#theres so much there for me and my special little loves

[pixiecaps]

recapping a bit of what haru said on stream

haru on her stream spoke about how shes had a really awful past five years and all her experiences just from this past year has been incredible. she gave a massive thank you to everyone and that she has no regrets.

“i never imagined i’d be where i am right now and i mean it with all my heart thank you so much. i had a very good time and i hope to have made you guys happy.”

she mentioned that since she was young shes always wanted to make content that makes people happy because she felt the world was missing a lot of love so shes happy to have given the world a piece of her heart. she mentioned how shes met so many incredible people who motivated her to see the good parts of life. to have found even this little bit of sunshine has left her so grateful. she says thank you for all the kindness, all the moments, all the memories, all the words, everything. shes very happy and mentioned this has been a very special experience for her. she reminded her chat that theres always another day and to enjoy life to the maximum, to live, to love, to talk, to hug each other, to be happy always, and that all the beautiful happiness we’ve given her will be returned back to us. she continues to express her gratitude. she mentioned this is one of the most beautiful communities shes ever had the pleasure of meeting in the entire world. she goes on to include the spanish, portuguese, french, english, german, and korean community in that statement.

“there is love in all types of languages and that love needs to be shared.“

she said her words will never be enough to express all her gratitude. she gave a reminder to always keep being kind. her voice falters a couple times from all the emotions. she mentioned shes cried enough and didn’t want to keep crying since she had something to do tomorrow and she didnt wanna have swollen eyes lmao.

she then shares a more personal moment. paraphrasing here.

“after i lost my dad i swear i felt like my life was falling apart. i never thought i’d be able to recover. after that many things happened and in those things, i wasnt destined to meet two people, this is a story i’ll always remember because i wasnt destined to meet these people. … they tell me hey the actor for this little thing didn’t show up and i say no way seriously? tell them to let me be it, tell them please because i want to be with you guys (harus two friends who were apart of the project). and i didnt think they’d agree… and they said yes. and i met two very important people and honestly (starts crying) thank you so much. thank you so much nussa. thanks to you i was able to meet them. i never imagined this would happen i promise you. thank you nussa. it means a lot to me that you decided to put me (into the leo spot). the only major thing in my life, i started being so happy, i started enjoying all the moments in my life as if it were the last, thanks to all this i’m here. and could meet you all. such a beautiful community.” she goes on to keep thanking nussa while crying and saying it was written in the stars. she goes on to say that shes gonna tell this as a story some day to her family, who doesnt know what she does or that she streams, and she’ll tell them about all of this with so much care and love. shes very thankful to have learned so much english and more about so many different cultures. she again reiterates shes very happy.

she also teases that she wants to go to brazil!!!! which… might be soon… and that theres little things being planned so hopefully if all goes well…👀 (an egg admin meetup would go so hard)

NOW GO SUPPORT HER ON TWITCH @ HarumiVT

#qsmp #harumivt

[mispronouncing-michaelangelo]

oops! i have done it a second time t-t

#songxiao #song lan #xiao xingchen #mdzs #the untamed #cql #yi city #my art (??) #OHKAY SO TURNS OUT I CANNOT RESIST DRAWING THEM LIKE THIS #i get bored and within fucking seconds i have a fully black screen and these two cunts #god i love them #i just love the way they are so brutally distanced from the other #theres so much there for me and my special little loves #but also like?? if i made a sticker of this would anyone want it??

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh.. #but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it #idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character #someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it #and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly #its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked #because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately #like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means #it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by #a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time #i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid #so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or #smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them #become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words #but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/ #a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened #especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that #need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta #once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it #circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it #actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt #i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me #that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly #mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them #have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP #IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL #yapping

[superlemonsweet]

Currently sobbing my eyes out from the paper crafts and handmade birthday cards my current and previous students made for me. I am a wreck.

