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#these connections are real. ppl have genuinely said they miss me and it makes me happy knowing that it's a mutual feeling.
mirandahamilton · 1 year
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what were your thoughts on seven kings must die?
LOADED ass question lol
controversial mayhaps but i liked it well enough! in the sense that i was entertained, and i did get some satisfaction from my viewing experience.
positives:
i really loved the updated intro/credits!
finan's narration was a cool change
the acting! it was all hitting for me :) i think harry especially did a great job, imo he had the most character work to do and i really felt his conflict (maybe this is gay bias but idc). the new actress for eadgifu did a really good job as well, her character was consistent and i enjoyed her interactions with uhtred
the action sequences were very well done and i loved the battle
sets, costumes, hair/makeup...all looked great!!
the ending! loved the callback, and although i wish we'd seen more charcaters in valhalla ik most of the actors weren't available so it's cool. really enjoyed the ambiguity. althoooooough unlike most ppl i don't think uhtred went to valhalla at the end (would love to chat/debate on this one)
uhtred getting stabbed at the final battle....lowkey i was emotional esp when sihtric and finan found him and he was serving cunt dead
aethelflaed shoutout :( miss my wife and i think they did the female characters so dirty but i would have turned it off if they went to aegelesburg without even namedropping the queen
i really enjoyed osbert & edmund being besties (BUT their stories should have been more developed)
i go into my critique below lol but i won't apologize for unironically vibing with the catholic guilt evil homosexual drama. in many ways it hit for me and i shan't be issuing an apology
i loooooooved the new locations, especially the shetland islands
problematizing the christians 🙏
negatives:
WHERE the abject fuck were any of the women characters???????? STIORRA? hild? aelfwynn? aelswith?? eadith???????? like??? not even a shoutout????? make it make sense. this was the most offensive thing for me and i won't be getting over it anytime soon thanks
i wish we'd heard something about cynlaef and aelfwynn!!! wasn't he like besties with aethelstan?? would have been so easy to make it work smh
pacing :/ it was impossible to tell how the story was meant to be moving through a concrete sense of time. a quick look at the wikipedia for king aethelstan shows that there were years between his coronation and the battle of brunanburh, yet the movie makes it seem like from beginning to end the story takes less than a year? and it's also unclear how much time has supposedly past since the end of s5. it started off pretty slow, but regardless i was admittedly engrossed by the halfway mark
sloppy evil gay drama :/// like in some ways. listen. i am not complaining lol. but i think it would have worked much better with more breathing room. ingilmundr was just so clearly intro'd as a villain, and i would have preferred seeing some more subtlety and cunning over a period of time, plus some actual internal conflict for him. by his last line ("i grew fond of you, but my love for my people prevailed") it seems as though he did have some genuine affection for aethelstan, and even though he completed his mission in the end i wish there'd been more depth there.
also, fwiw and as other people have said, unhinged to go 5 seasons with no queer characters only to haphazardly throw a couple in the follow up film...and have them be villains!!! gay people CAN be villainous lmao but idk how intentional they were being about any of this
overall just felt rushed. there were a lot of parts that would have benefited from some breathing room and dramatic build up. plus we didn't get to connect with a lot of the characters, and the writers were relying on viewers to care based on the tv series -- mostly fine for our mains like uhtred & co, but a real disservice to the newer characters. even finan and sihtric didn't do much besides follow uhtred around, which is par for the course but i wish they'd had individual arcs. ingrith's death didn't hit that hard bc she barely had lines. aelfweard's too, and he needed to be built up as more of a threat (even tho his death is mainly supposed to serve as a character moment for aethelstan).
hollow villains! i wrote abt ingilmundr above, but anlaf and astrid were so 1 dimensional. and the writers could have tried a little harder lbr. and let astrid SPEAK
ALDHELM. ok. his death was such a waste. james did an incredible job, but it felt so meaningless. oooh ah uhtred was upset. but he was upset already? and it didn't make him turn his back on aethelstan????? so tell me quickly what did we accomplish
aethelstan's redemption....i feel like he went from being a villain to back to besties with the squad in 2 seconds and i think it should have been fleshed out more. like i'm fine with them reuniting and i was rooting for it but i think we could have gotten more of aethelstan realizing his mistakes and showing remorse, and demonstrating that he has changed -- uhtred will probably always have his back, but besides Realizing Things he didn't really do anything to show that he has grown and prove that he's different and better than edward -- this was an issue throughout the movie, but it stands out the most with him since his actions drive most of the plot
no offense but where tf did uhtred get his little army from
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cavehags · 1 year
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bear w/ me bc i have been defending my choice to watch s1 to ppl all day and like…. i think the characters felt like people? like ted yelled at people (nate & jamie) everything was a clusterfuck and it felt… real? and now maybe two characters feel like real people, the rest are NPCs with weird dialogue. we have “main characters” and i couldn’t tell you what any of their storylines were at this point. what is ted even doing. everything is unmoored in a bad way
totally - i think s1 was really well constructed and mature and, as you said, invested in developing its characters as flawed and complicated people who are struggling to express and communicate and find support. roy and rebecca's arcs were fantastic in season one and it's sad to discover that those were the best their arcs are going to get... s1 roy was this genuinely tragic figure, a career athlete facing the end of his life as he's always known it and very nearly suicidally depressed over the thought of it coming to an end. opening his heart to keeley and to ted's coaching philosophy is the first time he's dared to crack himself open in a very, very long time. and s1 rebecca was so magnetic and fascinating, newly divorced and bitter as hell about the wasted years, trying to define herself by how she'll get revenge on her ex without realizing what a wonderful opportunity she has to add new connections and challenges to her life. those are good fucking stories! dark and heavy with the promise of hope. then add to that how pleasantly surprised i was by keeley and rebecca's friendship, how they help each other out by sharing the wisdom of their respective generations. and, yes, the foil relationship between roy and jamie felt fresh and exciting. i loved how the show wasn't precious with its characters - it let them fuck up - and it balanced comedy and drama well in those blissfully short episodes. using sports as the easiest metaphor in the world for success and failure, it got to the heart of these characters without ever feeling like it was trying to do too much.
unfortunately, since the second half of s2, it seems to me it's really been struggling to keep the focus on those small and personal stories. this season is worst of all because you can just tell the scripts are burdened by the pressure the writers are under to meet expectations for the conclusion now that the show is a monster hit. expanding the cast and allowing episodes to bloat to an hour just gets the show further away from those tight, intimate stories. and with the more scattered focus, the characters are becoming less themselves. roy has had zero arc this season and his reasons for his breakup with keeley - the most important thing to happen to him in two seasons - have only ever been implied. the lines that are coming out of his mouth are getting more and more shock-value disturbing, and while i think everyone has always enjoyed roy's violence, that was because its impact was tempered by how kind he was, too - he was a teddy bear with a gruff voice. this season, it feels like we haven't seen him do much but threaten to break into people's homes and beat them with a rope. i miss my guy :( and same goes for rebecca, whose fixation on this psychic feels like borderline bimbofication. why are we not advancing a meaningful story for her organically? why do we have to teach her a lesson about believing in fantasy? does it have to involve the promise of a husband and a baby? for a million reasons, i feel like the show has totally lost its way, and maybe these next four episodes will make me feel better about it but for now i miss the simple good writing of season one. fucking rip :(
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kanmom51 · 3 years
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hi, genuinely curious, why do you think you know so much about bts’s personal lives? like just shipping real people in general that you don’t now personally, bc i saw some of ur posts(not just u, a LOT of others seem to think the same) and i’m confused like how do you know all that from a video/photo?
Ask 2:  hi i think i might have sounded rude in my last anon and im so so sorry if i did, i don’t mean to sound mean but english isn’t my first language and i don’t now how else to write it.
What i mean is i just can’t see it, but so many ppl including you seem convinced jimin and jungkook are a couple? i now there’s probably something i’m missing that’s obvious to everyone else bc to me they just seem like really good and close friends, so like what is it that you think makes it obvious?? (again i’m just genuinely curious abt this pls don’t take it the wrong way 💜)
I’m not clairvoyant and don’t claim to know what goes on behind closed doors.  I have said time and time again that we have no way of knowing what goes on when the cameras are off or when they are in private, unless they tell us.
I do speculate sometimes and make assumptions based on the content I’ve seen, but always original content, and not edited clips.  
I have also made it clear every single time that these are my opinions and conclusions, take them or leave them.
There is a ton of BTS content out there to go through, which includes, just as an example (because there is so much more):  Run BTS episodes, interviews (video, written and radio), member Tweets, memories, Bon Voyage, packages (summer, winter), Bangtan bombs, fan meets, Musters, concerts etc.
You need to watch original content, because, and it saddens me to say this, there is some Jikook YT content that is distorted, edited, slow motioned to fit the story, and not all of it is ‘real’ in the sense, that if you see the original content, see the true moment within it’s context and in real speed, well, it isn’t a ‘real’ moment.  I have called out some of those moments in the past.
But there are things you can’t fake.  
There a several moments that solidified for me the special connection between JK & JM.  
Watch original content over the years and you will see there is something special between those two, a special and strong connection.  JK clearly finds JM as someone he can confide in and someone that can calm him or console him in times of need.  He has said it in interviews and we have seen him do so in the content out there.
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JM is JK’s anchor.  His safe place.
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JK is JM’s happy place.  When JM is down JK is the one who knows how to cheer him up.  Even Jin had mentioned it once in an interview.
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JK is JM’s protector in sorts.  We’ve seen them at the airports, we’ve seen him carry JM after concerts.
They are super close.  We know they constantly choose to travel together in the same car (when every member has their own car and they are the only ones together)...  They choose spend ‘off time’ together - bowling, going to watch a movie, ice skating with each other.  JK himself told us in BV4 that the only members he sae during their time off were JM & Hobi.  They are just super close.
So what made me make the one step further and conclude they are romantically involved?
There are several things that pushed me over the edge.  Some of them are:
First, the content, again.  There is content out there that is way beyond “we are very close platonic friends”.  Things they say or do in front of the camera that give you so much “we are a couple” vibe. 
There is content that makes you feel like you are intruding on a very intimate private moment: 
MAMA 2018 is one of them.  I can’t say one, because there are so many moments there that are “WOW, what’s going on here?”
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Rose Bowl is also such a moment that is as clear as day, with no acceptable logical explanation other than: “there is something more between those two”.  
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Those are only 2 examples, but there are many more such moments, where the intimacy level is way more than even the best platonic friendship out there.
You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to put 1 & 1 together here.  These moments are loud and clear.
There are the more subtle moments too, those that add up on you, those that if you will look at each of them by themselves you would say: “yeah, nothing here”, but when you put them together, another one and another one and another one, well the conclusion is pretty much clear.
