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privarot · 1 year

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arrancars reacting to you kissing them for the first time

listed: grimmjow jaegerjaquez, ulquiorra cifer, coyote starrk, tier harribel, nelliel tu odelschwanck, di roy rinker, cyan sung-sun, emilou apacci, franceska mila rose and szayelaporro granz

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

his first thought is that you are incredibly bold to put yourself anywhere near his mouth.

though, it also runs through his mind that maybe you are trying to eat him.

however the second your lips find his, he’s confused and oddly enamored by it. he will not know how to kiss you at first. you will absolutely have to teach him how it works and he WILL get addicted to the way your mouth feels on his.

you’ve created that monster, now deal with the consequences.

he’s a bit bitey, so be prepared for that, but he’s actually quite loving when he kisses you. he pours all the emotions that he has a difficult time voicing into that one bit of physical contact. plus, he just really likes how warm you feel against him.

he becomes eerily good at it, too. he knows all the ways to fluster you and he'll make sure to do it every time so he can tease you about how easily you fluster under his attention.

feel free to kiss him anywhere at anytime. he will drop everything he is doing to kiss you back, and then grin wide when he pulls back, his thumb running across your bottom lip while he leans close to you. (may i mention that he would get quite touchy-feely?)

“give me another?”

Ulquiorra Cifer

much like grimmjow, he thinks you’re brave for coming near a hollows mouth, but unlike grimmjow, he initially thinks you are… not smart for it.

he doesn’t know how human affection (or affection at all) works, cut him some slack here.

he will awkwardly stand there stone-faced until you lean back. then he will question the hell out of you to try and figure out why you just did that and why he liked it.

he’s a very good learner, so he’ll pick up on it fast. he can and will catch you off guard the first time he initiates a kiss. you’re mid-conversation with someone else when he walks by, stops to press a chaste kiss to your lips, and then continues on with his day like nothing happened.

it’s safe to say that he has no shame and does not care for people seeing brief displays of affection. you are his, yes? they should know.

brace yourself for when he nonchalantly tells you he likes how your lips taste. he has no tact. and then he'll be confused as to why it flusters you so.

though, he does become oddly quiet after you kiss him. he has a hard time finding the words to tell you how it makes him feel. he's just a little flustered.

Coyote Starrk

he is… confused to say the least.

you laid one on him while he was about to take a nap before rolling over to take one of your own.

suddenly he is very awake and very perplexed as to why his chest feels so tight all of the sudden. he lays there until you wake up, watching as your chest rises and falls with your unconscious breaths.

the second you’re up he wants to know why you did that. he wants to know what that means. much like ulquiorra’s curiosity but much less monotone. rather, the poor guy looks like he may cry (out of happiness, i promise).

he was alone for a long, long time, and he still struggles with that lonely feeling, so to know that you did that to show your affection for him… it fills whatever replacement he has for a heart with joy.

he wants you to kiss him all the time now. he can’t sleep without it. he takes to kissing across your knuckles while you tell him about your day, and when you return that love with a little peck to his lips, he offers you a fond smile and asks you to lay down with him.

expect lots of sleepy kisses while he's settling down for a nap with you bundled up in his arms.

Tier Harribel

she is much more collected than the boys have been.

she blinks slowly at you; confused and yet intrigued by what that meant.

tier is used to forms of affection from tres bestias, but never this (consider a poly, mayhaps). it is needless to say that it fascinates her a bit...

but also... she adores that look on your face as you leaned in to kiss her.

if you catch her in her natural state, she is ever so thankful for the presence of her mask on the lower half of her face. her cheeks turn a darling shade of red when your lips hit the teeth of her mask. if you've caught her in her resurrección, you're blessed with getting to see that blush. she tries to ignore the way she can feel her face grow warm.

regardless of her initial fluster, she will want to return that kiss. imagine sharing soft kisses with her when no one else is around, her hands carefully cupping your face as she brushes her lips across yours.

she can't think of anything better than being here, enveloped in your arms and watching you squirm under her affections.

Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck

oh boy does she squeal.

she is immediately enamored.

"aww, y/n! do it again! do it again!"

she crushes you into a hug and then covers your face in kisses, giggling the whole time.

she hasn't been kissed before, either, but she knows that whatever you just did to her made her feel incredibly happy and she demands to have more of it.

you can expect a ton of kisses from her constantly now. it doesn't matter where you are, who is around, or what you're doing; nel will bounce right over to you and lay a big kiss on your lips. or all over your face. either works.

she thinks every inch of you is stunning and will show you that by kissing all of you. she wants you to feel loved and appreciated, so you will get lots of this. especially if you are feeling down.

also, she'll scoop you up while in her resurrección, arms wound tight around your waist while she trots around and kisses you with loud "pop!"s.

Di Roy Rinker

this boy turns red.

his entire face. all of it. and then down his neck to his shoulders and chest.

he stammers for some kind of response, his one visible eye blown wide. you'd just put your mouth with his! don't you know that's dangerous for hollows? he can't believe that you did something so daring but...

he's absolutely overjoyed. he looks at you with the softest expression he's ever wore. and he looks at you like that all day. you'd really done something like that because you loved him, huh? done something so vulnerable just because you wanted to show him some affection.

he's too bashful to directly ask for another kiss for a while; trying to play a little bit of his "tough guy" act and make it seem like he didn't like it as much as he did. he doesn't need to know that you can see right through that.

however, after a few days of being unable to sleep well and staring blankly at the ceiling, remembering the feeling of your lips against his, he'll cave. he'll come to you, hands fidgeting in front of him, and ask ever-so-sweetly for you to give him another.

he'll turn that same shade of red every time you kiss him, but he can't bring himself to be embarrassed about it.

Cyan Sung-Sun

she finds it adorable.

you pulled her arm down and away from her face just to get a quick peck in before putting everything back in its spot.

her eyebrow slowly arches and you can see the smugness reach her eyes.

while she doesn't really understand the meaning, she can see every ounce of how flustered you are and therefore must tease you for such. she thinks that embarrassed little look on your face is very, very cute.

"aw, are you nervous, y/n? that was so sweet~"

prepare yourself for her sneaking up on you to give you kisses now. like i said, she absolutely adores that look on your face and wants to see you turn all red for her.

she'll wait until no one is looking to lower her arm and lean over to give you a kiss or two. then she'll chuckle quietly to herself as you stammer and turn your head away.

if she's feeling especially playful, she'll hook her hand under your chin and make you turn your head back to her again so she can kiss you just a little more.

you are at her mercy with this one.

Emilou Apacci

she flusters immediately.

but of course, she tries to save her pride by smacking a hand over her mouth and demanding to know what you were thinking.

her eyes are absolutely huge and you can see the blush creeping up and across her face.

once you've explained it to her, she'll (very poorly) retain that attitude with a little "oh." she doesn't want to admit that she liked how soft you felt.

nonetheless, eventually she will cave. unlike di roy's shy request for more, she will demand it out of you; arms crossed and lips pressed into a pout. however a kiss will wipe that pout right away and you'll get a smile from her. especially if you start kissing her face in rapid succession.

