#this may have gotten out of hand:’)

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Juppet of a man

#atlas.art #artists on tumblr #mcyt #hermitcraft #hermitcraft 10 #joe hills #joehills #juppet #look i. may have committed to the bit a little too hard. i will admit that this may have gotten out of hand #yes this was all for the 'juppet of a man' joke #i've been listening to the song on repeat the entire time i'm never getting it out of my head ever please enjoy this stupid reference #is he a man or a juppet who's to say

[biteofcherry]

Am I curled in bed, suffering the curse of period, daydreaming about Snowpiercer AU?

Restoring balance

Curtis Everett x female reader

Curtis Everett Masterlist

Main Masterlist

warnings: dystopian world; harsh conditions; mostly consensual (sliiightly dub-con due to apocalyptic circumstances forcing you to accept certain deals); size kink; breeding kink (obviously, since it's me);

You're one of the people who survived out in the world, not on the train and you've been living in a cottage that's now mostly rickety, but you have a cellar where you store many preserves and you have a small garden with a greenhouse where you grow plants which you then barter with other survivors;

Then one day a small group of train survivors come raiding your place and the idiots attempt to steal from you, ripping even the unripe tomatoes from the bushes, so you attack one of them with a fork and end up being dragged away to their compound, where they drop you onto your knees in front of the biggest, most dangerous looking man you've ever seen;

Curtis frowns and asks what's that all about. His men complain that you attacked them, to which you sneer that you are always open to barter your produce, but you won't let anyone steal from you, or ruin your plants.

Curtis takes the crate they've stolen and walks you back to your cottage, where he surveys the place and closely surveys you, too;

he asks what you'd like to barter that crate for and you point at your old stove and ask if he has parts that could fix it. He agrees and offers a bonus-

closes the distance between you two, trapping you against the old kitchen table

Curtis asks how long has its been since you felt pleasure and you boldly tilt your chin up and blurt out that you give yourself plenty of orgasms and are satisfied with that.

He takes your small hand in his large palm, comparing your sizes, and makes a comment how better it could feel, if your tight pussy got to stretch around something bigger than your nimble fingers

then cups your face and asks when was the last time you've been kissed

a fleeting thought about the first kind of making out with your then boyfriend enters your mind, but it instantly dissolves when Curtis claims your mouth.

You don't remember any kiss to ever feel like this, or any boy to hold you in place with such stoic confidence. It gets you weak in the knees, your breath quickening as Curtis growls into the kiss, turning it more insistent

he lifts you onto the table and tugs down your pants; fingers dipping between your thighs as his mouth descends down your neck

Curtis was right about the size of his fingers feeling so much better than yours, but it's also been so long that the pleasure rides the edge of discomfort and pain;

he's relentless, pumping into you as he forces you flat on your back and rips your shirt. He drives you to the edge, curling his fingers and circling your clit with his thumb, his mouth sucking on your pebbled nipples, teeth grazing sensitive peaks

then he's yanking his own pants open, releasing his painfully hard cock with a groan

When he thrusts into you, your scream echoes through the small cottage. Not even his fingers could've prepared you for that monster of a cock.

He fucks you roughly, mouthing on your breasts, covering them in saliva. His fingers grip all over, mapping out your body through the layers of fabric

when you come - back arched, fingers clenching on the lapels of Curtis' thick wool coat - it feels like true little death as the blinding pleasure ripples with a sting of pain in your unused pussy

Curtis stays buried inside you, groaning in delight as your walls flutter around his cock. But when your aftershocks subside, he's pulling you off the table and pushing you down to your knees

he finishes in your mouth, grabbing the back of your head and keeping you still as he empties down your throat.

He helps you up a moment later, steadying you as you lightly sway. He announces that from now on you will barter only with him.

The next day he comes with parts for the stove, which he fixes himself. You deem it worthy of the whole crate of produce, but warn Curtis that you need time for new vegetables and fruit to grow.

He comes back as agreed, bringing you a full roll of thick, warm fabric and a sewing kit. Since he ruined some of your clothes and the rest of your wardrobe needs care, too, you agree to exchange another portion of your produce, including two jars of preserves

it's also your sneaky way to assure yourself business for the period when fresh vegetables aren't available.

You give Curtis your hand to shake on your new transaction. He smirks, but takes it. Then swiftly turns you around and bends you over the sink.

This time he goes down on his knees, spreading your asscheeks and licking your pussy in reverence. He's damn skilled at making you drip, but the wetter you get, the hungrier for you he becomes

when you squeak "Enough" after the second time he makes you cum, Curtis slaps your ass and sucks on your clit so hard you break into tears;

he finishes all over your back and ass, rutting his cock between your sticky thighs first.

The next time he brings a new sheet of glass for the cracked one in your greenhouse, as well a package of fresh venison. It's been at least two years since you ate meat, so you don't argue much with Curtis when he asks for three jars of your preserves along with a basket of potatoes

it also seems fair to let him fuck your face, until you're a sobbing mess and he spills all over your face.

Each time Curtis visits, you try to compose yourself as blood rushes south to ignite fire in your core. You tell yourself that seeing him is exciting, because it means survival - ensuring you have provisions

But also each time he leaves, you spend the next weeks replaying in your head the things he's done to you as you drive yourself to orgasms.

When Curtis comes to you three months into your agreement, there's a certain smugness to his tone and his haunted, blue eyes shine a happy kind of spark

there's a reason for his satisfaction and it leaves you gasping in awe as he presents you with two living chickens. No, a chicken and a rooster.

"For this-" Curtis starts, diverting your attention back to him

"Ten jars!" You blurt instantly, ready to agree to a full crate of vegetables, as well. Because the chickens would be greatly profitable for you.

Curtis chuckles, shaking his head. He slips off his coat and lays it over the small cage in which he brought the birds in. He moves around the table, standing between you and the cage.

He takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your face up

"For this," his tone drops to a low, dark caress, "you'll let me finish in your pussy."

Your intake of breath is sharp, your pupils widen.

There are many arguments for rejecting Curtis' demand, but they chaotically bump somewhere in the back of your head, while your tongue lies speechless.

"With a chick and a rooster, you'll be able to have eggs to barter, but also eggs to hatch." He points out. "In time you'll get more eggs and more meat. Why shouldn't I demand more from you for that?"

"Because I could-" you lick your lips nervously as the images of Curtis filling you with his seed take over your conflicted mind.

"Oh, I know." Curtis confirms, his undertone betraying a strong desire for that exact outcome.

There were more unfinished counter arguments on your tongue, but somehow they are discarded as you end up in your small bedroom, pinned down to the bed by Curtis' massive form.

You always seemed exceptionally big, which you assumed was also the effect of many layers of clothing, but fully naked he still looks intimidatingly broad. It's a rarity when the remnants of human population were mostly malnourished.

He crowds you, overpowers you, but there's a newfound thrill to be under him.

Curtis takes you in deep, slow strokes, stretching this pleasure into a maddening experience that has you gushing around him.

He growls into your ear how good you feel, how well you take him and how you will take his seed.

As he speeds up, his own voice tattering as his breath quickens too, Curtis groans a mysterious to you confession that he took lives, but now he will give life.

Cumming inside you once doesn't sate him. He flips you onto your stomach and takes you prone bone, hard and primal. Keeps filling you full until the dawn, when he falls asleep with you tucked to his side.

From now on he's always taking you bare. Frequently, not only when he comes for food.

By the time your belly rounds, the forest between the compound and your cottage is cut down. New settlement buildings rise and your little place becomes a part of Curtis' growing kingdom.

You are branded his, as well.

#oops it may have gotten out of hand 🫣 #but I don't regret it! #curtis everett imagine #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x female reader #curtis everett x you #restoring balance #curtis everett smut

[ghouljams]

Part 2 of Love stabbing Ghost! Soap to the rescue.

You're at a house, it's right in the middle of a place it probably shouldn't be. Arched door and gabled roof sandwiched between two very modern and tall looking buildings. Simon knocks on it twice and waits. There's a very loud noise from inside and then a lot more loud noise before the door is yanked open. There's a man, just about Simon's height, with a Mohawk and a smile leaning against the doorframe. He looks happy to see your boyfriend.

"Ghost," he glances down at the unattended stab wound in Simon's stomach, "I see you're doing well."

"You're hilarious," Simon says, pushing past him and into the home. You don't move. Something is... stopping you. The other man smiles at you, waiting. Simon turns to look for you over his shoulder and stops. "Soap," Simon warns, but it's something else too, questioning.

Soap cocks his head at you, you've never seen a man that looks like him before. Too human. Like everything human about him has been cranked up to 11. He's not blocking you from entering the house, but he hasn't invited you in either. It would be rude to-

"She can't cross the threshold," Soap grins, his smile so wide you think you could count all his teeth. You vibrate just on the edge of something, you can feel it like a second door preventing you from crossing into his home. He nods his head at you finally, "Alright, come in. Can't have you attracting attention."

