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#this is tragic bc my brain cannot think of answers to things
clambuoyance · 2 years
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i'm trying to explain to a friend why exactly kon is so tragic but i can't figure out HOW
omg i rambled about this to my bestie that doesnt read comics like a week ago 😭 i think there’s several things about kon that scratches my brain in a particular way, but one of the things that make me sad about him is that for someone whose character is sort of presented as a “rebel teenage superman” (or a superman that didnt grow up with people like the kind hearted kents to raise him) and who wants to be his own boss and person, he kind of…is rarely in control of his own life, ironically enough. or things keep getting in the way 🤔
like if you’ve only read him from yj comics (which i think is sufficient to understand his basic character) then there’s a scene from the early issues where he’s alone by the campfire after everyone’s gone to sleep and laments about the fact that he’s never going to grow up (in his solo, he got infected w like a virus thingy and the operation that saved him fucked up his aging but u dont have to read it to read YJ) and he expresses fear at the thought of all his friends growing up and leaving him behind, leading him to quote peter pan (“to die will be a great adventure”) which of course, is the moment i became obsessed with him 😔😔😔 and even after his aging thing gets fixed, there’s still that theme of having to mature and grow up while others move on that i like idk idk. peter pan makes me sad and so does he
there’s an another ask about it ill try to answer soon regarding the messy af tana and knockout situation in his solo…(and my mixed opinions on the writing 😔)but even without that, there’s also the whole thing w being a teen celeb and then later being cadmus’ field agent, or just things constantly turning his life upside down. like i read this letter column from a reader from the 90s that was really happy kon finally got a name but wished clark would check in on kon more bc they felt kon needed more adult supervision and guidance (which is sooo true) or else he’d get himself into more messy situations 😔
and i havent even gotten to the tt comics yet 😭 he lost a bit of his pizazz which is sad but i do think it was good he like. chilled out a bit
like kon makes a lot of mistakes and is kind of an idiot sometimes (a lot of the times) but he’s trying his best 😔✌️he is just a little lab creacher he cannot change this
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afaramir · 5 months
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for the ao3 wrapped!! 1, 6, 28! (also you are not alone in believing you can finish one more thing. i am also doing that :P)
happy (newly i guess, for u!) new year anna!!! waving at u NOT from the google doc! we did it! we finished the one more thing! [ao3 wrapped]
1. How many words have you written this year?
nearly 14k (13,924 to be exact) published and at least 6-7k more of wips! tragically my least prolific year since uhhhhhhhh a long time. 2017? but thats ok it was a hard year all that matters is that i survived<3 im proud of myself for what i did bc im in that kinda moment where im relearning how to write and reengaging the creative part of my brain. and next year will be better!! i have a lot of plans and a wip list as long as a cvs receipt<33
6. Favorite title you used
this one is actually your body drowning in gravity! i havent reread it in a long long while (aside: wow i was a totally different person when i wrote that (i published it jan 3)) bc my brain has temporarily been caught by other things. but it was an idea that i'd been turning over in my head for over a year at the time when i wrote it and i think i saw the richard siken poem that the title is from (it's "the dislocated room" btw) on my dash in the middle of the writing process and it was like. Perfect. like i choose all my titles very carefully but this one really knocks it out of the park. when the fic is literally about tanner thinking mallory is the one that's fallen from the top of the cns building at the end of spectre and not knowing until the body hits the ground.
28. Favorite work you wrote this year?
OUGHHH this is hard. Ough. ok i DO think it's just so long as this thing's loaded. im chronically an "i wrote this for me but you can read it if you want" guy bc i have rarepair disease. if i want to read it i have to be the one to write it. but this fic was really an exercise in like. getting weird with it. remembering that u cannot judge ur creation by any possible bad faith interpretation of it. letting myself write the kind of wildly unhinged horny possessive devotion that eats the inside of my brain but ive never been able to put on the page bc of the Fear of like ohhh that would be sooo bad in real life. dude theyre. not real. idk im not good at that sort of thing the panopticon inside my mind is sometimes kind of crazy. but like yeah actually they do think the power dynamic is hot. yeah nick made jasper fake betraying him obviously here is this situation where jasper comes back to nick after his faked death and both of them are pretending not to know the betrayal wasn't real. its just roleplay 2 them. sorry to quote a line in this already extremely long answer but like "The only thing he wants to keep is right here at his side and hasn’t that been the point of all of this, the knife to his throat and the blood in his kiss and the slow simmer of barely leashed desire. Jasper has come to him like this, the traitor slinking his guilty way home, to show Nick the lengths to which he would go for him. To which he has always gone for him, giving up everything to play Nick’s triple agent, just what the Director ordered." is literally the thesis statement of the whole thing. Anyway
also its the kind of fic where every line is trying to be The Line which...is a quirk of my writing style that comes out every now and then that im usually (for good reason tbh) always trying to cut back on. but this...Needed It. sometimes the prose DOES need to be purple. and i had fun. it was really fun dude lol i had a great time
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babieyangs-moved · 3 years
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tagged by @joshuasnosejob to answer some questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better 💕
name/nickname: lola... i dont rly have a nickname
gender: girl boss
star sign: capricorn
height: 162.5cm... idk what that is in feet and inches i think im like 5′4 or something
birthday: january 14th
favorite bands: ngl these questions give me an existential crisis... but ones i can never not listen to would include fall out boy, all time low, arctic monkeys..... and then kpop wise: nct (all units), super m, the boyz, seventeen, astro...etc.
fave solo artists: again these questions make me rethink my life choices..... kehlani, blackbear... my mind is blanking which is why i hate these questions
song stuck in my head: together at home - super m
last movie: magic mike (i watched it out of pure boredom pls dont judge me)
last show: start-up.. still mad at how the last half went but neways... but i’ve also almost finished private lives bc im on the last ep
when i created this blog: july 2019? i think
last thing i googled: “162.5 cm in feet and inches“
do i get asks: not rly
following: 303
why did i chose this url: you will never see troy bolton and jaehyun in the same room for one simple reason.... also jaehyun #1 hsm fan
average hours of sleep: like a good 6 hours...
lucky number(s): 7, 14..
instruments: piano but i can barely play anymore bc i stopped playing when i was like 18 lol
what i'm wearing: off the shoulder summer dress i bought from factorie like 3 or 4 years ago :’)
dream trip: korea!!!! but also the us to see my gf.... and maybe argentina to see my family
favorite food: chicken nuggets (purely bc coles has gluten free ones in the frozen section)...
favorite song: i dont rly have one rn
top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: my daydream universe where im besties w kpop idols and can magically speak like 4 languages... idk
i tag: @berryongs @thefinalgirlz @02print @1hades @yangyanghater @mullets-deactivated20210110 + 14 other blogs that want to do this
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its-chelisey-stuff · 4 years
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‘Love and Redemption’, eps 41-50 (at this point I just feel pain)
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I wanna take a moment and address the situation properly: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK SIFENG? YOU DO THIS EVERY.SINGLE.FUCKING.TIME. You sacrifice everything for this woman everytime. You have a 99.9999999 % of disregard for your person is actually a wonder you came this far into life or maybe not if we take into account the other 9 incarnations and the one in heaven.
I can't believe the biggest reason why I love this character so freaking much is also the only reason that makes me mad at him, because it leads to his death, demise, destruction, ending, fin, whatever you want to call it, always. His only flaw is also his biggest strength depending on what day of the week or in which part of the drama he is living.
He loves Xuanji impossibly too much.
I mean... this is a drama that has deities, demons and mortals, all aware of the others' existence. I've seen dragons and weird creatures that rank from adorable to wtf scary. There are mermen who are doctors. Snakes that can turn into people and become spiritual pets!!! All of that is okay by me. I barely react to any of it. Oh, sure, you can fly on your swords? Pretty cool. By far the most fantastical thing on this drama, the one that makes me react with incredulity and wonder, is the love Sifeng feels for Xuanji.
Never ever in a million years could it be true in real life (and not only because of the fantasy elements) but that's the greatest thing about this drama. That's why I love it so much. And it makes me angry.
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The whole time on ep 45 when Xuanji almost killed Sifeng by using something her senior gave her, had me screaming in desperation. Xuanji, you moron!! Thank goodness for WuZhiQi.
When the drama started, I kept looking for the big bad TM guy. As I've learned with the few costume cdramas I've seen, villains never show themselves right away. So, I wasn't expecting Dijun to be the crazy manipulating possessive obsessive bitch he turned out to be and I wasn't prepared for how much I was going to hate his character. In these last ten eps, I reached the height of my patience, my sanity limit, and I just really wanted someone to kill him everytime he opened his heavenly mouth. Damn, I wish Sifeng had really done that, instead of just being framed by the crazy bitch. 
To me, Yuan Lang nor the star of Mosha are the bad guys. It's him. 100% him. I want OTP to take revenge on him because I fear he is guilty of a lot more than we know. But woud I be lucky enough to have it my way? *sighs*
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Listen, I love Tengshe and apparently someone in the drama does as well I said it on my previous post but it's important to say it again because he keeps solving things and moving the plot ahead. This is the kind of character you want introduced (if you need to) later in any story. He went to heaven and snuck onto the forbidden library, snooping on top secret records and even went into Dijun's private chambers, to look for information or any clues on Xuanji and her past. And once he did it he descended to the mortal realm and helped Sifeng stop a catastrophe and even lectured the stupid mortals on their stupidity. On these eps, he was my fave character along with Sifeng.
The mortals are stupid, as I've stated. My Linglong went through a bunch of shit, so I dare not to say anything about her, but what about the rest of the mortals? The sect leaders with their hypocrisy and so called good ways, I almost spit blood from anger lol cdramas would make you say that. But seriously, why is it that no mortal dared to think rationally? Why are they so dumb? Xuanji's driving force in believing Sifeng was her love for him and how much she didn't wanted him to be bad, but she didn't really used her brain to think about the fact that the the evidence and what she knew were contradictory. Oh, Xuanji. You were never the brightest but I always thought your love for Sifeng could work as your conscience. And because of that, you deserved to suffer a bit when you found out how mistaken you were. Karma.
