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timeforaciggy · 2 months

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Jerma x reader request

Reader and jerma go to the record store together and he is too embarrassed to buy his favorite gorillas record infront of reader

Feel free to change it up to make it more cutsy if needed

💿📀💿

A/N:

okay. so first jerma fic. not a great writer to begin with, but I had some (a lot) absolut vodka and just started hitting my keyboard with ideas and made this.

Anon, thank you for requesting this and also please let me know if you end up liking this or not. Your feedback is really helpful and appreciated. Never wrote about him before and want to make sure I’m doing this idea and him justice. (be as honest as you can, I promise my feelings won’t be hurt. As you can MAYBE TELL, I’m a new(er) viewer and don’t want to fuck it up, and if I did, I’d be happy to rewrite it)

Also I’m sorry it’s long, I hope that’s okay!

-abs

!Songs to listen to while reading (and were played while writing)! :

The Blonde - TV Girl ((highly recommend, background vibe created by this song))

On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz

It was your idea to go to a local record store after you were surprised by a beyond thoughtful Christmas gift from him earlier that holiday. He’d gotten you a new record player- not only new but a good one.

Your heart melted when you opened the wrapping paper to see that he’d gone so out of his way to get you something special and significant to you. You had an extensive collection of records from your favorite bands, even limited editions and pressings with incredible designs and colors. He thought it was so precious that you would show them to him. He’d sit there listening to you and looking at each one with a smile on his face. Whenever he’d stop in your office and both of you would fall into a rabbit hole of music, he’d always had remembered that when you would take them out, you wished you could play them, but you never did- you were too worried your old record player would scratch them and ruin them.

The mental note he took from that months ago leading up to the gift was so thoughtful. He hadn’t asked you about it or hinted at anything regarding it. He wanted it to be a good surprise. And it most definitely was. He spent a lengthy amount of time looking into ‘what the best record player was’, and especially the most reliable one, not wanting your records to get ruined. Just wanting you to finally be able to play them without worry; finally being able to just simply enjoy the music you loved so much.

After your excitement opening his gift and him setting it up with a good speaker, (and telling you “babe, let me do it I’m an expert, I promise.” sarcastically.) You’d started playing them all.

Over the days and months that would pass, he loved hearing your music echo throughout the house. No matter what he was doing, even while just on his computer and catching up on work, any small inconvenience would disappear as he listened to the sound of your favorite songs start playing. It made him smile ear to ear. Every single time.

And although he wasn’t much into music himself,

he was very much into yours.

After a while you’d asked while out on a random excursion in Vegas if you could stop by a record store and pick up some new stylus’ for the record player. He was more than happy to go with you and also explore the store with you as you both looked around. The amount of records was overwhelming to him as he browsed, so he went looking for what he really only knew well. Meanwhile, you went up to the store owner and asked for the specific part you were looking for.

After finding the replacement needed, you turn to see him flicking through the records absentmindedly. That was until he made it to the ‘G’ section and after moving a couple records you can see his hand stop. Pulling his other hand out of his pocket to reach out to pull the record out of the box.

You can see he’s holding a Gorrilaz album and you watch as he looks at it, flipping it over and reading the tracklist. His face in practical awe of his favorite albums of all time.

“Hey, whatchya find?” You ask him curiously

“Oh it’s- they have a Gorillaz album or two” he turns and replies but almost immediately stopping himself from trying to sound too excited.

“Did you, uh find the stylus?” He asks changing the subject.

“Yeah, I did I bought a couple replacements just in case.” You say smiling

“Awesome, where to next?” He asks smiling at you

“Well hold on. What about the Gorillaz album? Don’t you want it?” Asking him sincerely

“Oh uh- nah” he says casually. “Just checking out the artwork.” He adds while looking away.

His face is burning. And he’s praying you don’t notice.

But of course you do. You just don’t let him know it.

You don’t completely understand his reluctance to share something like an album with you. But knowing he isn’t that into music- you chalk it up to being maybe something he just didn’t want to open up to you about yet. It is sort of the ‘one thing’ he doesn’t have in common with you: that being an extensive love for music.

You choose not to push it… But keep a mental note of it. It’s honestly just so cute to you. The thought of him being too embarrassed to admit he wanted the album? You can’t. It didn’t need to make sense for it to absolutely melt your heart. Something you seem to find he makes new ways of doing every second you’re with him.

As the both of you leave to head out of the store, him being a gentleman, wordlessly shows an open palm to you, gesturing towards the bag you’re holding and motions a ‘gimme gimme’ to you with a sweet little smirk. You hand it over to him with a laugh, looking up at him with a big smile and a “thank you”.

As you continue walking, his other arm follows around the back of your waist and pulls you into him as he presses his lips onto your head.

“You’re welcome, love.”

———————————————————————————

Days went by as he’d stay clueless to during that day you’d have a surprise in store for him that upcoming Valentine’s Day. You had bought him the albums while checking out of the store, asking the store owner to charge you for them then and to put them aside for you to come and pick up the following day. The owner was more than happy to do just that.

That Valentine’s Day you’d surprised him with some red wine and both took a moment to laugh realizing he did the same thing. You both gave each other a glass of the wine from the bottle you’d bought for one another and gave a sounding clink and a ‘cheers’ to each other. You had made his favorite pasta for dinner that night for the two of you. You lit some candles on the coffee table, enjoyed your pasta together, and cuddled up with him watching a movie. Both of you loving a chill romantic evening together on the couch, just watching a movie and enjoying being in one another’s arms.

As the movie finished, you decide to play blackjack together. Watching his fingers shuffle the cards you couldn’t not stop smiling at him biting his lip like he always did while he’s focusing. Resting your face against your hand you told him that you’d ‘be right back’, and ‘that this deserved some good music.’ He smiled and chuckled at you as you got up to go upstairs to your record player. He agreed and went to fill up your wine glasses.

