “It hurts for you to see me? It kills me to see you, but you know what? That’s on you. I wasn’t the one that started questioning everything. And you want to know what’s ironic? You’re pushing me away because you’re afraid it won’t work out. But, it’s not working now, Nesta. In pushing me away, you made what you’re worried about a reality.” He shook his head, slowly. “What the hell is the point of that?”

Nesta didn’t say anything. Her jaw locked and she refused to break his gaze, no matter how much it tortured her.

“It’s better for it to happen now rather than later,” she said, and hated herself for it the second the words left her. “It’s better for it to end before it really begins.”

Cassian chuckled, humorlessly, and shook his head. “That's bullshit and you know it. It already began, Nesta.”

He took a step toward her, and in such a small room, it left very little space between them.

Nestas breath hitched, and judging by the way Cassian’s eyes flared, he definitely noticed.

“Tell me you don’t care about me, and it’s done. We’ll pretend these past few weeks never happened, and we can move on,” he whispered, and she could feel his breath fan over her face. “Tell me this all meant nothing to you, and it’s over.”

Her eyes flashed down to his lips before meeting his own. “I can’t do that.”

Cassian wasn’t sure who moved first. If he grabbed her face or if she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, but before he knew what was happening, he had her back pressed against the store room wall. Gods, it had only been a few days, but kissing her again, the feel of her lips on his, it felt like he hadn’t been able to breathe.

Her hands were clawing at his back and he found her thighs, lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He hadn’t even noticed she’d changed into a loose, sundress but thanks to her own wardrobe change, there was very little fabric between them as she let go of him to fumble with his belt buckle and jeans.

There were no words necessary, not when they both needed the other as badly as they did.

Their lips never broke, that contact remained, hungrily, needily, as Nesta pulled Cassian’s cock out and, moving the thin scrap of fabric beneath her dress aside, he pushed himself up into her.

Nesta moaned into his mouth at the feeling of him filling her. He bit her lip, and that moan deepened as he began to thrust deep inside of her, over and over again.

There was no foreplay.

Foreplay wasn’t necessary, not this time.

Two days, two nights, had been far too long when they had become so accustomed to this same ritual every night, time and time again.

Cassian’s head fell back as he fucked her, relentlessly, then he met her lustful gaze. His forehead fell against hers as he slowed his pace. With a soft, reverent curse, Cassian breathed her name.

She clung to him, the smell and taste and feel of him making her feel far more drunk than the wine or liquor had. Nesta buried her face in his neck, trying to cover the sounds tumbling from her.

He captured her lips again, knowing her body better than his own at this point, and thrust into her as hard as he could.

The bottles on the shelves rattled gently, but he didn’t care if anyone could hear them in the bar. He didn’t care if anyone caught them. All he cared about was that he was deep inside of her, listening to the quiet whimpers and moans that she couldn’t stop.

There was no way she could walk away from this.

Not just from the sex. Which, yeah, was incredible, but there was more to it than that.

Their souls were connected, which is what made the sex so mindblowingly phenomonal.

It was more than just sex.

It was something that Cassian swore no one else had ever witnessed before. Or, maybe they had. Maybe this is what it felt like when you found the person you were meant to spend forever with.

No, Nesta couldn’t walk away from this.

He swore, hoped, prayed she couldn’t.

He wanted to say those little words. Wanted to tell her, so desperately, that he loved her, but he didn’t.

He just kept saying her name over and over and over again with every thrust of his hips.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Nesta,” he breathed, and she cried out as her legs began to shake around him. He cursed, his fingers digging into her thighs as his body flooded with the need to explode.

As soon as her release slammed into her, he met his own, her name a groan as he spilled into her. They stayed like that for a moment, him still buried inside her, even as his seed started to drip down her legs. Thankfully, the sound of the party out front had covered any and all noises they’d made. Her breathing was still uneven as he pulled out, and he pulled that ripped hoodie from his backpack and silently used it to clean her up.

Tossing it back towards his bag, not caring if it made it inside or not, he paused in front of her, and tried to tilt her face up to his.

She refused.

He breathed, “Look at me, Nes…”

She shook her head, and damn him if those weren’t tears starting to spill down her cheeks.

He gripped her chin, forcing her eyes up to meet his. “Damn it, Nesta, talk to me. Just talk to me and tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I think you need to go,” she breathed.

He hesitated. “What?”

“You need to go,” she repeated, but there was no bite in her voice.

Cassian took her face in his hands and brought her eyes to his. “I’m not leaving. Not after that.”

“Go,” she repeated, and another tear slid free. “Go, Cass, please.”

He shook his head, fury, frustration, utter misery filling his core. He dropped his hand and stepped back. “Damn it, Nesta! What do you want?!”

“For you to leave,” she hissed.

“You’re a fucking liar,” Cassian snapped. “You say you can’t tell me that you never cared, you fuck me in a damned store room, then you ask me to leave?”

“You’re making this harder than it has to be.”

“I’m making this harder?” he asked, breathlessly, unable to stop his darkened laughter. He looked away from her and sucked in his bottom lip.

A moment passed, and Cassian refused to meet her gaze. “I don’t get it,” he said, at last. “I don’t get it. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know what you want from me.” His words were coming out rushed, frazzled. “Know what? Fine. If this is the way you want it, this is the way it is. I’ll be at Elain’s and Azriel’s tonight, and I’m taking Nyx with me. I’ll bring him by tomorrow, when Viviane is there.”

With that, he was gone.

And Nesta was left alone, her hands flying over her mouth as she sobbed, still able to feel the soft, tender, alluring feeling of his lips on hers.

#snacmc lawki #snacmc collab #snelbz tacmc collab #life as we know it #nessian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 19}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Well, we promised a chapter today, so we decided to follow through on that. Even if we did post a surprise chapter last night. Oh, well. Enjoy! 🙃✨

Cassian sighed as he opened his eyes.

Another year older, another year wiser.

Well.

Another year older, anyway.

He blinked as he looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 7:58. Two minutes before his alarm would have gone off.

He hated when that happened, when his mind woke him up just before his alarm went off. There was no time to go back to sleep, it was perfect sleeping time wasted.

It was bullshit.

With a yawn, Cassian swung his legs over the side of his bed and got up. He stumbled to his dresser and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, just in time for his alarm to go off.

“Fuck you,” he muttered, quickly turning it off before flinging open his bedroom door.

It smelled delicious.

He meandered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Nesta was icing a giant cake.

Her eyes darted to his.

He blinked.

“Get out!” she ordered.

“What the hell are you-.”

“Out!” she ordered, yet again.

Nyx babbled something at the top of his lungs that closely resembled, YEAH!

He did as he was told, blearily blinking as he stumbled back into the living room. He dragged a hand down his face. “Can I at least have some coffee?”

“In a minute!” She called and he heard quick footsteps, followed by the back door opening and closing. It opened again and she said, breathlessly, “Okay. You can come in now.”

Tentatively, Cassian rounded the corner and he found Nesta placing a platter of cinnamon rolls on the counter in place of the—

“Where did the cake go?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Nesta was lifting a cinnamon roll onto each of the plates in front of her, cutting the one for Nyx into tiny bites for him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He blinked again, half-wondering if he’d imagined the decorated monstrosity he’d seen on the counter, but he sniffed, smelling the air again.

It mostly smelled like the sweet and spicy scent of cinnamon, but—

No, that was definitely cake he smelled.

“Right…” he said, pulling forks out of the silverware drawer and setting one next to each plate. “You’re up early.”

“Had a lot to do before renovations start this morning. I’m meeting Helion and the contractor at the restaurant at nine.” She sipped her own coffee, not looking at him. Mixing truth and lies, it seemed, since he knew she was meeting the contractor this morning. As for a lot to do, he knew everything at the restaurant was already taken care of. She cleared her throat. “I wasn’t expecting you to be up so early either.”

Cutting into the gooey cinnamon roll, he said, “I gotta be at the bar in an hour. I’m talking with Kallias this morning before my shift starts.”

She set her coffee down and finally looked at him. “You have to work today?”

“Yeah,” he replied, popping the bite of pastry into his mouth. He resisted the urge to moan. “It’s Tuesday. I always work on Tuesdays.”

She hesitated, deciding whether she should speak or not. “But it’s your birthday.”

He couldn’t stop his smirk. He knew there had been a cake.

“And who told you that?” He asked, leaning over to wipe Nyx’s face off. The poor kid had icing all over his face, all the way up into his hair.

“That’s not important,” she said.

“Elain, then,” Cassian went on with a grin.

Nesta pretended like she hadn’t heard him and took a giant bite of her cinnamon roll.

“I’ll take Nyx with me to the bar,” Cassian said. “Viviane texted. She has the stomach flu.”

Nesta cringed. “That sucks. I...wait - you’re taking a baby to a bar?”

Cassian shrugged. “He’ll be fine. I only have to stay until two or so.”

“A baby,” she repeated, blinking. “To a bar.”

“You prefer to take him into a construction zone?” Cassian asked. “One that you’re in charge of? That sounds stressful.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “I can ask Elain to watch-.”

“I’m taking him with me and he’ll be fine,” Cassian said, shaking his head. “I promise.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. And he held up both hands. “I promise,” he repeated.

“Fine. But call me if you need to and I’ll come get him,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I’ll be in my office most of the day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around in a construction zone.”

“And I’ll take the carrier and physically wear him all day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around the actual bar.”

Nesta groaned. “Fine. Fine. But take the pack-n-play, his monitor and toys. He can entertain himself well enough.”

“Okay,” Cassian nodded, finishing off his cinnamon roll. He pulled Nyx out of his high chair, who was now playing with and wearing most of his food, rather than eating it, and said, “I’ll give him a bath while you get ready.”

“Okay.” He was nearly in the living room when he heard, “Cass?” He turned and looked back at her, still not completely used to the familiar nickname from her. She was blushing slightly. “Happy birthday.”

Smiling, he said, “Thanks,” and turned to head up the stairs.

Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.

*

“Any birthday plans?”

“You’re looking at it.”

Kallias chuckled as he observed Cassian, a wiggly baby strapped to his chest, counting the liquor bottles that lined the wall.

“How old are you anyway?” he continued, wiping down the bartop. “Thirty? Thirty-one?”

“You wound me,” Cassian muttered, scribbling a number down on his clipboard, not bothering to tell Kallias just how close to thirty he was getting to.

“I would say we should do shots to celebrate your big day,” Kallias began, taking Nyx’s outstretched hand. “But, I think your little housewife would disapprove.”

Cassian snorted. “If Nesta Archeron ever heard you call her such a thing, you’d lose a very important body part.”

“Not interested in that, thank you very much,” he muttered. “She ever gonna stop in, so I can see this terrifying woman you’ve told me about?”

“About that…” Cassian pulled Nyx out of the carrier and carried him into the back office, setting him down in the play pen. Grabbing the baby monitor, he made his way back into the front room.

Kallias looked up from where he was cutting limes at the bar. “About what?”

He leaned a hip on the bar and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nesta is going to be expanding the restaurant, adding a bar. That’s actually where she is right now, why I’ve got the kiddo with me. Didn’t really want him in a construction site.”

“Hot nanny couldn’t keep him?” Kallias asked, grinning.

Cassian rolled his eyes. “No, she’s sick. But, uh-.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna be leaving and going over there, managing for her.”

Kallias eyes widened. “Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah. And I’d like you to come over there with me. Be my assistant manager at the new place.”

Kallias stopped cutting, mid-lime. “You do realize we are two out of five people that work here, right?”

Cassian nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I do. And I also know we can hire more people here.”

Kallias looked back down at his half-cut lime. “Assistant manager, huh?”

“It’s in a great part of town, we’d get amazing tips on top of already being paid more,” Cassian said. “It’s an amazing opportunity.”

“So I’d be stupid to say no, then?” Kallias asked, continuing to cut his limes.

“Incredibly stupid,” Cassian agreed.

Nyx’s happy babbling came through on the baby monitor.

“I’ll think about it,” Kallias said, at last.

“Think about it, then tell me yes, because I’m not going there without you,” Cassian said.

Kallias snorted. “You’re a shitty liar. You’re going, whether I go or not.”

“And why wouldn’t you come with me?” Cassian asked, facing his friend. He and Kallias had worked together for years, since Kallias came in at twenty-one, during his senior year of college. “You want to be stuck in this dive bar forever? I know you. You’re a creature of habit. If I leave you here, you’ll be here for the next twenty years.”

Kallias didn’t bother telling him it wasn’t true. He just shook his head. “I guess we better start interviewing people, then.”

*

The day did not go as planned. Cassian had to stay and help out until nearly five-thirty, and by the time Cassian walked in the front door, Nyx was knocked out cold in his car seat. He gently set it down and unbuckled him, carrying him into the kitchen. It smelled divine, like roasting herbs and cooked veggies, even if he couldn’t see anything radiating the delicious smells.

Nesta was also nowhere in sight, so he took Nyx up to his nursery and laid him down, setting the baby monitor back up where it usually sat. He slipped the screen in his back pocket and made his way back downstairs, hurrying out to his truck to get Nyx’s diaper bag and the folded up playpen.

As he was setting it back up in the living room, he heard the sliding glass door open and close and made sure he was making enough noise to alert Nesta of his presence.

“You’re home,” she said, leaning on the doorway. “Nyx asleep?”

“Out like a light,” he said, tossing the few toys he’d brought with him back into the pen. “He had fun though.”

“Good. Dinner is almost done,” she smiled. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Starving,” he sighed and took another deep breath in. “It smells amazing.”

Turning, Nesta walked back into the kitchen. “Steak, garlic mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and green beans, and homemade rolls.”

He watched as she took the carrots and green beans out of the oven and placed them next to a plate of steak she must have just brought in from the grill.

Cassian’s mouth was damn near watering.

He looked at the spread as she spooned the mashed potatoes onto his plate. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Nesta tensed, then something like nervous laughter sputtered out of her mouth. “Well, I had to cook red meat for you on your birthday.”

“Does that mean you’ll be having yourself a steak, Archeron?” he asked, taking the full plate from her outstretched hands.

She gave him an amused look. “Hell no. You get both. I have a chicken kabob on the grill.”

Cassian licked his lips as he took his plate to the table. “Consider me a lucky man. Thank you.”

“Of course,” she said, clearing her throat. She piled her plate high with potatoes and veggies before going onto the deck and coming back with a grilled chicken kabob on her plate. She sat across from him. Cassian’s mouth was already full.

“How is it?” Nesta asked, cutting up a carrot before popping it into her mouth.

“Delicious,” Cassian said, mouth full. “So good.”

“If you don’t slow down, you won’t be able to enjoy the flavor,” Nesta said, knowing full well that he wouldn’t listen. Cassian practically inhaled everything on his plate within minutes.

He moaned, stretching back in his chair before running a hand through his hair. “I must say, Nes, you really outdid yourself.”

“Well, it was the least I could do after you worked and were on baby duty all day,” she said, popping a few green beans in her mouth.

They talked about their days as she finished eating. He told her about Kallias’ agreement to move to the restaurant, she told him about the beginning of construction.

They’d kept half the restaurant open, putting up a temporary wall to keep as much noise and dust out as they could, but the sooner the build was done the better. They both agreed on that.

“So, despite your switch with the cinnamon rolls this morning,” Cassian said from where he sat as she rinsed off their plates, “I’m fairly sure I saw a cake when I came downstairs.”

“Really now,” she said, and he saw the small smile on her face.

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “And, you know, I like cake.”

“And why, exactly, would I make you a cake?” She crooned, that little smile remaining.

“Because I’m the world's best roommate and uncle, obviously,” he said.

Nesta laughed as she stood. “Yeah, whatever.”

After exiting through the back door, she returned a moment later with a big, homemade cake.

It was exquisite.

Perfectly decorated and topped with vanilla and buttercream frosting, it read Happy birthday, Cassian!

As Nesta placed it on the countertop, Cassian asked, “Nesta, when the hell did you find time to make this?”

She shrugged. “Stayed up later and got up early. Didn’t have to be too early since you decided to sleep in today, but…” Her words trailed off. “I figured it was the least I could do.”

His mouth tightened, emotion he wasn’t expecting hitting him and he cleared his throat. “You gonna sing to me?” He asked, cracking a joke to break the tension that was slowly growing.

Nesta threw her head back and laughed. “Absolutely not.”

Cassian bit back his retort and the monitor in his back pocket went off, crying coming from upstairs.

“I’ll get him,” she said, standing up. “I’m sure he’s hungry. Will you cut up green beans and carrots for him?”

He nodded, the cake forgotten as he did what he was told, and Nesta returned with a bleary-eyed Nyx a few minutes later.

“Hi buddy,” Cassian said, chuckling at Nyx’s hazy expression. He was already sitting at the table with a plate of cut up food.

The second Nyx saw the display, he was whining and reaching for it.

“Slow down, you need to be buckled into your seat first,” Nesta said, shaking her head.

“I can’t blame him,” Cassian said, as Nyx was strapped into his high chair. “I’m starving when I wake up, too.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Men.”

The second Nyx’s diapered butt hit the seat, he was stuffing his mouth.

“I guess we should wait for him to eat the cake,” Cassian said, looking longingly at the cake.

Nesta chuckled. “No patience?”

“When it comes to homemade baked goods?” Cassian scoffed. “No.”

She snorted, which had Cassian raising an eyebrow. She looked at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “That was just…cute.”

Nesta didn’t reply, but he swore she could see her cheeks heating as she turned to put the leftovers from dinner away.

Once Nyx’s plate was cleared, Nesta cut three slices of cake. One was barely a sliver, one was mostly icing and one was damn near a quarter of the cake. She took the one with extra frosting for herself, placing the small one in front of Nyx and the larger one in front of Cassian.

Again, Nyx wasted no time scarfing it down. Cassian didn’t either, helping himself to another, much smaller piece afterwards, but not touching it yet.

“You sure you don’t want to sing to me?” He asked, taking a bite of the cake. “It would complete my day.”

Nyx, an impending sugar crash, was already dozing again. Apparently, his day with Uncle Cassian had well and truly worn him out.

She rolled her eyes and wiped the excess cake off of Nyx’s face. Pulling him out of his high chair, she said, “No, I think I’m good.”

“I’m just saying,” Cassian pushed. “If you wanted to really wish me a happy birthday, a song would do.”

Nesta snorted, taking Nyx in her arms and swaying, back and forth. “You’ve never heard me sing.”

“If your singing is as good as your cooking, it must be amazing,” Cassian promised.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Have I told you that you’re full of shit?”

Cassian pretended to debate it. “Maybe once or twice.”

Nesta chuckled, and said no more about it. “Finish your cake, Nazari. This little monster is ready for bed. I’ll put him down. It’s your birthday.”

It wasn’t that putting Nyx to bed was exhausting. Although sometimes it could be a chore, Cassian nodded and took another bite of his cake as Nesta and Nyx disappeared.

In their absence, Cassian cleared his plate.

The cake was delicious.

He knew Nesta was an amazing cook, but didn’t know that her baking skills were just as good. It was the best cake he had ever eaten. He was even considering getting himself a third piece, but decided against it as she rounded the corner back into the kitchen.

She sighed, falling into her chair. “That may have been record time to get him down. He was practically asleep before I’d even pulled the curtains shut.”

“He had a big day,” Cassian said, eyeing the piece of cake on her plate that she hadn’t even touched. “Taught him how to make a mojito. He’s a pro. Maybe we should hire him on at the bar.”

Shaking her head, Nesta cut into her cake and took a bite. She chuckled. “I’m sure that doesn’t violate any labor laws.”

“Nah, we’re his guardians,” Cassian said, waving a hand. “We can certainly get some free labor out of him.”

She rolled her eyes. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.” She took another bite of cake, and Cassian’s eyes dipped to her mouth. He was quiet for long enough that she asked, “What?”

He hesitated but said, “You’ve got a little—”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead he leaned forward across the small space between them and swiped the frosting that was on the corner of her lips away with his thumb.

Nesta didn’t move.

She didn’t push him away, didn’t tell him to stop touching her, either.

Cassian’s thumb lingered against her lips, and when she looked up, he was already watching her, quietly.

She opened her mouth to say something.

What? She wasn’t sure.

But, when her lips moved, Cassian’s did, too.

He kissed her, softly, slowly, and Nesta melted right into it.

#snacmc lawki #snacmc collabs #snelbz tacmc collab #life as we know it #lawki #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 23}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was torn.

Half of her thought that Cassian was overreacting, but the other half of her thought that his anger and frustration was perfectly justified.

What exactly were they getting into? And, was it what was best for Nyx? Yeah, the last month had been great, but if it didn’t work out, what would that mean for him? Would it be better if she and Cassian had simply remained two friends, co-parenting under one roof?

Nesta’s heart began to beat a little faster.

She felt like she was going into a panic attack.

Cassian and Nyx had been gone for an hour, and every second that passed became more and more unbearable.

She needed him to be there.

She needed to figure this out.

She just didn’t know what the answer was.

Alis had gotten into her head, there was no doubt about that. A little over an hour ago, she was living in a dream, then Alis came in, out of nowhere, and brought her back to reality.

