the hell of vegeta swearing to never fight again is that he actually follows through, at least in the beginning.
there are seven years between cell and buu. in every version of the media i’ve gone through--english manga, uncut dub, uncut jp, kai dub--bulma says that vegeta has trained the last five years before the tournament. which can only mean that there was a two year gap right after the cell games where he didn’t train at all.
and like. can you really blame him. his purpose in life has been cut out from under him not once but twice, first by goku attaining super saiyan and avenging their people by killing freeza, and then by goku’s decision to stay dead and deny him the opportunity to surpass him. his strength has proven insufficient time and again no matter how hard he works, overshadowed by a boy half his age. his pride hinges on both of those things and even before that was mercilessly trampled on. he dies on namek crying at the feet of both of his bitterest enemies, begging one to kill the other for his sake, after being thoroughly thrashed in front of an audience of people weaker than him (no basia, i won’t get over this). he has no people. no planet. no purpose, power, or pride. i really do think the only things keeping him going by this point are inertia and spite.
what he does have is has seven years to gnaw on a question that will not let him rest. why is goku so much stronger than he is, being what he is? why is he so inadequate? almost without doubt, this is the absolute nadir of vegeta’s existence: at least, the nadir for the man he thinks he has to be, or can’t reconcile not being. if he has nothing, if the last things tethering him to his supposed innate nature (to borrow a turn of phrase from @kanthia, shameless plug,) are torn away from him, what is left for him to do but accept defeat and submit to change?
what he doesn’t know yet is that that’s okay. he doesn’t know yet, but the seven years that goku is no longer a presence in his life is perhaps the best thing goku could have possibly given him. there’s space for new things to grow where his animosity and aggression burned holes in him. even if vegeta is still focused on nursing the embers of that blaze and ignoring the encroaching growth as hard as he can (bulma mentions to gohan that he’s dead set on making trunks stronger than him, and why would he care about that goal specifically otherwise), he is still beginning to care about things that the old him wouldn’t.
and then.
and then all of a sudden, goku is back in the picture. there is now a window, fleeting as it may be, for vegeta to get some answers he probably thought he’d never get. there is now the terrible possibility that he can put things ‘right’. and goku’s willing to let him take that shot and get those answers, right up until the whole business surrounding buu disrupts everything and then he isn’t anymore.
because the thing is, they were scheduled to fight each other before anybody else. vegeta was not supposed to see the gap between him and goku until he was experiencing it for himself, and then his only recourse would be to demand answers from goku--who would surely give them, to the best of his ability!--or to come to his own conclusions and act from there. instead, he's given time to realize that he’s still inferior, he still doesn’t understand why, and most importantly that babidi is an option. there is a way, at the cost of his will.
submitting to babidi to force goku’s hand and close the gap is the act of a man who knows that he is running out of time. vegeta’s pride would not possibly have allowed this unless he was so desperate for closure that he couldn’t see another way. for ten years he’s been trying to rebuild a sandcastle below the high tide line, and it’s not that he’s too stupid to move farther up so he isn’t freshly shattered at every pass--it’s just that trying to power through in the face of futility is literally all that he knows to do. he has been coming apart, stitch by stitch, his worldview and his preconceptions of destiny and self dissolving under his feet in slow motion ever since he met goku. this is the last chance he has, and he knows it. he knows he’s not going to see goku in the afterlife, even before he asks piccolo.
what the fuck else was he supposed to do?
the beauty of his sacrifice is that he still has the mark of evil on his forehead when he dies, even though he’s bucked babidi’s mind control by that point. he chooses to symbolically and very literally raze his old self to the ground for the sake of all that his new self cares for. WHICH IS WHY, his coming back to life actually narratively works for his character: new growth roots in ashes, phoenixes and sapling trees both.
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catching feelings, part 2 (part 1)
[Image IDs/transcripts under the cut!]
A seven-page, black-and-white Psychonauts fancomic based on Puzz's "Cally O'Pia" AU.
PAGE 1:
There are three square panels, of increasing size, arranged diagonally from the top left of the page. Cally O'Pia (an AU version of Loboto), is asleep on his stomach on a simple futon mattress. He is wearing a sleeveless sweater, flower-patterned pants, large round glasses like his childhood self, and shaggy shoulder-length hair with a flower tucked over his right ear. The panels show him gradually waking up and sitting up.
PAGE 2:
There are six panels, the first of which is a full-page spread, showing Cal is stepping off of a ladder propped against the wall. In the background is a couch, several bottles and cans scattered on the floor, decorative wall drapery and a wall-mounted shelf displaying several books and a teddy bear. The second panel shows Cal walking into the kitchen to find Oleander hunched over the counter, eating a piece of toast, looking surprised to see Cal. There is a plate with toast and scrambled eggs in front of him, and off to the side is a cup of coffee in a mug with a fish decoration. The rest of the panels show Oleander, looking somewhat anxious.
PANEL 3: (Oleander wipes his face with one arm) "Uh. Hey. Morning. Sorry for using your kitchen."
PANEL 4: (Oleander glances off to the side grimacing, rubbing his arm anxiously) "I was, uh. Super hungover. So I made like. Coffee and eggs and stuff."
