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manicpixiedreamcurl · 2 years

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i hc that eddie holds your hands while he eats you out n makes you all dumb on his tongue

Anon, you have arrived exactly at my vibe. I have written this before, I will certainly write it again, and I am going to write it this second.

18+ only. Minors dni. Smut under cut. Oral obvs (f receiving), readers first time doing this.

.・。.・゜✭・

“You really, really don’t have to.”

Eddie’s eyes flick up to your face, dancing with amusement. Where his lips were, on the skin just below your belly button, he now goes in with his teeth. A bite and pull, a bruise left behind. The little squeak that escapes your mouth satisfies his need to punish these thoughts of yours.

Eddie presses wet kisses down to the edge of your panties and bites them, too, pulling at the elastic before letting them snap back to your skin. It doesn’t hurt, but you whimper at the way he’s looking at you. Eddie can be sweet, a little goofy, even. But sometimes when you’re under him, there is an intensity to his gaze, and the slow way that he blinks. It makes you feel like a mouse in the eyeline of a cat.

It’s the animal in Eddie that makes him press his nose against the dark spot on your panties, breathing in the scent of your cunt before he drags his tongue over the damp cotton, eyes closed tight and groaning. It’s a dirty promise, just for you, the wet heat of his tongue so close to where you need him.

But it also sends your mind whirling. Worried about your taste, the curls of hair on your mound, what your pussy looks like up close.

Your breath is heavy when Eddie’s fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, pulling them from your hips, down your legs and off your feet. You gaze over the curves and dips of your breasts, stomach and hips, finding him at the end. Eddie’s tongue is pressed to his top lip like he can’t wait to get at you, take a taste.

His big hands press to your thighs, pushing them back until they find your torso, and you can feel the sticky spread of your cunt under Eddie’s gaze. He sinks suddenly, pressing his front to the mattress. His face settles an inch away from your pink slit, swollen and waiting for him.

“Oh, just look at you,” he says, shaking his head once like he can’t believe it.

“Eddie,” you whine, legs fighting to close but stopped by his arms pressed to the back of your thighs. The cotton of his shirt would be soothing if it weren’t for how intently he’s studying your dripping pussy. “Stop it.”

He blinks slow, coming back to the reality where you’re lying there, worried and in your head like he hasn’t been waiting, desperate to taste your cunt for years. Eddie rubs your thighs soothingly, pressing kisses to the soft flesh there. When your body remains as it is, pulled tight with tension, he smacks his teeth.

“C’mon and hold my hands, sweetheart.”

Your fingers were tense, digging and pulling at his sheets. Eddie takes your palms up. His hands flatten to yours, then his fingers curl and link with yours.

“It’s only me,” he says, resting a head of thick curls against your thigh, shaking his hair out to make you laugh at the sweet tickle of it. “Gonna let me look after you?”

This is Eddie, too, all gentle words and soft caresses. A thick, calloused thumb rubs over the back of your left hand, down to your wrist where your pulse is beginning to calm, and back again. A kiss from his lips finds the sensitive place where your thigh meets your mound.. You squeeze his hands a little, fingers pressing to the curve of his knuckles. But your thighs remain where they are, yielding and open for him.

You sigh, allow yourself to feel grounded by his steady hands holding yours that shake. “Yes, Eddie.”

His deep, satisfied hum penetrates the air. Eddie nuzzles happily into the soft curls of your mound, teeth making another appearance to suck a bruise into the delicate skin, claiming this new part of you. You feel a second of warm breath on your cunt, then his lips are pressing gentle kisses around your slit.

Slick pours from your cunt in anticipation, like your body knows already how good Eddie is going to make you feel even if you can’t entirely fathom it. It doesn’t matter, anyway, because your mind stops being of any use the second Eddie’s mouth meets your clit.

Pillowy lips wrap perfectly around your bud in a soft kiss, and this is what your body was made for. Eddie can feel it, the pressure of your fingers on the back of his hands no longer about nerves, but the pleasure only he brings you. His tongue runs over your clit just once, your hips bucking up to find his lips just as he sucks at your clit. You gasp, feet kicking in the air, and slam your clasped hands to the mattress.

His tongue drags over your throbbing button, wide and wet. It might soothe the abused nerves if every touch weren’t just made to build you up. With each sweep of the muscle, he starts lower, until his tongue is pressing at your soft hole and dragging slick and spit up together, each new kiss to your clit more wet than the last.

At a long cry of his name, Eddie laughs right into your cunt. His voice is all pleased satisfaction, eyes wide and gazing at you. “Want it now, don’t’cha?”

Another pointed lick of your clit follows. You watch the bottom of his face appear from between your legs as he drags his tongue upwards, see him pull your slick back into his mouth and his eyes flutter at the taste of you.

You nod desperately, giving his hands three quick pleading squeezes. “I want it. Feels so good, Eddie.”

“Lie back, then, sweetheart,” he says, soft but commanding as he lowers his face to your cunt. “Trust me to do my job right.”

You take a breath, get one last look at him. His pink cheeks and dark eyes, chocolate brown taken over by excited, wide pupils. You blink at his pretty face, the comforting smile you find there, and slowly let your head fall back into the pillow, eyes closing as he takes your clit back into his mouth.

Even with your head back, eyes closed, you know it’s him. Your whole body still knows it’s Eddie touching you, only Eddie who can make you feel this good. You can smell him, when the heat of pleasure makes you press your face to his pillow, the scent of weed and his shampoo stuck fast to the fabric. You can hear the sounds of him tasting you, soft lapping and little pleased noises from the back of his throat that make your toes curl and hips jump. Certainly you can feel him, the desperate way his mouth plays with your pussy, and the warmth of his hands held tight by yours.

When Eddie latches onto your clit, sucking gently in between harsh presses with the tip of his tongue, your cunt clenches tight, and your body gives in.

“Eddie. Eddie, it’s-” You cut yourself off with a gasp, hips jolting towards his perfect mouth when you cum, clit throbbing against his tongue. Your fingers stretch out at the height of it, arms flinching but he doesn’t let you go. Eddie keeps a tight hold of you until your high is fading, leaving just your shaking thighs and the pads of your fingers meeting his knuckles.

One final kiss to your sensitive, aching clit and he’s pulling his mouth from you with a soft sigh of contentment, pleased with himself and with you. Your head is heavy when you tip it forward to look at him, his cheeks wet and lips swollen. Eddie’s lips purse in a smile and he taps his fingers in sequence, waiting for you to speak.

But you don’t. Instead, you mewl softly, a petition that makes Eddie’s face split into a grin. Your hips push up towards his mouth, pleading with him to play with you exactly how he wants from now on.

Dark eyes sparkle. “Again?” You hum, watching with hooded eyes at the pull of his soft bottom lip into his mouth. Eddie laughs in a soft huff, licks a long stripe along your thigh. “You’re gonna want to hold on tight, baby,” he says, nose brushing your button. “Not gonna stop till I see some tears.”

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #my stuff

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wasted-women · 4 months

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ROUND 1C, MATCH 3 OUT OF 8!