It’s JM’s Tweets, their matching clothing over the years, their choice to spend time together, their private trip, GCFT, JK’s choice to put JM front and center in all his other GCF’s, the way they look at each other, the way they talk about each other, the two very famous lives from 2016 (Tae’s & Hobi’s), their own lives (OMG), things JM tells us (like waking up and seeing JK is what makes him happy these days), “you are me I am you”,  the way they touch, especially during the first few years (2016-2018), those hesitant light touches & brushes (if skinship is not an issue here, why do they hesitate so much to touch each other??? when they have no problem doing so with the others, all when we do know just how close they are), the way they talk to each other, they way JK lets JM get away with shit, while he doesn’t the other members, the way JK drops honorifics with JM +++++ so much more.
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There another couple of independent points that helped to push me over the edge too.  
The first is the other members reactions when JK & JM go on with their shenanigans.  RM, Hobi, Jin, Suga & Tae all react differently, each and every one of them has a tell.  Suga and Tae go blank many times.  Jin lowers his head.  Hobi either had a worried look on his face or a big fat smile, and RM, well he’s the most obvious out of the lot.  It’s facial expressions, uneasy movement, fisting his thighs, looking to Hobi or Suga with pleading eyes, running to the two thinking he might have to defuse a moment, separating the two when he feels it’s needed.  It’s all that and then some.  Now if there is nothing ‘more’ going on between those two, why is all of that even necessary???  Those two’s interactions on camera just make the rest of the group nervous, especially RM.  Ask yourself the question: why??  
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Another thing I keep asking myself is, if these two are clearly super close, why is there a constant need to downplay their closeness?  This is something that is done by BTS and BH as well as the fandom.  And I find it hard to understand, again, if there is nothing extra going on between them, why downplay them.  You may disagree with me on this, but to me it seems they are way closer than JM & Tae, but they are called ‘soulmates’ while JK & JM are ‘nothing’? It’s like they are there, and it’s clear as day just how close they are, but it’s not a subject they are allowed to talk about.  And the way the fandom is as much as ignoring it also raises so many questions for me.  If this is an innocent platonic close friendship, why ignore it?  How come the fandom isn’t celebrating it? 
Thing is, that not only does the fandom ignore their connection, they are being hated for it.  The level of anti and hatred  out there towards them is unbelievable.  And yet again, that raises the question of why?  If nothing is going on there why such anti towards those two, together, in particular?
At the end of the day, I guess life experience is probably what helps me out here.  I have been around for a while, experienced love and heartbreak, and also a long term relationship. I know the signs, you could say.  It helps being able to assess a situation and read into it.  
It’s ok to question yourself.  I do so constantly.  I watch and re-watch content.  I read interviews, I question my logic, my conclusions.  I, just like any normal person, do have self doubt at times.  Believe me, I would not have written what I have before checking and re-checking myself.  And still, these are my conclusions.  I believe that JK & JM are not only super close, but also romantically involved.  There you have it.
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outrunningthedark · 2 years
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I see you're watching fbi and 911ls too. Do you ship oa and Maggie? If you do, do you think the show will make them canon?
I also ship Tiffany and scola (typical enemies to lovers. I mean inknow they're not enemies but they didn't like each other in the beginning hahah), and also Judd and grace ♡
Imo just goes to show how shows can make quality m/f relationships and make ppl ship them when there is actual chemistry and real development (looking at you 911 with bt and eddiana). Wonder how I/we are fetishists now who "only like buddie 'cause they're two hot men"...
I am absolutely, 100% on board with a potential Maggie/OA relationship, nonnie. That wasn't my expectation going into the show because the last time I *genuinely* cared about a m/f couple getting together (back when I used to watch a lot more tv) was the four years I spent waiting for Caskett to admit their feelings. But, as you just said, chemistry cannot be forced or denied, and I cannot wrap my brain around the idea of Zibell finding that same connection with anybody else as long as they're both still part of the show! I hope TPTB are willing to take a chance on those two sometime in the future, but crime dramas are tricky, right? Either your favorite partnership never becomes canon because showrunners don't want to risk messing with their dynamic, or you get what you wanted after YEARS of uncertainty (will they/won't they). So, IF we're lucky enough to watch Maggie and OA realize that their bond goes deeper than friendship, it's probably not gonna happen anytime soon. 🙃 (I'll keep tuning in regardless! Just seeing them on screen has me doing *chinhands* every Tuesday.) Side note that relates to your comment about 9-1-1: I'm finding that it's gotten easier for me to follow m/f ships because the way certain characters are written leaves no room for ambiguity. I support Grace and Judd (as you do!), for example, because there's nothing about their personalities that makes me wonder "Hmmm...what if they're not straight?" (I don't mean headcanons, btw. I mean details in the text that make us question what's really going on the way we have with Buddie since basically day one.) And, on top of that, their relationship is proof that you don’t NEED sex scenes (or even heavy make outs) to convince viewers to root for a canon pairing no matter their gender or sexuality. Do they work well together? Do they make sense? Okay then.  If Tim never included the "jokes" about Buck having a "boy crush" on his new BFF or how he and Eddie should be a couple, OR! Our favorite! Buck accepting the idea of being Christopher's other dad without protest...I can't say I *for sure* would have thought anything of their interactions beyond the surface or even looked at Buck as anything but a straight man. If the scripts were being written to depict them as interested in women, and only women, I would have tuned out long ago because the relationships we've seen so far fail(ed) to capture my full attention: - Shannon was not a good person. She played the victim (Miss "Me, Me, Me") and guilted Eddie into seeing Christopher only to realize she still wasn't cut out for motherhood. (Did she deserve to die? No. But the fact that she did should tell everyone that Tim had no intentions of making her the mother Christopher wanted/needed - which, ofc, is a reflection of reality because kids are abandoned and mistreated by their mothers every single day. Even the disabled ones.) And this doesn't even touch on her ableist remarks that were never addressed, which is a contrast to Eddie, a father who has been deliberately written to acknowledge and atone for his misconceptions. - Ali was fine. I personally don't get the love people still have for her and Buck as a couple because she was around in canon for all of five minutes, but I suppose this is a case of hindsight being 20/20. She was certainly more tolerable than TayKay. - Ana lost me before she came back in season four. I didn't like what she said about Christopher. I didn't like that Eddie was doing the same crap from season two when it happened. Both Shannon and Ana got "passes" for their behavior because Eddie was too busy trying to make amends with the woman he was attracted to/had feelings for. - TayKay...bores me. She just does. I understand the appeal from when she first came on the scene. People were attracted to her and liked watching her get to interact with/have sex with an equally attractive costar. But bringing her back in season four while simultaneously strengthen the bond between the Buckley-Diaz boys did nothing to endear her to me as a gay viewer!!!! I don't care about BT when Buddie is literally RIGHT THERE. ACTING LIKE THAT. Buddie being in a romantic relationship, RASING A CHILD, is a much more compelling story (for ME!!! and all the other gays!!!) than having to deal with two het characters whose chemistry has faded because one actor's performance leaves the audience questioning why they're still employed.
(I'm sure you didn't sign up for this rant, but thank you for indulging me. <3)
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sapphicwhxre · 3 years
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tiny pansy rant, cut short so it’s *hopefully* not too long:
i. wanted. to. see. her. change! and in my opinion the reason she never got the chance was because jkr used her character to make fun of people she disliked :/
pretty much all the other noteable slytherins had some sort of redemption arc,, and yeah they’re still mostly problematic people but they got chances: snape, draco, narcissa, regulus, slughorn, leta and technically andromeda? you get the point i just—
like miss ma’am decided to make pansy,, the like slytherin stereotype? and have her want to betray harry? she was seventeen ffs, not bellatrix lestrange. she was in the middle of a war? in my personal opinion i don’t think that she wanted to hand harry over out of cruelty like. it’s possible? but maybe she was just scared? also don’t we know that pansy was terrified at the thought of like. voldemort coming to hogwarts? again: everyone expects all of the children in harry potter to be these selfless brave individuals,, they’re kids :( yes ik it’s ya fantasy but cmon. they were supposed to be stressed about the N.E.W.T exams not the upheaval of their society?
and don’t get me wrong i know that she was. not a good person. she was a bitchy teenage bully who was taught hateful views. but i wanted to see her change even a little– even draco marries someone who presumably teaches him how to treat people equally? like. there was so much room for change: she was a prefect, she was capable of some kindness seeing as she liked draco, or alternatively, we could’ve seen her break away from draco and potentially stop hating harry/all his friends quite so much or develop her own opinions. or maybe her group of friends that she used for validation throughout her school years was uprooted during the war and she had to learn that independency? or her pointing out harry could’ve been turned into trying to be selfless, like she thought they’d be safe that way, or she returned later fighting with reinforcements to show she was on Hogwarts’ side. jkr is always like "well they technically came back to fight, if you squint » but that’s not enough. also? let’s say we did get a glimpse of her during the actual battle: there could’ve been anything, the smallest scene, that showed some sort of support or reconciliation or something between her and hermione, considering how hermione was often pansy’s target. everybody wants to see forgiveness between draco and harry because of minor events/details (i dislike drarry but that’s besides the point), but imagine what could’ve changed with some semblance of apology or assistance from pansy to hermione. there were so many chances for r*wling to give her a smallest redemption
but instead we got her characterized as evil and a stupid, cowardly traitor. she the only person we ever see her care for marries her friends younger sister. she’s the written depiction of jkr’s bitterness and her arc is jkr’s vengeance.
also, another reason that i’m so mad she got nothing is because of the whole slytherin=evil thing. she’s made into a stereotype of a “slytherin”— cruel, selfish, shallow, ugly, and asinine. (also i could rant about slytherin forever, but can we just mention that jkr consistently refers to slytherins as physically ugly and just how fucked up that is? i– wtf). but anyway: to give pansy a chance to change is to give the slytherin house a chance to change its reputation. trying to justify that the slytherin house got its redemption because of the actions of ppl like snape or regulus, etc isn’t possible. because all of those “slytherin heroes” were described again and again as being “different from all the other slytherins”. they set themselves apart by being decent. they weren’t normal slytherins, no, they were set apart, they were brave and smart and kind— not evil. there’s no redemption to be found there. i wish jkr would just fucking say that being sorted into slytherin was being made into a villain. she dodged around it with rhetorical questions and pointing out how not All of them are bad,, and then will go on to mock the other slytherins and talk about how the heroes were Not Like The Other Snakes... again: there’s no redemption of slytherin as a house, as a quality, as a concept there. it’s just the redemption of an individual.
in pansy, however, we could’ve found so much more. like i said, she’s The Average Slytherin: not a hero, not a villain like voldemort. she’s made out to be a depiction of the typical slytherin student, one without a “destiny”, so to speak. and so to give her the chance, to see her change, to have her redefine herself? that would be a starting point for restoring slytherin as a whole (obviously not the best way, and the real best thing to do would be not to make an entire house be the bad guys in the first place, but–) to have someone who’s the figurehead of slytherin (like actually a figurehead,, girl is a even a prefect) show remorse and growth gives the entire house the seed of redemption. it would mean that after over a thousand years there could be peace between the houses. obviously not the only factor in reconciliation but still so important.
