#this is about rammstein in case you were wondering

[rammingthestein]

sorry for thinking that the hot old men in the Hot Old Man™ band are hot :/

#this is about rammstein in case you were wondering #rammstein #mine;

[kendrixtermina]

WTF happened? A compilation of the Evidence so Far and an attempt at a Nuanced Take.

So, the allegations regarding Rammstein.

I’m going to have to talk about them, both because the band has been a part of my life for so long it’s a family running gag, and for my own damn peace of mind.

I first saw it in an internet news article a few days ago.

My first response was to try as best as I could to suspend judgement.

The last thing I want to do is have any irrational loyalty when its ‘my turn’ to listen to reality over any personal attachment I would have.

However, two things can be true at the same time:

a) A lot of abuse goes on in showbiz & victims are often not believed

b) Crazy stories get made up about people whom the media or politcal movements have listed as “enemy” – and that’s been the case for them a long time.

The media responses have been very black & white, with on the one hand the classic cancellation treatment of ending all contracts and basically un-personing them, and on the other hand you got reports of some unsavory fans running the classic ‘they’re just lying for attention’ script.

(Let’s get this one out of the way real fast: That has never once happened ever. No one just “makes shit up for attention”. At the same time, there’s no fandom that doesn’t have a loony fringe.

I’m also not going to insult your intellect with any variant of ‘why didn’t they come forward earlier’ or ‘if it really happened she would have done x’)

The band itself has put out a statement to ‘not harass or prejudge any of the plaintiffs’ and that they ‘have a right to state their view of things’

I would agree with that, at least.

This is not the trump/tate/kavenaugh esque cannet ‘I don’t know that woman’ or instant ‘DARVO defamation’ that you usually see & sounds more like the people I thought I knew, but on the other hand, what was repeated over all the tabloid articles looked like an open shut case. Supposedly there was roofies involved (which proves intent all in itself) and multiple accusers.

One person might make things up, but multiple people usually means it’s real, as it would be unrealistic for them to have coordinated.

So I decided that I was going to go digging through all the articles & posts etc. I could find to form my own opinion of WTF happened, if nothing else for closure. The articles said a lot of the same things, but they were vague. At least, I wanted the gory details.

I’m just going to record my findings so far mostly for my own peace of mind & emotional processing, and for anyone who might be wondering what to think.

I’m just going to go through various different data points in ascending order of severity & perceived credibility.

Keep in mind, this is not a finished opinion, I am really processing out loud, still letting things settle, and waiting for further revelations that could easily change everything.

I want as much as I can to remain open to any new evidence thatmight still pour in.

0. The Music

First let’s get the (albeit mostly irrelevant) elephant out of the way:

Yes, the songs/lyrics depict copious violence that is often sexual in nature, but it’s very much in an ‘fascination with the disturbing’ kind of way that grounds inself in a clear understanding that what’s depicted is, in fact, disturbing. It’s often told from the PoV of the perpetrator but if you analyze the lyrics with basic reading comprehension you’ll see that it’s self-aware about being carnography (that is the overlap between horror, gore and porn) – the perp’s twisted rationalizations will be lampshaded and hints at the victim’s pain strewn in.

It’s like ‘Lolita’ – it’s told from the crazy person’s PoV in their romantic fetishistic detail, but the author wants you to piece together what ‘actually’ happened and strews in hints.

That was supposedly the joy of it, that there was depht to find, interpret & analyze get this ‘delayed-action scare’ from.

It’s self-aware, which actual glorification isn’t – that sounds more like ‘bitch actually wanted it’ or ‘she was asking for it’ rather than ‘no one hears her cry’ or having the perp turn around a picture of Jesus so it doesn’t see his wicked deeds.

So it seems… incongruent, to me, that the person who wrote this doesn’t get that roofie-ing someone is bad.

As an artist myself I of course want to believe that a person’s true soul is reflected and immortalized in their art, but there’s nothing more dangerous than thinking oneself immune to deception, wouldn’t be the first hypocrite.

So I really did have a huge moment of thinking,… “Was it all a lie?” Did this art that I loved and was probably the biggest influence on my writing style just never really exist?

I’d certainly feel disapointed, humbled and betrayed, as if all the jeers of those who gave me the side eye for liking dark content had been confirmed.

Well, the truth doesn’t care what I think, it’s not about me, but the potential victims. So I am going to put all these feelings in a box.

But it’s worth noting that, despite the bombastic stage persona and having starred in hardcore sadomaso porn, Till was always described by everyone who knew him as a shy, polite and intelligent person in his personal life.

Wouldn’t be the first asshole whom everyone thought was “so nice”, but you can’t use the music as an argument for that.

1. The Parties.

That there were parties for potential groupies, I believe at once. It’s corroberated by many reports going years back and the part that everyone agrees on. You’d be stupid not to believe it. It does fit his impulsive, disinhibited character.

However, and I know some here are gonna have different values about this: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that so long as everyone involved was a consenting adult.

A lot of the so-called “dozens” of reports including kayla the youtuber were basically just people realizing it’s a sex thing & getting uncomfortable or offended about the very fact that it was a sex thing & that there were women willingly throwing themselves at Till.

I don#t doubt that they freaked out, got a fright and felt unsafe, but when you filter about the influence of their racing thoughts, uncomfy brain & ‘bad vibes’, most of these situations are pretty much nothingburgers. Full rooms with numerous witnesses were people were just drinking & having fun. Obviously you can’t bring phones to orgies, tat would jeopardize ppl’s privacy.

I’m not saying they were lying about feeling unsafe, but I think we can all think of examples for how feeling safe and being safe are two pairs of shoes.

There were many people who actually were at those parties posting on reddit or getting interviewed on youtube describing great consensual sex and/or just fun atmosphere so IDK how much of their perception of ‘weird atmosphere’ is just projection of their own discomfort.

I’m not saying this because I don’t want to see the truth, this has always been my opinion. I never got people investing great significance in age gaps once everyone is past the ‘adult’ threshold or generally flattening the whole spectrum of human interaction into simple flat power dynamics with an unassailablemaster & mind-controlled slave.

I’ve gone to sex parties; Heck, when I was 20 I got shitfaced & screwed a much older dude and I found both those experiences not only positive but healing.

It bothers me how the entire interiority choice & angency of willing participants is just erased and its just blanket declared that they can’t know what they want. So far, everyone I’ve heard of as being involved was an adult even if they were young, we’re not talking about children and it’s demeaning to act as if they were.

I’m not defending a rich old dude; I’ve little hope of ever being one. I’m defending myself, as someone who has been a young woman, and wound like to have the right to determine what my experiences mean & not have others tell me. I think if someone wants to take advantage of a chance to screw someone they view as extremly desirable and get a piece of some powerful guy using the limited resource of their attractiveness, they should get to. It’s practically animal instinct.

I don’t think inviting someone somewhere to possibly hit on them in harassment; It only becomes harassment if you don’t go away if they say no, or use threat/coersion.

He ‘picked’ the ones he’d actually be interested in but that would only have the sort of character the news are depicting it as if there was then coersion, not just an offer.

In the bulk of the reports he would hit on ppl but immediately accept it & back away if they said no, and the people who reported feeling uncomfortable all left with no problem without being pushed or forced to anything; Everyone was free to leave the ‘suckbox’ at any time.

That, of course,  is the next big question. Did any of that take place. Just because some had a great experience doesn’t mean others can’t have had awful ones.

2. The Shelby & Kayla Stories

So, here I am mostly dissapointed at the media.

There were multiple people on reddit, tumblr, youtube or newspaper (some showing their real life face, or having video of the event) who were on the same party in Vilnius. It’s not just one person claiming something but testimonies acting up

The vodka was opened before the eyes of all the guests and all of them drank from the same bottles

According to her friends, Shelby is on a SSRI medication that can interfere with alcohol & apparently the combination explains all the symptoms she had

She started drinking early & acted quite inebriated (probably due to the meds interference), at one point she bumped into the stage & ran into things – this probably explains the bruise

While there was some smashing of glasses, it was more of a ritual that was often done at  parties, like Till would start smashing his Vodka glass fter finishing it & everyone else would join in.

Shelby left early & wasn��t even there for the last of the party

Even she clearly stated that a) no one touched her b) Till respected it & moved on when she refused his advances c) she saw nothing being done to anyone else while she was there

Most likely conclusion: There was never any roofies, her meds are to blame.

I would presume she woke up the next day, only remembering fragments at first, and panicked. I can’t even blame her. It’s super common for ppl to mistakenly think they might have been spiked after having too much to drink.  

She isn’t ‘lying’, she merely jumped to conclusions, though she could have checked with her friends first before putting it on the internet, I can’t blame her for panicking under the circumstances.

Honestly it’s logical to assume it was the last guy who hit on her.

The is important insofar as it puts a different light on everything that follows when others saw her post & were asked about if anyone had similar experiences.

Ovsly ppl took this seriously & began re-evaluating experiences in the light of that possibility in a low-key mass panic.

This is especially relevant for the casus Kayla – Facebook posts show she had a “good time” at the concert despite noping out of the sex thing (before Till even arrived) but after that I suppose she began to worry if any of the other girls she saw might have been drugged.

3. The Italian Man Story

You know, the super gross one with the big bowl of ‘mysterious cocktails’ and the band members fighting over some girl.

It’s fiction on par with the ‘hilary clinton trafficking ring’.

It’s deliberately engineered to be schocking & trigger your emotions but when you think about it, it doesn’t add up logically. Even if everything else were done & they’re all guilty this probably still didn’t happen because, for starters, if multiple ambulances had been called, the fucking certainly wouldn’t have continued as the paramedics showed up. There would at least have been something about drunken people passing out at a concert.

Also the ‘bowl with mysterious cocktails personally prepared by Till’ looks like a plot hint in a book.

You can’t get accurate dosages by putting into into a bowl and a whole room was drugged at once they couldn’t have walked home.

Plus the ‘italian man’ is too busy presenting himself as a hero rather than describe himself being realistically shocked.

I’m surprised Spiegel printed this, though I suppose any claims are in the public interest.

4. The Anonymous Reports from the Reportage

Now comes the serious part however, because these I believe are 100% true, were compiled by serious journalists,  and probably happened exactly as described – they’re anonymous, so the women have nothing to gain. Plus, the reports sound like authentic memories in exciting or traumatic situations: The order may be jumbled but there are exact details down to what people were thinking or exact words that were said.

There is just no honest reason to assume otherwise.

That said, the snippets of them that were taken out into other articles/tablids were WAY out of context – with an important exception (which I will discuss as its own bullet point), most of the people questioned considered what took place a good experience at the time, told their friends of a ‘good time’, though some had their doubts or regrets later on when the discussions began or friends had different opinions on it.

The person that supposedly had vaginal bleeding actually had some condition that made vaginal intercourse harder but then they ended up doing it anyway apparently at her suggestion – Till is said to have asked several times if it’s ok.

In general there is talk/communication going on in these

While two people did speak of memory gaps or fragmented memories, it seems from the circumstances and the detailled way  things were described that it was just booze.

And it was not, as you might get from the out-of-context quote, some unconscious person being molested on a floor somewhere but rather there was back & forth talking like he was always asking “Is that ok”, “may I do this?” “Should we stop?” etc.

That’s not something you do if you don’t care about the other person, their consent or their enjoyment.

Even so, if the two ended up concluding later that they were probably too drunk & partially weren’t sure what was happening, the sex probably shouldn’t have happened.

He fucked up, no question.

Chances are he was intoxicated, too, but while I have said before that all this supposed ‘power imbalance’ alk doesn’t negate free will, I do think it creates a greater responsibility on his part to ensure their well-being and greater accountability.

Still this rather looks like he misjudged how drunk they were rather than deliberately taking advantage of an unconscious person, the latter is a misrepresentation by the media.

5. THAT one report

Then there is the unambiguous ‘nightmare story’ where there can be no doubt that the girl found it traumatic.

Apparently she clenched up (ostensibly vaginismus) and the whole sex was painful, which she was embarassed to say however, so she just waited for it to be over out of a mix of being stunned and not wanting to lose her one special chance with him.

I think we can all agree that this kind of thing should never happen.

She explicitly says she choose not to say anything, however. – which is NOT to say that its “her own fault” or that she “should have spoken up” but rather, though the damage is the same, there is a different between accident, negligence, manslaughter & murder, degrees of culpability.

In a legal sense it probably wouldn’t count as rape (that requires ‘visible refusal’) but it certainly wasn’t enthusiastic consent either. But this is kind of exactly why education is so important because besides fight & flight there ARE those fawn & freeze responses & if you’re not attentive enough you could  trigger your partner into ‘just putting up with it’ without meaning to /realizing. People don’t notice their gf’s saying nothing about painful sex all the time there were tons of articles about it not too long ago.

Whatever you want to label it she had a shitty, possibly damaging experience that could have been prevented, and that would have been his responsibility to avoid.

So no, he did not ‘do nothing wrong’ The onus was on him, especially as someone active in the BDSM scene he should know the important of safewords, commination & aftercare.

He fucked up, the whole enterprise should have been sanity checked because even if some vibed with it & had a good time, you just shouldn’t ever be triggering people’s fight-or-flight responses in a bedroom situation.  There shouldn’t even be a risk of that because if there is there might be people like this girl or the two too-drunk ones.

Ultimately, though, this is still night and day compared to the story going through the media right now with the roofies.

There’s a big difference from someone who thinks others wellbeing doesn’t matter than one who think it does but fucked up.

But ultimately this goes further than Till as a person. This isnt even really about him. 

It’s more like – no one wants this. I don’t think he wanted this. But how do we as a society deal with it?

Because I think it’s very important that those girls should be able to talk about their experiences. Feedback should be given and socuety should be percolated by an understanding that this is not ok.

At the same time, at present we only seem to have the options of exhonoration or ostracism – which creates an incentive to DARVO and victim-blame to avoid the total destruction of ostracism in a population that is usually low on scruples.

With cases like trump or tate, the issue is clear: Those don’t think they’re doing anything wrong eyond lipservice & will just keep doing it again & again; Complete ostracism, unpersoning & refusal to ever platform them again really is the only answer, there is no reflection, talking sense or expecting behavior changes from those.

But what about situations where you have someone who nominally believes in consent but fails to apply it & walks away thinking the situation was mutually enjoyable? IT’s kind of like the Melanie Martizez case. More ambiguous, really, because she was reported even by consenting partners to be rather pushy whereas here we have someone who ostensibly has a habit of asking ‘is this ok’ ‘may I do that’, ‘are you ok’ etc but did it a few times too few.