The door opens and you slide past him. Simon grabs you quickly, tipping your head this way and that to study you. He looks so concerned that you don't put up a fight. Soap ignores both of you, walking past to rummage around in his kitchen. You look around as Simon looks at you. It's a cute place, comfortable, you'd almost call it cozy. 

"How many tethers you got in her?" Soap calls, setting a white medical kit on the coffee table.

"Enough," Simon tells him, finally releasing your face. You wish he'd at least kiss you if he was going to hold onto you for so long. You must pout because he leans down to do just that, soft and sweet as he presses his lips to yours.

"Yer aff yer heid," Soap pats the couch and Simon releases you again. He strips his shirt off and sits where Soap directed with a grunt. Soap pokes at the skin around the wound and you lean over the back of the couch to want. “How’d you do this, lass?”

“Knife.” You tell him plainly. Soap snorts, Simon sighs, shooting you a warning look. “He asked me to, said ‘I want you to stab me’. So I stabbed him.” Soap gives Simon a look of concern.

“Mate your kinks are really gettin’ out of hand.”

“Didn’t think she’d do it.” Simon replies gruffly, you see him wince when Soap presses too hard too close to the edge of the wound, “Was trying to teach her about us.”

“You barely know about us.” Soap hums, grabbing a needle and thread from the med kit. You settle a hand on Simon’s shoulder as Soap starts stitching him up, squeezing to try and take some of his attention from the pain. You’re starting to get phantom pains just watching him, you can’t imagine how Simon’s so stoic about it.

“What’s your name lass?” Soap asks, and you frown.

“How’s that any of your business?” You reply, trying to memorize the way he twists sutures and snips the thread. Next time you stab Simon you should at least know how to stitch him up. Simon gives a small purr, aborted immediately when Soap pulls the last stitch tight.

“Christ you are a fucking mess, you know that?” Soap’s not talking to you, he’s talking to Simon. Looking him over, plucking at invisible threads with a frown. “How’d you-” He pulls on something and you smack his hand without thinking. Soap looks at you like you’ve grown a second head. He stands from the couch and stares the two of you down. “Simon Riley,” He says with purpose.

Simon doesn’t move, just raises a brow. Soap makes a ‘come on’ gesture and groans.

“You are fuckin’ jokin’.” He presses his hands to his face before dropping them and pointing at Simon. You’re starting to like this guy. Or maybe that’s Simon’s pleased hum through the tethers. “You-” He groans again, “I can’t believe you. Best mates for years and you don’t even- Price is going to kill you.”

“What’s happening?” You whisper ask Simon. Soap turns his annoyance on you.

“What’s happening, is you own this bastard and he didn’t even send out a wedding invite.”

“I didn’t think she’d give me her name,” Simon starts. Soap holds up a hand to cut him off.

“You are on probation, I’m not listening to you anymore, don’t talk to me.” You bite down a smile, you definitely like this guy.

#Fae!Ghost #Fae!Soap #oc: Love #Fae au #In which Love has gotten so many tethers and magic in her that she has to obey fae rules #and Soap calls Ghost out on taking her last name without telling anyone #do we all remember that nice little fluff piece I wrote where Love gives him her last name? #they may not have said any vows but Magic doesn't care that's marriage baby #Soap's pissed but he'll set up a proper wedding party for them out of spite #x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #Love smacking Soap's hand away from her marriage tether that's mine don't touch it #did she mean to get married? no. Is she thrilled to own Ghost's ass? ABSOLUTELY

[mack-anthology-mp3]

ok here's my melodramatic uquiz have fun

#this may have gotten out of hand hehe #outing myself as sentimental & full of yearning #uquiz #my slightly bonkers craft projects #this was fun to make though i might make more hehe #mutuals don't let this flop pls

[slythereen]

Oh my! I really really need to see the rest of your tag commentary for the Essay!!!!!!!!!

breaking: tumblr (rightfully) tries to silence area maniac’s deranged rambling but the people* won’t stand for it!!! (*one pitying anon)

right so regarding tsarinablogs' glorious essay on rbr, ferrari, and the lestappen marketing phenomenon… the only substantial point i had to add is about ferrari. because nat is totally right, it doesn't make sense for ferrari to be actively engaging in promoting the lestappen friendship if the payoff is charles moving to rbr. not unless their only aim is basically damage control and making the inevitable breakup look amicable.

but if you look at the austin lestappen interactions — and the rbr-ferrari interactions in general this season — ferrari isn't really an active collaborator in the agenda. time to get crazy:

the great rbr-ferrari sticker war

yes, we're coming back to my favorite topic briefly (my beloved rbr-ferrari sticker war agenda). this is the most actively involved rbr-ferrari interaction, though. and it was initiated (accidentally, in fairness) by christian horner.

belgian grand prix (nicely compiled video)

we start with christian covering the ferrari emblem on a fan's hat. this is one of those from-a-distance videos, i don't believe it was initially shared by rbr. not entirely an intentional engagement.

ferrari does start the actual engagement on social media by posting the first "sticker war" video and tagging rbr. they also directly reference rbr's yeti stickers tradition (which, as far as i can tell, is new this season with their yeti sponsor and i think belgium was the first gp they mentioned it) (which is curious in and of itself).

rbr retaliates. war is on. eventually, f1 gets involved with a cute recap... and that's when they go from just responding to one another in comments to actually tagging each other.

what else did we have going on in belgium?

a lestappen podium

rbr debuting (i believe) the yeti cooler on socials

carlos infamously having war declared on him by the entirety of f1twt for bully oscar

so, you could say ferrari actively instigated the sticker war. this has no real lestappen involvement and appears to be entirely the admins having fun with one another. it's also very conveniently timed as a distraction for ferrari and an opportune advertising moment for rbr and yeti.

dutch grand prix (max's home race)

a pause in the sticker war for the dutch grand prix. what we do get is rbr posting lestappen on main (the mclaren camcorder saga) and rbr posting some content about their yeti (and the new yeti sticker tradition). (just as a side note: travel stickers to add to yetis is a bit of a niche Thing; very on brand for the sponsorship deal.)

(similarly, a pause in monza — all ferrari, all the time, for monza. we get the lestappen quali podium and charles asking the crowd not to boo max.)

singapore grand prix (ferrari sacrificial altar)

again, we see ferrari instigating the interaction — now with tagging rbr on the posts. interestingly, rbr tags yeti in response and ferrari's comment on rbr's retaliation brings it back to the yeti sticker tradition. with this "attack" actually targeting the yeti cooler, it's making it all look very... yeti-focused.

but singapore is also when rbr doubles down on the lestappen content — and gets more loud about it. the infamous "lecstappen alert" post. we also got some photos of them chatting in the paddock (which, i believe, were not posted by either rbr or ferrari but were out there adding to the Vibes this weekend).

meanwhile, ferrari is dealing with peak ferrari civil war mode this weekend after blatantly sacrificing charles to defend carlos' victory and then not acknowledging it in the slightest in favor of propping up the "cool carlando operation."

japanese grand prix (f1 takes the score)

rbr initiates the on-going war this time around and makes sure to advertising their new suzuka hats while they're at it. ferrari retaliates. and once again, we see f1 doing a recap/summary of the on-going fight. no lestappen in sight once more...

... but rbr also posts lestappen crumbs, in the form of max talking about his suzuka race start from 2022. which means smiling at a video of one of his battles with charles.

after the race, ferrari is back in civil war mode after carlos complains about being "sacrificed" in suzuka and ferrari gets heat for their interesting quali strategy that put them in this situation in the first place. no post-race hi-jinx this time around.

qatar grand prix ("everybody is a ferrari fan")

rbr initiates the conversation again. this time, ferrari's only response is to like the photo. but this was after the sprint race and after max had already been crowned for the third time; not exactly a time when ferrari wants to be adding to the max agenda.

plus, by this time we had already seen the videos and photos of charles congratulating max immediately, before everyone else. this moment wasn't posted by rbr or ferrari, naturally, but it is out there and being spread around by the end of the time rbr starts posting the ferrari photo.

we also saw charles offering max glowing praise and talking about how much max and rbr deserves it, because they still had to fight even while having a dominant car. on one hand, this is a lot of respect for his childhood rival. on another, it's adding to the idea that hey, even with a super dominant car, the driver's talent matters (so if you catch me in a super dominant car in the near future, keep that in mind, media).

carlos had the dns for the qatar race, there were the obvious health concerns going on that definitely took up everyone's attention. no need for ferrari to do any distracting pr and therefore no reason to engage in the lestappen/rbr narrative for the weekend, despite rbr tagging them.

which brings us to...

austin grand prix and the lestappen resurgence

so far we've seen a fairly consistent rbr-ferrari conversation going on around the stickers and yeti sponsorship. but it definitely has tapered off and has shifted towards rbr being the one to engage and keep the conversation moving on social media. plus, we've been getting more and more of charles and max interacting in the background of all this, casually being friends (and being subtly pointed out by rbr).

and if you look at the austin interactions, ferrari isn't as much of a collaborator in the agenda. rbr is the clear instigator and driving force behind all of the lestappen media interactions — and they more or less force ferrari's hand.

