#this is from my favourite song - saturn by sleeping at last | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swordheld · 6 months

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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

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monsterrae1 · 1 year

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🎶✨️When you get this you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, publish, then send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ✨️🎶

Tagged by these two amazing humans @shortsighted-owl @alyxmastershipper

1 Secret Love Song Pt II by Little Mix

I just feel like this is the perfect song for a love that hurts, that you want to shout they're yours but you just can't. Idk, I love the pain and devotion in it. Like the chorus is just chef's kiss:

Why can't I hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

2 The Last Time (feat Gary Lightbody) Taylor's version by Taylor Swift

There's just something about saying "This is it, I'm not putting myself through this for someone who doesn't want me" and then doing it over and over. Like:

This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong This is the last time I say it's been you all along This is the last time I let you in my door This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore

that's good stuff to cry to (or write to)

3 Saturn by Sleeping at last

There's something about the music in this song that just always captivates me, and the entire lyrics are just so beatiful, since the first time that I heard this song I fell in love If i copy and pasted anything from it, it'll just be the entire song tbh

4 Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

I don't even know why I'm obsessed with his song but I've been since the first time the album came out; like the missing oportunity of it all it's just, very dear to my heart. I think about this part at least once a day:

Forgive me, I'm trying to find My calling, I'm calling at night I don't mean to be a bother But have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams And it's driving me crazy, it seems I'm going to ask her to marry me

5 Save me by Hanson

Shout out if you're old enough to remember Hanson and their second album. I don't even know how long I've been obsessed with save me, but damn the pain in this song just gets to me every time.

If suddenly the sky is falling Could it be too late for me If I never said I'm sorry, then I'm wrong, yes, I'm wrong Then I hear my spirit calling Wondering if she's longing for me And then I know that I can't live without her

A friend went to see them live last year and she didn't know any of their songs so she couldn't record this one for me and I'm forever sad about it.

Tagging if they want to do this: @peaceofficerdiaz @katries @loveyourownsmiilee @rogerzsteven @buddierights @swiftiediaz @lostinabuddiehaze @prettyboybuckley @elvensorceress @eddiesbleps @jobairdxx @spotsandsocks @the-likesofus

#music tag game #as you can see i only listen to sad music #emo for life i guess

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bakerstreethound · 8 months

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🪻-since it's your anniversary, What has been your favourite experience here on Tumblr and what are you most looking forward to in the future? :)

🎻- saturn, sleeping at last & cherry wine, hozier <3

Hi Ali! Thank you for sending this in, I appreciate you (:

I can't think of one singular favorite experience I've had here on Tumblr, but I think it has to be meeting all these wonderful artists and writers such as you who are always so kind and give the most wonderful feedback. Another one was when I went out on a limb and introduced the Sherlock community to my softer version of Sherlock (Strawberry Sherlock) and he ended up being accepted without question and it makes me smile. In the future, I'm not sure what I'm most looking forward to but probably finding more fandoms and other wonderful writers and people on this platform.

Music/Song things - There will be spoilers for Good Omens Season 2 here so look away of you haven't seen it, yet!

Saturn by Sleeping at Last and Cherry Wine by Hozier: I can't decide who fits each song more if it's Aziraphale & Crowley or Crowley and Aziraphale. (I may have gotten carried away, but I hope you enjoy it! And may need its own post soon)

Both of these songs make me think of their separation and Aziraphale reminiscing about the first time he met Crowley in the skies as he was creating the nebula all beautiful and sublime and not a care in the world.

Orbiting Souls

Aziraphale would find himself searching for Crowley's smile any hints of him lingering but Heaven is oh so lonely and bleak, his status as Archangel changing nothing other than making him feel more alone and craving for a time back on Earth. Nothing is the same, not without Crowley.

Crowley is doing very much the same as he drinks alone curled up in the safety of the Bentley and he finds himself looking up at the stars wondering when his angel will be back, remember the error of his ways.

Say give it six months or so (felt like an eternity), Crowley goes back to the bookshop patrolling around it, he can't exactly help it and on the floor, there's his angel, his wings spread as if he's just collapsed.

Aziraphale pulls himself to his feet, looking at a perplexed Crowley who shuffles his feet, unsure what to do. He pushes his sunglasses higher on his face, expression bleak as if he's in a dream.

"Crowley- I'm...I'm so sorry," Aziraphale speaks quietly, his voice rough, his purple hues almost startling Crowley with their intensity. Since when had Zira gotten so close? His body thrummed, he wanted to pull away but Aziraphale is magnetizing even with a new shade of eyes.

His angel came back for him. He knows this, feels it. Crowley doesn't pull away, not when Aziraphale strokes his cheek, shy and unsure, fully taking in the contour of his face, tracing his thumb along Crowley's lips, stained red from the countless bottles of wine he'd consumed.

"Could you ever forgive me? I realized....I...I was wrong I can't do this without you. I was wrong about Heaven, I was wrong about us, I should've chosen you....It's always been you, Crowley and I-"

"Oh, angel," Crowley hesitates before stroking his finger over Aziraphale's cheek, starting into a hopeful tear-stained gaze, his hand falling to the small of Aziraphale's back. "You know I have nothing more to say on the matter. I gave you time."

The silence passes eerily quiet.

"Yes and I came back! For my sake I...I adore you Crowley. I can't bear to be without you. The universe calls your name to me every hour of the day! I'm hopeless without you. I'm nothing."

Aziraphale shakes in Crowley's arms, sobs staining the front of his shirt, burning through and he bites back a hiss. And there they stay in each other's embrace before Crowley pulls Aziraphale on to the sofa, the one that has years of history between them and Aziraphale says nothing, tears brimming in his eyes again as he leans into Crowley, oh so carefully taking off his glasses.

"Won't you say something?"

"I -"

That's all Crowley manages before Aziraphale's lips are meeting his own and he doesn't break away, feeling the love, the blinding truth shining through. Aziraphale has broken away, they were an us, it was them and nothing more than the universe. Just as it should been and as it shall always be. Crowley has never felt freer than to fall again, gracefully this time into the arms of an angel who had finally, finally come to their senses.

******

Her fight and fury is fiery, oh, but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful, I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing

******

With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

******

#starks-hero #ace's 5yr anniversarry #celebration #tumblr love #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens 2 #gos2 spoilers

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noa-nightingale · 11 months

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Hey just saw your post about feeling good about yourself and just wanted to let you know you're one of my favourite people here, and you really prove your blog header by being so rare and beautiful <3

That is so very sweet of you. I am glad you are having a good time on my blog! ^-^

Also love what you said about my header because that is very dear to be tbh.