Someone who fucked up but didn’t want to. What do we do with these? Whenever anyone brings up the possibility of ‘misreading signals’ or something it’s told off as an excuse but it’s a genuine worry people have.

The closest conceot we have for that is maybe what you do if someone had a stronger reaction to or felt triggered by some BSDM thing & that needs to be talked out & corrected but in that case theres a more direct feedback loop…

One thing is clear: We can’t have situations where ppl feel triggered or unsafe or have bad experiences like this.

Apparently consequences have already been drawn and the parties things in cancelled forever anyways & everyone involved got a wakeup call. (as per Christoph’s recent post which more or less reflects similar conclusions to my analysis here – and I am still holding out on forming conclusions, really, but what I heard there at least sounds like the intelligent, differentiated people I thought I knew, though I’m not ready to remove that ‘thought’ yet )

I mean, the band themselves is lying in the bed they made but I’m feeling sorry for, well, the victims of course, but also loyal fans who may forgive what actually happened but everyone around them thinks the tabloid version took place. (which if it were true would have been burn-in-hell territory)

Sigh. The world is complicated and exhausting and human beings hurt each other so much all the time for stupid reasons and we can never ever have nice things.

#rammstein #till lindemann #rammstein scandal #row zero

[fayn3ko]

lmao your posts about how awful Till is and how we need to believe all women certainly aged well. i hope if you ever try to get back into the fandom they tell fair-weather fans like you to suck shit :>

People like you, and those on twitter who say exactly the same stuff and even make fun of topics like rape, SA etc are what make me feel ashamed to be connected with as a (former) Rammstein fan.

Did you really think anything would come out of this? You don't need to study law to know that it is hardly possible to proof anything in these cases, some really long ago. It is not even that any of the victims sued him. I wonder if you even understand what actually was/is going on.

This all is not about Till being some evil criminal who will definitely go into prison. If you think that it is absolutely fine that a 47 year old man had a sexual relationship with a 15 year old, basically a child, you can't be helped. It is not against the laws, no, because there were 'real feelings of love'. Basically none of the things Till did or does are really against the law, more like in a grey zone. The whole row zero system, the pressure the (young) girls were put into because they thought they could join a backstage party with all members, all the girls waking up next to members and not remembering anything.

I simply think that he is a massive asshole, he does certainly not respect women the way I thought for a long time or the fandom portrays. He is abusing his power as a man, as someone who is famous and idolized by many people and it's no problem because he is a 'rockstar'. I love Rammstein's music and I want to believe them, but I don't put strangers over my moral beliefs. Most people in the fandom seem to lack even critical thinking, because, no way that our teddybear and his family - who act as one right know but clearly said they are very distant to him by now - could do anything wrong!

It's funny to me that you believe I would give a damn what that fandom thinks of me or that I would try to go back into that pit.

#rammstein

[herrlindemann]

WOM - November 2005, Interview with Schneider

Only a year after their successful album 'Reise, Reise', Germany's last romantics are back. WOM Magazine spoke to drummer Christoph Schneider about Rammstein's new work 'Rosenrot'.

The lyrics to the title song 'Rosenrot' sound like a best-of from Grimm's 'Schneeweißchen und Rosenrot' and Goethe's 'Heidenröslein'. An album between fairy tale hour and high culture?

It's hard for me to answer that with yes or no. Of course, Till's poetry always borrows from fairy tales, in this old language and words that are no longer part of colloquial language. That's his way of writing.

'Schneeweißchen und Rosenrot' is a story about love. In the face of so much anger and aggression, do you have room for love?

Sure, that's also represented, as always with Rammstein. We've always had a romantic side. There's a song or two on every album where that comes into play. I find that on 'Rosenrot' the romance increasingly shines through. And I'm very happy about that too. You continue to develop. We're not as angry as we were ten years ago. Occasionally you have to listen to what is happening now.

What is now?

We are all ten years older than Herzeleid. You no longer only have this destructive, aggressive potential, but there are also other sides, facets.

With all due respect: You just recorded a track called ‘Zerstören’, it's about 'saw up, dismantle, injure, shred, rip, smash' - as a symbol for aggression out of frustration because of disappointed love.

Yes, that's often the case. If you are not loved, you have to draw attention to yourself in other ways.

One of the most controversial tracks on the album is undoubtedly 'Mann gegen Mann'. It says: 'Not a link is missing in my chain / When lust pulls from behind / My sex calls me a traitor / I am every father's nightmare'. Where does the desire for homoerotic fantasies come from?

In their story, Rammstein have already written, set to music and illustrated all possible variants of love. 'Mann gegen Mann' describes a side of love that we haven't explored yet. There is some homosexual potential in every human being. It remains to be seen to what extent this will come into play or become a philosophy of life. In any case, it seemed so interesting to Till that he wanted to write a text about it. As a band, we found it difficult to face such a topic as a 'macho band', so to speak. Some might be wondering: are they gay after all, or what?

Or homophobic? The way you yell out the word 'gay' in the chorus doesn't exactly sound like the song will be the anthem of the next CSD.

We were tempted to associate the supposed swear word 'gay' with heavy music. But you can tell in the text that we don't use that as a swear word, but in a different way of dealing with the topic — as a very idiosyncratic way of illuminating the topic.

Does your keyboarder Flake have to fear the worst at the stage show again? (Flake is partially penetrated with a strap-on in the song 'Bück dich'.)

(Laughs) Yes, but Flake is ready for anything anyway! Interesting to think about what visual rendition would go with the song!

It is said that the songs from 'Rosenrot' are leftovers from the last session of 'Reise, Reise'.

'Rosenrot' is also partly a follow-up album to 'Reise, Reise'. Half of the songs were created during those recordings. But at that time we couldn't fit all the titles on 'Reise, Reise' because they were too close together in terms of content and we detest albums that are too long. That's why the idea came up to record a follow-up album right after our tour.

The new album receives a lot of advance praise. What do you think is the reason for this?

‘Reise, Reise’ was a departure for us. It was colourful, had many different elements and you could see that Rammstein wanted to move. They want to go somewhere else. We realized that we couldn't find anything new in our style. Hence the change. 'Rosenrot' has become very versatile, it is very polarizing. There are extremely hard pieces and extremely soft songs. For me this album is a quest for what Rammstein can be in the future. It's hard for me to say that we've reinvented ourselves.

If 'Reise, Reise' was an album of departure, where did you arrive with 'Rosenrot'?

For me, 'Rosenrot' is not actually an arrival. It's the end of a chapter. But it also opens doors that we can go through. In any case, 'Rosenrot' has brought back a lot of energy that we haven't had for a long time.

#Rammstein #Christoph Schneider #Till Lindemann #Flake #Oliver Riedel #Paul Landers #Richard Kruspe #translation #*scans #2005 #*

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

I'm opening this up again so I can understand. This latest announcement, does this mean that the article about 'a band member's daughter' is fake or exaggerated? I liked what you said about this when it all came out. I think though if it's a bandmembers daughter I am not sure how everyone would react to that. I can't picture any of them brushing it off, we all know who has daughters.

Why would the daughter of someone in the band go to a newspaper when none of them have ever approached the press before? That article to me seems so far-fetched and grasping at rumors. The press is casting a wide net and reeling in whatever tiny tidbit they can then making something more of it.

hi anon 🌺

No, the latest announcement says nothing about the 'bandmate's daughter's best friend' article.

we're on legal turf now, and this is all about details that the average person would gloss over, but that's how it is conducted.

The latest ruling is about 4 specific cases on 4 specific phrases in 4 specific articles by 4 different media. So not even about the articles as a whole, but about specific bits in them.

Take the '5 other Rammstein members' and 'the party in Berlin' (which must have been the party at the Kit Kat club, because that was the party that was reported about quoting an employee of that club); i'll take this one, because nothing actually illegal is contested here, the club is perfectly legal and going there is as well.

What the case is, is that the 5 other Rammstein members stated this "The applicants have stated that, contrary to the description in the article, they have not visited the club alone or together with Till Lindemann. The Respondent had the opportunity to comment, but did not comment on the application. "

And that was granted. So it is not about if Till visited the club on that day, but whether the others members were there as well, either by themselves, or with Till. It's just about that specific detail.

---

We don't know in detail if the 'best friend' article is contested by Till's lawyers, if it is, the case is still ongoing. If it is really completely bogus, it would be a pretty easy case, but reality is that it may not be completely bogus. Ofcourse one could wonder if the 'best friend' exists, why go to the media and not have mutual friends arrange a session to clear the air. But vice versa: if the best friend does exist, and maybe there is a grain of truth in the story, does one want to filet the article to have specific parts contested? Because that would also mean the other parts that are not contested will still stand..

In general, or in my personal case where nothing happened. Right now i think back with some fondness to the situation, but if it turned out the guy did indeed go to far with others (or for instance underage persons), would dismiss or deny the situation, or made disparaging remarks about women in general...that would totally change my view of the situation.. so hypothetically i can follow the thoughtproces there..

---

why the German press all of a sudden is so interested in Rammstein is maybe my biggest questionmark in all this. They basically ignored the band for years, i think in 2022 (may have been 2019) when Rammstein went on worldtour, fellow Berlin band Die Ärzte did a Germany tour, and Die Ärzte were everywhere in the media for a short while. Don't get me wrong, i like that band, and they are friends with Rammstein, going to eachother's shows and such, but they have a much smaller following globally than Rammstein...

Interestingly, at the moment some German media have actually changed tune and first speculated on "Rammstein guitarist hints at end of band" (Thank you Richard for that Kruspe-caption) and are now reporting on Rammstein going on world tour in 2024 (a rumour originating from Rammmexicanos i think, who are often well informed, but also a bit over excited at times, not everything they said in the past actually happens) (not even going into the fact that some fans say 'Rammstein' and mean 'Till and his band')

But as in all countries 'the media' is actually very varied with regards to reliability and gossip-level, so like the allegations, we'll take this with a grain of salt until facts are there to support it 🌺

#rammstein allegations

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #073

If the last female you talked to told you that she was pregnant, what would you say to her? My mom had a complete hysterectomy so that's literally impossible. If the last male you talked to told you that he was going to be a father, what would you say to him? Well I'm sure as hell not pregnant so that means he cheated, in which case I'd break up with him in a heartbeat. Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day? No, not really. The last time you were in a car, who was driving? My mom. What’s the shortest song you have on your iPod? It's probably some Silent Hill track, or a Shadow of the Colossus one.