The only resourceful people here are the demons (good and bad). They get things done and I'm so happy that even though Sifeng had a crazy suicide plan that was making every mortal hate him, he had a support system and good friends by his side, that knew the truth and trusted him. Hell, Wu ZhiQi had just met him and he was already saving his life and trying to stop him from doing something crazy spoiler: he failed. These demons were such a heavy contrast with the humans. Is ironic, truly, that the "monster race" was being more honorable and actually using their heads unlike the "civilized" mortals. *Sighs deeply and shakes head* Tragic.
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Wasn’t expecting to like Wu ZhiQi so much, so fast, but I do. And he is such a mood! Plus, anyone who likes Sifeng and tries his best to help him, is on my good list.
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What a creepy nauseating move, to try to take her away on her wedding day eww disturbing as heck. I don't know what forms of therapy are like in this world, this period of time, but if killing her kidnapper/rapist/stalker is going to help my Linglong heal and put the nightmare behind her, then I cannot tell you how happy I was that it was her, the one who sent him to hell. And I got to see her fight like the badass she is. Please, please, drama. Let her be happy now. She deserves it. 
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Is so Sifeng of him to try and save Xuanji literally 15 minutes after she just tried to kill him. As angry as I was, I couldn’t help but swoon lol because here he is, desperate to save the woman he loves, no matter what things she’s done. He can’t just stand there and watch her die.
Sifeng fell for Xuanji on the Heavenly realm a thousand years ago! We still don't know the full story, but I was so happy to get a confirmation on it, and do correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Dijun didn't recognize Sifeng? Or maybe he pretended not to? Everybody from 1000 years ago recognizes Xuanji, but no one has done it with Sifeng. And yet, he clearly was there. That's weird, right? I mean, he took a few heavenly lashes for Xuanji. And he freaking was the one to stop her punishment AND he descended after her (more like fell, heh). Who on earth was this guy? Why did he have so much influence or power over what gets to be done about her? I'm not curious anymore. That doesn't describe what I feel. I'm craving for the answer, I need it.
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Ah. These two. Maybe this isn't the one sided love I thought it was, after all. Maybe Xuanji did like him before becoming a mortal. But... There are so many things that I still don't get. I got a few answers but also way more questions.
I don't want this story to end, but Sifeng and tbh Xuanji too, have suffered too much already. I gotta say that I wasn't so happy with Xuanji, in fact I was very annoyed with her especially when she drew in a sword through Sifeng's chest wtf but I can't hate this girl and tbh my love for Sifeng is greater than my annoyance/hate towards Xuanji, which means that as long as Sifeng is happy and smiling, I don't care if it's with Xuanji and if she doesn't suffer nearly a half of as much as he does. There has been enough suffering on their tenth reincarnation alone that we don't even need to take into account the other 9 lives. They deserve ALL the happiness in the world.
Hehe but that won't come easily. I'm bracing myself because I think the very worst (and the painful answers) is in the last 9 episodes but hey, it'd be worth it, theres a happy ending. That's what keeps me going 😜
Edit: lmao I just realized that I didn’t talk about the biggest revelation of all, which is that Xuanji is not only the God of War but ALSO the Star of Mosha. How does that even work? Sifeng has tried to investigate and Tengshe as well, but there’s only so much that’s recorded on the official papers, so far they’re the only ones that know the truth and Sifeng’s best bro (who found out bc there’s only one person/reason why Sifeng would ever say he’s the Star of Mosha). Looking forward to finding out the whole story.
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mego42 · 4 years
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1x07 Discussion Questions
My b! My b! I usually try to do these when the episode is fresh but instead I went to sleep, I am at peace with my priorities, tbh. As always, many thanks to @pynkhues​ for her time and energy putting these together and shout out to @foxmagpie​ for the assist. 
1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!
Lot of contenders, tbh. I really love the scene with Mary Pat when she puts together the (extremely transparent) bullshit that is the whole secret shopper scheme (I mean come on y’all, did you even try????), I love Ruby and Stan’s date (high five to Stan for coming through with my parks & rec reference, it’s nice to know there is one (1) man I can count on). The Annie and Greg bit is REALLY SWEET LEAVE ME ALONE. The god tier brio content, specifically The Grab Heard Round The World My Living Room and the Give Me A Name bit. Some classic Rio nonsense (do you think if we asked him to point to an egg he’d point to an apple?) Tyler and his “reeeeeeally fill out the surveys?” was, obvs, the best moment on the entire show. Anyway, one of those for sure.
2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?
The Boomer setting up Annie stuff always falls flat to me and idk exactly why? Like, individual pieces of it are great, Mae does EXCELLENT work post police station and when getting arrested in the first place but ultimately I find it fairly forgettable in the grand scheme of things.
3. Let’s talk about the secret shopper scheme! What do you think were the strengths of it? The flaws? Do you think it had longterm potential? Or was it always going to crash and burn?
I said this during the rewatch but I straight up blocked out the fact that all of the shoppers are hitting the same store on the same day (waving around upwards of $5k in cash???? no less???????) because my brain cannot comprehend how three women we’re supposed to believe are reasonably intelligent didn’t realize this was the stupidest, most transparently obvious, most short-sighted scheme in the entire world. 
I struggled with the sustainability of it a bit when I thought they were spreading their efforts around (they roped in A Lot of people, there are only so many Costcos in the Detroit metro area and waving around that much cash and then returning it all, again for cash, is uh, already p memorable) but I could deal with it when I thought they were spreading it around. Short-sighted, immediate solutions are a cornerstone of Beth’s brand, after all, but all of them at the same store at the same day???? Too much. I cannot. 
4. The girls spent their money in very different ways! Ruby on romancing Stan, Annie on clothes for her son, and Beth on jewellery for herself. What do you think this tells us about them and their arcs? Particularly coming off the back of Ruby’s conflict with Stan, Ben’s issues at school with clothes, and Beth leaving Rio her pearls?
Love these connects. The show’s got a pretty clearly defined and consistent visual/character motifs (this may or may not be the word I’m looking for, shut up) when it comes to depicting the girls priorities and motivations. You also see it reflected and reinforced with their repeated coping mechanisms throughout the show. Whenever bad stuff happens, Ruby goes home to Stan, Annie crawls into bed with Ben and we usually close with Beth either alone (ouch david) or connecting with Rio in some way (exhibit a: the aforementioned pearls). 
In all of the instances it comes back to the heart of their priorities:
Stan is Ruby’s number one, (which isn’t to say her kids aren’t a part of that, I think Stan is both himself in this sense while also representing her whole Hill family unit—TV is all about visual shorthand kids—but also it serves to illustrate that Ruby has something Beth and Annie do not: a true partner). 
Ben is at the root of everything Annie does, she makes choices based on not only his. well-being, but how he sees her and he has the most influence over how she sees herself and what actions she takes as a result of that.
Beth, on the other hand, is at a contrasting point. She’s done the devoted partner and mother thing (lowkey implied by the little bits and pieces we get of her and Annie’s childhoods to some degree more or less for her entire life) and is now putting herself first, her needs, her wants. Which isn’t to say she doesn’t give a fuck about her family, she waits until she’s got a fat stack of cash and they’re taken care of before splurging on a thing, but as a symbol I think the necklace pretty clearly illuminates that for whatever Beth tells herself, she’s building an empire for herself, bc she wants it, needing it is secondary.
5. Eddie’s arrest is arguably what sets us on a collision course with the finale! Do you think Eddie was loyal to Rio until the end? How much do you think he told Turner? And what sort of loyalty do you think Rio inspires in his boys? And why doesn’t it translate with the girls?
OF COURSE EDDIE WAS LOYAL TO THE END HE HAS CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED HE HAS SOME KIND OF CODE OF HONOR HOW DARE YOU SLANDER MY BOY LIKE THAT.
Tbh idk how to answer the loyalty question without more information from canon because the gang and how they operate, how they all came together, etc is pretty well shrouded in not-central-narrative-focus, though I think it’s been implied somewhat heavily that what’s going on with the girls is not standard operating procedure.
My personal headcanon for Eddie is tied up in my personal backstory for Rio and Mick that I started for my (lmao first) Mick POV fic. I gave Rio and Mick a friends since we were kids backstory and decided Eddie was a kid in their neighborhood, slightly younger then them, and always looked up to them/followed them around/thought they were cool. He ultimately got involved in crime because they did and they looked out for him and brought him up with them (which, you know, makes how it all turns out that much more tragic). Obvs, this is all just me and my tendency to imprint on random side characters and give them backstories. Let me live.
6. This episode introduces us to Mary Pat, who’s probably one of this show’s most complicated antagonists! What do you think of her generally? And could you have predicted her arc with Boomer and Turner?
I love her and I’m done lying to myself about it.
LISTEN, first off, Allison Tolman is great. Her line delivery is fantastic, she has a knack for subtly adding SO MUCH to every scene she’s in and uses her face and inflection and pauses exquisitely. Top notch comedic timing. Truly a gem.
Second, on a character level, the lady is in a bad spot and the girls basically gift-wrapped the circumstances and handed them to her like here is a present!!!!!!!!!!!! What was a struggling girl to do besides accept what was offered to her??????!!!!!!???
7. This episode features a very pivotal scene in terms of the Beth, Ruby and Annie dynamic. What starts as tension between Annie and Beth quickly pivots when Ruby criticises Beth and Annie leaps to her sister’s defence. What do you think this tells us about the dynamic between the girls as pairs and as a trio?
I am so!!!! curious!!!!!!! about the backstory that exists in the writers’ heads for Ruby and Annie (all three of them, really, but the bff and little sister having an independent friendship is of particular interest to me bc it isn’t something you, or I guess I, run into a lot) and how much of it was defined at this point vs how much it’s evolved/fluctuated as the show goes on. This fight pretty clearly illuminated that when it really comes down to it, it’s Beth and Annie vs Ruby which a) breaks my heart and b) isn’t totally a dynamic I think the show ultimately stuck with? Or maybe intentionally fluctuates? Idk this is a half-baked thought. Ask again later. 
8. Greg is the one who kisses Annie! Who do you think left who in that relationship, and/or what were the biggest issues in that relationship?
I feel like there’s pretty much no way Annie wasn’t the one that called things off with Greg. Not just because of how it plays out this time but because he’s got a kind of persistent yet also go with the flow attitude that makes me think he would absorb a lot in the name of making it work whereas Annie seems to have a pretty established history of cutting her losses and bailing when she hits her limit. Based on how fond they are of each other and how much affection they clearly still hold, I tend to assume they just grew apart as they grew up which makes it almost more complicated and tragic because it leaves all of the good stuff and just mixes it with the knowledge that it wasn’t enough. 