"okay! enough, enough!"

while she giggles and holds onto your arms.

those kisses will bring her out of a foul mood near immediately; any stressor long forgotten.

she's an absolute sucker for you.

Franceska Mila Rose

quite like sung-sun, she finds it very cute.

she can tell just from how you're acting that it means a lot to you, whatever it was.

she doesn't overreact or anything of the sort, but if you were to look at her ears, you'd see the tip of them turn red. plus, she smiles so sweetly at you for it that it makes it well worthwile.

she'll ask you to teach her how so she can reciprocate your affections.

she's one to kiss you randomly no matter who is around and looking, too. she doesn't care if someone sees or points it out. what's wrong with her loving on her partner?

she loves when you kiss other parts of her, too. she's very proud of all the muscle she's built herself to have, so when you press feather-light kisses to her arms, she can't help but to puff her chest out in pride.

she's pretty touchy in general. she always has one arm slung around you, whether it's your waist or your shoulders. kisses just add more onto that. she wants you to feel loved and appreciated in the same way that you make her feel.

Szayelaporro Granz

to say he's interested is an understatement.

congratulations, you've just unlocked yourself hours of explaining physical affection to him; the whys, hows and what ifs.

he wants to know any and everything about it. and then he wants you to teach him how to do it. all the ways to do it.

he tries anything he can think of to see how you'll react. you're going to have to tell him that he cannot just shove his tongue into a kiss immediately. teach that man some sense of humility, for the love of all things holy.

he feels like he's won a prize whenever he figures out something new that flusters you. he likes it best when he can pull you close to him (in his lap preferably) and run his fingers under your chin, so you have to tilt your head to meet his eyes. he'll tease you immensely for all of it.

he'll treat it like an experiment sometimes, but other times you can just tell that he wants to get a rise out of you. if you look deep enough into his expression and intent, you'll find that he likes the kisses just as much as you do in a more affectionate way than his teases.

how absolutely precious of you to want to touch him so.

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pandorasfavorite · 4 months

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Hi! Can I have a Dom x Reader with the prompt of "But you gotta believe me I'm never leaving you'll never cry long as I am there"? Can you make it SUPER fluffy pls?

I Have Lost it All

AN: I love hurt/comfort it's like a addiction

What could be more embarrassing than losing a little match? After weeks of training and preparation, she just swoops in and takes everything you’ve been working for like it was easy. The loss was a feeling that is hard to describe, imagine thousands of needles prickling your entire body, reminding you of not only the physical pain but also of the fact that all the hurt was for nothing.

The worst part of it all was that the physical pain was no match for the instant stutter of your heart, your lungs constricting with what's left of your borrowed air. You clutch your chest and you will your legs to push just a little further… to endure the stinging and ache for 5 more minutes until you can make it to a room. You push the dingy storage room door open with what’s left of your strength and you slide your body back against the door. Locking it closed with only your body weight.

You hug your knees, letting your head loll back to hit the door, your chest constricting harshly from lack of air. Your sobs hiccuping, no hope of calming down your cries of disappointment. Your eyes are squeezed shut, only dots of white popping up behind your eyes. Your dull fingernails are digging into your pant legs, self-deprecating thoughts pushing to the front of your mind.

You couldn't register anything aside from your own embarrassment and disappointment in yourself. The self-pity distracts you from the unsure footsteps from outside the closet. A body slumps against the other side of the closet door, and a heavy sigh as the person sits down. Then there was a small, timid knock…

Without hesitation, you sniffle and call out to the person without any real confidence, “Go away!”, you barely manage to get out. There’s silence on the other end of the door and for a small moment, you thought the person has listened to your pathetic instruction. “It’s Dom”, he says softly and just barely distant, sounding as if his head is also leaning back against the door. Your sniffles do not subside, if anything they get worse, your eyes leaking with tears.

He was the first and last person you wanted to see, was he here to tell you that you’re out of The Judgement Day? “Please..go away”, you say weaker, anyone could hear the wobble in your voice and the tremble of your breathing.

“I won’t- no- I can’t leave you like this”, he says through the door, fidgeting with his hands. He’s anxious to comfort you, he doesn't want to mess up something so new and genuine. You hear his words and you inhale deeply only for your intake of breath to be ripped away by another body-racking sob, finally breaking down ‘in front’ of Dom.

“I fucked it all up” your chest burns from lack of air, “This is it for me” You were sure that this was going to be the downfall of your career. A loss like this is hard to come back from, Dominik of all people could understand your struggle. “It’s not. You’re family we won’t leave you to deal with this by yourself”, he stops fidgeting and he moves towards the door, now facing the barrier. You shake your head in disbelief, it is his word for many people.

“You don't know that. You don’t speak for them”, you exhale with your whole body: wishing and hoping for a solution after all this. It seems as if Dominik pondered what you said for a moment, thinking about how what you said is truthful. But deep inside his heart, he was positive that he wouldn’t give up on you, not on something like this… not ever. Much like you, his words shake, nervousness at his confession rising in his throat, “No, I don’t, but you got to believe me when I say I'm never leaving. You’ll never cry as long as I'm there”, he all but rushes.

His certainty clings with every word he says, and you feel the sadness in your chest lighten just barely. “Well, I'm crying now so that’s not true”, you whisper turning to press your check against the door now, turning your body to sit more comfortably. Unknown to you Dominik cracked a smile, running an apprehensive hand through his hair, “Then let me be there with you”.

You let the meaning of his words sink in, Dominik wanted to be by your side, to comfort, to hold, and to care for you. As if he waited all his life to have you with him, side by side, title or no title. You rise from the floor and twist the doorknob, letting the door creak open to reveal Dominik who has sat up in surprise. He hops up from the floor and wastes no time pulling you in for a hug, his strong arms holding you taut to his muscular body. The pressure was nice, grounding even. You weakly wrap your arms around him, your hands gripping at his flannel and you bury your face into his shirt. Letting a few more stray tears seep from your eyes.

Dominik says nothing else, just simply letting you cling to his body and allowing you to feel every emotion that presents itself. Tentatively and almost unsure his lips press onto the top of your head, a firm kiss grounding you once and for all calming your tears and jolting breathes.

#dominik mysterio fanfiction #dominik mysterio x you #dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio #dom dom #dominik mysterio fluff #dominik my bbg #wwe #dominik mysterio angst #friday night smackdown

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hongcherry · 5 months

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pretty please (forgive me) || c.sc

Seungcheol's POV of the argument in Chapter 4, after taking you to his home while Joshua cares for Dae.

🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (afab)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: PG-15; Angst; Pretty Please couple, college au

🍒 Warnings: None but plz lmk!!!

🍒 Word Count: 1.8k

🍒 Author's Note: This is NOT a standalone story; it probably won't make sense if you haven't read Pretty Please, or at least chapter four lol.

pretty please masterpost | seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

“When I leave in the morning, I don’t want you contacting me anymore.”

