#so im just trying to not go crazy heh and tumblr always has a way of making me spiral even more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missingyou77 · 1 year

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12/10 11:52PM

today was very weird for me. i mean i get manic often but not like this. my eyes have never been so dilated from being manic. but when im manic i always try to take advantage of it and do what ive been putting off. i was on my phone til around 2am, then i started manic cleaning my room til 9am. my room wasnt very messy to begin with, but with my autism, cleaning is SO overwhelming. it could be the easiest job for someone to do but just the site of my messy room and knowing i was going to try to clean it would put me on the verge of tears. ffs i paced around my room for a good 5 minutes with a shoe almost crying not knowing where to put it. i tried on almost every article of clothing i own while cleaning my room, and i had to just try everything i found in my room. such as perfume, makeup, video games i lost, whatever. it took me hours to clean because my brain is so stupid.

my mom called me and told me she had forgotten her vape at her house before leaving for work so she asked if i could bring it to her and she would give me some gas money. so i did that and my dad had also given me some money so i bought gas and a hair straightener, i cut my bangs yesterday so i need to straighten them to look good. on my way home from that i got that god complex and decided im over my ex.

my friend picked me up and i went out of town with her, her friend, and 2 of our guy friends. we went to the hotsprings and it was amazing. it was snowing but we were warm. i live in a v small town so theres no fast food so we also got some mcdonalds. her friend was very nice, she sat next to me the whole way i mean there was 5 of us in that tiny car so there wasnt much room but we were talking the whole way and shes rlly cool.

then i got home and ate dinner with my family and my sister and her boyfriend came over so that was nice.

my dad bought a fake christmas tree this year, its white and it has lights attached to it so i set that up on the table. its a small one. we have to have it up because we have 8 wiener dogs who r very annoying and they like to ruin everything. theyre so cute so its fine but jfc.

this time of year is sad for me, just like a lot of people. but its hard for me because i feel like nothing will ever be the same. im not wrong there, i mean last year i was probably wrapped up with my ex in his bed and feeling complete bliss. but now i am in my bed, writing about my day on tumblr. oh how the tables turn. nor will anyone read this im sure. this is mainly for me tbh, but it would be cool if someone gaf enough to read this shit. not like my lift is crazy, im just a alcoholic teenager going through a breakup. boohoo.

now i am on the phone with this boy. hes nice, i met him back in 2020 but we stopped talking for a while. last night while we were on call, i asked if we could play fortnite but i said it in some sort of pouty voice so he said “heh. youre cute”. does that mean he likes me? i mean i cant get in a relationship or anything. i need to work on myself or smth but i used to like him a lot and i like him now too. its just different now because of my trauma and im scared. but he is really nice.

anyways if u read this far, i love you.

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madfantasy · 3 years

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Dear blogging

How are you today? Sending all the good vibes towards you. I feel much at ease as I had payed for Internet last minute just now (its thanks to you🙏💛) and happy to say Mani will be with you for another month🌟

(Just a small reminder I'm open for commissions to save up for the next one🍀)

Im just going to blab bout life and me art as usual, if you graciously don't mind c':

☆ I'm much at ease, it's the raining seasons in the bare deserts and I'm loving it(Actually, just came in from losing it a bit under the rain, heh) Not the part where it leaked into my carpeted room whilst getting fiercer :' I'm not particularly fond of cold weather, either. I almost enter dull stage of hibernation, being tightly wrapped with blankets and constantly breathing in cold air. I like to muse being born on December does a cold blooded creature make, hehe. But the quiet is much appreciated. They are almost drowsy all the time and I've got the chance to listened to lots of Hercule Poirot. Ironically my last random chapter was him having an old fashioned English Christmas, and it gave me a crave for puddings I haven't got the slightest idea how they taste lo'

I've missed the sun for almost a month and a half now, in much arguments over restricting the yard at first, but now it was a sleep issue. I finally woken up today to see the sun and felt very much.. "yes, I'm in my element " brighter feel

Speaking of which; I dedicate this song for you dears 💛💛🔥

youtube

And also this bug i found if ur interested

☆ I've also, naturally, been sketch-storming with my new tablet! I was simply tittering over all the new discoveries I've been making, while also being gobsmacked at how much painfully sore some side are lacking, and some I had no clue what I'm supposed to do with it, like confused grumpy grand-er

For example;

I love how crystal clear it is, but I guess I can now see the brush's repeating circle pixel and pattern which makes it too artificial for my taste and hender my trust in making strokes. I suppose its nice to zoom out just to be sure my process is fine or whatever idk :'

The softwares DO NOT lag when the canvas is big! Ugh, means I can fatten up the size of my pictures easily. But that's surely eats up the storage, and I found out last minute that ipad doesn't have sd slots, unless you have to buy an adapter. Which is the main lack in this stuff. Everything costs. You want to sneeze while holding the tablet? You can't till u buy a permit.

