#the search function doesn't even fucking work and now I can't go back to old posts of mine without scrolling through months worth of posts

[coffit0]

Does anyone know if there's a way to use a previous version of Tumblr on movile orz I accidentally updated it and it's SO BAD

#genuinely it's stressing me out omfg I CANT GO TO PREV TAGS #the search function doesn't even fucking work and now I can't go back to old posts of mine without scrolling through months worth of posts #small rant but its been hell on earth trying to use the two social medias I use the most (twitter and tumblr) because both suck ASS rn #you got tumblr doing god knows what and you got twitter fucking being X and feeding content to train AIs #and its making me so aaaaa because i feel like i have nowhere to go I dont have a place to share my art anymore :[ #i feel like I sound very silly but it's been a hostile couple of months I wish to go back to fish please and thank you

[lastweeksshirttonight]

LEE'S FAQ!

Over the past nearly-two years, I've noticed that I get some questions about John's work asked repeatedly. That doesn't bother me - half of his prominent work is somewhat lost media, Tumblr's search is super fucked, and I always want to help anyone falling down the JO rabbit hole - but I realized that one central pinned post would be helpful! I'll keep this up to date as much as possible.

I know I have a lot of international followers, and if you have any knowledge of where to stream or find some of these items, please let me know and I'll update this post.

WHERE CAN I FIND...?

Anything really, I've just started going down this rabbit hole:

The John Oliver Masterlist is an incredible resource - while it hasn't been updated since about 2017 and has some broken links (especially in the LWT sections), it has functional links to every JO clip from The Daily Show, all the main segments of LWT through 2017, radio shows, and lots of other material. This was made by @johnoliverphotos and @ilovejohnoliver, and I'm eternally grateful for it.

The Department:

YouTuber Ben Jennings has the entire series on his channel.

Player FM has the series uploaded here as well.

The Bugle:

The Bugle Archive has all Times Online era episodes available to download. PLEASE DOWNLOAD THE EPISODES DIRECTLY; DO NOT STREAM FROM THIS SITE.

The Bugle is starting to upload Times Online era episodes to their official channels, which can be found here. They're up to ep 75 as of Feb 2024.

All post-Times Online episodes (starting with episode 179) are available on The Bugle's official channels linked above.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart:

Have you perused the John Oliver Masterlist above? This is the best way to find direct links to JO clips from The Daily Show on the Comedy Central website, because this shit is still not streaming anywhere else. Use a VPN if you're outside the US to view.

There are a small handful of TDS episodes available for purchase on Amazon Prime if you're in the US. I have no idea if any of them feature JO in any meaningful way - I will update this section once I review that.

Otherwise, you're gonna have to sail the high seas to watch this. I'm sorry that this is the state of the US' most important comedy show of the 2000s. Maybe Paramount will drop it on us when Stewart comes back to host TDS, who knows.

Community:

In the US, this can be streamed on Netflix and Hulu. Individual episodes can be purchased on YouTube, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime.

Worldwide, Community is available on Netflix until April 1st.

Every season of Community is available on DVD and Blu-Ray.

John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show:

In the US, the whole show is on Paramount Plus and can be purchased through Amazon and Apple.

The godawful Comedy Central website has limited episodes for viewing. You'll need a US cable subscription to watch more than the first episode of every season, because of course you do.

Back catalog episodes of Last Week Tonight:

You can buy back catalog episodes on YouTube and Amazon in the US.

In certain areas outside of the US, LWT is now being uploaded in full on their YouTube channel. I'm glad that there's more offerings for you all!

HBO Max no longer has back catalog episodes because capitalism is fucking ridiculous, I pay monthly for this service entirely for this show and I can't even watch old news from 5 years ago

The Horne Section:

The whole series is on Taskmaster Supermax+, which should work everywhere except the UK.

In the UK, you can stream this through Channel 4.

BLOG-SPECIFIC QUESTIONS

How did you get into John Oliver?

I answered this in too much detail in two posts, here and here.

Where is your icon from?

UPDATED: It was made by the lovely @stalebagels for me. She is wonderful <3

Is this blog a bit?/Do you really find this man attractive?

No, this is not an ironic bit, I really like John Oliver and find him genuinely hot. (Tbf, I get this question way more in person than online.)

#john oliver #last week tonight #last week tonight with john oliver #the daily show #the daily show with jon stewart #the department #the bugle #the bugle podcast #john oliver's new york stand up show #john oliver's new york stand-up show #community #community nbc #nbc community #community tv show #the horne section #all my friends hate the comedy central website #but it's all we got sorry

[astraltrickster]

Honestly though between AI discourse, fearmongering about basically every TOS change on every website ever, people noticing how alarming various levels of datamining are but not realizing how widespread it is and blaming all those things on singular websites, and so much more...holy fucking shit the level of computer and internet illiteracy in a population that is now so dependent on the internet is absolutely unconscionable and needs to be recognized as a MASSIVE societal failing.

"Did you know this website's TOS says they can use images you upload for ANY commercial purpose FOREVER? omg take all your stuff down NOW and stay safe!" They NEED to claim that right to display your work on a commercial website that intends to build new features over time in the first place. Fortunately for you, they know they'd lose a LOT of consumer trust if they suddenly opened up a marketplace that gave no money back to creators or otherwise started selling it and claiming all the money for themselves, because yeah, in this corporate hellscape, they probably WOULD if they could!

"I didn't consent to you scraping my image data for the 'more like this' function!" Yes you did, that's in the TOS that you didn't read, and even if you didn't Google would be doing it anyway as long as it's publicly available because legally no one can stop them.

"I can't believe they're not letting us block search engines from indexing our profiles now, only letting us discourage them, what an evil thing of this website to do!" That's all you were able to do in the first place. If it is publicly available, there is no way to block it from being indexed. Most search engines respect do-not-index requests - in fact, it's in their own best interest to do so for both consumer trust AND saving computing power - but legally and technologically there is no way to stop a webcrawler from just looking at those flags and going "how about I do anyway?" short of login-walling it or otherwise making it unavailable to the general public.

"Oh wow these geoguessr guys are impressive!" And terrifying. They should serve as a very valuable reminder to be extremely careful with what shows up in the backgrounds of your photos. You don't want to get doxxed just because someone thought it'd be cool to show off their nifty skills, especially if you're a marginalized person in any way.

"This website's TOS says they'll turn you over to the cops, never work with these evil bootlickers!" They are actually required to comply with warrants and subpoenas or else face the consequences for what YOU do themselves, and they don't know you from Adam, so why would they??? Don't use public commercial websites to talk about doing illegal shit if you don't want to get caught??? Some platforms can protect themselves by not keeping logs TO turn over in the first place (many of the better VPNs, for instance, have this as a selling point), but those have their own unique risks and it STILL doesn't protect you from people recognizing your photos or cross-platform username or other info and tracing it to platforms that DO keep logs. Yes, there are some companies that are worse than others - Facebook, for example, is notorious for volunteering info to the cops even when no one asked and the crime committed was to save a life, because they're fucking awful - but this is something you should EXPECT.

"Look at all these permissions that this platform demands! What are they doing with that!?" Yeah, it IS horrifying, now realize that none of that is unique to that platform. No, none of it is unique to Twitter, or Threads, or Bluesky, or TikTok - and the latter of which is ESPECIALLY not an excuse to pull out some racist conspiracy theories about Evil Chinamen Spying On Us Through Our Poor Innocent Youths. It is the result of 20+ years of boiling the frog when it comes to end user data protection. It's why the word "spyware" went from being a description of something we widely knew was bad to a word that old farts (like me I fucking GUESS) yell at clouds because it describes the majority of the modern internet and hardly anyone fucking notices or cares. It's only likely to get worse if shit like KOSA passes. You SHOULD be mad - but not at any one specific platform...except maybe Facebook. Arguably. Not necessarily because they're worse than any other (though they are worse than average), but because they are the one that normalized this shit.

Genuinely, I want to take this moment to call for anyone who has been disturbed by something like this to please, PLEASE, take a brief break from Posting until you take a moment to read up just a LITTLE bit on internet safety and infosec, because this entire situation with these kinds of expectations being so widespread is...not good.

#internet safety #serious tag

[teaveetamer]

raxis has now decided to just name the person he has been harassing and block evading, fantasyinvader, and claims it's because you "Edelcritics" already mentioned him so he doesn't need to pretend anymore

Lmao, really? Of course he is. I know I said I was done with the guy until he went and harassed again and he's back at it literally not even two days later.