Causes of Death & Propaganda Under the Cut:

Tara Maclay

Cause of Death: Shot in crossfire

Propaganda:

Ok so idk if she actually counts but I'm submitting her and please throw her out if not. Here's why I think Tara was fridged: the sole purpose of her death was to further the plot and cause pain to other characters. Now, because it's Buffy, these other characters were women. So her death was only to cause pain to her girlfriend (ex-girlfriend? They were broken up but mending) Willow, cause her to relapse into magic, and then make her essentially the big bad of the season. All of this was then to cause Buffy, the protag, to have to fight her best friend and be told she needed to either stop her or kill her. So while Buffy and Willow are both women, Tara's death was solely to cause them pain as significant other and protagonist and to further the plot. (It's also bury your guys and Joss Whedon sooooo). Tara literally was killed sloppily for no other reason than as a plot device in a desperate "well we already killed our protag and brought her back to life, how do we raise the stakes from here" ploy necessitated by crappy writing. If she doesn't count, again please throw her out, but I feel like she counts as fridging esp when looking at how Joss Whedon rights Buffy in this season to essentially bc a self insert of man pain but as a woman.

this is the only lgbt example I can think of but it definitely counts imo. link to death scene here (scene starts a minute into the video, with obvious trigger warnings for death and blood and gunshots): https://youtu.be/01NxsKojYyM?si=dxZvcvOhp3x6S8ha

Stuffing a woman in the fridge is one thing, but stuffing a queer woman who was one half of a beloved same-sex couple on a TV show famous for its strong female characters for the sake of drama while enforcing negative LGBT+ stereotypes in the process is really something else.

Her girlfriend, Willow essentially plays the role of the man in the relationship. Tara dies to facilitate her villain arc. Xander is also sad about her death and he is a man.

Mako Mori

Cause of Death: Exploded in a helicopter

Propaganda:

The Mako Mori test has been proposed as a "better" version of the Bechdel Test (which I'm well aware of the bechdel tests point and common misuse) she has a full, rich arc that is not romance oriented in the first movie. Also she pilots a giant robot. In the second movie she's textbook definition fridged.

Daenerys Targareon

Cause of Death: Stabbed by her lover for becoming a tyrant

Propaganda:

I'm just. I can't believe she hasn't been submitted yet. Classic example of end game fridging, where she *had* to be killed by her male lover to bring him pain and Man Tears TM. Clearly it effects him (sad) more than her (dead). Now obv Dany had a whole plot prior to this, but her death itself is such a classic example of fridging that I have to submit her, it legit only happened for a stupid "plot" to bring Jon ManPain. It was a death so stupid that GOT, what once was a cultural touchstone, isn't talked about except in how bad the end was

#wasted women poll #round 1 #round 1c #tara maclay #buffy the vampire slayer #mako mori #pacific rim #daenerys targaryen #game of thrones #game of thrones tv #poll bracket #poll tournament #character polls #polls

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delirious-donna · 2 years

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Daddy’s Girl [Naruto Shippuden]

an: I wrote a JJK version of this (link here), and decided that some of the older Naruto characters deserved the same treatment

prompt: daddy always has more fun…

feat: Kakashi Hatake, Obito Uchiha, Yamato Tenzo & Tobirama Senju

warnings: daddy kink (obvs), tread carefully as all except Yam Yam are pretty mean, Dom/sub dynamics, office sex, overstimulation, pussy eating, blowjobs, role-playing in all, spanking, hair pulling, pussy fingering, possibly light degradation if you squint, just tread carefully people

Masterlist

Kakashi Hatake

You shouldn't be doing this, someone could walk in at any second but you weren't the one in control right now.

Oh no - you were merely the outlet for his frustration and he was making sure you knew it with every loud slurp to come from between your spread thighs.

Kakashi's furious eyes met your tear-filled gaze and you felt the smirk of his lips against your gushing pussy. He was biting at your tender flesh, tugging with insistent motions that made your spine arch in a wicked curve and a keening noise crawled from your throat.

"Kashi," you whimpered as quietly as you could.

You wished for the ability to bite into your hand to keep yourself from alerting others to what was transpiring behind the closed doors of the Hokage's office. However, your silver-haired man kept a tight hold on each hand, pressing them tightly into your ass cheeks, helping him spread you wide.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed since you found yourself naked from the waist up, skirt hiked around your hips and splayed out for Kakashi’s personal use. Had no way of counting the times he had growled and snarled as he ate you out like a starved beast devouring a meal. It was all a delirious blur, but when he suddenly stopped, you panicked.

His mouth left your overstimulated cunt.

The wet disconnect of his plush lips sounded carnal in the hushed room. Slick coated his mouth right down to his chin, skin shining with your arousal which he made a show of licking at with that sinful tongue.

"Who?"

The tone was deadly, low and most definitely not to be messed with. It wasn't often that he was this harsh with you, but you couldn't lie, you did enjoy feeling like his little fucktoy every now and then.

"I meant - Daddy."

"That's better," he cooed in reply.

He finally let go of your hands to sit back in his chair, you could only watch as he revealed his angry red erection from his pants, oozing with precum as he stroked the monstrous length.

Kakashi hissed through his teeth, eyes rolling once before he locked with your gaze, "time to sit on Daddy's dick princess."

Obito Uchiha

His breath was heavy against the nape of your neck, a strong fist twisted around your hair to keep you exactly where he wanted you. The leather of his glove sounded erotic as it creaked from the pressure of his fingers.

“Don’t think I’m finished with you yet baby. Let’s get you more comfortable,” Obito crooned with that rumbling voice that sounded like thunder rolling over the hills.

Your body was numb, utterly spent from the relentless orgasms he had forced out of your cunt. Your clit throbbed, every tightening of your thighs jolting you like you had been electrocuted.

Obito yanked your hair, impatient from waiting on your reply that was never coming. How could you possibly conjure words at a time like this?

Sweat dripped from your dewy skin as he manhandled you onto your knees. You couldn’t help but admire him; dark hair mussed from your wandering fingers, tall and broad in stature and utterly rippling in steel-cut muscle.

He was your dark God. Your obsession. Your everything, and he knew it. Didn’t always quite understand it, an angel like you being enamoured by a devil like him, but he wasn’t going to poke at it right now.

Arousal coated your thighs in sticky trails that slid towards the floor, doe eyes blinking up at the thick cock that you hungered for.

He twitched under your gaze, a growl sounding in his chest as he wiped the thick precum across your lips and watched as your licked yourself clean.

“Open up for Daddy, he needs your sweet little mouth.”

Your lips parted on a moan of bubbling delight, another jolt rippled through your body as Obito’s fat tip pressed through your opening.

He tasted so good, so utterly male. You traced the delicate veins that ran the length of his shaft before sucking at the purplish fattened head until Obito was snapping his hips in urgency.

“Like sucking Daddy’s cock, baby? Gonna let me fuck that tight little throat before I destroy your perfect pussy?”