How did you meet the last person that messaged you on Facebook? Back in the old YouTube days where it had more social aspects. Have you ever had a friend whose parents you didn’t like? Yep. If you were told that you were going to spend the rest of your life with the last person you kissed, would that make you happy? I'd be fucking ecstatic, honestly. Have you ever had carpal tunnel? Oh, I definitely have something. It oddly doesn't really manifest when typing, though; instead, I absolutely cannot physically write for very long. What browser do you use? Chrome. How much was your allowance when you were a kid? I didn't get one. Do you often find yourself eating just because you're bored? Not so much anymore, but I do occasionally struggle with that. Have you ever sent an anon hate message, be honest now. Nope. That is, first of all, unnecessary and rude, and secondly, it's also cowardly. Biggest fear, pick ONE. Ending up living alone in the streets. I worry a lot it'll happen after Mom dies. What's the grossest thing that dogs do? Ugh the fact some have a thing for eating cat shit. I CANNOT handle that. If you’re a girl, what’s your favorite color of eyeliner? Oh wow, I had no idea eyeliner was exclusive to females. But whatever, I only ever wear black. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yep. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Hmmm... first off, definitely a Pokemon, but it's super hard to pick exactly what! I think I'd go with Vaporeon because I LOVE to Eeveelutions and it'd be useful to have one that had water-oriented powers, too. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like those Starburst ones. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a grocery store? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO once upon a time I found basically fursuit heads in one of those big baskets in Wal-Mart and I lost it. 😭 Have you ever met any bands/band members before? NO but I absolutely wanna go to a Rammstein meet and greet at some point. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Logan really sticks with me. That was one that made me cry. Do you struggle with acne? Nah, my acne problems chilled out a lot when I was like... 19? Around there? What was the last song you downloaded onto your computer? Oh god idk, I did a MASSIVE downloading sesh a couple days ago for my iPod. What color are your headphones, if you have any? My current earbuds are blue. I FLY through earbuds, one side always stops working. Where do you normally get your hair cut? I see a family friend and have since like... middle school? Maybe even before then. Will you go to your high school reunion? Nooooope. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I HAVE one on my collarbone, so. I want to get it covered with something new, so I'll obviously do it again. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yep. Have you ever cussed someone out? I can't remember if I actually cursed, but I can tell you I told OFF my sister's abusive then-boyfriend. Fucking coward just stared at me like he was wondering what the hell he did. He was a fucking manipulative narcissist. How would you feel if a significant other asked you to make your relationship "open" as in, see other people but still stay together? What would you tell them? Quite honestly, I would immediately break up with them. That to me is a clear sign that I'm not enough for them. I hold no moral distaste for polygamy for others, but it is NOT for me, and my partner being interested in it is no okay to me. When you were younger, did you mother or father ever let you open a few presents before Christmas or your birthday even arrived? As kids it was a tradition to let us open one, "minor" gift on Christmas Eve. How many break ups have you had to go through? How many of those break ups were with the same person? I've only had one breakup that REALLY felt like a "breakup." Do you plan on traveling a lot in your lifetime? What about moving around a lot? Will this be from state to state, country to country, or what? Traveling, god, I HOPE so. I don't want to move around a lot, though. How old where you when you had your first pet? What kind of animal was it? What was its name? My first PERSONAL pet was honestly too young; I can't remember if it was my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow, but I was certainly too young to properly care for either. It still amazes me that Shadow lived his/her full life expectancy, they were stunted in growth and I'm certain the humidity wasn't as sustained as it was meant to be. When taking a survey, do you typically read the person’s answers before typing in your own? Or do you just erase them without reading them? I always read my friends' answers. Do you like “just girly things” on Pinterest? Lol no, I literally use Pinterest for fandom pictures. 😭 How many different natural hair colors are there in your immediate family? Mostly brown, but also black. What is your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Are there any Asians in your family? No. Do you take birth control pills? Yes. My periods are unbearable otherwise. What’s your favorite frosting flavor? Chocolate, I guess? Have you ever called a suicide hotline? Yes, but they were busy at that time so I didn't get to actually talk to anyone. Do you enjoy writing in cursive? I write mostly in cursive, yes. What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? It'd be nice to spend some time with Girt actually on Christmas. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Nope. Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Yeah. Do you like quesadillas? Yeah, generally. Whose butt did you last slap? lul I'm pretty positive that was Chelsea, yearssss ago. We used to be real close and she lived with Colleen when I saw her a lot and our friendship was founded on being playfully sexual around each other haha. I eventually got closer to her (and still am today) than Colleen. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? No. Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights? God, I used to love that. I still would, but. Gas ain't cheap. What’s a good book you’d recommend? ESPECIALLY in today's age, I cannot recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood any more than I already do, particularly for those with uteruses. Margaret is SO vividly descriptive and creative in her writing so it's just fun to read, and let's not fucking forget the moral behind it. Have you gone out with someone, then ruined the friendship you had before? I want to say yes, but like... Jason and I weren't "just friends" for very long at all. Like, MAYBE two weeks. It was very, very obvious what was going to happen/where we were going. There was nothing to really go back to, because we STARTED OUT very clearly into each other. Did you sleep alone last night? My cat always sleeps with me. <3 Do you hate when people try to play with your hair? If you're not my boyfriend, I'd feel kinda weird. Last song you heard? "Demons Are A Girl's Best Friend" by Powerwolf is on rn. Other than yours, whose house did you last fall asleep at? My sister's. What is your favourite flavour of Skittles? Red, definitely. Have you ever met a famous political figure? Nope. Who taught you how to ride a bike? My dad. Have you ever lost someone to reckless/drunk driving? I am VERY grateful that I have not. Have you ever fed a wild animal? Yeah; ducks and geese at a local pond, and I used to like making bird feeders out of pinecones and peanut butter and stuff. Have you ever faked sick? Yup. I sure hated school. Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie? I don't like apple pie. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? I'm sure I did both at the only one I've been to. Do you use a comb or brush? I just use a comb. Have you ever been called a coward? What for? Yup. The one time I remember was when Sara created a new deviantART account solely to tell me off and then immediately deleted the account. Apparently THAT isn't cowardly. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? Yeah, I've never understood the considerable percentage of people who don't like bread crust. I mean it's my least favorite part (I eat off the crust first to get it outta the way), but it's still perfectly fine. Have you ever had a vacation where you stayed in a cabin? No, but I really would like to do that one day. What flavour cake you you like most? I really enjoy chocolate lava cake as well as red velvet. Depends on what I'm feelin' at that moment. Are you self-conscious about wearing "short shorts" in the summer? Even when I had a fit body, I wasn't comfortable doing that. Do you see a lot of stray animals around your home? No, but it's funny I get this question now when Girt noticed a stray cat outside our door a couple days back. We don't see that a lot. When you’re being grounded, what is usually taken away from you? It was always computer privileges. What is your most commonly used nickname for your best friend? Well, technically "Girt." Everyone else in his life either calls him Donald or Junior. How tall is the last person you kissed? Exactly 6'. Do you enjoy dried fruit? NO. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? My boyfriend's. Who in your house smokes? Nobody. Who wears glasses in your house? Are they near-sighted or far-sighted? I always do; I'm near-sighted. My mom has reading glasses and is far-sighted. What kind of hot beverage do you drink the most? Hot chocolate. What kind of plants do you have in your house? How often are they watered? Mom actually has some succulents in this spare room by the window. That's all I know. Who in your family has the longest hair? How long is yours? My younger sister Nicole; she has a mane, ha ha. Mine is like, boy-short; it doesn't even touch the back of my neck since I got it trimmed. The last time you went out, what shoes did you wear? Flipflops... like always. What books (if any) have you read more than once? Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari (BUT I skipped Tim's outrageously long tangents that had nothing to do with the meerkats in later reads) and Because of Winn-Dixie. There MAY be others, but it's quite unlikely; I've never been much of a re-reader except as a little kid with children's books, obvs. What professional teams do you and/or your family root for? My dad is into the Carolina Hurricanes, Carolina Panthers, and Cleveland Browns. Ryder likes the last two too because of Grampa, ha ha. Maybe Nick likes them too, idr. How many pillows are on the bed you sleep in? I have two on my side and I keep Girt's two there too. Do you know any TV shows’ theme songs by heart? Which ones? Ha ha quite a lot honestly when you consider how little I watch TV, like That '70s Show, The Golden Girls, Supernatural (I loved "Carry On My Wayward Son" way before the show), OBVIOUSLY shit like Spongebob ha ha, and I KNOW there are more, but I'm blanking. What is a fashion trend (new or old) that you absolutely hate? Crocs. They're just ugly. What is the oldest gaming system you’ve ever played? An Atari, actually. We might still have that thing somewhere...

#survey #surveys #random questions #random surveys

[endlich-allein]

Promo "Reise Reise" (2004), Richard Z. Kruspe — Interview by Olivier Rouhet, 11-08-2004 (Rock Hard #036)

Rock Hard : The last time we saw each other in Paris, we didn't talk too much about music since you wanted to confide at length on the internal problems that Rammstein had encountered...

Richard Z. Kruspe : Yes, I remember that interview very well. I found it very intense because it was the first time that I wanted to speak so openly to journalists about these internal problems. Besides, have you seen the Metallica movie (Editor's note: Some Kind Of Monster) ?

RH : Have you considered using a group therapist, like Metallica did ?

RZK : I did think about it, but we were lucky to be able to get by on our own, without asking anyone for help, except that of our manager who is above all a friend.

© Frédéric Batier — Völkerball

RH : Okay, let's get started on the new album... In this case, on the new iconography of the band... You have just taken a series of strange photos that recall, in their aesthetics, the film Free Fall with Michael Douglas...

RZK : It is indeed this film that served as our inspiration ! We thought it was a good way to make a clean sweep of our past image, as these photos had nothing to do with how the band was portrayed in its early days. I was a little reluctant on this concept and I found these photos ugly but, placed in context, and taking into account the film, I am ultimately very satisfied. On the other hand, I do not yet know if they will constitute the main axis of the artwork of Reise, Reise. Last week, in fact, we shot the music video for our next single, "Amerika": we put ourselves on stage giving a concert on the Moon. It's a nod to the invasion of Americans that we talk about in the song, and, at the same time, it fits well with the idea of ​​travel that a title like Reise, Reise involves. The problem with the photos taken is that we are not sure that we like them : we entrusted their realization to a Spanish photographer, he took very arty shots, but, um, we wonder because they do not correspond not quite what we expected.

RH : Is it true that at the beginning the single “Mein Teil” was only intended for the German market ?

RZK : No, that's wrong, we always think internationally... (Pause) But no, I'm talking bullshit, you're absolutely right ! We only wanted to release this single in German-speaking countries, but it was our English record company that blew up and asked us to do an international version. This request surprised us, especially from England ! Especially since my conviction is that the singles market no longer exists anywhere, with the exception of Germany, perhaps. This is why, in the first place, we only wanted to distribute “Mein Teil” in Germany.

RH : The video for "Mein Teil" was censored on German channels. Is it because of his images or his words ?

RZK : In fact, it is not censored, but it cannot be broadcast before 11:00 p.m. And that's because of the pictures. In Germany, there is a big problem with regard to sexuality on TV, They do not enjoy the sequence where Till gets sucked by an angel that he devours afterwards. So we fired this passage, but that doesn't shock us because it's an incidental shot, not the essence of the video.

© Mein Teil behind the scenes

#rockhard magazine special rammstein 2021 #rammstein in press #rammstein interview #rammstein #mein teil #till lindemann #richard kruspe #paul landers #christoph schneider #oliver riedel #flake lorenz #richard z kruspe

[theelliottsmiths]

do you feel like talking about tillchard? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 not necessarely in a shippy way, just,,, how their relationship functions and why,,,, how they made it work for so long even tho they're so different,,,, i'm trying to write them but i'm in a bit of a block and i feel like you can word things so well and hopefully it will make me able to string words together again 🥺🥺 have a good day in any case 🥺🥺

Okay we have to ease into this my brain needs to warm up to switch tracks so I'm just gonna

Disclaimer: this is mostly conjecture and inference, take it with a full handful of salt.

I feel like whether or not they're all that different is up for debate? Maybe in terms of interests and conflict management skills, but the fundamentals seem pretty similar. I'd argue that's usually the basis for long, intense friendships: your core structures are the same but there's enough difference further out towards the surface that it stays a little spicy.

For a start, they both had rough home lives, though to different extents and in different ways, and I think that's one of those things that really helps people bond deeply (especially as young adults). Finding someone who understands what you've experienced can be difficult, not even accounting for the fact that they didnt have the internet to seek others out and kind of met by chance.

For Richard, who learned from a fairly early age it was him against everything and everyone else, and Till, who at that time had gone through some interpersonal shit with the people he worked with before leaving to move in with his dad and then also the stuff with his dad, it must have been almost... Shocking? to meet someone they could click with and depend on. It doesn't sound like they had that before, but nobody really has asked them. On top of that is all kinds of other trauma and the mental health issues (depression, addiction, anxiety etc) that they can at least to some degree understand in each other. I have no idea how long it took for their friendship to get that intense or any of that more specific stuff, but I honestly don't think that matters: They understand each other at a pretty fundamental level now. Sometimes I think about how Till believes in karma and Richard believes in fate and I just... Yeah.

They have very different feelings and reactions when it comes to disagreements (Till hates conflict and will try to placate people or just do what they want completely, Richard prefers a good cathartic argument) and I can absolutely see them having a hard time with that, especially when they lived together for a while. Whether they have much to fight over besides silly friend/bandmate/brother things remains to be seen.

They're also both very driven and creative almost to a fault? Though Till seems a lot better at switching off and leaving that headspace, whereas Richard doesn't seem like he'd be able to even of he wanted to, which I don't think he does. If one is lost in their work the other will understand. I wonder whether they try to offer support, given how much emotion they both channel into it, or if that's not something either of them would want.

They feed into each others creativity so nicely too. They use that to their complete advantage and honestly just... Can you imagine Rammstein if they didn't go to each other with their ideas first? I think they need each others encouragement before they face the more critical members of the band: the support of a single person can make so much difference.

When the Mutter Situation was in progress Till was the only one in Richards side, though I doubt he inserted himself into many arguments because he's allergic to shouting. I with my whole heart believe that Richard would have tried to leave Rammstein if it wasn't for Till. He'd already thought about it, in particular at times when they were struggling financially. Without that tether would he have gone back willingly? I'm not so sure. He loved them and they were still friends outside of the work, but I don't know that the work with them would feel worth it. Complete conjecture.

Theyll have inevitably drifted in and out of their friendship over the years, which I know a lot of us (especially those of is in our teens and twenties) hate the idea of because we have not experienced 30-year adult friendships and therefore it feels Risky, but actually thats pretty fine. It seems like at some point Richard wasn't happy with the gap and he made efforts to change it, which says so much about him and them. No idea if it worked, but it (along with the stuff with the other guys) shows he's willing to work against his whole lone wolf thing. Again, that man will fight. I'm sure Till was receptive.

I also really do think the other guys being there and them all forming the band was vital. Yes, it did eventually mean their friendship morphed into something more like brothers and colleagues than friends, but again, Let's Go. "Sometimes people need to be reminded". Having those shared friends/bandmates—as well as Khira li, come to think of it— meant that two men who seem fairly prone to cutting themselves off from everyone else didn't have the choice to completely grow apart. It means they had even more shared experiences and had no choice but to be physically together for long stretches of time.

Related to the mutter thing, I do wonder sometimes how Till is when it comes to Richards drug addiction. He's not exactly a fan of the therapy (did it hurt Richard when Till said therapy makes people egotistical, what with him praising it so highly himself?) and still does drugs and binge drinks. How safe is he to be around if Richard is in a bad spot? Presumably Till isn't like that when he's not in work mode, so hanging out one in one or with family/the other boys is probably okay, but in tour? Well, maybe that's why Paul looks after him on stage like that.

Yeah. They're sweet boys and I'm glad they met each other, both because of the band and because they were clearly good for each other. Regardless of any of the negative stuff I just said they love each other. So. Fucking. Much.

Okay so looking back upon this I do not know if I did what you asked. Uh. Shit. Distraction:

#ive been trying to hard not to start with the autism/adhd thing im trying so hard to shush #rammstein #me rambling #till lindemann #richard zk #basically an essay #friends

[struwwelzeter]

So I read your reply to Nyarisu's comment on Lionheart and I'm really intrigued by your comments about how people understand punk compared to what it was initially. Could I possibly ask you to expand on this? Pretty please?

Yes you could! This is a very (very?) personal point of view and I know a lot of people will disagree, but here goes nothing, I guess. If you disagree with me (and somebody will), that’s fine, but I will not engage with anything that’s not a constructively put argument. I’ve spend too much time thinking about this for a “I don’t like what you’re saying and that’s why you’re wrong” anon to change my mind. Just putting that out there - with love 💜.

The thing is, especially on tumblr but I think just in generally aswell, the idea of punk is presented as this ... Robin Hood kind of thing. Beat the system, stand up to bullies, live your own truth, all of that, but it always is presented as something that is supposed to come from a ... dare I say, nice place? Like those pictures of people in studded and sprayed leather jackets rescuing puppies. All of that, you know? And I don’t want to say that is wrong, because it isn’t, and I love the idea of that, it’s just not the entire truth.

Especially in the early to mid 70s, when arguably punk started, there was a lot of fatigue between an old and stuffy establishment and the lovey, dovey peace and love “let’s all be happy” movement of the hippie scene. I was at Force Attack in 2006, which is a punk festival (and possibly dirtiest place in the world) that got established in the early 90s and went on til 2008 (?), and even then some of the “death to hippies” sentiments ran pretty deep. And I know the counter argument to that will be a well meaning “well, that’s not real punk,” the problem is that I think it actually partly is. (Please keep the partly in mind for the rest of this argument.)

The problem with having the exact choice between “get a good job, built a nice house, think of what the neighbours will say, and don’t ask me about what I did in the war” and “we’re all a big part of one human family, and isn’t nature beautiful, lets all make peace, and btw we would have never done what our parents did” is that both models aren’t a sustainable life style for everyone. That’s why you get alot of people saying this is all fake bullshit, and they start being purposely offensive. This is why you get alot of Swastikas around the sex pistols, you get all these artists singing about suicide and incest and rape. It’s not that uncommon for some of those early acts to play with Nazi imagery, or claim that homosexuality is disgusting (despite the scene always being full of LGBTQ+ people), or idk, thinking it’s fun to piss on someone while they’re asleep. It’s alot of outcry, of saying life actually is this shitty and disgusting and I am gonna be that because in a way you will hate me either way. And it’s not always nice. Disdain and hate and petty selfishness are common human emotions and many of them are low and unhealthy, and honestly not nice or helpful or inclusive, but they are there, and I think alot of that early spirit was just about stopping to pretend that they don’t exist.