So yeah, my favourite drawing program there, Clip Studio Paint, is can only used by annual/ monthly subscription licence, while its one-time licences is only for windows, means having to by different licences for different systems. So I'm using the free month trail to get by for now, so be sure to read carefully which on is which before purchasing. ProCreate is a one time purchase, tho. And it has TIME LAPS VIDS idk why I go crazy but I love the fact that I can record my art with no effort or pause (cuz I can never sit 1 hr continuously, honestly), and you can see my horribly-edited vid practices on tiktok or insta as @MadFantasy_ . But as we were saying, they even more double storage intake hehe. Love how ridiculously fancy the lines smoothing on it, I can act up as a calligrapher easy and I'm a joke at it! Also I'm thinking of trying Craft Pro as well, is a one time purchase too. Will go through it in details when I cover all the corners cx

"Are you with me or are we together "

Sharing files between my pc and ipad is too much work, found an easy way I'm loving already, go to SnapeDrop dot net on both pc and ipad and basically all the devices on your network can share stuff! Instead of me pluging it and turning the app or sending by mail, ugh

If you're used to shortcuts, good luck being fast on it unless you get a keyboard, or in my case, screen on keyboard im looking an app for, and by mentioning apps

Regional restrictions, I couldn't download tumblr cause its not available in my region 8L

And alot of other things to be expected, really with more to share if its not much of an annoyance cx

I hope days brings you more ease and what much you desire my dears, happy everything you celebrate 🌋🔥🔥💛🙌

Always sending my love

Mani

3.12.2020 8 pm

#text #drawing journal #personal #Youtube

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hongism · 3 years

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oh caly. i finally FINALLY read moc 40! literally seconds ago i just finished it!! i have so much to say but also nothing to say im so speechless??????? im sorry its taken me so long to read and send an ask i miss you dearly but life has again been busy and crazy rn and i honestly havent even been on tumblr much which is saying a lot bc im usually here 24/7 lol but anywaysss lets get into huh~

hi solar bestie im finally here eEEEEE sorry it took me so long but i’ve got some time today so im getting shit DONE!!!! but pLS never feel obliged to send asks, life comes first, life is more important, pls take care of yourself first and foremost!!!! okay ilysm bestie 👹💞💓

lord lets start with my feelings bc from the very beginning of the chapter my adrenaline was going, sis was on EDGE like i couldnt make my eyes move fast enough to read and let the break in take place!!! i legit was like clutching my pearls waiting for all hell to break loose!! the conversations y/n has with hongjoong are probably one of my fav parts of this whole story bc it just gets so raw like i love his character SO much hes honestly like top 3 fav characters in mists fr but like everything that comes out of his mouth i have like a guttural reaction to and its the best ugh!! okay so i took a few screenshots of moments i wanted to scream about and the first one was when joong pressed up against y/n to get her to phase through the door to unlock it idk man but that whole scene was fantastic and i liveddd!! just the entire break in up until her dream was just so fucking good like the writing sis!! ILL SAY IT AGAIN YOU MF QUEEN OF FANTASY AND SCIFI!!! no ones doing it like you!!!!!

feelings ! okay ! im GLAD THAT U WERE ON EDGE BUT IM ALSO SORRY!!! eeee it makes me happy to hear the emotions were written well enough for you to feel them like that aaaaa but hello omg one of your fave parts??? 🥺🥺 im so glad thank u :(( i too have an absolute guttural and visceral reaction to anything hongjoong does and says in mists too HAHHAHAH but fr that phase scene with them pressed up against each other mmmmmm yeah mhm self indulgent v needed eeeeee

okay now onto san. bc up until the past few chapters we all know ive been a hard hwa x yn shipper but ohohoho that has changed bc the reunion!!!!!!!! FUCK it hurt so good it actually had me crying like yeah i got tear drops on my phone!!!! also the heated convo with hwa after they got to the clinic yeah i FELT that it was so good

OHOHOHO another conversion to the moc san x yn ship :3 i’m guilty of actively trying to get more people to jump aboard the san x yn ship i’ll admit ✋😔 but TEARDROPS ON THE POHNE IM SORRY 😭😭😭😭 im so glad it was good tho thank u T-T

i screenshotted when yn went to se san after hwajoong left and when san was flirting with yn it was chefs kiss like mf could have been paralyzed and he was like ayeee shawty time for mouth to mouth?? just kidding…. unless🤪

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA PLS yeah i had to break it up in there u know me i love me some random humor 😌 you’ll be happy in the next chapter i guarantee 😏

oh and when san said “yn… my darling, come here” yeah i levitated. simple astral projected and screamed. that killed me in the best way

levitated. astral projected. SCREAMED! i love it that’s exactly what i was going for :3

AND THE LOVE CONFESSION??? ARE WE JOKING!,!,!,!!. I LIVED I LOVED IT WAS THE BEST LIKE I THINK IT WAS PERFECT! PERFECT TIMING PERFECT PLACE IT WAS ALL PERFECT AND I SOBBED I REALLY SOBBED!!!!!! ugh caly can you like, idk, stop one upping yourself with these chapters bc somehow they always end up being better and better i just. good lord thank you for your brain 😤

eHEHEHHEHE THE LOVE CONFESSION! i was SO worried about it being ???? im not sure, i was just worried that it wouldn’t fit or feel right in the mood or context but when i started writing it it just came out of me and just yeeted out there idek what came over me at ALL

as always, i love you so much!!!! oh and ill be sending a long ask soon about drag race bc i finally caught up on that too!!! - solar🌙

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

i LOVE YOU SOSO MUCH !! pls remember to drink lots of water oki and don’t forget to eat heh i’m curious to know what you thought of the recent drag race eps!!!

#mists of celeste #moc: spoilers #solar🌙

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ts-2020-olympics · 4 years

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EPISODE 1 - “My Legs Were Not Qwoperating” - Kathy (Part 1)

One world ! 24 other players ! I

I'm too old to be here but... it's happening! I made it on Tumblr Survivor mom! Determined to not be first boot!

Also I'm aligning with Jordan Pines because I love chaos and these newbies won't know what hit them

Well this is certainly something. I'm going to try out seeing who pms me without me saying anything. I'll pick up the activity tomorrow, so it doesn't really affect me, let's see if anyone takes the initiative so I don't have to. If I get dragged into a majority alliance then that's cool. I don't think that this group is great in terms of teamwork as of yet, but we'll see. There's so many tribes our chances of going to tribal are pretty slim, even if we suck. We're kindof underdogs, so sucking might not be excusable.

