#this is how you know im in deep. okay.

[vlasdygoth]

picked this up at the thrift store the other day do you think it's any good

#mgs #metal gear solid #ocelhira #kazuhira miller #revolver ocelot #id in alt text #this is how you know im in deep. okay. #i got the title in my head and ive had these pulp covers in my pinterest feed for MONTHS so this was inevitable #theres a bunch of gay ones with these like lurid yellow backgrounds so thats what i pulled from for this. it didnt happen all the way but i #like it nonetheless #and yes thwt is a duran duran AND belinda carlisle reference. #i DO think its funny to put heaven is a place on earth on my mgs/dad rock playlist what of it

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[courtney-deserved-better]

telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person

#they live rent free in my head as you can tell #ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney #tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship #aughhhh i just. love them so much #and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens #because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!! #like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he #after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak #meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes #just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even #though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein #shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for #one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right #okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them #platonic alecourtney

[spearxwind]

HI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO Here’s a big comprehensive reference post for The Big (Eel) Man !! This also means all the main guys’ references for Challenger Deep are done :D

#windyart #talas #oc ref sheet #challenger deep #WAHOOO FINALLY. YOU GUYS DONT KNOW HOW LONG THIS TOOK FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON #(the reason is im deranged and i kept catching mistakes and i ended up changing his markings in the process) #I know ive posted the last ref before but like. i tweaked it :] #[leans into the microphone] im mentally eel. #eel talas #i keep forgetting to use this tag. im not as thorough with it as i am with snadri #okay i feel like i can actually rest now #focus on other things. this was taking up 99% of my brains RAM fr #also i have been so passionate lately about. the fucking body type thing. that i added a disclaimer directly onto the ref itself #good lord. #okay i really need to go to bed holy shit #i hope yall enjoy this <3333 im so excited to shareeee #blows a kiss @ all yall

[coolnonsenseworld]

I wanted to say that outside of semantics and divisions - I am simply happy to find communities that welcome with kindness - that welcome you by a good heart and not the ability to conform. I am happy for the opportunity to be surrounded by people who care. It's a funny world we live in - making the same mistakes over and over, multiplying the same suffering by billions. I don't think I hope for an utopia anymore, I don't think such a thing exists - but you can't call me hopeless either. And that's what matters.

As a side note - this piece is set in DanceAU, which might be better known to Patrons so far, but still it was the best and most fitting option for this occasion..... also there are 12 DanceAU pieces incoming, because I might be making another calendar so. get familiar with these mutts

#klance #voltron legendary defender #klance fanart #priDEMONth #you know there is always so much happening idk what to add in the tags #i made banana bread yesterday and almost burned the kitchen (right after i asked myself how bad can it be?) i am not kidding #and then burned my arm twice trying to avoid a burn which is top ten ways to get them #its okay tho it doesnt hurt anymore #there was also my nameday which I forgot about and had a headache thorough #also when i was drawing i was considering that lance is maybe a bit too tall on this piece #he IS taller but bending like that with keith standing straight? #i mean gay? #idk about that #but i decided not to worry danceau always has heels for that #i also have been so deep in wirting hex if you dont know whats hex dw you shouldnt #but i have this love hate relationship with it everyone knows it its a sinusoid #im on my happy phase with it lately #no one jinx it it better last #all i wanted was bamf rescues and cliche tropes and now im trying to do them justice in 200 thousand words or less idk why #they could have been just fighting demons and cuddling #either way happy pride once again!!

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey do you remember all those videos of Fernando smelling flowers? Haha yeah....