It is extremely telling that his takeaway from being told "hey, that person you've been screenshotting and reposting explicitly has you blocked, has had you blocked for months, you could not have possibly missed that you are blocked, and you are engaging in unwelcome and harassing behavior by continuing to do this. You're too old to not know what boundaries are so could you please respect some." was not "oh damn, maybe I went too far."

No his takeaway was "oh, good, someone else mentioned their name so now I can amp up my harassment further by explicitly name dropping him! I'm not responsible for anything because Vee is the one who revealed their identity, not me!" (Ignore the fact that he was encouraging people to go find FantasyInvader before he name dropped him, he was just being slightly less explicit about where to find him). He took me calling him out for his harassment as an invitation for further harassment. Like, honestly I don't even know what to say that could make the problems with his behavior any more clear.

Lemme spell this out clearly: MFer, I name dropped FantasyInvader so people would know how explicitly unwelcome your continued interaction with him was, not so you could gleefully abdicate your conscience and responsibilities for your own actions onto me. The difference between me saying his name and you saying his name is that I am attempting to act as an ally to someone you have been harassing relentlessly, and you are amping up harassment you already got the ball rolling on.

Also, inb4 raxy accuses me of harassing or being a hypocrite with this: I haven't even checked his blog since Saturday night, which I only did to see if he actually blocked me (and at that point I was still not blocked, by the way). Anyway, I'm very sorry that you're so horribly inconvenienced by me asking you for the fourth fucking time to respect other people's boundaries by not screencapping their posts and sending harassment their way just because you don't like their opinions about Edelgard von Fire Emblem. I would have stopped talking about you entirely if you'd just listened on the first attempt. I'm not sure why you think block evading to harass people over a video game character is the same as me explicitly calling out your actual behavior that actually constitutes harassment and is actually extremely harmful to actual real people.

Anyway, again, don't send harassment to his inbox. Keep all criticisms to his abhorrent behavior (or explaining how tag functions work, good lord I still can't believe he's trying to pass off a search function as a shadowy cabal of evil Edelhaters), please and thanks.

[brilliantpride]

Stupid fucking Magecraft stupid fucking Baobhan-Sith stupid fucking get her out of here. She feels like she's been wandering forever. Of course it's always the Chaldea hallways, too. Always the ones covered in ice, can't even be the empty ones back at Novum Chaldea, or the ones from the old Chaldea before they got iced. Always has to be damn cold in here. Yako punches a wall and sighs, but keeps walking, hoping at some point she'll come across a door or something.

"Damn, when will you just give it a rest?"

Yako glances to her side, and sees another self walking beside her down this endless, empty hallway. She scoffs. "Finally! I was starting to get lonely. So, what, you're here to bother me until I break down emotionally and give up, like Aphrodite and Mnemosyne?"

"Woooow, straight A's! She can use that brain!" The smile on the other Yako is toothy and insincere. "And you know what? I cooould take it slow and gentle, but why don't we cut to the chase? You like it rough anyway, right?"

Before Yako can answer, she finds herself in the clinic. Asclepius throws a pile of papers at her, his face as cold as ever. "That's what the data says. You've burned out your magical circuits too badly to use magic anymore. Your Servants have been dismissed. It took all of my genius just to keep your idiot self alive, let alone conscious, so be grateful you're even standing here to hear the news."

Ah, hey, that's unfair. Yako takes the papers and stands up, tossing them in the trash as she goes. "So what? I still have…" …No, she doesn't. She reaches for her side, but Calesvol isn't there. "Nevermind. I gotta get going." She slams open the clinic door - to see Ritsu and Mash's waiting faces outside. "Uh, 'scuse--"

"Are you all right? You really pushed yourself in that last battle," Mash pipes up. "It was pretty reckless to do what you did."

"And what did I do, exactly?"

The Mash-alike pauses, searching her brain. Ritsu pipes up. "It was reckless and irresponsible." Their words cut right to the quick. "Yako, I just can't have you on my team if you're going to put everyone in danger like that again. Including yourself."

"…" Yako clenches her jaw. Not like they're never doing reckless shit themself. Have they forgotten about the gun that eats away at their life-force to function? --No, hang on, don't get worked up. It's a misery dream, remember. And they still haven't said what she's actually done… though she can fill in the blanks for herself.

Ritsu turns their back on her. "I didn't want things to turn out this way. I thought I could give you a chance, but clearly, I was mistaken."

"Hey, wait a--" Ritsu's already walking away. Yako reaches out a hand, but flinches back at the last minute. "Right… Illusion. It's not them. But… I guess… I can be pretty reckless."

"Damn right you are." Oh, now that's a familiar voice. Your worldbuilding is breaking down, buddy. Yako turns to look at Kama with a nonplussed expression. "I'm always cleaning up after you. And you know what? I'm damn tired of it. I didn't ask to be a Servant in the first place, then I get stuck with an idiot like you, and then I'm forced to be your fucking babysitter? It's torture."

…There's nothing she can say to that. It's completely true. As much as she hates it. Yako's hand curls into a fist, nails digging into her palm, her tail frustratedly swishing behind her. (Why is she getting so worked up? It's a fake. But… it's not like it's a lie.)

Kama glares at her with the fury of a god. "You act like a child, and then get frustrated when people treat you like one. Pick a fucking side. No wonder everyone thinks you're a hassle."

"Ouch."

"That's all you have to say? You're a selfish asshole, you know that?"

"…I'm sorry."

"It's like pulling teeth with you." The scene melts away again - no clinic, no hallway, just the bleached-white earth and its crumbling ruins. Kama grips Yako by the shirt collar. "Always 'sorry' at the last minute after nothing can be fixed, because you're too cowardly to apologize when it's actually useful. Always 'sorry' after you've been backed into a corner. Do you even hear yourself? Have you ever thought about another person besides yourself?" They shove Yako away, and turn away with a disgusted expression on their face. "Do you even care about me, or do you just want to use me like everyone else does?"

Yako opens her mouth, and closes it again. Will talking make it worse? Will not talking make it worse? "I-I do care. I really do! You're important to me! I didn't realize how much until you used up your name for me, and--- and I know I won't ever be able to repay you for that, and I was scared of losing you, and I just…"

"This isn't about you!" a thousand voices scream at once. Kama's gentle galaxies turn burning-bright and all-consuming. "…Deal with this shit yourself. I'm tired. Bye." With that, Kama rips open a hole in space and disappears.

And Yako is on her own, once again.

She brings herself to her feet and wanders around. Her heart feels like it's breaking. With every step, she feels further from herself, lost in her own thoughts again.

"Nobody listens to me," her voice echoes. She didn't say that. "Nobody tries to understand me. I mess up everything I do, no matter how hard I try. Especially if I'm trying not to mess up. Why won't everyone get off my back?"

"Who's there?! Stop reading my mind!" Yako whips around, looking for anyone else. "Shut up! Just shut up! I don't want to hear any more!"

"I don't want to hear that I'm not trying hard enough. I don't want to face the reality that I'm not. I don't want to face the truth."

"Please, stop! I don't… want to hear this anymore…" She covers her ears, her heart aching and throat tightening.

"Whenever people ask me why I want to be a hero…"

A figure steps out from behind a wall. It's… herself? "I answer, 'Because I want to help people!' But it's not true, not really. I want to be adored. I want people to think I'm cool. I feel like if I burn myself at both ends for other people, I'll be loved - because I don't really understand what real love is like. As much as I want to tell myself that I'm human, is it really true? Was I ever human to start with?"

"Shut up…" Her voice is breaking. "Shut up, shut up, I don't want to hear this anymore… I hate this. Why is it a bad thing if I want to be loved? I'm sorry I didn't get the handbook when I was born! I'm doing my best! I don't know how to do better!"

"Aww, I know." Her mirror's voice is so gentle. "Even if everyone gives up on you, I know you did the best you could." She can hear the sneer to it. "Don't worry, nobody's ever going to hear about your journey. Even if they do, they can't tell anyone, or you'll get hit with a Sealing Designation by the Mages Association faster than you can say 'Oops'. Nobody's going to know about the sacrifices you had to make or how hard you pushed yourself, or about your time in Tartarus's maze, or about how you were personally trained by several historical figures, yes, personally, don't you believe me? And nobody's going to know about all your mistakes, either. It'll all be just a dream come morning, and you'll wake up in your bed wondering what the hell to do with the rest of your life. Your parents will wonder why you don't just get a normal job like everyone else your age. Sure, they gave up on their dreams for you to strike it rich where they couldn't, but you could still make a modest living in a cubicle somewhere, right? It's not the worst way to live. You'd still be able to do some LARPing as a part-time hero in your spare time."