9. What did you think of Ruby’s sauce story? And what do you think it meant as a turning point for her arc?
I HATE THIS STORY SO MUCH USED BAND AIDS ARE GROSS ENOUGH ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT MIXING IN FOOD SERVICE AND MONTHS, MONTHS, OF MARINATION. I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.
10. Knowing that Beth, Ruby and Annie’s system of paying Mary Pat off doesn’t work, do you think there was a way they could’ve handled her on their own that would’ve worked? Or do you think Rio’s intimidation (and potential murder) tactic was the only way out?
Idk maybe I’m just cynical, but I take trust no bitch to heart, they pretty well screwed themselves into a corner by being idiots. 
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in-a-cave-with · 5 years
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What are your favorite fanfictions based in any of the Marvel comics universes?
ok this is certainly a . question. lmao . so i..have bookmarked like Three 616 fic on my actual ao3 account and i honestly dont know why. i have read so much 616 fic but i never bothered to make it a habit to .. save them . so rip me. this will be an incomplete list! huge f in the chat lads
there’s also the issue of like. pretty much all of the comics fic i like being, uh, stevetony. im a loser.
anyway.
When The Lights Go On Again by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Aliens have invaded earth, and the Avengers are scattered. While Steve leads the resistance, Tony once again finds himself playing captive scientist. In the midst of a violent alien regime, separated by seemingly insurmountable boundaries, Steve and Tony have nothing to keep themselves going but each other.rec note: i JUST read this fic and it ruined my life. go read it and ruin your life too
Resurrection, Reconstruction & Redemption by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Doom brings Steve back from the dead. Hijinks ensue, some of which might vaugely be considered plot.rec note: a classic! i think this was the first stevetony fic posted to ao3? you should def go ahead and read the rest of the series (yes it is a series yes it is 300k+ words yes it is worth it)
The Roughest Day by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Steve is in a motorcycle accident, Tony catches a cold, and someone is after the New Avengers.rec note: this gives me warm fuzzies because it’s the new avengers avenging and there isn’t enough of that
King of Infinite Space by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: A villain from Tony’s past comes back to cause trouble for the Avengers. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so easy, if things weren’t already so awkward over the events of Execute Program.rec note: it’s not a tony stan created reclist if there isn’t a tiberius stone fic somewhere on it
Winter Is All Over You by KiyaarSummary: Tony can’t remember why he’s running.rec note: *soft wheezing noises* oh,
My Mallory Heart [Add Violence Remix] by KiyaarSummary: He keeps seeing that bundle of metal set into Tony’s bare chest, the raw edges around it like Tony’s body was rejecting it. Keeps wondering: what have you done to yourself this time.rec note: *incoherent blubbering*
Sea Stars by MuccamukkSummary: Steve comes back to life somewhere entirely unexpected; Tony doesn’t remember being a hero; something is rotten in the province of British Columbia, and the 2010 Olympics are doomed.rec note: i LIVE for this fic it’s so good. the setting…the mystery…the characterization…top notch
Indelible by PenumbrenSummary: When an experiment goes awry, Tony thinks he may have found an answer to his problems and Steve faces something he’s been avoiding for a very long time.rec note: this turned out to be way sadder than i thought it was going to be
(Not So) Lonely At The Top by foldingcranesSummary: Riri has a bad day, and Tony tries to be An Emotionally Available Adult for her. It doesn’t go so bad.rec note: there isn’t enough riri fic out there…
if you leave by CapnShellheadSummary: After so many months passing each other in silence, Steve and Tony find a marriage counselor to try to work through their issues with communication.rec note: warning: fic is akin to a bat swung to the knees
Marvels: The Bloodstone Odyssey by teaberryblueSummary: The year is 1940. In the middle of the Blitz, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts set out to London to recover Howard Stark’s lost work. But it turns out that they’re not the only ones hunting for it. Tony finds himself contending with Nazis, crooks, and perhaps his most formidable adversary yet: a scrawny, asthmatic, bullheaded kid named Steve Rogers.rec note: this gives me huge indiana jones vibes and it’s GREAT
Emanata (The Comics Will Break Your Heart Remix) by teaberryblueSummary: Steve Rogers has the opportunity to fulfill his childhood dreams of becoming a comic artist when eccentric billionaire, superhero patron, and obsessive comic enthusiast Tony Stark offers him a job drawing Iron Man. But Tony Stark has no idea that Steve Rogers is really Captain America, the newest member of the Avengers. And Iron Man has no idea that Captain America is really Steve Rogers, up-and-coming comic book artist. And Steve doesn’t know what to do about the fact that he’s falling head over heels for them both.rec note: this one has a special place in my heart bc it’s the one that got me into 616 stevetony! the identity shenanigans make my head hurt and i love it
Genesis by teaberryblueSummary: Reluctant to make the truth about their secret weapon known, the American Government tells the world that Captain America is a man named Steve Rogers. According to public record, he died, tragically, in 1945, and he became legend. In 1998, the Avengers find a body trapped in ice. She’s alive. Her name is Eve. She has Captain America’s shield.rec note: i think this is the..only steve centric fic here lmao . and also technically this is a mix of 616/mcu/ults but i’m still putting it here bc it’s…very good
Highest fall you’ll ever grace by laireshiSummary: “You’ll probably want these back,” Tony says at last, and it hurts almost physically to pull the dog tags over his head and offer them to Steve. But they never really belonged to Tony, did they? Steve seems to hesitate for a second, but then he takes his dog tags with a weird expression. “Yeah,” he says. “They’re mine.”rec note: *clutches heart* hhhh
Transmission by laireshiSummary: The incursions are stopped. Steve hopes for things to go back to normal. Instead, he finds himself stranded in an alternate universe with Tony. Getting home won’t be easy. There are too many things they haven’t told each other, too many arguments they’ve never solved. Now, with just each other for company, they might have to face them all—especially as they seem to be telepathically bonded, and can’t keep anything unsaid anymore.rec note: oh boy am i a sucker for Stevetony Finding Out About The Confession
Chasing Shadows by laireshiSummary: Steve is still adjusting to the future. Tony hopes he is helping, but Steve’s and Iron Man’s morals might be too different for them to work together. Then Steve starts to act strangely, and all Tony can do is chase at shadows.rec note: this fic hurt me . that’s it that’s all i have to say
The Counselors Are In by cptxrogersSummary: Steve and Tony from Avengers Assemble open a counseling service for all the other Steves and Tonys from across the multiverse. God knows they need it.rec note: come on Other Universes GET IT TOGETHER
Think of This as Solving Problems (That Should Never Have Occurred) by SinealaSummary: No one knows Tony is Iron Man. Then Tony gets amnesia, and literally no one knows Tony is Iron Man.rec note: ok here comes the sineala spam in the reclist lmao
The Jar by SinealaSummary: The Avengers are ridiculously competitive people, and what starts out as a silly late-night team discussion quickly becomes a contest: their names. Not the code names – the nicknames. Who can go the longest without using them? They pledge to spend a week not nicknaming each other, and they’ll pay up every time they mess up. This hits Tony the hardest, and not just financially. Tony’s got a lot of nicknames for everyone, but most of all for Steve – and when Tony can’t use the names he’s already got, the names he uses reveal feelings he had no idea he had.rec note: super cute! lov those funky avenging dudes
Changeling by SinealaSummary: Instead of deleting his entire brain and reloading from a backup, Tony attempts to erase just the SHRA database from his mind. As Steve later finds out, this is unfortunately not what he actually did.rec note: *ugly sobbing* ttngngjfgnTONY ,.,,,,CAROLLLLL ,,FDF..,,KSDJBVSD ,,,S T E V E..,,,, FVKJD,,,,SFDJKDNFVNKDJFD
If You Want to Live (The Historical Present Remix) by SinealaSummary: The Civil War is over. The SHRA is gone. Steve has been brought back to life. He’s settling into his new duties as America’s top cop. His longtime friendship with Carol Danvers – Avenger, former director of SHIELD, and former leader of the pro-Registration forces – is now a tenuous one. But something is very wrong in the world. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Someone is missing. Tony Stark was killed at the age of seventeen, and it’s up to Steve to travel into the past to save a man he doesn’t remember from a man he knows all too well: a mysterious assassin from another time and place, a man with a metal arm. And the truth is more complicated than anyone could ever have guessed.rec note: super interesting fic! the Plot is,,……. some güd shit
Straight on till Morning by SinealaSummary: Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he’d never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony’s own design. What’s more, the Avenger’s captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive… and very, very attractive. But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own – and the truth could change everything.rec note: ok there is, like, really weird porn in this fic but it’s a STAR TREK CROSSOVER and that’s all that really matters. and also it’s very heartfelt and the action is  r e a l l y   i n t e n s e
Your Name on Every Wall by SinealaSummary: The Time Gem throws Steve into the past rather than the future, and in doing so, it gives him the opportunity to undo his past mistakes. But when it turns out that all of his mistakes involve Tony Stark, Steve begins to wonder if he’s ever going to be able to mend things between them.rec note: wow…….stevetony…….. am i right boys?
Get Some Now by SinealaSummary: Avengers Mansion has a mysterious feline infestation. Meanwhile, Steve just can’t figure out how to ask Tony out on a date. And the thirteen teleporting cats sure aren’t helping matters any.rec note: as you all may know. i am an active member of the “tony…..but give him a cat” movement and this fic brings me great joy
Sucker Punch by Sineala Summary: Steve never quite warms to Tony Stark, Avengers benefactor. The Molecule Man never strips Iron Man out of his armor. Life goes on for the Avengers, but as disagreements split the team – and Shellhead and Winghead – again and again, Steve wonders why Iron Man always picks Tony over him. And when Steve finds out, it happens in the worst way possible.rec note: and here is a fic that does NOT bring me great joy and instead goes out of its way to hurt me in every way it can
Tony Stark Advises The Avengers by copperbadgeSummary: Somehow, Tony Stark ended up Team Dad.rec note: ANAD AVENGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zero Sum by CraitSummary: Did you do your best, Anthony? And did your best only make things worse?rec note: let ao3 user crait write marvel comics, they clearly understand tony’s character better than anyone who’s written him in the past 10 years
22 notes · View notes
laeana · 4 years
Note
All the questions :p gl
Okay then I’m gonna do my best to answer this xD
1: are there any fics that you wanted to leave multiple kudos for, and were disappointed when you could only leave one?
