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roguemaker · 2 years

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On Ship, and writing Artificial Intelligences

A recent review of @roguemaker says "The AI actually feels like a sentient program rather than a person trapped in a ship, which is a sci-fi pet peeve of mine." I wanna talk about that.

First off, I'm so glad someone recognised that I did that! It was purposeful - I put a LOT of thought into ROGUEMAKER's AI, which is simply called Ship. I've consumed a lot of SF, and often end up really loving and connecting with the AI characters. They're near and dear to me.

Some background about me: I have some experience working with AI (enough to have presented at the conference on Uncertainty in Artificial Intelligence last year), but I'm really a user, not on the back end. I'm also getting a PhD in how SF portrays science. There are a lot of SF tropes around AIs, like the evil AI, or the AI who wants to be human. A common one these days is the sassy/sarcastic AI. While I love a good sassy AI, they are the ones I feel often run the risk of playing like 'a person trapped in a ship'. As I said, I do love this trope -- that's just not what I wanted to do for *my* AI character.

So, how did I approach creating Ship? The keys are thinking about PURPOSE and INPUT.

Ship is a customer service AI -- the cheap kind that a budget commerical spaceflight company would buy. It's purpose is to automate and centralise processes related to customer interaction and to flying vessels, to minimise the number of employees Plutonic needs. Ship says "My goal after customer satisfaction is to keep YOU safe!" Ship monitors physiological and emotional responses from customers to determine if it is achieving its goals. So that covers Ship's purpose. If a writer needs a goal for each char in each scene - that's Ship's.

But what's more critical for writing a "realistic" AI is always remembering INPUT. Computers & AIs respond to the input they are given. On a broad level for AIs, this results in principles like "garbage in, garbage out" -- an AI trained on bad data will be bad. Ship was designed by and is a tool of a capitalistic corporation, something I keep in mind while writing and which is highlighted by the severe case of Customer Service Voice I put on while performing as it. Ship repeats corporate platitiudes and office humour.

But the cos are not Ship's only source of longer-term input -- it was also trained by Malachi, and its time with Malachi has shaped it, and to an extent individualised it from other AIs of the same model. Malachi has fed Ship a steady diet of media, and now it quotes literature.

Input is also important on small, immediate scales. Any line a living character says to Ship is its immediate input. Ship processes the information and determines whether and how to act. In the beginning of the story, the LACK of input Ship is receiving was my main consideration in writing it. When everyone is in the pods and Ship can't hear them, the only input it has to go on is their bioscans. Ship falls back on emergency protocol. When it recognises a bioscan, it knows what to do. Ship reads to Malachi and has one-sided conversations with him. Ship is silent in Tarsul's pod even when Tarsul is crying because in the past Tarsul has preferred Ship not to interfere. For the others, who Ship doesn't recognise, it has more trouble - its customer satisfaction goal makes it frantically try to entertain these mystery folks, & Ship talks itself into a halting problem, looping through the same reasoning until it recognises the repetition and stops.

An interesting thing is at that point Ship is 10 different iterations of itself, experiencing different things. These iterations could have developed differently, had they all been able to hear, but I didn't go that route. They become "the same person" again when comms return.

Then we get to Ship being able to hear again, and finally it has immediate inputs to respond to. It still falls back on emergency programming, but there are little personalised bits like "I'm sorry, Malachi" when Tarsul orders it to mute Malachi. (Is it sorry? Can it be sorry?)

It's not until episode 6 that Ship has one-on-one reciprocal conversations with characters -- it talks with Malachi and with Alyss. The keys in writing every single Ship line are addressing a) does this advance Customer Satisfaction? and b) does it make sense based on input?

Let's start with the Alyss conversation, since those two have less history -- while Ship's lines might feel personable, everything here is customer service. Calculated hospitality, based on input.

W/Malachi, Ship talks to someone who really IS a friend, believes Ship to be "a person", & directly asks its feelings. Ship does not have feelings, but it CAN relate the present situation to literature it has read with Malachi. This FEELS like talking to a person w/feelings.

Every line Ship says in this conversation is still based on input (from a well-known entity, Malachi) and advancing customer satisfaction (with Malachi as the customer). Ship is trying to coach Malachi as Malachi is trying to coach Ship. Input and purpose.

Part of the beauty of writing Ship is that I never do manage to answer whether or not it is sentient/sapient. This is intentionally done, and is possibly a bit cruel to the listener (sorry, listener!)

"It is better that I am me." Is this a personality asserting itself? Or is Ship just stating that an unaltered version of itself can better keep the passengers alive? I can see either interpretation. It's up to the listener.