She was sitting on the couch, almost exactly where he’d left her, when he finally returned. He was covered in sweat, his t-shirt sticking to him. Nyx was having a conversation with him, more to himself though, since it didn’t seem like Cassian was even close to paying attention to him. But his eyes went directly to Nesta as soon as he walked in.

She’d changed. She no longer wore his t-shirt, instead in a loose shirt of her own and a pair of jeans, and her hair was loose and wet around her face. As if she’d need to shower their night together, shower him off of her. Not a shred of that beautiful skin was showing, not like she’d been doing lately. Leggings and shorts and tank tops. She’d been comfortable around him.

With a scoff, Cassian set Nyx down on the floor. He headed for the stairs, but Nesta stood, nearly toppling the cup of coffee she’d been clutching over as she set it on the coffee table. “Cassian, we need to talk about this.”

He paused, waving a hand towards her. “What for? It looks like you’ve already made your decision.”

“I need you to calm down,” she said, steadily. “I need you to think logically.”

Cassian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I need you to tell me.”

Nesta hesitated. “Tell you what?”

“If this is something you want to pursue or if I just wasted the last couple months falling in love with you,” he finished.

His voice may have lacked emotion, but Nesta felt every word like a stab in the chest. Falling in love with you. Those were the words she was going to tell him today, under much different circumstances.

Now, she didn’t know what to think.

Now, she was overwhelmed.

Now, all of her thoughts were rushing toward the same spot in the middle of her skull at a thousand miles an hour, and when they got there, her head would explode.

“It’s not that easy,” she said, and her voice cracked.

“But it should be,” Cassian said. “If you feel the way that I do, it should be that easy.”

“We have to think of Nyx,” she breathed.

“I am thinking of Nyx,” he said, struggling to keep his voice low. At the sound of his name, the baby turned to look at him. “I want him to grow up in a happy home, seeing two people who love each other, and damn it if that isn��t how it’s been for the past few weeks.”

“It’s not that simple,” Nesta said, shaking her head. “What happens if we break up? What happens if we get in a fight or something happens to one of us? What then?”

He had strode down the stairs and was in front of her before he could stop himself. He framed her face in his hands, like he had so many times the past month, to kiss her, to make love to her, to show her how he cared for her. “Why are you worrying about the what if’s? Why are you worrying about what could go wrong, rather than how right everything has been?”

Because everything goes wrong eventually. The only reason we’re together is because we were shoved into this house after the worst thing imaginable happened. They died. We took over. What right do we have to be happy?

The words flooded her mind, but stilled on her tongue.

Nesta didn’t push him away. She wanted to reach up on her toes and kiss him, softly, but she didn’t.

Instead, she met his gaze. “Cass,” she breathed.

The pain in his eyes nearly shattered her heart into a million pieces.

Nyx had walked up to them and was hugging Nesta’s leg, as if he knew that she needed the comfort.

“Dont say my name like that,” he whispered.

Nesta slowly shook her head. “I just think this has all happened too quickly. We haven’t been thinking, we’ve just been acting-.”

“You’re pushing me away,” Cassian interrupted, swallowing harshly. “Damn it, Nesta.”

“You don’t understand,” she pleaded.

“Because you’re not making sense,” he argued. “Things have been perfect—”

“They’re dead!” She cried, pulling from his grip, scooping Nyx up. “Things have been far from perfect. We’re only like this now because Rhys and Feyre are dead.”

The words seemed to freeze something inside of Cassian and he stepped back as well. “So what? We go back to how we used to be? I’m back in the guest room and we awkwardly exchange good mornings over breakfast?”

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the sight of him, the scent of him, everything. “I don’t know, Cassian, I don’t—.” She took a shuddering breath, her arms wrapping tighter around Nyx. “I just need some time to think, to breathe…”

When she looked back up at him, his jaw was set and he was slowly nodding. “Fine. Take your time.”

And then he was moving, back up the stairs before Nesta could even ask what he was doing.

A few minutes later, he was back with a duffle bag in his hands.

“Wh—what are you doing?”

“Giving you space,” he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

Nesta opened her mouth but nothing came out. She was frozen where she stood, her feet stuck to the floor, her mouth hanging open, that panic rising from the pit of her stomach into her heart, which was beating far too quickly.

Cassian kissed Nyx on the forehead as he passed, but paid Nesta no mind as he went for the door.

“Cassian!” She called, at last.

Cassian stopped just in front of the door, keeping his back to her, one hand on the doorknob.

“You're just going to leave?” She asked, quietly, bouncing a sleepy Nyx on her hip. “Just like that?”

Cassian didn’t turn around. “Are you going to ask me to stay?”

Yes. No. I don’t know. Nesta said nothing.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he grumbled, exhaustion lacing his tone. “Maybe I need time to think, too.”

He opened the door and shut it softly behind him.

*

He didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t have anywhere else to go.

He knew where he wanted to be, but right now…

He couldn’t look at her.

It didn’t escape him that when he’d told her he’d fallen in love with her, she didn’t say it back. He couldn’t even act like he hadn’t seen her eyes flare in panic. So he couldn’t stay there. Couldn’t go back to sleeping in that guest room, not when he’d become so used to sleeping with her in his arms every night.

So Cassian had ended up here, knocking on his brother’s door, thankful that his car had been parked in the driveway when he pulled up.

He needed a drink. He needed someone to tell him he was being an asshole. He needed someone to listen while he vented and bitched. He knew Azriel would do all that for him.

When he answered the door, Seph was in his arms, pulling on his bottom lip. She smiled when she saw Cassian, but Azriel’s surprised smile quickly faded.

“Do I want to know?” He asked, looking at the duffel bag tossed over Cassian’s shoulder.

Cassian sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

Azriel stared at him for a second before stepping aside and letting Cassian pass.

“Are we talking about this now or later?” Azriel asked, shutting the door behind them.

“Beer?” Cassian asked, dropping his bag beside the couch.

“Fridge,” Azriel said, slowly, watching him.

Cassian made his way to the kitchen and threw open the refrigerator door, grabbing a cold bottle and chugging its contents.

Azriel followed, leaning against the countertop and Seph continued to play with his lips.

“Where’s Elain?” Cassian asked, tossing the empty bottle into the trash and getting another.

“Work,” Azriel said, sighing. “So, if this involves smack talking Nesta, you may want to get it out now.”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to do that, barely wanted to think about her. But he owed Azriel at least some explanation.

“The social worker stopped by this morning,” he sighed, leaning back against the counter and opening the beer. “And honestly, yeah, it was unexpected, but I figured it’d be fine. Last time, Nes was drunk off her ass, but we— I figured, since we were more of a family this time, things would be great.”

Azriel blinked. “They’re not taking Nyx, are they?”

Another shake of his head. “No, gods, no. They— She could tell he was in good hands, but she immediately picked up on Nesta and I. What we’ve…become.”

It seemed, just like Cassian, Azriel didn’t see it as a problem. He wasn’t following. “And?”

“And Nyx was hungry so I left the social worker and Nesta alone to get him breakfast. I came back and she’s gone and Nesta is second-guessing our relationship. She asked if I’m just fucking her out of convenience.”

The thought made him sick to his stomach, almost as badly as it hurt his heart.

“And you replied with…” Azriel began, trailing off, waiting for Cassian to finish the sentence.

“I went for a jog,” Cassian said, shrugging.

“So you ran away?” Azriel pushed.

Cassian shot him a look. “No. I went for a jog.”

Azriel sighed. “And when you came back?”

“She said she needed space,” Cassian said, emptying his bottle.

Azriel set Seph on the floor with a plastic spatula, which she instantly start banging on the cabinets. “And that’s when you ran away?”

“I didn’t run,” Cassian snapped. “I gave her what she wanted. I gave her space.”

Azriel slowly shook his head. “Did you even try to talk things out?”

“Yes,” Cassian said, the word clipped. “Told her I was falling in love with her, and guess how she replied?”

Azriel watched his brother.

“Didn’t say a fucking word,” Cassian finished.

When Azriel didn’t speak, he walked back to the trash can, dropping the bottle inside.

“Quit looking at me like I’m the bad guy here,” he said, unable to turn around and look his brother in the eye. “She was ending it. She was calling things off and I’m supposed to, what? Just keep living there like we were before? Pretend nothing has changed?” He swallowed hard, willing the damn tears clouding his vision to fade. They wouldn’t. “She didn’t even ask me to stay.”

Azriel sighed, opening a cabinet beside the fridge that Seph couldn’t reach. He produced a bottle of whiskey and set it on the counter. “I can’t drink until Elain gets home. And I absolutely think you need to talk to Nesta, but I think you’re right. You need to stay here tonight. Give her space.”

Cassian blinked, and a tear that was holding on slid free, down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away. He felt ridiculous, but it had been a long time since he had told a woman that he loved her. He’d never said it in his adulthood. A couple times in his teens, before he knew what the word really meant, but never as an adult.

He’d said it.

He’d meant it.

And she hadn’t felt the same.

Cassian nodded and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

*

Nesta stared at Cassian’s contact on her phone screen.

She wanted to press the call button, but didn’t.

She did open a blank text a few times, but couldn’t type anything.

She didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to do.

She knew what she wanted.

She wanted Cassian.

But, she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

She had never been one who was dependent on a man, had spent most of her twenties single and having no problem with it. But suddenly, she couldn’t imagine her day to day life without Cassian in it. And that terrified her.

She heard murmuring on the baby monitor sitting next to her on the side table and glanced over to see Nyx sitting up in his crib.

It had been nearly three hours since Cassian left, and aside from putting Nyx down for a nap, Nesta had barely moved. She still sat in the same spot on the couch she’d been in when the social worker had shown up and when she’d ignored that Cassian had said that he loved her.

The words should have filled her with joy and she should have screamed from the rooftops that she loved him, too. Instead she locked up and thought she was going to be sick.

What was wrong with her?

Wiping away the tears she didn’t even realize had fallen, Nesta hurried up the stairs, and into Nyx’s nursery. He reached for her the moment he saw her, his own big, blue eyes beginning to fill with tears.

“What’s wrong, bubba?” She cooed, resting his head against her shoulder.

After a deep sigh, he looked up at her and reached for a tear that had fallen down her cheek. His lip began to wobble.

“I’m okay,” Nesta promised, even though her voice cracked and those tears continued. “I’m okay, buddy, I promise.”

Nyx knew, though.

He knew something wasn’t right.

He knew Cassian was gone.

He knew Nesta was heartbroken.

Little did he know that her heartbreak was self-inflicted.

Nyx laid his head back on her shoulder and clung to her. He stayed like that as she walked back downstairs and sat back in her spot on the couch.

He held onto her, looking around the room. She knew he was looking for him and was about to tell him he wasn’t here when he spoke. The word wasn’t a mash up of noises like it had always been. No, it was a true and steady word. His first word.

“Dada?”

Nesta froze. She didn’t even know what to say. Should she tell him Cassian wasn’t his father? He probably wouldn’t even understand, just like he didn’t understand where Rhys and Feyre had gone.

But…for all intents and purposes, Cassian was his daddy now. And she was his mama.

So she pressed a kiss to his dark hair and whispered. “He had to leave, baby. He had to go for a little while.”

Nesta hoped and prayed that Cassian would walk back through that door, and yet, she couldn’t muster the courage to ask him to.

That night, instead of Cassian taking up the spot next to her, it was Nyx, who held her hand until they both fell asleep.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #lawki #snacmc collab #snelbz tacmc collab #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #nessian #nesta #cassian

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 20}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​​ 

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: 18+, mature readers only, nsfw.

Cassian moved before he’d even realized what he was doing.

His lips met Nesta’s before he could think better of it, and the second their mouths met, he was done for. 

One time.

They had agreed that the last time would be the one and only time.

And yet, when he kissed her, she fell into him and her arms wrapped around his neck. 

He stepped closer, closing that small space between them, and pressed his body up against hers as he lifted her up and set her on the counter. 

Bracing his hands on each side of Nesta’s ass, her legs wrapped firmly around his waist. 

They’d been dancing around this for days, weeks even, and Cassian wouldn’t have been lying if he said that he’d been happy when she broke it with the doctor a couple weeks before. He wanted her to be happy, she deserved to be happy and if that was with someone else, he’d accept it. But the feeling of her lips on his had him feeling alive, the way her lithe hands gripped his shoulders lit a fire within him.

One of his own hands gripped her hip, the other slipping around her waist, and he slanted his mouth over hers. His tongue brushed against her lips, and she opened for him, the kiss slow but searing.

She took his breath away.

Years ago, if someone told him he’d be kissing Nesta Archeron, that he’d have feelings for her, he would’ve thought them crazy. Now, however, he couldn’t believe he didn’t see it sooner.

Sure, she was a pain in the ass, but he wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, either.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered, into her mouth. “Tell me to stop, and I’ll stop.”

Nesta pulled him closer to her, gripping the back of his t-shirt, almost as if she was afraid if she let go, he’d pull away.

He wouldn’t, though.

If she wasn’t going to tell him to stop, if she didn’t want him to stop, he sure as hell wasn’t going to.

There was no alcohol coursing through them this time, this was all of their own free will. Their need for each other.

And gods, he wanted her. He needed her. He’d thought of no one but her for months, especially after the first time before. And now here they were again, as if fate were putting them back together, as Rhys and Feyre had tried to do before.

His tongue explored her mouth, taking his time, so unhurried, so different from the last time he’d kissed her. Cassian had been so lost in his lust for her that he hadn’t taken the time to appreciate her, to note the noises she made or how soft her lips were or how she smelled like a crisp, autumn night.

But this time, he wouldn’t waste a second. He wanted to learn what made her moan, how to make her writhe and just what he needed to do to make Nesta Archeron lose control.

For someone who was typically so damn put together, he needed to see her wild, free, untamed. 

Nesta seemed to feel that want, that desperate need, too, because as Cassian nipped at her bottom lip, she whimpered and her thighs on either side of him tightened. 

Cassian was done wasting time.

In a quick, fluid motion, Cassian pulled her top off and tossed it somewhere behind him. He didn’t know where. He didn’t care where. As long as it wasn’t left on her body, hiding her beautiful skin, the roadmap that he was about to spend his sweet, cherished time exploring. 

She did the same to him, but she was much more deliberate in tossing his clothes aside. She gripped the fabric in her hands for a moment before dropping it down, next to his feet.

Cassian pulled back and Nesta ran her hands down the defined muscles of his abdomen. She watched her fingers attentively as they made their way from his shoulders, to the band of his sweatpants. 

His chest was heaving, and he could barely contain himself as she gently tugged on the band. His lips found her neck and he bit and licked the sensitive skin there, listening to the quiet gasps that escaped her. He lingered at the spot beneath her ear, his hands pressing against her bare back, feeling her, pressing her against him.

“Take me upstairs,” Nesta breathed, gasping as he sucked along the base of her neck.

Cassian shook his head, slowly, continuing to kiss down her neck, along her collarbone, tracing the outline of her bra. “I can’t wait that long,” he whispered.

Nesta’s breath left her as she pushed the band of his sweats down with her fingertips, then her heels until he was slowly stepping out of them in nothing but his boxer-briefs.

“Can’t wait that long to do what, exactly?” she asked, and Cassian pulled back, his arms remaining around her. 

He kissed her forehead, then her nose, and her lips. “What I’ve been dreaming of doing for weeks,” he promised. “And taking my damn time, this time, doing it.”

Nesta’s palm found his stubbled cheek before reaching around the back of his head and tugging his lips back to hers. 

His only lips stayed there for a moment before they were trailing down, down, down, between the valley of her breasts. He pushed her back until she was laying down against the counter and his mouth hovered over the waistband of leggings she wore.

She watched him, mesmerized by the gentleness of the kisses he pressed to her abdomen, his warm breath heating her skin, until he reached up and pulled on the fabric. She lifted her hips in earnest, letting him tug them down, the lace panties she wore going with them.

Cassian stood again, gazing down at her. She was bare before him, save for the pale, pink bra she wore, but he’d make short work of that soon. For now, there was only one thing he could focus on.

His fingers brushed against the inside of her thigh and her legs opened wider subtly. Watching him, her cheeks flushed and eyes wild, Nesta thought she may combust as he crouched between her legs.

His mouth was even with her sex.

“Have you thought about this as much as I have?” He asked, and she could feel his breath against her. “Thought about my mouth on you?”

She nodded, the ability to speak long gone.

Cassian went on, but he moved no closer. “About my tongue between your legs?”

“Yes.” The word was a whisper, but it was all she could manage.

He was right there, so close to where she needed him, where she’d imagined him for weeks.

But first he admired her, and took in the image of her smooth, pretty pink pussy before him. He parted her folds before leaning in and dragging his tongue slowly down the center.

Nesta’s body tensed, then soon relaxed as a soft curse fell from her lips. 

Cassian said he would take his time with her, and it wasn’t a lie, wasn’t an exaggeration. 

His tongue slid between her folds, once more, then again, and again, and again. She tasted so sweet, so addicting. 

Cassian gripped her ass and pulled her closer into his mouth. His tongue circled her clit, slowly, tauntingly, then he began to suck. Slowly, at first, his eyes wide open, looking up at her, memorizing every movement of her body.

Her fingertips turned white, one hand gripping the countertop, the other cupping her breast. 

Her lips were parted, her eyes closed, her face relaxed, perfectly at peace.

Lost in bliss. 

She moved her hips, a sign for him to keep going, a sign for him to move quicker, but he wouldn’t.

He would take his fucking time. 

She seemed to realize that as he gently flicked his tongue over her clit again, because even as she gasped, her hips stilled. She seemed to be restraining herself, trying so hard to keep her body still, but he noted every squirm, jerk and bow that her body made off of the counter.

Nesta’s fingers found their way into Cassian’s hair, the only part of her body that moved freely. Other than that, her body remained still, although those beautiful, long, delicate fingers gripped Cassian’s dark waves and pulled, her grip tightening every time his tongue flicked over her. 

It wasn’t until her knees began to shake on either side of his head that Nesta began to lose control.

He loved it when she lost control. 

She moaned, the sound making Cassian enthralled enough to repeat it, the noise muffled by the fact that Cassian’s mouth was satisfyingly full.

He wouldn’t tease her tonight. No, he wanted her wild, unleashed.

He wanted to make her cum as many times as he could.

He knew she was approaching that crest, knew her release was imminent, as her fingers tightened in his hair to a point of near pain. Her voice was climbing, the moans turning into cries of pleasure and when she at least cried out his name, Cassian thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.

Nesta’s thighs were wrapped around his head and if this was how he died, he’d consider it a blessing. She shattered, repeating his name over and over again, and he lapped up everything she gave him. He bit and licked and sucked until she was a quivering mess on the counter, until she fell still at last, her heavy breathing the only sound in the house.

Carefully, slowly, Cassian gripped the edge of the counter and pulled himself up, only to look at her. 

She was beautiful.

Sprawled out on the counter without a care in the world, Nesta’s eyes were shut. Her chest was heaving, her body limp. 

“Cassian,” she breathed, and he kissed the inside of one thigh, then the other, before kissing his way back up her body. “Shit.”

“Those sounds…” Cassian began, shaking his head. “You have no idea what they do to me.” Nesta’s eyes fluttered open, and she met his hungry gaze. “What do they do to you?”

Cassian continued to shake his head, slowly. He felt drunk, even though he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. “Makes me forget where I am, who I am. The rest of the world fades away. All I can hear, all I can think about...are those damned sounds.”

Nesta pushed herself up into a sitting position, and ran her fingers through Cassian’s hair, once again. Her breaths were still uneven.

Her eyes went wide as she looked up at him and he was about to ask what was wrong.

There was no way she hadn’t enjoyed it, he knew she wasn’t faking her orgasm, there was no way. The proof of it was still on the counter beneath her, on his face.

But then Nesta glanced down at her own hand and then back at the cake behind her.

She burst out laughing.

Her hand was covered in frosting, the cake half smashed. It was a mess.

And in his hair…

Cassian reached up to touch his hair, where she’d run her fingers through it.

Frosting coated most of the strands.

When he looked back at her face, she was blushing, biting her bottom lip, but that smile still held firmly in place. He could tell she was trying not to laugh, even as she said, “Sorry.”

Tugging her to the edge of the counter, stepping between her spread legs, he let his lips brush against hers as he asked, “Is something funny?”

She shook her head, laughter still dancing in her eyes, and he could tell she was physically restraining herself from kissing him.

Wearing nothing but his boxer-briefs, he ground against her, the thin fabric the only barrier between them now, and she gasped. He asked, “You sure?”

Nesta’s restraint snapped and she crashed her lips against his again. Cassian lifted her, his hands beneath her ass and carried her up the stairs, into her room and into the bathroom beyond.

Neither of them said a word, neither of them broke that kiss, as Cassian turned on the water in the shower. Without letting her go, he slipped out of his underwear and Nesta gasped at the instant contact made between them. 

He made sure it was warm before he stepped inside and pressed Nesta’s back up against the wall.

Nesta clung to him as if her life depended on it. Their mouths didn’t break, their tongues continued to dance along one another in a steady, fluid motion. 

The water poured over them, the sound of the water hitting the tile nearly drowning out the sound of heavy breathing, panting. 