I can say there were too many fics where I wanted to leave more than one kudos ! this is the kind of story i’m coming back to some nights, when i say a new chapter has been post (hourray!), and then at the end of the chapter i’m juste like : pls let me give more thanks to this author, he/she deserves it so much !
I’m only going to give three examples bc otherwise, i’m gonna stay here the whole night !
9 million followers and still all i want is you by simplyverstappen, here as @verstappened​ but the entire Youtube AU serie is golden.
Three Wishes for Verstappen by PoemAboutCityLights that is amazing, i loved everything from the beginning to the end.
now we’re sleeping near the edge by Directionless_Foray that captivates me with a ship I hadn’t read until then.
2: coffeeshop AU or soulmate AU?
I’m so, so, so in love with soulmate AU. It is always something to think about how our fates may be connected to one another. I like that thought and, more than anything, it could help me, a poor and lonely soul, to find real love. And also, it is really easy to romanticize it or turn it funny. So I’m like 100% soulmate AU.
3: slowburn or established relationship?
Slowburn. I like developping relationship and begin from zero to something more complicated. I like all the emotions you can have, insecurities, uncertainties ... from someone who is slowly falling in love and who is terrified by that.
4: has a fic ever made you cry?
nope. Never. But it’s really hard to make me cry over something. Like if one of my relatives die, I would probably cry a lot but I never cried when reading a book, seeing a movie ... except for the Little Prince.
5: what category of fics do you read the most? (angst, fluff, etc)
I read a lot of angst. And write a lot of angst too. I don’t know why, I must like to see people suffering ... 
i just find a certain beauty in people who have been bruised and that still find force to stand.
6: what’s your least favourite fanfic category?
Hard to tell. I don’t know ... i think any category can shelter masterpiece, depending on who is writing and why and if they got the right inspiration at the right moment ... etc. So I cannot resolve myself to fully dislike one category.
7: would you rather read a plot-focused fic or pwp? 
Plot-focused. No particular reason. 
9: what are your favourite ships to read fics for?
If we are taking every single fandom I entered in, I can say for sure Maxiel, Deledier, Lochte/Phelps (though no one write about them anymore) and Stormpilot. 
10: have/would you read a reader-insert fic?
I already did. Quite a few. I was really curious about it and it’s not that unpleasant. Maybe not my cup of tea though.
11: ever read guilty pleasure fics?
Guilty pleasure fic ? ...nah, no guilty pleasure over here. Only pleasure :D
12: first-person or third person fics?
Mostly third person. I gave up on first-person fic and found more enjoyable third person fics. Some personal experiments discourage me to write while using first-person in fact. I’m recovering slowly and trying my best to put myself at work and end up some writing with first-person perspective !
13: do you read author’s notes usually?
Yes, I like to see if they want to share anything with us, readers. It may be anything, only a few words, but it may be important to their eyes. I try to pay attention to this, now that i write too.
14: what’s your favourite AU setting?
University AU. Or like, usually, anything that puts characters in a school context. I found it pretty funny and this can already give us some issues to develop through our characters.
15: do you usually leave comments on chapters/fics?
I try. To fics that gave me a big, big feelings/impressions. There is so much I want to say to writers but often I read fics really late and my brain isn’t able to work enough to give me a correct english. So mostly I tell myself I’ll come back tomorrow. And I forget too often, that’s a shame.
16: fix-it fics or au fics?
That’s a good question ! x) I’m gonna stay with au, though i really like fix-it fics because it is always soothing when you are able to rewrite what happens. Because often it hurts and it may be tragical and sometimes we wish we could do the same with the reality ... 
and then au fics is somehow directly thinking about another reality, ignoring what we know right now and totally change things and I love that. Absolutely amazing.
17: canon-compliant or canon, what canon?
Canon. It may seems weird for someone who just said prefering au fics but it’s just like this. I can’t really explained it to myself ...
18: have you ever read fics you would not confess to reading?
Once again, nope. I think many have their own likings and if reading that fic is a shame for someone, it is certainly not for somebody else. I often choose what I read before I read it, i don’t have in mind any fics i’m somehow ashamed to have read.
19: undercover au or college au?
Ooooh, undercover au sounds nice. I think I never wrote about it, i should try one day ! but i’m staying with college au.
20: what something that immediately makes you exit out of a fic?
a ship that i don’t like ? i may stay if the story is good but it makes me cringe a bit and my mind can’t stay focus on a damn thing. I’m somehow too loyal to my own ships, it’s annoying ... x)
Okay i’m tired and tomorrow I have class so I’m just gonna leave this like that, hoping I didn’t make too much grammatical errors and that I didn’t take too much of your time if you ever read this.
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blookmallow · 4 years
Text
AND WE FINALLY FINISH THIS NIGHTMARE
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check out that cool shot i managed to catch directly when the lightning struck. ill get to that moment a lil later but im still psyched about that. ok anyway
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this would be sweet in theory but jessica’s model moves Really weird along with you and it’s mostly just very unsettling 
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oh i already don’t like you
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hhhhhhhh fuck fuck fuck this is bad 
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what the fuck have you been doing to her
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THIS IS SO FUCKING NASTY GET OUT OF MY FACE 
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also wouldn’t be surprised if the placement of the. “responsibility” sign directly outside the door when blake. walks away from that situation. was intentional
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god. this whole mess would be horrific for anyone to go through but blake’s got some really specific trauma here that canNOT be helping. fuck
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uH
TH...ANK S?? I THINK ????
im not sure WHAT just happened but i think the cultists caught the heretics and started killing everybody which is FINE BY ME I’LL BE OVER HERE GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF THIS MINE 
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I GOT LYNN THOUGH AND SHE LOOKS LIKE SHIT BUT SHE’S ALIVE AND ALSO NOT MISSING HER LEGS EVEN THOUGH IT REALLY LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS 
im still not sure what the fuck happened here i guess. psychosomatic pregnancy combined with hallucination caused by trauma and Murkoff Fuckery but THEY SURE DON’T BOTHER TO TELL YOU THAT :’) it took me hours of scouring wiki pages and also reading the extra comics i had no idea existed bc the game doesn’t mention them to find out what the FUCK happened
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lynn seems to believe it’s blake’s child, which i guess is a moot point if the baby never existed in the first place, but probably confirms it was a trauma/hallucination/whateverthefuck situation and she wasn’t cheating on him even if it still logically couldn’t be his because of the timeframe 
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honey that’s not jessica,
i really, really don’t think blake is okay
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yOU DON’T SAY :’ ) 
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FUCKINGSHITFUCKGODHELLFUCKING FUCK YOU NOT AGAIN
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fuCKINg HELL
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,,,,well
if that wasnt divine intervention i dunno what is 
really fond of the outlast tradition of “horrible, awful thing relentlessly pursues you until you FINALLY witness their gruesome death and have a brief fleeting moment of peace” though
i. guess it’s just knoth left now, huh. 
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lynn: [in hysterics, probably dying, apparently about to give birth] 
me: wait hold ON a second check out this GRAVEYARD
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god she’s on the fucking torture rack 
this is, quite possibly, the worst fucking scenario to give birth in 
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GOD that was. not a pleasant scene and i was going to comment on the sheer ridiculousness of a woman giving birth in like One push and the entire baby’s just Out but if this didn’t really happen/was hallucinatory that would. explain that 
and i am, regardless, immensely grateful they decided to let this just be over in like 5 seconds and didn’t make me go through a long laborious graphic birthing scene bc outlast absolutely would do that and i dunno if i coulda handled it much longer than it was :’  ) 
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still dont know what this was about either, if the pregnancy and the baby were hallucinations, lynn was under that same hallucination too she believed she was pregnant and about to give birth, so why wouldn’t she see the baby. if its real and she’s the one hallucinating that it isn’t there that means literally EVERYTHING ELSE now makes no sense whatsoever. did she get released from the hallucination right at this moment for some reason. and if she did why didn’t blake. knoth sees the baby too so he’s clearly still sharing the same hallucination (or, again, if lynn is the one hallucinating and the baby is real HOW THE FUCK DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN) 
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i really like blake and all but some part of me just really wishes we could’ve had lynn’s side of this story 
she went through hell too, she went through unspeakable things too, and we don’t get to see her fighting, we don’t get to see her story, she doesn’t make it out and she just gets reduced to the Woman Who You, A Man, Must Protect until she tragically dies at the last minute 
and blake is so far gone at this point he can’t even differentiate between his wife and jessica anymore. lynn just gets completely shoved out of her own story and im not blaming blake for that, it’s not irredeemable to have loved someone else once, and of course he’s not going to be over that considering he practically witnessed her fucking murder and all the shit he’s going through directly parallels that trauma AND he’s got. whatever murkoff fuckery is going on in his brain too 
but i do blame the writers for doing this to her 
and they had that line early on (in this same room even) like “why do they always hurt women to get to men” which. i guess parallels this scene too but i had been interpreting it like “why the fuck are women always reduced to just the victims, why do men feel like they have to prove their point by hurting women” and blake’s clearly not the hyper-masculine Hero type, he’s strong enough to tear his hands off a cross, sure, but at heart he’s just a scared camera guy who has no idea what the fuck is going on or what to do and this experience clearly breaks him 
but then. lynn’s just the victim too. and doesn’t get to have her own story. she dies on a torture rack minutes before she could have escaped this hell (assuming blake didn’t just die too. it’s not clear. i think the comic said he was still breathing) after all that she dies and her husband doesn’t even remember her name
i dont know. i cant get a coherent thought together on this but i just. dont like it 
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anyway i. guess im responsible for a BABY now, as well, 
im really glad this was the end of the game bc i do NOT think i could have coped with. going through more of this While Also Carrying An Infant :’) 
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WHAT PARADISE, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT 
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congratulations. hope you’re proud of yourself. please get away from me
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ARE YOU PERHAPS, MAYBE, FIGURING SOMETHING OUT HERE. REALIZING SOME MISTAKES THAT MAY HAVE BEEN MADE. POSSIBLY. YOU SHIT 
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OR HOW ABOUT I DONT DO THAT 
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oh
well.
