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uwua3 · 4 years

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bunnie!!! ur mind!!! the songs fit each member so well omg,,, i kept singing each song lmao,,, also may i present to u: spring day for tsumugi and tasuku (esp for before + start of winter troupe main story) 👀

now this... this is what i wanted someone to REQUEST!!! i had to take a break from writing an angst song fic to write ANOTHER angst song fic because i genuinely love this prompt so much!!! thank you so much for reading my mind, pines, omg!!! it’s good to see you again~ also, i like your blue theme!

summary: tsumugi came back to him like the first snow of every winter

warnings: break ups, hatred, heartbreak

author’s note: ok tala already basically wrote out the plot for me but here we go ~ Angst ~ for the boys and it’ll be a song fic, so expect it to follow the lyrics! i wrote this with the canon idea in mind that tasuku and tsumugi are ex–boyfriends turned lovers again so don’t be surprised from the #Gay~ happy pride!

sometimes, you’re with the right person at the wrong time. if they come back, it’s meant to be and it’ll be okay ♡ remember, communication is key!

word count: 6,509

music: spring day (jpn) – bts

spring day.

❄️📚⚽️ tsukioka tsumugi x takoto tasuku

I MISS YOU, SAYING THIS MAKES ME MISS YOU EVEN MORE,

I MISS YOU, EVEN THOUGH I’M LOOKING AT YOUR PHOTO

TIME’S SO CRUEL, I HATE US

SEEING EACH OTHER FOR ONCE IS NOW SO HARD BETWEEN US

Tsumugi was gone, like he never existed.

Every trace of him that was ever in Tasuku’s life was gone, there was nothing left. The apartment was left empty, bare, lifeless; it felt nothing like home, not anymore. When Tasuku searched the apartment, there was truly nothing that resembled any evidence Tsumugi was even alive. It was as if, he didn’t want Tasuku to remember him. To forget, to ignore the person he had shared his entire life with.

Tasuku paused at the one sign Tsumugi was real: the single framed picture near the front door. It was placed on the counter, the same stand where the couple would drop their keys at so they knew where everything was. Tasuku wanted to hear the sound of the metal clattering against the ceramic bowl Tsumugi crafted in pottery class, to hear Tsumugi affectionately call out, “I’m home!”, and for his brown peacoat jacket to be hung on the hook behind the door. Tasuku wanted Tsumugi to come back.

When Tasuku picked up the picture, his hand was shaking. Tasuku remembered this exact frame: the day he realized he was in love with his best friend. Tsumugi’s blue eyes were staring straight at the Tasuku with an indescribable look, an expression created and meant for Tasuku only. Characters closer than rehearsal called for, like they were the only two people in the world. It was moments before Tasuku had leaned in and kissed his co–star on stage on opening night, going against the script and changing the rest of his life forever.

Tsumugi looked alive. Real, like he could’ve just had him forever right then and there. A tear dropped onto the glass, running down the frame before Tasuku covered his mouth with his free hand, falling down to his knees as he held the photo to his chest. He couldn’t help but cry, cry for all the years he had spent loving someone who just left. Being in love with a man who woke up and took everything with him, disappearing into thin air. All Tasuku had left of Tsumugi were the memories, and this single picture.

Tasuku exhaled, his breath coming out short and ragged as he stared at the picture again despite knowing every detail. He could feel everything: the intense heat of the stagelights upon them, the shocked stares of the cast and murmurs backstage, the overwhelming applause and standing ovation from the crowd after the scene. The way Tsumugi couldn’t let go of his hand, trembling under the sudden attention but never faltering.

Tasuku remembered how he stood in front of Tsumugi anytime someone questioned it, feeling his gentle touch at the base of his back for comfort. The endless lingering stares in practice, the unanswered questions about how this happened, the kiss on stage that was too real. How that night, Tsumugi pulled them into the apartment for more like he couldn’t wait anymore after all these years just to say, “I love you, Ta–chan”.

Tasuku’s tears streamed down his face silently, for once feeling the anguish and heartbreak his roles felt. The abandoned apartment was only Tasuku’s, like Tsumugi didn’t spend the last three years living with him. It was as if, Tsumugi never loved him.

Tasuku loved Tsumugi, so, so much.

IT’S ALL WINTER HERE, EVEN IN AUGUST

MY HEART IS RUNNING ON THE TIME

ALONE ON THE SNOWPIERCER

WANNA GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EARTH, HOLDING YOUR HAND

Tasuku was gone, and it was all his fault.

Tsumugi gripped the ticket in his hand, staring down the luggage he hastily packed. It was nearly bursting at the seams as he fiddled with the buckles, making sure nothing could hold him back from leaving his home. Nothing could keep Tsumugi from staying, as he silenced his phone and pocketed it away, missing the tens of calls and hundreds of text messages from his one and only. Tsumugi knew if he even checked for a second, he’d come running back to the man he loved most only to fail him again.

Tsumugi leaned back in his seat in the waiting area, surrounded by few, none of whom recognized him. How could they, when he had given up on succeeding as an actor like a coward? Tsumugi pulled up the collar of his jacket, slouching into his coat to hide from the rest of the world. He didn’t deserve to show his face, not after everything he did to Tasuku.

Tasuku would’ve woken up by now to go on his morning run. Tsumugi was supposed to beg him not to go, wanting the warmth to stay in bed just a little longer. Tasuku was supposed to firmly say no, give a kiss on the cheek as compensation, but come back much sooner than expected with a pretty flower he picked for Tsumugi. Tsumugi would get up and put in a vase, and the two would share breakfast together like always. It was the same for the past three years, Tsumugi felt his stomach rumble, he wasn’t a fan of breaking routine.

Tsumugi stared at his ticket, luckily recognizing the location he picked. He had to go, to leave, to abandon everything he had here with Tasuku that he impulsively arrived at the station with nothing but a suitcase and hopes for amnesia. However, it could’ve helped if Tsumugi even knew where this town was in Japan exactly, where his new start would be. He just knew it was far enough, and Tasuku would never find him there.

Tsumugi couldn’t help but think of how Tasuku must have been doing. Was he okay? Did he just think Tsumugi was out doing random errands? They were low on eggs, that could’ve bought him some time. Yet, some part of him, some selfish, undeserving fraction of his heart, wanted Tasuku to be running to the train station and taking him home. Back into his arms and safe from every insecurity Tsumugi ever had, Tsumugi wanted to come home.

As Tsumugi stood up, clutching his luggage with him and turning towards the exit to apologize to his boyfriend, the automated voice overheard announced his train was leaving in five minutes. Tsumugi stopped, the crowd pushing against his direction as they all headed towards the train. Tsumugi slowly turned too, forcing himself towards the entrance as he looked back once. Tasuku wasn’t there, maybe he didn’t want him to come back.

Tsumugi entered the train and found his seat, refusing to look out of his window. If he did, he would’ve saw Tasuku sprinting down the train station corridors and missing the train that took off.

If only, Tsumugi closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window as he sat alone, he was enough for Tasuku.

But, he wasn’t. Not now.

WANNA PUT AN END TO THIS WINTER

HOW MUCH LONGING SHOULD WE SEE SNOWING DOWN, TO HAVE THE DAYS OF SPRING, FRIEND?

When Tasuku departed the train station, out of breath from his fastest mile time yet, it began to snow. God must’ve hated him, wanted him to suffer, because Tasuku dropped down onto a bench for cover and stared at the snowflakes. He thought about how Tsumugi would’ve reacted, knowing how much his lover adored the winter season.

It was when Tsumugi’s timid, shy voice would amplify when he discussed anything he loved (did Tsumugi ever do that when the topic approached Tasuku?). Tsumugi would excitedly rave about the Christmas lights decorating the mall plaza that illuminated every shadow on his face in a rainbow of colors, the peppermint candy cane in his hot chocolate with those tiny marshmallows Tasuku always found too sweet but pretended to like anyways, even the minature train set up for the little kids to ride on and the fake but enthusiastic Santa sitting on a throne (Tsumugi liked reminding everyone Tasuku believed in Santa until third grade, much to his embarrassment).

Most importantly, Tsumugi loved the snow. When the first snow came, Tsumugi dropped everything he was doing to run outside and take it all in. More than once, Tasuku had to follow his boyfriend and attempt to convince Tsumugi to come inside or else he’d get sick. But, when Tasuku saw the white snowflakes surrounded Tsumugi’s midnight blue hair like a halo, the youthful energy building in his wide, happy eyes, and the way Tsumugi’s cheeks were flushed just waiting to be adored, Tasuku would stay outside for his angel even if it meant nursing him back to health.

Tasuku reached his hand out, feeling the soft embrace of the snow upon his fingertips. Was this a sign Tsumugi was still with him? Or, was this the universe’s fucked–up way of telling him to move on? His hand started shaking again, Tasuku dropped it to his side, wondering if it was because the temperature dropped significantly or he was still experiencing the side–effects of an anxiety attack. Frustrated, Tasuku wiped the tears off his face as he took out his phone and tried again. It went straight to voicemail, and Tasuku blinked away the remaining tears as he looked up at the grey clouds.

“Hello~ This is Tsukioka Tsumugi, I’m so sorry for not responding! If you have a message, please share at this beep! Beep~”

Tasuku hung onto every word, pretending like Tsumugi was next to him admiring the snow with awe. But, he wasn’t, not now or not ever for the next few years. Tasuku shivered, steeling his face as he sadly stared at the snow, wishing it wasn’t winter.

“Look outside. It’s the first snow.” Tasuku simply stated before hanging up, standing up and leaving the station. Tasuku didn’t look back, there was nothing for him left anymore, not even Tsumugi.

The snow seemed to follow him home, Tasuku wondered if the snow would bring Tsumugi back to him. Back home, back to him.

LIKE THE TINY DUST FLOATING IN THE AIR

WILL I GET TO YOU FASTER, IF I WAS THE SNOW IN THE AIR?

Tsumugi woke up just a hour later, awaken by the train chugging along the icy tracks as the passengers murmured something about the cold. Blinking slowly, Tsumugi adjusted his eyes to the darkened sky as he watched the urban city transform into a rural, country landscape. Yet, no matter where he went, there was snow.

Sitting up, Tsumugi pressed his face against the glass as he giddily admired the first snow of the winter season. He turned to the empty seat next to him, a big smile on his tired face.

“Ta–chan, look—” Tsumugi started, before his voice faded off to silence. An awkward, sheepish laugh left his lips when Tsumugi noticed the train attendant was shooting odd glances at him, though he expected some reaction since Tsumugi was an adult talking to nothing. Tsumugi shuffled back to look through the window, but it wasn’t the same. When was the last time he had experienced the first snow alone? Tasuku was always with him, but not anymore.

The snow swirled like it was a graceful waltz, and Tsumugi fondly remembered him and Tasuku’s first dance. It was perhaps a year into living together as roommates, and it was much later than they had anticipated. The radio was on, classical music a low hum in the background as Tasuku and Tsumugi studied their new scripts. It was another college play and the two were meant to learn ballroom dancing for their roles.

Tsumugi remembered the way Tasuku’s large frame let Tsumugi rest his head comfortably on his chest, the way their hands perfectly fit together, how they swayed in their empty kitchen like they were married. Tsumugi faintly traced his lips, remembering how Tasuku was about to lean in when he looked down, but Tsumugi had laughed and pushed him away, talking about how Tasuku always got too serious and connected to his characters. He regretted it, he should’ve kissed Tasuku back then.

Tsumugi finally broke down, trying to keep in his sobs as he tried to focus on the snow. He curled into a fetal position on the seat, closing his jacket around his mouth as he slammed his eyes shut. He knew his sniffles couldn’t be heard over the train operating, so he cried underneath the first snow.

Tsumugi didn’t even kiss Tasuku before he left forever.

SNOWFLAKES FALL DOWN AND GET FARTHER AWAY LITTLE BY LITTLE

I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU

HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT AND HOW MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS DO I HAVE TO SPEND TO SEE YOU, TO MEET YOU

Tsumugi stepped into the snow. After thanking the train conductor and checking out, the quiet town was covered in snow by the time he arrrived. It was still early afternoon, the tall skyscrapers and bustling citylife were gone, it was quiet now. This would be his community for the rest of his life, just hours away from his home. He was about to become a new person, but, how could he when the snow followed wherever he was?

