#the fact that sam and jack are two unrelated guys with way too much in common makes them more interesting to me

[nobodymitskigabriel]

Valid for people to want Jack to be Sam's biological child ig. But I almost think it's more insane that he adopted Lucifer's child. He had no reason to rear Jack, but he just. Decided to. That's so much more telling to me.

#the fact that sam and jack are two unrelated guys with way too much in common makes them more interesting to me #a well characterized lucifer would also think it was telling #tunnel scene and he says i wanted to thank you for raising my son 💕 #i know we've been kind of on the rocks but i think i understand and wouldnt have it any other way #sam is like i dont know what the FUCK youre talking about hes just a kid and hes nothing like you #and lucifer says sure sammy :) lets go find our son #supernatural #sam winchester #jack kline #lucifer spn

[dcforts]

[monday 7: thunderstorm]

Phone battery: 96%

One moment they are speeding up on the empty road with the windows rolled down and the sun shining on the side mirrors and the next is as if someone threw a blanket over the sky. In a blink of an eye, the clouds gather above them and they find themselves in the middle of a downpour.

“What the fuck?” says Dean, pushing the brakes and activating the windshield wipers.

“Something is wrong” is Castiel’s helpful contribution from the passenger seat.

“Yeah, no shit.”

The rain gets havier by the second, raindrops hit the roof with such violence that it’s like they are fired from a machine gun. Even after turning on the headlights they can barely see what’s ahead of them beyond the hood of the Impala. The sky lights up and then a thunder rumbles so loud that even Castiel flinches.

“We should stop.”

“You think it’s a spell?”

“Whatever it is I don’t think it’s safe to go on.”

Dean sighs and signals that he’s pulling over on the right as if, even if there was someone behind them, they could see the indicators through the amount of water that paints everything grey.

He brings the car to a stop and fishes out his phone.

Phone battery: 91%

“Sam? Where are you?”

“Just out of the morgue. I think it’s a witch” he says, sounding slightly out of breath as he walks. “Hey, I thought you were coming to pick me up. What did the husband say?”

“Sam? Listen to me, is it raining where you are?”

“Raining? No. The sky couldn’t be clearer.”

“Fuck.”

“Dean, where are you?”

“I don’t know. Just outside of town, I think. But there’s a thunderstorm and we had to stop.”

“What? A thunderstorm? Is it rain what I’m hearing?”

“Yeah, so it’s either the son or the husband and they are onto us. Seems like they didn’t appreciate our little visit.”

“You’re saying they cursed you?”

“That’s what we think”.

“Shit. Alright, at least we have suspects and we know for sure that they’re using witchcrafts or something. Just, don’t do anything till I get back to you.”

“Alright.”

“Stay safe.”

“Yeah, you too.”

  Phone battery: 86%

The rain is torrential, incessant. There is so much of it that it’s like there’s a river flowing over the windshield.

It’s not the first time that Dean got caught in a thunderstorm while he was driving. It happened more than once when he was a kid and weather apps weren’t a thing yet. John would pull up at the nearest rest area and they would wait it out catching up on their sleep.

But this is different. The rain could go on forever if something happened to Sam or if he couldn’t find a way to reverse it. That’s what bothers him more than anything, what makes him bounce his legs and clench his jaw.

He’s gone over their last two hours again and again trying to understand when and how the culprit could have done this to them but he’s had little success so far.

They can’t listen to music because they can’t risk the car running out of battery. They can’t play on their phones or do researches on their own or they will drain out their means to communication with Sam. They have no books, no food, no water. Dean doesn’t want to think about that. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel but he gets through two and a half Metallica songs before Castiel’s intake of breath and quick look his way tells him that he’s sick of it.

He retreats his hands on his lap.

Dean knows that Castiel is bothered as much as he is by the fact that they’re trapped and unable to help, even if he’s not showing it at the moment. In fact, he looks like the picture of serenity.

“How in hell can you be so calm?”

“I’m trying to be patient. There’s little else we can do.”

Dean scoffs.

Castiel shoots a look his way, then asks conversationally: “How did it go in Missouri last week?” and in response to Dean’s confused staring he adds: “The case?”

Dean gets that he’s trying to distract him and he lets him. He shrugs “Same old. Apart from Sam spilling coke all over himself, that was fun. And I got Jack a new record for the bunker. You’ve seen it?”

“He only told me about it a hundred times.” says Castiel in a pained tone. “It was nice of you.”

“Nah. You gotta teach them young.”

“You think he could join us on our next hunt?”

“We’ll see.” says Dean making a face. “But hey, you on the other hand… are getting better at interrogations. Looked pretty convincing with the kid.”

Castiel smiles: “Thank you.”

“Or, well, at least until you left the room just so you could follow his dogs,” adds Dean, raising his eyebrows.

“You can understand a lot about the owners form their pets’ behaviour”.

“Yeah?” humours him Dean, “What did you uncover? Other than they should learn how to use a vacuum.”

Castiel ignores his mocking tone. “Nothing stood out to me. But looking back now, I should have known that witchcraft was involved. They had three black dogs and I saw figurines of frogs in the living room.”

“I thought that cats were the go-to pet for witches.”

“They are generally associated with witchcraft, yes. But witches can form deep connection with any animal. Dogs, especially, escort Hecate, the triform greek-roman Goddess of Witchcraft. And Hecate takes her name from Heqet, the Egyptian goddess, usually represented as a frog. In hindsight, it was pretty clear.”

“So do you think it’s the husband? I doubt a kid alone would be able to do all that.”

“Maybe. But he seemed sincerely aggrieved by his wife’s loss.”

Dean sighs. Without any possibility to do real work that’s as far as they can get. He squints trying to see something beyond the raindrops splattered windows.

“Maybe it’s not bad as it seems.” he tries. “It’s dangerous to drive but what if we walked?”

“The curse could be cast on the car alone but I wouldn’t -”

“I’m gonna try.” Dean cuts him off, but he gets as far as resting his hand on the handle that a lightning bolt strikes one of the trees lined up down the road. There’s a loud crack and a vamp of fire that lights it up from the inside. A part of the trunk explodes and pieces go flying all over the street.

Dean and Castiel look at each other with identical alarmed expressions.

“Yeah, better say in the car.” Dean says.

   Phone battery: 79%

“Let’s play a game.”

“Alright.”

“Okay. It’s a car game. Basically you say a sentence starting with ‘Fortunately’ and based on that I have to respond with a sentence starting with ‘Unfortunately’. Like, I say ‘Unfortunately, we got cursed.’ And you say ‘Fortunately…’?”

Castiel thinks about it, then says, “Fortunately, they didn’t want us dead, only permanently incapacitated.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “Sure, that is reassuring. Alright. Um, unfortunately, I will eventually die of starvation.”

“Fortunately, we won’t have to wait that long cause Sam is working on it.”

“Yeah but unfortunately, he’s alone against the witch.”

“Fortunately, he is prepared and the witch is not too dangerous.”

“Unfortunately, he got to us.”

“Fortunately, as long as we stay in the car we are safe.”

“Unfortunately, we are trapped.”

“Fortunately, we are together.”

Dean had his mouth already opened, ready to fire his next sentence but his brain short circuits and he is stunned. He closes it again. He meets Castiel’s eyes and under his soft expression he recognizes a little smugness that comes from having silenced him. He really can’t think of anything to say.

Castiel bats his eyelashes feigning innocence. “Did I win?”

That shakes Dean up, who rolls his eyes and he is about to protest when something heavy and dark hits the window shield with a loud thump and has him almost jumping out of his skin.

“What the fuck was that?” he shouts. Instinctively one arm flies up to cover his face, his elbow out and the other reaches towards Castiel to grab a fistful of his sleeve.

“I think it was a bird,” is Castiel’s calm reply.

Dean lets him go quickly, adverting his eyes. He still feels his heart in his throat. He clears it. “Right.” Then after a moment “Don’t mention this to Sam.”

Castiel huffs a laugh.

Phone battery: 72%

And so they wait. The rain is heavy and unrelenting. Dean has cracked open his window to feel it on his fingertips and he has retreated his hand hissing for how violently it hit him. The wind picks up at intervals, it whistles around them, pushing through every draft it can find. Above them, clouds like cotton balls chase each other endlessly and lightning bolts draw threatening patterns in the distance.

Sam has texted and they know that everything is under control so Dean is feeling better now. Figuring they are going to be there a while, he has toed off his boots and climbed over on the backseat leaving Castiel plenty of space to stretch his legs, even if the guy in question has barely adjusted his position with his back to the door and lifted a knee on the seat.

Dean on the other hand, already sprawled on the backseat, has gradually slipped into a laying position. He is more or less relaxed, or at least, as relaxed as a person could be with hell going on right outside of their car but tucked in the quiet and safe space of their car, with the soothing sound of the rain on the roof.

They had worse - that’s a fact.

He lolls his head to the side to watch Castiel, who’s got his eyes fixed on a spot beyond his window.

“So, how’s a thunderstorm from up there?”

He says: “From heaven?”

“Yeah, no, from the sky? Never seen it, planes are not my thing, you know,” he says, shifting to settle on the side.

“It’s pretty,” he says after a long moment. His keeps his voice low and adds, “but here is better.”

Dean scoffs.

“I mean it. From here you can smell the wet grass, see the trees swinging, feel the raindrops hitting you,” his voice is deep and smooth and Dean’s traitorous eyelids flutter shut. “The view from the outside may be splendid” Castiel continues, “but here things happen to you, touch you, shape you. You are the view.”

Dean mumbles what he means to be a sound of agreement but it’s basically a long exhale.

He is drowsy. He is trying to tell himself that he cannot fall asleep but it’s becoming a little difficult as they lose track of the time.

Castiel turns to look at him.

“Dean?”

“Hm?”

“You can sleep if you want.”

“Nah, I’m fine. Tell me more.”

“About what?”

“Anything. Just, no more gross facts about animals. I’ve had enough of those.”

  Phone battery: 60%

Dean jerks awake. Castiel is touching his shoulder. “Sam called,” he says.

Dean blinks a few times while the past hours come back to him. A thunder booming over his head reminds him pretty quickly. So he did fall asleep in the end. And it wasn’t at all a good idea, judging by his stiff neck and his dry mouth and the fact that he has nothing to drink.

“What did he say?”

“He is going to the family. Apparently the road is clear from where he is so it seems like we are in some kind of pocket dimension.”

Dean suppresses a swear and pushes himself up on one elbow. It’s too dark to see anything beyond the windows but for a moment the wind is so strong that the car starts shaking, then the sky flashes white and booms and the sound is ear-splitting.

“It’s getting worse,” he rubs his eyes and cheeks and finds a dry spot of drool on the corner of his mouth. “You think Sam is gonna be fine?”

“I’m sure.” Castiel says. “They thought it was just the two of us, so they won’t see him coming.”

“How long was I out?”

“An hour at most.”

“You watched me all the time like a creep, didn’t you?”

“No,” says Castiel way too quickly to be entirely innocent. He also shoots him an irritated look that Dean suspects is more related to having been called creep that for the accusation itself. “I rearranged your tape collection.”

Now Dean gasps, aghast. “Oh, no. Again? Don’t tell me. Please don’t tell me it’s by year again.”

Castiel just nods and Dean becomes the image of desperation. “How could y- Really, Cas? Come on!”

Dean catches a glint of Castiel’s teeth in the dark as he smiles. “No.” he says sounding all proud “I was joking.”

Dean falls backwards on the seat with a groan. “Unfortunately, you will kill me with your terrible sense of humour.”

“Too late. We’ve already established that I won that game.”

“You know right, that if we are here for a very long time I will eventually have to eat you?”

Castiel just rolls his eyes.

  Phone battery 47%

Dean is still laying down, staring at the roof. Castiel has cracked his window open, just enough to let a breath of cool air in. It chases away the condensation on the windshield and brings in the smell of wet leaves and wet asphalt.

Dean is hit with the realization that they don’t get many moments like these. For one, none of them is covered in blood, and they are not fighting or running for their life. There is no anger or regret or guilt in the air. He can’t exactly complain.

Dean fixes his gaze on what he can see of his profile when is illuminated by the lightings: his dark hair, his high left cheekbone, his faint stubble, the tip of his nose. It’s even rarer to get to watch him unobserved. He feels a smile creeping on his lips.

For his part, it looks like it’s Castiel is starting to run out of patience. Dean can hear the rustling of his trench coat from where he is probably tormenting his hands in his lap. Knowing him, he can picture his mind is working tirelessly trying to find a way to be useful. Castiel loud sigh pierce the silence in the car.

“You told me to be patient earlier and now you’re bored of me already.” Dean teases.

Castiel turns towards him and then back ahead but there is no lightning that allows Dean to see his expression.

“I was just thinking. I thought you fell asleep again.“ There is a pause then he asks: “Are you? Bored of me?”

Dean sighs and feels protected by the dark and numbed by the sound of the rain and still a little groggy from his nap so he says. “Even when I see you all the time I feel like I barely see you.”

“I can’t tell if that’s good or not.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

  Phone battery: 32%

The screen lights up and it’s Sam, finally calling with news.

Dean puts him speakers.

“Sam?”

“Dean, they put something in your car,” he sounds out of breath.

“Hey, hey, how are you? What’s happening?”

“I’m fine, I can’t talk right now. They were both guilty. The mother was an accident; the spell was meant for someone else. Actually the mother was on it too. Apparently the whole family is into magic. I gotta -” a loud thunder covers his words.

“Sam? We didn’t get that.”

“They said it’s in the car. Look for hex bags, amulets, something you can destroy. I gotta go.”

“Alright. Just let us - ” but he’s already hung up.

So they get moving. They look into every corner, feel blindly in the dark, under the seats, inside the dashboard, as far as they can go behind the cushions.

Fifteen minutes later they’ve covered every surface and found nothing.

“Shit. What if it’s under the car? How are we gonna get that?”

Castiel looks at him and his expression tells Dean that nothing good is coming. In fact he says: “It can only be in the trunk.”