Seungcheol’s head snaps up at your demand, but you’re already turning around and walking away. His mouth falls open, your name getting caught in his throat.

He wants to argue that he does stick up for you. He does wish his friends would stop being rude to you. But he knows it won’t do any good. His actions don’t add up to his words—at least in your eyes.

He’s told them several times behind closed doors to stop. Maybe he hasn’t been stern enough.

Seungcheol groans and slumps against the couch, an arm covering his eyes to block out the bright lights.

A lot is running through his head, and he feels like he’ll never catch up. One problem tends to cause another—leaving more unresolved issues. He’s just running endless laps at this point.

The moral side of him says he should be upset with you slapping Hajun. He’s never been one for violence unless deemed necessary. He’s only gotten into two fights in his life, but he’s never been the one to start them. But you? You started it.

And that’s not okay.

At least, that’s what the rational part of his mind is telling him.

But something about you makes it hard to be upset. Perhaps it’s because Hajun hasn’t been kind to you. He’s aware of the rude things she has said. Hell, he’s sure she says worse when he’s not there. It’s reasonable that she pushed you to violence… Right? So, you’re not completely at fault.

But you still had other options.

But Hajun was overstepping.

But…

Fuck.

Seungcheol rushes to his feet. He’s buzzing with confusion and itching to move. He starts pacing the living room as he’s feeling overwhelmed with cognitive dissonance.

He doesn’t even realize his pacing has led him to the guest bedroom.

His heart hammers in his chest knowing you’re in there. You should be out here with him. You should be… with him.

Seungcheol shakes his head at his thoughts. He’s lost count of how many times he’s thought of you as more than a friend.

Sighing, he leans sideways against the wall near the door. He’s sure he’ll give you a spook if you come out, but he doubts you’ll do that. You’re stubborn and will probably stay in there until you leave the next morning without a word.

His heart twists at the thought.

There’s a big part of him that hates himself for upsetting you. He never wants to be the reason why you’re sad.

Though now he wonders how much unknown pain he’s caused you.

Do you really think he believes what Hajun and Hana say simply because he’s friends with them?

His initial thought is that’s ridiculous, but after forcing his feet in your shoes, he realizes maybe you have a point.

And it doesn’t make him feel good.

Seungcheol presses his back against the wall as he runs a hand through his hair, then over his face.

If you hadn’t recruited all his friends for your senior project, then maybe he could’ve avoided all this.

He could have spent his final college year just hearing rumors about you.

He could have done without the bickering, the drama, the heart fluttering…

He could have never gotten to know you. You with your addicting personality; you with your desire to be and do better; you with your beautiful smile.

Even though you did recruit his friends, he could’ve put distance between you two. But how could he when you were always capturing his attention? Do you know how much he struggles to keep you out of his mind? Do you know how much he likes being around you?

Sure, you’ve got a mouth on you, and you’re not always the most considerate or friendly, but he can tell your heart is good. Even when it doesn’t always seem like it. You’re not the heartless bitch people claim you to be. It’s nice to see the Yn behind her walls—even if it’s just a glimpse.

Seungcheol inhales a deep breath and pushes himself off the wall. He makes his way to his bedroom.

It’s getting late, and at this rate, you’ll find him passed out outside the door like a kicked-out puppy.

He enters his bathroom to brush his teeth but stops when he sees your discarded dress drying in the shower. He nearly forgot what had happened with Dae before he found you earlier.

He makes a detour from the sink and grabs the dress. He plans to have it washed and dried for you in the morning. He spends a little longer than necessary prepping the settings and products because he wants to make sure he isn’t going to ruin it somehow.

Seungcheol heads back to his room once he’s done, brushes his teeth, and then climbs into bed.

He spends ten minutes on his phone, not really doing much but just passing the time. It’s not until he comes across the picture he took of both of you that he pauses.

Your face is scrunched slightly in confusion as you hold your ice cream. He, on the other hand, is smiling widely at the camera. Although he had hoped to capture the smile of yours that he likes so much, this has its own special charm to it.

A small grin forms on his lips unknowingly. He wonders if anyone has seen this side of you, or if he’s the only one who’s seen it. He wishes it was just for him, but Dae has known you longer and it’s only logical that she’s seen more sides of you. Despite this, Seungcheol hopes he’ll see a part of you that’s only reserved for him one day.

Seungcheol stares at the photo a little longer before setting it down on the table.

It doesn’t feel right that you’re upset in his home. More so, it doesn’t feel right that you’re upset because of him.

He wants to change that.

Before he can talk himself out of his plan, he leaves his bedroom and makes a beeline to yours.

He raps lightly on the door instantly, not allowing his brain to overthink.

“Cherry?” he calls out softly.

There’s no answer.

Maybe you’re still mad at him.

“I just want to apologize, can you let me in?” he explains.

Still no answer.

He wants to turn away, but knowing you don’t plan to stay in the morning means this may be his only chance to talk.

Ever so carefully, he opens the door.

The room is dark except for the small moonlight shining through the blinds.

You’re asleep on the bed, hair neatly around your face. He wonders if you do that purposefully or if you naturally look put together.

He should leave seeing you’re not awake, but his feet refuse to move. At least, not in the direction he should be.

He stands next to the bed for an awkward second.

You look cute, and he has the urge to swoop you in his arms and cuddle you like a stuffed animal.

He soon realizes how much of a creep he must look like and tells himself he either needs to leave or do something—anything other than staring down at you sleeping.

Fuck it.

He lifts the covers and slides in.

His hand lands on your waist as he uses your body to slide closer. Your body is warm, and it makes him want to snuggle against you, but he forces himself to stay a bit away.

Well, he tries.

He can’t help but pull you nearer until your head is tucked into his chest. You feel so comforting in his arms.

Seungcheol closes his eyes as he starts rubbing your back softly. Thoughts of him being the cause of your frowns make him want to soothe you without words.

He continues his gentle movements until he feels something wet on his chest. His eyes peel open and glances down.

A few tears run down your cheeks, and before he can think things through, his hand wipes the fresh tear away.

Seungcheol coos softly and rubs your back again. Your head moves to rest against his chest once more.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispers, heart heavy with guilt.

You wiggle closer, causing a sad smile to adorn his mouth. However, it falls a second later.

"You want me to leave you,” Seungcheol begins. He’s not sure if you’re awake now, but he just needs to get these feelings off his chest.

Your hands come up to clutch his shirt, however, that doesn’t stop him from continuing.

"But haven’t you realized I can’t do that? You were confused when I told you I wouldn’t leave you even if I could," Seungcheol starts to explain, but the truth gets stuck in his throat. He’s not sure if it’s right to tell you this if you’re not conscious, but he’s here already. He might as well tell you how he feels. Maybe telling you when you’re asleep will prepare him for when he does it face-to-face.

