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sfjessii · 3 years

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WBL Fic: To Belong

M, DeYi, lots of talking and working through the past, lots of fluff and making out, too, AO3

~~~

Shi De’s sprawled on their bed, wearing shorts and a T-shirt as the day got warm and quite humid. He’s catching up with messages on his phone as he becomes aware of movement by the door, his head turning, blinking in pleasant surprise, his heartbeat quickening as he takes in the sight of Shu Yi.

He’s wearing a thin, short, white bathrobe, his hair up and fastened in the back, revealing all of his gorgeous face. Shi De’s rather spellbound, at first not noticing the object Shu Yi’s holding in his hand, now waving in front of him.

“I need to shave my hair again, will you do it for me, Gao Shi De?” His smile is charming, and much too tempting for Shi De, knowing that might be his sole interpretation, but he lets go of his phone instantly, mid message, and gets out of bed as if bewitched, his hand taken by Shu Yi who smiles happily at his request being granted, and leads him to the bathroom.

He puts the razor into Shi De’s hand, and sits down on a stool in front of the tall mirror. “Just the sides, just as short as I usually have them, please.” He smiles sweetly at him through the mirror, and Shi De has to take a moment before he can get himself to move and function. He still feels baffled by the overpowering effect Shu Yi has on him.

“Alright. Stay still.” He takes a couple of steps closer, glancing at Shu Yi’s reflection, smiling and nodding happily, inwardly joyed at being able to make him happy with something trivial such as this, smiling to himself.

He finds the colorful hair clips Shu Yi used to hold his hair back adorable, and runs his finger carefully over the side of Shu Yi’s head where his hair is still shorter than the rest, inspecting it to do a perfect job on it.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect, just short, I’m sweating more because of it,” Shu Yi says, watching him through the mirror.

Shi De nods, turns on the razor and gets to work, thoroughly and carefully cutting away the disturbing hair.

“Like this?” He asks when he thinks he’s done with that side, and Shu Yi turns his head for better inspection, leaning forward. “Yes, next.” He grins, and Shi De chuckles softly, walking around to Shu Yi’s other side, repeating the action.

Once he’s done, he puts the razor on the cupboard, and takes a brush to clean Shu Yi from the strewn hairs. Finishing, he makes a mental note to clean the floor later, then leans down behind him, looking at them together in the mirror. Shu Yi’s arms suddenly come up and grasp his shoulders, pulling him down, so his head is next to Shu Yi’s, his chin on his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around him, still sitting on the stool.

“We look good together,” Shu Yi remarks, hugging Shi De’s arms around himself, eliciting a warm tingling sensation inside of Shi De’s chest and spine, rushing all through him.

“We do?” He smirks a little, happy to hear it. He can’t see himself with anyone but Shu Yi, ever.

“Of course. We are the most handsome couple in all the company, haven’t you heard your co-workers talk about us?” Shu Yi says, a smug expression on his very pretty features.

Shi De huffs a laugh. “I don’t really care what they think about us, or anyone else. If you think so, it’s enough for me.”

“You’re always so matter of fact. But you’re right, what I think is most important.” Shu Yi smirks, turning his head, his lips touching Shi De’s cheek for an instant, before he feels his lips as he turns his head to him.

“Are you wearing anything under this?” They’re so close Shu Yi’s face is blurred as Shi De’s hand wanders downwards to find out for himself whether he’s wearing underwear or not.

“Hey!” Shu Yi slaps his hand playfully, making Shi De pout.

“You have a one track mind, you know?” Shu Yi claims, and Shi De could deny it, but would it be the truth? Clearly not. He does have a very Shu Yi oriented mind, whatever the matter.

“I think you have only yourself to blame for that. What did you think I would do when you’re looking like that?” Shi De challenges, brow raised.

“Mmm, I do look good in this.” Shu Yi says full of confidence, looking back at himself in the mirror.

Shi De chuckles and straightens as his back is giving him a hard time in this position, surprised when Shu Yi moves quickly, a hand around his arm, standing up right in front of him, their bodies touching, their gazes locked.

“How about you take me back to the bedroom and find out?” Shu Yi’s eyes, voice, and mouth, are suddenly oozing with temptation, deliberately so, Shi De is sure, though it’s irrelevant, as he’s wholly enthralled by him.

He nods, moving in, capturing his lips, his arms embracing him, holding him tightly, treasuring every moment, his scent, taste, and touch, the way his body molds against Shi De’s, fitting so perfectly, his mouth pliant, warm, and wonderful, giving and demanding just as much, from Shi De, as fervent as Shi De’s desire.

For a long long time, he wouldn’t dream of Zhou Shu Yi actually wanting him in this way. There was no reality where it could have been possible. But he got his miracle, and now he gets to hold him, kiss him, love him, every day, and he never feels less wanted, and loved. It’s completely mind-blowing, but also addictive, and he’s so infatuated by him.

Shu Yi gives a little cry as he’s suddenly lifted by Shi De, his arms behind his back and under his thighs, grinning with shiny lips and teeth at him. “Your wish is my command.”

Shu Yi rolls his eyes and pushes his chest, but he doesn’t manage to hide his bright, happy smile, weakening Shi De’s knees only further, but he carries him safely to the bed, taking his time to bask in their love making, quick to reveal no underwear under Shu Yi’s robe.

