#so i had to restart my game | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

horrornvnfan · 10 months

Text

The First Night

I wrote another Restart Heart Fanfic! This takes place on Day 1 of the game, and is starring my MC, Maria Dust, and Ezra Galverton. If you're interested in my MC in the context of this game, click here. Since some scenes from the game are included, a few lines (spoken and action) are used here. Please check out this game and support the dev, it's really great! @restartheartvn.

————————————————————————

Ezra Galverton was someone you never quite had words for.

He was someone you admired since you met him. Confident and composed, playful yet still so cool. He was always amiable with you, and his fashion sense was killer. You have asked them more than once where he got his earrings and necklaces, and he'd always answer warmly at your enthusiasm.

But there was always something else about Ezra, something you couldn't quite name, in the way he looked at you from time to time.

It mostly made you think of sadness.

In the few months you've known them, that look has tugged at your heart, a gentle pull of concern for Ezra and whatever it is he was feeling. But you weren't true friends. It wasn't your place to intrude or ask. So all you could do was give him your sincerity and friendliness whenever you saw them in the store.

Tonight, though, you learned how considerate Ezra was, treating you, Sammy, and Blaire on this spur of the moment café outing they had planned just to make you feel better after your breakup.

But that's not the only thing you about Ezra learned tonight.

On the beach, as he comforted you over what happened with Kenneth and Sarah, (you were stunned that he even knew, but he explained himself), you realized exactly how intense their stare was.

His eyes held… something unspoken, but strong. Longing? Desire? Despair?

He did say earlier tonight that he was captivated by you, that he liked you. You laughed when he did, sure he was just messing around, but now you weren't certain.

And then you asked him a question. You asked him if he wanted to come back to your place.

You still weren't sure why you did.

You generally had little to no interest in sex, and you usually had a disdain for people touching you in any capacity. Besides your family, Steph and Kenneth were the only people you felt comfortable touching you, who you liked to have touch you. A hug, a hand hold, a cuddle, an arm around your shoulders… a kiss.

But Kenneth revolted you now. Your skin felt stained, burned even, on every inch where he had touched you throughout your relationship. You wanted to feel cleansed of him.

So in a fit of reckless loneliness, you invited a beautiful acquaintance back to your apartment for a one night stand.

Ezra was cool as ever, smoothly accepting your request and walking you home. Your face burned every time you got the nerve to glance at him, excited and embarrassed yet still so deeply unsure. Ezra smiled at you every time your eyes met. He was simultaneously reassuring and cheeky about this.

The walk was too short, and your apartment building loomed in front of the two of you, and suddenly your body felt very cold. Any thrill of rebelliousness that came with all this had all but vanished as you were faced with the very sharp reality of sleeping with Ezra.

Still avoiding his gaze, you led them through the building, up the elevator, and finally to your front door, but all the while, the sudden discomfort in your chest at this only grew worse.

Your apartment door unlocks, and the two of you step inside. You notice that Chris's keys are still gone. "My roommate isn't here, so we should be fine…"

You feel gentle hands slip around your waist, sending a shiver up your spine. Your skin tingles beneath your clothes at the feeling.

"I think it would be fine even if they were here, right?" His head rests on your shoulder, and he smiles at you. You look away from him for a moment. Your mouth feels dry. You don't know what to say. You don't know how to feel about the contact, but it isn't as liberating as you were hoping it'd be.

"Um… my room is down this hall here," you say while trying and failing to sound composed.

Ezra chuckles and pulls off of you for a moment. You're relieved when he does. You aren't upset with him. You're just frustrated that of all times for your discomfort for physical contact to flare up, it's happening now.

As the two of you enter your bedroom, you realize that it's still messy since you forgot to make your bed this morning. Great, another thing to be embarrassed by. Why can't things go your way right now?

You awkwardly try to make your bed when Ezra comes up behind you and leans against you, placing a hand over yours. You glance at them, and they're still smiling at you, relaxed and a bit coy. "We are just gonna mess it up anyways, right?"

His body is pressed against yours. It doesn't feel… bad. But your heart isn't beating faster because you're happy about it.

