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salmon-sushi · 3 years

Text

single parent club | aobajohsai & fem!reader

summary: Oikawa’s gift from his fan club gives you the opportunity you never thought you’d experience.

genre: crack, lots of braincells lost here and platonic relationships!

words: 3.1k

a/n: guess who wrote this instead of listening to her online class? also @akasuns thank you for wanting to read more of my works 🥺 i’m really honored!!!

index

The early morning mist begins to clear, the rising sun casts a rosy hue across the morning sky and the birds begin chirping their morning melody to welcome a new day. Kindaichi breathes in the much needed fresh clean air, his eyes blinking blearily in an attempt to stay awake as he walks to the gym at the start of the Golden Week. He pushes the heavy metal doors of the gym using his right leg and sees the sun pouring through the windows of the school’s gym, making the gym glow in soft orange.

“Morning.”

Kindaichi yawns his greeting as he stretches his arms and back. Not hearing hollers from his teammates, he looks around the quiet gym, rubbing his arms when the temperature gets a bit chilly before finding the team’s libero and second year setter eating leisurely. He swears that he hears some sniffles from them, “What are you guys eating, Yahaba-san?”

The second year setter turns around and shoves a box of chocolates in Kindaichi’s hands, his voice muffled as he attempts to speak with his cheeks puffing like a hamster, mouth full of sweets. “Oimmffhmfmffh.”

Watari clicks his tongue in distaste as he shakes his head before sighing, “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” He raises his hand before slapping Yahaba’s back with a loud smack. Kindaichi pales when he sees Yahaba’s whole body shake, mentally reminding himself to never piss Watari off.

“What he means to say is that Oikawa-san gave us his gifts from his fanclub.” Watari explains while Yahaba wipes his suspiciously teary eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “He said that he couldn’t possibly finish all of the chocolates anyway and that he didn’t want to share with the other senpais for some reason.”

Kindaichi picks up a piece of chocolate and twirls the confection around his fingers before popping it into his mouth. His eyes widen when the chocolate immediately melts in his tongue, the sweet taste, the creamy feel makes him feel like a newborn baby, “Hey, it’s pretty good.”

“Right?” Yahaba sniffs his nose, “Man, I want a cute girlfriend to give me one of these chocolates too. Hey, Watari, how do I get one?”

The libero’s smile becomes tight as his friend begins to nudge his side with his sharp elbow. Watari silently grips Yahaba’s wrist, which made Yahaba yelp in pain, “Not trying too hard would be a good start.”

Kunimi hums in agreement, making Kindaichi jump, “What the hell, when did you get here?”

“I’ve been standing next to you the whole time.”

Kindaichi awkwardly nods his head as he averts his gaze from his glaring friend. His hand reaches for more of the milky, buttery chocolate while leisurely talking about their upcoming training regime during the entire Golden Week.

“Aw man, I gotta admit those are the best chocolates I’ve ever eaten.” Yahaba sighs as he pats his stomach in satisfaction.

“Do you reckon Oikawa-san has more of those?” Kunimi asks excitedly. Kindaichi raises an eyebrow at his friend, whose impassive face is in contrast to his elevated voice.

“We can ask him when he gets back–”

POOF!

The gym’s metal doors are slammed open and you enter with a wide step while greeting loudly, a quirk you always did everytime you step inside the gym. You look around the empty space, only finding a cart filled with untouched volleyballs, the net hasn’t been set up yet and an empty box decorated cutely before discovering four babies in your school’s volleyball shirt.

You suck in a sharp breath, feeling panicked and wondering if the coaches mentioned about bringing their children along to practice, which is impossible because they won’t be arriving until late afternoon. Walking slowly and cautiously towards the group of babies, you finally recognised the hairstyle of each child. You tilt your head in confusion, “Eh?”

“Is this a joke?” You asked yourself.

Just to be sure, you call each of their names loudly, making sure your voice resonates throughout the quiet gym. But only the babies reply in their gibberish language, which only confirmed your far-fetched theory. “They’re babies. I’m sure of it.”

Looking around and making sure that nobody else is in the gym, you let out an excited squeal, “I’m finally able to realise my trashy novel fantasies!” Wiping a stray tear with a finger, you sniff, “I’m a single mother now!”