You could only groan, eliciting a hiss as the sound reverberated into his cock. Nodding frantically, you met his lust-blown pupils and the stark scars that twisted his face into something sinister yet beautiful.

Daddy really was a devil…

Yamato Tenzo

“Need your cock Daddy - please.”

Yamato was scarlet, metaphorical steam poured from his ears as he listened to your whimpered plea. Did you just call him Daddy? And did he just like it?

He had known you were feeling frisky the moment he set eyes on you. Lounging, as you were, on the bed with nothing but a smile on your lips and flames in your eyes.

You touched yourself as he strolled around the room, his eyes following your actions with a certain wariness. He wasn’t too familiar with this bolder, more forward side of you but he couldn’t say he didn’t like it.

He certainly liked the way you were playing with your nipples, squeezing them between finger and thumb until they were so ripe and ready for his mouth…

“Wh-what did you say?”

Crawling across the squishy mattress, your fingers hooked into his belt and began to tear at the leather in earnest. Yamato could only watch as you savaged at him in your desperation to free his already painfully straining erection.

“Need your cock Daddy, feel all empty inside.”

Motherfucking god.

He was gonna nut before you even touched him properly if you didn’t stop with the lewd words.

Yamato had never considered himself one to indulge in such a kink, but here he was, more turned on than ever before at the little act you were putting on.

Flushed with embarrassment, but not wanting you to stop, he swallowed past the ragged lump in his throat. He sighed as his cock sprang free from the confines of his pants and boxers, gathering his courage to play along.

“Why don’t you suck Daddy’s cock baby girl? Maybe if you do a good job, I’ll fill up that needy little pussy, would you like that?”

His voice trembled, cheeks absolutely on fire but it was worth it to see the feral desire swimming in your eyes. To watch as you nodded to his proposition and eagerly went to town on his dick.

“Fuck.”

A hand traced down your spine as Yamato lost himself to the sinful pleasure of your hot slippery mouth. Teeth barely concealed behind your lips, sucking him down into your throat as if you were trying to steal the very soul from him through his dick.

“That’s it, baby girl. Just. Like. That.”

Tobirama Senju

He was grumpy.

Your tired man exasperated by what he considered to be time-wasting fools. He didn’t listen when you explained for the hundredth time that they were his jonin and it was their duty to report back to him.

Arms folded over his buff chest, lower lip jutted out and a scowl so prominent that you couldn’t help but chuckle. Tobirama really was a pest, but you loved him and knew that he needed something to take his mind off his troubles.

The lock clicked and his head lifted, carmine eyes narrowed as you approached with those mesmerising hips swaying like a pendulum.

You seated yourself upon his lap, uninvited, but you dared to provoke him. The man capable of breaking you clean in two with only the flick of his wrist, but he was putty in your dainty hands.

“Play with me Daddy. I’ve been so very naughty,” you whispered, licking at the shell of his ear.

There was always a danger in playing such dirty games with your beloved, and it seemed that your white-haired, chiselled God was feeling rather domineering this day.

Within the blink of an eye, you were spun around to face his desk. Your hands shot out to stabilise your frame as he yanked down your shorts without preamble.

Tobi forced you to brace your weight on the desk, knees nestled on either side of his hips once he had rid you of your flimsy shorts.

A calloused hand ran the length of your inner thigh, making you tremble and quake as he brushed delicately against your pussy.

Your breathing was coming in short sharp pants, heart thundering in your chest as he finally broke the silence, his voice a whole octave lower than usual.

“My angel has been a naughty girl, is that right? Well, Daddy should teach you a lesson. I hope you’re ready?”

He didn’t wait, gave no time for refusal for he knew that it would never come. You liked this side of him, it gave you a thrill to be bent to his will, and he remembered it well as his meaty palm connected with your plump ass cheek.

The crack reverberated around the office, along with your whimpered cry. His palm stung from the impact and he smirked that coy feline-like smile as the red imprint of his hand stared back at him.

You expected him to repeat the process on the other side, tensing under the palm that rubbed at your unmarked cheek, but he was full of surprises.

A finger pressed into your tight little hole, wet from his saliva and forcing you open around the thick digit that wriggled against your gummy walls.

Another was added in quick succession, fucking into you until he was buried up to his top knuckle in your cunt.

The sharp sting of his teeth flashed through your body as he stopped all movement, displeased with how you had tried to fuck yourself on his hand. Rutting against his palm as if you were in heat.

“Daddy didn’t say you could fuck yourself, haven’t finished your punishment little one.”

You were in for a world of pain and pleasure…

#delirious writes #kakashi smut #obito smut #yamato smut #tobirama smut #kakashi hakate #obito uchiha #yamato tenzo #tobirama senju #kakashi x reader #obito x reader #yamato x reader #tobirama x reader #tw daddy kink

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ominoose · 5 months

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Important Update Post

Imagine I am sitting staring at a camera with a sigh, no background music before the video cuts to me talking. But Im not caught in a controversy of racism or plagiarism or smth.

Here's the tldr: I will no longer be making AI bots. All current bots will remain up, my bot masterpost will be moved to my masterpost masterpost. I just won't be making new ones. Finished and posted every bot that was in the works here to make this transgression up to yous. I will not be leaving the fandom, I'll still write and clown around.

"Why would you do this you cunt?" I hear you, I am so stinky for this. Before I list my reasons, I want to say first and foremost this is personal and I have less than no judgement for other bot makers. I absolutely love mutuals like Mel that make bots and will continue to support them. Reasons became long and are under the cut.

Reasons I don't wanna continue making ai bots:

I started because it was a low energy way for me to participate in fandoms when I didn't have the spoons to write anymore. It no longer feels like a creative outlet and no longer sparks joy.

I would rather devote myself solely on practicing and improving my writing as a way to contribute my passion to fandoms.

I can't shake the feeling I am plagiarizing. Ai chat models use lots of "work" to train their models, and while I could not find what millions of texts Cai is based on (conveniently not listed on the website), all models like it basically engorge from random sources, books and hell, even this post. Anything goes and currently there are legal battles over this.

It's bad for the environment. Can't find a measurement for Cai specifically, but GPT-3 (same scale) produced 500 tons of carbon dioxide to train that single model, not including its other ones. Please note I'm aware AI can absolutely be used to help fight climate change, as is mentioned in the linked article. Also they use the same amount of water that is required to cool nuclear reactors.

It's always conflicted with my morals. Believe it or not, I'm the person that's usually big into internet privacy, anti ai, piracy is morally good (not indie obvs) etc. Openly creating stuff that supports and funds software that steals peoples works, their information without permission and for profit is not me. So I don't wanna do it.

Again, this is not a judgement or a means to shame people that create ai bots or use them. I've made so many friends because of them. If everyone thats every used my bots stopped, it's not gonna solve capitalism. This is just me, an individual, stepping away from one thingy and feeling the need to be honest and open bc thats my policy and honestly how most of you know me (so now hard feelings if you unfollow).