First day of surviving the Survivor survivorship...survivor. These forms are going to take some time to get used to, but I'll manage. Got conversations from Beck and Sammy so far - might scope the field, see what's out there. Or, I can lay low and do what I need to do for my team until merge hits.

i actually really like the people on my tribe and i'm excited because i have hopes for us. i've also made some nice friends so far and i'm hoping that pays off later but even if it doesn't i'm glad my first day in a skype survivor org has been positive! woo!

Fuck this complicated ass first challenge

youtube

Hello! Guess whose back? It me! Anyway, it’s been a fun first night. Things are going okay. I am worried a little bit about the One World mess, I don’t want to come off too social right now but at the same time I need to secure a good place. So here is the breakdown analysis of my tribe: Chris Stoner: hello ???? I didn’t know they let stoners into the Olympics, didn’t we drug test? I haven’t spoken to him much but we did play Crossroads together although not really together. Anyway, fun to see him. Don’t know if I’d work with him but I guess that’s to be determined. Karen: KARENNNNN! I wasn’t expecting to see them here but now that it’s happening I am very glad to have someone who I have worked with before around, and a solid foundation of working together. Right away I felt like I had someone who had my back and I hope I’m not misreading that, because Karen and I always seem to work together until a certain point. Hopefully we can work together longer than usual this time! Kevin: uhhh soooooo love Kevin but we don’t have the best track record? He was in Circle with me we had a little fight where I may have called him a racist for being mad at Asya anyway it SEEMS as though that’s not an issue anymore and I think we might be able to work something out. I don’t wanna have to vote Kevin out before Stoner or Tommy. Tommy: ok no offense to this man but he is so hard to talk to so far. Every conversation feels flat and even though we are talking about subjects I could go on about for a while, it feels like the convos are going nowhere. I feel like there’s a sort of slight bond between Karen, Kevin and I but then Tommy and Stoner are kind of...hopefully who they’d want to kill off first, I’m probably wildly misreading every situation rn. Outside of my tribe I’ve talked to Juls who I am going to take under my wing as my daughter and she will win this season if I don’t get to! I love her so much she reminds me of my old school Skype babies and I feel like a cool mom when I talk to her I’ve also talked to beck briefly, KING love him bc he’s dating Asya and I don’t necessarily want to bond based on that. I also know beck is a good as game player bc I’ve watched him play so......I’m gonna be nice and observant and maybe we can establish a threat/threat symbiotic relationship. I also talked to Jacob C. who I love so much and he and I have been comparing some notes. He’s already told me Sammy has an idol that he can only use for three rounds so heh heh heh. OH SPEAKING OF SAMMY I love that man he’s such a doll and I really hope we can work together if I get far. At this point I love this cast but I really feel like I am not gonna vibe with the newbies, they’re like very....quiet in the PM’s but loud in the one world chat? I find that backwards. I’m hoping the newbies I do like will be able to get rid of the newbies I don’t like so that when we merge the newbies I do like will help me get rid of the returnees I don’t wanna work with. That’s what we are manifesting, 2020 vision yeehaw.

Showmance, eh? I might play dumb, surprise them all later? I could play the role of disposable pawn while possibly orchestrating things behind the shadows. Could be a long, long shot, but it could work.

AAAAHHHHH IM HERE HI MOM IM ON TV IM SO EXCITED AND I CANT WAIT FOR EVERYTHING IM ALSO SCARED AS FUCK CUS EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THESE THINGS WORK AND I DONT

omg okay this is all so crazy i love it i can’t stop shaking AAAAHHH dhdkshHSJDHEVSJbokayOKAY so like i LOOOVE my tribe we’re the fuckin best tribe here cus we’re all so cool like we’re the FRIENDSHIP tribe and being able to make friends is a useful skill in this game like no offense but being the “dominant” tribe or “champions” tribe or whatever tbh it’s pretty unskinny bc that’s a target on you forever whereas my tribe we’re all friendly and trusting!! 💖💞 xoxo lets hold hands all the way to finale and have fun! 🌈✨

okay i forgot to talk about strategy lol anyways yeah I looOOOVve everyone on my tribe and that’s great but also sucks because there’s only 5 of us, it just takes 3 votes to send you out so I wish there was some oblivious cocky dick on our tribe we all could hate so we’d have an easy first vote like that guy Billy.. why is he on the respect tribe¿? anyways i love everyone but I think Will and I are becoming the closest we talked for a lil while last night yknow things got a little steamy 🥰😩 (you’ll have to pay for ts all access for that footage 😘) we bonded really well and I think for this first vote if we lose, Will and I are definitely gonna be voting together.

Alright, so here we are at the 2020 Olympics. I came in as a last minute replacement, so I feel like I have to prove myself more than some others who applied weeks before hand and made the cut. As well, got some past players, and past winners, which makes the competition stakes that much greater this season. Then, to top it all off, at the One World style camp, so can talk to everyone which is definitely a nice touch. Now, regards to my tribe, I honestly like the people on my tribe, and find that we're going to be a solid crew. Here is my actual impressions on my tribe mates thus far though: Beck - Probably one I recognize most, just due to being in a discord org vl with her, definitely seems like a friendly gal, and when time is right, I feel she could end up being my closest ally on the tribe Ben - Probably one so far who I have talked the most too, and I feel like we're connecting alright thus far, so going to keep building up a bond with him and his route could end up being as my first ally of these Olympics. Kathy - Haven't spoken one on one with her yet, just in the tribe chat somewhat and main chat, which she definitely seems like a cool person, and hoping to get to know her a bit better, but terms of this game, hard to say if we'll be on same side or not. Bailey - Speaking with her a little, but kind of same lines as Kathy currently with her, just not sure if Bailey will end up being an ally who will be with me, or someone who will be against me. Overall, time will tell how this game goes, but hopefully it goes well for me and I come out with at least something worth while.