obviously, the great lestappen padel date (cough, competition) sets the tone for the weekend. charles and max hanging out, outside of f1, publicly, is certainly a choice. i think they've always been closer than they let on (at least since covid-era), but the "rivals" narrative had them limiting their public interactions... so why now?

and then, of course, austin goes on a mission to overload us with lestappen. and rbr gets on board with that, quickly. starting with the press conference and lestappen gossip session... which, sure, is controlled by the f1. but max sitting next to charles and as far from daniel on the couch as he is? a choice imo.

next up we have our glorious quali session, and rbr starts in on the lestappen on main agenda. they heard us begging for the congratulations photo and they delivered (twice — with christian posting it personally, too).

with max not even being in the quali presser, you could just call this good opportunism. photos showing max being gracious and friendly with charles despite being upset about his lap being deleted is great pr and a great excuse to post about max and make it about max, to a degree.

we get lestappen being lestappen on saturday morning. so far, so good... a great parallel to the shots of max congratulating charles, this time with max taking the p1 (to rbr's delight).

following the sprint (and max's slight terrorism against charles)?

rbr posts lestappen again (three times), this time calling them out by name twice, and emphasizes that this is the second day in a row that they are giving us lestappen content. they tag charles again, but not ferrari this time. this is what i mean by forcing ferrari's hand — rbr has been posting their driver a lot.

and ferrari did essentially the bare minimum to keep up the fun rivalry vibes (responding to the post with the “back at ya” which in and of itself frames it as them just reacting to rbr). rbr is the one who doubled down by responding to that (the “we’re giving you what you want” reply). so while it looks like cute and very sus coordination, i would say rbr is definitely driving it. and rbr is driving it a lot.

(one strange exception: ferrari posting the charles answering questions video and posting him talking about padel with max. idk. you would think that they would cut it, or charles would have had to ask to include it if this is his agenda, or... something. that detail is just an odd one to me and may suggest greater ferrari support of the agenda.)

ferrari’s non interaction could say two things, i think. either:

they want to make it look like rbr is trying too hard and they are just humoring it (in line with ferrari’s stuffy reputation)… or,

it’s not their narrative and they’re doing what they must to not look too stuffy by not engaging at all (esp. after they joined in with the carlando propaganda previously).

i am inclined to think it's the second option, just based on rbr's behavior and the oddity of the sudden increase in content amidst ferrari's civil war and rbr's own internal second seat drama.

the sticking point for me is trying to figure out what ferrari’s agenda actually is with their recent social media approach, then. it seems far-fetched that they are just bad at social media and keep missing the mark. but seeing the vision… idk man.

if they’re being deliberate in trying to enrage fans it feels like it has to be leading to a driver swap. setting up a narrative of "something clearly isn't working, ferrari is doing awful, we need change" and then magically "fixing" it all with a driver line-up change. in my mind, this only works if they are trying to oust carlos — it would explain the stupid strategies and blatant favoritism, as well as serves as a convenient (and true) scapegoat for the shitty car we have this season. charles talking to espn this weekend about the 2024 car direction and how it is leaning in his direction? curious timing, that.

the alternative, of course, is that charles has already signed with rbr or ferrari suspects that he will. then isolating charles to the point to trying to remove their brand from him and be able to stand alone once he leaves makes some sense... however, not a lot.

the issue with taking a deliberate strategy like this is that it is very risky. they risk pissing the fans off too much. they also risk jeopardizing their results, especially if they are letting bad strategy calls go on purpose to drive the malcontent. you'd have to believe ferrari is willing to give up points and risk their reputation (at least temporarily) to commit to the bit.

which... it seems like charles, at least, is looking towards 2024. this year and this car are a wash. max and rbr already have the championships. maybe it's not such a bad time for ferrari to risk it and throw away some races to feed their agenda. but still, they look incompetent as shit. it's a bad look. and this type of strategy only works if they anticipate a radical turn around next season (and can say "look, all that junk last year was just growing pains and transition, fred came in and this is his first year with just him and his direction, and it's all good now").

their recent behavior is just... shitty. and you would think a brand like ferrari would be better than that. you have to believe there's probably an agenda in there somewhere, because it's hard to believe that they are just that bad at media. and there's not a whole lot that really ties into them playing along with rbr.

so, basically... i'm not sure if they really are playing along with rbr at this point. i think rbr has the narrative in hand when it comes to lestappen, though towards what aim... idk. maybe it's all just leading up to some ea sports shit. maybe rbr just wants to capitalize on charles' likability and boost max's reputation. maybe this is more about charles having more free reign with his image and brand lately, and charles deciding to be more open with his friendship with max (and, of course, more open about the idea that other teams want him). maybe ferrari is just along for the ride and doing damage control.

whatever is going on, it's something. there has just been way too much weirdness with charles' behavior and attitudes, rbr's actions, charles not having a renewal announcement yet, rbr's own seat issues, ferrari's very weird media angles, charles making big moves with his personal brand...

rbr lestappen may have felt like a pipe dream at the start of the season, but idk. let's not forget that max once walked back his statement about not being on a team with charles because you can't have two number ones. i believe his new answer was something to the effect that sure, he and charles could drive for the same team. and, of course, charles' response was always "why not?".

in sum: shit's happening. i'm hoping it's lestappen-in-red-bulls shit.

#i may have turned this into an excuse to compile my rbr-ferrari sticker war content #and i may have hit the images limit in this post #it may have gotten a bit out of hand #anyway heres my deranged thoughts about the great rbr ferrari media essay #lestappen #rbr charles #scuderia ferrari #red bull racing #charles leclerc #max verstappen #*delphi #paddock politics #im going to need to adjust my tags on that reblog so i can at least get a politics tag or rbr charles tag in there akflakfna #rip to me and my tag limits #ferrari civil war 2023 #rbr-ferrari sticker war #apparently viewing this in dashboard means the photos lose their side-by-side formatting.............rude. #extremely rude

[goldkirk]

I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.

Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.

It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.

still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby

#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards #among other things #but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY #I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR #OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE #THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT #why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time??? #just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN #you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough #by attempting to go another route #you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully #and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do #and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY #you fucking DID YOUR BEST #YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER #YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME #it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc #YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME #MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK #if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out #had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier #they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions #instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such #you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive. #isn't that enough? #isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough?????? #god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets #and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go #will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone

[kaustic]

look man all im saying is that if i was approached by a hot, dark haired sapiosexual who told me he'd give me everything i need in order to create masterpieces that push the limits of reality AND would love and cherish me, i too would abandon god. so i think we should cut sauron a bit of slack

#I CAN RELATE TO HIM OKAY #IT MAY HAVE GOTTEN A BIT OUT OF HAND BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME #silmarillion #tolkien #sauron #mairon #melkor #angbang

[chiropteracupola]

hi :) I saw in your tags you might draw boromir……..And uh. I’m just here to say I would absolutely looooooove to see your boromir 📯

well hooray! stay tuned, then - perhaps that'll be a reality sometime in the vague future!

#answers from the cupola #the last time I drew him must have been at least eight years ago if not more... #and even though I will be reunited with my old sketchbooks soon I certainly shan't be posting that! #...altho' a few redraws of my nicer stuff from way back when may be in order #I recall a fairly good android aragorn from the same sketchbook that could probably do with another attempt #as well as some scraps of that project where I set out to hand-draw a full set of playing cards on a lotr theme #I don't remember the full set I had planned but having been right between my 'scrungy fantasy men' and 'scary anglerfish women' phases #I recall there having been a shelob gijinka drawing which I was pretty darn pleased with at the time in addition to the various lads #...this has gotten significantly off track. hope you enjoyed hearing about the state of my art during my initial lotr-enjoyer phase? :]

[emile-hides]

Tired of the cute facade, gonna start drawing myself uglier

#Emile's Arts #I say drawing a down right adorable little guy #But the buck teeth and the pimples.... it's giving cringe anime teen in a Western cartoon #Which is. What I am. #I'm FINALLY done being sick btw it's been an ACTUAL MONTH #I HAVE A COMMISSION TO DO AND THEN IT'S BACK TO ART FOR FUNSIES #FINALLY #I cannot overstate how busy I've been this is the most busy I've been in actual literal years #And oooooooooh did it drain me sense I went in with a cold #And then CAME OUT WITH A COLD #BUT I'M FUNCTIONAL ENOUGH TO HOLD A PEN AGAIN #but only for like.. a month..... because I may be getting surgery next month... or March... or December.... #Who knows my doctor STILL hasn't gotten back to me on a date #Anyway #As much as I love the vampire fangs it's time to face the truth #As sharp as my teeth are they are horribly overshadowed by my Horse Teeth #And I must face this fact and move on with it #I've also gotten a recent appreciation for the cute factor of dot eyes in big glasses #I'm bad at quick handing Big Glasses but hey #We'll figure it out #This is just a concept of the Sona redesign anyway who knows if I'll stick to it #We'll figure it out when my birthday rolls around and it's time to change the Icons again

[shallowseeker]

oh god i have big thoughts on when sam is shown to enter the motif of kitchen as an active participant

it’s after eileen spends time in the bunker oh nooo

this is one of the first times we see sam coming deeply into and thriving in the kitchen

oh no oh god oh no

even after his kitchen disaster in the gamblers and hero’s journey, he is on the phone to eileen a lot, and in the finale eileen is returned, and sam is again shown thriving in kitchen

in a stark contrast to prev years, he is shown giving aid and caretaking to dean for once even if ultimately, as is hinted in The Winchesters, his methods of aid were flawed

oh god sam had his first actual kitchen table with dean jr

sam emerged in the kitchen late but it was-

#sam’s kitchen was eileen in the end wasn’t it #his kitchen table was dean jr #but ​after cas and jack died we never saw deans kitchen table again #the kitchen problem may have gotten out of hand here folks #the bunker kitchen #dean + kitchen #the kitchen is where the love is stored #dean/cas + the kitchen #important familial conversations happen in the kitchen #kitchen as parental domain #jack & dean + the kitchen #dean + caretaking #dean + hearth of the home

[raisethe-velvet]

DRAW MIKER (mika) IN ONE OF THOSE MIKER OUTFITS YOU LIKE A LOT!!!!

here he is! the miker!