Dean blinks: “You are not going anywhere.”

“Dean.”

“No. No way.”

“Dean, it’s our only chance” he says it as if Dean is being unreasonable.

“No, Cas, let’s talk about it first.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m stronger than you. I’m the one who has to go.”

Castiel has made up his mind. He moves and Dean uselessly reaches out to grab him, but he can’t get a good grip as he is blocked by the front seat and Castiel slips away and pushes his door open.

The rain seems to get ten times worse as soon as he does that and the whole sky lights up threatening above their head. Castiel pushes through the wind to get a foot out.

“Cas! Jesus, close the goddamn door. This isn’t gonna work and you’re getting my seats all wet!” shouts Dean but Castiel doesn’t seem to hear him. Another loud thunder has Dean crouching down, and when he looks up again, Castiel is standing outside. He looks towards Dean and then shuts the door. Dean sees him struggling to get his feet one after the other, like an invisible force is keeping him from moving. His face scrunches up as he pushes himself forward with a hand on the car. He takes a step. He slips back a few feet.

Dean heart stops. “Cas! Fucking hell! Get back here!” he shouts, uselessly banging his hands against the seats. He tries to open his own door and remembers that he’s got no shoes on. He hurries to climb over on the front seat.

When he looks back again, Castiel has almost made it to the rear of the car. The sky rumbles angrily, it lights up violently. In frantic movements Dean slips his boots on and pushes himself to the right to open the passenger seat door.

He could lose him. Right there, right now, he could fucking lose him.

The rain and the wind hit him full force all at once. It’s like he’s stepped under a waterfall, he is cold and wet and struggles to breath. He battles against the wind trying to keep the car door open enough to allow him to get out and prevent it being ripped off from the car. He can barely feel his face and hands.

Towards the back of the car Castiel has reached the trunk. Dean can make out his silhouette wiping his eyes with a hand and with the other fumbling with the handle.

At last the trunk opens and covers him from Dean’s view. As he tries to move, his hair stand up all over his body and then there’s an explosion of sound so loud that he needs to cover his ears. It’s quick and violent and it takes him a few moments to realize that a lightning bolt has just hit a few yard from them. His legs start shaking.

“Cas! Come on!” he shouts terrified, knowing that’s useless, that he won’t be able to hear him above the thunders booming over their heads.

Through the rain that whips fiercely his face and blinds him, Dean watches as Castiel closes the truck and traces his steps back to the door that he holds open for him. As soon as he is within reach Dean grabs a fistful of his clothes and hauls him inside.

  Phone battery 22%

Dean is yelling. He is still gripping a handful of Castiel’s clothes and he yanks and yanks at it and yells in his face. And Castiel is panting, he is soaking wet, his hair is dripping and plastered on his forehead and his eyelashes are stuck together and he lets himself being yanked and yelled at and he’s got fear in his eyes but also relief.

“I can’t believe you did that! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

Dean is angry cause his voice is not louder than the rain and it’s not louder than the thunder but he wants it to be to be able to convey just how angry he is right now.

Castiel just blinks and breathes. At last, he brings up a hand to rest on Dean’s.

“Dean,” he says trying to calm him down. I’m okay. I’m here. It’s over.

Dean feels the relief wash over his body but then it pools behind his eyes and he feels like crying.

“You fucking asshole.”

The corner of Castiel’s lips turns slightly upward.

Dean yanks once again at his clothes and he means to pull him into a hug but somehow he finds his lips pressed against Castiel’s. They are both so shocked that they freeze and quickly pull back.

For a second they breath the same air. Dean swallows and blinks and tries to regain control of himself. Castiel doesn’t look scared, he only tilts his head slightly like he does so Dean covers the distance between them once again. Castiel’s lips are full and wet and as Dean kisses them, for a second he forgets all about near death, rain, witches and curses.

Then a thunder erupts above them and they jerk apart once again. Dean lets go of Castiel and wipes a hand over his wet face. “We should –” it’s all he manages.

Castiel doesn’t know what to say either. He just nods and quickly bends down to retrieve the hex bag that he’s dropped when Dean kissed him.

  Phone battery: 15%

It’s made of green silk and there’s a round symbol and a semicircle drawn on it. Castiel says they represent Hecate’s wheel and the Egyptian hieroglyphic for rain.

They don’t look at each other as they try to burn it. It takes more than one attempt as their fingers are wet and slippery and there’s nothing they can use to dry themselves with as everything else they have is also wet.

When it finally lights up it burns green. Dean winces as he sees it writhing on the floor mats of his car. “Oh Baby, I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” He says, and this is even before he realizes that they are both still dripping water all over the seats.

It’s almost instantaneous and slightly anticlimactic. The bag becomes dust and the clouds above them break, letting the sun shine through. Dean squints at the sudden change of light and when he opens his eyes again, everything is back to normal. The car is still covered in raindrops but the birds outside are chirping, there’s no tree half burned across the street and a car passes them by as if it’s just another day. Dean sighs and lets his head thump against the window while Castiel rolls down his.

They enjoy a moments of quietness, pierced only by Castiel saying “I’m sorry for scaring you”. He says it in his normal tone but it sounds loud to Dean’s ears, newly clear of rain and thunders.

He closes his eyes. “I just wish you’d stop jumping in on any occasion to get yourself killed.”

“I had to do it.”

Dean opens his eyes and shoots him a withering look. “But you almost died. Cas,” he takes a deep breath “don’t you get it? I’d rather be stuck under the downpour for the rest of my life than watch you die again.” He feels the rage take control of himself again and shake his voice and he lets it cause it’s better to ride it and let out what he wants to say than to hide in embarrassment.

He even holds his gaze.

“I can understand the sentiment.” Castiel says at last.

“Just – no more suicidal missions. If you don’t wanna do it for yourself, do it for me.”

Castiel presses his lips together and nods and Dean feels suddenly exhausted.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

“Okay.” Castiel agrees. “Should we talk about - ”

“Uh, what?” 

“Dean.”

“Cas,” he says, mimicking his tone.

Castiel holds his gaze for a long time. Dean says softly: “I mean, you know - right?”

“I do.” Castiel smiles. “Do you?”

“Yeah.” Dean swallows. He takes a deep breath and waits for a wave of dread to hit him but it never comes. He just feels like himself with a warm pleasant feeling in his lower belly. That’ll be time later to process it, he thinks, now they have stuff to do, places to go. 

  Phone battery: 5%

They are on the road again. It’s safe and quiet and sunny.

“Was it really necessary?” grumbles Castiel.

“Again, yes” Dean won’t hear no arguing. “I don’t even want to think about the damage we’ve already done.”

Sam’s phone rings once again before he picks up.

“Guys?”

“Sam? Dean is driving. Are you okay?”

“Oh, hey Cas. Yes, they went down pretty easily. Didn’t see me coming. Did you guys find the thing?”

“Yes, it was a hex bag. Everything is fine, we are almost in town.”

“Great. Should we agree on a spot so you can come pick me up?”

“Uh. We need to go back to the motel first. We are not wearing any clothes apart from our underwear.”

“You wh - ? Wait, what?”

“They were wet. Dean insisted. For the car.” Castiel says, trying to speak over Dean’s voice in the background that yells ‘Why did you tell him?’

Sam burst into laughing. “Oh my god.”

“So we will see you back at the motel?”

“Yeah, definitely, I will be there with my camera ready.”

There’s rustling and then Dean’s voice close to the microphone shouts: “Sam, I swear to God, I’ll run you ove-”

 Phone battery: 0%

I am participating in the spnstayathomechallenge by @bend-me-shape-me @pray4jensen @helianthus21

#spnstayathome #monday 7: thunderstorm #deancas #destiel #deancas fanfic #4.5k #should be tagged genre? what genre? #dean says fuck in this one idk why #also can somebody just pick sam up #i need to stick to shorter stuff btw i spend so much time editing it becomes something im not even able to tell if its good or not #thank you for your lovely comments to my previous posts !! im lucky and underserving #deancas ficlet #deancas ficlets #my writing

[wendibird]

SPN 15X14 Observations

So, for whatever dumbass reason, when trying to use my actual television, the cable refuses to work properly 8 times out of 10. BUT I was able to stream tonight’s episode on my computer with my cable network’s app. So, there’s that. Because of that, and since it’s easier for me to type on my keyboard than on my phone, I actually took quick notes and observations during commercial breaks. Here are those, then some more of my thoughts following. (And I’m sorry if any of these seem a bit incoherent. They were more my observations to myself. *LOL*  

(everything else under the keep reading line since I got a bit rambly, and just in case anyone wants to avoid spoilers)

- Brothers being written a bit like characters of themselves rather than just themselves. (trying too hard?)

- Love Mrs. Butters. Actress really good. And the minor ret-con works with what we've seen.

- Sam more concerned about Jack. I think he understands him better, even though he hasn't seen much of him.

- "Ignoring your trauma doesn't make you healthy." (or something like that.) Good quote!

- Waiting for the catch.

- "Enjoy the world you're fighting for." (compare with Kevin's similar line: "I can't enjoy a world I need to save.")

- Mrs. Butters knows Jack isn't human.

- BOY did the shoe drop! But it was Sinclaire involved. Not surprised he took advantage of her natural protective nature.

- Wanted more plot for WHY exactly they still have Thor's Hammer. Have they had it this whole time? Last we saw Sam dropped it in 8X2. Or did Mrs. Butters conjure it up because they might need it? Was cool though that Sam was using it. Because we already know he can.

- Jack figured out on his own how to use the projector. (love that boy!)

- liked hearing him talk about what happened with Mary and how he feels.

- Mrs. Butters knows from experience about needing "second chances" I think.

- Why were they ALWAYS wearing the same clothes during the "We got one!" montages? Assuming it was supposed to have taken place over several days at least if not longer. (I highly doubt they went out on THAT many hunts in one day.)

- Yeeeah... So I get she's protective, but JACK IS BABY! She can clearly see his power levels but she has to have seen how he he actually IS? But she gave him the smoothies from the start, so she's been planning it from almost the start. Hrm.

- idk what anyone else says, I'm thrilled that Sam and Eileen had a date. Also, THIS is where that sweater-vest comes from. Bet we'll see him going for his gun too. (That clip was hotly debated in one of the discord servers I’m on)

- Dean is obviously still having some issues with Jack, but he also seems to know that they're his personal issues and he knows that Jack is good. (Expanding on this thought post episode, I was seeing this as Dean recognizing the difference between what he knows and what he’s feeling. So, yey! Personal growth!)

- DEAN JACK IS NOT A BATTERING RAM!!!

- Dean sees Jack as a weapon. He used him as a battering ram. He'll use him as a grenade to throw at Chuck. (More on this after the notes.)

- Sam sees him as a person. His argument was that Jack was someone he cared about. That killing him would HURT him.

- Also, did they HAVE to go for the fingernails again?!

- Poor Sam, getting tortured. And being the "favorite" of something bad.

- Also, SAM WAS RIGHT! To be cautious of her at first. Too many times he's had things/people seem good and turn out opposite.

- And because Dean had decided it was all okay, they both stopped looking up on her.

- Maybe Sam will realize that he doesn't always have to follow Dean's lead. He can pursue his own paths. (Not talking about them separating. Just, if he wants to look into something, he should do it. If he wants to follow a different lead, he should check it out.)

- I know he lost a lot of confidence last season but I hope he realizes that he doesn't by default make bad decisions.

- Okay, that was a good resolution. I'm glad she's going back to her people.

- Interdimensional geoscope: Dean saw nothing. Because ALL the other universes are gone. *sad-face*

- Love Sam and Jack. Wish we got a bit more. But it was something.

- Also love that Dean tried. That felt real to me. (the birthday cake)

More thoughts! 

So. Overall I liked this episode. It was lighthearted mostly, but touched on some serious topics and wasn’t completely disconnected with what is going on with everyone, despite the random holiday montage. *LOL* (Yes, I know she wasn’t bending time or anything, she was just choosing to celebrate some holidays with her boys regardless of when this is all taking place exactly.) It did feel a bit to me, at the start anyway, like the writing at least was trying too hard to “Sound like Sam and Dean” instead of just them being them. I mentioned that at the start but what I mean is, in this season especially (but not exclusively) I’ve noticed a lot of times where it feels to me like the writing/directing/whatever leads to the sum total of what we see is trying too hard to present this idea of who the characters are, like caricatures of them. The things associated with them get emphasized, sometimes out of proportion. Though in this episode, it only felt like that during the opening scene and maybe a few places elsewhere. Overall I thought the writing and especially the acting on the parts of the main 3 guys and the guest actor were well done and had a lot of nuance when needed. Like, as an example, when Sam and Dean sussed out that this being that they didn’t even know was a bit behind the times, they were actually pretty gentle with bringing her up to speed. And her reaction to realizing that everyone she knew before was dead felt very real. 

I liked what we saw of where each of the characters were emotionally this episode. It was the first one after Jack has been re-souled and it had definitely been weighing on my mind how everyone was doing. (Though I REALLY wish we could have actually seen Sam and Dean’s reactions to Jack tearfully begging their forgiveness last episode. But lacking any other input, I’m headcannoning that Sam gave him a very long, warm hug.)  

I also agree with Sam, I think there’s something more that Jack hasn’t told them yet, probably some details about Billy’s plan that he or her are sure the brothers won’t like. (Now, what exactly that could be is very much up in the air. I can think of quite a few options, but the details aren’t really important to me just now. Just the fact that something about it is weighing on Jack. More than just Mary’s death and the prospect of having to kill God. Which, in and of themselves would be more than enough.) 

Speaking of Sam, I liked that we saw all those little nods to how he feels about Jack, how he’s still worried about him, and seems to understand him. 

I also get where Dean’s coming from. And I thought it was well-portrayed. And let me just say, I am GLAD that he just outright told Jack where he was at. He didn’t sugarcoat it, but he also didn’t blow up at him, or reply with sarcasm or bring up other, unrelated stuff. Dean knows that Jack is trying, but he himself has some emotional stuff he needs to deal with. That he is dealing with. And it’s going to take him some time. 