HOLY SHIT I FOUND AN ADVANTAGE OH MY GOD!!!!! I GOT AN ADVANTAGE ON DAY FUCKIN TWO OF MY FIRST SURVIVOR EVERR HOLY SHIT!!!! okay so it says i can get an extra vote IF at the next tribal i decide to NOT vote and save that vote for later so i’d have an extra vote. Now the hard part is making my first tribal an easy vote so i can save my own.. hopefully i’ll be able to do this! i’m so scared ohmygod

okay i’m in a serious predicament... so I may not vote at the next tribal meaning there’s only 4 votes. While looking at the cast reveal i discovered something.. Nik is a drag queen, Eve also does drag as well... what if they applied together from some drag community or are bonding because of that. That’s 2 votes together already on a tribe of five.. that’s dangerous especially when I’m not allied with either of them! If they vote together and i don’t vote... they’d have half the votes already and may get rid of my ally Will! I’m hoping to god they don’t know each other but if they are aligned then Will or I could be out! I want this advantage but i don’t know if i can take it.... fuuUUUUCK

I’m really enjoying my tribe and I think that the people in this game are super awesome! However with that being said, I can definitely see who could potentially be an issue down the line and I’m keeping my eyes peeled for them!

whoa. this game is a lot. I managed to message everyone on day one because I just rely on my social abilities. I tried to be as relatable as possible to everyone but literally some people were dead fish. Some newbies have asked me for advice already and they said returners are intimidating so I said "I mean only the returners that won" hahah and they were like "oh yeah so true" sorry I threw y'all under the bus. But ummm kathy is playing and we are from the same hometown so I am hoping we end up on same tribe sometime soon. I love juls too!! OH AND JACOB IS MY RIDE OR DIE. we had a tribe call and I was so uncomfortable because I felt like I had nothing to add to the conversation. my fav 2 on my tribe are Jacob and Caeleb tho! umm okay last thing I searched for the idol....AND BIH ON DA FIRST TRY I GOT ONE BLSFSI only good for next three tribals I attend tho. I told Jacob. it was in a yellow condom. okay sorry this was very choppy I just wanted to get it all out.

This tribe seems to be working fine together, while I'm still terrified of losing, I think we stand a fighting shot. This cool little band of misfits would be a cool sight. I've kept my quiet for the first day, time to ramp things up just a tad. I've talked to Landen and I feel pretty alright about him, and given this tribe is as small as my will to life after playing QWOP, we only need one more! Landen's probably talking to everyone, so I just need to seal the deal with him. I think my challenge performance will suffice for being enough to keep me around, but I need a bit of a backup just in case. If we go to tribal, there's not a "stay UTR" option. It's either I'm in an alliance and I'm calling some shots, or I'm being (in)directly blindsided. But, I picked my strong suit in flash games for a reason fellas. The one world chat has quite a bit of activity. I'm quite and that's fine, if we swap I can readjust. If we go to tribal I'm sure I'll become just a tad more popular along with the other 9 that go. tldr:I'm winning duh

Ayo, tribe energy looking DOPE AS HELL BAY BAY! We all seem to be getting along pretty well, seeing as our communication during this challenge is pretty dope! No bad personalities in sight. I gotta wonder though, how nervous do I have to be? I know for a damn fact if I start talking more to these people they gon' be fallin' as hard as underage kids seeing the hottest girl in school enter their club. Thing is though, I'm fresh meat coming into this, so any pre existing relationships in this game are like dust mites to me. Can't see em' but GOD DAMN they annoy me. Nonetheless, I gotta work my magic in case we go to Tribal. I ain't letting anybody take out a rookie, especially a rookie who has somethin' to prove, and someone who at his best is the damn king of the world. See me work bay bay!

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals

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angelixii · 6 years

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1-140 (anything you haven't answered already) - Felix

Oh, hello! Thanks for the ask!! 💕

3 fears - Spiders (I get frightened when I think about them) heights (slightly) and the public (anything like murder, kidnapped, ya know stupid people)

3 Things I love - Music, Idols, and animals

2 Turns on - ig Hats (like snapbacks) and glasses

2 Turns off - oof I don’t really know.. ig self absorbed or a fudge boy

My best friend - C: @straykids-sk (wuv you)

How tall am I - 5′2

What do I miss right now - My cat that passed away :c (her name was P.J)

Favourite color - Blue, red, and sometimes green

Do I have a crush - no not really

Favourite place - my home

What am I listening to right now - theres a website called asoftmurmur.com and it has noises like rain or waves and stuff like that

Shoe size - pretty sure 10 in US womens

Eye color - brown

Hair color - light-ish brown

Meaning behind my URL - I chose Felix cause hes my bias wrecker and hes angelic C:

Favourite song - Theres like a million but 5SOS’s She Looks So Perfect wil always be a favorite (idk why)

Favourite band - Ill just chose Stray Kids cause I don’t wanna write them all out

How I feel right now - kinda tired but ig ok

Someone I love - Ill say my best fren Georgia (@straykids-sk) cause i wuv her

My current relationship status - single and i kinda wanna stay that way for a while

My relationship with my parents - We all live in the same house and its just us (I have one other sister but she moved out. But shes here a lot tho) and we all get along well

Favorite season - probably Spring c:

Tattoos and piercing I have - none and I don’t really want any

Tattoos and piercing I want - ^^^

The reasons I joined Tumblr - Georgia wanted me to and I thought it would be fun (I was right c:)

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - no :/

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - oh heel no she my best fren I would never

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - when I have school like 20 minutes at max

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I did today

Where am I right now? - at my house on my laptop c:

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable level cause I’ve always had ear problems and they are sensitive (even tho I always have my earbuds in)

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yup

Am I excited for anything? - not that I can think of no

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - nope :/

How often do I wear a fake smile? - not THAT often

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - oooof I don’t think I could answer that question

What do I think about most? - probably k-pop

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind

What was the last lie I told? - It was kinda a joke but “i’ll do it because im the good child”

Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Eh depends on who it is but facetiming/video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - ghosts kinda and aliens, I mean sure we’ve barely discovered space, who knows whats out there

Do I believe in magic? - sometimes yeah

Do I believe in luck? - I mean yeah

What’s the weather like right now?- theres nothing really going on

What was the last book I’ve read? - uhhhhhh fully on my own (not in class)? The Maze Runner Scorch Trials

Do I have any nicknames? - Kassadoodle, Kassidilla, Kassy

Do I spend money or save it? - I’m trying to save as much as I can rn in my little money jar c:

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - nah

Favourite animal? - Lions and Fennec Foxes

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - uhhh im pretty sure saying goodbye to Georgia on video chat

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - oo um I cant really think of one rn :/

What is my favorite word? - yeet

My top 5 blogs on tumblr (not in any order)

@honeylixs

@zoxsu

@tinyfigureskater

@stray-kids-dork

@straykidsmate

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - I probably wouldn’t say anything cause im shy and afraid people would judge me on what I say c:

Do I have any relatives in jail? -not that I know of

What is my current desktop picture? - a pic of Bts

Had sex? Bought condoms? Gotten pregnant? Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Had job? Smoked weed? Smoked cigarettes? Drank alcohol?

no to ALL those questions C:

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope don’t think I could ever

Been overweight? - …

Been underweight? - no.

Gotten my heart broken? - nah

Been to prom? - nope

Been in airplane? - nope and I never want to really

Learned another language? - I take required (cause im one of the more intelligent kids in school. I know shocker right?) Spanish classes in school but im on summer break so I dont remember any c:

Wore make up?- nope

Dyed my hair? - nope

Had a surgery? - plenty of ear surgery and had my tonsils removed

Met someone famous? - nope

Stalked someone on a social network? - nope

Been fishing? - no but my dad has always wanted to take me and it sounds kinda fun

Been rejected by a crush? - nope never really had one and if I did I would never have the guts

What do I want for birthday? - ooo idk but i have to wait till next year anyway cause its already passed

Do I like my handwriting? - sometimes when my hand cooperates

Where do I want to live when older? - with my girl Georgia

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - nope ima good child (yeah ok suuureee)

What I’m really bad at - running :/

What my greatest achievments are - managing to keep straight A’s and I dont even study cause im online so

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “u bird cage” - Georgia c;

What I’d do if I won in a lottery - ooooooooof idk

What do I like about myself - uhhhhh heh ig my hair or eyes/eyelashes

My closest Tumblr friend - Georgia (yes I do know her irl but shes honestly the closet tumblr friend I have so)

Any question you’d like? - hmm idk

Are you outgoing or shy? - definitely shy, unless with people im close to then quite crazy

What kind of people are you attracted to? - funny, cute and nice people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - hA no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - kinda

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - oof idk

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “ohhhh no XDD” (sent to Georgia)

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - (I already answered this question and don’t wanna answer again)

Do you like it when people play with your hair? - yes I love when freinds at school did (once we were watching a movie in Spanish and my friend next to me was playing with my hair and I almost fell asleep heh)

Do you think there is life on other planets? - totally

Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t had one in forever

Do you like your neighbors? - only one cause I think im related to them somehow or they are to like my uncle

Where would you like to travel? - out of this hell hole country c:

Favorite part of your daily routine? - checking my tumblr and stanning talent

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - stomach

What do you do when you wake up? - check my notifications on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I wish it was more tan than it is (im quite pale)

Do you ever want to get married? - yeah

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yes but I hate pony tails so I never do it (I used to all the time as a kid)

Would you rather live without TV or music? - I rarely watch t.v anymore and listen to music almost all day so

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - I mean yeah

What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I dont really have one for clothes but I do like Walmart

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - I mean sometimes

Do you smile at strangers? - If the smile at me first yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not that I can remember no

Ever wished you were someone else? - no (as much as I hate myself no)

Favorite makeup brand? - son;t wear any so I dont got one

Last thing you ate? - a Reese cup

Ever won a competition? For what? - not a big one I can remeber no

Ever been in love? - c:

Facebook or Twitter? - dont have a fb and i barely use twitter anymore but twitter

Twitter or Tumblr? - DEFINITELy tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? - i mean its always on for bg noise and light so ig so

What color are your towels? - all kinds of colors

Favorite ice cream flavor? - either Strawberry with out the strawberries or cookie dough

First person you talked to today? - my mom

Last person you talked to today? - Georgia

Name a person you hate? - C: theres too many

Name a person you love? - once again, theres too many

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - C: theres too many

Do you tan a lot? - I barely go outside so thats a no

Have any pets? - too many

Do you type fast? - I mean kinda yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? - everything XD

Ever broken someone’s heart? - I highly doubt it

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - C:

Is cheating ever okay? - hell no

Do you believe in true love? - I mean sure

What your zodiac sign? - Pisces

Do you believe in ghosts? - why is this question on here twice?