saves me the trouble of dealing with you, i guess. not that he probably would have been very good at pursuing me anyway, but 
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,,,well. bye then,
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that sure did happen, didn’t it 
,,,what do i even Do now 
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the sun is rising, though
cliché as it is i still love “the sun rises at the end of the Horror” anyway :’)
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boy am i glad my baby won’t remember this
and probably isn’t real in the first place, but you know,
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looks like everyone who was left did a mass suicide and i cant say i feel all that sorry about it 
does that sun look a little too close or 
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oh fuck
WELL THE SUN EXPLODED, SO THAT’S. GOOD 
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wait what am i doing back here
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AND THAT’S THE END, FOLKS, THAT’S IT 
I DIDN’T NEED ANY ANSWERS OR CLOSURE OR ANYTHING, THAT’S FINE :’) THANKS RED BARRELS 
2 notes · View notes
Note
This week’s ask meme Monday theme is “I make my friends do math” SO start at the top and answer prime numbers until you 1) run out of characters 2) run out of prime numbers or 3) lose interest. STEM boy
:(
but i’m still doing it. randomly rolling starting with pcs, then npcs, then stopping
1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? Isaac: so i don’t know how much i’ve said on here about what isaac’s experience in hell actually Was Like. and i think I’ve used the word “puppet” before, and I think that was what it was like. she doesn’t remember a whole lot about it, because for the most part, she just wasn’t there. if she really tried, i think she could remember specific things, but she doesn’t Like To. it’s remembering when you had no choice or control, when your body wasn’t your own and you had to smile and laugh for things with too many hands and tails and teeth. a devil full ass remade her as a tiefling, grew her horns slowly but surely through the skin of her cheeks, up and through and out her eye sockets. like. shits fucked. now that she has her brain back, shes Very afraid of the thing that did that to her.
2. What is your character’s happiest memory? Nyxi: her patron probably had a kid while she was working with her and oh my god...... thinking about her and that tiny small little baby while her patron recovered....... knowing that no she wasn’t the one to give birth to them but they’re going to be, like their siblings have been, just a much a child of hers as theyve all been. she loved all her kids, of course, but there was something special about holding that baby in the first few hours of their life, watching them grow up and helping them with that growth. she’d probably rank those first few hours among the happiest of her life, for sure.
3. What’s one skill your character really wishes they had? Sarril: hmmmm. the ability to heal, maybe? I think that’s the kind of skill he would like. there’s just something nice about like. even if you get too angry and go too far there’s still a way for you to make it right, you know?
skipping 5 bc I don’t care for it overmuch
7. Have they ever encountered someone they really wanted to kill? Zephyr: no. like does she dislike a lot of people? sure! but she’s been mostly a stay-in-the-ivory-tower kind of person, and as such hasn’t really made any enemies. rivals, sure, yeah, and I doubt she made many friends before she entered into the academy. but she doesn’t want to kill anyone. (yet.)
11. What was something they struggled with greatly and how did they overcome it? Legacy: hmmmmm. I think legacy struggled a lot with like.... Mattering, if that makes sense? I think she got her Powers rather early in life because her grandmother looked at her immediately post her spouse dying and went “yeah she’s old enough” and came by like “yo adore whats up. want some cool Spells (eventually) and also to be my grandchild” and legacy, then adore, then 9 years old, said “boy WOULD I!!!!!” and then she spent the next eight or nine years really struggling with what to do with them? she’s got spells at this point and all she’s done is work in a print shop. at some point she turned to petty crime because she was good at lying her ass off, and then eventually she got a sword and went to Adventure because she straight up didn’t know what else she wanted to do. it’s only now that she’s kind of figuring out that like. yeah she does kinda like adventuring? even more when there’s people around her.
13. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with? Zier: so like......... yes and no? zier sucks. zier sucks big time. and I think the closest thing he has at least at the points i’ve played him, are MAYBE one of his little siblings. like yes he’s meant to be making them paranoid and selfish. but also maybe he has a little sister who’s just always been a bit too soft for his family. and maybe he remembers that he’s the only boy in his family because his oldest sister killed the other one. so maybe he’s a little protective but very good at pretending like he isn’t. maybe his littlest sister knows better than to trust him even if she’s soft, so he’ll never have much more of a relationship with her than that. and maybe he wishes that it was different. and maybe he knows better.
17. How was their childhood? Did their parents treat them fairly? Did they have any really good friends? Kenny: kenny had a very nice set of parents and I think I said in game that he had a little brother but I also think he might’ve been an only child? idk. but this ask doesn’t ask that!!! his parents were very fair. maybe a little lax but only because kenny was a pretty Good Kid. and I do think he kind of sees them through rose colored glasses now that theyre gone but they were pretty good. his tragic backstory focuses on Losing them. in addition, I think he did have some really good friends! he’s a charming boy and pretty friendly, and it was a decently small village. I think he found some other folk his own age and they played together when they were young and that translated into proper friendship as they got older.
19. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? Ecstasy: okay so. I made it semi canon that when she got the reapers hand, it may or may not have made her shoot her best friend point blank to devour her soul when it got hungry. I am canonizing this. this did happen, and it was the reason ecstasy started taking rogue levels instead of fighter levels. she like. got back to using guns? but she handed over her hugely cursed but also HUGELY powerful gun to her fuckbuddy’s friend without much of a fight, I’ll tell you that much.
23. Does your character know any languages apart from their native language? What one would they like to learn? Glade: lemme look at his character sheet. okay he only knows common and orcish. he uses common a lot more than he uses orcish, but orcish was his first language and now that he has red he uses it a lot more, trying to have her pick it up as a language too. and this is a predictable answer but still true: if he had much time to learn a language, he’d learn infernal. he knows a few words because he’s married to a tiefling, but he doesn’t have the bloodline-given understanding of the language like they do and he would Like To Know What His Wife And Two Year Old Are Giggling About, Please.
29. If they could change just one thing about themselves, what would it be? Endurance: so. like. I don’t know if endurance would change anything about herself??? actually no she would. she would love it if she were more decisive. like, relentless decided to fall and decided to claw her way back to amaunator’s side, and endurance like. isn’t like that at all. I think a lot of her regrets are still tied up in “should I have turned lent into the crownsguard” and because of the violence that happened, she shouldn’t have. but like. she REALLY hates how unsure she is about the circumstances surrounding it, you know? she didn’t heal her, she didn’t really try and stop it until it was too late, and she hasn’t accepted that she was passive in those circumstances. at least if she were more decisive, she thinks she would have already made peace with the things she did pre and post lent’s fall.
31. How patient is your character with others? Do they find it easy to handle people that try and bug them, or hard? Iris: very patient. she’s a princess and also deals with motherfuckers unlimited Literally Constantly. she’s SO patient. however. she also takes no shit. if someone is trying to bug her, then she will not attempt to deal with it. her ability to have Diplomacy means that she can rather easily and relatively politely just go “you are not having this conversation with me in a respectful manner. if you can stop deliberately prodding me for a reaction, we can continue with what we are discussing. if you cannot or refuse to respect me and my time here with you, then I am stopping the conversation here. which option would you like?”
skipping 37 as well
41. Where do they live? What is that place like, do they enjoy living there? Kiya: kiya likes highgrasp! she probably likes it more than any other place she’s lived. it’s a nice city, it’s a clean city, she likes the ocean, and she likes the job she got there. not much to complain about!
43. What are they like when they’re drunk? Don’t be a prude and tell me they’ve never been smashed before. Coriander: zephyr and coriander are the Same when drunk. Loud and Intelligent. coriander also may be a Horny drunk but that may be because she just likes talking about her spouse and thinks (rightly so) that they are Sexy. she will get on her construct to be eight feet taller than most opponents and she will Debate them about magical theory whether they want to be a part of the conversation or not. Fucka You.
0 notes
jaeminlore · 7 years
Text
Enchanted // Moon Bin
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the prompt: may I please request the mermaid/enchanted voice au with Moonbin of Astro?? (from this au) “I’m a mermaid/merman, and you’ve fallen in love with my voice. How do I break it to you that you don’t actually love me, you’re just enchanted?”
words: 3922
category: fluff + angst
author note: have you guys heard the new astro songs yet? the aroha song is so sweet! for this scenario i decided to make moonbin the mermaid rather than the reader, which i feel like was the best decision bc now i’m in love with this mermaid au. also, i might do a spin-off of this for eunwoo?? or a sequel for bin?? probably both?? anyway, pls enjoy merman bin~
- destinee
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“Try to keep up!” Moonbin shouted to Eunwoo as the two of them swam towards the harbor.
“Bin,” Eunwoo had to swim faster just to keep up with his friend’s excited form. “Why do you always want to visit the harbor? What if the fishermen hear us?”
Moonbin paused his swimming, his fish tail curling defensively. “I’ve always liked visiting the humans.”
There was no way he was going to tell Eunwoo about his fascination with one of the fishermen’s daughters, who came to the harbor often to help her father. He had noticed you only a few months ago, and yet he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to always see you.
Eunwoo exhaled, causing little bubbles to rise to the surface of the ocean. “You know we shouldn’t be this close to humans. What if they hear us? They could drown themselves looking for us.”
“I know that. That’s why we don’t sing,” Moonbin reasoned.
He knew the risk that came with being a siren. One note heard by a human could make them crazy, causing them to search the ends of the earth until they found the voice. Most of the time, they drowned themselves without a care. The dangerous thought of finding the beautiful voice would be the only thing, and the last thing, on their mind. A voice to fall in love with instantly proved a tragic pitfall to many sailors.
Moonbin couldn’t help but feel a bit of resentment. If he could just talk to you, things might work out. Except, if he forgot, and even one word came out in sing-song, you were doomed. It was horrid dark magic that Moonbin was rationally afraid of.
Moonbin swam upwards until his head broke the surface. Eunwoo followed him. Together they watched the fishermen in silence.
Moonbin would never know that Eunwoo himself loved coming to the harbor. Eunwoo was very secretive about his personal reason for coming with Moonbin.
“Let’s go behind those rocks,” Eunwoo suggested.
Moonbin agreed, and the two swam leisurely towards a cluster of clay rocks and ridges.
Moonbin placed his arms on one of the lower rocks and lifted himself onto it. “Look! There’s a clear view of them here.”
“Really?” Eunwoo inquired. He, too, lifted himself onto the rock to stare at the humans.
“Yeah, watch!” Moonbin scooted over to make room for his friend.