I do however stand by my observation made during the episode that at least at that point in it, Dean considered Jack a weapon. An asset. He literally used him as a battering ram, and in a more meta way, he’s planning on using him as a grenade to throw at God. Even when arguing with Mrs. B about it, his response was in reference to Jack’s usefulness. Whereas Sam was arguing that Jack meant something to him, that he cared about him, and hurting Jack would hurt him. Now, I do think that Dean’s POV had shifted a bit by the very end. Dean’s love language has almost always been shown by doing things for people, and taking care of them. So him making that birthday cake for Jack really felt to me like him trying to tell him that he does actually care about him. And I think Jack got it. And true, the cake might not have been as neat and pretty as Mrs. B would have made it, but I thought it was beautiful because of all the thought that went into it. (Dean’s more of a cook than a baker too.) 

As a side note, something I thought about after the episode: when Mrs. B stepped in, she kind of took over that care-taker role. AND the research role. She made them lunches, cooked them dinners, decorated for holidays, and overall made them feel comfortable and safe. And she also pin-pointed where monsters were and made sure they were all stocked-up and ready to go. All they had to do was show up and get it done. And yeah, it must have been a nice break from the norm. But I also think about how much Dean finds his identity beyond hunting in taking care of people. And how much Sam finds his identity in researching and figuring things out. And with her doing that, they both took it easy on those ends. Dean didn’t have to make burgers for everyone since Mrs. B made a roast. Sam didn’t have to research since she could tell them where the monsters were and what kind. I almost wonder if both of them were starting to feel like those parts of themselves were all of a sudden unnecessary. (Which makes me a little sad, because it reminds me a bit of the “two cakes” concept in fandom. Who cares if someone else can “do it better”? If you do it, then there’ll be even more of the good thing!)  And as I observed above, Sam also stopped looking into HER. I mean, he didn’t even know what would kill a wood nymph. And I do think part of that also goes back to him having recently fallen back on letting Dean make the big decisions. Because last season so many of his blew up in his face. (Though I don’t think most of that was his fault. But Sam tends to blame himself for a lot.) And I do hope that maybe he’ll remember that he does have good instincts when he listens to them. And he can keep looking into something even if Dean thinks it’s fine. It’s not a betrayal to be prepared. 

ALSO! Being the absolute Saileen hoe that I am, even though we didn’t Eileen in this episode, I was thrilled that Sam went out on a date with her because she was in town! And true, we don’t know what all went down, but regardless, I see it as good that they’re at the very least still friends, and that hopefully Eileen is sorting out her own feelings vs whatever she might think could be Chuck’s manipulations. Even if Saileen isn’t Engame (and honestly, as much as I love it, I don’t think it will be) I would still like for them to be on good terms with each other. (And for her to NOT get fridged again!) 

Another thing I was pondering afterwards and a bit during: I wasn’t surprised that Sam held up to the torture fairly well. I mean, it still obviously hurt! (And again, WHY with the fingernails again?! As someone in one of my discord servers mentioned, we didn’t need THAT particular call-back to the Christmas Episode of Season 3!) But he was listening to what she was saying. And he understood the implications that she had been tortured into acting how they wanted her to act. And Sam understands torture, and how it can mess someone up. And despite what she had done to him, and was trying to still do, he validated what she had been through. He empathized with her. And that.... it’s just SO Sam! 

I will say that the resolution felt a little... abrupt. Like, her expression had changed a little during the fight/argument. Then back from the commercial break and she’s all packed-up and ready to leave and they’re all saying goodbye and wishing her well. I feel like there might have been some more scenes or parts of scenes that were originally there connecting things up more, but were cut for time.

I wouldn’t say this was a groundbreaking episode, but it WAS fun, and it did have some seriousness at it’s core, and I think it did what it needed to do. 

(And I apologize if this is just a big rambling mess. I’m not used to doing structured episode reviews. *LOL* Feedback and opinions are welcome though!) 

#spn 15x14 spoilers #spn season 15 spoilers #episode review #my thoughts #ignoring your trauma doesn't make you healthy #sam winchester #dean winchester #jack kline #mrs butters #i still need more sam and jack

[suncityblues]

Little Miracles//  2k words destiel, mentions of saileen 

AO3 link 

In the morning Castiel likes to turn his bedside radio on and listen to the news. He’s especially fond of the science segments. Listening to people try and understand the little mysteries of their world in real time makes Cas feel grounded, and less like he’s making a mess of being human, since it seems like no one really knows what’s going on anyway.

But they’re trying, and he likes that they’re trying because he’s trying too.

Sometimes Dean sticks around, because he drank too much the night before or just fell asleep without remembering to go back to his own room, and he’ll grumble something along the lines of: “How can you listen to these nerds talk out of their asses? You know all this stuff better than they ever could.”

Castiel just shrugs and ignores him, preferring to concentrate on how these people think fractals work, or black holes, or the glands on a dog’s nose. Sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re wrong. Dean’s always cranky in the morning so Cas knows it’s best not to take him seriously. And besides, Dean always stays for the whole segment, sometimes asking Castiel to elaborate on the topic and sometimes just dozing off until the end before getting up to feed the dog, so he can’t hate it that much.

These are Cas’ favorite kind of mornings, and they’ve been happening more and more since he got back but he doesn’t know exactly what to make of it. He does not allow himself the luxury of optimism.

Things feel strange and different now that the world isn’t ending. Too real maybe. For angels everything always had a purpose, a plan, and all things fell into place accordingly. But now, it’s like he’s writing a new story with no outline, one that can be kind of meandering and boring in places, but peaceful too. There’s a kind of power in winging it and just hoping for the best. Maybe life is like poetry or jazz now, though admittedly Cas doesn’t have much experience with either of those things to really know.

He’ll have time to find out though. A whole hopefully long lifetime to read or listen to anything he pleases. Jack brought him back as a human at his request, with the understanding that he could return to angel-hood anytime, with just a little prayer. Cas doesn’t think he’ll take Jack up on it but he’s aware of how lucky he is, and how loved. He can still do miracles, but only small ones. Making flowers bloom. Healing paper cuts. Boiling water. Cas is grateful for it, like a taste of home without all the family drama.

Jack had popped him back into existence at a pie festival Sam and Dean stopped at on their way to a hunt. Dean had kissed him in public for the first time that day, after years and years of motel bathrooms and dark corners. It seems significant to Castiel, but Dean’s cultural hang ups always felt dumb to him in the first place so he chooses not to read into it too much. When Dean pulls back he says, “I, uh… I…” but doesn’t manage to finish the thought because Cas is pressing kisses to Dean’s cheeks, the sides of his mouth, his forehead. Dean gets pie on Cas’ nose, but Cas didn’t mind. After that, Sam pulls him into a bear hug. He whispers, “I��m happy for you, man” and Cas doesn’t know if he should to reply to that or not.

They get so distracted by his reappearance that they lose the trail of the vampires they were looking for. When Cas mentions it to Jack the next time they talk, he replies that it was all for the best. Cas gets the message and doesn’t need to ask for any more details.

++

The adjustment is hard on Sam and Dean, he can tell. It’s like suddenly their lives are starting in the middle, and it’s not fair they had to wait until their knees were shot and half their friends were dead to have a chance at a real life.

Sam, at least, still has Eileen. She doesn’t stay with them full time but she swings by the bunker often. Privately one night Sam had asked Cas if he thought Dean would be okay if he joined Eileen on a hunt. Just the two of them. Cas hardly thinks he’s an expert on Dean Winchester’s psyche, but recognizes that Sam is talking to him rhetorically, looking for reassurance. So Castiel tilts his head. “I think Dean will be happy as long as you’re happy, Sam,” he replies cautiously and hopes this is the answer Sam is looking for. It’s not a lie by any stretch but not the whole truth, either. Castiel thinks Dean will worry himself sick, and obsessively check in on his brother, and repress his anxiety so deeply that no one will be able to talk to him about it for days without it turning into a fight about something completely unrelated. Then Sam will come home and Dean will pretend nothing was bothering him in the first place. But he’ll get used to it, eventually. Dean is nothing if not resilient.

Sam runs his hands through his hair, a little exasperated. “Yeah,” he says, “You’ll be here so… he’ll be okay. I think this is good. Right? A good change? You guys are, ah, good? Together?”

Truth be told, Cas has no idea what Sam’s getting at or why he’s suddenly so nervous and uncomfortable but he just says, “Of course, Sam.” And Sam looks relieved, so Cas knows he said the right thing.

“Dean can be… well anyway. I’m glad he has you,” Sam continues. Then, with the look on his face Castiel recognizes as the one he wears when he teases his older brother, “But he really doesn’t deserve you.”

That makes Castiel smile, though he knows they do, in fact, deserve each other.

++

His days start to form a kind of unintentional pattern. He wakes up, listens to the radio, showers, and gets coffee from the kitchen. If Sam isn’t off on a hunt with Eileen that day there’s usually a pot of coffee already brewed, and if he is Castiel makes it himself. He takes his coffee with a bit of almond milk and some cinnamon. Sometimes when he knows Dean’s particularly hungover he’ll make a cup for him too, whole milk, one sugar, and leave it on Dean’s bedside table, careful not to wake him or the dog up. He uses one of his small miracles to keep it warm.

Then he goes on a walk in the woods. Sometimes he talks to Jack, sometimes he just listens to the trees shift in the wind. By the time he gets home Dean’s usually made breakfast or lunch, depending on what time he rolls out of bed. They eat together, sometimes with Sam and Eileen, or other hunters who roll through town, but usually just the two of them. They talk about movies, or possible new hunts, or Dean’s job search.

After a while Dean will leave to do his own thing, and Cas will read or watch TV, and then they’ll have dinner. After that maybe a movie or a game of cards, always accompanied by a few beers. They wait until Sam and Eileen go to bed if they’re home and then Dean will put a hand on his knee or his hip or his back and lean in close until they’re kissing. Cas always lets Dean make the first move, he doesn’t want to seem needy, or like he’s asking too much, he’s been human before but all the functions that come along with it still take some time to get used to, and there are boundaries, and so many other complex things to navigate. At some point Cas will pull Dean into his room. They have sex and Cas will fall asleep, and Dean will get up and go back to his room, or he’ll stay and they get up together and listen to the radio and start all over.

They’ve been having sex on and off for years but it’s been different since the empty took him and Jack returned him. It’s not some kind of desperate end of the world adrenaline thing anymore, or an open secret that everyone dances around, it’s deliberate now, and sometimes gentle. They get to take their time, if they want to. And it’s not like Dean doesn’t know how Castiel feels. But they don’t talk about it, Dean hasn’t said it back, and Cas doesn’t want him to if he doesn’t mean it. It makes him a little, something, though. Something between being irritated and sad, he’s not sure exactly what.

Castiel thinks that, maybe, for the first time in his long, long life he’s bored with what he has, and he wants more.

++

So, he decides to get a job as a distraction, and because that’s what people do. He works from home as a research assistant with a carefully crafted and entirely fake resume Sam helped him come up with. It’s easy work for someone like Cas, but it passes the time and gives him new things to think about, and new people to talk to. He has work friends, and he likes them. Sometimes they see Dean walking around behind Cas when he’s in a meeting and they ask him if that’s his partner. Cas decides to reply with “yes” because it’s easier and more work appropriate than explaining it in full. Besides, mostly they just want to see the dog.

Still, the word feels nice to say, like a relief. He mentions it to Dean offhandedly, and Dean just shrugs nonchalantly, but gets red at the ears and gently tugs Cas into his room for a nooner.

Dean hasn’t had any luck with his job search and Castiel pretends not to know that it’s because Dean is stalling for time, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and not really applying to anything with any follow through. Sam’s noticed it too, but doesn’t push the subject, though sometimes he’ll suggest a hunt if Dean’s looking particularly cagey. All three of them are aware that Dean doesn’t have much first hand experience with peace, and the one time Cas tries to help by showing him a construction supervisor ad on his phone, it results in a two day long fight. In the end Dean apologizes and buys Cas a lumpy cactus with a little white flower on it. Cas names it Earl and Dean applies for the job. He gets it.

Sam spends more and more time away from the bunker with Eileen, and then one day announces that he’s moving in with her. Not far from them, just a few miles into town because Sam misses having a window in his bedroom, and waking up to the sun on his face. Wants to have a bathroom he doesn’t have to share. Wants to buy crappy Ikea furniture he gets to pick out himself. Castiel understands. He wants a window too, because he wants plants in his room, but doesn’t know how to ask Dean about it. He’s afraid Dean will take it the wrong way, and think Castiel wants to leave again.

Sam gives them each a key to his new apartment, and tells them to come over any time they like. He gets drunk alone with Dean the night before he moves out and long after Cas has gone to bed Dean comes into his room stinking of whiskey and sweat and tears. He lays down next to Cas in bed, puts his arm over him and leans heavily into the crook of Cas’ neck.

“You’re my best friend,” Dean mumbles, “You’re my best friend and I…” Cas cuts him off with a tame kiss on the forehead, and the miracle sends Dean into a deep dreamless sleep. For whatever reason, now didn’t seem like the right time. His heart is beating so hard he can feel it in his chest and wonders if this is normal or if he’s dying. He ends up staring at the ceiling until his alarm goes off. Then, he turns the news on.

Dean is miserable for an entire week without Sam but brushes it off with a joke whenever Cas asks him how he’s doing, or Sam calls to check in. He starts sleeping through the night in Cas’ bed so often the dog comes too, and then shortly after Dean’s clothes get mixed in with Cas’. Then comes Dean’s shoes, the dog food bowls, and Earl, with a grow light.

Cas decides to buy a bigger bed because two adult men and a fifty pound dog in a full sized bed is a lot. Besides, he has money now after all, he has a job.

++

Then, one morning they’re laying together listening to the woman on the radio talk about DNA and Dean leans over and places a gentle kiss on Cas’ shoulder. He doesn’t have to say it out loud because by now Cas knows it clear as day, but Dean chooses to say “I love you,” anyway.