I think a reason for why we don’t think of the scene that way anymore is that many people very quickly outgrew that, and said “actually, we’re better than that, that’s not who we actually are. I sadly can’t find that interview right now, but Die Ärzte are actually a good exemple of that and they even admit it themselves, that there was a sense of “enough with the happy hippie bullshit, let’s disgust them” and then later going “uhmm - maybe that went a bit far.” I mean offensive or not, but ultimately a scene that is centered around artistic expression always ends with that question of creation, maybe like “if the world isn’t like what we want it to be, how do we make one we like?” - and then you end up with having to come up with answers that are more than just destruction. And then it turns into something else - something that I think is alot more like what tumblr seems to think punk is. And that’s a wonderful thing. Still - a side of punk, whatever that is, has always been what people like GG Allin (please read the wiki for context) have taken and pushed to the limits, and it just - isn’t nice. And here is where things get a bit tricky.

Because against that backdrop, things like John Lydon (Johnny Rotten) suddenly being a dirty old Trump supporter aren’t that surprising anymore. And then you get these 20 year olds “cancelling” the Sex Pistols, and I think there is just a bit of ... missing the point going on. I’ve read a comment on here recently, that basically said something like Richard should stop supporting the Sex Pistols (because he has that album in the back of the studio), and it’s just ... asking for a history to be erased that has rightfully been made obsolete but has still happened and was necessary at the time. You can take any of these early bands and pick their lyrics apart and find something that from our perspective now is disgusting, mean, exclusive, or outright racist. Songs about Fucking? Part of that record is a mysogynisy shitshow, something they were very aware of even at the time, and they still did it anyway because being disgusting was part of the point. The thing is though, the Sex Pistols were hugely influential, and alot of the positive things that grew out of that wouldn’t have been possible if kids like young Richard, or any of the bands you love that were influenced by them, wouldn’t have gotten that moment of “finally a place where I can put all of my petty hate”. It matters, and just because that moment is overcome, it doesn’t mean it should be forgotten, or stops existing in the people that lived through it.

I understand that the question of how much we should justify things with “it was the time” and how we deal with the result is an ever ongoing debate and their are many good arguments for why maybe we shouldn’t try to defend the wrongs of the past that way, and I want to point out that while I rarely agree on that in the first place (because I understand history as a natural learning curve where people aren’t perfect at the first try and it’s doing a disservice to humans just doing their best, but I digress and that’s a bit of another duscussion), I want to point out that I don’t want to defend anyone, rather I want to say “actually, being that horrible was often calculated, part of the point, and if you don’t like it, just leave it, fight it or debate it, but don’t pretend like it was a “missstep” or just a few black sheep of a scene that was never as nice or perfect as you want it to be.” You don’t get to erase half of a movement simply because you wish it wouldn’t exist the way it does - or well. I guess in this case mostly did - past tense.

The ugliness is part of the story to me, and it’s actually the bigger part of why I love this scene. I don’t need “punk” to define my politics, I need it to soothe my soul, and so did many, I think. The Sex Pistols breaking happened 20 years before my time, but I still feel connected to that world, and in particular the ugly parts of it. I often feel like I look at the world, and there are people that seem honestly shocked by the idea that maybe sometimes I find doing the right thing really hard, that I want petty, self serving revenge, that I don’t find it easy to not be selfish and unkind or sometimes want to hurt people because I am hurting myself and see an opportunity to do that. Obviously those aren’t nice things and I don’t want to be that way, but are you honestly telling me you don’t feel that? I find that hard to believe, and it leaves me with an ongoing question of if I am just worse than most people or if most people are just more fake. Both scenarios are equally shit. The ugly side of punk provides - not an answer to that - but maybe a partial solution, at least for me.

Another discussion we have all the time is about how what we consume or allow in artistic expression is influencing how we act as people in real life and how we want the world to be. Where do we draw the line? What is still ok? If I put me entertaining ideas about murder on a canvas, is that still good? what if it’s racism? What if it’s rape? We argue alot about how providing a safe space in art for those feelings is actually preventing us from acting on it in real life, how it’s an outlet of something we would never actually want or do, but then where is the limit to that? I am putting this intentionally controversial, but if we admit that most of us grow up with internalized racism and mysogyny, by that logic, why can’t I paint something that is blatantly hateful if I have those feelings? Maybe that is my way of fighting it, you don’t have to look at it? Not saying that’s what I am doing or would want to do, but what if? For some people Rammstein singing about not wanting to be Angels is crossing that line, for some of us that line is drawn alot later. Who is right? Isn’t that just personal sensitivity? Can you honestly rationalise that? Isn’t it just processing our different levels of petty hate in different ways? I don’t have the answers to any of that, it’s just questions I often have and that I think have to do with this, because alot of the nasty bits in punk will justify it exactly that way, as artistic expression. Alot of it isn’t as political as this scene is made out to be, it’s simply asking those things. I personally relate to that alot, as someone who arguably would draw the line of “we should stop doing this” in art very, very, very late - and certainly later than my own personal comfort zone.

I’m not sure if any of this makes any sense at all. I hope it does - and if it doesn’t it’s probably because I don’t know either, or because I don’t want to fully blow this up into an essay (sorry, too late?) or because I suck at making a point, or maybe because we simply disagree. All I know is that I sometimes see these posts of “what is punk and what isn’t” and it leaves me with this taste of “you’re describing a utopia and it’s cute and I want that too, but it’s not everything punk as I know it is, and it feels like you don’t want to see something that mattered too - even if it was brutal and disgusting.” And everytime I see it I feel alien, like something that mattered to me so much as a teenager and young adult gets taken away from me and made into something so sleek and pretty it becomes something unattainable to be that I simply don’t manage to live up to in the way I would like. I guess that is a petty, selfish way of looking at it too.

«It's a repressive society where you can't be horrible, I'm not horrible, they made me horrible, I'm just honest.»

- John Lydon

#sorry for this getting out of hand

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #355

“despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage”

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? No, only as a kid. What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Meats or jalapenos. When did you first take a shot of alcohol? Never, and I'm not interested. Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne, since middle school. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes. Not the one I currently live in. Have you ever been to a spa? Only because my friend at the time took me. When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? My right. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. Do you like Bob Marley? NO. Omg his voice is awful. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah. I'm not a big fan. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We only ever do that if my sister is over (she comes for dinner once a week). Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, Violet Orlandi's cover of "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins. God she's so beautiful and talented and asdfjkaljddkfjlwkee FUCK I'm gay for her. Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Watching Mark. :') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? Yeah. Do you like men who have a sensitive side? Yes. Please be in touch with your emotions, for the love of God. Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? Not persistently, no, but Mini is a case where me mentioning them enough got her to listen to them. Metallica, by the way. They're her favorite band because of mwah, haha. Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? It's possible, but I don't believe so. Do you like Dairy Queen? Love it. They're Oreo Cupfection thing is BOMB. Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Yes. I have a friend Shannen who first was a widely-recognized photographer in the state, and now she's a fashion designer (or something like that) up in New York. Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? A number of Rammstein songs. How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? So long they're well-made for safety reasons, I don't care much. They do seem a bit unnecessary, though; like just look at James Hetfield's accident that burned half his body because of standing in the wrong place. It seems easy to fuck up and get in a dangerous range. Ever fallen down a hole? No. Do you like bananas? Yeah. How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. Have you ever been a featured member on any website? Yeah, on a Silent Hill fansite. Have you ever had any weird pets? Not by my standards. A ball python morph is as "weird" as it gets. Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Nope. Have you ever experienced insomnia? Ugh, yes. I went through a horrible insomnia spell, and I still have an awful time trying to fall asleep. Do you like egg nog? Nooo. Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I'm not opposed to it, but realistically I'd probably wear something more traditionally suiting just because. Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I've cried all the oceans over just one lol. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Being a mortician actually doesn't sound awful, weird as it sounds. It sounds almost relaxing if I could just be alone with some music doing my job. Would rather be a musician or a painter? A painter. Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? I'd love to write a book. At home, do you have a trampoline? No. When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? No. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. And what about your favorite Christmas song? Probably "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or whatever it's called. "Carol of the Bells" too, of course. What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? Haha, okay so it seems to be an unspoken rule that Mom always gets us Slim Jims for our stockings, and that's obviously the best considering my sisters and I loooove them yet still don't buy them much. You're making me ready for Christmas, lol. After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I did as a kid, and then my sisters and I would trade what we preferred. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? It's honestly pretty loud. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Cold pizza from dinner leftovers last night. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix, Cali. She was a big 'ole pup. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? Food: strawberries. Drink: Mountain Lightning. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Either when I skinned my knees so deep that pus was visible, or when I fainted onto my chin and got a short, but very deep cut. Do you like the taste of cough syrup? No. What is something you like to have conversations about? I like talking about deep stuff, like where we came from, our unique feelings and beliefs, conspiracy theories and cryptids, mysterious stuff like that, too. And don't forget animals. And Mark, haha. What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a car, and I don't remember what's in Mom's trunk, even though I helped bring in groceries just the other day. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Ew, no. Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? Our AC is currently on because it's too damn hot. The weather here has been so up and down, it's wild. Have you ever fallen off of a horse? No. Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Honestly? I'd be dumber than I already am if it meant being happy with how I look, because my appearance now is a key factor to my depression. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Oh jeez... I have no idea. I don't think since I've driven a golf cart at someone's b-day party as a kid. Were your grandparents present when you were born? No. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I only have a drink or two very rarely, usually just on special occasions. What do you think of fast food? I like it way more than I wish I did. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube, because I'm always listening to and/or watching something. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? In one non-stop setting, I don't want to know. I pretty much only exist on the computer. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Mountainous, loads of nature, cooler/cold, mysterious locations... stuff like that. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? If we learn from our goddamn mistakes and not fuck up its environment, it could be healthy or even life-saving for humanity, but I'd prefer to stay on Earth as long as possible. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I dunno, maybe at Disney World or something like that as a kid. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Physical health stuff. I'm worried about a lot of things relating to that. What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? I don't know about "unimportant," at least to me. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Yeah. I only really eat the cinnamon apple ones; I always use milk and sprinkle some sugar in there, and it's delicious. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? When Mom and I stopped at Jason's house to bring the family some treats following his mother's death. I stayed in the car and couldn't even look towards the house, but yeah. So many memories just stampeded me. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? I pay zero attention to it; I don't believe they have influence over people in any way. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? I guess you could say World of Warcraft. It's definitely the most involved, like I've been playing it almost consistently since 2014, and I used to be in a Heroic raid team, which certainly wasn't easy. Then there's some achievements I busted my ass to get. Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? British is where it's at. Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? Extremely Southern ones. Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? No. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Embarrassingly, it frequently does. Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? Ugh, I could never. I hate the feeling of socks. Have you ever bleached your hair? By myself, no, but a professional has to dye it. Do you like jelly beans? They're okay. It really depends on the flavor, and even then I can't eat a lot of them. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Yes, but not because it scares me, but rather that I'm just jumpy. Subtle thunder isn't so bad, and I LOVE the drone of heavy rain, but once you add booming thunder and strong flashes of lightning, it's too disruptive for me to fall asleep easily. Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) My not-so-little sister is just about to finish her Master's lakdsjfakwe I'm so proud of her. Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I think I was always kinda bummed out, even though I liked my babysitters. I had horrible separation anxiety from my mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I did have this one guy who'd been like obsessed with me since pre-k and would always chase me to hug and kiss me. In pre-k it was awful, but he still did it sometimes in kindergarten, despite the teachers getting on him about it. It's actually a memory I forgot for a very long time, like I think my brain tried to oppress it, and I wonder if it has anything to do with my fear of people standing behind me, men specifically, and being raped. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Oh yes, I was obsessed! Who was your best friend in elementary school? It jumped between Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? YESSSSS. I even had the computer game. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. Did you get an allowance? No. Not because my parents didn't want to or anything, but rather they couldn't afford allowances to three kids. Were you into American Girl dolls? Nah. I got one, but I think it was mostly so my sisters and I each had our own. Nicole, however, was sooooo into them. Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? Some, yeah, especially the boy down my street named D'Andre. We would hang out ALL the time, be it at each other's houses or just riding our bikes. He actually got married very recently and I'm so happy for him, ahhhhh!! What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Thunderstorms. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? Oh my god, YES. The one where you were hosting a surprise birthday party was my absolute favorite. Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? Yes. .-. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Chocolate, of course.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''bullet with butterfly wings'' by the smashing pumpkins

[girlwiththepapatattoo]

Chiaroscuro: Aurora, Chapter 16

Warnings: Vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex, multiple partners, semi-public sex, Johannes discovers a little more about himself lmao

Tags: @whoreschach @reclusive-cat-lady @limerami @saekkos @yournewsatanistpisshunter @angelfallenspirit @kshandra @rocket-dancer @bakedbybeelzebub @blood-ghuleh @jitterbugs927  @inferuscorvus @ptite-shit @scriptor @localmusicrocks @dragonsfire8780 @thedaddytamer @maidenismyreligion

If anyone would like to be tagged, let us know!

Enjoy!

You are glad to see all the happy, smiling faces, the stress of the battles and the waiting for said battles melting away. The drinks flow, the food is incredible, and the music is even better. Once they get out of their meeting, Rammstein even take to the stage, and you make sure you are in the front row for that.

The dancing and the music go late into the evening, continuing for the King and his court even after the citizens have all left, which gives you the opportunity to dance with all your loves. “The only thing I hate about these state dinners is that I don’t get to spend much time with you,” you say to John as he pulls you in close. “I don’t want you to feel neglected.”

John smiles and presses his forehead to yours, using his devastating blue eyes to their full advantage. “Oh, beautiful one, you’re the sweetest. We don’t feel neglected.” He kisses you, soft and sweet and as slow as the dance. “We’d tell you if we were, I promise.”

You pull back slightly, feeling almost drugged from his kiss. “I don’t know, maybe you’d keep it from me so that I wouldn’t feel bad. You’re all so protective all the time,” you say, scolding a little bit.

John has the grace to look a little sheepish. “Yeah, well...you have enough to worry about. We don’t wanna add to that.”

“And I don’t want to neglect any of you,” you retort, kissing him again.

His hands slide up your back, then down, cupping your bottom, as his lips slant across yours. “I’m not feeling at all neglected,” he hums. “You’re so fucking beautiful, babygirl.”