#i am not okay #im in my feels #here i thought my birthdays were never really special #because someone important forgets or theres little to no celebration #but seeing all these cards and my students telling me they love me and sing to me #im feeling just pure joy #because i always worried about not being a great teacher #but their cards proved me wrong #i was always afraid i wasnt good enough and worried for their futures #THEYRE ONLY 2ND GRADERS BUT I WORRY REGARDLESS #idk if i could ever be a mom #because simply with my students i care so much for them

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(

#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me #shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain #i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together #and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad #its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too #bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both #of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment #about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange #and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me #im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like #really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only #other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but #my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already #idk. its interesting tho #unrelated

[emperorcartagia]

where is his emmy

#i actually cannot get into this because i wont stop but this shit is so damn good. #i love how big and scary his eyes get when he gets defensive #peter/londo absolutely ATE this scene too like... ACTING!!!! #its just so good its such good delicious food for meee yummy #i just love how intimidating londo is and how sinister he can be #weve been seeing how determined he is and how he schemes to get what he wants #but theres something special about seeing him knock a former ally down a couple pegs #but also bill forward is so god damn perfect for this role in every way its really great #he physically compliments londo in his apperance being taller being more thin his softer features in his face his smaller nose #he is essentially londos waluigi and i love it so much #it makes his role as a foil for londo even more apparent and striking. its perfect. #i love the little mannerisms he has when he acts as refa #his head movements #the nodding thing he does where he tucks his chin into his chest to get Serious #he carries himself in such an Alien way and it is perfect physical acting for a centauri character #he really understood this role and understood the character and i dont think anyone else could have played him #and gave the performance he did #he is soooo criminially underrated #the way that he barely blinks is so slimy and scary it is so fucking perfect. excuse me. #also as an aside #'ohhh londo' #i need to lie down. i hate him. #also refa and londos chemistry is actually insane in every scene they have i am locked the fuck in because theyre both so capitavting #and they work with each other So Well #i need to just write my damn essay on him and get it all out of my system because whew. #lots of thoughts for a guy in six episodes ! ! !

[starpros-sunshine]

seb. seb hes not smiling. and has a fatui background................

I knowwwwww he's still everything to me you do not know how smitten I am with Lyney as a character

#he's soooo #i love it when the silly magicuan has a mysterious past and isn't actually allll that silly #I'm a little angry at the traveler for reacting the way they did at the end if the archon quest ngl #how is Lyney so different from Ajax please explain to me why you think him beingba fatuus is unacceptable but Ajax can get away with almost #commiting genocide #i mean ik it's kimd of about the withholding of information but come on. #they were nothing but nice to you the entire time cut them some slack and give them the benefit of the doubt will you #and god lyney in his voicelines is so. is flirty the right word he certainly is very very friendly good god man #Lyney and Lynette can do no wrong in my opinion I'd forgive them about anything #i don't mind the fatui that much tbh i mean yeah sure as an organisation they're. bad. to say the least #but if we look at the individual fatuus it's just kinda. okay. #Dottore sucks sure I like Tartaglia i really like him he's a very interesting personality Signora is dead she doesn't concern me anymore #and I don't know enough about the rest #Arlecchino looks very promising though I'm very intrigued by her #and so far Lyney and Lynette just seem like two people who got caught up in the organisation i don't have their vackgrounds unlocked yet #but!!!! i am intrigued Oh so very intrigued #Venti Kaeya and Diluc are my favourite genshin characters they have such a special place in my heart they mean so much to me #but Lyney is my favourite character in terms of I am normal about him Fontaine has SUCH a good cast #we have the girls of all time we have the silly magician and the socially anxious diver and then theres Manfred von Karma #if he was a genuinely nice man that had a solid moral compass and was actually devoted to the concept of justice #I like Neuvillette he also seems very interested i would Love to know more about his relationship with Furina #and Furina!!!!!! she's so silly I adore her being all confident and then if cuts to her inner monologue and she's just losing it #i love that #I really really like Fontaine so far the only grievance I have is that they should've put more accordion into the soundtrack but that's #irrelevant in the face of the osts just all being absolutely gorgeous #yumefan🌠🎼

[borderpolar]

Hey so when I'm upset (like I am now) something that helps is to infodump about my special interests so anyway here's a spot where you can talk about your special interests in the tags!!!!! Go ahead!!! Have fun!!! I'm jumping in the tags right now as we speak!