“Cassian,” she breathed, head falling back against the tiled wall. Cassian’s lips didn’t part from her skin. They trailed down her neck and sucked on her collarbone. 

Nesta rotated her hips, trying to get some sort of friction, but Cassian wasn’t ready. His cock was hard, of course, there was no denying that.

Nesta could feel it.

But that foreplay… He wasn’t done.

Cassian was not a selfish lover. Some men came and went so fast the whole ordeal was nearly meaningless, unmemorable. 

Cassian, however, wanted his lover to be pleased, especially when it came to Nesta. Nesta had never felt so important, so focused on.

She wanted him to feel the same way.

With one hand cupping the back of his neck, the other pushed lightly against his chest. He let her feet touch the floor again, but his lips continued their worship of her skin. Her bra had been discarded at some point before they got in the shower, but Cassian wasn’t sure when, nor did he particularly care, not as one of his hands covered her breast. He loved the weight in his hands, adored her breasts. He’d thought about them constantly, but his memories were nothing compared to seeing them again, of rolling her peaked nipple between his fingers. He lived for the sound of the whimpers she made.

His head was dipping to take the other between his lips when a sharp tug on the back of his head had him pausing and looking at her face.

Nesta’s grin was positively feral as she put a hand on his chest and pushed back until he gave a step and then another. And then his own back was pressed against the cool tile wall.

And then Nest dropped to her knees.

Cassian closed his eyes.

He prepared himself for what was coming, but nothing could prepare him for the ethereal feeling that would soon flood his body.

Nesta’s hands rested on his thighs, and her lips wrapped around his hardened cock. 

At the contact, Cassian took a deep breath. 

Her tongue swirled around the head and he nearly lost himself right there. Nesta Arheron was a tease. A beautiful, definite tease when it came to pleasing him.

Cassian wouldn’t trade it for a thing. 

Nesta’s tongue slid across his dick, slowly, as her head began to bob.

Cassian planted himself firmly against the tile wall, careful not to move, afraid it would break the tension. 

He cursed.

His curse seemed to light a fire under Nesta. 

She moved quicker, lit by his reaction. Cassian’s hand found the back of her head, although she needed no guidance. Nesta knew exactly what she was doing, and Cassian happily let her do it.

One of her hands wrapped around the base of him, covering what she couldn’t take into her mouth and she squeezed gently. He hissed and her eyes found his, the stormy blue sparkling, as if she were remembering how he’d told her he liked it.

Her other hand slid up his body, lingering on his abdomen, before she gently dug her nails into his skin.

Cassian’s own hand tightened in her hair as she did it and the delight in her eyes told him it was exactly what she wanted.

He watched as she took him deeper and deeper with every pass, until that other hand fell between her own legs. He didn’t think he was breathing as her fingers slowly began to circle her clit then teased her entrance.

She was getting off on getting him off and the buck of his hips into her throat was involuntary. He was about to apologize, would have pulled his cock out of her mouth entirely, if it weren’t for the moan and the way she plunged her fingers inside of herself.

Nesta gagged quietly as she took him as deeply as she could, her hips writhing against her own hand and Cassian’s eyes rolled back into his head at the feeling.

He didn’t expect it, how open she was to sucking him dry. But the way she dropped to her knees and took him in, Cassian wouldn't have asked her to do anything differently. She was perfect.

At least, she was perfect for him. 

Her tongue slid along his cock, her lips moved freely around him. Cassian was falling into paradise.

She picked up her pace, and Cassian’s fingers gripped the strands of her golden-brown hair a little bit tighter. His hips bucked again, he couldn’t control it, but Nesta didn’t seem to mind. She gripped his ass a little tighter as she moaned, and it only made Cassian do it again and again and again.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “Nesta, fuck.”

She thrived on his curses, bobbing her head just a little bit quicker to let him know she cared.

She cared about his satisfaction.

She cared about him.

He had to have her. He had to be inside her now, not because he was close. No, he could hold out all night if that's what she wanted. But he needed to feel her, all around him, needed her to consume him and needed to be one with her however he could.

Cassian brushed a hand along her hollowed out cheek and under her chin. She stilled and gazed up at him, giving him her full attention, and he ran a thumb along her full bottom lip. His cock still between her lips, Cassian knew he would never tire of the sight.

As if she knew what he was thinking, Nesta stood, her hands trailing up his body, running over every divot and plane of muscle. He was about to reach around her and shut off the water, but Nesta hadn’t forgotten the reason they’d ended up in the shower in the first place.

Grabbing the bottle of shampoo off the small ledge, she squeezed a bit into her hand and, with surprising gentleness, began to work it into his hair. Cassian wasn’t sure if he was breathing as she tipped his head back into the stream and rinsed the bubbles and remaining frosting from his head. When she was through, she got some of her body wash and soaped him up, doing the same to herself, before rinsing them both off.

After she shut the water off, she opened the shower door and grabbed a towel before handing it to him, and grabbing one for herself. She toweled off her hair and body, before stepping out into the open air of the bathroom.

Cassian couldn’t help but watch her as Nesta dropped the towel on the bathroom floor and walked into her bedroom, wearing nothing but her skin.

She glanced over her shoulder as she reached her bed and crawled onto it.

Cassian didn’t instantly follow. No, he watched and waited and took in the sight. After drying himself off, he followed her into the bedroom, towel dropped.

Nesta’s eyes lingered down his body, watched as he approached, bare. For someone so big, so strong, so tall, he approached her with a serene gentleness. 

She could hardly breathe. She thought back to Balthazar, and maybe that was wrong in such a moment as this, but she couldn’t help it. She would never feel this way with him, could never feel this way with him.

In this moment, with Cassian, she felt utterly free.

With Balthazar, he was too perfect. She would feel the need to impress, would feel the need to be tamed. With Cassian, though, there was no being tamed. Nesta was free, ready. All she wanted was Cassian, and she needed him right then.

Cassian crawled on top of her on the bed and kissed her, slowly.

With nothing between them, she could feel his hard length pressing into her, and gods, she wanted him. She couldn’t think straight when his lips were moving against hers.

It was perfect. It was like everything that led them there, every horrible thing that had happened, was to bring the two of them together.

He pulled away, just a touch, and leaned back to look at her. Moving on its own accord, her hand reached up and brushed his wet hair out of his face. She wanted to see him, wanted to see every expression in those hazel eyes she’d come to know as well as her own.

He didn’t take them off of her as he lined himself up at her entrance and slowly slid in.

She was so wet, so ready for him, and there was no resistance, but he still let her adjust to him as he settled into her as deeply as he could.

Nesta’s eyes remained on his, and Cassian didn’t dare look away. There were a thousand things he wanted to tell her, felt the need to tell her, but was afraid to speak. He hoped that, in that moment, his words were as plain as day, laid bare in his eyes.

He was buried deep inside of her, and for a moment he remained still before resting one hand next to Nesta’s head, and with the other, lacing his fingers with hers.

She let him. She took his hand and held on tightly as Cassian began to pull out, only to push back in again in one long fluid motion.

Her breathing was the only sound in the room, the soft gasp she let out like music to ears each time he pulled out and pushed back in. Eventually, her eyes fluttered shut, unable to stay open as he moved inside of her. He took the chance to glance down her body, to watch as they were joined again and again, marveling at how good she felt, how perfectly he fit inside her.

It was like being home.

It was in that moment that he realized, at some point in the past few months, that that was exactly what it had become. This house, their little routine, Nyx. Nesta.

She had become his home.

A family. That’s what they were and it was overwhelming, that fact.

Cassian buried his face in the crook between her head and shoulder, his lips finding that sensitive skin as he thrust into her a bit more roughly than he had before.

Her hand clasped the back of his neck as she cried out, his name tumbling from her lips.

He had never felt this way with anyone, and it had become much more than just sex. It became a desire. Nesta had become desirable, and for much more than just her body.

Yeah, the sex was good.

Amazing.

Incredible.

Ethereal.

But it was more than just his body and hers doing the most intimate of acts.

Their souls were connecting in a way that Cassian had never felt, had never even considered possible.

She was his family.

She was his home.

And Cassian wasn’t even sure she realized it. 

Nesta’s fingers dug into the back of his neck, and he picked up his pace.

“Cass, please…”

Her voice was a breathy moan in his ear and he groaned as she wrapped her legs around his waist. The shift in her hips made the angle deeper, allowing him to fill her to the hilt, and her name tumbled from his lips as he thrust into her again and again.

Her fingers dove into his hair, tugging on the strands and he drove his hips home harder.

“Shit,” she moaned. “I’m— I’m about to—”

Nesta didn’t even finish her sentence before she cried out, her release cresting over her like a wave, dragging her under. She tightened around him and Cassian fought his own rising orgasm as her nails dragged down his back, as she clung to him, like he was her only lifeline back to herself.

He couldn’t hold on for long. He had always been insecure about the sounds he made while orgasming, but Nesta seemed to thrive on those little moans, those grunts, coming from his mouth. They were muffled by the skin of her neck as Cassian fell deeper and deeper, meeting Nesta in a state of utter bliss.

He slowed until nothing was left, and stilled, his body still covering hers, his cock buried deep inside.

They remained quiet as they fought to catch their breaths. 

As he calmed, Nesta ran one hand lazily up and down Cassian’s back, the other through his hair.

Cassian kissed her neck, softly, before pulling back and meeting her eyes.

They were full of lust, lovedrunk lust, and something that Cassian hoped he was not mistaking for adoration.

He was still breathing heavily, still trying to calm his racing heart, when he realized he’d come inside of her. She’d told him last time that he didn’t need to wear a condom, so he assumed this time was no different.

After he’d finally caught his breath, Cassian said, “I should clean—.”

“Stay with me,” she breathed, interrupting him.

He blinked, wanting to make sure he understood her words. “What?”

“Stay with me,” Nesta repeated, tucking some of his loose, unruly hair behind one of his ears. “Tonight, I… I want you to stay in here. With me.”

Swallowing harshly, Cassian nodded. He didn’t trust his voice, not when it was what he’d been dreaming she’d say, but never in a million years let himself hope that she would.

Nesta nodded as well, smiling softly. “Okay?”

His voice was hoarse and gravely. “Okay.” He couldn’t stop his own smile from growing.

Leaning down, he kissed her again, gently, softly.

He let that kiss convey all the words he was too terrified to say.

#nessian #snacmc lawki #nesta #cassian #fanfic #sjm #fanfiction #modern au

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 17}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

It had been a long day.

They hadn’t done jack shit, but a long day nonetheless, thanks to the run in with Tomas.

After eating lunch, Cassian had taken Nyx out to the pool, letting him float around in his little inner tube and splash in the water. He kept a close eye on him and he wasn’t sure he’d heard so many giggles from the little dude in months.

Not even fifteen minutes after they’d come out, Nesta decided to join them, though it wasn’t to play and splash like Nyx. No, she brought a book hat, and tanning oil, but Nyx squealed his delight when he saw her regardless.

After some goading and thinly veiled threats to splash her smutty book if she didn’t get in, Nesta relented and Nyx had the time of his life.

Until he got chlorine in his eye and had a meltdown.

Just like that, pool time was over, and after taking him inside and getting changed, Cassian was lounging on the couch while Nyx played on the floor.

Nesta started up the stairs and said, “I think I’m going to take a bath. Relax from…earlier.”

From that piece of shit Tomas and the things he’d said. Cassian wished he’d of at least said something, but he most wished he’d have throttled him.

Cassian simply nodded and Nesta was off, hurrying up the stairs and shimmying out of her bikini once she closed herself inside of the master bathroom.

She hadn’t been in the warm water with her eyes closed for five minutes before a horrid sound came from downstairs.

One word screamed at the top of Cassian’s lungs, her name.

“NESTA!”

For a moment, she thought she had imagined it. But, then he screamed again.

“NESTA!”

She shot up in the tub and was about to yell back, when she heard, “COME QUICK!”

Panic rose in the pit of her stomach as she jumped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her wet body as she threw open the bathroom door. “I’m coming! I’m coming! What happened?! What’s wrong?!”

“Come on, come on, come on!” Cassian yelled, but it wasn’t fear in his voice - only excitement. “Hurry, before you miss him!”

Nesta rounded the top of the stairs, and froze. A few feet in front of Cassian, on his own two feet, was Nyx, taking slow, steady steps toward his uncle.

Her feet carried her down the stairs in a flash and she was next to Cassian, on her knees, just like he was. At the appearance of his aunt, he grinned, those angelic cheeks rounding out and reached for her.

And he tumbled down.

“Shit,” Cassian muttered and lifted him back onto his unsteady feet, praying they weren’t about to have more tears. But the dark blue eyes that gazed up at him were not tear-filled, just wide and curious as always.

Taking a few more tentative steps, he reached them, leaning into Cassian, but a hand reaching out to take Nesta’s as he animatedly spoke in his own baby language.

“Good job, bubba,” Nesta cried, hoisting him up into her arms and crushing him in a hug. “Such a big boy.”

Nyx giggled and wiggled to be put down.

He wasn’t done just yet.

His feet hit the ground and he was off. He walked from Nesta to Cassian then back again. Every time he fell down, he got right back up and kept on moving.

“Look at you go, buddy,” Cassian laughed, catching Nyx as he made it to him.

“Think he’ll sleep good tonight?” Nesta asked, watching them both with a smile on her face.

“I hope so,” he chuckled, letting Nyx pat him on the face, grinning up at him.

He meandered back across the room, plopping down at his toys and began playing again.

“And I guess we’re done with that,” he laughed, standing up and shaking his head. “He finally walked.”

“Sixteen months,” she sighed, propping a hip on the side of the couch. “I was starting to think he’d never do it.”

“Me either,” he said, sitting down. He glanced up at her—and froze.

He’d completely forgotten she was wearing nothing but a towel.

“Didn’t we have a rule about coming down here nude?” Cassian asked, under his breath.

Nesta’s eyes darted to his. “Pardon?”

His eyebrows raised and he gestured to her towel, and Nesta looked down, as if she had completely forgotten that she was wearing it, too. “Oh, shit, sorry. I was in such a hurry to come downstairs-.”

“I mean, I don’t blame you-.”

“I could’ve put on something-.”

“I was screaming your name-.”

“Screaming my name,” Nesta repeated, her cheeks heating. Last time Cassian had screamed her name, it had been under very, very different context.

Although, she had been wearing little to nothing then, too.

The memories flashed through her mind, and from the way Cassian was watching her, she assumed that they were flashing through his, too.

She watched as his throat bobbed and his eyes left hers, dragging down her body as if he couldn’t stop himself. He met her gaze again and she felt her cheeks heating. Her cheeks, her ears, her neck, her entire body heated under that gaze.

“I’m going to…” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, towards the stairs. “Finish my bath, I guess.”

“Right,” Cassian replied, his eyes still on her. “I’ll put him down in just a few minutes.”

She glanced over at the baby as she backed up toward the stairs. Nyx was indeed starting to rub his eyes, and noticing Nesta’s attention on him, he yawned and reached for her.

Before she could cross the room, Cassian was on his feet and picking Nyx up.

“I can take him,” she protested, but he shook his head, not looking at her.

“You go relax. I’ve got him.”

Nesta cleared her throat and nodded, convincing herself to say nothing more as she hurried up the stairs, clinging to her towel.

She settled back into the bath, even though the water had chilled.

She couldn’t control her breathing.

She thought of that time when he’d caught her in the bath before, right after they had moved in, when he caught her doing intimate things with herself, alone.

Then she thought of the immense amount of pleasure that he’d given her, and how nothing and no one had ever compared to it.

Her heart began to beat a little bit faster, and a throbbing formed between her thighs.

She wondered if Cassian ever caught himself thinking about it, if he ever wanted to do it again.

Judging by the look in his eyes downstairs, the intense way he had been watching her…

Nesta pulled herself out of the tub.

She dressed and pulled her hair into a ponytail atop her head, but couldn’t decide if going downstairs would be a good or bad idea. She couldn’t decide if being around him right now was a smart decision, not when the thoughts in her head were so distracting she couldn’t even focus on the laundry she had neglected to fold for a few days.

Her phone vibrated where she’d plugged it in on her nightstand and Balthazar’s name lit up the screen.

That was another reason she couldn’t allow herself to entertain the thoughts constantly running through her head. She and Bal weren’t in a relationship, they were in no way exclusive and hadn’t had that conversation, but Nesta wasn’t the type to date—or in this case, sleep with—two men at once.

She could hear Cassian down in the living room again, no doubt cleaning up Nyx’s toys and settling down with a beer. She wanted to join him, wanted to curl up on the other side if the couch with a glass of wine and listen to him commentate whatever stupid show or game he was watching.

But she knew that wasn’t a good idea.

So she laid down on her bed, grabbed the book from her nightstand, and read until all of those emotions that Cassian made her feel faded into the back of her mind where she told them to stay.

*

The next morning, Cassian was on Nyx duty. Since he had the day off, the nanny didn’t have to come, which meant bro time.

First, they went for a jog along the Sidra where both Nyx and Cassian got their fair share of looks from the ladies. Turns out a cute kid was a great way to gain the attention of beautiful women.

On the way back home, Cassian decided to make a detour for some lunch, and ended up pushing the jogging stroller right into Nesta’s restaurant.

He knew where it was, and knew that Nesta was a damn good cook, but somehow, he hadn’t visited the restaurant in the over four months they’d been living together.

It was packed, to absolutely no surprise and when he walked in, he was greeted by an amazing array of delicious smells. Quickly realizing the stroller was going to be a hindrance, he parked it in the corner by the door and held Nyx as he made his way into one of the sitting areas.

“It’s open seating, so please, sit where you like.”

Cassian turned as a deep voice spoke from behind him. The man was watching him, and when he turned, his eyes fell on Nyx. Recognition lit them up for a moment, Nesta having brought Nyx into the restaurant more than once.

“Thanks. Is Nesta free?”

“Last I saw, she was helping out in the kitchen, but I’ll check. Take a seat and I’ll be back.”

Cassian nodded and the man was gone, disappearing through a swinging door to the back.

Indeed, Nesta was manning the grill, an assortment of sandwiches, meats, pancakes and other items sizzling around her. She was reading order tickets and communicating with her line cooks, and everything was exactly as it should be.

Until Helion was leaning on the wall next to her.

She groaned. “Tell me it’s not the lady who claims to find a hair in her food every time she’s here.”

The patron in question was in the dining room, a brunch buffet spread out before her and her friends. Her curly, red hair was piled on top of her head and without fail, she always seemed to find a lone, red, curling hair in her dishes, no matter what she ate and who was in the kitchen. Even though Nesta had no one in her employment with curly, red hair.

“Oh, no,” Helion said, his smirk growing. “There’s a handsome man out front asking for you.”

Balthazar.

Nesta groaned. Even though she didn’t mean to. “Let him know I’m busy, but I’ll be out in just a minute.”

“It’s not him,” he replied, practically singing the words. “This one has a very cute baby with him.”

She was moving before he’d finished speaking, hollering at one of her cooks to take up her place on the line.

When she went into the dining room, Cassian was sitting in a booth, Nyx in a high chair at the end of the table next to him.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Nesta crooned as she approached.

Nyx’s head whipped around at the familiar voice as Cassian looked up from his menu. Nesta was lifting Nyx out of the high chair when Cassian said, “We were out and about. Someone was hungry.”

Nesta chuckled. “Was that someone you or the baby?”

“Fine,” Cassian said, grinning. “Two someones were hungry.”

Nesta snorted as she kissed Nyx’s cheek. “Couldn't have cleaned up before coming in here?” She asked, nodding to Cassian’s damp t-shirt.

He shrugged his shoulder. “This was on the way home. You should be glad we graced you with our presence.”

“Right,” she laughed softly, sitting Nyx back in the high chair and buckling him in. “Any idea what you want?”

He was flipping through the menu, and honestly, every damn thing he saw looked delicious. He smiled up at her. “Surprise us. I can’t choose.”

Smirking, she took his menu and said, “Chicken livers and brussel sprouts, coming right up.”

He rolled his eyes as she walked away, but she entered their order into the system and returned to the table, sitting down in the empty booth seat across from him.

“He have a good morning?” She asked, holding Nyx’s outstretched hand and letting him grip her thumb. He shook her hand as hard as he could and grinned up at her, babbling excitedly.

“Aside from the blow out he had this morning, I’d say so. Which he found very amusing that I had to clean up” Cassian chuckled, rolling his eyes. “This is the only kid who laughs while he’s covered in shit, I swear.”

Nesta shook her head, laughing softly.

Cassian took the chance to look around. “This place is great, Nes. The only thing it’s missing is a bar.”

Nesta looked around with him and nodded. “I’ve thought about it quite a bit. Don’t wanna mess with licensing. I’ve already got too much on my plate around here.”

Cassian cocked his head to the side. “You just gotta get someone to run the bar, that’s all. You don’t have to do everything on your own, you know.”

Nesta looked back to Cassian. “Someone like you?”

“Handsome, smart, with a high knowledge of what it takes to run a bar?” He asked. “Yeah, someone like me.”

She narrowed her eyes and nudged his shin with the toe of her shoe. “Don’t get too cocky. If you decide to leave your bar and want a new project… Sure, I’ll add a bar.”