~~~

Blissful exhaustion lets them drift away for a while, but the humidity wakes them up after a couple of hours, and they decide to take a shower, and eat something. The house is, of course, mostly air-conditioned, but Shu Yi doesn’t like to use it as he gets cold quickly, and often feels sick with it.

Shi De also doesn’t mind the heat too much, so he’s content to leave it off, especially on a weekend when they don’t have to be anywhere, and can just do whatever they feel like.

They’re eating soup and salad, sat opposite each other on their table, clad in only boxer shorts - Shi De wouldn’t mind Shu Yi being naked always whenever they’re home alone, but Shu Yi slapped his arm when he mentioned it, sadly disagreeing - as Shu Yi gets a message on his phone, reads it, and smiles. “It’s from Yu Xin, they want to visit us next weekend, are you free?”

Shi De is sure that he is, and nods, happy at Shu Yi’s excitement to see his best friends again.

“How long has it been?”

Shu Yi ponders for a moment. “At least two or three months, everyone’s been so busy.”

Shi De nods and continues to eat while Shu Yi replies, his mind wandering.

“I’m really glad your friends kept being there for you, I ought to buy them something big as a thank you.” He says jokingly, but actually he means it. He knows his friends are the reason Shu Yi got through their separation as well as he did, and he’s truly grateful to all of them, not caring that he was the one blamed, and cursed, if it made it even a tiny bit easier for Shu Yi.

“Nah, just cook them something delicious.” Shu Yi retorts with a smile, his bare foot finding Shi De’s naked leg, caressing it with his toes.

Shi De feels tingly all up his leg, smiling surprised. “I can do that for sure.” He will still thank them when they’re here.

“It’s strange how time passes, isn’t it? How everything changes so quickly, but when you’re just in it, it feels like it’s never going to.” Shu Yi sounds thoughtful, gaining Shi De’s full attention.

He watches Shu Yi’s face, his mind clearly somewhere else, in the past probably. “We’d never get out of bad situations if time wasn’t like that. Who’d survive?” If he had to feel the agony he did for those years apart from Shu Yi for the rest of his life, he would go insane.

Shu Yi’s eyes fall back onto Shi De, who feels a little awkward, caught, but Shu Yi’s gaze is so warm, and affectionate, it puts him at ease again. How did he get this lucky? He’ll never understand, or deserve it, but he will fight and endure anything for it. He has, and he hopes, from now, they will have it a lot easier, and happier.

They clear the table and decide to get comfortable on the sofa, as it’s a little cooler down here. Shi De also gets the big fan, finding the perfect distance from Shu Yi, so he doesn’t feel cold, but comfortable.

When Shi De sits down on the couch, a pillow in the small of his back, Shu Yi lifts up his own legs, spreading them over Shi De’s thighs, angling up his knees, smirking at him from where he’s lying now, propped up against two pillows.

