#somebody thank taika on my behalf for saving me and the non skeletal child

[laurasinele]

Thanks, Taika of my dreams

Couple of nights ago I had a weird dream. I am on four different psycoactive meds and my dreams have always been colourful to begin with, so weird dreams are not something extraordinary in this household of ours and our mornings usually begin like: “hey, husband, I had this crazy dream today in which Vlad Putin was an aquatic monster and we were seventies cops with horrible staches and fur coats and he tried to kill us by a river and we shot him but he didn’t died so I panicked and just switched to another tv channel and there was a riot in a fancy old theatre on our kitchen table because Jennifer Lawrence and David Tennant had stopped performing a live episode of Doctor Who to elope and live to the fullest their secret romance” (I actually dreamt that and I don’t even watch Dr. Who). But this dream I am talking about now was awfully dull. Yeah weird, but dull. Until...

Before I get to the details of my dream let me introduce you to the man on this picture. This is Taika “I do whatever the fuck I want because I don’t need your validation to know I am cool as fudge” Waititi, better known lately for directing the last instalment to Thor’s plot arch in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the colourful joy and delight full of flag waving and redemption that is Thor: Ragnarok. We, my husband and I, love Taika Waititi since we first met him a couple of years ago in What We Do In The Shadows, co directed with Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords (and they both star in the movie with hilarious results). What?! You haven’t seen it?! One of the greatest fantasy comedies of our times?! Go now, I’ll wait.  

(Now that you’ve seen the movie you now that’s Taika in it as Viago, waiting for you to fulfil your task) No, but seriously, we love him. If we were tu bump into him on the street we would invite him home and feed him and make sure he is all warm and cozy and tell him what a talented, lovable huge dork he is and that we love almost anything he does. Proof is, I only got interest in Ragnarok because of him because i hated so much the other two that I couldn’t finish them and that is not something that happens to me easily, not being able to finish a movie. AND I LAUGHED MY ASS OF AND I HAD THE GREATEST TIME WATCHING THOR: RAGNAROK EVEN ON HEAVY MEDS AND WITH A DEPRESSION. Because this man knows his shit when it comes to comedy and that ain’t easy.

Well, you are now acquainted with one of the most charismatic directors, writers and actors, with one of the most original and unapologetic public personas of this days. You’re welcome. 

Look at that, a happy family with the mischievous son conveniently locked away LOL

Back to my dream!

I was at the cinema and my husband and I had set up one of my friends for a date without her knowing. It was weird because the three of us were sitting apart in little clusters of movie theatre seats, four seats for each, and from where we were sitting none of use could see the screen at all but somehow (dream logic) we still were catching every detail of the movie. All the lights were on and people was talking, it was kind of a special event in which you were welcome to bring your own food and sit wherever you pleased. We were bored and my friend wanted to finish the food and leave because the movie was stressing us out. Apparently, it was about kidnapping children but I didn’t know that until that moment (the me on my dream seemed to know, though). Then, Haley Joel Osment does his entrance in a nerdy outfit and produces a blanket and a picnic basket from a backpack. Yeah, I know, dream logic, ok? Haley Joel Osment was the guy me and my husband had set my friend up with. 

So by then, the me inside the dream is ok with everything, it’s her plan after all, but the dreaming me is done with this shit and is bored af. So I decide I’m leaving and I accidentally end up inside the movie I DON’T KNOW HOW. 

And there’s my husband and my friend and Haley Joel Osment and they’re all like “this movie is bad karma we out” and suddenly I’m alone and poor Naomi Watts tells me she’s done making the freaked out mom and she begs for me to take her role so she can be the evil mom that wants my kid because her daughter died. I don’t even have kids irl life and I don’t belong in the movie and now I want to know whats happens with my friend and HJO because against all odds it looked like they liked each other?? But Naomi is so beautiful and talented and she looks so done that I say ok and I do the freaked out mom followed around the big ass suburb house full of broken toys by the evil mom aka Naomi Watts. And I was really terrified and exhausted but every now and thens we would stop and OOC chat for a while and she would compliment me on my performance, thank me for the chance or complain about sandwiches in the catering today  and I would say “But Nay, I’m only here because some psycomagical shit I didn’t event get to see the set” and she would apologise so much as if she had been unwillingly racist or something. And the we’d resume the chasing.  So, apparently, the plot of the movie was that Naomi and her husband had lost a daughter and now wanted mine (that wasn’t there at all), but during the chasing around the house two things were discovered: a skeletal child that ran away from us, thankfully, and a live one, a seven-year-old boy, naked, locked in a closet. I took the boy in my arms an resumed my race around the house but this time I was pissed because why did they wanted to steal a child if they already had one that they were neglecting? I was so pissed that I forgot to run and started walking. I heard I siren downstairs and thought it was the cops but it was an ambulance toy. it was broken and I was afraid it would catch fire, so I picked it up and switched it off, all the while carrying a sobbing, naked kid. But then the sirens resumed and there were blue and red colour in the entrance hall so I ran there and the door stormed opened and there were the Andes fro Hot Fuzz in SWAT gear and... MOTHER FLIPPIN TAIKA WAITITI IN A SIXTIES SPY POSE POINTING WITH HIS HANDS TOGETHER AND NO GUN AT ALL

He is sporting a black suit with satin lapels that looks very expensive, but he wears white tennis slippers, a black cotton t-shirt and an ugly felt pin of a flower over his chest pocket, with ridiculously small deep blue petals. I am staring at the pin when he breaks his ridiculous pose and says IN HIS VIAGO VOICE: 

“I’m the Goldblum’s daughter godfather, what happened?” (yeah, the dreaming me was also like whaaaaaaat lolololol)

“They tried to steal my daughter. I found him in a closet. The other is dead”

He took the boy while saying “I always suspected them” and he hugged him while whispering “It’s ok now” to his ear. Still in his Viago voice. Then he looked at me and he realised I’d been through hell and (dream logic) he hugged me simultaneously and told me everything was going to be alright. And I woke up. 

Now hear me out, babies, hear me out. I’ve been through a lot for this past few years and when I had that dream, I was on all day in bed 5 day streak after a faint hint of recovery that lasted barely a week and was preceded of months and months of oversleeping and only showering once in two months, medication with undesirable side effects, and well... your average depressive state. 

When I woke up from that dream after running up and down the stairs of a house full of broken but never discarded toys, protecting a daughter that wasn’t there, in a role that wasn’t mine, in a place I had no idea how I had ended up in, after saving a naked, terrified kid, after seeing another one go, Taika hugged me and told me it was alright. The very personification of Comedy and Humor came to save me and held me and told me that it was all over now. And I felt such relief when I woke up...

Thanks, Taika of my dreams. Thank you for telling me that things are starting to work like they are supposed to inside my head because I couldn’t tell. 

Also, this is very important, if someone could please draw Taika in The Pose from the end? That would be the greatest service ever done for the human race. It’s not personal. Thanks. 

#somebody thank taika on my behalf for saving me and the non skeletal child #sombody tell jeff goldblum it's not personal my brain is just random when it comes to dreams #everybody please appreciate the talented people aforementioned by their deeds not by what my shitty subcounciousness made them do #except taika because he is perfect in my dream and everybody should love him always forever #Taika Waititi #jeff goldblum #naomi watts #thor ragnarok #what we do in the shadows #viago #jemaine clement #weird dreams #creepy dream #mental health #mental illnes #medication #taika waititi apreciation #dream #dreams #haley joel osment #set up date #child kidnapping #cinema #movies #movie #thriller #mental health awareness #child abuse #the andes from hot fuzz #hot fuzz