Cassian blinked. “I can’t tell if you’re messing with me or not.”

Nesta shook her head. “I’m always serious.”

“At one time, I thought that was true,” Cassian muttered.

His shin got another nudge.

“I’m serious,” she repeated, with a quiet laugh. “Shockingly enough, you’d be one of the few people I trust to let into my management.”

He stayed quiet for a minute, long enough that she glanced at him from where she’d been looking at Nyx. He was chewing on his bottom lip and she had to physically restrain herself from reaching over and working it out from between his teeth. Feeling her attention on him, he looked at her, and said, “We’ll talk about it more at home, yeah?”

Nodding, Nesta replied, “Of course. But don’t just do it because I said something, I don’t want-.”

“I’ve actually been thinking about opening my own place for while,” he murmured, and then quickly added, “Not that this would be my place, it’s yours, of course. But I’ve got savings. I can help with any applications and licensing and renovations that need to be done. Not to mention, it would be an investment in a growing business. That always looks good in a portfolio.”

Nesta smiled. “Like you said, we’ll talk about it at home. I’m gonna go check on your food.”

“Please do,” Cassian said, waving her away. “I’m starving.”

With a roll of her eyes, she stood up and walked toward the kitchen, shoving Cassian’s sweaty head as she walked by him.

Helion was waiting by the kitchen doors. “Flirting, how cute. It’s like watching two horny teenagers.”

“Fuck off,” Nesta muttered.

Helion only grinned and followed her into the kitchen. “Admit it. You’ve got the hots for hot uncle.”

“I can fire you, you know,” Nesta said.

“You wouldn’t,” he said, right on her heels. “You’d be bored to death here without me.”

She didn’t need to bother telling him he was right. On either front.

*

Nesta was beat by the time she got off. It was an effort of will to make it home before she fell asleep, but as she parked her car in the driveway, she nearly sighed in relief. Cassian had said he’d handle dinner, so she knew that a glass of wine—and hopefully, an uninterrupted bath—was in her future.

She hadn’t expected to find Cassian on his hands and knees as soon as she came in the door.

He looked up at her, eyes wide and said, “Uh, hey. You’re home.”

“I am,” she replied, chuckling. “What are you doing?”

He hesitated before saying, “Playing hide and seek with Nyx.”

Nesta blinked. “Hide and-? Cassian, he’s one.”

“I left him on the floor with his toys and I went into the kitchen for thirty seconds to check on dinner,” he said, standing up.

She waited for him to go on, not understanding. And then her eyes widened. “You lost him?”

“He’s not lost,” he said, holding his hands up. “We’re playing hide and seek.”

“Cassian-.”

“He’s one, Nesta, he couldn’t have gone far-.”

“He walks now!” She cried, tossing her purse on the bench by the door and hurrying into the living room.

A giggle sounded from the other room, and they both sped around the corner where Nyx had made himself perfectly happy.

In the laundry room, Nyx sat in a pile of Nesta’s laundry, waving her underwear in the air.

As Nesta let out a relieved breath, Cassian chuckled. “Atta boy.”

Nesta whacked Cassian on the shoulder before picking Nyx up and freeing her panties from his grasp.

He immediately started crying.

“Way to take his toy away,” Cassian muttered.

Nesta shot him a look.

Cassian shrugged. “I would’ve cried, too.”

Nesta tried her best not to laugh, but failed. “You’re ridiculous.”

Cassian opened his mouth to reply, but the smoke alarm near the kitchen began to blare.

Nyx’s cries got louder and Nesta stopped Cassian, giving Nyx to him and hurried into the kitchen, pulling a pan of burnt French fries out of the oven and opened the back door and the door leading to the garage. She got a kitchen towel and was waving the smoky air away from the smoke alarm, and after a minute or two, the incessant blaring ceased.

Leaning back against the counter, she took a deep breath and looked at the doorway, finding Cassian standing there, Nyx still in his arms, though the tears had stopped. He was cringing, expecting her to start yelling any moment—.

But Nesta took one look at the charred French fries and started laughing. Deep, belly laughs that made her stomach hurt so badly she doubled over.

Cassian turned to the living room, getting Nyx set up in his playpen, and walked back into the kitchen, where Nesta was still laughing with her hands on her knees, trying to get air down.

“You find something funny, Archeron?” He asked, pausing in front of her. Even he was unable to stop the small smile on his face.

“French fries?” she asked, unable to catch her breath. “You— You burnt frozen french fries? How long have they been in there? Two hours?”

Cassian looked behind him at the clock on the stove and rubbed the back of his neck. “I like them crispy.”

“Oh, they’re crispy,” Nesta promised, straightening her back, small bouts of laughter still finding their way out. “They’re really damn crispy.”

“Shut up,” he muttered, shaking his head. He pulled a series of paper towels off the stovetop and revealed a tray of chicken nuggets and a pot of cooked broccoli. “At least I didn’t burn everything.”

“Chicken nuggets and broccoli?” she asked, her grin still wide. “Kids barely old enough to eat solids and we’re already having kid dinners?”

“Kid dinners?” Cassian repeated. “You’re lying your ass off if you’re telling me that you don’t enjoy a big ass plate of chicken nuggets.”

Nesta laughed, shaking her head. “They’re dinosaur shaped!”

“The dino ones taste better!” Cassian protested.

“We’ll see about that,” Nesta said, and just as she looked up at Cassian, she realized how close he’d stopped from her.

He couldn’t have been more than a foot away, but he felt much closer.

Nesta’s laughter died down, although that light feeling in the pit of her stomach remained.

One of his hands was braced on the counter she leaned on, and though he wasn’t caging her in, she couldn’t help but stare up at him.

“At least it’s not breakfast again,” she murmured, noting the way he was staring at her, too.

“You’ve never complained about my breakfast,” he said, swallowing roughly.

She tracked the way his Adam’s Apple bobbed. “Well, you’ve never burnt it, so.”

The corner of his mouth twitched and she knew he was trying his hardest not to smile. He opened his mouth to reply, but Nyx started talking from the other room, babbling and nonsense and baby language reaching them.

Cassian seemed to realize how close he stood to her and backed up a step, clearing his throat. “If you want to grab him, I’ll put some fresh fries in the oven.”

Nodding, Nesta said, “Yeah, of course.”

“I’m making them crispy, though,” he said, as she left.

Nesta snorted as she shook her head and lifted Nyx out of his pack n play. “Your uncle is nuts. Yes, he is.”

Nyx’s grin melted Nesta’s heart.

Forty minutes later, once the french fries were sufficiently crispy, the three of them were sitting at the table, eating dinner. Nesta didn’t mind it, not one bit, the fact that they sat there every night and ate together.

It was almost as if they were a family.

An odd, dysfunctional, interestingly beautiful family.

#snacmc lawki #snacmc collabs #life as we know it #lawki #snelbz tacmc collab #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 12}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby's blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

* In case you missed the announcement - we will now be posting chapters 3 days a week! Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. We hope you continue to enjoy the story! 

** Trigger warning: Miscarriage. 

This chapter is legit a roller coaster, ngl. Enjoy. ;)

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Nesta stood in the living room of Elain’s house with Nyx on her hip, feeling guilty for dropping Nyx off for the night even though Elain was the one to offer. 

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Gives these little cousins some bonding time.” She reached out and took Nyx’s chubby little hand. “Besides, you and Cassian both need time to recoup.”

She wasn’t about to deny that. It had been a week since her not-date with Balthazar, a week since she and Cassian had uttered more than passing comments on how Nyx had acted throughout the day to each other.

Every time she looked at him, she found him already watching her and the fact got under her skin.

It became an unspoken thing that whenever she cooked dinner, she would make an extra helping and put it in the fridge for him. Not because she felt like she needed to, but because it made her feel better about their awkward arrangement. The longer time went on, the more she realized that as much as she’d been acting like taking care of Nyx together was a death sentence to her social life, he was going through the same thing.

And when she got home, she planned on making dinner for the two of them to share together. A sort of white flag of truce between them.

It was the least she could do. “Call me the second something happens-.”

“We’ll be fine,” Elain said, taking Nyx from Nesta and kissing her sister’s cheek. “Now, go. Relax. Take a bubble bath with some wine or something. Read one of those filthy books you used to hide in your closet.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed.

Elain’s smile widened.

After a tough goodbye, Nesta was heading toward her car and driving back home, making a quick stop at the grocery store just around the corner.

She quickly got all of her fixins, prepared to make one of her favorites - salmon, rice, and green beans. A glance at the calendar that morning told her he would probably be home around five, which gave her just under two hours to make dinner. Easily doable, she’d made three-course meals in less time, for much harsher customers.

Yet she couldn’t figure out why her stomach was in knots.

*

When Cassian came home, he opened the front door and froze. The quiet in the house unnerved him. Usually, there was some random white noise to fill the house, whether that was the television or one of Nyx’s inane toys that distracted him so well. But as he walked through the house, the TV wasn’t on and he couldn’t hear much of anything.

Until he heard a throat clear from the kitchen.

Instantly, Cassian was on alert, not liking the sound at all, recognizing who it had belonged to, but silently, he made his way into the kitchen.

Nesta was sitting at the table, a plate of food in front of her, with an identical one at the spot he typically sat in.

“What’s…going on?” He asked, slowly taking another few steps into the kitchen.

Nesta stood and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, before taking it back over to where he hovered between the table and the doorway. She held the cold bottle out to him. “This is a truce.”

“A tru-?” He took it, but shook his head, not quite understanding her. “Where’s Nyx?”

“He is having a sleepover with Seph, Elain and Azriel. Elain wanted us to have a night off,” she said, sitting back down at her seat. “So I made us dinner.”

“You made us dinner?” he repeated, staring at the plates. “For the two of us to have? Together? At the same table?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, unless you don’t want it.”

Cassian cleared his throat as he pulled the chair out across from her and popped open his beer. “I won’t turn down free food. Especially when it’s made by an expert.” 

Nesta said nothing more as she cut into her salmon. “An expert?”

“You get paid for cooking,” Cassian said, picking up his fork and collecting a pile of green beans. “That makes you an expert. A professional.”

“This is a lot of compliments,” she said, watching him carefully as he ate.

“Maybe I’m jumping on board with this whole truce thing,” he said, mouth full of food.

Nesta wanted to chastise him about his manners, but bit her tongue. “You weren’t on board with it to begin with?”

He chewed slowly and then set his fork down. “Neither of us have…handled this very well,” he admitted, taking a drink from his beer. “And I’m willing to take a portion of the blame, but not all of it.”

Nesta weighed his words carefully. They were blunt, but not untrue. Sure, he’d acted like an ass many times, but she had only responded in kind. She knew she could be a bitch, and she knew she did it well. Sometimes too well.

“For this to be an official truce,” she began, holding her wine glass in her hand, swirling it once, twice, “there has to be terms we both agree on.” His eyebrows raised, but she pressed on before he could speak. “Mine are that we have to communicate. When you get frustrated or pissed at me, you can’t just bottle everything up until it all explodes. And when I get overwhelmed, I promise not to snap at you or act like such a…”

“A bitch?” He provided, when she stumbled over her words, smiling around the beer bottle pressed to his lips.

She wasn’t able to stop the smile growing on her own face, as she said, “Thank you, asshole. But yes. Those are my terms.”

He took a drink and nodded. “Okay. I think I can handle those.”

“And what are your terms?” She asked, cutting into the flaky fish for another bite.

He was quiet for a moment, debating. Nesta took a sip from her wine glass while she waited, watching as thought after thought passed across his face.

“I want to get to know you,” he said, finally. “I want to know who you are and I want you to know me.”

Nesta cocked her head to the side. It was a simple request, but Nesta wasn’t exactly good at allowing people to get to know rher. “And how do you suppose we do that?”

“A simple conversation will do,” he said, shrugging. “Over salmon and alcohol. Mostly alcohol.” He reached across the small table and picked up her wine bottle, filling up her wine glass to the brim. 

“Getting me drunk so that I open up?” Nesta asked, sipping from that wine glass.

Cassian chuckled. “I would never.”

She watched her for a second, before taking another larger drink and setting it down. “Fine. Then it’s a truce.” He smirked, glancing over the table between them and then leaned over to look on the counter. “What?”

“I’m just looking for an official notice.” His smirk grew into an all out grin. “Something to sign. I figured you’d called up Tarquin and had some official documents written up.”

“You think you’re so funny.” She rolled her eyes and he chuckled, reaching an open hand across the table.

“Truce,” he said, taking her hand in his. They shook once, and Cassian was struck by how much smaller her hand was than his, yet by how firm her grip was. It was an impressive, professional handshake.

“So what do you want to know?” She asked, scooping some rice onto her fork and getting a bite of fish to go along with it.

His eyes narrowed as he thought about it and she began to wonder whether they should have laid down some boundaries. But he asked, “You went to the University of Velaris, right? What did you study there?”

Nesta blinked in surprise, not having expected the question. “Business and marketing.”

Chewing slowly, Cassian raised an eyebrow. “Nothing culinary?”

She shook her head. “No, I liked cooking, but I never thought it would become my career. I majored in business and marketing, with a minor in communications.”

“That sounds…” He fought for the words for a second. “Boring.”

Taking a drink of her wine, Nesta chuckled. “Oh, it was,” she admitted. “The longest four years of my life, but I’ve got the pretty, little diploma with my name written on it to show for them.”

“And how did you learn about food? How to cook?”

She shrugged. “I taught myself. I graduated college and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I got a data entry job at a marketing firm and spent my free time in the kitchen, trying and testing and tasting.” She paused, and her eyes fell to her plate. “Before my dad died, he listened to my idea about starting a small restaurant, with a few of my favorite recipes on the menu. He left me the money to do it in his will.”

“And now?” he pressed, although his voice held a certain gentleness. “Are you successful and thriving?”

Nesta snorted. “I make enough to live and pay the few of servers I have. If that’s successful, then I suppose.”

Cassian nodded in appreciation. “I’d say it is. What about the future? Bigger restaurant? Multiple restaurants?” 

“Someday,” Nesta said, with a longing in her voice. “And what about you? And your guitars? Surely you don’t want to be a bartender forever.”

Cassian shrugged. “I don’t mind the bartending. Good tips and I meet a lot of interesting people.”

“But?” Nesta asked. 

“But,” Cassian repeated, huffing a laugh. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t exactly say that managing a bar is my passion.” 

“So, guitars then?” Nesta asked, brow raised. “You’re really talented. Your guitars are beautiful.”

Cassian’s eyes shot to hers, wide as he slowly set down his fork. “Holy shit, did you just compliment me?”

Nesta’s lips pursed as she kicked his shin under the table.

“I’ve always been good with my hands. Not like that,” he said, pointing at her when he saw the smirk growing. “I mean, creating things, playing instruments, even something as mundane as making drinks. If it’s something I can do with my hands, I typically love it and nine times out of ten, I’m good at it.” There was none of the cockiness she’d come to know in his voice. Just pure explanation, and a bit of devotion. “I’ve tried my hand at making furniture and little knickknacks, but there’s nothing that compares to building an instrument from scratch.”

“And you do it all? Yourself?” She asked, taking another bite.

He nodded. “I start with a few rough pieces of wood. Sand it, stain it, and boom, brand new guitar.”

Snorting, she lifted her wine glass to her lips. “I think you may have missed a few steps in there.”

“Well, I didn’t want to bore you,” he chuckled.

“How long have you been playing guitar?” Nesta asked, finishing off the last of her food.

Cassian took a minute to think about it, then shrugged, finishing off his beer. “As long as I can remember. I grew up with my mom in Illyria. They live simply up there. Music is…a way of life. It grew on me quickly. Mom bought me my first guitar that a friend of hers had made before I could even walk.”

Nesta chuckled, quietly. “Just like you did for Nyx.”

Cassian nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. Another drink?” he asked, nodding toward her emptied glass.

“Sure,” she said. “But, wine is gone. I think there’s some tequila in the cabinet.”

Cassian lifted a brow as he rose. “Tequila?”

Nesta grinned as he went to the cabinet. “Make me a drink, bartender?”

Cassian laughed as he grabbed the glass bottle from the cabinet. “I can. What’ll it be? Tequila sunrise? Margarita? Pretty sure we have some lime juice, somewhere.”

“I’m not picky,” Nesta promised.

She heard him laugh. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing that, Archeron.”

“Only where it counts,” she replied, smiling at him. She picked up their empty plates and rinsed them off, loading them into the dishwasher. Turning, she found him setting a shot glass with salt on the rim down on the counter. She chuckled. “That’s not what I asked for.”

“First of all, you technically didn’t ask for anything in particular,” he said, pointing at her as he crossed the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Secondly, this is the most classic drink I can make you with tequila. It’s the oldest recipe in the books.”

She outright laughed. “That’s cause it’s just straight tequila.”

“Exactly,” he grinned and damn it, if her heart didn’t skip a beat. “I lied, no lime juice.”

“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms. “But if I’m doing sloppy shots, you’re joining me.”

“Oh, I never say no to shots,” he said, grabbing another from the cabinet. 

He filled them up, and slid one to Nesta, who took the glass in her hand and held it up.

Cassian clinked his against hers, and they tossed them back. 

Nesta’s face didn’t change a bit, and Cassian met her steady eyes. “Impressive.” 

“Not my first tequila shot, Nazari,” she said, hopping up to sit on the counter. “What else do you want to ask me?”

He leaned down on the countertop, letting his arms lay flat. “Hmm.” He let his fingers drum quietly. “What did you want to be when you grew up? Or was it always a chef?”

She scrunched up her nose. “I was convinced I was going to be a doctor, I wanted to help people. But then I found out how many years of school was required to be a doctor. So I decided I wanted to be a nurse.”

Cassian carefully poured a couple more shots. “And what happened to that dream?”

“I found out that the sight of blood makes me queasy. Sometimes I throw up, sometimes I pass out.”

He laughed. “That seems like enough to throw off a career plan.”

“Yep,” she admitted, picking her wine glass up.

Cassian filled up the shot glasses, once more, and slid hers back to her. She set down her wine glass and snorted as she tossed it back.

“You know what we should do?” Nesta asked, and Cassian lifted a brow in question. “Go for a swim. We’ve been here over a month and have yet to use the pool that I’ve been cleaning, daily.”

Cassian took his shot before watching her, closely. “Last one in has to share their deepest, darkest secret.”

Nesta scoffed. “What are we, children?”

Cassian grinned as he pushed himself back from the counter. “Scared of a little competition? Afraid to lose?”

They stared at each other in silence for a minute before Nesta jumped off the counter, and ran up the stairs to throw on her swimsuit.

Cassian and his heavy footsteps were close behind.

It took her a few minutes to remember where her swimsuits had been packed, and from the slamming of drawers down the hall, it seemed Cassian was in a similar predicament. She finally found a two piece stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer, not exactly what she had been looking for, and hesitated before stripping down and pulling the bottoms on. Nesta was out her bedroom door before she even had the top fully tied, pulling it into a hastily tied bow behind her back. Her feet carried her as she flew down the stairs, but she froze when she opened the sliding glass door and found him already in the water.

He grinned from where he had his muscular arms resting on the side of the pool, and his hair was soaked, pushed back off of his face. With the wide smile on his face, he looked so much younger, almost boyish.

With a sigh, Nesta turned and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a couple beers in each hand and made her way back onto the lit up patio.

“I win,” he said, smirking up at her.

The tongue she stuck out at him wasn’t her most quick witted response, but she was trying not to let her eyes drift beneath the water. When she suggested the pool, she hadn’t been thinking of how much skin would be on display, for either of them.

“That’s because you only had one piece to put on,” Nesta said, sitting near him by the edge and handing him a drink.

“Hey, if you only wanted to put on one of those pieces, I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he protested, and Nesta had to hide the way his suggestive tone, those words, made her blush. 

He didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he popped open his beer and took a long, slow drink.

“So how about that secret?” He asked, voice lowering. 

“Hmmm,” she crooned, tapping her chin. “Which to share when I have so many to choose from?”

Cassian chuckled. “You would have an endless string of secrets. Come on, what skeletons are in your closet? Something you’ve never told anyone else.”

Nesta had a lot of those, too. She wasn’t exactly the “open” type.

There was one true secret she kept though. One that no one else had known, not even Feyre or Elain. Just her and…

She hesitated and he looked up at her, caught the look on her face. “What?”

Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t want to kill the mood.”

The hand holding the bottle was right next to her thigh, and he let his pinky skim over her skin. “That kind of secret, huh?”

She gnawed into her lip, nodding.

“I’ll tell you mine, if it helps,” Cassian said, looking up into her face.

She slipped into the pool, thankful the water was warm, and shook her head. “That wasn’t our agreement.”

He stayed quiet, letting her process her own thoughts.

Sinking beneath the water, Nesta re-emerged, slicking her hair back. After a steadying breath, she said, “I’m sure you remember Tomas, my ex who interrupted our date?”

The mention of their date surprised Cassian, after so many weeks of them dancing around it. He nodded.

“We were together for a long time, you know? All through college.” She wasn’t looking at him, wouldn’t meet his eye. “I got pregnant just after our senior year. I had never wanted kids, you know? Wasn't the family type, at all. Never saw myself having a family. Anyway,” she continued, shaking her head. “It didn’t matter. I miscarried.”