Placing a hand on your forehead, you twirl around dramatically before falling down in front of the babies with the grace of a swan on the gym’s floor, earning happy babbles and applause from them. You silently lament about wanting to wear a fluffy long skirt instead of the school’s tracksuit, just so that you could feel like Snow White and the four dwarfs– you mean, babies. You keep a neutral face as you silently creep your hands towards the unsuspecting Yahaba baby while the other three babies are focused on the empty box in front of them. Lifting your hands, you tickle the child as you coo at him, laughter filling the gym’s empty noise as the baby squirms under your mercy.

The remaining third years finally arrive and they greet you casually before stopping in their tracks. “Whose kids are they? The coaches?” Matsukawa asks as he shoves his hands inside his pockets.

Shaking your head, you hand a tired, red faced Yahaba to the middle blocker, who then awkwardly holds the baby in his arms, “Nope. Guess again.”

Hanamaki sends a glare to a scowling baby whose hair is parted in the middle, reminding him of a certain junior who refuses to move during practice, but he decides against it, “Nah, where are our little kouhais though?”

Your body slumps as you groan, rolling your eyes before Oikawa steps in front of you and points at the babies on the floor. “Now, now, [Name]-chan before you create your monstrous sounds–”

“Hey!”

“–these babies are our kouhais, right?”

His question received no reply, but no objection either. Matsukawa silently settles the baby in his arms on the ground and slings a hand around Hanamaki’s neck before moving towards the exit. Iwaizumi crosses his arms and glares at the two friends, “And where do you think you’re going?”

Hanamaki raises both of his hands in a calming gesture, “We’re off buying food. For the kids.”

Matsukawa waves a hand with a smile on his face, “Want anything from Family Kart?”

The captain hollers that he wants onigiri, along with a few chocolate bars for their precious manager in case she decides to be a monster with all the groans she’s producing. Feeling annoyed, you pinch Oikawa’s side and flash a sweet smile when the captain cries in pain as Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow, “Didn’t you just eat breakfast?”

Oikawa smirks as he manages to slap your hand away, placing a hand on his hips as he tilts his head to the side, “This is why we’re different in terms of height, Iwa-chan.”

“Huh?”

Seeing Iwaizumi already raising his fist, you quickly stop both of them before Iwaizumi proceeds to demonstrate violence towards impressionable children. The last thing you need is a baby fight. Silently panicking, you begin to think of possibilities of baby injuries– you know next to nothing when it comes to treating injured babies. Worse, the babies are actually the first and second year regular players of the volleyball team and for them being stuck as babies in the start of Golden Week. “Imagine explaining this to the coaches!” you scream mentally.

Iwaizumi notices you beginning to lose your cool, he pats your back, “We’ll help you take care of them.”

“Only you, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa pipes in.

In your eyes, Iwaizumi is your saviour, while Oikawa is nothing but dust. You stick your tongue at the captain, in which he is happy to reply with his own while pulling his lower eyelid. Iwaizumi grits his teeth, his body tensing before he sucks in a deep breath. His body visibly relaxes and he exhales slowly, the tension in his face begins to fade and he looks calmer than before. “Right, only I will help you, [Name].”

“W-whoa, Iwa-chan,” Feeling demure, the blush on your face sears through your cheeks and for a minute, you think your face is on fire. Suddenly, Iwaizumi becomes dependable, not that he isn’t before but– “That’s so cool! I’m totally living the trashy novel plot!”

Looking away shyly, you stutter your thanks to the boy. Oikawa huffs when he witnesses the interaction, taking out a ball and proceeds to throw it up in the air as he runs up to deliver a powerful serve.

“Oi, Shittykawa! We’re not practicing near babies.” Iwaizumi warns. The captain bites back his complaints and silently sits himself at the corner of the court, letting the ball drop and roll away freely. Seeing you and Iwaizumi being somewhat parental towards the first and second year babies churned something in his stomach. Watching you meekly hand over a Watari looking baby to Iwaizumi with rosy pink cheeks, Oikawa couldn’t help but groan, “Iwa-chan! Why are you helping [Name]-chan anyway?”

Both you and Iwaizumi turn to face Oikawa with unimpressed expressions. Feeling somewhat pathetic but his heart wouldn’t settle until he says what he has to say, Oikawa gestures his hands at you and the babies, “She’s a girl! Girls can take care of babies alone, right? Let’s practice!”

Iwaizumi widens his eyes in surprise before snickering, “Wow, Shittykawa. You just proved yourself to be a deadbeat dad.”