As he’s pouring the wine he asks you ‘what’s on the track list tonight, dj?’ You had to throw your hand over your mouth to stop from laughing, trying so hard to sound serious when you replied: “Well, I was gonna play some TV Girl, but shit! I think the record player’s broken- can you help me, babe?”

As he quickly thumped up the stairs he was mentally devastated by the idea that your new record player had broken- unbeknownst to him however, you quickly put the Plastic Beach record onto the turntable, turned the player on and waited till the perfect moment for him to come in the room.

You were holding the needle ready to place it onto the already spinning record as he turned the corner into your office with two wine glasses in his hands and a concerned yet sad look on his face.

Dropping the needle onto the right track (thank god, tipsy enough that you hoped it wouldn’t land on a different track, although funny, you wanted it to be a good surprise), the record player began playing ‘On Melancholy Hill’.

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at you, then around the room. Looking at the candles you had lit, his brain finally realizing what you had been up to and what he was hearing.

He couldn’t help the smile and giggle he let out.

“Really?” He asked stuck in a hilarious disbelief you went through to this sweet extent to surprise him.

“Yeah, really” you chimed back to him while chuckling.

You walked up to him and gently took the glasses out of his hands while taking a sip out of one and then placing them on your desk.

Still stuck in surprise, his eyes following you and then down to your hand that was now reached out towards him. He chuckled at you as you motioned the same ‘gimme gimme’ to him with your hand.

He slowly walked over to you reaching for your hand and paused. Looking at you as sincerely as you’ve ever seen him do. He rubs his thumb slowly across your knuckles pressing his lips to them softly. Gently pulling the same hand to move you close to him while placing it onto his shoulder in a smooth motion. Winding another arm around your waist to hold you and begin to sway you slowly, not even to the beat of the song, but to the rhythm of his absolute joy in the moment. A beat you more than happily moved to along with him as your head rests against his chest.

The two of you slow dance in each other’s arms in the dimly lit room.

The only pause was Jeremy. Stopping to look you in the eyes, dead serious, to ask: “There’s nothing actually wrong with your record player though, right?”

You can’t stop laughing at his clueless but sweet question, struggling to answer “No, there was nothing wrong with it to begin with.”

But he gets the jist as he starts laughing himself.

He continues moving with you through the laughter to dip you to your surprise, taking the moment to laugh at your surprise. Then as he brings you back up, he places a soft hand under your chin tilting your head up and slowly leaning in to kiss you softly.

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was being suddenly tipped over, but it was the sweetest, most butterfly-in-the stomach kiss you’d ever shared and it made your head swim in the best way possible.

As the night ended, you both went to bed late, you both had been too busy having fun listening to the albums you’d surprised him with, and the time spent together to care. Now in bed you both cuddled up together and before you fell asleep he pulled you closer to his chest, as he thanked you for the surprise all you could do was look up at him and tell him the same. Engulfed in his arms he rested his head on top of yours.

“I love you, y/n” he hummed into your hair

“I love you too, j” you replied wholeheartedly

Last thing you remember is him carefully adjusting himself to place a kiss on your forehead and then your lips before sighing contently and falling asleep together in his arms.

#anon #jerma985 x reader #jerma x reader #jerma985 x you #jerma x you #jerma985 x y/n #jerma x y/n #jerma #jerma arc #archive #THERE I DID IT I DID THE THING #this is literally all his fault sorry catb tumblr I love you sm lmfao #OFF TO EAT COLD PIZZA AND PASS OUT #<3

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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Jimin is a pretty bOY

This is a continuation of our discussion on my last post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, I think I agree with all of it.

Not sure how I feel about the calling eachother out bit or near scolding of others in the comments. Please let's be welcoming and respectful of others's thoughts regardless of whether or not we agree with it. It's ok to hold diverse views. We do after all come from different backgrounds and have accumulated different experiences and I think it plays out in how we see things. Everyone's opinion is valid. Plus, I purple yall.

Now, do I think he is trying to pack on muscles........? Yes. He said so himself in Festa when he said he would rush to the mirror when he thought he had gained some muscle only to find out his biceps looks like a muscled kindergartner.

He also said lately he's into exercising and staying in shape which is true because for quite sometime now since early this year he has been talking about how "weak" he is in their Vlives and have even given instances of him not being able to do certain things- certian simple and easy tasks- which is typical of him I'd say. He's always talking about how "weak" he is especially around JK and juxtaposing that with "but JK is so strong" which I'm sorry but I have to smirk at right now cos it's such a typical gay pick me simp thing to do. We've all been there.

Do I think he's trying to be a muscle bunny or revert back to his body shape around debut? Absolutely not. But I do think he is straddling the line of toxic masculinity which is what the conversation is about.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to stay in shape or even enjoying work outs. Last night I ran downstairs because I had left my stew on the stove and now this morning I called renew my gym membership because I discovered running can be actually fun to do... No. No it's not. The gym instructor would have to come for me kicking and screaming.

RM have said even though JM looks skinny and fragile he is one of the strongest within the group. Besides, this is not the first time he's expressed interest in working out and building his body- hello, on Era?

I remember people complaining he looked too buffed up in that period on SNS and PJMs quickly jumping in to clear the searches for it. The choreo for On required agility and endurance and required the members- not just JM build up some definition in their muscles.

We've seen them go through all that. So it's not simply a matter of black and white staying in shape or doing it because he feels pressured to do so. Especially, when you consider that he's undertaken some pretty unhealthy measures in the past in attempts to lose weight or soften out his body post these muscle building, weight gaining periods and we've always chalked it up to his dance and how as a contemporary dancer he has to look a certain way or this or that to try to justify and make sense of it. Next you, know there are six chapters of break the silence of him talking about all the dark places he's been, the pressures to look his best for his fans or for his job and all these other painful stories he's shared with us over the years. And it's like, but why? Why do this to yourself?