Yako sinks to her knees. Her mirror crouches down next to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. "So, really, it's in your best interest to call it quits now. It's a sunk-cost fallacy that's kept you in it this long. Ritsu doesn't need you. Mash definitely doesn't need you. Kama, Connla, and Cú Chulainn? They won't even remember you. Everyone can save the world without you. …If there's a world left to be saved, that is. I mean, it'd suck if you were doing all this and then were left with a bleached-white Earth and no future ahead of you, right? All those worlds and their people, that you just…" she snaps her fingers, "…out of existence. While they were sleeping, too! But, mhm, yep, Ritsu can definitely take the blame for you. It'll be like you weren't even there at all.

"So why keep going?"

…That's the real question, isn't it.

Are you waiting for an answer? Do you really want to hear it? Obviously, you already know everything! But…

"Move."

One foot in front of the other.

Yako stands back up. Slowly, deliberately. "…It's okay to hesitate. It's okay to be afraid. But don't stop." She steadies her breathing and lets her hands fall down to her sides. "Don't ever stop. Don't ever retreat. Don't ever go back. Wherever the living go, that's where Humanity goes."

Yeah. Okay. She can do this. She takes a deep breath in, and exhales slowly. "You know, this is one of the nicer mental manipulations I've been through. I mean, you're not trying to overwrite my personality, or erase my memories, just… make me give up. But the thing is, I'm just too dumb to know when to give up." She puts her hand out to her side… and feels someone holding it, though it's only for a moment. "You did give me some stuff to think about, so thanks for that. But you left out some other stuff, too. It's not just me and Ritsu out here. It's not just our Servants, either. Everyone in Chaldea is working together to save our world, and there's a lot of people in there way smarter than me. I know they can figure it out."

"But what if they can't?" her mirror laughs. "You've cried yourself to sleep thinking about it!"

"We will."

Her voice reverberates sharply across the dreamscape. The bleached-white surface begins to crack open; the structures around her start to crumble. Beyond her vision, a star shines bright. Her mirror regroups herself. "If you think things are going back to normal once you're done, you're only kidding yourself. There's no going back for you. The blood won't come off your hands. The stench won't leave your body. So why keep fighting?"

Yako pauses.

Yes, it's true that the blood will never come off her hands. She accepted that long ago - told herself never to turn away from the reality of her role. She's taken lives - human lives, when you include the Olympians - and stained her armor with their blood. She delights in battle, craves the sport of it, the moment when everything is on the line and her life flashes before her eyes. Someone trying to interrogate her fears should know better than anyone… "I already told you I'm too stupid to give up. I want to keep going as far as I can go. So long as I'm alive, I'll never stop walking towards that light… Towards my ideal. I'll never be a hero - I'll never even get close - but that doesn't mean I should stop trying to be one. No, it's because of that ideal that I've been able to make it this far, and while I'll keep going, and why I'll never, ever stop trying to reach it. The future I'm fighting for is one where even some nobody like me can have that chance - the chance to be better than they were yesterday."

The rumbling grows louder. Even the sky is crumbling. Everything is falling away as something cracks, cracks, breaks.

"…Well, I'll be damned." The scene finally falls away, the curtain closing on its actors. The one using Yako's voice mumbles to himself. "Were humans always this resilient?"

#t: lbvi. #journal. #garden thoughts.......... #im slowly writing out a few different scenes that i had thoughts about #lb6 spoilers /

[punk-pandame]

Storytime, here we go~

Functioning as ask of the day because I am exhausted and I don't know whether you still have one or not XD

The tips of his ears are burning and Sasuke hopes Naruto won't see it. He clears his throat subtly, feigning nonchalance to battle the heat in his cheeks.

"The usual, I'd say. Character development, a bit of quest design. The battle system was largely in my hands as well and..."

"No!"

The corner of Sasuke's mouth ticks upwards at the same time as Naruto's hands slam down on the counter.

"Not what I meant, smartass!"

"Oh?"

Sasuke raises an eyebrow, taking a sip to hide the smile threatening to betray his amusement.

Of course he didn't ask about details for Midnight Assault.

But the way Naruto's eyes are shining, almost fiery in the dim lighting of the bar, makes Sasuke's heart flutter and there's this tickling in his stomach, this tingling in his finger tips.

Naruto leans closer, Sasuke can feel his body heat, can smell him. It's dilluted by the scent of alcohol and a day's worth of work, but there's something flowery. Lavender? No, it's...

He jolts when Naruto grabs for his spreadsheet, slamming his arms down on it just in time and the bartender grumbles.

"C'mooon!", he whines, hands thrown in the air, lips twisted into a pout.

Cute.

"I apologise, but no can do. I don't share my unfinished work."

And that's not even bait or a lie. He doesn't. Sasuke doesn't like to give out information that he's not a hundred and twenty percent sure of and especially in a bar where technically everyone could listen...

No.

"Ugh"

Naruto groans and his lips are pressed into a thin line as he leans back in, his voice low and breathy as he speaks.

"Fine. But the second you have a demo, a play test, anything. You contact me."

A shiver runs down Sasuke's spine and his mouth is dry all of a sudden but he doesn't lean away, not immediately at least. He ignores the urge to stay close to Naruto's warmth and empties his glass instead, taking the sheet of paper and napkins with him as he stands up, handing Naruto enough money to cover the bill.

"Hey! You can't just go like this! Shit, Sasuke! I don't even have your number, how am I- fuck!", There's the distinct sound of something hitting wood.

Sasuke grins, lifting a hand in a mock salute as he leaves the bar.

"Thanks for having me, Naruto."

It feels strange to abandon the warmth of that place and step back into the cold, dark reality. But there's still the weight of his new idea. Of the future.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

The game is in progress.

Sasuke pitched his ideas to Itachi once he solidified them a bit more, met with the client, and started the arduous process of making those ideas a reality. Sasuke focused on fleshing out the two main characters: the protagonist, and the old friend that accompanies him on his quest. He thought of Naruto the whole time. I can’t just steal his face, he thought as he searched through pictures online to guide the artists’ work on building the protagonist’s appearance. While Sasuke could do the artistic parts himself, he much preferred to delegate that task and focus on the story, characterization, and game mechanics. The artists seemed to appreciate how much autonomy they had in creating the visuals, often working from just a color palette and a set of keywords that Sasuke provided for each stage of the game. Unlike some people, Sasuke did not like to micromanage. Which meant on the rare occasion he did insist on a super specific visual aspect of a game, it was done without question. And he really liked not being questioned on this.

“Hm...”

He’s looking over Karin’s shoulder now, watching her sketch on a tablet hooked up to a big monitor. 

“What are you not liking,” she says flatly, not even bothering to inflect it like a question.

“The eyes are still the wrong color.”

“You’re pretty fixated on the eyes, huh?”

“They're important.”

“Yeah, Karin,” Suigetsu teases from his desk opposite her. “Don’t you know the eyes are the windows to the soul?”

“Shut the fuck up, Suigetsu!”

“Please don’t fight,” Juugo intones from the corner, where he’s been quietly humming to himself as he pours over a score. Sasuke can’t help but grin a little; when they first met, Juugo was just a garden variety code monkey. Now he was living a life he’d never thought possible as their company’s go-to musician, trusted with composing all of their games’ scores and assisting in the production. All because Sasuke had bothered to ask about his interests. I still can’t believe nobody told me he had a composition degree in addition to the computer science when we hired him. Would have saved us a lot of headaches if I’d just known... 

“Alright, how about now?” Karin asks, gesturing with her chin toward the monitor as she continues to draw. He’s beautiful.

Despite presumably never seeing Naruto, she has somehow managed to capture his essence. The character’s smile is boyishly charming, offset by a rugged scar through his eyebrow that makes him look just the slightest bit cocky. His jaw is squarer where the real Naruto’s jaw is rounder and softer. He’s a bit more muscular, or so Sasuke thinks considering he’s never seen the baretender’s full body. The colors are right now, with golden hair and blue eyes and tannish skin to match the real Naruto, but his attire is that of a heroic warrior rather than a bartender. It seems right, somehow. I wonder if Naruto does cosplay. Would he dress up as the character I based on him...?

Now that’s a thought.

He shakes it away for now, focusing on the drawing, looking for anything he might want to change. He finds nothing.

“Perfect.”

