#still me ludvig

[themarsbar]

Your tags on the Wilhelm gifs…so sad (and true) 🤧. Do better Kristina indeed!

he’s just a boy trusting his mom to love and support him and he keeps getting disappointed :( how is that so hard kristina, just treasure your son

#what makes me laugh (not) is the fact that at least from what we’re shown he still prefers to confide in his mom rather than his dad #makes you think just how useless ludvig is in the family dynamic #young royals

[othervee]

So hear me out...

With regards to this s3 promo still:

I think this might be the filming of some material for 'The Year With the Royal Family'.

Since Wilhelm's speech has changed the narrative, the Royal Court has no choice now. They have to show the Queen and the family in general as being welcoming to Simon. How better to do this than an official scene of Simon being formally introduced to Kristina and Ludvig?

That would explain the suits, the welcoming smile on Kristina's face and the positive expression on Ludvig's, the presence of the maids and other staff, and even the blocking tape on the floor (although I know there's a version with tape and a version without).

They might even frame it as if this was shot before the Jubilee, to try and take back control of the narrative and make it seem as if the Royal Court and family were always in favour of Wilhelm coming out in his own way. Of course the candid footage taken by the students and the news cameras still exists, but let's face it, they're going to try to spin it no matter what.

#young royals #young royals spoilers #yr s3 speculations #yr s3 spoilers #young royals s3 spoilers

[groenendaelfic]

you know I wasn't going to comment on anything s3 in detail or write a super long divisive post because that's draining and tiring and I just want everyone to have fun and find joy in fandom in whatever way is best for them. And yet here we are. Who'd have thought?

All I wanted from season 3 was for Wilmon to talk to and with each other, to get to know each other (better) and to try to understand and support each other and grow together. To be a couple in love and working on their relationship, learning from each other. Them against the world, facing problems together as a team. I wanted romance and hugs and honesty, and all I got was them being horny. I mean don't get me wrong I love them being horny, but I don't want that to be their entire (positive) relationship and the only thing they have going for them as a couple. Please just have an actual, proper conversation with each other?

This post however is not about that. This post is about Kristina.

I hate what they did with her. I hate her entire character arc (if you can call it that) in s3. I hate what triggered her breakdown. I hate that instead of breaking the circle of abuse and emotional and physical neglect she no doubt suffered, she perpetuated it.

She left her son alone when he needed her most. When all he needed was a hug and a good long cry and the assurance that he's not alone, that she's there for him. That she understands. For someone (his family) to be there and listen and assure him that for them, Wille comes first. (I mean not all, he also needed proper therapy for one, but that'd have been a great and important start)

Wille is a child. Her child. Wille needed her and she failed him. She pushed him away and she sent him away and she left him alone.

(the same is true for Ludvig of course, it'd be extremely sexist etc to not put the exact same expectations and blame on him as well, but alas this post is only indirectly about him as everything always is at best)

However.

Her son is dead.

She's been groomed to believe her entire purpose in life is to be a mascot (which comes with very specific expectations and restrictions she herself said she struggled to adapt to) and to give birth to the next mascot.

I don't pity her for that, but that's still her entire identity and purpose in life. It's always been, and now the next mascot is dead and she has to burden the son she thought would be spared with it all, pun very much intended.

But let's return to my first point first. Her son is dead. Not just the next mascot. Her son.

Yes, Wille's brother died as well and I'll never make light of that. It's horrible and a grief and pain impossible to put into words. Especially as a kid or young teen. Wille needs all the support. Still.

It's not the same.

I know it's not the same because I know exactly what it's like. Both of it.

Granted I'm not a queen, but I did have a cousin who died aged sixteen. We lived in the same house their entire life and shared a bedroom for years. We were like siblings. It was my first time experiencing the death of a close loved one and it was horrible. We all struggled for a long time. Their siblings and I and the entire family, and they will never be forgotten, but it broke my aunt and uncle. Fifteen years later and they're still broken.

I also have two sons and a spouse who are dead (no I didn't lose them, I know exactly where they are) and I promise you it's not the same. A dead sibling is nothing like a dead child. (not that it's a competition)

I'm not going to talk about what it does to you internally, but I will tell you what you'll experience from the outside world when your family dies excitingly enough to make it to the local newspaper. Then feel free to multiply it by a large number of your own choosing when you're royalty and the entire country is looking at you and you've been groomed to never lose composure.

Everyone will call and show up and want to show their support and their condolences (that lasts until about a week or so after the funeral). And they will get two words in and break down and cry, each and every one of them, and then it's your job to console them and be strong and deal with all the arrangements and lawyers and bureaucracy. And it'll have to be you for most things no matter how supportive your family might be, because it's you who needs to sign shit and show the school a death certificate. Everyone will mean well, but it'll be everyone else who'll require reassurance and you who'll have no choice but to function because at first there's so much to do. So much. You won't have time to breathe until after the funeral, and after that there're still so much more to do and take care of you'd never have considered before. For weeks. You can ask someone else to drive you but it'll still be you who's required to show up and do the thing. Some things will drag out for months and more. You don't have time to break down and be weak. You can't afford to, because you also have a job and other responsibilities and a duty to your dead loved ones.

But then the day comes when it's 'over' and there's nothing more to do. Sure people still look at you with pity and whisper behind your back wherever you go and fall quiet, unsure how to react or what to say, because you're now the lady who lost her family in a freak accident, but everything and everyone else moves on. That's normal. It can't not. But it's that quiet after which is the most dangerous.

I hate that they made Kristina's breaking point her son publicly coming out as queer, renouncing following traditions without thought and admitting to having been in the video. I hate it so much, because that was a choice made with an entirely different motive behind the one I'll expound on now and I hate that. Don't instrumentalize grief and the loss of a child and sibling to further prove and underline your political agenda (which I agree with). It cheapens it and was very much unnecessary. We all would've gotten the point without it as well.

But you know what? I can't fault Kristina for that.

You don't know your breaking point until you reach it. It can be anything. There's a reason the saying goes 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. Everyone has a different one and they often feel very ridiculous to oneself (which is a very helpful feeling in that situation, believe me /s). I've talked to numerous people who've gone through something similar. In my support group and in grief counseling and group therapy. No one I've met had a 'logical' breaking point.

Mine came late last fall when I saw a robin outside my window. Yes a bird. We'd have one come every winter to eat the oats and raisins etc we put out for it, and my youngest would spend endless hours every day before dusk looking out that window waiting for the robin to come and eat for a few moments at a time, less if he started clapping out of excitement.

That was it. Boom. I was useless for the next seven weeks.