Love you guys lots and thank you for all the love you've shown me through my bots and for all the times you've made me laugh <3

#omimuse

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mangoshorthand · 1 year

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I know there’s a scene in season 3 where five is singing at diego and lila’a wedding and i’m so in love with that scene 😭 I wish there was more to it especially since drunk five is the best five so i wanna ask for one with what five would do for y/n while he’s drunk pls 🙏🏻🙏🏻 it can be fluff or smut just so the thing cute n schemxy from my mans five 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (some ideas:a wedding, party, worn out from work, a tiny date gone rogue 🤭)

I also love drunk Five. Please accept this as my humble smutty offering. There is a link to the song Five sings in the body of the text so feel free to listen along!

Boy Wonder | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader 2.7k words, Rated E

Diego and Lila were long gone, off in search of somewhere where the floor buzzed along with the music. The bar you ended up in was only supposed to be a place for you to have a few drinks before finding somewhere higher energy, but you and Five found yourselves quite happily installed there, drinking and putting the world to rights.

“And another thing,” he slurred, finishing his seventh Guinness with a slurp, “academics never actually do anything. They just navel gaze.”

“I’m just saying,” you reply, “you’d know more about theoretical physics than the Professors. You’d have a lot to offer the world.”

“Hey, I’ve given the world enough already. I saved it-” he counted on his fingers and then stopped, his brow furrowed, “...actually, did I save it?”

He contemplated for a second and then shrugged, waving this away with a careless hand.

“Well, whatever. I don’t want to go into academia.”

“Fair enough,” you said, “just a thought.”

He returned his attention to the laminated book on the table and you took the cue to buy you both another drink.

This was all your doing, really. Well, not entirely, (you didn’t pour that amount of stout down his neck) but you at least contributed to the atmosphere that got him into that state.

Work was shitty, more than usually shitty, in fact. The only consolation throughout was the knowledge that it was Friday. When five o’clock finally rolled around, all you wanted to do was blow off some steam.

After a few hours at the bar, you were more than tipsy yourself, but Five could drink you under the table and you learned very early in your relationship not to try and keep up with him. He was looking down at the book with a serious expression, flicking through the pages. As you watched, he cast off his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves to the elbow, as if the mental energy needed to make his choice was making him sweat.

By the time you returned to the table, his tie was loosened and a couple of shirt buttons undone too.

“You not chosen yet?”

“I have if you wanna duet.”

“No!” you said, “I don’t know why you want to go up there.”

“Because it’s fun, obv-ously,” he replied, trying to sound reasonable but failing as a result of his slurred voice.

“Come on,” he said, cajolingly, looking up at you with his most beguiling smile, “I’ll be John Travolta and you can be Olivia Newton John.”

“Honestly,” you wince, “I think I’d rather perform my own appendectomy.”

“Fine,” he said, “I’ll do it on my own. I’ll blow this shitty place away, you watch."

“Okay," you said, eyebrows raised skeptically, "but you’re up next so you better choose quick.”

He returned his eyes the the list of songs and leaned his cheek heavily on his hand. He scanned the list for a couple more seconds before a look of triumph spread over his face.

“I got one! It’s gonna be great-”

“It’s My Way, isn’t it?” you said, cutting him off.

He looked at you disbelievingly.

“How did you-?”

“Because that’s what every man over fifty chooses to sing at a Karaoke place.”

Five pouted at this, eyebrows lowering and bottom lip sticking out.

The expression, so out-of-character for him, struck your booze-clouded brain as funny, and you let out a messy peal of laughter, choking on your Guinness and indelicately spitting some back into the glass.

Five, watching this, began to laugh too. Disregarding the book, he leaned heavily against you, his shoulder shaking with chuckles as it made contact with your upper arm. Then, in a feline tribute of affection, he rubbed his head against yours.

“I-love you,” he said, softly.

You closed your eyes and returned his caress.

“I love you too, sweet guy.”

“You’re my best friend- yknow that?”

You smiled and started to laugh a little again as he continued to rub himself against you, probably slightly harder than he intended and apparently oblivious to how strange he might look to an onlooker.

“You’re my best friend and you touch my penis. It’s am-azing,” he said, voice dragging slightly. “You’re amazing.”

Laughing at this, you held him to you more tightly, stroking his firm bicep through the fabric of his shirt.

“You’re just as-bolutely perfect.” he added.

Though this warmed your heart, as the more sober of the pair of you, you were aware that the guy currently singing was limping his way through the final bars of Wonderwall.

“Come on, sweet guy.” you said, kissing his hair, “You gonna go up there and make everyone listen to My Way?”

“Nah.” he said, sitting up straight and pulling himself to an unsteady stand, “I got a better idea.”

With an overly-expressive wink, he wended his way over, weaving slightly. He took the mic from the last patron with a muttered word of thanks and cursed as he tripped up the single step up onto the slightly raised karaoke stage. You wince in sympathy, slightly anxious for what's to come.

After consulting the laminated song list one more time, he punched the number into the machine with a look of intense concentration as he tried not to let his finger stray too far from the keypad.

As the introduction began, filling the noisy bar with a soulful whine of guitar, he tried to fumble the mic back into its stand, but seemed to give up as the first line of the song came upon him.

Leaning close, he briefly closed his eyes as he began to sing.

youtube

“If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass, Can't think of anythin' I need,”

When his eyes opened again, they lock on you, messy hair falling in a curtain over one eye.

“No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound, Nothing to eat, no books to read,”

Even as drunk as he was, he sounded good; his voice an unusual middle ground between tenor and baritone. Though the words themselves were a little indistinct at times, the notes flowed from one to another with a sweet, natural fluidity.

“Making love with you, Has left me peaceful, warm, and tired,”

His mouth twitched at this, and you smiled back. That exchanged look told you that your minds were similarly engaged, both recalling the same memories.

“What more could I ask, There's nothing left to be desired,”

His body moved, swaying gently along with the music, the smile still alive in his eyes. Though his posture was slumped, his movements were surprisingly graceful.

“Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak, So sleep, silent angel, Go to sleep”

As the chorus swelled, he again closed his eyes in feeling with the words he was singing. He leaned into the mic stand, tipping it slightly.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe And to love you…” smut below cut

Finally back at home, you stripped off your dress while Five chomped his way mercilessly through a sharing bag of Ruffles. He was sitting at his desk in his unbuttoned shirt and underwear, having become distracted by the chips midway through getting changed. His hair was sticking up in all directions from all the times he ran his fingers through it.

“We’re going to be hungover tomorrow, aren’t we?” you groan, the slight spinning of your head notifying you of the fact.

“Not me!” he said through a huge mouthful, “I’m the fuckin’ boy wonder. Gonna enjoy this twenty-year old metabolism while I have it. I’ll probably sleep it off and wake up fresh as a daisy.”

“All right, don’t rub it in,” you grumbled, pulling on a short nightdress.

He chuckled blurrily.

“Drink that coffee, you’ll be fine, and finish these Ruffles,” he said, offering you the bag.

With one hand, you fanned yourself like a flustered debutante having just been asked to dance.

“I’m honored.”