"I can't leave you, because I... I like you. More than just an acquaintance, or a friend,” he finishes.

Your hands tighten in his shirt harder, pulling him slightly closer. He can still feel the wetness grow against his chest.

He just wants to take away whatever pain you’re feeling.

"Shh, don't cry,” he murmurs, kissing the top of your head gently.

Seungcheol stares off into the dark room as he soothes you. It’s quiet, but he doesn’t mind. He just wants to hold you however long he can.

Seungcheol glances down when he feels your hands slowly release his shirt.

You eye his chest in confusion, then peer up to his face. He can tell you’re disoriented. Perhaps you thought this was all a dream. How much did you hear?

“C-Cheol? You’re real?” you groggily ask.

He feels your body tense for a moment, and he fears you’ll leave right now. That you’ll continue the argument you both had earlier.

But you do neither.

“I’m real, Cherry,” he reassures. “I’m right here.”

You stare at him for some time. Seungcheol’s heart is beating quicker than he’d like. You may not have left then, but you’re waking up more as the seconds tick by. You could change your mind.

Seungcheol doesn’t even remember your hands are still against his chest until you glance at them. Suddenly, he’s glad it’s dark in the room because he can feel his cheeks heat in embarrassment. He’s sure you’re aware of his fast heart rate now.

He’s about to apologize again, but without warning, your mouth finds his.

You muffle his gasp with your kiss. It only takes two seconds for Seungcheol to stay dumbstruck before he matches your feverish energy. Fuck, he’s wanted his lips on yours for the longest time.

Seungcheol holds your waist a little tighter and kisses you a little rougher. Now that he’s finally tasted you, he never wants to stop.

A/N: I hope y'all liked seeing Seungcheol's POV for the first time! I have a few more ideas for the couple, but if you would like to see something, just lmk! I can't promise I'll write it, but I'll highly consider it! ♥️

Also, Seungcheol went live while I was writing this, so talk about perfect timing for inspo! lol

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

#seungcheol fanfic #scoups fanfic #svt fanfic #scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #svt angst #scoups angst #seungcheol angst #s coups fanfic #scoups x y/n #scoups x you #kvanity #kdiarynet #q

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sparrowofthedawnsworld · 1 year

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Just as I offered, here’s a little sneak peak into the Pirate!Jake fic 🥰

••••

“If I may ask, why are you still lingering, princess?”

The name falling of his tongue was like a drug. The most addictive drug one could find. Somehow he made the most flattering and important name, sound so degrading.

You stood frozen in place for a few moments too long, struggling to find a genuine reason for staying around - of which you did not have.

He hummed to himself, head tilting back slightly, “Just as I thought. You haven’t any good reason.”

You opened your mouth to attempt some sort of protest, once again falling short.

“If I may, your majesty,” Jake stood to his feet and sauntered to the door. “You are quite the gem. So exquisite and beautiful. Too bad you are too feisty and disobedient for my liking.”

Your whole body began to boil with various emotions; you were flustered, angry and immensely intrigued by him. He was setting you ablaze in a foul, but irresistible way.

“And… you are much too disrespectful for my taste,” you seethed, faltering for a moment so short, you hoped it went unnoticed. “Speaking to royalty in such a despicable manner…”

“And yet, the royalty herself, seems to be enjoying it.” Jake grinned wickedly.

You couldn’t tell if it was your body’s attempt to be intimidating, or seeking closer proximity to Jake. But without thinking too deeply about it, you stepped forward, “What makes you believe for a second that I am enjoying any of this?”

“Many reasons, Princess…” Jake began, speaking low and hushed. “You’ve taken at the very least five steps closer to this door. You could have left the second your… ‘accomplice’ dropped me in here.”

“You are terribly-“

“-Quiet, Princess. I don’t take well to being interrupted.” Jake cut you off abruptly, holding up a single finger that you couldn’t tear your eyes away from. “I would almost say you enjoy being spoken to this way, don’t you? Everyone gets tiresome with constantly hearing praises… And I’m sure praise is all you know, is it not?”

“Perhaps.” The word left your mouth bitter and clipped. He was very much right.

“Mhm, as I thought.” Jake gripped the bars of the door above his head, leaning forward as far as he could go. “You know… I could show you so much more. Make you feel so much more.”

“And what could you possibly be hinting at with such words, Jacob?” you questioned, sounding much more breathy than you had intended.

“If only I had the keys to open this-“ he gestured to the door, the only thing keeping the two of you apart. “-I could show much better than I could ever tell you, your majesty.”

“Never in a million years would I consider letting you out,” you scoffed, shoving the key that now was damp from your sweating hands, back into your pocket.

“Who said anything about letting me go?” Jake questioned seriously. “Just join me. You have the key to leave whenever you so please.”

“And… if I do choose to join you?” You narrowed your eyes, taking in his blown out pupils and all the little details surrounding them.

“Then I shall do just as I have said and show you things you will never forget.” Jake promised lowly, leaning in closer. “Things you will never want to forget,” he added.

Your faces were almost as close as they could get, you could feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke.

Without once looking away from him, you hastily retrieved the key from your pocket and unlocked the door.

Jake stepped back, allowing you proper space to slide the door open just enough to squeeze your body through and get into the cell with him.

You turned around and closed the door, closing your eyes for a split second in attempts to slow your pounding heart and process what you had just done.

As you turned back to face Jake, he immediately outstretched his hand. and bowed before you ever-so-slightly.

Hesitantly, you placed your shaking, sweating hand in his and he brought it up to his lips, “‘Tis quite the pleasure, Princess.”

Jake placed the first kiss to the top of your hand, holding your stunned gaze. He shifted his hold up to your wrist, his lips following and placing another kiss higher up.

He continued the same actions, working his kisses up your arm, until his mouth reached your shoulder and his face was only inches from yours.

Slowly, he backed you up until you could feel the uncomfortable firmness of metal bars against your back.

“You are truly quite the brave one for joining me.” Jake whispered against your ear. “Just to make things even, I plan to tease you until you’re begging and pleading for my mercy.”

#jake kiszka #jtk #jake kiszka smut #pirate!jake au #jake kiszka x reader #jake gvf #greta van fleet #gvf #gvf smut #jacob thomas kiszka #gvf fic #sparrow’s fics #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka gvf

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throneofsapphics · 8 months

Note

Can we please have some Manon x reader smut

quiet

Manon x f!Reader

Summary: Manon and reader take a break from their argument

Warnings: nsfw, fisting, light d/s, pure smut absolutely no plot, not proofread minors dni!!

A/N: absolutely you can!

It was the middle of an event, and she had dragged you back to your rooms. You ended up in an argument, apparently Manon grew tired of it. Her hand grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you into a brutal kiss. It caught you by surprise, normally Manon would tease you, pace around you, wait until you were begging just for a single touch. But, now her lips are crashing against your bruisingly, passionately, her tongue glided along the seam of your lips, nipping at your bottom lip, her other arm wrapping around your lower back.