Cassian continued to look at her, continued to watch as she stared blankly ahead. 

“I got excited about it, too, which is ridiculous,” she went on. “For a moment, for those few weeks that I thought Tomas and I would be starting a family… I actually got excited.”

“How far along were you?” He asked, gently.

She answered immediately, with no hesitation. “Thirteen weeks. It was like one day I was pregnant, carrying our child and the next… The baby was gone.” She was quiet for a moment. “I woke up one morning and there was blood, so much blood. Tom was already at work, so I drove myself to the hospital, but there was nothing they could do.”

Cassian recognized the slow blinking, knew she was reliving those slow, sad moments again.

“I was dying inside, trying to come to terms with the fact that our baby was gone, and Tomas got home and-.” She took a deep breath and looked over at him. “He asked what I was making for dinner. He didn’t even acknowledge that our child was gone and… l guess that’s when I decided to do the same. To pretend nothing happened. We didn’t really talk much about it. We never told our families, I never told Feyre or Elain. Our father died about a month later and it all seemed so insignificant at that point. But Tom and I never recovered, our relationship at least. We broke up a few months later and…” Nesta shrugged. “Life kept going. I decided to open my restaurant and never looked back.”

“I’m sorry,” Cassian said, quietly.

She finally looked at him and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t make it any less painful of a memory,” he countered.

She just nodded. “It’s how it was supposed to be though, right? Wasn't meant to be.”

Cassian took another drink as he nodded, slowly.

“Anyway,” she began, clearing her throat before dunking herself back down under the water.

“Would you like my secret?” He asked, when she turned and rested her arms on the edge of the pool.

She shrugged. “If you feel so inclined. You didn’t lose the bet.”

He leaned back, letting his arms drape across the edge of the pool as well. “When I was eighteen, I broke my back. I decided to take a year off before I started school, and was working construction over the summer to save money. I wanted to travel for a while. But then I took a bad fall off a roof. I spent two weeks in the hospital and then was stuck in my bed for another ten. And Rhys and Az stayed by my side the whole time. They put off their last hoorah vacations before they went off to college to stay with me.”

Nesta’s eyes drifted to Cassian, drops falling from her lashes. “Doesn’t seem like a secret if people know about it.” 

“You didn’t know,” he shot back.

Nesta smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Fair. That sounds awful.”

“It was,” he agreed. “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I don’t like to stay still for very long.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Nesta said, a little spark returning to her eye. “It was torture,” he followed, finishing off his drink. “Not being able to move. I played so many damn board games that I never want to look at one ever again.”

“Even if Nyx asks?” Nesta inquired.

Cassian gave her a lopsided grin. “Well, he’s the exception.” Nesta laughed, and Cassian shook his head. “I’d do anything for that kid. I think Rhys knew that, when he named me godfather.”

She understood that, related to it completely. Especially considering they had been named godparents together, regardless of their mutual distaste for the other. Their love for Nyx, for Rhys and Feyre, had been evident to everyone.

“I miss him,” she admitted, resting her cheek on the concrete. “I know it’s only one night, and I’m beyond appreciative, but… It’s weird not having him right inside.”

He nodded. “I get it. I do, too. I know Az and Elain can take care of him, and I’m sure he had a blast with Seph before they went to bed, but it hasn’t stopped me worrying about him.”

Nesta nodded, stretching her back. She took a drink from her beer. “Did you ever want kids of your own?”

He blew out a harsh breath and drained his own bottle before answering. “I never really considered it much, when I was younger. After my back healed, I was so focused on getting back to life that relationships and dating weren’t high on my priority list-.”

“But fucking was?” Nesta asked, smirking.

He rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly with a shoulder. “Maybe I was interested in sex more than relationships, I’ll admit. But before I knew it, my early twenties had come and gone. Everyone I knew was getting married and had babies on the way and… I was still the one living the bachelor life and decided to just run with it.”

“I get that,” Nesta agreed. “After…everything that happened with Tomas, I never wanted that again. My date with you and my date with Balthazar are the only two proper dates I’ve been on since college.”

Cassian lifted a brow. “And have you been on any improper dates?”

Nesta didn’t answer. Instead, her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she finished off her beer.

Cassian’s grin widened. “I never knew you were such a freak, Archeron.”

“Oh, fuck off,” she muttered, which just made him laugh harder. 

“I must admit, it’s nice to hear you talking about our infamous date so often tonight,” Cassian said, pulling himself out of the pool.

Nesta couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles flexed, how the drops of water streamed down his back, between his shoulders, down to his waistline and the swim trunks, which rode low on his hips. She cleared her throat. “I didn’t say anything nice about that date, did I?”

“Absolutely not, but is there really anything nice to say?” he asked, sliding the screen door open. “I mean, you were an absolute nightmare.”

She gawked after him as he went inside, and once he came back with a small pyramid of beer cans, Nesta said, “I was a nightmare? You were a complete disaster!”

He scoffed, setting the cans down and cannon balling back into the pool. Even though she was already in the water, Nesta couldn’t help the squeal that left her. Cassian was grinning when he came up for air. “I forgot my wallet. I fully intended to pay you back, both monetarily and with the best sex you’d ever had in your life, but you decided to get huffy, stomp back to your front door and slam it in my face.”

“Oh, please,” Nesta said, reaching for a can and popping it’s top. Foam erupted from the opening and she put her mouth to it before it could drip into the pool. “You were over twenty minutes late, you wore work boots and a leather jacket to the nicest restaurant in Velaris, and we ran into your fuck buddy.” She drank deeply from the can, emptying it in one go. “As for the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, I’ve become very accustomed to and am just fine with my own hand, so you’re going to have to try pretty hard to do better than I myself can.”

She wiggled her fingers in his face and before she could register what was happening, his hand was wrapped around her own. As if he didn’t already know that. Cassian had caught her getting herself off in the bathtub, a memory that was seared into both of their heads. He tugged her closer and the empty can fell from her hands, floating on top of the water.

“I was talking about the past, sweetheart, but you seem to be talking about the present,” he breathed as her chest brushed against his own. “Who says my offer still stands all these years later?”

“You’d be a fool not to make that offer,” she breathed, and she knew the scent of beer was all he was breathing in. 

“And would you accept it if I were?” he asked, one hand still wrapped around hers, the other snaking its way around her waist. “Still offering?” 

Nesta’s breath hitched as their mouths grew so close, too close, close enough to reach out and taste his lips with a brush of her tongue.

It was tempting.

It would be stupid. Alcohol fogging her brain or not, Nesta knew it would be stupid.

But it was tempting, and in that moment, there were very few things Nesta could think about other than his hands against her skin, his lips a breadth width away from her own, and his cock she could very prominently feel twitching against her thigh. 

Nesta’s lips brushed softly against his as she said, “Try and find out.” 

#nessian #snacmc #snacmc lawki #modern au #lawki #fanfic #fanfiction #sjm #acotar #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 13}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

THIS CHAPTER IS 18+.

As soon as her lips brushed against his, the fragile, tenuous hold Cassian had on himself snapped. He released the hand he’d been holding and both of his hands found her backside, grabbing and kneading as his lips met hers again. Nesta’s arms snaked around his neck and she lifted herself, bobbing in the water as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

There was so little between them, and as he pressed her back against the wall of the pool, she could feel all of him pressing against her core. He ground himself against her and she tore her lips from his to gasp softly.

Nesta’s blue-grey eyes were wide, wild and glazed, and Cassian pressed his hips into her own again, just to hear that gasp again. He wasn’t expecting the quiet whimper that accompanied it, but it made him repeat the action again and again, until her head was thrown back and her eyes fluttered shut.

“Feel good, already?” Cassian muttered, nipping at her ear. “I haven’t even begun with you yet.”

Nesta’s nails dug into his back as their mouths met, hungry and untamed.

He slid his tongue between her lips, feeling her teeth as they clashed against his. She clung to him as if her life depended on it, and Cassian didn’t mind it, not one bit.

There were countless words Cassian had come up with throughout the years to describe Nesta Archeron: cold, heartless, manipulative, cruel, demeaning, stuck up, cunning, bitch, hot as hell.

But he never imagined she would be promiscuous, devastating, experienced, completely and utterly wild.

Sexy as hell.

As if to taunt him, to prove him wrong, one of her arms slipped from where it wrapped around his shoulders, her nails dragging softly as it went, and she snaked it down between their bodies. Cassian hissed against her lips as she cupped him in her hand and squeezed lightly. She did it again and he pulled his lips from hers again, unable to stop the quiet groan from tumbling from him.

“You like that?” Nesta whispered, as his brow fell against hers. She gazed up into his heavy-lidded gaze. His eyes were glazed, from the alcohol or the lust, she couldn’t tell, and she didn’t care. Not as he nodded.

“You have no idea.” His tone was breathy, gravely, ragged in a way she’d never heard, but wanted to hear again and again. She wondered what her name would sound like if he said it like that.

Letting her hand slide into his swim trunks, she gripped his cock in her hands, squeezing once at the base.

His eyes slid shut and Nesta could have sworn he shivered slightly. She doubted it had anything to do with the warm water they were in.

“And that?” She asked, pumping once. “Do you like that?”

“Tease,” he breathed.

“Is that a complaint?” she asked, beginning to take her hand away.

“Hell no,” he said, lids fluttering open until his eyes met hers.

She watched him, lips parted, completely compulsed by his expressions alone. “Good,” she said, taking him in her hand and pumping, slowly, over and over again.

A low groan came from the depths of Cassian’s throat. He cursed. He said her name.

Nesta’s hand moved quicker, which only made Cassian’s hips move.

Nesta opened her mouth for a snarky comment, but she didn’t get the chance as Cassian took a handful of her hair and pulled her head back, his lips instantly finding the most sensitive part of her neck.

He nipped with his teeth.

Nesta gasped.

A hand gripped her breast and pinched a nipple, at the same time his teeth bit down softly on the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

It only made her grip him harder as she gasped again, and he breathed her name again.

Moving the fabric of her top to the side, his hand covered her breast. He found the nipple he’d just pinched, gently squeezing it between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it softly.

Her head fell back completely, regardless of the hand still buried in her hair, and she stroked him quicker, loving the feeling of his cock in her hand.

She knew she would love having it other places even more.

His lips found her neck again, and as she breathed his name, he let go of her hair, wrapping his hand around hers as she continued to stroke his cock.

“If you keep doing that, you’re going to ruin your fun,” he warned, even as his own hand tightened over hers and he slowed her hand down by just a hair. Showing her exactly how he liked it.

Rough. Hard. And slow.

Her eyes connected with his.

Cassian slowed Nesta’s hand to a halt, and he gave her a long, slow kiss before whispering, “How do you like it, Nesta?”

She didn’t hesitate. “I think you already know.”

“Is that so?”

“Try me.”

Cassian took her hips in his hands and lifted her onto the side of the pool. Thanks to the depth of the pool, he hardly had to lower himself as he pulled her bikini aside and admired her smooth, pink sex. He slid his tongue between her folds, slowly, tauntingly.

He wrapped a hand around one of her thighs and kept her legs spread for him as he teased her with his tongue. Nesta had to stop her head tipping back, had to fight to keep her eyes open as she gazed down at him. The sight of his head between her legs, of his mouth on her… It was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen.

She could also see past him, into the water, where he fisted himself, pumping in time with the stroke of his tongue. Nesta’s hand moved of its own accord as she reached, gripping her breast, and tugging on her peaked nipple. She let a quiet moan fall from her lips and Cassian’s eyes opened and took her in.

He watched her closely as he dragged his tongue up her center and then let it gently drift over her clit. The moan was a bit louder.

He did it again and again, over and over, adding pressure with each pass until he was flicking it, and she was a writhing, moaning mess. Her back was pressed against the unforgiving concrete beneath her and her hand was gripping Cassian’s wet hair.

She swore, and it seemed to set fire to Cassian because he took her clit into his lips and sucked, refusing to be gentle.

“Cass-Cassian,” she begged, as he sucked her in, and in, and in again.

She knew Cassian had been with plenty of women, but the amount of skill he had with his mouth was mesmerizing. Her knees were weak, her heart pounding, her mind unable to form any sort of thought.

“Take me,” she begged. “Take me to bed.”

Cassian leaned back, and met her gaze. She was breathing hard, her bare breasts rising and falling as her chest heaved. “You’re sure?” he asked.

Nesta laughed, her eyes wild. “You can’t take me this far and not take me all the way.”

He was pulling himself out of the pool before she’d barely finished her sentence, taking her hands and helping her to her feet. Water dripped from his trunks, but he barely acknowledged it as he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up again, her legs instinctually wrapping around him. They’d been in this position only a few minutes before. Except this time, there was nothing between them and his cock easily slid between her folds. She whimpered as her lips found his again.

His knees nearly buckled from the slick heat of her, but they didn’t and he carried her into the house.

Nesta’s back found the wall as Cassian paused to grind himself against her wetness more times than she could and by the time he was dropping her onto her bed, they had both lost their swimsuits at some point throughout the house. She looked up at him as he stood at the end of the bed, his cock jutting out proudly.

Biting her bottom lip, Nesta decided she liked looking at that cock.

He climbed over her, his eyes never leaving hers. He leaned down and kissed her, softly, then kissed her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. Then, he was looking at her again, his eyes searching hers for any sort of protest.

There were none.

He leaned down against her, his body covering hers, and whispered, “I’ve dreamt of this.”

Her toes curled from the sound of his tone alone, and the anticipation only increased as his body met hers.

“Condom,” he whispered, between his kisses.

“I’m covered,” she promised.

His nose brushed hers, and he took her hands into his.

“Fuck me,” she breathed.

He didn’t need to be told twice. Cassian pressed the head of his cock into her sex and waited before pushing himself, slowly, into her.

She gasped, her eyelids fluttering shut as he fell into her.

It felt like an eternity before he was seated to the hilt and Nesta felt like she was going to combust. His lips found her neck again and one of his hands trailed along her hip and down her thigh until it hooked behind her knee and hitched her leg up around him. Without moving, he let her adjust, let her get used to the fullness inside of her. Cassian worshipped her neck, kissing, nipping and licking up the column of her throat until he reached her face, tilting her face to his own so he could press a kiss to her lips.

Whispering, he asked, “You okay?”

Her eyes slowly opened and Nesta nodded, lost for words. She kissed him, softly at first, tugging his bottom lip between her teeth a moment later. With a groan, Cassian flexed his hips, just barely. It was enough to make Nesta gasp again, that slight movement, and her head fell back against the pillows.

“Again,” she begged. “Please.”

He obeyed, pulling out a fraction and pushing back in. Again and again, he pulled out and pushed back in, farther each time.

Nesta clung to him, her eyes closed, one hand on his back, the other woven into his hair.

He didn’t hold back.

He thrust into her, again and again, each time becoming more and more natural.

Cassian couldn’t believe this is what he was missing five years before. She was perfect, ethereal. And he fit inside of her as easily as a puzzle piece - a piece he had been missing for years and years and years.

His lips found hers and he felt her nails digging into his back, clinging to him with everything she had in her. Her legs wrapped around his waist, changing the angle allowing him to go deeper, deeper, deeper-.

Nesta moaned into his mouth, release already building in her harder than she’d ever felt. When this orgasm hit, it was going to reorient the universe, throw the planets out of alignment. She felt like she was burning from the inside out, the feel of him pounding into her reigniting her with every thrust.

Soon there was nothing but the sound of their breathing, their occasional moans and groans, and the sound of skin slapping skin.

With a shift of his hips, Cassian thrust in at a slightly different angle, and suddenly Nesta was seeing stars. Her lips tore from his and she called out his name, her release slamming into her. Her back arched off the bed and Cassian wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her body to his. As her walls tightened around him, he moaned into her the valley of her breasts. He continued to pound into her mercilessly, letting her ride out her high, only slowing his thrusts when her breathing settled out and her cries of pleasure became soft whimpers.

He kissed a path up from chest, over her jaw, and to her lips. Her eyes were still shut tightly, but at the feeling of his lips on hers, they fluttered open, glazed over her with lust and her orgasm.

He smirked and was just about to make a snide comment about how sex drunk she looked when she rolled their bodies, catching him off guard.

His cock was still nestled deep inside her and at the shock written on his face, she gave him a smirk as sensual as his own had been.

And then Nesta slowly began to rock her hips.

Cassian’s eyes fluttered shut, his mouth falling open, lost for words. He held onto her waist, his hands massive against her slim figure.

“Nesta,” he pleaded.

She obliged.

As she began to bounce atop him, her fingers grazed his chest. Cassian cursed, a completely filthy word falling from his mouth, which only drove Nesta mad.

She quickened her pace, nails digging into his chest, her head thrown back.

Cassian had never seen such a beautiful sight.

He did his best to hold still, to let her lead, which was easier said than done, but he bent his knees slightly, letting her lean back. The action spread her legs open wider, and Cassian let his gaze linger as it trailed down her body. Licking his thumb, he pressed it to her clit, groaning nearly at the same time as her when she clenched down on his length tightly.

He couldn’t stop himself from thrusting up into her and she cried out, leaning down and crashing her lips to his.

It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It wasn’t tender or like anything he’d ever imagined Nesta Archeron to be during sex. It was rough and primal and their teeth clashed as they both grappled to be in control.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding in place as he snapped his hips into hers again and again.

She wrenched her lips away, resting her brow against his. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered.

“Are you gonna come for me again?” He breathed, keeping his relentless pace.

She nodded, momentarily forgetting how to use words.

“And are you close?” He asked, his voice practically a growl.

“Yes,” she replied, frantically nodding. “Cassian, please.”

He let a hand slip down to cup her rear and, in time with his thrust, he swiftly pulled it away.

It came down against her skin with smack! as he snapped his hips back into her.

Her eyes flared wide open and for eyes flared wide open and for the second time in minutes, release barreled into Nesta and she damn near screamed his name. She was sitting back up and riding him before she’d even come down from her orgasm, her hips bucking, hands pressed to his chest.

Cassian tucked a hand behind his head as he enjoyed the view.

Nesta’s hips slowed as she crashed back into herself, her head dropping as she caught her breath. He leaned forward, tipping her head towards his face and tucking her loose hair behind an ear.

She was still panting slightly when her eyebrows furrowed and she asked, “Have you come yet?”

He smirked, flexing his hips, making his cock twitch where it still sat, rock hard inside of her. “Nope.” He sat up, meeting her with a surprisingly gentle kiss. “Best sex of your life, remember?”

“You’re such a cocky asshole,” she breathed, her chest still rising and falling heavily.

Cassian grinned and kissed her mouth, yet again. Nesta fell into that kiss as she slowly began to rock her hips, back and forth.

Cassian groaned into her lips as his arms tightened around her.

It was completely intimate.

Sex could be a lot of things, and they’d both had plenty of sexual encounters that required zero intimacy at all.

But this?

It was intimate. And for a moment, it was gentle, romantic, beautiful as their lips moved slowly with one another’s, Cassian holding Nesta in his arms, Nesta’s hips rocking in slow, careful rotations.

Their mingled breaths were the only sound in the room as Nesta pulled back to look at Cassian. There was some emotion in his eyes, something she couldn’t quite name as she rode him, but it made her feel like she was stripped bare. She felt like he could see all of her, everything she’d ever buried and hidden deep inside, and wasn’t afraid of it. It was intense and overwhelming and the weight of that look, of his stare, had her body feel like it was overheating.

He whispered her name, and her toes curled as his head fell back, his lips parted, his eyes falling shut.

Nesta reached up and raked her fingers through his hair, still wet from the pool, the sweat.

“Cassian,” she whispered, and Cassian slowly met her gaze. She didn’t have to say anything more, he could see the plea in her eyes.

Best sex ever? Give it to me.

With a low growl, Cassian gripped her hips and flipped her around. He climbed up over her and brushed her hair aside before kissing the side of her neck, and down her shoulder, her back, her ass.

He spread her legs wide and licked her sex, just once, before kneeling between her legs and grabbing her hips.

As he plunged into her in one harsh thrust, Nesta couldn’t help the scream of pleasure that tore from her, muffled, thanks to her face being buried in the blankets. This was nothing like the sweet, sensual sex of moments before. No, this was ravaging and primal and different. Not bad, because she was almost sure there could be no bad sex with Cassian, but as his hips snapped into hers again and again, she couldn’t help but feel like this was a claiming.

A claiming she was damn near ready to give herself over to.

Suddenly, she felt his thrusts getting sloppier, the smooth pace he’d kept up the whole night becoming more and more erratic. Even the quiet grunts and groan of pleasure that had been falling from his mouth were louder, more defined, and the sound of her name on his lips was her undoing.

She shattered.

Her vision went black as she was taken into a pure state of nirvana. She could hear herself whimpering, could hear Cassian’s own sounds as he came, but it all sounded far away.

Far away from the paradise Nesta had entered.

It took a moment for her to come back, for her to become aware of her surroundings, for her to realize that Cassian’s hands were still on her hips, his cock still buried deep inside her, as his heavy breathing, matched with her own, filled the silence.

For a moment, neither of them moved, neither of them said a thing.