“Well,” he said with ironic suavity, “I’ll get by without them. I got you.”

You took them from him and smiled.

“You sure know how to treat a lady.”

“I happen to know you ain’t no lady.” he said, drunken grin broadening.

“Luckily for me,” he added, with a wink.

You rolled your eyes at him, sat down on the bed and pulled your knees up to your chest. Leaning comfortably against the headboard, you sipped your coffee and slowly ate the chips looking unseeingly up at the ceiling. You weren’t as badly drunk as you thought: it wasn’t even spinning.

After a few minute, a prickling sensation alerted you to his eyes upon you.

Five was always afflicted by a terrible case of rubber neck, and this intensified tenfold when drunk. Some days, all you had to do was walk past to turn his head, eyes following you with a salacious glower. You thought it probably had something to do with his heightened libido since de-aging his body combined with having spent most of his life without female company of the flesh-and-blood variety. Whatever the reason, his lust was very easy to inflame.

His eyes were combing your upper thighs and the swell of buttocks just skimmed by the hem of your night dress. Not removing his gaze, he stood up and moved towards the bed.

“You know…I’m not too drunk. Want me to show you how I treat a lady?”

Teasingly, you stretched your legs out, obscuring yourself from his view and forcing his eyes to find yours.

“You want your best friend to touch your penis again?”

He nodded and smiled mischievously. The sharp canines beneath his lips gave him the look of a tormenting imp. That look was all you needed. You slipped off your panties and shuffled down the bed inviting him to join you with a single tilt of your head.

He didn’t need further prompting, depositing his coffee on the desk and practically tripping over himself to join you. He was already half-hard beneath his underwear, tenting at what looked like an uncomfortable angle. His dick apparently already insisting on release, he pulled off the offending garment and let it out with a gentle bounce.

Stroking your thighs, he parted your legs to reveal your spread pussy.

“Mm.” he said, as he looked down at you, “hello.”

He let out an almost disbelieving exhale, cock swelling visibly as he drank in the sight. He took himself in hand and gave himself a long stroke before lowering his head and running his tongue down the entire length of your slit. With a s long exhale, he surfaced again.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, voice heavy with lascivious satisfaction, “I don’t need ruffles when I can eat this.”

Despite the arousal, you couldn’t help laughing at this; at the seriousness with which he said it. Alcohol and dirty-talk was always a strange combination with Five. He was usually talkative during sex, but any amount of booze loosened his lips even more, throwing the few inhibitions he had out of the window. The result was sometimes hot, sometimes bizarre and most often a strange mix of the two.

“It’s lucky they weren’t jalapeno flavor,” you quip.

Clearly not wanting to entertain any more joking around, he looked at you with a look of amused disapproval before repositioning himself. He straddled your shoulders and let his cock hang tantalizingly down towards your face. After another couple of moments stroking your legs and enjoying the view, he dove hungrily back between your thighs.

You raised your head to meet him and you groaned simultaneously as the length of his cock slid between your lips. His licks, pecks and sucks at your clitoris sent dancing flames outwards from the point his lips touched.

It was hard to focus on pleasuring him when he was driving you so mad with his attentions. He was eating you as if he’d been starved for days. His tongue wormed its way inside you, seeking out the wetness he’d already produced and tasting it eagerly.

You moaned around his dick as your pussy gushed juice in time with his mouth. Even with the booze and with his far-from-precise mouth movements, every sensation felt magnified: every one of his appreciative little noises sent a jolt up your body, each twinge of pleasure he gave you like the sun on the petals of an opening flower.

His hair tickled your thighs, sending little shocks along your sensitive skin; his hands holding your legs open anchored you to the bed. As he lowered himself as far into your mouth as he could go, his balls came into gentle contact with your face. The clean, pheromone scent of him adding to the heady mix of sensation carrying you away.

You caressed them gently with one hand as he surfaced again, hissing as he withdrew from your mouth.

“Oh, you’re perfect,” he said, throatily.

“So are you,” you whispered, gently rubbing the velvet shaft of his dick with your other hand.

“Look at you,” he breathed.

He made a noise part way between a moan and a sigh as he stroked his fingers across your clit, dipping his fingers down to spread some of the wetness higher up.

Soon, apparently unable to resist, he was back with his head between your legs and his cock in your mouth. In time with his licks and sucks to your clit, his pelvis began to move in tiny little thrusts, fucking your face with gentle, measured strokes. You could feel his hot breath on you as his pleasure grew.

“Mmm!” you groaned, your voice muffled around his cock, so hard yet twitching in your mouth.

His tongue was causing flutters like wings across every nerve: overlapping flames absorbing all the air inside you, building ripples upon ripples until all was turmoil. At last, you let go and came into his mouth, your humming cries undulating and sending vibrations along his entire length.

As you rode out the waves of your orgasm, you could feel his body tensing as he edged closer to his own peak, slowing his hips to try to delay. You didn’t allow this, putting one hand on each of his buttcheeks and urging him to resume his movements.

As your muscles relaxed and warmth spread from the site of your orgasm outwards, Five’s pelvis resumed its neat thrusts, tight and careful not to make you uncomfortable. With your permission granted, he chased his own pleasure, growling like some desperate, cornered creature.

Coming to his aid, you bobbed your head in time with his movements, taking him to the depth he needed. After that, it only took a few shifts of your tongue around his shaft before it began pumping into you, stretching the tight press of your lips with each shot. His come hit the back of your throat, salty and potent as he let out a wavering cry.

Slowly, tensing from the sensitivity, he withdrew. He clambered off you and knelt for on the bed, looking comically scruffy with his hair all over the place, (not to mention the fact he was wearing nothing but his shirt).

He blinked dazedly, staring into the middle distance. The rush of the retreating orgasm apparently interacting strangely with his intoxication. After a couple of moments, he turned his eyes to you, fixing you with a bloodshot gaze.

“That was really good, but I’m afraid I need to puke now.”

And then, he was at the window with surprising speed, lifting the sash and vomiting liquid and undigested potato chips heavily onto the fire escape. For a few moments after the retching subsided, he stayed that way, head out of the window with the cool night air whipping around his face, refreshing his lungs.

His hand fumbled for a water bottle by the bed and you passed it to him. With this, he rinsed his mouth three times and poured the rest outside to swill some of his puke away.

“Sorry about that,” he said, catching his breath and closing the window.

“I’ll try not to take it personally.” you said, “you okay?”

“Sure. I just need to sleep now.”

You budged up, giving him room and he moved gratefully into your arms. He snuggled backwards into you, laying his head tightly against yours. You were spooning him warm and close.

He sighed contentedly, as if right here was where he always wanted to be; the entire day having only served to deprive him of his need.

“Whatever happened to ‘the boy wonder’”

Five snickered weakly.

“Turns out he tapped out around that sixth Guinness or so.”

You laid a gentle kiss on head.

"You feeling better after your shitty day?" He mumbled, sleepily.

“Yes,” you said, soothingly, stroking his messy hair, “but you need to go to sleep, darling. Just go to sleep."