“Comfy?” Shi De asks, smirking at Shu Yi’s rather enthusiastic nodding.

Shi De decides to reply to the rest of his messages from earlier while Shu Yi puts on some music they both like on his phone, putting it aside next to him on the table, his eyes wandering between the ceiling and Shi De, feeling a deep contentment. To be with him, to look at him, to know how they both feel, that they complement each other’s wishes, and needs.

Shi De’s hand finds Shu Yi’s ankle, cradling it while he reads, and for a time they’re quiet, and happy like that, listening to the music, enjoying each other’s company.

Shu Yi’s mind is drifting in and out of thoughts, and memories, and all of a sudden their conversation from before triggers something again in Shu Yi’s alertness, and for a few minutes he’s just silently thinking, lots of memories, and discoveries he made during their time apart, about himself, and Shi De, coming back to the surface. Once he’s ready to share, he turns the music off, and speaks up, eyes trained on Shi De.

“You know… when you were gone I thought about everything a lot… and I realised all the things I was blind to before. Like, your cousin’s comments about us, when we were at the infirmary, and even when you told me you liked me, not him, at the ghost night event, even though you took it back, I should have known the truth long before I did, right? But, honestly, I think, I wasn’t ready to even consider it. I wouldn’t have believed you could like me like that, especially since we’d been rivals for so long.”

Shi De’s been watching him quietly, his phone forgotten next to him, his hands holding gently onto Shu Yi’s feet. “It must have been a real shock to you.”

Shu Yi hums in agreement. “But I also realised that I wouldn’t have put up with any of it if it had been anyone else but you. Even back then, there was something about you, but I still don’t really understand it.”

“I was simply irresistible from the start, just admit it.” Shi De says, and looks smugly, his mouth wide in complaint as Shu Yi’s foot pokes his stomach.

“But, really, Gao Shi De, do you think our relationship has ever been normal?” Shu Yi looks openly curious, and Shi De frowns.

“What’s normal? Sure, it’s been more... unique than others, I guess, and I did some things I’m not proud of, and I realise that if you weren’t this kind and forgiving, we wouldn’t be here now.”

Shu Yi frowns in turn. “I wasn’t always kind to you, quite the opposite, actually.”

“Well, you hated me, right?” Shi De shrugs as if it’s obvious, and justified.

Shu Yi takes a moment to think. “Hate is a cruel word, but I did dislike you more than anyone else I know. I thought my friends were all lunatics because they often mentioned that you and me were friends, too, which I never saw, or could have accepted. But even then, isn’t it weird how we were? And I can’t think of a time now where you weren’t there, and I promise you, if anyone else had given me such a hard time, I would have dealt with them differently, but somehow, something in me accepted you even then, though I never knew why. But even when my father gave me trouble over and over, you distracted me, and helped me get over it. Isn’t that odd?”

Shi De smiles a little, nods. “I guess I’m glad it worked out that way. I never wanted you to really hate me, or give you grief. I know my mind is quite twisted sometimes, and I somehow fell into this role… because you didn’t recognize me, and I didn’t know how to be your friend, and once I got better grades than you, you suddenly looked at me, all the time, and even though you seemed angry at me all the time, too, it felt better than being invisible to you, so I kept this role, though I know it was quite ridiculous, and a little pathetic.”

He shakes his head at himself, thinking back. “When I understood that I was in love with you, I couldn’t figure out how to stop. I always looked for a chance to get close to you in another way, but it never worked out, until you were lovesick about Yu Xin, and as I told you before, I did use that opportunity for myself, for a last chance, and I became really good at justifying, and rationalising things I did I knew weren’t right, but I still felt like I had to do them, and those were always about you.”

Shu Yi nods, having listened closely, learning something new, but nothing that surprises or disappoints him. “I’m glad it happened like this, if there was no other chance for us. I know others see our relationship as harmful, and weird, and don’t understand it, but we both made each other miserable at times, and we both didn’t understand each other’s motives, and feelings. We kept so much to ourselves, and all the shit my father pulled…”

“You haven’t called him dad since you found out.” Shi De remarks cautiously, hoping he didn’t cross a line.