#destiel #Fic #my Fic #Spn #supernatural #supernatural fic #deancas

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

The Family Business | Adam Milligan x Reader (Oneshot)

Trope Prompt: First Time

Words: 1856

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Continuation of On the Road. Before you could look further into the disappearance of Sam and Dean and the reappearance of Adam, a nearby town had been attacked by a mysterious animal. Meanwhile, you and Jack start to teach Adam the basics.

-

You and Jack curiously watched as Adam wolfed down two burgers while washing it down with beer. If he was really a Winchester, then it would explain the similar behavior he had with Dean. He paused mid-bite, his cheeks full like a chipmunk, as he looked up and saw the two of you staring. He grunted a question, to which you and Jack exchanged a look and waved it off.

The three of you were in a motel room at a town near where the road spat out Adam. There was some suspicious activities in the area, but it could most likely be unrelated. Jack was conflicted, deciding whether you should at least check it out or call in another hunter to deal with it.

Adam was given a much needed shower while you used the motel’s laundry mat to clean his clothes. At first he was wary of the two of you just as you were wary of him. Given his experience with angels, he couldn’t readily believe that anyone was a good or bad guy anymore. To build trust, you exchanged stories about Sam and Dean. He didn’t have much time to get to know them, what with the whole impending apocalypse and cage opening thing happening.

You told him how Sam and Dean found you after your town was attacked by a vengeful spirit. You had been working towards getting your own vet clinic after getting your DVM and working under a senior veterinarian.

Your friend had fallen victim to the spirit, leading you to go and investigate it yourself. You ran into the brothers and stubbornly tagged along. After the three of you solved the case, you realized that there wasn’t anything tying you to the town and you no longer wanted to continue on your current career path. They told you you were always welcome with them, and you’ve been a part of their little found family ever since.

Adam took a while to wrap his head around the fact that Jack was the antichrist. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting besides the Omen movies. You assured him that Jack was safe and that he was nothing like his real father. It was still awkward between the three of you, so you hoped that the new case could help with that.

-

The kidnappings, drained bodies, and break-ins to the local blood bank all point to vampires, a monster you had yet to encounter, though Jack had. They could easily be dealt with. So, the two of you checked with the coroners and confirmed the bite marks while getting more information from the local police station. You had Adam stay behind in the car, as he didn’t want to be left in the motel, having him do research and reading through John’s journal to keep him busy.

After a few days of investigation, you and Jack had found the nest and were getting ready to deal with them. Adam was getting restless and wanted in on the action. You drove out towards the edge of town by the woods and led Adam to a clearing that you’ve found earlier.

“So,” you began, holding a shotgun, “I assume you’ve done your homework.”

“Yeah, beheading is pretty effective, sunlight makes them weak, and dead man’s blood helps incapacitate them,” Adam listed off.

“Know how to use a shotgun?” You handed to gun over to him.

Adam shrugged. “How hard can it be?” He took the gun from you and aimed at the makeshift targets Jack had set up. “It’s mostly spray and pray, right?”

“True, but we don’t want you accidentally hitting us and if you’re going to be joining us in hunting, you’ll have to learn how to shoot, how to fight, assembling guns, making bullets… all that good stuff.”

“Fun.”

Adam tried the shotgun first, but the recoil caught him off guard. He then moved on to the handguns, which seemed more manageable, but his aim needed work. When he missed completely three times in a row, you had to step in.

“Okay, stop that,” you said, walking up behind him, “You need to stand like this and have your arms like this.” You steadied his arms and adjusted his hold on the gun.

“This is not how I imagine recreating that scene from Ghost would be like,” Adam joked, tilting his head until his face was inches away from you.

You went to give a sarcastic remark when your eyes met his, causing you to be thrown off from the task at hand. He leaned in closer and smirked at the lack of reply from you. You stepped away from him, your cheeks heated as you cleared your throat. 

Jack tested his fighting skills, that were more instinctive and less calculative. You figured that it would take longer for him to learn that.

When it was time to find the vampire nest, Adam insisted on going with you. The plan was to talk it out with the Alpha first and if all else fails, kill them. Jack went into the den first, followed by you and Adam.

The Alpha was roaming around the house, purposely delaying the meeting, while the other vampires gathered around the three of you. Jack held out a protective arm in front of you, glaring at them.

“I mean, this was obviously a trap,” Adam muttered.

“Shut it, Adam,” you said, spotting the Alpha approaching.

The small group of vampires parted to make way for their Alpha. He stood tall and thin, wearing a raggedy old shirt and sweatpants that dragged on the ground. He eyed the three of you and huffed, moving over to the nearest chair. Once he was seated, one of the younger vampires brought over a wine glass of blood.

The Alpha sighed into the glass and drank. “You must be here because of Wilson,” he said, motioning to the other chairs.

“We’ll stand for now, but thank you,” you said. He shrugged and carried on drinking.

“It’s sad what happened to the Winchesters,” he drawled. Jack stiffened, his angel blade readied in his hand. You squeezed his wrist, reminding him to hold back. “I know many of our kind hated their existence, but some of us learned to just keep our heads low and not draw attention. I’m curious of how good the three of you are.”

“How much do you know about it?” you asked.

“Enough. That might be a reason why there’s been a big spike of activities across the country. That’ll teach the other hunters not to slack off and rely on the Winchesters so much, right? The three of you look like babies compared to them. Especially… you.” He points at Adam. Your head snapped towards him, sending him a warning look not to provoke the Alpha.

“I guess you could call this ‘Baby’s First Vampire Hunt’,” Adam said sarcastically.

The Alpha let out a laugh, raising the glass to him. “It’s shocking how much like the Winchesters you are. You even… smell like them. Tell me, are you one?”

“Wilson is the youngest?” Jack interjected, changing the topic.

The Alpha turned his attention back to Jack and leaned forward. “He just got out of control. I’ve never dealt with a new vampire like him before. The new ones are usually dependent on their Alpha and obey them. He knew the rules of no killing or anything excessive that would draw attention to us. We don’t kill and we don’t kidnap. We simply use the blood bank to get by.”

“Then why didn’t you deal with him before it got too far?” you asked with narrowed eyes.

He sighed again. “I just need to talk to him,” he insisted, folding his hands in front of him. “Give me time.”

“How many people are going to die before that happens?”

He paused for a moment, contemplating your words. “He hadn’t been back to the den for a while, but I know where he is.”

He agreed to help you with Wilson, describing him and giving you his general location. In return for dealing with Wilson, he’ll relocate the nest and be more discreet.

“That’s a whole house of vampires. Why not kill them?” Adam asked back in the car.

“They’re just surviving like all of us. If it’s just one vampire acting up, doesn’t mean the whole nest is like that. We or any other hunter could always come back and kill them,” Jack said.

The nearby bar was Wilson’s usual hunting ground. The plan was to draw him out and get him someplace secluded before killing him. The three of you took your places, you sitting at the bar while Adam and Jack were by the billiards. You casually looked around, locking eyes with Jack. You nodded at him, then continued on the act.

“I don’t like this,” Adam muttered as he set up the table.

“I don’t like it either, but we’ll be there to back them up when they need it,” Jack said. His eyes narrowed when Adam kept glancing back at you every few seconds. “What are you doing?”

“It’s just… nothing,” Adam said, shaking his head. “You really okay with your partner being bait?”

Jack frowned. “(Y/n) is more than capable of handling themselves, Adam. I thought you would have known this by now.”

“Yeah, but, you know, another guy is going to be hitting on them. Doesn’t it bother you?”

“Of course it would bother me if someone were to harm my family. I don’t understand where you’re getting at.”

Adam wanted to correct him, but instead said, “So, wait, you guys aren’t dating?”

“No. We’re family. What gave you that idea?” Jack cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“Nothing. Never mind.”

They continued on playing until a man meeting Wilson’s description approached you. The man was invading your personal space, leering at you as you put on an act and laughed at his jokes. You put a hand on his leather covered arm and leaned in, suggesting to go somewhere private. It made Adam’s blood boil to see someone else looking at you and touching you inappropriately. Once look towards Jack and he knew that he was just as angry.

You and Wilson left the bar and headed outside, an extra sway to your step. You looked over your shoulder at Jack and Adam, then walked out the door. They started to move, weaving through the crowd as fast as they could.

Wilson led you behind the bar behind a nook that was out of sight of any passerbyers. He cornered you with a smirk, licking his lips until he opened his mouth wide to show rows of sharp pointed teeth retracting from his gums. He grabbed your wrist and pinned it against the wall, but you didn’t flinch.

Just in time, he was effortlessly yanked away by Jack while Adam brought the machete around and hacked his head off. Jack rushed over to you, making sure you were okay. When you assured that all was fine, you turned to Adam and smirked.

“Not bad for your first time.”

#writersmonth2019 #adam milligan x reader #adam milligan #supernatural #supernatural imagine #Jack Kline #oneshot #continuation #spn #team free will #sorry this one's late #I've been having writer's block #so i kind of rushed this one

[montyprescottjoy]

Blood Orange

Para: Blood Orange

Who: Monty Prescott & Vitya Cristo @vityacristo

When: June 13th, 2020

Where: Vitya’s apartment 

What: Vitya gets under Monty’s skin and forces him to talk about Schuyler, both boys experience unusual feelings.

Triggers: Suicide, Drug use, Abuse 

MONTY

Monty was fuming after the fight with Schuyler. The redhead had managed to press all his buttons and wound him up so tightly he'd exploded, in public, spilling his emotions where everyone could see. Nothing had been able to numb the fear and pain coursing through him. He'd smoked half a packet of cigarettes, a bottle of Jack, and three joints, and yet he was still feeling the pain but now with a sore head. He was already out of E from the fights with Nikko and he couldn't get hold of his usual supplier. Monty needed a distraction, he needed a good fuck. He also needed someone he could be honest with, or at least someone he could be around without having to go through the exhaustion of putting up his walls with. Nikko and Sam were still in Tn, Danny was in Colorado... that only left Vitya. The younger man had about as many issues as Monty himself and was in no place to judge, he was also a great lay. Monty picked up his phone with a tremor in his hand and hit call. "Yo, Vit, ya busy or got time for a fuck?" He tried to sound seductive but the emotion was heavy in his voice.

VITYA

Vitya had been home a day or two, enjoying his privacy and quiet. Most of his time was spent relaxing, catching up on easy chores, like laundry. He was not a domestic person, but also did not feel well enough to go to a bar or club. The hospital had drained him. Still, when his phone began to ring, and he saw who was calling, curiosity getting the better of him. He answered, and a smile cracked onto his face. "Careful, you come around any more often, I may just need to give you your own key," he joked, holding the phone to his ear by shoulder to fold a shirt in his hand. "So, what brings you my way this time around? You fucked me, like yesterday. A great home-warming present, by the way."

MONTY

Monty couldn't help the small grin that Vitya's sarcastic greeting put on his face. It was easy being around him, things weren't complicated or messy, they were just themselves and that idea alone had Monty relaxing a little. "Don't be makin' ya'self too available, ya poor ass is gonna be so sore ya wont be able ta sit for a week." He chuckled, grabbing his phone, wallet and keys. Vitya hadn't told him to fuck off, in fact it basically sounded like an invitation to him so Monty headed out in the direction of Vitya's place. "For an invalid ya took my dick like a champ, gotta see if it's a fluke or if all them needles they've been stickin' in ya really worked." Mont lied easily, covering up his own need and the small flicker of concern for his friend? fuck buddy? After finding out just how much time he'd spent in the hospital.

VITYA

"Isn't that the whole point?" Vitya said back, starting to move all the clothes to his bedroom. Vitya could hear something off in Monty's voice. Something visceral was there. The words were Monty's normal, sarcastic self, but the tone felt too open. "Practice makes perfect- Also being a pillow princess is, like, easy. And we have done it enough times, you know it ain't a fluke." Vitya sat on his bed, leaning back on his hand. "Oh, when you get here, keep your clothes on. I'll handle that," Vitya said in his low, wispy tone, hoping that would convince the man on the other side that Vitya couldn't hear his different tone.

MONTY

"Mm ya wanna feel it the next day, I got ya, figured ya might wanna go easy on ya crippled ass but fine we can go hard, I know exactly how ya like it." Monty didn't even try to keep his voice down as he walked across campus, all he concentrated on was keeping his tone even and teasing. "As much fun as I have poundin' ya ass we gotta get ya back ta full strength so ya can ride me hard." He taunted, more of his mind slipping from his pain and concentrating on what was in store for him as it seemed he had Vitya fooled that everything was normal. "Pillow princess puttin' in some work today, sounds good ta me, want that mouth." Monty groaned quietly as he reached the door to Vitya's apartment.

VITYA

Vitya could hear the desperation growing in Monty's voice over the phone. On one hand, it was such a turn-on. Vitya loved this, being able to wind someone up, have them wrapped around his finger. But between talking to Anthony, and his latest stint with death, whatever empathy that was still buried in him was rearing it's pretty little head. "What, and have you sit and wait like a good little boy? You're too impatient for that." he teased again, keeping the conversation going. He heard Monty from the other side of the door as well as through the phone, Vitya walking over, opening it, and tugging Monty inside by the shirt collar. With a bite of his lip, he tossed the phone to the side and shoved Monty onto the couch. He took his hair, yanked it back, and with a look of complete seriousness on his face, Vitya stared Monty dead in the eye. "What happened?"

MONTY

"Come on now, ya know I can still fuck ya hard even when ya ride me, I ain't waitin', an' I definitely ain't a good boy, ya know that ya filthy boy." Monty taunted, keeping focused on the conversation and begining to feel very hot and flustered, Vitya knew exactly how to get him going and his cock responded to the words quickly as blood began to rush to his groin. "Impatient hm?" Monty grinned at the surprising strength in the lanky young man as he was caught off guard before he even had a chance to knock. A pained groan escaped Monty's lips as he was manhandled. "What the fuck do ya mean what happened, I should be the one askin' you. What the fuck are ya doin'?" He seethed, brow furrowing in confusion and fists clenching ready to attack.

