#stepped outside of my comfort zone and im very proud of myself

[junova]

never been in love — single dad!steve (headcannon)

pairing: single dad!steve x teacher!reader

abstract: the one where steve likes you a lot and his daughter does too. 

warnings: it gets a lil smutty towards the end (18+) not really tho, this is so much longer than i intended jfc, bucky being kind of a dick, hint of daddy kink, cheating? 

[a/n]: this was totally inspired by @marvelouspeterparker​ post. i read it and it pulled me out of my writers block so thank u ! also this is so unnecessarily long but i have no excuse other than im a hoe for steve rogers?? 

*** gif isnt mine — i forgot creds srry :/

                             -ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-  

oh god this one is going to hUrt me

but can you just imagine when steve really gets to see you, not just in passing as he picks up his daughter

he nearly shits himself because how in the hell had he not noticed you before?

one any given day, he’s right on time to pick up shai

he’s always punctual

— until today

not only was he late, but he was an hour late and in his mess of mind he was fully convinced they’d never let him bring her to the school again

to make matters even worse his phone had died and his cable was nowhere to be found in his dying, old pick up truck

not to mention his sweet little angel, more than likely frightened out of her mind

— but he was so wrong

practically in a full sprint, he quickly made his way to shai’s classroom when he found her perfectly peaceful while she talked with her teacher

even though, she was facing him and could see him she paid him no mind. it didn’t faze her that her father was so late because you had stayed to keep her company

“well, it looks like he finally decided to show up.” shai spoke to you, loud enough so her father in the doorway could her. the edge in her tone pushing sassy all the way through

of course as soon as shai found her way in steve’s arms he profusely apologized and graciously thanked you for staying with her saying he would repay you for it

— and it definitely had nothing to do with how attracted steve was to you. nope. not at all

you dismissed his gesture, it was a delight to be with shai and you told him such but you had a feeling he wouldn’t let it go

— and he didn’t

the very next day, when he dropped shai off and handed you a dozen pastries he had made fresh this morning

the way you gushed over it, cheekbones high and happy over his kindness made steve’s heart swell

they were still warm and you just couldn’t believe he made these with his bare hands

it was easily the kindest gift anyone ever gave you and you told him that too before you could stop yourself

then he just started bringing you a pastry or two every other day, even if you’d refused them the next day he would bring double the amount he brought the day before

you stopped refusing him bc you already felt guilt since he wouldn’t let you pay for a single one

after two weeks, steve asked you out. you weren’t shocked he had, he had been buttering you up but no matter how charming you thought he was you couldn’t.

he was a parent of one of your students and you just couldn’t allow yourself to go there

it wasn’t necessarily against the rules, but it was frowned upon

accepting your rejection with grace and humility he grabbed shai before bidding you goodbye that day

you thought that was the end of it, until you saw him the following friday night at the bar you frequented at

— alone

you wanted to talk to him, the tequila in your system giving you an irresistible urge to but you were on a date with on of your friends’ coworkers

james buchanan barnes

he definitely was a smooth taker, those dazzling blue eyes sparkling like they knew something you didn’t

you really wanted to be interested, he was a loose shape of a man you’d dream about. maybe you could even pretend he was the one you really wanted

not when steve was sitting at the bar, alone.

but you left that thought behind and you convinced yourself you really were smitten with bucky

two weeks later, bucky and you had been on a few dates and he seemed to like you but you knew you had to end things.

whatever little fling you had going on

your heart got more of kick when steve used to bring you pastries in the morning before class than when bucky kissed you after your first date.

then he asked if you would come to his house, he was having a small get together and would love if you’d be there

— reluctantly, you went

bucky’s friends were nice, each one of them making you feel welcomed into their tight circle.

it turned into a better night than you thought and bucky seemed to be super touchy, guiding you onto his lap as you sat around the fire in his patio

natasha, bucky’s long friend since high school, had you all in fits on the stories from the past

everyone was too busy reeling to recognize his presence but you had the to be blind not to

there steve stood gaping at you’d like you were a ghost, certainly surprised to see you perched on bucky’s lap

yep you wanted to just crawl under a whole a stay there forever

“Glad to see you showed up, punk.” Bucky gesturing for him to make his way over to you, even when you pulled at the sleeve of his henley to stop him.

