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#this has been my whole week I'm having a great time
doomsday-dj · 2 days
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Yo. Bestie. Do you have any Rizzles author recommendations for me??
You have cruelly seduced me into this teeny-tiny-weeny fandom and now I have galloped my way through (almost) all of your brilliant body of work I am cast adrift and quickly finding out that "sort by kudos" simply does not bring up the goods here...
Help a gay out?
Oh fuck yeah, bestie. Yes. Do I ever!! I am about to WEAR OUT the link function. But before the recommendations: aw shucks and thank you and all that. Your comments this week have been a highlight. I'm sorry to have dragged you into this but hopefully this post makes up for it! I've been dabbling in some other fandoms lately, ones with a LOT of fics, and there's a lot of great writers out there, but I have to say that especially relative to how many fics there are, there's an outrageous amount of good writers who have written Rizzles.
Okay! So disclaimer that I’ve had a really ungodly amount of coffee today so if this is a little on the “un” side of hinged then I apologize. I am definitely gonna be REAL effusive. I was silly and shy about leaving comments and kudos when I first got on AO3 and now I make up for those crimes by being unabashedly keen.
I have gone and sorted by kudos (and, sidenote, discovered that I'm in the top 30????) and before I get to the under-appreciated bangers, I will say that plenty of my faves feature in the first two pages of sort by kudos (though their most kudosed work is almost never my fave one). Here I’m thinking of coolbyrne, @julieverne, DanteBeatrice77. All of these authors are awesome.
Also, amongst the highly kudosed works, Attachment by @performativezippers is a classic for in the fandom for good reason (and their Bachelor AU is a romp) and law of the lever by sharkfights is one of my favourites all time.
As for the other stuff, what do you WANT out of your fic, bestie?
You want the feelings? You want the beautifully written feelings? @ladyriot has got feelings FOR DAYS. If you want some one shots that will take you apart and put you back together, you’ve come to the right place. Good feelings, angsty feelings, all the feelings you need. My favourite is Let Our Hands Tell the Story but I recommend all of them. Mostly it's one shots but the one complete multi-chapter fic, Transference, is CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. Less than 200 kudos?! Fuck all the way off. I don’t know if it’s because it’s an AU or if it’s because of the doctor/patient element but unless that’s a trigger, I promise you it it’s handled very artfully and also it’s fucking fiction and no patient’s rights were violated in the making of this fic. Oh and put your ink on my skin 'til it comes off on me is both devastating and stupid hot.
Haven’t had enough feelings?? Take your insufficiently battered heart over to @sideadde’s work. I especially like Who Needs Two Kidneys When Another Heart Can Be Had? and Immersion Therapy.
You want a big meaty casefic you can sink your teeth into?? Domini_porter’s CMYK is so goddamn good. The smutty chapters in this one are just...chef's kiss. Among my favourites all time. I am also entirely obsessed with their Victorian AU, which deserves more attention. Also if you want some crack-your-chest-open-and-pull-out-your-guts angst go alllll the way back to their first fics on AO3.
OH. @kurtsvonneslut too. I think and you cooled my mind that burned with longing is probably my favourite post-finale type fic, bit of an AU with some major canon changes. They also have an excellent picking-up-from-the-Jane-and-Maura-season-2/3-break-up casefic, A Crime of Passion, and they wrote a devastating exploration of PTSD that just...oooof.
God, I could really just keep going and going. And this is just on AO3!!! I feel like I could do a whole part two of this that's just flagging all the best stuff that's back on ff.net. I might have to because this is already really long. But I'm stopping for now. Thanks for the BEST ASK.
*dramatic stage whisper* psssst do you want smut? I feel like I could also do a whole post on smut alone. Maybe later.
Note: I’ve tagged authors if their tumblr name is the same as their ao3 name, because I assume they’re okay with being found. If any of you would like to be untagged from the post just DM me and I’ll do that lickety split.
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anjelicawrites · 2 days
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Was rereading the Aemond x reader x osferth tag and came across this:
When still single and drunk off her ass, reader bought a huge one, a 40 cm length and 10 cm girth with thick ridges; that had been a blackout purchase which she forgot about until the package was delivered. The thing has never been used; reader and Osferth love pulling Aemond’s leg, telling him that reader has used it on Osferth (”No one can fit it” “No, not with that attitude!”).
May we please have a whole oneshot talking about this? Cause this would be something I would do and it’s hilarious
Sorry for the long wait!!! I'm not sure I have hit the mark perfectly with this one, the muse didn't want to unstruck themselves from this particular idea!
Warnings: mention of dildo usage, a small reference to reader's abusive ex, kissing, suggestive situations.
Not really NSFW but def 18+ please!