"Can I kiss you?" He's so pretty when he asks. You can't answer him.

Right now, right in this moment, you're powerfully overwhelmed, by the feeling of touch, by the idea of this going further and having to experience more touch, and by… by everything you had to go through last night and every emotion you've repressed about it.

It's too much for you.

This won't make you feel better.

You carefully pull away, and you try to smile at Ezra despite knowing how nervous you must look. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

He looks surprised only for a moment before he looks reassuring again, completely unoffended by your rejection. "Of course, I don't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with, okay?"

You're grateful. You step a bit further away, rubbing your arm, and resisting the urge to scratch at your skin. "Thank you…"

He smiles, a hint of levity on his features, and asks "Do you want me to hold you…or?"

"Oh, no," you say, laughing unsteadily at their repeat of their earlier question. "I think I'll just start to cry if you hug me right now."

You know instantly you shouldn't have said that.

His face falls into concern and he takes a short step away from you. You curse yourself, you curse the tears pricking your eyes already, and you curse the shudder that runs through you as you try to hold in your awful, awful feelings.

"I mean," you say quickly, "N-Not to say that that's anything to do with you, because it isn't. You've been very nice to me tonight, and perfectly respectful. I think…" your words crack. "I think I'm much more upset than I realized. I should've known I'd be like this tonight, everything just happened, I don't know why-- I shouldn't have invited you here. That wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry, I--"

"Maria, you have nothing to apologize to me for." Ezra's smooth voice stops your rambling, and you go quiet, focused on fixing your breathing. Ezra leans over slightly, trying to look at your face despite you bowing your head. You realize he's waiting for you to look at him, so begrudgingly, you lift your gaze to meet his imploring eyes. Their face softens when you do. "I'm really sorry that you're going through all of this."

You open your mouth to speak, but finding no words, you close it and turn your head, rubbing away the few tears that leaked from your eyes. Mercifully, it's enough, and you are not crying. You're upset, but not panicking. Your breathing begins to even out.

Seeing that you've calmed down a bit, he stands straighter, his face full of nothing but genuine compassion for you. "Do you want to talk about it?" they ask soothingly, as if they will easily accept whatever you have to say. They sound so thoughtful that you actually feel able to.

"I wouldn't know what to say," you manage, and then you sigh. "…I'm miserable. I'm furious. I feel like a mess. Everything is horrible and I can't even begin to think about what to do about it all. It's all... so much and I don't want any of it."

"Sounds like you have a lot to say," Ezra teases and you chuckle. He steps closer to you; not too close that you're on put back on edge. "Sugar, you're going through something that's bound to effect you deeply, and you're entitled to everything you feel about it. You have the right to process it however you need to."

"I have no idea how I need to process it," you say honestly, because you don't. "My feelings are a mystery to me half the time, you know. Or maybe… it's more like I try to not have feelings because the conflict is just too imposing. If that makes any sense."

"Mm, I get what you mean." Ezra hummed thoughtfully, and then sat down on your bed before patting the blankets beside him, offering you space to join them while still giving you a wide enough berth to not overwhelm you again. You accept his offer and sit beside him, feeling your body deflate with the motion.

There's quiet for a moment, and then you speak again. "…I don't know how I can handle facing everyone again. Especially not…" your voice hardens and trails off.

"Don't waste your worries on that prick," Ezra says with a barely withheld anger. "I'm not about to let your ex start shit with you."

"Kenneth can go fuck himself," you say bluntly, bringing out a startled laugh from Ezra. You continue, "I'm really not concerned about Kenneth right now. I probably should be, but I'm not. I'm concerned about Sarah. About my parents too."

And you had every reason to be worried about your family. Your family and Kenneth's family had so much riding on this wedding, on their ties to each other, and now that it was undone… was there really a way for you to cut ties with Kenneth without cutting ties with your parents? Or with Sarah, who betrayed you, who was pregnant with his baby? You felt like your world was on the verge of collapse, and if you were honest, the only person you felt might understand or be able to help you through it was Steph, who had been all but completely absent from your life for ages now, and--

You shake your head, as if physically dispelling the thoughts; you'd already climbed down from the verge of a panic attack you were on, and you don't need to work yourself up again. You change the subject. "This must be super weird for you, listening to me like this when we don't really know each other."