— of course your efforts to tame bucky in did nothing

he grabbed a cold one before making his way to the two of you

and dear god was it as awkward as ever

“Honey, this is my best friend, Steve.” Honey? He had never called you anything besides your name. By the way he pulled you even closer to him made you think there was something else entirely going on.

you certainly didn’t miss the way steve’s jaw clenched or as he held his right hand picking at the piece of bark rather aggressively

“Um, we actually know each other. Shai is in my class, actually.” Feeling rather suffocated by the weight of Bucky’s arms now that the man you felt too much for was here. “Really? I had no idea.”

steve’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, infuriated. it wasn’t just that bucky knew you were shai’s teacher but he knew just how much steve liked you.

he didn’t shut up about you since he you with his daughter — something inside him changing in an instance

it wasn’t just that he thought you were the most wonderful woman he’d me — shai also raved over you

shai’s mother leaving a gaping whole in her heart she didn’t quite understand at the age of five was filled by you

you were kind to her, your patience never wearing thin as you gave her the attention she deserved

it may be your job but you enjoyed every moment with her and steve noticed

“Oh? She’s the one you would wake up an hour early for to make the pastries?” Bucky blurted out.

he woke up an early just to make those for you?

the way steve looked at the ground, grinding his fingertip against the label of his beer made you want to cry. his neck flaring pink at the embarrassment only made you wish you were in his arm instead

— even more than you already did

“You really should have seen the smile on his face when he came back from the school gushing over how much you liked what he had made.”

Bucky tightened his arm around your waist before saying. “Or when you reject him, I still can’t decide which is better.”

“That’s enough, James.” You tone harsh, before you ripped yourself away.

you couldn’t even look at steve, you don’t think your heart could handle it so you practically sprinted to your car

you needed to get the fuck out of here

until you reached for you keys, but they weren’t in your pocket

“Looking for these?” His hands looping through your keys giving it a twirl. “Star Wars fan?” Steve gesturing to you baby yoda key chain. “Maybe just a tad.”

“Thank you, Steve.” He tried to ignore the jump you ignited in his heart whenever you said his name.

handing your keys, he turned away from you, heading back into the house until you yanked him forward

the force so strong he though he was going to body slam into you before he pushing his weight against the car.....and you

“I’m sorry about, Bucky. I never would have gone out with him if I knew you two were friends.” You admitted while Steve just stood there looking embarrassed.

god did you always have to ruin everything

“I-I just, um, have these feelings for you. These very complicated feelings that make me want to throw every morally sound thought I have to the wind.”

“Which thought did you want to get rid of right now?” Stepping outside of his comfort zone, Steve grabbed your hands and just on instinct alone you cradled his face like it was the most natural act in the world. Like you had done it a thousand times.

“I mean, for one I’m telling myself I shouldn’t be this close to you.” Steve taking you by surprise as he tilted his head to the side, kissing the palm of your hand.

did he really just-

“What else, sweet girl?”

oh, you really were a goner

“I don’t know.” You spoke softly. Admitting to not only him but yourself — you couldn’t think when he was this close to you.

“Oh, but I think you do.” Steve diving right in as he latched his plump lips to your neck. Making whispers of his name drip off your tongue.

before you register what was happening steve had you pressed up against the car, rough hands gripping your thighs as your legs clinged to his slim waist

not to mention the ratio from his broad shoulders to his hips had your pussy drowning more

making you forget why you’d ever rejected him in the first place and he had hardly even touched you yet

then his lips met yours and you knew he had ruined you for anyone else. no one would ever compare to him and not anyone from your past did.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, completely in awe of what Steve was capable of doing to you in a matter of seconds. The proud smirk he wore in great contrast to what he felt back by the fire when he saw your body entangled with Bucky.

“If I ever see you sitting on my best friend’s lap again, I will go fucking crazy. Do you understand?” Steve eyes burning with envy.

“Yes, Daddy.”

brb gonna cry that i don’t have my very own steve rogers rip 

                            -ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

 tags: @tonystankschild​ @parkastoria​ @kayteewritessteve​ 

#bc i’m too lazy to actually write this out #maybe one day 🧐👀 #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers hc #steve rogers headcanon #singe dad!steve #steve rogers au #maritza writes

[letfatewritethewords]

I process things with art. I process with written words in the hopes that one day it can be spoken without my voice shaking. This week has been one for the books.. and I decided to share. This is long, but I want to remember what I’m learning.. how I’m processing.. if you decide to read, thank you. If not, this will still be here as a reminder of my progress every year.