You don't let your grief overcome you. That isn't a choice. You don't choose not to function when a loved one dies. You don't choose to be depressed or to have the most ridiculous thing be your breaking point. You don't choose to be too strong to not let the grooming break you or to be too weak to be unable to break out of it. And you don't choose to be unable to sit at a birthday party and enjoy cake with a son you know you'll have to force into a role he never wanted, the one your dead son was supposed to fill.

Does that make Kristina any less of a shitty mom? No, of course not. Nor does it change anything for Wille. Kristina's grief shouldn't be Wille's concern. But you don't choose any of that, and the stronger you have to appear the farther you'll fall once you just can't hold it together anymore.

I grew up with a very large, multicultural extended family. There wasn't an hour I was awake at home as a kid when I wasn't hugged or kissed by a younger cousin or aunt or my mom (it was super annoying). We talked and still talk about everything. I married into a family which was a bit less physical and more Swedish in showing their affection, but they are still very open and loving and genuine. I had all the support I could ask for. They're the best and I couldn't have asked for more.

It's not enough. Your child is dead. And Kristina had none of that.

Is Kristina (and Ludvig) super annoying for going on and on and on about Erik and how perfect he was? About always bringing him up when they have a son right there who needs them desperately?

Yes. It annoyed me too. I kept catching myself being furious on Wille's behalf and Simon's with how Wille reacted to the not-comparison between Erik and Sara. But I understand Wille's reaction to Simon and I understand Kristina and Ludvig.

Because once your child / sibling / spouse / dog dies?

They become perfect. My oldest once poured syrup where he shouldn't (it was a Nordic winter night and the car was thirsty) resulting in us being out of our only car, our insurance laughing at us, and us unable to afford a new one. It cost a lot of money, my spouse almost their job and made our life a lot harder for well over a year. He was old enough to know better (and leave the house by himself to go outside and play). He never did anything wrong in his life. He was perfect. They were all perfect.

Erik? What we learn about him is horrifying, and it being normalized and dare I say institutionalized, with him probably not having second guessed his actions, makes it worse instead of better. I do believe Erik was the kind of guy who just didn't (care to) think and merely did what was expected without further thought. That doesn't make it better either, because those kinds of people are the ones who keep corrupt systems running. I might be wrong about his character entirely, but it doesn't matter, because as soon as he died he became perfect.

It's weird what death does to our perception of a loved one. Or maybe not. It's also weird what death does to our perception of everything, because suddenly everything will remind us of that person.

A cloud? A scent? A sound? Toilet paper? Kristina is at the stage where everything she sees and feels and smells and hears will remind her of Erik and his death. Of how he's dead and now Wille has to become him and that is the worst.

Also her son is dead.

No she can't just pull herself together and eat the damn cake. Everything she talks about is Erik because everything she currently is is Erik. Her son who is dead.

There is a reason this is such an often used trope in fiction.

Kristina spent all her life being told that her duty to the throne is her only purpose in life. Be queen. Represent Sweden. Produce an heir. Part of why she's as old as she is is no doubt because Pernilla August is awesome and you can't not hire her when that's an option, but nothing else in this show is a coincidence and done without thought, so I refuse to believe that Kristina hasn't always been meant to be an older mom.

Maybe she had fertility issues. Maybe she for whatever reason didn't want kids and put it off for as long as she could. She's certainly not maternal. Unlike every other woman her generation, no one ever expected her to be maternal. That's not her job.

Quite the opposite. Kristina is old enough to have been raised at a time when royal mothers weren't expected to have any hand in raising their children except for approving (or rather disapproving chosen) nannies and playmates and tutors and the like. She was very likely the first female heir apparent, or maybe she was simply the heir because she had no (male) siblings. Either way her job was always to be a monarch, not a woman or a mother. That's what staff is for. That's not an excuse, but it does explain her as a character.

She was groomed and forced herself to adjust (I do believe forced is the right word, because unlike Erik she seems to (have) be(en) a lot more like Wille than she'd like to admit). She had to be strong and queen and represent Sweden. And then her son and heir died and she failed at both.

I do believe Erik was always the 'easier' child, doing what he was told and taking only the freedoms he knew he'd be granted, while Wille is willful, argues, has a temper and his own head. (that doesn't mean Erik was happier or better adjusted)

And now Erik is dead and Wille has to fit the mold. Wille who got to go to a normal school and clubbing and was let to run wild with little preparation for the role he'd someday have to support his brother with. Arguments can be made that Kristina and everyone else never cared about Wille until they needed him, but I'd like to think she meant well and gave him the freedom she could, and because she is a bad parent she thought she was being kind, and because she is queen no one told her otherwise until it became a problem.

Kristina has never been a good parent, and I honestly believe saying someone meant well is an insult and not an excuse, but I do believe she tried the best with what she knew, the best she could.

It wasn't enough, it was the opposite of enough, but she tried and her breakdown is not a weakness but something which was a long time in coming.

She's not maternal. Her job wasn't to be maternal. Her job is to be a mascot and have other people make sure the next mascot is fed and watered and able to perform. Her being too brainwashed to see how horrifying that is does not make her innocent or any less of a bad mother, but why would she think of acting any other way?

She's ashamed of her breakdown. She can't be weak. Not in front of the nation and not in front of her son and heir. Wille can learn and grow and change. Everyone can and it's never too late, but Kristina here is meant to be what Wille risks becoming if he doesn't, if he gives up and becomes a thoughtless mascot.

Kristina is not a victim and I can't forgive her for being a shit mom, but she's also not the devil. She's a mother who lost her child, and she's spent her whole life being told that the worst thing she can do is to appear weak.

Well guess what? At one point that simply doesn't work anymore.

This post by the lovely @voldiebeth is what motivated me to write a similar one. I originally planned on reblogging and merely adding my own thoughts, and I did talk to her before posting, but then it became something even more personal than originally planned, and considering the difficulty of the subject I found myself more comfortable making this a standalone post. I know that's not proper tumblr etiquette, but please bear with me. Many thanks to @voldiebeth for motivating me to put my convoluted thoughts and feelings in writing and order them a bit. It was very cathartic.

#On an entirely different point #I'll never be able to wrap my head around how Farima of all people turned out to be the best kindest and most functioning adult around #despite representing a dysfunctional system #Followed by Micke of all people? #Every other adult was crap! #Ramirez might get a tiny #hypocritical bonus point #but Boris you too! #what was that? #Your job did not end with Wille giving his speech! #oh and I'm not asking for condolences #that is not the point of this post #yr s3 spoilers #queen kristina #young royals meta #young royals analysis #young royals #random ramblings

[omartinyosef]

OKay guys, can we talk about this?