You're sorting out the toys. You've already put the nastier stuff away, under lock and key, away from Aemond's eye, now you are sorting the rest of the stuff you and Osferth have managed to collect through the years; today is a day as good as any to throw out the toys that are too old to be used, so you decided to sit on the bedroom floor and start.
You are not listening to your surroundings, too intent in finishing the task ahead to notice Aemond's light steps coming behind you.
"Are you keeping that?" He asks, his soft voice makes you jump in surprise.
'That' is the 40 cm long and 10 cm girth dildo, with thick ridges you bought and never used.
You were drunk when you bought it, not too long after your abusive ex was out of the picture and you were still trying to sort your out your life; you didn't even remember the purchase and was surprised when the delivery man came knocking a couple of days after: that was the day you had a truly hearty laughter after years of pain.
"Why wouldn't I?" You ask, knowing full well where this conversation is heading. "Because you don't use it and Osferth does neither." "Again? That's slander, pretty boy!" "What's going on?"
Osferth's head pops from the door; you two don't even need to talk, not when you know he's seen the huge dildo.
"Aemond is slandering you." You smirk. "Is that so?" "He is saying I have never fucked you using this bad boy here." You say, grabbing the toy. "I've never seen you two use it!"
Osferth enters the room and hugs Aemond from behind.
"It was before you, my sweet prince." "Is that so?"
Aemond's legendary eyebrow arch makes an appearance.
"Why aren't you anymore? Hmm?"
Osferth nuzzles Aemond long neck to hide his smile.
"It had been a feat, sweetling." You say. "For how long you didn't walk straight Osferth?"
Osferth's head sits on Aemond's shoulder now.
"Almost two weeks. I truly felt it, it was great!" "If it was that great, why didn't you use it ever again? Hmm?"
Now it's Aemond's turn to nuzzle Osferth's neck and leave small kisses on the delicate skin.
"I had to drive him to work, he couldn't ride his bike, and preparing him took a very long time. It was hard work to make sure I didn't harm him, pretty boy." You say. "I still think you two are pulling my leg."
Aemond's voice is huskier, now that Osferth's hands is traveling from his chest to his lower tummy.
"You're offending me, Aemond." He says. "I demand compensation."
Aemond turns in Osferth's embrace and grabs his hips, forcing him to plaster himself against his body.
"I can give you all the compensation you need, beloved. Take your clothes off."
You see Osferth visibly swallow and his cheeks turn a dark shade of pink.
"Are you joining us?" Aemond asks you, barely turning his head. "Nope." You answer, spreading your legs. "Let me enjoy the view."
Poly taglist : @fan-goddess, @notyour-valentine, @anakiinx
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llyfrenfys · 1 day
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In which I try not to be That Guy TM when it comes to Irish ancestors: An exploration of ancestry, diaspora and culture
Because of The Horrors TM in my life atm I've been looking into my biological family tree. I'm adopted but estranged from my adoptive family and I never met my biological family since I was adopted just short of my 2nd birthday. I've been tracing my ancestry for about 3 years now and it's genuinely quite stress relieving to me. It's also fun and challenging from a research standpoint - putting together my own family tree gave me the skills to write articles like this one I wrote in 2022 about historical Welsh queer people, for example.
Lately, I've been finding out more about my Irish ancestors while an adoptee (and thus not knowing any of my biological family) - but also doing this as a Celticist and tired of people doing the 'my sister's friend's cousin's father's mother was Irish' thing. This has created an almost unbearable tension between curiosity at my own ancestry while trying not to be That Guy who finds out about one (1) Irish ancestor hundreds of years ago and is weird about it.
Especially since mine are quite distant ancestors - my great, great, great grandparents were born in Dublin and in a tiny village in County Down called Dunnaman (near Kilkeel). However, they were Irish Catholics and emigrated to Liverpool in the 1870s - all of their subsequent children and grandchildren were born in Liverpool and all of the above + great grandchildren were raised Catholic - including my grandmother (who died before I was born). So there was an obvious attempt to maintain that heritage. There's even evidence my great, great, great grandmother at least spoke Irish (which, as she was born in County Down, would have been Ulster Irish).
The problems with uncritically throwing oneself at an ancestor's nationality:
Now, not all North Americans of Irish (or Welsh, Scottish, Italian, Scandinavian, German etc.) descent do this - but there's a very vocal set of North Americans of Irish descent who find awe and interest in their ancestry - which is actually quite a positive thing! - however, due to either temporal or cultural disconnect, they may end up doing or saying things (and not necessarily with bad intentions) which can have a negative impact on the Irish and the Irish language (or [nationality] and [language(s) associated with that nationality].