He slowly pulled out, running a gentle hand over the curve of her ass. She felt, rather than saw, their mixed releases dripping down her thighs, out of her swollen sex. She knew he was watching though, taking the sight in, and her face heated.

Nesta was about to get up, to rush into the bathroom and shut the door in his face, when he murmured, “Stay there, I’ll be right back.”

He climbed off of the bed, striding into the attached bathroom, and she heard the water running in the sink. A moment later, he returned and he ran a warm, wet washcloth over the back of her thighs, cleaning up their mess. Brushing it along her sex, he wiped away what was left of it there as well, before he tossed it back into the bathroom. It landed over the edge of the bathtub with a slap!

Nesta’s face still burned, but she let her hips sink into the bed at last, and glanced up at him. Her blush had nothing to do with the fact that he’d cleaned her up, something none of her past partners had bothered to do, and everything to do with the fact that he was still as naked as she was.

Cassian opened his mouth to say something, then shut his mouth, once again. Nesta was in a similar position...she had no idea what to say.

“So-.” they both began at the same time, then chuckled, uncomfortably.

“Goodnight, then,” Nesta blurted, at last.

Cassian blinked, then hesitated. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, goodnight.”

He took a step back, wondering if she would ask him to stay, but she didn’t. She pulled the covers up to hide her body as he took another step back.

Then another.

And another.

Nesta said nothing.

So Cassian repeated, “Goodnight.”

He crossed the hall and as soon as he was out of the room, he could hear the mattress shifting and her feet hitting the floor. His mind raced as he went into his own room and carefully shut the door behind him, leaning back against it, running his hands through his hair.

He took a breath, letting his head fall back against the wood. He wasn’t really sure what had just happened.

One minute, they’d agreed to a truce, the next he’d been eating her out on the side of the pool, her hands knotted in his hair.

He had no idea how they’d gotten there, had no idea how they’d ended up in her bed, or how he’d ended up buried deep inside of her.

All he knew is that he had a feeling things were about to get very, very complicated.

#snacmc lawki #lawki #life as we know it #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 9}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: SURPRISE. Enjoy this chapter a day early. I had my days wrong and legit thought it was Thursday, but since it was ready…. Y’all get to enjoy the spoils of my frazzled brain. 😘

Nesta waited with Nyx in the waiting room of the pediatric office.

His rash didn’t seem to be bothering him much, but she wanted to get ahead of it before it became a problem. He was absolutely enamored with the TV playing a bright children’s show in the corner, and Nesta couldn’t help but smile down at him as she checked her email.

The usual stuff greeted her, some open catering order invoices for the restaurant, a few wayward resumes from high school kids that had managed to get her personal email, and, of course, spam.

“Nyx?”

Nesta’s head shot up, and Nyx began looking around, wondering who had called his name. Nesta was instantly on her feet, pushing Nyx’s stroller toward the door that the nurse held open.

She smiled. “Hello, Nyx.”

Nyx babbled in greeting.

The nurse chuckled. “Such a cute little guy. You’re Nesta, I assume?”

“I am,” Nesta confirmed. “I’ve not been here before. It’s a nice office.”

The small talk went on. Nesta had never been a fan of small talk, of polite pleasantries.

It just made her feel awkward.

Nyx didn’t seem to mind. He just kept babbling and babbling and babbling, without a care in the world.

The nurse led them into a room and she checked Nyx’s height and weight before telling them that the doctor would be there shortly.

Nesta had picked Nyx up, looking around at all the educational posters on the walls, when a quick knock sounded on the door and a man cracked open the door.

Nesta blinked once as he stepped inside, not expecting the tall, muscled man that appeared in front of her.

“You must be Nesta,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Kamaras.”

This man was Nyx’s pediatrician? She had known that Nyx’s doctor was male, Feyre had mentioned him in some stories a few times, but Nesta had always pictured an elderly man.

Not this sculpted, handsome man, who could easily graced the cover of one of the ridiculous smutty books she kept well hidden in her bedroom.

She shook his hand, finally remembering how to speak. “Yes, I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

Very nice to meet you, she added in her head.

His face sombered. “I was very sorry to hear about Rhys and Feyre. They were great people.”

And just like that, Nesta was back on earth, holding her sister’s son in her arms, standing where her sister should have been. She tried to keep her smiling from dimming, but she cleared her throat. “Thank you. It’s…been an adjustment.”

As if they both remembered why they were here, Dr. Karamas blinked and said, “Yes, Nyx, right. You told the nurse he has a rash of some sort?”

“It’s just a diaper rash but it seems to be getting infected,” Nesta explained. “I’ve tried a few different things but nothing seems to be working.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “Well, let’s take a look.”

Dr. Karamas took one glance and whistled. “Definitely infected. I’m going to give you a steroid cream. Put it on after every diaper change. It should clear up within the week.”

Nesta let loose a breath. “Oh, great, thank you.”

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

He had a nice smile.

He scribbled something down on his clipboard, signed it, and handed it to Nesta. “The number on the bottom is my office number. If you have any other concerns, no matter how small, give it a call.”

Nesta looked at Nyx’s prescription and the number that was beneath it, along with his name.

Balthazar Karamas.

“Thank you, Dr. Karamas,” Nesta said, and she meant it. She was still new at this, and every little medical thing concerned her.

If it wasn’t normal, she was freaking the fuck out.

“Bal, please,” he said, taking her hand again, shaking it. At the look on her face, he added, “I work with kids. They do better on a familiar name basis than with titles like doctor and mister.”

She nodded, smiling. “Bal, then.”

Nesta was getting Nyx resituated in his stroller in the waiting room, about to head back out into the bright sunlight, when she felt someone approach. She wasn’t expecting to find Balthazar standing a few feet away. She quickly checked the stroller, making sure she had her purse, the diaper bag, and, of course, Nyx himself. “Did I forget something?” She asked, finding everything exactly where it was supposed to be.

“No, no, it’s not that,” he said, pausing in front of her. “I just…can’t shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere.”

It was strange, since Nesta felt the same way.

“You’re not Illyrian,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, nor was it rude. Just an assumption. She only knew of a few other Illyrians in the area, and Balthazar definitely had the same coloring as Cassian and Az. And Rhys used to have. She, pale skinned and blue eyed, certainly did not.

“I’m not,” she said, at last.

Bal chuckled.

That smile, yet again, had her toes curling.

“Interesting,” he said, that smile remaining. “Well, maybe we can figure out just where we’ve run into each other before...over lunch this weekend?”

Nesta blinked. A date?

“Not a date,” he said, quickly, reading her mind. “I would never ask the aunt of my patient on a date. That would be incredibly unprofessional.” Nesta laughed. “Just…two acquaintances figuring out where they were previously acquainted.”

“Lunch sounds nice,” Nesta said, unable to shake her own smile. “Saturday, then?”

“Saturday,” Bal agreed.

They set up a time and place and then Nesta was out the door.

*

Cassian’s day had been as long as it was the day before. It seemed that the teenagers visiting Velaris had gotten the message from their friends that Cassian’s bar was checking every single ID of every single drink that was ordered. So instead of being slammed and busy and frustrated the whole day, he had been bored out of his mind.

He’d gone through his inventory sheets twice, ordering anything they might remotely run out of in the next few weeks.

It didn’t help that Kallias had the day off, covering the evening shift tonight, leaving him alone with his thoughts all day.

And those thoughts constantly reminded him that he’d been an absolute dick to Nesta the night before.

As he drove home, he contemplated the apology he needed to make.

Although Cassian believed his intentions were typically good, apologizing wasn’t one of his strengths. He ran through what he’d say a hundred times, had come up with an unbearable amount of ways in which he could apologize, but everything he thought of wasn’t good enough.

He knew Nesta well enough to know when she would laugh in his face.

He’d come up with about fifteen different scenarios of how this could go by the time he pulled into the driveway, parking next to her little car. He took a deep breath before unlocking the front door and letting himself in.

The house was quiet, neither Nesta or Nyx were anywhere to be found. It was barely six-thirty, but he knew Nesta was taking Nyx to the doctor earlier in the day, which may have tired him out so thoroughly that he was already down for the night. A peek into his cracked bedroom door confirmed it, his little hand curled next his face as he slept.

When he finally tracked down Nesta, on the back patio, her feet propped up in a lounge chair, he definitely hadn’t expected to find her with a bottle of wine. Or what was left of it, at least.

The mostly empty bottle of wine sat next to the baby monitor.

He cleared his throat, announcing his presence.

Nesta’s sigh was the only acknowledgement she showed.

“Everything alright?” He asked.

She shrugged and took a sip from her glass.

“Bad day?” He continued.

She shrugged again.

“Is this the silent treatment?” He asked.

“I assume you’d know,” she said.

Cassian began rubbing his temples. “Look, Nesta-.”

“I’m a little busy if you don’t mind,” she continued. “I prefer to relax alone.”

“This is my house, too,” he said, shutting the sliding door behind him as he made his way onto the patio. “What if I want to sit out here with you?”

“Then I’d suggest continuing the silence,” she said, not looking at him, her face tilting back up to the sky, where it had been when he’d come outside.

So he sat down on a nearby lounge chair, and didn’t say a word.

Or he tried, but he didn’t last five minutes. The words that had building inside him all day needed to come out. He’d rehearsed different things he wanted to say, with reasons for why he was such an asshole, and promises to try and be better from now on. But as he looked over at her, the starlight on her face, all he could get out was, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Nesta said nothing. “About?”

“The way I acted last night,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the lawn. “It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, draining her glass.

Cassian’s eyes shot her direction. “I’m trying to apologize. You can at least accept my apology so we can move on.”

“Apologies mean nothing,” Nesta said, shrugging. “Words are meaningless.”

“Not mine,” Cassian argued. “I mean what I say.”

“Then you meant what you said last night?” Nesta pushed.

Cassian’s lips snapped shut and his jaw hardened. “No.”

“So, you’re a liar, then?” Nesta asked.

He groaned in frustration. “You’re infuriating.”

She didn’t deign to reply to that.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I was an asshole last night. I was…embarrassed about how you found me the night before. I don’t… I don’t like to be seen like that.” He paused, but then he held a hand out in between them. “Not- not that that happens often. I mean, I don’t make a habit of having emotional breakdowns.”

She didn’t say anything. Just stared at him.

He cleared his throat again, remembering little things he had felt badly about through the day. “Nesta, I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the dinner you made me. I was rude as hell and you did nothing to deserve it.”

After a second, she glanced away, out over the pool. He figured she wasn’t going to reply, and he stood, heading back for the back door.

He had slid the door open and was halfway inside when she said, “If you’re hungry, I made lasagna for dinner. It should still be warm on the stove.”

He turned back and found a hint of a smile on her face. “Thanks, Nes.”

*

A continuation of his apology, Cassian had told Nesta he'd be on baby duty for the rest of the night, waking Nyx up for his bottle, granting her leave to do whatever she wanted. She elected to finish off the bottle of wine, open another, and relax in the bathtub with a book.

The book of choice was definitely not appropriate to read in front of Nyx.

Or Cassian, for that matter.

She had appreciated his apology, even though a part of her still wanted to be pissed. There were very few things that agitated her more than male bravado, and Cassian was the spitting image of it. Embarrassed because he was emotional? Please. Get the fuck over it.

Then again, she could say that all day, but in honesty, if the positions were reversed, she would have reacted very, very similarly.

If not worse.

Nesta had always felt too much, far more than either of her sisters. It wasn’t like they were robots, of course. Elain had a bigger heart than anyone Nesta had ever known, and Feyre had been a light to be around.

But, Nesta…

She felt it all, and she felt it far too deeply. She had learned long ago to shut those emotions off, to let them go, to not let her emotions show. They could just be used as a weakness.

And she found life worked better that way.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

Nesta sat up straight, even though the door was locked, in a sudden panic over the fact that she was nude and reading smut.

“Yeah?”

“Nyx is going to bed,” he said. “Just thought you’d want to say goodnight.”

“I- Ah- Just a minute,” she called, setting the book down and reaching down to grab for her towel. She was out and damn near opened the door in just her towel again, but remembered their agreed upon rules. She snatched her robe, wrapping it around herself, towel and all.

She opened the door, Cassian standing just by her bed, and Nyx had his head resting on his shoulder, rubbing his little eyes.

The image was so pure and innocent that Nesta couldn’t stop herself from taking a few steps towards them, reaching out to brush her fingers down Nyx’s soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, buddy,” she breathed, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead.

She regretted it almost immediately, as bringing herself that close in Nyx also inadvertently brought her to Cassian. His heady, nutmeg-and-campfire scent enveloping her, reminding her of the morning she’d come downstairs and found him as naked as she was now. She stepped back quickly, clearing her throat. “And goodnight to you, Cassian,” she murmured. She pointed back behind her towards the bathtub, towards her book, and said, “I’m going to read a little longer and then go to bed myself.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Nes.”

The nickname didn’t bother her as much as it previously had, she realized as he made his way back out of her room, shutting the door behind him.

She didn’t let herself think about that, did her best not to think about him, as she sunk back into the warm water.

*

Nyx had gone down easily for Cassian, for the first time ever, thanks to the frozen toy he’d gnawed on to relieve the pain of his incoming tooth. He’d decided he deserved a treat, too, after that, and had sat down to watch the hockey game, a beer in hand.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the front door.

Cassian paused, glancing down at his watch, seeing that it was pushing nine o’clock. He stood, after a second knock sounded, making his way to the door. He opened it to find a woman dressed in a suit on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“Mr. Nazari, I assume?” She asked, extending her hand.

He took it, on instinct, shaking it, but he blinked. He repeated, “Yeah… Can I help you?”

Her brows twitched together. “My name is Alis Birch. I’m with social services.”

Cassian continued to shake her hand, staring.

“The courts told you we’d be making random visits to check in on Nyx,” she continued.

Oh, fuck, Cassian thought. Oh, fucking hell.

They’d completely forgotten about those random visits, in the past few weeks they’d been doing this, distracted by getting used to not only being parents, but getting used to each other as well.

“I see,” Cassian said, nodding. “I… I’ll…be right back.”

“I’d like to come in-.”

Cassian shut the door, quickly set his beer on the table in the entryway, and hauled ass upstairs.

He threw open the door to Nesta’s bedroom, only to found it empty, so he continued on, throwing open the bathroom door.

Where Nesta was still in the tub, completely nude, a book in hand, one hand disappeared beneath the water. Her head was thrown back in utter ecstasy.

Until Cassian barged in, anyway.

“Shit!” he yelled, just as Nesta gasped and sent the water sloshing out of the tub, over the porcelain edges.

Cassian quickly shut the door behind him, closing them into the bathroom together, and put his face in his hands. “Sorry!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled, and he could hear her pulling the plug.

“It’s important, I swear,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“If the house isn’t on fire or Nyx isn’t dying, it’s not important,” she cried, ducking behind the walls of the tub.

“It’s pretty fucking important,” he said, turning to give her a semblance of privacy. He heard her stand up, water moving and quiet dripping, before her feet landed on the rug outside the tub. “The social worker is here.”

She froze and he dared a look back at her. Thankfully, she was wrapped in her towel again, one arm pushed through her robe. “The social worker is here? Now?” He nodded, and she looked at the nearly empty bottle of wine next to the glass on the small table by the tub. It was the second one she’d had that night. “But it’s late,” she protested.

“It’s a random, surprise visit,” he replied. “I left her outside, but-.”

“You didn’t let her in?” Nesta demanded, eyes widening. “Cauldron, Cass, that makes us look so guilty.”

He blinked. “Of what?”

“I don’t know,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “But it doesn’t make us look good.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to do,” he sighed, exasperatedly. “I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to come up here and find you doing that.” He gestured to the tub.

Nesta’s cheeks heated. He figured his own were going to permanently be the shade of red they were now.

No, that was the last thing he ever expected to catch Nesta doing.

“Just… Go let her in and stall her while I get dressed,” she sighed, crossing her arms, waiting for him to leave.

Cassian hesitated, then nodded, and hurried back down the stairs. When he reopened the front door, Alis Birch stood there. Her expression was hard, intimidating.

Cassian could feel himself sweat.

He prayed that Nesta somehow sobered up and got the fuck downstairs, because there was no way in hell he could do this without her.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #snelbz tacmc collab #snacmc

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter Seven}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was out with Elain, Mor, Emerie, Amren, and Gwen for the night.

She had no idea when she’d be home.

This meant one thing and one thing only.

It was Cassian’s first night alone with Nyx.

It was no different than being home alone with Nyx during the day, which Cassian had been a handful of times thus far. However, Nyx didn’t seem to need as much during the day.

Eat, sleep, play, repeat.

At night, he needed a dinner, a bath, his bottle, to be rocked, to be put down for the night…which was something he never liked doing. A daytime nap? He didn’t mind. Sleeping for nine hours? Apparently that thought just pissed him off.

Nesta was a pro at getting him to sleep for the night. Cassian had offered once to do it and failed miserably.

“Not tonight, little man,” Cassian said to Nyx as they sat at the dinner table together. “Tonight, you’re going to bed the first time for Uncle Cassian.”

Nyx looked at Cassian and giggled.

Cassian scoffed. “Don’t mock me.”

Dinner with Cassian meant Nyx got the good shit. No puréed green beans or mashed carrots tonight. After he’d polished off a small jar of the cinnamon apples, Nyx had eaten nearly half a tube of puréed sweet potato, and Cassian was eating his own food. He took a bite of supreme pizza and pointed at him, before holding up a single finger. “After this, we’re gonna take a bath, and you aren’t going to throw water everywhere or poop in the tub, got it?”

Nyx just banged his little hand on the tray of his high chair, causing more sweet potato to fly onto himself, grinning up at Cassian.

“Then one last bottle before bed, while I read you a story,” he said, holding up a second finger. “I’m sure there will be a diaper change in there somewhere, so please go easy on me, yeah?”

Nyx played in the mess of mixed food in front of him.

“And then you go to bed, so I can watch a movie and pass out myself, and boom. Nesta can’t say anything about my parenting anymore cause I managed to keep you alive for a whole night.”

Nyx blew a raspberry at him before he started babbling.

Cassian took that as agreement.

“Perfect,” Cassian said, ruffling Nyx’s dark hair as he shoved the rest of the pizza into his mouth with his other hand.

He got up to clear his plate, and by the time he went back to Nyx’s high chair, he had managed to make orange streaks in his black hair.

Courtesy of the sweet potatoes.

With a sigh, Cassian took the tray off the high chair and unbuckled Nyx, picking him up and carrying him toward the bath.

“You first, tray second,” Cassian said.

Nyx started patting his little potato covered hands on Cassian’s cheeks, giggling at the sound it made.

Cassian cringed at the way it felt. “Thanks for that.”

He filled the bathtub up, ensuring it wasn’t too hot, like Nesta had shown him, and got Nyx out of his messy clothes and into the tub. After he’d wiped his own face clean of sweet potato, he went to work on Nyx, who had somehow managed to get it on the back of his knees.

Twenty minutes and a full change of wet, soggy clothes later for Cassian, he was sitting in Nyx’s nursery, in the rocking chair in the corner, a book open in his lap.

“This would be a book your parents bought you,” he muttered, opening the front cover. After clearing his throat, he began, “The night sky of Velaris greeted all the townspeople, letting them know it was time to go to bed.” Nyx patted the page and babbled something incoherent. Cassian nodded. “Yeah, it’s a nice picture, isn’t it?” He went on reading the story, written by a local author, no doubt, and Cassian found himself snorting at some of the sentences, but Nyx was fully engaged.

By the time he had finished the book, Nyx was leaning back against him, fully relaxed in his pajamas.

Even Cassian let out a yawn.

“You know, the Velaris starlight was important to your parents,” Cassian said, rocking Nyx back and forth. “They fell in love on Starfall. At least, that’s what Rhys always said. He was in love with your mama long before that, but she started falling for him on Starfall.” Nyx’s dark lashes began to fall, his eyelids drooping. “That’s why they named you Nyx. In Greek, Nyx means night.”

Nyx’s hand gripped Cassian’s thumb. He looked down at the sight and chuckled, quietly.

The baby looked up at him then, with those big, blue eyes, eyes that were so blue, they looked violet in the dark. That dark hair that was starting to need a trim, falling into his eyes. Cassian blinked quickly, trying to keep the sudden tears from spilling over. “You look so much like your dad,” he whispered.

Nyx just continued to watch him, pacifier in his mouth, those eyes getting sleepier with every rock of the chair.

Swallowing harshly, Cass set the book down and resituated Nyx so he was laying against his chest. He gently rubbed his back, the way he saw Nesta do when he would get fussy.

“I miss your dad,” he said, softly. “I know you do, too, you’ve known him your whole life, but—. But so have I. And after twenty-eight years he’s just…gone.”

That dark head snuggled in closer against him, one of his little hands clutching Cassian’s t-shirt.

Cassian said nothing else. If he had, he wouldn’t have gotten them out clearly.

He rocked. He rocked and he rocked and he rocked until Nyx was snoring, softly. As carefully as he could, Cassian rose and laid Nyx down in his crib.

After waiting a moment to make sure he didn’t wake up, Cassian tiptoed out of the room and across the hall to his own bedroom.

