#the poor kid helping me at the store was like lady wtf is going on with you

[amarrymeinbostonwriter]

Not me having a mild panic attack at the grocery store when I realize how fucking expensive life is. 

Not me also heavily fantasying about hot fictional and/or historical women. The. whole. damn. day. 

Not me also stuffing fried chicken in my face. 

Definitely not me saving about fifty articles about Radclyffe Hall for later browsing completely unrelated to my grad research (or is it???)

#a box of rice crispies should NOT be 7 dollars #the poor kid helping me at the store was like lady wtf is going on with you #I put back like a third of my groceries...that's not a fun feeling let me tell you #leaves pretty brain shitty never ended #girl help #The functioning on your local bipolar person may vary please #it has not been my semester lol #my professor must be so confused #she thought I was so smart when I turned in my thesis but then realized I'm only good at writing papers sometimes #and even then not always #boy howdy is it not fun when your brain decides to betray you #she was like wow you know who Radclyffe Hall is #yes I am gay professor #I swear I am the most clown town person in that class ugh #I want to be an academic but wow my brain needs to calm down #actually bipolar #unhinged gay grad student confessions #at least I get to see my friend tomorrow #and maybe I can catch up on my owed work tonight if I log off tumblr soon :/ #and I have more ideas for memes...you already know where this is probably going to go #and I apologize in advance #my chatter

[soldier-poet-king]

I love my Nonna dearly but I also just got my first real "here's how you should find a man" advice so truly 2023 IS my Charlotte Lucas year

To be fair, I'll give them credit, this is one of the first times my family has pulled this shit on me. I suppose my "I'm too busy focusing on school" excuse that I used through all 8 years of undergrad and grad school doesn't really work now that I've been working full-time for a year. And she also didn't bring it up in front of everyone or out of the blue, it came up because we had been discussing how insane my motherhas been about babies lately and my Nonna said "oh it's BC she's waiting for grandkids"

And like??? Just because my mother got married and had kids by my age (which may have been the right decision for her, this isn't judging even if I think her life went to shit bc of it) doesn't mean it's the right decision for ME

In fact, it is the ABSOLUTE WRONG decision for me. Theres a whole long list of reasons why I'm not getting married + or having children, including but not limited to: the trauma of my parents marriage and my childhood, my own ongoing health stuff, the whole religious queer anxiety guilt complex I've got going, the fact that if I were to get pregnant the resulting mental health crisis and dysphoria would undoubtedly make me *** y'know not soemthing that is frequently a source of nightmares for me or anything, my inability to take care of myself let alone CHILDREN, and the anxiety of raising children religious when I don't even know wtf is going on with me, CHILDREN??? IN THIS ECONOMY????

Ofc I can't exactly say any of this to my Nonna who, while incredibly sweet and loving and Good, is also like. Not at all exposed to these concepts and would probably freak out if I was like hello yes I am a big fat queer and I rlly hate the concept of gender and societal ideas of womanhood :) it also doesn't help that rlly the only single, middle aged woman my Nonna knows is this lady who works at the church who is DEFINITELY a badly closeted lesbian but also she's super fuckin mean and condescending and no one likes her BC she's a bitch, on top of the whole being a badly closeted lesbian in a conservative heteronormative religious environment

Like even IF I were to get licitly Catholic married to a man. You wanna find one for me??? My Nonna was like "go to church more to find a man" HELLO??? WHERE??I GO TO MASS EVERY WEEK?? Every religious man I know irl is a radtrad women can't wear pants type or is a manchild. Even if I COULD find a normal man, he'd have to get real cool about some stuff real quick. In that forever dilemma of too leftist queer for the religious and too religious for the leftist queers. (Obvs your partner doesn't have to be your duplicate but I'm like. Generally being on the same page. The same BALLPARK. is probably conducive to having a healthy relationship, y'know?)

Besides a significant part of my having 0 social life is because I am living in my parents basement which is in a shitty not-a-suburb of mostly immigrant families with youngish kids or super old folks from when the neighborhood was built, so it's poor and run down but also super fuckin far from anything To Do, so it's the WORST of both worlds of urban sprawl. And I have no car. And I already spend 2.5 hrs a day commuting for work. And I'm chronically tired. And joining a fencing club or taking art class or whatever costs MONEY y'know the thing I'm trying to SAVE by living in this hell place???? She literally said in the same convo "live here as long as possible to save money" like??? YOU CANT HAVE UR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO as long as I'm living here I'm NOT going out and meeting ppl BC there is literally Nowhere To Go. Big box stores like Walmart? Yet another strip mall? The highway??? THIS IS SOULLESS HELL of neither nature NOR accessible city amenities

And anyway, I would rather be in a long term marriage for tax benefits relationship anyway. Not platonic, not romantic, but a secret third thing (jk but also serious). Like. Mutual devotion that blurs the lines and transcends labels. It could be completely chaste. It could not be. It's not a dealbreaker really. It's about trust and devotion and companionship and love. But also I'm insane and I KNOW how insane and obsessive I sound, and society prioritizes nuclear family relationships and not the weird ass shit I crave, and I feel too much too fast and would ruin any relationship I had even if I WERE to somehow find someone who prioritizes those things too

So like. It's fine. Most days (not all ofc, but I'm trying) I'm okay with this and being on my own and learning to cultivate my own peace and Goodness and I know who I am and what I believe and what I trust to be Good and I'm working toward that and I'm not sacrificing it for anything. But also. Can you give a bitch a break. Please. I'm so fkin tired

#franposting #my bday isnt even til JUNE #im going to bitch anyway #im genuinely really upset but part of that is bc my headache has come back #and its worse than ever #i might cry but my head already hurts too much #i got really good news at work and only the men in my family made a big deal #the women were just. meh. and ofc none of them have careers so why should ot be important to me? #as the only granddaughter ofc :)))) #i am going. to crawl into bed. hair washed. lavender candle on. #do a lil meal planning. and then read or maybe just sleep. #tmrws goals after church are gym and grocery shopping before dnd #have to make my body hurt so much i cant think again #ofc bro 1 has claimed the car. so maybe i cant go #god. gos. i fuckin need to get out of here #but i literally cannot afford even studio apt rent in the city #and moving to one of the boroughs doesnt gwt me any closer to anything esp without a car #literally. just like. fuckin kill me #or find me a decently paid not soul killing job in a smaller city or even a town #where i could have a garden #or a porch swing. sit in. the sunlight

[bitchybutcher]

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

-        Gird your loins

-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO

-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

-        Aw Kimiko is learning

-        Her lil smile

-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

-        Oh nooooo young love angst

-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested

-        A nice archer bailed him out

-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

-        Oh fuck he is

-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice

-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

-        OH FUCK

-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck

-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

-        WHAT

-        What the fuuuuuck

-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

-        Oh shit smuggled people

-        Homelander is nuts with power

-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

-        Stormfront seems like fun

-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

-        I like Stan

-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

-        “Daddy’s home”

-        I’m dead. It’s official.

-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

-        Is he making shroom tea

-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good

-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

-        Homelander is a terrible father

-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store

-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

-        Oh shiiiiiiiit

-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

-        You were right this season is weird

-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

-        The kid’s a dandelion omg

-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

-        He’s completely insane

-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

-        Or possibly laughing

-        Hard to tell when they have no face

-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

-        Oop there’s the laser eyes

-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

-        Hughie don’t do it

-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

-        He’s hopeless

-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

-        OH FUCK A WHALE

-        For fuck sake Kevin

-        Ewwwww

-        Butcher what the fuck

-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

-        OH NO

-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

-        OH FUCK

-        ANNIE WHY

-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

-        Poor Kimiko

-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs

-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis

-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

-        I feel so bad for Annie

-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired

-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

-        Vending machine date so cute

-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

-        I feel bad for Butcher

-        Homelander is a scary good liar

-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

-        OH FUCK

-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE

-        Poor Maeve what the fuck

-        Ugh Stormfront

-        Shut your racist hole bitch

-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

-        Stormfront is like 70????

-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird

-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT

-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

-        Also this most recent one is super weird

-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

-        ….

-        WHAT THE SHIT

-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up

-        This is super weird

-        Why is Homelander crying

-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

-        “Strong female lesbians”

-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

-        I feel bad for Ashley

-        She just wants to do her job well

-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

-        Oh no what’s he gonna do

-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

-        Aww he called Hughie his canary

-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED

-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

-        Doggiiiiie

-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

-        This is so cringe holy fuck

-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

-        Why is there a sniper on the roof

-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir

-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

-        Oh hey it’s dickless

-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating

-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

-        He needs a hug

-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please

-        Why is Kimiko in a church

-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

-        Stormfront again?????

-        Does this bitch ever fuck off

-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

-        OH FUCK

-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected

-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

-        I adore grumpy Butcher

-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

-        Oop Lenny is dead

-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

-        YES MM

-        OH NO MM

-        YES HUGHIE

-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

-        Shiiiit shit shit shit

-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie

-        Oh good they all survived

-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

-        What the fuck is Sage Grove

-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again

-        Uhhhhhhh

-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

-        Ohhh the chip

-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip

-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

-        Well that’s suitably gross

-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

-        Butcher is so menacing I love him

-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle

-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital

-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

-        Oh shit who got let out

-        What does Cindy do

-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

-        Good job, guys

-        Ewwwwww acid vomit

-        OH NO HUGHIE

-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

-        Aha Butcher agrees with me

-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

-        Atrain get outta there

-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole

-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times

-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy

-        Oh shit a baby seat

-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

-        I hate Annie’s mom so much

-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂

-        Oh shit his dad died

-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

-        Oh boy a racist rally

-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

-        Oh shit it’s Denethor

-        And he’s not dead

-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

-        Shit Lenny shot himself

-        Butcher was SAS???

-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

-        Is this a cult birthday party?

-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

-        Good for him

-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

-        Poor Hughie

-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

-        YAY MAEVE

-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still

-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

-        Hughie and Annie are too cute

-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

-        Butcher in his lil jumper

-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

-        And typical

-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

-        She’s not wrong

-        Oh fuck off Becca

-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that

-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown

-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

-        Ahahaha the news broke

-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

-        OH SHIT

-        MM BETTER BE OK

-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

-        It’s adorable but still

-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

-        She’ll be fine

-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

-        AYYYYY MAEVE

-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

-        Good for him

-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – ��don’t be a cunt”

-        Aww happy endings for all the boys

-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

-        HIS HEAD BURST

-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him

-        Too bad it’s with the head burster

-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

-        Should I sleep or find fic to read

-        Body says sleep, heart says fic

-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

-        ….Butcher fics it is

#theboys #theboystv #theboysmemes #theboystextposts #I'm back with more insanity #middle of the night is probably not a good time to be texting but hey ho #I'm still a shameless ho for Billy Butcher #that's so sad let me suck your dick about it #I mean like damn #Karl Urban doesn't mess around when it comes to thirst trapping #I need season 3 like yesterday #amazon please #the boys #season 3 #I need it

[shijiujun]

Have you read 2020 bc of you book/novel? If so I'd there any sex scenes? From like the older brother and middle brother couple? Is there any differences or additions? Also do you know where I can read it sense I couldn't/still can't buy it?

yeap i read it. and nope it’s pretty much almost PG13, no explicit scenes, despite the misleading cover. some innuendo and discussion of top/bottom positions again -_- but it’s a pretty friendly book.

and i don’t know where you can read it sorry - if you want to buy it i think yesasia is still the easiest way to get it.

and since you asked i shall take this time to put in the additional parts of 2020 Because of You via the novel here (there aren’t a lot, it’s a pretty thin novel compared to MODC and Trapped, and there’s like double spacing between sentences):

Dad Yuan Wei Zhi & Cui Ying’s story - This wasn’t really explained in the show, so what happened was YWZ and CY lived together since young and they were a couple until YJC’s Korean mom stepped into the picture, and YWZ like the dick he was told CY that he was definitely going to marry the Korean lady because it’d be beneficial to his business, and he kinda broke up with her but expected her to wait for him? I think like 2 years later or smth he divorced the Korean lady (which led to her going back to Korea in tears) because he got what he wanted and he didn’t want to live another day without CY, so ya know,  he went to look for CY at the cliffs and that’s why they had the bet and everything, because CY was tired of waiting for him 

Jun Dao is the hot-headed brother and Jun Ping is the one who kind of is blur and mediates between his second and big brother - This was totally opposite in the show, and so Jun Ping and Jun Cheng’s relationship is better, that’s why JP had the keys to JC’s house (idk why it was necessary to switch it over but oh wells)

Kidnapping incident where YJC hung up - It was both Jun Dao and Jun Ping who were kidnapped, and yes, YJC still hung up on the kidnapper after he said “do whatever you want with them”

Xiang Shi’s backstory - So Xiang Shi’s family was rich before, until their fam’s company got caught in a crossfire between Jun Dao’s mom and YWZ, the fam lost their company and wealth to YWZ, but YWZ still let the Yang family i.e. XS’s parents oversee the company as his employees in a sense, but he needed a guarantee that they wouldn’t try to betray him or whatever, so XS’s mom sent him over to YWZ. Poor XS thought he was going to become some rich boy’s play thing and was gonna live like a servant and subject to abuse or whatever but he was okay with that if that meant his parents would stop being so worried about the whole thing, but of course he was shocked when he was picked up in a limo and then went to YJD’s house (which is where he’s lived alone all his life with only servants for company) and the first thing Jun Dao did was to ask him to play with him and they played until you know… a decade or so later