I always tell people that there was no reason for my name, but it’s a lie. I’m named after Samantha on BeWitched. My grandfather loved that show and suggested it when my mother couldn’t decide. I was born in early September and that makes me a Virgo. Astrology is one of my favorite things. There’s something extraordinary about the idea that we’re connected to the universe by the positioning of the stars. Sometimes it’s so vague.. but other times, it’s right on the nose and my horoscopes will make me cry. Speaking of that, I’m an empath and a 2. When I’m unhealthy, I’m a 4 and If you know what any of that means, I’d love to talk to you more about it. Winter is my favorite season. Fall is a close second. I love the snow and how muted everything is. I like the quiet, the beauty. Sometimes, the light from the sun will shimmer off a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It is absolutely blinding, but I’d still stare, and when the snow fell at night, I’d watch it under the street light across from my house and it felt like time stood still. When I was little, I would lay in the yard full of snow, alone, in my puffy suite, until my fingers and toes would go numb from the cold, listening to the silence, but the best part of those days was going back into my grandparents house and warming up with hot coco made on the stove, wrapping myself in a soft blanket and watching old movies with my grandfather. To me, the Winter is magical. My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I’m an introvert but I love people. I like to observe, I like to really understand how the mind works and Im eager to help. I thrive in controlled chaos. I like puzzles, I love music, I like crafts, I like to fix things because grandpa always taught me that nothing is to broken to fix. Nothing. No one.

This is the light. This is the part of me that I give willingly to anyone I meet. I wear it on my sleeve. It’s only the light. Until the last 2 years.. this was all I could give of myself because I’ve always been scared of the dark.

The darkest part of me lasted 8 years, my rock bottom lasted 4.5, but as a whole it’s taken up almost 12 years of my life. Sometimes I worry that all I'm ever going to be is this thing that happened to me. That this will define me for the rest of my life and I need to remind myself that I’m a person that can live separate from an event.

I went to the police station this week, I filled out more forms. I’ve filled out so many forms over the last 2 years. For an emergency restraining order this time. For Florida this time. I knew it would eventually follow me here but typhus felt too soon. The clerk called me brave. I smile and thank them every time but I never know how to respond to that. She has no idea how weak it feels and I mean.. how could she. This is the right choice, the obvious choice, the smart choice. In a different situation, it’s one of the many steps I’d be urging someone else to take. In all the chaos, all the hurt, in all the anger and sadness.. it always circles back to “I loved him”. I did. I wanted to fix him. I wanted to see him grow and heal and if I loved him hard enough for the both of us, it would’ve evened out eventually… right?

I failed.

He was always who he was, but I was young and naive and ready to fix the whole world. When I was 18 and we were free, I would’ve told you he saved me. Now that I’m in my 30’s… and he’s in prison and I’m in limbo.. I don’t know what I’d tell you. He didn’t save me, but he didn’t destroy me either. I had every opportunity to tap out and give up.. but I grew into a person I might not have been if I never met him.

Am I angry? All of the time.

Am I scared? Yes.

I see things more clearly now though. People talk about how you never know someone’s story, and that’s because we are experts at playing pretend like we have it all figured out until we’re alone and have to face truest selves. The facade is the hardest thing to give up. Some people saw through mine and there are others, who have built their own, that never will. I share posts about what I’ve learned, how I see people, how I’ve try to treat people with grace and teach children with love and patience in hopes that a little of that sinks into whoever it reaches, but I very rarely show the journey. Partly because I know the details are gruesome and that’s not for everyone, but mostly because I’m scared.

How will you see me?

What will you think?

I’m learning that I’m not this big awful thing that happened to me. I was never anyone’s property and I’m not chained to it anymore. I was very much lied to and manipulated and hurt long enough that it flipped onto me and I carried it without missing a step. I wanted to love him so much that I would heal him. Instead, he “loved” me so much it almost killed me, and he did call it love. Enough times that he re-defined it and I didn’t use that word for a very long time in any meaningful situation. He, for better or for worse, drastically changed the trajectory of my life.

But it’s ok.