#lumi art tag #art requests #mika kagehira #enstars #i said i was just doing sketch requests but this one may have gotten out of hand

[carolinanadeau]

In Praise of Sally Ann Howes

As I've made it one of the purposes of my blog to share photos and songs and general positivity about the wonderful English actress Sally Ann Howes, I thought I'd make a post to talk in much more detail about all the great things about her and why I adore her so much!

This classy English beauty possessed a highly expressive face and eyes, an astonishingly powerful soprano, a great sense of humor, and the world's most charming laugh. One thing I cannot stop saying about Sally Ann is that she did not and does not get nearly enough credit and recognition for her immense talent and prolific career, and it's precisely for that reason that I'm here to do my part in giving it to her!

This overlong rambling post is a combination of biographical information and my personal fawning over her performances... whatever I felt I most wanted to put out there in the world and what I'd like people less familiar with her to know.

Click on Keep Reading and I'll take you on a journey!

As she preferred to work on the stage and didn't really pursue a film career, the catalog of Sally Ann's work that can still be viewed today is unfortunately small - though you can find almost all of her early films on the internet if you look hard! In her early film days, mostly made before she was able to pursue her true passion of musical theatre, her extraordinary singing talents weren't utilized by the producers at all.

However, we were fortunately blessed with exactly one musical film role from her, and it's an iconic one: the aptly-named role of Truly Scrumptious in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968), the golden-haired, golden-hearted candy heiress who falls in love with and eventually marries Dick van Dyke's character Caractacus Potts after joining him and his children on a madcap adventure. She's a sweet, intelligent ingenue with hidden depths and one of my favorite sorts of character arcs - the uptight, lonely woman who becomes more and more warm and open as she discovers newfound freedom and joy in life and falls in love.

There is something about Sally Ann that just glows in every scene of Chitty, and it's not only that bright blonde hair! The way she widens her eyes sometimes, the way she raises her eyebrows, her gentle and soft presence in the happiest scenes, and the particular airy lilt she has to her speaking voice are all so distinctive and appealing, and I can't take my eyes off her. And her smile! When I say she glows it's barely even a metaphor, the woman just emits light. 

(Funnily enough, I started to realize that many of the laudatory quotes I've found about her also refer to her in this way, like this quote from a 1965 TV Guide article, from playwright Sidney Kingsley: "She's luminous as an actress. I mean that literally. In Brigadoon she really lit up the stage.")

For me, I'm weak for any actress who can do the defrosted-ice-queen trope so incredibly well. Truly starts out as closed-off and prim, and nearly reverts to that state when she and Caractacus have a Big Misunderstanding near the end, but in the scenes where she's happy and carefree, the warmth just radiates off of her.

She also has the most adorable chemistry with Dick van Dyke in an annoyances-to-friends-to-lovers relationship that absolutely shaped my young brain. Whenever Sally Ann and Dick glance at each other, whether with irritation and frustration early in the film or with warmth and affection later on, their chemistry is obvious and natural, and there's so much expressed in each one of those glances. One has no difficulty believing that these characters are going to be very happily married.

(Here's a cute on-set interview where she talks about, among other things, how easily she and van Dyke clicked.)

While I acknowledge that the character of Caractacus Potts was absolutely originally planned to be an actual Englishman, Dick van Dyke played him with an American accent, and to me they will always be an adorable English-American couple. It's a whole part of the charm of this pairing to me!

Sally Ann also had a great relationship with child actors Adrian Hall and Heather Ripley who played Jeremy and Jemima Potts, and did her best to help make them more comfortable and happy during the many very long days on set. Having been a child film star herself, she knew a great deal about how difficult and alienating it could be. The genuine affection the three of them shared is obvious in their scenes together, especially in the extremely adorable "Truly Scrumptious" number, and it really makes the developing mother-child relationship between the characters so believable.

The beach scene, where so much of the relationship between Truly and Caractacus and the Potts children is developed, is incredibly cute and heartwarming, and a lot of that rides on Sally Ann's performance and how her previously prim-and-proper character shows herself to be warm and loving, once she (literally) lets her hair down. We've already seen how happy the Potts family is together; now we see how Truly fits in perfectly and makes them all even happier.

Look at her! Literally glowing!

(One thing I should mention: I think both the plot and the love story of CCBB are greatly improved if one just treats the "dream sequence" as real events, which was possibly the original intention anyway, so just note that is always the perspective I'm coming from here. It's the only way to make some things make sense and for the characters and their relationships to fully develop.)

"Lovely, Lonely Man" is Truly's big solo moment, and was probably the least comprehensible part of the movie to me as a kid (lol), but is now indisputably one of the very best parts to me as an adult. It's an exquisitely beautiful love song, especially the bridge, and I somehow love it more and more every time I rewatch it. Sally Ann's dreamy, graceful movements and the way the whole scene is shot make her look like a princess, and the slow build of the song is masterfully done. She has this distinctive crisp way of articulating her words while singing, especially the closing consonants like N and M, that I just love to listen to. The string section and the building countermelodies are so beautiful it makes me want to weep. Everyone involved in creating this scene and song deserved an award, I'm being so serious. While it's not the highest of soprano songs and doesn't fully show off Sally Ann's astonishing range, she shows an incredible amount of vocal control here through the many diminuendos and crescendos, and she's mesmerizing to watch and listen to. One of her "glowiest" scenes, for sure!

While I've seen people call this song irrelevant to the plot, I strongly disagree - the romance is part of the plot, of course, and while I didn't fully understand the meaning as a kid, this song establishes how much Truly's outlook on life and hopes for the future have already changed since meeting Caractacus, and how much happier she is with the poor Potts family than she's ever been in her life of luxury. Plus, now we know for certain that she's head over heels for Caractacus, but he doesn't know... increasing the dramatic irony of the pining and yearning to follow!

In the reprise of "Hushabye Mountain", which was sung in a much earlier scene by Dick van Dyke alone, Caractacus loses the will to continue the song because he's overwhelmed with emotion thinking of his children being held captive. Truly comes in to aid him with the final verse - another pivotal moment in the developing romance - and Sally Ann's singing here is nothing short of breathtaking.

And of course, I can't neglect to mention the "Doll on a Music Box" number, where Sally Ann, who was not a trained dancer and in fact considered herself to be "appalling" at it, performs an incredibly precise, incredibly impressive clockwork song-and-dance number while on a spinning turntable! She practiced it so well that she managed to successfully complete the shot in a single take, prompting the stage full of extras to burst into applause.

This is another important character moment for Truly, though it's disguised in a diegetic performance: though it's another thing that went over my head as a child who only got to see the movie once, the lyrics about being trapped up on a music box and longing to be freed by love pretty clearly symbolize how trapped the real Truly's high-society life makes her feel, and how she yearns to break free from class restrictions and live happily-ever-after with Caractacus, as it's only with him and his family that she really feels free.

Then there's that incredibly warm romantic look that Truly and Caractacus share at the end of the song when she silently acknowledges the love confession he's just made while singing in counterpoint with her, though they're still in a dangerous situation and can't give themselves away by appearing too human and breaking their disguises... sadly this vital moment is cut off on all the Youtube videos of the scene I can find, because none of the people who clipped it understand that that's the whole point of it all, apparently. But here's a gif!

The character of Truly doesn't exist at all in the original (quite different) book by James Bond author Ian Fleming - surprising, I know, given her name! - and, honestly, the fact that Truly and the romantic subplot of this movie exist are why it had such a strong impact on me as a child, and very much why I fell in love with it again as an adult. Even though the score is wonderful anyway and the story is charming and magical, I can confidently say that I would not have become as completely enchanted or had such a strong desire to revisit it again and again if there'd been no Truly and no love story. The fact that Sally Ann's performance makes Truly so loveable is, obviously, a pretty crucial factor there.