The word makes Karin’s shoulders slump in relief and a smile spread her lips. Sasuke does not praise mediocrity or give empty accolades.

“Thank you. I’ll get started on some movement cycles for you to look at.”

“Sounds good.”

Sasuke spends the rest of the day checking up on progress with the others, then settling in to do his own work. Juugo is struggling with the composition, so Sasuke gives him the rest of the day off to find some inspiration. A half-day at the park or a museum usually does the trick. Suigetsu is working on dialogue scripts and sending Sasuke names of voice actors to listen to while he’s doing his own work. Sasuke’s dealing with the real meat of the project, working on the plot and deciding how the game will operate. He gets into a groove that has him working well past the hours he’s supposed to. It’s dark by the time he leaves the building, still caught up in the swirling miasma of thoughts. So caught up, in fact, that he doesn’t realize he’s gotten on the wrong bus until he’s nearly to his (unplanned) destination: the bar where Naruto works. He sighs to himself. I should really go home. I have to be up early tomorrow to meet with the client again, and Itachi. But I’m already here, and-

The moment he steps off the bus, the sky opens up with a thunderous crack, and rain begins to fall in thick sheets. There are no bus shelters here, just those stupid little street signs, so he doesn’t have much of a choice. Sasuke pulls his jacket up over his head and crosses the street.

(part 8)

#sns #naruto #sasuke #textpost #clown to clown communication #fics with friends #punky's fics #thanks as always for your patience with me freaky 🖤

[iceslushii]

So, I'm writing this to document what I can only assume is my sudden descent into insanity. I can't possibly be THAT bad a navigator, and yet as I write this I've been trapped in Ikea for 2 days. I haven't seen another person in the entire time I've been here. I thought it was a prank at first. Turn the place into a maze, get all the people out and see how long it takes me to get lost, then everyone has a good old laugh. Realised that wasn't the case when I tried to backtrack. Everything had changed, so I ended up lost. Instead of the exit, it was just row after row of bookcases.

So, I'm trapped in Ikea. Sounds like the setup for a bad joke. The lights went out at 10pm. Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, that loud electrical THUNK sound and then pitch blackness. Place is full of beds though and my phone has a torch on it - but no damn signal - so I found a bed and went to sleep. Spent most of the next day trying to find my way out with no luck. Did find a restaurant serving those meatballs though, so at least I won't starve. That's probably the punchline to that joke. Anyway they were still warm and fresh, but I haven't seen anyone around who could have cooked them. Made my way back to the beds before the lights cut out again since it's too dark to search with them off.

It's 9.10am now, the lights came back on a little while ago. I'm sure I've searched the entire area around where I came in now and the exit obviously isn't here, so I'm going to pick a direction and hope for the best.

Day 3 of my magical Ikea mystery adventure. If I wasn't sure that there was something seriously weird about this place before, I am now. Walked for 3 hours in a more or less straight line (insert Ikea joke here) before I came across a ladder next to one of those huge stock shelves they have here. Climbed up to get my bearings, and it looks like this place just stretches on forever. Like that scene from the Lion King, except instead of trees and grass it was all shelves and tables and crap. I did see a person moving not too far away though, so I headed over.

Thought it was a staff member at first - it was wearing the uniform. And hell maybe it was, maybe freakish 7ft tall monsters with long arms, short legs and no faces are just the kinds of thing they want working at Super Ikea. Damn thing completely ignored me though, and with no eyes or ears I can't even be sure it knew I was there. Thought about shoving it or something to get its attention, but its hands were big enough to crush a water melon so I decided against it. It just kept moving along and eventually I lost sight of it so I decided to carry on the way I was going.

Anyway, no comfy bed for me tonight. Looks like I've entered the Improbably Hard and Pointy Table section of the store. Guess I'll have to make do with some bunched up tablecloths. Phone battery died during the day too. Didn't work anyway, but I feel like I've just lost some vital lifeline.

You ever see one of those cartoons where they're going through doors in a hallway and they just pop out of another door in the same hallway? That's how I feel right now. I've seen nothing but the same identical bookshelf for 2 days now. Just row after row after row of them. I mean, come on. I love books as much as the next guy, but this is excessive. I'm obviously still moving forwards though, I can see the signs hanging overhead passing by. Too bad none of them say "Exit".

Not sure who I was addressing that question to. Lets just say it was practice for the autobiography I'm going to write when I get out of here. I'll call it "My perfectly normal trip to a regular old Ikea".

If I ever get out o

Finally found some other people! Yeah, turns out I'm not the only poor bastard trapped in here. Lucky for me, I guess. My 6th night here, 2 of those staff things came at me in the dark. Different from the first one I saw, but still messed up. Heard them coming, they were saying that the store was closed and I had to leave the building, all nice and polite like. I'm not sure which part of that was weirder, that they don't have mouths or that they were apparently trying to kill me while they were saying it. Came at me like rabid dogs.

So, I legged it. Sprinting through ikea in the dark like a fucking madman. I saw it when I cleared another stand of those giant stock shelves, all lit up with torches and floodlights. They've built a whole town in here! Got a massive wall built out of shelves and beds and tables and whatever else. I swear to god it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Anyway I guess they saw me coming (or maybe they heard my girlish manly bellows of fear), because they had a gate open and 2 people were there waving me in. Heard the staff things slam into the gate behind me after it closed, still politely informing us all that the store was now closed. They wandered off eventually though.

They call the town Exchange, because that's whats on the sign hanging from the ceiling directly above it. Exchange and Returns. All lit up against the night using lights they've found and plugged into the power lines. And there are beds and food and people. Over 50 wonderful people with regular sized limbs and a full set of facial features. It's now my 7th night here, and the first one not spent in darkness. A full week living in Ikea. There's probably a TV show in that somewhere.

Now that I'm around other people, I'm starting to feel more normal. Maybe normal isn't the word. But after a week with only the sound of my own footsteps for company, I was becoming increasingly sure that I'd just gone nuts. That I was tied up in some padded room somewhere, banging my head against the wall. But no, I feel quite sane now, thank you very much!

Apparently there are other towns out there. Some with more people, some with less. I found that fairly mind-boggling - how can that many people go missing with no one noticing. Surely someone would have noticed that everyone who goes to ikea seems to fucking vanish. Or maybe it's not everyone. Maybe we're just the lucky ones.

The people here just call those staff monster things the Staff. Apparently they are fine during the day, minding their own business walking the aisles. As soon as those lights go out though, they go fucking bonkers. So during the day people go out to find food, water and whatever else they need. Apparently there are restaurants and shops around that randomly get restocked. No one knows how. Maybe the staff do it. Apparently they aren't very good at their jobs though because the restocking sometimes takes a while, which means the food needs to be rationed. Maybe if they weren't so busy chasing people around in the dark they'd get more done.

Anyway when night comes the staff go nuts and everyone holds up inside the walls. Apparently it's the same everywhere in this place, whatever this place is. The Ur-Ikea, from whence all other Ikeas sprang. Or maybe we're all still just in the regular ikea and this is all some fever dream brought on by mind-numbing boredom. Who knows.

Been here for 10 days now. Most of the people I asked said they stopped keeping track a long time ago and one guy, Chris, said he'd been in here for years.

Years.

[ILLEGIBLE SCRIBBLES]

Apparently there are rumours of people who do manage to get out. And of people who see the exit, only to have it vanish before their very eyes. I get the feeling not everyone believes that, but I do. Explains how we got stuck in here in the first place (sort of). And I mean, come on. Staff monsters, row after endless row of high quality Swedish furniture. I don't know why they would find a disappearing door so hard to believe in.

Anyway, I went out scavenging for food at a nearby shop with Sandra and Jerry today. Once you learn the landmarks of this place it's not so hard to navigate. The overhead signs help a lot, but there are others; not too far in the distance a huge section of those giant stock shelves has collapsed against each other and way off in the east (we all assume it's east anyway - apparently Ikea doesn't sell compasses) is some kind of tower that looks like its made of wood, reaches all the way to the ceiling. Maybe they were trying to break out through the roof. Lights up at night so there must be people there, but its apparently a few days walk (which means it must be miles away) so no one here really knows for sure. Apparently I got incredibly lucky sleeping out in the open for a week without getting ripped to bits by the staff. That's me. Lucky lucky lucky.

We found some food in the shop. Guess the staff restocked it during the night, which was nice of them. There was a telephone on the wall, so I figured I'd try it out. There was a voice on the other end, but they were just talking nonsense. Random words strung together with no real meaning. You ever see a video of someone with aphasia? Kind of sounded like that. Didn't answer me when I spoke to them anyway. Sandra says all the phones in here are the same.