VITYA

"I mean, why are you calling me, on the edge of a meltdown?" Vitya said back, releasing Monty's hair and standing up straight, crossing his arms. "I am going to fuck you, you're here so it's happening, but you are going to tell me why I could hear you holding back baby-tears. Like it or not, Monty, you aren't getting this-" he said, motioning to his body. "Until you tell me what happened. It was the redhead, wasn't it?"

MONTY

"Fuck you, asshole." Monty yelled. He hated this, hated when people could see through his defences, hated showing any signs of vunerabilty, any clue that he was human and could be hurt. "What if I don't fucking want ya, huh, ever think of that?" He growled, standing up and begining to pace the room. He could leave, he could run back to his hiding place in his own room, Vitya wasn't stopping him, but some how he couldn't bring his feet to move more than a few steps in each direction. "It's always the fuckin' redhead." He ground out.

VITYA

Vitya laughed under his breath. "That's a damn lie, you're still tenting," Vitya said, clearly as a joke and not an actual dig at Monty. He left the man pace, seeing the seething anger. He wasn't leaving, proving Vitya's idea right; this was going to be an angry, vicious fuck. He was fine with that, normally, but he was not exactly normal enough to take that. That, and Monty was somehow becoming... significant to Vitya. He wasn't sure why, but it was something. "Mind telling me what the history is? All I ever see is you, being a dick to him, him telling you off, and then his ball and chain holding him back." Vitya paused, licking his lips. "Is he an ex? Do you even have exes?"

MONTY

Monty moved forward in a flash, grabbing Vitya by the hips, pressing the length of their bodies together, and capturing his soft lips in a hard kiss. It was rough and deep and unrelenting; the only way he could expel some of his feelings."Yeah well ya ass get's me all worked up." Mont tried to tease but it came out flat so instead of sounding sexual he just sounded tired. Monty rubbed a hand over his face, vision blurring when he pressed the heal of his hand to his eyes. He wanted to throw himself into Vitya's body and forget everything, take his pain out on the boy, but somehow he didn't have the strength, he craved human touch, the warmth of another body to take away his pain completely not just forget for a few moments the way Schuy had for a short time back when they had been together. It felt wrong to want that again after all he'd done to destroy what he and Schuy had tried to build. But Vitya was the same as Monty; he was broken too not some untouchable thing like Schuy; he was real. "Ex. Singular."

VITYA

Vitya didn't fight it when Monty got close and kissed him. In fact, he was too shocked to react. They had kissed before, usually mid-fuck, clearly just to enhance whatever they were doing at the time, but this... This was different. When they broke apart, and Monty rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand, Vitya took his hands off and put them at his sides. "You'll go blind doing that," he mumbled, fixing the mess he had made of Monty's hair earlier when he grabbed it. Vitya nodded, laughing low in his chest. "Guessed that much. I take it the two of you ended things poorly, and now you see how good you had it and want it back." Vitya took a few steps away, sitting himself down on the couch to give Monty room to pace, breathe, talk, whatever he needed. "Can't say I don't relate. Not a day goes by that I don't miss home. I take it he was yours?"

MONTY

The kiss had loosened some of the tension in Monty enough so that he didn't flinch away when Vitya touched his hands. Mont stretched his neck out, almost like a cat being petted, as Vitya played with his hair; it felt soothing in a way he wasn't used to, a way he hadn't felt since Schuyler. "Dunno how much of that fight ya saw but yah, fuckin' shit. Caught me cheatin', he beat the guy with a fuckin' camera then went to fuckin' Israel." Monty replied flatly, scanning the room for alcohol if only to keep his eyes from Vitya, not understanding how or why he was spilling information he never expected to share with anyone. "Dunno about home man, ain't never had one of 'em before. Ya miss the Bratva, huh?"

VITYA

Vitya could see it; the starvation of touch, the blatant want of affection without saying it. Humans were social creatures, and Monty was no different. Monty was being open, so open it nearly weirded Vitya out. But this wasn’t like Benji, spilling every little detail worth telling. Monty only said what he wanted, when he wanted. Vitya pulled his legs up and under him, patting the spot next to him on the couch. This wasn’t the first time that, as a prostitute, a client needed to vent to him. But this was the first time Vitya... cared? Payed attention? Who knows. “I saw enough.” Vitya was not surprised that Monty was a cheater. The fact he admitted it was new, a spark of humility showing in Monty’s words. Vitya smiled to himself, looking down at the hand he had resting on his thigh. “Perhaps I do. Or maybe I simply miss my ponytail.” He joked. “So, if you know he is taken, and has refused you several times, why do you keep going after him? What about him is special to you?”

MONTY

Monty bit is lip, looking between Vitya and the open spot on the couch, he stood still for a long moment in silence before breathing out heavily and sitting down beside the younger man. It was strange to have someone that wasn't Nikko asking and listening and allowing him to share at his own pace. Even wanting to share was so foreign. Somehow he felt it easy to share. It was still painful and confusing but he didn't feel judged or humiliated. “Miss that ponytail, fuckin' badass ponytail man." Monty chuckled. “Can't fuckin' tell ya why man, never felt shit for anyone but ma brother Nikk, scared the shit outta me, but without it I'm fuckin' terrified, dunno what I'll be without ever havin' that shit again, I don't wanna find out, I ain't a good guy, I don't wanna be ma Pops."

VITYA

Vitya let Monty sit and talk at his own pace. Unlike his clients, he didn’t touch him on his back for fake comfort. When the revelation about his father came out, all made sense. Monty was a gang kid, and his dad was no better. Vitya looked him up and down, biting his lip. Yeah, they had a lot in common. “...I get that. A lot more than you know.” Vitya ran his fingers in Monty’s hair again, same way as before. “If you are that fearful that you’ll end up like him, best to look at where you are. So, example; I left the country, cut my hair, have sex for a living, and am-“ Vitya chuckles sadly. “I’m basically just waiting to die instead of fighting it. All to tell my dad to fuck off. I know I’ll never be like him because nothing can drag me back there... What do you do? Ignore other people, ignore your brother a moment; what does Montgomery do to not be his father?”

MONTY

A shiver ran through Monty and a soft moan escaped his throat with his permission as Vitya ran his hands through his hair. It felt so fucking good. He felt so touch starved, not realizing it until this moment and he had to clench his fists to stop himself reaching out and grabbing onto Vitya. “Wait in’ ta die, what the fuck?” Montys eyebrows shot up in surprise and confusion, his own problems pushed to the back of his mind, refusing to concentrate on anything else, ignoring Vitya’s question.

VITYA

Vitya kept his touch going, gently coaxing Monty into a more relaxed sate. He rolled his eyes at Monty's surprise at what he said. "What, did you think I was in the hospital for the fuck of it? It doesn't matter, this isn't about me. I'm fine, you aren't." Vitya moved so his legs were crossed. "I did what I could to get to where I am. I'm not happy, but I'm content. What about that redhead is keeping you from being content? Why aren't you letting go?"

MONTY

Monty glared at Vitya, eyebrows still raised, “Aye figured ya went too hard on the drugs an’ booze been there done that but the fuck ya dyin’ fuckin’ explain that shit!” He growled, refusing to let it drop, though not entirely sure why. Monty rubbed a hand over his face again, clearly Vitya was not going to drop this. “Al’ight, go with the ignorin’ ma brother thing Red is the only one who ever gave half a fuck about me. Pops ain’t just some street thug, he’s mob, he’s a fuckin’ Don, an’ he don’t give a shit who he hurts ta get more power. With Red I didn’t have ta be the son of the Don or hide.” Monty responded, apparently finding the hem of his shirt endlessly fascinating so as to not look at Vityas expression. Monty couldn’t believe he was sharing his deepest feelings and was sure he would be laughed at for his pathetic admission. Then again this was Vitya... a guy who never judged just like Schuy... but unlike Schuy this guy had experiences of his own... maybe he understood Monty in a way Schuy never could.

VITYA

"Yes, I am, it's a stupid heart condition. Ventricular tachycardia. Had it all my life, it will kill me, end of story." Vitya said in a snappy tone. Much like Monty's reaction to Vitya's inquiry into is emotions, this was Vitya's soft spot. This was his Schuyler, in some twisted way. Vitya got it a lot more than Monty knew. He nodded, shrugging in understanding before licking his lips. "Russia is anything but legit in it's government. The state controls everything. Kind of like a mafia. Say the wrong thing, you disappear." Vitya pet at Monty's hair, this time lower, toward his neck. "If he isn't willing to make you feel the way you want to, then maybe you should go looking somewhere else. Besides, love, romance, dating- It's shit. A messy load of shit, and if it makes you feel like this-" Vitya motioned to Monty. "-Then that just proves how much it isn't worth it."

MONTY

Monty furrowed his brow, “don’t know what that is but pretty fuckin’ sure it ain’t good an’ all the booze an’ drugs ain’t helpin’. Ya said ya waitin’ ta die but man it sounds more fuckin’ like ya tryin’ ta kill ya’self!” Monty yelled, surprised by the force in his own tone. Since when did he give a shit what other people did to themselves. “Sounds like my fucking family, at least my pa is the one that makes people disappear so I ain’t goin anywhere but fuck it might be better if I did. There ain’t words ta describe how much of a prick he is.” Monty groused but relaxed again under Vityas touch. It was reassuring and yet terrifying that he seemed to be able to control Monty’s emotions this way. Yet the feeling of giving up control is was almost welcomed; he didn’t have to fight to stay in control and it gave him room to breathe. He idly wondered how Vitya had gotten out of Russia but couldn’t bring himself to ask, that seemed too much like being interested or caring. It was bad enough he’d let himself slip and ask about his illness. “It’s all bullshit. Love an’ dating an’ all that. Just made me feel fuckin’ weak an’ just waitin’ to be punched in the gut when he walked away an’ then he did walk an’ I felt like dyin’. I fuckin’ hate how he made me feel man. Never want that shit again. Never!” He ground out with a hard expression, going back to repeatedly clenching and unclenching his fists to avoid lashing out.

VITYA

"They aren't, but I'm not going out with a whimper, either. Fearing it, trying to push it back, just prevents the inevitable. I want to be here for a good time, not a long time." Vitya shook his head, throwing a hand in the air as if to give up. "Maybe I am trying to kill myself, at least I am doing it on my own terms. And I'm not jumping off bridges or that dumb shit. I'm just having fun. Like, when you decked me, and cut me with your ring, I walked away because, finally, someone did it. It made that night fun, I felt alive. If I was worried about dying all the time, I never would have gone." Vitya nodded, laughing at their similarities. "My father runs the largest pharma and drug development company in Russia. I am untouchable, back home, thanks to him. I called myself the Prince of Poison in middle school. Edgy bullshit," he said with a laugh, his hand now tracing circle's in Monty's nape, twirling the hair around his fingers. His then placed his other hand on Monty's thigh, doing a similar circular pattern. "Then maybe it's time to move on. Because if he makes you feel like that, and you hate that, running after him is fucking stupid. He doesn't want you, and you don't like how he made you feel, so what's the point?"

MONTY

“Then why the fuck are ya at college then? Ya plan on dyin’ so why do ya want a degree huh?” Monty snapped back, “sounds like ya plannin’ a future.” He raised an eye brow in an accusatory fashion. “I’d still have beat the shit outta ya even if I knew then ya dying, nobody gets near Nikko and I ain’t apologizing for that.” Monty shrugged, he wasn’t ashamed of loving his brother and wanting to protect him. “Prince of poison.” Monty barked out a laugh shaking his head. “Thought you were hot shit, huh?” He rolled his eyes. “Spent my time yellin’ at anyone who called me Montgomery, eventually they learned an’ just called me Prescott. Fuckin’ teachers spent all their time yellin’ at me anyway doubt they cared what ma first name was. Two older brothers went through the school before me, they saw a Prescott on their ledger an’ knew exactly what they were in for.” He snorted, remembering homeroom teachers giving him talkings to at the beginning of the year expressing their ‘sincere hope’ he wouldn’t be like his brothers. “Not so easy to get that fuck head outta my mind no matter how much I fuckin wish I could. Wanna forget it all.” He whispered, staring down at Vitya’s hand on his thigh. Vityas touch was beginning to make Monty hot again, heat pooling in his stomach and groin, especially once the hand was on his thigh. Monty leaned in and kissed at Vitya’s neck, just below his ear, nipping and sucking, “tell me us fucking doesn’t make ya feel alive. Tell me ya don’t feel like ya world is gunna implode if ya don’t cum. Tell me ya don’t hold me like ya might die if ya don’t when ya finally cum from my cock poundin’ ya ass.” He whispered, lips grazing the shell of Vitya’s ear as he spoke.

VITYA

Vitya's voice caught in his throat, freezing a second. He really had no reply to that. For all his spouting about not caring about his end, Monty saw right through it and asked him the one question he coudn't answer. He just shook his head, and shrugged. "Was bored," he said quickly, knowing that wasn't enough of an answer, but hoping it would slide by as if it was. Vitya laughed with Monty, smiling and biting his lip in embarrassment. "Oh yeah, I really thought I was. It was kiddy nonsense," Vitya mumbled, his smile sticking in place as Monty recounted his formative years. Little things, like homeroom teachers, stick with the strangest people, and Monty was no different. "Did you surpass your brother's before you? I would, I'd see it as a challenge. I'm the youngest, so it would be my mission to out-do my siblings." Vitya admitted with a mischievous look in his eye. "If you forgot, you'd just do it again. Best to remember, so then you know you'll never do it again," Vitya stated back, speaking a low enough tone, as if the walls could hear. And, in a split second, the air went from a freeing open space, to clenching his chest, when Monty looked down to where his hand rested. Vitya, satisfied with all the answers Monty gave, let the man have his way with his neck, angling his head just so to give him all the freedom he needed. He let out a breathy, distracted chuckle, the hand that was calmly dancing in Monty's hair now gripping a bit tighter. "If I did, I'd be lying," Vitya whispered back, uncrossing his legs. With a seductive slowness, practiced and natural, Vitya slid one leg over Monty's legs, slotting himself in Monty's lap. He took Monty's hands and placed then on his waist, where his shirt was hiked up just enough so skin touched skin. "Don't be gentle."