Shu Yi suddenly seems a little crestfallen. “I feel very strange about him, and my relationship with him. And the strangest part is that no matter how I tried, or wanted to, I can’t hate him. I used to yell at him a lot, I even yelled at him when he forbade me to see you again, but since learning about this deal he made you agree to, I’ve felt… numb. Like he took something vital from me. Sometimes I’m really sad, and disappointed. But I find it hard to work through that, and he promised to never interfere in our relationship again. I did tell him that I would cut him out of my life if he ever tried to, and I guess that did scare him enough.”

“I’m sorry, Shu Yi.” Shi De strokes his ankles and calves, feeling his heartache.

“I am, too, but I need to focus on us, now. We came this far despite everything and everyone being against us. And I’m never going to allow for anything to tear us apart again.”

He smiles softly, still a little sad, but Shi De knows how brave, strong, and amazing he is, and he will find a way to sort these feelings and salvage his relationship with his father.

“Me neither. And I am truly sorry for everything I contributed. I know my reasons, but I shouldn’t have let my pain hurt you more. That night I got so drunk-”

Shu Yi quickly shakes his head. “It’s okay.”

Shi De shakes his head in turn. “No, hearing you say that you wanted revenge made me realise how deeply hurt you truly were. Before that I somehow had this crazy idea that I only had to sweep back into your life, annoy you, and stay close to you, until you forgave me. And I think I really must have been mad to think it would work like that. I don’t have excuses, I just know that those years apart, and the things with my mom, and the company, and your father, and even before then, not getting anything in return, no Emails… it all just fucked with my head, and I tried to make it make sense every day, and I was so exhausted all the time, and I missed you more than I ever had before, and I made up stories for why it was like that, and that I could make it all okay when I got back.”

His head falls back onto the couch rest, his eyes trained to an invisible spot ahead of him, getting lost in the most painful time of his past. “I had trouble sleeping, convinced that I had to shoulder everything on my own, for everyone. I’ve always had issues about troubling, and burdening people since my father left, but if not for the thought of being with you again someday, I’m not sure I would have made it through like that. And then I put everything I had into proving to your father that I could be worthy of you, and somehow I completely shut out your reasons, and feelings. And I wasn’t there for you. I was thinking of you all the time, but I failed to… consider, and empathise with you.”

He smiles sadly, the rawness of it still so painful, and glances at Shu Yi, regret, guilt, and heartache still vivid inside of him. “I would have preferred you beating me up than you telling me you hate me and want nothing to do with me after you destroyed me. It’s why I got so drunk, and I really hated myself so much, I even hated loving you so much that I could never, not even a single day, stop thinking about you, and I hated that I couldn’t fix it, that all I had been doing only made it worse, for you, and me, too.

He takes a deep breath, caressing Shu Yi’s leg up to his knee. “I felt so desperate, and so hurt, and still all I wanted was to be close to you, because I needed you so badly. You were the only one who could comfort me, but you didn’t want me. It’s why I forced it on you, myself, because I couldn’t cope knowing you truly couldn’t forgive me, and maybe really didn’t love me anymore, not even a little bit. I know I made many mistakes, and did many harmful things to you.”

Shu Yi sits up, his stomach and heart hurting for Shi De, for what he had to go through. He takes one of his hands into both of his, gently caressing it.

“That night, all I really wanted was to find out why you were hurting so much, why you were so despaired. It hurt more than anything, but you still wouldn’t tell me. It was bad, and I felt desperate, too, why I said that bullshit about getting revenge on you. I always react with anger when I’m deeply sad, when I don’t know how to get rid of the pain, and I’ve never been sadder than I was when I was convinced I lost you. But that night I also realised that I was clueless about what had really happened, and that you were in so much more pain than I had known. And, yes, I didn’t want to give in, or admit to still loving you, but if things hadn’t turned out this way, when would I have learned about the deal with my father? When would we have gotten a chance to get rid of all the secrets and work through everything? I wish we didn’t have to hurt so much for so long, but I rather take that pain to have you now, than not having you at all.”