Oops, asking the journal questions again!

I was thinking last night. The ceiling on this place is pretty high and as far as anyone can tell it goes on forever. Shouldn't there be some kind of weather in here? I'm sure I read about some NASA building that was so big it had its own weather patterns, with clouds and stuff. This place is definitely bigger than that, but now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I've never felt so much as a temperature change in here.

I'll add it to the Grand List of Weird Bullshit.

The staff attacked the Exchange last night. Must have been 20 or 30 of them all just asking us to leave the store calm as you like, while trying to smash the walls down with their bare hands. Apparently this happens pretty regularly, so everyone is prepared for it. Knives from the restaurants, lawn mower blades made into hatchets, a fire axe. One guy, Wasim, even made a functional crossbow. Anyway the walls have holes in them, which I hadn't noticed before, specifically so we can stab out at the staff when they attack. Took a couple of them down myself. They don't seem to bleed, which is weird, but they go down as easy as a regular person once you start sticking holes in them.

We had to haul the bodies away in the morning. Apparently the dead ones will attract more during the night, so we had to get them away from Exchange. We have a couple of those trolley things they use to move big boxes around, so we loaded them up and took them over to Pickup. Apparently people just name everything in here after whatever sign is hanging overhead.

Pickup was grisly. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of dead staff all piled up. There was no smell, which was a blessing. Apparently in addition to not bleeding, these things don't rot either. My curiosity got the better of me while we were unloading them, so I took a look at one of the more cut-up ones. They're just skin, or something that looks like skin, all the way through. No muscle, no bone, no organs. Are they even really alive in the first place? They certainly seem like they have bones when they are moving around, pounding on the walls. And I'm sure I felt more resistance than just skin when the knife went in during the night. Maybe something happens to them when they die. Just one more thing on the ever-increasing list of Weird Shit that goes on in here, I guess.

Something occurred to me, after the staff attack the other night. Every time you see a situation like this on TV or in a film, like its the end of the world or everyone is trapped on an island or whatever, once groups like ours start to form people always seem to turn on each other. Fighting for food or dominance or whatever else. That hasn't happened here. Apparently people from other towns come by from time to time, just to check in or occasionally to trade if they are short on something. But everything is always cordial. Friendly, even. Maybe its the threat of the staff, or perhaps the constant restocking of supplies in the shops means there's nothing much to fight over.

Maybe people are just better than they are generally given credit for. That's a nice thought. I think I'll go with that one.

A dozen people showed up at the gates this afternoon from a town called Trolleys. Apparently the staff broke through the walls and tore the town apart during the night. These 12 are the only survivors out of over a hundred. We let them in, obviously. One more point in the human decency column. Later, I asked if anyone knew how many of these towns there were out there. Between us and the new folks, we managed to come up with over 20 names. 20 towns filled with people, and who knows how many beyond that.

The motto for this place should be "How Is That Even Possible". Surely someone, somewhere must be looking for the thousands of people that must be in here.

I've been here for a little over 2 months now. Not that much changes, as it turns out. A couple of new people showed up, same story as the rest of us. Nice little trip to Ikea and suddenly they're trapped in Billy Bookcase's House of Faceless Weirdos. The staff attack the Exchange once or twice a week. We kill them and haul their bodies off, sometimes they hurt some of us first. They killed a guy called Jared a couple of weeks back. It was awful, frankly. Turns out regular humans still bleed in here, even if the staff don't. We tried our best, but none of us are doctors.

Jared was a good guy. He deserved better. We all do.

It occurred to me a couple of days after that, none of us were really looking for a way out of here. I don't even know where we'd start.

One of those quad copter things with a camera attached buzzed passed Exchange today. I thought it meant that someone was finally looking for us, that help was on the way. Apparently it's not the first time this has happened, though. Same thing happened a few months ago, and everyone is still here.

No idea if it saw us, it didn't stop if it did. Just kept flying until we could no longer see it.

Note: Based on recovery time of the journal, this entry appears to line up approximately with our first successful test piloting a drone inside SCP-3008-1. Analysis of footage shows a walled settlement under a sign labelled "Exchange and Returns". Attempts to relocate the settlement failed. Origin of previously sighted drones is unknown.

I started talking to people about the stuff they miss from home during dinner today. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, everyone seemed pretty down after. A bunch of people here have families. Husbands and wives, kids. Dogs. Franklin apparently has a pet llama, though I'm not sure I buy that.

But apparently some of the people here have some seriously odd gaps in their knowledge. 3 of them had never heard of the International Space Station, 2 of them seemed to think █████ ███████ was the Prime Minister, and one of them had apparently never heard of the Statue of Liberty. I believe them, too. They seemed just as confused as the rest of us.

The more I thought about it though, the more it started to explain a few things. What if the reason no one is looking for all us missing people is because we haven't all come from the same place. This is going to sound weird (maybe that should be the motto for this place) but what if all the people here have come from different dimensions? Realities? Whatever you call it. I've seen enough TV shows to know the drill. Sarah comes from a place where there is no Statue of Liberty. They didn't launch a space station where Wasim is from. If everyone here came from different places, even from ones that seem identical, there'd be no huge missing persons panic. No mass search. We'd just be a blip, a single missing person in a world of non-stop news.

Well. That was a fun train of thought.

Just realised that yesterday was the six month anniversary of my arrival here. I wonder if Ikea sells party hats. The routine around here has remained more or less the same. More new folk show up, one every couple of weeks or so. Food supplies go up and down, but we've never actually had a major shortage. Occasionally we get a visitor from one of the nearby towns, usually Checkouts or Aisle 630. We check in with each other from time to time, occasionally trade supplies if someone gets particularly low on something. It's comforting, in a way. A reminder that we aren't alone in here, some small glimmer of civilisation. Sometimes they bring medical supplies. Apparently there's a pharmacy a few towns down from Checkouts that gets restocked every now and then, so they share out what they can. I've never heard of an Ikea with a pharmacy before but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if someone stumbled on an Ikea Organ Harvesting Lab. Would certainly explain the staff.

Speaking of our faceless jailers, their attacks have been getting worse lately. 3 or 4 times a week now, with twice as many staff as there used to be. No idea where they all come from, or why the attacks have increased. We tried following one of them during the day a few weeks ago, me and Sarah. Wanted to see if they lead back to a staff room or something. Didn't seem to go anywhere though, just randomly walked through the aisles. We had to turn back before we found anything.

We've been reinforcing the walls, trying to arm ourselves better. Certainly no lack of materials to use. Wasim has been making more crossbows, but it's pretty slow going.

Too bad Ikea doesn't sell guns.

Note: No new personnel have entered SCP-3008 at Site-██ in the time span indicated in this entry.

The attacks are getting bad now. Almost every night, and with so many staff that the bodies almost pile high enough for others to climb the walls. I think we're in real trouble here.

Exchange is

I think Exchange is done. We got hit pretty bad last night. Not many casualties, but the wall is wrecked. We finally figured out why the attacks had been escalating, too. A box of supplies had a chunk of one of the staff in there. No idea how it happened but apparently a piece of one will draw them as well as a full body. Too late now in any case, there's too many bodies for us to haul away and still have time to fix the wall before night. Candace has called a meeting. I suspect there will be talk of abandoning Exchange, maybe try and get shelter at Checkouts or something.

It's already getting late though. I don't think we'll have time to make it. Maybe some of us will. I was fine for that first week out in the dark, after all. But then, how often can I keep getting lucky.

I'm only writing this for a sense of closure, I guess. For me, or for anyone who finds this. If this is the final entry here, I hope whoever is reading this is doing so from outside of this place.

My biggest fear? If I do die tonight, I'll just wake up here again in the morning.

Note: This is the last entry. It is assumed that while attempting to reach the "Checkouts" settlement he was separated from the rest of his group by a pursuing SCP-3008-2 instance and happened upon the exit.

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye

[nachotrash]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS

ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time

Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

------------------

Pauline: We're having a baby. Shiyu: Oh, congradu- Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.

---------------

Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands. Shiyu: Because they have little hands.

------------------

Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

--------------

Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---------------

Wid: Pros and cons of dating me. Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

(cons. you're the smart one😔)

----------------

Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

-------------

Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

-------------

Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

(*lipbites in 166 cm*)

--------------

Wid: I don't dab. I stab.

(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)

----------------

Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

(t-pose to assert dominance)

---------------

Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

(lmao baby nacho really be bold)

--------------------

Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

------------------

Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

----------------

Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

--------------

Pauline: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

(we are the squad now)

---------------

Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

---------------

Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Wid: I need my socks.