Tsumugi stood at the entrance, not blocking anyone’s way since no one was there to begin with. It was just him underneath the roof of the station, waiting by the route map for a bus. It should be here in the next thirty minutes, so Tsumugi leaned against the exterior with a sigh, his breath soldifying mid–air. It was cold, frozen almost and Tsumugi’s hands felt like ice from being outside. It was winter, after all.

Fidgeting, Tsumugi shifted back and forth as he tried to find something to look at other than the snow. But, the vast land stretched for miles, buried in white like a snow globe. There was nothing here, and Tsumugi was afraid there was nothing for him as well.

A buzz. It caught Tsumugi’s attention as he impulsively checked his phone despite his rule not to. The silence must’ve turned off after a certain amount of time, as Tsumugi scrolled through the notifications bar. Just some colleagues congratulating him on his move, and family members requesting postcards. That was it, Tsumugi was about to close out of the messages before he noticed a number he memorized near the voicemail section.

Tsumugi pressed speaker, putting the phone next to his ear as he heard the stomp of work boots against the snow. And then, a quiet shudder, like a breath he held in for too long. Tasuku spoke but it sounded far away, like he really wasn’t there anymore.

“Look outside. It’s the first snow.” The line ended and Tsumugi blinked, trying to keep his tears in but he was so exhausted. Tsumugi dropped down to sit against the wall, sobbing loudly with no one to hear him for miles. Tsumugi held the phone to his chest, replaying the voicemail over and over again just to hear the love of his life’s voice. The same as always, never–changing and serious like his life depended on it.

Tsumugi cried and cried under the first snow until his bus arrived, the driver staring at him with something of concern. Tsumugi pushed himself back up at the sound of the bus stopping and gripped his bag, heading up the stairs and trying to pay the fare respectfully. A single word wasn’t exchanged, but the driver simply shook his head and gestured for him to go sit anywhere he wanted.

Tsumugi was too tired to insist on paying, just numbly nodded and rested his head against the window.

He wondered if Tasuku was looking at the same sky as him right now.

PASSING BY THE EDGE OF COLD WINTER

UNTIL THE DAYS OF SPRING, UNTIL THE DAYS OF FLOWER BLOSSOMS

PLEASE STAY, PLEASE STAY THERE A LITTLE LONGER

Tasuku called Tsumugi every day until the number was changed. He had left voicemails updating Tsumugi of his day, his days that were all the same. Every time Tasuku tried to apologize, his pride couldn’t make him say sorry without sounding like he was being forced, so he didn’t. Tasuku didn’t insist Tsumugi to come home, only to stay safe and take his time.

Tasuku told Tsumugi about their favorite theatre holding another play, one which he would have gotten front row tickets for. About how strangely quiet it was, not having to keep a watering of plants schedule anymore, having to wake up and go to sleep alone, not knowing where Tsumugi was. Tasuku spoke more than he ever did back then, knowing if this was his only way to be in touch with Tsumugi, he was going to take it and run like hell.

It was mid–winter early morning, and Tasuku was running, phone against his ear as he instinctually nearly picked a flower to bring home. He stopped, slightly panting as he waited for Tsumugi’s typical voicemail, but it didn’t beep. Instead, it was an automated voice, informing him this number was currently inactive.

Tasuku realized, that number was one of the only things he had left of Tsumugi.

Tasuku hung up, in disbelief as he pocketed his phone. Did he even listen to his voicemails? Where was he? Why couldn’t he just answer? Tasuku was about to phone Tsumugi again just to make sure, but one look at his contact picture was enough to make him stop and put it away. He knew too much about Tsumugi, but he had never felt this confused about someone in his entire life. Was this, for the best? Why did he change his number? Was this a sign?

Perhaps, it was finally time to move on, as the snow fell around Tasuku.

IS IT YOU WHO CHANGED, OR IS IT ME?

I HATE THIS MOMENT, THIS TIME FLOWING BY

WE ARE CHANGED, YOU KNOW

JUST LIKE EVERYONE YOU KNOW

Tsumugi tried to moved on, forgetting all about his past as he buried himself in his work and need to just ignore his past. He regularly updated his family on his predicament, claiming it was his mid–life crisis despite being in his early twenties. None of them asked about Tasuku, it was like they knew what had happened between them. Tsumugi built himself a life on a lie, conversing well with co–workers but coming back to an empty apartment at the end of the day.

At night, that’s when Tsumugi thought about Tasuku the most. Laying in bed through the sleepless nights without any want to close his eyes. How could he when all Tsumugi could see was Tasuku, Tasuku who he left because he was scared. Tsumugi stared up at the ceiling, the moonlight coming in through his open window as the curtains swayed slightly in the wind. The room was blue, and so was Tsumugi.

Leaving wasn’t planned, but it wasn’t a quick decision, either. Tsumugi remembered it all, falling in love with his best friend which he wasn’t worthy of. It was the night before everything changed, the last argument they had together. It was late, so late Tsumugi couldn’t keep his eyes open without crying when Tasuku raised his voice. He knew he didn’t mean to, he knew that now.

But back then, Tsumugi was so scared and trembling and terrified of how big Tasuku was. How intense he was with everything he said, the unrelenting passion burning and fueling Tasuku to do everything he did. Tasuku was fire, uncontrollable, raging flames that over time, melted Tsumugi to be nothing but a weak form of who he used to be.

“Tsumugi, why do you always give up like this? You can’t quit, you can’t keep doing this!” Tasuku demanded an answer, slamming his fist down on the kitchen table as he stood up, making Tsumugi flinch in his usual seat. When Tsumugi had told Tasuku they needed to talk, he didn’t expect this. Not the burning anger in Tasuku’s eyes, like this was the ultimate betrayal: to quit acting.

“I... I’m so sorry, Ta–chan.” Tsumugi tried to smile, but his form was shaking. He was shivering despite waking up in the middle of the night in Tasuku’s arms. Tasuku scoffed, like this whole situation was unbelievable, like he didn’t even know who Tsumugi was.

“We—you promised we’d be acting on the same stage together, to be in the same troupe together, do you remember that?” Tasuku spoke, all the frustrations he hid inside him coming out and singing every corner of Tsumugi’s stability. Tsumugi nodded carefully, trying to hide his shaky hands underneath the table as he gripped the base of the chair. He couldn’t start crying, not right now, not in front of Tasuku.

“I know, but I can’t. Not anymore, not when I can’t be the actor you want me to be.” Tsumugi tried to reason, but Tasuku just became even angrier. Like, this was the worst possible thing he could have ever said to him. Tsumugi wanted to reach out and flatten the creases on Tasuku’s forehead, gently cup his face with his trembling hands just to show he still loved him. But when Tsumugi tried to move closer, Tasuku held his hand up, like he couldn’t bear being anywhere near Tsumugi.

“Why do you keep doing this? Why... when we’re happy together?” Tasuku asked, but even he sounded unsure. Was Tsumugi happy with this relationship? Was this why he was quitting? Tsumugi didn’t say anything, just stared at his lover in silence with the pain of a thousand lifetimes. As if, this was his breaking point. Like, acting was slowly killing him to the point he had to run away. Or was it their relationship that pushed Tsumugi away? Did it go too fast? Was it not enough?

“What does this mean for us?” Tsumugi finally choked out, clearing his throat at his voice crack towards the end. The clock ticked, onward and onward even though it felt like time stopped. Tasuku just shook his head and went back into the bathroom. Tsumugi knew, this was the end.

Before Tasuku went, he stopped at the entrance and looked at Tsumugi, with something of tiredness and love all at once. Like, there was still a chance. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow morning, okay?” Tasuku offered, not questioning a thing when Tsumugi nodded with his fingers crossed behind his back.

Tsumugi stayed in the kitchen, keeping in his sobs as he let the tears finally fall down his face. He didn’t know ending his career would feel like the end of his first and only relationship.

Tsumugi went into their shared bedroom after he composed himself, but had to hang onto the door frame when he saw Tasuku was sleeping again, just with dried tears on his pillow. Tsumugi couldn’t do this to Tasuku, not when he couldn’t be the best actor for his boyfriend.

So, Tsumugi just took the suitcase he packed beforehand in case worst came to worst, he didn’t expect to use it. Tsumugi quietly was about to leave the bedroom, but looked back, wanting nothing more than to go back to bed and pretend like this break up never happened. He knew how much Tasuku must’ve been hurting, to have all these years acting together thrown away. Tsumugi couldn’t be selfish this time, not anymore, and left without another word.

Tsumugi always remembered it, how Tasuku cried himself to sleep because Tsumugi quit. That was all he could do, give up when it became too hot. That’s all he always did, nothing changed.

Tsumugi listened to the voicemails one last time, crying into his pillow as he heard the man he loved’s voice echo in his bedroom. He knew, he had to let go, to force Tasuku to move on. How could Tasuku love him after all this time, when he wasn’t the person he thought Tsumugi was? Which life was a lie, this one or the one where he acted on stage with Tasuku?

When Tsumugi changed his number, he didn’t look back. He had to move on, too, even if he was still in love with his best friend. Tsumugi would never see Tasuku again, knowing he was somewhere living his dream of acting was enough, that was more than enough. Tsumugi closed his eyes as the snow embraced him, falling delicately upon his eyelashes as a single tear dropped to the ground.

Tsumugi promised one day, he would see Tasuku on stage again.

YES I HATE YOU, YOU LEFT ME

BUT I NEVER STOPPED THINKING ABOUT YOU, NOT EVEN A DAY

HONESTLY I MISS YOU, BUT I’LL ERASE YOU

‘CAUSE IT HURTS LESS THAN TO BLAME YOU

Tasuku couldn’t move on. Not when he didn’t know where his boyfriend disappeared to, not when no one refused to tell him anything and lied their way out of the situation. It was as if everybody knew but Tasuku, as if he wasn’t that important to know to begin with. He couldn’t accept that Tsumugi was gone, that he was somewhere else out of his reach.

Recently, Tasuku started sleeping sooner just to dream of his face again. But it had been so long, that even small details he cherished were beginning to become blurry, faded even. It was better than nothing, pretending the love of his life was still here with him. Like he never left, like he had no reason to leave.

Why did he leave? Tasuku came home from practice and slammed the door that night, shaking the room as he entered. Without warning, glass shattered next to his feet as a picture frame fell. Tasuku picked it up with his bare hands, ignoring the sudden cut he got on his fingers as he gripped the frame tightly, staring at the picture with a sudden anger. Rage, undeniable, full–blown frustration that boiled ever since Tsumugi left. Something Tasuku had been avoiding to confront, something he didn’t want to do to avoid satisfying the demons.

But, Tasuku was so angry. Why did Tsumugi quit acting without telling him before the decision? Didn’t he trust him, why didn’t he trust him? Tasuku swore, kicking the pieces of glass to fly across the floor. What did he do wrong? Why wasn’t he worthy of Tsumugi’s love? Tasuku was shaking with rage, staring at Tsumugi’s photographed face and wondering if everything the angel convinced him of was a ploy, a fabricated web of lies that trapped him like a fool. Did Tsumugi even love him? Why did he lie about tomorrow morning? Why did he leave?

Why did he quit on them?

Tasuku shouted, releasing all the pent–up grief inside him as he threw the frame at the wall with a sickening thud, watching as it smashed even more. Why did he quit? Why, why, why? If only they talked the next morning, maybe Tasuku could’ve persuaded him to keep going, to stay with him, to not give up. Tasuku carefully went over to the photo, pulling out of the frame as he held it with both hands, sadly staring at Tsumugi. This was all he had left of him.

Tasuku tried to rip it in half, but his hands didn’t move. There was nothing he could have done, he couldn’t bring himself to break his heart even more. Tasuku let out a strangled sob, letting the picture flutter to the floor as he roughly pushed his own tears away, hating how tired he was from crying so much.

This was all he had left of Tsumugi, but maybe he didn’t want it anymore. Tasuku caught sight of the nightly snow. Maybe, he had to move on or else there would be nothing left for him.

Wherever Tsumugi was, it wasn’t with Tasuku, and that was the greatest betrayal of all.