I'll never forget the look he gave JK when JK was talking about wanting to build muscles in one of the interviews for the promotion of Be- I think I made a post on it. When JK noticed JMs disapproving glare he backtracked saying he would want to stay skinny after gaining all that muscles.

I mean if I'm to be honest, he was bound to crack at one point. The signs were there being surrounded by all these men who adhere to the traditional aesthetics of a masculine body- from Namjoon to Taehyung.

I wish y'all will steer the conversation in this direction and make it more about gender norms and expressions and breaking stereotypes and diversity in the body aesthetics of men.

Jimin is a man too. He just isn't what people traditionally will label masculine. Androgynous is more an apt word in my opinion. How many times have I said, I think Jungkook hetero passes because his body aesthetics is quintessentially what most associates with a masculine man?

Breaking gender barriers is not just about embracing feminine apparels- that teeters on cross dressing quite frankly and can be a bit performative and baity. Then you have to consider their culture in itself has an inherent pro gender diversity feel to it.

Now, let me explain my problem with the Klout ad campaign a little bit.

Do you see how Tae stands out? And I'm not saying this to fuel the "Tae was their fav" debacle. It's the 007 feel... I'll explain in a bit.

Most often, alcohol advertisers as well as most advertisements intended to sell to men often try to appeal to men's internalized ideals of masculinity or try to shape and define what a man or masculinity should look like. These ideals are so often toxic and detrimental to men and mostly women too.

Take a look at these ads for example. All I had to do was google search ads for men.

Real men drink milk and look at the image they present as real men. This blatantly implies if you don't look like this, if you are not a strong cliff climbing man with abs you are not a real man.

The second image is subtle. I call it the 007 slash Kingsmen-esque ideals of masculinity. It portrays men as sexy cool badass- works out but isn't too buff, filthy rich or middle class, wears Rolex, designer clothes, is kind but has a mean exterior and is every 13 year old wattpad girls's dream of a man. In fiction, you see this kind of masculinity in characters such as Edward cullens to Christian Grey. And a lot of ads for men alternate between these two ideals of masculinity.

Do you see how they modeled Taehyung in these ads after this kind of masctheme? Tae looks the same in almost all the ads. 007 sexy cool badass.

Now, I may not be a makeup beauty guru or MUA or whatever, but one thing I've picked up on especially when it comes to makeup for men- BTS and Kpop idols mostly is that, they soften out the harsh features on their faces and make them appear more androgynous or effeminate to suit the Kpop look and they ditch it entirely in different settings.

So for instance, Tae and Kookie's natural hawkish eyebrows tend to get softened around the arch and edges- don't know how the fuck they do that- but it appears less in your face intense most times when they wear make up in kpop related contents.

However, in certain other contents that lean towards a certain gender theme those features are emphasized. Not to say hawkish features are masculine features. Just saying in men, Kpop idols, my observation is they soften those features out with makeup or surgery.

Now, take a look at JM in these ads and look at everything from his posture, make up, hairstyle and brows. It's as if someone took an eraser to his androgynousity and erased his feminine side. Take a look at his photo above and compare it to the ads.

I am not a man. But I feel the gender look they went for, intended to appeal to men, tapped into a rather outdated stereotype of what man and masculinity should look like.

What is a man?

What should a man look like?

What aesthetics of masculinity is Jimin gravitating towards now? And I'm not talking clothes, I'm talking the expression of his gender. Time and again, he's talked about how looking a certain way made him uncomfortable in the past because he was constantly fighting his feminine side. He is androgynous. Sometimes he leans more into his feminine side. Other times he leans more into his masculine side but this is the only time he's leaning into his masculinity that makes me uncomfortable to watch because like I said it bothers on toxic masculinity.

He's said whoever he was, the version fighting to look masculine, that wasn't him. So forgive me if I worry whenever i see him suppressing his feminine side and acting like 'one of the boys.' Him staying in shape is not synonymous with him erasing a valid part of himself or suppressing it. He can stay in shape, celebrate his masculinity and still be FILTER.

What I'm saying is, this not a conversation about him exercising. This is a conversation about an ad erasing his feminine side and boxing him into a narrow expression of his gender and how that might be affecting his view of himself especially in the way he's been gravitating towards a certain masculine aesthetics and how that could be toxic.

Tae has said the same thing and BTS have agreed the JM as of 2019 was the real JM according to them.They said he was that way- suppressing his feminine side, because there weren't much songs and choreos that suited him and so he had had to bend himself to fit with the others.

And so when I see him leaning a certain way I tend to wonder if his exterior environment is playing a role in that. I hope you can understand that.

He is a contemporary dancer and strength and flexibility are prerequisites for his craft. The company go out of their way to incorporate contemporary dance in their choreos for JM's sake which helps solve that problem of him trying too hard to look a certain way.

May be I'm projecting. May be my little brother is effeminate and I've always recommended Jimin as a role for him to tell him not to try to look different just because other boys look different. May be I've seen him try one too many times to kill himself in the gym trying to build on muscles and getting frustrated with himself because he ends up looking like someone else. You can't gym the queerness away. Society will never let you be who you want to be so you might as well flip it the middle finger.

These boys are being shaped by their environment. I hate to say this but the environment they are in isn't exactly progressive and the longer they stay in there cut off from the outside world...

Flying out helps. Meeting different people and being exposed to different cultures and conversations on gender expression helps.

Anywho, these are just concerns I have. Will have them till I see that's not where he is headed towards. But let's not act like these ad campaigns do not and can not psychologically impact these boys especially as these advertisers are not looking to tap into their own definition of gender and masculinity but shape it and redefine it to appeal to the demographic they intend to market to.