I'm reminded of the time an American commented on a Welsh language rights post I made in support of Welsh speakers, but they accidentally ended up using a white nationalist slogan by mistake. It can be a minefield - and with regards to Ireland specifically, mistakes like that can be so much worse. To literally give my own (mild) example, today I decided to relearn Irish (since I haven't spoken any in years since being taught basics at undergrad) and picked up a blank notebook I bought at Tesco the other week, while completely forgetting the inside cover of the notebook was orange. I was planning on decorating the notebook anyway and painted it a different colour. While I know that nobody would really hold it against me if I didn't change the colour, I just know that walking around with an orange notebook filled with Irish I'm relearning because of interest in my Catholic ancestors could be a confusing set of messages, at the very least. If you don't understand why this is, look up the meanings of the colours on the flag of Ireland.
Which is to say, even those of us in Northern Europe who have significantly greater physical proximity to Ireland than North America (and therefore should know better) still can and do get things wrong. And not just benignly wrong like in my case.
The tendency for some North Americans of Irish descent (Canada isn't exempt from this) to conflate Irish ancestry with a contemporary connection to the modern countries located on the island of Ireland as a whole can have results ranging from 'a bit weird' to 'jesus fucking christ'. As a Celticist, I've seen far, far too many Americans of Irish descent try to weigh in on modern Irish politics without any background knowledge or tact at all - and naturally they stake their claim on modern Irish politics entirely on the premise of having distant Irish ancestors. Or, even worse, things start to get all phrenological.
'Irish blood' and the nonexistence thereof:
'Irish blood' is continually evoked by some to validate their sense of 'Irishness' and the obsession with '[insert nationality] blood' is a distinctly North American phenomenon- likely related to or an offshoot of the concept of 'blood quantum', in which enrolment into some Native American nations and tribes is determined by how much 'Native blood' a person has. Notably, many people who would ostensibly have been described under this system as 'full blood' were registered by the US as 'half blood'. This is a method of genocide intended to wipe out tribes and nations by imposing strict measures of who does or does not qualify to enrol into a tribe or nation. This concept seems to have been extrapolated over time (in a North American context at least) into the idea of descent from other nationalities' being measured in a similar or adjacent way. This is how you end up with some North Americans declaring they are '1/8 Italian and 1/4 Irish' on their dad's side etc. While in Europe (where these nationalities hail from, crucially) this practice is seen as a really weird way to describe your ancestry. In general, it's simply 'my 4 times grandfather came from Spain' or 'my great great grandfather on my dad's side came from Finland' etc. if it comes up at all. For various political reasons, many Europeans with descent from multiple other European nationalities may choose to omit to mention descent from certain nationalities, especially if in recent history there has been conflict between their birth nation and an ancestor's nation. The most famous example of this is literally the British royal family changing their surname from the German Saxe-Coburg and Gotha to the more 'British sounding' Windsor in 1917 due to the onset of the First World War.
Where it gets really weird (and also very offensive and rude) is when cultural stereotypes get invoked alongside the whole 'blood' thing in usually quite damaging and/or disparaging ways. I've seen way too many North Americans of Irish descent claim they're alcoholics because they have 'Irish blood' or even worse, claim it's normal to domestically abuse their spouses because of it!! (Genuine thing I have seen btw). Same goes for claiming to be a naturally good chef because of 'Italian blood' and so on. As a general rule, people from the place where your ancestors were from don't generally like to be inherently be considered drunks or prone to violence due to their nationality. Or have weird and inaccurate idealisms projected onto their language or cuisine.
Aren't there any positives?
It wouldn't be fair to make a post like this without mentioning some of the positives that can come from interest in an Irish ancestor. Like I mentioned at the start of this post, I myself felt inspired to relearn Irish because of my own Irish ancestors. I was taught the Connacht dialect at undergrad, however, since my ancestor was from County Down, I'm going to try and learn Ulster Irish instead. One doesn't need Irish ancestors to learn Irish of course - when I learned I wasn't aware I had any Irish ancestors. But being inspired to learn Irish because of an ancestor can't hurt and directly increases the number of Irish speakers in the world (provided you keep at it). This is a net positive for the language as a whole.
Similarly, people who have educated themselves on Irish politics because of their ancestry and genuinely learned something are also a positive thing to come out of discovering Irish ancestors. In my experience, these people are the kind of people I enjoy talking to about being a Celticist because they actively want to learn and respect the cultures being talked about. Which is huge to me!
Conclusion:
As a Welsh speaker whose national identity is more-or-less Jan Morris-esque, my Irish ancestry is an interesting facet of my ancestry I simply didn't know about before. And being an adopted person, I can sympathise with the general sentiment of a lot of white North Americans of feeling disconnected or alienated from any ancestral heritage. The conditions which create That Guy TM as described above rely on that sense of alienation to propagate a very ineffective, tactless and often very insensitive approach to Irish and other European cultures. But the important thing is that that approach can be challenged by people genuinely interested in their ancestry who are also conscientious of the living versions of the cultures their ancestors hailed from.
