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#the second half really is something

ladystoneboobs · 1 month

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no of fence to jon snow fans who for some reason care about his exact age, but these discussions just annoy me no end. not only bc there's no way any weirwood flashbacks bran has to rhaegar/lyanna will come with time/datestamps, but also bc there's always comments like this:

SEVERAL turns of the moon (ie, months)?! have these people never seen a human baby before or just have no concept of their ages? even if we take into account travel time from the toj to wf, meaning jon was not a newborn too fresh out the oven when catelyn and robb arrived, there's still a difference between a newborn and a 3mo and an even bigger difference between those infants and an older baby 5-7mo. there's very good reasons these lines were cut. whatever birthdates can be worked out internally for jon and robb from when they're first mentioned as 15 and 16 don't matter in the end, bc grrm doesn't care about a consistent timeline and the actual text of catelyn's pov and ned's convo with robert about cheating on her should outweigh any guesstimates about jon's official nameday wrt robb's. catelyn may not have cared for jon, but she would sure as hell have noticed his nameday if it came before robb's and made him ned's firstborn. if jon's birthday canonically came before robb's then either ned's cover story would not involve adultery (not impossible for him to sire a bastard before his wedding), or he'd just give jon a new nameday along with his new name to fit the adultery lie. it makes no sense for him to lie about one and not the other, undermining the big lie with a little public clue of his story not adding up. whatever else she was as a stepmother, cat wasn't stupid and a bastard who was actually the eldest son being raised alongside her trueborn heir could be an even bigger insult than whether he was born of adultery or not.

BUT, the unknowability of jon's true birthday is not the only reason this annoys me, it's bc this is all based on the assumption that jon must be older since rhaegar/lyanna ran off together before ned married cat, as if both boys must have been conceived asap as robb canonically was when his parents consummated their marriage. and that's not how human reproduction works! even if you don't understand how fast babies grow in the first year, you should know that people who get pregnant do so through ovulation cycles and a lucky sperm finding an egg and all that, not just immediately getting knocked up as soon as one has p-in-v sex for the first time. not unless you only know mean girls sex ed where if you have sex you will get pregnant and die. (even tho lyanna did die, there's plenty of canon examples where pregnancy did not lead straight to death. also examples of people who did not get pregnant right away and even some who are/were sexually active and childless without always having moon tea on hand.) we can't know how long lyanna was having sex before that sperm+egg match happened or even how long she was with rhaegar before losing her technical virginity. if they were married, doesn't it make sense to think they didn't consummate their relationship until the wedding night either? that's the only leverage there is to ensure a status as wife rather than just mistress.

and while i just said grrm doesn't care about exact timelines and a lot is still foggy surrounding the rebellion and esp rhaegar, there is one timemarker wrt robert's rebellion he voluntarily threw in, time and time again: that stannis was besieged at storm's end for almost a whole year. that siege, which mind you, did not match the duration of the entire war. it only started after robert won his battles at gulltown and summerhall, returned to storm's end, and then went out and lost the battle of ashford, leaving his homeland open to the reachermen. the same siege which only ended when ned made a detour there after the sack of king's landing, before going to the toj. even if lyanna may not have given birth that exact day ned found her, she could only be waiting in that bloody bed for weeks at the most, not months. so if rhaegar knocked her up the very same night he carried her off and jon was still a newborn when ned found her after the siege of storm's end had ended, wouldn't that mean lyanna was pregnant for well over a year? that's not how human pregnancy works either! so, maybe that's proof that jon and robb, whichever order they were actually born in, were actually very close in age as babies, much closer than if they were both conceived asap.

and really, jon's actual birthdate does not matter imho, when he was raised not just as the bastard to robb's trueborn heir, but with robb also known by catelyn and the world as ned's firstborn (which he was, in any case, as jon was ned's nephew by birth). what difference could a birthdate before robb's make (even were there some means of discovery) after ned, cat, and robb are all dead? if one is looking only at his birth parents then he's only a firstborn child on lyanna's side, but definitely a second son on rhaegar's side. maybe he was always meant to be a second son with a not much older half-brother! even if the aegon fka young griff is not in fact rhaegar's son, he'll still be known as aegon vi targaryen, meaning jon will never be known as any father's elder son. if i may reference mean girls again, it's not going to happen.

#valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #robb stark #jonathan snowflake starkgaryen #i want him to succeed me as king in the north #jon snow #ned stark #lyanna stark #like this isn't prompted by anyone except that reddit post and its comments this has just annoyed me for so long #that's why i made that show!robb/show!jon coming of age gifset years ago bc narratively jon is always a second son #bc robb did everything first as elder bro and the only milestones jon will hit first will be the those robb can't since he's dead for good #(obviously starting with jon being first male stark to be brought back from the dead)#not that everyone interested in this debate thinks this way but it just feels tied to the idea of jon being a trueborn heir #not only was he never a bastard he was an eldest boy! eldest surviving boy with those pesky half-dornish sibs gone! point missed.#sorry i just dont think grrm means for a targ restoration with king jon any more than fake eldest boy kendall roy could win his succession #(c)lsb #i had to look up all the quotes on the big storm's end siege bc it makes me feel like i'm taking crazy pills #thinking what abt stannis starving for a year while others are like we just can't know how long rr was. was it even 9mons?#like yeah lollys's pregnancy doesn't add up but bc grrm really slowed the tl down postacok prob w/o really thinking #thats diff from repeatedly saying something lasted almost a year when he didn't have to give such a timeframe!

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rat-presenting · 6 months

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My only wwdits prediction at this point is if they’re gonna double down on having Guillermo stay mortal then the setup for endgame is going to be a kind of Gregor situation where every lifetime from now on Nandor will find Guillermo, they fall in love, stay together until Guillermo keels over from old age or related vampire shenanigans, and then finds him again when he reincarnates.

That or they do the thing someone else mentioned where he does end up a vampire but Nandor just does all the murdering for him and brings him blood and stuff as a parallel to how Guillermo waited on Nandor for years as a familiar or whatever..

#I obviously hope it’ll be the second one but I know the first one is probably closer #I refuse to believe Guillermo is normal enough actually be a human forever #just because he never *technically* killed anyone doesn’t mean his body count is not easily in the thousands by now #honestly at this point I won’t get my hopes up for anything come s6 #but all I can do is PRAY that they stop treating Guillermo like the shitwork familiar because honest to god.#there’s no way that’s what the relationship he has with anyone is anymore #if they go back to weaponizing the status quo I will honestly probably quit watching the fuckimg show #I’ve been watching 4 years of situationship hell where everyone treats the one half of the party like shit it’s really getting old #like the writers surely aren’t so incompetent that they CANT READ THE ROOM and do something with YEARS of buildup #textpost #wwdits #nandermo

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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 7 months

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Day 1: Beginning/End

The Empire of Samadhi AU

Pt. 1 (you are here) | Pt. 2 |

(This is day 1 of the Monkie Destiny Challenge Prompt Month October 2023)

Wordcount: 2k

Summary: Red Son is the son of an old empire, Mei is the daughter of a new one. Red Son, consumed by fire, was put into an induced stasis sleep to stop the world from burning until his family can find a way to safely remove the fire. They find a way but he never wakes up. Hundreds of years later he awakes to discover his power resides within another as she stares at him with wide eyes on fire.

When Red Son met the heir to the Dragon Empire of the Western Sea, it was the beginning of the end.

Red Son remembered the smell of fire melting flesh, more horrid than anything he’d experienced before. He remembered burning his mothers and his fathers hands. He remembered laughing. He remembered screaming.

Red Son was born a prince and he was born with fire.

Like him, his power had been small to begin with. His Father’s Empire was a warring one. It was how it came to be. He was a Warlord who became an Emperor and his wife, Red Son’s mother was the princess of a distant empire that he failed to conquer, partially due to Red Son’s mother herself. Red Son was their son, the heir to the throne and future emperor.

“You must be strong,” his father told him after every tale of conquest. “For when you rule, there will be those who oppose your authority. You must take it. They can do nothing to you if you are more powerful than those that seek to destroy you.”

It had never been Red Son’s intention to be consumed by his quest for power. It had begun like any other learning did, with scrolls and lectures and teachings and teachers. The flame alight inside him grew brighter and brighter with every meditation, every new technique and lesson learned. It grew in heat and size until he could feel it down to his fingers, heat coursing through him and roaring. He sought more and more, at the beginning, dragging himself forward by sheer force of will until there was a shift and his fire suddenly pushed him forward, propelling him into greatness, into conquest, into the raging inferno of power.

A power that grew too quickly and soon consumed him and everyone around him as well. Until his parents voices were muffled and faces were blurred by heat and flame and he heard nothing but the tearing chants of flame; consume, consume, consume.

Voices muffled, his laughter loud as their chains melted before they could touch him. Fire could not be contained, it was everything. They could not put it out.

They could not put it out, but they could lock it away, and him with it.

“I swear to you,” his father said. “I will return for you.”