You gasp into his mouth, blushing darkly, but you don’t pull away. You hear several wolf whistles (possibly very literally in this case) as he kneads your ass. He groans, pressing into you, before you pull away. “John, we’re still in the great hall!” you whisper heatedly to him.

“And?” he whispers back, his smirk teasing. “Everyone here except five-sixths of the fae has had you. And you can’t tell me you wouldn’t mind them watching.”

You flush in his arms. “John. You’re not serious right now.”

“Oh, aren’t I? I’m sure Rammstein wouldn’t mind at all,” he says, sounding devious and suspiciously like Papa.

“John!” You’re so red and trying not to laugh.

“Babygirl.” His eyes sparkle as his smirk widens. You can’t look away from his gaze...and you’re suddenly not totally sure that he isn’t teasing.

“John.” You can feel everyone’s eyes on you. “John, I ... I don’t... “

“Hey.” The deep voice straightens your spine, and your blush somehow deepens. “She is mine tonight, wolf,” Till says, arm slipping around your waist and pulling you gently against his chest. “I don’t mind you all watching again though.”

“Till!” you gasp. “Not you too!”

Till looks down at you, expression almost...confused. “What’s the problem? You have a dozen lovers at hand, it only makes sense that you’d be used to eyes on you.”

“That’s...” You swallow hard. “That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?” he asks patiently.

“I...I know all my lovers very well. B-But the rest of your band? I don’t know them well enough to be comfortable having sex in front of them!”

“Not what happened at the ritual.” John snickers, “and if you can fuck in front of strangers you can fuck in front of Rammstein.”

Your flush deepens so quickly, it’s a wonder you don’t faint. “I...that’s...” Memories from that night flit through your mind. “That’s not fair,” you hiss.

Till laughs as John grins and boops your nose. “All’s fair in love and orgies,” the spy sing-songs. You huff and bury your face in Till’s chest, wishing you could stomp away, but the fae’s massive arm prevents that.

“Later, you’ll tell me about this special orgy, hmm?” Till asks John, who grins as he recalls the evening in question.

“Sure. It was a helluva night, you should have heard the sounds--”

“John!” you protest.

Till laughs, clutching his stomach. “I don’t understand why you are protesting, little one,” he chortles, giving you a fond squeeze. “I have fucked you quite thoroughly once before, I think hearing about an orgy is no problem.”

“Well, it’s a problem for me,” you mutter as your gaze darts around the ballroom. 

You gasp faintly as Richard is suddenly next to you, his arm slipping around your waist. “Why’s that? Don’t tell me after about a year with your Papa and these other fellows, you’re still ashamed of your sexuality?”

“W-Well, no, of course not. I just.” You try to gather your thoughts, but the beautiful fae is hard to think around. “I still get nervous when...when it’s someone new. There’s five new tonight.” 

“You know if you truly want us gone for this, we’ll leave,” Oli all but intones from your right. You blink up (and up) at him in surprise. 

“Yeah, we’re fae, not monsters,” Schneider says gently. 

“But we’d be honored if we could stay,” Flake finishes, and then everyone’s looking at you expectantly. 

You hear Papa’s sinful chuckle behind you. “You see? You have nothing to fear from these lovely gentlemen watching the show,” he purrs into your ear. “And you did, if I recall, promise Richard a night with you sometime. Seems like a great time to make good.” Richard perks up, and Papa looks over to Till as a sudden idea strikes him. “Do you think if we ask Jonas nicely, you and I could defile her on his throne?”

You squeal and turn bright red up to your ears.

John’s laugh is low and dangerous. “From anyone else, Jonas would refuse. From you...I’m willing to bet he’ll say yes.”

Till stares at Papa for a moment, his eyes flashing as he licks his lips. “I don’t usually fuck on other people’s thrones,” he growls, “but I’m willing to make an exception.”

Tim and John each grab one of your arms and start pulling you in the direction of the throne, which Jonas is sitting in. “What’s all this?” Jonas asks, almost alarmed as he watches you halfheartedly struggle.

“We’ve got a much better use for your throne right now than for your ass,” John crows.

“No offense to said ass,” Tim snickers.

Eyebrow raised, Jonas looks to you for explanation but you’re red-faced and staring at the floor. “You both are having her? I thought Till had claimed your attentions.”

“Oh, he has,” John says with a grin.

Papa chuckles as he steps up. “I may have distracted everyone with an idea, my king.”

“Oh?” Jonas smirks as Till comes up behind you, leaning down to nip at your neck even as his hands cup your breasts, making you gasp as you’re still suspended between the two shifters. “This should be good. What is this idea, dear Papa?”

Papa’s smile is sinful as he takes two steps up the dais and kneels before his husband, beckoning him to meet him halfway. He murmurs, “Your new ambassador and I would like to debauch your wife on your throne.” His smirk is naughty, full of promise. “Think of it as...strengthening our diplomatic ties.” His tongue darts out, licking his lips as his heated gaze takes in the sudden desire that sweeps across Jonas’s face.

Jonas’s eyes close, and then he leans forward and kisses Papa hard. “I think that’s an excellent idea, beautiful one.” He stands, stepping away from the throne, and Till immediately steps over and sits, looking right into your eyes. “Strip for us,” he growls as he shucks his own clothes.

You stare as he bares himself, lust rising but still not enough to override your immediate reaction. “I... I don’t think I can... here... with Rammstein watching...”

Papa lifts your hair, exposing the nape of your neck, kissing you there. “Oh you can, my love. You just need a bit more...distraction...”

“Besides,” Till says, taking his cock in hand and giving himself two slow pumps, which makes your mouth go dry, “if you don’t take that dress off, I’ll rip it off. And that would be a shame, because it looks so good on you.” His eyes roam your form, and you shudder as his cock twitches. You inhale sharply, your eyes wide. He frowns faintly before gently pulling you toward him. He doesn’t care that he’s still naked and you’re not, he sits you down gently on his thigh. “Liebling. My friends are right. If you don’t want this to happen, it will not happen, simple as that. But…” He softly turns your head to face the other fae, and they’re looking at you rapturously, as if you are the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen. “I can tell you right now, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” 

Your eyes widen, and you turn your head back to look into Till’s eyes. He nods, smiling faintly, and he lays a surprisingly fond kiss on your jaw. You shiver, eyes closing for a moment as his thick but soft fingers stroke up and down the front of your neck. “I...w-well...o-okay. Okay.” You stand and reach behind yourself and grasp the zipper of the dress, slowly pulling it down. You let the velvet fall, pooling at your feet, leaving you in just your lingerie. Till growls, eyes flicking over the matching dark red and white lace of your underwear.

Till lifts one hand, twirling a finger in a “spin for me” gesture, and you comply, holding on to Papa’s hand for support as you go up on your toes a little.

The German singer groans, eyes dark as he leans forward to watch you. “I have to admit, Jonas, you have exquisite taste when you gift her clothes. She looks good enough to eat.” You flush darkly, feeling extremely warm. Papa chuckles and wipes a bead of sweat off your forehead.

Jonas hums. “Thank you, my friend,” he says as Till crooks his finger. “You look far too comfortable there. Like you’ve spent time on a throne before.”

Till flicks a quick glance at Jonas before returning to you, as Papa leads you forward. “I won’t steal yours, wolf king. I have enough with mine.”

You freeze. “He’s royalty?” you ask Papa, who shrugs.

“It’s possible, my wife.”

Till chuckles. “Ask me about it after,” he rumbles, and then he’s pulling you back onto his lap. You shudder, the warmth of him and the feel of his skin against yours stealing your words. He envelops you, making you feel tiny. “Right now there are much more interesting things to do.”

Jonas slides his hand into your hair, gripping the back of your neck, and kisses you deep. “You look beautiful on my throne, my flower. Very decorative.”

You huff into his mouth, pulling away with a wry smile you can’t help. “I like to think that I’m more than a decoration to you.”

The king laughs, stroking his thumb over your cheek. “Of course you are. But right now I’m more interested in watching Till fuck you until you’re begging him to stop making you come...”

You whimper at the thought even as Till rumbles his agreement. Papa strokes your back, unhooking your bra as he does so, and Till’s hands are quick to slide under the loose garment, filling his warm palms with your flesh.

You shudder hard, arching up into his touch as your nipples harden instantly. Till growls as Papa pulls the cloth from your body and tosses it over the top of the throne. The fae is quick to lean down and flicker his tongue over one hard bud, and you gasp his name as he scrapes his teeth over you.

Papa’s lips trail fire along your shoulder as his hands roam up and down your sides, finally resting on your hips, sliding under the sides of your panties. “Get them off,” Till mutters against your breast. “I want her cunt wrapped around my dick.”

Papa hums and pulls you briefly up, working your panties down your thighs. As soon as they hit the floor Till pulls you back onto him, pressing your legs around his waist and your core to his cock, groaning loudly as his hard, massive length rests against your folds. “Ah...but I almost forgot.” He looks down at the assembled shifters and fae as he turns you to face them, pressing your back against his chest. “You did promise Richard something, didn’t you? Richard, get over here and eat her out!” The huge man laughs as Richard all but runs up the stairs to the throne. 

You gasp as the beautiful fae drops to his knees before you. “For the right goddess, I don’t mind being a supplicant,” he all but purrs, making you blush darkly. “May I worship you as you deserve, liebling?” 

Your moan is long and drawn out, and you nod, leaning down to kiss him. He kisses you back passionately, before pulling away and arranging your legs over his shoulders. Papa steps back to watch, biting his lip as Richard kisses a fiery trail up your innermost thighs. He gently parts your lower lips, moaning at how thoroughly soaked you are already. “Scheiße, liebling, you are dripping. And you smell so good…” 

Till laughs and growl-sings into your ear, “Du riechst so gut,” and the sound and feel of his chest rumbling behind you makes you shudder and squirm. Richard laughs as liquid splatters onto the floor. “I think she really enjoyed that, mein freund. Maybe go through the whole song, we’ll see if I can make her come before the end.” 

Heat threatens to swamp you as Till laughs behind you. “That sounds like a challenge I’m up for.” He begins singing into your ear again as Richard dives in, lapping at your sopping entrance and making you scream. The sounds coming from you make all the men sitting below groan, even as Schneider laughs and begins tapping out the song’s rhythm on his leg. 

Richard presses his lips around your entrance and sucks gently, moaning as he swallows down your essence before licking a slow stripe up to your clit. His hands rub along your thigh as he flicks his tongue rapidly against the achingly hard bud, and you scream his name, fingers sliding into his hair to keep him there. He chuckles, suckling over and over on your clit, and with the waves of heat radiating off your body, you’re surprised you’re not burning Till. The fae between your legs presses three fingers into you, swirling and thrusting in perfect tandem with Till’s singing, and the effect is so hot that you suddenly come only three quarters of the way through the song. Richard growls in arousal as he feels you drip down his face, and Till growls in turn as your backside slides against his cock. They keep you high for what feels like days before Richard pulls away, licking his lips and grinning. “Delicious. Thank you for dessert, liebling.” He kisses you briefly, letting you taste yourself, before he saunters down the steps. 

You gasp for breath, leaning heavily against Till’s chest, who’s snickering faintly at you. “F-Fuck...are all of you incredible at that?” you ask, making his snickers turn into a full-blown laugh. You smile happily and grind against him, and he groans and turns you around, kissing you deeply as he wraps your legs around his waist. You’re so enraptured you almost don’t feel Papa’s slick fingers searching for your back hole.

You gasp his name as you feel that clever finger rub and gently press at your sensitive hole, and the very small part of your brain that’s still coherent wonders how he got the lube. But then Till’s tongue is in your mouth and Papa works his finger inside and you’re not wondering anything anymore.

The burn and stretch are nothing but pleasure to you now, and you push back against his finger, looking for more. “Greedy girl,” Papa whispers as he slowly finger-fucks your ass. “My finger isn’t enough, is it. You want my cock in there, I know you do. And you want Till’s cock filling your pussy. Tell us. Tell us how much you want it, how you need to be stuffed full of cock, fucked hard...”

“O-Oh fuck I need you both so much I need your cocks in me right now, please, please fuck me!” you wail, making Till grunt as your nails sink into his shoulders. He likes the pain though, you can tell by the way his cock twitches against your folds.

Till shifts, and you rise up on your knees a little, holding your breath as his tip presses against your slit...then stops. Your core clenches, slick dripping on him, but he doesn’t move, just watches you as you buck between him and Papa’s finger. “Please....please....” Your words turn into a pathetic whine.

Till and Papa laugh at the same time. “My wife, you’re making a mess,” Papa purrs into your ear as he adds a second finger. You gurgle a little at the increased stretch, but it does nothing to ease the ache.

“Such a sloppy girl,” Till rumbles, sliding his tip over your folds achingly slowly. “Should make you lick my lap clean.”

Your nails dig even harder into the fae’s shoulders, making him hiss, but still he makes you wait, rubbing against you but not entering you. Your pleas are desperate whispers, almost prayers.

“I leave to take a piss for five minutes and the fucking starts without me, I see how it is! Whoa...” Johannes trails off as he watches you leak all over Till’s cock. “...on your throne?” he murmurs to Jonas in surprise.

“They were inspired,” Jonas rumbles, staring at the scene before him. “You know how I like to encourage...creativity.” You let out another strangled plea and the king groans. “If they don’t start fucking her soon, I’m going to start begging, fuck.”

Johannes snickers, absently palming at his growing erection. “That’ll be the day.” Till ignores the two men, pressing at your entrance with the head of his cock, but never fully entering. Even just that part is so wide and thick though that it makes you cry out, and you all but sob in need as he pulls back.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, you straighten, and slap both your hands on either side of Till’s face, staring into his impossibly bright eyes. “Till. Please.”

He smirks, and the feel of his cheeks gently moving underneath your hands shouldn’t feel as wonderful as it does. “Little one, am I doing something wrong?” he all but purrs. Papa chuckles, fingers still working in and out of you.

“Yes. No.” You whimper. “I don’t know.”

He tsks, a look of mock sympathy on his face. “Perhaps we should stop, if you don’t know the answer to my question. Maybe it’s too much...”

Your eyes widen. “You wouldn’t dare stop.”

He gets right in your face, a devious grin spreading over his lips. “You’re right.”

You blink in confusion. “Wait, wh--” And then he plunges into you, all at once to the base of his shaft, and you’re screaming and squeezing him and Papa’s fingers tight and on the edge of another orgasm already.

Your loves who have been watching groan in encouragement, and Till chuckles as he watches you writhe, resisting the need to fuck you fast and hard just yet. “Pope.”