Xiang Shi was a bit pissed that Jun Dao didn’t tell him about YWZ looking for Lin Xun and granting the son who got to him first a wish - Because I think he wanted that wish for some reason? He might’ve asked Jun Dao to ask for something specific, probably to do with his own family, if JD got it, but he got over that quickly

Jun Ping, Jun Dao, Xiang Shi, Yue Rong and Lin Xun are indeed in the same university - And instead of meeting at the Taiwanese street stall for the food/alcohol part, they meet in the university’s cafeteria instead and there’s alcohol there because this school is kind of a luxurious school owned by the Yuans so… 

Lin Xun has four jobs when YJC met him and YJC made him lose all the jobs by stalking him (wtf….) so he would ‘work’ for YJC instead - He was working at the convenience store, as a tutor, at a petrol kiosk and delivery I think

The scene where YJC is sappy and confesses to LX in their house, and they’re interrupted by a phone call, it’s not for a meal, but because Xiang Shi is ill and Jun Dao was asked to go away so Jun Dao called his older brother hoping that he would know what to do - And LX and YJC go over to YJD’s house and Lin Xun helps out. Xiang Shi wakes up and gets a shock to see LX and YJD sitting there lmao. And then LX went to cook a chicken dish that had alcohol in it, so YJD has it, and that’s why he’s so like clingy to Xiang Shi after, and idk they never once like define their relationship and this CP still confuses me tbh

Epilogue 1: Yue Wu - She’s still terribly unlikeable in the novel, but they do say she’s good friends with Xiang Shi but she’s a bitch to him in the first scene they have tgt so bleugh - And then she screams at Jun Ping and is like: “You choose, do you want me or Yue Rong?” And everyone is confused?!!! Because she’s never been close to Jun Ping? So of course YJP would pick Yue Rong ??? And then she scolds Yue Rong for being a mistress????! Totally confused at this scene

Epilogue Two: Meal + basketball match - They meet up outside for like a picnic kinda thing I think and the three brothers compete with each other with bball, and it’s a mess because like they’re split brothers in one team and their boyfriends in another and dumbass Jun Dao keeps giving the ball to Xiang Shi, and then the other two bros do the same more or less later in the game

Epilogue Three: YWZ talking to CY at the cliffs - YWZ knows that YJC and LX are together, and he’s super chill about it and all approving like, hey nice that our kids are together huh? (wait till he finds out about the other kids)

Epilogue Four: YJC and LX - They discuss who’s on the top between YJD and XS -_- and then I guess sexy times ensue but we don’t see it

#2020因为爱你 #2020 because of you #2020Because of you #because of you #because of you novel #summary #honestly i wouldn't buy this at all haha #the show makes a bit more sense ironically #even with the loopholes

[sunnieskies02]

You Need It More Than I Do (College AU)

Shouto Aizawa x Reader

3.3k Words

Trigger Warnings: n/a; A/N: This is for you Pinky @pinky-the-elephant-room

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Working at the Elephant Cafe was more shitty than it can get.

You opened and closed the shop every single day, the customers were shitty especially the teenagers/ highschool students. You hated them with a passion, every time they walked in you wanted to bang your head on the wood counter so you wouldn’t have to deal with their antics.

Some of them would make a scene and destroy some of the tables and chairs forcing you to kick them out. Other items you would see these big groups of girls walk in, order something that sounded pretty off of the menu, take thousands of pictures of it and then walk out. And every time they did that you silently thought to yourself ‘What the fuck! Those pieces of shit waste so much food, and they come in EveRyDaY!’

You sigh in utter disappointment but you kept on working throughout the day.

The Elephant Cafe was in a very affluent district, fancy cars would silently roll down the street with designer stores covering each side. You realized that the people who came in had almost all the money in the world, and could give two shits about wasting the food or their money. You hated that, you despised how the kids that would walk in would have the rest of their lives planned while you worked all the hours of the day.

A day in your life went a little something like this: At 3am, you would wake up and do your morning routine and be out the door by 3:30am. At 4 o'clock in the morning you would do package deliveries until 8am where you would then change to go to the cafe and work there from 8:30 to 1 in the afternoon. By the graces of Satan you are blessed with a 30min lunch where for the majority of that time you are a part time hotline operator. Then at 5pm, you close the cafe and head to the local convenience store and work from 5:30 to 10pm and you’d still have to do your online college course.

Four jobs in total, not all of them paid well, and the only job that did pay well was working at Elephant cafe. Your home situation wasn’t the greatest, years before you had become a college student your father had died leaving you and your mother to fend for each other. Your mother was a sweet little old lady who took care of the neighborhood children and was a strong prominent woman. Knowing that your mother was growing older in age, you, in secret, gave up on going to college to make more money to take care of her and was going to stay with her mother to take care of her.

But mother knew best.

She told you “Don’t worry about me sweetheart. You need to live your life, I’m not that much an old hag. I can carry my own, be free, and live life. AND don’t forget to bring me back some grandchildren.” As much as you told her that you wanted to stay and take care of her, your bag was packed and you were shipped off to a new part of the country.

Dad didn’t leave a lot of money when he died. So when you were in the big city and on your own getting a job was your very first priority. As you job hunted, you found plenty of job openings and applied to them as soon as possible. Luckily you didn’t have to worry about housing because your friend Mirio had a spare room in his apartment and was allowed to stay as long as you cleaned up and kept yourself healthy. | this sounds a bit awkward and it would be best if you reworded it.

You felt bad for Mirio, but envied him at the same time He got a full ride to E Univeristy while you were working every hour of every day to amass enough money to survive and still try to graduate on time. Life sucked but there was no other way ( respectful way) at that to make more money than you were already making and saving.

Money had you in a mental bind, you felt bad that you were leeching off of Mirio who was working hard, but now even harder because he had an additional mouth to feed.

“Hey y/n? You seem out of it, what's wrong?’ Mirio’s cheerful voice rocked you out of your depressing thoughts and you turned your head towards him. You sigh, « I just… want to make more money y’know. I already work four jobs and I just wanna make money without having to work. » A laugh erupts from Mirio’s chest and he says « Well, the world doesn’t work that way. That’s why I’m letting you stay here for as long as you need. Don’t fret. »

You wanted to combat his words but his bright smile doesn’t allow you too. You close your computer and make way for your room, you throw yourself into your bed and look at the clock. 12:00’ the clock read « Fuck me. » You turn over and force yourself to get a wink of sleep and prepare for another slave away day.

oOo

Elephant Cafe was bustling as normal, preppy pieces of shit would walk in and cause a ruckus. The same group of girls would walk in order food, snap it, post it, then dip. You rest your head on your hand at the counter, and all of a sudden a man walked it. You lifted your head and saw a man who was wrapped in a dull scarf, with eye bags heavier than your under your eyes.

“I’d like a dark coffee with 4 shots of espresso please.” His voice was deep and velvety, it shook you to your core. “Yessir and may I get the name for your order?”

“Aizawa Shouta please.”

“Your total will be—“ A crash interrupted your sentence. Two high school kids were fighting in the dining area over who knows what. “G-give me a minute I’m sorry.” You reluctantly walk over to them and try to handle the situation.

“Who the FUCK do you think you are putting your hands on me!!”

“I barely touched you, I am just asking you to leave the premises. You are disrupting the others.”

“I DON'T CARE!!! My dad could buy you and all of those shitty workers back there!!”

‘I’m pretty sure he could.’ “Please ma’am, whatever you and your friend is arguing about could probably be solved by or infinite pockets and—“

“The fuck is that supposed to mean. Are you saying because I have money and privileges I can’t have any problem!?”

You didn’t answer. Then a splash of water is thrown on your face, and the laughter of the woman erupts in your ear. You wanted to keep your job, but something in you snapped.

“ Your right. I do think that you're privileged and rich and yes you might have problems but I bet you wouldn’t LAST a day in my life.” The girl was silent and shocked “I WORK FROM 4am to 5pm every single day. Four jobs from 4am to 5pm AND I go to college online. I don’t make enough to live on campus, or enough to live on my own. I’m sick and tired of rich pieces of shit not respecting those that work for and around you. You come in here everyday, and disrespect all of us and threaten to have us fired! YOU’RE DADDY’S GIRL AND I HOPE HE CUTS YOU OFF SO YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE WORLD REALLY WORKS. I GET SO TIRED OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE WORLD AT THEIR FEET AND NEVER WORKED A DAY IN THEIR GODDAMNED LIFE!”

The girl looked at you slack jawed. She didn’t know what to say, she looked at you in awe. “Go a head and call your daddy, cuz’ that’s all the fuck you know how to do.”

You walked back behind the counter and continued with the customer who didn’t look dazed at all. Drenched in water, out of breathe, adrenaline pumping “Your total is 5.95. Will that be cash or card?”

“Cash,” he said. He fumbled in his pocket and handed you an American Black Card. You swipe it and he tells you “Debit is fine.” You look at him with a warm smile and back down at the illuminating screen.

“I like what you did back there. She looked really surprised that there are people who actually work.” You scoff, “ Hell yeah, and I work too hard for her to always call on her dad when things don’t go her way. My dad died so does it look like I can call on him, hell no. I work four jobs and I’m still poor.” Realizing that you damn near poured your life to this man you didn’t know you look up and see a small smile.

His order is completed and you hand him his drink. “While you were working so hard her dad showed up.” You roll your eyes and groan, then an envelope and business card is handed your way. “ If you are fired just give me a call. I’ll help you, a hard worker nowadays is hard to come across. And daddy’s little girl is a prime example.” Once he walked up the girl's dad spoke with you, and you were happy that he sided with you in the matter. Which resulted in the girls father cutting her off to make her work to be just as wealthy as he was since he was self made. The look on her face was priceless and she tried to argue with him but the dad didn’t care at all. Daddy’s little girl would have to become a woman.

As Shouta walks out and you look at the envelope, it looked….pretty thick. A cold sweat ran down your face, what was he trying to do? Was it a sleep agent filled envelope! Was it DRUGS?! Not saying that you wouldn’t use them but….what kind of drugs. You take an envelope and place it in your locker in the back and for the rest of the evening, it sits on your brain.

When your shift was over you grabbed the envelope and rubbed it with your callused hands. ‘What the fuck is in here.’ And at the same time you fumbled his business card in your hands. The card read ‘ Kitty Kafe CEO. Owner Of Kitty Kafe Around the Globe. Mobile #: ***-***-***’ Your heart nearly dropped

Into your ass, ‘WTF!’ You’ve never run home so quickly.

“MIRIO!!!! I-I met thé CEO of Kitty Kafe and he gave me his business card and envelope.” He quirked an eyebrow “Wow! That’s a once in a lifetime chance how’d you look?”

“H-how’d I look? I was in my—“ It dawned on you, when you met him you were in your cafe uniform but later drenched in water. “ I was in uniform but later drenched wet.” Mirio shot you a concerned look “No like that you ass. A customer there threw water on me so… yeah.”

You and Mirio spoke about the events of the day and how you made a girl get financially cut off by her dad. That night you slept soundly but that envelope stayed in your mind.

The next day at the cafe you had the envelope at your side waiting for him to come back and to your luck he did. He had the same look on his face and he said “Well it’s nice to see that you aren’t drenched in water this time.” You chuckle, “Same thing as last time, CEO Shouta?”

“So you looked at the business card, it’s good to know that you're literate. But yes,” He hands you his card and rings up your order, “ I’d like for you to sit with me while I drink you coffee. I don’t want to force you.”

You look up at him and furrow your brows “W-why?”

“Don’t act like a kid, I was intrigued by your actions and what you told me. All I wanted to do was know more.” You relaxed ‘Okay, well at least he isn’t a creep.’ Once his drink was made you hold it and walk with him to the seat. While you and him sat together you learned more about Aizawa, he did come from an affluent family but he wished to make it on his own. He was a self made billionaire and his business was flourishing more than he thought. You had also found out that he hated kids, but he was a teacher for a fraction of his life so that was humorous.

Both of you spoke for hours until the end of your shift. Some days, he would sit and watch you work behind the counter. How the sweat would get stuck in your face, and how you would make everyone’s order perfect. Other days he would purchase something for you to eat and laugh at how some crumbs from the cake would stick to your face.

“Hey, you have something on your face.”

“I-i do. Where?” Aizawa leans across the white table and wipes the crumbs off of your cheek. His calloused finger rubbed over your lip slightly and returned back to your cheek. Your face became dusted with pink as he continued to stare at you. His eyes were a deep maroon color, and the seemed as if they peered into your eyes.

“You have very pretty eyes.” Shouta takes his hand back and places it back onto the table and stares. His eyes had a calming effect, his eyes were somehow piercing but soothing at the same time. On another occasion you had made him laugh, you and him have a mutual hate for children, so when you were sitting and chatting with him and said “These kids are the result of too much money shoved up their asses. They need to get smacked the fuckk up.”