I think this is just a grey area for me. Rather than try to change JM to look a certain way in order to sell alcohol. I think the ground breaking thing would be to have a man who looks like JM show us how someone like him would sell a can of drink. I think that would be revolutionary.

Signed,

GOLDY

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bakuhoes-slut234 · 3 years

Text

Kirishima x reader smut Friends With Benefits Part 1

"Hey Y/N, wanna go to the concert with us? We have an extra ticket" said Denki.

It was currently a Saturday and everyone was relaxing in the dorms.

There was a (fav band) concert but Y/N wasn't able to get a ticket since they were sold out .

"OH MY GOD! REALLY?" she beamed.

"Yeah, get dressed, we're leaving soon" responded Sero

"Who else is coming?" She asked.

"Bakugou, Mina, Sero, myself, you and Kirishima" said the walking charger.

"Awesome. I'll be back in a bit"

Y/N ran up the stairs and changed into a black spaghetti strap vest with a white skull on it, a pair of blue wash denim short shorts and some black studded platform boots.

She curled her hair and put on just some lipstick and mascara.

She ran down the stairs where the Bakusquad was waiting for her.

"Fucking finally" growled Bakugou

"OMG! Y/N, you look hot! Don't you think she looks hot?" Squealed Mina

"Damn Y/N, you look good" said Denki while Sero nodded in agreement.

"Hey Y/N. You look nice" smiled Kiri. He had his hair down.

"Aw, thank Kiri. You look good too. All of you look amazing" she said. "Let's go!" She beamed and walked out the door.

Everyone followed her out.

Y/N bounced up and down with excitement as they made their way to the venue.

"Y/N seems really excited" said Denki.

"Yeah, I wanted to get tickets but they were sold out. This is my favourite band EVER!" she raised her arms to exaggerate her excitement.

"Really? They're my favourite band too" smiled Kiri

"You and I have to get matching band shirts Kiri." She said and Kirishima nodded in agreement.

"Oh, and I have a bunch of their merch, after the concert you can come check it out if you want".

"Sure. I have some merch too. We can show each other" he suggested and Y/N bounced in excitement.

"Calm the fuck down. We're here" snapped Bakugou.

"OH MY GOD! I can't believe I'm really here" squealed Y/N and Mina at the same time. They looked at each other and then broke out into a laughing fit.

They entered the building after showing the bouncer their tickets.

Y/N looked around, shocked to her core.

The band's stuff was set up on the stage, with spotlights pointed at where each band member would stand.

Hundreds of people gathered at the front of the stage, trying to get the best view for when the concerts start.

Y/N and the Bakusquad pushed their way to the front, so that they were standing as close to the stage as possible.

The lights turned off and the suddenly, the was a blast of colour.

Red, orange, yellow green, blue, white and many more colours flashed throughout the building. Then, the crowd roared when the band came on stage.

"I LOVE YOU!" shouted Y/N

The music was roaring and the crowd was dancing. The smell of beer and cigarette filled their senses.

"Who wants more!?" Shouted Mina as she held up a jug of beer

"MEEE!" shouted Y/N.

Mina poured her another cup and did the same for the rest of the group.

Y/N started feeling dizzy and unstable about 5 cups ago.

Then, her favourite song started playing.

Y/N screamed and whistled with excitement.

The song started and the crowd danced to the music. Y/N jumped up and down, letting the music control her body.

Little did she know, that someone can't keep their eyes off of her.

Kirishima stood a little away from Y/N.

He watched as she danced and thrashed about with the crowd. Beer spilling out of her cup and onto her shirt. Sweat glistening on her skin under the lights, hair going in all directions and clinging to her forehead.

In his eyes, she looked absolutely stunning. Perfect.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed Y/N make her way over to him.

"DANCE WITH ME EIJI!" she screamed over the music.

Kirishima blushed but agreed.

He placed his hands on her hips and followed her movements. Moving in time with the music.

She took a step closer to him and turned her back to face his front. She pressed her upper back against his chest and her ass against his hips as she swayed her hips in time with the best.

Kirishima gasped as she grinded her ass against him but didn't stop her.

She felt him grow hard and smirked.

"HEY EIJI?"

"YEAH?"

"IS THAT YOUR QUIRK OR ARE YOU JUST EXCITED TO SEE ME?" she laughed.

He gave her an answer that surprised her.

"OF COURSE I'M EXCITED TO SEE YOU. YOU LOOK PERFECT"

She gasped and spun to face him.

"EIJI, I THINK THAT'S JUST THE BEER TALKING"

"NOPE. WELL, KINDA. WHEN I GET DRUNK, I SAY THINGS THAT I'M TOO SCARED TO SAY WHEN I'M SOBER"

Y/N felt her cheeks flush.

Yeah, she thought he was hot but she was never planning on acting. But this time was different.

"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE" she said and grabbed his hand.

"BUT YOU LOVE THIS BAND, AREN'T YOU HAVING FUN?" he asked.

"I AM... I JUST WANT TO HAVE A DIFFERENT KIND OF FUN"

Kirishima blushed at her words but let her drag him away.

Y/N lead him out of the building and into a motel that was close by.

"Y/N, why are we here?" He asked.

"You'll see" she said and walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me. Can we get a room?" She asked the lady behind the desk.

"One bed or two?" She asked.

"Well have one." She said and 2inked at the lady.

The lady smiled and typed on her laptop.

"50 dollars please"

"Here let me pay-" he was cut off as Y/N's hand covered his mouth.

She handed the lady some cash and grabbed the key on the desk.

"Thank you" she smiled and pulled Kirishima along with her.

She unlocked the door and walked into the room.