For me, that means learning Irish in a dialect my ancestors are likely to have spoken. I also visited the library today to check out some books on the Irish emigration to England and the sociopolitical reasons behind that emigration. I know the broad strokes, but the details are desirable to know to get a better idea of the why and how the country of my birth had a hand in creating the conditions which led my ancestors to emigrate in the first place. I think the world would be a better place if people took the time to understand the history and politics of ancestors which don't share their nationality.
As always, reblogs and thoughts are welcomed and encouraged!
Thank you for reading to the end - and if you'd like to support me, please see my pinned post. Diolch!
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If you do take requests at this moment, can I request a Hualian x GN reader where reader feels like the third wheel, and when Hualian look further into reader, they find out that reader is hurting themselves/trying to change in the way they look
That Hualian would baby reader, like take sharp objects out of arm’s reach, or spoon feed reader when it’s time to eat. Giving reader kisses and words of affirmation every time they’re around
Lol, I’m feeling very angsty, but if this request is a little too far, you don’t have to do it (I hope you’re doing great! Make sure to drink enough water!) 🥰
Shape Shifting Heart
HuaLian x gn!reader
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Ignore grammar mistakes
Slight OOC
Made up looks about reader for plot
Tyyy Pepsi zero has become my hydration 😔🙏
Also I'm so sorry for disappearing but I've had like the worst few months of my life ever so 😃🙏 bear with me
____________________________________
Being with Xie Lian and San Lang is the best thing that has ever happened to you. There's so much love to go around with three people and everyone is always taking care of each other! So you never listened to people being hateful about it, whether that be other gods or ghosts. You guys are happy and that all that matters right?
What happens when all of you aren't happy, when it's just one person bringing down the mood and the whole relationship? That's how you've been feeling lately. You haven't been much use to Xie Lian and San Lang these days. Often, you've been curled up in bed and staying hidden under the covers. For what reason? They don't know. You won't talk to them, and while Xie Lian and San Lang pride themselves on knowing you inside and out they can't figure out what's wrong.
You can't tell them. It's kind of embarrassing, humiliating even. How do you tell your lovers, "I feel like the third wheel, I feel neglected and left out" to the two kindest people you've ever met. Everything you do seems to make it worse and you're trying your best so you don't understand why it seems to put your relationship more on edge.
You had honestly just wanted to sulk and pout for a few days in bed over something silly. When they stopped visiting the bedroom it became a problem. All you do is lie here so what could possibly have made them want to leave you alone? You aren't even doing anything to warrant them off! Xie Lian and San Lang easily coddle each other all the time so why don't they think to do it with you? They stopped coming to the shared bedroom, even going as far to sleep in another bedroom together, but by themselves without you.
It only made you feel worse, are you so depressed and off putting they don't want to be near you now? Sadness becomes frustration and it fuels you to get out of bed in what has been weeks. You leave the room disheveled and groggy hoping to find one of your lovers to receive some affection, to you it feels like you haven't had in forever.
You find them together in the kitchen, an awfully domestic scene. Xie Lian cooking dinner and San Lang attached by the hip. The way San Lang holds Xie Lian's waist and stays close while Xie Lian bustles around the kitchen. Where you had once been and would usually love to hear the sound of their laughs and love filled giggles all it sounds like is mocking joy of what you once felt. How many nights has it been like this? How many nights have they been content without you?
"Making dinner without me?" You pipe up, leaning against the kitchen counter. Making dinner is a silly thing to be upset about. A part of you feels awful for being so jealous but the other doesn't. It's not like you're jealous of San Lang or jealous of Xie Lian. You don't spite a specific person. You're just jealous of the love they share, of their bond. You're envious of their happiness, you just want to be included too!
"Ah, y/n!", Xie Lian gives a wobbly smile, "Of course not" Xie Lian didn't know how to bring up that they've been trying to give you space. He doesn't know how to say it in a way that would sound reasonable to you. These days you've been a little irritated and you easily take words they say but add a whole new meaning to it. They know it's not your fault, it's one of your episodes maybe.
No one moves. They don't know whether to extend a hand to invite you or not but you seem to take it upon yourself. You walk closer and stick right up to Xie Lian's and San Lang's side. The tension - you can't tell if you're imagining it or not, you've been imagining a lot these days - is thick. "Well I feel a little better so I'll join from now on, what are you making?" You try to make conversation, you try to move closer in hopes that the domestic scene will just continue.
It doesn't. The room is tense and so are your lovers. You hate it. It makes you want to lash out, cry, and scream. Xie Lian and San Lang seem to be walking on eggshells around you and you don't know why. You've never gotten angry with them before, you've never been violent or aggressive with them so why are they acting like you're a ticking bomb?