#posting this both while im asleep and after whatever bee event ends up happening #so who knows what will happen! will we get nothing? will we get eye contact? will we possibly get an interaction? its a surprise!! #anyways this is basically me hearing about seb's bee event and he said the drivers will be there #me deep in my vettonso brainrot: OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONNA BE IN THE SAME VICINITY #will be so funny for me if when i wake up i find out fernando didnt even go 😭 #but we remain hopeful 🙏 #also this is just very funny to me bcs like both seb and fernando have very specifc quirks #and what are two of their specific quirks? seb and his bee thing. fernando and his flower thing from this season #so this fanart is perfect y'know 🥰🥰🥰 #also screeching over how this is the first canon au drawing ive ever drawn. ive literally never drawn non-au until now 💀💀💀 #okay and now some horrible jokes thay happened during the process of this: #thesis of this drawing: whats Fernando gonna do? Pollinate him? 😏 #C. why did you have to make me think of bees that produce sex pollen 😭😭 this is gonna haunt me forever. but also vettonso post-japan fic- #and then also the barry benson thing. im like what do humanized bees look like and then realized 'oh no....oh no.' #fernando to seb at the bee event: 'ya like samurais...?' SORRY 😭 #also having to pick the colors from one of my historical au drawings was haunting. just the sheer difference btwn them yknow...... #anyways please take my old men yaoi. took a break from historical yaoi to draw this 😭😭😭😭 #this is my peak vettonso fanart cannot improve from here. also a fever dream #vettonso #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.art. #*not gonna edit the tags bcs i like the time capsule of it all but like. yeah. we were fed. #*catie from 2 hours prior(atm its 3 am) would be so pleased right now i think

[skrunksthatwunk]

frostbitten

(alt versions under the cut)

different color scheme:

full pages of both:

anyway haha. who's feeling normal about this scene. me probably

#baby's first digital comic and it fucking. good god my spine hurts so bad #not even remotely my first comic but I'm outta practice and also. stupid #anyway thinking about this scene thinking about kiryu's deep frostbitten black fingertips all bloody and horrible #YAKUZA 5 REALLY PUT ME THROUGH IT WITH THIS ENDING OKAY #and I'm kinda shocked I've never seen fanart of it before because it's one of my favorite main story scenes #trying new things. ow. but it's neat anyway ig #alright tag time you know the drill #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #kiryu kazuma #sawamura haruka #ykz #like a dragon #yakuza 5 #yakuza 5 spoilers #haruka sawamura #kazuma kiryu #didn't turn out how i originally planned so i might go back and do a more faithful standalone piece. but im going to bed now :p #ALSO DON'T MENTION THE FUCKING. LAMP POST DISTANCE FROM KIRYU OKAY. I KNOW #I ONLY NOTICED IT WHILE MAKING THE POST AND THIS SHIT TOOK ME LIKE TEN HOURS IM NOT FIXING IT NOW. SOBBING WAILING #graurfghhgh y5 saying dream this dream that just to kill me by bringing it back at the end. hell #but like with a different use of the word's meaning. i literally eat that shit up HOOUUGGHHH #me: yeah i made the panels all stiff and boxy and boring because he's stiff from freezing to death and it's an impersonal unengaging style #(<- ignoring the other reason: something more dynamic would've probably been harder to map dialogue to and it was already a dense spread) #anyway. got a dip pen yesterday and wayy too many nibs so im thinking about doing a happier kiryu + haruka piece with that. go crazy #real ones can see how this developed from the gifset of this scene to the wtf his hands are ourple post. it's been fermenting #happy with the reblogs so far bc it's all like HEY HEY HEY. OUCH. OWIEEEE and this is good (ik bc i also say owwie ouch when smth is sad) #skrunkart

[imflyingfish]

This isnt a crazy statement but i still think that there should be better diversity on the life series. I mean specifically there should be more woman creators and creators who are poc.

Like 3rd life had ONE woman!!! WHAT THE FUCK?

Theres only ever been TWO non-white members of the life series! What????

Only 4/17 of the secret life members are women! Thats like 4 and a bit men for every woman! THIS IS THE SEASON WITH THE MOST WOMEN????

Like i know the gaming space is a bit messed up on this front but like cmon....

I dont think that the life series is like. Intrinsically bad or anything, but it would be cool if Grian/the team and such could take notice of these facts and help to change the server just a bit more.