I TRY TO EXHALE YOU IN PAIN, LIKE SMOKE, LIKE WHITE SMOKE

I SAY THAT I’LL ERASE YOU, BUT I CAN’T REALLY LET YOU GO YET

Tsumugi sat back row, farthest away from the stage years later. It was closing night for God Troupe, unforeseeably Tasuku’s last show for the troupe as Tsumugi watched with tears. Tasuku had grown so much, got even stronger and had the same stoic, serious persona as always. But his passion was even more electric, more intense, and more fiery all at once. It burned every time Tasuku immersed his entire soul in his character and it was like he wasn’t even himself anymore. Tsumugi almost didn’t recognize him, but his heart called out like it was still in love.

Tsumugi needed closure, just one last time he’d see his best friend. Although years had passed, Tsumugi still loved him and thought of Tasuku every time. He knew Tasuku didn’t feel the same, at least, not anymore. But, he promised himself that he would see Tasuku on stage again, Tsumugi couldn’t keep breaking his honor anymore, he had to keep this word. Tsumugi thought about his life, and how it was split between life before and after Tasuku, but no matter which stage he was at, Tasuku was always there.

Tasuku was always there, but not Tsumugi. Tsumugi left on his own accord, and to this day, he regretted it. As the show ended and Tasuku took a graceful bow towards the audience, Tsumugi gripped the bouquet of flowers in his hands as he shook, hiding behind the audience giving a standing ovation. There was no way in his right mind he could walk up and expect Tasuku to accept him back into his life, because that was unfair. To come back after all these years, not anymore, he had his wish fulfilled, now it was time to leave again.

Before Tsumugi could leave into the train station and disappear into the night, a flyer flew across the sky as it landed directly in front of Tsumugi’s feet. As he was about to board the train, Tsumugi picked it up and read the title, auditions for a threatre troupe named Mankai. He had seen their Autumn Troupe play, and it even made him want to step onto stage again. The doors were about to close, about to take Tsumugi away from Veludo Way and Tasuku forever. He didn’t know what possessed him to do so, but Tsumugi quickly departed and hurried out of the station. Auditions were tomorrow, something told him he had to be there.

Tsumugi stared at the white roses, feeling the thorns pierce his palm as he exhaled into the frigid air. It was about to be winter again, after all these years, he’d have his first snow under the same sky as Tasuku again.

Tsumugi couldn’t leave again, not now. Tsumugi wanted to be worthy of giving white roses to Tasuku.

YOU KNOW IT ALL, YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND

THE MORNING WILL COME AGAIN, NO DARKNESS, NO SEASON IS ETERNAL

Practice was tense with everything left unsaid between the two leads. Tasuku and Tsumugi saw each other after a street act, and the rest was unexplained history. The moment Tsumugi saw his ex–boyfriend, he winced when Tasuku glared at him with all the hatred in the world. He knew he deserved it, but it didn’t hurt any less.

Nothing could have indicated Tasuku still loved him: every time Tsumugi walked into a room, he’d leave muttering about the burden he had to carry, when Tsumugi was talking, he looked like he wasn’t listening, sometimes when Tsumugi acted, Tasuku wasn’t even connected to his character and would just refuse to cooperate. It was hurting the play, Tsumugi didn’t know what to do as the leader of Winter Troupe but also as a lovesick liar in love with his best friend.

Tasuku was rightfully angry. He had been angry ever since he broke that picture frame, it was the official end of their relationship. Tasuku never thought he’d see Tsumugi’s face again on Veludo Way, not after missing each and every single one of his God Troupe shows. Here he was, claiming his place in Tasuku’s broken heart like he had never left. But, he did. Tsumugi did leave and abandon him to the city, giving no answers and only raising more questions after all these years. How could he come back after all he did? Tasuku was angry, but he didn’t know if he was spiteful towards what happened between them or scared that Tsumugi might run away again.

Every time Tsumugi acted, it was like they were back in college all over again. Tsumugi never changed despite his multiple years of being on break, his acting style was subdued and simple, subtle but honest, it carried more feeling than Tasuku could ever describe. They were opposites, Tasuku was not everflowing like water, he wasn’t adaptable and constant like a river bend, but crackling with energy and passion like a flame. Maybe, that’s why Tsumugi left, so he wouldn’t extinguish both of them.

When Tsumugi looked into his eyes at the practice room, Tasuku’s breath hitched in his throat as he didn’t pay attention to the script, staring back with nothing but coldness. Frigid like the winter Tsumugi loved so much, maybe if he was just as freezing and indifferent, Tsumugi would still love him.

“You’re my best friend—” Tsumugi started but Tasuku turned on his heel and left without warning, slamming the door behind him as he ran. Ran to wherever was far away from his best friend. He wanted it to be true so bad, but not when he could be abandoned again without mercy.

Tasuku didn’t want to leave, but he had to or else he’d want to stay forever with Tsumugi. If Tsumugi left this time, he didn’t know how he’d move on this time.

MAYBE IT’S CHERRY BLOSSOMS AND THIS WINTER WILL BE OVER

I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU

WAIT A LITTLE BIT, JUST A FEW MORE NIGHTS

I’LL BE THERE TO SEE YOU, I’LL GO THERE TO MEET YOU

I’LL COME FOR YOU

Tsumugi was gone, again.

When Tasuku woke up from a nightmare of their last fight again to an empty dorm, his heart nearly stopped as he scrambled out of bed, flipping Tsumugi’s duvet over to find nothing but wrinked sheets. He couldn’t have left, how dare he? Leave when he had Winter Troupe under his name, after years of not seeing each other, how could he—Tasuku looked towards the window and stopped, staring outside as the moonlight illuminated the cold night sky in Veludo Way.

It was the first snow of winter.

Tasuku knew what he had to do, old habits die hard, after all. Tasuku didn’t bother putting a coat on, just rushing outside leaving the door open as he ran to the courtyard, snow crunching underneath his feet as he paused at the edge. Tsumugi was standing still in his pajamas, that blue sweatshirt he kept with “Snowdrop” on it covering his shaking hands as his head was tilted back, staring at the snow with wonder and amazement. It was the happiest Tsumugi looked, and Tasuku’s heart simmered down a little bit as he carefully approached closer, like he was afraid of scaring him away forever.

Tsumugi snapped out of his trance when Tasuku covered his shoulders with a blanket, whipping his face towards the taller male with a surprised look, not realizing how close they were. Tasuku couldn’t move his hands from Tsumugi’s shoulders, he couldn’t look away from Tsumugi’s teary eyes as Tsumugi let out a forced laugh, the air around him freezing as it disappeared like smoke.

“Go inside, you’ll get sick before the play.” Tasuku ordered, but made no effort to pull him in. Tsumugi blinked, nodding as he focused on Tasuku’s eyes, he had so many questions he only imagined asking. Tsumugi couldn’t read a thing about Tasuku, it was like he was a stranger he would never see again. But under this snow, under the same sky, they were together again, and it was more than whatever Tsumugi deserved.

“Dance with me.” Tsumugi breathed out, guiding Tasuku’s hands to his waist as he took his hand, not knowing why he needed this so bad. Tasuku was about to object before Tsumugi placed his head on his shoulder, holding in the tears as he begged, “Please, just one last time”. Tasuku stiffly nodded, gripping his hand like he didn’t want to ever let go. It was silent, but the two swayed like they were back in their apartment kitchen, a year into university with nothing to worry about except being on stage together.

“Why’d you go outside?” Tasuku asked, gently spinning Tsumugi like he was made of glass. When he spun back into his arms, Tsumugi sadly smiled, like this was the warmest he’d ever feel again.

“I needed to know if you’d come for me.” Tsumugi whispered, afraid of breaking the moment as he gazed up at the man he was in love with. He had his answer, Tasuku would still follow him even if it meant freezing from the snow at midnight. Tsumugi knew it was selfish, but...

He wanted to be selfish, just one more time. When Tsumugi stood on his toes to inch forward, nervously trembling from what he was risking right now, Tasuku didn’t react. He didn’t move, just took Tsumugi in like he wasn’t going to get this ever again. Like, this was the final goodbye they were supposed to promise each other that next morning.

It was long overdue. Tasuku saw how Tsumugi was about to run away again, lean back and leave. Not again, not if he couldn’t help it. Tasuku closed the distance, as if making up for all the time they lost as they kissed under the first snow, knowing there was so much to be said but not having the heart to bring back the past. It was too much, too much that Tsumugi couldn’t help but pull him back when Tasuku was about to move. He was so selfish, he just wanted Tasuku in this moment even if it meant never communicating with him again, he was in love with a man he had hurt over and over again.

“Promise me,” Tasuku mumbled before their lips met again, staring into Tsumugi’s eyes with no familiarity whatsoever. It was like they were two completely different people who had no connection to each other, two strangers that would’ve walked by each other without a second glance. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow morning.”

This time, Tsumugi nodded without crossing his fingers, his hands wrapped around Tasuku’s neck as he pulled him back down, knowing they had tomorrow to talk. To heal, to mend, to fix whatever was damaged. If Tasuku would let him back, if he let Tsumugi prove he was different now, better now, worthy of any relationship Tasuku wanted.

They were different people now, but it was the first snow of a winter they finally had together after a long, long time.

#tsukioka tsumugi #tsumugi tsukioka #takoto tasuku #tasuku takoto #tsumugi x tasuku #tasutsumu #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! one shots #act! addict! actors! one shots #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! tsumugi #a3 tsumugi #a3! tasuku #a3 tasuku

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illfoandillfie · 5 years

Text

Hangover Cure

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader

Summery: Ben is hungover from a night out with the boys and can’t fully remember what happened, luckily you’ve got some evidence.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of drinking, f receiving oral, squirting, face sitting,

Words: 4233

A/N: Small disclaimer: I don’t drink, I have never been drunk, all my knowledge of being drunk and hangovers and stuff comes from watching TV/movies (and maybe a little bit of googling). Anyway, that hangover photo Ben posted on insta destroyed me and I had to write something inspired by it! Ben gives off a vibe like he would fucking love going down on his girl, so have like 3k words of pussy worship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tagslist: @idontbelievethiss

When you woke up you were still pressed close to Ben, his bare leg flung over yours, almost nose to nose. You lay there for a while, blinking the sleep from your eyes, listening to his deep breaths, before the need to pee made you untangle yourself and leave the bed. Your mobile phone caught your eye as you got up, the screen lit up with a staggering number of voicemail messages. Ben had been out last night, catching up with the rest of ‘the band’ and, apparently, he had a problem with drinking and dialling. You’d already listened to a few of them before you fell asleep but he’d clearly continued phoning well into the early hours of the morning. The last was from a little after three o’clock which, by your estimation, wasn’t long before he’d arrived home. Clearly the boys had had a fun night, starting with dinner at around 6.30 PM and ending, for Ben at least, with waking you as he stumbled into your room and noisily removed his jeans and shoes, in that order. You’d turned on your lamp to see what was going on and his face broke into a grin when he saw you. “Y/N! What’re you doing here?” his speech was slurred and much too loud. “I live here Ben,” you said, sleepily rubbing your face, “with you.” You could almost see the gears in his head turning as he stared at you like he was trying to solve a riddle. “Just come to bed,” you yawned, tapping his side of the bed. He nodded and crawled under the blankets as you turned the lamp back off. His hands automatically reached for you, pulling you close as you lay back down and shut your eyes.

Ben slept in past midday. You checked on him a couple of times, but he remained fast asleep and snoring. It wasn’t until you were walking past your room in the afternoon that you heard him groan. You stood in the doorway for a moment, watching as Ben threw an arm over his eyes, face scrunched up against the light coming in through the window. “I take it you had a good night then,” You said as you padded across the room, pausing next to Ben and running your fingers through his messy hair. Ben let his arm fall back to his side and squinted up at you, “Maybe a little too good.” He groaned again, rubbing his temple. “Yeah, you smell like an ashtray that’s been washed out in whisky.” “I don’t even remember drinking whisky,” he groaned. “Stay here, I’ll be back with a hangover cure,” you chuckled, dropping a kiss to his forehead before you left. In the kitchen, you pulled out a tray and loaded it up with a glass of water, a couple of painkillers, two coffees and a stack of buttered toast. Entering your room, you found Ben sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. “You okay, honey?” you asked as you placed the tray on the nearest nightstand. “Thought I was gonna throw up. False alarm.” “Take these,” you handed him the water and painkillers. “Thanks babe,” He mumbled before swallowing the pills. “D’you want a coffee?” “Please,” he said switching the glass for his mug, “I hope Joe’s head hurts twice as much as mine.” “What’d Joe do?” You grabbed your own mug and the plate of toast, carefully settling yourself cross-legged facing Ben, “Eat.” Ben obediently took the top piece of toast, pulling his legs up onto the bed and leaning against the footboard, “He was the one that suggested shots. I think.” Ben chewed his toast slowly. “Did I wake you when I got home?” “You don’t remember?” “Sort of. I remember tripping over something outside. And I think I remember talking to you.” “Yes,” you laughed, “You woke me. You seemed confused about why I was here, happy to see me though. How much do you remember from last night?” “I remember having dinner and I remember heading to the pub after. Things start to get a bit hazy after a few rounds though. Why? What’d I do?” “Nothing bad, honey. I’ll tell you about it when you’re feeling better.” He nodded, “Think I’ll go have a shower.”