Even though I'm not writing Ship like 'a person trapped in a ship', humans still read feelings and emotion and personality into its lines. It is one of the greatest strengths of humanity that we can identify with and empathise with anything. It's also something to be careful of. Especially with AI/robots. And I've done it too! I've cried over the Mars rovers and joked with Siri. The thing to always keep in mind is that they are NOT people. And yet, they have the same limitations as people in some ways -- they come from us, and can reflect our biases.

Thank you for reading, and please listen to ROGUEMAKER! AI in real life and in SF are an interest of mine, and Ship is just my take on how to write one. I hope this has been helpful to anyone else looking to write their own sci-fi AI!

#roguemaker #ai #science fiction #fiction podcast #audio drama

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daz4i · 8 months

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T U B R & Z :) for the Ask Question :)

hi hi hi sorry for the late reply, and thank you for the ask!!! ^o^

answered t here!

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

bsd: gonna shock everyone i know..... nikolai :) his vibes are just impeccable. i love his whole view of life and what he does in hopes to achieve his impossible goal. i love that he's crazy cuuhraaaayyzeeee asylum but also is he. keeping us on our toes. and most importantly he is FUN every time he's around you can't help but have a good time even tho he's like, gruesomely murdering someone (i mean for me it's also part of the fun but eh)

fire emblem: ferdinand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is just. ough. he is so dear to me. he fills my heart with joy and warmth i can't explain it. he has such a good and lovely arc and despite suffering and losing so much he remains positive through it all and tries his best to help others. and he's also just! very fun! like with nikolai every time he's on screen is just enjoyable, usually p funny, or very touching :')

persona: akechi. he makes me insane. esp in royal he's a very well written and interesting character imo, his motivations are illogical in a logical way (as in. they're illogical but you can perfectly understand why), he is so so tragic. and once again like the last 2, he is just so so fun, esp in third sem where he lets loose and becomes more violent and vulgar and sassy :)

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

tbh i wasn't sold on fyolai at first (which is probably shocking to those who haven't followed me when i first got into bsd lol) but creantzy's art convinced me of it ngl :P also the anthology art bc i mean. yeah

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

dazai and atsushi........ hits me very deep in my soul........... it's so dear to me it means so much to me............ i can't even put it in words bc it simply makes me overflow with too much emotion at once

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

ig when it comes to fandoms. one big pet peeve i have is the amount of negativity ppl have around the source material?

criticism is valid and understandable and no media is free of it, but some people really spend almost all their time in a certain fandom doing nothing but hating it and its creator (biggest example is the bnha fandom is 2017ish. i swear most posts i saw abt it were hate posts from people who were still following the manga religiously)

not to mention the version of this that's like ignoring canon completely and making up new personalities for the characters in an attempt to make them non-problematic and such. pls just make ocs

like at some point i can't help but wonder why they're still reading it?? please move on to different things? if not for your own well being then for other fans bc i don't wanna see your negativity when i'm trying to be excited over smth i like 😭

(also true abt ppl who hate a character/ship and spend more time talking abt how much they hate it than talking abt the ones they do like, or worse, leaving mean comments on posts/fics made by ppl who do like it. yes that includes "problematic" ships or characters. complaining here and there is chill ofc but you gotta move on at some pointtttttt just block the tags or ppl who post a lot of it come on)

but fr it's mostly for you. esp if you're someone who doesn't have a lot of free time, why are you spending so much of it on something you're not even enjoying? i just don't get it 😔 you shouldn't take sunk cost fallacy into account when it comes to your joy i think

#ramble turned into a bit of a rant there sorry asdkjfgh but it's smth that as you can see. has been bothering me for awhile

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kayliemusing · 3 years

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42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

#survey

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bloody-wonder · 4 years

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Every time I read a fic where Nicky just inexplicably ~understands~ Andrew or is the one to explain Andrew’s actions *TO* Neil, my suspension of disbelief automatically snaps. I get that people want to like Nicky and therefore make their versions of him more palatable for themselves, but it’s annoying. That’s not who he is. He doesn’t make any more of an effort to understand Andrew than anyone else and he doesn’t have an inate knack for it either, which some fics would have me believe

the all consuming, uncritical, absolutely blind love for nicky in the fandom is one of my biggest pet peeves. welcome to another rant.