Your hands came up to clutch her shoulders, pulling her further against you, trying to meld your bodies together as much as you can. Even though you were arguing less than a minute ago, every taste of her touch is addicting. Manon pulls away for air and you go still as iron nails trace the column of your neck.

“Can you be quiet?” Manon said, her voice sultry, dangerous and just above a whisper. There were people around - several of them in the halls outside of the rooms you’ve been given. Several with exceptional hearing.

“Yes,” you breathed, watching her expression to see if you could discover any clue or sign of what might happen next. Instead, you watch as her lips curve into a smirk, a sadistic gleam crossing her eyes. Manon flips you, pressing your body against the smooth, cold, stone wall - setting your nipples on edge.

She pins your hands above you, “keep them there.” Her lips graze against your ear. Your breath catches, but you don’t reply - you know better than to speak when she tells you to stay quiet. One word from you, and all of this could end. That’s the last thing you want right now. She lets out an edged chuckle, “listening so well already.”

She drags your hips back, pushing your dress up over your ass, leaving you bared to her. “Nothing underneath?” Her voice is cold, cool, calculating, and sends a shiver down her spine. She drags one finger through your folds, before pushing in - brutally and without warning.

You bite harshly on your bottom lip to keep any sounds from escaping. She adds another, twisting inside of you - stretching, and you get an idea of what might be heading your way next.

Her hand fists the back of your hair, forcing you to look at her. “Can you take it?” Her eyebrow raises, a challenge. She’s giving you a chance to back out. You only give a quick nod. Satisfaction rolls from her in waves. “Watch.” Manon orders.

You force steady breaths in and out of you as she adds another, slowly pumping in and out of you, but her eyes never leave yours. The intensity is enough you’re nearly overwhelmed, but you can’t bring yourself to look away. The thrusts are harsh, sending you rocking into the wall, with only your hands to brace you as she kicks your feet further apart. You scramble to keep your balance. She snorts, adding a fourth finger before starting to fuck you brutally. Whimpers and moans threaten to leave your mouth, but you dig your teeth into your bottom lip - enough you’re drawing blood, but you’ll do anything to keep this from stopping.

“A precious little slut,” she murmurs, pushing her hand under your dress, running ghost like strokes up and down your spine, as she adds the last finger - her entire fist inside of you. You struggle to keep your breathing. So far, stretched so damn far to the point of pain, but you know pleasure will be there soon. One hand digs into your hips - likely leaving bruises, as she begins fucking you - just on the edge of brutality. Gods it’s incredible, your entire body is shaking, your legs struggling to keep you steady, your fingers grasping against the smooth wall - trying to find a hold. Pleasure rolls through you in waves as you clench around her fist.

“Come for me,” the pure possession and command in her voice sends you flying over the edge, silently screaming as an orgasm wrecks your body. She slowly pulls out as you begin coming down, one arm wrapping around your waist to keep you from falling. The emptiness left behind is strange, but you don’t have time to think about it, she tugs you back against her chest, holding her hand up to your mouth.

You know what to do on instinct, and lick her fingers, palm, and part of her wrist clean - until all of your arousal is gone. She holds you upright for a few minutes, letting you regain your composure - enough so you can stand on your own.

“As much as I’d love to keep stay here, we do need to make an appearance.” Manon murmurs into your ear. “You can speak now.”

“Thank you,” you throw your head back against her shoulder, still trying to catch your breaths.

Manon straightens your dress, running a hand over your hair to tame it - as much as she can. But, based on your scents and the pink flush of your cheeks, everyone will know. You don’t find yourself caring too much.

Finally, you’re able to take a few steps back, and glance down her, to where her cunt is - you know she’s wet and aching at this point. “Can I?”

She glances at the door, then back to you. “Later.”

A low whine escapes your throat, and she rolls her eyes. “Don’t be greedy. You’ll take what I give you.”

#throne of glass fic #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass smut #manon blackbeak x y/n #manon blackbeak x reader #manon blackbeak imagine #this is filth #not proofread sorry

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mamayan · 7 months

Note

I don't know how often we request for the Russian roulette,but I was hoping to request Geto and the numbers 3,76,60 and 95 the reader being older in her 30s and Geto being 27

Bang! … You’ve been shot!

Suguru Geto

tw: NSFW • Rough Sex • Overstimulation • Mild Angst • Possessive/Obsessive Themes • Fem! Reader

wc: 1033

You didn’t think about him as often anymore.

The underclassman which massacred an entire village overnight, his own family not spared either.

You don’t think about him like you used to.

The dark eyes of Suguru once haunting your dreams and life for years after that incident, questions going unanswered by the sweet boy who used to tease you despite being his senior. His smile radiant as he’d hide behind Satoru, your wrath unleashed as he whispered yet another filthy sentence directly into your ear.

You go about life in a mundane blur when you’re reminded of him. Eyes vacant and far elsewhere while the council chitters like rodents, occasionally pulled out by a silly expression flashed by Satoru if he happened to be present. You enjoyed those times when anyone was there to rid you of the uncomfortable sensation writhing in your chest when you recalled even his voice. The times when he used to use his tall stature against you, using you like an arm rest casually while he peaked over your shoulder to read a text message you’d be sending. “Who is that to? You never spend so long on a text you send to me,” he’d smile innocently under your baleful eyes, undeterred by your swatting hands. “You should change my contact, don’t girls use cute emoticons? Why is it only my name?” He’d use any excuse to touch you, crowd and wrap you up in his pace so seamlessly you’d miss how it even started.

The little touches soon swirled into full advances, his grip on your thigh as he swirled his tongue inside your mouth possessive. The time as horny teenagers when you just couldn’t keep your hands off one another.

Suguru was always a stubborn even then, you think, as the tug on your scalp brings you out of your thoughts. You don’t think like you used to.

“Hah—!” You don’t mean to cry out so loudly, body jolting from the shock of his harsh slap to your ass.

“Pay attention love, it’s rude to ignore me when I’m speaking,” he chides easily, hips never stopping at he fucks you at a cruel pace, your earlier releases dripping and drying on your inner thigh as you grip the sheets beneath you.

The man behind you, keeping you pinned and face first into the bed, hasn’t changed all that much since you were younger and more naive. He was always smart and calculating, every step like a chess battle he was determined to win.

“You’re really cute today, did you dress up just for me?” He’s referring to the lovely dress he’d torn off you, a gift from him no less, but you hadn’t actually expected to see him. Not after the weeks of silence which he likes to subject you to, but ultimately you prefer staying none the wiser of his movements and actions.

You clamp down on his cock as he reaches around you, gathering your slick up and rubbing it over your puffy nub while he continues to nail your deepest parts without mercy. “I missed you, did you miss me too?” He’s vile for playing with your heart like this, chest constricting painfully as tears leak down your cheeks. You answer despite it all, the pleasure and odd emotional pain mixing into something you have no name for but are clearly addicted to. “Y-yes, missed y-you ‘Sugu—!” You’re a mess of tears and drool as you feel another climax wash over you, face turned while he holds one hand in your hair to keep you pressed nicely below him.