You finished your coffee while scrolling on your phone, the shower audible in the otherwise quiet room, and then carried everything back to the kitchen. You were just setting the dishwasher to run when Ben came up behind you, throwing his arms around your stomach and leaning his chin on your shoulder. “Better?” “More or less. Brushed my teeth about twelve times which helped.” You turned around to face him, “well you certainly don’t smell like a bar anymore. Any word on how the others are faring?” “Everyone’s alive though pretty rough. I don’t know what we drank, but it was a mistake.” “I might have the answer,” “What d’you mean?” “So, while you were out, I got a number of very interesting phone calls.” Ben gave you a confused look. “You drunk dialled me a few times. Seventeen times if we’re being accurate.” “Oh my god.” His hand flew up to his head, the heel of his palm rubbing his eye, “What did I say? No, actually I don’t wanna know. Okay, tell me.” You leaned up to peck his lips before grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the kitchen and over to the couch where you’d left your phone. “I haven’t listened to them all, just the first few.” He sat down, watching warily as you clicked through to your voicemail. “So the first call you made, I picked up.” You said as you settled into your seat, throwing your legs over Ben’s lap. “What time was that?” “Round ten-ish. I think you were in a pub. Wherever you were was loud cause I couldn’t hear you properly. But basically you called so everyone could yell hello to me. I told you all to have a good night and got a chorus on unintelligible screams back and then you hung up.” “Thats not too bad. Kinda cute if you think about it,” He pinched your shin playfully. “You called again about five minutes later but I let it go to voicemail.” “Oh boy.” “You’re a sloppy drunk Benjamin.”

You held the phone up between you and hit play on the first message. Ben’s voice sounded echoey as he slurred slightly into the phone which made you think he was calling from the bathroom. “Voicemail? Babe listen, I didn’t mean to hang up without saying I love you. Thats why ‘m calling. Felt bad. I don’t want you to think I don’t love you cos of course I love you. God I love you so much. Shit, I gotta go, Joe’s saying something about shots.” The message ended. “Okay you have to agree that was cute,” Ben said next to you. “The drunk idiot is very cute.” You conceded. “Hey, he may be a drunk idiot, but he’s a truthful drunk idiot.” Ben tapped the end of your nose making you giggle. “Well, the drunk idiot isn’t done yet.” You started the second message. “Fuck it’s cold.” You heard a deep inhale and then a breath out, the sound of Ben smoking, “I need whisky.” The call ended and both of you laughed. “Well okay, guess maybe I did drink whisky after all.” The third message was loud again. The Ben sitting next to you cringed as the opening notes of a song kicked in and his own voice yelled through the phone, “This one’s for you Y/N!” followed by the sound of him drunkenly singing My Heart Will Go On. “Oh god,” He dropped his head into his hands, “how long does the message go for?” “Four minutes and forty-five seconds. The whole song.” “Let's skip this one,” “Okay, but only because I’ve already listened to it.” “You listened to me butcher the entire song?” “It was dedicated to me, how could I not?” you laughed, “Also, it’s my new ringtone.” “Curse that movie.” Ben groaned as he let his head drop onto the back of the couch, “You catch the end of it on TV one time and then the song’s stuck in your head for a week.” “If it's any consolation, it sounded like you got a standing ovation at the end.”

The next couple of messages were from the same karaoke bar. You could barely hear Ben over the horrendous singing in the background of the first one, but he seemed to be talking to someone about the saké they were drinking. You wondered if it hadn’t been a pocket dial because of how quiet his voice was. Ben looked at you shaking his head, “No wonder we all feel like rubbish today. How did we all make it home in one piece?” “Lord knows. Divine intervention?” You laughed, “This next one is the last one I heard before I went to sleep.” “Good or bad?” “I liked it.” The message started with the sound of Ben stumbling out a door, muffling the noise of the bar. “Can’t stop thinking bout your pretty pussy.” You looked over to Ben, grinning at his slightly pink cheeks. He looked like he was about to say something but you quickly placed a finger over your lips, signalling him to keep quiet. “Wanna lick it right now. Could go for hours, sucking and licking and kissing. Fuck I love your pussy. Taste so fucking good. Wanna make you cum on my tongue. And then on my fingers so you can suck 'em clean and see how good you taste. Go so slow yo-” “Ben!” someone yelled from behind him somewhere, “C’mon we’re gonna go get kebabs!” The message ended. You’d known what was coming and you’d still found yourself clenching your thighs, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Ben. His hand was on your knee, rubbing his thumb in circles absentmindedly. “That...wasn’t what I was expecting,” he said slowly, “bit different to all the others,” “Wasn’t what I was expecting the first time I heard it either. Don’t think anyone’s ever expected to hear a monologue about eating pussy though. They just catch you by surprise.” “How many times did you listen to it?” “Ummm, a few,” “So until you got off?” “You know me too well,” you laughed, “kinda wish you hadn't been interrupted. Would have liked to hear what else you were thinking.” “You would, would you?” His grip on your knee got tighter, “Think I’ve got the gist of it.” You squealed as he suddenly rolled out from under your legs and pushed them open.

“Thought you had a hangover,” “It’s not so bad now, modern medicine truly is a miracle. Besides, this may be a hereto unknown cure.” His speech was punctuated with kisses to your ankle. “Are you saying my pussy is like the fountain of youth but for fixing hangovers?” “Maybe. I don’t know. Now please stop talking, I need to concentrate.” He travelled higher, fingers tracing softly wherever his lips weren’t. He continued his path up your leg gradually, dragging his lips along your skin. Whenever he reached a particularly ticklish or sensitive spot he’d linger, holding your leg tight so you couldn’t squirm away. When he eventually reached your knee, he moved to your other ankle and started again. You whined, leaning your head back against the arm of the couch, which made him chuckle, sending a shiver through you. “Patience, babe.” He bit down unexpectedly, making you jump, “Told you I was gonna go slow.” Slow was an understatement. A snail would have crawled up your leg faster than Ben was going, though you had to admit it probably wouldn’t have put you in quite the same state. The longer Ben took the more desperate you were but nothing you did could persuade him to skip ahead. You tried whining and groaning, hoping the noise would encourage him to finally remove your pants, but all it did was make him smirk, his breath ghosting over the spot his lips had just detached from. “Keep making those sounds. Love when you’re all desperate and needy.” You couldn’t stop the whine that rose into the air, his words hitting your right between the legs.

You also tried tangling your fingers in his hair and tugging the way you knew he liked but, though it did make him pause, it also made him more determined to make you wait. At one point you even tried to slip your hand into your pants to relieve some of the pressure. You didn’t get very far before Ben had a hold of your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm before he sucked your fingers into his mouth. He let your fingers slip free, turning his attention back to your shin, but kept a strong grasp on your hand to stop you from trying anything else. “You jerk,” you tried to twist your hand free but he kept a firm hold, “didn’t think you’d mean this slow.” He laughed, sitting up slightly as he finally reached your other knee, “What a shame my drunken ode to your cunt was cut off before I could really go into detail.” “Ben, you’re killing me, please just speed it up.” “Sorry babe, not gonna happen. “ He continued his lazy path over your knee and up your thigh until he reached the leg of your shorts, teasing you with feather light touches just under the hem. Then he switched back to the leg he’d started on and repeated his efforts. By the time he was kneeling between your legs, working your pants over your hips and pulling them off, you were on the verge of begging. You lifted your hips to help him remove your underwear but he ignored you. Instead you felt a breath on the inside of your thigh before his mouth was on you again. He resumed his slow pace, pausing every so often to suck a hickey onto your skin, before he switched to the other leg again. By the time he was done your thighs were covered in bruises and bite marks, and there was a very noticeable wet spot on the front of your undies.

Ben leaned into you, his mouth centimetres from where you desperately needed him. You could feel bursts of his warm breath wash over you, only serving to heighten your need and the anticipation for what he had planned. “So very wet already. Wonder who could possibly have cause that?” You could only whimper as he stuck his tongue out and licked a single long stroke along your clothed pussy, your hips bucking at first contact. “Love how eager you are, but you gotta keep still,” he said as he wrapped his arms round your thighs to hold them in place. He refocused on kissing you through your underwear, working his way up slowly, squeezing your labia between his lips. Your breathing got heavier the closer he got to your clit, soft ‘oh’s dripping from your tongue. He was unphased by your obvious urgent need, working to cover every inch of you with his lips and teeth and tongue, leaving you panting for more as he carefully avoided your clit. When he gently sucked at the apex of your thigh you cried out in desperation. Ben hummed against you and settled back into his leisurely pace, never reaching your clit. “Ben, for the love of god, stop teasing,” Ben laughed as he raised himself to his knees and hooked his fingers into the top of your underpants, pausing to drop a kiss to your lips. He peeled your underwear down your legs, dropping them to the floor, and swiped a finger along your folds, collecting your wetness. He held his finger up and you watched as your juices slowly started to drip from it in a single long strand. “That voicemail,” Ben started, pausing to lick up the drip from his finger, “was cut off too soon. Didn’t even get to talk about how fucking wet you are for me. Though I think I can make you wetter.” He settled himself back down, laying his tongue flat against you and licking another long line all the way up your slit. You moaned as his tongue flicked over your clit but seconds later, he’d moved away again, letting a string of saliva drip slowly onto you before he began working his mouth softly over your pussy once more.

You could feel your orgasm approaching as Ben buried his face between your legs, and you tangled your fingers in his hair again. You whined his name repeatedly, getting higher in pitch as he neared your clit. Finally he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking it into his mouth and you let out a pornographic moan as you came undone. He swirled his tongue around your clit until the sensitivity became too much and you pushed him away. “Good girl,” He said softly, leaving kisses over your thighs as he waited for your breathing to even out again, “So pretty when you cum for me.” He began licking and sucking at your folds again, noisily cleaning up the evidence of your orgasm, “And drunk me was right, you taste fucking incredible.” He worked his tongue slowly into you, making you shudder as you felt another orgasm building already. He pulled out, licking all the way up to your clit before once again pushing his tongue into you, deeper than before. You lost the ability to form coherent thoughts as he fucked you with his tongue, bringing his thumb up to rub your clit slowly. Your knees snapped shut the minute he stopped holding them down, trapping him in position, though he didn’t seem to notice, just kept his steady pace, pulling you closer and closer to the edge. A moan built in your throat and you couldn’t help pushing on the back of his head, trying to keep him as close to your core as possible. You pulled on his hair making him moan against you and the vibrations triggered your release which he lapped up like a man dying of thirst. Your legs trembled as you lowered them back to the bed, not helped by Ben moving to blow a stream of cold air over your sensitive clit.