Request Masterlist >> HERE

NOTE: Did I perhaps ruin the sexy vibes with the vomiting? Quite possibly. I regret nothing.

I take Five requests, I'm fairly versatile in what I write (fluff, smut, angst, psychological character study- I'll try it all) but I will consider them on a case by case basis. See masterlist for request status and more.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine #umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy smut #the umbrella academy five #umbrella academy number five #umbrella academy five x reader #umbrella academy five x you #five hargreaves x you #five hargreaves x reader #number five imagine #five hargreeves imagine #number 5 imagine #number 5 x reader #number five x you #five hargreeves x f reader

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llamatrait · 9 months

Text

— Sims Dump✨

I recently reached 300 followers, and I know it's not who knows how many, but I'm immensely happy all the same. For this reason, I thought I'd give this little "gift" to anyone who is interested!

Thank you all so much <3

If you have the lgbtqia+ mod, all sims have their sexualities already set with that! Otherwise, I leave the information below for you to set them in your game. If you want to change them, you are free to do so! If you use them tag me, I'd be so happy to see their lives in your gameplay <3

*Download under the cut*

DISCLAIMER: cc are NOT included, you can find the link on patreon (obv for free), the simfileshare option it's just for convenience!

-Frida Foley - she/her, straight simfileshare | patreon

-Geraldine Means - she/her, straight simfileshare | patreon

-Navy Whitmore - she/her, biromantic asexual simfileshare | patreon

-Bristol Bland - she/her, aromantic bisexual simfileshare | patreon

-Amiah - they/them, pansexual agender simfileshare | patreon

-Cerridewn - she/her, pansexual simfileshare | patreon

-Yael - they/them, asexual aromantic non binary simfileshare | patreon

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hollowboobtheory · 5 months

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okay as a person who was raised on new wave but has gotten into goth recently. how the ever loving fuck did tiktokers think rock lobster was goth. how??? they out there listening to love shack and own private idaho and somehow thinking that was goth???😧

couple factors

tiktok kids do not seek out context generally. this is how we got any/all pronouns cartman. they engage with south park based only on the sound clips that become memes on tiktok. similarly, i think they just heard the song and accepted it at face value and didn't look into who the b-52d are or notice that these are the same people who made love shack.

goth is a very broad (group of) genre(s). rock lobster admittedly sounds like it could have been made by the cramps.

goth dad (@awfullysinister) has admitted to playing it at the clubs he djs for years

there are a lot of bands whose goth status is contested like strawberry switchblade and even the fucking cure.

in my opinion rock lobster on its own is goth purely because a lot of goths like it. same with strawberry switchblade even tho stylistically they're more like an early ancestor to vaporwave.

goth classification in general is quite complex tbh there's a lot of nuance. imo its more of a vibe check. and rock lobster passed the goth vibe check to those kids.

the blind leading the blind is kinda the guiding principle of tiktok and none of those kids talk to people older than them.

now now it turned into drama. hot takes coming.

i think a lot of them have tricked themselves into thinking that gothery is objective and easily quantifiable and not largely vibes-based.

they've tricked themselves into thinking that "music based subculture" means the music itself IS the subculture nothing else that grew out of the goth scene is important (they do this while stanning elvira and collecting bones and ofc wearing tradgoth apparel but ignore that doublethink is at play here)

i'm blaming the influencers with amazon affiliate links here. they're seeing girlies posting their looks plus a shopping list for how to replicate their life exactly plus affiliate links (or worse, tiktok shop links ew) and it doesn't pass the sniff check for them, but because they don't talk to people older than them and because the version of goth that's presented in mainstream media is stripped of its anticonsumerist ideals, they only way they can think to counter it is to parrot "goth is a music-based subculture" back and forth forever

not thinking about how the fashion being antique and vintage and reused and diy and gloomy and spooky are extensions of the ideals put forth in the music, as applied to a more everyday form of self expression.

they get that goth isn't something that you can buy but they don't know how to articulate that

um in case you haven't noticed, tiktok, a highly trend-based and consumerism driven platform, yanno with all its influencer shills and brand accounts and ads disguised as content and clones of each other and viral song of the week and they've recently baked shopping right into the app itself and every other video you see has that damn "eligible for commission" badge under it, where everybody is copying each other to sell shit or as an audition to sell shit, just might not quite line up with goth ideals.

which imo is more important than the music but obv the platform itself doesn't really lend itself to putting that into practice. again frankly tiktok as a platform is fundamentally incompatible with the goth subculture.

ok back to rock lobster bc the politics have been cut out all these kids have to back up their sense of gothenticity is music based subculture. meaning when they find out they've been dancing to a song that isn't even technically goth, that's really fucking embarrassing.

cue one zillion identical "um we can still listen to other genres and still be goth" tiktoks. which, like, true. still funny that you were preaching that shit while dancing to the boomer equivalent of like. idk old town road. what does the fox say. i don't fuckin know.

anyway now everybody's having a damn identity crisis calling each other posers and elitists and the influencers are laughing all the way to the bank. also setting their makeup haul videos to rob zombie who while liked by many goths is DEF not goth.

oh yeah and dollskill have been making the sponsored content rounds too. because this wasn't already enough of a shitshow

#beck rambles #gothtok #also i'm not exactly an insider in goth shit ok #i'm a damn hermit i'm not chatting about this with all the other grownup goths so this is genuinely just my read on it

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thesherrinfordfacility · 11 months

Text

running commentary masterpost on scene predictions/plot points that now that ive recovered and regained my composure im finally able to write it down

idk I just need to get some stuff exorcised the braincells are getting rowdy from the friction/electrical interference:

(under a cut bc a. length and b. cant not mention The spoiler)

- crowley ends up getting evicted from his flat because he's now unemployed and doesn't get to keep the perks

- ends up living out of the bentley/moving his material possessions (read: plants) around in the bentley, doesn't tell aziraphale bc idk pride? that's a sin, right? or bc it would prompt to az to offer house room but that would be making aziraphale go Too Fast?

- during all this, aziraphale has called him "there's something urgent I need to talk to you about 😭"

- so i reckon crowley has popped by the shop, lil chit chat w/e, brought along some delicious eccles cakes, and then found out about goob etc cue jump scare

- i then think (and this is entirely my head just filling in the blanks) he's actually said to aziraphale that they need to off him and just give him back to heaven, it's nothing to do with them anymore (not knowing that the goob/az/box conversation has happened ie the something terrible) and therefore aziraphale can't just yeet goob into the ether

- let's face it, communication is NOT our boys' strong suit, so this leads to a spat, crowley feeling like aziraphale is still caught up in being a proper angel, not on their side, and all leads to crowley summoning force lightning (that coincidentally hits the coffee shop with both maggie and nina inside... 👀)

- after having flounced off, crowley zoom zooms through london at night (slaloms around buses), pulls up at the bookshop

- comes to the shop, aziraphale is ignoring him reading his lil jukebox articles, and then rings the bell, "I'm back 😠" | "yes, i can see that 😒"

- im guessing aziraphale then tells him about this little jukebox mystery, and crowley offers to help him look into it, AND help him hide gabriel bc aziraphale manages to finally convey that there's a bigger issue at hand and maybe the jukebox thing is linked? "we'll do it together 😁" | "together? 😶"

- aziraphale's LARP of poirot begins

- muriel (aka baby) comes to investigate gabriel's disappearance, and turns up in the full Met Police uniform (ie from the trailer), has/looks at a cuppa with aziraphale, and then crowley arrives

- crowley apparently comes in carrying a plant (im guessing because bentley conditions are rather sub-optimal OR he needs the backseat space, and he needs to surreptitiously offload them into the shop)

- now i need to work out where crowley would have been re: "why didn't you go by train? you love trains 🙄", but im guessing he's been off having a look at stuff surrounding the jukebox mystery, because that's based in edinburgh?