“Mmmm?” Papa replies almost absently as he takes everything in.

“Are you sticking with your fingers, or are you going to get your cock involved? I’m done playing.”

“Oh, I am most certainly going to fuck her beautiful ass,” he purrs, and finally shucks his clothes. He slicks up his cock before pulling his fingers free of you, and slowly pushes in, relishing in your wail of pleasure and the way you squeeze him tight.

You gasp, trying to catch your breath as Till and Papa hold themselves inside you, anticipating their next moves. Your entire body quivers. You feel totally, impossibly full, and you’re sure that if anyone so much as breathes on your clit, you’ll explode.

Till’s hand pushes into your hair, and he leans forward, pressing his forehead to yours. He whispers something in German, his sea-green eyes staring into yours, and the language sounds so beautiful and sexy rolling off his tongue. “W-What...what d-does that mean?” you whisper back, impressed with yourself that you can get words out.

“Loosely translated,” Paul calls cheerfully from where he’s sitting next to Oli, watching the show and lightly pumping himself, “it means ‘you’re even more beautiful when you’re stuffed full of cock.’”

“Oh my gods...” you moan, your eyelids sinking shut as the two cocks inside you twitch. “Oh...my....gods....”

Papa wraps your hair around his hand and pulls your head back. “Open your eyes, my wife, watch us tear you apart.”

You shudder and obey, opening your eyes to be met with Papa’s two-tone stare above you, and Till’s intense but beautiful stare before you. You whine, quivering against the men, and they chuckle at the mess they’ve made of you.

“Shall we, Herr Lindemann?” Papa says, his breathing giving only the slightest hint that he is struggling to keep still inside you.

Till chuckles. “We shall, Papa.” They both pull out at the same time, and then push back in, nice and slow, letting you feel every single inch they have to give.

Your keen is loud and long, their groans serving as a harmonic contrast that plays against the hard driving music in the background. They pull out again, hesitating only a second before pushing back inside you, a fraction faster than before.

Your nails bite back into Till’s shoulders, making him growl, and the sound goes right to your core. You clench around them both, shuddering and leaning back against Papa. “Fuuuuuck that’s hot,” Johannes says, pulling his cock out of his pants.

“Yes...fuck yes,” Jonas mutters, torn between wanting to watch you fall apart, and wanting to help the process. “Our wife is ... stunning...”

“Always,” Johannes pants, stroking himself in time with their thrusts. He watches as Till leans forward to suck marks into your cleavage, wishing it was his mouth on your skin.

Their speed picks up as they fuck you together, their hands gripping you tightly. Till is laser focused on your breasts. Papa nips at your neck, hand still wrapped in your hair. His free hand slides around to your front and down, stopping at your mound briefly so he can feel Till’s cock moving inside you.

“You are impressive, Lindemann,��� Papa grunts, smirking at the bigger man.

“So are you,” Till growls. “Now make her come on us.” He smirks in challenge up at the other man. “If you can last through it. “

His fingers move just enough as he chuckles into your neck, his breath hot and damp on your skin. “We’ll see how I do,” he pants. “Oh my love, shatter for us...please.” He presses the pads of his fingers on your clit.

You make a loud gurgling sound as your nerve endings crackle, and you writhe between them as you feel yourself pushed up to the edge. One more swipe shoves you off the cliff into a white-hot pleasure that borders on too much, and you scream loud enough to be heard over the radio someone had turned on long ago when the band had left.

Both men growl, gripping you tightly as they both try to hold off their own endings. Jonas smirks, and a thought to Papa has the pope tossing the lube to the king. “Johannes. On your knees for me.” Johannes startles, quickly looks at Jonas, a question in his eyes and on his lips. “You heard me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I heard you.” Johannes swallows as all the heat in Jonas’s gaze focuses directly on him.

“Well?” Jonas says, raising an eyebrow. “Do I get to fuck my husband while my throne is defiled... or not?” If you had any presence of mind, you’d have laughed. As it is, you miss how Johannes swallows again and quickly strips, getting down on all fours.

Jonas lets out a low sigh of pleasure as he circles Johannes, examining his every feature. “Such a handsome wolf,” he says quietly, almost to himself.

Johannes flushes, unused to being so vulnerable in front of people he usually keeps up a tough front with. But his cock twitches and drips precum onto the floor, and Jonas laughs lowly.

“You’re almost as red as our wife,” the king says through his amusement. “That’s new. I rather like it.”

Johannes growls as he fidgets. “Don’t get used to it. This is just...a fluke.”

“A fluke, hm?” Jonas squats down near Johannes’s hip, taking hold of his husband’s rock-hard cock. “This tells me that you’re enjoying much more than just the sight in front of you. My dear Johannes, are you finding out about a new kink? Exhibitionism perhaps?”

Johannes takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I...this...it’s not my first time in front of others, Jonas.”

“No,” Jonas muses as he strokes Johannes’s cock slowly, his grip firm. “No, but something has you blushing...”

Johannes shudders hard, hips rolling into the king’s hand. “I-I don’t know what you mean,” he pants, fingers curling against the carpeted floor.

“Oh, but I think you do,” Jonas purrs, smirking. “And I want you to say it out loud.”

Johannes bites back a whine, lifts his head a little, and stares at Papa and Till fucking you hard, avoiding his king’s gaze. “Nothing. Nothing at all. Are you getting naked?”

Jonas snorts. “I will be, once you do as I say.” He gives Johannes’s cock a hard squeeze, making the muscles in his back ripple hard. “Answer me, my husband. Or I’ll force you to watch our wife get completely wrecked and not touch your cock at all.”

It’s getting harder for Johannes to keep his whines in. “Dick,” he manages to grind out as he shoves himself against Jonas’s hand. “You’re a goddamn dick.”

Jonas laughs. “Maybe. But you like it. Now...” Another hard squeeze. “Tell me.”

Johannes growls, turning his head and whispering harshly. “I-In front of him. Y-You’re...I-I’m submitting in front of that damn fae!”

Jonas blinks in surprise, looking over at Till, who’s very much not paying attention to anyone but you. “Really. Hm.” He smirks. “Well, because I love you, this will be our little secret. Good boy.” And the king finally strips.

As he bares himself, Johannes begins to melt a little. A whine escapes--he simply can’t hold that one in--and he quickly glances at Till again, to be sure he’s totally focused on you, as he mutters a string of German in your ear. Your wail makes Johannes grin...and then the king is stroking his back.

Jonas chuckles, leaning down and draping himself over his husband’s back. “You tease our love for her embarrassment kink so often, I never guessed you had one too. Maybe one day we’ll get really drunk with Till and explore that.” Then one lubed-up finger is pressing to Johannes’s hole.

Johannes hisses in anticipation, then his brain registers his king’s words. “Oh like fuck we will. Fuck no.” He shakes his head even as he pushes back against Jonas’s finger. “No fucking way god damn--” Jonas’s finger pushes in, and all Johannes can do right then is groan.

Jonas laughs. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you say no over the way your hole clenched at my suggestion,” he teases, wiggling the digit.

Johannes turns crimson and scowls over his shoulder. “If you weren’t about to fuck me, I’d hit you.”

“Hmmmm, angry sex, now there’s an idea,” Jonas says, his voice rumbling against Johannes’s back and making him shiver. “We’ll save that for another time, shall we? I just want...” he pushes his finger in farther, making Johannes groan. “I just want to fuck you til you scream my name.”

You glance over in time to see Jonas pushing his slicked-up cock into Johannes, and you shudder hard against the singers surrounding you. “Liebling, you are incredible at taking us,” Till growls, hands gripping your flesh wherever he can.

“She enjoys practicing,” Papa grunts, “and we enjoy helping her practice.”

“Papa,” you gasp.

“What, my love? It’s true,” he says, caressing your sides before gripping your hips.

Till laughs, making you shudder again at the sound. “Why is that something to be ashamed of? Own your sexuality, little one.” He smirks darkly. “Own it like we are owning you.”

You can’t answer because your body chooses that moment to erupt into another orgasm. All you can do is shake and quiver around and against the two men slamming into you.

“Fuck you’re so good,” Till groans, grinding you onto his cock as Papa moans sinfully into your neck. You’re suspended between them, lost in the overwhelming pleasure, drowning in the two men.

You’re sending out trails of energy, some that are anchored to the earth, some with the ghouls...and there are subtle exchanges of sexual energy happening throughout the assembled men. You can feel the lust and desire rising, the pulsing waves driving you just as hard as the two cocks inside you.

“It’s beautiful,” you slur as you come down, shuddering hard, and Papa sighs into your ear.

“It is, my goddess.”

“What is?” Till grunts around your nipple in his mouth.

“The...the pleasure...” you sigh. “So much... I can feel everything...from everyone here... oh!” Your body jerks, and you clench around their cocks, making them grunt.

“Are you all right?” Papa breathes, trying to hold his orgasm back.

“Yeah, just....gods I think I just felt Paul come...”

Till catches Papa’s eye, and he nods. “I’m ready if you are.”

“Please,” Papa gasps, feeling the coil begin to snap already. He bellows as his hips slam against your ass, and he fills your back hole with his scalding seed.

Till’s laugh is more a coarse bark. “Fuck, I can feel you twitching,” he mutters as he fucks into you.

“Good,” Papa rasps. “Now let me feel you.” And he takes your hand and moves it to your mound, letting you feel Till’s cock bulge as it moves inside you.

You shudder at the feeling, gasping their names, meeting Till’s eyes as he grins widely and playfully flicks his tongue at you. You flush, but you can’t help but smile back, and he groans and leans forward, kissing you deeply.

You swallow each other’s moans as he begins to empty inside you. Papa’s fingers slide over your slippery clit, quick, pulling one more orgasm out of you. Your inner walls grip their cocks, milking them, and the pleasure makes your whole body stiffen as you come.

You and Till breathe together, and you writhe together, and Papa moans at the perfect moment, sucking a mark into your neck. You come down slowly, and your body gives out, slumping against the two men, all your physical energy gone.

They both chuckle a little as their hands roam your body, stroking your skin, absorbing the tremors that move through your limp frame. Papa murmurs in your ear, words you can’t quite make out, as he watches his husbands out of the corner of his eye.

Till is nuzzling against your neck, murmuring softly in German. You don’t know what he’s saying, but it sounds affectionate, and it makes you smile and, somehow, relax even further. Papa gently pulls out of you, making you gasp and shudder, before pressing a kiss to your shoulder and moving over to Johannes, getting on his knees before the wolf. “Did you enjoy the show, my husband?”

Johannes is taking everything Jonas is giving him, every inch, every pounding thrust, grunting and moaning harshly, unable to speak. He stares at Papa, tries to respond...but his words have escaped him.

Jonas laughs, but he is too focused on keeping his rhythm steady to say anything as well. Papa chuckles and winks at the king, then slips around Johannes’s side and leans under him, taking the wolf’s cock into his mouth. Johannes bellows and comes almost instantly, having been on the edge for some time now.

Jonas curses as Papa struggles a bit to swallow the hot spurts of cum. He manages to get most of it, only a few dribbles escaping down his chin and the corner of his mouth. “Say my name, wolf, say it,” Jonas whispers as grips Johannes’s hips tight, thrusting deep, his thigh muscles growing taut.

“J-Jonas!” the wolf howls as he hits a particular tender spot, and then his arms give out as Jonas snarls and comes, filling his husband’s ass with his hot seed. Papa groans as he watches, stroking a hand down Johannes’s back.

His other hand rests on Jonas’s thigh and he hums his approval as the muscle trembles under his grip. “Dear Satan, but I have been blessed with absolutely stunning lovers,” he murmurs. “What did I do to deserve this.”

Neither one of said lovers are able to answer, as Jonas collapses backwards after he’d slipped out of Johannes, breathing hard, and Johannes is shuddering and also gasping for breath. Papa laughs softly, rubbing his hands over his husband’s back soothingly.

The three of them collapse into a pile, murmuring to each other, watching as the assembled men begin to clean up from their own orgasms, and keeping a close eye on you as you nuzzle into Till.

#chiaroscuro: aurora #the band ghost #the band avatar #papa emeritus iii #johannes eckerström #nameless ghouls #jonas kungen jarlsby #tim ohrstrom #henrik sandelin #john alfredsson

[magistralucis]

Are you really taking Rammstein prompts for the soft summer prompts? 🥺 Can I ask number 3 'sitting on the porch at night' then please?

3: Sitting on the porch at night // Till/Richard

---------------

Richard awakens in the dead of night.

He turns his face towards the door. From the porch he can hear wisps of music, interspersed with crackles of analog static. These are the same noises that cut through the fabric of his sleep every night, but tonight, they feel like a suggestion. He wraps himself up and tiptoes out of the room.

“Till.”

Every night the same routine. As Richard names the dear name he knows what he’s going to see: his friend sat on the porch, a battered radio by his side. He’ll have it on the lowest volume, but his favourite music tends to cancel that out. Richard sits beside him, and when Till turns his head, raises his hand in greeting. Till nods back, then they both turn to gaze at the stars, weighing the silence between them.

They like their silences.

The radio fades to white. Till adjusts the dial, and Richard watches, until the sound comes in clear again. A local punk rock station. “Were we on earlier?”

“Much earlier. Wait and see, you may come back on.”

Till’s voice is low and thoughtful. Richard smiles wryly. This station often goes offline, sometimes for repairs, or to escape scrutiny, or because the authorities snatched up whoever was manning the station. Public opinion on punk rock is still such that he may have to wait up to a whole week to hear himself on the radio again.

He would barely put up with it if not for his pride, and for the fact Till would wait that long. Richard cranes his head and sees what he was doing: stringing his guitar and weaving a handle for a new basket. All this he has seen before, and all this Till will do again, a beacon of Schweriner steadiness. Richard can relax with him because he’s stable in a world constantly shifting about them.

“Which track?”

“‘Geh zurück in dein Buch’. More to come, they said.”

Richard laughs. Feeling B’s first album came out a fortnight ago. “Josch will be pleased. Paul and Flake, too, even if Flake doesn’t show it. They did a stellar job.”

Till tilts his head. Their eyes are equally dark in the night. “They?”

Maybe it was really the summer heat that disturbed Richard’s sleep, or the chirping crickets, or the news earlier. But whatever it was, it’s clear he needed to be at Till’s side tonight. He raises his head and meets the other’s gaze.

“Till, I’m planning to jump the border.”

A glimmer of something alights in Till’s eyes, then is gone.