I’m wounded but I’m healing. I’m lonely, but I’m learning how to slowly welcome more people in and step out of my comfort zone. If I’m being honest, I’m relearning a lot of things, including how to exist in a world where I have room to make mistakes and fail. I can say or do the wrong thing and be gently corrected for it by my people and move on … sans violence. There are no words for amount of relief I feel because of that truth.

Is it over? No.

He was sentenced to 7 years last year and every year around mid July early August there is an opportunity to apply for an appeal based on his behavior, which will always be immaculate because he is not as tough as he thinks he is. This means that if he applies and it goes to trial, I’m also notified and have to reappear, show any new evidence, and reexplain why he needs to stay there for the safety of others and myself. Telling my story once a year on a whim to a room full of strangers, always men, so they can decide my fate, as well as the fate of this “upstanding young man with a good head on his shoulders” (actual words used during my initial rape/domestic abuse trial against him), was never what I imagined finally turning him in would look like. I really never thought that after everything, his sentence wouldn’t even be as long as our relationship. The original sentence was 5 years. After he got out on a Governor Cuomo Covid related prison loophole and broke his parole almost immediately, he was sentenced to another 2 on top of that. He has 6 left. We talk about how flawed our system is, but really seeing it is a different kind of punch. Women aren’t believed. There’s a reason so many of these crimes go unreported, and why so many women die at the hands of angry men. The hoops you have to jump through are miles high and on fire, and when you and the advocate show up armed only with your truth, your tears and a little evidence from one night at a bar when he got to drunk and forgot he was in public, it’s very easy for a judge to rule on the softer side. Because, as you all know, we’d never want to ruin a wealthy mans life unless there’s cold, hard, reason to.

Seeing his face when they read out his sentence, after years of terror, was satisfying to say the least and if I hadn’t been so numb to get through the hearing, I would’ve enjoyed it more. I will never forget going to a trusted friends house after that hearing and being completely overwhelmed with all of the emotions. Relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, fear.. so many I couldn’t express.. all at once because the novocain wears off and numb isn’t forever and I fell asleep with their dog after a lot of crying. I’d be lying though if I said that 18 year old in me didn’t feel a loss. I grew up with incredible grandparents that did amazing things in teaching me how to love people and be a good human, but no one can protect us from everything. I also grew up with a mother who fights demons of her own and never had the capacity to love two kids. In a situation like that, someone becomes the punching bag. I became the punching bag and desperately looked for ways out, an opportunity to run.. and I ran right into him, who accepted me with open arms for the first time in my young, very inexperienced life.. and I followed him blindly and he was my whole world. Until I was 27, I didn’t have a guide. By the grace of God I landed into a community in Florida that slowly helped me realize my worth.

So.. what now.

How do we fix what our parents and past broke?

How do you reparent yourself?

The mental health journey is proving to be my biggest struggle yet. There’s no more outside factors, it’s just me and the lies that have fed me for years and altered how I think and feel and understand the world. I can feel myself frustrating people I’ve let close to me. I feel myself getting nervous and pushing people away. Sometimes I can catch it and regroup, other times that nasty little voice is too loud and I’m exhausted. My goodness though, how cool is it to learn so much about yourself? I know I have the capacity to love that broken part of me eventually, but it’s still hard to face. Getting to learn and understand the reason behind your actions is terrifyingly amazing. I am proud of this journey. Even when I don’t always come up on top. It’s hard to see the progress while you’re in it, but laying it all out like this.. I can safely say I’m never going to be that 18 year old girl ever again. Some days this journey looks different, some days the darkness wins, because healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s one step forward, 2 steps back… but nothing is too broken to fix.. and I will never call that darkness home again.