"How rare and beautiful" are song lyrics from Saturn by Sleeping at Last and I found that song in this yt video with Ryan and Shane. The first time I watchd it, it made be cry. It is very very gorgeous and I recommend that every Watcher/BFU fan watches it. :3

It's one of my favorite songs and one of my favorite Ryan and Shane vids, so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it.

Wishing you the best! May your days be filled with warmth and peace. <3

#anon

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yuelun · 1 year

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

Interrupting writing (only momentarily) because everyone is doing this thing and after-dinner fatigue is absolutely kicking my ass. And also, let it be known, Min, that I hope you knew exactly what me answering this was gonna look like. /drum rolls (also I need people to know that this has been playing in the background this whole time and I'm jamming out).

What's your phone wallpaper: Zhongli. But I edited the picture way too monumentally much in Photoshop. On my phone, it has a black background., I've dimmed it because I don't like my backgrounds to be overall too bright, I've selectively brightened some of the veins/lines along his arms and legs— he's a beautiful man and he's beautiful on my phone, he's been on there since I first found the picture months ago.

Last song you listened to: 'Saturn' by Sleeping at Last, but specifically the violin version with Tim Fain. Since I called myself out on this yesterday, the following should come as no surprise: it's my ultimate favourite song for Zhongli/Guizhong, specifically from his perspective after her passing. Aside from that however, it's also simply one of my absolute favourite songs that soothes me to the core every time I listen to it. .

Currently reading: It's been paused for a while, but things I've most recently picked up and haven't finished? 'City of Souls' by Cassandra Clare, a franchise I love dearly, even if nothing will measure up to the first three books.

Last movie: Final Fantasy VII: Last Order, I'm a huge Zack Fair fanatic. But also, it's been a while since I've actively engaged in watching a full film because I don't currently have the attention span for it.

What are you wearing: I live in loungewear or a mix/match of lounge/sleepwear and other clothes; I'm just that kind of girl. Granted, with all the moving abroad twice over in the last two years— I no longer have all of my comfy things. I'll restock. But currently my pyjama pants, short sleeved turtleneck, fuzzy sweater and fuzzy socks. If you ever see me inside of my home without fuzzy socks or fuzzy slippers (you know, like those that look like animals? I'll be 65 one day and still wear them), you know I'm not doing well.

Piercings / tattoos: Neither. I don't even have my ears pierced and it's not even for any specific reason, because I'd like to get them pierced. I just never... got... around to getting them pierced? I would like to possibly get a script tattoo under my collarbone, or something on my inner lower arm in white ink (I do have specific ideas as to what, shh).

Glasses / contacts or both? I'm nearsighted, so glasses, technically— but my eyes either got worse or better over time and my old glasses now give me a headache. I haven't gotten new ones yet, but I see well enough to be okay in the meantime. But soon.

Last thing you ate: ... Chocolate. But I heated up my chicken stew. I love, love, love a good stew or roast. And honestly, I'm on a fries and cheesy pasta binge, so I'll likely have one of those later tonight as a snack as I will, very likely, once again stay up until 6am writing and doing my own head in, because I'm right back there.

Favourite colour(s): Depends on whether we're talking clothes or otherwise. Black is a safe answer, but I like a lot of my accessories in white.

Current Obsession: Guizhong, (Kay, don't look) Zhongli, the Guili Assembly, Liyue the greatest nation in any game to have existed ever; yes, in that order. I guess also coffee. And also, none of these are only 'current' obsessions, they're going to be my obsessions well into any kind of perpetuity. No, I don't need help, I'll drown here very happily. :)

Do you have a crush? Are we including video games because of so... absolutely not, obviously. Geez.

Favourite fictional characters? /takes a breath. Guizhong, Guizhong, Guizhong— oh, others? Okay, uh, Zhongli... Madame Ping, Cloud Retainer, Osial, Marchosius/Guoba because I'm absolutely insane, Yaoyao (did you know that Yuegui, her bunny, was made by Cloud Retainer? I still cry over that), Nahida (she's the only non-Liyue character but I'm in total and utter love), Ganyu (I'm so close to adding her as an NPC on this blog, I swear to god), SKY BRACER-- I have a problem, I'm aware. I'm just absolutely feral over Liyue and it's fine. Let's move on before I expose my love for them too much more.

Tagged by: Literally no one, no one asked for my madness; they knew better Tagging: Be sneaaaaaky. <3

#[ et cetera. ] we think of human life as like a lantern that's lit one minute and extinguished the next. but are we adepti so different?#[ for anyone who knows me-- tell me you're surprised i rambled. truly-- tell me. ]#[ with a /straight face/ tell me that you're surprised. ]#[ ooc. ] wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains…

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seventhscorpio · 2 years

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You can often tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Put your favourite playlist/music library on shuffle and list the first ten songs that come up, then tag ten people to do the same. No skipping!

Tagged by @wonderwafles <3

Taking these from my Liked songs on spotify because wow imagine having a playlist with all the songs I listen to istead of just finding them in the wild, through the search bar, every time...

Read All About It, Pt. III - Emeli Sandé

Too Heavy A Burden - The Tiny

11:11 - Grzegorz Turnau

...Familiar Place - Lucy Dacus

Sweet Nothing - Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch

Overture - from Phantom of the Opera

Got It Good - One Two

Saturn - Sleeping At Last

Way Down We Go - KALEO

Betrayed - from The Producers

Tagging @eri-223 @synnthamonsugar @savyir-genesizz-the-wizard @svedupelle @shadowtriad @a-driftamongopenstars @bioluminosity @xazz @drifterssidechick and @coldkryptonitecupcake, if you guys feel like it c:

#from this list you can tell my music taste is all over the place lol #mine #tag game #music

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backtomycorner · 2 years

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Music Tag Game

I was tagged by @just-a-cup-of-anxietea Thank you! I listen to...random things.

Rules: You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your favourite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag a few people!

Shadow Stabbing, Cake

Crossfire, Brandon Flowers

All Night, Parov Stelar

Saturn, Sleeping at Last

Blood on My Name, The Brothers Bright

Kids, MGMT

Woman, AWOLNATION

Trouble, Cage the Elephant

Life's Been Good, Joe Walsh

Personal Jesus, Depeche Mod

I tag @englishgradinrepair because she needs a break from thesis writing.

#music tag #me #tag game

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hyperesthesias · 2 years

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Tagged by: @2clones-1kamino ! List your top favourite songs!

No particular order!

Piangerò la sorte mia from Guilio Cesare by Georg Friedrich Handel.

Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen from The Magic Flute by Amadeus Mozart.