and not to just continue to heap on my own issues with it, but look. i know that there are so many other ways to introduce “mundane” antagonists without making them a symbol of anything. pansy could’ve been a bitch without representing slytherin. also pansy doesn’t have to break character and become kind for amends to be made. they don’t even have to be fully made, just started. but jkr chose to:
a.) go with bullying as a minor antagonistic element
b.) create and develop a character around that theme
c.) make this character only based on her own negative personal experiences
d.) turn that character into a representation of a much larger group of people
e.) deny that character any final moment that could begin to make amends for her actions and instead, chooses to make her “defining” moment an act of evil and cowardice
f.) either neglects the character or chooses plot points that would humiliate the character in all the glimpses of the future we are shown (ex. how dracos marriage is)
g.) openly mocks and insults the character repeatedly and never directly comes out and proves she didn’t write slytherins as evil
h.) to the best of my knowledge, ignores that pansy personifing slytherin, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and then characterizing both as “bad” and not giving them a chance to grow, is a summary of her thoughts on slytherin ls and is a possible interpretation of the text (i mean her opinions are already TRASH)
i. ignores the consequences of this or the possible effect it has on her entire fanbase and doesn’t seek to remedy it
but yeah, jkr, it was such a good idea to base a character off of your loathesone memories, take your anger out on her, and that choose to have that character partially represent a large percentage of your fanbase. thank you sooooo much. i really appreciate it!
summary:
I. Pansy— deserved an opportunity to have some character development. everyone else’s mistakes get overlooked to some degree save hers. had so many places to draw inspiration/opportunity from. could’ve progressed other ideas in the book and the analysis of her house while still remaining a “dislikable” character
II. Writing— from a “technical?” aspect, Pansy is underdeveloped and stagnant, used for personal reasons instead of as a plot device. perpetuates the slytherin=bad idea via a sloppy and repetitive characterization and emblem. there are ways around this that weren’t used.
III. I have no qualifications to be saying any of this lmao. Am I reading to much into it, knowing that Rowling tends to be shitty with writing details? Am I being dramatic and repetitive? probably!
IV. Fuck JKR (for everything. she’s an awful person)
anyways this has been: my mini-rant on pansy and her analysis,,, and i am terribly sorry,, i offer my apologies in advance for randomly dumping this into your inbox. it’s long and opinionated and there’s no real reason behind it! i just thought of it and then thought about it some more and then. here we are
ilysm mwah <3 should’ve definitely done something more productive but shh😭 rat brain hours
this is everything, you're completely right. i don't have much to add but i agree all the way. and people give pansy so much shit for the harry thing but she seemed genuinely scared of voldemort coming back and i really think that she believed he would leave them alone if they gave him up. from her perspective, it's either her and the people she cares about get to live or this guy that she not only isn't close to but probably sees as the bad guy considering she dated/was best friends with draco and witnessed their rivalry from his side. did she make the best decisions? no, not at all but i see her reasons and i don't think it makes her this antichrist that jkr makes her out to be. she pulled the “he's just a boy” with draco and had people sympathise with him when he did so so much worse than pansy did so why doesn't that apply to her? she's a kid. they all are. i love harry, ron, and hermione SO MUCH but jkr really said fuck everyone who isn't them ─ especially any girl who isn't her precious hermione. she projected her own pettiness onto fictional characters who are CHILDREN and proceeded to get upset when people connected to and loved other people that she herself made. creating such an underdeveloped character and expecting people to hate her just because she imagined her as her bully is beyond immature and ridiculous. anyways. jkr take a fucking chill pill and leave my girl alone.
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tartagliaxx · 3 years
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first off, hello 🤷‍♀️ anon! sorry i missed you out
and secondly, dw, marius is my favourite too lol, he reminds me a lot of my younger cousin who i lived with when i was younger. i was always the one who took care of him and marius calling me older sister just set off so much memories of my childhood. the both of them are also vv similar in personality, attention seeking, playful and artistic so i always see him whenever i look at marius.
artem is probably my second favourite ngl, ever since i read his ssr where he was jealous and got drunk (what a good combination lmao) i just grew so soft for him. at the end of the day, he's just a vv soft sweetheart who's insecure that we'll leave him :(( i have like 3 ssrs at lvl36, two of them are artem cards and the other is luke. i vibe with luke too bc i love the childhood friends trope, it's top tier. and as for vyn... i have vv mixed feelings abt him. i feel like he could so easily see through me if he was real and i'm just like, how about no. he's rlly pretty though, like rlly pretty.
*major spoilers*
and you've finished the archon quests!!! personally, i feel like the ending felt a bit rushed(?). it's weird bc i thought the resistance war against the raiden shogun was supposed to be the center of the story, but it just devolved to us helping yae with the entire war being swept to the side. and i already knew somebody was gonna die, and as soon as i saw that teppei had become the captain, i just knew.
it's interesting bc i would love to explore what happened to la signora and scaramouche to make them so disregarding of human life. like, i don't like them, but i want to understand their minds. it's sad to read signora's artifact's background honestly. and the fact that her crown said she used to be called rosalyne, that she had perhaps once led a more innocent and naive existence. i dunno, to me it seems like a good ending for her honestly, she had already lost herself after her lover's death and brings pain to many others, i don't think she can rlly return to being her again.
and honestly, a lot of people are talking abt scaramouche not telling signora he already had the gnosis and saying that he orchestrated her death, i don't rlly think so. i feel like he's just that apathetic to human life, even if it's someone that stands on his side, he just doesn't care enough. it also says how he never got along with anyone, not even his fellow harbingers, so i don't know why ppl expect him to seek out someone he doesn't like just to warn her of danger.
i vibe with scaramouche and la signora as the antagonists bc they're good antagonists, but as characters, well. other than the fact that they're pretty, they have like one likeable trait and that is their loyalty. they would do anything for the tsaritsa even if it cost them their life. i'm rlly excited to see what the tsaritsa has in store for us in the future.
considering our sibling is nicknamed 'the prince/princess', i wonder if there's gonna be a day where we're gonna have to go toe to toe with them. if we had them backed them into a corner with no way out, i wonder if they would kill us. it would be an interesting twist if we could actually die, but i feel like the protagonist halo will prevent it lol and i'm sorry bc god, this is so long.
— r. anon
marius. that’s the tweet. man,, you dont realize how in love i am w him?? like,, this man was literally my only hope when i fell horribly sick. i cant w myself now that i’m hearing it w my own voice. it must be nice to remember the good ol’ days… i despise my cousins and i dont have siblings so i dont really have that sort of connection w him. to me, his onee-san is just a joke? a petname? idk but it simultaneously makes me so mad and giddy just like childe’s existence does
i like vyn bc his vibes are sus but at the same time, he’s cares abt our mental health 🥺👉👈 no one’s ever said shit like that to me… jokes aside, luke is seriously threatening his spot bc of his blushing bs like pls 🤲 i’m so weak for that shit give me more. artem makes me soft too like,, he keeps mentioning that he trusts us and he’s just…. HE’S A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT BLUSHES AT LIKE ACCIDENTAL HAND BRUSHES GRRRR. in conclusion, i love them all.
but man,, give me ssr luck… literally, im in pain…
now that the excitement’s worn off, i can now judge things properly. i think that… the pacing is horrible. like the plot is good, genuinely, but there’s just,, so much to explore abt this. if you think abt it, this is the climax and yet we didnt get much. scratch that. we got a lot but it’s all underdeveloped that it felt like nothing. we go to sangonimiya, got promoted, became captain for like, one sec before we are sent onto an investigation that didnt really produce any results bc app teppei alr knows everything? and then the delusion thing is a good plot point but it’s not really explored? just… a lot of things are left unexplored and i think that story wise, a lot of the possible lore explanations went down the drain. it would’ve been nice if we saw more abt the rebellion and if we had gotten to know whats the real deal w the commissions but eh… idk… i would’ve rather done more quests abt this whole storyline than like… do that whole dance w the three people who lost their vision in 2.0.
if im going to be honest, la signora is such a wasted character. like maybe her death was just for the shock factor or maybe it’s to prepare us for more harbinger encounters in the future.. idk but she’s such a good character from what we’ve seen but we know jack shit abt her and her motives. we know a little from the artifact set but beyond that, what do we have?
precisely! that’s how i feel abt this whole thing when we’re talking seriously. like w ei, i dont really agree w whatever they’re doing but i want to understand why they do the things that they do. everything has a reason and their psychology is just interesting to me.
i think scaramouche’s nature makes it easy for him to disregard human life. call it arrogance or whatever but ultimately, he’s seeing himself as smth above all these people bc he’s more or less capable of standing toe to toe w a god. why should he bother telling signora? it’s not like he gains anything if he does. i think that when he got the gnosis, he’s just ‘well she dies if she dies. who cares abt that? i dont have any need for incompetent colleagues anw’ i agree and i dont think he orchestrated her death but at the same time, he just allowed it to happen too.
as for signora, i’m actually surprised? for the most part, i think that the harbingers took their posts for selfish reasons. for scara, it’s to entertain himself and pass time. for childe, it’s to fight and grow stronger. for dottore, it’s to conduct dubious research w/o anyone stopping him. i expected signora to have some similar motive like power or money but it seems like she does actually believe in the tsaritsa? it would be very intriguing if signora’s main motive in becoming a harbinger is simply bc she is loyal to the tsaritsa and her will. bc in contrast, i think scara and dottore are more loyal to the fact that the tsaritsa can give them what they want, not bc they actually like her. actually, idek if they’re willing to die for her lol. like i wouldnt be surprised if they suddenly abandon post in a life or death situation but who knows…
in any case, they are very good antagonists. i like yo think that the tsaritsa isnt as bad as the game portrays her to be… of all the gods, she’s the one im looking forward to the most but… haha… what version would that be….
i’m almost certain that they’ll make us fight our twin maybe before we face the unknown god? if one of them dies, i would be very sad. like legit. but knowing mhy, well, our twin is almost 100% a walking death flag.
anw i’m shutting up rn— i also spoke too much kahdjabdhakbsjansb—
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equalseleventhirds · 3 years
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if you want to talk about hades town you can do so on this because i am very much interested in your thoughts about it!
fdsfjdskfds oh anon i am at Work and when i get out of work i will be Homework but......... listen. listen.
(ok a lot of this i’ve already rambled abt in my hadestown tag but. BUT). i got into hadestown pre-broadway, which means i listened to the original cast recording from 2017 a BUNCH. and while i adore both version, there were... changes. which i feel did orpheus a disservice, and the overarching plot a disservice, but in some ways treated eurydice better by filling her out more and making her more of a revolutionary. 
anyway, i defos don’t have time for a full song-by-song comparison, and also some of the songs available for the broadway version never made it onto the release of the 2017 version, not bcos they weren’t in the show, just bcos.... idk they weren’t released? weren’t recorded? i do not pretend to know the inner workings of the music industry.