------------------

Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

(yes yes you are how dare you)

------------

Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT. Shiyu: cuLt leader. Shiyu: God hates me personally. Shiyu: cowBoy hat. Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.

(my asexual ass be like;)

-------------

Wid: *plays shreksophone* Wid: Woo. Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity. Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend

---------------

Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pauline: Killed without hesitation.

----------

Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

---------------

Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-----------------

Pauline: I hate Lili. Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word. Pauline: I have strong opinions.

(oh no)

----------

Wid: How does that even work? Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.

(...fair enough)

------------

Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-----------

Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French. Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Shiyu: Bonjour. Lili: Le growl. Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)

------------------

Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table* Lili: *taps fingers back furiously* Wid: …What’s going on? Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking. Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

-----------------

Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay. Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money. Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.

(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)

------------------

Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Wid: Strong. Shiyu: Weak. Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.

(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)

--------------------

Shiyu: Those darn tall old people. Wid: Darm em' indeed. Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead. The Squad: Lili: Hahaha. Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

-----------------

Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you. Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Shiyu: I stand by my choice.

------------------

Wid: What do we think of Shiyu? *pause* Lili: *sighs* Nice pal. Pauline: I think they're gay.

=------------

Wid: Where is Shiyu? Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu?? Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?

(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)

--------------

Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Wid & Lili: One, two, three- Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three- Shiyu: Vanilla! Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

----------------

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Wid: A doll. Shiyu: A cinnamon roll. Lili: A sweetheart. Pauline: Pauline: ...stop it.

(cant deny the truth bby)

---------------

Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming* Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?! Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here? Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(i mean... its true )

-----------------

Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)

-------------------

Lili: Wake me up- Wid: Before you go go Shiyu: When September ends Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)

--------------------

Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on? Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.

--------------

Lili: *Gasp* Pauline: wHAT?? Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Pauline: *inhales* Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?

(shiyu: same shit different day)

----------------------------

Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled. Wid: You can't cancel a holiday. Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too. Wid: What does that mean? Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.

--------------------

Pauline: So, are they your friend or... Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you. Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu. Lili: Precisely!

(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)

----------------

Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Pauline: When have I been paranoid? Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…? Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid! Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong* Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.

(id gladly be one)

--------------------

*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling* Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline. Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

----------------

Wid: We need to distract these guys. Lili: Leave it to me. Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*

(*pulls out dictionary*)

------------------

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!

----------------------

Wid: What is love? Pauline: An emotional minefield. Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction. Lili: Baby don't hurt me.

(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)

--------------------

Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Wid: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Lili: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.

------------------

Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Pauline: Gray. Lili: Grey. Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is. Wid: Dark white.

#incorrect nacho

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.4

I wanna be an intern too, you ragedy ann looking ass hoe 😠



Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

All goes well when you are ignorant is what my dear best friend would say to me now, as I sit in the very back of the class unfocused on how our teacher is introducing an activity I have no chance of participating in. All I knew was that when Mr. Aizawa walked up to the board and wrote names of people getting offers, I wasn't one of them. Not that I expected to be, considering I wasn't in the sports festival, let alone the school at all back then. 

However, I did notice a small inconsistency in the order of the most offers. I was pretty sure that boom boom had gotten first place in the festival, him being there is what convinced me to transfer, but his name was actually second on the board. 

Todoroki had taken the place of first as far as offers were concerned. Todoroki the nice boy who I used to meet when I snuck away from my fucking prison cell. Call me privileged for complaining about living in a mansion All my life, but I much prefer being here. With common folk. They ground me. 

I peeked up from my phone at the red and white head of hair in front of me, he didn't seem all that fazed. Although maybe it was just the lack of seeing his face that made me believe he couldn't care less about all but one of those offers. Still, his business is his, and my business is the new Ao3 update on my favorite chrollo lucilfer fanfiction. What a babe. 

I decided that the class as of right now would be of no importance to me, considering I will have no offers, and bakugou-the reason I came here- hates me like I'm a piece of gum stuck under his shoe.  Through that conclusion I allowed myself to dissolve into the world of hxh and forget about how boring this world is. 

Could my power beat Killua or go in a fight? I mean, it doesn't enhance my strength like they did trying to get into Killua's house so physically they must be stronger. 

"Y/n! Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

Mr.Aizawas voice seemed almost shot at me as my gaze rose from my phone in my lap to meet him at the front of the room. He looked displeased to say the least. Well good for him, im displeased too, I might not be able to beat a fucking twelve year old in combat. 

"Huh?"

"You were grumbling, what's so important you had to tell us, hm?"

I thought it through for a second- just kidding, I never think anything through. 

"Oh, well I wasn't sure if I could beat Gon in a fight, but I'm not coming to the realization that if Chrollo is my boyfriend, I shouldn't have to fight anyone at all. I can just be a pretty face in the backgrounds and then after he wins for me i'll suck his-"

"Enough, y/n." Mr.Aizawa no longer held a tired looking face, his eyes were wide and an uncomfortable cringed was set on his face. As I peered at the rest of the class many also had shocked eyes, but unlike our teacher, held faint blushes. 

Minus midoriya, his face was completely red and his eyes void of life. I must've killed him, huh. 

"Wait!"

In an attempt to regain some dignity, I tried to correct myself.

"I would....not suck his-?"

"Don't even say it, shitty princess !"

"Woah bakugou, you spoke to me on purpose!?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, how come you call me princess, you like me or something?"

He growled at that, neither of us paying mind to the fact that everyone in the class was either dead from nosebleeds or extremely uncomfortable and staring at us.  

"Its cuz you act fucking entitled like a princess"

"I'll be your pillow princes-"

"Enough!" A robotic-like hand sliced the air in front of me. The voice sounded firm, almost more teacher-like than our teacher's voice. I followed my gaze up the hand, not failing to notice how as I drew up the guy's arm his muscles only seemed to get bigger and bigger and- iida? 

"Oh class rep-"

"Y/n this vulgar language and border-line harassment needs to cease immediately. I will not tolerante overtly sexual language and acts in this class-"

As he was speaking I noticed something ironic about the situation. If everyone here didn't like sexual jokes or banter, how were they so flustered at comments that objectively should be unknown to them. 

"How did you know what I meant, iida?" I rasped in a low sultry voice, allowing my fingers to dance up his arm starting at the wrist in front of my face. 

I heard a few chuckles from, who I would say are the only two people enjoying this situation: kaminari and...stinky mineta. Iida's face grew more red than previously and the arms in front of me began shaking. 

"Mr.Aizawa it seems I've disarmed the robot. Is there a restart button or something?" I question with a serious face using the search as an excuse to wonder my eyes all over his body. Perverted? Yes. Rightfully attracted to this giant hunk of a nerd. Yes ×10. 

"No, there is not." Todoroki, who was in front of me, finally turned around to address me. I guess he was unfazed by my words. Looks like someone here can be cool. Whether he is okay because he is more comfortable with sexual jokes, or because he has yet to pick up on them, its nice that somebody in here can still function. Otherwise, I'd feel like a nuisance. 

"Y/n I'm not really sure how to- let's just say to have detention with your m- midnight. Detention. Yeah." Aizawa publicly convinced himself of my punishment? 

"Okay"

"Now, back to this, even if you didn't get any offers ALL of you will have an internship" 

And so went on the class, kids chose their hero names, not me though. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a hero at all, this was just a little less boring and sad than the way I lived before. This school had people who laughed in joy, not just to mask the pain. That was the real benefit, not being a hero, or being strong. Likely no one here realized that there were many places where none of this joy was possible. 

Some of the kids in class gave me suggestions for a hero name, but I didn't like them anyway. They lacked personality, and while I have many adjectives to describe my personality, my life, none of them are all that heroic. 

"Dark element"

"Girl who will die if her quirk doesnt like its environment" 

See, I'm not the best at this. Even bakugan names had some sense to it...well no. I'd say we're about the same, but still. Ugh. 

~timeskip~ 

Bakugou pov 😠

She came up with no hero names. Fucking entitled brat. Everyone at this lunch table seems to have no problem with the fact that she is here, just happy to have another pair of tits to stare at like perverts. Their gross. I bet she doesn't even want to be a hero, she sure as hell doesn't act like it. We don't even know what her whole quirk is. Ive seen her do that plant shit a couple times, fucking with flowers or whatever. Still, there's more to it. Something we don't know, at least. Cuz in the middle of class she gets up and whispers to Aizawa and he just lets her go. Where the fuck does she go? 