Hearing him laugh was foreign to you. It was deep and hearty, like a dad’s laugh in a sense. Aizawa laughed and laughed and when he finally stopped his face went back to its restless state. You look at him in shock and he says “It wasn’t that funny.” You playfully sock his arm and chuckle, pink dust crosses his face and he smiles. These conversations were to die for.

You enjoyed the time you spent with him and hated it when he had to leave. He waved you a goodbye and walked out. You returned to the table and noticed that another envelope was left and you saw that it had your name on it. ‘Was this for me?’ You picked it up and it dawned on you that you forgot to give him the other envelope. You just had to wait till tomorrow, and tomorrow came.

The same thing happened over and over again, Aizawa would order his dark coffee with 5 shots of expression and ask you to sit with him. When you sat with him, you felt the world was on your side, his still face and weird smiles that looked more scary than sweet made you laugh. And at the end of your shift envelopes would be left on the table. It was like he left them on purpose that late because he would have wanted to see you the next day.

Over 3 months of meeting him and texting him( because you had finally exchanged numbers) you had over 93 envelopes with your name on it sitting in your room. It got on your nerves, why had he left them, what was he planning for you?

The next day when you showed up to open. », Aizawa was there,

“What are you doing here Aizawa and I need to talk to you anyway.” he quirked an eyebrow and said “I’m not going to be able to attend our daily meetings. I'm gonna go out of town. So I wanted to see you.” ‘Hé wanted to see me??’ That was weird but once you unlocked the store you motioned him inside.

“What did you wanna y’all about? ” You closed the door behind him and dumped your bag on the table « These envelopes. What’s in them? » He looked at you and said « Money. »

“Money?” Aizawa walked over to an envelope that was pretty thick and spoke, “I looked into who you are y/n. And you’ve had it pretty hard.”

He was right, hell yeah your life was hard. « You moved from a village to a big rich city for school all in your mother’s words after your father died. You came here to get a good education to get a high paying job to send your mom money, so you work hard. Everyday and I saw the pain in your eyes. You push through it but pushing threw isn’t going to be good enough »

You looked at him in shock and he continued to talk. So, when I saw you handed that girl her ass, I started to like you. And that’s why I wanted to talk to you everyday, you were interesting.”You sit at the table and he says, ' In every last one of these envelopes was enough money to give you your own place and money to send to your Mom.” Tears started to form at the corners of your eyes « Working yourself to death is no way to live if you want to die early. So I wanted to help you and I thought you would have caught on. »

You were shaken, you had only met this man 4 month ago and he was treating you in such a way that no one has treated you before. “Why, why are you doing this? I-I don’t understand, I--”

“You work hard. You are a very determined person and everyday you deal with people shit, who never give a damn about anyone else. And,” he walks over to you and grabs your hand. “Everyday I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with someone as strong and eloquent as you.” Your heart breaks a little, “Is this what happens when you are nice to people? I guess I should be nice to rich people more often.’

You hurriedly wipe the tears off of your face and repeatedly say thank you again and again and again. But a thought dawned on you, “Hey Shouta… how old are you?” He looks down through squinted eyes, “38 years old. Why?”

“I-I’m…(y/a). So that makes you…” you show him a big beaming smile. “Myyyy SUGAR DADDY!!!” You giggle hysterically and he rolls his eyes. “I hate to ask this but what the hell is a sugar daddy?” he asked calmly

“Well~ a sugar daddy is an old man who gives a young boy or girl a shitton of money. And you're kinda doing the same.” You latch onto his arm and hear him emit a disgruntled tch come from his mouth.

“Well at least you are being given money for a good reason. You work harder than what you are paid so I’m paying you….and for also being another realist in this world.” You sigh and look up at him, and he looks back at you and continues “ This world runs on greed and people who are hard workers never have enough money to grant themselves a better life. And those who do have the money to live a lavish life they waste it. I saw you and believed that as hard as you work you need it more than i do. So I’m fine giving you money because you earn it based off of your hard work and determination.

You were happy. You were given the golden ticket and you can finally start being more productive and given a man that doted on you for how hard you work and appreciated it. Aizawa was different, and that’s what made meeting him all the better.

#boku no hero academia #aizawa shouta #aizawa sensei #request #sugardadddy #bhna #bhna fluff #mha shouta

[szopenhauer]

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? Debbie Downer should be my name lol

What would you love to drink right now? I’m drinking water rn, second mug in a row, my belly is going to explode

Is that an alcoholic drink or not? it’s not this kind of water :P

Oh good. What would you love to eat right now? I’m not hungry...

How many meals do you eat a day? depends

Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? sometimes

What are you favorite type of jeans? I’d say skinny even tho I don’t wear jeans anymore ^^”

Do you eat your nails? wait what swallow? ewww I don’t even bite them :o 

Do you enjoy making or taking surveys? taking them more 

Name something that is blue that you like Sadness from Inside out

Name something pink that you like PYNK music video by Janelle Monae? XD

If you could have one more pet, what? meh

If you could sleep next to a tame wild animal what? woah 

Would you rather have an owl or a snake? both are cool

What would you name it? Bowl for owl and for snake either Ksysio or Wonsz żmieja?

Do you eat the ice in your drink? no

Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? I had one cigarette in my whole life but I still keep a package in my room :x

Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? fb, I don’t care for insta 

Do you watch beauty videos on You Tube? nah

Do you like Star Wars? love

What kind of surveys do you like the most? interesting, not just YES or NO questions, I want to go deeper 

Have you ever dropped something down the garbage disposal on accident? omg luckily not 

What CD would you never buy for yourself? anything Justin Bieber for sure

Is sex a must in your life? absolutely not

Would you rather be cute and ugly or hot and stupid? cute and ugly? lmfao ok 

Are you evil in any way? everyone is, more or less

Would you rather be a clown or a garbage man? can’t decide :D

Would you rather be a rockstar or a librarian? librarian but rock star ain’t that bad of a choice ;)

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? again? I just got this question on ask today and that really made me anxious

Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? sigh... Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? yep but not to my room as I’m super ashamed of it, it’s not what I really want, it’s more like a storage room for mine and my mom’s things, I wish I could move and out and do what I want instead of cleaning this mess just to have it ruined days after, not that I have money now to fix things the way I imagine my bedroom to be someday :( Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? yesterday was better but today I got a T-shirt so that was a good moment Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? hospital

Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? blergh, r u kidding me?... Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? constantly Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? not because of me but someone somewhere definitely has that name on them for another reason How would you feel if you got the person you liked? I'm in a relationship Is there anyone who likes you? it seems If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? of course  What’s the first thing you heard this morning? you mean a sound (doorbell) or words (I don’t remember)? If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? not possible Are you young or old? young, at least according to my ID and being childish Are there always other fish in the sea? there are but maybe I don’t want them and/or they don’t want to be catched etc. What can your tongue do? pfft Do chickens have feelings? sorta Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? ...  So how are you feeling today? not good enough Where is your sister right now? don’t know nor care What do you smell like? it’s so hot, I smell like sweat and I can’t stand it but I can’t shower all day long What colour is your mum’s hair? grey  When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? last week Do you like fire? as an element of magic in fantasy movies  Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? she’s noisy in different ways Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? that’s a lame stereotype Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? they’re useless but one time I bought Moomin ones because I’ve been walking through the store and they fallen right under my feet and there was nobody around nor the shelf/aisle that they could come from so it was weird and I love Moomins so I took them home (I paid) and they’re probably stored somewhere  Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? what do you mean? Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? my gf apparently - in a cute way - that’s surprising for a teetotalist like me  What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? my tee came! When was the last time you saw your father? he just left for work and I was waving to him through the window which is our tradition  What if your partner went through your cellphone? I have nothing to hide Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? my parents and sister

Robert Downey Jr. — Bet you have a crush on him. he’s handsome but I’d prefer to be him instead of having a crush on sex I’m not attracted to

What would you do if you were to get stuck on a ski lift overnight? ... freeze? and pee myself Have you ever received an anonymous gift? one time when we were really poor that we couldn’t afford food someone left a package under our door, knocked and ran, bless this person whoever knew we have hard times :* What kind of laugh do you have? many kinds that happen randomly Will you have a Valentine next year? I have a bigger chance than any other year before  Macaroon or a cupcake? cupcake Did you kiss or hug anyone today? hug my mom and my dad too Are you currently waiting on someone to do something for you/to you? kinda Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I’m not in an abusive relationship but I know those who are as it’s common and it’s really sad that ppl think only beating makes relationship toxic Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? I’ll stay home  Do you find your school to be loaded with hot guys or not so much? I remember E.W. once said that we have a lot of elves around because LOTR movie had very ugly ones as we did in high school, I tried to find that pic someone posted back in the day but I failed, it was from the council from what I remember 

Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? mostly I just keep my eye on my father and my mother all the time because of covid (and not only because of it) if that counts Are you plotting anything at the moment? another chapter of the book? Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? because they were evil to them, it wasn’t about ME If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? she moved out :3

Do you have a therapist? no longer Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class? yeah, in middle school I was getting awesome grades in math class What do you think of the last person you texted? we’re dating Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? I’ve never done cocaine wtf

Do you post pictures were you look good but your friends look bad? I ask them first  Are you friends with any of your exes? me and one of my exes are together Are you a whiskey person? I’m a no alcohol person

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? tiny bit, wasn’t that bad

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? I have not Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? not in a movie theater Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? somewhat Do you like sour candy? by Lady Gaga  not eat Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? but I don’t drive Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? brrrr no way Are you good at painting nails? am not but it doesn’t matter Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? doubt it What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? kurwa Do you rip out the page if you make a mistake writing, or cross it out? cross it out, if I ripped the page then there would be nothing left  Do you use a full length mirror daily? we don’t own one Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I think they don’t match my style and they’re uncomfy in a long term Mac or PC? PC Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? sorry but probably not Do you ever actually make your bed? when I have guests Do you make an effort to eat healthy? yup The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? black, that’s easy What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? food If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? money because one regret won’t help me and even might make things worse Are you taller than your mom? almost 10 cm What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving today? my gf - break up  my dad - try to stop him or move out with him You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? no problems  Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? 0 Could you handle living with a male roommate? my dad, no one else What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? waking up Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? who said we aren’t texting? Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? don’t feed my paranoia Connection between you and the last person who messaged you? love Where is your biological father right now? bus/job already Who else is in the room with you? I’m alone Water with ice or no ice? no ice  Are you wrapped in a blanket? too hot for that

Has anyone done anything nice for you today? I’m thankful for all those nice things people do for me - big or small The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do? took a walk

Do you usually bring or buy a lunch for school? bring

The last time you had sex, was it in their bed or yours? their

How old were you when you figured out you were definitely straight, or bi, or whatever? middle school was the beginning 

Do you fit in at work or in school? I was always an outcast

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Oh God, Ew.”? 99% of time

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? nope

Is there someone you need to forgive? *annoyed sound*

What’s your brother(s) / sister(s) names? personal

Suppose you saw your crush/bf/gf kissing another girl/guy, what would you do? why tho

What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? whatever bridesmaid wanna wear besides white

Do you have a secret crush right now? it’s no secret

Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? me

Would you rather visit Tokyo or Paris? dunno

Do you think you would like living in New York or Chicago? Why or why not? too overcrowded/loud etc.

Name 3 celebrities who are the same height as you. Lady Gaga, Ellen Page, Reese Witherspoon

Are you happy with your height? I’d like to be taller, not too much tho

Do you have big or small hands? small

Have you been baptized?  I have been 

Have you ever been abused in any way? sadly

Do you like unicorns? they’re fine

Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? I don’t reread books

Do you play games on your phone a lot? recently I became obsessed with LOVE ISLAND game 

Have you ever had to put out a kitchen fire? my mom took care of it but it wasn’t a big deal tbh

Have you ever been kidnapped? wut

Do you have anything glow in the dark in your room? stars

Do you wear a scarf, if so, what does it look like? not rn

Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? mhm but not too long

Do you get breadsticks with your pizza? breadsticks and pizza? it’s like bread with bread - no thx

Did you ever have a waterbed? I hate those

What toy from your childhood do you miss? rubber toys?

Did you sleep in late today? yes

When was the last time you were disappointed? this day

Do you like listening to love songs? I like a variety of music which includes love songs

In your group of friends, are you the smart one, athletic one, etc.? funny mom friend... ok, fine, a dad because my puns are daddy jokes

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? no but they said bad things about me behind my back

Did you ever watch the show Full House? with my sister What was the last thing that scared you? how I feel physically Do the librarians at your library know you by name? they do

What ten people would you most likely bring on a roadtrip? 10 ppl?! shoot me...

Is there anything you’re really stressed out about right now? health issues

What was the last thing that made you cry? I’m about to cry...

What are the last three songs you listened to? Crystal Castles - Suffocation  frnkiero andthe cellabration - neverenders  Major Lazer - Be Together (Feat. Wild Belle)

[edream93]

Thoughts About D3

Possible spoilers for those who may have still not seen it.

Already got me tearing up with that dedication at the beginning for Cam.

“Good to Be Bad” has grown on me. Not the lyrics per se but the song in general.

Even though I know the Smee twins are going to Auradon I gasped when I thought they were going to split up the twins.

Not really a fan of Mal’s engagement dress but -shrug-

I used to weirdly like Queen Leah but blaming Audrey is a no-no.