MONTY

"Sure bored, not thinkin' about the future at all." Monty snorted, the disbelief clear in his tone but he could read Vitya like a book the way he stumbled over the words. This would be a conversation for another day, not that he really understood why he wanted to press the issue. Monty rolled his eyes, laughing easily, feeling relaxed. "Tough guy, huh? If ya didn't look like I could break ya in two right now I'd put ya tough guy act to the test." He taunted like a school kid on the playground. "KT and Thatch are morons, not exactly hard to out do 'em. Teachers never believed me when I said I didn't cheat on exams, they always made me take 'em away from other kids with some fuckin' supervisor." He laughed remembering the first time he got 100% on a physics exam and had been accused. It had felt awful and wonderful at the same time. "Of course you wanted to make more trouble than your siblin's, you're a sucker for a bad rep aren't ya?" He chuckled, enjoying this easy banter. "Wanna forget him, all the shit I liked about him, but I'll never forget that horrible feelin' that makes my skin crawl, I'll never let myself see all that good shit in anyone again cause it ain't worth it." Monty shook his head with a deep sigh.

A hum of satisfaction escaped Monty as Vitya presented his neck, allowing Monty to have his way with him was the control he needed right now after losing his reigns on his feelings for Schuyler. Monty moaned at the tug on his hair, another flash of heat shooting through his body. "So ya don't need me to hit ya ta make ya feel alive. Don't need ta be playin' with death. Just need my cock in ya ass." He continued, biting on Vitya's lip. It wasn't a gentle nibble it was sharp aiming to cause a quick sting of pain. Monty ran his hands down the younger man's body to his ass, squeezing his butt, enjoying the feel of the muscles under his hands before forcefully pulling Vitya down so their crotches rubbed together. The pressure on his dick made Monty moan but it wasn't enough and something tripped a switch inside him so he was thinking entirely with his cock. He grabbed at Vitya's sweatpants and tore them away so he could finally get his hands on that firm, smooth bubble butt.

VITYA

Vitya laughed along with Monty. "Yeah, you probably could. I'm not the most robust guy," he said, softly. It was interesting to hear more about Monty's life growing up. It sounded individual, singular proving more and more that he was not like other people. Vitya could see that 'shitty school life' was something they shared. The only contrast was Vitya being an absolute demon at his school on purpose. "I am, the worst the rep is, the more people gossip. And I do love gossip. It's politics for the powerless." Vitya, in the hope that he could say one final thing to truly get to Monty's core on his inner drama, tucked some hair behind his ear. "Then fuck him, and the high horse he rode in on." "In the end, Death fucks us all," he whispered quickly, knowing that after this, there was going to be less and less talking. Vitya gasped at Monty biting his lip, his eyes rolling a moment before he made it an actual kiss. He slid his tongue into Monty's mouth, giving him no option but to let him in. He moaned in delight as Monty touched him, taking hold of his waist and pulling him down. Vitya's eyes went wide when he felt, and heard the sound of tearing, looking back and seeing what Monty did. "Oh, I am going to make you regret that-" he said, swiftly tearing open Monty's dress shirt. His hands overtook the new open space, his hips sliding forward to grinding against him, then back into his hands again. Vitya leaned in and kissed Monty again, giving him some payback for biting his lip by doing the same. Vitya's hands went at Monty's belt, doing what we promised earlier and starting the process of getting him out of his clothes, of which there were way too many. He had done this too any times, able to get his belt out of the loops in one swift tug, palming Monty through his jeans before starting on the button. "Fuck, how are you this hard already?"

MONTY

"I bet ya a scrappy little fucker when ya not right outta the hospital though." Monty chuckled, lightly punching at Vitya in a playful manner just to tease. It was rather odd talking about his childhood, especially school, but it was kinda nice, and he did always enjoy showing off how intelligent he was. "Always been in trouble? Makes sense, hell in high heals an' all that shit. But ya ain't exactly powerless though are ya? Bein' a Prince an' all." Monty retorted, rolling his eye again for effect before breaking down and laughing again. Monty nodded, feeling a sense of closure on todays Schuyler chapter. No doubt the pain would come again, it was like the tide in that sense, the way it came and went; but now the tide was out, his feelings were being forgotten in favour of losing himself in Vitya. "It fucks us all in the end but who said we can't go out fightin'" Monty murmured against Vitya's lips. A groan rumbled in Monty's chest feeling the force of the kiss and the demands of Vitya's tongue against his. Sometimes he needed to take control for himself, and sometimes he needed to give it over and somehow Vitya was able to give him both. Vitya's moans caused Monty to buck his hips up and increase the friction between them. Monty tried to laugh as Vitya ripped open his shirt, sending the buttons flying but it came out more like a whine, he couldn't deny how hot it was that even in his state Vitya could still do this. Mont kept his hands on his ass, working with him as he moved his hips, letting his hands roam the now exposed flesh. He grabbed the cheeks and pulled them, letting his finger tips graze his hole. A shiver ran through him at the efficiency of Vitya undoing his belt and jeans, it was speed that only came with practice and it served as a reminder of all the times they'd done this before and how good it was. "Fuck." Monty swore under his breath as the feel of Vitya's hand. "Ya got me this hard ya fuckin' dick." he groaned, as his head fell back.

VITYA

Vitya was anything but distracted. He was laser sharp was Monty's hand groped at his ass, eventually propping as his hole, making him shiver. He bit his lip and smiled as Monty lost himself to such a simple thing as a grope through his jeans. He pushed back into his hands hoping to wake the other man up a bit. Vitya carefully undid Monty's jeans, and with seasoned hands, slid his cock free from their confines. Vitya gave a fake, innocent look. "Oh, did I?" He teased, sliding his hand up and down Monty's shaft at a delicate, slow pace. He leaned into Monty's ear, nipping the lobe a moment. "So sorry about that..." "Come on, be a good boy and open me up. Want you inside me," Vitya whispered, licked down to Monty's neck, where he promptly kissed and sucked a deep, purple hickey into existence. He even bit, just for a moment, to make sure it stuck. He began to twist his wrist as his hand slid up and down Monty's shaft, encouraging him to keep going. "Are you going to pound me into the floor, or am I gonna ride you till you whimper? Decisions, decisions..." Vitya teased even more, his free hand now joining in on his jerking of Monty's cock.

*fade to black*

#para #para: vitya #vityacristo‌

[kylermalloy]

My Official Unofficial Ranking of Supernatural Seasons That Nobody Asked For

This was...surprisingly easy. For someone who has a hard time picking favorites, I’m apparently quite eager to throw some seasons of one of my favorite shows under the bus.

My reasonings for this ranking are...all over the place. Since I’m considering seasons as a whole, I look mostly at the overall narrative structure, the prevalent themes, and the major character arcs. I won’t take individual/one-off episodes into much consideration...except for when I do. I won’t like some seasons/story arcs for any rationale between “this was sloppily executed,” “the message is misunderstood by viewers,” or even just that gif of Chris Evans “I don’t wike it.” I’m trying to look at seasons and storylines objectively, but I guarantee my Sam!girl bias will peek through at some point. Also, I reserve the right to change my mind at any point after I post this!

From bottom to top:

14 - Season 14

Ah, the twilight years of SPN. Now that we know this is the penultimate season, I’m a bit more lenient toward its shortcomings. Long running shows usually do stutter to a halt, story-wise. But still. I’m not taking it out of the bottom spot.

What was this season even about? Michael overtaking Dean? Nah, that barely lasted three whole episodes. Jack becoming evil? Not until the last six episodes. Team Free Will becoming a cohesive family unit? Lol. For a season that tried to set up Jack’s evil arc as a kid betraying his family, I hardly saw this “family” except in fanworks. The most heartfelt moments remained between Sam and Dean (not that I’m complaining about that—I loved those moments!) Was there an overarching theme besides “nobody is okay, especially Sam”? Season 14 is clumsy, unfocused, and does a poor job of telling the story it tried to tell. Even Mary’s second death reeked of “well, we didn’t know what to do with her and we needed a tragedy.” Oh yeah, and John was back for a hot minute.

13 - Season 9

Here’s one of these weird seasons. I like it, but I don’t. It’s well done, but it’s terrible. Also, I’m taking fan response into consideration on this one, since it colored my perception of it so negatively.

Season 9 could have been great. In a way, it was great. It was Dean’s dark arc—the part of Dean’s dark arc that I like. I’m not here to debate, just lay out the story. Dean stepped over a line. He tricked Sam into possession, lied to him for months, then refused to apologize afterward. He took the Mark of Cain as a penance, but it blew up in his face and turned him into something worse than he was before.

This is where fan response comes in. Fandom (from what I can tell; I wasn’t here back then) vilified Sam for setting boundaries with Dean, overwhelmingly siding with poor Dean who just didn’t want to be alone. The show, on paper, wasn’t trying to make the audience think this, but the POVs were skewed in such a way that we hardly got a chance to see Sam’s perspective and Sam’s trauma—so casual viewers didn’t really have a choice.

On a completely unrelated note (see, this is why this season is ranked so low) we have the angel storyline. What could’ve been a really cool and impactful story of celestial beings walking the earth, as well as Castiel exploring his new humanity in a way (that wasn’t just about sex) ended up a trite, dull affair about underdeveloped politics and characters I don’t care about. Did Metatron (the supposed big bad) even care about the Winchesters? I can’t remember. Only the actor’s indulgently entertaining performance saves that character. Even Castiel’s human arc was so short and ignored I sometimes forget it happened. This was a season that was so all over the place—good bones, bad execution.

12 - Season 12

This season is just...forgettable. Yet another season that was so all over the place—but unlike season 9, the story arcs did not culminate in a cool twist that pushed the SPN story to new heights. We had the BMOL, Mary’s return, and the Lucifer/Kelly/Dagon/nephilim story, and...honestly I can barely remember anything about them. The twisting story threads got interlocked at some points, like Mary working with the BMOL, and Sam and Dean working with them to take down Lucifer, but the threads were all wrapped up independently. To me, this suggests a lack of true investment in the stories and season arcs. Ultimately, Mary’s return was utterly wasted, the BMOL might as well have never existed, and the Lucifer storyline is a bloody, bloated carcass being dragged along behind the show by a fraying rope (called Buckleming) complete with a bad smell.

The reason I rank this season above season 9 is that I don’t shudder when I hear people talking about season 12. I don’t generally get angry when I think about it (except the way they did Crowley dirty) and it did give us Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever given us. (I’ll elaborate on that in a minute)

11 - Season 10

This is the season in which I don’t like Dean’s dark arc. By that I mean...it wasn’t much of a dark arc. Instead of exploring Dean’s inner darkness and the choices that led him to take the MoC, we get a meandering season of (pretty enjoyable) one-offs. We are repeatedly told Dean can’t fight off what he truly is—except we’re also being told that Dean can’t truly control what the MoC is doing to him, meaning the MoC isn’t what he truly is. It’s a mixed message, and it ends up being too many episodes in a row of Dean staring moodily at his arm while he drinks. Sorry, an ancient tribal tattoo does not a compelling big bad make.

Speaking of bad guys, though, season 10 gave us Rowena! And more Crowley material! And the Stynes—wait, no. We don’t talk about...whatever they were.

I do like Sam’s determination to save Dean, and I even like the underhanded methods he used to get the MoC off. Charlie’s death was a horrifying shock, but it actually fed the story very well. And I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about individual episodes, but Soul Survivor and Fan Fiction are both epic.

10 - Season 8

...this season. This season is such a mixed bag you could almost rank it as two separate seasons! ;) This was Jeremy Carver’s first season as showrunner—and while I like what he ended up doing, I hated the way he played with the brother dynamics throughout the season, especially the first half. Season 8 starts out disjointed, very unconnected from the previous season. The story thread of “Sam didn’t look for Dean” is overplayed and very tired. Also a bit of a reach, considering the season 5 finale. My point is, Sam and Dean both act like pod people for the first part of this season. Dean is mad at Sam for...doing exactly what Dean himself did a few years ago (fandom misses the nuance of Dean’s hypocrisy and jumps right in the blame-Sam boat with him) and Sam is suddenly...living with a strange woman we barely get to meet and okay with not hunting anymore?

This is another example of the skewed POVs hurting the show’s message. We don’t get to see Sam’s grief the same way we saw Dean’s struggle in purgatory, and since Sam’s Amelia arc makes very little sense anyway, we’re forced to imagine it—and this is a disservice to both Sam and the overarching story.

However, the saving grace of season 8 is the second half. We get the bunker, the Trials storyline, which is a whump goldmine for my Sam-loving heart, and one of the best season finales this show has ever produced. I mean...they got married. In a CHURCH! I’m not really a wincester, but seriously how do you not ship it just a little when the show gives you stuff like THAT?!

*deep breath* I’m good. Moving on!

9 - Season 13

I...have a soft spot for this season. Anybody who follows me on here can probably guess why. That’s right, it’s Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever gifted us.

Let me explain. The narrative structure of the season is a mess. The exploratory theme of Sam and Dean as parents is derailed by the fact that Sam and Dean spend less than six episodes with their surrogate child and spend the rest of the season spinning their wheels until it’s time for the finale. Lucifer as a villain doesn’t give a crap about the protagonists, which makes him a really boring and terrible antagonist—to say nothing of the fact that two of the writers try to make him sympathetic and end up assassinating the character harder than Michael!Dean did. I only found Scoobynatural mildly entertaining. As for Asmodeus...who’s that?

Basically, the only shining light in this season besides the brothers is Jack. And we don’t even get a consistent characterization of him. He’s essentially a blank slate, which means we as fans and fanwork creators get to make him whatever we want. While he’s supposedly the Winchesters’ kid in canon, it’s rarely shown—that falls on us as fans to make a reality. And boy do we make it reality! This is where I found my corner of fandom, and that’s why this mess of a season ranks relatively high for me. Still in the bottom half, but it gave me one of the greatest gifts the show has ever given.