You tried to sit up but Ben placed a hand over your stomach to keep you in place. “I’m not done yet, enjoying this too much to be done so soon.” He flicked your clit with his tongue and you whimpered. “Too sensitive?” “Yeah,” You breathed out, raising you head to watch him. “That’s alright,” he kissed your clit once, making your hips jerk, “said I wanted you to cum on my fingers anyway.” Without any more warning he pushed two fingers into you making you moan, “That’s right babe, wanna hear you nice and loud,” he added a third finger, and began pumping them in and out teasingly slow, “Know you love having my fingers in your cunt. Can feel how tight your clenching them. ‘m gonna watch you cum hard and then I’m gonna go back to worshipping your cunt properly.” He adjusted the angle of his fingers slightly, and you felt the pit in your stomach tighten. “Think I can make you squirt like this, want me to try?” “Please, yes, ‘m so clos-s-se,” you were interrupted as he once again lowered his mouth to your cunt, his fingers steadily stroking the same spot over and over, making your see spots. “C’mon babe,” he mumbled against you, “wanna see you make a fucking mess.” Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers became more forceful and you gripped the edge of the couch so hard your knuckles turned white as you came again. “Good girl, that was exactly what I wanted to see,” He said, sitting up on his knees, rubbing your thigh with the hand that hadn’t just been pulled from you. “I did it?” you panted, finally relaxing your hand, letting it dangle over the edge of the couch. “mmhmm, gonna have to get some stain remover onto this couch later.” You raised your head and sure enough you could see the dark patch you’d made. You couldn’t help but laugh, giddy from the pleasure. Ben wiped his mouth on his sleeve before he leaned forward to kiss you softly. “I love you so much,” “Love you too Ben. Maybe more now that I know you can make me do that.” He kissed you again and then resettled between your thighs. “Thought you said something about letting me taste?” “Later,” he grunted before he focused all his attention on dragging his tongue through your slick folds again.

“You’re dripping,” Ben admired, taking another swipe along your cunt, “So fucking wet.” Not that you needed him to tell you that. You could feel your wetness running down towards your arse, see it shining on Ben’s mouth and chin every time he looked up at you. Aside from Ben’s running commentary the only sounds in the room came from him burying himself in your pussy. The wet noises of his spit meeting your juices as he licked and sucked at you, and the whines and whimpers and moans he drew from you with every flick of his tongue. You were so wet his tongue just glided over you, hitting your still sensitive clit on every pass. It felt so good, but also wasn’t enough to push you to another orgasm. You tried to shift your hips against his mouth as his movements became less controlled. He devoured you, trying to reach every inch of your cunt, not caring about keeping a steady pace or tempo. You swore as his nose bumped your clit again, followed a moment later by his tongue flicking over it once, twice, three times. “Ben, I can’t do it again.” you whined, fighting back the urge to cry, “I wanna cum but I can’t.” Ben just hummed against you, ignoring your pleas as he continued his frenzied movements. You could feel tears of desperation stinging your eyes. You were so close, just not getting the right sort of friction to push you over the edge. You tried to wiggle your hips but Ben wrapped his arms round your thighs again, holding you in place as he closed his eyes, and delved deeper. You could have sworn you were going to cum as Ben explored every inch of your pussy, but you were left unsatisfied again, letting out another frustrated whine. Ben resurfaced, shaking his head from side to side as he trailed his tongue over you. “Don’t worry, babe, got an idea.” He pulled back and moved to grab your waist, using his grip to flip you over suddenly. He wiggled between your open legs and grabbed your thighs again. You leaned against the arm of the chair, resting on your knees as Ben pulled you down onto his lips, picking up where he’d left off. You clawed at the couch as he held you tightly, anchoring you to his mouth. The new position allowed you to arch your back and rock your hips more freely and you shifted around a little trying to find the right spot. You cried out as his tongue met you just the way you’d needed it, and began to grind down onto him chasing your release. “God Ben, so so close,” you gasped out. Ben’s reply was nothing more than a muffled hum directly into your core that had you slumping over the arm of the chair as you shook above him, crying out his name. He continued to lick along your slit, stretching the orgasm out as long as he could. When you couldn’t take it anymore you raised your hips, his hands loosening their grip as you rolled off of him into the corner of the couch. Once Ben had sat up, you gingerly stretched out a leg.

“So how was that?” Ben asked as he shuffled round to face you. All you could do was nod as you released a shaky breath. Ben scooted towards you and leaned his forehead against yours, “I take it that means it was good?” “Yeah,” you breathed out softly, “really good. I’ll tell you just how good when I can think clearly again.” Ben laughed and dropped a kiss to the tip of your nose before pulling back, “take all the time you need. There is just one more thing though,” You gasped as he gently dragged a single finger through your folds, collecting as much of your wetness as he could. “Said I was gonna make you taste yourself.” Without thinking you grabbed his wrist and slowly sucked his finger into your mouth. You kept your eyes locked on his, watching as they grew wide at your bold action. “See how fucking delicious you are?” You hummed around his finger, running your tongue along its length. When you felt you’d sufficiently cleaned his digit you pulled it from your lips with a small pop. “Think I could get used to receiving drunk messages from you if this is how you make up for it,” “Think I wanna know what the rest of those messages say.”

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jebentnietalleen · 5 years

Text

By now most people have read and seen a lot about the convention already, but since I said I would write about it (and because I like to be able to look back on my own experiences later), I'll ramble on for a bit...

First and foremost, it was a pleasure to meet and see other Tumblr users and fans of skam in general, I loved being in a room with so many like minded people 💖🙏🥰 . I've never been to a convention before so it was truly special. I wanna give a special mention to

@chelouelou

, meeting her was one of my personal highlights and I am so glad we hit it off just as well as we did online. She is the sweetest person and a ray of sunshine, and we had multiple laughing fits for no good reason. All lovely things imo 🧡😍🙌✨

Some random facts:

I almost drew a braincell at La Petite Ceinture so I could write 'the skam france galaxy braincell' but I chickened out last moment because it felt like sacrilege

Every time we saw one of those step scooters we felt triggered

Every time we saw someone carrying a baguette we laughed

Elise brought everybody clown noses

La Petite Ceinture is absolutely calming and just a great experience to visit

About the convention:

We arrived around 9:00, and because we already got our passes the night before (the organization for that was also shitty, we arrived at 17:30, which was suppose to be the time that they would open up for the passes, and left at 21:00. They were not prepared, everything arrived in boxes through out the night, we had to wait a long long time) we didn't have to wait in line and sat on the floor for a bit while we waited for everything to start. We sat next to a large glass window, and suddenly we heard some fans shrieking in excitement. We looked up and saw Maxence walk past us, and let me tell you, that alone was quite an experience. Mannequin elite, indeed. There is just something so alluring about him, it's even more apparent in real life. We were all very nervous and also excited about the whole day, and this hyped us up even more ngl. We saw more cast members come in, Coline, Paul, Robin, Leo, and probably more that I can't remember. We got called into the big room where the panels were held, at around 10:00.

After a short speech by the host, and a video introduction of all the casts (which was lovely and I might post later, I don't know if anybody posted it yet? I haven't seen it) the cast of skam france came on stage. The crowd went wild, naturally. They got a standing ovation. The energy was buzzing. Axel was joking around from the first second, he was talking with Maxence and with the boys and with Zoe, making jokes the whole time, even gave the host what looked like a slap on the ass hahah. He looked very hyped up. The whole cast looked very happy to be there.

The duo photoshoot was suppose to start 10:15 but started around 10:45 instead. So the day already started with a delay, and because a lot of events had some overlap (for example they couldn't start the group photo shoot if a few cast members were still busy with their duo's) it had a sort of domino effect throughout the whole day. There was a lot of waiting and a lot of standing around. When I was in line for the duo photoshoot, Axel and Maxence were both hugging fans they met before (even though it wasn’t allowed, which I still don’t understand tbh) and one girl wanted to do the Polaris hand holding bit with Axel and he went with it and looked at her so softly it was a lot okay, I hope that girl is still alive. I saw Maxence do the same thing with another girl during the same shoot, so they stood back to back with the girls in question (the picture later became famous because of the manip smh) And just before it was my turn, Maxence draped himself over Axel and they hugged with Maxence standing behind Axel and Axel reached up to touch Maxence's arm. This wasn't for a photo they weren't even facing a camera, this was just them being their caring selves. They were really sweet together the whole day, as everyone has seen by now.

We had to wait a long time for the panel to start, and they started way later than planned. Maxence was still busy with his duo with Rocco and Assa and Lais also came in later. Everything was in French and the host translated. I considered going up to ask a question (tell us more about the 90% social media content that Axel wanted to do that went too far lmao) but the queue filled up so quickly and I knew there was a limited time for the cast, so I didn't. In the end it's probably for the best seeing as they went on for a half hour longer because Axel is the literal best and I will not hear anyone say anything different. I thought the host did a good job, but I still think a lot of details got lost in translation because he obviously couldn't translate every single thing word for word. I cackled because when he talked in English he pronounced Axel and Maxence's names very Englishy. I thought it was cute that Axel kept shouting for Maxence to come join them when they started, and that when Maxence came in he sat in front of him. I sat pretty close to the stage at that point and saw that Axel explained to Maxence that he yelled his name hahah. That whole panel was golden, loved hearing about their fave lines and upcoming projects, plus they were all so sweet to each other, ugh, name me a better cast istg. Some of the other highlights for me were how adorable Axel and Leo were together and how Moussa and Lais are integrated into the whole cast and got along with everyone. Seeing Lais and Maxence interact got me thinking about seeing Sofiane and Eliott together on screen and now I want it even more tbh. Of course everyone knows that Axel ignored the rules and insisted on talking to everyone who had a question, went off stage and talked to the people who were left, tried to include everyone, in general he had a really big role yesterday. I got an ask saying he is a true born entertainer and that's true, he really is (I will answer that ask later I promise, I am just way behind tbh sorryyy).

After the panel was the group photo with the skam france cast. The chaotic energy was off the chart. Especially Axel and Maxence, I saw Maxence bite some girls tag that was around her neck for the picture lmao. They kept cheering the people on who came for their picture, it was adorable. When it was my turn I stood between Axel and Maxence and ugh, just, it was great okay. I said thank you when I got my picture, and Maxence went: nooo, thank yOuUuU (you know the voice he sometimes uses? Yeah) what a sweetheart tbh.

After this there was a looooot of waiting for me. The only thing I had left was the autographs and selfies (this was one event) and that could not start before all the group photos were done, and they went on for way too long. That just means the organization sold too many or didn't calculate the right amount of time it would take. I managed to catch some of the skam og panel and italia, but not all of it, and tbh it's all a blurr because I was busy with processing everything haha.

Finally it was time for the autographs, and the line was looong. I had the pleasure of seeing Axel carry Lais to the tables up close and personal, what a legend. The times I fondly shook my head with a grin on my face yesterday because of that chaotic king are countless. Just before I was almost at the end of the line, they cut us off because they needed to start the closing ceremony (for lack of a better description). Luckily they wrote numbers on our hands so we didn't have to wait all the way back in line again, because after the ceremony they would get back to it. This wasn't in the schedule, it was suppose to be over, hence closing ceremony, so the skam france cast stayed behind way longer than planned. The closing ceremony was very emotional, most of the cast got tears in their eyes as people shared their stories. Not everything was translated but you could still tell it meant a lot to them. Not to mention the amount of money they managed to raise with the convention. Truly amazing. Of course we all saw the cast go absolutely nuts to one direction lmao, that was a treat to see after such a long day. Idk how they kept up their energy, especially Axel who seems to be inhuman tbh. He never seemed very tired, you could see it a bit in his face but he powered on and I love him for that. The rest of the cast was definitely more visibly tired, some more than others of course. Finally we got back to the autographs, and still it was a long wait. I think we were there for nearly 2 hours and I only got to Marilyn, Lais, Axel and Maxence. By then it was 21:00 and I could barely stand. I only ate two mini croissants for breakfast and had a few handful of nuts during the day. I wasn't hungry but that still probably wasn't very smart of me. I kind of regret not staying to get the other autographs as well, but I was truly spend. Lais is as much a ray of sunshine as he is on TV, he is super nice and thankful, as is Marilyn. They were kind to everyone. That's something that I can say about the whole cast: everywhere I looked, I saw happy cast members who were touched by every single person who come up to them. Amazing really.

I'm not gonna lie, I was looking forward to getting to Axel the most. Anybody who follows me will not be surprised by this. So let me tell you a little bit about it. Axel gives the best hugs, is kind, is soft, calls you by your name, explains to you that he will read your letter later and carefully because he reads every one of them (I assured him that I am aware of that and very thankful) and that he wants to take his time with it to be able respond to it (which is not something I expect or even want, I just wanted to thank him and tell him how great he is, no response necessary). When I said it's been a long day he said no no no no, it's been a cool day, and I think he really means it. He was so full of energy after that long a day. He is so happy whenever he sees someone he remembers. And when I asked for a hug he said pffff of course!!! Did I mention he winked at me? Yeah. I really thought I could not love him more than I did but I do. I'm so grateful to have been able to meet him and talk to him and ugh ugh just, I can die happy now.