San Lang attempts to break the tense atmosphere first. Wrapping hesitant hands around your waist and nuzzling into your hair, hair he will not mention is a bit notty. "We missed you" he murmurs into your long, bright locs. "We're glad you feel better" this seems to get the night moving smoothly again. It's pathetic how quickly you melt into San Lang's touch and preen at his words. It finally feels like you're included in the domestic picture they make.
The three of you eat dinner and enjoy it, Xie Lian's cooking has been getting a lot better but that's probably because you and San Lang were in the kitchen to help him. You're filled with a deep satisfaction when Xie Lian gently grabs your hand and all of you go to your shared bedroom together. Xie Lian pulls you into bed and They cuddle up next to you under the covers, placing gentle kisses on your face and shoulders.
You feel suddenly energetic because of the affection you're receiving. Making you giggle and kissing them back with new found passion. You won't lie you guys haven't had sex in a while so. . . You easily climb on San Lang, and straddle his hips. Kissing him eagerly and nipping against his lips. They weren't expecting you to be so eager but who are they to deny you.
Xie Lian gets behind you and slips off your robe, running his hands over your body. Your back, arms, hips, and thighs- your thighs. Xie Lian's hands freeze, and moves his hands as if he's been scalded. The sudden movement catches San Lang's attention and he sits up but he keeps you in his lap. "Gege what's wrong?" San Lang stares at Xie Lian and suddenly all the attention is off you. Somewhere inside you, you feel a little miffed at Xie Lian's reaction.
But you're concerned too so you turn your head to your other lover with concerned eyes, however Xie Lian is the one staring at you with pity. He turns on the light and sits next to San Lang. "His thighs, San Lang. . ." You scrunch your face. Of course that's what Xie Lian reacted so strongly about. While you were rotting in bed you were feeling so down in the dumps. So- so maybe you took it out on yourself and used your sword on your own skin.
It's not that big of a deal, they're already healed and just remain thick scars across your thighs but it matters to your lovers greatly. They've explored your body many times, and they know these are new. "Baobei, what happened?" Xie Lian cups your face with gentle hands but you turn your head the other way. You're irritated the night has stopped over something so trivial. "Nothing important, I was just feeling upset a few weeks ago, it's trivial now. Can't we just- can we not focus on that?"
Your face is scrunched in irritation and you try to roll your hips against San Lang but he removes you from his lap and onto the silk covers. You groan in frustration. The night was going perfectly and now it's all messed up! San Lang's eyes narrow as he gazes over your legs, and you swallow nervously. "This isn't something we can just ignore Y/n. You know that. . . Let's stop here for tonight" If it were San Lang saying it you wouldn't have minded as much but it's Xie Lian.
Xie Lian loves San Lang's body even with the scars on it so why won't he love yours?! "We don't have to stop! Just- ignore it, would you please?! I can get rid of them, I can look like whatever you want me to be! " You never notice when you start heaving for breath, when tears line your eyes and you try to cling to one of your lovers. You don't notice when you subconsciously change your body into something else because it's something you've always had the power to do.
So when your skin becomes smooth again, and unmarked it's something you don't even look over. But for Xie Lian and San Lang it's completely different. It's like looking at a stranger's body. Like looking at somebody who's never worked a day in their life, someone who has never gone to battle, something you are not but you're desperately trying to be. You have no scars, and the callouses on your hands have disappeared. They've memorized everything on you and now you've made yourself look completely different.
To you, it feels like they look at you with disgust and anger. You're breaking down and it's not something you're even registering. "Y/n stop!" San Lang gives up on keeping you on the bed and he lets you crawl into his lap, he cups your face with surprisingly gentle hands that contradict his angry voice. "Breathe Baobei" he rubs comforting circles into your hips and Xie Lian rubs your back. They're trying to get you to breathe and to stop hyperventilating.
San Lang never looks away from you, and he plants tiny kisses in your cheeks to get rid of your tears. When did you start crying? You don't remember. You eventually calm down from listening to your lovers instructions and their loving touches. When you're finally breathing normally again and the tension leaves your body they try talking to you again. Xie Lian rubs his fingers through your hair, he doesn't like how you've easily changed yourself. He misses your bright locs not the dark ones you've decided to take on. He kisses your head. "I want to talk to my Y/n now. Can I?" Xie Lian asks sweetly.
You've always been you but he wants to talk to his lover not the made up version of yourself. You sniffle and San Lang pats your waist. You take the encouragement and change back to your original body. When you make a weird noise in your throat that sounds close to a sob Xie Lian wraps around you and kisses your nape. "That's good Baobei, we're proud of you." San Lang and Xie Lian glance at each other and in that moment decide to drop the topic about your new found scars. They can only try to find the root of the issue now.