#borderpolar speaks #actually neurodivergent #actually autistic #actually adhd #anyway as ive mentioned before my biggest special interest is succession and season 4 comes out on march 26th!!!!!! #and i cant wait to see all my favourite characters! im most excited to see kendall again my favourite poor little meow meow!!! #hell almost certainly cry again like he does every season and ill probably cry too tbh!!! #and then theres stewy and he got like 5 minutes of screen time or something in s3 #but arian moayed (who plays him) is like oh yeah theres gonna be much more stewy this season and there better be!!!! #he was so important to the plot of s1 and semi important to the plot of s2 so i hope hes a huge player this season #because its great to see him fuck shit up for the main characters (especially logan fuck that guy) #omggggg and tom and shivs marriage is on the rocks and that is going to be a HUGE source of tension that i cant wait to witness #even typing all this out is making me feel less upset because i love that show it makes me very happy!!!!!

[dykedragons]

i love making things for my friends!! i love it when my friends enjoy the things i make them!!!!!

#ramblies #i just appreciate them all so much. its the little things- the pins ive made them on their bags‚ the art ive made them as icons on socials #maybe its not much to them but its everything to me to know that the little things ive spent a little time making are worn #like badges of honor. its so special to me. #like‚ generally now i just feel so valued. my relationships are natural and reciprocal. #its like... finally!! THIS is what ive been fucking missing this whole time!! this ease!! #i dont need to prove myself‚ to compensate‚ to ask for reminders that im valued. they show me all the time. i never have to ask. #i dont know what happened. i dont know what changed from high school to now. i became a better person‚ i met better people? both. #i dont care how long it lasts or if its not this good forever. im just happy to be here. i finally feel worthy of this‚ without question #ive only known them for a few months but its the most secure ive ever felt. #maybe im oversharing!! i dont know!! i cant tell them outright ill overwhelm them!! its my blog and i can overshare if i want to!! #i dont know. im just grateful. #in other news i cleaned up my room a bit too‚ did lots of housework. always feels really cleansing. #after a stressful day yesterday this is what ive needed. a self care day. i have a lot of stuff to do but... it can wait while i rest lol #idk its just. so special to feel like i finally dont have to be the ''best'' or whatever to be loved. im loved as i am. #no arbitrary comparisons. its not conditional. i dont need to compete‚ i always feel like theres room. i hope we all thrive.

[cc-kote]

Me: Haha yeah man I'm totally normal about Clone Trooper Dogma. I'm so fucking Average about him like it's cool it's cool it's chill it's all G

Also me: *refused to reset my phone or let it die to get rid of a glitch image of him on my screen and let it go on for over a month, currently sitting on 3 fanfic wips, a hand full of ideas, a comic, a handful of art pieces, an animation meme script, a cosplay, a meticulously arranged playlist, two fan songs (one of which is the best piece of music I've ever created imo), and a character study that I've churned out in the last 2 months while frothing at the mouth for this stinky little bastart.*

#no actually tho this is normal i am autistic lmfao this is just How It Goes for some of us but heY #the autistic euphoria i get from making things related to my special guys is unmatched this is the best hobby ever im doing a little dance #@ Future me: never forget this feeling and remember this when you start to second guess yourself #this special interest (tcw) has inspired me enough to Create more than i have in years and im clinging to it for dear life #but also specifically dogma right now because theres just #oh boy theres so much #too much for a tag section rant lmao #i just love him and i love sw ok fuCK #screaming into the void

[welcometogrouchland]

Strategizing my silly show rewatches to see what will produce The Most Emotion in me. And then soundly debating on whether or not that's actually a good idea