PANEL 5: (Beat. Oleander, still rubbing his arm, glances in Cal's direction.)
PANEL 6: (Oleander rubs the back of his head anxiously, glancing away) "Do you. Want some."
(Cal, in the foreground, grins back) "Yea sure"
PAGE 3:
There are two panels, arranged diagonally from the top left and slightly overlapping. The first shows two plates of scrambled eggs and toast, and two steaming coffee mugs, with Cal and Oleander's hands each holding one. The second shows them both leaning against the counter sipping coffee - Oleander in front with the fish mug, blushing and looking off to the side; Cal, smiling, off to the right side, with a rounded mug with a wavy brim, patterned with flowers and a bee. There is a mostly-empty plate next to Oleander, and one next to Cal that still has a pile of eggs and a slice of toast.
PAGE 4:
There are eight panels arranged in two rows, paired into groups of two panels cutting between Oleander and Cal speaking.
Oleander: (lowering his coffee mug, blushing and glancing off to the side) "So. Uh. I've been thinking."
Cal: (grinning and raising an eyebrow, lowering his coffee mug) "No kidding? That's a new one for you. Somethin' specific or just practicing?"
Oleander: (grimacing and placing his right hand on his face) "Very funny, jackass. ...I was... I was thinkin' about, uh. About last night."
Cal: (looking surprised, blushing and sweating with a shaky grin) "Oh."
Oleander: (dragging his hand down his face, looking nervous) "Yeah. It's- ...yeah. I mean... I know we were just really drunk, but I..."
Cal: (folding his hands in front of him and leaning forward with a lovestruck look, hearts floating around him) "Uh-huh?"
Oleander: (close-up on his face, biting his lip, blushing, running his hand back to rub the back of his head) "I... do you think that we... I mean... can we..."
(close-up on Cal looking lovestruck, biting his lip, blushing and sweating, with hearts all around him.)
PAGE 5:
There are two panels, one of which is a full-page spread taking up the majority of the page. There are two large word bubbles from an offscreen Oleander, reading: "Can we forget the whole thing. Just like- pretend nothing happened and act totally normal." The background behind Cal is black with a shattering effect, with a large broken heart next to him; he is sitting with a tight, closed-mouth smile, looking visibly taken aback. The second panel is small in the bottom right, showing Cal, looking deflated, with his arms folded on the counter and a shaky, forced grin, saying: "Yeah. Sure thing".
PAGE 6:
There are four panels, the first of which is a full-page spread showing Oleander and Cal standing in the living room. There is a couch behind them with a throw blanket over the back, decorative drapery, beads and photos on the wall, and several bottles and cans littering the floor around them. Oleander pulls on his jacket, staring at the litter, while Cal stands next to him, visibly tense, holding one arm and grinning tightly.
Oleander: "Geez. Uh. Are you sure you don't want help cleaning up?"
Cal: "NOPE ALL GOOD HERE"
Oleander: "All right. See you at work?"
Cal: "UH HUH".
The second panel shows the outside of Cal's house, with rough vertical wood paneling, an open doorway with decorative drapery and beads, and a long horizontal window to the left. Oleander is walking off into the foreground, looking back over his shoulder to wave goodbye to Cal, who is leaning against the doorway with a grin and waving back. The third panel shows him continuing to stand there, arms folded and expression tight, after Oleander has gone, and the fourth shows him having collapsed face-down on the ground.
PAGE 7:
There is a single drawing of Oleander walking, swinging his arms wildly, on an otherwise empty page. He is staring down at the ground with an anxious expression and shaky grin, blushing furiously. There are hearts all around him, and he thinks: "God damn it."
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Right here's what I hope happens since we're not getting a qsmp stream like Foolish and Tina said we would get this weekend.
- they reset the art in the museum on Monday doing a nepotism and putting Tina's art of Pomme in
- wait a few days for people to see it and those that don't know about it realise that it THE TinaKitten that drew it
- have a lore stream that's potentially just Tina (and Foolish) escaping because Bagera and Cellbit chose to stay while Tina and Foolish were running to the boat and wanted to escape
- Foolish and Leo reunion, Teaduo reunion
- Tina finally gets to meet Empanada and immediately hit it off then they go to the museum as a mini family
- Tina points out the Pomme drawing and how she got in because nepotism and Empanada asks her to draw her
- Tina immediately does it off stream and privately messages the admins to put it in the museum and then she'll post it on the next monday after they've seen it so it's not spoiled
- chat and Em both freak out at seeing Tina's adorable drawing and then all the other eggs keep asking Tina to draw them
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slarpg is such a good fucking video game you guys
i bought it during the autumn sale a couple weeks ago "'cause y'know i heard some good things so i might as well pick it up"
i started playing it two days ago and today i beat it. i basically did nothing but play it for two/three days straight it's so FlfguCKING GOOD HOLY SHIT ITS SUCHA GOOD VIDEO GAME
THIS IS YOUR SIGN. IF YOU ARE ON THE FENCE ABOUT PLAYING IT YOU SHOULD DO IT BECAUSE IT IS SOOOO ACTUALLY SO GOOD
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