San Lang kisses your forehead and then below your eyes and then your lips. "Tell us what's wrong?" San Lang poses it as a question. As in, you don't have to but it would greatly help them if you did. You feel pathetic and selfish. You don't know why you broke down over something so silly and foolish. "I-I felt, I felt like a t-third wheel. You guys seem so happy without me and all I do is mess up, I'm sorry " you start to cry again and you rub at your eyes harshly but San Lang holds your wrists gently and keeps them away from your eyes.
Xie Lian kisses your shoulder. "There's nothing to be sorry for baobei. No one's at fault." He runs his hands over your thighs, making circles with his fingers. "We didn't mean to make you feel left out, we just wanted to give you space. We thought that's what you needed" Xie Lian explains softly. You nod and sniffle. That's more reasonable than whatever your mind came up with. San Lang pulls you closer by the waist. "If we make you feel like that tell us Baobei, we'll fix it immediately" he says with narrowed eyes. You know he isn't upset with you and he's probably beating himself up for not being able to tell. You kiss him deeply and sigh against his lips.
"M'sorry, I know you love me I just- my mind tells me awful things." You whisper in San Lang's lips and kiss him again. San Lang grunts and playfully tugs a piece of your hair. "Should I beat it up for you?" It makes you giggle.
🦊🪷
For the next few days and even few weeks they baby you endlessly. Xie Lian keeps an eye on sharp objects and makes sure you can't get into the weapons room. He also confiscated your sword and he won't even let you hold knives in the kitchen. The only sword you're allowed to be around is E'ming and they know you wouldn't do that to him or San Lang.
They have no problem with dragging you everywhere they go and often San Lang likes to feed you during meals. At first you blushed and insisted you could do it yourself but San Lang waved your concerns away and said "Let me take care of you". They coddle you a lot and one of them is always in the room with you. You know now that you need to work on your communication and not let your mind get to you. It was a big misunderstanding but San Lang and Xie Lian treat it as if it was a genuine problem.
You're suffocated with love but you wouldn't change it for the world.
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cutepresea · 2 days
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The first half of Shirabe Meshi chapter 30 is finally out after getting delayed due to the flu
It starts on a stormy night with Carol holding what seems to be the direct feedback system that Elfnein modified to dive into memories
"If I use this, then my memories..."
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The next day, everyone is talking about the weather the night before, particularly how much lightning there was. Genjuro jokingly asks Hibiki if her belly button got stolen (referencing a bit of folklore where Raijin will steal your belly button if you don't cover it during a storm).
Hibiki says "Master, please, that would never happen these days! It may have happened to people in the past, but if you wear a belly band, it's totally fine! That's what Dad told me!"
Tomosato: (Don't laugh...)
Fujitaka (I actually feel sorry for her...)
But that particular conversation comes to a close when the Autoscorers run in with Carol in tow. "Master started acting all cute!"
Meanwhile, poor Carol is so confused and scared due to being taken to a "strange place" by a bunch of "weirdos"
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The Autoscorers discuss Carol's personality change to which Elfnein comments that it's like how she was when she was younger and her father was alive (Carol: "A girl that looks just like me?!")
Hibiki gets sad because she thinks that Carol burned away her memories after all they've been through together but Fujitaka points out they haven't detected energy great enough for that to be the case.
...Then Elfnein notices Micha's hands.
Her claws are uh...fish now. Apparently Carol got scared of them and transmuted them into something less...sharp.
Genjuro suggests getting her to the infirmary, but him being as big as he is, he scares her, so she starts freaking out and turning everything she can into fish.
Shirabe comes in with onigiri and suggesting a break right in time for them to...also get turned to fish.
Shirabe: "My salmon onigiri turned back into salmon..."
Genjuro: "At this rate we'll all be turned to salmon! We have no choice, we have to use force!"
Carol: "NOOO! SOMEONE HELP ME!"
And so Hibiki's need to protect others kicks in.
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"You can't be so forceful with a crying child!" and runs off with her.
Carol: "Um, who are you?"
Hibiki: "I'm Hibiki Tachibana, age 17! My birthday is September 13, my blood type is O, my height is 157 cm, and yeah, maybe I'd LIKE to be a bit taller! I'll tell you my weight once we're better friends! My hobby is helping people and my favorite thing is Miku's food! And when it comes to the whole never having a boyfriend thing, I'm updat--"
Shirabe: "Stop! You're screaming some pretty private stuff in a public area."
Shirabe informs Hibiki that Elfnein and the others are going to investigate the cause, but in the meantime they have orders to calm Carol down, so they decide to give her some new fun memories by taking her to an amusement park
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Hibiki goes to get some drinks and comes back to Carol and Shirabe sitting on a bench. Hibiki asks if she's tired, and Carol responds that when she was living her with father, she never knew the world outside of that had so many fun things to do and so many good foods to eat.
So Hibiki says she has one last place to take Carol: Her dad's ramen cart.
Carol is amazed that his food looks so good, because her dad always blew up whatever he was cooking
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Some tears fall into the broth, and that's...the end of the first half. Second half will be released in a week.