In the Line of Duty (Remix) from The X-Files score by Mark Snow.

Love Hurts by Incubus.

Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day.

When the Day Met the Night by Panic! at the Disco.

Still Breathing by Green Day.

The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance.

Saturn by Sleeping at Last.

Christmas Island by Depeche Mode.

[Bonus Track: Suite en re de Robert de Visée composed by Marin Marais.]

No pressure tags!: @notawomanbutagodd ; @moonstrider9904 ; @lost-in-fandom-land ; @fangirl-goes-nova ; @littlefeatherr.

#i love music so much 😭#there are so many more i could include #but i tried to get the few that mean the most to me #but ive still left out so many lol

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kolomo · 4 months

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when you get this ask you have to answer with 5 of ur fav songs and then send this ask to 10 of ur favourite followers :)

(from userfrieren)

hi jenna !!! i just saw this 🩷

in no particular order:

kill all your friends - my chemical romance / gooey - glass animals / saturn - sleeping at last / 4am - bastille / stay away from my friends - pierce the veil

#theres so many more lol... esp mcr glass animals and bastille #i have a 'forever favs' playlist but only like two of these are on that for some reason HAHA #answered #also im on my phone and dont have the patience to pass this on ... sowwy

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write-lets-do-this · 1 year

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This week, the artist I’m going to be focusing on is Sleeping At Last, a creative project whose albums, particularly the Atlas series, centre around various concepts and themes as components of the whole album.

The first of their songs to come to my attention was Saturn, from Planets II in their first Atlas album. It captures a melancholy yet hopeful energy, sung with an emotive, subtle voice that mingles beautifully with the ethereal background music.

Upon delving into the rest of Sleeping At Last’s discography, I found that they had a wonderful array of musical pieces that captured feelings both similar and different to that that I felt the first time I heard Saturn. Considering that both of the existing Atlas albums contain thirty songs each, I have yet to listen to them all, but from what I’ve heard so far, I have to say the first album is my favourite.

Perhaps it is merely that the astronomical names of the songs call to the part of me that drove me to take Physics as an A-level solely on the promise of having a module of astrophysics that I never actually got to study before dropping out, or maybe it is simply that it hearkens most to the sort of music I was expecting when I sought out their other songs after only listening to Saturn. Either way, I am sure to find favourites from the rest of their albums as I listen through them.

Sleeping At Last, like many of the other artists I’ve recommended in this series, makes for great writing music, especially in the variety of tones that appear throughout their discography. The magical undertone of their music certainly leans towards the fantastical side of my authorly persona, although I imagine songs like Saturn could also be well-used in the playlist of anyone writing with romance as their main genre.

Have you heard any of Sleeping At Last’s music before? Perhaps, upon listening to some of it, you might recognise one of their songs from Twilight: Breaking Dawn part one or maybe part of Touch or You are Enough from Tiktok. If you do, make sure to let me know in the comments!

-Olive Tree

#my blog #writing #music #sleeping at last #atlas 1 #new-age music

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watch-my-cosmic-death · 1 year

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Heyy!!

I'm so so sorry I have taken this long to respond. I've been a little out of it and social media has been a little too much the last few days. Thank you for being so patient with me though<3 I really appreciate it!!

I totally agree with you. I think simplicity is beautiful and too overlooked. Something doesn't have to be super complicated and difficult to be enjoyed. Connection with somebody over a shared interest or knowledge is such a fun thing! I absolutely love when it happens from time to time!

OHMYGOSH!! Yes that's so amazing!! You've done so well, I'm so very proud of you!! I'm so excited for Friday! I really hope you like it there!

No but I totally get that. The lights are so much and for why? Like we can all see just fine if you turn a few(or most) of them off. Honestly before working at a coffee place, I didn't really like coffee or how it smelled for anything. But now! I love the smell so much and it's so nice walking into somewhere when they have brewed a fresh pot of coffee. We have the best taste, you're absolutely right lol I think most people are really turned off by matcha, just because of all the negative stuff they have heard about it. But it's so damn good. You just have to find the right combination with it, is all.

It's definitely helped that I've had a while to think it through. I used to have a lot of anger towards that place but being angry at them isn't going to change what happened there. So might as well turn it into something else. But thank you!! You really are so sweet:))))

I'm so glad my job had helped with my social abilities. Although I love being alone most of the time, it's taken a toll on me. So it's nice, sometimes, to be able to talk to so many people. Though, as honestly this might just be me and my own problems, some days I have to remind myself that most of the people I work with care about what I have to say. And that they want to talk with me and listen to me. I don't know, I just have to remind myself some days.

No I haven't looked at those but I absolutely will now!!! Seeing professional photographs of space is such a wonderful thing. I feel so honored to be able to see them. I absolutely think there is other people out there. I think that it's incredibly narcissistic of humanity to think that we are the only ones out here. Though on the long list of specie's in our galaxy and others, we are not even close to being at the top. I'd actually argue that we are at the bottom. My favourite planet has got to be Saturn! And I have always have a love for Pluto. Though I think it deserves it's planet status back>:( I also think that we should have more respect for space. Like we have left so much junk out there, in our orbit and outside of it. So much shit out there littering the beautiful thing that we call space. But what do you think? Do you have a favourite planet or star? Do you have any other options on space? I'd love to hear them!!

Oh awesome! I love getting into a great book without even meaning too! I love getting to know the characters and starting to see them more like friends and less like made us people on the pages. I don't know that might just be me though lol I'm happy to hear you like it so much!

I'm so happy that you love our conversations as much as I do!!! You're so sweet and such a great person to talk to. I think you're so cool and I'm honored to get to know you<33:)

Honestly I have so many songs that I like right now, but I've been getting back into some of Rihanna's stuff and some of Selena Gomez's songs as well. I've also been listening to alot of Sleep Token too. I love music so much and I think I would probably do insane or die without it lol

I'm doing a lot better today. Thank you!! Again I'm so sorry for taking so long to respond. Everything as been a bit too much recently so I just of ghosted all my social media for a bit there.

How are you doing though? How has your day been? I hope the ending to your book isn't that bad but sometimes sad endings can be really nice. I hope you have day a good and successful day!! Thank you for being so patient with me<33:'))

Hii!:)

Please don’t apologise, I completely understand. You can take all the time you need to respond, as long as you’re taking care of yourself! :) <33 I do hope you feel better soon, and if you need someone to listen or someone to talk to, I'm here if you need.