Maxence was really tired and stressed by the time I got to him and he took a smoke break just before. They warned us to keep it short because it was taking too long, so I did. I gave him the letter I wrote and he thanked me and we took some selfies. He was very nice but you could tell it was a lot for him, and that's very understandable.

After that we went back to the hotel and I literally could not even form proper sentences anymore. We didn't get any dinner, we just talked for a bit to let it all sink in and then we went to bed.

Tbh, it's still a bit like a dream when I think back on it. It's a good thing I have pictures because otherwise I wouldn't believe it myself. I love this cast and this show and the crew too of course, I am so happy I went and the next time I get the slightest change to see them again I will take it without a doubt. They are all amazing. 10/10 would recommend.

PS: if anybody has any questions don’t hesitate to ask, although I might not know the answer or remember haha.

#tara at eli3 #eli3 recap

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eclecticminded · 6 years

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@wow-life-love4 requested: can you do a Can you do a Barba x reader where the reader and him used to be a couple back a couple years ago and then they break up but the reader appears in his life like idk 5 years later and he finds out the reader is like a famous singer and the reader has twins ( boy or girl witch ever you choose) that are roughly 5 and Barbra goes to one of the readers concert and meets up with the reader after forever and like the reader opens up that yes she was pregnant with them and she didn’t want to tell him bc like they broken up

My dude yes! This was very specific but hey, I did managed it. I hope you like it! I obvi wrote a happy ending cause I need those in my life. Let me know what you think!

You reunite with Rafael after 5 years and reveal you had his twins.

Warnings: none

It had been five years since you were in New York. Five years since you walked out Rafael Barba's door and moved to California. Five years since you let anyone in. Five years and you were back for a concert engagement with no definitive end. You thought about telling him, but had no way to contact him.

Opening night went off without a hitch, you hit the high notes you were scared of and got a standing ovation. After you exited the stage, you found your jacket and made your way to the back door to meet fans. You signed autographs and took photos until there was no one left.

“Can an old friend get one too,” Rafael's voice made your heart drop into your stomach.

“Of course,” you signed his playbill and then turned to someone else that had come over.

“You were amazing tonight! How have you been,” Rafael was smiling, god you loved that smiled.

“I've been good, want to come in and talk,” you motioned to the door.

“I'd love that,” Rafael followed you through the door and to your dressing room. You cleaned a spot on the sofa for him and sat at your vanity.

“What have you been up to,” you started removing your makeup.

“I got that job with SVU, been there for awhile now,” Rafael picked at lint on his pants, “you?”

“Got my big break as you can tell,” you grabbed another wipe to scrub your face.

“You deserve it, your voice is amazing,” Rafael's voice was sincere, you forgot how much you missed him.

“Thank you, I hear you're really making a difference. Helping people get justice, I'm proud of you,” you turned to look at him and he was blushing.

“Thanks,” he looked away.

“Mommy,” the door swung open and two small children ran in.

“Mommy,” the little boy climbed into your lap, “I missed you!”

“You're voice is so pretty mommy,” the little girl tried to climb up too.

“Thank you babies,” you kissed there foreheads, “this is my good friend Rafael, can you say hi?”

“Hi Rafael,” the little girl ran over to Rafael and hugged his leg.

“That's my middle name,” the little boy climbed down and ran to hug Rafael too.

“Okay okay you two,” you nudged them towards the nanny that emerged, “time to go home. I'll be home to tuck you in soon. I love you.”

“Love you too mommy,” they sang in unison and followed the nanny.

“His middle name is Rafael,” Rafael asked once the door shut behind them.

“Yes,” you disappeared behind a screen to change.

“How old are they,” you heard Rafael mumble.

“Four and a half,” you came out hanging your head and sat next to him.

“Are they mine,” his voice was barely a whisper.

“Yes,” your voice was just as quiet.

“Are you sure,” he leaned his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“There's been no one else,” you crossed your arms, offended.

“Me either,” he shook his hand.

“Why didn't you tell me,” he sighed and you heard the sadness in his voice.

“I tried, I didn't find out until I was in Cali. I tried to call. You're number was different,” tears started forming in your eyes.

“I got a new one after I started at SVU,” he reached for you but dropped his hand.

“I've done a pretty good job raising them. They're good kids. He looks just like you, and she has your sarcasm,” you chuckled and wiped the tears away.

“I'm sorry I wasn't there,” Rafael took your hand and held it between you.

“Not your fault,” you shrugged and then sat in silence.

“I want to be in their lives,” Rafael squeezed your hand.

“You didn't want kids,” you pulled your hand away.

“I did with you,” his voice hitched and a tear ran down his cheek.

“You did,” you grabbed his hand in yours.

“You can be in their lives...we live here now,” you smiled and wiped his tear away.

“Why'd we break up again,” he exhaled sharply.

“Cause I moved.”

“You're back now,” he pressed a kiss to your palm.

“I am,” you returned the kiss to the tip of his fingers.

“Wanna give it another try,” his eyes sparkled.

“We can try,” you gripped his chin and brought it to your lips.

“Dinner Monday night,” he smiled against you.

“Why Monday,” you pouted.

“You have shows then next few nights,” he chuckled and kissed you again.

“I'm free right now,” you whined.

“What about tucking the kids in,” he pulled back and lifted an eyebrow.

“I can tuck them in and make you pancakes,” you teased.

“Oh I love your pancakes,” Rafael jumped up and tugged you to your feet.

“I know. I can make fun shapes now too, the kiddos love them,” you slipped your shoes on and grabbed your purse.

“Fun shapes,” Rafael fake gasped, “not fun shapes!”

“Yes,” you playfully shoved his shoulder.

“Then lets go,” Rafael opened the door and guided you out.

“I'm parked out back,” you led him to your car and drove home. On the way there you held hands and sang along to the radio.

“You sure about this,” Rafael stopped short of the door.

“Yes. They're your kids. And I never stopped loving you,” you put the key in the door and Rafael spun you around into his arms.

“I love you too,” he crashed his lips into yours and you fell against the door.

“I don't think we're having pancakes are we,” you moaned when he nipped your neck.

“In the morning maybe, tonight I just want you,” Rafael growled against your collarbone. As quietly as you could, you two made it inside and tucked the already sleeping children in. You led him to your room and everything fell back into place. Almost like you'd never left. Almost like it was meant to be.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba and reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #law and order svu imagine #law and order special victims unit #law and order special victims unit fanfic #law and order special victims unit imagine #raul esparza #raúl esparza #mine #my writing #svu fanfiction #svu fanfic

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thatsamoireh · 6 years

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Moncton show and meet & greet recap! I put together my thoughts about the show, my meet & greet experience, photos of the things I made them, and their reactions. It got wordy.

Here’s a preview in the form of some bald skater babies pre-hair styling.

Thoughts about the Moncton show:

We were in the third row but I was behind/between two incredibly tall women. I could see if I moved my head a lot and I still ultimately had a fantastic view but it made photos and videos pretty impossible. A couple sort of came out so I’ll post those later.

I knew I couldn’t keep myself entirely unspoiled but I wanted to enjoy the show in the moment as much as possible. I’d let myself watch videos of VM’s solo things as much as I wanted, the group numbers fully exactly once each, and no one else’s solos at all though I knew what the songs were.

Tessa and Scott skating live in person was still a thing I wasn’t prepared for because can you ever be? They are so in tune with each other. They have to be able to do programs like MR in their sleep at this point but there were little moments and touches and looks that made it seem like a brand new unique experience at both shows I went to. MR was so intense, 4 Minutes was so playful, and Diamonds was so... elegant? Graceful? Regal? Tessa is a queen. Scott knows it, we all know it, and that dance showcases her so breathtakingly. The gasps when she skated out in her diamond bodysuit. I’ll never forget that.

I can’t get over how much FUN Scott was having, particularly during group performances and the moments that he could interact with the audience. That boy is having the time of his life and he deserves it.

I was particularly blown away by two non-VM things that took me by surprise: First, Patrick is unreal on the ice in person. Wow. WOW. Videos don’t do him justice. W O W. Second, I loved Weapo’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody so much. It’s my favorite thing they’ve ever done. More of this from them, please.

One of the best parts was my friend’s reactions during the show since she had no idea at all what was going to happen and was mostly there to humor me. After Moulin Rouge: “...Um. Okay, yeah. I ship it.” After Phantom: “Has Patrick Chan ever fallen once in his life? It feels like he was born ice skating.” After I Weapo’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody: “Okay, so now I’m crying.” After Sweet Dreams: “That was cool. Scott definitely had the best sunglasses.” She was so concerned for Meagan’s safety whenever Eric spun her around that she kept making these little alarmed noises.

After the dance off as Elvis was talking to the crowd, Scott skated up behind him in the way that I could just tell was going to be a last show prank situation. For a hot second I thought he might pants him which would have been a terrible idea but he either poked his sides or pulled UP on the back Elvis’ pants instead. Elvis startled and turned and shot him a look that meant Scott might pay for that later. I am SO sad that Scott’s back was to me because I would have loved to have seen his face during all that.

The cheering was pretty equal so Meagan said Elvis should break the tie since it was his last show which got Elvis a big cheer too. He couldn’t/wouldn’t declare a winner so Meagan went into Dancing Queen.

Elvis got standing ovations after his skates and he was clearly getting emotional and taking it all in as his last show on the tour. I’m not sure if the crowd even really knew it was his last show after his Dragon skate yet (Meagan said it during the dance off and the crowd reaction kind of implied they maybe didn’t know), which means they all just really appreciated him that much. MR, Patrick’s Phantom, and Eric/Patrick’s Storm all also got standing o’s to my recollection. Plus the finale of course.

During the encore after a moment when they were all grouped together at center ice, Elvis started skating out like they’re supposed to but everyone else stayed put and did some ta-da arms to give him a special little last show send off. He put his hand on his heart and knelt down and it was all so sweet.

There are more things that I’m forgetting right now probably. Oops?

My Moncton meet & greet experience:

Okay. So. I make and sell amigurumi crochet dolls. Here are my Hamilton and Hocus Pocus dolls, to give you an idea of the kinds of things I make.

I decided before the tour that I’d make the nine of them to give the cast at my meet & greet in Moncton. (Thanks to @peacefulboo for the cheerleading along the way!) Here they are done but still hairless, which in my opinion is peak cuteness honestly. Please, please don’t repost any of my doll or m&g photos anywhere, thanks!

And fully done. Photos never do my dolls’ hair justice, I swear. They’re better in real life I promise. (I’ll put more close ups at the end of the post in case anyone is interested.)

I’d decided to do everyone’s Pyeongchang free skate/free dance costumes but wasn’t sure which to make for Elvis until I saw he was doing Dragon for the tour. So I did his Olympic Dragon costume, complete with his 1994 hairstyle. He was so nice and as he was putting the doll down on the table he noticed the hair and pointed it out, laughing. When he got home, he regrammed his wife’s Instagram post featuring my doll (!!!) and their dog’s reaction made my LIFE. (Screencaps near the end of this post.)

Kaitlyn and Andrew got so excited about the dolls. I told Kaitlyn that her dress ended up being the hardest by far to recreate in doll form and she slapped her hands on the table, leaned in toward me, and said, so earnestly, “IT WAS SO HARD TO MAKE IN REAL LIFE TOO!” Meanwhile Andrew was smiling hugely and moving his doll’s legs to make him dance. I love them both so much.

Meagan wondered at me about how I make things like this (which like, it’s all relative I guess because I wonder at how she can do the things she does on the ice) and Eric got a little grin and told me that he loved that I did his sheer sleeves. (I think Eric’s doll might have secretly been my favorite, or at least tied with Tessa. The stubble really made it.)

Just as we were about to get in Patrick and Kaetlyn’s line Tessa went hurrying past us out of the room with someone in a tour jacket. She was smiling, so my guess is that nature called and she couldn’t wait anymore to answer. (No idea if that’s true, just a guess.) I looked over at Scott and he didn’t look concerned, was just wandering around, joking with Patrick, drinking a smoothie.