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byanyan · 3 months
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me trying to take things easy and enjoy myself and not pressure myself over a hobby and just write what i'm feeling vs my brain telling me that i'm the worst person to write with bc I'm so slow and i don't focus on the things i should and my replies are a disappointment for how long they take to get posted and i'm never gonna get caught up on drafts and
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coffeeworldsasaki · 2 months
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Well I wanted to take a break on bg3 until they got a patch out to be a bit safer but I had a fucking nightmare day so fuck it, hopefully nothing will break but I'm going to play because I need to relax
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Can't believe my current hyperfixation broke me out of my month long streak of being unable to write anything just to write a potentially long ass byler fic when I never write romance. I'm so fixated on the idea of will getting to have something good happen to him
#stranger things#byler#and the worst part is (i say as if this isn't the thing i find fun) that my brain gets obsessed with character dynamics#and currently i belive the theory that mike has been a closeted homosexual this whole time and has been pushing his feelings for will onto#el (tho i'll be psyched if it turns out he's bi. it's just that the closeted homosexual theory seems to have more evidence pointing towards#it)#so because of that there's more than just will and mike to consider#el needs proper closure and understanding of the situation#and mike needs to confront that maybe he's never liked girls and that he can love el and it doesn't need to be romantic#and i also need to throw in will subtly coming out because mike was prodding into the idea of him having a crush on someone ELSE (gasp!#shock! horror!)#and guessed max of all people just cause she was the only girl in hawkins he could think of. and like he's just a fucking idiot huh#and then he thinks oh yeah maybe will likes boys and he's so fucking stupid that he can't see what's right in front of his face#even when will is like uhhh no?? i don't like lucas like that u idiot?? but would it be a problem if i like boys?#and mike is like oh fuck is that an option while in his head. and saying no that'd he great. cause he's so fucking gay#and he's just so dumb. he's a mess. i'd love to study him. i mean i am technically. isn't that what writing a fic from mike's pov is about#sorry for the rant my brain hasn't shut up for over a week#and then after all of this i'm gonna have to keep going huh#i'm gonna have to vecna SOMEONE#what is this gonna be??? like a 10K one-shot??? PANDA???#if i never finish this i'm literally gonna be so mad
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chloecherrysip · 11 months
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I'm in a new Going To The Movies By Myself And Having The Best Time Ever era over the past couple of months, and I gotta say, it's pretty wonderful. :)
On a related note, here's a spoiler-free review of Across the Spiderverse
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bunn-iiii · 10 months
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i kinda don't want to go back to camp but some of my stuff is still there
#so basically i have to go home every weekend (go home Friday after lunch go back sunday after lunch)#which means i have to go back tomorrow#and all i want to do is talk to the silly people on my phone and not be extremely misgendered and unable to correct people#cause telling campers my pronouns isn't camp appropriate.#sometimes this camp makes me want to die a little#but i already paid for the three weeks and i don't want to just waste that money#and i have some fun#but it kinda sucks to be there without my phone and it's hot out and i get misgendered and asked why i have a cane and told to get over my#meltdowns by another C.I.T amd there's never ang silemce except when I'm sleeping and the food isn't great and my schedule has to completely#change for it and i have to go to bed early and i have to stand the sun to lead songs and I'm almost always moving or standing and everyone#is loud all the time and singing during meal times is hell cause the lodge echoes so it's just really loud and i cried 4 times last week and#had about 2-3 meltdowns in five days#and I'm exhausted from it and i can't do what i used to love doing at that camp because it causes me so much pain#and no other person at the camp has mobility issues besides the 70 uear old CIT director that very obviously doesn't fully believe i need my#cane or to sit down frequently or take breaks#so yeah I'm a bit overwhelmed#not to mention i don't even know if i want to be a counselor at that camp anymore because of the whole pronouns thing#the media director said i might be able to join the media team they want to put together#and i really love this camp cause I've been going to it for so fuckin long and I've wanted to be a counselor here since my first week as a#camper#but it's all a lot#and i don't know if i should take a stand and be like “nope I'm not gonna let you treat me like this you just lost a future employee” or#just suck it up?#i hate breaking promises i made to myself in the past#and i told myself i was gonna be a counselor here no matter what#but i just dont know if i can take all that bs all summer every summer#ugh#tw vent
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custer-mp3 · 2 years
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might fuck around and make some decaf idk
anyway just saw a line of fifty-dollar plain greige shirts marketed to trans ppl that were so fucking joyless i want to gouge my eyes out lmaoooo. truly 20-y.o. me did not foresee this potential monkeys paw when begging the universe for clothing options specifically for People Like Us. sorry for possibly in any way speaking this into existence along with the accompanying hundred-dollar pants that only come in a 28 inseam & eighty-dollar FITTED dysphoria hoodies lmao i'll go crawl in my fucking hole now