SEASON 3 POTENTIAL SPOILERS!!

I think we all (me included) are antagonizing everything about Kristina's role a lot.

I think she's really torn between her role as a Queen and Wilhelms mother. Some friends and I personally believe that she was like Wilhelm, she didn't really want to become Queen, but she had to. That's why she's trying to force Wilhelm to keep his role as Crown Prince.

And I understand that she wants Wilhelm to be king, because if I was her, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY HATE AUGUST BEING KING. And since there's no options left since Erik's death, she has to pressure Wilhelm, something that, as a mother, we believe she hates.

Because at the end, she's Wilhelms mother. But at the same time she's a REALLY complicated character, bacause it's so hard to understand her sometimes.

I have to say that I felt so bad for her on season 3 because of her health. But, I felt worse for Simon.

I think that Simon thinks that he's causing so much trouble. He wants to be with Wile, but since he saw what happened on Wile's bday party, he felt like it was his fault in some part of it. Because he thinks that the Queen dislikes him or something, and that that's something that is creating problems between Wile and his parents.

Have to say that I really liked Ludvig to try to talk to simon.

AND have to say that I personally believe that if we locked in a room Simon and Kristina together, two things could happen:

Third world war

Kristina LOVES simon

Because I think that she doesnt dislikes him. She's neutral about him. It's just that she doesnt knows how to deal with this.

Understand that she's a queen. She has everything controlled most of the time. And when Wilmon got together, it was something new to her and she didn't know what to do, or how to manage it, even tough she didnt have any fucking reason because everything was fine until our favourite motherfucker Aug-son of a bitch-ust posted the sextape.

This was new to her and she didnt know how to take care of it, so she took the easy option and made wilhelm say it was not him.

Since Erik Wilhelm was really bad. But Kristina too. She's just really used to pretend, that she's is not capable of separate her role as a queen and her role as a mother anymore.

I think she's a really good character. I ''love'' her? Maybe. Please dont throw me hate about this.

It's just i kinda understand her position here. AND, I also want her to become better. I still have hopes in the last chapter to

Wilmon endgame

Kristina being better mother

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HERE:

I REALLY FUCKING WANT A GOOD AND DEEP INTERACTION BETWEEN KRISTINA AND SIMON, BUT NOT HER AS A QUEEN, AS WILHELM'S MOTHER.

Because I think that if this all ends well (I FUCKING HOPE SO), they would get along well, besides of their differences. Because i need wilhelms mother, not sverige's queen.

LIKE GOD JUST IMAGINE A FAMILIAR DINNER ON SIMON'S HOUSE BEING OKAY AND NOT AWKARD AND KRISTINA BEING THE MOTHER WILHELM DESERVES AND THE MOTHER-IN-LAW SIMON DESERVES.

FUCK.

#wilhelm young royals #simon young royals #young royals season 3 #edvin ryding #wilhelm x simon #crown prince wilhelm #youngroyals #gay #young royals #yr s3 spoilers #yr s3 #young royals s3 #young royals spoilers #yr season 3 #wilmon endgame #wilmon #young royals analysis #prince wilhelm #queen kristina #netflix young royals #simon x wilhelm

[sflow-er]

Imagine if what Wille wants to show Simon at the end of the First Look clip is just his wardrobe. Then we get a full dress-up montage of Simon trying on various outfits to upbeat music and Wille reacting to them until Simon lands on the suit (or blazer?) he's wearing in the still. The scene ends with them walking with a spring in their step towards Kristina, Ludvig and the royal household, who are all smiling, as Simon's makeover has transformed him into the perfect suitor.

You can thank @scatteredpiecesofme for encouraging me to share this totally legit theory/analysis/spoiler!

#young royals #young royals season 3 spoilers #young royals spoilers #yr s3 spoilers #yr spoilers #yr spoiler #young royals season 3 #young royals season three #yr s3 #yrs3 #shitpost #yr crack

[piebingo]

“You want me to bring Simon to the cabin for Sportlov?”

Ludvig nods. “We’d like to meet him.” He says it so casually.

“You want to meet Simon.”

Kristina sets her fork down, turning towards Wille on her chair. “Gubben, will you be repeating everything we say?” She ignores Erik’s snort, who’s looking at Wille with interest. “Is there a problem with Simon? Are you two not friends anymore?”

“No, I– We’re still friends.” Wille shakes his head.

It’s a lie, of course. Simon and he aren’t friends.

***

Wille invites Simon to his family cabin for Sportlov. He hopes that, during the week, he will find the courage to present him as his boyfriend.

#young royals #wilmon #yr fanfic

[willesworld]

post-s2 fic recs

hello hello! season 2 happened and oh my god. this fandom works fast, so here are some wonderful fics that take place after season 2💜

a statue of sin by septici “I love you,” Simon had said, his resolve unwavering, even though he winced every time Wilhelm got too close, his eyes sparkling with unspoken tears when Wille drew the curtains shut every time, deliberately within Simon’s eyeline. But in Simon’s flinches, Wille couldfinallysee how much he had hurt him. He was tearing into parts, screaming into the void, he was so fucking sorry and he needed Simon to know that.

“Show me,” he whispered, curling his fingers into Simon’s ochre shirt, fingers creaking with the desperation that flowed hot through his veins. There was a sense memory there of touch against damp skin and hands running over his own, a sort of innate familiarity that came with memories tainted. He wanted new ones, ones that were as perfect and pure and unwavering as those first ones should have been. “Show me.”

Heal My Bruises by isnt_that_wizard When Simon notices a bruise on Wille's shoulder, he's determined to figure out where it came from, despite Wille's secrecy about it. When he pushes the subject, Wille admits it happened during gym class. Simon comes to the realization of when Wille would have gotten hurt during gym.

tanned skin grips the light of forever by allforyoumylove Every word but pretty leaves his vocabulary when he turns back towards Simon, a honey-dark work of art draped in his expensive cream sheets. The lamp on his bedside table paints his collarbones in deep shadows and liquid gold, weaves into his curls and accentuates his cheekbones. And his bedroom eyes, dark, starry pools of want, draw Wilhelm back like a moth to a blazing candle flame.

It's my love you can't take away by TheBoyWhoWalksInLight (@aro-of-artemis) He felt as though he’d cracked open his chest and ushered in the whole of his school. The whole of his country. Like he’d offered up his beating heart to be weighed on divine scales. There was not one corner of him that regretted it.

A quiet moment in the aftermath. They talk. Simon asks about Wille's missing necklace.

is not a real hell better than a manufactured heaven? by @toffeelemon Kristina and Ludvig see that Wille and Simon are clearly still in love with each other, and they still say nothing. Wille is sick of saying nothing.

or; Simon bites Wille's earlobe, and then he keeps going.