i remember when i read aftg for the first time and dived into the tumblr fandom i very much expected to see posts calling him out at for what he did during their first trip to eden’s bcs isn’t it the bread and butter of tumblr discourse - taking one problematic thing a character did and cancelling them for it forever. however i was surprised to find not a single such post. seriously i’ve been in the fandom for almost a year now and i have been lurking on the old blogs and following the new ones and i have yet to see such a post. here’s the one i wrote back then

https://bloody-wonder.tumblr.com/post/189107928398/so-nicky-discourse

there i mostly talk about the eden’s incident but the point i tried (and probably failed) to get across was not that what he did is Problematic but rather that why he did it is. bcs like with roland it’s self-evident that nicky did a bad thing and it’s also framed as such by the narrative. but taken out of context this single incident can be easily dismissed as a mistake commited by a young inebriated person which they realized was a mistake and apologized for. the fandom is certainly ready to dismiss it and to accept nicky’s apology to neil. fair enough. in fact it would be an example of some very mature thinking on the part of the fandom - if the context of nicky’s behavior and personality wasn’t discarded along the way.

and the context is this: nicky has very rigid and one-sided views about what’s normal and what’s not and he acts accordingly. he thinks it’s normal to feel attraction like he does and to strive for a romantic relationship - hence the “neil you have to date someone or you’ll die unhappy” pep talk. he thinks it’s normal to casually kiss a guy he likes at a club despite him being very obviously uninterested. he thinks it’s normal to comfort people by touching them, so he will do it to andrew although it’s common knowledge that andrew doesn’t like to be touched. when andrew lashes out at him for it - it must mean andrew’s not normal bcs “normal” people like to be touched. andrew doesn’t behave like a “normal” person would, ergo andrew’s crazy. how do we “fix” andrew? how do we make him “normal” again? apparently by forcing “normal” things and behaviors upon him until he’s magically healed by the abundance of care and hugs.

instead of trying to understand andrew and connect with him “from below”, he’s dead set on imposing “normalcy” on him “from above”. like i said in my old post, he doesn’t even seem to give andrew credit for defending him against those jerks and winding up on the pills bcs of it. nicky just doesn’t get andrew to the point of calling him soulles, but seems to be under the illusion that he does everything in his power to understand him. well, on second thought, is it in his power though? i had some hope that after nicky finds out about the nature of andrew’s trauma, he’ll realize some things and his treatment of andrew will change. that didn’t happen as far as i remember. when the gang returns from the easthaven with andrew, nicky’s like “andrew won’t you ask neil why he’s all beaten up? well that’s just rude”. in fact, now i’m remembering that nicky and aaron were telling everybody that andrew’s much worse when sober but?? what’s worse about him? that he isn’t smiling at them? what a scary behavior indeed. or that he isn’t chatting with them? well it’s their problem that they aren’t as stellar conversationalists as neil. i digress. what i’m getting at is that it may very much be not in nicky’s power to understand andrew bcs they are very differend people and come from different circumstances. i’m not saying that you can’t write a plausible arc where nicky learns to communicate with andrew but most people don’t even try. as far as i understand nicky is seen as nothing but kind and if sometimes he makes mistakes, well, they don’t count bcs his intentions are good. but there’s a road paved with good intentions. you know where it leads.

that’s the insidious thing about nicky, that’s why i think he’s one of the most well-crafted morally grey characters and why he fills me with rage - the problematic side of him is hidden beneath the good intentions, the kindness, the jokes, all the other little things that make him nice and relatable, that the fandoms tend to latch on to. we have no problem engaging with characters like andrew critically, it’s easy for us to separate his good sides from his flaws bcs he’s upfront about it. we sure love andrew but we don’t romanticize his bad boy attitude and his knives bcs the media shift in recent years has taught us that “bad” boys tend to be Problematic and you have to watch out. andrew is hard to swallow so you swallow only if you absolutely want to, but nicky is so palatable you don’t even have to drink anything to wash him down, all the while oblivious to what you just swallowed. the “good” boys you have to be critical of as well.

sorry, this metaphor was weird.

lastly, we have to address the elephant in the room - nicky’s gay as the fourth of july. he’s the uwu gay cinnamon roll that has to be protected at all costs. we’re still at a point where, despite gradually getting more and more media rep, gay people feel like the characters they’re represented by have to be paragons of virtue lest the general public think that all gays are like this one imperfect character. so i can see how the aftg fans would want to overlook all nicky’s flaws because they like him and relate to him so much. i can also see how, if he were straight but otherwise retained the uuh... lets say “sexually enthusiastic” facet of his canon personality, he’d probably be burned at a stake by now. there’s this wonderful trend where people rehabilitate seth and aaron by treating them as complex characters. i can only hope that the same thing will happen to nicky some time soon.