His hands were the last thing Red Son felt before he ceased to exist.

When he awoke, he knew something was wrong.

He was cold.

Never in his life had he felt cold. Never in his life had he existed without a burning in his chest and a warmth in his core. But he awoke and his chest was gaping and empty. But his mind was clear. Clearer than it had been in a long time. The settled feeling of his fire within him was absent. Gone. He could tell it wasn’t inside him any longer. But he could feel its presence nearby.

Warmth hovered just close enough to brush his skin. He heard the crackling of flame.

His eyes snapped open.

Wide fire filled eyes stared back.

Whoever it was in front of him was engulfed in flame.

“Help,” she choked out.

“What have you done?” was the first thing out of his mouth. His voice sounded raspy, dry, the words rusty and unfamiliar.

The cave behind her was on fire. Everything, absolutely everything, was engulfed in flame. The roaring fire filled his vision and licked at his clothes and over his skin. None of it stuck to him, none of it could burn. The flames still knew him. They wrapped around him and he heard their recognition, their greeting, their call.

He looked at the soul in front of him, engulfed in his flame and he recognized a part of himself inside it that was causing the flames to stick to her skin.

He grabbed her face and reached out with his will to hers, grabbing hold of his fire inside her and reigning it in, wrapping it in a net of his mind and will and pushing it down.

It was easier than he remembered. Something had changed.

…He had changed.

She made a choking noise, eyes wide and tears evaporating before they had a chance to run down her cheeks.

“Breath, you fool,” Red Son said.

She gasped.

The fire around them died, the flames fluttering away to nothing, and without another word the woman lost consciousness falling into him.

Red Son was left with an unconscious person in his arms, the smell of ash and stone surrounding him, and the blackened cavern empty aside from the two of them.

His mouth was dry.

He coughed a few times before bothering to exit his small Red-Son-shaped hole carved out in the stone. There were spells carved into the stone around it, likely what had sealed him in.

He managed to drag them both out of the cave. With one arm around her waist and the other around her wrist ensuring the arm slung over his shoulders wouldn’t slip he staggered forward. His legs felt unreliable, unused, unsteady. His body shook and he found himself ravenously hungry. He reached the surface and found nothing but ashes.

It was a level of devastation that challenged anything he’d ever done. Everything was burnt, there was nothing but a wide expanse of blackened dirt in sight. No trees, no hills, no people as far as the eye could see. The sun was clouded out by smoke, sky appearing orange and making it hard to tell the time. The horizon was lit with a distant ember of what he was sure had to be a raging fire if he could see it from such a distance away. He gripped the woman’s wrist tightly.

“What,” he hissed out, “happened here.”

Silence and smouldering ashes were all that met his ears.

Mei woke up feeling as though there had been a fire in her throat. Scratchy dry and aching. Every part of her felt like she’d sat in front of a fire for too long and been cooked part-way. It was a nice feeling when she spent time with her great-great-great-a-thousand-times-great-great Grandfather… but right now it was a reminder of what had happened to make her feel so.

Fire.

She could still feel it, burning in her chest. The rings floated above her head, slowly circling, almost threatening in their movement. Their power was clear and heavy, weighing down and nearly vibrating with the barely contained inferno.

The inferno that destroyed her home.

She watched her tears evaporate into mist that floated up above her and faded away into nothing.

For a moment, she wished the flames had consumed her too.

“Oh, wonderful, you’re awake,” came a voice dripping with a disgusting sarcasm.

Mei jolted upright, the rings catching fire above her with her alarm. Panic shot through her and she reached up to try and put them out.

“Don’t touch those, idiot. You’ll just make it worse.”

Her head snapped to look at him.

And there he stood.

The Demon of Samadhi, his hair redder than a summer sunset, his eyes sharper than flint and steel, his arms crossed over his chest, and a sour expression on his face. Mei had thought she had dreamed it up, stumbling to the caverns she used to explore as a child, drawn by curiosity she’d thought at the time, but now knew was something different, with ashes and smoke trailing behind her rock melting under her feet until she’d drawn close and the spells surrounding his tomb had melted too and his face had come into view. Aside from his hair and clothes from another era, he looked like a normal person.

“You should be dead,” he said, like he was disappointed she wasn’t.

The flame in her flickered with her annoyance.

“And you should be quiet,” she snapped back.

“Insolent-” He looked like he was a moment away from bursting into flame, seething at her, but there was none of the fabled fire flickering in his eyes, they remained cold and empty. “Do you have any idea who you’re speaking to-?”