#yr fic recs #fic recs #rec list #young royals #yr #yr s2 #young royals season 2 #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #young royals fanfic #young royals fic #wilmon #post s2 #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilhelm x simon #simon x wilhelm #wilmon fic #fanfic rec list #yr writers

[frogprincesnowglobe]

Ultimate Young Royals Character Tournament

This Young Royals week let’s put all our characters to the test! The ultimate Young Royals Seasons 1—2 character showdown. The Hillerska gym is booked for the week for a poll tournament pitting our beloved YR characters up against each other to determine the ultimate Young Royals favorite character. 

RULES: Vote for which character you like best, whether that’s in terms of personality of how well they’re written. We all know some of these characters take questionable actions but are still deeply nuanced with interesting character arcs. Choose wisely, because the winners will go head to head.

Our wonderful Crown prince and Bjärstad choir boy will duke (ha) it out separately. They’re too overpowered and will most likely win any battle they’re in. Their tournament along with some fun extra polls will be posted on the final day.

Reblogs of the polls appreciated.

Day 1 April 24 2023 Round 1:

Henry VS Stella

Walter VS Fredrika

Rosh VS Madison McCoy

Micke Eriksson VS Ludvig

Headmistress Anette Lilja VS Choir Teacher

Rickard VS Poppe Ehrencrona

Smysan Ehrencrona VS Louise

Nils VS Alexander Bragé

Sara Eriksson VS August Horn of Årnäs

Vincent VS Marcus

Boris VS Malin

Ayub VS Felice Ehrencrona

Jan Olof Vs Queen Kristina of Sweden

Linda Vs Crown Prince Erik of Sweden

Magister Englund Vs  Fröken Ramirez

Husfar vs Husmor Anna

Day 3 April 26 2023 Round 2:

Henry Vs Walter

Felice Ehrencrona Vs Madison McCoy

Poppe Ehrencrona Vs Louise

Vincent Vs Nils

Boris Vs Choir Teacher

Fröken Ramirez vs Husfar

Queen Kristina of Sweden Vs Ludvig

Sara Eriksson Vs Linda

Day 5 April 28 2023 Round 3:

Henry Vs Felice Ehrencrona

Fröken Ramirez Vs Poppe Ehrencrona

Boris Vs Nils

Queen Kristina of Sweden Vs Linda

Day 7 April 30 2023 Round 4:

Felice Ehrencrona Vs Linda

Boris Vs Froken Ramirez

Day 9: May 2 2023

Crown Prince Wilhelm of Sweden vs Simon Eriksson

Boris Vs. Felice Ehrencrona

Simon's Lava Lamp Vs Wille's Fairy Lights (bonus poll!)

Wille's Sweater VS Simon's Purple Hoodie (bonus poll!)

August Horn of Årnäs vs Queen Kristina of Sweden (bonus poll!)

Ayub Vs Rosh (bonus poll!)

Season 1 August Vs Season 2 August (bonus poll!)

Canon Erik Vs Fanon Erik (bonus poll!)

Season 1 Wille hair Vs Season 2 Wille hair (bonus poll!)

Pizza With Rosh and Ayub Vs Poke Bowls with Felice (Bonus poll!)

Rousseau Vs Oski/Olle/Felle (Bonus Poll!)

Special thanks to @atdawnweryd for listening to me waffle about this and helping me with pairings. @freakishly-bookish-ant for validating my final pairings when I still wasn't sure and validating my decision to put Wille and Simon separate. Also the YR wikia, where I got five of the poll pictures that I didn't screenshot myself. <3

Biggest thanks to @hillerskalibrary for hosting fan week!! Thank you, it's been a blast. :)

Who is in, who is out? Current Ranking after Round 5 (X denotes they have lost their round and are out of the competition):

#Young Royals #yr week 2023 #Ultimate Young Royals Character Tournament

[khaleesiofthegreatdairystate]

I honestly wonder if Ludvig and Kristina thought if it would be actually really fucked up to give their grieving child a replacement watch. Like Erik hasn't even been dead a year. Wilhem was close to and deeply loved his brother. Erik's watch isn't just an expensive thing, Wilhem wears it as a memento of Erik and as a way to mourn his death. Giving Wilhem a new watch reads as kind of passive aggressive to me. "Oh, you're still mourning your one and only brother. Well, get over it. Your mother having a delayed but very intense break down over it and Sweden's grief of their Crown Prince is more important, so Wilhem just toss that watch away because we don't want reminders of Erik around." There is so many psychological layers to pull back with these people.

#young royals #young royals netflix #young royals season 3 #prince wilhelm

[airenyah]

Hi, I came to report to you that your ql music research is rubbing off on me 😅 I was watching ep 2 of Ploy's Yearbook (for Joong and Namtan 😍), when suddenly I recognized a piece of music!! But I couldn't place it, so I tried to remember which series have I watched so many times that I'm familiar with the music. I reached the tentative conclusion that it must be from SIMM or possibly from Hidden Agenda (but I definitely connected it to JoongDunk). Maybe I need to do a complete rewatch of both series to confirm, what a hardship 😂 I just wanted to tell you that maybe aside from being a JD vampire bl truther, this will be your other legacy

oh my god, that's amazing!!!!!! i LOVE to hear that!!!!! i'm actually planning on making a side blog focused on shared royalty free music in thdramas, but that's something that is earliest going to happen in the summer if not in the winter. i wanna work my way through some of my fave shows first, because those are the soundtracks i'm more likely to recognize and i just wanna have them on my google doc before i go put everything in tumblr posts (which is also gonna take forever bc my google doc is currently at 100 pages worth of entries sjkfkjsfdj)

aaaaanyway, re: music in ploy's yearbook

was it by any chance desert caravan by ludvig moulin? i haven't watched ep2 yet (i was actually about to go watch it when your message came in and i couldn't help answering it first kjdkfdg), but i did see a clip of it earlier in jimmy's insta story and the scene had this music in the background. it has come up in episode 1 already as well. if it was this, then good job on connecting it to a joongdunk show because it actually has come up on hidden agenda a couple of times! i'm still missing the last 3 episodes on my music collection, but these are the time stamps so far:

ep1 pt1 - 0:13

ep3 pt2 - 0:20

ep4 pt1 - 4:32

ep8 pt4 - 8:08

And here are the time stamps for ep1 of ploy's yearbook:

ep1 pt1 - 11:10 / 17:41

ep1 pt2 - 1:50

ep2 pt1 - 9:38

ep2 pt2 - 0:27

ep2 pt3 - 3:09

ep2 pt4 - 3:07

you might also have recognized get up on that horse by spring gang as the music that plays in bad buddy at the beginning of ep7 when pat is in the car (ep7 pt1 - 1:20) or also in ep12 when patpran claim they broke up (ep12 pt3 - 3:45). oh but wait, it's definitely connected to joongdunk, you said? well, as it turns out this one has actually come up in star in my mind a lot. like. A LOT:

ep1 pt2 - 5:55

ep2 pt1 - 4:00

ep2 pt4 - 1:02

ep3 pt2 - 1:15

ep3 pt3 - 1:55

ep3 pt4 - 1:17

ep6 pt2 - 1:23

ep7 pt2 - 1:48

ep7 pt4 - 0:48

ep8 pt1 - 4:33 / 5:41

ep8 pt3 - 5:07

and here are the time stamps for ep1 of ploy's yearbook again for reference:

ep1 pt1 - 13:00

ep1 pt2 - 2:26

ep2 pt1 - 8:37

and here, have a bonus because why the fuck not: moonshiner's turn by martin landström. this one has shown up in ep1 pt4 of both bad buddy as well as 23.5 degrees. also found in ep1 of ploy's yearbook at:

ep1 pt1 - 18:53

ep1 pt3 - 6:16

ep2 pt1 - 0:35 / 17:30

well, i'm gonna go watch the new episode now! feel free to check back on this post in a couple of hours, i might edit it or add a reblog with all my findings about the music in ep2 😂

edit:

i've added the ep2 time stamps to the aforementioned ones! and i found new music as well!!

maybe the one you recognized as a joongdunk series music in ep2 was winning hand by ealot. it came up in star in my mind a couple of times:

ep1 pt4 - 3:00

ep2 pt2 - 2:20

ep4 pt2 - 9:16

ep8 pt3 - 4:17

it featured in ep2 of ploy's yearbook at following timestamps:

ep2 pt1 - 16:58

ep2 pt3 - 3:45

and there was some more bad buddy music as well (diggin' the drama by the new fools) and it amazes me that my brain immediately went "we know this!!" considering it showed up in bad buddy exactly one single time (ep7 pt2 - 13:45). bad buddy really has wormed its way into my brain in every single aspect in the last two years huh djkfkjdfg. anyway you can find it in ep2 of ploy's yearbook at:

ep2 pt1 - 11:10

apart from these, there were also two pieces of music that sounded increeeedibly familiar to me but neither shazam nor google could come up with any results! i'm gonna have to click through my "not found" list at some point, maybe they're already there. here are the time stamps if you're curious:

first one i can't find (ep2 pt3 - 2:06)

second one i can't find (ep2 pt3 - 7:09)

this is gonna bug me for a while....

#anon it makes me so happy to hear that my ramblings about thdrama music have at least one listener dfjkkdfj #and no need to rewatch the series (except if you want an excuse to do so ofc dkfjkfd) because i have it all on my list!! #you can just tell me a timestamp or shazam/google it yourself and tell me the title and i can check if it's on my list <3 #also i'm telling you recognizing thdrama music is a curse really #you'll innocently be watching a video by one of your fave youtubes and suddenly be hit by a flash of ''oh this is gay thdrama music'' #or you know. instagram algorithm presents you with some reel and suddenly you sit bolt upright bc you know. gay thdrama music #airenyah plappert #asks #anon #adrm #ploy's yearbook #pyb music #ha music #simm music #bbs music #23.5 music #airenyah's thdrama music collection #ok no but for real tho #the other day i saw liam carpenter's sketch on ''tschechisches streichholzschächtelchen'' and halfway through the sketch some music started #and i go ''ah yes sneaky town by playtown from bad buddy. cool cool. i am fine :))))'' #thdrama music comes up on jet lag the game all the time as well #i've found thdrama music in max fosh videos and in a daniel thrasher sketch after the sketch that happens to be paid for #this skill is a curse #anyway thdrama music and joongdunk vampire bl truthing. what a legacy <3

[fairyfandommother]

‘Young Royals’ Season 2: An unhelpful guide to the first look at the upcoming season.

Image 1: Crown Prince Wilhelm at home, eating with his parents: Her Majesty, Queen Kristina of Sweden and The Prince Consort, Ludvig

It’s so sad that there are only placements for the three of them. It’s like even Erik’s ghost is gone now. Also very telling how Kristina and Ludvig are all smiles and Wilhelm looks rather uninterested and resigned. This is probably going to be the start of the season before Wille goes off to Hillerska for the new semester. A goodbye dinner even, given the fanfare (correct me if I’m wrong but the ‘family dinner’ we saw in Season 1 looked a lot less formal).

Image 2: Crown Prince Wilhelm shares a glance with his ex-lover, Simon Eriksson (guys they never even explicitly said they were together so they weren’t even boyfriends idt 😭)

This is their official return to Hillerska, I think. The students (maybe it’s the choir) are all lined up for a welcome ritual for the Crown Prince’s arrival. Simon is gonna try his best to avoid this boy. I just know it. And Wilhelm is gonna be devastated. He’s probably gonna be like “Simon” all happy and breathless and he’s gonna be met with a “Your Highness”. WRING ME AND HANG ME OUT TO DRY I’M GOING INSANE

Image 3: Crown Prince Wilhelm frowning in focus (is that Henry right there?? I spy a redhead) while August, The Asshole of Arnås smiles in the blurred foreground.

This image does not sit right with me. What the fuck are you smiling about you weasel? I can’t believe Lisa casted Malte as this dickhead because his cute baby face is working so hard to curb my enthusiasm at the prospect of him getting beat up. It’s also quite strange that he seems to be the only one smiling in this frame?? Like literally everybody else is just… not paying attention or mad as fuck.

Fuck you, August.

Images 4 and 5: (ltr) Madison McCoy, Felice Ehrenchrona, Sara Eriksson, Stella, and Frederika. Sara Eriksson and August, The Asshole of Arnas.

First of all, Nikita with her natural hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s go!!!!! Represent for the curly girls!!! This is such a huge deal for me as a black female fan of the show and I’m sure for Felice as a character. It represents her breaking out of that mold her mother put her in before to conform to conventional beauty standards. Love that she’s embracing her hair. Anywho… I put these images in a cluster because to me it seems like it happens either in the same scene or set around the same time (given Sara’s wardrobe). It’s probably the same first day as they’re all still in uniform. I doubt Felice would take very kindly to Sara and August conversing given what she knows but she also doesn’t know that Sara knows, Sara and August, The Asshole, don’t know that Felice knows. So, I’m thinking Sara and August are speaking away from the group (perhaps after they’ve left or walked off). August, The Asshole, looks teed off so I’m assuming this is a confrontation of sorts where he accuses Sara of spilling the beans to Wille and she has to convince him that she didn’t. Wouldn’t it be just great if Felice saw this little exchange and confronted Sara about it and Sara confesses what happened to Felice?? Wouldn’t y’al just love to see Sara face some consequences?? 🤭

Fuck both Sara and August tbh

Image 6: Felice Ehrencrona and Crown Prince Wilhelm share a quiet moment.