The room had a king sized bed with black sheets.

"Y/N, what ar-" he was cut off again as a pair of lips crashed against his.

His eyes widened in shock but them he melted into the kiss.

He placed his hands on her waist as she tangled her fingers into his hair.

To her surprise, his hair was really soft.

He pushed her backwards, onto the bed and lay atop of her.

She pulled away from the kiss, making Kiri whine.

"Kiri, I just wanted to let you know that we aren't going to be more than this"

"What is this?" He asked.

"I'm not sure"

"How about... Friends with benefits?"

"That's fine by me" she laughed and connected their lips once more.

His tongue swiped over her bottom lip, asking for access. She happily granted it and parted for him.

His tongue and hers battled for dominance, which he won. His tongue explored every part of her mouth.

She moaned into the kiss and lifted her hips to meet his.

He shivered and began to kiss down her neck, leaving small purple marks here and there.

She tugged on his shirt, asking for it to go.

He sat up and pulled off his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers.

Y/N's eyes scanned over his strong, muscular body. Down his chest, over his abs, and settled on the tent in his boxers.

She pulled off her shirt and shorts, leaving her in her bra and panties.

Kirishima smirked at the sight of her.

He leaned down and kissed the valley between her breasts, earning a moan.

He lifted her up slightly and unclasped her bra, and taking it off.

He licked and sucked her left nipple while his fingers teased the other.

"Kirishima~" she moaned.

"Call me Eijiro"

She nodded.

His free hand snaked down, between her legs and rubbed her bud through the material.

Her back arched at the sensation as she let out a shaky moan.

He pulled her panties aside and rubbed her bud.

"So wet already?" He teased.

"Only for you~" she responded.

He dipped his finger into her entrance. A long drawn out moan left her throat.

"Eiji, don't tease me"

He nodded and pulled her panties and his boxers off.

He looked around.

"Looking for this?" She smirked as she held up a fool packet.

"Yes"

He grabbed it and ripped open the foil.

He slid the condom over his length and lined up with her entrance.

"Wait Eijiro." She said.

He stopped and looked at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Th-this is my first time" she stuttered.

"I'll be gentle" he said and grabbed her hands. He lined up with her entrance again then locked eyes with her.

She took a deep breath and he slowly started to push in.

She winced in pain and screw her eyes shut as she felt him stretch her out.

Finally he stilled and she opened her eyes.

"Tell me when I can move" he said through gritted teeth.

After a few moments, she wriggled her hips and moaned.

Kirishima took that as a sign that he must move.

He started slowly at first, earning a few moans from the girl below him.

"F-faster" she moaned out.

He picked up his pace as he set a rhythm.

He coaxed moan after moan out of Y/N as he pounded into her.

"Bite me~" she said.

Kirishima lowered his head to the junction at her neck and bit down onto the sensitive skin.

Y/N moaned and she felt the knot in her stomach grow.

When he pulled away, he saw the perfect purple bite mark that he had left.

He sped up his pace, chasing both his and her release.

"I'm close" she moaned out and he grunted.

His hips snapped against hers at an inhuman speed and force.

"Cumming~" She just about screamed.

Her walls tightened around him as her release hit her, with Kirishima not far behind.

He released into the condom and flipped down onto her.

Y/N laughed tiredly.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing. I just can't believe I lost my virginity to one of the hottest boys in school"

"Oh, so you think I'm hot?" He smiled.

"Yup."

"Well, you're not so bad yourself" he said and pulled out of her.

She winced, catching the attention of a certain shark boy.

"Shit, sorry. Was I too ruff?" He asked as the threw away the condom.

"Nope. Just perfect" she said and covered herself with a blanket.

The bed dipped and then a strong arm wrapped around her waist.

"Goodnight" he whispered

"Night"

#kirishima #eijirou #kirishima eijirou #eijirou kirishima #kirishima x reader #eijirou x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #x reader #x reader smut #smut

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moirsvirtuesz · 6 years

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i can’t believe I'm still watching this mess: hot take on tessa and scott show- episode 3

(all of these are from messages to my canadian queen @buisnesspartners )

ok i had so many thoughts about this episode that everything is under the cut because it is so long... so strap in kids

i'm gonna start in like 10 min because im cleansing my soul by watching nathan chen and umbrellas

me switching my vpn to canadian:

— julia accidentally sent me a link to a betty crocker cooking video instead of a link to the episode—

thanks to julia i now know how to make Double Chocolate Mug Cake

honestly she was just trying to save me

ok now i’m starting

i want this recap guys voice to wake me up everyday and update me on what bullshit vm did while i was asleep

this intro... *deep sigh*

"scotts making a quick trip home to london" it starts…

"and i'm off to windsor where i'm in my third year of getting my psychology degree" yes t!! go get em!

fuck scott and his gf you are getting your education!

god i hate it but scott looks hot here

but scott don't use a normal knife for pumpkin carving you idiot! you use the use the ragged one that comes in the kit and it works better!

i'm only critiquing his pumpkin carving skills because i gotta focus on something else other than what him and cassandra are saying

scott needs to get it together

"i get like this during olympic year, i get grouchy" during just olympic year scott? i think its just you being in your mid 20’s

i can’t believe t dragged her poor friend into this

scott: *talks about how the stress is getting to him and how its real now* cassandra: “alright..."

scott looks more like death in the interviews in this episode than in the last episode

but he does not look as bad as he did in the first one

*tessa tells a cute story about seeing a cute guy and embarrassing herself* scott: *looks pissed*

scott stop being an asshole and be a good friend

stop making a big deal just because you don't like a band she likes

damn that pair skater has a rocking body though

yess tessa get this pair skater

THEIR TECHNICAL COACH IS NAMED JOHNNY JOHNS

THATS HILARIOUS

this guy is with marina??