As the cast members near the start of the lineup finished up with fans they were leaving. The m&g music was excellent (my friend got confirmation from Scott that it was Andrew’s playlist that night) and Kaitlyn was dancing as she headed for the door just as Tessa was coming back in a few minutes later. They had a little dance party (the song was Hey Ya I’m 98% sure) as they danced toward each other, danced together for few seconds laughing, and then Tessa danced all the way back to her signing table. Scott loudly announced, “MS. VIRTUE HAS RETURNED!”

Before he sat down again, Scott crept silently up behind Patrick and poked him in both of his sides, making him jump mid-sentence while talking to the fan at his table. Scott grinned, so proud of himself, and it was pretty amazing.

I stayed with my friend L in Fredericton during this trip. We’ve known each other for 18 years and she’s in the States a lot so I’ve seen her in real life several times over the years but this is the first time I’ve been able to go visit her. Due to a last minute emergency my other friend that was going to drive up from NY for the shows with me couldn’t come, so L humored me and came along since I had the extra tickets. She remembered Elvis from her childhood skating phase and she knew who VM were in the casual way many Canadians do. So she wanted photos with those three but otherwise was perfectly happy to volunteer to be my mom friend and hold the little gift bags with the dolls and the Orlando postcards I’d made up for them.

I mention this because there was someone working for the venue/tour at the head of each line to use our phones/cameras to take our one photo per person for us in order to keep the lines moving along relatively quickly (note: I never felt the slightest bit rushed and everyone was lovely). When we got to the front of Patrick and Kaetlyn’s line the woman there had apparently seen me give the others their dolls and sort of wink-wink said that if my friend wasn’t getting a photo with Patrick and Kaetlyn she could “donate” it and that I should definitely take a second photo with the two of them and their dolls, too. It was so sweet of her to suggest and the photo came out so cute that I’m gonna share it.

Most of the designated camera people actually did take multiple photos, which was nice. Before my first photo with Patrick and Kaetlyn (before I gave them the dolls) Patrick had looked over at Scott and started laughing at something he must have said that I couldn’t hear. In my couple photos, Patrick went from laughing-at-Scott smiling to normal smiling and it’s quite an adorable progression.

My friend L went up to Tessa and Scott before me. Go Your Own Way was the song currently playing and we had been dancing to it in line. As L went up for her photo she joked to Scott that she should probably stop dancing now. He got this shocked look on his face and said, “NO! Never stop dancing!” She joked that she’d be blurry for the photo if she didn’t and he admitted that she had a point.

Can I just say that Tessa Virtue is radiant in person? Like, I expected it and they are all strikingly attractive humans, but Tessa just… glows or something. And Scott’s eyes are so kind. I can get very awkward turtle meeting people I admire but Scott and Tessa have this warmth that just puts you at ease right away.

(Please, please don’t repost any of my doll or m&g photos anywhere, thanks!)

While Tessa and Scott were signing my flag I told them I’d come up from Florida to see them and how it was the first time I’d been able to visit L in our 18 years of friendship. L and I thanked them for putting together the tour so I had the excuse. Scott perked up and said, “Oh yeah? Where in Florida?” (I’m guessing he was curious if it was near where he’d recently visited so he’d have a frame of reference? Idk.)

I gave them the dolls and they both smiled so big while examining them intensely. I was a little overwhelmed so I can’t remember what Scott said to me exactly but part of it was, “You made this?” Tessa said something about how amazing it was that I could make them and I told her I had a little business, which I thought she would appreciate in a girl power kind of way. I told her that I’d made her doll first since I suspected it would be the most complicated (little did I know how Kaitlyn’s dress would prove me so, so wrong there) and it would make or break if I was going to be able to make the rest. She said she loved the details on the dress a lot and was going to show Mathieu and that he’d love it too. (!!!)

In conclusion they are all lovely, talented angels. I had such an amazing time and the show alone was 110% worth my trip to Canada, plus I still had another show in Saint John on Tuesday and all the adventures/hangouts with L over the long weekend too.

Okay, some closeups of the dolls and progress shots. I didn’t get every angle I’d have liked and photos don’t ever do their hair justice, but in case anyone is curious. Also, pardon my crafting mess in the backgrounds.

Seventeen little ice skates starched (so the blades stay semi-firm) and drying. The eighteenth was already dry and had a leg crocheted to it as a proof of concept that it would work. It would eventually become Tessa’s leg and skate, which seemed fitting.

Details on still-headless Tessa. I used sheer organza ribbon for parts of Tessa, Scott, Eric, and Kaitlyn’s costumes.

Details on still-headless Scott.

Tessa and Scott. Tessa has a bun like Kaetlyn’s but low on the back of her head.

Some screencaps from Elvis’ regram of his wife’s Instagram post. His dog’s reaction made my LIFE.

Kaitlyn and Andrew. Andrew was the easiest doll to make, while Kaitlyn was the hardest. Oh, Weapo.

Kaitlyn’s hair, which I think was my favorite hair.

Meagan and Eric. Meagan’s back was entirely covered in those jewels and I didn’t realize I never got a photo of it.

Kaetlyn. Her dress was fun to do but the embroidery thread stitching took forever.

Kaetlyn from the back. (Her bun looks lopsided from the angle of the photo.)

Patrick. I tried my best to recreate the swoopy neckline from his free skate costume and... sort of succeeded?

If you made it this far, honestly I’m impressed. Possibly some show photos to coming soon, along with my recap/photos from Saint John. (I already posted two videos from that show in case you missed them.)

#ttyct #the thank you canada tour #ttyct 18 #ttyct18 #moncton 2018 #moncton 18 #moncton18 #ttyct recap #vm #patrick #kaetlyn #elvis #meagan #eric #kaitlyn #andrew #tessa #scott

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atc74 · 7 years

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The Convention Connection - Where It All Began (2)

Here it is, the next installment of The Convention Connection. This was a one shot originally written for Nicole, @iwantthedean, and has taken on a life of its own and is now an ongoing series. I hope y’all like it. And a very special Happy Birthday to Nicole today! Love you!

There is no disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction, please regard it as such.

Haven’t read it - CATCH UP HERE and fall into the rabbit hole

Word Count: 2000-ish

Warnings: none really, like SUPER FLUFFY (Like I am going to give it away!)

A/N: I actually had SO much to say for this installment, that it required two parts. Beta’d by the infinitely patient @just-another-busy-fangirl. Thanks Laura! You are amazing and I love you!

Nicole woke the next morning, feeling more refreshed than she had in weeks. Maybe it was having Jensen next to her; she always slept better when they were together. She attempted to turn towards Jensen, but his heavy limbs had her immobilized. She looked down to see her husband with his arms wrapped around her middle and his head resting on her stomach, still sound asleep. This tugged at her heartstrings more than she expected and she chalked it up to the hormones, but in reality, she knew they were both over the moon about this pregnancy. She wanted nothing more than to start a family with Jensen and this was just the beginning.

“Jay, Baby, you gotta move.” Nicole tried to wake him, but realized it was futile. She gently raised his one arm and managed to wriggle out from underneath him, shuffling to the bathroom. When she emerged, Jensen was finally awake and watching her as she returned to the bed.

“Sure, now you’re awake!” Nicole chided as she crawled back into the warm bed.

“I missed you,” Jensen mumbled as he pulled you closer.

“Sorry, Babe. I had to pee; you were laying on my bladder!” Nicole laughed.

“I am sorry. I was awake early, so I was talking to our son and I must have fallen back to sleep,” Jensen confessed to her.

“Son? You think it is a boy?” Nicole yawned, stretching her limbs.

“Well, I can hope it is a boy. Wait…do you know already?” Jensen fretted.

“No, no, I do not. It is a little too early anyway; we will have to wait a couple more weeks,” Nicole informed him.

“Can I come with you to your appointments? I don’t want to miss anything. I want us to do this together,” Jensen declared, kissing her soundly.

“I would really love that, Jensen. I haven’t even been to my own doctor yet. I only saw the ultrasound tech at the hospital after my shift one night. I suspected, but it was late and it was the first thing that came to mind. I heard the heartbeat; it’s really strong and the baby is healthy,” Nicole confided.

“I love you so much, Nic. I cannot wait to welcome this baby into the world with you; boy or girl, they are going to be so loved,” Jensen boasted.

“We can take one of those gender predictions things online. If you want…” Nicole offered, reaching for her phone.

“You can do that?!” Jensen marveled.

“They are not one hundred percent, but it could be fun. Let’s do it.” Nicole googled and picked a site. She entered her birthday date and due date and held Jensen’s hand before she clicked the button.

They were staring at the screen together when it populated the result: girl.

“It says we are having a little girl, Nic. We are going to have a little you running around our house soon.” Jensen grabbed her phone and tossed it aside, pulling her into his arms.

“I want a little Jensen running around, but I will take a girl. I just want a healthy baby.” Nicole kissed him and they quietly made plans for the future.

~*~

After spending most of the day lounging around the room and indulging in room service, Nicole ran herself a nice bath while Jensen watched the Rangers game. They still had a few hours before the concert so she was taking her time. They had already called and told their parents about the baby, so it was just the extended Supernatural family they would be telling tonight.

Minneapolis was hot and humid in August; this is a fact. Nicole knew this from experience and had packed accordingly, taking her expanding waistline into consideration. She had picked a blue knee length dress with a paisley pattern that would easily hide her figure with the flowing skirt and high waist. Nicole added a simple pair of platform sandals and was ready before the game was over. She took a seat next to Jensen on the couch in their room to finish watching the game. Nicole always loved baseball and Jensen in a baseball cap was definitely one of her weaknesses; it was how they met after all.

Soon enough the game was over and Jensen stood, helping Nicole to her feet. Clif would be waiting for them downstairs in a few minutes so they made their way to the lobby. The drive to the Minneapolis Convention Center was short and they were quickly led through the back entrance and to the green room.

Cheers from everyone greeted Nicole and Jensen as they made their way into the room. It looked like everyone was there: Kim, Briana, Rich, Rob and the band. Gil and Mark stood off to one side talking with Sam, while Jared and Misha were seated at one of the tables.

Jensen pulled Nicole tight into his side and cleared his throat. “Hey y’all, listen up! Me and the little lady got something to say!” Nicole loved it when Jensen actually let out his native drawl; it did things to her.

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE PREGNANT!” Briana interrupted before Jensen could say anything else. She was the first to rush over and wrap Nicole in a hug first before playfully punching Jensen in the arm.

“Briana, how could you possibly have known?” Jensen argued.

“Because I am a fucking genius and your wife looks even more beautiful than normal and her skin is glowing!” Briana bragged.

Congratulations were received all around from everyone in the room and it was the first thing newcomers were told when they arrived. Nicole thought she would feel overwhelmed, but instead she felt excited and loved, surrounded by friends and family.

She spent most of the evening backstage with Jensen, Jared and Misha, until Rob summoned her husband and Jared out on stage. Nicole slinked back with Briana and Kim to watch Jensen perform from the side of the stage.

“Hello Minneapolis! How y’all doing tonight?” Jensen’s voice filled the entire auditorium. His question was met with a decibel that couldn’t be measured as the fans were ecstatic.

“So my brother Jared and I have been working on a little something for y’all. As you may have seen the footage from Australia, Jared played a little on stage. I convinced him to strap on my guitar tonight and play something. As many of you know, I met my beautiful, amazing wife, Nicole, in this very building three years ago and twelve days ago, but who’s counting?” Jensen laughed along with the crowd.

“So I wanted to do something special for her tonight to tell her how much I love her and to thank her for taking a chance on me and so much more. You guys might know this one. Maestro? Music please.” Jensen nodded and Jared began playing.

When your legs don’t work like they used to before

And I can’t sweep you off of your feet

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks

And darling I will be loving you ‘til we’re 70

And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23

And I’m thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe just the touch of a hand

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day

And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now

Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Place your head on my beating heart

I’m thinking out loud

Maybe we found love right where we are

The crowd was going wild and singing along as Jared continued playing and Jensen moved across the stage, just yards away from where Nicole was standing. He reached out his hand and her body was drawn to him like a magnet. They joined hands and Jensen led Nicole back onstage with him. Rich had brought out a stool and Jensen helped her onto it before he picked the lyrics back up.