That moment after Ben proposes and Mal is hugging Belle kind of makes me want to write a oneshot where Mal lowkey does cute things for/with Belle because she really wants a mom figure.

Aw! I love seeing more of the Isle villains like Lady Tremaine and Mr. Smee. I like how you can see that they do care to an extent for their kids. Is it healthy? Hard to tell but if they do, it makes the Core 4 life on the Isle look a bit dark if they feel like their parents never loved them like mentioned in D1.

Oh, “Queen of Mean” is kinda a bop. YAAAASSSSS AUDREY!!! I’m honestly kind of rooting for you!

Why is Belle asking Mal what to do like she hasn’t dealt with her own villain? 

Ben, didn’t you say in D2 that people on the Isle are your people too? If you’re protecting Auradon, you gotta protect them too.

Evie’s house is really cute.

Yes, Evie! Thank you for calling Mal out but also, you want to see your mom? Wasn’t that what you were afraid of in D2, seeing her?

Ugh, seeing Jay, Carlos, and Evie in her kitchen is giving me plot bunny ideas where they all live together (except Mal and Ben but they visit often and Doug would be somewhere, I guess...) and help Isle kids adjust and be like a little cute family.

“I love the lack of dirt” “And the lack of flies” Omg, these poor babies. 

Yeah Audrey you be dangerous baby!

OMG! I’m living for old hag Mal! XD “How bad is it?” Evie.exe has stopped working. 

Oh, there’s Dude. And oh, he can still talk. Guess that gummy was strong stuff.

Omg, I want Jane and Chad growing up together/sibling-type fics

Chad is a lot of things but I kind of love his loyalty to Audrey.

OMG, Audrey’s happy birthday song voice is kinda hot.

I like the idea that Dr. Facillier has a lot of side hustles like he’s the Headmaster of Dragon Prep, he owns a shop, and he has the arcade. In terms of the Isle, he’s pretty rich.

LOLZ the pirates stealing the bikes is hilarious. I miss my pirate boys. 

Wait, so Mal knows Hades is her dad? WTF?

So I don’t hate this Mal and Hades song but the style is kind of not what I expected they would choose for Hades.

I’m imagining the guy who Ben orders around after he hears about Audrey is Chip.

Gil: “You swam off and forgotten all about us” Aw! My poor baby boy!

Evie, I love you girl but did you really think the gum thing would work?

Harry has definitely had a few screws loosened since Uma has been gone.

YES!!! Uma is singing!!!

Need more Siren!Uma fics after that knight fight. Also coven! Uma, Evie, and Mal with witchling Celia (with maybe familiar Carlos because like he was also involved with that scene and it gave me ideas)

Gotta give it to Evie. She’s really trying to get these hot messes under control.

Gil loving grapes is too precious. Also, get this boy a penguin!

Celia concerned for the twins and Dizzy is too precious.

“Is she not a fast learner?” “She’s emotionally involved” LOLZ

“One Kiss” is such a weird song, not in terms of production but just because of character development. I guess it’s because it’s like the first time that Evie has ever seemed NOT confident.  Also, it’s Sofia Carson is super sexy in it and I love it. Also also, I don’t really ship Devie but there little moment after the song was too cute. 

I kind of like Ben with a beard.

“Thanks for saving me gorgeous face” XD

Jarlos...

Chad “I want my mommy” Charming

Can someone get these kids something better to eat other than birthday cake?

I kind of like Mal’s outfit when they bring Hades over. Especially the accessories. 

The red head next to Hades when Mal gives him the ember back is like “Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!” XD

OMG! Mal finally apologizes!!!! And Ben too!!!

I hope Jane gets a birthday party redo.

Ben’s “Hi Dad” to Hades was hilarious XD

Though I love that they brought down the barrier but my first thought was like “Cool cool cool but now the people who actually deserved to be free are free like and like wtf? Why do you want to meet Carlos’s mom, Jane?”

They seriously made me cry with that tribute to Cameron.

Overall thoughts:

What I Liked

The music itself was pretty good and I think that it delivered the very basics of what I wanted which was for Mal to apologize. I also always enjoy when we get to learn more about and see more of the Isle and those who live there.

Other random things I liked:

Gil and Jay bromance and traveling the world on jungle adventures and hopefully seeing a penguin somehow.

Uma having her “I told you so moments”

All of the outfits except for Mal’s engagement dress.

Mal turning into an old lady for a few minutes.

Gil and his love for grapes.

The idea of siren! Uma after the knight fight.

I seriously like Mitchell with a beard

What I Wish Was Different/Wish There Was More Of

More Beast Ben. 

If they’re going to push Doug/Evie then I really wish Doug had more lines and that their relationship was actually explored. Like I don’t hate Doug but like, I’m indifferent towards him. 

I wish China had her own song that actually used in the movie. I also wish we had more Thomas singing. 

More obvious Huma. Like, yeah there are several things that you could point to as “Huma” but honestly I feel like you had to really look hard at them. Like, it overall met my expectations but they were low to begin with. 

More character development for everyone who isn’t Mal.

I wish there was more Hades and Dr. Facilier. I feel like they built them up so much, especially Hades, and then they were underutilized. 

More Uma of course. 

Though I know it wouldn’t happen because it’s a DCOM movie, I wish they had leaned more into villain!Audrey. Like they could have definitely done more with her.

So yeah... Those are my thoughts! Overall, I enjoyed the movie and I look forward to seeing what the fandom, especially the Huma part, has in store for fanfiction. 

#descendants 3 #disney descendants #edream93 says stuff

[puppy-the-mask]

You ever create AUs of your own self-insert fantasies? Hahahaha...

So I made an AU for my Epithet inserts... I call it the ‘Crypt!AU’

Basically one of the twins absorbed the other in the womb- like ya do- anyways the parents named her Lilith, which is a really pretty name!

But not to the parents, it’s got Symbolism!

There’s a myth about a lady named Lilith who apparently was supposed to be Adam’s first wife but refused to ‘lie under him’ and voluntarily walked out of Eden- which what a fucking power move! She was like ‘fuck no I’m not below you nor am I gonna sleep with you- bye bitch’- which apparently later on she’d represent lust and sexual desire??? Doesn’t make sense but I skimmed a bit

ANYWAYS! They’re basically calling her a demon that represents a heap of bad things cause she absorbed her sister and they wanted twins dangit! Also Lillies are the flower of death, sybolizing spirits gaining purity/innocence after death or something like that. So more death but better context! So she doesn’t mind so much when her friends call her that for short

Not that she has any cause ya girl’s INSCRIBED!!! And her epithet it ‘Crypt’

She makes Crypts (like how Percy makes her buildings but she only has 1)

And In her crypts are skeletons, and depending on how big it is, Lots of skeletons (‘skeletons are cool’ is my multiversal constant, if an alternate me doesn’t like them then she ain’t a me plain and simple)

Cause Crypts are used for 3 things, burying dead, storage, and apparently religious ceremonies? Idk what to do with that one honestly BUT I DO FOR THE OTHER TWO!

She can store things in her crypt, or summon skeletons to the material plane. It’s cool cause at first they were mindless but she kept summoning the same ones cause she got attatched and the thought of experiencing something with one only for it to stop existing after hurt her heart, so basically she accidentally gave them autonomy. She has 2 that have been with her since day 1 and she loves them dearly, crypts are where you bury important family members and stuff after all! She also has a hoard of animal skeletons, she feeds the town’s strays and so once they’re family they appear in her crypt after death. Those have the most sentience, since they had previous lives. She also tends to find strays on their last legs- comforting them and welcoming them to her family so they aren’t alone in their final moments. Then she buries them and they can decide if they’ll stay in the crypt, move in and reincarnate, or just move on/ stick around in the afterlife.

When it was discovered that she could conjure skeletons her already shaky reputation plummeted and everyone was afraid, there were even random rumors saying they were all victims of her murders which- she’s like 5 when this starts so wtf people??? She’s in your sight like all the time????? Anyways she only has 1 friend and that’s Chief (cause he’s also here and a living person) cause his epithet also makes him a outcast!

Things stayed like this- her regularly being sent to Eclipses house to learn how to be an upstanding citizen (really cause the parents are assholes who think they need to cleanse the house every week of their daughter’s ‘inherent evil’) she feed lots of strays here and even taught herself how to sew and make clothes for her skele-fam who liked to be discernible from one another to people other than her. Things come to a head when she’s about 11 and the family cat dies unexpectedly, they come home to find the cat dead and the mom is hysteric, she’s cradling the body when Lily feels a gentle but insistent, desperate nudge in the back of her head that tells her someone wants out of the crypt so she relents and lets the cat say it’s goodbyes. But when it rubbed against her and purred (or did the skeleton cat equivalent which is light bone rattling) the mother was disgusted and remarked it was devil magic and all that Jazz- condemning lily and ‘that thing!’

She was shipped off to Eclipse’s at the end of the day, having to pack as much as possible cause she was now banned from the house. The cat had lived a long healthy life and even though things were tense between the human family members they all loved and adored the cat, so it’s form had 2 tails (cause I’m a sucker). Initially it was going to watch over the family as a spirit but after the fiasco decided to stay in the crypt with lily and the others.

But sadly, word spreads and after 3 years of eclipse and her roomies trying their best they can’t give her the help/ life she needs. So she ends up getting adopted and moving a couples cities over. The fun thing is, Chief has been living with Eclipse too- cause he’s a runaway and the local neusance, but he was old enough to emancipate himself when she moved and found a place that was renting a stones throw away!

Some other fun facts;

-Lilith is selectively mute, all her crypt-mates learning asl with her so she doesn’t have to use a dry erase board 24/7

-I have a crossover idea with my CasSwap Bois, where they met online while the brothers were going through old PlayStation games and tried out online mode. And it just so happens that she moves to Ebott, it still takes like 5 years for them to start planning a meet up and realizing that ‘holy shit we’re practically neighbors!’ But wholesome ideas nonetheless

-Apparently Crypt and Catacomb are similies, eventually she can create a whole creepy-ass labrinth that she can set her skeles loose in (like the catacombs under Paris), and since she uses her epithet like all the time she’d be able to use stronger powers relatively fast cause training.

~someone catches her using an abandoned cemetery to summon her crypt and put a stray’s soul to rest? Labyrinth full of fog to confuse them and then suddenly everything’s gone and they’re still where they were (don’t know if she’d make a legit labrynth or an illusion of one, like you could wander for hours but then when she takes it awa you were just walking in circles in the same room)

-someone started a ghost legend about her random crypt appearances at the cemetery (she only makes a big ornate one for the whole respectful ceremonial vibe of a stray’s last moments/moving on, always in a cemetery/graveyard cause it takes a little less stamina there)

-she’s awkward so when someone catches her doing her thing she tells them to just call her ‘Stray’, cause like why would she tell them her actual name in this situation????

-this got longer then I thought

-OH YEAH ALSO! Apparently another Lilith thing was the thought that she murders kids so, that might’ve added to the wonky rep and rumors about the poor kid

#casual conversation #au ideas #not reading back over this before posting- we die like men

[theaterkid821]

Gather ‘round peeps. It’s story time. (Spoilers for changes so don’t read if you’re seeing it soon in the future)

Pre-show

So the first thing I feel like I need to say is that if you are a purist for what they call BMC 1.0, you may not like this. There were a lot of changes to lyrics and lines. It was the same show we all love, but it was different. I loved most of the changes but I can see why some people wouldn’t. 

In Will Roland’s bio, he says “actor/singer/human.” That’s not important to the show, but it was important to me that you know that. 

Also something for my fellow plus size people, the seats are not the most accommodating. Hopefully that isn’t a deterrent, but it is something you should probably know. 

They have a thing called squiptheline.com where you can preorder your merch and pick them up. I got poster, sticker pack, and lip balm (they are mountain dew and mountain dew red)

And then it begins...

They had the SQUIP do the intro and it was beautifully hysterical. 

They lit up the dot on the “i” (which was a little pill) on the curtain-thing 

The shelves behind Jeremy’s bed were full of nerd shit and it was beautiful. 

Jeremy has glasses. Nerd level even higher

Jeremy’s dad comes on with unwashed bowls of cereal, old pizza boxes, and cartoons on. Really adds to his depressed aesthetic. 

When he’s leaving, you see the mailbox full of mail.

He comes back on as the bus driver so quickly.... how?

During the dance bit, he runs into everyone and shouts “girls!” and then shouts “boys!”

Instead of “so Jenna Roland... I mean slutty” dialogue, they change it to “What are you staring at.... I’ve never even noticed him.”

Signup comes from up above. It’s awesome. 

Christine comes on to catch her Eos chapstick (as someone who uses Eos chapstick, I can tell you this is 100% accurate) and then dramatic application

After second verse, before Michael’s entrance, they have Chloe talk dodge a question about her and Jake’s breakup and then Jenna says she saw him with someone. To which Chloe responded, “tell me everything” and then exited. 

George Salazar is amazing and I love him. 

Even from the beginning, with Michael you weren’t sure on the LGBTQ+ spectrum he was, but he DEFINITELY wasn’t straight. 