8 - Season 7

I shouldn’t have to defend myself, but while most of the fandom harbors a little black spot of hatred for this season...I don’t. Like, at all.

I don’t agree with all the creative choices of this season—the Leviathans were an out-of-nowhere big bad with no connection to the Winchesters. However, the guy who played Dick Roman did a fantastic job hamming it up. And I love how all the pieces came together in the end—Sam and Dean, Cas, Crowley, even Meg as a surprise reluctant hero. We also got Charlie! And Kevin! Bobby got a fantastic arc, both before he died and from beyond the grave. And Crowley, even though he helped win the day, also rigged the game so he took all the pieces left on the board. Mad respect for my king.

Also, as a stalwart fan of Sam whump, Sam’s hallucination storyline was all kinds of awesome. (Except for how it abruptly ended and was never spoken of again)

I know objectively this season isn’t very good, but I still find myself rewatching it a surprising amount. I have a soft spot for Sera’s storytelling, and she did not have complete control over the creative decisions for this year. Season 7 only barely misses out of the top half.

7 - Season 3

This season is great, it really is. I think the main reason I rank it so low is because of the shortened season—Sam’s aborted arc. And that was obviously out of everyone’s control; the creators had to just pick up the pieces and make do with what circumstances gave them.

Basically, I don’t have anything bad to say about this season. It’s a brother-lovefest, it gives us Bela and Ruby, and yes we get some truly great one-off eps. Bad Day at Black Rock, A Very Supernatural Christmas, Mystery Spot, Jus in Bello, and Ghostfacers are among my favorite episodes to rewatch. I just mainly miss the end of Sam’s arc. Although I do appreciate the writers’ strike giving us Castiel instead, I still wish we could’ve gotten to see boyking!Sam save his brother.

6 - Season 2

While on the surface season 2 is barely different than season 1, it also gives us loads of gamechangers. It’s the coming-of-age season—Sam and Dean aren’t kids anymore; in fact, they aren’t anyone’s kids. The season bookends of John’s death and Sam’s death make a horrible tragedy that I don’t even care much what’s in the middle.

But then again, everything in between is so good. There’s not much of an overarching story, just a sense of dread and desperation as...something...draws near. (We don’t even know what it is, but it still scares us! It’s masterful!) The tone is consistent and effective, the brother dynamics are still balanced enough to fully enjoy, and of course...there’s Playthings. :)

(Y’all are gonna stop believing me when I say I’m not a wincester, I can feel it. What can I say, I have incestuous shipping tendencies.)

5 - Season 11

This is a season that I could tear limb from limb for falling so flat in the end, but...somehow I can’t bring myself to. I didn't find myself into the Amara storyline too much, mainly because the God/Darkness sibling dynamic wasn’t developed enough to parallel with Sam and Dean invest in. But this season does an awesome job of healing the brother dynamics. While seasons 8, 9, and 10 were fight-heavy, Sam and Dean spend this season in relative peace. In times of potential crisis, they band together instead of fracturing apart. And that, honestly, is enough for me to forgive...well, a lot, plotwise. The Dean/Amara connection that went nowhere, the Casifer storyline that went nowhere, the Darkness’s grudge against her brother that...went nowhere...and I’m not even going to touch on the Sam/Lucifer dynamic that started out SO GOOD and then...well...

Again, I’m not going to touch on it. I love this season despite its flaws.

4 - Season 1

Here it is. The season that started it all. I said I was going to consider mostly narrative structures for this ranking, yet here season 1 is without much of a narrative structure, fourth from the top.

The first season of a show is always the feel-around-in-the-dark season. This is where we learn the rules of the show, how the world works, and most importantly, who our characters are. We spend 22 episodes with the writers and actors just...figuring out who Sam and Dean are, most especially who they are to each other. They were so successful in this that they spawned a fifteen year phenomenon centered around this fraternal love story. As an additional plus, since the characters were so new, season 1 gives us the most balanced POV between the brothers. We get to feel for both of them without being pitted against each other, and I appreciate that more than words.

The horror is old-school, the storytelling can be a bit cliche, but every show has an origin story and I’m in love with this one.

3 - Season 6

Again, I love Sera Gamble’s storytelling. It’s most evidenced here in her first year of showrunning. This season had the astronomical task of following up season 5. How do you follow up the literal apocalypse?

...Astoundingly well. To me at least.

This season’s narrative structure is my favorite. It’s kind of a noir thriller, with more twists and turns than Supernatural usually gets. In fact, having now watched Vampire Diaries and The Originals, season 6 of SPN kind of echoes those shows. (I don’t think it’s coincidence that TVD aired its first season one year prior to this)

Instead of trying to outdo the literal devil (the mistake of latter seasons) we spend most of season 6 not knowing who the big bad is. We meet a few baddies, get backstabbed by former friends, and we’re told Raphael is a threat, but in the end the big bad was the friend we made along the way—Castiel. It’s depressing, it’s not what we expected, and it’s honestly a departure from “traditional” SPN. But I like it. I like it a lot. If Sera had been allowed to do more seasons like this, she probably would’ve stayed longer.

2 - Season 4

I love a lot of things about this season. The way they handled the angels was great—the right way to do unknowably powerful beings. I like Sam’s dark arc. It’s coupled perfectly with his good intentions and his all-consuming love for his brother. The plot twist at the end is perfect—Sam, in doing the right thing, unleashes the worst evil this world has (yet) known.

The tone is also perfect. It’s dark. A little edgier. Edging toward eldritch horror rather than ghost horror. Balanced out with light episodes that pack a hard punch in the feels regardless. And this is a little thing, but the color grading shifts back to more sepia after the technicolor of season 3. It gives us this little sense of dread throughout the season without even knowing why.

I could complain about the skewed POVs, about how fandom still sometimes crows “Dean was right about Lilith!” when all Dean opposed was Ruby and the demon blood—he wanted killed Lilith too. But as this instance of POV-warp serves the storyline in a good, necessary way, and Sam truly did need to be brought back from his dark path, I’m choosing to ignore it.

1 - Season 5

Are we surprised? Maybe some Sam fans are—I know some who get vexed about the blame for the apocalypse being solely and constantly placed on Sam...but I’m not. The overall story of season 5 is just so good. Lucifer is a good villain in this season. Sam and Dean have an excellent healing arc. The angels are good villains, also ironic mouthpieces of the overarching themes—despite touting “fate” and “unavoidable,” they are champions of free will, since they do whatever they want in their father’s absence. Zachariah most notably. Castiel was utilized in a good way (whereas now he struggles to still have purpose in the show) Bobby and Crowley both were good in this season (and also sparked a rarepair that’s—hilariously—canon) and this season did not pull any punches when it came to death. Even the main protagonists were shot point-blank halfway through the season! (Don’t talk to me about the samulet, I can’t do it without bawling)

And Swan Song remains my favorite season finale and overall episode. Dean relinquishing control of his little brother, allowing him to make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the world. I still halfway wish the series ended with Sam and Dean both throwing themselves into the Cage, destroying themselves for the world, out of love for each other. (insert “poetic cinema” meme)

And there we have it! To my mutuals, I’d love to hear your thoughts or your rankings. And to @letsgobethegoodguys - Steph, since this was so hard for you, I did it myself so I could feel your pain. 😘

#supernatural #through the seasons #spn #rankings #kylerrambles #listen—i welcome discussion! #pls talk to me! #but if you come on my post just to argue with me—don’t bother

[thawedpatriot]

okay, my e.ndgame thoughts are below the cut. beware, they’re somewhat incoherent at times mainly just because my brain is still trying to wrap my head around some stuff. also it’s really really long. like 3k words long. major spoilers ahead!

-okay so the whole beginning felt. really rushed, if that makes sense? like, i’m glad that tony got back to earth fairly early on but that was very sudden, having carol show up and carry the ship to the compound. however, i can’t complain too much because watching steve book it to tony’s side as he was coming off the ship gave me life. the fact that he just hovered the whole time and was there to support him and show he cares just. pleased me.

- tony had every right to blow up at steve. i mean, god, the man’s been through so much. he’s lost so much and is still recovering from everything that happened. he’s frustrated and angry and hurting and steve pressed for information too callously too soon, and it set an exhausted tony off. totally valid. and tony was right, he saw all this coming and no one listened to him, even though half of that was just bc aou was a fucking mess writing wise. but steve told him ‘together’ and because they weren’t together when shit went down, they all lost. would it have killed either of them to call during the two years they had to do so? no, probably not. that probably would’ve been a step towards working back to that ‘together’ thing. because there’s years of unresolved tension and conflict between them at this point, none of it ever got resolved between them, so it’s finally coming to a head now that they’re properly in the same room again.

- that said, the ‘you weren’t there when i needed you’ bit rubbed me the wrong way. because it was bruce who ended up calling. tony never made a call, never asked for steve’s help. never let him know he needed him, even though he had that ability to. so yes, steve is at fault here too, but it’s not 100% on him that things went down the way they did, if that makes sense.

- tony shoving the arc reactor into steve’s hand???? killed me on the spot, thanks.

- the devastation steve must be feeling when they figure out the stones are gone??? gutting. he was so sure they would be able to bring everyone back wit the stones once they’d taken care of thanos. he was so ready for a fight, so ready to get his revenge and make things right, and there just. was no fight, no way to bring his friends back. he’d lost bucky all over again, and now he’s lost sam, too. sam, who he dragged into all this. that kind of guilt festers in him for those five years, no doubt.

- i wanna know what steve did for those five years. because, yes, we see him talking in that small therapy group, but not only is he giving advice he’s not taking himself, but he’s just not shown doing much of anything else. he’s holding on to all his trauma and grief and not dealing with it, just like he’s been doing since he left the ice. so what is he doing all that time??? but also seeing him in a therapy group setting made my heart swell a little bit because you know he did that for sam. he misses his friend and is doing that for him, i will not believe anything otherwise. sam was and is so important to him.

- this is unrelated to steve but is important to me as a bi: carol’s hair looked so good i made a noise when i saw it and my friend hit me in the arm 

- god i wish we saw more of steve and nat interact. because clearly they’ve been in contact with one another for the past 5 years and that’s probably the longest running friendship he’s had going besides bucky so. it’s nice to know he didn’t lose everyone in one way or another for those 5 years. they just know each other so well and recognize the similarities between one another and i’m just really glad he wasn’t all alone all that time.

- steve is so done with everyone throughout this movie, including himself. it’s beautiful.

- sidenote, i could not take bruce seriously as a character the way he was and i don’t know why. also they did thor dirty. they did thor so dirty. he was a joke until they needed him to fight. the level of guilt and trauma thor is dealing with is immeasurable and they turned it into comic relief by leaning into fat-shaming and joking about alcoholism???? nah man, that’s not okay. not at all. address that he’s dealing with ptsd, show that he’s using unhealthy coping mechanisms, and help him. don’t make fun of him, don’t just let him keep doing that to himself, help him. the only scene in the whole movie i genuinely liked with him in it was his scene with frigga. because she took him seriously, she was willing to listen and offer advice and tell him what he needed to hear. that scene was so important.

- another sidenote, as much as i disliked p.epperony in the past, this movie made me appreciate them more. because i’ve always loved them both as individual characters, pepper potts owns my whole soul, but as a couple they were just written in a way that made me not love it as the movies went on. however, this movie really showed growth in their development as a couple, in pepper accepting tony for who he is and the needs he has to do good. also tony is an amazing father and it’s just so validating to see a character who grew up with an abusive parent break the cycle and become soft and kind in any interactions he has with his daughter. you can tell how much he loves his family, and it’s what he deserved.

- okay so i hope we can all agree the time travel science in this movie was fucked and they did a really bad job at explaining how it works. it was not clear, did not make sense, and following standard time travel laws there were a million paradoxes happening and it makes me angry. nebula killing her past self? bullshit bc she should not exist after that. steve’s whole ending??? also bullshit but i’ll get to that later because that’s an essay in itself.

- tony giving steve the shield back was such a big deal okay. the fact that tony has acknowledged that holding onto the resentment was detrimental to his own health and being was so important. we got a handshake and i really thought they were gonna go for a hug but noooo that’d be too much to ask for i guess. but steve hasn’t seen or held that thing in like 7 years it has to be nice to have it in his hands again, seeing as he always refers to it as an extension of his arm and all. and to be getting it back, nice and polished, from tony probably means a great deal to him as well.

- okay now let’s get to the actual time travel bit. steve and tony being the ones to zap back to 2012???? my god its like everything i ever wanted was handed to me on a platter. that movie was what got me on this marvel train and as even with its issues, it holds such a dear place in my heart. so you know the second that ‘2012′ popped onto the screen i was ready to combust. and then it just got better because it felt like an extension of the movie, like we were seeing deleted scenes, which was just. really nice?? 

- god okay “america’s ass” gave me so much life as dumb as the whole joke was. because tony blatantly checking out steve’s ass?? my dude thats the gayest thing i’ve ever seen with my own two eyes. but then tony commenting on how his ass looks in the suit???? i was living, okay. living. and the fact that he checked out his past self’s ass and was like ‘yeah, damn straight’ amused me greatly.

- ngl the ‘hail hydra’ bit made me uncomfy initially, but honestly i’m just gonna appreciate how clever my boy is and how stupid hydra is. his ‘i’m clever and i know it and i just outsmarted piece of shit nazis’ smile as he walked away from the elevator with the case???? priceless. i was half expecting another elevator fight but i guess that wouldn’t really make sense sfdghj

- steve fighting himself? past steve reacting to the compass appearing and getting super fucking pissed over the concept that someone might’ve taken it or something??? the fact that it was ‘bucky is alive’ that had him going full stop???? oof. also, the ‘i can do this all day’ and ‘yeah, i know’ was funny initially but oh my god is my boy exhausted. he’s so tired. he’s been fighting for decades. someone let him rest. please. 