"We know each other well enough," Ezra said simply, making you quirk your eyebrow. He grins charmingly at you. "You know my favorite chocolate and about my sweet-tooth." You let out a little laugh at that. He's been good at making you laugh tonight. Then, Ezra takes a conspiratorial tone, and says, "And I know your biggest secret."

You sit up straighter, blinking in surprise and taking him completely seriously. "You do?"

Ezra nods solemnly. "You work in a chocolate shop… despite strongly disliking how chocolate tastes."

That one earned him a bigger laugh from you. You'd completely forgotten how you'd mentioned that to him once, offhandedly, probably months ago. He chuckles with you, until you both fall into a comfortable quiet.

Ezra scooted closer to you. "I know that we aren't close. But I'll be here for you whenever you need me, sugar."

You turned to face him better, looking him directly in his eyes, taking in every bit of his sincerity. They… really meant what they were saying. Ezra wasn't the least bit disappointed in you for a single thing that happened tonight. Not your uncharacteristic brazenness in inviting him over, nor your oppressive emotions and sensory overload pushing you to not only reject intimacy with him, but to spill your guts. He wasn't judging you or condemning you. He wasn't only being polite, either. Ezra was telling you that you could rely on him because he honestly cared.

Your heart felt warm, wholeheartedly appreciative. "Thank you, Ezra. Really. That-- All of this means a lot to me."

Ezra winks at you. "Anything for you, sugarcube." They shift, leaning closer to you, and there's the faintest shade of pink on their cheeks. "Do you… think I could give you a hug? Only if you're comfortable with it, I mean."

You consider this. Ezra wasn't your best friend, or your partner, or your family. Touch with Ezra didn't feel natural the way it did with them. But their presence was steadying, and while you were much calmer now, you wanted more of that, even just for a moment. You nod and lean closer, and his arms envelope you in a gentle, comforting embrace. He murmured reassurances and soothingly rubbed your back. You can't remember the last time you were held with tenderness like this. You hold them close in turn and let yourself relax into them. Minutes pass, and you almost find yourself dozing off in Ezra's hold, so you lean back slightly with a yawn.

Ezra chuckles at you as you separate, gently holding your forearms in his hands, still rubbing circles with this thumbs. "We should probably get some sleep now."

"Do you want to leave?" You look them in the eyes. "I know it's late, so you are welcome to spend the night here, if you want."

Ezra thought it over for a moment before smiling down at you. "Yeah, I think I'll take you up on that. Thanks, Maria."

You look him up and down, calculating how to make the best of things for him. "Are you alright with sleeping in your clothes? I don't think I have anything that'll fit you, but…"

"I'm comfortable. I've slept in worse." They pause as they begin to look more intently at you, appraising you. "Do you… mind sharing a bed with me? I can take the couch if you'd prefer."

"I don't mind sharing a bed, it's wide enough for us both. Besides, I don't think you'd fit on my couch, being nine feet tall~" you quip.

Ezra laughs. "I'm twelve feet tall, actually. I thought you knew me better than that, Sugar~"

You both laugh over your silliness. Then, you send Ezra to the bathroom with a spare toothbrush to ready himself for the night, and fix your blankets and pillows so your bed is ready for two people instead of just you. He returns, and you take his place in the bathroom, washing your face, brushing your teeth, and putting on your pajamas.

Once you're ready, you return to the bedroom, where Ezra is already under the covers, scrolling on their phone. Seeing you reenter the room, they shut it off and put it down, smiling at you and reclining to get comfortable. You walk around the bed to your side -- how did Ezra guess which side of the bed you prefer to sleep on and automatically take the other? -- and climb under the covers yourself, snuggling into the blankets and pillows.

"Good night, Ezra."