BUT of note: the major changes to epic ii. in the original, orpheus was mocking of hades (’king of a kingdom of dirt’ yo), while in the broadway version, orpheus is just singing abt hades and persephone’s history. epic iii also removes that like, ‘a king who loves everythign like a hammer loves the nail’ and ‘he comes down heavy and hard on us’, so it’s MUCH less about the workers’ resentment of hades and just. about hades and persephone.
btw fuckin miss me with that narrative abt orpheus solving global warming by reminding the ruling class that they’re in love with each other? like, i’m sure that’s more appealing to ur standard can-afford-broadway audience, and as a LOVE story it’s cool, but. just not a good lesson actually. 
also ‘living it up on top’ completely cuts out his ‘why would a man of his own free will go to work all day in the mine and the mill’ which is, y’know, callous when considering the people (like, later, eurydice) driven to work for hades, but is TARGETED at hades, who for real does not NEED to work the way he does. miss that....
we also, throughout the broadway version, get a LOT of hermes speaking for orpheus. in the original, ‘come home with me’ is orpheus convincing eurydice, while the broadway version has hermes telling her that orpheus will make her feel alive. ‘living it up on top’ also changes from persephone speaking directly to orpheus and letting him take up the ‘bless this round’ bit, to having hermes volunteer him. blah blah ‘under my wing’ blah, but having a god (again, member of the ruling class, even if this one’s helpful) speak for him? when we have a version where he speaks for himself? come ON. i am not a fan of orpheus being made helpless! let him make his decisions! let his voice be one of persuasion even BEFORE he goes to the underworld!
(this also ties into my personal take that as a demigod, the son of a muse--and you know how those muses are--orpheus’ carelessness is what originally loses him eurydice. he does not care about eating through the winter, he’s never had to worry about that bcos hermes looks after him, while eurydice has had a harsh life and knows they DO need to worry. art is all well and good, but it is also important to care for the people in your life. it’s later, when orpheus loses eurydice and must venture into the harshness of the underworld, meets the workers/the wall and has to find SOLIDARITY with them in order to stand up to hades, that he finally recognizes the value of working with others to create a better life for all. in this essay i)
i also rly miss the original ‘promises’ bcos like, while orpheus & eurydice as always-in-love is sweet, i really enjoyed the fighty version where they are both resentful & angry abt broken promises, and both acknowledge that what they originally claimed to want from the other & give to one another was both unrealistic and not what they actually wanted, eventually coming to a conclusion that was more based on reality. like. communication resulting in a healthier relationship after dealing with unrealistic expectations.... we stan.
now that i’ve gone over how i think the original was better, i did still LIKE the broadway version, and there were some improvements! most notable, eurydice’s stronger role as like, an active revolutionary (or attempted one, anyway) rather than a more passive rescue.
i genuinely adored the change of ‘anyway the wind blows’ from an intro song by the fates to eurydice singing (with the fates backing her up/singing in her ear), bcos it sets up eurydice as an average sufferer of the world the gods made, and lets us hear it in her voice, her experience, and her opinions. she is the one to say weather ain’t the way it was before--and when we later get persephone telling us ‘some might say the weather ain’t the way it used to be’, she’s dismissing eurydice’s suffering (and the suffering of all humans), bcos she’s more concerned with her own issues with hades than with how she’s impacted the world.
(also the changes made had some Interesting Implications abt persephone’s complicity in that whole ‘keep your head low’ thing, that i think is p cool, actually? like afaik the 2017 version didn’t have ‘no spring/no fall’ going on, so the fact that the broadway one DOES and yet keeps her having spring flowers & autumn leaves only to the ppl in the underworld when she arrives.... inch resting. something something the ruling class provides ‘charity’ of resources people should already have as a reward for ‘good behavior’ something.)
eurydice at the beginning is isolated. she falls in love with orpheus and decides to stay with him, but even them being together does not mean he understands her, or values the same things she does. this is evident in both versions, but in the broadway version, when eurydice goes to the underworld, she does something interesting; she tries to introduce herself to the other workers. now, i never saw the 2017 version in full, only heard the album, but in the album she signs the papers and is rejoicing that she’s ‘free’ and has to be told that she isn’t. she doesn’t really speak to the other workers, beyond this exchange about ‘freedom’. in the broadway version, she’s dejected--she did what she had to do. she knows that’s what the other workers did. and she goes to talk to them about it, bcos in spite of where they are, she wants to create a connection with her fellow workers (building solidarity! my girl!!) (also interesting: at the start of the show. she’s alone. she’s always been alone. she sings about how people always turn on you and she’s better off alone before she meets orpheus, but even after she has to leave him, she tries to make a connection with other people. oh...... character development, we love it.) she doesn’t SUCCEED, but she TRIES. which may be important in why they choose to follow HER later.
now we come to chant (reprise), wait for me (reprise), and doubt comes in, the BEST revolutionary eurydice songs in the ENTIRE show. in the 2017 version these were mostly orpheus-focused (and altho i miss the ‘he said he’s shelter us/he said he’d harbor me’ parallels from the 2017 version of chant ii, the company singing with eurydice & orpheus about ‘if i raise my voice, if i raise my head’ fucks SO HARD). eurydice sings with the workers as they’re revolting, and when they walk out of hadestown, the workers follow her. (they don’t follow orpheus, even tho that’s who eurydice is following; ‘if she can do it so can we’. she’s one of them. she’s the one they’re following. can you BELIEVE). eurydice also gets to echo (louder, stronger, and using our instead of my) orpheus’s fantastic fucking ‘i hear the walls repeating the falling of my feet and it sounds like drumming’ bit, with the workers giving her backup. god. so fucking good.
and then, again, i never saw the 2017 version, but ‘doubt comes in’ in that one is still melancholy even on eurydice’s parts; she’s hopeful, but she’s alone, entirely relying on orpheus to lead her. i did get to see the broadway version (and bro.... the production value on that.... the LIGHTS first of all, the LIGHTING, and this song in particular? all dark when orpheus sings so you can’t see eurydice, and then cut to eurydice in lights with the workers following? MY DUDE.) and eurydice’s bits in this song are triumphant. she is sure they will get out, she is dancing and turning back to the workers as she sings she is right behind him (they sing back: we are right behind you). she is following him and sure of him, and she is with the workers and they are with her.
which is part of why ‘sing it again’ does so little for me, actually? like, orpheus had his chance, and he fucked it up, and yes it’s a beautiful story and we want to think he’d do it right, but this is nothing like the end, and singing it again leaves no way to move forward. eurydice led the workers! she gave them her name, she made them care, she was their beacon of hope and what they could become (compare to their previous beacon of hope, persephone, who shows up once a year and sells them remnants of their former lives and does not try to lead them out bcos she’s too caught up in her own anger). eurydice did not make it out with orpheus, but i HAVE to imagine that she and the workers got that taste of freedom, that taste of memory, that taste of solidarity, and would not just forget it again. it becomes more than a love story, it becomes about eurydice’s position of solidarity with the other mortals (something orpheus almost gets, but fails due to insecurity and inexperience and being the outside-savior rather than one of them). and obvs that doesn’t work with the original orpheus and eurydice myth, but listen...... let them bother hades after the end. let them fucking unionize. pls it would be so GOOD i am just! i am just!!
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krokonoko · 4 years
Text
the heart wants what it wants. and as much as I love my angst, sometimes I need me some freaky shit like,,, Lacho AUs in which the cartel is not a factor and Lalo and Nacho are just. REGULAR ASS BOYFRIENDS.
LOTS of assorted headcanons under the cut!
shield thine eyes, there’s some heavy ass fluff incoming.
Lalo has his own little restaurant. No one knows how it stays afloat with the erratic way Lalo’s leading it, but it seems his family’s somehow just absolutely loaded, so he can afford it. Honestly sometimes it feels like he just uses it to fuck around with new recipes. Like there’s no real rhyme or reason to what he’s doing, but everyone loves his food, he’s really good with the patrons and if he parties the whole night through then it doesn’t matter cuz the next morning the kitchen still looks spick and span and Lalo’s awake and chipper, ready for the next day! How does he do it? No one knows, especially not his staff. But when someone asks, he just laughs it off and changes the subject and oh my god he’s so charming how could anyone resist him? -
Lalo’s still on the antisocial spectrum and manic af in this AU, so his approach to relationships and emotions is a bit different than your neurotypical one. He seems to have a penchant for breaking rules, can be manipulative at times, and certain things don’t affect him the way you’d expect. But most of the time you wouldn’t even know, cuz generally he’s a really affable guy who’s a lot of fun to be around. He’s genuinely trying not to step on anyone’s toes. That being said, you don’t like him then yeah, he don’t give two shits. -
Nacho used to be part of some gang, but got out in time. He now studies business or something like that. He’s super ambitious and keeps badgering his papá about investing into technical improvements that would make his shop more effective and streamlined. Manuel gets heart burn every time Nacho runs the numbers by him. He’s been running the shop for longer than Nacho is alive, he’s not gonna contract new debts after it took him so long to pay everything off...! And Nacho insists that’s how business WORKS, it’s all about investment and growth. Manuel says with a smile that when the shop is Nacho’s, he can stuff it with all the novelty apparatuses that he wants, but he’ll have to wait until Manuel is no more, and Nacho is like papá don’t be so overdramatic...!! And Manuel laughs and pats Nacho’s back because actually he’s really proud of his son and the fact that he’s so concerned with the shop and they’re HAPPY GODDAMMIT -
For some reason this AU doubles as a modern AU as well. Which means smartphones exist. Nacho spends. SO much time on Instagram. Photos of his car. Photos of Nacho leaning against his car. Gym selfies. All over the damn place. And Lalo doesn’t understand insta cuz he’s a tech averse king, but he still secretly checks out Nacho’s blog all the time cuz yummy! Sometimes he comments on Nacho’s posts with a bunch of. really weird emojis, half of which don’t mean what Lalo thinks they mean, and Nacho thinks it’s cringe af. -
They’ve been having this thing going on for about a year and they’re both suuuper casual about it, like, SO casual, especially Nacho, wow he is so incredibly low key about this, like he is not too all over this or anything, just the right amount of relaxed, laid back, so cool, yeah. -
Just that Lalo is actually incredibly flirty all the time and courts the hell out of Nacho, he’s almost a bit gentleman-like about it, almost a bit old-school, and Nacho thinks that’s kinda dope and the way Lalo treats him like he’s the sexiest thing on earth sometimes comes across as a little condescending but there’s something about it, too, that makes Nacho sometimes lie awake at night thinking about it, brushing his thumb over his lower lip and thinking about the way Lalo pulls him in for kisses. -
When Lalo picks Nacho up from the gym, Nacho smiles when he sees him. When Lalo cracks a crude joke about making people swallow condoms, Nacho chuckles. When Lalo makes him food, Nacho enjoys it. When they walk along the sidewalk in the evening, Nacho casually bumps into Lalo and Lalo puts an arm around Nacho. When Lalo is close, Nacho feels comfortable, and warm, and drawn to him. -
Nacho has had a couple of girl- and boyfriends, but he’s only ever introduced Manuel to his girlfriends. Manuel’s known that Nacho’s into boys ever since he came home early to teenage Nacho and Domingo sitting on the living room couch 6 ft apart with their shirts rumpled and their faces red as beet. But Nacho didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so Manuel respected that. He’s a bit concerned cuz he’s afraid Nacho feels like he can’t talk to him, but he wouldn’t wanna push him. -
So all of Lalo’s attempts to meet papá Varga have been met by Nacho with stone-walling and general avoidance. -