One of my favourite simply things is light beams. Especially when there's smoke in the air. They're beautiful. I love when you can put your hand in front of them and watch as the light slips through your fingers and dances across your skin. You're right, the simpleness of things is far too overlooked and criminally underrated. I feel we overlook true human connection too. Just being in a moment with someone, knowing and embracing that. I find you don't get that much any more, or I don't, I don't know. This paragraph got sad - Moving on!

Stopp- I'll cry, you're so lovely. You're too sweet to me! Thank youuuu!!! :) I'm also excited, and I really hope I like it too. <3

Right! It's blinding! I tell you who'd like it. Moths. (That's my lame attempt at humour.) - The smell of coffee is like a warm hug, or what I'd imagine a comfortable hug would feel like. It's so pleasant. But I can definitely see why at first you wouldn't like it. As I Brit I was more accustomed to the smell of tea lmao. Now I prefer the smell of coffee. :) - I agree! I drink it in tea form also, and my aunt always gives me looks because of it. It's an acquired taste, sure, but there are so many ways to have it!

That's such a healthy mindset!! You're so admirable. I agree thinking through, around, over and under things really helps you grab all outlooks and process things in a healthier way. :) You're killing me with these compliments, by the way!

I'm happy working there has helped you socially! I think reminding yourself is great. It kinda slows the part of your brain telling you otherwise. It disrupts the thought and replaces it. :) Though, anyone who's ever told you such things clearly can't see how intelligent and cool you are to converse with. Therefore, they don't deserve to engage with you because you deserve so much better. I love reading what you have to say! You're fucking awesome, and you make really good points in conversations. What you have to say matters. You matter! <3 :)

Your brain and your opinions! Ah! I love them!! I love that Jupiter is your favourite planet. :) In our solar system; I love Neptune. I think it's stunning. Not that the others aren't- I just really like Neptune. It would be Pluto, though. I love that little dude. It's most definitely should get its states back. How rude of us to just do that to him. :( - Honestly, when I first saw how much we just let float away in space, I was shocked. These are massive piece of artificial machinery just floating about. Space certainly deserves more respect! You'd think we'd learn from our actions here on the thing that holds us. Furthermore, if any of the bigger chunks collied with operating equipment, it'll create even bigger issues! - I really like Nebulas. Of all kinds, especially the ones where they're so big they create stars as the other die off. The Cosmic Cliffs actually are one of the biggest we know of that is basically a birthing place for new stars. The dust clouds are so dense they just keep forming. I'd love to see that in inferred. It'd be cool to see what galaxy's lay within in it or beyond it. Damn- I'm writing a lot lmao, sorry. I also agree that it's arrogant to think we are the only ones. I'd love to be alive when we find even a plant on another planet. Space is endless possibilities, and that's both scary and comforting. I like actually talking about it, too! This is extremely cool. Thank you! :)

No, I totally get what you mean! I took me less than a few pages to feel like I was somehow there and understanding the characters with great depth. It's truly a magnificent thing to get lost within a book. Sometimes it doesn't even seem like a book any more, just a wonderland in your mind. What kind of books do you like? Are you currently reading anything?

Ok, now I am blushing, god damn! You're too nice to me- I'm honoured to get to know you! You're so fucking lovely and kind! You're extremely cool and you have a wonderful mind. You're absolutely lovely to talk too. :) <33

Rihanna is like a god to me and has been since the Please don't stop the music video dropped on MTV. Little me was hypnotised! I also like Selena Gomez. Oddly, though, I never acknowledge that I'm a fan of hers. Sleep Token is a dope ass name- What kind of music do they make? Do you have any favourites of theirs? I love finding new music, so any suggestions of yours I'll listen too. Clearly you have great taste! - I feel the same lmao.

I'm so happy to hear you've been doing better today! And again, please don't apologise. As much as I love our conversations, which is an awful lot, I can wait for a response, I promise. You have to look after yourself first! <33

I don't actually know, I've been swinging between emotions. Today was a bit slow- I chilled with my dogs all morning watching crime documentaries. My family came around for the first time in two weeks, and it was just sad. Or I was? I don't know, but it snowed! I feel like I'm in a Tim Burton movie and I find that super cool! Thank you for asking, by the way. I really appreciate it. :)

How were you today??? And how was your day?? I hope it went well and that you're feeling better! You can take all the time in the world to respond, please never feel pressured to respond. I'd rather you be ok. <33

(It also dawned on me earlier that I don't actual know your name… which is like a tad awkward to bring up right now, but I digress. I've literally just been referring to you as Ray or Raz in my brain. I just wanted to ask instead of assuming. If it helps, I go by Rj, which I think I told you already. I don't know, I feel awkward now. Please don't hate me, Ok byeeeeee ) <3

#Take all the time you need to respond!#i mean it!#r #asksss

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zialinart · 2 years

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are there any specific songs that remind you of your own favourite character from a show/game/books? can you make a song lists? :)

There's the song saturn from Sleeping at last, always makes me think of Shepard and Liara (my otp from mass effect)

I don't think about any other song but if I do I'll let you know !

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pepsicup · 3 years

Text

Problems Of A Spaceman

Chris Beck x Stripper!Reader 6.4k words

Summary: Chris attempts to gain some confidence back after his fiancée leaves him, though, the journey is different than he thought it would be... (smut, mentions of cheating, self-deprecation, exotic dancing, space kink because duh, dope fucking music choice if I do say so myself)

Author note: yes I did write this four years ago, this is an updated version since I recently found it after deleting my other blog, enjoy.

2037

It shouldn’t even be a thing. Chris didn’t get nervous, this was something new for him. After thirteen years of education, five standard spacewalks and a back-to-back trip to the newly colonized neighbouring red planet, nothing should phase him anymore – but that was space. There were things significantly more nerve-wracking than his current situation; perhaps he was better at being an astronaut than fulfilling his social and romantic life.

While taking all the prerequisites required for NASA and in medical school, he didn’t have time for fraternizing with anyone, most people in the medical field experience that. It was a miracle that he could even keep the attention of his ex-fiancée during the mission to Mars since he didn’t exactly know how to flirt. No matter how intelligent he was, all of that did nothing to help him in his personal life and everything that came with it.

Furthermore, the sexual aspect was a problem for him, too.

He’s never had an opportunity to explore himself with another person, of course, he’s had plenty of sex but, it was nothing more than the standard modus operandi. Beth was hard to navigate, she was disengaged and blatantly selfish, eventually blaming him for her unfaithful tendencies and lack of interest when he was the only one making an effort. It ended as it began, a complete circumstantial shitshow and because of that, he is on a mission to gain self-confidence back.