(Headcannon #1 they used; Michael’s has 2 moms); when seeing the infamous “boyf” “riends,” he took out his phone to take a selfie and said “my mothers would be thrilled!”

Play thing came down from the sky again and Christine lay on the floor for a little bit so you could see her face underneath until it covered her

She did the chorus line dance!

The awkwardness of the scene before I Love Play Rehearsal. 10/10. 

The popular kids knocked Christine and Jeremy off the chairs (my poor babies!)

Slightly after Jake impressing Christine: “Why are you guys doing the play anyways” “Brooke’s doing it because of Chloe, Chloe’s doing it because of me, and Rich is doing it because he’s my boy” “and why are you doing it” “well i’m doing it because of you”

Bathroom scene even had the florescent lights come down.

Rich flushes Jeremy’s head down the urinal (poor child I wanted to hug him)

They whispered “so its like... drugs?” “it’s better than drugs Jeremy”

ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. ‘Nough said

The projection behind the backup was TERRIFYING. They projected people all in white behind them doing the movements.

The rolled the bed on stage for 2 Player Game

Screaming “The cafetorium!” and then having the quieter music as they sit and play the game, emotionless was beautiful. 

“You’re like this bottle of Crystal Pepsi that expired in 1996″ “Is that safe for human consumption?” “Gets better with age”

They had a projection of the game in the background at the end.

They had fog in the shoebox as well as a blue light

“to activate take with mountain dew... not sure why.... and this is important, to deactivate-we’re sold out!”

And then never ended that thought...

“how do you feel?” “like...” singing to add to the dramatic moment and then... “a chump.”

“this guy is hooking me up with a case of ecto-something (i forget). It’s the ghostbusters drink they discontinued in the 90s!” “What does it taste like?” *whispered* “Ghosts!”

(Headcannon #2 they used; Jeremy being a furry); “my default mode you can also set me for... sexy anime female in cat suit with tail.”

They added an intro to Be More Chill

They cut out “i’m a super computer Jeremy, I’m made of math”

The SQUIP was sitting on the clothing rack for the clothing store part

Chloe broke a hanger after hearing he went with Madeline

For Do You Want a Ride, it started with Brooke began by slowly dragging the straw in and out of her soda can ;)

For the Reprise of Be More Chill, they had both the old lady in the track suit, and a lady in the scooter

her license plate said “bingo queen”

SQUIP comes back on in this weird jacket

New song here! Synched Up!

The SQUIP fixes his vision and he doesn’t need the glasses

It’s hard to describe the song, but it’s about friends being “synched” and how everyone is hiding something underneath.

You hear Michael a couple times, but you don’t see him

Talking about Mr. Reyes “his dreams are dead. That’s why he eats so many hot pockets” (hot pockets is sing-song)

When Jeremy says he was doing performance art, Christine has her own idea for a performance art piece. You don’t hear anything about the idea until then end when she’s squatting and shouts “and then I give birth to the bowling ball!”

You don’t hear it because the SQUIP is talking to Jeremy saying she’s unusual because she doesn’t seem to care what anyone else thinks. 

During play rehearsal: “bring me patient zero!” “cough!” (she says cough). Then Brooke says her line in stressed iambic pentameter.

They had little hearts for Guy I’d Kinda Be Into

The SQUIP was all ready to point to Jeremy at the end and then was like “wtf” when she said Jake

They had bleachers for the football field for the scene before and during Upgrade

“She wants to make out with you” “Ive never made out with anyone in my life”

End of Brooke’s solo in the beginning, they changed. “So kiiiiiiiiiiiiss meeeeeeee.” *giant pause and then repeated melody* “like noooooooooooooooow” 

They added dialogue after Jake and Christine which lead to this layering thing of them all singing “I’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am”

Loser Geek Whatever is so much more emotional than even when i saw it off broadway.

The SQUIP came back out in a very elaborate dress/jacket thing. It was cool

They played a jazzy version of the Pants Song during intermission

Christine dressed as a sexy princess 

They added more harmonies to Halloween

Chloe was wasted for Do You Wanna Hang

The SQUIP fell onto the bed after going into factory setting

They took out the 

Michael In the Bathroom... if you have a chance to see George Salazar perform this live, I highly recommend

Christine and Jeremy communicating through sounds is beautiful and just... a mood. 

There was a sparkly red bra behind them

Rich takes a pumpkin and sets the house on fire. 

For Smartphone hour, the changed the first verse of the chorus to “Rich set a fire and he burned down Jake’s house” which helps me immensely (fun fact, someone once thought I was crazy because my friend once texted me “did Rich set his own house on fire, or Jake’s house?” and they saw it and thought my friends were arsonists. I mean, I am somewhat insane, but... not for that reason)

Michael and the dad’s female characters came down from the ceiling.

Michael had shark slippers, Rich had unicorn slippers, and Jeremy’s dad was in a onesie that said “naughty”

I have said this before and I will say this again, it takes real courage to be on stage in front of a few hundred people and sing whilst in your boxers

Michael was wearing weed socks and was smoking of course

Jeremy’s dad thought he was burning incense lol

Christine: “Everyone is hurting and I don’t know how to help. So I guess I’ll just do theatre.” got such a laugh

They basically rewrote all the lyrics for Pitiful Children

Robotic kick-line

Christine knows what a SQUIP is because someone in her theatre camp took one and is now in a mental hospital... coincidence?

The SQUIP comes down from the sky and his chest lights up

Michael breaks through the paper scenery for “MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE!”

Everyone in zombie costumes for the fight scene makes the parallels to the game so much better

Rich has the lisp!

(Headcannon #3 they use; Rich and Michael); “anti-social headphones kid... is he single?” *sees him* “oh hiiiiii.” “Hi Rich,” *very awkwardly* “Bye Rich!” If you don’t want it, you don’t have to see it. But if you do ship it... oh my god.

He puts on his glasses again!

(Headcannon #4 they use; calling the group the squad); they rewrote the verse for Chloe, Jake, Brooke, and Jenna. they say to Jeremy “we’re your squad” not exactly the SQUIP squad, but still

When asked what her SQUIP looked like, Christine said RBG

For the date, Jeremy suggests the performance art she said she wanted to do.

At the end, there’s a projection of the SQUIP in the background

I’m tagging people who liked the previous post or commented so... Tag list: @molly-wonder-queer @72748-blog @simranthefangirl

#Be More Chill #be more chill musical

[typicalmidnight]

iron man 2 running commentary

okay so watching iron man 2 for the first time and i have a feeling im gonna have lots of commentary to share so it will all be under the cut! i’m gonna keep updating it as i watch!

*starts watching iron man 2 without watching iron man first cause it’s not on netflix and is only 2 minutes in but completely confused*

*questions my intelligence because i was able to understand the other marvel movies without watching other ones first*

*wonders if somehow i haven’t seen enough tony stark on tumblr to understand but i’ve somehow seen enough of other things to understand other movies*

*cue suprised and upset anon* sorry anon!!

okay anon!! help me pls! is the guy in the very beginning of iron man 2 someone from the first movie, and if he is who is he?? or is he new in this movie? edit: nevermind i looked it up

omg the first scene we see iron man is so cooool i love it!

holy sh*t he just landed on a stage omggg *freaks out so much because WOW*

im not even 7 minutes in yet but WOW IM SHOOK

i litterally just watched that first scene of tony/iron man in awe the whole time

“the possibility of world peace” BAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA there’s a whole lot in store for the world, and i can guarantee it wont be peaceful lol

the stark expo is year long?!?!!?!!??? wow....

oooh oooh oooh that’s happy!

tony with kids awww

OMG THATS PETER PARKER RIGHT

STAN LEEEE OMG AWWWW

wait what did tony do??

AHHHHH pepper!!

does tony like pepper yet?? are they dating??

god tony. his sense of humor omg.

pepper isnt impressed lol

tony is so savage we stan a queen lol

you’re right, it isn’t canada cause we’re AWESOME and dont have ppl trying to get rid of iron man

rhodey!! i know who that is!

litterally everything tony says is amazing

oooooh whats tony up to?...

world peace? dream on tony

did he just say f**k you to tony stark? UM NO YOU DID NOT

oof the scenes with this bad dude are boring

wait i take that back HE JUST CUT A TV IN HALF!!

“wake up, daddy’s home” god i love tony

i think im getting too excited about everything lolll

tony insulting that robot arm thing gives me life

whats that thing in tony’s chest?? im guessing it has something to do with him being iron man and was part of the first movie

im confused about the relationship between pepper and tony

oooh shes ceo congrats to her!!

is this actually good tho?? the look on her face isnt great

oh okay its good she was just suprised

are those like fake documents or something?

OMG ITS NATASHA!!! AHHHHHHHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE’S LIKE MY FAVE MCU WOMAN OTHER THAN MJ

i got way too excited there and hit my wrist on my wall and now it hurts

wait he doesn’t know nat yet??? HOW?!

also ummm natalie rushman?? that name kinda suits her?? ish idk

NATASHA IS A QUEEEEEEN!!!! I STANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also got so excited about nat that my eyes started to water

“i want one” okay tony nat could knock you out in a second and she for sure doesn’t need a man! also PEPPER!!!!!! LIKE WHAT ABOUT HER!

its the grand prix! it looks just like it does in cars 2!! lollll i was super shooketh about that when i made the connection

OMG ITS NAT AGAIN YAY!

WAIT is tony gonna drive that race car??? is he gonna race??? OMG i hope he does

also my wrist still hurts

wait pepper is suprised?? tony you didnt tell pepper? TONY YOU DIDNT TELL PEPPER??? TONY COME ONNNNNN

OMG TONY WHY PEPPER IS CONCERNED NOW

also is nat working for tony or something

oof its 12 am i should sleep i have school tmrw

haha bish that reporter lady left cause ur boring and nobody cares about you

AHHHH TONY’S GONNA RACEEEE

omg tony is racing tony is racing TONY IS RACING TONY IS RACING!!!! TONY PLS DONT DIE OR SOMETHING

hello my name is leea and i’m a huge drama queen that loves and cares so much about tony stark

OMG ITS THE VILLAIN GUY ACKKK TONY IS GONNA DIE

im still super dramatic lol

and also 100% convinced tony is gonna die even tho i know that wont happen

IM GETTING SO MUCH ANXIETY FROM JUST WATCHING THIS AHHHH

THE VILLAN GUY IS GOING SOMEWHERE ONTO THE TRACK OR SOMETHING ACKKKK

i hit my elbow and my head (not too hard dont worry) and the elbow is the same arm that i hurt my wrist so now my arm hurts from my elbow to my hand

WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING HE JUST WALKED ONTO THE RACE CAR TRACK

i litterally pressed play and then pressed pause two seconds later ooooof

peppers face omg she is shooketh lol

WTF IS HE DOING??!!!!!! also wth is he wearing on his chest?

OOOOOOOOOMG he has his slicy electricity weapon thingies TONY IS GONNA DIE AHHHH

HE JUST HIT A CAR OMG I HOPE THE PERSON IS OKAY

^big example of me being a drama queen and innocent and sweet at the same time

HAPPY HAS WHAT IM ASSUMING TO BE IRON MAN SOMETHING

TONY IS ABOUT TO DIE!!!

i paused it right before he hits the car omg the suspense!!!!!

ANXIETY LEVELS RIGHT NOW

OMG TONY NOOOOOOOO

IM BREATHING SO DEEP AND FAST RIGHT NOW IM PANICKING FOR TONY (it’s called hyperventalating. future me remembered the word lol)

dude WHYYY would you take off your helmet??!!!!

there is a dude coming to kill you and i think a helmet would help protect you idiot!!

OMG THERES A CAR COMING AT THE VILLAIN GUY

WHAT IF IT HITS HIM AND THEN HITS TONY

THEY JUST EXPLODED OMG

i just choked because i was like WHAT JUST HAPPENED

there are cars exploding behind him and this dude just doesnt care!!

why have i started saying dude?

owww my wrist hurts

typing hurts

owwww

its actually really not that bad im dramatic

is pepper gonna save tony????

does the case have the rescue armor ive read about?????

HE JUST TRIED TO KILL TONY

*facepalms* tony WHY did you just hit him on the head with whatever that was??? what did you think it would accomplish??????? this dude just sliced your car in half and tried to kill you, do you think you can take him out by hitting him on the head??? just get tf out of there!!!

OMG HES GONNA KILL TONY

i just hit my head again (not hard it fine)

OMG DID HE JUST HIT TONY

I THINK HE JUST HIT TONY

IM NOT OKAY

AND I DONT THINK HE IS EITHER

AHHHHHHHHHHH

okay i’m going to bed cause its almost 1 am and i have school. anyway, this is the 100th comment which is kinda good to leave off at! i’ll finish watching tmrw and keep posting!

okay i’m back! about to start watching the movie!

ahhhhhh poor tony!!! i’m only a few seconds in but already panicking for him!!

omg hes getting ready to kill tony!! and tony is just lying on the ground!!!

pepper and happy come save him! ! ! ! ! !!!!!!!

or nat!!!!

ahhhhhhhhh tonys gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with every second i freak out moreeeee

oh thank GOD tony moved!!!

that car just exploded omg tony almost diedddd!!!