“Listen, buddy,” Mei interrupted him. He made a sound close to a squawk and she ignored him. “It's been a long day, okay? So if you could just tell me where we are before I barbecue you, that would be great.”

He scoffed again. “Your threats are meaningless, girl. That’s my fire you have there. It can’t hurt me, I made it.”

She glanced up at the rings. Then back down at him.

“You know,” she said. “You’re shorter than I thought you’d be.”

The offence on his face almost made her laugh.

“Were it not for the fact you are the current vessel for my fire, I would kill you here and now.”

“Yeah,” Mei said, “good luck with that buddy.” She groaned as she pushed herself to her feet and stood up, stretching. The rings flickered. She glanced at them. “Why don’t you just take your fire back and I’ll be on my way, huh?”

He was silent.

She looked at him.

He tsked, looking away sharply. “I already tried that, peasant.”

Mei blinked. “What do you mean you already tried?”

“While you were sleeping I attempted to pull it from you. My will alone is not enough to remove it from its current vessel. It’s stubborn.”

Mei barked out a laugh. “The big and powerful Demon of Samadhi can’t take his own fire back?”

“What nonsense-?” He bristled. “I don’t know how but it seems attached to you. I don’t know how you managed to fasten it to you so thoroughly in so little time, but I assure you, I will find a way to take it back.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, guy,” Mei said, glancing around them. They weren’t in the cavern anymore. They were out in the open and there was…

Nothing.

Something big seemed to lodge in Mei’s chest.

There was nothing but ashes.

In the distance there was a glow of fire.

“I have to stop it.” She wasn’t sure when she had started hyperventilating, but now she was gasping, staggering forward towards the fire. It seemed to get brighter.

“Stop that,” hissed the Demon of Samdhi, grabbing her wrist. “You’re making it worse-”

His hand around her wrist burned.

Rings surrounding her, triggered by a spell, a dormant fire lighting inside her and consuming everything, people screaming Mei screaming.

She gasped and ripped her hand away.

The Demon of Samadhi took a step back, arm raised almost defensively. He stared at her, slightly more cautious now.

“How long have you had my fire…?”

She blinked. “I…”

“How long have you had it?” he asked again--demanded.

“I don’t know,” she stammered. “Not long? A few days?”

“No, I'm not asking when it was triggered,” he grabbed the front of her shirt and dragged her closer to snarl at her, “I’m asking how long you've had it.”

Mei could only stare at him for a moment, too caught off guard to break his wrist for grabbing her.

Abruptly the Demon of Samadhi released her shirt and started pacing back and forth. He ran his hand through his hair. He looked… unsettled. Furious.

“One of my ancestors had it before me,” Mei said slowly. “I think I inherited it-”

His head whipped around to look at her. “Your ancestor?” His eyes were wide, angry.

…Afraid.

“You…” Mei suddenly realized that if the myths were true… the Demon of Samadhi would have no idea how long he’d been sealed away.

He glowered at her. “I what?”

“I should introduce myself,” said Mei, straightening up. “I am Lóng Xiǎo Jiāo , First Princess of the Dragon Empire of the West Sea, descendant of Áo Liè of the Dragon Clan who sealed away the Demon of Samdhi’s fire, placing a piece of it inside of himself, like, I dunno, a couple hundred years ago? It was passed down, unknown to his family, until it came to me.

“And you,” she finished, "are the Demon of Samadhi.”

The Demon of Samdhi stared at her. “What.”

“You got anything to eat?” Mei asked.

Prompt list

#KNOX WRITES (me)#Monkie Kid the Empire of Samadhi AU #Lego Monkie Kid #I guess you could say this is an apocalyptic au #Monkie Kid Mei #Monkie Kid Red Son #no i have no idea what i'm doing #Monkie Destiny Challenge (2023)#not really sure how to tag this but ITS FINE HGLSKDJFD #ngl i don't remember half of what we wrote but its prompt month so its fine if it doesn't make sense mOVING ON HAVE A LOVELY DAY #me: time to do something silly goofy for prompt month #I had this au all of ten seconds later forming before my eeys and i could do nothing to stop it hGL;KSJDF

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tachvintlogic · 7 months

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In Sword Art Online Abridged episode 17 at the time 17:04, there's a moment where there are two people and one of them says "I don't mean to brag but... I'm deathly allergic to the latex~~"

Which is just a bizarre line for some random background character to say, but it goes deeper than that. In the post-mortem stream for the episode at the time 2:28:32, they mention that the second person was supposed to have a line in response, but they never got someone to voice the other character so they just cut it even though it was a great line.