- also unrelated, i wanna know where the fuck loki fucked off to when he grabbed the tessaract. like is this where the concept for his spinoff show comes from???? what did he do????

- steve and tony being on the same wavelength and trusting each other??? steve trusting tony wholeheartedly even if he didn’t fully know what it was tony was planning?? important. so, so important.

- steve in camp lehigh. oh my god. why did no one recognize captain america???? it’s been twenty years, sure, but y’all slapped ‘birthplace of captain america’ on your sign and there’s probably pictures of his face around in more places than peggy’s desk. you’re telling me no one would recognize him standing in the middle of the military camp??? nah, i don’t buy it. y’all had poor disguises and didn’t even get him sunglasses or anything. c’mon guys, you’re better than this.

- okay look this isn’t a tony blog but what the fuck was that scene with howard,, i understand it in terms of why they included it when looking at the narrative. because of tony’s whole ‘resentment is corrosive, didn’t like it’ thing and the need for closure on that front before his story ends, but he didn’t owe howard jack shit, let alone a ‘thank you’. that man, even if he had the best intentions and wanted tony to succeed in the future because he knew he had potential, was neglectful and abusive. he was not affectionate, he did not make tony feel as though he were loved, and it deeply affected tony as a person. the fact that he doesn’t know how far along his own wife is with their firstborn child??? big red flag right there, friends. sure, it’s good to show kids with bad relationships with their parents that its possible to work through negative emotions and resentment and move on with their lives but this was not the example to give. tony did not owe his father anything at that point. he’d moved on, made himself better, became a better father than howard was to him. i’m just. so angry about it okay.

- steve looking through the glass of peggy’s office at her, believing this was the last time he was going to see her again??? broke my heart but i called it as soon as i knew time travel was involved in this movie. i knew they’d throw a ‘steve sees her while traveling and is really sad about it’ bit in there somewhere. and i would have been content if that was it, if that was all he got. if that was the closure he got, one last glimpse of her. the fact that twenty years later she still has the picture of him, before he was captain america, on her desk??? erases any of the development and growth we know she went through in her series and whatnot, but it’s a good reminder that peggy carter was one of the few people that saw steve for who he was. she saw the skinny kid from brooklyn and knew he had what it took to be a hero, she saw him for the good man he was. she loved him for who he was. that means a great deal to steve, who no doubt struggles with the line between steve and cap a lot. but by this point, peggy would have moved on. in the series, she had moved on. erasing all of that development is detrimental to her character and i refuse it.

- seeing jarvis again was a treat. i squeaked.

- what the fuck was that with natasha??? what kind of man-pain fuel was that??? and why didn’t she get the proper funeral/mourning she deserved??? she’s been around since im2, she was the one who united the avengers, she was the first female avenger (bc they swept janet van dyne under the rug but thats a whole other rant), and that’s the end of her arc??? as soon as i saw where her and hawkeye were headed i just knew. i knew what was gonna happen and i was hissing internally. because i knew there was no way she’d be like ‘yeah you’re my best friend, you have a family, you go ahead and jump’ and on behalf of all the mcu writers i wanna apologize to all c.lint.asha shippers for the mess the mcu gave y’all. i’m so sorry j*ss fucked it up for y’all bc he wanted something for two characters no one else wanted. she deserved to be mourned. she didn’t deserve to be forgotten for like the rest of the film after that initial ‘she’s gone’. she deserved a funeral, too. steve just lost one of his closest friends???? on top of everything else he’s lost, let him express that. please.

- so back on my s.tony shit, the ‘that’s my man’ when tony nudged steve awake to hand him back his shield after the compound blew up??? not heterosexual at all. y’all aren’t even trying to hide it anymore u bastards

- STEVE ROGERS USING THE HAMMER. Y’ALL. Y’ALL. MY BOY IS WORTHY AND I KNEW IT AND THIS MEANS HE SPARED THOR IN AOU BC HE’S A COMPASSIONATE LOSER WHO DIDN’T WANT TO HURT HIS FRIEND’S PRIDE AND FEELINGS. BUT GOD THAT WAS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING I’VE SEEN ON SCREEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. HIM USING BOTH HIS SHIELD AND THE HAMMER AT THE SAME TIME, MAKING COMBO STRIKE OUT OF IT??? USING THE LIGHTING???? MAN I CAN TELL YOU WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT I HAVE NOT SCREAMED SO LOUD IN A MOVIE THEATER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

- all the ladies fighting together?? shielding peter???? kicking ass together??? gave me life. that was the most beautiful scene in the entire mcu,,, it made my bi heart burst,, all it was missing was nat, but it was a nice way to be like ‘this is what she started’. and seeing pepper out there as rescue was just the cherry on top okay i love her sm she’s so cool and finally fighting out there alongside tony and rhodey. my wife carol danvers is also the coolest??? not even flinching when thanos does whatever head-butt thing he was going for??? god i love my wives.

- ‘on your left’ god damn yes let sam wilson be the one to announce that they’re all back my boy deserves it. i wanted a proper reunion between steve and sam and/or bucky. we didn’t get that. we didn’t get that!!!!!! we didn’t get anything like that!!!!! steve was primarily on his own for 5 years because he lost his two best friends and we don’t get a reunion scene??? i call bullshit, marvel

- also rocket trying to shield groot with his own little body during the aerial attack??? broke my little heart??? like he just got him back and is terrified that he’ll lose him again,,,

- no one talk to me about tony stark i can’t handle it, he deserved to be happy and live a long life with his family. he deserved that happy ending, but i’m so grateful that pepper just. understood what he needed. she knew what he needed to hear and was there for him and could just ‘we’ll be okay, you can rest’. and give him that peace of mind. he did it, he saved the universe, he brought everyone back, he can rest. but god he really deserved to be able to rest with his family, happy and alive, okay.

- steve’s small exchange with bucky was like a nice reference to the first cap movie, but that was all we got. steve has spent multiple movies trying to get bucky back and help him, and we don’t even get a reunion scene and then just this one little bit of back and forth. a soft ‘i’ll miss you’, even though its technically only supposed to be seconds for them?? like,,, does that means bucky knows??? like, he has a feeling he knows what steve’s gonna do??? idk man, idk. all i do know is that they deserved better in this movie. i’m also summing up bucky’s telling sam to go talk to steve as bucky’s ‘i don’t know if i can handle that’ admission tbh.

- god bless sam wilson. between being the one to be like ‘bring him back. where is he? get him back.’ the second something seemed to go wrong with the time travel was,,, really nice. like, thank you for caring about my boy. thank you for always having his back. i love you so much sam wilson. and anyone who thinks sam shouldn’t be the one to get the shield can meet me in a back alley okay, this man has earned it, he’s the right pick for the cap mantle. the cap theme playing when he was given the shield? Iconic. did i cry whenever the cap theme played during this movie?? Absolutely.

- time travel in this movie is a fucking joke but i wanna know if steve had to see the red skull when he returned the soul stone because can you imagine??? that interaction??? like, did anyone warn him??? did anyone tell him the red skull was there or was it only implied when clint said something about a red man or whatever after coming back and being upset about natasha???? but also where did steve travel back to in order to start his new life??? were there just two caps in the universe??? one in the ice and one living his life w/ peggy???? none of it makes sense. none of it. where does the shield go/come from???? guys??? guys.

-okay now we address the end of steve’s arc. i’m gonna start by saying i see both sides of the discourse it’s stirred up. i understand the intention behind it, not wanting steve’s story to just be one big tragedy. because that’s where it was headed. if they killed him, he would have been fighting for decades on end without rest, without knowing peace, and that would’ve been it. that’s not the end people want to see for their heroes. he deserves to be able to put down the shield and rest. he deserves that ending for himself after fighting his whole life. However, the way they did it not only flattened his entire arc, but it flattened peggy’s entire character as well. she built a life in his absence, she moved on, and he knows this. he knew this, and i refuse to believe that steve would selfishly go back and disrupt that, take that away from her for the sake of his own personal happiness. that’s not steve rogers, a good and compassionate man. because think about the life he’d have to lead, knowing all he does. because if he isn’t supposed to disrupt the timeline, he has to let everything with hydra happen and infiltrate shield, something he knows peggy’s dedicated to, he has to let everything with bucky happen and be okay with not stepping in and rescuing his best friend from that horrific life/killing tony’s parents, he has to watch both tony and sharon grow up knowing everything about their lives??? (not to mention how fucking weird everything with sharon would be  considering the mcu just forgot about her after they made out in the parking lot???? sharon deserved better.) 

- this wasn’t an end of an arc, it was the flattening of an arc. he didn’t actually deal with anything that he’d been through. tws was all about how he needed to move on, peggy herself told him that the world was changing and he had to move with it instead of lingering in the past and what he lost. he was supposed to be building himself a new life, addressing what he lost and the trauma he’s been through and work through it all to push onward. that’s development. he got away with not working on himself or anything he went through, the group therapy was never actually beneficial because he didn’t take any of his advice, he clung to his emotions and grief and wasn’t able to move on and says as much. giving him this easy way out just feels lazy in my opinion. like they didn’t know what to do with him, wanted him to end up happy, and this was the only way they saw that happening because he wasn’t properly developed over the course of the mcu. i’m happy my boy ended up happy, don’t get me wrong, i was very close to sobbing over him finally getting that dance, but it was highly unsatisfactory in terms of a story and character arc.

#sir that is my emotional support canon divergence ( ooc ) #long post #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #a4 spoilers

[ectoplasmbender]

A Word on Sam...

Sam is 14….let that sink in. I don’t know about you guys, but when I was 14 and a freshman I had some major attitude issues and went through about 3 or 4 seperate phases that were all cringey. 14 year olds are often immature because they haven’t had time to really fully break away from their parents or develop past a middle school mentality. At 14, I was superficial, self-righteous and very judgemental. In fact, the show actually stresses this idea of immaturity within several of the main characters quite often. Most main characters have at least one episode dedicated to examining their immaturity, from Danny (who pulls pranks, is often petty or moody, cheats, is occasionally selfish, etc) to Tucker (who is often very jealous and is overly flirtatious), even to Jazz (who is VERY self-righteous at times and is much too nosy). All these characters have growing up to do. The unfair part here is that Sam never really has an arc or even one episode that really focuses on her learning to grow up, which is something other characters get.

Secondly, the fact that a middle-aged man created Sam and that he and other men wrote a majority of the episodes is very relevant. It becomes clear why Sam has internalized misogyny when we think about the fact that Sam and her interactions with other female characters (like Paulina) are a product of what a man sees as positive and negative female traits. I’ve written before about how Paulina and Star and other “mean girls” have been done a disservice by being written as superficial and by having their desire to look pretty and traditionally feminine characterized as such. Logically Sam (in canon) can’t ever get past the very problematic idea that feminine=superficial as long as the people writing her can’t either. In a show littered with some not-so-subtle sexism, we can’t honestly believe that this particular fault of Sam can be remedied in canon. This is what fanon and fanfic is great for. We as fans can take a character like Paulina and give her more depth and love, just like we have the ability to not only criticize Sam, but also give her the character development she was denied. This is far more productive than bashing a fictional character for problematic decisions made by the creator and other writers.

But if there is one major issue surrounding the whole Sam debate, it is the almost laughable negligence that the phandom has for other characters in regards to their flaws. As Sam is the main female character, it would be safe to say this reflects a deeper issue in many fandoms when it comes to our treatment of female leads.

Sam is given the most time out of all the ladies of Danny Phantom. This makes her the easiest to measure up against the male leads like Danny and Tucker. Fans have this interesting tendency to hone in on Sam in particular when it comes to criticism, and many even resort to flat-out bashing her. Tucker and Danny also have their fair share of problematic behavior. Where is the outrage at the show making light of Danny spying on girls changing in the locker room (on several occasions I might add)? If anything, the fact that this is featured as a joke in the show only makes it worse. Even more hypocritical is the common idea that Sam is an awful friend because of her behavior in Phantom Planet after Danny gives up his powers. I have seldom seen anyone point out that Tucker had the same reaction as Sam, and yet he is not singled out like she is. Additionally, people love to write all about how inconsistent and OOC Phantom Planet is while simultaneously condemning Sam for behavior that contradicts the overwhelming amount of evidence that shows Sam is unrelenting in her support of Danny. Why is it that the Phandom habitually makes excuses for other characters while constantly ripping on Sam's character?

The worst and most glaring comparison is Sam and Vlad. The phandom loves to excuse Vlad’s behavior and sympathize with him. A lot of fanfiction and fanart centers on redemption for Vlad. Is it strange that the villain is seen as more sympathetic than Sam who is supposed to be a good guy? Yes, it really, really is. Here we have a character who is sleazy and manipulative. Once again touching on themes of sexism in fandom, many people ignore or even romanticize Vlad’s obsession and objectification of Maddie. Vlad is also explicitly portrayed as murderous and cruel. There’s so much material to discuss, his lust for Maddie, his hatred of Jack, his manipulation of Valerie, the fact that he purposely infected Sam and Tucker knowing that they could die, creating tons of defective clones and abandoning them to break down and die. And yet despite this there is this refusal to really address that Vlad’s behavior is repulsive and unredeemable because we are entertained by him. All the while people are going ballistic over a 14 year old girl who thinks she’s better than some other girls at her school. Really take a moment and reflect on why that is. Why is Sam judged more than Danny, more than Tucker, more than even Vlad? What has she actually done or said to be the “most problematic” character?

Once again, whether or not you like Sam is irrelevant. Personally I like Sam for the most part, though I acknowledge her faults. Yes, I think she has a lot of growing up to do. But I also think she is mistreated by the fandom. The debate needs to shift away from Sam and her status as “problematic” or not, and instead focus on the problematic way fans and creators alike characterize females while also simultaneously excusing or ignoring certain behaviors in male characters. We can continue to discuss why internalized misogyny in characters like Sam is harmful. But if we are being critical, we have to be able to justly discuss other harmful aspects of the show.

#danny phantom #sam manson #long post #nicktoons #sorry this has been bugging me