AHHHHH TONY IS ON FIRE

how tf is he so calm!!!!????!?!?!?!?!?

i mean hes not that calm but way calmer than any normal human should be in this situation

is he just like used to people trying to kill him??

OMG thats soo saaaaaaaddddd

OKAY HERE COMES PEPPER AND HAPPY

please run over him!!!

OMG THEY ALMOST HIT TONY

but they hit the bad guy yay!!!

awww tony is bleeding!

well i mean thats kinda expected lol

oof tony is mad

OMG PEPPER IS SO PISSED

shes acting like a mom lol

OMG THE GUYS WEAPONS ARE POWERING ON

THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE

TONY JUST GET IN THE CAR

OMG THE DOOR

TONY GET IN THE CAR AND HAPPY GET TF OUT OF THERE!!!!

tony just GET IN THE CAR

OMG THE AIR BAG

HE JUST CUT THE WINDOW

THIS SCENE IS SO INTENSE OMG

okay pepper i love you but JUST GIVE TONY THE CASE

tony your armor is taking WAY TOO LONG to get on!!!

AHHHHH LOOK AT THE ARMOR!!!!!

ITS SO OLD

like not old

but compared to his current suit

the “it’s nanotech. you like it?” one

its nothing

AHHH HE HIT TONYS ARM

AHHHH TONYS GONNA DIE

AHHHH PEPPER IS SCREAMING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#drama queen much? #yes thats me

AHHH COME ON TONY

love how i’ve only gotten 3 more minutes into the movie and i’m already at 47 comments

OMG HE JUST WHIPPED TONY TO THE GROUND

omg poor tony!!!!

can everyone just leave my dad alone PLEASE

YAY TONY!! NOW THE BAD GUY IS ON THE GROUND!!!

oh thank god tony is okay hes not dead he won for now

eww he just spat out a bunch of blood

“you loose” how??? like what???

ooooooooooh wait no is tony gonna get in trouble.......

i forgot to say this yesterday but this whole scene with the guy on the track and stuff and the exploding cars in kinda similar to cars 2

i guess you cant have a racing scene in a movie without a car exploding tho

what is up with that guy with glasses?? like hes weird i dont trust him

why arent there subtitles translating whatever language they are speaking in (french? idk)

ya its french

ofc tony talks about the technology lol

and critcizes the bad guy’s

tony this guy tried to kill you WHY are you sitting down next to him??!!?

that guy is weird and kinda creepy

okay just f off senator dude nobody likes you, your opinion isnt valid, and i wanna punch you

“these suits exist now”????? wtf b*tch no they dont!

wait what ever happened to nat??

pepper is really responsible shes great i love her

what does that note say???

omg is that a bomb or something??!

why do guards always help prisoners escape like seriously

is that guy gonna take his place or something??

also he kinda looks like haymitch from hunger games

omg wait WTF WAS THAT

ALSO GUARD WHAT THE HELL

i was right! it was a bomb!

why did they throw him in a truck??

omg why are they in an airport?!

are they gonna help him escape??!!

why is there a table and people....

is that glasses guy sitting at the table?

i was right it is glasses guy!

i didn’t trust him from the start

why is he helping him tho...

friend? fan? what is going on?!!!???

YAYYYYY theres nat!!!

“erratic behaviour”??? what are you talking about???? he just saved himself from being killed how is that erratic?????!!

awwww poor tony

i beleive in you tony, and i love you, but no honey, you don’t know exactly what you’re doing you need help!

“software sh*t” aaaaaaaaaaahahahahhaahhaaaaa

make iron man look like an antique? ya no way is that gonna happen

is nat his assistant or something im a bit confused

aww tony is like so depressed i feel so bad for him!!

stannnnn nat

back on watch? what does that mean...

omg tony is so drunkkkkkk nooooo

ohhhhh tonyyyyy noooo come onnnn

you’re so drunk dude stopppp

god tony you’re so drunk pleaseee

wait why is rhodey fighting him anyway?

wow this is my 101 comment today and i’ve only watched 20 mins today

omggggg people are recordingggg this isn’t gonna end well

*sighs* oh god tony dont yell at them whyyyyy

omg tonys in the fire place!!!

omg that just happened. they just fired at each other.

also just saying tony, he does have what it takes to be war machine cause he continues to be...

ohhhh is tony okay??

im confused tho why did they start fighting in the first place?

okay i just looked it up, it was because he was being irresponsible and drunk, and putting people at the party in danger, and he wouldnt stop

ngl its getting kinda tiring to keep updating this but i’m gonna keep going cause i want this record for myself, and i’m not gonna quit something

ok i’m gonna continue the movie tmrw cause its prob gonna be a snow day (lol i left off at 111)

#iron man 2 #lovely special

[britishchick09]

danger force christmas special livewatch

welcome to the final livewatch of 2020, ‘chapa kills santa!’ ...jk it’s called ‘down goes santa’ (same thing right?). without further ado, let’s dive into the chaos of ‘the best story of christmas’!

the little pre-show channel bumper has a kid skating on tp... ONLY IN 2020!

the theme at the beginning of the ep is ‘deck the halls’ aww :)

chapa: “did you get a job at nacho ball?” bose: “i got a career at nacho ball.” eyyyy ;D (also how does he have a job isn’t he like 12?)

OH NOES THEY HAVEN’T DONE XMAS THINGS TOGETHER!! :O

chapa: “i’d say that’s an emergency, MILES!!!!!!!” oh boy will there be screaming chapa in this??

also since she cares a lot about christmas stuff maybe she won’t be the one to kill santa?

chapa: “no i don’t love christmas” BOIIIII

mika: “you took a long time to answer that question.” lol :D

SUP RAY

why does ray sound so creepy when he says “oh you wanna hear a... christmas story?”

OMG RAY DON’T SHOVE CHAPA OUT OF THAT CHAIR BRO

ray: “do you wanna hear the real christmas story?” the kids: “NO!!” lol :D

OMG RAY HAS THE BOOK IN THE HEADER PIC! :D

also all the kids said ‘ew!’ at the sight of it they really don’t want this story huh

story: “the first one was generous and jolly. the other was hot and fun.” lol

santa’s bro was named crampus wut

OMG SCHWOZ JUST SHREDDED THAT GUITAR YO!!! also hello george harrison’s lucy nice seeing you here :)

crampus wanted a jet ski and spent 1000 years on the naughty list where does this take place

this story is awesome not gonna lie :D

ray got the book from the truth store lol

story: “one day in the mid 90s” CLARISSA IS THAT YOU???

santa was lured to the desert with ‘promises of fish tacos, motocross and illegal fireworks’ lol

‘dill-weebs’ lol

santa and anti-santa fought in an abandoned mall lol

that was such a great story! :D

miles: “i don’t believe any of that!” ray: “CRAMPUS TOUCH!!!” miles: *SCREAMS*

and ray walks away with an evil laugh... >:)

mika’s sweater is so cute! :D

YO SCHWOZ JUST MADE AN XMAS TREE AND PRESENTS APPEAR IS HE MAGIC THO???? :o

and the audience cheers! :D

MIKA JUST KICKED A LITTLE TREE AND SCREAMED YO MIKA!!!

schwoz: “the big man will be here soon!” bose: “you mean shaq?” lol :D

schwoz cleans santa’s sleigh how cool! :D

there’s a corn lady in a corn truck ICE CREAM TRUCK WHO??? I DON’T KNOW HER

ooh the gums can be used to transform their civilian clothes too!

RAY AND CHAPA BOUGHT ALL THE CORN OMG :O

awww ray did it for chapa’s christmas love! ♥

ray: “our pants are down. we’re exposed!!!” ???

OHHH IT’S ‘P.A.N.T.S’ :o

is santa gonna land in the man’s nest without protection?

YO I WAS RIGHT CHAPA DID KILL SANTA!!!!!

SANTA’S ON FIRE OMGGGGGGG

santa’s beard is gray now is he my dad lol

chapa: “WE SHOT SANTA CLAUS!!!” out of context that line is so sad yet still hilarious

why did the meme airhorn just play

YO CRAMPUS ANTI-SANTA IS REALLLLLL

crampus: “it’s party tiiiimeee!!!” lol

the intro happened 10 AND A HALF MINUTES INTO THE 22 MINUTE EP what a record! :o

why did ray return with a big af senpai ball of yarn and needles

ooh the kids brought back strawberry ice cream :o

miles’ actor’s name appeared just as he was on screen coolio :D

there’s a sign on santa that says ‘none of your buzyness’ NUNYA WHO

also miles and chapa say ‘buzyness’ like nunya lol

CHAPA’S FREAKING SCREAMING ABOUT HER KILLING SANTA YOOO

santa doesn’t know who he is HO HO NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

chapa keeps zapping ray when she disapproves what he says YO CHAPA

YOOO SANTA’S MISSING!!!

bose is a mechanic apparently coolio :D

they’re getting christmas day off BUT NOT XMAS DAY

CRAMPUS LIKES THE MEME HORN YOOOOO

bose: “it could be worse!” *sees crampus* “hey, i was right, it’s worse!”

crampus: “where’s my brother uglies!” his watch: “sick burn, crampus that stings!!” lol

CRAMPUS IS GONNA DESTROY CHRISTMAS NOOOO

crampus can teleport coolio :D

the side effects of catching crampus are ‘hotness and diarrhea’ why :(

mika: “OH MY GOD SHUT UUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!” SAME MIKA SAME

ray: “don’t say anything!” bose: “he left!” ray: “...seriously”

BOSE WHY DID YOU SAYYYYYY :(((((

YO CRAMPUS TURNED BOSE INTO A PUNK SKATER YO :o

OMG RAY HAS A TAZER GUN SANTA’S DEFINITELY GONNA DIE

ray: “news is boring” indeed it is

on the newscrawl it says orphans were hit with a sack of presents who

the newsman said ‘in part 2 of our news-’ AND THERE’S A PART 2 OF THE SPECIAL EYYYY ;D

miles and mika transformed to applause! :D

punk bose thinks taco tuesday is the best holiday lol

english orphans are on the news WHY

HOLD UP are those the orphans from one of the previous eps???

the english boy sounds like schwoz when he’s crampus-fied lol

english girl: “percy you know i only have one lung!” ...omg

crampus is putting his hands all over the xmas sack AND IT’S SO WEIRD WTF

news lady: “now that you’ve found the sack of presents you can give them to the orphans!” ray and chapa don’t sound too thrilled with that...

DON’T CRAMP THE NEWS LADY NOOOOO

it’s 8:28 pm when ray and chapa are at the news station NOT A LOT OF TIME LEFT TO SAVE SANTA!!!

the news people, orphans and crampus with energy drinks: “TACO TUESDAY LIFE!!” news guy: “LIFE SPELLED WITH A Y!!!” ray chapa GET THESE GUYS BACK FAST!!!!!!

CHAPA JUST HIT CRAMPUS WITH HER POWERS YOOOO

aaand it didn’t work :/

news guy: “looks like this story will be c-c-c-continued!!!!” indeed it will! :D

onto part 2!

YO MIKA AND MILES WALKED INTO SANTAS DANCING TO AN EPIC ‘UP ON THE HOUSETOP’ EPIC

the main santa lady almost sounds like nat from bob’s burgers :D

did schwoz just speak russian??

YO HE’S SINGING IS THIS A MUSICAL NOW???

schwoz: “♬ you’re never too cool for the holidays! ♬” yay! :D

bose: “rule number sleighven-“ i thought crampus hated christmas WHY THE XMAS PUN DUDE??

schwoz gave bose a candy cane AND IT TURNED HIM BACK YAS!!!! :D

bose: “♬ i used to love these as a boy... ♬” schwoz: “♬ you’re not a man... ♬” lol :D

bose’s singing isn’t the best but schwoz is great! :D

bose is happily helping yay! :D

AND THE SLEIGH IS BACK!!!!!

the magic of christmas is tossing people a wrench lol :D

YO SCHWOZ JUST CARRIED BOSE AND CALLED HIM BOSIE! ♥♥

did bose just say ‘i still have these gross dimples’??? DIMPLES ARE ADORABLE BOSIE

an hp ad just played TWICE IN A ROW WHYYYYY

mika and miles look great as santa! :D

all the santas think they’re the real santa lol

real santa’s a rapper dj now lol :D

OMG HE HAS A RAINBOW HAT LOVE YA REAL SANTA!!!!! :D

the santa lady just got a text from a 909 number is that the swellview version of 1-800?

santa lady to crampus: “who are you and what’s your number?” WOAH WOAH LADY YOU DON’T WANNA DATE THIS DUDE BRO

the lady didn’t change when crampus touched her WAS IT THE GLOVES???

mika used her shouting powers on crampus AND HE’S IN HIS UNDIES GROSS CRAMP :(

the santa lady likes crampus’ max body spray WHY LADY????

the into for this ep is 7 and a half minutes in and this is more like it! :D

i skipped the intro last time BUT IT’S AN XMAS THEMED ONE YAS!!!! :D

ray: “outta the way poor people santa just got his christmas bag!!” ray stop

also the card for ray’s actor appeared when he spoke cool :D

YO WAS RAY CRAMP-IFIED TOO????