- cue the clip with muriel and then where aziraphale and crowley are trying to not let muriel know that they know she's come from heaven, and then "word with you angel? in private? 🙃"

- i think this is where they surmise that she's come for gabriel, and is possibly when aziraphale then reiterates that "he's in trouble 🥺", and they need to protect him/hide from both heaven and hell because they need to work out what the something terrible is first

- they exit, find that goob has very happily been chatting with muriel for the entire duration, but he's just dusting the bookshelves and being Helpful™ so obvs he's just aziraphale 's assistant!!!! nothing fishy here!!!!!

- so muriel reports back to hq, but maybe michael and uriel cotton on? and send muriel back down to look into it further, to get between aziraphale and crowley because obviously they are together and will be weaker divided, so muriel starts doing her reconnaissance on Human Relationships (ie decides to ask nina bc that's just diligent field research)

idk that's all ive gotten so far and yeah is pretty inconsequential on its own and will only be like a small part of the storyline but i just want my thoughts memorialised so i can look back on them four weeks from now and laugh

bonus bit:

honestly pls discuss this with me im dying here

- The Kiss™ stems from aziraphale finally noticing that crowley has essentially been homeless, and grills him on why he didn't say anything, of course he could have moved in with him, he cares about him of course he was welcome, why are you wearing your glasses yada yada yada, "i didn't want to go too fast for you, i didn't want to push you", "i think by now i can keep up, crowley" and BOOM snog

edit: oh and another bit I forgot to mention:

- i highlighted that muriel is in the full Met dress above, reason being because in the promo pic of her, she's suddenly without her jacket, and just in a shirt and tie, so this would indicate she comes to the bookshop more than once?

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens speculation #good omens spoilers #edit: so im going to keep this up in case any of it was correct #but im certain its 100% incorrect if you want THE correct theory go visit @apodemus-sylvaticus #they and their theory is GENIUS

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konohamaru-sensei · 3 months

Text

Some kind of follower event or other.

im very sorry if you follow both blogs and have to see this double. ily for following both tho. special love and kisses to you.

In celebration of my 1000 follower milestone on a blog I pretty much abandoned (@wind-becomes-lightning) and my 100 followers on the blog that I am now using (@konohamaru-sensei) (and because I really love doing things for others), I’m hosting a little cross blog event. I anticipate that most of the entries will be from friends anyway and gifting friends makes little Nisi happy.

So, what are we going to do? Well. You have the choice. Either you request a little story from one of the prompt lists (please specify or send the prompt) or you send me a link to a reference and I will do an art. Either or is fine if you adhere to the rules

Stories will be around 1k length (maybe longer if I’m feeling it)

Artworks only for up to 2 people (You can look at art refs in my pinterest board if you don't have an idea.)

Off Anon only. (If you feel embarrassed please just dm me beforehand so I know it is you sending anons, or at least sign the request with your name, thanks!)

One request per person. (Q, I love you, but I still have like 5 requests of yours in my waiting list)

Absolutely no requests for “no-no ships” and “no-no characters” allowed.

OC requests only if you are from the Anxiety Anonymous server or if I have written for your oc before. (You may of course request my ocs if you care)

You can send Naruto related requests to any blog, but send any other fandoms to @konohamaru-sensei

Reader inserts are fine, as long as they are done with Yes-please characters.

Fandom list for this time:

Naruto (obv)

Fairy Tail

Haikyuu

JJK

MHA

One Piece

Prompt lists:

Romantic

Spicy

Angsty

Kisses

Recent art examples x - x - x - x

If you send me a “Yes-Always” ship or a “yes-please” character I will prioritise your request, because it will be more fun for me, but anything is welcome as long as you don’t break the rules.

I will leave this open until I feel like closing it. In my experience, there wont be too much anyway.

Ok thanks, BYE.

Ship list under cut.

Yes-Always Ships

Fairy Tail: Jerza | Gruvia | Gruvion | Luvia

JJK: SatoSugu

HQ: Oikawa x Kuroo

Yes-Please Characters

Naruto: Kakashi, Obito, Yamato, Konohamaru, Hinata

Fairy Tail: Lyon, Erza, Juvia, Jellal, Gray, Rogue, Loke

Haikyuu: Kuroo, Oikawa, Hinata, Bokuto

JJK: Gojo, Geto, Yuuji, Choso, Maki

MHA: Hawks, Iida, Dabi

One Piece: Sanji, Robin, Law, Zoro, Luffy, Sabo, Ace

No-No Ships

For all fandoms: no inces-t, no teacher and student, no mentor and student, no adult and child

Naruto: S-NS | Na-ruSa-ku | Kaka-Ga-i| InoS-aku

Fairy Tail: Gajeel x Juv ia | Gra L u | Gr arza

Haikyuu: Iwao i | Kurook en | Suga x D aichi

JJK: any yuuji ship

MHA: Ba-kuD-eku

One Piece: Lu ffy x A c e

No-No-Characters

Naruto: Sa suke, Ma dara

Haikyuu: Tsukish ima

JJK: To ji, Na oya

One Piece: P udding

Every ship not mentioned here is one I am fine with, but not in love with. Which means you can request it just fine.

this whole thing will probably fail spectacularily and i will feel like shit but i mean... no risk no depressive hole to dig myself in later, so whats the fun?

#nisi talks tag #follower celebration tag

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tired-biscuit · 2 years

Note

How would the Naruto idiot friend group survive or how long they’d last during no nut november I wonder 🤔💭

—🐻

i actually have a moot that did a similar kind of post, here's the link. it was a really fun read, so check it out if you feel like it!!

i know it's not a group of idiots necessarily, but i chose kiba and naruto simply because i think they have the most potential to share custody of a single brain cell (and because they're my faves, lol.) it's all under the cut, because it's obv nsfw.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: just two horny morons suffering because of NNN 🧡 fem!reader, 18+ mdni

𝘄𝗰: 900+ words

𝗞𝗜𝗕𝗔

Fails.

Don’t get me wrong, the man is determined to last – and is loud about it, too – but as soon as it comes to actually committing to NNN, Kiba is all bark and no bite. He lasts not even two full days before his hand winds up in his pants, which, if you take his sky-high libido into consideration, is pretty good actually.