Since she kicked him out, he’s been sleeping in the spare room of his good friends’ house for the last couple of months while his new apartment is being renovated. Mark Watney was a single man who knew what that position felt like, and who also knew the beginnings of a solution. The ability to pay women for their undivided attention did wonders for a man’s ego, especially at an exclusive gentlemen’s club rather than a regular strip joint. It is more of a candid transaction that was valued at both ends.

And it is very exclusive. It required a reservation to save a slot since it was so well-known and a general, but hefty, fee at the door as insurance.

He made it sound like the easiest thing in the world, but on the other hand, Chris was so fucking anxious to go that he could vividly feel his blood pumping in overdrive. He’s never, ever attended a place like that before. But as he looked up at the classy, luminescent sign of the building that lit up the dark parking lot, he started to wonder what exactly he’s getting himself into. Just as long as he isn’t awkward, maybe everything will be okay.

Don’t be weird, don’t fuck it up. Simple.

He repeated those words in his head as he was looked over by the heavy before being let in and did everything the lady at the front desk told him to. After that, it was time to be escorted through the big fancy door.

The initial shock passed through him quickly, the smell of perfume, cigars and liquor weren’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. But once he rounded the corner into the main lounge the nerves were back. The wild colours in the dusky lighting gave the atmosphere an alluring feel as he bared witness to scarcely clothed women dancing on stage, at tables with other men and walking around the floor.

He adjusted his ball cap to sit lower on his face and scanned the room for a free seat, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed and needing to sit down before he either collapsed or backed out entirely. Chris Beck was not good at this.

Could he perform surgery after surgery for 16 hours straight? Yes.

Can he proudly say that he is an award-winning astronaut that helped shape the future of space science? Fuck yeah, he can.

Can he say that he can bed anyone he wants and walk around like he owns the place? No, no he cannot.

The spaceman sat in a vacant booth near the left side of the stage, tucked away in a dark corner to observe as he planned. Yeah, he was good at observing. Watney reassured him before he left, stating that he did specialize in human anatomy and he should do what he does best...observe, evaluate and execute, which helped a bit. A doctor’s point of view was his only saving grace right now, he’d stick to that comfortable method for as long as he can.

Observe.

He found himself zoning in on different interactions that played out as time ticked by. Many lovely women took their turn on stage, very healthy and some men had been taken behind curtains and even thrown out for inappropriate behaviour. He made of a note of that in the back of his mind if there ever came a time. No touching.

He didn’t know how much time had passed since he arrived. There were a few nice girls who came over to talk to him, but he declined any offers they threw his way respectfully and chose to remain where he was instead. Although, just when he thought about turning in for the night, the lights suddenly dimmed until it was almost pitch-black. So dark that he couldn’t even see his hand.

The emcee bordered more background music that rattled his chest through the speakers above the circle booth, it increased slowly and he assumed it was building up to another track. The crowd of regulars and new attendees alike cheered loudly at the change of pace, Chris perked up and clapped along with them even though he had no clue as to what.

“Ladies, gentlemen and every-damn-one in between, we have a special treat for you tonight.” the man announced heartily.

He continued as the music came to a peak, then dissipated as he spoke the moniker of the next dancer, “Your house favourite has decided to give you a dance that I think is out of this world...please welcome to the stage, Ares”

The patrons went wild as Chris, on the other hand, went rigid – almost choking on his drink.

As the projected images of deep space filled the room in a flash, a dancer was now on stage walking around in something simple, yet sexy. No one could get enough of her or the choreography, staying for her performances that always seemed to have a different aesthetical essence every time she made an appearance.

The modest man couldn’t stop looking at her, she was the main focus of the room – but for him, the significance was completely different from the others. What were the chances that one of his biggest passions in life could be used as an exotic dance theme, materialized right in front of his eyes?

But when the music started...that’s when things even more interesting.

The song wasn’t one he anticipated, he assumed it would be the same club music that made his eardrums shudder, but this slow beat only made his senses buzz, and not just from the vibrations. He enjoyed the older music his commander played after years of listening to it. So, when he detected the beginning of this underrated 1972 classic by Harry Nilsson, this stripper had his full attention.

Bang, bang, shoot em’ up, destiny Bang, bang, shoot em’ up to the moon Bang, bang, shoot em’ up one, two, three (One, two, three, four)

The woman circled the pole as the song started to wind up, making little gestures to the regulars and letting the music guide her. She hit every deep strum of the guitar by waving her hips from side to side delicately, still holding on to the shiny metal planted at her side.

As the artist started to sing the corresponding words, she spun around the pole. The lights caught the small crystals on her one-piece and somehow, scattered like the night sky on her bare skin. Her hips moved sinfully as her body followed the fluid movements like Saturn’s rings, circulating with the natural orbit of the planet. Or pole in this case.

I wanted to be a spaceman That’s what I wanted to be But now that I am a spaceman Nobody cares about me

Next, with every distinct beat, she put her back to the pole, slid down and arose in one fell swoop. She twirled once, flipping her hair behind her head and rolling her lower body ‘round and around and around and around as the words called out above the hollering. The attention was now drawn to her lower body.

Highlighting her assets as dancers called it.

Hey Mother Earth, won’t ‘cha bring me back down Safely to the sea But ‘round and around and around and around Is all she ever say to me

She melted down on all fours to crawl across the platform, doing the next progressions effortlessly. She laid on her back, arching her body like a tidal wave entranced by the moon, rolling onto her stomach, and using her knees to sweep her torso across the floor until she was up in a kneeling position again.

The way she created a giant slip from her ass to her shoulders gave the perfect view of her behind to the men and women on the left side of the stage, money cascading across her body. It was quick yet elegant.

I wanted to make a good run I wanted to go to the moon I knew that it had to be fun I told ‘em to send me real soon I wanted to be a spaceman That’s what I wanted to be But now that I am a spaceman Nobody cares about me

She repeated similar moves to the first chorus but on her knees this time, feeling up her own body, wiggling her assets playfully at whoever she wanted – connecting with the audience. Chris was captivated by the way she carried her body like that, the slightly distorted music gave a sexy edge to her routine that caused his cock to throb in his jeans.

In his big doctor brain, he was trying to figure out how someone could be so graceful. Even if he felt ashamed of viewing her so strenuously, he justified it by observing her anatomy like the surgeon he was.

She didn’t wear high heels, opting to be barefoot, and the only extravagant makeup she wore was something that made her body sparkle. Her simple lingerie wasn’t something that stole the show, she just came as herself. The differences help him tell a lot about who she was, the little details sending signals to his genius mind.

Hey Mother Earth, won’t 'cha bring me back down Safely to the sea Around and around and around and around Is just a lot of lunacy (yeah, yeah)

The break in the lyrics gave a sense of anticipation, the echo prepared everyone for the next verse as the song swerved in and out of a muffled tone. Then, she was watching him.