#lonliness #abuse survivor #survivor #domestic violent relationships #domestic violence #processing

[mightbewriting]

What quote or section of writing are you really proud of that maybe isn’t commented on as much? (The gallows scene comes to mind but I feel that is universally beloved)

oh hello! thank you for the question! this was really fun to think about it! the answer, honestly, is in most of my non dramione stuff xD the dramione is what i think most folks read of mine, but i think some of my best writing is in the non dramione stories i’ve written. 

im really pleased with how the little neville/hermione i wrote for @grangerdangerfics birthday this month turned out. it was a fun experiment in trying to really set a distinct mood with the way i wrote and i just, for absolutely no reason other than why the fuck not, decided i wasn’t going to use quotation marks for any of the dialogue and instead use italics because they had a better texture (i shit you not, that's what i kept repeating to myself like a maniac). so that fic, a taste of peppermint, is something i’m quite proud of but, because of the pairing, has had very low readership. 

i also feel similarly about the little rare pair party i wrote for @provocative-envy’s birthday: hate parallelograms and other theories of attraction. it’s just a ridiculous little story with some of my best dialogue, in my opinion. i also wrote in present tense and in a style pretty far outside my comfort zone...and that effort makes me love it more! there’s just not a huge market out there for draco/oliver and marcus/cho lol. but it has little lines like this in it that i feel strangely proud of for their simplicity and punch:

Draco laughs. It’s a great laugh. Kind of derisive, but in a way that makes you want to be a part of whatever club he’s in so that you know he’s laughing with you, not at you. It’s an aspirational laugh; Oliver aspires to it.

and

“Step one should be chewing with your mouth closed if you ever want Chang to see you as more than a boorish midfielder who touched her tits that one time—wait, strike that. Step one was the expensive orthodontia, so at least you have that going for you. You still touched her tits, though.”

thank you for joining me on this little self indulgent adventure into things i actually like about my writing (what? shock? that happens? i know, im surprised too lol)

[writingandmore]

Matchup request!

Hi! I’m not sure if matchup requests are still open, but if they are, can I request a matchup for BNHA and TDP? I hope it’s okay if I send it through a submission, tumblr almost always eats my asks and my description is a little lengthy. Thank you and have a nice day!

I’m genderfluid (AFAB and use they/she pronouns), 18, pansexual, and have ADHD. I’m socially anxious and come off as timid and awkward at first, but I still try be kind and polite to others. It doesn’t take much for me to open up, and I become more confident and friendly. When I’m completely in my comfort zone and around people I love and trust, my personality can take a shift to loud and outgoing. I love making people laugh and feel safe and happy, so I like being the chaotic goofy friend/doting mother friend. Although, I’ve also been the ‘baby’ of several friend groups too. When I’m not goofing around or just don’t feel like saying much, I adopt the role of the quiet listener of the group, enjoying listening my friends talk about their interests or how their day went. My friends often come to me for advice and reassurance in bad times, and I do my best to provide and understand them and be there for them at the very least. Im also really physically affectionate, and love giving hugs and platonic smooches as long as my friends are alright with it. I’m very protective and will die and kill for my loved ones if it ever comes to that, and I will not hesitate to destroy someone physically and verbally if they say something wrong or hurt a loved one by any means. (Even if I am only 4'10 and a half and a certified twinkTM.) I can have anger and patience issues, dont have a really good outlook about myself and image, and tend to overthink and be anxious about a lot of things that arent overall a big deal or I don’t have control over. I can be a bit of perfectionist and critical when it comes to me and my performances with anything as well. And despite my looks, I can be pretty dirty-minded.

I love drawing, writing, reading, ballet, martial arts, history, astrology, mythology, animals, conspiracy theories, the supernatural and anything spooky and dark, dinosaurs, pastel and cutesy stuff, fantasy and sci-fi media (I have a weak spot for romances), and would love to have the option of running around in the outdoors (preferably somewhere far and untouched by society, like a forest) and exploring new and abandoned places.

BNHA: Ururaka! 

 - Ururaka takes a little to warm up to people too, but she’s also very sweet and a nice person to be around, so hopefully you two would like each other due to your similar personalities and outlooks! She would be really patient until you warmed up too-she wants to be friends with everyone, so as long as someone isn’t rude, she welcomes them the best she can. 

 - She would be a bit surprised by your more outgoing personality, but it wouldn’t be a bad thing in her eyes at all! She gets really happy when someone trusts her enough to talk about things they love or be their real selves, so she would just be really proud of you for taking that step. 

 - She would get really flustered at first by the physical affection you give, but she would enjoy it! She loves cuddling and hugs, but mostly in private. She wouldn’t mind holding hands or something that level in public though. Sometimes she might get really affectionate herself though-if she’s really proud or excited for you she might kiss you in public as long as you’re okay with it. 