When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fades

And the crowds don’t remember my name

When my hands don’t play the strings the same way, mm

I know you will still love me the same

'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it’s evergreen

Baby your smile’s forever in my mind and memory

I’m thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe it’s all part of a plan

I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes

Hoping that you’ll understand

But baby now

Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Place your head on my beating heart

I’m thinking out loud

That maybe we found love right where we are, oh

So baby now

Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart

I’m thinking out loud

That maybe we found love right where we are

Oh maybe we found love right where we are

And we found love right where we are

Jensen finished the song, kissing his wife sweetly on the lips. The crowd gave him and Jared a standing ovation and he thanking them before pulling Nicole through the curtain with him. They both had tears in their eyes as they embraced.

~*~

Nicole and Jensen were ready for the craziness that was Sunday at a Convention with two panels for the guys, multiple photo ops and autographs. Jensen had talked with Chris and he had taken a couple of special photos for them to commemorate the day and the place they met, as well as the photo they would be using to announce their pregnancy to the world. Nicole felt better today and wore another dress similar to the one she wore to the concert.

The gold panel was almost finished and it was time for the last question.

“Hi, what’s your question?” Jared asked the fan.

“My question is for Jensen, sorry Jared.” Jared pretended to be mad, but he was having such a good time, he didn’t even care.

“Hi,” Jensen addressed her as she patiently waited.

“Hi Jensen! I was wondering when you and Nicole were going to start a family,” she asked him timidly, not wanting to get too personal.

“That is a very good question. We all know the Padalecki’s are popping out offspring left and right! Um, hey, Baby? Can you come out here please?” Jensen turned around and Nicole walked through the curtain. Jensen offered her his seat and turned back to the fan.

“You said you had a question for my wife, right?” Jensen chortled.

“Hi Nicole, I asked Jensen when you guys might start a family,” the fan repeated her question for Nicole.

“Hi, well, that is a good question. Can you guys hold on a sec? I have to go grab something.” Nicole jumped down off the stool, ran backstage and came back out with a wrapped box. She hopped back up on the stool, handed Jensen the box and took his microphone, holding it for him.

“What is this?” Jensen eyed Nicole suspiciously.

“Just open it. While you do, I am going to tell them a secret,” Nicole addressed the crowd.

“Now, I know how close we are as a family, right guys? And I know y’all can keep a secret. So what I am going to tell you cannot leave this room, alright?” Nicole hopped back down and walked along the front of the stage.

“We are getting ready to announce something big, but family deserves to know first, so I want to tell you guys, but are you going to tell anyone?” Nicole may have been small, but she commanded a presence on that stage and the crowd all shook their heads no in unison.

“That is reassuring! So guys…we’re having a baby!” Nicole exclaimed and the crowd went bezerk. Nicole held up a hand and they quieted down.

“Chris, are you ready? I have one more surprise…Jay? Did you open the box?” Nicole turned and looked at her husband who stood there with a mix of shock and fear on his face.

“Yeah, he opened it. Jay show our family what is in the box, please,” Nicole prompted Jensen as he held up the box with both hands.

In the box was a set of onesies…

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Dean/Jensen Only: @anokhi07 @perpetualabsurdity @txp87 @akshi8278 @iamabeautifulperson18 @suzannebeaketa @thing-you-do-with-that-thing

#the convention connection #jensen x nicole #jensen ackles fluff #nicsen #jensen ackles #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic

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ellalynnmonroe · 7 years

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VanCon 2017, my second convention is under my belt. Now that I’ve finished my finals for school, I can fully recap the events of the weekend and appreciate them completely. If there are any typos, I apologize now. My brain hurts from taking said finals. Hah.. oh, and uh. I haven’t entered in those fancy ass cues to seperate paragraphs since I was on Live Journal… like 15 years ago. So.. sorry for the continuous paragraph. 😂 The weekend began with this sweet gal (@winchestersnco) arriving at my door step. This woman was my right hand woman and savior this weekend. She was so incredibly helpful, patient, and loving when it came to my two month old daughter.. who’s name happens to be Amara. **Long backstory short.. my bf and I loved the name and the uniqueness. The fact it’s a character from our favorite only had a small part it.. as is the fact she was created at VanCon 2016…. #porncouver 😂** The drive to Vancouver started out great. Amara slept for the first third of the drive. And then hated us the rest of the drive. Though it was rather exhausting, me feeding her in her carseat is a memory neither Erin or I will forget, I’m sure. Needless to say, Amara had worn herself out so much, she only woke to eat and slept nine hours that night. Friday! The show started later than I remember it starting last year. The energy was also different. Maybe I got spoiled with Kim and Brianna. Rich is a neat dude and all, but those girls really set the bar high. Lol. The panels were fun. The first and only time Amara made a sound during a panel was during Samantha Smith’s. Of course I get called out and stand up to show her I actually have a baby. Jason Manns was added to the guest list at the last minute and I was so thrilled! Amara slept so soundly through his panel; she loves her music! Our autographs for the day included Sam Smith, Emily Swallow, and Brianna Buckmaster. Sam was apparently upset I didn’t actually walk Amara up to her during her panel. Lol, oops. She was in awe by the eye contact my tiny can make. She said “You are not new”. She said Amara is “an old soul”. A mother generally thinks their kid is the best, but hearing how alert and aware your two month old actually is, kinda makes your heart swell. 😍 Emily… ah, how do I put this nicely?.. I’m not a fan. She’s a bit… snatchy. Guess I can’t put that nicely. For those who don’t know, Emily plays the character, Amara on SPN. Coming into this auto, I thought even if this lady thinks I’m a total dweeb and I named my daughter after a SPN character because I’m incredibly obsessed, she would pretend to be amused. Nope. She was so blandly like, “Oh… cooool”. And then proceeded to take this stuffed doll someone made her and wave it in front of her face. I was hardly impressed. Brianna is probably one of my favorite human beings. I walk up and immediately she says “I kinda wanna hold that baby”. I told her she could, but she insisted on keeping the baby comfy. She was pretty entertained by the origin of her name; she said the last reason was the best reason. I just want to be her bff. She’s pretty damn rad. Karaoke…. well. We showed up late so all the guests were already tossed. ESPECIALLY my favorite person if the day. You guessed it. Emily Swallow. One of my roomies of the weekend stayed with me for a bit; Amara slept the whole time. It was the freakin’ Emily Swallow show. She sang over EVERYONE that sang a song. And by sang, I mean yelled with a vibrato. Not. Impressed. Saturday!! I really wanted to watch the first panel, but sleep took over and I slept too late. I love sleep, so I wasn’t to hard on myself. Hah. Mark Sheppard’s panel was entertaining, as usual. He’s so sassy. I attempted to ask him what activities he likes to do with his kids, now that he has some free time. Before I even asked my question, he looked at Amara and said, “That’s not my baby”. Hahaha. After me asking my question and him not answering, I tried to repeat my question and he called me bossy and continued to avoid my question. 😂 there’s a video or two of the ordeal running around out there that I need to acquire. I was pretty bummed he didn’t walked around the audience like he usually does. Idk who did what to him to make him pissed off, but they should be slapped. Misha Collins’ panel was absurd. I laughed so much, I can’t remember too many specifics. The moment I’ll never forget; however, is him asking how to sign “take a dump” in American Sign Language. I died. Matt Cohen, Rob Benedict, and Richard Speight Jr had the last panel. Amara had started to get a little wiggly, so I was in and out for that one. Rachel Miner’s panel… I am too hormonal for that shit. The guys carried her out to the stage and the audience gave her a standing ovation. I wept. She is one inspiration gal. We had a photo op with Brianna and autos with Matt and Mark that day. Our photo with Briana was all thanks to Erin.. Seriously. This girl is the effing best. I can’t brag enough about her. Anyway, back to Briana. When we walked up, I said to her, “You can hold this baby now!”. She did not argue one bit. Chris about died when he say her homemade ‘Wayward AF’ bandana-turned-bandaeu. Mark signed a book my friend gave to Amara, “If I Were a Moose”. Mark’s response? “If I were a moose, I’d kill myself”. Lol. Jesus Christ, Mark. 😂 Matt was cute and sweet as always. Nothing particularly memorable was said. But I do want you all to know that man is getting some of those silver highlights in his hair… Hey. Girl. Hey. Rachel was just as sweet as she was in her panel. She’s is a fighter. I could only hope to be the bad ass this woman is! I had the chance to chat with Jason Manns for a minute. He picked out which album of his Amara would like best. He was so sweet, and I’m so glad he was there. Louden Swain performed a couple acoustic songs in the lobby before signing autos for those that bought some merch. They had they’re SNS album available, so obvioisly I purchased it. Lol they too, were so nice. The talent these men posses is unreal. SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL. What’s there to say, that hasn’t already been said. The SNS never disappoints. Louden Swain is PHENOMENAL. Emily was annoying and Brianna nailed it. Oh yeah. And Jensen made an appearance and knocked everyone’s socks off.. or should I say panties? 😉 Fucking SUNDAY, BITCHES. J2 day. This is the day that everyone is anxiously awaiting. The panel was obviously hilarious and fun. These boys NEVER disappoint. There were too many funny moments to explain, but my fav? The endless butt jokes. YouTube the panel if you wanna get in on the jokes. Amara and I had a photo with Jensen and then I have one by myself with Jensen. As soon as I walk up to him and he sees Amara, his mouth drops. I asked, “Would you mind holding her for a photo?” He obviously did not object. Who can resist a tiny baby in a shirt that says ‘World’s cutest Supernatural fan" and a little black tutu with a SPN themed bow on the front of it?? Chris died, once again, after coming on close to check out her outfit. Bless that man! He took three quick shots and printed each of them for me to ensure we got a good one. And then I hand the tiny off and tell Jensen I have one with just myself and he proceeds to give me the best hug, Chris takes the pic, and Jensen gives me a tight squeeze. I tell him thank you, and he says something along the lines of “Congrats, mom”….. and I died. Hahaha. When I go to grab Amara, the head dudes in charge are fawning over her. I’d say her outfit was a success. Coming down the escalator, Gil McKinney came over to take to Amara. This man had been eyeballin’ her all weekend. It was pretty cute and sweet how he approached us. Jason also came over to see her Sunday outfit. I’m telling you, these guys are rad AF. Our autos were at the end of the day, and Amara was getting tired. Thankfully she stayed awake long enough for the two boys to see her. We get up to Jensen and he’s still all about her. He asks her name, and I tell him and the story to go with it. You can tell he’s kinda listening. For comedic value, I decided to say to him, “she’s out souvenir from last year” and the look on his face was priceless. It took a split second for him to register it, but once he did, he chuckled a bit. I thought Jerad was going to steal her. As soon as I walked up, he said “Look at the knees! And those thighs!” He was amazed by how strong she is and couldn’t believe she was only two months old. Now.. this is suppose to be the time I say, “That was that and we went home”……. But no. It. Gets. Better. So Erin and I had stood in line with our weekend roomies. They were toward the end, with maybe a dozen people behind them. Once they went behind the curtain, and Amara was sound asleep in her shoulder, she began walking back to our seats. I told her to slow her roll. I’m thinking, maybe if we linger long enough and stealth enough, some magic will happen…. AND DID IT EVER. Jensen comes out and waves to everyone, waves at Erin and I.. but does a double take when he sees this sleeping ball of chunk on Erin’s shoulder… he then RUNS OVER TO AMARA, PINCHES AT HER SWEET CHUBBY CHEEKS.. AND THEN.. GIVES HER A KISS ON HER CHEEK. JENSEN KISSED MY BABY. I vowed to never wash her again; however she had gotten herself so worked up on the ride home, she projectile vomited ALL OVER ME. It was a wonderful weekend, not too hectic, filled with such wonderful memories that I can’t wait to share with Amara when she’s older. 99% (lol) of the guests were so sweet and supportive of me bringing my tiny. The fans all loved her. I only had a few people harass me about ear protection, of which I brought, one lady get salty about being next to a baby before she had a chance to show her what an angel of a baby she is, and one person suggest I breastfeed in the bathroom after I asked where would he a good spot to sit and feed her. Other than that, everyone was great, I had a great time, and I miss all my ladies!

#supernatural #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #vancon #mark sheppard #brianna buckmaster #misha collins #matt cohen #samantha smith #jason manns #louden swain

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