...no he’s just being ray

OH NO THERE’S A BALLOON CALLED ‘PARTY TIME’ CRAMP’S COMIN’ TO GET U!!!!!!!!

santa lady: “why do i get thrown through a door at this party every year?’ either you’re drunk or you just like slamming yourself through doors???

schwoz calls crampus ‘crampooss’ and it’s just his accent but it’s super funny :D

AND THAT HP AD PLAYS 2 TIMES IN A ROW AGAIN UGHHHH

crampus got away WITH EVERYTHING SANTA NOOOO

bose: “things can’t get worse!” news guy: “things just got a whole lot better...” bose: “see?” news lady: “for CRAMPUUUSSSSSS!!!!” bose: “...they got me.” lol silly bose! :D

crampus’ message is ‘rap, rock, love and CHRISTMAS HATE’

schwoz called italy ‘itallee’ lol :D

the world wide news anchors are just the swellview ones with accents lol :D

bose sees all those anchors being infected AND ALL HE WANTS IS A RUSSIAN HAT

oh hello ray

ray: “why didn’t anyone tell me lake swellview was frozen?” chapa: “,,,it’s december.” lol :D

bose called the infected people ‘crampas’ lol :D

schwoz pronounces christmas ‘christmuss’ :D

909 is san bernadino AKA WHERE THE STORY TOOK PLACE OHHHHH :O

they have to go to the abandoned mall OMGGG!!!!!!!!!

the kids really don’t want ray to take a coal bath

crampus called the santa lady ‘babe’ ARE THEY A THING????

santa: “can i get nexties for a massage?” ...nexties?

YO DID THE SANTA LADY DATE RAY????? :O

UGH the hp ads AGAINNNNNN

YO the lady has cardboard cutouts of bts in her bathroom YOU’RE NOT DAN AND PHIL WITH THE 1D PIC

909 reminds me of ‘one after 909′ and that’s a lot better than this place!

bose got ‘ultra dark sick glasses’ OH NOES

AND MIKA WAS SILENCED WHILE CHAPA WAS TRAPPED IN CHAINS NOOOO

miles is still standing GO MILES!!!!! :D

crampus said he and miles could be friends awww :)

...did crampus just say ‘your call t-mobile’

santa lady: “oh god THEY’RE FIGHTING OVER ME :D’ no they’re fighting for the other santa MS LADY

ray cried at KUNG FU PANDA????

maybe ray can give his jet ski to crampus to redeem him

OH WAIT THAT’S FROM THE STORY OMG :o

THE JET SKI SHALL REDEEM!!!!!

ray said ‘oh gross that’s mine’ to miles’ (and my) suggestion :/

WAIT RAY HAS 4 or 5 JET SKIS WHY

GIVE CRAMPUS THE JET SKI RAY COME ONNNNN

mika says muffled things and ray completely understands her lol :D

RAY GAVE CRAMPUS THE JET SKI KEYS YAAAS!!!!

OMG CRAMPUS IS BACK!!! and he kind of looks like henry??

the hp ad played but the 2nd one had text this time so that’s cool i guess?

santa still doesn’t remember oh noes :o

bose could lift the sleigh and miles could teleport to different houses AND CHAPA IS RUDOLLLLLPHHHH!!!!!

bose said the ‘guide my sleigh tonight’ to mika lol :D

christmas is ‘taco tuesday’ but better :D

the kids are great as santa

miles: “merry christmas you filthy animals!” ooh home alone reference

a button down shirt and a ball made the news anchors transform back aww :D

AND THE ORPHAN GIRL LOVES A TOOTHBRUSH PENCIL

all 7 members of bts are next omg why can’t it be blackpink

YAS THE SPECIAL WAS THE BEST STORY I GUESSED IT RIGHT!!! :D

and mika is still muffled

RAY IS IN LAKE HAVASU AZ REFERENCE!!!! :D

crampus looks like freddy mercury

and he’s with ray and santa! :D

that was a fun christmas special and it’ll certainly be a classic! what a way to end 2020 livewatches! :)

#livewatch #the last 2020 livewatch is a fun end to a crazy year! :D

[shirtlesssammy]

Simon Said: 2x05 Recap

Welcome to Hellatus 2017, guys! We’re recapping all of Ben Edlund’s awesome episodes this summer. Hopefully reminiscing about his fabulous episodes will distract us from the pain of losing Cas, Crowley, Rowena, and Eileen (who are we kidding. blerg.)

Then:

Baby Sam is a psychic.

Now:

On a quaint city street, an elderly man gets a phone call and see visions of himself unloading a shotgun. The man looks temporarily concerned, but soon has a relaxed face and walks into his local gun shop. The shop owner greets him as an old friend, but is surprised when “Doc” wants to look at a gun. He’s even more surprised when the doc loads the shotgun, shoots him, and then himself. Our poor Sammy had a psychic vision of this whole event.

On the road, Sam insists they head to the Roadhouse (awww) for Ash’s help, but Dean is reluctant. Dean calls Sam a freak (awwww). They eventually make it to the Roadhouse, Dean greets Jo, but Sam is on a mission to find Ash. Dr. Badass is chillin’ naked in his room. 

With the help of Ash, and Sam’s stellar artistic skills, they’re able to pinpoint the town to Guthrie, Oklahoma. No demon activity, so Sam has Ash research house fires in 1983.

Later that evening, Jo queues up REO Speedwagon on the jukebox. Dean takes notice. They briefly exchange pleasantries of hair vs. heart rock, before Jo asks about their mom’s death. Dean shuts her down. And admits to being afraid of Ellen (lolz).

Sam gets a match so the brothers head out. Not without Dean getting a serious REO Speedwagon earworm though. As Dean’s singing in the car, Sam questions Dean’s musical choices, and performing!Dean shuts it all down, asking Sam about what new information he has. Andrew Gallagher: Born in 1983, mom died in a house fire 6 months later.

The boys, dressed in their finest early years cheap suits, start to question a local waitress who worked with Andy. It seems that no matter how hard debt collectors tried, they didn’t get very far with information on Andy. Dean changes their story--they’re lawyers and Andy’s aunt left him a sizeable estate. Another friend of Andy’s sits down to fill the boys in on Andy’s amazing ability of persuasion. He once got them into an Aerosmith concert! The waitress lets them know if they need to find Andy, all they have to do is look for the van with the barbarian queen riding a polar bear. She’s kinda hard to miss.

(FUCKING STONEHENGE FROM SPINAL TAP? REALLY? YASSS.)

And no surprise to us season 12 folks, but Dean’s kinda into Andy’s whole aesthetic. Sam isn’t quite ready for real!Dean. He’s also concerned that they’ve found another weirdo like himself. What does it mean? Dean wonders, “So the demon wants you out there killing with your minds, is that it?” Sam doesn’t disagree. Not really convincing himself, Dean calls bullshit. “You’re not a murderer, Sam. You don’t have it in your bones.” (Guh, what a parallel to Dean and Mary “you’re a killer” --Sam is a Men of Letters, he doesn’t have it in his bones, but he’s badass enough to bring it when it’s needed.)

For Science (but, like, serious science, because I’m pretty sure Jensen Ackles hasn’t aged a day in 10 years):

Just then Andy emerges, complete with scruff, silk kimono, and complete lack of any social grace, and somehow walks away with some dude’s coffee in hand. We soon see him interact with the doc from the cold open! Sam recognizes him right away. The brothers separate-- Sam with the older man and Dean with Andy.

With Dean in not so subtle pursuit, Andy pulls his van to the side of the road and classic dialog commences:

Andy: Hey

Dean: Hey

Andy: That’s a cherry ride

Dean: Yeah, thanks

Andy: Man, the '67? Impala's best year if you ask me. This is a serious classic.

Dean: Yeah. You know, I just rebuilt her, too.

Andy: Yeah?

Dean: Yeah, can't let a car like this one go.

Andy: Damn straight. Hey. Can I have it?

Dean: Sure, man.

Andy: Sweet.

Dean: Hop right in there. There ya go.

Andy: Take it easy.

Dean: All right.

Like, WTF, Dean?

At the same time Dean is losing his most prized possession, Sam is trying to stop the gun store shooting by getting to the gun shop before the doc, and pulling the fire alarm. Afterwards he happens to see Andy casually driving down the road in a ‘67 Chevy Impala. *Does not compute*

Just as Sam calls Dean about the stolen Impala, the doctor gets another call himself. This time he just walks right in front of A VERY FAST BUS.

Later, as the brothers watch the clean-up, Sam admits he thought he had stopped it. And Andy shows up at the restaurant, letting the waitress know that Doctor Jennings is dead. She tells him that some guys were around looking for him earlier that day.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean locate Baby, much to Dean’s relief. The brothers surmise that Andy is verbally controlling people --Dean, and the doctor. Dean doesn’t think that Andy is guilty (OJ though? Guilty.)

The boys break into Andy’s van. And holy shit, “this is magnificent, that’s what this is.” Couldn’t say it better myself, Dean.

Later, during their stake-out Dean admits, “Ugh. You know, one day I'd love to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a minimart.” Oh, Dean, you’ll have to wait 6 more years (and 40 years in Hell) before that dream happens. You’ll nest, I promise. Sam’s still wondering about Andy’s motive. Dean (WHO’S NEVER WRONG) still isn’t convinced. Just then Andy appears, wondering why they’re following him.  Sam starts with their lawyer cover when Andy demands they tell the truth. Sam sticks with their story but Dean is quick to admit that they hunt demons. Lolz. Dean just can’t shut up. Dean Bean. He spills EVERYTHING.

Andy demands that they leave him alone. Sam is immune to his persuasions though. Sam makes it clear that they have similar pasts --they’re connected. And just as Sam demands more information about the doctor, he gets another vision about a woman and a gas station. Andy denies knowing anything about the doctor’s death.

Sam collapses under the weight of the vision and when he comes out of it, he’s able to tell Dean about the cell phone call that triggers the victims to kill themselves or others. Dean leaves Sam watching Andy while he heads to the gas station. Not too long afterwards, Dean calls Sam from the station. The woman from Sam’s vision is already extra crispy and, as Dean notes, “the smell hasn’t even cleared.” (Shudder) Sam’s visions not only have zero chill, but they’re not giving them enough lead time anymore.

While Dean deals with the horrifying lingering smell of fried human Sam chills out with Andy and they exchange stories about their special mind powers. Andy loves his powers and never feels the need to use them to get a whole lot more out of life. He still lives happily in his Polar Queen van, after all. He’s got everything he needs to be happy. Dean pulls up then and lets them know that he had Ash run a background search on the dead woman. It turns out that Miss Extra Crispy gave birth to a kid in 1983. Since Andy was adopted, maybe she was actually his mother? They head to the county records department to learn more.

They review the birth records and discover that the woman was indeed Andy’s birth mother. The shotgun happy doctor delivered the baby. Or, we should say, BABIES. That’s right! On this extra special Doctor Phil, Andy learns that he has a twin brother. Andy sits back, astonished. “I have an evil twin.”

 Meanwhile, in evil twin land, Andy’s friend Ansem chats up Tracy the waitress, asking if she and Andy were ever serious about each other. He compels her to tell the truth. Aaaaand I’m already grossed out.

In the car, Sam suffers another vision. It’s Tracy standing at the edge of a dam and ready to jump. (She’s only wearing a slip so we get the implication of sexual assault preceding this suicidal leap. UGH)

Cut to Creepy McCreeperson, I mean Ansem, who is sitting in his car with Tracy out by the dam. It’s where he takes all the ladies. (Sexual assault no longer just implied.) She cries and begs to leave. He orders her to stop crying. “You can’t have him,” he tells her, referring to Andy. I don’t even know how to begin to rank the levels of creep in this scene.

The boys pull up nearby and prepare to go after Ansem. Sam suggests that Dean stay back and Dean readily agrees. Sam and Andy will take point.

Back at Ansem’s car, Evil Twin orders Tracy to undress - slowly. He tells her that when they’re done she should walk to the edge of the dam. When she gets there she’ll think she can fly and just step right off. Thankfully, Sam interrupts this dark instruction by breaking the driver’s side window and punching Ansem.

Andy helps Tracy out of the car while Sam wrestles Ansem under control and slaps some duct tape over his mouth. Great thinking! Only...Ansem mind controls Tracy anyway - with his mind - and she whacks Sam with a great big chunk of wood. While Andy and his twin scuffle, Tracy walks to the edge of the dam.

“She’s trying to come between us,” Ansem tells Andy by way of explanation. Aghast, Andy tells him that when you learn to have a twin you call them up and chill out. No murder! Bad twin!

Evil twin sheds some light on his evil-ness then, telling Andy that he dreams of a man with yellow eyes who promises him great things. What’s a little killing here or there when destiny calls?

A little ways away, hidden in the underbrush, Dean draws a sniper’s rifle up. (Me, rn → dead on the floor from attraction.) Unfortunately, Ansem hears him and Dean finds himself moving the rifle up to point the barrel at his own chin.

A gun fires.

Don’t worry guys, Andy saved the day! He shot his evil twin dead. Tracy gets off the ledge and Dean pulls away the gun.

The next morning Andy tells the cops investigating the crime scene that Ansem just shot himself and there’s nothing to investigate. He then wanders past a super freaked out Tracy and over to Sam and Dean. “I never used my mind thing on her before last night,” Andy says, “She’s scared of me now.”