Wille looks so sad. Simon probably rejected him (as he should, let’s get one thing straight 😭), and Felice being the Best Friend Ever is rightfully trying to cheer Wille up. Wille had to make a lot of hard decisions last season, and those decisions hurt a lot of people, himself included. I hate what he did but it’s a messy situation all around and there’s really not much anyone can do about it. I believe in Wilmon Supremacy. Also, can I say that I love their friendship? I’m so happy that Felice, The Popular Rich Girl, is just.. so nice?? All hail.

Images 7 and 8: Simon Eriksson with best friends Ayub and Rosh + Crown Prince Wilhelm pining after Simon Eriksson in a classroom full of people.

I have TWO (2) theories about this set of photos. Given Simon’s wardrobe, I think it’s safe to say these scenes are probably close together (Omar was right, what is this kid wearing lmaooo). This is obviously during the week back (or even further in the semester) since the kids are back to regular clothing. My theories are more so with the order of these scenes.

Theory 1: Rosh and Ayub talk to Simon prior to the classroom scene where he tells them he’s gonna ignore Wille and they either stick by his decision or try to dig deeper into why he’s making said decision before he actually goes and ignores Wille in class ORRRRRRR

Theory 2: Simon ignores Wille in class and then tells Rosh and Ayub about it and they talk. I’m more inclined to believe this one because it makes more sense for him to meet up with his friends after school than it does for him to meet them before (assuming this is all the same day since he’s wearing the same clothes).

Let me also just take a moment to comment on Wilhelm’s very in-your-face staring here… like… he’s so obvious about it? And like, good for him?? Everyone else seems to be looking down at their books so maybe it’s a read aloud or a follow along but Wille’s not even trying to look like he’s paying attention. Also, how much do you wanna bet he kicked someone out of their seat to be able to sit with Simon? How many eyebrows do you think that raised? You go, Wille. Fight for your man.

Image 9: Crown Prince Wilhelm and Simon Eriksson, with their team, during rowing team training (?)

Looooot of assumptions here but they’re all in uniform and we know they’re on the team so let’s assume this is canon.

There’s so much going on here. Simon is like… all up in Wille’s space. One hand around his waist (check the mirror) and another on his side. Obviously this is a team building exercise and it could mean absolutely nothing but the significance of Simon being the one to have direct physical contact with Wille is pretty telling iykwim. This picture also seems kind of strange to me as I don’t think it belongs to the rest of the cluster which I’m guessing is the first, or even second, episode of the new season. This picture is singular in arrangement. There’s no partner. I’m guessing it happens a little later on (3 or 4 maybe) and after Wilmon have had some sort of development. A talk maybe? Cleared the air at least. Established some necessary boundaries.

Also notice who is very strategically missing from this shot? The captain of the team. I hope he got expelled. 🫶🏽🫦

Anyways, this makes zero sense but it’s just the initial vibe that I’m getting from this set of photos. I’M SO EXCITED FOR WHAT’S TO COME!! Also, @ that one Netflix France employee that leaked the season was coming out in November, I hope you don’t get fired 😭😭

#young royals #young royals Netflix #Netflix Nordic #young royals season 2 #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilmon #wilhelm x simon #wilhelm young royals #simon young royals #sara eriksson #felice ehrencrona #madison mccoy #felice young royals #madison young royals #Stella young royals #frederika young royals #August of arnas #august young royals #queen Kristina #prince Ludvig #henry young royals #netty we deserve 6 seasons #one per semester for each year Wille is at Hillerska #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #nikita uggla #malte gårdinger #freida argento #young royals analysis

[raincitygirl76]

We need to talk about the Bambi situation. Specifically, Wilhelm shooting Bambi. It was raised recently in a different post that Wilhelm has no apparent hobbies, hence fic writers latching onto the frog stuff. But I suspect there are hobbies.

We see from the shooting range scenes that Wilhelm knows how to handle a gun. He’s not especially brillant at clay pigeon shooting, but he’s clearly not a beginner, either. And in 2.06, he threatens August with the shotgun, but keeps his finger BEHIND the trigger at all times. The only time his finger is on the trigger is when he fires into the air.

I suspect the Swedish upper classes like to hunt, shoot, and fish just like the British upper classes. And someone, maybe Erik, Ludvig, or a gamekeeper, drilled into Wilhelm as a child how to handle a gun without accidentally shooting anyone with it.

As far as I know (although I don’t know much about it), fox hunting is an exclusively British pastime. Or was, since I think it’s banned now. But all other types of “country sports” seem to be mostly Europe wide. There’s lots of forest in Sweden: I suspect salmon fishing, game bird shooting, and deer stalking are probably big things for people who can afford it. I don’t mind about the salmon or the game birds, but I cringe at the thought of poor Bambi. I suspect Wilhelm was not brought up to cringe at poor Bambi, though.

A quick google search confirmed that yes, the real life Swedish royal family shoot deer.

And there are lots of other animals you can legally hunt in Sweden. Including moose, which are enormous.

Pulling back to the macro-European level, in 2012 there was a huge fuss when King Juan Carlos of Spain (since abdicated in favour of his son, partly because of this scandal) broke his hip while secretly on an elephant hunting safari in Botswana. Not a photo safari, a safari where the elephants die. Massive ructions, since nobody knew where he was, and it looked really bad when Spain’s economy was still reeling from the worldwide financial collapse of 2008.

It had already been known than Juan Carlos liked to fish, hunt, and shoot. And ordinary Spaniards were generally OK with that. They were significantly less OK with their king shooting an adorable endangered species while on a lavish top-secret trip to another continent.

Because evidently the Spanish royal family or their courtiers realized the king couldn’t be perceived as massacring elephants for fun. But rather than saying, “No, your majesty, it’s bad PR to go to Botswana and shoot Babar,” they apparently said instead, “Your maiesty, please don’t get CAUGHT shooting Babar.”

But when he broke his hip and had to be airlifted out, the secret stopped being a secret and became a scandal. Shades of Kristina of Sweden there. “Do whatever stupid shit you want, just don’t ever get caught by anyone who hasn’t already signed an NDA.”