But Lalo’s a very family oriented person so he just decides to make it a surprise dinner! At first Manuel is a bit wary cuz alright, what’s going on, who is this guy? But then Lalo turns up the charm and he’s just one of these guys who are absolutely stellar at wooing older ppl. So he keeps charming circles around Manuel with food and jokes, and Manuel kinda starting to like this guy, and when Manuel wants to get himself some more beer- nonono you stay put Sr. Varga, I’m gonna take care of this for you - and then they get to the part of the evening where Manuel tells childhood stories about Nacho like how he cried when he lost his first tooth and Lalo is just ab-so-lute-ly ENTHRALLED by it all and before you know it he and Manuel are BFF. -
all the while Nacho just. SEETHES in his corner. -
Manuel leaves and Lalo and Nacho start cleaning up the kitchen, and they’re very quiet until Nacho just goes “are you going to tell me what the hell all that was about?” and Lalo’s like “???” and Nacho’s just. “That little sing-and-dance you just did there? Like. What’s your end-game here. If this was some kind of attempt to get to me through my, dad, to, idk, somehow get emotional leverage over me, istg...!” And Lalo’s gets honestly serious and looks and Nacho all earnest-like... “man... is it really that hard to believe that it’s important to me that your dad likes me...?” and then he goes “you know what, Ignacio, you seem upset. Why don’t you just go home and leave the kitchen to me, yeah?” and so Nacho does, and he’s really angry at Lalo, and he doesn’t really get what just happened there. -
a couple days later his dad calls him and Nacho is kinda concerned but Manuel doesn’t pick up on it, he’s just like “Mijo, I just. Wanted to say how important that was to me, to meet your boyfriend, he’s a really nice y-...nice man.” (Nacho notices the gap where the “young” should have been lmao) and actually Manuel is trying to be like “Mijo, I am supportive of you please notice that I am trying to tell you that I think this is super okay!” but Nacho is so busy being confused cuz he’s never referred to Lalo as his boyfriend in his head even though they’ve been at this for over a year. So Nacho’s kinda monosyllabic and like “so. he didn’t upset you or anything?” and Manuel’s like “noo, he was really friendly. You didn’t give him a hard time, did you, Ignacio...??” Manuel gets all stern and fatherly...!! “Let me tell you one thing. Not a single one of your girlfriends has ever been this polite or interested in me. This man, he’s being serious about you. Maybe it’s time to stop being cautious.” -
and that’s when it starts to dawn on Nacho that that’s. Honestly all there is to it. Lalo wasn’t trying to manipulate him or whatever. He honestly just noticed that Manuel is an important part of Nacho’s life, and wanted to connect with that. And that is- actually. really sweet of him, what the fuck?!? -
Nacho lays awake again that night and notices that there’s something going on in his chest, like something big and warm blooming there and oh my fucking god you can’t be SERIOUS this is RIDICULOUS he’s way too old for this shit, AND way too worldly-wise and all that! -
So Nacho drives by Lalo’s place the other day and asks him whether he wants to go for a drink and so they go to a bar and sit there in silence for a moment until Nacho goes “my dad asked about you” and Lalo chuckles and is like “yeah? at least someone who misses me!” and Nacho rolls his eyes but he’s kinda got it coming now. Anyway, so, Nacho starts explaining that his dad is the most important person in his life, and he is soft and sweet and precious and a national treasure that must be protected at all costs and if someone was to hurt him and all that jazz. And Lalo’s like, yeah, no, I get it. Family is everything. And your dad is a really cool guy.  The problem is that for Nacho, it’s just been him and Manuel against the world for so long, he’s gotten kinda prickly about letting anyone else get close to his dad. But maybe this is good, and maybe, oh god he doesn’t really wanna think about it in that much detail, but like, Lalo gets it, and they leave the bar together and Lalo immediately gets out his phone and calls Manuel like “Sr. Varga, I’ve been wondering how you’ve been doing! What, Nachito? He’s doing fine. No, nooo, he’s not been mean at all. Couldn’t if he tried. Well, I hope you have a great evening. Yeah, talk to you soon!” and Lalo’s just absolutely obnoxious about this, winking at Nacho and everything and Nacho sighs and accepts his punishment. (Later Lalo’s gonna be like “of course you were right, I did have ulterior motives. I was just trying to butter you up for the dinner I have planned with my uncle Hector!” and Lalo keeps talking about how much he loves his tio and how he’s basically a father figure to him and such a great guy. But then they meet him and Lalo only introduces Nacho as “a friend”, and Hector is this grumpy old guy who hates absolutely everyone and everything, can’t go two sentences without being racist, sexist or homophobic. And Nacho’s like aaalright, guess I gotta deal with THIS now. But they don’t meet him that often so it’s alright.) -
OH but Manuel is still a BIT conservative about SOME things?? Like, he’s fine with Nacho having a boyfriend, but does he have to be so. you know. old...? Like. He’s not your sugar daddy, right Ignacio...? You’re not expecting him to keep you, right Ignacio...??? And Nacho is kinda pissy because UHM?? the implications?? He would never?? He’s nobody’s trophy boyfriend. He does like getting paraded around like one every now and then but he’s not. He buys his own damn stuff. But yeah sorry Nacho, that���s just how parents are sometimes lmao -
ANYWAY the point is, they. They care. Nacho cares Lalo. And seeks out his company on his own accord without any outside influences forcing him to. And Lalo cares Nacho. And they kinda start to accept that this is. a thing. And Nacho learns to accept that he can let himself feel save and comfortable around Lalo. And they’re just regular ass boyfriends. Who go on vacation together. Who have just fantastic sex without any coercion or backstabbing involved. Who fall asleep on the couch watching movies together. Who celebrate each other’s birthdays. All that freaky shit!!! 😭😭😭
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mnogorgannik · 4 years
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2 10 n 11 :)
this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)
2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?
WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!
the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.
i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.
i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.
i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?
in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.
there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.
and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...
peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.
while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.
one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!
it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.
also, here’s a little thing  i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting
i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg  even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.
anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.
i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much
10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?
this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short
11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?
UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/
i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)
all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”
i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.
and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?
i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.
he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?
the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.
however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.
in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE
i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.
i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you
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Fanfiction review : Unexpected
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Disclaimer: Do not send hate to anyone mentioned in this post. If you plan to respond in anyway to this post, I ask that you remain civil to everyone. Also, this review is an opinion post. Do not take what I say here as fact. Thank you.
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I like sorbet. I do! I prefer it to ice cream, and I would gladly eat half a tub without hesitation. But if I were to eat it every day? I'd get sick of it. It's always bothersome when something like that happens. Especially in literature. Sometimes, a short story is more enjoyable than a lengthy saga. Good things can come in small packages....
... what was I talking about again? Ah, whatever.
Anyway, let's talk about zoophobia fanfiction.
*****
Those who have had the misfortune of reading my last fic review may recall that I went through each and every chapter of TDL's story. This time, however, this will be structured in a sort of ramble. I will be discussing things in sections, and I will give my overall thoughts at the end. This is a review of "Unexpected " by a "Kalum16" , who, if my memory serves me correctly, goes by @kartoonluv on Tumblr. Now, this review was not requested by anyone, so if Kalum (who I'll refer to as KL for brevity's sake) wishes this review to be deleted, I will comply with his wishes. Also, I suggest that you read this on fanfiction.net before continuing with this post.
******
Something I would like to get out of the way are my views on romance and the story's pairing. I'd like to bring these up now as I will be mentioning them later on.
Firstly, I have never been in a romantic relationship. However, I have been in love before, and I know people who are or who have been in relationships. That being said, I have considered that perhaps my lack of experience will mean that with certain things... I might not get it. The importance of certain events may be lost on me, and I may not be able to connect with things couples do.
I would also like to confess that Kayla x Damian is one of my least favorite ZP ships. The idea that after Damian basically harasses Kayla, manipulates her and Zill, and basically makes their lives miserable for his own gain, that he can be rewarded by getting the girl? Not exactly something I jive with. Also, (and this is my interpretation) I do not think that Damian's feelings towards Kayla are genuine. By that, I think (due to how little they know about each other) Dame is more in love with his idea of who Kayla is. Or, if we weren't going to look to deep into it and say that it's because he has a thing for Christians, it would make Dame's attraction pretty materialistic. Neither idea really screams "good ship!" to me.
********
That being said, let's discuss how the pairing is handled here. I'm actually on board with this depiction of the relationship. For one thing, it seems that Kay and Dame have become friends. They clearly care about one another before starting a relationship, and the story makes it so that they can relate to each other. This takes away my issue of these characters not acting knowing each other well, and thus the feelings they have towards one another come off as genuine.
I think that the story makes them out to the a cute couple. However, I still have a major issue with it, and the story as a whole.
Basically, (after a while) I think it's boring.
To best explain why, I would first like detour and discuss Damian and Kayla individually.
*******
Ladies first. I have mentioned in previous posts that I enjoyed the first chapter of this story. Back then, I had not read beyond chapter 1, as I hadn't realized that the story had been updated. And you know what? I still stand by that. In chapter 1, Kayla feels a lot more interesting than she is in the comic. It's interesting to see Kay in a situation where she basically gets what she wants, but she ends up hating it. She struggles with writers block, self doubt and regret. It's sad to see how apathetic she's become, and how she no longer holds the ambition she once did.
I also liked that she still had some internalized prejudice against demons. It made sense, and it made what was going on more interesting as it created inner conflict. Now, if the story was just the one chapter, I would have bought that her falling in love with Dame would have made all her prejudice go away. I mean, you would need to wrap it up by the end.
But we got more than 1 chapter, and thus the evaporated prejudice feels kind of contrived and like lost potential. Hell, it would have been interesting if an ongoing subplot involved Kayla conquering her prejudice by learning about demons and debunking the stories that I heard as a kid. Her just yeeting away her prejudice because she falls for one guy feels kind of lame, and going forward, Kayla feels less interesting in the fic.
Originally, she had all this regret and self doubt. While it's great to see her doing good, her issues feel like they've almost all been resolved by a makeout session. Throughout the story, Kay doesn't grow or develop in any way. Her only real issue is "I'm in love with Dame and ppl don't like it, woe is me"
There's this chapter where Dame meets Kay's parents, and I feel like I should be invested, but I'm more confused than anything. The story points out that Kay's parents were ok with Zill (who's part demon, part whatever the fuck), but they're not ok with Dame. I mean, yes, he's the antichrist, but have they not figured out that their daughter is into some weird dudes? Like, they're perspective is painted as "oh, Kay was such a good girl, and yadda yadda", but, again, they were ok with Zill. You'd think that that relationship would at least make them question that idea? Also, why are Kay's parents deer? Am I missing something?