Chris abruptly looked away as the mood changed, his breath hitching as he erratically glanced around before settling on her again. She appeared to be showing off for him now with a smile on her lips. He swallowed thickly as his mouth began to water and dry out at the same time, exchanging aggressive eye contact with the woman that had his undivided attention.

The music got lost in the background noise as they disappeared into their own world, his heart pulsed in his ear and his breath shallowed as everything around them was lost. It was like the earth had stopped spinning, the gravity giving out so the spaceman could feel weightless. There were faint pictures of the cosmos floating across his flushed skin, revealing his lip clamped between his impressively white teeth.

'Round and around and around and around and around (So bring me back down) 'Round and around and around and around and around Safe on the ground

He wasn’t trying to be sensual, Chris chewed his bottom lip when he was either content, uneasy or nervous. And nervous he was. Those eyes said innocence but the rest of him screamed sex fiend who could pound her into another universe if provoked, it definitely piqued her interest.

She never had the pleasure of seeing a person in tune with her like that before, it was refreshing. He looked like he was genuinely enjoying the way her body made him react but on a more personal level, something difficult to accomplish from 15 feet away.

Hey Mother Earth, better bring me back down Safely to the sea But around and around and around and around Is all she ever say to me, yeah

She had to be the one to break the intense eyefuck that was taking place, on both ends, in the middle of her set. Chris sensed the music drift back in, the planet rotating once more and coming back to himself after his mind floated away into endless space amongst many stars filling the void. As the song came to a close, she followed the rest of her routine with similar moves, collecting herself after a mere moment.

Everything was simply...simple.

But there was still so much of the unknown that came with the woman she was, remaining understated in this line of work and feeding a lot of emotion into her life passion. He could feel it.

That is the exact reason why she was a house favourite.

You know, I wanted to be a spaceman That’s what I wanted to be But now that I am a spaceman Nobody cares about me Say hey, you Mother Earth, you better bring me back down I’ve taken just as much as I can But around and around and around and around Is the problem of a spaceman

Evaluate.

That spaceman had a problem alright.

She just took him on a fucking cosmic ride that will be burned into his mind for the foreseeable future. His pants were now painfully tight, pressing his cock close to his body so that every time he moved his tip would be stimulated by his silky briefs. He was being forced to evaluate his current predicament.

He thought about the next step as the projections faded from the room and her along with them, completely vanished by the time the lights dimmed down and back up again.

Chris originally wanted to stay for a while longer to watch some more, not pushing himself to do more than he was prepared for; progress takes time and it depends on the person. He evaluated the options in front of him, either pursue the course that led him to the woman who just blew his mind or, stick with what he had been doing for the past five months – fucking his hand while he rested alone in his bed.

Eventually, after he gave into the disconcerted feeling picking him apart, he went with the familiar option and kept his head down in disappointment at his lack of confidence, sliding out of the booth. He just wanted to go home at this point, maybe he would try again another day. He nearly reached the exit when a security guard abruptly stopped him from leaving, he thought he did something wrong at first but as it turns out, that was far from what was the case.

“No, you didn’t do anything—you’re being requested by a dancer” the large man chuckled.

Chris looked up at the man that towered over him, questioning the authenticity of the claim. He clapped him on the shoulder.

“If I were you, man...I would take the dance. She rarely takes requests but offering...one in a million”

The security guard walked him into the back where the exclusive rooms were and into one with a large circular seat, gentle lighting and parlour cabinet full of assorted items. It wasn’t a suffocating space, but he felt like he was running out of oxygen

“Enjoy the show, man” with that final word, he left Chris alone in the room.

Once the door clicked, he rushed to rub his sweaty palms on his dark jeans and took a shaky breath as he sat down, pulling on the neckband of his sweater. In the meantime, he worked on not being so high strung, the door being behind him didn’t help as he waited for her to come. While the anticipation slowly drove him nuts, he ran the three steps Watney reminded him of in his cloudy mind.

Observe, evaluate and...execute.

Execute.

He was startled at the hands sneaking around his shoulders and lightly down his chest, making him jump in a bit in the big velvet chair. He was too deep in his thoughts to hear the door open behind him or her walking in on his stiff back facing her. Chris heard her soft chuckle behind him and felt the warm air caress his sensitive neck.

“Easy loverboy” Ares cooed in a low voice.

If it wasn’t before, his heart was racing at lightspeed now. She had such a strong effect on him.

“...you’re very tense. Did you know that?” she whispered behind his ear.

He shivered at the feeling and slowly nodded, not trusting his stupid mouth to not say something awkward.

She chuckled again, “You have the prettiest blue eyes...even from a distance”

The woman walked around his seated boy, keeping her hands on him but moving them with her until she was faced with the mystery man from the darkest corner in the lounge. He wasn’t looking at her, but around her, and trying to find somewhere to rest his relentless gaze. It was all in vain though, she trailed her finger along his jaw and under his chin, forcing his eyes to hers.

“Hmm, there they are—better up close” she bit her lip softly.

He looks so timid, with his big beady eyes and those perfectly pouted lips working in the evilest ways. Chris blushed at the compliment, feeling better about himself already.

Watney might actually be right about this whole excursion after all.

“I—uh, thank you” he murmured.

Chris cursed himself for already stuttering like a dumbass.

In his defence, she was touching him ever-so-gently and how can he not trip up his words with her looking like a holy goddess. Ironic, given the circumstance. And now, he couldn’t look away.

Especially since her hands travelled upwards to pull his NASA ball cap off, then leaning forward while maintaining that close proximity as she unzipped his sweater, helping him pull it off.

“We don’t need those” Ares whispered, tossing the garments on the floor.

But there was always some teasing before the actual contact.

As she put distance between their bodies, he was resting almost slack in the chair – legs parted, arms limp at his side and in his lap as soft music began to play. The apple of throat bobbed in his tight throat as she began moving slowly in front of him, full of grace and precision. She was like a supernova, its effortlessly soft edges melting into the black of space as her skin did with her bodysuit. The fact that he was the only one seeing it made the experience that much sweeter, all those feelings coming back from earlier.

He was also able to recognize that she was wearing subtle glitter and rhinestones that temporarily fused to her skin, causing the shine and sparkle of her body on stage.

Once she gave him time to get comfortable, she spread his legs apart and hovered her back over his chest, grinding her ass into his lap. The shampoo and light perfume made his sex twitch as he inhaled it in, trying his best not to give in and touch. He kept his hands on the edges of the chair, his fingers digging into it painfully – he remembered what happened to the other guys, how they got thrown out. Chris just wants to watch, that’s good enough for him.