#ramblings of a lunatic #I probably think abt this too hard. thats the tism for you! #I'm gonna finish frog show 1b and then probably rewatch some of the willow and amity centric eps of s1 #before starting 2A (but also i might rewatch eclipse lake AGAIN bc i watched it today and got reminded of how good it is- #-and then paused to be like. but what if i enhanced the experience even more) #the willow eps rewatch is in prep to rewatch asias (HELLO FAV EPPY SODE!!!) and as a treat to myself cause i love her- #-and theres so little of her in 2A (willow fans were genuinely the strongest ppl during this time. gus fans 2 but at least they got ttlgr) #BUT I ALSO LOVE AMITY she occasionally posseses my brain but not often! i normally leave the Amity scholarship to others on here #(namely eliot yardsards and smokey smokestarrule bc they have elevated amity opinions) #but i wanna study her like a bug myself sometimes!! eclipse lake reminded me of that. she's not well!!! #plus with some s1 eps back under my belt the blow of how fucking brutal s2B of the owl show is might be somewhat softened #it's my fav stretch of the show tho don't get it twisted. i love the slow build of 2A #AND the sheer marvel of quality despite circumstances that is s3 specials #and yes even the silliest of s1 eps #but 2B is just unbeatable to me personally. best emotions associated with it #but I am finishing s1 of frog show before i get to do All That #and then i might rewatch the rest of frog show to hold me down til the finale airs #tbh rewatching amphibia and remembering how much i love it and how insane it still makes me gives me comfort in the face of toh ending #just because something's over doesn't mean it stops giving you the same feelings that it did before or that you stop loving it! #obviously I'm hoping for more one day bc of how the show was cut short. i personally really want those comics danas talked about #but the show is still gonna be there when it's done and i can still be insane abt it for however long i want #and that's nice y'know? #oh god this got too sincere #ANYWAY. current watch pattern is going 1B of frog show -> bits of s1 and then 2B of owl show -> 2A frog -> s3 owl #fun times. owls and frogs

[waybrightgender]

is there any way that i can tell moirail that theyre definitely autistic or at least suggest that they look into it without sounding mean

#they walk with their arms straight at their sides they dont understand social cues their special interest is definitely herpetology #(hypothetical or otherwise) they tv talk all the time (although the tv is usually memes) they use scripts for most interactions they get #overwhelmed by loud noises and screw their eyes shut and cover their ears and rock back and forth when they happen #they dont like being touched all that much (which kinda sucks for me since thats my love language but its ok) idk their opinions on #eye contact but ill ask. ive just been taking notes for a while plus their mom is autistic (self diagnosed good for her) and idk if that #plays into anything but theres that #some more surface level things are that they like dragons and are ace and wear the same outfit every day basically or the same type at leas #(collared shirt and a skirt or leggings. or both. i saved them from jeans under a skirt at least) they like dnd and basically all their #friends are nd. ive observed that they drift to the neurodivergent ppl in a group and make fun of the neurotypical ones #so yeah. help. also a mean kid at golf camp called them autistic as an insult so idk how to say it w/o it sounding like that #like they were like “haha a kid called me autistic. isnt that crazy. im so neurotypical” and went on to call some reptile a “crocodilian” #and make everyone at the table watch multiple minute long videos of the same lizard they saw in hawaii #oh oh and ive noticed that they have hyperempathy but low emotional intelligence like they wont notice if im like super depressed but theyll #burst into tears if a lizard is held wrong. or if someone like throws a toy at a wall #and they hate little kids because theyre overwhelming and unpredictable