It wasn’t just Aljoscha, Paul, and Flake who produced that album. Till drummed for a track, and although Richard’s role didn’t extend as far as the credits, he jumped in to smooth out the lyrics and organize the recording sessions. He also plays in another band full time. So really, Richard’s situation is not one that merits a they, when he’s been saying we all this time.

He’s glad Till noticed the change, but it doesn’t necessarily mean Till will approve. Richard expects he won’t, for no other reason than that Till may be able to talk him out of this. Till leans forwards, resting his chin on his hand, and thinks for so long Richard begins to fidget.

He eventually sighs. “Do your folks know."

Richard’s smile is not so wry this time. ”Do you let your old man know what’s going on in your life nowadays?"

"Sometimes I wish I could.” He says, which surprises Richard. Till pulls the basket to his lap and plucks at the reeds poking out from the handle. His tone is brooding, but he is very alert, perhaps more than he was with Richard’s plan. “He used to be a lot funnier, then he gave up drinking. Used to think that was great, because, well. More for me. (He grins guiltily.) But now I am old myself and all I know are conversations to have over a stiff drink, and he can no longer join me at the table. He made his commitment and he’s a free man; me, I can’t imagine doing the same, so I am not free.”

“You’re way too young to quit, anyway. You’re only twenty-six. Before you’re forty you can do just about anything, you can even sin.”

A little smirk. “And after that, Scholle?”

“Oh nein, not afterwards.” Richard grins, and brushes his mohawk back. It’s usually peaked up, but the combination of lying down and the heat has laid it out flat. “After forty you have to repent. Then God will forgive you, if Honecker hasn’t done it first.”

Till laughs out loud, his teeth gleaming white. Richard laughs too. The clouds have split and revealed the moon above their heads, still a sliver short of being full. The breeze smells grassy and tickles their hair. Soon, Richard thinks, soon he’ll be able to smell the first bite of the autumn chill; soon, if he’s still here for it. He straightens his back and sits up.

“No, my folks don’t know. Not about my life, and definitely not about wanting to cross the border. I’ve been thinking of doing this since I was sixteen. I didn’t do it then because I was scared, and I’m scared now.”

“What makes you less scared this time?”

Richard looks at him. “You heard they opened the border between Austria and Hungary?”

Till’s fingers tighten briefly on the basket, then relax again.

“I don’t know how long it’s going to be open,” Richard continues, watching closely, “but I know things are boiling over here. There will be an exodus.” He shakes his head. “None of us have connections in the West, Till. If things get really bad, we all ought to consider leaving. It’s already happening. Remember when Flake got arrested?”

“You think he can’t get out a second time.”

“I never assume the best-case scenario."

Till opens his mouth to speak, but stops. Slowly, he lies down, first on his side then fully onto his back, his legs dangling over the porch. Richard joins in. The basket lolls on Till’s stomach and the moon drowns out the starlight. Immersed in the loamy smell of the earth Richard waits, considering the conversation to follow. He can think of so many questions and has answers for so few of them.

When are you going? He doesn’t know if he ever will go, let alone the when. He has the uncomfortable feeling he’ll be forced into it when the time comes, and he at least wanted Till to know. I can’t go with you. Richard knows that already. Till’s daughter needs him. Why are you abandoning us at this time? He’s not abandoning them, he wants to set up a safe house to receive everybody in. Richard has never said this out loud, but he has always felt of little importance; better he go and be useful, rather than someone like Aljoscha leaving and destroying the band overnight.

Surely someone would buy into this response? Surely Till would?

But Till doesn’t ask either of those things. He doesn’t ask anything else Richard was expecting, in fact. After a long time, he merely asks: “Want some coffee?”

“... In this heat?”

Till heaves himself up on his arms and pads silently into the kitchen. Richard stares after him until he leans out from the doorway, shaking a jug he pulled out from the fridge. “Oh. Please.”

Soon they’re sitting side by side once more, glasses filled with cold coffee brew topped with ice and sweet creamy milk. One would think they were here to shoot the shit if not for the severity of their conversation. Thankfully, Till doesn’t let it descend that far. “Will it be cold when you go, do you think?”

“I...” Richard nurses his iced coffee anxiously. “I don’t know.”

Till nods. “My coat is real wool,” he says, and pushes his glass aside. Richard gasps as the other’s cool hand rests upon his own. “It’ll help in a pinch. You know where I am, Scholle, write to me. That’s all I ask.”

“...”

“Tell me if the moon is as bright over there as it is here.”

Richard looks at him. Slowly, he sets down his glass. With resigned finality, Richard sinks into Till’s shoulder, sliding down until his head is resting on the other’s lap. He need say nothing, not even to express his gratitude, for Till has touched his shoulder to indicate he understood. The radio crackles again; Till twists the dial; all over to the other end the pointer goes, until they hit a classical piece drifting silvery strings into the night. “Till.”

“Yes.”

He prays there will be moments this beautiful on the other side of the fence. However long it takes Till to join him, anyway. “This is good, isn’t it?” He whispers, and closes his eyes.

“Yes.” Till’s fingers play over Richard’s hair. “It is good.”

---------------

13: Watching the sun rise // Till/Richard

---------------

Till awakens to a cool breeze against his cheek.

He wonders where he is. For a moment he wonders if he’s still backstage, or staring up at the bold white lightbar of a tour bus, before he registers the noise of flowing water and a faint mist about his head. Just as he raises his head he hears the sound of footsteps, which come to a rapid stop next to him.

“Till.”

He blinks and looks into Richard’s face. Richard looks back at him just as carefully. Slowly, he yields his gaze, and turns to see where he is.

The airport lounge. The exclusive lounge, complete with bars, showers, and the fountain that’s currently misting up his hair from a distance. It is dark outside. They are the only people remaining. The pieces of the journey that exhausted him fall into place as Richard offers his hand. “Shall we go?”

“Yes.” His voice feels foreign to him. “Let’s go.”

Past the subdued halls they leave together. On the way they walk along a row of duty-free shops and Till glances at them all. It seems so long ago his world was littered with Intershops and other such outlets, duty-free and Ostmark-free and just free, generally speaking. He has grown into modern comforts, but sometimes, he still thinks about his youthful familiar life.

And to think he disliked it so much, back in the East. Nostalgia is the ultimate nullifier. Flake would have a field day if he knew.

The summer heat hits them like a blast to the face as they exit. All of their limbs are weighed down with lethargy. One look at each other, and they agree silently that they’re too tired to drive home. They need not wait long for the sunrise, they’ll endure until then. Their bandmates are long gone. Paul and Schneider went to an overnight hotel and Olli went to stay with a friend. Only Flake, a stubborn homebody, insisted on driving back. If Richard hadn’t parked here, maybe they’d have hopped a ride with him, Till and Richard curled up like overgrown cats in the back seat while Flake listens to one of his esoteric audiobooks. Richard is staying with him until the tour reconvenes, so they don’t need any stops on the way home - but oh, how far home seems from here.

And still the heat. Even away from the bustle of the airport it is suffocating. It’s a blessing when Richard points out an overnight cafe in a nearby kiosk. “Iced coffee?” He asks, referring to an old tradition they began thirty years ago, and chuckles as Till nods with eyebrows-raised desperation. He hands Till the keys. “Wait for me in the car.”

This Till does, happily. He sinks his head back in the passenger’s seat. The leather of the headrest is smooth and cool, and makes him sigh. But he’s a polite guest first and foremost, and so he affords himself only a brief rest before adjusting the environment to Richard’s liking.

First the A/C. Richard likes the overhead lights on when it’s dark. Till pulls out a new pack of cigarettes from his bag and puts it on the cup holder, his unspoken thanks to Richard for putting up with him tonight. And, of course, the radio:

- and now we meet in an abandoned studio, we hear the playback and it seems so long ago-

Till drowns that one out with the slider. But he’s smiling; the self-referencing parts of life are the best ones, they taught him all he knew. But he’d prefer the affirmative tonight, and before long he hits on something he and Richard both likes. He knows this because Richard knocks on his window the moment he sits back, and when he looks over, he finds the younger man smiling broadly.

- einfach fort mit der Musik, Schwebe so durch helle Räume, Keine Grenzen, keine Zäune!

Just in time.

Richard doesn’t need to say anything. Till rolls down the window; he passes Till’s iced coffee through, as well as a hot buttered pretzel. (He knows him so well, that Richard.) Till murmurs a thanks and takes a bite of the pretzel. The hot salt of butter floods his head and Till almost blacks out from the pleasure, every sense kickstarted by the taste. Richard chuckles as he climbs in beside him, timing a luxuriant sip of his frappé with the slam of the door.

“They know we’re coming to them, huh?”

“Must do. We have been quiet for many years.”

Richard removes the lid and gulps his coffee thirstily. With a relieved sigh he rolls down his window and rests his elbow upon it, wiping his brow with the side of his coffee-holding hand. Condensation drips down his fingers.

“I agreed with you, you know. That this ought to be the first single.”

The words sink like honeyed balm into his heart. Till laughs quietly. Promoting ‘Radio’ to first single was an idea overriden early in the planning process, and neither Till nor Richard protested at the time, but the sentiment means a lot to him.

The song ends. Promises more from ‘Rammstein’s new album’, then moves swiftly onto a prog rock track. Till finishes the pretzel and gulps down the iced coffee. It goes down sweetly, drives the heat from his brain, makes him alert.

Iced coffee is done so sophisticated nowadays. Some wouldn’t look out of place in a luxury ice-cream parlor. Till has no opinion on whether sophisticated coffee is good or bad, only that it’s a tie to his and Richard’s shared memory, much like moonlit summer nights and the radio. He didn’t exactly write that song about Richard, nor did Richard write his parts with Till in mind (he thinks, anyway), but they know they were referring to the same thing.

He looks at Richard. Richard, who’s just excavated Till’s gift for him, notices him looking in the midst of putting the cigarettes in his pocket. His blue eyes are pale from the light glancing off them. He seems to expect Till to say something, but is content to return the gentle gaze when Till does not. Yes, Till loves that. He loves that Richard is still by his side. He loves the taste of cold coffee, the dewy warmth of summer; especially the radio, which for so many years brought them the news, meted out hope and despair, and celebrated all the nights that couldn’t become the future. Their country is gone but they are still here.

They see what they only heard before.

The dashboard clock ticks four. The sun is rising in the horizon; it brings only with a pale blue light, rather than the expected gold or red, but the sun rises fast and early at this time of year. Soon that gentle blue will streak over Richard’s car, and then he’ll start the engine, and then they’ll go. Slowly, Till leans to the side, finally resting his head on Richard’s shoulder. Richard doesn’t mind. He moves in to make Till more comfortable. “Risch.”

“Yes.”

His eyelashes flutter shut as his friend strokes his hair, as if he were awaiting this moment since before the tour, before Rammstein, before the fall. “This is good, isn’t it?”

Richard’s hand cups his cheek. Till lifts his hand to press it close, his long eyelashes soft against calloused fingertips.

“Yes.” Richard whispers. “It is good.”

---------------------------------------------

NOTE: The set is done at last! I don’t usually append notes to drabble posts, but this turned out to be not-so-much drabbles as a doubleshot, or part of a longer fic. I really wanted to take my time on those because I hadn’t written for Rammstein in a very long time, and I got this for the effort 😂 You also gave parallel prompts, so I figured I might use that to reflect both perspectives of a Tillchard relationship!

The second piece is at some loose point during the summer of 2019, but the first has a definite date of the 27th of June 1989. This was the exact day when Austria and Hungary finished cutting their border fence, though the actual removal had begun some time during May. Cue many East Germans, whether on holiday or for this specific purpose, jumping the gap and rerouting through to West Germany; I think this must have been the same border Richard crossed when he fled the East, although he did it much later than he planned here. Flake was also definitely arrested at one point (and dodged several other attempts) by the authorities - for failing to get out of the way at a protest, if I remember correctly. I don’t have the exact quotes/page numbers for this event as described in Mix Mir Einen Drink, but I do remember reading it.

I hope you enjoyed this. Maybe I can expand this into something bigger or maybe this is it. But I enjoyed writing it a lot 💖

#ghostlovesc0re #rammstein fanfiction #fanfiction #tillchard #rammstein fic #drabble #summer prompts #long post under cut #i spent the longest time on this aha i hope it was worth it #thank you for requesting!!! <3 <3 <3

[pheita]

NaNo Update Day 11

Fuck, its the 11th? Seriously? Damnit, Corona made me forget that Carneval seasons starts today in Germany.  Anyway, I wrote 1504 today parted in two sessions. We have Liz entering the scene now and gosh the first encounter is so cute.

So I stand at 20.073/25.000  I think I will raise the goal to 40k. I mean, if I can write that much in 11 days with one day off, I manage to write 40k in a month.  And today’s snippet is presented by @writingamongthecoloredroses​ and the last line tag.  A short note for my international friends: Die Ärzte are a well known German punk rock band. I just realized a few days ago one of them is also called Rodrigo gg  And Becks is a beer brand coming from the city of Bremen and is bought the most of here in the north. Since Rodrigo had been in South Germany for a while he is used to a different brand.

Rodrigo got the entry band and knotted it around his wrist. The basses of a Rammstein song welcomed him right at the entrance. Since it was still early for the club there was not much going on. He sat down at the bar and took a deep breath. "Are you sure you want to be here?" asked the waitress behind the counter. Her blue dyed hair and the side cut was the first thing Rodrigo noticed about her, only then did he get the worried look. Actually, he had expected something else. "I am. Long day with job interviews." "Beer or something harder?" "Beer will do for now, thanks." She smiled encouragingly at him and left to get the beer. His eyes wandered across the room. There were already some people in the glass case for smoking, some smaller groups sat together, and he saw a familiar face in the crowd looking for an opportunity to lighten someone's wallet. "Your beer", the waitress got his attention again. Her questioning gaze was enhanced by the sparse lighting. "Do you have a question?" wondered Rodrigo. "I have never seen you here before." "I've been out of town for a while. Damn, I guess it's been, what, six years?" She nodded happily. "That explains it. I've been a waitress for five. Anything else I can do for you?" "Keep your pet cat away from my mice?" Her gaze went past him. Her eyes scanned the guests and darkened when she saw the young man he had already discovered. "Don't worry, he knows he'll get in trouble if he steals from my customers." "Good to know. And who do I report to if he forgets?" She laughed up, shaking her head. "That was elegant. I'm Liz." "Rodrigo. Most people say Rod." "Like that guy from the Ärzte, huh?" It didn't escape his notice that she was always looking at what was going on behind him. "Like that. I should have known you had good taste." Rodrigo took a sip of beer and looked at the label. "The wrong one?" "No, I'm fine. I just haven't had a Becks in a while."