He had just laid down and unlocked his phone when he heard crying.

Tossing his phone back on his pillow, Cassian was instantly up, hurrying back across the hall. Nyx’s feet were kicking, his arms waving wildly, perfectly unhappy.

“What’s going on?” Cassian asked, picking the baby up out of the crib and cradling him against his chest. “Huh? You were sleeping so nicely.”

He continued to cry, and no amount of bouncing or patting his back was seeming to work.

“Come on, dude,” he muttered, sitting back down in the rocker. He resumed the slow back and forth motion, praying it would soothe Nyx back into peaceful sleep. “We did the bath. We did the bottle. We did the book. This is when you go to sleep.”

He kept crying and Cassian just shushed him quietly, his hand resuming the gentle rubbing he had done before. It helped, but Nyx still sniffled. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m still scared I’m gonna do something to fuck up and I wouldn’t just be doing it to you, it’d be to Rhys, too.”

Nyx’s wailing returned, and Cassian tried to close his eyes and take deep breaths. It wasn’t working. With everything he tried, Nyx only cried more and more and more.

“Come on, buddy,” he begged. “It’s time for bed, alright? It’s time to calm down.” Nyx let out a cry so loud that Cassian nearly jumped, which only scared Nyx, making him cry louder.

Cassian tried changing his diaper, tried getting him to take his pacifier, but nothing helped. He continued to rock, continued to pat, continued to walk Nyx around his room, but nothing worked.

Nothing.

Defeated, Cassian laid Nyx back down in his crib. “Come on, bud. Come on.”

Nyx kept crying, and Cassian rubbed his temples, trying not to join his nephew in his agony.

“Shhhhhh,” Cassian began, leaning over the crib, patting Nyx’s stomach. “It’s time for bed, Nyx. It’s time for bed. If your parents were here right now, I’m sure you’d already be asleep. Shit, if Nesta were here, you’d already be asleep.” He shook his head. “It’s me, isn’t it?”

The baby replied by continuing to cry.

He swore quietly, and hurried across the hall grabbing his phone, dialing a number he’d unknowingly memorized. She answered on the second ring.

“Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t hear music and laughter in the background of the call, but heard how panicked her voice was. She must have stepped away from her friends. It only made him feel that much worse.

“I can’t get him to stop crying and go to sleep,” he admitted. “I don’t know what else to try.”

“You gave him his bottle?” She asked, and he nodded. Then audibly answered her. After that, she ticked off the checklist of things she usually went through. Every single one he’d already tried.

“It’s like it’s just me,” he said, trying to calm him down while he held the phone to his ear. He scooped him up into his arms and sat down in the rocking chair. “He hates me and won’t go to sleep.”

She was quiet for a minute. “You know that’s not true, Cassian. He loves you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said, quietly, low enough that he wasn’t sure if the receiver could pick it up over Nyx’s wailing.

But it didn’t matter, because he heard footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

When Nesta rounded the corner, she wasn’t expecting to find Cassian looking defeated in the rocking chair. She pretended not to see the tears on his handsome face as she dropped her purse by the door of the nursery and took Nyx. She began to soothe him and tried to give him back his pacifier, but he wouldn’t take it.

“He’s cutting a new tooth,” Nesta said, carefully looking into his mouth, wide open thanks to a drawn out sob. “That’s all. He’s just uncomfortable, isn’t he?”

By the end of the sentence she was looking at Nyx, an over-exaggerated frown on her face.

She handed him back to Cassian and was downstairs and back with cooling, teething toy she’d pulled out of the freezer. He began to chew and gnaw on it the moment she handed it to him.

The crying quieted.

“There,” she said, smoothing his dark hair back from his forehead. “Better, yeah?”

Taking him from Cassian who hadn’t said a word since she walked in, she put him back into his crib and gently rubbed his belly. Within minutes, he was asleep again.

He murmured, “Thanks. You…didn’t have to end your night early for me.” He gestured toward the front door. “You can head back out. I can— I can handle it now.”

She shook her head. “I was on the way home. Turns out I wasn’t really in the going out mood.”

Cassian nodded, and said no more. He simply watched Nyx, his chest rising and falling. Nesta gave him a curt nod and walked out, back into the hall.

Cassian followed, shutting the nursery door quietly behind him.

“You did that so effortlessly.”

Nesta stopped and turned to face him near her bedroom, a brow raised. “Effortlessly?”

“I’ve been struggling for hours and you came in, and less than five minutes… He was out.” Cassian shook his head. “I’ve known him since the day he was born and I had no idea what he wanted.”

“He’s a baby, Cassian. He doesn’t even know what he wanted.”

“You knew,” he said, exasperated, exhausted.

She blinked, not expecting the tone of his voice to have sounded so…empty.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nesta said, looking at him, willing him to meet her eyes. He didn’t look up.

“It’s not okay,” he said, and suddenly his words were sharp. “Rhys trusted me to take care of him but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

She shook her head. “They trusted us, but they knew it wouldn’t be easy. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. We just have to take it day by day and-.”

“It’s not okay!” His words weren’t loud but they were panicked. “I have to provide for him and I can’t fucking do it if I don’t know what he needs.”

“Cassian-.”

“Why would they choose me?” He asked, his voice quiet. Tears filled his eyes. He hated himself for it. “I never even wanted kids! I have no idea what to do with a kid, Nesta. I don’t know what parents are supposed to do, what dads are supposed to do, I didn’t even fucking have one.”

Nesta remained quiet, afraid to speak, afraid to move. She had never seen Cassian like this.

She didn’t think anyone had ever seen Cassian like this.

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to do this,” he repeated. “I can’t— I can’t do this.”

She knew her words would mean nothing, reassuring him that he wasn’t alone in this, that they would figure it out together. It wouldn’t help him, wouldn’t ease his mind or his heart. That heart that was still broken from the loss of his best friend, his brother. So she did something she never thought she’d do.

She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him.

Cassian didn’t move for a moment, he just let her slim arms wrap around his waist, not realizing that he was on the brink of losing it. He was fairly sure that right now, she was the only thing holding him together, both mentally and physically. But after a long minute, his own arms wrapped around her shoulder and he buried his face into the top of her hair. He didn’t care that his tears were soaking her hair, didn’t care that this was the woman he’d spent the past five years hating and avoiding like she was the damn plague.

He didn’t care that he was falling to pieces.

Standing in that hallway, with Nyx sleeping behind the closed bedroom door, Cassian wept, and he didn’t care who saw it.

#life as we know it #snacmc lawki #lawki #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 27}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Surprise. :)

The lunch rush lasted well into the afternoon.

By three o’clock, the kitchen was still bustling, and the servers were struggling to keep up with their tables, which meant that Nesta would have to multitask. 

She’d spent five minutes in the kitchen, and five minutes running food, and pretty much did that and that alone on repeat for hours on end.

Even Helion didn’t have time to be his usual nosey, sassy self. 

Which, with everything going on in the weeks  before, she was grateful for. The last thing she wanted was to relive her dramas with Helion. 

With a plate of salmon in one hand and a cup of soup and half-sandwich in the other, Nesta was pushing through the double doors and making her rounds. The salmon was left with a kind elderly man who sat by himself against the far wall, and the cup of soup and sandwich was being brought to a familiar face.

He smiled at her as she approached. “Hey, Nesta.”

Balthazar looked as handsome as ever. It seemed he had recently gotten a haircut, and his face was clean shaven. 

“Hey,” she said, surprised as she set the plate in front of him. “It’s good to see you. Been a while since you stopped in.”

“Been keeping busy,” he smiled, then gestured to the empty seat across from him. “Can you spare five minutes? I’d love to know how you’ve been.”

“Of course, yeah, just…” She glanced over her shoulder, back towards the kitchen. “Give me a few minutes to make sure the kitchen is caught up. I’ll be right back.”

He nodded, smiling at her and started on his sandwich.

Hurrying into the kitchen, she checked out how many open tickets were left. The orders were slowing, so she decided she could take a few minutes to breathe. Before heading back out to the dining room, she threw together a small salad for herself, realizing she still hadn’t eaten.

And her hangover was starting to catch up with her. She’d had far too many glasses of wine last night.

She returned to Balthazar’s table, salad and a refill for his drink in hand and sat down. “Sorry about that, things have been…crazy today.”

“Good crazy or bad crazy?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Good,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Definitely good. With the expansion, we’ve got all sorts of new clientele giving us a shot.” 

“That’s great,” he said. “I tried to come to the party a few weeks back, but there was a line halfway down the block. Wanted to tell you congrats.”

Nesta raised a brow as she took a bite of her salad. “Well, thank you.” She cleared her throat. “What about you? How’s work?”

“Good, never a dull moment,” he said, huffing a laugh. “A kid came in this morning, got his finger stuck in a spatula. Spent nearly an hour getting it off.”

“A spatula?” Nesta repeated, unable to stop her own quiet laughter. “Poor kid.”

“Yeah, it was rough,” Balthazar agreed. “How’s Nyx?”

“Good,” Nesta said. “Yeah, he’s walking, talking, a little bit of a tiny tasmanian devil.”

Balthazar laughed. “I’m not surprised. Kid has a lot of energy.”

“That he does,” Nesta agreed. “And quite the personality. It’s fun to watch it come out, that personality.”

Balthazar looked up at Nesta and smiled, softly. “I’m glad to hear you doing so well, Nesta.”

If only you knew. She mustered her best smile. “Thanks.”

“How’s Cassian?”

She knew the question wasn’t meant to be as pointed as it came out. Balthazar had no idea what the past week had held for her, or that she and Cassian had even become…

Whatever they were.

Weren’t anymore, she guessed.

They’d been avoiding each other at the restaurant and never had to see each other to get Nyx. Viviane was always the one to meet in the middle. Which she was both thankful and resentful of. She never had a chance to talk to him, but maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. Clearly things had fallen apart.

Maybe it was best it happened now and not a few years down the line.

“He’s— He’s good,” she replied too quickly. “He’s great. He’s actually my partner now. Business partner! My business partner, I mean. He was the one who had the idea to add a bar, and he invested in the restaurant and made it happen.”

“That’s great,” Balthazar smiled. “I’m sure that must help out at home. Smooth things out with your schedule you two made.”

Nesta nearly laughed out loud. Gods, she wished. If only things could be as easy as they used to be, as they were before they slept together, before they got messy and they fell for each other. “Something like that.”

His smile was soft. “You look good, Nesta. I hate how things ended between us.”

Nesta’s eyes softened. Balthazar was a good guy. In any other world, she would have surely given him a chance. 

“I’m sorry that it had to,” she said, in all honesty. “You’re a good man.”

He nodded, and she knew his smile was genuine. “Well, as long as you’re happy.”

Nesta sipped from her ice tea before asking, “Are you happy?”

“Oh yeah,” he said, shrugging. “Work is going good. Got a few good friends to keep me company. What more could I need?”

Nesta smiled and held up her glass. “Well, to our happiness then.” 

Balthazar clinked his glass against Nesta’s. “And any future friendships, I hope.”

Nesta smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Balthazar’s grin widened as he drank his iced tea, and Nesta gave herself a mental pat on the back for how great of a liar she actually was.

*

Cassian got to work and nearly stopped as he entered the door. Nesta was sitting in a booth with Balthazar, her head thrown back as she laughed at whatever it was he was saying.

It had been weeks since he had made Nesta laugh like that.

It made sense, he told himself, as he quickly but quietly entered the bar through the kitchens. Otherwise, he’d have to walk right by them.

But he wasn’t surprised she’d fallen right back into Balthazar’s ensnaring smiles. Even he had to admit the man was handsome, but it may have just been their shared heritage and Illyrian pride that made him think so.

Mercifully, the bar was just as busy as the restaurant, as it had been every day since the opening, and he didn’t have to bother talking to her. He barely even acknowledged Kallias who was busy talking to a group of men in suits who sat at a round table in the corner, though the friends gave each other a nod of greeting.

Cassian was glad he’d been bartending since he was twenty-one, was glad it was as easy as breathing to him because he couldn’t get that damned smile out of his head. He couldn’t stop thinking of the way her eyes were sparkling again. He even let himself wonder if she’d moved on from him in the physical sense, but then shut the thought down as he realized he had no right to think of those things.

She was a grown woman. If she wanted to make that choice, she was free to.

Even if it felt like his heart had been ripped out to consider it.

No, he wouldn’t think about it, wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

It was going to be a good day. 

He looked up.

Saw Nesta.

With a curse, he pathetically realized that trying to push down his emotions was a fool's errand. Jealousy consumed him and he hated himself for it.

He hated her.

Hated how he felt about her, anyway.

Hated that he couldn’t control it. 

He could never hate her, no matter how hard he tried.

A pretty, young redhead sat at the bar and grinned at Cassian. “Hey, bartender.”

With a lifted brow, Cassian leaned against the bar top. “I’ve not seen you in here before. Welcome.”

She had a nice smile. “Thanks. I live across town but have heard good things about this bar. Heard the bartenders are handsome, too.”

“I like the people you hear things from,” Cassian grinned.

He looked over the woman’s shoulder.

Nesta had stood up from Bal’s table with a stack of plates and was watching him, her jaw set.

Cassian looked back at his new acquaintance. “What can I get you?”

“Sex on the beach,” she purred. He smirked and she added. “Favorite activity and favorite drink. What can I say? I’m a girl of good taste.”

“I can see that,” he chuckled and set to making her drink.

“What’s your name?” She asked, propping a hand on her fist and watching him.

“Cassian,” he replied, giving her a grin.

She grinned right back. “Cassian. I’m Justine.”

“Justine,” he repeated. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she said, that seductive tone even lacing the simplest of words. “What time do you get off, Cassian?”

It was a dangerous question.

One in which Cassian knew there would be a follow up question to.

“About midnight, probably,” he said, setting a napkin down on the bar top before placing her drink on top.

She leaned down, keeping her eyes on his as she took a long, slow drink, making sure Cassian got a good view of her cleavage. “And do you have any plans when you get off at midnight?”

Cassian instantly thought of Nesta, then he thought about Nesta with Balthazar.

And how damn happy she had looked.

“Why do you ask?” He asked, leaning an arm on the bar top.

Justine’s grin widened. “There’s a club a few blocks over. I’ll be there with some friends. You should come. We’ll have fun.”

Her implications of the word fun did not slip past him.

“Maybe. I could go for some fun,” he replied, propping his chin on his fist.

“Cassian?”

He tried to tell himself she wouldn’t have had his attention, no matter what, but he was powerless to drag his gaze from Justine and settle his eyes on Nesta.

“Yes?” He asked, tossing the rag he’d been holding over his shoulder and leaning on the bar.

Her stormy blue eyes were on Justine but they flicked back to him. “A word, please.”

She didn’t wait for his answer before heading into the store room.

“Ooh, your boss looks pissed,” Justine crooned.

“She’s not my boss,” he replied, his gaze finding her again. “This is my bar.”

A light sparkled in Justine’s green eyes. “Mhmm.”

Cassian snorted. “Be right back.”

Reluctantly, with a slight, dreadful edge of excitement and hope, Cassian swung open the door to the store room.

Nesta stood there, arms crossed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Cassian arched a brow. “Serving drinks to paying customers. You?”

“Don’t play cute,” she snapped. “This isn’t your old, trashy bar. You can’t hook up with the customers.”

Fury hit Cassian quickly, and he knew it had very little to do with the actual words coming out of her mouth at this moment. “It’s my bar. I can do whatever and whoever I want. And don’t preach to me about hooking up with customers. You have no room to talk.”

Nesta scoffed, brows shooting into her hairline. “And what does that mean?”

“Balthazar is a paying customer, too,” Cassian said, voice low.

It was petty.

He knew that.

He also didn’t care.

“Fuck you,” she hissed.

“Last time we were in here together, you did, and look where that got us,” Cassian shot back.

Nesta shook her head. “You’re a pig.”

“You’ve thought it since the beginning, I don’t know why I expected anything different.”

Nesta didn’t say a word, she just crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him.

Cassian wanted to pull his hair out, was damn near about to as she watched him with that intense stare. “I don’t fucking get it, Nes. You can’t be with me but you can throw yourself all over him?” 

“Yes,” she snapped, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, as if it didn’t need an explanation.

He wanted to grab her and shake her, see if he could get her to make some sense. Either that or kiss her until she was breathless. That might get them on an even playing field. “Why?”

“He’s the easier choice,” she said, trying to brush past him, heading for the door.

Grabbing her by the wrist, Cassian asked, “What does that even mean? Why?”

She whirled on him, eyes blazing as she was right in his face. “Because I don’t love him like I love you. I can’t love him like I love you. Everything about you consumes me and he’s a distraction from that.”

Every thought, every ounce of fury, faded from Cassian’s mind. His fingers were still around her wrist, but he could barely feel her skin. He thought he’d heard wrong, thought he had fallen into some sort of sick, twisted alternate universe. Nesta said nothing, but her eyes began to tear up as her chest rose and fell, heavily. 

“What?” he asked, at last, breathlessly.

“You’re such an idiot,” she said, but there was no more bite, no more hostility, in her tone. It was quiet. Sad. Defeated. “You think that I’ve been acting the way I’ve been acting because I hate you, but you have no idea.” 

“You love me?” he asked, still in shock, still trying to piece her words together into a sentence that made sense. 

In answer, a tear slid down her cheek and she didn’t bother wiping it away.

“I don’t understand,” Cassian said, quietly, honestly. “If you love me-.”

“I can’t,” she interrupted, shaking her head. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” he asked, sliding his fingers off of her wrist and taking her hand in his. 

“I can’t love you the way that I do,” she said, and met his eyes. “I can’t be with you, and raise Nyx, and live this…happy life when the only reason that it’s happening is because Rhysand and Feyre are no longer here. I can’t give my heart to you because I can’t bear what would happen if we… I just… I can’t. There’s too much at stake.”  

“Why?” He breathed. “Why are we not allowed this happiness?”

She just shook her head, more tears flowing freely.

“They wouldn’t want this, Nesta. That wouldn’t want us to be miserable, because they’re gone. You don’t think they wanted Nyx to grow up in a loving family?”

“We’re not—.”

“A family?” He interrupted. “Bullshit, Nesta. At the end of the day, I’m not just excited to come home and see just you and just Nyx. I want to see you both.”

The light in Nesta’s eyes shifted, and Cassian swore it looked something like hope.

“I don’t know, Cass-.”

“Do you love me?”

She swallowed. “I keep telling you, it’s not that easy-.”

“Do you love me?” he repeated.

All of the breath left Nesta’s body as she shook her head. “You already know the answer to that.”

“I want to hear you say it,” he whispered, and cupped her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs. 

Nesta met his eyes as she leaned into his palm. “Of course, I love you.”

“Then be with me,” he begged. “Be with me, and everything else… We’ll go through together. Just, please stop pushing me away. Stop making it all so damn difficult. It should be easy, even when it’s not easy. You and me… Be with me.” 

She closed her eyes and Cassian was sure she was about to push him away, was about to shred his heart one last time. But she nodded, just once and before she could change her mind, he gathered her in his arms, nearly crushing her to his chest.

Her own arms wrapped around his middle and Cassian could feel her trembling as she wept into his chest.

It didn’t matter, he promised her, the weeks they’d spent apart, or what the future may hold. As long as they had each other, they’d face it all.

Together.

#nessian #modern au #fanfiction #snacmc lawki

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 26}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta awoke with a pounding headache and the need to vomit, even though she was fully aware her stomach was completely emptied out. She began to shift on the mattress, but froze when she realized that a heavy arm was draped across her waist.

Behind her, Cassian was sleeping soundly, spooned up against her.

Stay.

She remembered asking that of him the night before, remembered everything from the night before.

She had been drunk, horribly drunk.

They had fought.

She had tried to sleep with him.

She had vomited all over the kitchen.

He had cleaned it up.

He had cleaned her up.

He had carried her to bed.

He had stayed.

She hadn’t deserved for him to stay.

Carefully and slowly, Nesta took Cassian’s hand and removed it from her body before dragging herself quietly out of the bed and sneaking out of the room.

She had been so fucking irresponsible the night before, shouldn’t have ever tried to drive here, yet here she was. No wonder Cassian had been so pissed.

She planned on getting a quick cup of coffee to settle her stomach and sneaking out, but as she found Elain in the kitchen, she knew that was no longer possible.

Her sister, never one for anger, raised an eyebrow. “You owe me for my landscaping.”

Nesta cringed and dropped into a seat at the end of the table. Her head fell into her hands with a smack. “I know, I’m sorry.”

A cup of coffee appeared in front of her and Nesta did nothing but breathe in the life-changing scent for a minute, her forehead still pressed into her hand.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Elain said, leaning against the counter. “I love having you here. But as far as I knew, Cassian was staying here because you were at the house. Imagine my surprise when I find both of your vehicles in my driveway this morning.”

Nesta cringed, yet again.

“And the bush by my mailbox flattened,” Elain added, sipping from her steaming mug.

Nesta groaned, her head falling against the tabletop. “I fucked up, I get it.” There was no malice in her voice, only exhaustion.

The chair across from her was pulled out and Elain sat down with a sigh. “You know I’m not letting you leave until we talk about this, right?”