[pinkseas]

and for the second ask !! again lmk if anything i say here is like Too Much i will simply either delete that part or delete the whole thing i dont wanna say anything you’d rather i not

ngl i cant speak for too much bc i am Nawt in the xiaolumi community i kind of accidentally dug myself into a hole and i am holding hands with u and cherry cheruim as my most favoritest xiaolumi enjoyers ever and i am so content with it.... but i have seen 'they should kiss and get married already' time and time again ESPECIALLY with other pairings that i love to interpret as qprs (one specifically) (i live in shame) (that being said i am also So Right About Them) and i fully understand the sort of frustration/sadness that comes with it. bc ur right theres nothing wrong with romance kissing marriage w/e but to have it be so commonly and so easily seen as that “next step up” and the only way for them to become closer is so :[[[[

also seeing you say you admire what i can spill publicly is SO funny to me in ways i cannot explain without Really Truly oversharing <- and like yeah i have made them my entire personality at this point Oops but the biggest deepest reason they’re my whole personality...... well that is my little secret and in the meantime i will continue to adore them as a qpr and their emotional intimacy and the amount of trust they can have in each other and care and love without romance having literally anything to do with it <3 qpr endgame my [insert 10 million heart emojis here im not on my phone pensive]

#parasocial bestie tag #i hope i answered this Somewhat okay #im very tired and still mostly braindead so if theres any point i missed ur more than free to reiterate in my silly little inbox #i love the besties to death they put up with so much xiaolumi rambling from me but they arent on the same wavelength #and its just. been so nice talking to people who ARE and people who somehow interpret it the same way i do like. aaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!! #also spoiler i used to be a HUGE miraculous ladybug fan and adrien marinette qpr still has such a special place in my heart #i dont think i ever saw anything other than romance for them but i had this whole fic written up in my head #where they dated for a few weeks and it felt weird and forced and just. not right. and so they broke up #and the breakup was so REFRESHING and suddenly they were talking properly again and bantering and getting closer than ever #and without forcing the romance it allowed them to be so much happier and so much more free around each other and like it was a whole thing #<- nothing to do with anything its just secret aly lore for anyone who read this far into the tags #qprs my EVERYTHING for realsies

[gorefetishizer]

i think im probably good in small quantities

#ppl love me. ppl r rlly glad to be around me. but only in small quantities i think #if i let myslef be greedy with other ppls time i rlly cant keep myself from needing more and then more #i end up slipping and the. desesperation of my affection scares ppl #or just. idk. i only allow myself to want a few ppls company and end up. making them have to bear the weight of my. need of affection #but when im subdued when. when i keep myself away im very nice to be around. i dont ask for much and i will give a lot. gladly #i think my way of caring of loving is very nice for a little while it makes ppl feel special but i. cant keep it up. cuz its not #its not unninterested i desesperately want ppl to like me so i will give myself and then give myslef and theres not a lot left other that #the endless lonelyness with wich i carry basicaly. every action of mine #i. think i live in servitude in hopes someone will tell me theres nothing more important than. having me by their side. and be thanked #bit thats not happening #cuz thats not possible. ppl are always most important to themselves. wich is the right way to go on about life #living for other ppl its not healthy but i. dont know how to live other wise

[lunarcry]

ugh. (first is kitamotos pov, 2nd touko's

bonus nishimura but its not eyes

#stardust speaking ! #post. natsume #nishimuras ep also has the 'that was the first time he talked about himself' T_T #kitamotos 'normally ud be too embarrassed to say something like that. had natsume spent so little time around others he didnt understand #that?' as well as both nishimura and kitamoto enjoying showing natsume new things (to him!) so much that they kept bringing him along for #things. whihc i. iiiiiii ;_____; #i think its lovely. im very fond of these three #i dont rmbr nishimuras Exactly but i feel like kitamotos a bit more 'thats Not Normal' as well?!? with the window and curtain and bell?!? #nishimuras rly gets to me tho......nishimura whos very special to natsume cuz he was the first one to talk to him #nishimura who wants him to stop talking to the cat and speak to him instead #theres also the fujiwara ep with the frames where natsume is bandaged and looks so sad -> holding nyanko and smiling #'they said hes a bit unstable and he comes home injured a lot' gggg............... #'i have a home now' GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG #im actually not rewatching i was just looking thro my old screenshots to grab something for my pinned