His gaze drifted towards you, wearing shorts that portrayed your tanned legs. You were holding a box for your father, a shining smile on your face. Moonbin rested his chin on his hand and focused on your hair, wrapped in a wavy ponytail.
He wanted to know your name. He wanted to know what things made you smile. He wanted to know if you liked the same things he liked. Things like collecting shells, having swimming competitions, and laying out in the sun.
“Oh, I get it,” Eunwoo said, shoving Bin in the shoulder. “You like a human.”
“So?” Moonbin retorted defensively. “It’s not like I can meet her.”
“Right,” Eunwoo agreed. “We can’t put them in danger.”
“I know.”
“Good. I need to go now. See you later,” Eunwoo said.
“Alright, bye.”
-
As soon as Eunwoo left, Moonbin was left to watch you in peace. You weren’t doing much; just helping your father load boxes onto his boat. Still, Moonbin couldn’t help but feel somewhat attracted to you.
It is very dangerous to get lost in a moment, and yet that is where Moonbin was.
He folded his arms and rested his chin there, feeling the soft breeze play with his hair. His eyes were locked on your form, his mind made up stories in which the two of you could meet.
It is good to remember that sirens cannot always control their emotions. They are creatures who feel things very deeply, and a crush is no exception.
When a siren needs to let out their emotions, they do the obvious and sing.
So Moonbin began to hum a soft love song under his breath. Nothing loud, nothing alluring. Just a simple tune to let out his current feelings.
Perhaps it got louder, or you got closer, but Moonbin noticed the subtle incline of your head and stopped humming immediately.
Only it was too late. Moonbin could see the desire appear in your irises.
You placed the last box in your father’s hand and looked around the dock for the source of the humming you had heard.
Moonbin cursed under his breath and ducked down, watching you walk aimlessly around the dock.
-
The merman in front of you was beautiful. His long tail was a cobalt blue, with scales that reflected the sun. Water gently lapped against his tail.
His hair was a soft brown, tossled and slightly wet from the ocean water. He had big, sleepy eyes the color of chocolate.
He looked troubled. You squated down and crossed your arms over your knees. “Hello.”
His eyes shifted towards you, and you could see clear regret in them. “Hello,” he said reluctantly.
A stirring feeling appeared in your heart at his soft voice. It was like a big puppy had washed up on the beach and had graced you with his presence.
Was this love at first sight?
You certainly felt a strange desire for this boy like you’ve never felt before. A very strong urge to follow this boy to the ends of the earth appeared in your brain, and you didn’t feel up to disobeying.
“What’s your name?” You asked.
“Moonbin,” he said. “I am going to go, now.”
“Wait!” You reached out and grabbed his bare arm. He stopped, waiting for what you would say. “I want to go with you, Moonbin.”
“No, you don’t.” His voice was sad, although you couldn’t understand why.
“Of course I do,” you countered. “I want to see you again.”
Moonbin pressed his lips together. “Promise me you won’t follow me into the water, and I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“I promise,” you agreed swiftly, showing him your pinkie finger.
After linking pinkies to seal the deal, Moonbin escaped to the water. You let him go, already anticipating the next day.
-
“I can’t believe I did that!” Moonbin said angrily. He swam back and forth in front of Eunwoo, who looked very nervous.
“What if the elders find out? They’ll punish you!”
“Who cares?” Moonbin cried. “The bigger problem is that I could kill her!”
Eunwoo tapped his finger against his chin, “Well she hasn’t followed you into the water yet. I suppose if you keep your promise and go see her, the curse might be quenched momentarily.”
“So I should keep entertaining her fake love for me?”
“I think it would keep her safe,” Eunwoo concluded.
-
You waited on the rocks, running your fingers through the salty ocean water. All morning and afternoon you had waited, hoping for just a glance of the merman.
If he didn’t come soon, you felt inclined to jump into the ocean and go find him yourself.
Luckily, you wouldn’t have to.
Moonbin appeared and gave you a soft smile, pushing himself onto the rocks. You had worn your nicest shorts and shirt, along with a pretty seashell anklet your mother had given you.
“Hello, Moonbin,” you smiled at him.
A blush appeared on the merman’s face and he turned away, muttering a soft greeting in return.
“You never asked for my name,” You reminded him. “So I thought you should know that my name is Y/n.”
“Y/n,” he repeated. The name sounded nice coming out of his mouth.
“That’s me,” you laughed softly. Your eyes drifted to his tail, the dark blue blending in with the ocean water. “Hey, can I touch your scales?”
Moonbin looked surprised, but not the least bit offended. “Um, sure.”
You shuffled lower on the rock until you were sitting beside Moonbin’s tail. He turned over and leaned on his elbows, watching you. “Why?”
“They’re pretty,” you answered. Then you sent him a shy smile. “Blue is my favorite color.”
“Mine too,” Moonbin said, grinning as you lightly poked his tail. “It’s not going to hurt you, Y/n.”
There was your name again. It sounded so heavenly coming from his lips. You weren’t sure you would ever get used to the fresh batch of butterflies that appeared in your stomach when he spoke.
Hesitantly, you ran your hand down the dark blue scales. A giggle escaped your mouth and you jerked your hand away. “It just feels like a dead fish.”
Moonbin scoffed. He flipped his tail away from you jokingly. “It is a lot nicer than a dead fish.”
“Doesn’t feel like it,” you teased him.
-
Moonbin’s heart fluttered for a moment. Why did you sound like a friend and not like a person under a siren’s spell?
It was hard for him not to fall for you when you seemed so sincere in your words. You seemed so real, so fond of him that he nearly felt inclined to believe that you weren’t under a spell.
His heart fell at the reality.
“I’m just teasing,” you told him, noticing the worry lines between his brows.
“I know,” he smiled reassuringly. “I was just…thinking.”
You chose to sit beside him, so that your arms brushed against each other occasionally. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Moonbin blinked and stared up at the sky. You shouldn’t be asking these questions. The siren spell should be solely a physical desire. No emotions save lust should appear in the victim’s heart.
“It’s complicated,” was all he said. How could he explain to her something he himself wasn’t even sure of?
Your hand found his, and Moonbin’s heart began beating erratically again. He hated this. His feelings weren’t supposed to be this strong. Not for you, a simple human.
Yet he found himself squeezing your hand back.
-
Eunwoo looked read out of a book in the underwater library, “It says here that if the human is very sensitive, romantic feelings may be added to the feeling of lust, or even replaced. Sensitive people are more affected by smaller gestures of love than lustful actions. That must explain her behavior.”
Moonbin buried his head in his arms. “It would be easier if I didn’t like her already,” he groaned.
What kind of friend was fate, anyway? Giving Moonbin the love of his life, but only under a curse.
“You know,” Eunwoo addressed his friend calmly, “There may be a potion we can give her.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know this sea witch,” Eunwoo started. “She can get me a potion that will make the human forget. It will be like she never heard your voice in the first place.”
Moonbin gulped. The selfish part of him didn’t want this. The selfish part of him wanted to keep visiting her. “We should do it.”
“It’ll take about a week to brew, I suppose. You’ll have to keep the human from doing anything rash until then.”
“Okay,” Moonbin said. “I can do this.”
-
You and Moonbin lay side by side on the rock you two often met at.
“Do sea animals talk?” You asked him. His hand was once again in yours, and he found himself squeezing it every so often, just to make sure this was real.
Your inquisitive spirit and soft voice only made him fall harder for you.
“Not that I know of,” he laughed. “It’s just the merpeople that talk.”
“That’s too bad,” you pouted. “I wanted to talk to a dolphin.”
“I have a better idea,” Moonbin said. “Wait here.”
He pushed himself into the water, only to reappear a few second later with two dolphins behind him. “Wanna go for a ride?”
“Do I?” You hurriedly slipped out of your sandals and jumped into the water. “Hello,” you giggled as one of the dolphins nuzzled you.
“Just hold onto his fin lightly, and he’ll take you on a ride.”
You obeyed, bracing your body against the dolphin and grabbing the dorsal fin.
“This is so much fun!” You squealed as the dolphin pulled you around the surface of the ocean. “Is this what it’s like to be a mermaid?”
“Sort of.” Moonbin chuckled at your childlike excitement as he swam beside your dolphin. Eventually, the dolphin got tired and swam away, leaving you floundering in the water.
“Rude,” you huffed, trying to stay above the slow waves.
Moonbin smiled fondly and swam over, gathering you into his arms. “Hold on to me,” he said.
You oblidged, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his hips. “So basically, you can give me an underwater piggyback ride?”
“That’s a horrible idea,” Moonbin said, hosting you up so he had a better grip on you. His face was going hot at they way your body pressed against his. “Let’s go back to the rocks and dry off in the sun.”
You had a towel in your bag, so you laid that out and sat on it while Moonbin sat beside you, flipping his tail every so often.
“I’ve never seen a sunset before,” he mentioned.
You glanced at the the sun, halfway behind the surface of the ocean. The reflection against the water was made of pretty colors like oranges, pinks, and purples.
You could even see your little dolphin friends playing off in the distance. “What’s it like under there?”
Moonbin looked at you, “Well, it’s a lot like up here. The only differences are the tails,” he flipped his own to make a point. “And the gills,” he poked at the little slits behind his ear.
You furrowed your eyebrows, “So you’re an amphibian?”
“Gross!” Moonbin shoved you lightly, smiling. “I’m just a merman.”
“I want to be a mermaid,” you blurted. You wriggled your toes, “I would have a light blue tail and pretty white seashells in my hair.”
Moonbin cleared his throat to dismiss the thought from his head. It was frivolous to think of you as a mermaid. That was impossible. “You don’t get to choose your tail color, Silly.”
Your smile grew, “It’s just a dream, Moonbin. I can have whatever tail color I want.”
“I suppose,” Moonbin agreed, staring at you. “You’d be a beautiful mermaid, you know?”
Your eyes met his, catching the sincerity. “Yeah?”
Moonbin had no idea what possessed him to kiss you, but suddenly his lips were slowly moving against yours. One of his hands moved to cup your face, while the other one squeezed your hip lightly. As he deepened the kiss, you responded eagerly, so much that Moonbin forgot once again that you were under a spell.
When the two of you parted, Moonbin’s eyes averted to his lap.
“Are you shy?” You asked.
Moonbin tried not to look at you. Your cheeks were flushed and your lips were a tad swollen. Moonbin felt anyone would fall in love with you looking like that.