somebody actually fucks marina??

and its a guy named johnny john...

smh marina i expected a russian body builder

these rap transitions are the only consistent good thing in this show

"fuck them" ok johnny john you have a point

"i hate it!" lol scotty

scotts lookin hot though

wait... his hotness just got ruined with that camera shot of him walking away in his oversized basketball shorts

tessa honey you look great in these interviews though

"she won't look at me" i wouldn't wanna look at you either scotty when you are acting like such a bitch

"when i was younger i had a temper" younger? yeah nah you still have it

ok but this show is def making them look worse than they are

i need to do a cleanse after this

"how are you feeling about that" lol kate trying to play therapist

FEDOR

FEDOR CALLING SCOTT SCOTTY HAHAHA

fedor: "you're trying too hard" *scott death glare*

also i could imagine russian marina looking at her son and being like "yes my darling you are my new 'footwork coach’”

"i need to blow off some steam" *goes to a place called paradise park*

CHIDDY AND SCOTT SUNGLASSES SLOWMO ENTRANCE IM CACKLING

omg patrick has a girlfriend in this one?

these producers need to get their shit together

if you're going to have fake scenes like chiddy and tessa being set up at least be consistent

*literal grown men playing with go-carts for 3 mins*

scott: "how's your girlfriend?" how are the producers this stupid that last episode they made it seem like scott was jealous of chiddy and now scotts literally asking about his girlfriend

kate: "you met the queen" ugh kate don't remind me of that terrible outfit

oh no a dinner scene with andrew and kaitlyn

"we just get along so well" lol @vm

andrew usually you are my ice dancing giant king but your hair looks so ugly in this

—also nobody @ me for that comment i’m not a fan of weapo or their skating but i am 5’10 and appreciate any semi-hot guy over 6 foot—

ok what is this house by the way?

like is it a restaurant or what?

this is def set up

god i hate them sometimes

"do you guys ever need space" andrew: “nah"

andrew just sounds like a nonchalant guy off an snl skit or something

"team canada baby" scott literally cringes at his own line

they all wanna die

tessa's ugly panda pj's are back!!

they have literally shown the same shot of them on opposite sides of the locker room with scott in a nike shirt like 10 times

lol at them trying to do a storyline and making scott to realize he was being an ass and need to support her

*marina russian voice* : "you have chemistry"

also lol at them playing a song with the words "chemical reaction”

aw this is sweet

its so fake the making up but still sweet

i cant believe i'm an emotional bitch

scott whispering to tessa "yes" was def fake or set up or put in post production but its still fucking me up

i'm jammin to these rap transitions now

"that's a lot of passion for 13 and 15.. what were our parents thinking letting us do those things" honestly the real question scotty was why did your parents let you do carmen and it be their fav program

kate that “he he he” is real creepy

am i emotionally ready for scott abs? no

oh HEY SCOTT ABS

he needs a tan because he literally has a pale body like a vampire

but i guess living your life in an ice rink and being cold hearted to tessa can do that to a man

"i'm a sucker for suspenders" bitch me too the fuck

suspender scott was my fav

haha scott likes the pants now!

"you look so much more beautiful than me" yeah i agree but you have a gf scott

scotts leaving and her little tear thing aw

oh fuck scotts hurt

JOHNNY JOHNS SHUFFLING OVER THERE TO HELP

"will scotts injury melt the ice between them" nice ending quote recap guy

Overall mood for this episode:

And:

#for the books #lindseys reaction to vm show #vm #tessa virtue #scott moir

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mybabbbbee · 5 years

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The firsts

First meetup: 7th July 2019. I was pissed off already abt alot of things and didnt at all wanna marry a doctor. Our conversation was very casual. I was the one who talked for the most part.

First time we sat together on one couch: 21st July 19 when it was our baat pakki ki rasm. I tried my best not to touch him.

First time i met him in niqab/on duty: 31st Aug 19 i was in my gynae OT and telling a friend abt how he is in anesthesia nowadays and yikes! There i saw him. He was soo focused on work. So i had to approach him and have a confused conversation. Later worry for 2 days doubting if he liked me or nah.

First gift: 11th Aug 19, we went to their place a day before Eid ul Azha. He had brought gucci perfume for me from Dubai. Mom also gifted him some clothes and a perfume.

First time i heard him play guitar: 11th Aug 19 everyone insisted him to do so. He played alot of songs out of which i knew some. GOT theme song, ab tou aadat si he, bachana were my fav.

First time he held my hand: 24th Aug 19 on our engagement when he held my hand to put the ring on. Lasted for barely 10 seconds and my hands were cold af.

First time he served me food: that too on our engagement. Served me rice.

First time he texted me on my number: 26th Aug 19 i asked aunty for more pictures and he texted me the link. And also asked me to thank ma pa for the watch. Also he made a laughing emoji at the end and i wanted to ask him does he laugh too 😯

First time i added him on snapchat: 28th Aug 19 cuz i was worried he isnt texting me. So he viewed all my stories hehe. And also posted his two days later. He has a score of 65 and i have 44k 🙄

First time i fantasized about him: 4th Sept 19 i was depresses bcs of messed up clg routine so i worked out and took a shower at midnight and afterwards just laid down naked in bed. And then i started thinking abt him and well that was my first orgasm right there.

First time we had a proper conversation: 5th Sept he was sick so i texted to wish him speedy recovery. Dont know if he was in a good mood or if he is always like this. We were talking abt our engagement and he said "tbh there was a lot to compliment" and afterwards he sent me a picture of us and said he liked it. He also asked me to meet him at clg. Not bad right? Couldnt stop smiling the whole time tho.

First time we added each other on facebook: 6th Sept. I set a condition that he'd put an engaged status. I thought he wouldnt but he did. He asked me to do the same too.