#PROOF I EXIST IG#been a rough week tbh i had such a good show tho like#i will be huffing those vibes for weeks#ANYWAY TRANS CLOTHING IS ANY CLOTHING U WANT TO WEAR TBH#SURPRISE!!!!! IF YOU'RE TRANS......SO ARE YOUR CLOTHES#overpriced assimilationist-yet-othered bullshit is actually antithetical to the trans experience & one of my deepest regrets is how much my#old zines are simmered in that kind of vibe cuz that's WHAT WAS OUT THERE when i was looking for answers I DIDN'T HAVE A BETTER PARADIGM#i wouldn't scrap the whole work over it like they are still valuable as a historical snapshot & ppl still find value in the human element#of them but like. when i go to re-bookify them again so i can stop making photocopies. We Are Adding More Content.#because the truly amazing part is in how much everything around me's changed while the actual core of myself has only gotten sharper#stronger#weirder#reading them now for me is seeing the assimilationist-yet-othered shit & being able to see how desperate i was for community/understanding#/acceptance/An Easier Time Of Life & now i'm just. i don't want to say my heart has hardened but y'know. I'VE FIGURED OUT HOW TO NAVIGATE#GREAT SWATHS OF THE ADULT WORLD I WAS ONLY BLINDLY SWIMMING IN 11 YRS AGO#AND GO FIGURE. AS THAT'S HAPPENED. I'VE WATCHED THE WHOLE WORLD AROUND ME SHIFT. CUZ WE'RE ALL JUST ORGANISMS IN AN ECOSYSTEM#so y'know. when ur relating to the world from a different spot in the ecosystem. obvs that affects your paradigm. lmao
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busaikuknee · 1 year
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hmmmm
#this is me working through my thoughts so please don't take this as any kind of thesis or declaration#but watching this week's roh taping back#i've been thinking about the number of narratives about young talent and mentors in the wrestling i consume atm#i love stories about mentors and proteges! i think they're great and i think wrestling is a great medium to tell those stories#but i feel that a lot of the ones i'm seeing rn sort of impede the younger talents' ability to stand on their own#like a lot of yuta's recent promos have been “i'm in the same faction as three cool guys you already like!”#and i like the blackpool combat club! but that's not why i like wheeler yuta.#i like wheeler yuta because of his tenacity and willingness to overcome and ability to get a little silly with it on an occasion#the ties to the rest of his stable are important but i feel like only focusing on them is a detriment#sell me on the new guy. you don't need to sell me on three legends.#feel kind of the same way about umino rn but he's still only come back from excursion recently. there's still time to build stuff up#i think that's why i've liked the stuff going on with narita recently?#like his whole thing might be Being Shibata 2.0#but his current narrative has been about contending with the weight and potential consequences of taking that mantle#idk. it's good to have ties to other wrestlers and the history of your promotion but that can't be your whole character#who are you in isolation? what do you value? what do you crave? what can't you let yourself have?
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chloeseyeliner · 16 days
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and here i thought miscommunication trope was never going to happen irl again and stay in fanfiction forever.
i was so wrong.
#like girl i am twenty by 2.5-3 days. i cannot keep doing this middle school stuff. i am sorry.#vent post#kind of??#haven't made one of these in a while#oversharing on the internet#once again#anyway#long story short#we were almost great friends exactly a week ago okay?#and then nothing happened#and she just. stopped acknowledging my presence????#like i am not playing the victim here i have made many mistakes in the past but as i am growing up i realise how wrong i was#and put effort in being better every day#and like everyone who knows me that well irl knows i am a very sincere person so i would never hide it if i actually hurt her here#i just. it's been such a long time since a person won't even talk to me??? while i am standing next to them??? out of freaking nowhere???#while i am trying to communicate???#like i won't speak with any details but the only words she has uttered directly at me these past seven days were 'bye' with her back-#-facing me today.#and i tried. i really tried. i am tired.#i'll give it another week because i cannot think clearly with all the anxiety surrounding the situation + sciatica (yes i know how?)#my best friend got really mad ngl lol#so i am just venting here because she is the calmest person i know and she was ready to put troy on fire when i told here everything lol-#i don't even know#i mean. we literally study human psychology inter alia at uni girl. please.#and what makes me the saddest is how our other friend is sad regarding the whole situation and she is trying for them both-#-while not knowing what the fuck is going on- not that i do but you know.#and it's all so sad.#*sighs*#i'd rather have her screaming at me if i did something wrong than completely ignoring me and behaving normally around everyone else...#last week we were literally talking of going to the kyoshi movie together. the 2025 MOVIE. i'm shattered.
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foone · 1 year
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I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"
But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.
Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!
I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.
Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.
Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)
And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.
You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.
So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?
My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.
(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)
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