TDP: Soren!  - Soren is also a firm believer that he should and will do anything for his family if they are innocent and someone is trying to harm them. He’s strong, and will do anything in his power to stop any harm from coming to them, so he would completely agree with your view point on that. 

 - He honestly would find dirty-minded things pretty funny as long as you didn’t say them too loud in public. He has a reputation to uphold, so he’d get a bit frustrated if something like that happened. Other than that though, all bets are off. 

 -He loves to be outside and out of buildings-he finds them stifling most of the time, at least when he’s energetic and ready for the day ahead of him. You two would have a ton of fun exploring the forest and the nature around the area you’re in! 

#knight-gezi #ururaka ochako #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha matchup #tdp soren #the dragon prince #the dragon prince matchup #submission

[zoeygreensimblr]

All you had to do was Stay (Episode 30)

Graduation day, a day I thought would never arrive, I am finally done with Buckingham High, I cleared out my locker, handed my textbooks back to the office and have my cape and gown ready, I am so excited.

Tess and I arrive at school at 11, I take my seat next to Cassie, the best part about seating being done in alphabetical order is that Goth comes just before Green. Tess takes her place on stage next to Declan, her final duty as School Captain is to run the ceremony alongside Mr Landgaarb.

We do a practice run of the ceremony before the parents and special guests arrive.

"They are going to drag this out aunt they?" Cassie complains and I nod, I just want to get my diploma and drink champagne and dance around my basement with my friends.

The ceremony begins at 1pm, we've been sitting in the school hall for hours and everyones restless so when Tess finally steps up to the microphone to commence we all cheer.

"I like to welcome our parents and guests and congratulate my fellow classmates on completing not only the hardest year of our lives, so far, but also 13 years of schooling. The memories that we've made here will stay with us forever and no matter where you are going next year you will always have a part of Buckingham with you. On behalf of Declan and myself we want to say that we have been honoured to be your school captains and we would like to thank Mr Landgaarb and all our teachers for all their guidance and support this year." Tess announces to the crowd and we all cheer again.

Mr Landgaarb approaches the microphone and begins handing out our diplomas, Declan is first, followed by Tess and then the rest of the class in alphabetical order. When it comes to my turn to accept my diploma Mr Landgaarb smiles warmly at me

"Congratulations Miss Green" he says, shaking my hand, Tess breaks protocol to run up and hug me, to share this moment together.

After the ceremony we find all set out to find our parents and guests. I spot Mum and Don, standing at the back of the room talking to Imogen, I'm surprised to see her here. I approach them and Mum pulls Tess and I in for a hug together.

"Im so proud of my babies" She cries.

Don is next to grab us and tell us that he is proud and happy, I've never seen Don cry before today. We move down the line to Imogen, who looks as beautiful as ever.

"Congratulations Zoey and Tess" She says hugging us

"Thank you" I reply, "Is Angus here?" I ask her and she points behind me, he was filming the ceremony and Tess and I with our parents. He runs up to us, wraps me up in his arms, picks me up and spins me.

"You're free Princess, congratulations" He exclaims, that big, bright smile on his face but his face drops when he sees Mr Landgaarb coming over to us, "Fuck" he whispers to me.

"Congratulations again Zoey" Mr Landgaarb says

"Thank you" I reply through gritted teeth, I hate this guy.

"Angus I wanted to come over and clear the air, after Tuesday evening. Zoey was right, I was out of line with how I spoke to you, it's been 5 years and you've grown into a good man. I also want to apologise to you for destroying your education, it's not excuse but my son was a drug addict who is now serving a life sentence in a foreign prison for attempting to smuggle drugs, when I caught you with drugs I took the anger I have for my son out on you. You were a bright student and could have gone far" Mr Landgaarb explains

"Thank you for the apology but it doesn't really change what happened, what I lost" Angus says coldly

"Which is why I have an offer for you. I looked over your records, saw what subjects you took and have spoken to our teachers here, I want to give you back your year, it would mean you would have to start year 12 again but I want to get you your high school certificate and you could go to university" Mr Landgaarb offers him

"I'll be 23 sitting in a classroom with 17 and 18 year olds?" Angus asks

"No, you can do your subjects at home, at your own pace, we will be on hand to provide you with as much tutoring and support you need to get you up to speed and your girlfriend here would be happy to help too" He says, pointing to me, I'm about to correct him when Angus jumps in

"I accept your offer" Angus says, shaking Landgaarb's hand.