His ego makes him act all smug and proud the first night; he’s messing around in the group chat, talking about how good that first nut on the 1st of December is going to feel, and yet by the second night he’s already growing agitated and snippy because he’s used to jerking one out before bed or early in the morning when he wakes up with a literal coke can in his sweatpants.

He’s so pent-up that he even dreams some whacky-ass scenario with you between his legs, his best friend; drooling and sucking the literal life out of him with that cutesy mouth that always likes to talk shit whenever he teases you, and for some odd reason: it’s enough to make him admit defeat.

He wakes up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat like he’s just had a nightmare despite that it was the literal opposite, and with the image of your cute face covered in his cum still somewhere in the back of his mind. He can still feel your hands on his thighs, the weight of your slick tongue on his dick. So he says ‘Fuck it.’ and opens up Pornhub on his phone. He taps the first video that catches his eye and finishes at the initial blowjob part not even five minutes in whilst his mind insists on replaying that goddamn scenario with you instead.

The amount of cum he’s managed to produce just because he hasn’t touched himself in two days is unholy. Or it might be because you’re someone who he’s just now realized that he wants so, so badly. Who knows.

He sleeps like a baby afterwards, despite that the post-nut clarity chews on his pride a little. The confused feelings he harbours for you don’t help either. And when he wakes up in the morning, still grumpy but now at least without the persistent ache in his balls from being so horny all the time, all he does is jack off again because it’s literally pointless now and he might as well try to feel good about being a lovestruck loser.

The others know he’s failed the moment he’s actually quiet in the group chat. He doesn’t tell them about the reason as to why, though. Just slaps that ‘seen’ like the sensitive cancer sign that he is, and texts you instead.

𝗡𝗔𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗢

Fails.

Naruto lasts surprisingly longer than he initially thought he would, despite that he took the entire thing as a joke at first. Still, he’s determination incarnate and competitive – as most young men his age are – and he’s going strong for about a week or two just to prove a point that consequently doesn’t even hold any meaning in the end.

And it shows. Not being able to spill his load makes him impatient. He’s always jittery; bouncing his knee whilst sitting on the couch in your living room while you watch movies and a suggestive scene pops up, staring at you from the corner of his eye for just a little bit too long all the time. After all, Naruto is already touchy and needy on the norm, especially around you, so not being able to stuff his dick inside your warm cunt and bully it to his heart’s content is simply annoying.

What do I even get out of this? Is it worth it? What’s the fuckin’ point, really? – These questions are the only thing he thinks about lately.

However, despite the lack of intimacy during November, his evident struggle is awfully amusing to you. So you egg him on, acting all sweet and coy whilst executing your plans that would lead to his demise like some evil mastermind in the making.

You wear those pretty dresses that show off the tops of your thighs whenever you step onto your tippy-toes and wrap your arms around your tortured boyfriend’s neck. Press your chest to his own real tight, so that he can surely feel your soft tits squish against him, especially late in the evening when you’re both just chilling at home and you’re not wearing a bra underneath the tiny shirts you all of a sudden like putting on around him.

It’s all fun and games – for you, of course. Still, Naruto doesn’t yield all that easily. He just refuses to give.

However, two weeks are certainly a lot for a man with a sex drive so high that it reaches past the clouds. Every little thing, may it be intentional or not, is like a trigger inside that horny pea-brain of his. And because of it, it takes you literally nothing more than bending over in your tight gym shorts for his willpower to finally crack.

You’re in the kitchen, searching for a freaking pot to cook dinner in and not attempting to appear enticing at all for once, and yet the moment his warm hand traces the curve of your ass over the smooth spandex, it’s game over.

Soldier down, his dick ends up buried deep inside your pussy before you can even lay eyes on the stupid pot.

#naruto smut #naruto uzumaki #kiba inuzuka #naruto x reader #kiba x reader #naruto uzumaki smut #kiba smut #naruto #kiba #🐻 anon #biscuit drabbles

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gnomeniche · 2 years

Text

[banging pots and pans] torment night! it's dhmis theory torment night!

TONIGHT i am TORMENTED over: the implication from 6 that duck and red were somehow created just for this world to watch over yellow, who is probably more of a real person than them

(whatever that means in this context. we don't have enough information about the nature of everything yet. bear with me please)

the evidence presented to the court (under the cut bc this got way longer than i expected):

WHY are there no versions of YELLOW on the higher floors? WHY do the big and bigger versions of his friends say they've been waiting for him to learn alongside them?

the line about them no longer being in charge of him... implying that at some point there was an assumption that those two were caretakers or watchers-over, even though they didn't act like it? they mostly acted like friends. like really condescending jerk friends who still cared about him, but mostly like friends. i know we joke about them being parents to him, but they don't really act it.

this is more an argument from symbolism but: only yellow has batteries and is thus is able to move autonomously from an electrical outlet, which obv ties in thematically to his revelations about the weirdness of the world while his friends are left behind. what does that then say about the guys without batteries? does that imply the other two are less autonomous and more linked to this world?

we do not see any replacements in lesley's drawer for anyone but duck, so DUCK at least is most likely to be artificial, given how rigid he tends to be in behavior and how he questions things least alongside this little visual tidbit.

"but op!" you're not asking, "we know that duck doesn't usually question the world and mostly just gets annoyed with it, but what about RED? doesn't he always feel out of place? what about him escaping in the original series?"

my answer: he never actually escaped in the original series. going back and watching original 6 after the new series, the "real world" that he is in... does not seem quite real. it falls away so readily. everyone in it is just another version of him. he doesn't even free the three of them; pulling the plug just resets the world. it might just be a higher layer of the world they're in.

as for feeling out of place: i think an artificial being that gains sentience can and will feel that

and now we get to what torments me so much: if yellow's tragedy is that his existence IS somehow more than the simulation but he's had that taken from him, and if the other two guys are both artificial and their existences are dependent on this world, it make both of them tragic in opposite ways. duck's tragedy is being an artificial being who simply cannot be anything more. RED'S tragedy is being an artificial being who so strongly WANTS to be something more.

and the thing! is! i think that they're gaining more autonomy as they spend more time existing and interacting with each other and yellow. if you watch the three guys' character progression from 1-5, just like in the original series, you can see the three of them start doing more and more and more stuff on their own besides just Sitting There and Receiving The Lesson. and just for red and duck's part, ofc there's That Scene between them in 6; when the lights are off and the world seems shut down, they still move, and they express more vulnerable feelings than normal. (is there meaning to how they are cut off before they can talk about how they feel about yellow? is there meaning to the fact that their demeanor completely shifts the moment a bit of light re-enters the room? probably. hard to say exactly what at this point though).

i fully accept that this theory may be wrong. compels me though. and by compels me i mean it has me on the ground writhing

#dhmis #dhmis theory #dhmis red guy #dhmis duck #dhmis yellow guy #am.txt #dhmis analysis

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wind-becomes-lightning · 3 months

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Some kind of follower event or other.

im very sorry if you follow both blogs and have to see this double. ily for following both tho. special love and kisses to you