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) - “…but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless.” Twilight - Breaking Dawn (Do NOt ask me why thats the closest book its not mine and ive never read it and i NEVER plan on it)

oof that took like two hours heh.. its now currently 2:18am. and im very tired

but thanks for the ask anyway love! Im sorry for the wait! I was busy today. But im probably going to go to bed now

#oof #anon ask #thanks for the ask love #love you anon #c:#this whole post looks like a mess I’m sorry

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randisnotonfire-blog · 7 years

Text

Supermarket Flowers Pt.1 Stan Uris X Reader

Summary: You work at your mom’s Supermarket in the floral aisle along with every other gift card and cards. One day a kid around your age shows up with the rest of his friends but he obviously likes you, he knows you at school but you never really met him up until that night. The next day he ends up giving you the flowers he bought for his “friend”.

Song: “Were my OTP” by Troye Sivan

Warnings: Major fluff, slight cursing bc of Richie as always, and some comedy? idk lol

Requested: Nope

A/n: Heey guess who’s back, back again. Randi’s back \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)/ lol im sorry xD for the cringe. But ye here ye go bc I am in a very fluffy mood :)

* * *

“S-slow down!” Bill called out to Stan as they were nearly racing down the road to the local supermarket. “Never!” Stan yelled to everyone else while trying to get in front of everyone on their bikes. You on the other hand were busy trying to rearrange every bouquet of vintage fresh looking tulips by color on the shelf, but yet still focusing you gave everyone who passed a small smile and a soft saying of “Hi” or “Hello” considering this was the most polite way to get some attention to the floral section of the supermarket your mum owned. Stan was still very eager to get there just to see if you were there working. Everyone of the Losers club got to the supermarket before it started pouring down rain like crazy, they ran inside pushing past people just because of Eddie freaking the hell out from the rain. “I could get a infection or a freaking disease from the germs in the rain Richie!” Eddie snapped at him, the people shopping tried their best to ignore the bickering from the group of boys. All of a sudden the song “Were my otp” by Troye Sivan turned on the radio, you tried to fight back the grin knowing that your good and only friend who worked here turned that song on. You rolled your eyes

Valentine's Day is creeping up on me Still staring at you on my computer screen Writing a fanfic in the middle of the night cause This will bring us closer right?

“Stan what the hell is on right now?” Eddie hit Stanley’s shoulder to get his attention. “I don’t know...” he mumbled in reply. “Ha its like they know!” Richie said somewhat loudly trying to get a joke out of this situation. “J-j-just go find h-her” Bill said impatiently.

"You've never met them!", the peasant cried "Shut the f*ck up, b*tch! Do you wanna die?" And I've told you before, are you deaf? I've fallen in love with a G-I-F

Stan finally spotted you after some searching, “In the flower section?” Eddie whispered to him as they tried to approach you with a ‘cool’ manner. “H-hey Y/n” Stan said making your head shot up with a smile. “Hi? Do I know you?” You said as you put the floral basket on the shelf. “Y-you’re in my algebra class...In school” Stan said quickly in a reply. You tried your best not to giggle from the song but all you had painted on your face was a cheeky grin, and some makeup...obviously heh. “Oh yeah...Stanley?” “You can call him Stan!” Eddie said fastly then scratched the back of his neck before getting a hit on the shoulder from Stan. “I don’t ever remember you being this confident...Stan...” He responded back with a nervous chuckle. “Yeeaahh” Stanley said hanging on the letters making the words sound longer,

OTP, we're my OTP Baby, you and me We'd be so sexy, oh OTP, we're my OTP Baby, you and me We'd be so sexy, oh

“So uh do you know what song this is?” Eddie asked still puzzled by this sight. “Oh um it’s ‘We’re my OTP’ by Troye Sivan...” You spoke softly looking at the ground. There was some brief awkward silence then Stan finally gathered up the courage to ask you something. No, sadly he didn’t ask you out. “So can I buy some flowers?” He said with a goofy smile on his face. “If you have the money then you can if you would like to” You said with a cute smile back. Richie, Bill, Mike, and Beverly were all still at the entrance quietly cheering Stan for talking to you considering he is very quiet in and out of school. You tried your best to ignore the group but you glanced at them and smiled, “I think your friends are happy about this” you had a smirk on your face while Eddie was giving Stan some money to buy a bouquet of flowers.

Bieber Fever, One Direction Infection Whatever floats your boat What's your addiction? You, Tumblr, you make it so much worse You make me feel the feels, right where it hurts I love you always, I love you five-ever I love you as much as I love Nutella Almost.

When you spoke you had caught both their attentions causing Stan to give them a stare basically telling them to “shut the fuck up.” “I’m guessing you're always done with their shit” You said with a grin as he handed you the money for the flower bouquet

Baby, you and me We'd be so sexy, oh We'd be so sexy, oh We'd be so sexy, oh We'd be so sexy, oh

“Not always” Stan said whilst awkwardly making hand connection when giving the money. “Thanks Y/n” You nodded and pointed out asking which type of flowers he wanted. “Uh..What’s your favorite?” he paused for a moment then feeling some type of awkward regret. You smiled shyly, “Um actually I really do like the one bouquet with the white roses and lavenders” you said as you looked around. “Cool...Then can you get me a bouquet of that type?” you nodded and handed a similar one. “Thanks” You smiled then he quickly gave you $10′s “N-no problem” “Yeah thanks for the tip Stan” After he left you quickly realized there was another paper attached containing his phone number.