You’re also quick to rub the salt in the wound, cackling wildly, “Yeah, Oikawa.”

The captain gasps as he stands up, making his way towards Iwaizumi and sweeping babies Yahaba and Watari from his friend’s arms, “Hey! I’ve taken care of my nephew before and I can take care of Yahaba and Watari! Plus, they’re easier to care for~” he sings.

Iwaizumi looks doubtful when he sees Oikawa telling the babies that he wouldn’t be a deadbeat dad. Silently, he goes to Oikawa and helps him out by playing with the two babies with him.

You gasp sharply in surprise after discovering Oikawa’s real intentions. Standing up, you poke a delicate finger to his chest, “So that’s your plan, Oikawa!”

The captain merely raised an eyebrow while looking at you amusedly. “Oh?”

“You’re planning to take my husband away with your single father act!” Oikawa yelps as your hair smacks his face when you turn around, looking at him over your shoulder before scoffing, “Disgraceful!”

Iwaizumi blushes when he hears you call him your husband, he splutters, “W-what, husband? [Name], I–”

Before the ace could take a look at your growing red face after your bold claim, Oikawa laughs high and mighty with a devious look in his eyes, “It seems that you’re not a slow shrew after all, [Name]-chan.” He runs behind Iwaizumi and grabs his biceps, “But it’s too late for you! Iwa-chan will fall for my single dad charms in no time!”

Iwaizumi glares at his friend as he starts to feel uncomfortable now that he is the center of the attention. “Oi, stop it, both of you.”

However, his words are ignored as you gasp in shock and grab babies Kindaichi and Kunimi, who look very happy to be carried in one arm each. You glare at Iwaizumi with tears in your eyes, making the latter deflate under your stare as you whisper, “How could you do this to me, Iwa-chan?”

You are touched when you feel two pairs of tiny hands pat your face, it's as if Kindaichi and Kunimi could feel your sombre mood, regardless of their age. You make your way to the other side of the court with the babies, making Iwaizumi push Oikawa away from his arm, trying to calm you down as you let out sniffles of your crying.

Oikawa stands still as he watches his friend patting your back awkwardly, that is until he sees a coy smirk gracing your smug face. “Ha, I win this round, Oikawa~” your eyes seem to say.

There is no way Oikawa is losing to you.

He tries to recreate a dramatic spin he saw in the soap opera his mother loves to watch but he fails miserably as he falls down with the elegance of a chicken trying to fly. But Iwaizumi wouldn’t bat an eye. Grumpily, he lifts himself up and smiles when both Yahaba and Watari clap their hands for him. “At least my performance is appreciated,” Oikawa thinks.

“Thanks, Yahaba-chan and Watacchi.”

Meanwhile, Iwaizumi then realises that you’re fake crying because at this point, your cheeks are dry and you’re only blubbering instead. He looks up at the gym’s ceiling and sighs heavily, “Why am I even friends with them?”

A sharp cry pierces the gym and Iwaizumi quickly looks at Oikawa’s corner of the court, finding both Yahaba and Watari crying. Oikawa starts to panic as he pats the babies’ backs but they are unrelenting. He bites his lip, “What’s taking Makki and Mattsun so long? We might need to change their diapers! Pants! Whatever!”

Feeling spiteful, you giggle at Oikawa’s predicament, “Kindaichi and Kunimi are literal angels! They would never cry–”

Tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling from Kindaichi and Kunimi’s faces as they join the crying fest.

Iwaizumi stares dumbly at the floor while Oikawa laughs as you panic, asking the babies if something’s wrong. He thinks of his position as the team’s vice captain. When he first accepted the position, he didn’t think much of it. In fact, his first impression towards vice captains is that they are usually the ones who did nothing at all. Looking at Oikawa who is all but happy to join the babies in torturing their manager, Iwaizumi thinks, “Shouldn’t the captains be responsible?”

Then, he glances at you whose hands are flailing around as you are near in tears, “Managers too.”

But no, his captain and manager are both general annoyances, however endearingly so. Iwaizumi debates lying down on his back again, to have a silent mental breakdown with the chaos in the gym as a background noise, but he decides against it. Remembering how Matsukawa, Hanamaki and you were crying for him to survive in public, he thinks it would be best if he just went through this now instead of dealing with more of Oikawa and your antics.