“Hm, you’re cute even when you lie though.” He’s upset, you can tell from how rough he’s being with you, but you can do nothing about it.

“That’s okay my sweet little liar,” his chest touches your back, forcing you into an even deeper arch as he pounds into you. The lewd noises in the hotel room grow louder as you struggle to breathe through all the pleasure he’s subjecting you to. His hand doesn’t stop rubbing you even as you shatter, body jerking and attempting to escape from the overstimulation as he chuckles and pressed you down further. “S’too much—,” it’s a pathetic keen deep from within your throat as you’re made to take it, his thrusts only hitting deeper with how he’s got you pressed. His long hair tickles your cheek, eyes wet and blurry as you try to stay conscious.

“I think it’s not enough, don’t you? Since you keep slipping away if I fall asleep.” You couldn’t if you tried, he allows you to leave, but you can hear something dark in his tone now. His nails dig into your scalp, dragging your hair into his clutch and tugging painfully. He’s forcing your head further to the side and up so he can look at you, undeterred by your fucked out appearance as he sneers.

“You really like playing hard to get don’t you? Even in school you acted oblivious, but I’m not letting that slide anymore.”

“‘Sugu—!” Your squeal is soon muffled as he forces your face into the bedding, his angle changing so his tip painfully nails against your cervix.

“Since you won’t make a decision, I’ve made one for you.” You aren’t strong enough to sit up, body unwilling to listen as he assaults you with pure bliss and promise of another release. “I’m not letting you go anymore. You’ve worn even my patience out.” You’re delirious, his eyes drinking in your lax expression as his balls draw tight.

“No need to cry baby, you’ve got one more in you, cum again for me.” His husky voice is moaning right into your ear, fingers shifting to pinch your poor swollen clit, forcing you into a sharp climax as you soak his cock while he finishes just behind you.

“That’s it,” his teeth are grit, brows drawn tight as a sense of rightness washes over him, decision final now that he’s come to it. “So good for me,” but the opposite feeling consumes you, his kiss and hand gentle as he brushes the hair sticky with sweat off your forehead.

He’s not going to let you go anymore.

Post dividers/@cafekistune

#500 Event #Suguru Geto #Suguru Geto x reader #Suguru Geto smut #Suguru Geto x reader smut #jjk smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk Suguru smut

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dalgikiss · 1 year

Text

I called for you but you did not come // t. kuroo

index

VII: addicted to the desperation

The princess looks out of place in the middle of the countryside, with her silk kimono and the gold decorations that adorn her hair and ears. She slides off her horse with help from one of her servants, and Kuroo immediately bows.

Her sharp gray eyes do not miss the small camp set further behind him, across the hill. Kuroo keeps his head down and hopes his cat charm does not fall out from under his sleeve.

“You may stand”

He straightens and she takes a step forward, black slippers making clouds of dust billow behind her. Kuroo swallows, golden eyes never straying from her gray ones.

“My father,” she begins, and Kuroo grips the hilt of his sword, “My father has found out about the rebellion”

Kuroo freezes. The Princess scans his face, before continuing on. “He plans to make a move to stop the rebellion within three days' time. It will be hard for me to convince him to spare your life, should he find out you were working with them”

“Kuroo,” Your eyes are bright, hands full of fresh fruit, “Do you want to eat this with me?”

The Princess’s face has been carefully crafted into a poker face. “He currently suspects you with working with the rebels, although he is unable to confirm it”

“Kuroo, stop trying to bother Kenma!” Your laugh is sweeter than the birds that sing in the trees, sunshine filtering through the leaves.

Kuroo holds his breath, unable to bring himself to meet the princess’s gaze. She continues on, her sharp gray eyes watching the way his knuckles grow whiter with every minute that passes, “He has asked me for my opinion, but I have not provided one, under the guise of needing some time to think.”

“I see,” Kuroo’s voice is barely but a whisper, “And what is it that you have concluded?”

“I have concluded that this group of bandits & misfits have become something special to you”

He swallows, unsure of what to say or do.

The Princess continues on, taking his silence as a cue to continue speaking, “However, I have a proposition for you. I will do my best to mislead my father and keep your good graces with him, as well as give the commoners a chance to run. In return-“

Kuroo thinks his lungs may have just collapsed, the world dizzy under his feet as the Princess’s unforgiving gray eyes bore into his soul.

“We must get married”

Kuroo thinks he may have found heaven and it came in the form of your lips (Like he’s mentioned before, he’s a complete and total romantic).

“Five more minutes,” He pleads with you, arms refusing to go from your waist, “Just five and I promise I will let you go without another hitch in the road.

You snort, struggling to get his arms away from you, although your efforts were in vain. Damn athletes, you were seriously contemplating beginning to work out after hanging out with Kuroo so much. “Yeah right, you’ve been saying that for the past 10 minutes. Kuroo, let go or you’re going to be late for practice!”

“I’m the team captain, practice doesn’t start until I walk in”

“You mean until Coach Nekotama walks in,” You correct him before admitting your defeat, sinking back down onto the bench and Kuroo grins wildly. Kenma, on the other side of Kuroo, merely rolls his eyes at the way Kuroo visibly perked up when you resigned before saving his game and putting it away.

“I’m going to practice,” He announces, slinging his bag onto his shoulder. He takes a few steps forward before glancing back over his shoulder, piercing eyes staring Kuroo down, “I’ll be sure to tell Coach the reason why you could not be on time for practice was because you were too busy seducing a girl. Maybe he’ll make you do suicides until you puke, and [name] can watch and laugh at you”.

Kuroo blanches at Kenma’s threat, he knew all too well Kenma wasn’t joking. He scrambles to get up, hastily throwing his stuff into his bag before pressing his lips onto yours, a chaste goodbye and a promise to text you as soon as practice ends whispered against your lips before he rushes over to Kenma’s side.

You watch their figures disappear into thee gymnasium before bringing your fingers up towards your lips, gently tracing over them.

You twisted your lips, reminiscing over Kenma’s words. Seducing a girl? As though you were just another girl Kuroo had set his sights on? Never mind the fact that you and Kuroo had never quite actually spoken about what the confession had meant for your relationship, if you could even call it that.

As though to spur your anxious thoughts even more, Hime seemingly appears out of nowhere.

“You know, only crazy stalkers sit by the gymnasium when the volleyball practice starts. I would have never taken you for one of them!”

Your skin prickles at the sound of her sickeningly sweet voice. You clear your throat, matching the exaggerated polite smile on her face.

“I suppose you would know, perhaps we’re much more alike than I’d like to admit”

She narrows her eyes, her smile being replaced with a scowl. You stand, brushing your skirt free from any dust.