Sam apologizes to Andy. The Winchesters have gotta split. But Sam gives Andy his phone number so he can call if he needs anything. Team Psychic Kids for life!

“What am I supposed to do now?” Andy asks.

“You be good, Andy,” Dean tells him. “Or we’ll be back.”

As the Winchesters head back to the car, Sam reflects on the outcome. Andy ended up killing someone; Andy became a killer. But Dean sees it differently. Andy was a hero who saved Dean’s and Tracy’s life. Still, Sam heard Dean’s little spate of honesty before and he’s not buying Dean’s line of total confidence.

The boys head back to The Roadhouse where they’re cornered by Ellen. She confronts them about information she got from Ash and notes the key details of the psychic kid cases: house fires at 6 months of age. All Ellen wants is the truth. “Something big and bad is coming and it’s coming fast.” They’ve got each other but they have to be honest. (I love you, Ellen.)

Sam tells Ellen all about the other psychic kids and how Yellow Eyes has plans for them. There could be tons of demon-blood-infected youth running around but finding them might be difficult. Not all kids suffered house fires at 6 months. For all those other psychic kids, there’s no way to trace them.

Ellen takes this all in and then says, “Jo, honey? You better break out the whiskey instead.”

The show closes with Soundgarden’s Fell on Black Days - which is super relevant to everyone mourning Chris Cornell right now.

We Full on Obi-Quoted This:

You’ve always been a freak.

He sings it from the hair. There’s a difference.

He full on Obi-Wan’ed me. It’s mind control, man.

And Moby Dick’s bong.

You still live in a van.

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

What are you, seven?

#spn recap #spn 2x05 #simon said #dean winchester #sam winchester #ellen harvell #jo harvell #ash #andy gallagher #supernatural season 2 #he was my ben edlund thing

[bearhyog-blog]

{ OOC }

So... I’ve been missing. I needed some time for myself, I was really down and I just wanted to take a break from existing basically. I haven’t kept in touch with anyone, not even picking up the phone from grandma. I don’t know why specifically but I can tell you what has been happening in my life lately.

But before all that, I just want to take the time to thank you for keeping me up to date with your life and for always remembering me. I received your present last Friday and that made me sooooooooooooooooooooo happy. You have no idea, my favourite thing to colour is animals ^^ also, mom LOVED her calender, she hung it up on our living room and told me to thank you while complimenting your kindness and “foolishness” from wasting money on her. So thank you, thank you very much for your words, your actions and the postcards! They’re really well thought out and it makes my heart warm to know that I have someone who loves me, even if we’re far apart.

Where do I begin though.

As you know, I’ve been promised a job. I’m still waiting for it because the guy is so utterly busy he just can’t find the time to make videos with me. I don’t know, I’m disappointed I guess. Again. Mom also talked to the lady who was going to give me a ton of work and she also said she’s too busy. I might have a shot at teaching english 101 but the burocracy is crazy and idek how to handle situations like that, its all so complicated, my god. So I’ve been a little sad regarding that. But hey! I finished my portfolio if you wanna check it out. I’ll be adding stuff to it as I make more stuff. Here’s the link:  https://marquesara.wixsite.com/portfolio

What else is new? Ah! Since I’ve been feeling so lost and just down, I took on a little project. At first, it was going to be a turtle but the money to keep one is sooooooo much that I decided on dwarf hamsters. They’re very cute. They’re also kinda boring because they don’t interact with us but eh they’re nice to look at and feed and stuff. At first I got two: Francis and Sebastian. I read online that males are usually more calm than females so I decided on two males. AND I build their cage out of a plastic storage box, that wood flooring they have, cardbox as bed and stairs a wheel, a bird nest and feeding / drinking objects. It gave me a purpose, you know? And I was a little happier for a little while. They now live in my closet because my cats are crazy killers and they don’t leave the poor things alone. So during the day I leave the door open from the closet so they can see sunlight while I keep the door to my room closed so they can’t get in. At night I close the closet and leave the door open for the cats if they want to sleep on my bed. Oh! But that’s not all. I went back for a third mouse because the box was just so big for 2 little creatures. When I got to the store I said I wanted to take one more and the lady went. “We have two here but one is not for sale because he doesn’t have a leg so we can’t sell that one.” but I had noticed that one of the hamsters I had home had a limp so I told her that and she apologized and said I could take it back and they’d give me the money back for it. I said no way! The creature is no less of a creature because it has a limp! So the lady said she would offer me one hamster instead. I agreed to that (duh) but I saw that there was only one left in the cage so I told her I’d take that one too so he wouldn’t be alone. So now I have four hamsters living in my room. Oh! The others’ names are Aiden and Josh. They’re all named after characters from shows I love hahaha

Still on the animal train, we have Lolita! Lolita is a very pretty, young cat who gave birth to three kittens last month. She belongs to a friend of grandma’s and the poor cat got pregnant basically because the woman won’t sterilize her and she didn’t want to hear the cat whine so she let her free. Someone found her on the street, shaking, quivering in fear under a car and with major weight loss. Instantly, I wanted to take Lolita from that woman. And I might. I’m going to propose to her that I take her to the vet and do an aids test on her. I can’t add an aids cat in my family but I can help with the kittens. Mom wants to adopt one so we might just do that. Or take them all to the vet for responsible adoptions, because wtf... People are so selfish. I spent a whole hour in her house with Lolita and her kittens. Lolita is so gentle and thin and her cubs are still so small they can’t even meow sometimes. One is black and white, the other is white with brown spots and the other one is white and bege. They’re ALL adorable. But this kind of thing triggers me. I know I can’t be the super hero, saving all the animals but that makes me sad and just bleh.

Moving onward, in a talk with mom she said I had my savings from my childhood in the house and not in the bank anymore and it was a decent amount so instead of just worrying about the future all the time and seeing mom getting so stressed about money, I took her with me to the mall nearest, to Primark so we could both get some new clothes. She was really happy so we went once again days later. I paid for all of it. It wasn’t much but it was something we could never afford if it wasn’t for the savings since mom isn’t doing so well in her job. Anyway, I got sunglasses from dad that cost 25 CENTS!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, that’s how cheap that store is. You can get amazing deals. He was so happy for the random present hahahaha. I also then took a little more cash out of the envelope and told mom to come with me to a store nearby where the supermarket is, she was confused and asked why so I asked her “black, white or gold”? She was even more confused but on our way there she yells “YOU’RE NOT BUYING ME A PHONE ARE YOU?”. Let’s just say mom’s phone belongs in the 1700s and it has a lot of issues. So I searched online and I got a great deal from that store. Mom was FLOORED. It was nice to see. She’s been so down too so I wanted to cheer her up a bit! And it worked, she loved the phone. It’s no Terminator but it works fine, so ^^

I also got you a couple cute things but idk when I’ll be sending them because our post office is working like SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! I’m super mad at them. Remember when I told you I had some stuff from ebay coming? ONE IS STILL NOT HERE DUE TO A TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY. I was so pissed at them I emailed them to insult the crap out of them. Sigh. I hope it comes back soon or I’ll destroy the company with my screams.

Mom bought me an aloe vera plant.

I started washing my hair with shampoo after 1 year of flour. It’s organic, biologic and plant-based blah blah so that I can finally not have flour in my hair all the time but still don’t damage it with chemicals. I didn’t even know such things existed LOL but at the mall I saw this store glowing green and checked it out and NOW I AM FREE OF FLOUR HAHAHAHAHAH

In the meantime, I went to two funerals. No one I knew personally but they were family of family, you know? It made me remember to pray, I had forgotten the words hahahaha. And I like churches, they look old and historical and smell wooden-y hahahaahah I’m an idiot.

Anyway, basically I just dug myself a hole and covered it. I’m ready to resurface now, bit by bit. Thank the lord for TV series. Spoiler alert, Jon Snow sleeps with a very hot woman. LOL But what’s really got me going is this series called Being Human and it’s SOOOOOOOOOOO good. It’s about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who live together. They’re all friends against their species “rules”. It’s so dramatic and violent and romantic and emotional and omg I just want to marry Josh, he’s my little Teddy Bear. You should check it out! I think you’d like it. Don’t watch the UK version, that SUCKS. Watch the US remake. Ughhhhhhhh. I even wrote fanfiction about me and Josh HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA It’s silly but when you’re by yourself that’s what you do.

I just... I really can’t explain it. I fell like Alice in Wonderland (idk if you’ll get the reference or if you saw the movie) but she falls down this hole in the ground and there’s all sorts of things she sees around her like tea pots and chess tables and singing butterflies AS SHE FALLS (more like floats down). And then I felt trapped, I didn’t know which way to go. Should I wait for work here, should I just pack my things and go to Ireland? It’s all so blurry and I think the anxiety of it all caught up to me.

Which reminds me! I upped my meds and they’re working well :)

What else...

Hmmm, oh I have the flu -_- I think I caught it from a kid at dad’s house the other day I went there to have dinner with them. I feel like I weigh 1000000000000kg but it’s all physical, you know? Clogged nose, horrible dry cough, bit of a fever. Nothing that won’t cure itself. 

I think that’s all there is to tell, actually. The rest of my days I just spend watching shows with mom, sleeping the day away because the meds make me sleepy, walking Mel, taking naps, and more naps. Oh right! And I’m doing therapy too. They stopped the OCD therapy for now because I believe I’m in a good place right now, controllable state that I don’t need a doctor to continue with my treatment for that. But now we’re going all the way back to my childhood and why I only have nightmares and why do I dream of the same guy over and over who I didn’t even date but like... it was a crush in MIDDLE SCHOOL. She basically said I’m emotionally damaged (what a surprise) and that led to consequences such as not liking men unless they’re fictional. But we just started on that so we’ll see where this goes. I think that put me down too, I had to write about every guy I had been involved even at 12 years old and I hated remembering all those times and people and that ALSO contributed to me not being in the brightest of mood.

Then I tried joining a RP as JB from GOT7 because he’s a hot piece of ass. I was on like 7 different dates, not even kidding but I lost interest because they were too easy. I left and joined as Yeeun. No one talked to me so I left again and came back as Ken and his ex from a rp like... two years ago is there and it’s so awkward I just stopped showing. 

And that has been my life!

You have no idea how much I’ve missed you and I wanted to talk to you but I just didn’t have the strength... I’m sorry about that and for not being there when you needed me, I truly feel so bad. But I’m here now okay? And I’ll even rewind here so that we don’t clog the messenger feed (which we tend to do a lot)

#ooc

[noodlestix-blog]

10 things about motherhood I learned the hard way

You trade your Burberry eau de toilette in for La Bebe Vome odour de toilet. You spend the first 5 years getting shat on, puked on, snotted on and pee’d on. The little fuckers will leak bodily fluids on you that you never knew existed. And they are never completely empty. 

You never have enough money. 

Your bed becomes the new local sewage plant. At first it’s gross but after a while, you just put a towel over it and deal with it in the morning. Fuck it. Sleep is rare.

Sleep is rare. If you care about your kids' emotional wellbeing. When you start to worry about their physical wellbeing due to your compromised emotional wellbeing from sleep deprivation.....tell them the boogy man lurks in the passage and if they come to your room or wake you for anything other than a fire, it will get them. ‘Else, put KY on their door handles and M&M’s on their floor. That should keep them entertained for a while, and fuck knows you won’t be needing the KY for anything else. Little cockblocks.

You never have enough money

The little fuckers wait until you’re in a peak time grocery store line to ask THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE questions. Loudly. And if you ignore them, they break sound records. My personal favourites are “mommy, if boys have penises then what do girls have?” and; “where does that person find panties to fit her fat bum?!”.

You never have enough money

You will hate your husband at some point. He will never do enough. And when he does do enough, he will do it wrong. The poor guy. It’s nothing personal. You set unreasonable expectations for yourself. You want it all and try to do it all. Asking for help is a sign of weakness. All your kid's friends parents look like they have their shit together so WTF is wrong with you???? They don’t. They are as “FINE” as you are. Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional. How are you doing today? - FINE. Have that glass of wine (or 6), in your puke stained yoga pants and dirty hair. Anyone who judges doesn’t have kids. 

You never have enough money. Are you picking up what I’m putting down??? I mean it. There is always something the kids need. “Feed me, clothe me, educate me, take me to a doctor” blah blah blah. They are money syphoning, soul-sucking midgets. And you will empty your bank accounts and move mountains to give them what they need. You always want them to have everything because they are the absolute loves of your life and nothing else matters as much as they do. Ever. 

They turn even the hardest, most miserable bitches into the hugest pile of mush; even after they have wrecked your stomach, boobs, lady bits and bank accounts. All the craziness that comes with motherhood and you can’t imagine your life being any other way. Mostly. There is nothing more sincere and pure than the love a child shows you. 

Macaroni necklaces will make you cry, (not from their beauty - don’t get me wrong!!! I didn’t lose my eyesight when I popped them out ffs! - but because they are given to you with such pride and excitement and love. 

Pregnancy brain isn’t limited to pregnancy. You forget to put mascara on one eye, you forget to go to the loo until you sneeze, you stop to buy bread and come out with a pair of shoes and no bread, and you forget how to count.