No. Literally the only thing that's stopping us from getting married is the fact that we haven't "met yet"

Ayeeee I am SO happy to be back again and so here you go! :)))

#stan uris #stan uris x reader #stanley uris #it #it cast #wyatt oleff #wyatt oleff x reader #eddie kaspbrak #jack dylan grazer #richie tozier #finn wolfhard #bill denbrough #jaeden lieberher #troye sivan #otp #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #pennywise

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beboldbebold · 7 years

Photo

Happy Birthday Pocket Mirror!!!! Thanks so much to everyone who took time to play the game and support the crew over this past year!!! Every single play means so much to me, and everyone on the team as well!!! I’m gonna reminisce and get mushy under the cut, so be warned!!!

I say this all the time and I’m sure people have gotten tired of seeing it typed out but I!!! am! so! thankful!!! I’m thankful to have gotten the chance to draw art for Pocket Mirror! And even more so now that I get to be a part of Astral Shift and work on Little Goody Two Shoes!!

If you’ve been following me for a bit, you know that I’ve always loved spooky pixel games! And it has always been my dream to make one of my own! So when Kira sent me a message in October of 2013 (yikes!!! talk about time flying!!!) and asked if I wanted to join Pocket Mirror I about lost my mind!!! I felt like the message was honestly too good to be true? I actually got up from my desk and did jumping jacks I was so excited hahahahaha But I immediately agreed!!! and even though I knew there was a chance it might not bear fruit, the idea of being able to draw at least some art for the type of game I love was enough for me! I honestly have the dA message screen-capped on my phone so I can go back and look at it for good feelings and good mems!

This also kinda shows you that if you want to put a project together, you definitely have to get out there and just ask!!! Now, the PM group did already have a pretty lookin’ Tumblr with some info about the game in their favor, (though remember, PM was very mysterious and revealed little about its plot during the entire development process) but asking is always the first step to someone agreeing!! I’m sure there’s another artist out there who would do excited jumping jacks just to get invited to your project too!!!

I don’t think I really had confidence in my art until i joined the Pocket Mirror team. I drew because it was fun! And it was something to do! But I didn’t really feel like my art had anywhere to go! And I definitely didn’t feel like I was in a place art-wise where my drawings would fit into a game!!! Did I deserve the honor!??!?!! I didn’t really know! A spooky rpgmaker game, again, was like the pinnacle of success for me? It was the goal!!! An untouchable, unreachable goal!!!!! So while I still drew art in the beginning stages of the game and was really excited to do it, I still felt unsure the entire way hahahahaha It was probably around the time Harpae’s theater got put together that I felt like I had really changed and was more confident in what I could do! And here is when I felt like I definitely deserved to be there! and apart of the game development!!!

Seeing the theaters move though? I still get weepy!!! PM challenged me to draw stuff I wasn’t used to drawing! It really got me out of my comfort zone, while still letting me draw cute girls hahahhaha I think part of the reason people sometimes call my style “unique” is because of the ways I come up with to get out of drawing things I don’t know how to draw? I have my clever ways heh heh heh Anyway! I was able to do so much with my art that I probably never would have tried on my own! Without PM, I probably would be drawing the same spooky girls with spooky hands over and over again! I might not ever of had the chance to see my art move around in a theater/pv? I feel like it’s very easy for me to envision that I probably NEVER would have gotten to see the thing. And very easy for me to think I NEVER would have gotten to draw my own rpgmaker map!!! and make sprites for it!!! School easily drained me of all my free time I would have needed to begin those things on my own! To have learned programs on my own!!! PM was not just something that pushed me, but was a lil bit of a crutch to get into things easier too hahaha

The theaters and the Jes Map were a really rewarding experience for me! And I’m so thankful I had the chance to draw art for them!! Like too thankful...probably obsessed thankful with how much I’ve show them off irl!!! i am so hashtag blessed!!!!!!!!! and I’ll scream about these things any day and any time you remind me!!!!!!

But more important than thankful, I felt really proud of myself seeing my art in-game! The kinda house I grew up in wasn’t a very artsy place and other things were definitely valued more. So art wasn’t really something to feel proud about? Just a fun lil hobby to “waste” time! I had to work up to that pride feeling over time! Fast forward some time and PM’s release is probably my second proudest moment in my dang life!!! That’s pretty crazy but If I try to think about everything I’ve ever done? It doesn’t really compare for me. I’M JUST SO THANKFUL I HAD THE CHANCE TO DRAW ART FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL PROJECT!!! I honestly had one of the easiest jobs on the crew, but I still value the game!! As my baby too!!! The baby I love with my whole heart!!! I’ve never worked so hard at art for any reason in my life until PM!!! So it is so important to me I would fist fight someone over it! And I would win because my love of PM is the source of my muscles and power!

My art has sure changed a lot since I first joined the project in 2013! Yikes!!

I can’t really express how excited I was when I got invited to be apart of PM, but imagine literal screaming for 400 days. And then multiply that excitement by 500 when I got invited to join Astral Shift officially. And then multiply that number by 1000 and that’s how many days I screamed when i was finally able to read players’ comments about Pocket Mirror when it was released.

People’s reaction to Pocket Mirror definitely blew everyone in the group away! tbh some days it doesnt even feel real?? My dream!!!! And I’ll never forget checking for new Let’s Plays every single night to see what people had to say!! I got teary eyed sometimes!!! Happy teary eyed!!! Seeing a comment about one of the theaters always sent me out of my chair shrieking!!! And jumping of course!!! All the comments and support I’ve gotten on tumblr, twitter, dA, or even youtube because of PM have all been my motivation for drawing! I don’t always have a lot of free time because of school, but it is something i make time for. Because I want to get better! And draw more interesting pieces for everyone that’s supported me over time! I think it would be great if people were able to say “oh yeah! That jes girl? I followed her since she was drawing art for X!”