What was the other person supposed to say in response?

"Oh, how exotic."

And that line has been bouncing around in my head ever since because it's fucking amazing and it should've been in the episode because— just— what?! How is that a brag? Why are you saying it so flirtatiously? Why is the other person into it? How is that hot?????? How is being allergic to latex exotic????????

#sword art online abridged #saoa #sao abridged #something witty entertainment #this entire series is great #they turned some really bad plot beats into an arc that's so fucking good #the swe team is great at writing teenagers who are both mature but not mature enough #the whole brother-sister conflict in this second half has been great

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museenkuss · 6 months

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loving and moving my body this week (06.11.-12.11.)*

Monday. 20 MIN EVENING PILATES TO RELAX AND FEEL CALM - EASY AT HOME WORKOUT

Tuesday. Beginners Belly Dance Tutorial | Beautiful Hips & Arms!

Wednesday. Everyday Pilates Mobility and Stretch | Posture, Hips and Hamstrings

Thursday. Victoria's Secret Train Like An Angel Live: Martha Hunt + Ballet Beautiful

Friday. 20 MIN FULL BODY PILATES WORKOUT FOR BEGINNERS - AT HOME PILATES or Waistline Shimmy | Belly Dance Workout

Saturday. 30 MIN FULL BODY PILATES WORKOUT FOR EVERYBODY - AT HOME PILATES

Sunday. "Chocoholics" Valentine's Day Waist Winding Workout

* the idea here was to find fun little ways to stay active according to my schedule this week. This is completely 'no suffering, joy only'. :)

In case the suggestion doesn't feel right for that day, here are some alternatives (12 minutes or less, can also be used as add-ons). No shame in taking it slow! Let's move according to our needs! :) nightime flexibility stretches // bedtime yoga stretch to release stress & tension // 8 min beginner's ballet flexibility. // 10 min | Beginner Belly Dance Workout | Slow & Smooth Tutorial // 15 min Gentle Pilates Workout For Beginners

#my personal highlights for this week are - well. most of them tbh.#the Saturday one is new and I don't think I've done 30 minutes with Isa before? that's exciting.#I'm also really looking forwards to the Victoria's Secret Angel one. I've been meaning to try those videos for SO long and never did #so this is my excuse to finally do it! <3 I'm excited. If it's too hard I'll most likely add it again a few times #like the waist shimmy vid! I thought I might add it in the evening during the second half of the week whenever I feel like it #we'll see how often I really end up doing it hah.#but I also wanted to add something new so I put a new one on Tuesday. exciting!!!#I really liked Lottie's energy - I tried her for the first time last week and liked it a lot! she explains things very well imo.#I'm excited about Wednesday's stretching one in particular because i've been MEANING to add more stretching to my routine #and oooooh I'm pumped for Sunday again!!! I remember doing this one a WHILE back and I just love Tiffany #I feel like she's perfect for sundays with her high energy dancer sensuality and this looks so fun!!#I try to balance new things / dancing / pilates -- relaxation / energy #Museenkuss #Workout

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second-place-showdown · 1 year

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welcome to the second place showdown!

are you tired of your blorbos making it so far in a poll tournament only to lose in the in the last few rounds? well, guess what: here's your chance for revenge.

in this showdown, your character's very first opponent will be OF YOUR CHOOSING. it can be a character from that's literally their enemy in the media OR their tumblr poll enemy who has defeated them one too many times... either way, you will have your victory.

(if they lose, which they shouldn't, i'll see whether or not y'all would prefer i auto proceed them anyways or if i let the winner move on fair and square)

submit your poor little characters here. may the odds be ever in your favor

rules:

the standard - no real people unless it's funny, no spamming one character, etc. but feel free to submit as many as you like!

characters that HAVE LOST. i will be removing them if they have won a tournament before

this account was made for jinx after i saw her lose twice in a day. nepotismically added to the bracket. feel free to add her anyways though i would love to see peoples' thoughts

propaganda encouraged! it can be whatever you want, such as screenshots of your favorites losing polls for pity points

inspired by: @matricideawards, @problematicfavecompetition, @tragicsibsshowdown, @beautiful-boy-bracket, @handsome-girl-competition, @redandbluebracket, etc.

#second place showdown #tumblr polls #the first three @s are ones where jinx has lost...#half joking btw im not really mad i just want her to win something!#um and many other characters to win something too #jinx is just at the top of my mind bc she lost two polls today #anyways this isn't meant to be aggressive at all its just a little fun :)

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