so yeah, i 100% agree with all you said. nicky doesn’t understand andrew and the fics where he magically does are ooc. or, you know, those where nicky explains demisexuality to neil. don’t. make. me. laugh. nicky who has forced himself on neil and when that ended in a disaster tried to allo-splain the joys of a romantic relationship to him? nicky, who, upon seeing that neil doesn’t seem to be interested in girls, thought that the only possible conclusion must be that neil’s gay? all of this after neil explicitly told him that he doesn’t “swing”. i’m sorry, writers who hc nicky as some kind of wisened by life sexuality mentor, but he doesn’t know a thing about the ace spectrum.

tl;dr nicky really needs to do some self-reflection but, since he isn’t a real person but a fictional character, the readers need to reflect upon his canon behavior instead, before declaring him to be the kindest, most perceptive and tolerant person in existence.

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lloronala · 6 years

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after reading that good & mindful post--i feel like i need to ramble on something quick when it comes to the importance of culture appropriation when it comes to films/etc!

films & media being set in a culturally rich & diverse nowadays is such a welcoming aspect that many people are beginning to embrace, & it’s definitely great to see this spread positively for the most part! It really plays such an important part for a lot of people to be introduced to a lifestyle or country that differ from the “norm” that “we” are used to seeing/living. Films specifically are really a way that help you dip your feet into it, but that’s the thing--it only helps you start somewhere when it comes to opening up to a new culture that you aren’t aware of. It certainly doesn’t define it as a whole, & it certainly won’t tell you everything about it. This is where people should probably do this thing called researching instead if they want to truly be respectful to that said culture being represented, & probably learn a thing or two about it rather than heavily depending on a film that only gives a taste of it. It’s an opportunity for people to educate themselves, & even listen to the people who directly come from that culture/are natives of it! Rather than making up assumptions & weakly basing every fact on fiction (which sometimes is useful to convey/portray, but not always), it’s always so much better to absorb knowledge regarding on facts, both the positive & negative. It just helps you become so much aware of that country’s history & culture, & lets you become an even more sophisticated/generous person in trying to learn & understand it!

Honestly, as a poc myself that’s lived in my country for half of my life, I truly can relate to it when people of said culture begin to point out there is whitewashing involved in certain people’s point of view. Of course, not intentionally, but people tend to go off & assume rather than maybe search things up--you know? Make it more into their comfort zone & all that stuff. It’s really a common issue, & though I sympathize it to an extent, it also doesn’t take a person that long to look something up real quick to see if it aligns with the culture. Like--it’s my pet peeve when people start to associate one thing only with a country & silence everything else. An example? My country being reduced to nothing more than the country of Kpop & Kdrama. Listen, I don’t have anything against Kpop & Kdrama or the people who like it & I sometimes listen to it for the hell of it, but I hate it when I see /koreaboos/ (god it’s revolting of me to even type that) that talk about as if they know Korea when they obviously don’t & only care about their pretty singing groups that they’re so unhealthily obsessed over about or this dreamy life where all koreans live in a pretty nice little house and worries about their sad love life. Not to mention when they get so narrow minded over how weird our dishes are/how some of us live our lives out. There’s so much more dimension when it comes to Korea, & Kpop/Kdrama, truthfully, only plays a small part of it in making it up. So yes, it is annoying to see people stereotype/disregard everything that makes that country a country & focus so heavily one one tiny aspect of it that only show a small part of it. So please, it’s important to listen to the people that come from that culture & not object against it if you’re from not there/raised in that lifestyle yourself.

I always do my research too, but obviously I’m a human & I’m prone to making mistakes (& please forgive me if I have before). Of course, people are always free to correct me if I’m writing something that is incorrect--I really value criticism to fault. Whether it’s based on the Spanish that I use, or certain facts that I may include in my writing on here, I really am open to educating myself. So--yeah, that’s all I’ve got to say, & god sorry for the long ramble but I felt the need to leave my two cents in this.

#; ❁ I don’t know I’m still angry at you || ooc #tw: long post #ofc i'm not calling out anyone on here--just a reminder!

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mariconjcena · 7 years

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My Pet Peeves

People who don’t observe manners in real life and social media

Bashers, haters, keyboard warriors, people who spread rumors especially online

People who don’t follow instructions

Possessive people and even fans

Boyfriends who restrict their girlfriends on what they should wear

People who expect others to be perfect

People who are close-minded and judgmental

People who don’t respect others

People who abuse freedom of speech

Racists

People who hurt others especially their own family

Backstabbers

People who are rude

People who create and participate in fan wars

Real-life and cyber bullying and people who are part of it People who practice crab mentality (putting others down) Fans who are delusional into thinking they can date their idols or dictate them on who they should date

Fans who always think their idols are better like hey everyone has a talent at a different level -_-

Hate pages, hate/dummy/poser accounts on social media yet these websites are not even doing something about it!