Kay serves really only one role here. She's Dame's gf, she'll defend the relationship to the grave, and she cares about him. She doesn't become much more than that, and every chapter feels like it's redundant in reinforcing that idea. Like...ok, we get it, let's move on.
*******
Does Damian do much here? Not really. He's mainly the inverse of Kayla for the most part, being "I will defend this love, no matter fucking what". The issue being constantly brought up about how he's the antichrist, so "oh no, that makes things difficult ", is always resolved in about a chapter.
The story feels like it's trying to give Damian some development. I mean, I guess he stands up for himself against Kay's parents, and defends her from his? Oh, and there's that moment where he's like "Yo, I have no control over my life, I don't wanna be a prince, you make me happy ", etc. But not even this really does anything. The meeting with his parents feels like a repeat of meeting Kay's parents. We even get the one parent approval, one on one talk, and it's the mom, just like before. Oh, and Dame's emotional "I will reject prince-y ness to be with you " speech? All that leads to is them having sex.
Ok, well, that last one I might give a pass. I don't find sex to be that big a deal, but I know some people view it as this super important thing, so maybe through that lense, I could see sex as being an emotional payoff.
*******
One thing I won't give a pass is chapter 2, which really didn't need to be here. Jack never shows up again, Kayla can be subtracted from this chapter entirely, and the only build up to this was a couple lines in the previous chapter. The chapter itself is alright, but it feels like it should have been it's own separate story. My only idea as to why this chapter should stay is that, apart from Kayla in chapter 1, this is the only chapter with development. Damian owning up for being a shit is great, and it shows some of only god damn growth for anyone here.
Another chapter that didn't need to be here was whichever was the chapter when Zill showed up again. Admittedly, I skipped this chapter almost entirely. Look, he and Kay broke up, and they're dating different people. That's it. That's all we need. I read the first few paragraphs and the last few. I feel like I don't need to read the entire chapter to know that it's just reinforcing the idea of how great a couple Kayla and Damian are. You know, like basically every chapter in here.
*****
My biggest issue overall with this story is the relationship. As much as I've been ragging on this fic, KL is very gifted at writing. There were some instances where a reread or two could fix some wonky sentences (sounds like me reviewing my posts), but overall he does have a good grasp on it.
That being said, the relationship, the core of this story, is not interesting enough to warrant all six chapters. The only issue Kayla and Damian face are the opinions of others. They never have any reason to question the relationship, question themselves as people, or think about how to handle things. It would have been a lot more interesting if we saw them develop the close relationship the story portrays them as having. It would be interesting if we saw them learn more about each other, or discover ways to deal with each other if one of them is being a dumb bitch. We get it. They love and care about each other. The world around them think it's weird. Every chapter just reinforces the same idea again and again.
I think KL could easily make this better. There's a bunch of plot points that are never brought up more than once that could be interesting. For instance, Kayla struggling to write new songs. We could see more of how she and Dame deal with that instead of having them mention "oh yeah, the problem is fixed now ". Does Damian ever earn Jack's forgiveness? Does Kayla learn anything new about demons?
KL, I believe you when you say these two care a lot about each other. And yeah, seeing how they make their relationship work in spite of what others think is an interesting idea on paper. But the characters don't become closer to each other or anything. Why would I be concerned about the issues presented in the story when I know that they're just going to be resolved in the same way?
You know it's kind of like sorbet...
I would still nonetheless recommend this story tho. Again, as much as I've ragged on it, I still think that the story is good. As mentioned before, I don't have much experience with romantic relationships, so perhaps something here could be lost on me. I'm curious to know anyone else's thoughts.
I apologize for wasting your time
- Spooky S Skeletons
Ps. Yes, quarantine is messing with my head :) just bear with me
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fairycosmos · 4 years
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i feel bitter that you get such kind, caring asks from people you dont even know. it makes me feel even more alone. im sorry.
it’s ok. i know that loneliness often breeds resentment, i’m that way myself sometimes….honestly i think it’s just the environment my blog like. it’s not something you need to take personally. i’m very active and open on here, and have been for years, so ppl respond in the same manner. it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them being kind out of the goodness of their hearts. if you haven’t received many messages like that, it’s not because you don’t deserve them. it’s most likely due to bad timing, limited exposure or missed opportunities for connection. it’s circumstantial, rather than bc of some irreversible flaw you think u have….ik thats hard to internalize but it’s true, not everythings your fault. another thing 2 take into account is that this is just a website. i’m beyonddddd grateful for the encouraging messages and they’ve genuinely helped me push through some of my worst moments, more than my family ever has or will. but they’re also just talking to one side of me, a snapshot of me filtered through the fast paced nature of social media. thats how we all interact on here, it’s how the internet is designed. so any perceptions we have of each other have to be taken with a grain of salt. like u said they dont know me, so they’re just trying to be nice bc all they see is my mental breakdown posts lol….not bc i necessarily ‘deserve it’ more than anyone else. ultimately building real substantial bonds with people will always be the best antidote to feeling lonely, rather than seeking online validation…. but anyway if it helps i live a pretty isolated existence in general lol and this small corner of the internet shouldn’t be a standard that you hold your social life up against. if it makes you really uncomfortable you can unfollow like ghfjdks i genuinely understand and it’s not a big deal. but you should curate your dash to fit your mental health/needs above all
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Primez!
hell yeah thankyou!!! [2, 5, 17 been answered]
(3) maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?
i’m that theatre gay who’s never Really been in any theatre production. and there was an archery place like 10 min from where i grew up and i was like “ooh archery how cool” b/c i’m a gay but never tried it
(7) amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.
hardly unheard of but i Don’t Like the approach to astrology that ppl have been getting in the past few yrs like. the Joke someone on twitter had that we’re like, on the verge of some astrological discrimination lawsuit……..and idk ppl get like pseudo-christian-style Smug about it like, don’t apply this to everyone??? and it’s just strange to like. tell people what they’re like. or explain their characteristics via this really strange westernized vague concept of astrology rather than like, tell me about the life experiences that affect the way that you are. like it’s almost condescending and ppl are being way too serious about it sometimes in (see: the on the verge of the lawsuit thing lol)…..anyways and i guess some of my Killjoy tendencies make me like, haha i’m the Hater b/c idk i’m real opinionated. but a lot of the times it’s not Really b/c i hate other’s joy or some shit, it’s just crap along the lines of like, “these ideas abt love which are meant to be Very Romantic actually strike me as being the Less ideal interpretation of love between people and the potential therein? and colder? and unhealthier / more unpleasant / not as nice / etc etc etc as my ideas on romance which i guess seem like i’m wanting to just shoot down some Lovely Concepts but i’m like. that doesn’t seem lovely. i’m on the very of launching into another essay abt Isolation Isn’t Romantic and Romance As Very Human And Ordinary And Even Mundane Seems A Lot Better Than The More ~Magical~ Approach and did i mention romance should be the Opposite of isolating and yet it’s so taken for granted sometimes that you’ll know it’s True Love when you [bass boosted DIE FOR EACH OTHER] and stop giving a shit about anyone but this one other person and etccccccccc [me screaming for hours]”
and a lot of times things that i guess are would-be Cute / Charming / Wholesome / Positive / Etc start to grate on me if i have to see it too much and i’ll probably end up hating or resenting it but like, not because i hate happy stuff, but b/c it just like. is like, i like things to be Genuine, and it will just feel like this is Performing genuine…ness………..which i don’t like. b/c it’s being Not genuine to try to appeal on the grounds that it’s genuine? yknow. which also extends into the realm of “i hate this Cute music over this cute animal video. don’t tell me how to feel about it” and when something tries to be Surprising in the realm of like, pseudo-dissonant like. oh this is a cute harmless white girl on the ukulele but she just said “fuck” and “std’s” or some crap!!! whaaaaaat!!!!! like, i hate this actually? can i die
i could give a ted talk just showing vines that make it into plenty of people’s compilations and being like “this is why this vine is Not Funny (Enough)” 
(also i do sometimes hate Having Fun. doge speak was so awful. of Course gop congress adopted it briefly in its original heyday. even now i hate the derivatives. i’m not about to rb something that contains the word birb. can i die)
also i think star wars is boring. i think cargo pants are fun and fine. 
(11) orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.
we get confirmation that any Winston Footage is filmed for billions s5. soph i know that like, fitting in almost 3 hrs of subway travel / going into nj and back / probably having to do all this on a weekend / having like a 5 second window maybe makes it difficult but we all agree it’d make another epic gamer moment if you got to see lihn
(13) bonfire - describe your dream house.
lol being in my teenz in 2008 i haven’t thought about it much tbh. i think i’d like a pretty cozy (smallish) bedroom and just a lot of physical Niches yknow. i like to frequent very specific spots which are not too out in the open. and really everything would be kinda Cozy Smallish but not the kitchen. get some space there, and like, raised counters like for julia child being 6′2″ b/c Standard Height is not comfortable for me either at my tender 5′11″ or 6″ness. and i always think that those sitty spaces that are like, Depressed into the floor are fun. i know there’s a word for that, but whatever. there’s a bunch of very disparate color schemes i’d think i’d like, so like, idk if i’d just go for totally different Aesthetic Approaches from room to room to try to cover all of them lol
(19) pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?
i mean i think it’s more important to recognize that anyone is entirely capable of Doing good or bad, and arguing about what they Truly Are In Their Hearts is beside the point. but i also think the idea that like oooh if Polite Society crumbles enough we’ll all just be roving in bloodthirsty packs, looking to kill each other and loot / probably eat the corpses, etc etc ~dark gritty bold~ apocalyptic material that’s like wow yeah that’s really confronting the Uncomfortable True Nature of society. like, capitalism is already a brutal and inhumane situation to exist in, but it’s not some emergent expression of Human Nature like, oh, life is just like this, empty and alienating and unfulfilling unless you [physical violence b/c it is Genuine], or that people would turn on each other if we were in survival mode, like…..no. survival mode always entails helping others to survive like. yeah not for necessarily Every individual? but that’s just more of anyone’s capacity to Do good or bad. but humans as a species are not solitary, we’re social b/c that’s how we all exist in relation to each other, society is innate to us and not some Luxury that distances us from our True Natures. we communicate with each other and want to work together even beyond helping each other survive and want to connect to each other and total / imposed isolation is Bad for anyone. and i think that love and altruism are Human Nature too. like, it’s weird when it’s treated like some evolutionary mystery why humans (or individuals of other species) would exercise altruism and/or self-destruction (or the risk of it) for the sake of others? like “but it doesn’t make sense b/c for us survival means Passing On Genes, we protect ourselves and our ability to exist and procreate, and we protect those most genetically similar to us, down the line to favoring your most distant cousin over a random stranger,” etc etc What A Mystery Why We Are Altruistic!!! but it’s not?? like? we don’t just see ourselves as individuals and we recognize the self in the other, and that we are all just Arbitrarily the self that we happen to be, and are all The Other to everyone else’s Myself…..and why would humanity not Preserve itself beyond just individuals looking out for just their individual existence? we just like. don’t only prioritize the preservation of our own genetic code. why should it be a less Survivally Successful approach for any individual to look out for any other individual? of Course we give a shit about other randos who don’t have any familial or even any other personal connection to us at all b/c we just care about the survival of other humans. 
anyways! no yeah so i think that Love and Altruism are intrinsic human nature. like creativity and communication. we aren’t like, always doomed to destroy each other b/c That’s Humans For You. denying the humanity in others inherently requires actually just reducing one’s own humanity, yknow??? re: human nature anyways. i know we’re all still technically human regardless of how we act. and that the self-destructive destruction of others is a feature of humanity, but i don’t think it’s one which is Inherent or Inevitable. i.e. the Self-Destruction thing. capitalism is out here threatening everyone’s existence and just so happens to require placing the Wealthy Few above the worth of the lives of all the rest, who are the cheap labor force rather than Just As Human as the richest. anyways. mostly Good! but the point is still that anyone can do Bad regardless so like, who cares if you have some good in your heart, bitch we all do.