"I'm having a small graduation party at my house, would you come to it?" I invite Angus one Landgaarb has left us

"Of course sweetie, as long as you don't mind a high schooler coming along to your party" He laughs

"Oh yeah, we don't hang out with high school kids" I tease him

"I can't believe I'm going to put myself through all that stress again" He sighs

"At least this time you know whats coming, you know the material, you've read all the books on the reading list and you can have my notes. Plus I'll help you through, so will the others and we can go to university together" I tell him, I'm so happy he gets a second chance.

"I owe you so much Zoey, if you hadn't defended me then this would never of happened. Thank you" He hugs me tightly

Angus and I walk to his car which he parked in the school parking lot and he hands me the his keys.

"You're driving home" He announces to me

"I can't drive your car. What if I crash it?" I panic

"I'm insured and you won't crash. Just remember though, I love my car so you've gotta treat her right, take it slow, ease yourself into it" He reminds me

"You love her more than me?" I ask him

"She never left me" He teases.

I drive slowly out of the car park, making sure I'm cautious and head out of Forgotten Hollow.

"I could get used to driving this" I tell him as we come into Willow Creek, I'm staying just under 60km

"You can go faster if you want, it's 70 along this road" He tells me and I put my foot down slightly on the accelerator, bringing it up to 67, "You're doing good Zo" He praises me.

"I told you I could drive" I remind him

"Yeah but you also told me you felt nervous driving outside of Brindleton Bay so I'm a little surprised with how calm you are" He exclaims

"I couldn't drive to San Myshuno during the day, I'd have a panic attack with the amount of traffic and all the lane changes" I tell him

"Zoey there was a time, not too long ago, when you couldn't even talk to me without having a panic attack and now you're telling off school principals, you're not that shy, timid girl I first met, you've pushed yourself outside of your own comfort zone and I love seeing it" He says, placing a hand on my knee

"And I credit a lot of that too you Angus, you brought me out of my shell, you made me feel special" I look over at him and smile

"Eyes on the road Zoey" He panics slightly

My basement has been transformed with balloons and streamers, theres food everywhere and Don is mixing drinks at the bar. Tess, Cassie, Sam and Declan are already here.

"I just messaged Steph, she said her and Annabelle will be here soon" Tess says running up to me

"I drove Angus' car" I blurt out to her, it's a big, exciting achievement for me and I want to tell everyone

"You let her drive it? Her?" Tess yells at Angus

"She earned it, she got me a second chance at completing Year 12" Angus boasts

"What? That's awesome news" Tess says hugging Angus and then me, "Let's drink and dance", she grabs my hand and leads me to where Cassie, Sam and Declan are dancing, Angus goes to the bar and gets us drinks and talk to Don, I look over and see them laughing together, my mother walks up to Angus and hugs him warmly, I didn't even know him when I started the year and now he is so intertwined into my life, even when we didn't talk he was still in my life through Tess, Cassie and Declan.

I leave my group to join Angus, I hear the end of their conversation as I approach, something about Christmas is being discussed.

"It's only October and you're already planning Christmas?" I ask them and they exchange looks

"Zoey you know me, always making plans" Angus laughs

"Can I borrow you for a moment, I have something for you" I ask him, he hands me a drink and follows me upstairs, to my bedroom, I realise this is the first time he's been in here too.

"I love your mural, did Tess paint that?" He marvels at the beautiful beach scene.

"She did, she's pretty good. Did you ever get her to paint one in your office?" I enquire

"Yep, I'll show it to you tomorrow afternoon, she did an amazing job and now I have something beautiful to look at every day" He tells me and I hand him his copy of 'Seduction by the Sea'

"Sorry, I've had this sitting here since July, I thought about mailing it back to you but I didn't want to let it go, it reminded me of you" I say

"You didn't finish it?" He exclaims

"I tried to, I love the story but after we broke up I couldn't read about the captain without thinking of you, so I would sleep with it beside me every night" I tell him

"Keep it Zo, finish it" He urges, putting it back down on my bedside table, "I like your room, it's very Zoey"

"I don't even know what that means Angus" I laugh

"You've got this giant movie collection which is almost matched by your book collection, you have posters of horses and little shinny trinkets, it's cute like you" He smiles at me

"You like cute, I remember" I smile back at him

"I like you" He exclaims, stroking my cheek

"We should probably get back to the party" I suggest because I know his flirting won't go anywhere and I'll just end up sad that it will never be what I want it to be.