Nesta huffed. “Talk about what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Elain sighed. “The fact that you showed up at my house at midnight, drunker than you’ve been since college, to fight with Cassian?”

Nesta looked up at her.

“At least, that’s my husband’s version,” Elain said, watching her sister. “Correct me if I’m wrong.”

Nesta leaned back in her chair and shook her head, slowly. She fiddled with the fabric around her thighs, only now realizing that she was in Cassian’s shirt.

He had taken her dirty dress off and replaced it with something clean, something of his.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Nesta said, simply.

“How about promising me you’ll never be stupid enough to get behind the wheel while drunk again?” Elain asked, a slight edge to her voice. “The last thing I need is you getting in an-.”

Her words dropped off and she shook her head, sipping from her mug to avoid the word that Nesta knew was meant to come next.

Accident.

A newfound guilt flooded Nesta’s stomach. She felt like she was going to puke all over again. How could she do that, after all that had happened? After what had happened to Feyre and Rhysand?

“I fucked up,” she said, again, and leaned across the table to take Elain’s hand. “I was drunk, I made a poor decision in the heat of the moment because I was pissed, and I was irresponsible. I know that, and trust me, I am full of regret and feel like a fucking idiot this morning. I promise, Lainy, that I’ll never make that mistake again.”

Elain looked at her for a moment before her eyes softened and she nodded. “Good. I believe you. Now, care to tell me why you made such a dumbass decision to begin with?”

Dumbass. Elain rarely swore.

“Cassian and I had sex in the store room last night,” she sighed, not looking at Elain.

“You what?” Her voice raised an octave.

“Shh,” she said, glancing around her to the living room beyond. “I don’t know how exactly it happened, but it did. I went in there for some air, he followed me, and we got into it. Next thing I know, my back is against the far wall, he’s buried inside of me, and I’m halfway to an earth shattering orgasm.”

Elain had stilled, her mug midway to her lips as she stared at her sister. She repeated, “You what?”

“I don’t need a lecture if that’s what you’re building up to,” Nesta snapped.

Elain sighed, setting her mug down on the table. “It’s either a lecture or silence.”

Nesta just shook her head.

“Nesta, that man is madly in love with you,” Elain said, lecturing, anyway. Nesta stared at the table. “And you love him, too. This…unhealthy need to push everything and everyone away that makes you happy is going to make you nothing but miserable in the end and, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let you be miserable.”

Nesta shook her head. “Feyre wouldn’t want—.”

“No,” Elain interrupted, her voice going harder than Nesta typically heard it. “Feyre would want you to be happy. She’s gone, Nesta.” Her eyes lined with tears as she reached across the table and took Nesta’s hands. “She’s gone, and yes, maybe that’s the only reason that you and Cassian ended up together, but you know what? Maybe it’s not. Maybe you and Cass would’ve ended up together at another time, another place, but you didn’t. This is how it happened. And Feyre, wherever she is, is so damn happy that you two are happy. She wanted you two to be together five years ago, and she wants you to be together now, if he’s who makes you happy. You can’t feel guilty, Nesta. Your happiness does not deserve guilt.”

Nesta said nothing, didn’t bother wiping the tear that fell down her cheek.

“You love him,” Elain said, and it wasn’t a question.

Which meant that Nesta didn’t answer.

“He cleaned up your puke and carried you to bed after you treated him like garbage,” Elain said, her voice lightening. “Men like that don’t just come around, Nes.”

A door opened and closed from the back of the house and Elain picked up her coffee, standing.

“Where are you going?” Nesta whispered, her eyes going wide.

“You need to talk to him,” Elain said, heading for the living room. She didn’t say another word to her sister, but she heard her start up the stairs. “Good morning, Cass. And good morning to you, sweet boy.”

She didn’t hear a response from either of them, so she assumed Nyx was still dozing on Cassian’s shoulder, but Elain’s soft footsteps retreated up the stairs.

“Morning.”

She turned to find Cassian leaning against the doorway. Nyx, indeed, was still near sleeping where he had his head resting against Cassian, holding onto his shirt.

Clutching her coffee cup, Nesta breathed, “Good morning.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, walking to the fridge and opening the door, pulling out a jug of orange juice.

“Honestly?” she muttered. “Shitty.”

Cassian snorted. “I’d say so.”

Silence ensued, and Cassian kissed Nyx’s forehead as he handed him to Nesta. “I’ll get him some breakfast.”

Nesta nodded, taking the sleepy baby and letting his head fall against her chest.

Cassian got oatmeal out of the pantry and mixed it with some milk before cutting strawberries into small squares. The entire time, Nesta watched him. The entire time, Cassian didn’t say a thing.

She could see the way his back muscles flexed through his old, white t-shirt.

It made her weak in the knees.

“Dada,” Nyx said, arm outstretched to Cassian.

“Almost ready, buddy,” he promised.

As Cassian walked toward the table, Nesta put Nyx in the highchair. She’d move him once Seph was awake and ready to eat. She had a feeling Nyx would be finished long before that, though, because the second Cassian sat the bowl on the tray, Nyx’s hands were covered in oatmeal.

Cassian chuckled and retreated back away from the table.

Nesta cleared her throat. “Cass?”

“Hmmm?”

“I-,” she hesitated, and sighed. “Thank you. For last night. I’m… I’m sorry, I was completely out of line-.”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

“It’s not fine.” He still hadn’t turned back to look at her. “It’s not, at all. What I did last night was stupid and irresponsible and selfish. And you took care of me and I didn’t deserve it. So… Thank you and I’m sorry.”

He was quiet for another minute, pouring a cup of coffee alongside his juice. “You’re welcome. Like I said, it’s fine. It happened, you recognize it was a dumbass decision to make. Just don’t make it again.”

She nodded, though he still couldn’t see her, since he still had his back to her.

Nesta asked, “Can we… Can we talk about last night?”

“I don’t know what there is to talk about, Nes,” he sighed, finally turning to look at her. He leaned back against the counter. “Before or after you showed up drunk?”

“Both,” she stood up and crossed the kitchen toward him. She suddenly remembered she was wearing nothing but his t-shirt. “Like I said, I was way out of line.”

Cassian watched her for a moment before letting out a breath, his shoulders sagging. “Yeah, well… The store room was just as much me as it was you, so don’t apologize for that one.”

Nesta nodded, and looked over at Nyx, stuffing his face. “Do you regret it?”

A beat passed. “The store room?”

She nodded.

Cassian drank from his glass. “Do you?”

I asked you first, she wanted to say, but didn’t. Instead, she said, “It was unprofessional.”

“That’s not an answer,” he said.

“Neither is refusing to answer the question at all,” Nesta pointed out.

Cassian snorted. “Fair.”

They fell into silence, yet again, the only sounds coming from Nyx and his excitement about food.

“Is that all you have to say this morning?” Cassian asked, and she knew he was looking at her, so her eyes remained on the floor.

“I apologized,” she said. “I thanked you. What else is there to say?”

Cassian nodded, apparently that was answer enough for him. “Alright, well, Viv is planning on meeting you and Nyx back at the house at noon. I’ll see you at work.”

He turned his back to her and started walking out of the kitchen.

“Wait,” Nesta breathed, making her way toward him. “There is one more thing I’d like to say, like to ask.”

Cassian stopped and slowly turned to face her.

It was all too familiar. Him, in his sweatpants and old tee. Her, in his shirt, after a night spent cuddled up together.

Even if the night before had been under completely different circumstances.

She cleared her throat. “I think you should come back home, Cass.”

He searched her eyes, searched for the underlying meaning. “Why?”

“Because Nyx misses you,” Nesta said, without missing a beat. “He misses seeing you everyday.”

“Is he the only one?” Cassian asked, taking a step toward her.

“Cassian,” she breathed, shaking her head.

He nodded, slowly, taking a deep breath. “That’s what I thought.”

He turned around, but Nesta reached out for him. “Cassian, please, just come back-.”

“I can’t,” he said, quietly. “I can’t be there, every day, seeing you, and not being able to do something as simple as give you a hug, Nes. I can’t be there and pretend like things are fine, and that I’m not completely miserable. I can’t. I can’t do that. I’m not ready for that.”

The brush of her fingers against his arm felt like a brand and it took everything in him not to rip it from her grasp.

“I’m going to get ready,” he said, as calmly as he could. “I’ll see you at work. Viv will be there at noon to watch him.”

Her fingers fell away as he stepped out of reach and walked back through the living room and down the hall. As always, he never slammed the door. He never let his anger get the best of him. She heard it shut with a soft click.

“Mama?”

Nesta whirled, her eyes falling on Nyx. He was a sticky mess, oatmeal and smashed strawberries all over his hands and cheeks, but he was looking right at her. “Mama,” he repeated, holding out the empty bowl for her. As if he was saying, all done.

She gave him the best smile she could muster, before crossing the room and taking the bowl from him. “Thank you, sweet boy.”

A few minutes later, she’d left the bowl soaking in the sink, had wiped him down as best she could and had nabbed a pair of leggings from Elain’s clean laundry. She didn’t want to have to interrupt Cassian to ask about her dirty dress.

Without another word to anyone, she packed Nyx up in the car and was gone, heading for home. A few minutes later, she pulled in the driveway, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that something was missing.

Without that stupid truck parked next to her car, it didn’t feel quite like home. Going inside and not finding a game on the TV, or the smell of bacon cooking this early, it didn’t feel like home.

Without Cassian there, nothing did.

And she knew she was the only one to blame.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #snacmc collab #snelbz tacmc collab #nessian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter Five}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

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Nesta’s time for mourning was up.

As she pulled into Elain’s driveway, reality set in. It would be her first day back at the restaurant since the accident, since her life was thrown completely upside down.

She wasn’t ready

But, she had no choice.

Elain was already smiling when she opened the door, reaching out to take Nyx. “Hi, my baby! Aunt Lainy and Seph are so excited to spend the day with you, yes we are.”

“I’m glad, because Aunt Nesta isn’t so excited to not be spending the day with him,” she said, sighing.

Elain gave her sister a wistful look. “I get that. How about Cass, how did he feel going back to work last night?”

Nesta snorted. “Don’t know. He never came back. They started inventory around two this morning after last call, according to the short text I woke up to. He says he’ll be there for most of the day.”

Elain lifted a brow. “Wow.”

Nesta blinked. “He’s a bartender, what do you expect?”

“No,” Elain chuckled. “I meant: wow, looks like you two are actually communicating. I’m shocked.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “We’ve been living together for three days. If we weren’t communicating, what exactly would we be doing instead?”

Elain carried Nyx into the living room, sitting him down in the playpen she’d set up in the corner. “I mean, honestly, Az and I just figured you were pretending each other didn’t exist.”

For all intents and purposes, they had been, but they had made sure to talk about important things. Like whether Nyx had been fed, when he needed to go down for his nap and what the schedule for the next day would look like.

To be totally honest, she hadn’t even realized Cassian had her number until she’d woken up to a text from one she didn’t have saved in her phone.

“We’re…adjusting,” she finally said, watching as Nyx crawled over to the pile of toys in the corner of the playpen. “I gave him a bath last night, and he said he would handle the next one, since he had to go to work. But… Gods, Elain, giving a one-year-old a bath is exhausting. I looked like I’d just left the pool, not to mention the entire bathroom was soaked.”

Elain chuckled and shook her head. “Seph loves baths, but we’re still having them in the sink right now. She’s not quite ready for the bathtub yet.”

The baby in question was asleep in a bouncer, resting on the floor by the couch.

Nesta glanced at her watch, whatever reply she had falling from her lips. “Shit, I have to go, I’ll be late.”

“Go,” Elain said, wrapping her sister up in a hug. “The day will fly by and you’ll be home with Nyx before you know it.”

Nesta nodded, even though her core was filled with dread.

Nonetheless, she was across town in fifteen minutes, hurrying into the café just before nine. She tossed her purse behind her desk after she unlocked the door to her office and looked around, only to find everything exactly where she had left it.

With a sigh, she pulled a bottle of water out of her mini-fridge, only to find it completely warm. They must have unplugged it when they were cleaning. It wouldn’t be the first time.

She didn’t have time to think on it too much, though, because there was a knock on her office door, her manager’s voice calling her name through the wood.

Her first day back had officially begun.

*

Cassian was exhausted.

For the past couple hours, he felt like he was lost somewhere in a dream. Now, as he continued to stare at the shelves of liquor in the back room, he debated curling up in the corner and falling asleep.

He’d messed up so many drink orders the night before, worrying about whether Nyx was okay or if Nesta had forgotten to do anything for him. He knew Nesta was perfectly capable of taking care of Nyx, had been doing so since Rhys and Feyre had died. But he still worried about him constantly.

He yawned as he shoved a box of tequila up onto the top shelf, turning to see how much was left.

Only to find the store room empty of boxes. He let over a relieved sigh, pulling out his phone.

10:37

He knew the opener would be in at eleven, a shift that was usually his, but as the manager, he preferred to ensure inventory was done correctly, and with such a big shipment, thanks to his unexpected time off, he told them he would work the night before.

His feet damn near shuffling across the floor, he made his way into the office and sat down at the desk, to wait for Kallias. He didn’t see a reason to lock the place up when Kal would be here five minutes later to start setting up.

He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until he heard a knocking on the office door and sat up quickly, his feet falling from where he’d propped them on top of the desk.

Cassian found Kallias standing in the doorway, a small smirk on his lips. “Baby keeping you up at night already?”

He yawned, dragging a hand down his face. “No. Well, sometimes, but not this time. Didn’t finish inventory until about fifteen minutes ago.”

Kallias whistled. “Damn. You should’ve called. I would’ve come help.” Cassian shrugged. “No use having both of us exhausted.”

Kallias just shook his head. “If you say so. Go home, Cass. Get some sleep. I’ve got everything under control.”

Cassian didn’t need to be told twice. He stood, clapped Kallias on the shoulder, and walked out to the parking lot. After hopping into his truck, Cassian dozed off.

And six hours later, he woke up, his head against his steering wall, his neck hurting like hell, and his chin glistening with his slobber.

It wasn’t an attractive sight.

After a curse, he looked at the clock on the dash, and swore again.

It was just after five.

The truck was in gear and he was speeding home seconds later. When he rounded the corner, Nesta’s car was already in the driveway.

He parked beside her, hopping out and hurrying to the back door. When he threw it open, he found her standing at the stove, stirring something in a pan. It smelled delicious.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, collapsing in the nearest chair at the kitchen table, his head dropped into his hands in exhaustion. Even after his impromptu nap in the truck, he still felt like he needed another eight hours sleep. “Inventory took way longer than usual and then I passed out in the truck.” He shook his head, letting his obvious exhaustion explain the rest to her.

“It’s fine.”

He looked up and glanced at her stiff back. She hadn’t turned back to look at him, was completely focused on whatever she cooked on the stove.

Her tone said it absolutely was not fine.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I’d been awake for over twenty-six hours.”

“Elain had to reschedule a shoot with a client tonight. She was expecting you to come pick up Nyx after you got off and got some sleep.”

He cringed. Nesta had texted him around ten, while he was still focused on inventory, asking him to get Nyx from Elain before three. He didn’t ask why, had honestly forgotten she’d even texted him.

“I’ll call her later, I’ll apologize,” he sighed.

Nesta turned abruptly and tossed the towel she was using to hold the warm handle on the counter. She was pissed, he’d seen that look in her eyes more than once. “I get that you worked and you were tired, but you have to be more responsible, Cassian.”

“I said I was fucking sorry,” he said, standing. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep in my truck, but I did. I’m fucking sorry.”

She rolled her eyes, but turned back to the stove.

Cassian scoffed, and was nearly ready to bite her head off, but then Nyx’s soft cries came from the living room.

“He fell asleep in the pack and play,” Nesta said, continuing to stir what she had on the stove.

Cassian took that as his dismissal. He hurried into the living room and picked up Nyx, who was standing up in his pack and play, gripping the edge. When he saw Cassian, his hands shot straight in the air.

“Hey buddy,” he said, quietly, as he lifted Nyx out of his pack and play. Nyx instantly relaxed in his arms, laying his head on Cassian’s shoulder.

“He’s probably hungry,” Nesta said, as the boys made their way back into the kitchen.

“I’m aware,” Cassian snapped.

Nesta’s shoulders tensed.

Cassian said nothing more as he opened the fridge and took out some leftover mashed potatoes, Nyx’s favorite.

“He should have some kind of protein with that,” Nesta said, her back still to them.

Cassian spun around, exasperated. “Shit, anything else you’d like to add?”

She said nothing, pretending he didn’t even speak. Cassian didn’t say anything else, but he fixed him a bottle, and set Nyx in his high chair. As Cassian shook it, Nyx held out his hands, reaching for it. He gave it to him, turning to the microwave to heat up the potatoes.

He heard plates being set down at the table and found Nesta setting two plates full of stir fry on the table.

He hesitated, but moved Nyx’s high chair closer to the table. He took the already empty bottle from him and got a small spoonful of potatoes for him. He quietly said, “You didn’t need to cook for me,” as he fed Nyx.

“I made too much,” she replied, simply, sitting across from him. She didn’t meet his eyes as she took a bite.

He watched as her eyelashes fluttered in satisfaction.

As Nyx grabbed his bowl from the end of his high chair and stuck his face into it, Cassian looked down at his own plate, at the steak, broccoli, peppers, peeled carrots, and snap peas that sat before him.

It smelled delicious.

He hesitantly took a bite as Nyx clapped his hands and began to babble.

“Afraid I may poison you?” Nesta asked.

Cassian blinked, meeting her eyes. They remained like that for a moment, staring at one another, then Cassian took another bite. “It’s good. Thanks.”

“I made too much,” she repeated. “Cut Nyx up some of the steak. It’s tender enough for him to eat, just make sure the pieces are tiny. The broccoli, too. He likes broccoli.”

Cassian did as he was told without a word. He set the food in front of Nyx, who instantly had his chubby little hands on them.

“Don’t think I’ll be cooking every night,” Nesta said, in the middle of their otherwise silent meal.

“I wouldn’t think of it,” Cassian said, then cleared his throat. “I can cook sometimes, too. I’m not bad in the kitchen.” A look crossed Nesta’s face that said she didn’t quite believe that statement.

“I make a mean breakfast,” he said, after chewing through another bite. “I’ll show you. We’ll do breakfast for dinner one night.”

Nesta nodded, but Cassian couldn’t tell if that was confirmation or just agreeing to shut him up. After a minute, she set down her fork and cleared her throat. “Speaking of breakfast, I’d prefer to not share the table with any friends you may bring home.”

Cassian’s brows lowered, not fully understanding. And then what she was saying clicked and he was coughing around the bite of food he’d been swallowing. He drank from the glass of water he’d grabbed, and cleared his throat, ensuring he could breathe. “I don’t see how that’s any of your concern.”

“If I live here, it is my concern,” she said, going right back to eating, as if she hadn’t just brought up an extremely unexpected topic. “I don’t want Nyx to see a revolving door of women leaving either, he doesn’t need to get the wrong idea.”

Cassian could only stare at her, though when Nyx heard his name, he paused his eating to look up at her. He finally said, “He’s one, first of all, so he has no idea what that would even mean, and secondly, I can have whoever the hell I want here, and they can stay for breakfast. I live here, too.”

“Would you care to see an endless string of men coming out of my bedroom every morning?” Nesta asked, her tone light, but her eyes full of hellfire.

Cassian’s chewing slowed. No, he wouldn’t care to see that, but he’d never admit it. He wasn’t even one to bring women home...well, at least not often, but apparently she thought of him as some unhinged casanova.

“As long as you ask me to join, I don’t care who you bring home,” Cassian said.

Now it was Nesta’s turn to choke on the bite of steak she just took. Her cheeks turned a bright shade of red as her eyes watered. After catching her breath and taking a long drink of water, she said, “That’s inappropriate.”

Nyx giggled, his lips covered in mashed potatoes, as if Nesta had just said the most hilarious thing in the world.

He took one last bite of his food before standing and carrying his plate over to the sink. “You don’t bring up my sex life and I won’t bring up yours. Deal?”

“Fine,” she said, picking up her plate as well and dropping it next to his on the counter. “You take care of the dishes, I’ll give Nyx his bath.”

“Fine.” That seemed to be their word to end conversations, as most of them ended with one of them snapping the word at the other, and it being repeated right back to them.

He wanted to fling more insults at her, wanted to snap that he wasn’t the man-whore she apparently thought he was. He never had been, despite the obscene amount of those stupid condoms she’d seen in his glove box all those years ago. But he knew she wouldn’t believe him.

He heard her unclipping Nyx’s high chair and then she was carrying him upstairs. Cassian was already wrist deep in soapy water when he heard the bathtub running from upstairs.

It was then that he realized he had originally told Nesta that he would give Nyx a bath tonight.

He didn’t pick him up from Elain’s.

He didn’t give him a bath like he said he would.

Maybe Nesta was right.

Maybe he was just setting himself up for failure.

As he scrubbed at the dishes, Cassian felt that sense of failure wash over him and sent a thought to Rhysand, wherever he was, hoping that his oldest friend wasn’t as disappointed in him as he was.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #nessian #nesta archeron #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #cassian #snacmc