“I’m not,” he finally answered.
You nudged his tail with your toe, “Then, are you tired?”
“A bit,” He lied.
“Go get some rest.”
“Okay.”
“You’ll come see me tomorrow, right?” A worried tone overtook you tvoice. The urge to follow him into the ocean filled your mind once more.
“Of course. I’ll see you in the morning this time,” Moonbin said.
“Good.” You weren’t sure how long you could manage without him.
-
Moonbin watched you as you drew in your notebook. Your hair was down, covering half of your face from his view. As you drew, your lower lip stayed pinned under your teeth in concentration. The only time you moved was to pick up a different colored pencil. “Are you done yet?”
“No,” you said. “Do you know how hard it is to capture your eyes?”
“Show me!” Moonbin whined, lifting himself onto his hands to try and get a peek of your drawing.
“No!” You pressed the notebook to your chest and stuck your tongue out at him. “Be patient.”
Moonbin pouted and slumped down, decided to give up and rest his head on his folded arms instead. “Meanie.”
“That’s me,” you replied, not looking up from your work.
The merman poked your foot. “Y/n, are you done yet?”
“No.”
“Now?”
“No.”
“What about now?”
“No.”
“Now?”
“Yes!” You proudly held up your notebook for him to see. “Look how good I did.”
Moonbin choked back a laugh. You drew a stick figure torso on a scarcely detailed mermaid tail. Without waiting for his reply, you pointed to the figure’s face. “I think the eyes really sell it. I used a red-brown pencil instead of a yellow-brown one.”
Moonbin pushed you away from him, snorting in laughter. “Why are you like this?”
You shrugged, smirking, “I guess it’s just part of my charm.”
“Sure,” Moonbin agreed with an eye roll. The whole time, his heart was beating irregularly.
-
Moonbin sat on his bed, looking at the drawing you had drawn for him. His heart fluttered every time he glanced at the soggy paper.
“Bin? Are you in there?” Eunwoo asked from outside the door.
“Yeah, come in.” He tucked the paper under his bed, hiding it from his friend’s view.
“Bad news and good news.” Eunwoo said, closing the door behind him. “Which one do you want to hear first?”
“Good news, of course.”
“Okay,” Eunwoo sighed, “So the human will be freed from the spell sooner than we thought.”
“Oh,” That was the good news? “What’s the bad news?”
“Well, obviously you can’t see her again.”
“Right,” Moonbin said. Then, sounding resolved, he gave Eunwoo what he hoped was a convincing smile. “Well, the sooner the better, right?”
Eunwoo’s eyes spoke of pity, “Alright. I’ll bring it to you tomorrow.”
“Great!” Moonbin forced out a smile. “Thanks, Eunwoo.”
-
“Y/n, did you wait here all day?”
The next day, you were sitting on the rocks, reading a book. Setting it aside, you smiled the merman. “I always wait for you. I only go home to sleep and change.”
“Do you eat?”
“Yeah,” you shrugged. “Just a bit.”
“You need to eat,” he said earnestly.
Your heart fluttered at his words. “I had a sandwich today, don’t worry.”
His soft gaze enamored you more than you cared to admit. You felt as if you and this boy had created a bond in a week that could never be replaced. You hoped he would never leave you.
“What’s a sandwich?” he asked, breaking the silence. His eyebrows knotted together and he cocked his head to the side.
A giggle escaped your lips. “You don’t know what a sandwich is?”
“No.”
“Wait here,” you instructed. “I’ll be right back!”
-
Moonbin watched as you jumped up and ran in the opposite direction of him.
He chuckled to himself for awhile until he thought about having to give you the potion. The vial felt heavy hanging from his waist. For a selfish moment, he thought of breaking the vial and keeping it from you. He thought of just living this facade for the rest of his life.
That wouldn’t be fair to you.
An entire life was waiting for you, far far away from him and his cursed voice. He would have to give you the potion. It was the right thing to do.
“I’m back!” You yelled, running towards him with a bag in your hand.
You took out the contents: bread, jelly, peanut butter, and a knife. “Okay, this is how you make a sandwich. You take one piece of bread and spread the jelly over it. Then, take the opposite piece of bread and spread the peanut butter on it. Now all you do is press the two bread slices together and it’s ready to eat!” You held the sandwich out for him. “Try it.”
Moonbin, unafraid of much, took a large bite of the unfamiliar food. The flavors in his mouth weren’t recognized, but they also weren’t unwelcome. “This is good.”
“I know right? I live off of these things since I’m so busy with exams lately.”
“You go to school?”
“Yeah.” You pointed away from him, “Over in the city. I’m in my senior year.”
“Have you been this week?”
Your face scrunched up in thought, “I suppose not? I wonder why.”
Moonbin looked up at you. “Y/n, you can’t skip school.”
“I know…” a look of confusion came over your face and you looked at the merman. “I love school, only I seem to be only thinking of you lately. That’s strange.”
Moonbin shifted uncomfortably. “Y/n, I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
Moonbin slapped his tail against the water gently, “I didn’t want any of this to happen, I promise.”
“What happened? Moonbin, did you do something?”
“I sang,” he answered, his voice wavering. “I didn’t mean to, I promise. But you heard me and now you’re under a spell where you think you love me.”
“I do love you,” you replied. You dipped you head down to kiss him but he stopped you, a hand on your shoulder.
“No, you don’t. You don’t even know me.” The words broke his heart to say. It took everything to keep the tears from overtaking him. “You’re just a fisherman’s daughter who fell under a spell.”
“That’s ridiculous,” you smiled, “You’re funny Moonbin.”
When Moonbin said nothing, your gaze shifted uncomfortably. “You’re being serious?”
He nodded.
“Moonbin…” you wiped your eyes as tears began to fall freely. “Moonbin, I love you. This isn’t a spell.”
“Yes, it is,” he insisted. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” He took the vial off of his belt and held it out for you, “If you take this, the spell will be broken.”
You took the vial and sniffed. “I’m going to drink this and you’ll see that my love has nothing to do with your voice.”
A few tears fell from Moonbin’s eyes, “Y/n, I love you. I really do. Even before the spell. Then, getting to know you more these few days, I realized that you really are a wonderful person.”
His voice broke, “But you can’t be the wonderful person you’re meant to be if you stay on the rocks all day waiting for me.”
“I’m not!” You protested. Now you found yourself wiping away tears of frustration rather than tears of sadness. “I’m the same person I was before I met you!”
Moonbin looked down, unable to face you. “I’m sorry,” was all he could manage to say.
“You will be,” you said tearfully. “When I drink this and nothing happens. You’ll see that I really love you.”
“Y/n…” Moonbin started, but you cut him off by taking a shot of the potion.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Moonbin slid back into the water and hid behind a few lower rocks, watching as the effects of the potion took place. “Goodbye, Y/n.”
-
You set the vial down and blinked a few times. Taking in your surroundings, a sense of confusion filled your mind.
What am I doing all the way out here? Why is there a half eaten sandwich beside me?
You threw the sandwich into the ocean and stood up, checking your phone. You gasped, “I should be studying. Dad is going to kill me!”
Without a second thought, you ran away from the rocks, your long hair drifting behind you.
You hadn’t even noticed the merman a few feet away, sinking into the water until his tears could no longer be distinguished from the salty ocean.
~the end~
548 notes · View notes
ts-crossroads · 6 years
Text
Episode Eight - “Get Your Head Out of the Gutter, And Maybe Get A Brain” - Bryan
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holy mother of everything good in this world i cannot believe we just pulled that off and im still probably in the clear
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WHAT THE FUCK!!! Ok then. So Dane is telling me that Ned was just too big of a threat. But I’m so fucking pissed still. Whatever. I’m on a 4-6 minority with me Sam and Jake. However I hope Dane is willing to flip back. But I’d still need one more...dang it. I got work to do.
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My hands r so dirty rn like BITCH LOLLL. Im actually terrible. Ned could have stayed if I voted with them. Too bad he had to be fake! Sorry not Sorry! Basically that shit wouldn't have happened if Rebecka and I didn't think it needed to. And Jake and Bryan are blaming DANE AND JOHN LOL THIS IS PERFECT. I'm actually DYINGGGG LMAOOO. 
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fuck john fucking liar i fucking saved his ucking ass twice and this is how he repays me fuck out of here i can’t deal with these bitches everyone who voted out ned SUCKS AND I PUT SO MUCH TRUST INTO JOHN IM LITERALLY THE REASON WHY HE MADE IT TO MERGE AND HE CANT EVEN BE LOYAL FOR ONE FUCKING ROUND 
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6-5 i was SHAKING during the tribal. i owe rebecka and julia m'life. i talked to sam/ned/autumn/jake more than i talked to rebecka and julia so im shocked they were the ones to save me??? as a previous winner im gonna be a loyal hoe to those who kept me. and autumn at least gave me the heads up that i was probably leaving, and it sucked i couldn't let her know i had a plan to save myself. like she was telling me "talk to ned, rebecka, haley and we can do something" and i already did that minus ned. i loved ned sm. i hate that this happened. but like he and sam were willing to turn on haley and i SO fast. i don't like that... also haley told john and i that she and chris were dating and LOL that makes so much sense it did'nt shock me. i'm glad i always talked good about haley to chris and vise versa.
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I am so emotional and not ready to write this confessional. First it started with me fucking up. I thought I could trust Dane but I couldn’t. I knew Autumn wasn't with us but I didn’t think we would lose 2 impala to the other side. Then I fucked up more by telling Ned that we are safe and not to play an idol. I gave him my idol half which he then gave back to me and then told me he had a whole idol. He asked me several times if he should play it and I said no every time because I trusted everyone. I truly let Ned down and I don't know how I am going to go through this game without him. He was the 1 person I trusted with my entire game and now he's gone. I sound so dramatic but whatever, I lost my final 2. I can have all the feelings I want. I just don't know what to do now regarding who to work with. I also hate myself more bc I had tribal in another game immediately afterwards, and Ned was in this game with me. Anyway, Ned got 4 votes, I got 3. He had a super idol, which he could have played on himself after votes were read, and he made an announcement that he wasn't playing it because I deserve to be there more than him. I literally cried so much. Ned went home in 2 games back to back because of me. I fucked up the first tribal and he went home with an idol in his pocket and he gave up his game for me the second tribal. I know that this is going to be a relationship that I cherish for a long time. I truly care for him so deeply and it goes deeper than any game ever could. If I get nothing else out of this game, at least I got to form this beautiful and magical friendship with Ned. I can figure out the rest of this game tomorrow.