No touching.

Ares leaned forward slightly, arching her back and hitting his private areas in all the right places, gradually making him break out into a small sweat. The woman rubbed her ass on his lap expertly and before he knew it, she pressed herself against him to lay her head on his shoulder.

“I hope you know, the way you looked at me...you really know how to get a girl hot and bothered.”

Of course, he blushed again. His face was burning like the sun at this point.

“I...I was just enjoying it—you are very talented” Chris laughed nervously.

He turned his face slightly, absentmindedly following the heat of her skin until he was fanning her neck, so close...but never touching. He was so, sooo close, but felt so far.

She stood up without warning and slowly turned around, pushing him back into the back of the chair more and watching as he widened eyes dilated further at her forwardness. He’d clearly never had a lap dance so he probably didn’t know about what happened during one. She set her legs on either side of his thighs, effectively straddling him to get on with the real deal. She smoothed her arms around his neck and left them to hang lazily off the back of the chair, never breaking eye contact the entire time.

“That’s very sweet, I can feel how excited you are...”

As she began to move, their heads fell back simultaneously from the direct friction. Ares righted her head after a second and pressed into his personal space, their noses touching every time she moved up his lower body and back down again. She circled her hips a couple of times and breathed out a sigh, it was nice not giving lap dances to the clingy regulars and giving a man like this her talented movements and motions instead. It was different this time around, the atmosphere was weirdly intimate – he just gave off that energy.

“Very excited...” Ares added.

Chris shuttered as she rested her entire body weight on his clothed erection at the sentence, now realizing how difficult it was not to touch. Though she picked up on his hesitation and demeanour instantaneously. She stroked all over his arms, chest and stomach for the first time, feeling how cut the guy really was, there were endless muscles. Very practical.

He gave her a shy smile, “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way—to, uh...to have my body behave this way, I mean”

“Ah, I’m turning you on?...” she asked, leaning in.

Chris didn’t know what to say to that, he’s never been good in these situations and more often than not resorted to the only thing he knows everything about. He’s starting to lose his cool and what happens when he loses his cool?

Well, he is not very smooth.

“I, um...it’s the body sending signals the corresponding part of the brain...neurons fire commands and simulate the, uh...ohh,” a moan cut off his rambling.

He could feel himself getting closer to his release, something he didn’t want but also desperately wanted at the same time. He was already on edge when he was in the booth, his brain constantly stimulating his sex to the point where his boner couldn’t go away. The way it was being dragged across his pants made him groan even more.

She giggled, “Has anyone told you that you’re a dork when you’re nervous?”

Chris shook his head, closing his eyes to try and fight off his orgasm until the lap dance was over. He had to swallow most of the breaths that became more and more erratic with every sway of her hips.

The way his skin flushed a dark pink and his breathing picked up confirmed she was doing a good job, but the only thing that threw Ares off was the fact that he was shaking violently, a straining vein on his neck making an impression in his flesh. She was unknowingly pumping his shaft along with his jeans, practically coaxing his seed to just burst out of him.

Chris felt his balls go stiff, cock pulse and tighten right before he lost control. The thing that pushed him to his limit was his balls compressing between his legs when she quickly swivelled her hips. He gripped the arms of the chair and thrust his hips upward, letting out a long mewl and finally giving up on holding back as pleasure took over his ability to think properly. Ares stopped moving while he continued riding out his orgasm that felt too goddamn good, cum seeping out of his boxers and down his thigh.

Once he found a way to maneuver himself back to Earth, he went completely limp in the chair as if he just ran a triathlon when the reality of what just happened hit him. That just happened, he hasn’t cum in his pants since his first year of university, and didn’t have a clue of what to do about it.

Why didn’t he just stay home? He could have avoided this if he just isolated himself in his room like he usually did.

“Huh...that’s never happened to me before,” she said in a tone he couldn’t quite decipher.

He glanced away after opening his eyes, still in a daze, “I...um”

For a moment he thought he made her uncomfortable and was getting ready to apologize, possibly leave if she wanted him to. But instead, he tilted his head as the embarrassment on his face was replaced by confusion at her smirk and gentle eyes. She dragged her ass across him once, making him hiss at the sensitivity of his half-hard cock still dripping with arousal.

Usually, she didn’t allow excessive touching and avoided any kind of sexual encounters at work, it wasn’t her thing – but there was something about this one that told her he should be pleased. To be honest, he wasn’t some run-of-the-mill scumbag or pompous prick like the usual attendees are, she’s starting to see he’s a plain, genuine guy. That’s why it took him by surprise when she leaned down and pressed a long kiss on the crease of his throat, sucking on it periodically.

“...I thought there was no, mhmm, touching” Chris stammered.

Ares held on to the baby hairs at the back of his neck, then ran his soft hair through her fingers as she kissed her way across his face. Their lips brush together as she spoke.

“Shhhh, let me take care of you...and this” she moved on him again, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

Chris whimpered out a noise of surprise when she finally connected both their lips together, she sucked his bottom one between hers and nipped at it tenderly. She grabbed his hands, placing them on her to encourage him to feel her, to touch her body. He was hesitant with his movements, still diffident even when she slithered her tongue into his soft mouth, twirling and caressing his.

When they disconnected he panted heavily in the shared space, she hummed at his expression, desire. After she climbed off his lap and kneeled in front of him as her hands began to unbuckle his belt and tug at his zipper.

“Okay, this is happening? Right now?...oh” Chris breathed out.

Everything was happening so fast, he didn’t have time to think about the repercussions of his irresponsible, but tempting actions. His voice of reason was screaming its concern and he couldn’t help but listen to it as he sat there, immobilized while she worked his pants, then cum-soaked briefs down his legs.

“You really don’t have t—” he groaned throatily as she pumped his shaft.

It was always the dorky guys who have the nicest and fullest cocks she had ever seen without fail – he was no different in that department, a decent length, thickness and fit for her. Ares stroked him until he was fully solid again, admiring the way he turned his hips up at the feeling of her hand around him – at least, if they stopped now, he’d have a good visual to fuel his lewd imagination late at night.

She quirked a wholesome smile, “We need to clean you up before things get too heated”

Chris would have mentally retracted the concept of using her as ammunition for his masturbation thoughts, but he was too busy with his eyes rolling back at the most damning sight in the universe. She began to lick the cum from where it was on his body, on his cock, all over his thigh and what remained on her fingers; swallowing everything before working him over with her mouth.