#trafficblr #traffic smp #okay originally this post was only going to be about women and then i realised also how messed up it is that theres only two black #people on the server #fuck i dont even make posts like this like. ever. #but i feel like it would be really you know. COOL to get some more diversity in this particular minecraft gaming sphere especially #idk im trying to increase the diversity in the last couple of months in what i watch and listen to since i realise that its not good enough #and i realised these facts and im like. shit this isnt just like a me thing this is deep in our fandom #same goes with most minecraft series #heck i watched a random up-and-coming minecraft youtubers video today on a competition server. #not a single woman???? really??? #hey maybe if theres enough backing it would be worth like. sending an email or something idk #so long as people are polite about it ig #idk ive never really talked about this stuff before but its been bothering me #grian #grian critical #also sorry if my maths is just totally wrong idkim bad at it

[synth-spinner]

w.. wuh.. cries in a way that's awesome..

#HE LOOKS VERY OKAY BUT INSIDE IM TELLLLING YOU HES LIKE EXPLODING #U KNOW HE WAS BUG EYED STARING INTO SPACE DEEP IN THOUGHT AFTER PS4 SAID. THAT ..AND AFTER THE 616 SPIDEYS SAID.ATAGT #SORRY IM NORMAL. IM NORMAL #IM ALSO WRONG .NO IM NOT YES IM AM #<3 #superior spiderman #how much of him can i screenshot and post before they come after me <- the normal comic readers who are not delusional like me #superior spider man

[oatbugs]

idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do

#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second. #remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one. #make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard. #you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper. #she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down #and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep. #there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more #and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true. #you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her. #the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers. #your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts. #learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again. #i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir #youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this. #right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full. #youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother #im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg #just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts. #breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful. #the lack of her is still beautiful

[hella1975]

what do you plan to do with your degree after uni?

FUCK NASTY!!!

#if i ever touch economics again it's a cry for help like i cannot stress enough how fucking pointless this degree is gonna be #okay deep breath im only being so negative bc im balls deep in exam season. it's a GOOD degree i DONT REGRET MY DEGREE #this will be EXCEPTIONALLY helpful when i go into the working world i am EMPLOYABLE bc of my DEGREE #like economics is a VERY versatile subject there arent many areas of work that econ doesnt apply to in some way #so i KNOW it's a really good degree to have and i can kinda do what i want afterwards #but oh my fucking god. jesus christ. bloody fucking hell #i do however know that in the immediate year after my degree im gonna move back home and waitress full time #bc i just need to like. take some time off education and recover LMAO and i want a space to just tick some boxes i never got round to #like learning how to drive and stuff. and living without having rent to pay in a place im very familiar with will be good #even if i do think it's gonna have it's own struggles. oh hometown blues we're really in it now #but yeah after that year im thinking about maybe doing a masters? but ill have to proper blag it bc you typically have to do #masters in subjects relevant to your degree and i dont want to go within a radiation exclusion zone of economics #so. there's that. do u think if i say please somewhere will let me do a classics masters be honest. if i say pretty please #ask #hella goes to uni

[rapidhighway]

i’m never actually going to talk to my professor about it but can’t she just read my mind and realize i have like the worst case of time blindness in history PLEASE ToT

#i wouldn’t even know how to explain this to someone like i can;t describe something that just isnt there and my sense of time just simply #doesnt exist at all man #i just live in a void and things happen and then suddenly im in deep shit im sorry this literally cannot be fixed #okay okay okayi went insane for a minute im calm now #ouough #in a class where you have to check in regularly and show what you’re doing and i just realized i only was there ONCE #i thought i had SO MANY more weeks omg im sosrry ifdjidjifhfidfh #i thought i had so much more time apparently i have only one more im going to explode #i had no fuckign idea i knew the dates and everything but my brain just dont work plllleeeeeaseeeee ToT #ggrhejehudhducdgucdgcud #throws up #pls pls pls pls #pls i have a disordar

[propertyofkylar]

easing my partner into telling them about dol by drawing kylar for today’s inktober prompt

#and i remembered after that it’s fucking robin in front of the owl that gets you kidnapped OKAY im NOT DUMB!! #we’ve been together almost seven years. but they don’t know how much of a freak I truly am deep down #bc i only just discovered it thanks antidepressants for giving me my life back :)