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Me after getting blindsided in two different Survivor orgs within five minutes of each other https://twitter.com/ricardojkay/status/945781023006105600 Owen lucky Ned gave me a pep talk on his way out cause this is some bullshit and I sure was about to cut my losses and walk #yalldontdeserveme
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 Well I went from everyone having to split the votes Ryan and I which would of led me to go home. I got everyone to switch that didn't want to put Ryan or my name down which was Julia,John,Rebecka,Ryan, and Dane. It definitely shows that they all can be trusted since Ned was the one that left last night. Bryan is still targeting me for the whole Emily vote which is bullshit that vote was forever ago and why would we tell the person that invited her to tribal it was going to be her and then have Bryan go back and tell Emily. I hope all the campaigning Bryan did to work against me just showed him who really has the numbers. I'm now going to make sure if Bryan doesn't get immunity again that he goes next. 
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Ok so I really don't know who to trust at this point. I miss Ned soooo much. A lot of people from the other side have come to me to clear the air, but I really don't see a way to recover from this. Yesterday was an actual mess. Julia was lowkey bullying Bryan in the merge chat. I say lowkey, because it wasn't personal, it was game related, but it was extreme overkill. Bryan had said "ok thats fine" and "I see what I did wrong, I learned from my mistakes" etc and she continued to say things like "now go shit talk me more, I know you will" and it was just really rude. And Haley cheering her on in the background definitely amplified the situation to make Bryan feel worse. I feel like the only people I can trust are Bryan, Autumn, and Jake. It's hard though, because I know Bryan is a threat who needs to go. Autumn rarely talks to me. And I recently got close to Jake, so I know he has been working with Bryan a lot longer and would choose him over me in a heart beat. Dane seems to think that him flipping to vote out Ned wasn't "picking sides" and now everyone can be on a more even playing field. At least that's what he told me. He also doesn't want to think of them as "sides," he wants to vote out Bryan next. If there are sides and I vote out Bryan, It's literally going to be down to 3 vs 6, with me in the minority. As much as I love and miss Ned, I don't want to be in that jury. I want to be at FTC with Ned rooting for me the whole time. I also don't know how to feel right now. I'm conflicted, because everyone is telling me shady/sketchy things about Ned and reassuring me that it is best he is gone because he was untrustworthy, but I really don't think I believe it. Like I know Ned is such an honest and genuine person, I really can't see him playing me like that. And of course everyone will try to justify voting him out to me, it was so obvious we were a f2, we had never separated the ENTIRE game. Literally day 1 we were on impala and stayed there. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm upset that Haley and Dane won reward, it seems like the worst people to have won. Hopefully it doesn't help them in immunity. I really want to win. I'm scared though that if I do, Bryan will leave. A lot of people are upset about how he acted last round when he was immune. I don't know how I feel, I really just need to see how the next day goes. ALSO Dane getting under 5 minutes in that maze seems toooooo good. Like I did it as fast as I could and couldn't even finish half of it in that time. It seems very impossible. 
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Errybody and they mama has been in my pm's explaining themselves and I'm like lmao ok but you're still cancelled. I have a heart though so I (probably) won't come for the apologizers first on the hitlist. DID SOMEBODY SAY HITLIST?!?! Yep it's about that time/ I'm back doing what I do best https://78.media.tumblr.com/b6fa3f3b282c7314c79578a6599d56b3/tumblr_n49f6q9bH11rsrbdko1_500.gif Also shoutout to everyone who believes in me. Thank you and sorry if I scared you I was like eyeball deep in my feelings after that vote (and Athena All Stars but we won't get into). I am NOT walking because there's too much justice that needs to be served
NED!!!! If Chris was my Beth, you were my Glenn cause you're so positive and hero-like aaaaannnd because I was a wreck when you died lol. Is it bad that I couldn't stop crying? http://cimg.tvgcdn.net/i/2016/12/15/b1aca255-c49f-4f8f-be1f-853d48cd3f55/maggie.gif I really hadn't seen the vote until you asked if I flipped. Then I went to watch the rest of the tribal video and started sobbing. Did I flip? Absolutely not and if I hadn't left the call, Crossroads would have my reaction to prove it. Whew if I had seen that shit live... look I'm an ugly crier and Crossroads can only exploit what I give it lmao. Anyway we spent half the game trying to make it back to each other only for you to die 5 minutes later and that suuucks rip. THANKS JULIA! YEP YOU HEARD RIGHT SIS IS NEGAN!!! Under all the humor and cute pro pics... tragic. Bryan only killing Chris and not you? Never judge a book by its cover haha. Anyway I hate this happened to you because you deserved so much better and I hope you're in a better place in jury. Imperium is in shambles- Scrappy is out here squaring up in people's pm's, Velma has gone awol, and Scooby is in the doghouse since everyone knows he has fleas. Idk what's about to happen but you're right everyone is a snake. Ok I should go I have a lot to do if I'm gonna make it to the end because #owensucks #crossroadsisugly Thank you for like playing this whack game and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself @ everyone else: https://78.media.tumblr.com/a661740fa7785ef674d1c8ef7971f4f9/tumblr_myzplpOrQ51ql5yr7o1_500.gif NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL STOP ME FROM BEING PETTY AND SENDING YOUR ASSES TO JURY SO SAVE YOUR BREATH!!! Do you need to explain yourself? Absolutely. Will it make a difference? NOPE. If you gave a fuck about me you wouldn't have lied in the first place. Also everything you say to me can and will be used against you so y'all really need to chill. I mean it- stop checking in like we're good because you will not know the answer to that until the game ends. Thinking that we're friends doesn't make it true. But you know what is true? I will send every single one of you to jury and I cannot fucking wait
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I wish Jake would send things in one or two messages and not seven or eight 
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OKAY So hours before the last tribal I wanted to vote out Jake because he's lodged up Bryan's ass. However, the only person that Ryan could get enough people to target was Ned due to the amount of people that he pissed off. So honestly between Ned or Ryan to stay? I think it's pretty obvious for me to know what's better for my game. :) After the tribal council however Bryan immediately called me and started yelling at me and demanding he knows what my strategy is moving forward in the game, but I wasn't going to give it away, so now I'm playing the role of the dumb sheep and I'm starting to make people believe that I'm not worth it to vote out at the moment. Anyways! After that call I thought I would give Bryan the benefit of the doubt and I just assumed that the tribal council would be a wake up call for his attitude, but nothing changed! He immediately ran his rat ass to Ryan and started talking shit about me so now I'm pissed at Bryan again. Now here we are again hours before the tribal council again and it's a shit show because from my point of view I think the votes are going to fall between Bryan and Julia.... maybe. Julia and Bryan had a "fight" in the main chat but I honestly believe it to be fake and I think Julia flipped back to Bryan and my paranoid ass is starting to believe that they're going to conspire against me and vote me out. BUT! I do think that my social standings with Sam would help me get past this vote. With that being said though I may have to abuse Sam's kindness to further myself into the rest of the game. I was thinking with Ryan and if we get Haley on board we can vote 3 votes onto Autumn or Sam (wildcards atm) and in the case that Bryan plays his idol (BTW I FORGOT TO SAY I FOUND AN IDOL RIGHT BEFORE TRIBAL LAST ROUND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAMA) we can play one of our idols and get out Sam or Autumn. However, if we do that then we isolate ourselves as a 3 which is why Bryan, Jake, and John were targeted in the first place for.  This tribal council is going to be just as messy as the last one and I'm terrified and I don't want to waste my idol if people are telling the truth and isolate myself, but I don't want to go home with an idol in my pocket. 
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j4Xsc4Y0tbk
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This round has just been a clusterfuck. After the Ned blindside I called John and found out that Julia was lying to my face and voted Ned which pissed me off so I exposed Julia shit talking John to me to John. After the call with John I told Bryan, Sam, and Autumn about Julia lying to us and I connected with Autumn finally. Bryan of course went and told everyone about Julia so Julia blew up on him in the main chat, gr8. Anyways I'm shook because I won the immunity and I really feel like I needed it this round for the potential of people voting me. Of course people were targetting Bryan and this twist could have changed things up, but John and Dane are too scared to make a move and there's no way we can vote Julia out this round which sucks. Idk what else to do, I tried. I just have to hope that things change soon or I'll be picked off. 
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Sam pissed me off tonight. I was considering to flip to get Julia out but then after talking to her and Bryan I realise that this bottom four is getting closer. Sam and Bryan both mentioned they trusted each other. They lie for each other. I called Sam because I wanted to talk about voting Julia out the round after Bryan leaves and then when I tell her Dane & I are not flipping she goes from this happy girl with a happy voice to this sad girl and we sit in silence. Like... she was sad I wasn't flipping... like girl... why would I flip to the four fucking people who lied to me and voted for me. I want to flip honestly but not while there's that many people!!!!!!! I like Rebecka and Julia but they don't talk to me and I know they're closer to Dane & Haley as well with each other. Dane told me he got a FULL idol... cute John told me he has half the idol which I helped him get. I have my full idol. Haley has half an idol. So at least I know where these powers are going. My dream plan was to vote Julia out next but Sam kinda pissed me off. Autumn's been very real with me and Jake's been so active and apologetic in my pms. My dream is now to vote Sam off next and have John/Dane/Me/Autumn/Jake vote Julia after that. Maybe Rebecka too after. Then vote off Jake/Autumn. I'm super super tight with Haley, Dane, Coffey. I obviously know Coffey/Dane from my past but idk, I want to play and work with Haley because she's cool and new. I think I'd give Coffey 4th place. Go f3 Haley/Dane, and if it's a F2 I'll figure it out later. But i doubt I'll ever get there!! I bet Sam will win the F9 immunity ffs i hope not.
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hey!! flopbecka here (@ashley the jingle jingle reindeer is anywhere hi!! thx for hating me im so happy to use the name u gave me <3 ) so i still dont know wtf is happening in the game, im in like a 6 person chat that i thought was just to get ned out, and now i think its like actually a real alliance chat? im confused af idk. I really want to work with autumn in this game and i just hope she still wants to after i didnt fill her in on the ned vote so woo go team 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOKbOoj7yo0&t=6s
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