“Jesus Christ...” he growled, reeling in an abrupt lust. He held the back of her head as she sucked him off, “it’ll be over very soon if you don’t get up here”

Even taken aback by his tone, she grinned and gestured at him stand up along with her, encouraging him to pull the bodysuit straps down. Chris kissed along her collarbone faintly, tugging the lingerie down to expose her breasts and gleaming heat to his eyes. He kissed her neck as best he could, not knowing if he was making her feel good in the least but still giving it his best shot.

“God, you are beautiful...”

Luckily, she moaned at his rumbling words on her skin, relaxing him a little bit.

This was crunch time, they need to do it now. Ares rushed to pull his white t-shirt off, appreciating his abs, pecs and biceps as she pushed him back down on the chair forcefully – he looked like a complete stud but had the sweetest personality ever. She giggled as he squirmed out of his pants and kicked off his shoes so he could be fully naked like her, climbing on him again as he did so.

Chris didn’t want anything binding him while this happened.

“Do you have a condom?” she mumbled against his lips, kissing him again.

He made an affirming noise, gesturing for her to pick up his pants where his wallet held one in a hidden pocket. He quickly fumbled the leather out and tossed it with his pants to the ground, barely getting the condom out before she snatched it and rolled it down the length of him. She propped herself on her knees, coating him in her growing wetness as she prepared to take him.

But, he hesitated and held her just above him.

“Are you...are you sure you want to do this—with me?” Chris asked, his eyes held a sadness that she never wanted to see from him again.

Of course, she wanted to...now more than ever.

To reassure him, she cupped his cheek with her free hand and pressed their foreheads together. The woman revelled in the way his mouth dropped open, eyes becoming hooded and a gasp hitching in the back of his throat as she sunk onto him. Looking deep into his eyes and watching the sadness dissipate into satisfaction. He grasped her waist with one arm as she began to ride him at a steady pace, his cock stretching her.

Chris groaned loudly, choking on his moans every so often when she caressed the right spot. The speed increased as he began to enthusiastically meet her thrusts, causing them to both murmur muffled whines and whimpers into each other’s mouths. One hardy smack of his thighs to her ass pierced their ears when he gave a particularly harsh snap of his body, pulling her down as he kept up with his hard thrusts into her.

“Fuck, do that again...” she shivered as he fucked her so carefully, making her needier every second.

He had his brows furrowed in concentration, focusing on pleasuring her and tried to forget the doubts he had to live in that moment. This was more than spontaneous sex for him, he was making love to someone – feeling good for once. He has never fucked someone before but, if anything, he was giving her the most carnal, admiration-fueled sex he could.

She bounced faster as he, in turn, bucked into her harder. She was clenching, he was throbbing...it was too much.

“God, that’s it, just like that,” he grunted, continuing to manually move her slowing hips.

“Shit, you’re gonna make me cum...” she groaned, “...please tell me you’re close”

Chris nodded fervently, keeping his eyes locked on her for as long as he could. In the final stretch, as her clenching became more prevalent, he kept one arm around her as he trailed his hand down to her clit. Just when started to rub, his fingers caught the nerves underneath and made her cry out.

“Does that feel good for you? Is it okay?” he asked politely.

Ares sobbed her ‘yes’ in a pitchy tone.

He hugged her tightly against him as everything started to unwind, leaving his pelvis to stimulate her clit. The woman clenched hard around him as she lost her vision, the way her cunt gripped made him speed up his thrusts to continue moving. Her low whine near his ear did him in, his lower body ghosted on a final thrust as he stopped completely – his heaving was muffled by the clenching of his teeth, letting himself tremble in her arms as he filled the condom with his cum.

After a while of sitting there, Chris broke the silence, “I...I think my time is up”

She laughed at his witty remark, not realizing how much that boosted his mood and tugged at his heart, or how she just single-handedly repaired his self-worth. There was no way to process it, all he knew was he felt amazing, he felt...content.

Ares stood on weak legs, climbing off him and allowing him to dispose of the condom. Chris had a dopey smile on his face as he pulled his pants back on and did the fastenings quickly, she was already back in her bodysuit by that time. He appeared to be lost in deep thought as she handed him his shirt, smirking at him – his skin flushed a soft rose when he finally noticed.

She scoffed.

“Do I really make you nervous—after that?” she retrieved his sweater and cap off the floor where they were forgotten.

Chris laughed quietly before shifting back to his serious face, smiling somewhat. She wondered why he was there in the first place when he could have women lining up; well, if he wasn’t so humble that is.

He cleared his throat, “uh...thank you for that by the way. You didn’t have to do what you did...I just” then began rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I’m not good at this stuff, one-time things and strippers—or, I mean exotic dancers, I didn’t mean for that to sound like th—”

To save him from himself, she curled her fingers around his shirt collar and pulled him in, kissing him thoughtfully. Chris cupped the back of her head right away and held her waist as she encompassed the modest stranger with her warmth. He chased her mouth after she broke away from his pursed lips, brows furrowing at his want to keep kissing her.

“You talk a lot, it’s sweet” she giggled at his actions.

Following that encounter, he felt like a new man. She let him make love to her, or fuck her, whichever it was. He couldn’t get over that woman, she felt authentic in his arms, unlike Beth who felt out of place and made him realize his ex was never meant for him at all.

Chris was walking away, leftover clothes in hand and messy sex hair weathered by her hands, but before he could slip behind the curtain leading back to the lounge, she called out to him. When he turned to face her, she was in a robe and leaning laxly against the wall, just as dishevelled as he was.

“For the record, I’m not good at this—” she gestured between them, “—either”

He drove home with a smile on his face and satisfaction coursing through him.

Although, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling of having a mere fling. Not even knowing anything about her while doing something so intimate, something personal to him. He wished he would have asked her real name or her number, so he could thank her properly or even, possibly ask her out.

He had a feeling about her, the attraction was undeniable now.

Perhaps it was a god working some sort of miracle or the planet’s alignment giving him mystical energy, maybe something as simple as luck. But, as he started to get ready for bed that night, a piece of paper fell out of his jeans as he stripped to have a shower.

Curiously, he picked it up and looked it over.

xxx-xxx-xxxx Just because I knew you wouldn’t ask for it. Call me sometime. – Y/N

Maybe he would take her out.

After all, he felt as if they had this connection, even if it was unconventional from any other relationship he had before. One thing he knew for sure was he liked the sound of her name on his tongue, repeating it in front of the mirror and practicing what to say to her...thinking about her until he fell fast asleep.

The spaceman used to have problems, but now?

He has none.

#the martian #sebastian stan #chris beck #chris beck smut #chris beck x reader #chris beck x reader smut #sac writes #space daddy

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