Sally Ann's delivery of "Well, Mr. Potts... now you'll have to marry me!" after Caractacus kisses Truly... that slide from prim mock-outrage to the playful, warm, you-can-hear-the-smile-in her-voice conclusion is flawless. Not even exaggerating when I say that this was the moment that made me into a hopeless romantic as a 9-year-old child. Sure, this wasn't the first movie I'd seen where two people fall in love and live happily ever after, but I distinctly remember that this was the first romance story that had me in a giggling, kicking-my-feet, "I ship it so hard" state of mind. And after revisiting it as an adult for the first time last year, I have confirmed that yes, child me already had great taste in fictional romances!

Oh, I could say so much about the difference in her body language between the two scenes where Caractacus carries Truly out of her car that's become stuck in a pond. The first time, Truly is affronted and extremely embarrassed by the situation, holding herself so stiffly and awkwardly to avoid an accidental embrace that she causes him to nearly lose his balance and drop her. The second time, when they're in love and they know it, she snuggles right up into his arms without hesitation and it's the cutest thing ever. Sally Ann was 5'6" but looks so tiny in that scene!

(And that kiss! Maybe I'm getting off-topic here in terms of strictly focusing on Sally Ann's contributions, because Dick van Dyke deserves tons of credit for making this kiss so good... but wow, the kiss. Several times I have called it "the Most Kiss they could have gotten away with in a children's movie." Again, giggling, kicking my feet etc.)

While Truly's costumes and hairstyling are rarely historically accurate (the film is set around 1910), the stylized nature of her fashion is iconic and memorable in itself. Sally Ann also completely pulls off playing a fresh-faced ingenue who is 12+ years younger than her actual age - and I do wonder if the aging-down of Sally Ann is at least part of the reason why Truly wears her hair loose throughout most of the movie! Either way, it works perfectly and I was shocked when I first learned how much older she was than her character. (If you watch her in The Admirable Crichton, where she is also in Edwardian costume and was closer to Truly's actual age, she really doesn't look all that much different. If anything, I think she looks even more glowingly beautiful in Chitty!)

Also, as for Truly wearing her hair down... it may just have been an intentionally anachronistic stylistic choice, but in-story, I think it actually contributes to her character by showing a willingness to flout convention and pursue whatever will make her happy instead of what's expected of her, which happens to be a key theme of her character arc.

Another thing that led me to adore Sally Ann as a person as I learned more about her over the last year: in the 1960s, she appeared as a panelist in quite a few episodes of the game show To Tell the Truth (as well as a few episodes of Password), and these can be found on Youtube. I really adore how her personality shines through - she's unfailingly bubbly, witty, self-deprecating, and a bit quirky. Just listening to her speak is a delight and she has one of the best laughs I've ever heard. Here is one of my favorite little moments that I clipped. 

By all accounts, she was a delightful person to know and work with, witty and clever, very professional, and very serious about her craft. She also always maintained a great affection for and pride in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and her role as Truly, which is always a wonderful thing to know about an actor in a beloved role.

Another bonus: here is a super charming interview with her after a backstage disaster at What Makes Sammy Run? on Broadway.

She was also, along with Twiggy and Diahann Carroll (as Julia Baker), one of the first three celebrities to have her likeness made into a Barbie doll.

Two of her earlier films I recommend are the comedies Fools Rush In (1949) and The Admirable Crichton (1957), if you can find them (hint-hint, you can.) You may also be able to find the 1966 TV movie of her reprising her Tony-nominated role of Fiona in Brigadoon with Robert Goulet, and although I feel like the oddly close-up way the film was shot kinda does a disservice to the actors at times, it's still amazing to be able to see and hear her in a role she performed on Broadway.

Richard Rodgers once called Sally Ann "the greatest singer who ever sang on the American musical stage." Now, I don't quote this to claim this superlative as some kind of objective fact. If you know anything about me, I am very, very strongly opposed to pitting women against each other and all the Golden Age sopranos are absolute queens who deserve crowns, no matter how much mainstream success or present-day name-recognition they have/had. I just think it's phenomenal that she received such high praise from a man who worked with many of the best musical theatre singers who ever lived... and to think, many people today have never even heard her voice. Without her performance as Truly Scrumptious, it's possible almost nobody would in the future! I am so glad that Sally Ann's lasting legacy was ensured by such a beloved film role.

Sadly for us, many of the theatrical roles which she originated (and thus, for which cast albums featuring her exist) were in shows that either flopped quickly or at least did not enter the theatrical canon, so she never achieved the level of mainstream recognition she clearly deserves. But Sally Ann also played such legendary and challenging roles as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, Fiona MacLaren in Brigadoon (for which she received a Tony nomination), Maria Rainer von Trapp in The Sound of Music, Anna Leonowens in The King and I, and, much later, Desiree Armfeldt in A Little Night Music. She received great acclaim for all of these performances and, judging by what we know of her process on My Fair Lady, was excellent at making roles distinctly her own and never merely imitating another performer.

Even in her iconic original role of Truly Scrumptious, you don't get to hear the true full power of Sally Ann's extraordinary soprano. For that, I highly recommend listening to "Another Time, Another Place" from Kwamina (1961), and "Something to Live For" from What Makes Sammy Run? (1964). I'm always sad that we don't have any recordings of her in her "fiery" star turn as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, but you can at least hear her do a Cockney accent, be silly, and sing "With a Little Bit of Luck" with Bing Crosby here!

If it weren't for the enduring success of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, few people might have even heard of Sally Ann Howes today, and that would be a terrible loss. I cannot overstate that I am so grateful that we all know who she is because she played this role and we get to see her give this radiant performance of a character that's all her own. Maybe this sounds strange, but I think the fact that this was Sally Ann's only musical film role (and the ONLY role most people will ever see her in) makes it even more precious, and makes everything she brings to the character that much more distinctive and unique and special.

Both for all of the talent and charm she brings to the role itself, and everything else that I and many other fans have been able to learn of so much of her otherwise-obscure work because of it, the world is incredibly lucky to have the lovely Sally Ann Howes immortalized as our Truly Scrumptious, and I wouldn't have it any other way 💖

#*mic drop* #sally ann howes #chitty chitty bang bang #and that's why you should vote for... wait there's no poll involved? I may have gotten carried away ;) #ok so I doubt anyone will even pay attention to this post but if you are going to tag or comment on this BE KIND AND POSITIVE ABOUT HER #like this is obviously a labor of love on my part here... don't be weird or backhanded. I don't need to hear how you disagree or whatever #and no pitting women against each other on my posts I am so serious #this is a fan post! this is a stan post! this is a celebration! do not derail! #I feel like I need to sprinkle holy water on this post before I release it out into the world #oh Sally Ann we're really in it now #also parts of this are poorly written I know. it's literally just an infodump about my Special Interest English Lady what do you expect lol #the switches between formal tone and informal fangirling are intentional btw #this is what I'm using my degree for apparently #I know I mixed in a lot of character/story analysis here and maybe that's slightly off-topic from lauding her performance but hey #it's not like I'm getting graded on this. and I mean you can see these things in her character BECAUSE of her performance #take my hand. love her with me. life could be a dream #you know the lyric in Hamilton - 'I wrote my way out'? that's what this was for me. I wrote my way out of a mental health crisis with this #when I came up with this idea I was going to save it for her birthday but that is sooo far away. so I'll post now and reblog it then! #I'm shocked tumblr can even handle whatever I'm trying to do here #I wouldn't have put SO many photos except that I needed to use multiples so I could make them smaller!! #my original post #long post

[hel-phoenyx]

"I want to learn politics."

The face of her mother is blank. Her father, right next to her, throws her an encouraging look, while her second mother looks at the Queen of the Divine Mandate, axiety filling her eyes.

She knows what she asked is huge. A mountain to climb for her and for Lina, a lifetime of hate and paranoïa to unlearn. But it is necessary.

You don't prepare for a kingdom's succession while sitting idly studying what little was salvaged from the Ragnarök. You don't assure prosperity tranfering the power to a brother who didn't even wanted to reign, and is now locked away in his own heart and grief.

Her mother knows what she's asking.

This is not about learning how to rule a kingdom.

Not only.

"You want to study how to be a queen."

"Yes. Please listen to me before shutting me up, mom, she interjects as Lina was about to speak. The royal library is almost entirely destroyed, and your reign is already exceptional enough. Korrin doesn't want the throne and frankly, he isn't made for this. We reached peace, but now we have to maintain it and there is too little info on how to counter so many types of crisis the new government exposes us to. I know how to find the intel. And I know where."

"Ink Republic."

That wasn't a question.

She could recognize that sour face on her mother's traits anywhere. That was the one she has seen in a mirror everyday since she was born. She knows from who she was born, and how to convince her.

She also knows this is not enough.

"I am not sending you to... Him."

"Lina honey, objected her father. This is not about an old fight. Redemane I would understand, kind of, but nobody in the kingdom knows where your hate towards Faloi stems from. And he is the best teacher she could hope for."

"Hate..."

Lina's face twisted.

"This is not about hate. You don't know anything about that man."

"Then talk to me."

He walked towards her. Hands open. Only worry on his ever-juvenile face.

"Talk to me, Lina. Please."