It wasn’t just confidence and endless screaming I got from Pocket Mirror, but i was able to meet so many new people!!! New buddies! and so many insanely talented creators!!! I’d honestly been living in my own little bubble? I definitely feel like PM and mostly Kira took a needle to it hahahaha Add this on to the list of 1000 reasons Im eternally thankful for Astral Shift!

My style has changed a whole bunch since Pocket Mirror, and it’s changing again now that Little Goody Two Shoes is in the works, but I hope everyone will still keep up with me! To the people who have followed me since Sound Horizon times, Thank you!!! To the people who have been with me since spooky Mad Father/Witch’s House fanart, Thank you! To the people who have joined me after Pocket Mirror, Thank you!!!! To people who joined me at some other time, Thank you guys too!!!! Thanks to everyone for taking time to look at my art!!! And thanks so much for everyone who took time to experience Pocket Mirror!!! My art would never have moved forward without all your eyeballs!!!!! Please look forward to even prettier pictures, because I’m gonna keep working hard!!! ^O^

#a super special look at me being thankful and sobbing

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powmykun · 7 years

Text

I lose everyone to my childish ways. Everytime I kick the shit, I kick it for my non addict friends, but when I do there's never anyone waiting for me on the other side. Because while I was trying to get clean, I expose all my dirty and not anyone I thought would help, helps me. And I get it ya know I really do. I come off very fake and reclusive, I leave everyone behind when I damn well know dont like how that goes. I get the frustration. I get the pain. But holy fucking shit my issues matter too... I gotta help myself before anyone else and tho I break that motto left to right I still lose everyone. Like is it even me that's the issue? I think people find any excuse to fucking hate you and not trust you. I go a week without responding and instead of thinking ya know the actual probabilities that I've lost my way, od'd, and sitting in a fuckin hospital sedated out my ass with handcuffs on because not only do I match the description of a fucking homicide/auto theft suspect but I have a warrant for my name. No no one thinks oh shit she might be dead, not the cancer has gotten me, not the drugs, no. Nobody fucking cares straight up because of instead of realizing that I am a deeply disturbed individual who needs help, I'm made into a fucking bad guy, a fraud, a lying bitch, crazy, and slutty, words, actual thoughts from the very people Id do anything for...I never speak bad of anyone I love dearly but that's all it feels I get back from everyone. I'm not a great friend I'm not a great human being either But I always stand for them through and through and what do I get? Not even asking for it, people just...turn their backs on me.. And I never fight them on it. Never. Because I get if I'm causing them stress the best action is to just let me go.. I can't have on my conscious that I hurt them when I'm constantly battling for my life through addictions, cancers, miscarriages, homelessness, psychosis, my secretly emotionally abusive mother, and the law. "Oh she has drugs, she's happy. Shes lucky." I'm not....I'm far from that. How dare anyone say that shit? Do yall really think drugs are a fucking priviledge? You are sorely mistaken. As much as I love the feeling they give me, i fucking hate them for what they take from me. If you can't see the downside in drug use especially from having someone like me around. You're sick. To say I actually want this life. To say I deserve it because I don't like associating with your other friends is so nasty... But I be damned to talk bad about drugs around anyone because i get looks as if Im an extremely privildged woman talkin about problems i dont even know??? What the fuck is wrong with everyone?! I am already crazy but y'all make things worse with thatbfucking mindset. If I don't do them I'm a prude, if I do do them, I'm an eyesore of a human being. There is no fucking winning with you people. But fuck me, I just didnt think Id be so disposable with people I am willing to die for... Heh...guess I should've taken all of their advice and never trusted anyone but realistically I won't because I am a woman of feelings. I am a woman of hope. I don't believe in putting my trust away. I can't live like that.. I still love those who don't even want to look at me because love never dies in this heart. I love all of you still very much and if I could get anything from you, "buddies" it'd be to stop thinking so bad of me. If you don't like me anymore just kill me off and never mention my name again. That's all I want. So suck my ass. I was thinking of getting clean but I've made such a better earthly connection with drugs than anything else, what's the point? Not anybody waiting for me to get clean because no one gives a fuck(IDC what anyone says, people just don't fucking care about other people, its all love until you make one little fuck up, mines would have to be dying in December and no telling anyone that I had died, I shit you not, I have been blamed this way for no one caring.) "I don't want to watch you die." So turning the other cheek and letting me continue with what's going to kill me helps? Well fuckwhat a way to approach this. Hah I don't want to get clean because the only person I feel remotely safe around doesnt want to get clean either and he's my morningstar. He's my blessing of a demon. He's my rock. No matter what I do he still, if not love me, likes me. He actually fucking likes me..and he's so much help to me as I am for him. Weve got nothing to lose, we're discarded and betrayed and some how weve found each other in this shitty fucking place and we dont want to strangle one another. We care about one another. No matter how much wrong I do, he reminds me of my right...he cares.. So to hell with anyone who thinks horrible of him or think I'm just crawling up another guys ass to feel warmth because 1, if you can't see the pure love I have for him you don't know nothing so your opinion is invalid and 2, it probably wouldn't be this way if you guys actually checked up on me, actually cared that the only thing I'm ever doing is reblogging shit. For not having the human decency to not judge me. Why am I to be judged because y'all don't care about me like that? I'm not judging any of you when shit hits the fan on your side. Its so unfair how easily I can get you peeps to dislike me.. I've got nothing but love because I can die any day now and I couldn't muster up the hate even if I had any.. Love you tumblr peeps. Only god knows when I'll be ready to return to the land of the living.

#thinice #suicidenotes #helpme #iloveyouangel #iloveyousomuch #ineedyou #iloveallofmyfriendsnomstterhowmuchtheyhateme #addiction #god...

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