“It was nice seeing you again. Have fun with your stalker activities, I’m quite sure Kuroo would love to have another reason for you to stay as far away from him as possible.” You swing your bag over your shoulder, letting your shoes billow up clouds of dust in your wake. You can’t help but feel satisfied at the thought of Hime’s frustrated expression, but the smile that graces your face slides off within seconds, instead being replaced with something that feels heavy in the pit of your stomach when Hime yells something behind you.

“Don’t go thinking you’re special just because you kissed Kuroo. He hasn’t made you his girlfriend, so he’s still single!”

#hq kuroo #kuroo haikyuu #kuroo tetsuro fanfiction #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo x y/n

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ina-nis · 1 year

Text

You keep on finding triggers after triggers, huh...

How to tell people “I don’t care about your life because I’m not in it” without dealing with the drama that will incur?

“I’m so happy for you (and I don’t care or wanna hear about it. It makes me miserable).”

It’s like people just... reinforce that role of yours. This is your importance in my life and this is just how much I’m willing to share (from a distance, of course). I want to tell you all about it because I like and trust you, and we’re friends (but I’ll remain blissfully ignorant about everything going in your own life and not mind the impact that I have since it’s none of my business).

You are in their lives and yet, it feels meaningless. You might stay in their lives for 1 more day or 10 more years, it doesn’t make a difference. You know there’s an end to everything, your feelings don’t matter, theirs? They’ll move on and live without you just fine, as if you were never there in the first place.

Their small or big victories are your loss. If you feel happy for them, you’ll feel miserable about your life. If you say nothing too. Of course, you will not do anything rude because that’s exactly how you drive people away and make them hate you, and you don’t want that, so you suffer in silence.

Their loss annoys you too, you’re a loser yourself and even then, they want nothing to do with you. Just what they already have, that is not enough for you.

It’s understandable that you’ll be pissed out of your mind, and you have to keep to yourself.

You know the rules and you follow them. You have agreed to things to be and stay that way, and anything more you might want, will ruin everything. It doesn’t stop you from feeling like this is so dysfunctional and incomplete, and you’re so terribly lonely and unhappy.

But stick around like an addict.

Because any crumbs of attention soothe your wounds (while making them worse overtime).

Ah, it’s so cruel... the longing... desiring... love and hate, that you never let out, not again, not anymore.

You keep second-guessing yourself... hate being in this role of a helper or a second choice, or an afterthought, or a footnote, or stepping stones... you’re sick of being transitional, you’re sick of everything being conditional. you’re sick of feeling like you’re disposable...

But you suffer in silence, you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings anymore. You’ve done enough harm.

You keep hurting though.

Until when?

People grow roots and build their lives. You wither, your roots are rotten, you build nothing.

People take it day by day and maybe make plans. You take it day by day too, you don’t make plans because you are lost and don’t know if you’ll be alive.

People struggle and yet, they keep on going, there’s something or someone (maybe even themselves) that helps them focus. You struggle and keep on going, your life feels meaningless, and you keep on looking for and trying all things and someones, but nothing helps.

People eventually will have a strong foundation, a place to call home. Your foundation is brittle and you constantly have to start over, there’s no place to call home.

People grow older and settle. You grow older and your despair grows with you, together with the indifference and cynicism. You’ll end up hating people, won’t you? Even if you fight hard and never give up, there’s so much you can do to stop the inevitable, and all paths and options so far have showed you... absolutely nothing that can change that outcome.

#avpd #avoidance #avoidant #avoidant personality disorder

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philhoffman · 1 year

Photo

The year is off to a brutal start with this week’s Monday Philm: Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (2007), dir. Sidney Lumet

This is one of my favorite films, and though it’s impossible to point to one single performance as “the best,” it’s among PSH’s strongest work in his entire career. He is relentless and unflinching.

If you’ve seen BTDKYD, you know it’s difficult to watch. As Ethan Hawke said, “Phil dropped a lot of secrets in this film, that are very present and very painful.” On set, he spoke openly and honestly about his sobriety and struggles with addiction, an integral part of his life and this character’s development. There’s also Andy’s relationship with his father, his sense of abandonment—a lot of very personal issues and experiences that Phil brought to bear on this performance. The result is honest, raw, gutting.

I’m a writer but it’s hard for me to write about this movie. As is often the case, looking directly at this performance can feel like staring at the sun. Without getting toooo personal here, last year I experienced another drug-related loss, an overdose death, and for a day or two it was hard to look right at Phil, photos of him, to hear his voice—it was too intense, I was too upset, too angry, too embarrassed. Watching this film for the first time since then reminded me of that feeling. I picked these shots from the film before I even started writing but maybe that’s why I chose them. His honesty and vulnerability in delivering such a performance hurts, and it means the world.

In the same talk I quoted above, Ethan Hawke spoke about PSH’s commitment to truth in art: “He said, ‘As a person, I might be a flawed person, but as an actor I will tell the truth all the time.’” He was more open and direct and personal, able to say things he never would’ve or could’ve said in real life. Phil’s relentless pursuit of truth has always been his standout quality to me, even before I really had an idea of what that meant. But he’s taught me so I’ve learned—it’s brave, it’s scary, it’s exposing and sensitive, it’s so generous. The level of honesty he put into his work has the power to change lives (even if it’s just mine, thought I suspect it’s more). Exactly one month from today will be nine years since his death and I just wish I could thank him—for everything, for being himself, for being more than enough. I really hope he knows the difference he’s made.

“I’ve seen heaven, Gina. It’s a nice place to stay.”

This was an awfully rough one SO I will leave y’all with one of my favorite batshit behind-the-scenes stories: In the final scene, when Charles holds the pillow over Andy’s face, Phil genuinely could not breathe—and when he started panicking a bit, Albert Finney thought he was still acting! Absolute chaos! Imagine the TMZ headline if that had really gone south!

#everyone say thank you albert finney for ultimately NOT suffocating our boy #we really like him so we appreciate it!#monday philm #before the devil knows you're dead #philip seymour hoffman #psh #*#also andy hanson did nothing wrong #also also we can't even talk abt the first scene my brain goes brrrrr but in the OTHER bedroom scene he whimpers. he WHIMPERS!!!!#sidney lumet said i'm gonna give you heaven then i'm gonna put y'all through HELL