Interrupts class, got into the school because her moms a teacher, won't use her quirk. What a nuisance, I can't believe she is not expelled yet. Plus those bullshit sex jokes are so shitty. She is obviously faking something when she does them. Not like midnight, who always at least seems like she means that gross shit. 

"Hey, who did you guys choose for your internship? I haven't chosen yet."

"The number three hero guy," I spoke, knowing I'm the only person here who already chose. 

"Really? Best jeanist! That's so cool, but are you sure that for you bakugou?" Shitty hair raised a shitty brow at me. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Just that he seems pretty...uptight..for you?" Dunceface added, but he spoke like it was a question. Of course he is the hero for me, he is the highest ranting hero on my list. If I wanna be number one, I gotta train with the best. 

If I go to his agency I'm sure there will be a lot more action, since he is so high ranking. Then i'll get some real experience kicking villain ass, well, other than the USJ. 

"Of course he is the right option!"

"Woahhh~"

Shit. It's her voice. I honestly should applaud her for using it less often around me but, how can one small girl be so goddamn annoying. I don't even know what she has to say and I already wish she would just put a sock in it. How can someone so entitled like her, probably never had to lift a finger, walk  over here and talk like she has something to say. 

"You're working with the best jeanist! So cool, one time he saved me from a group of rapist guys, it was awesome with all these strings everywhere and I could only see half of his face. Oh and he had goofy hair too!"

Oh. I didn't really know how to respond to the girl who looked so excited about almost being violated. Another thing wrong with her? I looked back at the other people at the table to see if they knew how to respond to something like that. 

Dunceface was frozen, tape arms were frozen, shitty hair was frozen, and alíen eyes were looking like a lost puppy and trying not to cry. 

It didnt seem like the shutty princess was exactly understanding how what she just yelled was making things weird. She just stood there expectantly. She kinda looked like she thought being raped was something that must happen to everyone. Did she think that? Wouldn't put it past her weird ass. 

"Uhm...anyways, i'm sure you'll do awesome, he likes to put boys in tight jeans. Wish I could intern too, I'd love to see that boom boom~" she winked. 

A perverted joke...and then she had the audacity to wink at me. 

"You wish you could see me in tight jeans, shitty extra!"

"I know...thats what a I just said." She dead panned, blinking a couple times at me. 

"Tch, screw you!"

"I would-" 

"Can it, i don't wanna hear your shitty voice anymore"

The girl stopped herself after my words, pushing all her hair behind her head, except for the two blond stands in the front. 

(You don't have to acknowledge these if you don't want, but I made it so that they change color depending on what element your using and I thought it was hot*if you have short hair, then you just got a lil nishinoya type thing 🥰)

Lifted her obnoxious hands that moved around while she talked and made a zipper-like motion over her lips. Then she just stood there looking at me. I really wanted to just let her stand there and go back to eating. Ignore her completely and let her hope fizzle out and die or something like that. 

Yet here I am, still looking at her. Silently. Wishing she made a stupid joke so that I could stop flickering between those images I'd seen of her dancing. How even though ballet is a princess fucking dance, the pictures felt nice. Like if I was watching it live I would probably be unable to criticize it. That pissed me off, because I want to hate everything about her, but I can't hate those photos. Where she looks like she is flying, without any need for a quirk.

I see her in that weird gown, and now, in the UA uniform. I see her looking respectable, formal, and serious. Then I see her stupid little smirk as she takes pride in being able to shut up for more than a minute. 

"Why are you still standing there?"

Instead of answering, she took her hand up again, made a pinch with her fingers and unzipped her mouth. 

"I was enjoying the look in your eyes."she smiled. 

The look in my eyes? Could she tell I was seeing two different people? What the hell does that even mean? Even said it without that shitty flirt voice. Like she meant it. 

"You tryna make fun of me?"I stood up from the table to get in her face.

"Not right now, maybe later, I gotta do something." She smiled sincerely at me, for a second as she walked away, I forgot about how this conversation started. What a wierd fucking girl. I'll never respect her as a hero. Tch. (Yes, its canon he tchs even in his thoughts) 

3rd person POV 

Y/n briskly walked out of the cafeteria with a new goal in mind. She would come to remember how maybe being oblivious was a benefit in some ways, but for now, she had a clear plan .

"Mr.Aizawa, let me do an internship."

"You weren't in the festival, I can't just hand you to a hero who has no idea what you can do, y/n."

"Well, you know what I can do, right?"

"No. I'm not doing internships. Stop asking."

"That's not what I meant! You can just tell them, or I could, it's not that hard to explain. Just say i'm all- powerful or some play on words like 'she's got all the right elements' hehe, see how i mimicked your voice there?" Y/n grinned like a child. She was proud of herself. 

"No. Still not happening."

"I wanna be an intern too, you raggedy ann looking ass hoe" 

"Y/n, it doesn't make sense, insulting me to get what you want?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I bet you feel real insecure about your hair right now."

"You already have detention, what more do you want!"

"An internship, I wanna do one with kamui Woods, I have a good reason, too. As far as my quirk control, i'm the weakest with earth, the aspect that allows me to grow and manipulate plants and stuff. That's why I've only been using that part of it all month. Im trying to get her up to speed so I can start using all four at once. He is like a tres guy, right? He manipulates earth all day long. He could teach me a lot, and that aspect of my quirk would suit his well. Please!?!?!?"

If the girl had just asked again in a normal way, his answer would have been the same. However Aizawa was taken aback to hear how much thought she put into this. From the stories of the teachers lounge, he came to understand her big life goal, was to rely fully on a rich man or woman, and do nothing at all forever. Just to try and forget about the terrible life she was destined to have because of that quirk.

This side of her was something he could not even her mother had seen, and it prompted him to speak those words she wanted to hear so badly.

"Fine." 

#bakugou x you #bakugou x reader #bakusquad #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #mha fanfiction #mha fluff