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

like im just saying they should invent a family that doesn't make you want to kill yourself

#and a school system while theyre at it #or just a me that wouldn't make me want to kill myself #just like. without all the problems that make it impossible to exist in normal society as myself #i know technically its possible for me to have a future but goddammit i dont see one okay #i havent made a single goddamn real life connection since middle school and now we're so distant i barely remember whos who on discord #thats not to mention how I've just been on the edge of every friendgroup anyway. including that one #im just some fucking loser. im not going to fucking graduate my only career aspiration is a goddamn pipe dream and if i dont fucking kill #myself by then im going to be stuck living with my family forever and we're not going to be seeing eye to eye. #all ive ever done is dig myself a deep grave and then tether other people to me to drag them down too #i love you all but i dont know how you see me as anything but gross and annoying and weirdly fucking clingy okay #i just #i dont know what im fucking doing #i wish i did. i wish i knew but i dont. and it feels like everyone else has figured out how things work and im just supposed to do that too #but i cant. i fucking cant and it keeps getting worse and i keep getting worse and i keep making it worse for my family while im at it #i miss being able to imagine doing stuff tomorrow. or in an hour #i miss being able to wash the dishes and not having to think about stabbing myself with fucking cutlery #i miss being able to show my mother my report card #but its my fucking fault im in this mess in the first place #and i just cant fucking try enough. or at all #aethers rants #cw vent #cw sui ideation #personal posts and stuff idk

[utenthy]

has anyone here seen richard siken’s current twitter antics

#im like insanely aggravated it’s like ruining my day #he’s kind of delving into this topic of the current discourse surrounding speculating the sexuality of an artist and how people are #trying to twist some crazy don’t ask don’t tell scheme into the most appropriate course of action #don’t know if you guys are too deep in anime heaven to be aware of this but oh my god #i get a lot of like popstars on my twitter feed and it’s just people like if you think this famous person is gay you’re fucking disgusting #it’s bananas #but siken is getting involved now and he’s kind of proposing this theoretical to his followers #and they’re all like falling for it in the most ridiculous way #he’s saying like. if you found out i was straight would you think of my art differently #and they’re all like Nooo baby we’d support if you were het cuz sexuality doesn’t matter bby #and he keeps like dropping all these leading questions trying to take them to the water like #even if a reading erases queer history is it okay #and they’re like yes it’s ok ❤️ #like it makes it so obvious and stupid i can’t believe these people are watching Richard siken #extremely important gay poet #get sucked into gaylor drama and their take is that he’s saying omg gaylors flopped sexuality doesn’t matter #don’t be stupid #he was like if i was straight it wouldn’t change the art would it ? And the answer is yes it would. fucking obviously. #but he’s getting into a lot of conflict with people #cuz like im always saying the greater society smoked so much homophobia that even gay people and allies are fucking CONFUSSD about what it #means to be an activist or stand for the cause of gay liberation

[rinofwater]

So was anyone gonna tell me that too much caffeine can worsen depression or was I supposed to figure that out for myself after sipping too much 'self-loathing bastard' juice?

#personal #ive been deep in my feels the last few days #and ive been sitting here like where the fuck is this even coming from i cut out all the stressors hello #am i just predisposed to hate myself forever??? #no #ive been having too much cold brew #and i know this because i wake up today with an obnoxious ass headache as if im having caffeine withdrawals #even though i had a latte yesterday just not the cold brew #the cold brew thats got waaaaaaaay more caffeine per serving than the latte (and i usually end up having about two servings in one go) #and you know what? the self-loathing bastard energy just aint slapping today somehow #just the damn headache and some vague queasiness #(and annoyance at how my new curtains for my room are doing a piss poor job of staving off the evil hate orb but that's a different thing) #and its like okay i know caffeine can worsen anxiety and it can have the opposite expected effect for folks with adhd #is there a link with depression too? #studies say...yeah there might be a link especially if youre already predisposed to it #so uh #yeah today i learned i guess #i need to take that snide self-deprecating remark off my sideblog too...whoops