Shi De’s breath quivers as he wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. “I still find it hard to believe you want me after all that, you’re too good for me.”

Shu Yi pokes his shoulder. “Stop with the crap, Gao Shi De.”

Shi De laughs softly, then takes a deep breath. “Thank you, Shu Yi, for not giving up on me. I still don’t remember every detail, but enough to feel ashamed.”

Shu Yi nods with a strict expression. “You are lucky to have me, indeed. That night taught me a lot, about you, but also myself, and I felt a weird, and dark, and painful connection to you I never did before. And I could have stopped it if I really wanted to, but I realised that I didn’t, and I didn’t even care about the consequences then, I guess everything I tried to suppress and hide just came out all at once. And I could have easily blamed you for everything, anyway.”

He leans close to Shi De’s face, grave and threatening, but Shi De finds him utterly endearing, cupping his face with the hand that isn’t still held by Shu Yi.

“I would gladly rot in hell for you.” He somehow manages to stay serious.

“Oh, you would, wouldn’t you?” Shu Yi looks bemused, eyebrow raised. ”I’m just happy we finally worked it out.” He looks a lot more placated now, his voice gone soft, and Shi De is drawn to him, his mercy, comfort, and allure.

He frees his hand, and draws Shu Yi closer to him, pleased when he moves to sit on his lap, his arms closing around his shoulders, his fingertips painting goosebumps all over his neck, letting them dance on his skin into his hair.

He settles his hands on Shu Yi’s hips, staring into his bright, dark eyes, losing himself in the only feeling he never wishes to be in control of ever again. Loving Shu Yi, with everything he has, and everything he is, never caring whether anyone thinks it’s wrong, only for Shu Yi to comprehend, and feel it, too, because then, nothing, and no one could ever taint it as something bad.

His eyes flicker shut as Shu Yi’s lips touch his forehead, just above his eyebrow, and keep kissing him softly, his voice, charming, yet underlying with mischief, penetrating his mind.

“You know, I remember something else I never got to ask you about, and I can’t believe I used to be so naive.”

Shi De opens his eyes slowly, tilting his chin up to meet Shu Yi’s intense gaze, waiting for him to continue.

“You are such a scheming boy, I knew it, of course, but it took me a long while to figure that one out, even though it was so damn obvious.”

Apparently Shu Yi is rather enjoying dancing around the subject, but as his fingers card over the back of Shi De’s head, through his hair, his skin tingling madly, he can’t find his brains to even mind. He really just wants to kiss him. And never stop.

But Shu Yi does have other plans, and Shi De sighs inwardly.

“How did you know it would work, though? Or did you just do all that for the minute possibility that it could?”

Shu Yi looks expectantly at him, but Shi De still has no idea what he’s talking about, having a bit of a hard time thinking clearly anyway, having him so close, every part of him touching, and touched by Shu Yi, sending delicious sensations through him.

“Can you please elaborate?” He takes a breath to get a grip, gently and slowly running his fingers along Shu Yi’s back, pleased to feel his skin, and body, reacting to his touch, as well.

“You know, getting me into the infirmary, locking us in…” Shu Yi raises an eyebrow, watching him closely, a hand coming around Shi De’s neck, his fingers splaying over his throat.

“Oh, that.” Shi De remembers, of course, swallowing a tiny lump down where he’s intently aware of Shu Yi’s touch. He knows he would deserve some punishment for fooling him like that.

“I told you my feelings made me do some… unorthodox things.” He swallows heavily again, licking his lips, his pulse and heartbeat increasing.

“Is that so?” Shu Yi smirks, his hand traveling up to Shi De’s chin and jaw, caressing ever so slowly.

“Yes,” Shi De huffs out, his voice hoarse with arousal, spellbound by Shu Yi’s burning gaze.

“I guess I must forgive you, though. That night I realised I wanted us to be friends, and that you were a good person. But then you kept fooling me.” Shu Yi’s fingers are touching Shi De’s lower lip, rubbing the tender skin, dipping inside, touching his teeth.