That was enough to shut her up. Because, as a lot of people learnt the hard way, Lina the Ist Frosilaen never would talk about what she saw.

She sighed.

"Would he even teach her ? From what I know, we didn't assess how deep Adam ran his teachings into him. And Adam hated us."

"I am as for a month penpals with him, interjected the princess. He expressed nothing but joy at the idea. Of course, I still consider the possibility it would be a trap to bring to him the head of the heiress, but I think I can be well-prepared enough for such kinds of traps."

A little smile grew on her lips.

"I am, after all, Lina Frosilaen's proud daughter. If I can survive the H.A.R.D.I, I can survive a grouchy cousin, dont'cha think?"

Her mother gaver her back her smile.

"Touché. And I would be stupid to underestimate you. Alright, if you are hellbent on going, then go. But I want monthly reports and letters, and if I get only the hint he raised his hand on you, you come back here immediatly and I break every diplomatic treaties he's currently trying to make me sign."

"I think that's fair enough of a condition, laughed Baku. No one would risk the wrath of the one who lead the four nations to victory against a Worm."

"Does that mean you're leaving soon ? Interjected Shera. Baku, we should bake some goods for her to bring to Ink Republic ! Oh, and say hi to my cat, if he's still alive, she laughed. And to Faloi, too! And, and-"

She was cut in the middle of her sentence by a stern look from the queen, who concluded the meeting by dismissing the princess with a move of the end. Positively overjoyed to have obtained what she came here for, she didn't protest. The modalities of her departure would be organisez soon enough. The Traveller blood in her veins made that very easy.

This was one of the last days princess Lamia Frosilaen-Claro would spend at the Divine Mandate's castle.

***

Her arrival was annonced with the reverence due to a princess, but Lamia still was surprised at that respect to protocol. From his letters, Faloi seemed to be a very anti-monarchy man, something she could respect to a certain extent; adding to this the state of Ink Republic and you'd get a combo where giving respect to princesses would be nearly impossible.

And yet, even though she came alone, without guards or maids, she was recognised and treted with nothing less but utmost respect. This was... Nice.

The guard that led her to Faloi's office bowed before knocking, announcing her. She was a bit surprised by the use of "cousin" except of "foreign princess", but said nothing. An interaction can teach a lot about a man's true feelings, and if Lina feared Faloi would not recognize her family with the same zeal than an uncle she never knew, that fact melted like snow with the use of that epithet.

She didn't have time to mull this over, though. Faloi, after a second of silence, instricted her to come in, and she did, using all her observation power to record what Ink Republic has to offer.

President's office was not that different from the Queen's. Books everywhere, reports she can only assume to be top'secret, and in the middle of the room, a desk covered in documents, that a blonde man with long hair was reading with utmost care.

She never saw Faloi Frosilaen in person. Her mother was hellbent on never letting him on the Divine Mandate ever again. So she was, in a way, picturing a man with the same hair of her mother, jet-black, and the same hard traits. A vision that quickly shattered when he lifted his head.

There was no Frosilaen in his face. He was fair-skinned, yes, but not to Lina's extent, and his cheeks were covered in worry wrinkles. His traits were soft, more of a woman's than a man's, but she could still see the strenght and the magic hidden behind that apprent softness.

The only thing common with her mother, she noticed, were the bags under his pink eyes.

He stood up, and held his hand open in front of her. She shook it.

His hands were carrying so much strenght she suddenly wasn't so sure about being able to take on "the grouchy cousin".

"Welcome, Lamia. Have a seat, have a seat. I was almost finished."

"Many thanks. What is that ?"

She pointed the book he was reading, now with a page tore down, marked with the seal of the President. Faloi frowned.

"One of the many laws of that country we must absolish. If you must, consider this book is the first of about thirty."

Lamia laughed.

"Considering the utterly ridiculous size of Ink City, I concur the laws are of the same level."

"You have no idea. Ink Ciry is for a lot of people, the God's Haven, bur for me, this is nothing but an administrative nightmare."

"And I do know a lot about nightmares considering my dad's side of the family, she laughed again. Still, I didn't expect that nickname. You see a lot of gods these days ?"

"My... Well, Love comes by often. Coming in to... "repair the mistakes of her predecessor". Death also pays us a visit from time to time. The others are strangely mute."

Not surprising for Lamia. She witnessed firsthand the whole cosmogony's revolution, with the Worm almost eating two members of the Supreme Council and one of the Four Horseknights. Moon still was recovering at Wake'li, apparently following Love's example at Ink City. No one heard about Disease since the death of her Avatar.

Universe's whole return probably is the cause of such a silence. but she knew better that to instruct Faloi of the implications of such a change. She just shrugged at the intel.

"Well, we don't have it any better. I wouldn't be too surprised if I was you. Except Desire, not many gods come by often, and Moon chose to recover in the Mandate. The others observe the same silence. Eithe rthe Ragnarök affected prayer transmission, or Universe's return makes them too afraid."

"That is a vaid possibility indeed. But let's drop the chit-chat and talk about something more serious."

he closed the book and towered around Lamia, far enoigh to not make her feel threatened, but close enough for her to feel his genuine curiosity.

"Your letter didn't help me much about what you were searching for. I can understand the sparse resources in the Mandate, but why call for me, specifically ? Even though I am in the middle of diplomatic treaties with the Four and most of all the Mandate, I am still a foreign dirigeant, and I thought your mother's hate was shared by all the royal family."

There was something in his words Lamia coudn't quite pinpoint. Was it loneliness ? Or sadness, maybe. A secret hope for an anwser that would satisfy him behind utmost professionalism. Something normal people probably could not even detect, considering the banality of Faloi's tone.

She didn't know if what she was seeing was from her imagination, her observation abolities, or if her father's power on fear detection passed more on her than she thought. But no matter, the best diplomacy choice would be to play along and tell him part of the truth. As much for trust than to put him at ease with her.

"Mom's uneasiness with Adam's lineage is well-known but not shared. Furthermore, she is as overwhelmed with work as you, but said work is less varied. I figured you would give me a better field teaching, and at the same time help improve our diplomatic relationships in a fluid way rather than with treaties. I will take the throne at some point, after all."

A pale smile grew on Faloi's lips.

"And so you decided to come learn under the dirigeant with the most political problems the whole continent has ever seen. Quite audacious if I can be frank with you."

Lamia flashed him the same smile.

"Well, better get every experience there is, don't you think ?"

***

If anyone asked her, Lamia would say was acclimating quite well to Ink Republic. Learning everything she could and finding herself in her element, during a very eventful stay. And for the most part, that was true. She was enjoying herself a lot during the months she spent in Ink City.

After all, there are no better teachings that discovering three coups, dismantling one and finding herself on the verge of being assassinated two times.

She already recruited one of the assassins, and got herself intel in places Faloi wouldn't even be able to check. Her cousin, she learnt, wasn't as keen on listening what prostitutes had to say than her. Not because of some sort of contempt, but more because showing his face in a brothel would be the death of his career.

She, on the other hand, was playing around the whole frivolous princess image the deputies had of her. Showing claws only when necessary, quickly she built herself the image of the idiot that can't understand what she's listening, only thinking of sheer pleasure.

People that saw her bare fangs are now dead.

So yes, she was enjoying herself quite a lot. that is, until she noticed.

Lamia is and always has been an observant woman. She knew what people thought of her in a whim, and what man to fear or what other to disregard. She knew how to assess power and influence of anyone she talked to, or what are the signs of intelligence she should pay attention to. But she knew nothing about love.

Nothing, except the longing looks Korrin would give her when Aelie's subject came on the table, on one of their countless calls. Nothing, but how her mother found happiness in her husband and wife, the laughs and the hugs and the kisses. They found both happiness and suffering in love, something she was stranger to.

Well, the most accurate term was "romantic love". Something she never lived for herself, and something Faloi seemed to be placed under.

She noticed the first incongruities in his behaviour when she came by. Chifuniro Eccesias, Genos's Director. Apparently a technological utopia, buiuld on intelligence and innovations, values that Lamia could respect. She knew enough to know better, though.

Daughter of a black mage, the treatment of her father's species made her blood boil the first time she read about them, and that allowed her to see how that utopia was rotten to the core.

Rotten apples always make people sick. She was afraid to see how Faloi was biting it nevertheless.

This was not voluntary. Just some things she noticed from time to time. Faloi's strange forgetfulness everytime he saw her, something she apparently was a stranger to. The easiness she was able to put in many reforms that were beneficial to her. Some looks she was giving to her President, looks that were shared.

That got bad enough to warrant an emergency meeting.

"This is not like you, she started. You are holding just fine, but I got used to absolute perfection coming from you. Maybe it's just an impression, but I'd better adress the problem before it becomes dire."

He nodded.

"I think I see what you mean. Me, too, I can see I am not as efficient as usual when it comes to that woman. But the "why" is a mystery to me."

"Oh, I can explain to you just fine. You're in love."

"I'm in.... what ?"

"You're in love. Congrats, cousin, she laughed in front of his astounded expression. Apparently work didn't kill that part of you."