(23) ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?
still a bit effed up on missing the theoretical concept of an in-person group of people who are consistent in genuinely enjoying / being enthusiastic about time spent with you. one reason it’s theoretical is that i’ve never Really had a whole in-person friend group exaactly. and it’s theoretical b/c idk, it’s not easy for me to feel comfortable Being Myself around others and like, i like being in groups as a rando amongst strangers really easily, but if it’s like, we’re all in a group and talking and stuff, i can just go into [stifled mode] real easily, idk, it’s hard to say whether the times i’ve been Uncomfortable in groups like that is just like, it not being the right people, or that i just will always like smaller groups or just one-on-one or smthing i dunnooooo. either way i get depressed about Wouldn’t It Be Nice though so idk? i guess i would still ideally seek it out. but i also can’t feel like i can actually expect this to happen. on a related note i forgot to mention Briony Atkins as this minor character who is very like me in being someone who is outwardly v withdrawn and quiet and comes across as not speaking b/c she has nothing to say but in reality she’s a passionate and boisterous person who just rarely shows / expresses it around others. i’m out here never talking (and getting the chance to talk aloud and it’s like a mile a minute all at once trying to compensate) and being pretty quiet and people get surprised when i have An Opinion even though i’m super opinionated lol and i just find it really hard to be myself around others unless i’m operating completely on my own and beholden to no one, but even then. anxious
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sagemoderocklee · 5 years
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Did you watch road to ninja? I don't think it was a 100/10 movie, but the thing about switching personalities was interesting. What do you think that would be the change in Gaara's personality? And considering that Lee turned out to be a perv with no coordination, what would their relationship be like?
i never watched RtN because when it was first announced and i was looking for Lee’s AU self and i saw that he...didn’t have anything? it was just robbing lee of something interesting. and once again it’s like missed opportunities. and then i found out that lee’s lil thing that they half-assed and kind of dropped was... that he wears women’s underwear???? specifically like took tenten’s??? like what the fuck? there’s so many layers to that that upset me and i just have no interest in that. which sucks cause i’d loved the concept. i’d hated how neji was too in it. like he was an uber pervert. like ha ha men being perverts so funny! ugh 
but like as far as how things would have gone... or could have gone... 
if i’d had the chance to do a RtN AU Lee would not have been a pervert for one thing. I think Lee would have had a colder side, been judgmental and mean, and hard on others. I think he could have kept not being able to use ninjutsu and still been that way too. he would be a genius of hard work and he’d basically look down on anyone. like “oh you can do things i can’t but you’re still not as good as me? pathetic.” i think he’d curse and be crass and rude, and have very little respect for others, feel like he doesn’t need anyone because he didn’t have anyone to help him at all. 
because RtN is an inversion--or at least, that was the execution for most of the main cast. which is why i feel Lee should be mean and cold. lee’s hot headed in canon, but also incredibly kind and warm so an inverse of that is someone cold, distant, aloof, and cruel. i don’t think he’d be driven by passion and determination, and i don’t think he’d wear the suit. i think he’d have like a kind of dangerous air about him as opposed to a goofy air that make ppl underestimate him. 
with gaara, that’s a hard one. i think with gaara like the first thing is to just like scrap the stuff during the chuunin exams in terms of how he carried himself from the ages of 6 to 12. like that trauma is not who he is, who he is is the child we saw in the flashbacks where he was sweet and soft and kind; he reached out to ppl. he wanted to have closeness. he wanted to have love in his life. and what we see of him after that is someone who doesn’t know how to navigate the world around him in a healthy way so he seems closed off and stoic and distant, but he’s actually highly emotional and empathetic. 
so with all that being said, i think gaara would not be empathetic. i don’t think he would have cared about others at all, and i think that being a jinchuuriki would heighten that. make him more set apart and more determined to remain that way. since RtN is an AU, i’d have to assume that the trauma he experienced didn’t happen. instead he would have had a family that loved and supported him, but that he was ultimately uninterested in. i think he’d see emotional ties, love and friendship, as weakness and not strength. i think all softness and kindness would be gone from him, and we’d have a harder much crueler character. 
i think it’d be easy to say “oh gaara would be bubbly and friendly and clingy” but i think that’s too easy and honestly not an inverse of who he is, because who he is is someone who does deeply want connections to others, he just doesn’t express himself in a way that translates that way. 
so i think what we have is two ppl who would both be rather cruel--i think Lee would be cold in his cruelty, whereas i think Gaara’s would be like scorching. like i think gaara would be more prone to loud anger, and i think lee would be more prone to quiet bouts of rage.
if we say they still face off in the chuunin exams i think lee should win--cause let’s be real he should have won in the first place. i think lee being a genius of hard work should be an element that turns the series narrative on its head. like he’s not proving that he can be a genius on par with the likes of neji and sasuke and gaara. he is a genius and he outstrips them by miles. 
so i think he’d win that fight, which immediately changes their history. 
i think from there, they’d butt heads a lot. i think they’d have situations where they’re thrown together a lot, and there’d be resentment between them and a sort of “i don’t like you, i don’t need you” vibe. like they’re reluctant to work together, but they do, and they sort of develop this begrudging comradery, but they get into little snits a lot in the middle of situations where they really cannot get into it. gaara will yell at lee and lee will turn a cold shoulder to him, but the moment gaara’s in danger lee’s there to save him. 
they genuinely develop a relationship where they really care about each other, but i think have a hard time expressing that or admitting to it because of their perspectives. Gaara thinks love and friendship is weakness; Lee sees himself as better than. he doesn’t need love because he’s too good to need that. he doesn’t need others, he doesn’t need support. he just needs himself, his strength, his speed. he did everything on his own, he got to where he is on his own. he doesn’t need Gaara. 
i think there’d be a lot of tension between them when they come to the point where they realise “oh... i care about this person” and i think it would actually cause problems especially in battle. i think there’d need to be that high stakes moment where they’re problems with communicating lead to one of them almost dying, which forces them to finally acknowledge that maybe they do need each other, and more than that maybe they actually want each other--like it’s one thing to need someone in your life, it’s another to want them there. and they have to come to that realisation that “I want this person here. i want this person at my side.” 
and for both of them that would be so hard to accept until they really finally need to. 
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seungwoomi-blog · 5 years
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hewwwwo. if ur wondering why u might have already been following me it’s bc i was here for a hot minute b4 real life absorbed my soul. ANYWAY this is seungwoo! he’s a 24 y/o med student, intern @ myeongcho hospital, and a medic in phoenix. 
click here for more info! and peek below the cut for a (sort of tl;dr) summary. otherwise, plz like this post if u want to plot and i’ll come zoomin to ur ims :’) thx buds! 
background
born and raised in myeongcho !!!! where my party ppl AT !!!! his family’s always been on the poorer side and getting them out of poverty and into a life of comfort has been his motivation and end goal for as long as he can remember. seungwoo has been devoted 2 being diligent abt his studies and making sure 2 be a good kid so people respect his parents since youth :’) he just rly loves his family it hurts 
just works really grossly hard (read: OVERworks) because he’s stuck in this dog eat dog world mentality... genuinely thinks he has to carry the world on his shoulders if he wants to save his family from bearing the blunt of the blow.
yea he just wants his family to be good
sacrifices his dream of becoming a photographer !!!!! to focus his efforts on med school from a Very young age. 
joins a gang (phoenix) when he’s eighteen out of desperation bc his parents need money and he isn’t sure how else to get it quick bc his convenience store gig isn’t cutting it. does a smattering of very low-key, behind the scenes jobs; spends a lot of time shadowing the (then) medics. he doesn’t hate it, tbh? he’s ok with it, but he goes into phoenix with the mindset that This is Not Forever and as soon as the money’s there... he’s gonna dip. 
takes a lil longer !!!! than anticipated ! it’s almost four years later that he finally, finally builds up the resolve to quit when ( tw kidnapping ) he finds out his little brother’s gone missing. this is rly hard on him bc he adores his little brother and beats himself up for not being able to protect him/be as present as he’d like to have been. finds out that there’s a high likelihood that said lil bro might have been kidnapped by a local gang, so seungwoo (begrudgingly) stays in phoenix because he thinks it’ll be easier to find his bro when he has the “connections.” ( end tw )
in 2017, when seungwoo decides to stick with phoenix for those personal reasons, he also starts med school and officially becomes a medic for phoenix. 
he’s v good at keeping his gang life separate and distinct from his “real” life. he doesn’t have any interest in blurring the lines, and is v explicit about keeping what he does in the shadows a secret—mostly bc he doesn’t want to make life any harder for his parents. 
currently: still in med school, still in phoenix, really just an exhausted sack of bones that wants to find his brother and live a comfortable life. 
personality
some powerful big bro energy... he will dote on u... he will tease u...... he loves taking care of ppl............ disgosting
ok but fr? he’s very ambitious and very diligent and sometimes (oftentimes) one-track-minded, but he’s a good guy. has a good head on his shoulders. he just has very distinct priorities and it’ll take a lot to sway him from what he thinks is the right path. 
not the sociable type—doesnt mind meeting new ppl at all! but he’s not the type to approach new ppl. friends are cool but he hates small talk and hates wasting time. 
no he will not talk to u about his problems he doesnt even want to THINK about his problems (jk he does want to think abt them, and he will. he will overthink them 2 death.) (but no he fr does not want to talk to u about them.)
rly good at detaching himself from his surroundings. very good at compartmentalizing things. VERY good at separating gang life from “who he actually is” (haha sike u fake and we been knew). it’s why the violence and shit doesn’t rly bother him as much as he wishes it would—bc he’s good at puttin his heart on the back-burner when it gets too meddlesome.
haha can anyone say gray morality 
has a rly strong survival instinct but it’s kind of hard bc he has to reconcile it with this self-sacrificing martyr syndrome he has where he does not value his life as much as his parents’ or his brother’s but he Does value it to the extent that he obvi needs 2 be alive to help them.
omg ok emo stuff and the harrowing issue of not wanting to talk to anyone abt the important stuff ever, he is GOOD KID.
has a soft spot for ppl who need to be taken care of. having a fship w/ seungwoo is easygoing and low-pressure he just wants to tease u and make u hold his hand Zz
IN CONCLUSION, HE’S GOT SOME ISSUES !!!!! but he’s friendly and harmless for the most pt and really is just like an exhausted grandpa who is almost always on the verge of caffeine od. 
wanted connections
check out some basic ones i whipped up here! otherwise, he’s flexible :’)
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kyunsmaindish · 4 years
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Your long time story idea.... hits all the GOOD PLACES, I love it!! Political intrigue? Lgbt+ characters?? MUTUAL PINING????? I’m collapsing 💕💕
skjflkdsajfldj i’m so glad !!! bc i get really nervous about how ppl feel about my writing / story ideas. also .... the main couple are both bi ( the girl had a big dumb crush on a study buddy when she was younger that i will state explicitly and the prince also has radiated mlm energy ) so ... just to add more to the lgbt+ characters besides lesbian princess with her dancer gf. 