Taglist @captainpenguin-fly​​ @merigreenleaf​​ @elenajohansenauthor​​ @adie-dee​​ @petrolstationflowers​​ @mouwwie​​ @writinginslowmotion​​ @chris-the-dragonslayer​​ @nana-writes​​ @viawrites-andacts​​ @bookishdiplodocus​​ @cometworks​

#writblr #writing #nanowrimo 2020 #guding star #day 11 #update #snippet

[so-this-is-my-blog-i-guess]

I was tagged by the always lovely @alwaysdearie

Tagging and stuff...

1. Nickname: Ma, Jilly, JC.

2. Zodiac: Cancer ♋️

3. Height: 5’3’ (I shrunk a little bit.)

4. Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff, no doubt.

5. Last song I googled: Public Image Ltd. - Bad Life https://youtu.be/96PCwD63iqQ

6. Favorite Musicians: Joey Ramone (the Ramones), Ian McCullough (Echo and the Bunnymen), Till Lindemann (Rammstein), Dave Gahan (Depeche Mode), Martin Gore (Depeche Mode), Mark Hollis (Talk Talk), Itzhak Perlman (violinist extraordinaire), Glenn Gould (Bach pianist extraordinaire), Gene Krupa (big band drummer), Warren Zevon (pianist/vocalist/musical storyteller), Waddy Wachtel (guitarist extraordinaire), Billie Jo Armstrong (Green Day).

7. Song stuck in my head: Talk Talk - Happiness Is Easy https://youtu.be/H1mPIHyldwY

8. Following: Over a thousand lovely folks, a lot of them haven’t been around in a while. I’ll pare it down some day.

9. Followers: Over 2500, most probably don’t exist on tumblr any more, a good amount are probably porn blogs who are inactive since the great porn purge.

10. Do you get asks?: Occasionally. I’m very irresponsible when it comes to answering them. I usually think they were mistaken in sending it to me. Then time passes, and guilt, fear, and irresponsibility take over my brain... and I neglect to answer. I’m sorry. I am well intentioned. 🤷🏼‍♀️

11. Amount of sleep: It never feels like it’s enough. Lately, it’s been about 7 hrs, but not often in succession... and often only with enough medication.

12. What are you wearing?: A nightgown and fuzzy slippers.

13. Dream job: As a young child, I’d wanted to be a stripper/hooker/porn thing, then I thought maybe a concert pianist but I was too fearful of the audience (so the younger dream was a no go, too), then photography, then I actually dared to pursue fashion design (*but my Mom’s cancer came back, and I had to leave the fashion school). But things have a way of not working out for me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

14. Dream trip: I’d always wanted to see Stonehenge, Glastonbury Tor (St Michael’s Tower), Cornwall, and Tintagel. But Disney World again some day would be wonderful.

15. Instruments: Piano, piano, and more piano. Also, guitar, ukulele, autoharp (I know), and church organ. *and steel drum.

16. Languages: American English. I took five years of Latin, but only remember a bit.

17. Ten favorite songs: Mac the Knife from Threepenny Opera, My Prayer - The Platters, The KKK Took My Baby Away - The Ramones, SLUG - The Ramones, Engel - Rammstein, Ich Tu Dir Weh - Rammstein, Exit Music (for a film) - Radiohead, Creep - Radiohead, Basket Case - Green Day, Nocturnal Me - Echo and the Bunnymen.

18. If you were an animal: A cat. I’ve been told by many that I must’ve been a cat in a past life. 🤷🏼‍♀️

19. Favorite food: Eggplant parm.

20. Random fact: I’ve had two houses burn down on me. One of which was haunted.

21. My aesthetic: Claude Monet Water Lilies, Victorian, with black and purple Wiccan/witchy stuff.

Not gonna tag anyone specifically. If anyone would like to do this, please consider yourself tagged by me.

#ramblings #about #about me #tagging #alwaysdearie #21 questions #*edit

[hanhan156]

Hanhan’s October writing challenge: Rammstein Halloween pt #15

The prompt: Two characters end up in a battle over which is better: ghostly horror movies or monster movies?

-

Movie streaming: either a blessing and an opportunity to spend quality time with your loved ones - or in Paul’s and Richard’s case, another excuse to argue over nonsense.

“Why is it always you who can choose a movie?” Paul exclaimed.

“Because my taste for anything is always the best,” Richard said, proud of himself. “Besides, you always end up falling asleep whatever we watch, so what does it matter in the end?”

What mattered for Paul was that he was too stubborn to give up - of course, he knew that arguing over some stupid flicks was a waste of time, but this was their typical way of communicating. “I want to watch something with creepy creatures. Godzilla would be funny!”

“No way, monsters are cheesy. I want something creepy,” Richard said and kept browsing the movie selection. “Paranormal Activity, I haven’t seen that yet, sounds interesting indeed…or maybe The Ring, that’s a classic.”

“We were supposed to have a romantic night, not a one that would scare us both shitless!” Paul didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t sleep for days when Richard had chosen to watch Saw a couple of weeks ago. He preferred something lighter now.

“C’mon Paulchen, this season is meant for spooky stuff.”

Paul wrapped a blanket tightly around him and pouted. “I hate you.”

Here we go again with the period mood swings… Richard sighed. “Is there really something bothering you now or why do you suddenly hate me so much?”

Paul didn’t answer - instead, he headed for the kitchen, still wrapped in the blanket, muttering on himself: “He never understands anything, verdammt…so full of himself…”

Richard was left alone in the living room, confused. For a moment he wondered that maybe he would just let his boyfriend sulk alone - probably he would calm down soon.

Or what if not? What if he really was offended?

Even though how much they enjoyed bantering each other, of course, Richard didn’t want Paul to be angry at him for real.

Sigh. This was like a kindergarten kids’ arguing on a sandbox. Maybe it would be the easiest to apologize even though Richard didn’t know from what.

He came to the kitchen as well and wrapped his arms around Paul, who was standing in front of a window, staring in the darkness.

“Honey, I’m sorry if I made you upset.”

“Yes, you are a master of upsetting me indeed.”

Richard turned his boyfriend to face him and saw that his eyes were actually glossy. Shit, maybe I was an ass earlier. “I’m really sorry, let’s not be childish.”

“And who had been the stubborn child earlier, huh?”

Richard caressed his boyfriend’s cheeks gently. “Is there something you’d like to tell me, or do you want to just keep reminding how asshole I am?”

Paul went silent for a while, fidgeting with the blanket and trying to avoid the other man’s eyes.

“It’s always you who can choose everything! Do you care about my opinions at all?” he burst out finally.

“Of course, I care, I didn’t mean to ignore you earlier…”

“I felt ignored indeed,” Paul answered bitterly.

Richard kept caressing his boyfriend and wasn’t sure what he could say to make him feel better.

After a brief pondering, he had an idea. “Maybe if movies just make us upset, we could do something else instead.”

“Like what?”

“Well, maybe we’ll just close the computer and our phones for a while and for example, have a walk together. We could have dinner afterward.”  Richard nibbled Paul’s ear and whispered with a sly voice: “And perhaps something else also later in the evening..”

That’s unfair… Paul knew he was already sold when Richard kept purring to his freaking ear. His boyfriend knew perfectly well his weak spot and ruthlessly used it every time he had a chance. “Fine, but one condition.” Paul cupped the other man’s cheeks and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Anything, mein Liebling.”

“I choose everything and you don’t say a thing. Not complaining, no pouting, nothing. You are at my mercy for the rest of the evening.”

“It’s a deal.”

Then they both chuckled and shared a deep kiss.

“Are we fine now?” Richard asked, relieved.

“Maybe for now,” Paul said and pressed more kisses on his boyfriend’s face, “but don’t you dare to think you’ll get out always this easily.”

#rammstein #31horrificdays #richard kruspe #paul landers #paulchard #halloween story #short story #october challenge #fanfiction #my fics

[thecultoftill]

A making of Deutschland report from an extra.

It was January, the weather was bad, I was driving somewhere by car and the phone rang. The screen showed: Albert Neumann P1945. With Albert, we've known each other for years and our groups, namely Die Freiwilligen  and Pomerania 1945, work quite closely together.

- Dietmar? I heard in the phone.

- Listen, I have a tip from a friend in Germany and there is a chance to play in a music video, the video is being shot in Berlin in two weeks for a well-known rock band from Germany... 8 people from your group are needed.

- Which band? - I can't tell you... -  C'mon Albert, just tell me, if it's a band beginning with "R"? - Don't tell anyone, nobody! Because I'll rip your head off and nothing will come out of it!  The rest will find out when they're on a bus. - We're going!

The rest of the events unfolded quickly, earlier plans, arrangements, holidays, family parties, etc. - everything ceased to have any meaning and was thrown out of our calendars. Six of us: Dietmar Kuptz, Rene Grzenkowicz, Szymon Poredo, Thomass Woerle, Tomasz Wylamowski and Arkadiusz Telak decided in a few seconds - we're going. From Pomerania 1945 present were Albert Neumann, Francesco Giacomelli, Jan Majewski, Szymon Szewczyk, Henryk Kaźmierczak and Bogumił Gierlotke.   First we travelled to Poznań, where it was confirmed that the music video was indeed for Rammstein. Then we travelled further, to the unforgettable Amadeus hotel in Berlin. We were taken by a bus arranged by the film crew.

I do not need to add that we were integrating with the only sounds appropriate for such a trip, and the most often repeated sentence was: "I wonder what the video will be about". We did not know what to take with us when it comes to the equipment, so we took everything. For some, it meant taking some large bags and suitcases full of uniforms and props out of the house.

On the set (first day the filming took place in the ruins of a monastery) we went early in the morning and quite quickly understood why filming is considered so exhausting: it means waiting, waiting and even more waiting. After many hours we finally got a message – dress up. Initially, we thought that we would play only German soldiers - we were prepared for that - but we learned quite quickly, that if we want, we can play completely different roles and characters. And here we experienced the first shock: it turned out, that the movie will include medieval monks, Polizei special forces, medieval knights, DDR era uniforms... That's all we saw, being on the set and changing costumes. The question remained, how (and if) the band puts it together in a sensible whole. We had various theories: maybe it will be a narcotic vision of someone who mentions the past, maybe deathbed memories of a passing life, thoughts and hallucinations of a dying soldier...

The black beauty was equally mysterious – first we saw her in the knight's armor, which in itself provoked questions. "Are we making a fantasy movie?" Our suitcases still contained German uniforms from the Second World War.

We worked until late night. In addition to the scenes in the old monastery (we played the role of monks), we also took part in scenes in a real, now closed prison in the center of Berlin (the role of rebellious prisoners). I must say that the prison scenes were quite exciting and they gave much joy at the same time. Thus, when we returned to the hotel in the morning, we were frozen and very tired - just like the members of the band, who were on set until the very end.

Next day in the morning we heard that men in SS uniforms are needed, we changed our clothes into the WW2 ones and marched on with the film crew to the military beat: Links! Links! Links! You would have to see Till Lindemann's face expression as he saw us marching in full uniforms... The set was located in an abandoned factory and here another comes another curiosity - those of us who knew the previous activity of the director of the video (Specter), knew he was the founder of  Aggro Berlin label, immediately recognized this characteristic place with the music videos of German rappers such as SIDO, FLER or B-TIGHT.

After a while, we experienced a real shock. In the middle of the square, where the movie set was located, there was a gallow with four nooses. When one of our colleagues saw that, he said out loud what everyone thought: "I've been in reconstruction for years, I've been on many re-enactment's but it was never THAT hardcore." At the time, while filming the hanging scenes, we did not know what role they would play in the whole video, but we knew one thing - nothing is simple and unambiguous in Rammstein's work.

We could be sure that this is a controversial provocation, which ultimate goal was to force the viewer to think about the scenes he had watched, but we still had no idea in which context the scenes that were so brutal and that showed the worst moments of German history would be used.

During the shooting of those scenes, we got a bit closer to the band - it was cold, so during the breaks and while warming hands at the fireplace, Till offered everyone... Absolut vodka. The fire - and the fiery water - bring people closer... This was also the case this time. Thanks to such small gestures, we will remember the work on the set as an amazing experience.

The members of the band behaved like ordinary people, they were even slightly annoyed by their harassing assistants. It turned out that the recordings will not end in the announced two days, and will be continued until late night. However, it was time for us to go home. The bus engine was warming up. Some of the colleagues, including the guys from Pomerania, stayed on the final recordings. They were shooting pictures of a big battle, on a huge battlefield, burning at the stake and riots in unspecified time in one of the German cities.

In the night, when burning bus was glowing (scene from the riots), about 3AM in the morning, Specter shouted "We got this, thank you everyone!", people shouted, cheering and rewarded the team with an applause. Both the film crew and the team thanked the participants with a handshake, in person! Before we left, we looked around looking for the band members. When the vocalist Till Lindemann passed us, we were speechless, he was dressed in knight's armor, pierced with a few swords - his look combined with fatigue on his face made an electrifying impression on us. We got autographs, wishes for safe travel and we went home in a messy way, in fact, we do not really believe in what we've experienced in the last two days.

While going to the set, we were quite confused and didn't know what to expect, on the way back we were completely lost. How do we put everything together? What is the meaning of all this? We tried to make various hypotheses, referring to the song "Deutschland" which was released played several times on the set (yes, we heard the song already in January), but still we could 't come up with a coherent story. We had to wait until the premiere.

The atmosphere became dense a few days earlier when the band released the teaser into the scene - as it turned out later, that was closing the 9-minute music video. As you know, the media heated up, Rammstein was accused of ridiculing the Holocaust, disrespecting the historical approach, and even insulting the memory of the victims. On March 28 at 18.10, after watching the music video, everything became clear.

The band once again used people's tendency to generalize and reproduce stereotypes. The video turned out to be a unique depiction of the German history, a country which the lyrical subject "cannot give his love" - among other things due to the difficult past of the homeland. We won't hide that most of our colleagues are die-hard Rammstein fans, and the participation in the recording for "Deutschland" music video was the greatest adventure in our lives! We built a monument for the rest of our lives, and even posthumously...

It was a nice surprise to see our names in the final credits of the music video. In addition to our two groups, the music featured our colleagues from historical re-enactment groups: Dragoner, Bellum, Maienburg152IR, Rogatywka 1918-1939 and Erhard M17. They played the role of soldiers of the imperial German army from the First World War.

Found on Rammstein Belgium FB.

#Rammstein #Deutschland #Deutschland video #Till Lindemann #Rammstein making of