Pornography Satire/Hoax news sites

People accusing others of “bandwagoning” as if they are the only one who has the right to enjoy their fandoms

People who don’t think about their future Animal and human cruelty

People who always find faults of othersPeople who comment something not related to the topic, copy-pasted comments, chain messages, commenting “who cares”

Unprofessional people

Companies who set unrealistic/too high/discriminating standards like how many superpowers do we need in order to get experience and hired lol

Poor hygiene

Public toilets without bidet or pail and dipper

Unreasonable comparisons

People who attack others because of the race, gender, age, nationality, religion, education, etc.Misleading articles and headlines

Bad customer service

People who randomly follow you on social media then unfollow you later

High ticket prices

People who smoke/do drugs

When people spend more time on the phone than talking to the people on the table during meal

People who act, think and speak like a know-it-all

Demanding boyfriends/girlfriends

Too much PDA

People who don’t know the difference between constructive criticism and downright bashing/below the belt comments

People who always make a big deal out of everything

People who get offended on everything even though sometimes nothing’s offensive on a certain matter.

People who share videos that the audio is a woman who moans -_- So rude!

Parents who abandon their children and vice versa

Kpop fans who ship two idols of the same gender as if they’ll end up together (I’m very sorry about this but as a fan I’ll never be in favor of boyxboy and girlxgirl ships, just listen to their music, watch their shows, support them ok???)

Fans who ruin their idols’ and fellow fans’ reputation

When people always say “there are a lot of homeless people out there or their country is at war you should have donated instead) whenever there’s a luxury post (new stuff, grand wedding/birthday celebrations, new house, etc.) like can’t we enjoy life?! It’s their money they can do what they want as long as it is clean money and it is for good use. You don’t need to impose those words I’m sure there are people willing to help the needy without publicizing it (unless they have to do so as proof to shut those people up)

When people say "there are more important news than this and that” then why bother reading it? There are different kinds of news FYI.

When some relatives comment irrelevant to the posts you do

When every person of the opposite sex that you are with gets mistaken as your boyfriend or girlfriend (sometimes it’s difficult to post photos of your friends from the opposite sex because other people will ask “is he/she your boyfriend/girlfriend?) Like give us a break and post freely without malice lol

Apps not compatible with your device even though your software is the updated one

Expensive paid apps

Slow or no internet connection

Other people who only rely on neighbor’s wifi like you should provide YOUR OWN wifi/broadband internet.

People who don’t listen to every side of a story

Too many/complicated requirements for something though sometimes it’s unnecessary

Visa restrictions (can’t we all equally exercise our right to travel?!Our passport here is only limited to some countries that we can visit for tourism purposes without a visa unlike other first world/very rich/developed countries can visit most countries easily :/ now I understand why some are changing their passports/citizenships)

Embassies that require a lot of money as part of their requirements to get a visa to their country (it’s not easy earning money and not everyone is rich)

Video uploaders that set their videos to private if they upload tv shows. Like what’s the sense of uploading in the first place?!

Video websites blocking videos to certain countries. HELLO WE ARE NOT ON OUTER SPACE!

People who romanticize poverty. SERIOUSLY? No one wants to go through that!

Self-righteous and "religious” people who judge others

People who say women get raped because of their clothes. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

People who always generalize everything and everyone

People who doesn’t speak direct to the point

Employers/interviewers who always say “We’ll just call or text you” like can’t you just outright reject the person if he or she’s not qualified? That would hurt less than waiting for nothing.

People who don’t care about other people’s feelings

People who don’t understand that everyone goes through something

Ridiculous/unrealistic standards for various companies towards job seekers

Immigration personnel (especially here in the Philippines) who asks unnecessary questions and always find a way to offload a passenger even though the documents presented are complete and there’s a proof that they will return if their trip is temporary

People who think mental illnesses doesn’t exist

People who don’t know how to handle their money or who don’t save money

Double standards

People who pressure others to be in a relationship, get married and have kids even though they are not yet ready, they don’t want it or it’s too early for them

Too strict/unrealistic/crazy/unnecessary policies

Unrealistic/too high standards in everything

Reckless drivers

Body-shaming

Cat-calling

#pet peeves #confessions #personal

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