First time he made a heart in our conversation: 6th Sept when he called me Ms. SuperSweet. I havent made one yet.

First time he told me he gets horny thinking about me: 8th Sept the day we met and later that night he told me how crazy i make him go. And that he dreamt that we had a little pillow fight and ended up kissing. Gosh its getting hot in here. Also he started making kiss emoji. I havent yet 🤷‍♀️

First call: 15th Sept he was very worried if he'll be able to talk properly or not. It went well. Loved how he laughed.

First sexting: 15th Sept after the call he was soo in the mood so couldnt say no. Felt hot aff. Also had an orgasm.

First time he said 'i love you' on call: 21st Sept when i called him to say goodmorning and he was so caught off guard. And happy. It was a two minute call and i didnt realize he said it untill we dropped it. He said it again later that night.

First time he tagged me in a meme: 21st Sept. It was about money heist.

First time he called from work: 25th Sept. He had to call the night before but he was too tired he fell asleep..i was a lil pissed off so subah he called me from OT, there was some strike going on so he was free..and we talked for like 10 mins. I loved his voice.

First time i heard him having hiccups: 28 Sept we were on call he had a sore throat and then he started having them i made him drink water and distracted him and it worked. We talked for almost three hours.

First time we exchanged some naughty snaps: 1st Oct we were sexting on sc for the first time and i knew i couldnt control myself so i sent him some snaps of me with low neck where he could see my curves. He sent one out of shower too.

First time he snapped me his boner: 5th Oct we got rlly wild, he had two orgasms at night and then i woke him up with a nice bj and he cummed twice again.

First date: 9th oct it was a formal date awkward in the start but turned out to be great. He got me flowers and held the door for me and pulled the chair out, not in the start though but lol it was cute. We talked abt silly things and some serious ones. About making vows to each other. We laughed like mad and took some pictures. He got me gajras in the end and helped me wear them and then he held my hand and we kept it like that till the end. He teased me a lil and gosh it gave me butterflies for a moment. He makes me feel like im perfect, flawless.

First time we held hands: 9th Oct he got me gajras on out way back..then he helped me wear them and held my hand all the way back home..he tease my hand a little and made me crazy. So crazy.

First time we tried call sex: 12th Oct..not entirely though. We just stayed on call and heard each other moan..i felt more closer to him and God it was hot.

First time i wore black with him: 16th Oct it was our second date. He loved the attire, complimented me the whole time.

First song we listened to together: 16th Oct when he was driving me back he played laiyan laiyan and we both were totally in the feels. He said he might play it on our wedding.

First time we made a streak: 16th Oct we decided it on our date

First kiss: 24th Oct we were in car and just madeout for like 10 mins..it was good. Got me wet. Wanted to make his bday special.

First love note: 24th Oct gave him a funny bday card and a note along with it. I hope he likes it.

First birthday celebration: 26th Oct one day after his bday we had a fam dinner after which we cut the cake and i gave him shirts and a perfume.

First time i sat on his lap: 29th Oct he picked me up from a friends place and we were in the backseat making out..i humped against him the whole time.

First time somebody walked in on us: 29th Oct while making out a guard approached us but kher we ran away just in time. He was so concerned id be worried.

First movie we watched together: 30th Oct joker.

First time he felt my boobs from inside my shirt: 30th Oct on our last date before he went to rwp. I felt his cock up too.

First time he gave me a letter: 30th Oct. It was the best day.

First video call: Nov 11. During his 48hr long urology call.

First tcs: 7 Dec. He got his first pay so sent gifts for me.

First time we went shopping: 26 Dec. Got a gift for Abdullah's engagement. And for mama's bday. We both are so easy. Non picky.

First time i made him cum with hj: 26 Dec. He got sooo hot afterwards. He fingered me too.

First event we attended as a couple: 28th Dec. Abdullah's engagement. Although he wasnt there for the most part but i loved how everyone related me to him.

First time he fed me food: 24th Jan 2020 on our nikkah when i wasnt eating and saying i wont unless he makes me..so he did infront of everyone.

First time he gave me a shoulder massage: 24th Jan on our night date hehe

First long drive: 27th Jan had to go to my to be ghar met ammi had a sitting with my mua had lunch then and went back

First halal kissing: felt soooo goood with no guilt. Damnnn i love to kiss him so much. So much sawab loool

First hickey: 27th Jan he got a little hard on me when he was close to his orgasm..and i totally loved it

First time he sucked my nipples: 27th jan 🙈

First grocery shopping: 27th Jan he bought me stuff for my new washroom 😁

First rain date: 27th jan it rained the whole day ❤

First night together: 1st feb after my rukhsati. It was the most magical night and his touch felt soo goood. Sleeping naked with each other and teasing was such a turn on.

First time he served me food: 24th jan on our nikkah hen we were on stage and i couldnt eat bcs of my nails and then he made me.

First time i felt protected with him: 1st feb while our valima shoot was going on and the sun was getting on my face so he stood between me and the sun to put me in shade.

First night at my parents: 2nd feb after our valima. We opened our gifts played ludo and had aloot of fun in bed. Also went to fun city in my desi newly wed clothes.

First meal post-sex: 1st feb he made me a whole plate of biryani at 4am.

First time we ordered food in bed: 4th feb. The burgers were yummm

First time he did my hair: 5th feb while i was getting ready to go downstairs. He just loves side parting.

First time i cried infront of him: 6th feb i just missed my homies so much so i turned away and pretended to sleep and he found out i was crying and became mama bear. It was so good to be in his arms i wont choose another place to be at ever. Then i read their letters while he caressed me all this while.

First time we had real sex: 7th feb just a day before umrah. He was kind of worried he wasnt getting hard enough to go inside so he got some pills and then we did. It was painful for me but i just wanted to get over with this and it was a happy feeling to know we’re finally not virgins.