#the sims #the sims 4 #the sims story #sims4simblr #the sims 4 cats and dogs #ts4 #taylor swift

[shaww93]

OKAY! It’s been a while since I’ve actually sat down and blogged.. Soooo here it goes. Actually.. where do I start? 

Okay. So the guy that I went out to dinner with- he got in an accident. A serious one. He could possibly lose his foot. Hopefully not, but... Mm. I haven’t visited him yet because I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking this. I should go visit him regardless of what message it would send. He’s my coworker and as coworkers we should support each other. RIGHT! It’s just... there’s somethings that he hasn’t told me yet... and then I get this vibe that he’s in to me. So I wish he would tell me these things. Otherwise... here I am overthinking things LOL. 

Next. I’ve moved up!!! From being called a coworker to friend!! :) I mean... it’s no biggy. :3 Hehehe. Last week my manager had told me about his intro buddhist temple meeting. I told him I would go since I’m curious and like... so I could see him outside of work.. What?? He’s just introducing me to help. Psh. Nothing other than that. LOL Anyways. It was on Thursday and it turned out I was the only guest... HAHAHAHA Everybody else was a member there. But nonetheless it was really fun. Everybody was really friendly and welcoming and I love hearing their stories on how they started practicing. 

It’s really different from what I do. And I could see myself going to more of their meetings. Lol they actually invited me to their meeting this Sunday. I want to go but -drum roll please- I GOT LASIK!!! Yes. Homegirl finally got it done and can now see... 20/25 for now. But OMG. I am so blessed and happy and just.. I feel like myself. You know? I hated wearing glasses. I always felt like... like I was incompetent when I wore them or I had the feeling that people thought that way about me sometimes (I felt that way when I worked at my first job, not so much right now). I hated how glasses restricted me from working out or driving and stuff. It’s because I have to constantly push my glasses up. Idk why. Maybe because I don’t have the nose bridge for it or every glasses I have I always needed to tightened the sides up because the screw were lose. BUT WHO NEEDS GLASSES??? Not me. 

Im not gonna lie I had second thoughts on it..multiple times throughout the week, but never once did I make the effort to cancel because I didn’t want to back out. And I’m really proud of myself for that. I asked a couple of people if they thought I had rushed this because to me it seemed really impulsive. Literally got it done in like a week and a half. My consultation was last Wednesday and I got it done yesterday. LOL really fast. This month is gonna be tough for me. I have a strict schedule to follow for my eye drops. I have to take three different eyedrops... -______-. I’m not the best at time punctuality, but because these are my eyes we’re talking about I’ll try my best. 

BUT anyways back to Thursday. So the days leading up to the intro meeting, my manager was telling me how excited he was that I was going, maybe because he thinks I’ll like it or maybe because he’s proud of me for stepping out of my comfort zone, but he was like telling me how to get there and telling me more about his practice. He told me he would meet me there so I wouldn’t have to go by myself and that he’ll wait for me outside. I beat him there... He told me he saw me drive in. Haha. I didn’t know what to expect. Honestly it’s really different from what my family does. It’s very diverse. A good mix of races and their meditation is a chant to a scroll. It’s very interesting. I like it. You find power within instead of asking for help from a deity. Idk. 

My manager must of been talking about me to other people because the girl that was leading the group told everybody that I had signed up for the huge youth group event and she told me that it was nice to finally put a face to my name. I mean... I like that he talks about me to people... shows like I must have an impact on him hahaha, but also... Idk... my crush is... I can’t help it. He’s like.. an ideallllll husband. Every time he talks about his kids, my heart just breaks a little. Like I’m a little jealous, but also happy that he's happy. You know? Idk. HAHAHA. 

I feel like... that’s pretty much it for no--- OMG. THE BIGGEST ONE. I’M GOING TO THE BTS CONCERT. I’M SEEING MY BOYS. -CRIES- -WEEPS-  I can’t. Hahaha. Okay. I’m done now. That’s been my May. 

June is here and... my bday is in 27 days. Yay.... Here comes halfway to fifty.  

#personal #a lot has happened this month #di