“I think they’re hungry.” Iwaizumi helpfully informs the two of you after clearing his throat several times. Blinking twice, both you and Oikawa perk up, running towards your bags. You rummage your bag and find several boxes of Pawcky, “I have some Pawcky with me!”

“And I have spare milk bread with me!” Oikawa tells you.

With Oikawa and your combined strengths, the both of you manage to feed the children together without any fusses. With Oikawa tearing the food into smaller pieces for the kids, you quickly fill up the bottles with water in case they become thirsty. Iwaizumi becomes speechless at the perfect teamwork between you and the captain. The babies then soon fall asleep and the both of you slump onto each other. Oikawa grins at you, “Phew, we make a pretty good team, [Name]-chan!”

You beam at him, “For once you’re right, Oikawa!”

The both of you pat each other’s back and sing praises to one another as Iwaizumi sighs tiredly while he rests his heavy body against the gym wall. “Great,” he grumbles. The gym has become considerably warmer, with the bright light pouring from the gym’s windows, making the floating dusts visible to his naked eye.

POOF!

“Our children!” Both you and Oikawa scream in panic. Iwaizumi quickly stands up in action, coughing when the puff of smokes nearly engulfing the three of you. A familiar voice asks, “What, what happened?”

Watari rubs his eyes with his hands as the other three baby turned normal guys cough their lungs out from the smoke, he is met with the view of their manager and captain clasping their hands together, with tears streaming from their eyes. Oikawa holds your intertwined hands together and brings them near to his face, “Oh, [Name]-chan! They grow so fast!”

The dazed libero looks at the team’s ace questioningly, to which Iwaizumi only replied with a pitying smile, “Trust me, you don’t wanna know.”

Only then, Matsukawa and Hanamaki return from their hours-long worth of shopping for food. “You guys sure took your sweet time,” Iwaizumi says gruffly. Matsukawa averts his gaze from Iwaizumi’s scowl while whistling a tune as Hanamaki asks amusedly “Eh, they’re back to normal?”

“Normal from what?” Yahaba asks but his question is ignored by his senpais. Poor Yahaba.

As a sign of reconciliation, Hanamaki passes a bottle of banana milk to Iwaizumi, patting his back as Matsukawa passes bento boxes around to the team, “Thanks for the hard work, ace.”

A loud clap interrupts the warm atmosphere and Oikawa stands up with his hands on his hips, “Alright everyone, gather up!”

“We are already gathered, Oikawa.” Hanamaki snickers.

“Hush, you.”

You silently stand behind the captain with a resolute expression in your face as Oikawa begins his speech, “I have realised that [Name]-chan and I are not really responsible, personality-wise.”

The atmosphere turns serious, the faces of the team morph into surprise.

“So, from this day forward,” you continue, “We’ll get our acts together and form a strong bond in order to guide this team to the nationals!”

“And crush the Ushiwaka bastard!” Oikawa adds.

Iwaizumi’s intuition rings “Dumbass alert! Dumbass alert!” but he shoves the thought away. However, Iwaizumi remembers the sheer chaos created by the two of you just moments ago, so he grabs a ball, just in case.

You nod at Oikawa and the captain holds your hand, raising it as he continues, “We will become co-parents to you guys!”

A fast ball hits Oikawa’s face before knocking off to your forehead. You cry at the burn on your forehead as Oikawa crumples to the floor, clutching his face in agony.

“Iwa-chan!”

Extra:

You rub the reddening spot on your forehead, pouting at Iwaizumi, “Violence against a helpless woman? I thought you are better than this!”

However, Iwaizumi looks dead inside, his voice low, “At this rate, I don’t see you as a woman, [Name].”

You gasp along with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. Your heart beats faster than ever, “What does Iwa-chan think of me, then?”

“You’re more like a–” he pauses, contemplating his words. He looks at you and your red forehead, you really do look like a sad piece of work. He deflates, “–an annoyance. But not really.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow as he slaps Iwaizumi’s shoulder, “Huh? You called me a bug once when I really annoyed you, Iwa-chan!” He then nudges Iwaizumi’s side, “You wanted to call her a bug, right? It’s okay. [Name]-chan is a big girl, she can take it–”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.” you grab a tissue offered by Hanamaki. “Being a bug is cool too.” you cry, blowing your nose as both Hanamaki and Matsukawa gasp at Iwaizumi scandalously.

“Can we get to practice, now?” Iwaizumi asks, red faced.

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