Shi De’s eyes fall shut for just a moment, trembling inwardly, but Shu Yi’s fingers trail further, along his upper lip, and nose, up along his brow, and down his temple, finally settling back on his neck.

“You know, I also fooled myself really well.” Shu Yi sighs, but smiles, leaning his forehead on Shi De’s.

“I said no one would date you, and that whoever you liked sucked for not liking you back, so sure it could never be me.”

Shi De feels him smiling still, his breath on his skin, in his nose. “No, you really couldn’t know. You weren’t even aware of liking guys, or my feelings. It’s not your fault, and I was desperate, and shocked when you said we were friends. I would have done anything for you, and I felt awful for misleading you at times, but even then, I thought I could somehow make it up to you again, that it was still tolerable.”

Shi De runs his fingers along Shu Yi’s neck, into his hair, hugging him closer, moving his head to press against Shu Yi’s neck and shoulder, shutting his eyes.

“You mustn’t feel guilty about any of that now, I swear. There’s nothing I still blame you for.” Shu Yi whispers, holding him just as tightly, the shift of emotions palpable.

“And thinking back on that particular night, I really loved it, despite being afraid of ghosts and you making fun of me. I fooled you too about that anyway, or tried to, because I know you knew, you just played along with me because it made your wish happen. You cared for me, made me food, let me talk you into sharing your private thoughts, even though it must have been really hard, and I’m sorry about that. You even sang for me, and I wished a hundred times that I would get a chance to hear you sing for me again. I felt stupid, and like a coward, but you made me feel safe, and gave me courage. And now, that night is one of my fondest memories,” he moves back, sliding his hands onto Shi De’s shoulders, finding his eyes, “So, thank you, Gao Shi De.”

His smile is so disarming, and lovely, Shi De feels tears shoot right into his eyes, and he can’t find the words. “Oh, you,” is all he manages, before he squeezes him, overwhelmed with emotions, and holds him until he regains some composure.

Shu Yi is still smiling, patting his back gently, a strange kind of exhaustion having taken over his body, but he’s so happy, wholeheartedly, to be able to talk about all these things with him, to understand and empathise even more, to be reassured over and over that they’re meant for each other, and no one in the world could ever convince him that they’re not.

He’s so very happy, and so very in love.

“Gao Shi De.” He can’t hide his joy, seeking out Shi De’s beloved face again, wiping away a couple of traces left by tears, making his heart ache, and soar.

“I love you the most.” He tenderly strokes Shi De’s cheekbones with his thumbs, holding his face in his hands, willing every fibre and cell in his body to make Shi De trust him, and know it to be true, for every day they have together.

He notices Shi De being overcome by emotions still, and doesn’t hesitate to grant him more time, and solace, kissing his face all over tenderly. Once he reaches his lips, he keeps them there, lightly pressing, caressing, pouring his love into him with deep devotion.

He feels the moment Shi De recovers, his hands stroking all over him, his mouth eagerly reciprocating, taking charge, pushing forward, his tongue licking and tasting all of his mouth, their bodies shifting suddenly as Shi De is taking him down on the couch, Shu Yi’s hands trying to touch all of him in return, their moans and sharp breaths echoing all around them.

Shi De’s mouth is gone abruptly, leaving Shu Yi spinning, his voice in his ear, his breath sending shudders all over him. “I promise I’ll sing to you again, as often as you like.”