"That sass is hash but fair. I didn't think I would ever have time to... Well. Fall in love."

"She is quite lovely. And a woman of your tastes, added Lamia with a little wink. I am quite fond of her peace reforms, and you two would work together just fine..."

Her face went serious again.

"... If she wasn't the leader of a country before under your tutelage, trying to wring you of every privilege she can. Please be careful."

She meant it.

***

Seeing the execution of a traitor didn't bring her as much joy as she believed at first.

Of course she was expecting Chifuniro to betray them. She saw the whole guild of Snakes ordeal unfold almost in front of her very eyes. But Faloi had been a little too much blinded by emotion. Just a little. And this is what it brought him.

The head of Chifuniro went rolling at their feet. Followed the ones of the leaders of the guild, the ones who tried to put the Seraphims back in power. Everything went back to the usual tension, as fine as Ink Republic could be.

Shifahrad's tail was moving very fast next to her. She was nervous, and rightfully so. The snakes were her first emplyers before Lamia took her under her wing, and seeing their ending would not help her uneasiness. Thinking that all this, the example they made of them, would have been done to her had she not eccapted the princess open hand does that to people.

Lamia was aware of that. But what was occupying her thoughts the most was Faloi's tired expression.

"it was the good decision, she said. You made an example of her. She herself understood it at her very last moments. No Genosian is stupid enough to not know when they lost."

"I know. And I don't... Regret, in a way. But still..."

"I can imagine it hurts, yeah. And you hate how it does nevertheless."

Faloi nodded.

"Bull's eye. Observant as ever."

"I learnt from the best."

Shifahrad laughed. A little, empty laugh. Probably she was aware, if not sharing, the hollowness living in her employers' head right now.

Lamia extended her hand. Putting it on her cousin's shoulder.

"You know, Faloi, considering what you shared during those years, you have a right to feel hurt."

"I have no time to regret a traitor."

"You have time to regret a woman that loved you and that you loved. Please don't let work take that away from you."

But she could see in his eyes it was too late.

A little laugh escaped his lips. Empty.

"Lamia Frosilaen-Claro lecturing me on feelings as she is an emotion guru..."

"Oh com'on, I am not that emotionless."

"You're no better than me, though. Sadly there is no time left for me to prove it, is there ?"

Inded there was not. Lamia's stay was coming to an end, her departure planned for the day after the execution. She had been too estranged of her own kingdom for too long, and her return was the perfect occasion to put Lynthe to safety. She couldn't postpone it for the sake of her cousin. Even if this was the worst time to leave him alone.

"Sadly yes. But knowing mother, she will be all-too-happy to give me all the diplomatic missions now. I'll be back soon enough."

It semmed for a moment he wanted to say something. Something stuck in his throat for a long time. But Lamia waited, and silence was her only answer. Up until Faloi shrugged, still looking at the execution site with empty eyes.

"That's a good thing. Say my salutations to Lina for me. If she even eccepts them."

***

It had been almost twenty years since that conversation. Nevertheless, when Lamia entered the President's office, it seemed like the last time she was truly alone with him was yesterday.

Faloi hadn't changed much. He got older, compared to her who didn't even get a wrinkle. More tired, too, but that was to be expected. Almost fifty years of leading Ink Republic and he couldn't even throw an election like he so ardently wished to.

His face still lit up a little when she came up unannouced in his office.

"Lamia, it is good to see you."

"Likewise. The years didn't treat you well, but I am happy to see you in somewhat good health."

Faloi smiled a little bit, but his next reply was cut with a very annoyed voice coming from behind Lamia.

"Apologies for the unpoliteness, but this is no time for a tea party. We have a whole fucking problem on our arms, for fuck's sake."

Lamia huffed. Ever so polite, father.

Faloi was hoverwer not destabilised. He got up and went to shake Baku's hand with a polite nod.

"Your Majesty. Thank you for coming in such a short notice."

"There is absolutely no problem. We kinda need all help we can to deal with that menace of a twin, don't we ?"

His tone was polite, but cold. Lamia didn't know if it was caused by Faloi himself or the menace they were here to talk about.

Faloi didn't let that go unnoticed. His tension in the shoulders, relaxed when he thought only Lamia was in the room, was proof of that. But then again, it could be due to both personal grudges or the inherent fear born from the sight of a nightmare harbinger.

"Right. Akira. I am not gonna beat around the bush, we are gonna need your expertise. Nightmare harbingers are not enough known in Ink Republic, especially that one. Yet, they are powerful enough to destroy Genos's main library..."

He went tense at Genos' mention.

"... And many others. Rumor has it they even managed to control Beleco for a time gods know how."

"I have my ideas knowing Beleco's whole structure, grunted Baku, but carry on. They're coming to Ink City, are they?"

"Yes. We need to stop them before they reach the city. And put an end to their life, if possible. I already gathered all the clerics and my army, but we have to cover the whole city, and we will need to know the best strategy to defeat him. Maybe Nru... ?"

"Forget about Nru, cut Baku, harsh. She has the ideal Domain against Immortals such as myself, but would be too slow to react. They would kill her instantly, and painfully."

Faloi nodded.

"This is what I feared. The problem is, we're out of options."

"Not quite."

Smiling coldly, Baku pulled out a huge book from his bag, marked at a very precise page.

"This is an extract of the workings of the first magister magicae. One, as we call him in history, had encountered Immortals in his research, and designed a spell able to block their regeneration."

"That would be.... Ideal, in fact. What are the drawbacks ?"

New cold smile. Lamia was looking at her father silently, jauging the anger in his behaviour. No, that was definitely not Faloi causing this. More like, the situation they were in.

In retrospective, she could get why.

"At least you're not as idiot as I feared. The major drawback would be that it's a very long spell to cast, count around five minutes. We would need to keep them in the same place for the duration of my incantations, which is complicated enough."

He closed the book, still looking directly into Faloi's eyes. Faloi who was listening patiently, waiting for the conclusion.

"Other minor drawbacks are that I would necessary be the one to cast the spell, since I am the most powerful healer here and an Immortal. As such, I can't use magic for anything else during the incantations. Akira, however, still will be able to use his other Domains."

"He will retaliate, added Lamia, calmly. And if we manage to hurt, but not kill him, this could put us in a dire situation."

Faloi nodded.

"I see. Well, I am afraid this is still the best solution we can get. But I won't have enough men powerful enough to protect you and restrain him, while protecting the population. Can't the Divine Mandate help ?"

"We would, if we could, sighed Lamia, but all our energy is dedicated to reconstruction right now. And bringing one of our mages in the fight would only anger her more. I am already 100% sure that if dad and Nru are in the same spot, she will use an instakill spell without hesitation."

"Alright. I may have a solution at hand, but we will need to wait and see if they come. in the meantime, you are my estimeed guests. Please make yourself comfortable."

"Oh, the memories, laughed Baku, a little bitterly. But I take the offer. I'll see you later, Faloi."

That's on what he left, bringing with him the book and that evergrowing tension. Lamia, however, stayed behind. Looking at her cousin behind the desk, you just seemed to age up twenty years.

"Apologies for his bluntness, she sighed. The situation in the kingdom is still... Well. Complicated."

"I take it the rumors on your sister's death are true."

Her heart ached. Shereen, poor little girl, so young and defenseless. Baku's pride and joy. Shera's pride and joy. Lina's little sunshine that won't ever shine again.

Lamia's little sister.

"Yes. Akira killed her. Dad didn't forgave himself for not seeing it coming."

"All my condoleences."

He was sincere, Lamia could feel it. Even though his tone was the same tired as usual, even though his face couldn't express anything, she knew he felt genuine hurt. For her, for Baku, and for her sister's demise.

He just hid it too well for other people.

"Thank you."

A look exchanged between the two of them.

Eyes saying more than words could ever.

***

"Faloi, with all due respect, what the actual fuck ????"

Lamia never was this impolite before, especially now that she was close from sixty. But in her defense, that woman was the last thing she expected to see in her cousin's office.

Well, the problem was not the woman. She seemed pleasing enough in her opinion, a bit too blunt, maybe, but Lamia could see between her eyes true intelligence and reflexion. No, the problem was the prosthesis taking place of her left arm. Undoubtedly of genosian facture.

A genosian in the president's office. That didn't happen since Chifuniro. and this is exaclty what she had a problem with.

"Ah, Lamia, said Faloi. May I introduce you to Ether, my councelor."

Said Ether was looking at her with distrust. Fair enough, thoight Lamia. She didn't exactly give a good first impression. Something she will have to repair ugently, especially considering that very high title.

Councelor. How in the Abyss did that happen, Lamia didn't know. But the questions wold come later.

She stuck her hand to the woman. Elven, probably around thirty. At least that's what her aura said.

"Apologies for the impoliteness. I am princess Lamia Frosilaen, heir to the throne of the divine Mandate, and charged of the diplomacy between my kingdom and the Republic."

"It is... an honor."

That girl doesn't know how to lie, thought Lamia. She was still distrustful. She even saw her tense at the mention of her family name. But there was something else. Some kind of longing look, that strenghtened when she looked at Faloi, and...

oh, Intrigue the First.