I sincerely hope Wilhelm wouldn’t want to shoot Babar. I’m already cringing at the idea of him shooting Bambi. It’s only the longstanding connection of the upper classes with blood sports that forces me to realize it’s a distinct possibility.

I don’t much like the large land mammal idea myself. I have much less emotional attachment to pheasants and geese, so will make it my personal headcanon that Wilhelm is accustomed to shooting clay pigeons and game birds. But his nanny let him watch Bambi at a formative age.

Whenever Wilhelm was subsequently taken deer-stalking as a slightly older child, he devolved into hysterics at the idea of ANYBODY shooting the poor deer. And eventually his family gave up trying to toughen him up on the subject. Especially because him making a ruckus kept scaring off the damn deer and ruining their sport. That’s my headcanon, and I’m sticking to it. It’s probably false, but I’m happy with it.

I don’t have a problem with hunting provided it’s not an endangered species, the rules are followed, and it’s not just trophy-hunting. If the meat gets eaten, then it’s useful. If don’t want to hunt myself, but I’m not against it.

But I watched Bambi at a formative age, and the thought of a character I love getting Bambi in his sights, pulling the trigger, and killing Bambi makes me freak out. Even though I realize my headcanon about Wilhelm being too squeamish to shoot Bambi is most likely bullshit, and he probably has killed deer.

Edited to add:

@sflow-er confirms in replies that hunting is a very big thing in the Nordics. Although it’s not just an upper class thing, plenty of working class people hunt too. They just probably don’t hire an expert tracker (like the one in the People article who gets paid to help the real Swedish royal family hunt deer). Note also that in Marcus’s Instagram feed, it shows he hunts.

Consistent with Canada. Plenty of working class Canadians hunt. Mostly (but not all) people who either live in rural areas now or grew up in rural areas. But Canada also has the very expensive guided hunting expeditions available for people with more money than sense. Which sounds like the guy in the first article linked above, who has been leading the real Swedish royal family on guided hunts for 30 years.

[beikonsims]

Back at home, Circe caught Erik cheating with her while playing chess. He should really stop with that.

Circe: What the hell? Since when are you programmed to play dirty like that?

Erik: Oh... uh... master Loki wanted me to have a hidden "jester" feature? Surprise easter egg!

Circe: I'm starting to think he doesn't even know what he programmed...

Meanwhile, Loki continued teaching his son about robotics. Ludvig still wasn't allowed to mess with the workshop yet, but dad promised to get him one of his own when he's older.

He still much preferred the company of robots and electronics more than living beings. Even when he managed to actually make some friends at school, he didn't want to spend time with them outside of the required in-class socializing.

#beikon plays the sims #the sims 2 #beikon uberhood 2.0 #beaker round #loki beaker #circe beaker #ludvig beaker #erik beaker

[naanima]

Shit. Poor Ludvig.

I don't think I can watch any more of this game tonight. Nothing against the players. It is a me problem, I'm still processing that accident.

Good luck to both teams.

#pens lb #stars lb

[andthatisnotfake]

Finally rewatching episode 3x03 of Young Royals, comments after the read more.

Whose phone is that? What happened to Wille's black phone? Did he borrow someone else's phone for whatever reason? 😅 Also, when I first watched this I could swear he'd thrown the phone on the ground, but no, he just kicks some pebbles.

Kristina going from "I'm fine" to "I might die" in under 5 seconds, woman, please!

Also, I totally understand that she's suffering, but the amount of extra pressure she just put on Wille's shoulders, which already had a lot of pressure, is unfathomable. I think seeing your mom suffer is one of the hardest things for almost any kid, so Wille was so so strong to keep it together (as much as possible) and reassure his mom that he'd be fine. He lied, of course, but that's what he needed to say at that moment.

Simon saying Linda wouldn't understand that he can also fuck up... relatable. I don't think that was why he didn't tell her, but still, I get it.

The "housefather" might be even more useless than Ludvig, my god.

Simon's helmet hair is adorable, but it makes him look even sadder. 😔

The look of realization on Simon's face when Wille says getting negative comments is the way it'll always be for him and those around him... Boy suddenly understood both what Wille had been through his entire life and that the only way out would be not to date Wille.

Those bitches making fun of Simon's song, how dare them. I wonder if Wille also noticed. By the way he looks at Simon, I think he did.

I fucking love Boris.

August saying he doesn't see a reason to be nice if he won't be forgiven reminds me of that meme "I don't know to explain to you that you should care about other people".

I just noticed it's one of the comments that says people like Simon because he's dating Wille. That's where he took it from. But also, Simon sweetie, 127k followers? Why didn't you make your Instagram private as soon as the video leaked?!

I also hadn't noticed some comments were so outright threating. I was focused on the one with the address and missed the rest.

I don't really get why Vincent says that Wille had already taken a stand. When? When he admitted it was him in the video? Is speaking the truth taking a stand? Or is being queer taking a stand? 🙄

Simon saying he didn't want to be anywhere absolutely broke my heart. 😭

It's been talked about here, but I love how they always show people cleaning up the school and the Palace.

Wille wasn't paying an ounce of attention to the class. Honestly, with all these kids have been through, I'm really impressed Simon and Sara didn't fail the year (Wille too, but they'd never fail him anyway).

Simon and Wille pretending they were justing making up a second before when the inspectors enter the music room will never not be funny.

The choir was rehearsing the school anthem... 👀

The fake lunch was so awkward 😅

Vincent is an asshole, but the truth is several other kids would be thinking the same thing, August included. And unfortunately there are plenty of Vincents in the world.

Wille looks at the girls' table when Felice is talking about her testimony. He 100% heard that.

VERY pointed song choice, Micke. Also, Frida can sing!

Micke "av" Eriksson was so funny. 🤣

Ooof, I had forgotten that August's dad was also a drug addict. 😢

August's audacity of even mentioning that he'd been mad at Sara for going to the police!

August telling Sara that she's she only one he can talk to, just like Wille said to Simon... 🙃

August saying he doesn't want to be the reason why Sara isn't going back to school, I- HE WASN'T?! Or at least not the only one. Unless he meant because they'd been together and the consequences that had had, but I don't think that's what he meant. Your giving yourself too much relevance, boo.

Oh, cool the baking scene is star- oh, it's over.

I'm almost sure Mimmi put flour(?) in Felicia's by accident and their reactions are true. 😅

Simon losing his joy in singing is so sad. 😔 Wille looked sad too when he said that. At least for 2 seconds, before he switched to horny.

How did Micke manage to arrive home and fall asleep so quickly?! Sara was there for two minutes.

That sex scene was so beautifully done. Porn with feelings indeed.

I love the way the evidence the different ways the Hillerska students and the Bjärstad people are spending their May 1st.