Shu Yi’s brimming with delighted energy, his mouth claimed again by Shi De’s reborn passion, thrilled by the anticipation of their future together, but determined to never miss out on the present, cherishing every moment past, good and bad, because it led them to this moment right here, where they are the happiest, with each other, where they belong.

~~~

Naked and sated, they moved to lie on a blanket on the carpet, Shi De hugging Shu Yi, pressed against his back, his fingers finding every mark his hands and mouth left on Shu Yi’s body, featherlight and adoring.

He inhales his scent deeply, zealous at the knowledge this is all just for him, for them. He lets himself exist unheeded in the bliss of the moment, wondrously mindless.

Shu Yi’s body shifting startles, and jerks him awake, but he doesn’t mind, instead tightening his arms around him, his lips finding the back of Shu Yi’s neck to kiss.

He hears Shu Yi’s sigh, feels it under his own skin, astounded once more at all the ways they seem to be bonded, wholesome.

He doesn’t know why that memory appears in that instant, but it’s still as meaningful to him, maybe now even more than before.

Stretching his neck for his lips to reach Shu Yu’s ear, he kisses the lobe before whispering. “Do you remember saying you’d give yourself to me?”

He waits, but there’s no answer, though he’s certain Shu Yi isn’t asleep. He cups his chin and turns his head gently to look at him, immediately amused at the puzzled frown on Shu Yi’s face.

“I guess you really don’t remember, not even now.” Shi De sighs as if he got wounded, quickly shushing Shu Yi with a finger over his lips, to make him listen.

“There were two boys, one was crying, sitting on stone steps, when the other found him, made him talk, and saved him that day. He told the crying boy that he would give himself to him, because his father left him.” Shi De recounts, watching Shu Yi’s face closely, turning around, watching Shi De intently.

He can tell Shu Yi is thinking hard, a little disappointed that their first meeting was so impressionless to him, but minds are like that sometimes, and Shi De has always known that their encounter meant far more to him.

“Wait… I was with my father that day, and that boy... “ His eyes grow wide suddenly. “That was you?!” Shu Yi’s so startled, he sits up, staring at Shi De in disbelief.

Shi De smirks lightly, propping himself up, a hand on Shu Yi’s knee, stroking calmly to let him know it’s alright. “Yeah, that was me. You told me your name, and your school, too. It’s why I transferred there, but you didn’t seem to remember me.”

Shu Yi still looks utterly taken aback. “Shit! Really? I had no idea. That was you? How is that possible?”

Shi De laughs quietly, sitting up, leaning towards him, cradling his cheek. “It’s fine, Shu Yi, I just had to think about it.”

Shu Yi lays a hand over Shi De’s on his face, watching him closely. “That’s why… all of this… wow. I honestly didn’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s all good now, and I’ve never regretted it, and never will.” Shi De looks assuredly, smiling kindly, and Shu Yi sighs, dropping his head on Shi De’s shoulder, slipping his arms around his middle.

“How could I have forgotten you, though? How different might everything have been?”

Shi De caresses Shu Yi’s temple and hair, his head comfortably against Shu Yi’s. “I still wouldn’t change it. What if we had never found a way to each other? I wouldn’t risk it for anything.”

“You’re right, I suppose. Anything could have happened, or changed.” Shu Yi moves again, wrapping his arms around Shi De’s neck, facing him.

“I didn’t lie, though. I did give myself to you.” He smiles haughtily, his eyes twinkling, eliciting a warm shower raining across Shi De’s body, an elated smile as he holds him closer.

“You did, and I will always be grateful, because I think I belonged to you from that moment on, as crazy as that sounds.” He’s never been anything but crazy, extreme, about Shu Yi, maybe it’s just something inside him, something gone wrong, though nothing that led him to Shu Yi could ever truly be wrong in his eyes.

“We have our own kind of crazy.” Shu Yi grins, happy, and carefree, releasing the last sliver of doubt from Shi De’s heart.

He nods, pressing his lips to Shu Yi’s chin, his fingers tracing the knobs of his spine, never letting go of his gaze.

Shu Yi kisses his nose, brow, and cheek in turn, his hands sliding lavishly along Shi De’s upper body.

When he completely stills his movements, though, Shi De mirrors him unconsciously, as if he were bound to him, looking into his eyes, waiting.

“Let’s make a pact. As long as the two of us are good with something, no one’s allowed to ruin it. They can badmouth us, and our relationship all they want, but they don’t matter, and never will. Only you,” he touches Shi De’s lips with his forefinger, “and me.” His smile is auspicious, reaching his eyes, making them glow with unspoken reassurance, and promises.

Shi De feels exuberant with love, and admiration, from head to toe, and curls his lips to kiss Shu Yi’s finger.

“Let’s do that.”

#we best love #wbl #deyi #my shit #ive been possessed lately cant explain it any other way #soundsaboutright

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