"Faloi, she said, would it be possible to talk to you privately as soon as possible ? I have urgent matters to discuss with you, and Shifahrad will get worried if I don't come back in time."

"Of course. Ether, if you please..."

She obtempered, but Lamia could see how much she didn't want to do that. Leaving Faloi alone, or leaving him alone with her ? In any case, it was getting very serious.

As soon as the door closed on her, she turned towards Faloi.

"Never did I thought I'd see a Genosian again in your office after what happened with Chifuniro, Faloi. Do I take it you have a type ?"

"I don't see what is prompting that."

"Oh please. She's head over heels for you, that's visible like my goddamn nose in the middle of my face. And you feel something for her too don't you ?" She cut in the middle of Faloi's attempt to respond. "Don't try to hide it from me. I know you well enough. Even if it's not love, there is something."

Faloi sighed.

"She is... Trustworthy. You saw how bluntly she acts and how true to herself she stays. This is something I missed. Having someone who will just tell me the truth."

That was fair enough. And that Ether didn't seem like Chifuniro. Or even herself. Master in the art of lies.

But still...

"I know you're worried, Lamia, sighed Faloi. I'm gonna throw back your words at you, but I know you well enough. But I have the situation at hand. She won't betray me."

That was a tone saying "She brings me a buttload of other problems but not that one, I am sure of". Lamia could read that easily. Somehow that was more reassuring than pretending the woman was the perfect advisor.

She nodded.

"Well, I know you will handle this. I trust you. But well, Ether matter aside, there was something else..."

And this is how that chapter was closed.

At least that's what she thought.

***

Her mother calling her in her office was rare enough for Lamia to worry.

She felt even more dread seeing her pale face next to an Ink Republic seal.

"You wanted to see me, mom ?"

Behind her, Lynthe and Shifahrad tensed . They met the queen already, in their fifty years at the place, but this was the first time Lamia askd them to accompany her in a meeting with her. Somehow that fact was less reassuring than the presence of the queen herself.

Lina was close to death. At least that's what her people thought. Her hair got greyer, her face was fillof wrinkles. Her right eye was losing accuracy evry day a little bit more. Still Lamia never saw her looking more old than she was today.

"Sit down. I need to talk to you."

Lamia obeyed. The dread was stopping her to protest.

Lina was too emotional.

Too... Sad.

What was happening ?

"Mom ?"

"Take a biscuit first."

She never did that before.

With Lina, it was always straight to the point. She asked what she needed, she told what she had to, and it was over. Her being adamant on making things go slow only made Lamia more worried.

Her fist clenched.

"Mom, what's wrong ?!"

Truly you don't listen, do you, sighed Lina. Alright. I received a letter of the Ink Republic today. With... Unsettling news."

She closed her eyes.

"Baku wanted me to announce that to the kingdom as soon as possible, but I judged I would tell you first."

Lynthe and Shifahrad shivered. Lina's tone was too... Resigned. Too calm. For her usual way of talking about Ink Republic. Lamia helped build solid diplomacy between them, with the help of Faloi working so hard to rebuild the bridge between them, but that didn't mean Lina liked what relationship they had.

She still hated Faloi. She still hated Paper continent as a whole. She shut up because it was for the Divine Mandate.

That made her attitude all the more weird.

"Is there something wrong with the Republic ? With the treaties ? Do I need to arrange a meeting with Faloi to-"

"He's dead."

Lamia stopped right on her tracks.

That didn't stop her mother. Blurting her information in an empty tone, her hands shivering on the desk.

"He's dead, Lamia. He tried to reunite all the dirigeants of countries wanting independance to sing a peace treaty and finally move on to reforms. They trapped him in his own negociation room to kill him, 83 vs one."

But Lamia was not listening anymore.

Dead.

Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

Faloi, dead. Her cousin, dead. The person she thought the most of a friend in that godsforsaken world, dead. Stabbed in the back by the people he tried to free.

Dead without achieving anything.

Something felt heavy on her cheek. And wet. She held her finger under her eyes, blinking when whe saw on her nail a droplet of water.

A tear.

Was she crying ?

Did she ever cry?

***

In all my lifetime, no one showed me more understanding than the first President of Ink Republic, my cousin, Faloi Frosilaen. Our family history may be sour, between the hate shared by my mother and his father, Adam Frosilaen, or the history between our two nations, but when I asked to learn under him, never he showed any grudge of some sort and always treated me as his equal, a woman worth of his teachings.

Our collaboration was the best thing to ever happened to the Divine Mandate. Under him, I went from princess to queen. I learnt how to manage a country, I learnt how to spot traitors, and I learnt to listen to the people. Ironically, he helped far more the Divine Mandate than he ever could the Ink Republic. The Divine Mandate would not be the kingdom it is without him. I wouldn't be the queen I am without him.

He was a good man. A bit idealist by moments, trying to do everything at the same time. Ruthless if needed, ready to sacrifice even his personhood for his dream. Sometimes, I wonder if he would have been happier if he just gave up. But give up didn't even come to his mind once.

I won't let him be remembered by the world as a tyrant.

Extract of Lamia the Irst Frosilaen-Claro coronation speech

#hel is talking #lysara #lysara ibruael #hel ocs #hel stories #hel writing #please keep in mind many of the events are still vague since they were not written or decided upon #and I don't know much about Ether's stay #but I wanted to write something about Lamia's relationship to Faloi and it may have gotten a bit out of hand

[afraidofchange]

Rama is only 5'5" (165cm) tall, but she carries herself like she's 6'0" (183cm).

It's the combination of her ability to intimidate the fuck out of anything that moves, paired with the way she's so solidly built, and the fact that she wears heavy armour that brings it all together.

#RAMA WOLFBLUFF: HEADCANON #DASH COMMENTARY. #[ listen Rama's ability to intimidate people as an oath of vengeance paladin has gotten me out of a LOT of fights lmaooooooo ] #[ she isn't usually that aggressive but if you piss her off she WILL threaten to bring you to justice by her hand ] #[ and she may have to look up at you but it doesn't matter ]

[astorichan]

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

give me the love of my life (ambiguous)

Love of your life you say? Ambiguous you say? Time to abuse that wording of yours =P

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon for the true love of your life /j:

You know about my music headcanons already, so I won't repeat myself here. I'll instead say that they love, love, love research for research's sake. Learning for learning's sake. Whenever they travel to a new place with your other love of your life, they're immediately the one trying to assemble as much information about the place as possible. They learn every single language that they come across. They go around marking interesting stuff to research in their free time. Their idea of time spent well is to hide in their room, possibly with Grimm, and just. Read. Write things down. Train in languages. Him being so close by while simultaneously focused on something of his own is their vision of a perfect day, add in rain drumming on the tent and you have them absolutely, utterly content.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon for the other love of your life =P

So, to continue the train of thought: Grimm likes to draw. A lot. And he's not really secretive about it, but he loves it most when Hollow's simply somewhere nearby and focused on their own thing. He also adds them into almost every painting of his, and it's a game with the two with Hollow searching where and how he'd depicted them this time around. He's also very into "technical" stuff. Not the correct word. Bear with me. He loves precise calculations and spellweaving - that is a shared hobby with Hollow as well, though he sometimes chooses to shut himself away from the world entirely and just FOCUS on the thing that he's doing. It isn't as "light" of a time spent as drawing.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon for Hollow:

They like trying to cook, because it's interesting for them - but damn, are they awful at it. They still have a ton of fun with it, though dsfgdsf They don't really have a favourite food, but they like spicy a lot. It takes a lot of spice to get them as well, since. Void and stuff. (Also, their favourite tea flavour is Assam black tea for Dreamsverse and non-descript white tea for Shatterverse, since I can't find into which of the five types the one i'm thinking falls.)

♒ - cooking/food headcanon for your blorbo supreme:

He's good at cooking. Like. He's godtier at cooking and at mixing beverages too. He loves experimenting with stuff, which is not always welcomed by Hollow, since they're a fairly "there are three comfort foods that I like and I don't need to eat in the first place" person. He's also into spice. He doesn't like some of Hollow's favourite things as well - for example, cilantro. (Favourite tea is rooibos, heheheh. He also loves very strong black teas, though.)

#answered asks #grollow #LITERALLY #this may or may not have gotten out of hand #but grab your food :> #ambiguous asks i enjoy them #dfgds

[jokerownsmysoul]

#I expected anything today except for getting this beautiful bts pic out of nowhere 🥹🥹🥹 #He's so handsome and beautiful I can't handle this #It's always so overwhelming to be able to see a scene from a different poco #Different POV * #He's beautiful i seriously can't 🥹 #This scene is a ne of my ultimate weaknesses #I love how he keeps his hands fondled in #And his greasy hair 💓💓 #What a rare beauty Arthur is #One goes on about their day only to get these bts pics out of nowhere and go crazy over them #And you may think c'mon it's just a pic and we have already gotten a similar one back in the days #but my heart gets overwhelmed still at any chance to see him again no matter how small can be #Arthur Fleck #My edit