The way Simon twists his mouth for a second before he shares the post... He did consider whether or not to do it, but did it anyway.

Simon's Instagram stories show Ayub, Rosh and "mandapand(?)". Who is that?!

Vincent mocking Simon by saying "equal pay for men and women" as though that's ridiculous, I'm this 🤏🏻 close to murdering him.

On Simon's stories, there's Felice, Valter (looks like his name really starts with V and not W) and someone else I could not identify.

The way Wille's first reaction when he sees the picture is a little smile. ☺️

How many checked pants does Simon own? 🤔

Poor baby, so scared at end. 😭

#Young Royals

[swedesinstockholm]

7 février

ras le cul ras le cul ras le cul je viens de regarder un documentaire sur pomme et un documentaire sur november ultra et j'en ai marre de rien faire de ma vie. aujourd'hui c'était l'anniversaire de r. oui encore il est là oui j'aurais tant aimé oublier que c'était son anniversaire mais mon cerveau me l'a rappelé toute la journée alors évidemment j'ai passé l'après-midi à m'entrainer à chanter you still believe in me des beach boys au piano en remplaçant toutes les paroles par joyeux anniversaire parce que c'est ma spécialité de faire des cadeaux d'anniversaire adorables aux gens qui m'aiment pas cf. mon zine pour a. avec des dessins aux crayons de couleur de son chien qui fait un road trip à travers les états-unis. l'année d'après je lui ai fait une playlist, et l'année dernière elle m'a même pas répondu, alors cette année je me suis rabattue sur r. je me suis enregistrée mille fois et j'ai fini par lui envoyer la moins nulle, en voice memo pas en vidéo parce que je me sentais moche. il a répondu merciii et c'est tout. ça m'apprendra à écouter mon gros coeur de merde. enfin non ça m'appendra pas puisqu'année après année je recommence. en ouvrant fb j'ai vu que c'était l'anniversaire de ludvig aujourd'hui aussi. évidemment qu'ils sont nés le même jour. je suis sûre qu'il aurait eu un petit mot sympa pour ma chanson lui.

8 février

j'ai rêvé qu'on me disait que je devrais faire du cinéma parce que ce que j'avais à dire et ma sensibilité se prêtaient bien à l'image, à ce médium-là, un truc comme ça. j'essaie de faire une vidéo pour le festival videoex mais je sais pas ce que j'ai à dire. en revenant de delhaize sous la pluie je me disais que j'aimerais bien travailler sur quelque chose qui me sorte de moi-même. ça me ferait du bien.

quand m. est arrivée elle m'a demandé ça boume ça gaze? et j'ai dit non et toi? et elle m'a répondu un petit ça va. elle m'a pas demandé pourquoi ça allait pas mais rien que de dire non ça m'a fait du bien. de le poser devant moi. on a passé l'après-midi à discuter dans la cuisine en se faisant écouter des nouveaux morceaux et je sais pas comment je survivrais sans voir m. de temps à autre. elle m'a ramené une pierre transparente de sel cristallisé qu'elle a trouvée dans le désert en espagne, elle date de quand y avait la mer dans le désert, ça me fascine. j'arrêtais pas de la tripoter dans tous les sens. elle a un endroit qui est tout lisse comme du verre et sur la tranche on voit plein de petites strates comme des grands escaliers en cristal. je l'ai laissée en bas sur l'évier mais j'ai envie de l'avoir près de moi pour dormir. le jour où j'aurai une table de nuit c'est le premier truc que je mettrai dessus.

cécile et gauthier sont arrivés un peu plus tard, ils ont ramené des gobelets en plastique que jeanne avait fait faire pour les trente ans de thibaud avec son nom, 30 ans et autour du 30 plein de petits objets qui le caractérisent: des baskets de sport, un chat, des billets de banque, une bouteille de vin, un ballon de foot, des cartes de poker, et plein d'autres trucs nuls. elle lui avait organisé un weekend surprise dans une grande maison à la campagne avec tous leurs amis. j'ai un peu de mal à concevoir qu'y a des gens pour qui les anniversaires sont synonyme de joie et de fête et de surprises et de bons souvenirs. bon mes trente ans étaient loin d'être mon anniversaire le plus pourri, mais quand je compare avec les gens qui ont des vraies vies avec des amis et des copains et des copines qui leur font des surprises, je me dis que je suis pas au même niveau. et la seule raison pour laquelle j'étais pas déprimée pour mes trente ans c'était que j'étais amoureuse de a. et qu'elle m'avait dit qu'elle m'enverrait un cadeau. qu'elle n'a jamais envoyé, ou il est jamais arrivé, le mystère demeure, j'ai jamais osé lui demander.

quand je suis arrivée à la maison trempée jusqu'aux os en revenant de delhaize j'avais deux messages de r. qui me disait qu'il avait enfin écouté ma chanson et que c'était trop mimi avec beaucoup de i. comment font les gens pour avoir des vies si occupées? et pourquoi moi je suis si peu occupée que j'ai le temps de passer une après-midi entière à répéter you still believe in me au piano pour un garçon que j'ai vu deux fois dans ma vie? bon je l'ai pas apprise pour lui, j'étais déjà en train de la jouer, mais quand même. je savais pas si y avait quelqu'un dans la maison d'à côté et je m'imaginais la voisine à bout de nerfs à force de m'entendre chanter joyeux anniversaire qui se disait j'espère qu'il va l'apprécier sa putain de chanson des beach boys. désolée madame mais il l'a même pas écoutée le jour-même, non mais vous y croyez?

10 février

j'ai enfin bu un jus d'ananas ce soir dans le cadre d'une piña colada sans alcool parce que j'en ai marre d'avoir la tête qui tourne. je suis contente qu'ils soient tous là pour me distraire. ce matin je me suis levée d'une humeur exécrable et j'ai cherché un morceau d'arnold schönberg avec le mot flowers dans le titre parce que dans mon rêve c'était marqué sur mon ordonnance: flowers d'arnold schönberg, mais apparemment ce morceau n'existe pas. peut être que c'était juste des fleurs de bach. j'ai du me mettre devant un épisode de newport beach avec une grosse tranche de brioche tartinée de chocolat pour faire remonter mon moral (ç'a marché) et puis on est partis au resto dans la forêt où j'étais pas retournée depuis que j'étais petite et j'ai mangé une grosse escalope viennoise avec des frites (bof) et une glace vanille-fraise en dessert pour faire les choses jusqu'au bout. j'arrête pas de manger des beignets de carnaval aussi, j'arrête pas de dire que je vais prendre mon corps en main mais je le fais pas.

#stuff