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: You got no business looking that good Rio: This is a religious holiday Buster: Don't look at me like that Buster: You're being unholy yourself, like Rio: Ha, try and make me stop Rio: we're fine, everyone's too busy with their lamb, thanks da Buster: You might be fine but I'm eventually gonna have to get up from this table Rio: You want me to pass you some water, babe? Buster: Don't you dare Rio: Salt? The peas? Buster: Behave Rio: But I'm bored Rio: and you're hot Buster: Well, bored isn't the word for how you're making me feel Buster: And don't start me on how you fucking look Rio: But I need to know what you're thinking Buster: But I thought you knew everything, babe Buster: Losing your touch already, like Rio: You want me to show you I ain't here and now? Rio: Well, okay Buster: Okay Buster: Go on Rio: Damn, been a while since I had to play footsie Buster: If you aren't up to it, like Rio: Please Rio: You know I could get you off from here if I wanted to Buster: You promising or warning me? Rio: Neither Rio: 😇 naturally Rio: wish it was though Buster: I wish you were on my lap right now Rio: Baby 😩 Rio: Play nice Buster: 😇 Buster: Get me a drink, yeah? I wanna see more of you Rio: What you want? Buster: Surprise me Rio: Stick to your usual Rio: Raising enough eyebrows being civil, never mind if I get you a 🍸 Buster: 😂 Buster: I can throw it back in your face if you like Buster: Be very uncivil Rio: 😂 Rio: I know you want me on you but you want it that bad you'll settle for a fat lip Buster: I'll take it if you call me later to make up Rio: Face that cute? I could never Rio: Though makeup sex is always worth it Buster: Never say never, babe Rio: You planning to get me that mad already? Buster: Like you said, we're raising eyebrows otherwise Rio: Hmpf Buster: Don't look at me like that either Rio: I can't help it Rio: I want you Rio: I hate pretending otherwise Rio: even though we gotta, obvs Buster: I know, babe Buster: There's gotta be something this fam is running low on so I can be a gent and take you to buy more Rio: Not fucking eggs that's for sure, think they've forgotten we ain't kids anymore Rio: the haul Jay's gonna walk away with will last her 'til she's at least 2 Buster: Maybe if I leave them here Buster: Chlo ain't got the willpower or memo that she ain't a kid herself Buster: I'd offer to keep drinking so we run out but I already don't trust myself around you Rio: Wouldn't be a proper function if someone didn't get wasted and disgrace themselves Rio: Put you to bed before you properly drag us both down, don't worry babe Buster: Don't, I need you to take me to bed Buster: or anywhere else Rio: I know Rio: I'll think of something Buster: Couldn't you have worn a church look or whatever Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: This is my church look Rio: turning it out for Jesus 💁 Buster: 'Course Buster: Ready to pray, yeah? Rio: Think pretending I dropped something only works in the porn but I'm game to see if you are Buster: I'm game for everything Rio: I know Rio: Thank fuck 🙌🙏 Buster: Am I a bad person if I use my kid as an excuse to leave? Rio: Hmm Rio: Probably but church portion of the day well out the way so even the big man can't be judging Buster: Fuck I can't though, can I? She's loving all this Rio: Yeah, bless her Buster: Least she's too young to know that her mum didn't contribute to the easter basket or even wish her a happy one Buster: Too busy flirting with me, like Rio: 😒 Rio: Bitch Buster: I told her me and Erin broke up 'cause there was someone else but she only heard the first part, obviously Buster: Not even any of her business what I do but that's a whole other story Rio: That'll be fun then, thinking she's got more of a chance than she usually does Rio: How does she not die of shame, like Buster: She'll outlive everyone Buster: Just to fuck me off Rio: 😂 Rio: all those spa trips Rio: going to the fucking fountain of youth Buster: Honestly Buster: I'm gonna need a buy myself a spa if she goes through with her plan to come here and pick Jay up Rio: 😬 Rio: least I get to see her best attempt at a seduce 'em 'fit Rio: see what I'm up against, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Indie's got more game and she's a kid Rio: pass on the compliment Rio: full of the joys of spring, babe Buster: She'll love that. I've seen her looking at me when I'm trying not to look at you Rio: Can't blame her Rio: You look especially good rn Buster: Still not on your level, babe Buster: You're so fucking beautiful Rio: Don't Rio: gonna make me blush Buster: I have to Buster: You need to know Rio: Baby Rio: Come find me in 5 idc Rio: I've got to see you properly Buster: Where? Rio: The studio upstairs Rio: there's old toys and shit in there that we can be trying to find Buster: and good lighting Buster: 'cause you know I wanna see you properly too Rio: Exactly Rio: you can appreciate fully Buster: I'm really appreciating how loud this fam is right now Rio: Got their uses Buster: If Jay gets much more hype there ain't nothing I couldn't do that they'd pick up on Rio: She's stealing your thunder, it true Rio: everyone too 😍 to notice us Buster: Good Buster: I only want you to notice me anyway Buster: No offense Indie Rio: Trust, I've not been able to focus on anything else Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Me either but still gonna make you 😏 Buster: Go Buster: I'll see you in 5 Rio: 👋 Buster: I can't believe we actually got away with that Buster: Again Rio: We're just that good Rio: or they're just really deaf Buster: I like option 1 Buster: You're so good, Rio Rio: You too baby Rio: No matter how many times you make me cum, never enough, like Rio: mad Buster: What are you doing later? Buster: Come over and I won't stop Rio: Got a shift but can probably pop 'round after and Indie won't be home yet to clock I'm not Rio: thinks I got a mans anyway so Buster: As long as you don't wake Jay you can come over when you want Buster: Yeah? What did you tell her Rio: Of course Rio: 😶😇 Rio: Oh, that I've been fucking you, obviously Buster: Cheers for making me choke on my drink like a soft cunt, babe Buster: Hilarious Buster: Grandad's looking at me like I killed a bloke Rio: 😂 sacrilege to not be able to handle your drink in this fam Rio: just can't handle my bants, soz babe Buster: He'd rather I did someone over with my glass, I know Rio: Questionable ethics for a easter egg hunt for kiddos but go off, old man Buster: 😂 Buster: Gotta keep that competitive edge Rio: Don't, this lot need a referee Rio: putting Indie and Jan on time out Buster: I volunteer Grace Buster: Imagine like Rio: Definition of lamb to the slaughter Rio: appropriate for today but poor girl 😂 Buster: I'll cut her some slack, she's good with my kid Rio: Yeah Rio: who doesn't love a cute new baby Rio: programmed to in this fam Buster: True Buster: Only reason I ain't disinherited Rio: Weren't you're 'rents basically your age anyway? Rio: Can't judge when you make the same mistakes, just be very, very disappointed on the low 😜 Buster: Different story that we're all sick of hearing though, ain't it? Buster: My dad was in love with my mum when he was like 7 Rio: 'bout to say that's a madness but did mine really mature much in those 8 years like? Rio: 🙄 mental, all of 'em Buster: This fucking fam 🙄🙄 Buster: I'd rather be like Chlo who Rio: As much as she is that forgettable, defs not gonna happen on her watch is it Buster: She's still flirting Buster: Give it up, babe Buster: But like don't Rio: Pretend to be your new crazy gf if you wanna Rio: losing her mind searching for socials that don't exist Buster: Please Rio: Easy Rio: Comforted enough of my friends when they're in the wrong to know how to go off Buster: Come through for me then Rio: Fun Rio: Lemme hit up Grace for her straighteners Buster: She'll be buzzing Rio: Forreal, always trying to come for my hair Buster: 😒 Rio: Probably does look a mess now no thanks to you Rio: like bitch, you been dragged through a hedge backwards what's good Buster: Shut up Buster: You know you look good Rio: You might've mentioned a few times 😋 Buster: I'll show you a few more times if you need me to Buster: Just say the word, like Rio: Trying to get me to say the p word Rio: Gonna have to do better Buster: If I was trying you'd have already said it Rio: Promises, promises Rio: Can have that one for free Buster: Well, can't exactly promise to bend you over the table, much as I might wanna Rio: Buster Rio: Why put that in my head when I'm here having to wash up with the mas Buster: It's been in mine since I got here Rio: ugh Rio: either come help or go away Rio: can't have you near me if you're not gonna be near enough Buster: I like you but I don't like you that much Buster: I'll go do some daddy duties like Rio: 😂 Rio: fucking cheek Rio: good luck getting her away from your ma, that manicures too expensive for our dishwater, like Buster: It's not all you, I ain't about to leave my watch lying around this lot either Rio: have your hand off for it like Rio: didn't you know you were coming to the 24 Buster: I had tunnel vision, didn't I? Rio: Good Rio: how I like it Buster: I know Rio: What else do you know Buster: I know I want to be alone with you Rio: Tonight Buster: Yeah Buster: Unless you've got a better offer all of a sudden, that is Rio: You what? Buster: What I said Rio: Yeah but Rio: No, not since you last checked in like, 10 minutes ago, we're still on babe 😂 Buster: Says you but your phone been blowing up since then Buster: So whatever Rio: It's literally Indie Rio: Told you she's Sherlocking me Rio: Was you jealous? Buster: Fuck off Buster: 'Course not Rio: Awww Rio: How cute Buster: Shut up no Rio: Yeah you were Rio: s'okay, you know you got no reason to be now and i can't tell no one anyway Buster: I always knew I had no reason to be, babe, I ain't no proper competition Buster: That's why I wasn't Rio: Oh, really? Rio: Well then, I won't make an extra special effort to show you how much you do not need to be jealous Rio: Cool with me Buster: Behave Buster: No need to go that far, babe Buster: You can still show me something Rio: Idk now Rio: catch me going through my contacts like 🤔🤔🤔 Rio: got me thinkin' Buster: Yeah you do Buster: You know you won't get better than this right here Rio: Yeah Rio: so you still gonna let me have it or are you too pouty now? Buster: Yeah 'cause you obviously need me to remind you how good you got it with me Rio: Don't but want it so Rio: Please Buster: Let's go then Buster: I'll get Jay ready and follow you out Rio: Can't yet Rio: In fact, brb for a sec Buster: Seriously? Rio: [Suitable amount of time to have a smoke later] Rio: Back Rio: Indie needed some TLC Buster: I reckon you meant THC Rio: That too Buster: You wanna go now? Rio: Reckon this party's pretty much over Rio: got the 🍫 let's ride Buster: I can say I'm giving you a ride yeah? That's just gentlemanly Buster: Otherwise you'll freeze to death waiting around the corner Rio: I appreciate you resisting the urge to make a joke about me working the corner this time, like Rio: much obliged 👍 Rio: yeah, that seems normal and not suspicious Buster: Well, don't actually want that fat lip you threatened me with earlier Buster: Even if you would kiss it better Rio: For a whitey, your lips aren't bad Rio: so I'll leave you how you are 😘 Buster: Cheers Rio: Please tell me there's no family functions for a while? Rio: Hard work not being able to be on you Buster: Christ knows with this fam that I can't make that promise Buster: But I swear you'll never have to wait long for me to come find you whenever there is Rio: Now, THAT'S a promise Buster: And you can hold me to it, babe Rio: I will