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barrenwomb · 2 years

Note

hii i don’t know if you’ve talked about this before but how did you realize you wanted to be a nurse? I’m kinda struggling trying to understand what i want to do with my life so it’s nice to see people who have already figured it out :)

hi! my mom is chronically ill and has been severely sick throughout all my adolescence. i spent many, many times at the hospital to keep her company during the night. i always helped her with meds and at some point i even learned how to handle a PICC catheter and what types of products were needed to prevent bedsores. i’d lie if i said i always wanted to be a nurse. i definitely didn’t. i tried the entrance test for nursing school at age 21, while i was dealing with severe depression and i had no idea what to do with my life. somehow i made it in. there hasn’t been a moment during all these years of university when i didn’t question my choice. im not strong enough and im easily overwhelmed, that’s what i thought. there way a voice inside my head telling me there was no way i could work under severe pressure. during the apprenticeship i cried so many times due to stress. i came back home feeling completely defeated and sad. i felt like a failure. then i graduated. i started job hunting as soon as i got home after graduation. i was terrified. look at me now, i’m officially a nurse! and i’m glad i made this choice. im stronger and smarter and braver than i thought. being a nurse is incredibly hard. being overworked or tired and making mistakes means you could potentially harm someone or putting their life at risk. you get to witness humanity in all its fragility. you have so many people completely relying on you. don’t be a nurse if you’re not willing to embrace people of all kinds without any kind of prejudice or ackwardness: disabled people, mentally ill people, addicts, old people, severely sick people, terminally ill people. people who are often marginalized and live in a society that’s not built for them. you’ll see blood, body humors, terrible wounds, you’ll see people breaking down and wanting to give up, you’ll be there for them during their most intimate moments. you have to give these people the emotional support they need, you have to be reassuring, you need to hold their hand when they need it the most. you have to be kind and patient, always. you have so many responsibilities and always need to be ready to handle emergencies. you’ll have to work 6, 8, 10 hours a day. you can’t afford to lower your guard or get distracted. you literally have to save lives. it’s not an easy job and it’s definitely not for everyone, but believe when i say it can be incredibly rewarding. when a patient looks at you in the eyes and says “thank you” or when they trust you enough to vent about their problems to you or when they say “i will never forget you” once they get discharged — it makes my heart burst with happiness. if you want to be a nurse ask yourself “what kind of person would i want to help me while i’m at my lowest?” and become that person. hope you’ll find your path! xoxo

#honestly i’m a nurse and i live in italy and nurses here are overworked and underpaid and our healthcare system is a mess #and this is why i’m always stressed and but burnout #bit*#ask #anon

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nostalgiaispeace · 5 months

Text

2354.

Look out of the nearest window. What do you see? Details, please. a parking lot and apartments

When you think of the word “posh”, what springs to mind? fancy english people

When you have chocolate, do you eat it room temperature? Yeah. .

Or are you like me and stick the bar into the fridge first? nope

What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened in your part of town? murder

Which brand are your headphones/earbuds? idk

Do you see planes fly over your house at all? yes

Are there any constellations you recognize just by looking at them? yes

Which room of your house/apartment do you spend the most time in? living room

Which insect do you find the most beautiful? none

Did you have crafts/woodwork at school growing up? yes

If so, what was the best assignment you did for it? I don't remember

Do you have a friend who likes to tell you everything? yes

What was the last thing you got very excited about? books You can go to any city in any country you want. Which city do you go to? london

Do you like gardening? If so, what do you grow? no

Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one’s your favourite? sometimes. i like wordle and crosswords

Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? not really?

What would you love to live next door to? i'm not sure

What gives you nostalgia? Literally everything

What’s the best thing about fall? sweaters and that cozy feeling

What’s the worst thing about fall? nothing really

Do you get cold easily? Or are you constantly hot? no. i'm always hot

When you think of a classy drink, what comes to mind first? wine

Do you prefer eating out or cooking your own meals? cooking

Which language do you think is the most complicated to learn? all of them

Is there a place that you might call your second home? No.

How do you imagine your later life to look like? idk

What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? so many

Is there a piece of jewelry that you feel naked without? yes

Do you ever “go commando”? No.

Do you ever try to make words out of number sequences you see? no?

What’s the sweetest thing someone’s done for you? be there for me when i need them

Which wild animals are a common sight in your area? birds

What’s the weirdest building in your city? idk

How do you keep in touch with friends usually? messanger

Do you get a lot of visitors? No.

Do you recognize friends’/family’s vehicles by sound? no

Which Disney villain is your favourite? none

On a regular day, what do you usually do at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? i'm teaching my class

What’s something new you’ve just recently learned? i'm too tired to think about that

Which possession would you not want to inherit from a relative? idk

What is something you would never dare to do in public? idk ? a lot of things

Would you/ did you have a hen night/bachelorette party? no

Has anyone taken you on holiday somewhere? If so, where? yes. orlando

Have you taken somebody on holiday? If so, where did you taken them? No.

Who do you see as an iconic star? marilyn monroe and britney spears

Have you ever been to a vineyard? Yes.

Are there any swans around where you live? no

Does anyone in your inner circle struggle with addiction? yes

Has anyone told you lately that you have a nice smile? no

How did you spend your last birthday? I went to breakfast and wrapped presents and watched christmas movies and read books

#me #survey

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letterstochiangmai · 10 months

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what I tell myself.

call it a lie to myself, a perspective, a view, an opinion, a truth, a story, a musing, an anecdote.

a year ago something deep and dormant laying in yourself was reignited, and like a volcano that had been lying quiet for awhile - unaware of its own ability to cover itself in hot burning lava, hurting itself, the land around it and the people that had been thriving off its minerals and all the good that it had given - erupted into the darkness of addiction and depression.

I ask myself multiple times what I had done or contributed to this darkness, selfishly, ask why I seem to always be in the centre of someone close to me suffering from these perils that knock them down, that knock me down and at the same time I am the one trying to throw that rope down to save them, pull them back up, struggling, the rope is tied around my waist, was it always tied to me and had I been careless, ignorant enough to let it go?

I remember always telling you that we will go through hardship. I expect it, we will go through a period of time where you / me will feel like we’ve fallen out of love, that life will get difficult (as life does) and that in general - no matter who you’re with, there is no perfect relationship and life will hit you in the fucking nuts. but the difference in it all and what will pull us through is that we make sure that try - that we aim to get through this together and that see that the love for each other is enough.

I wonder if you stopped seeing me as part of your journey as your mind started to break down upon itself so badly that you associated me with all things bad that was happening to you. that you felt that rightly so, I should be the one saving you even if I was unaware and ignorant to the darkness but I wasn't. I was pushing you away, or leaving you, without a clue in the world and somehow your mind made up that I wasn't the one who could save you.

I wish you had told me. I wish you had faith in me that I would've been the one here right now with you, by your side at eery minute, holding your hand, wiping your sweat, giving you the kisses and the hugs that you need.

instead in your mind your association to me has been tainted, tainted now by bad memories and the belief that I am no longer the one who could save you. that you’ve chosen a blank slate who comes with no knowledge of your history, no big opinions of anything as she knows not the 5 years of the shit we’ve gone through, and give you all the natural musings and whisperings that you desire to hear.

you chose instead something easier, and not something better. I wonder if again, when something else breaks in the relationship further down the line, you’ll leave, again, for something newer, easier, whatever is best to give you comfort for yourself in that time.

unable to seek comfort in yourself, but at the same time unable to turn to those who still love you, who support you, to work through things, get better.

we were so unlucky that our relationship coincided with the worst time of your life, and me, inextricably intertwined with this demon, Ive become the demon, the enemy, the cause, the trigger, never allowed a chance again to show the healing, love and support that I've always had, if you had given me a chance, if only I knew.

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