( i’m gonna gush now i’m so sorry ) 
the main female’s name is urraca bc i just like that name lmao. idk about the prince bc i have a harder time picking one for him but i’ve been leaning towards like ... kay. idk i like how quick and simple it is. 
urraca gets misjudged as being really cold by others but she’s closed off bc being a political prisoner means you could die at any moment and also not to trust anyone. even when she gets out of her confinement via marriage, she’s just so ... skjfdslk bad at socializing like it might appear to other people she’s cold but that’s not the case she’s just really awkward bc she doesn’t have a lot of practice but she’s SO POLITICALLY SAVVY AND INTELLIGENT. she starts to adapt to being with people after marrying kay bc then she moves in with him so she’s around his sister ( who is energetic and kind of hotheaded ) and his mom ( who is more on the elegant and graceful side ) who help her remember what it is like to have a family/open up to people since her mom is dead and her dad ( who frankly has no spine bc i said so ) has really not put in any effort to contact her since she was taken as a political prisoner. 
urraca is kinda like a princess ... there’s not really an equivalent for that where she’s from. her mother was actually from a nation made up of several different clans where it’s always cold ( think the water nation from atla kind of thing ) but they’re like .... warriors like her mother was a bad b*tch with her weapons and that’s why her father married bc he was like ‘ .... damn need me a freak like that ‘ when he saw her mother fight. her mom is also the fuel for the revenge plot bc her mother and urraca go to kay’s kingdom to meet with the king ( aka his dad ) on a diplomatic journey but it’s just a way to take them both captive so they can be used as leverage against her father but uuuh ... urraca’s mom doesn’t make it through trying to get captured and urraca is forced to just .... stay there ... while  her dad does nothing bc he’s actually a weakling and ..... 
to be fair the political / geographical landscape is dominated by kay’s dad’s kingdom so even if they went to war .... urraca’s nation would get crushed .... but her plan from that point on is to find a way to kill the king and politically disrupt the kingdom so it can be weakened and she can eventually get back home ... but as you can imagine the closer you try to get to the king the harder it is and the more secrets and conflicts you come across
and like ... omg kay. you know when hyungwon had that long curly dark hair recently ..... that’s what he looks like in my mind alkjsfdlks
ok i know i said he acts like a fool and he does but it’s such a good cover for him bc his dad ( aka the king ) literally is just trying to pit all of the princes against each other so they can kill each other for the throne. kay is like .... no, thanks : ) and pretends to be so fslkajfkd not qualified to be the heir but he does all of his stuff secretly like he has political connections and is also charismatic, incredibly smart and good at many things ( archer, dancing, literature
 kay is not the first born prince ( he’s like fifth ) and his mom isn’t the queen but his dad is really only interested in having the strongest heir so he legitimizes all of his children. the king is like ..... he’s one of the characters that you’ll love and hate at the same time bc he does bad things and says bad things but he’s tragically stuck in an old-fashioned mindset and kay is his antithesis. 
  urraca and kay ... like i’m gonna make them slow burn ... filled with mutual pining and respect. they’re both in their 20s when they get married but urraca is actually older than kay by two years. and klsajf idk i want to write kay as being respectful of her bc ... yeah they are married and he’s had a giant stupid crush on her since they were like 10 or so but like .... he’s not gonna make her do anything she doesn’t want to no matter who says shit ( it’s his dad ... he says shit ) so .... you all are just gonna have to wait for like three years into the marriage before they do anything beyond hand holding kajsfljds. 
  but i want them to be such a heartwarming couple. yeah they did get married for convenience but ... you’re gonna be able to tell they already have a kinda-sorta friendship with each other and enough respect for each other but they are literally discovering things about each other during this marriage. also alskfjslkj kay .... kay teases urraca A LOT so if you like that dynamic .... ur gonna be having fun. being with his mom and sister helps her open up more to him and actually come to love him so it’s like .... not just gonna be him that only changes her it’s gonna be that whole family dynamic all four are gonna have that’s gonna help her open up and become a warm individual. she pines for him bc she’s genuinely afraid of what can happen and bc being vulnerable scares her so even when she realizes she loves him for real she’s gonna keep him away but also want to hold his hand. 
sb: doesn’t seem like ur wife likes to show affection. maybe you can find someone else?kay: i would literally rather die. i love my wife. i miss her. i’m gonna go home now. ok bye : ) 
ALSO everybody knows that kay has been pining for urraca for like years now and she has no clue at all. his sister is gonna be like ‘he’s been in love with you for years. he always brought you things you liked when he visited. you never noticed???’ and urraca is just ‘??? i thought he was just being nice???’ and like .... his sister @ urraca ‘you dumb b*tch i love you but i wished the braincells worked’ 
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thetraficante · 5 years
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YAY!!!! im sorry for this..... Edit but we have reached the end of 20gayteen and as always we’ve had wonderful incredibly well written fics by amazing, dedicated authors in every single corner of the 1d fandom, thank you SO MUCH for sharing your talent w us! i know that sometimes you feel like your work isnt appreciated enough, and im sorry for that because your talent is massive and we’re so lucky to have such legendary ppl writing stories out of their love for the 1d members. keep writing! keep doing what you love! you’ll always have an audience <3
this list is by no means Objective, its only a compilation of the 10 fics ive reread and yelled about the most. thank you to all the following authors for making me laugh, cry, gasp and shout! (for some of you i would’ve chosen more fics, your talent has produced many masterpieces in ONE year, how cool is that?)
now in a minute by @avocadolouie
13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for Louis it actually was.
More than anything in the world, Louis Tomlinson dreams of growing up. Simply skipping over all of the awkward, embarrassing years of teenage existence and getting on with life. Real life.
So when thirteen-year-old Louis wakes up in the body of his thirty-year-old self, he expected everything in his adult life to be picture perfect. And maybe it is. He has it all…or so it seems.
Except his favorite person and lifelong best mate, Harry Styles, is totally missing from the equation and Louis doesn’t understand why. He has a lot of catching up to do and as adult life turns out to be more than what he bargained for, Louis can’t help wondering why a life that seemed so perfect, feels so empty.
Or the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.
the second hand unwinds by @fullonlarrie
Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.
just call me inspiration by @hereforlou
The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.
(Or, the one where Louis is a writer, Harry is an art student, and they inspire each other in very different ways.)
make your words a weapon by @helloamhere
There’s no single path forward from the connection, no truth other than the truth that the person whose words you carry is out there, an undefined something that you’re going to have to deal with.
In whatever way you can possibly deal with meeting the stranger who's always been there, and always been missing.
OR: Louis is a music critic, Harry is a rockstar, soulmates are destiny but no one ever said destiny was easy, music is everything.
the road less travelled by by @freetheankles
Louis was a lumberjack happy to be living his life alone in what could qualify as Middle Of Nowhere, Canada.
Every morning, he went out into the woods, cut his logs, then came home at dusk to a scalding hot shower and a good book by the fireplace. Rinse and Repeat. He had a good life, quiet and peaceful; simple. Not a secluded one as Niall annoyingly claimed.
Louis certainly didn't need some chatty trespasser dropping into his life, his forest, his home. Invading his space, his circle of friends, touching his stuff, asking questions about his husband. His late husband.
A trespasser who wasn’t supposed to crawl under his skin, occupy his thoughts, and steal his heart from where Louis had locked it safely away, only to put it right back on Louis’ sleeve — where it once laid.
No, Louis definitely didn’t need Harry.
for as long as i can remember (it’s been december) by @greenfeelings
After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.
Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.
when the sun won’t let you sleep by @allwaswell16
Four years ago, Louis Tomlinson left the UK to live on an Antarctic research station for reasons best left in the past. He’s carved out a life for himself on the ice and has dedicated himself to his research, his friends, and especially the Halley VI research station. He’s less than thrilled when he learns that Harry Styles, a glaciologist from another base who once broke his heart, will be coming to Halley, and he’s definitely unprepared for the upheaval Harry brings with him.
promise in the sky by @hazzabeeforlou
AU in which Harry Styles, a naïve, repressed, socially awkward Midwestern highschooler tries to navigate his fundamentalist evangelical parents and radically progressive older sister. He’s doing an okay job of this until the Tomlinson family starts attending Lakeside Baptist Church and a boy named Louis changes everything. Harry is forced to come to grips with his true self when Louis becomes more than just his best friend; but their relationship opens a can of worms and sends them on the most painful, heartbreaking journey of their young lives. They risk everything and nearly lose, and Harry learns that perhaps only one Bible verse is true: that perfect love casteth out fear.
buried like treasure by @becomeawendybird
Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps.
Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.
take a chance on me by @velvetnoodle
Harry Styles, former member of the hugely successful boyband Status Single, returns to his hometown of Holmes Chapel with his daughter nine years after the band broke up and he disappeared from the limelight. Convinced he’s faded into obscurity by now, Harry deems this the perfect place to give his daughter a stable childhood, which includes signing her up to play football at the local club, of course.
The only problem is the coach, Louis, seems to dislike him. Like really, really dislike him. Which drives Harry mad, because everyone likes him. Everyone. So when he finds out Louis’ flat has flooded and he’s got nowhere to stay, Harry is quick to offer up his spare room in the hopes of winning the other man over.
(aka the Strangers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers Roommate AU you didn’t know you needed, feat. Single Dad!Harry, Footie Coach!Louis, a precocious 9 year old, a band of meddling family members, an overly excited labradoodle, an extremely Done cat, and a Shiall wedding you’ll never forget.)
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