"Night, sugarcube. Sweet dreams~"

You hum and roll onto your side, away from Ezra, and let your eyes falls shut. As you find yourself drifting further and further into sleep, you feel Ezra's arms wrap around you tenderly as you laid next to each other. In the dark, you couldn't see the light blush that fell upon his cheeks. Just before you finally fell asleep, you felt Ezra pull you closer and bury their face in your neck, and you felt at ease.

You had more words for Ezra Galverton, now. Ezra was a good and kind person, and Ezra was someone you wanted to know truly; and not just what his favorite chocolate was (mint chocolate).

Perhaps, one day, when your heart didn't ache so much, you could consider something more with them. If he ever wanted as much, anyways. But that was something to think of another time.

You had all the time in the world.

#i'm really pleased with how this turned out! i hope it's good. i've had this idea on my mind for a while ;v;#i want ezra and maria to have a good relationship throughout the game regardless of if they date #so them having a heart to heart in this day 1 scene seems very sweet to me! i just wonder if i captured their characters well #restart heart #my post #MC: Maria Fielding #my writing

44 notes · View notes

jacqcrisis · 4 months

Text

Backstory for Ronan: He started out as a mercenary/soldier for hire. It's a rather normal career for a dragonborn; being raised in a culture of constantly bettering oneself in the name of self discipline, self improvement, and honor encourages many a dragonborn leaving the clan for a few years to gain martial experience in a more hands on manner. Ronan was no exception, setting out at a young age to hone his capabilities.

And Ronan was good at it. He was ruthless, dominating, reveling in the violence inherit in his chosen career which only fueled his arrogance and competitive nature. It garnered him a precarious reputation; he was reliable and single minded in his determination to complete any job, but he was difficult to work with, expecting perfection from his company and any failure to live up to it would bring about his wrath. Still, his success rate and his talent were seen as worth the cruel unforgiving man they were attached to.

At some point, after being injured, he met and fell in with a cleric of Bahamut, a half-elf whom he very much and very openly adored, choosing to set down roots in the city the cleric's temple was located in. The cleric did good for him, soothing the hard edges and encouraging a more thoughtful approach that was still in line with his dragonborn culture, one he'd mostly dismissed when he first set out. It was a deep love he felt and Ronan was genuinely trying for the sake of it.

But love can't fix everything. He was still prone to violence. Still prone to competition. Still an arrogant asshole and one step too far ended in a needless skirmish that his company barely came out on top of at the sacrifice of a few lives including his beloved.

Ronan was devastated, as one could imagine. That first storm of anger had nowhere to go but at himself as everyone else responsible was dead. He'd lost everything; his honor broken, and all he was left with was himself, and that wasn't worth much. The inital rage morphed into grief, self doubt, and in that miasma, he decided to take up the mantle of cleric, enfolding himself into worship of a diety he cared not for before in the name of his fallen love and in the hopes of crafting a better version of the man he was.

Ronan found solace in a religious self-isolation, doing as needed for his training for the town around his temple, but keeping mostly to himself. Years passed, he aged and matured, that hot-headed, angry nature cooling, extracted and replaced with something more patient and thoughtful as he became an intermediary to Bahamut. There was peace in healing, in helping people as his god demanded, but that part of him buried deep under the peace that reveled in combat found itself hungering, rarely satiated by the rare call to banish anything undead that found itself above the ground once more.

But that isolated peace could not last, kidnapped onto a mind flayer ship and now facing a new realization as he finds himself in the company of people other than priests and surrounded by problems more perilous than farming accidents and the rogue undead. He'd never realized how lonely, how bored he'd been stuck in that temple and Bahamut has been quiet since having the tadpole put into his head. He has to wonder as it becomes apparent the old Ronan was not as buried as he thought:

How much if himself can he let back into the light?

#jacq writes #finally wrote it out #his voice is also several octaves deeper than whats in game #he was a merc from 18 to 25ish #and a cleric from 25 to now at about 36 #i had to restart my game to a point 8 hours ago #because i locked myself accidentally put of the astarion feeding on you mechanic #by selecting a dialogue option not even related to it #so thats fun #my boy here has been in religious self isolation and now hes single and ready to mingle #and beat ass

9 notes · View notes