First oral: 1st feb on our wedding night. Probably the last too

First orgasm: 2nd feb and the following week was full of it

First umra together: 8th feb it was the best time together. How we did tawwaf and saee and made each other recite duas, prayed together, taught him how to bargain,ate alot of yumm food.

First time he made me watch ertugrul: 12th feb

First time he got me jellies: 13th feb while we were going for madinah ziyarat.

First stay away from home: 1st march i went to rwp where he was doing his hj. Got an army mess arranged for me. Stay was great.

First monal date: 3rd march weather was awesome altho he was a little pissed off at me asking to take pictures again and again.

First fight: 3rd march later that night he wanted to have sex but i wasnt wet enough and he started blaming me and saying ive turned him off. It made me cry and confront him abt his behaviour earlier too. He kinda took it seriously and kept saying sorry the whole time and also said “this is the first and the last time i made u cry”. We stayed up till late sharing our thoughts talking abt our future.

First friends hangout: 4th feb his room mate invited us for dinner. Pizza was good everything was until they started talking abt the ex idk why i felt bad. Didnt talk the whole way back.

First bday together: 20th march he gave me a surprise by coming straight from his call for a day.

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destiny-smasher · 7 years

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So I did the “get to know me” meme on Twitter but because of how Twitter functions now it’s a hard to follow mess of a thread. Decided to post it all here -- and hey, if any of ya’ll are curious, feel free to read.

1) When I was 10 my abusive stepdad threw a spray at me. I ducked -- it scraped my head. Sent to school bleeding b/c he was too stoned to realize it'd get noticed and I'd get pulled out of that environment immediately. This moment changed my life, left a scar on head.

If I hadn't ducked, would've hit my stomach. No cut. Whole childhood would've been different. My first Butterfly Effect Moment.

2) I started writing fiction about Pokémon. First-person, from the Mons perspective. Rotating point of view each scene.

3) I moved on to crazy crossover fanfic where I constructed an entire war, personal and political motivations, so many ideas I still like?

4) Part of this involved detailed drawings of Mario-themed Keyblades I wish I still had.

5) Paper Mario 1&2 are some of my most influential inspirations. expanded such a simple world so much so fluidly. (Harder than it looks)

6) When I was a kid my sister would wake me st like 6am to watch dubbed Sailor Moon. Bothered me they all sounded like same person.

7) I can recognize voices very well and even specific sounds and songs. Couple years back my roommate ran a test - playlist of 100 NES tracks, he'd play the first NOTE, singular, and I could recognize exactly where it was from if I'd played the game.

8) My first computer was a PC I bought w/$ saved up during an entire summer of custodial work in HS. Had no Internet.

So I'd use the public library's very slow connection to download things to floppy disk and copy them over.

Eventually, I was able to graduate to a USB. Obtaining music was hellish so I treasured each song I could download -- most from OC Remix.

9) We had this tiny rabbit ears TV that could get WB and Fox sometimes if it was set up in a specific corner of my sister's room

And so I would desperately use it to try and stay up to date on Pokémon and Digimon, it was so bad

10) Teen Titans was arguably the most influential piece of media for my teenage mind. It formed the base of so much I care about re:stories

Fleshed out, varied protags who grew together and each had their times to step up and step down. Action w/character dev context.

Fantastic themes important for growing humans; awesome moments "between the panels" instead of all comic book melodrama and action.

Then everything changed when TT GO attacked and pissed on everything smart and thoughtful because MONEYYYYY

11) Cowboy Bebop was the first "good" anime I ever saw and blew my mind open about what animated stories could do -- i.e. Not just kid stuff

I don't like "anime" in general because most of its common tropes but the shit out of me even worse than most western toon tropes

And yet like 50-75% of my most favorite shows ARE anime because thoughtful animated storytelling has so much potential.

11) I predicted months before Last of Us came out that you'd play as Ellie but when it happened I had to stop, cry happy tears.

I predicted the second I saw the Left Behind trailer what was going on w/those two and again, still had to stop and cry happy tears.

(I seem to have pretty good gaydar now but I also don't like, ship everyone together all the time)

It just hits me so hard when actual canon queerness happens in mass media and is done well, but we're still so bad at following through.

12) Favorite m/m ship: Troy and Abed in the Morning. Favorite w/w ship: Max and Chloe BFF Pirates 2008.

ATLA ships: Tokka the most, also Katang, also Smellershot. ATLA makes me more open to shipping than any other series?

Like, Zutara makes me feel kinda gross and some of the crack ships like Sokka/Azula scare me but otherwise I'm pretty chill w/ATLA ships?

13) When I was a kid, and we'd role play, I always wanted to play the girl characters. I was surrounded by boys so they always were weirded.

It was weird to me, too, honestly.

Now it makes perfect goddamn sense.

14) Apparently I was kidnapped as a baby by some mobster or something but it's hard to tell with my mom what's real or not.

15) Smash Bros. Melee was the first game I ever got genuinely hype over before launch. I still remember being startled to discover it --

-- existed via E3 trailer on GameTrailers back on my goddamn dialup connection in 2001. I had to wait all fuckin' day for that thing to load

And when it did, it was GLORIOUS (and had FZero music, which at the time I did not recognize) and I was FLOORED.

The screenshots made the game look too good to be real, and I was instantly sold on the GameCube, the first time I NEEDED new hardware Day 1

I got SSBM as an Xmas gift before my grandpa's GCN present arrived, so for a week or two all I could do was stare at the box/manual/disc

That game kind of changed my life -- SSB64 was the first time I'd gotten so invested in a multiplayer game, and SSBM crushed it.

A fire was born in me -- competition, something I'd never been much interested in w/games before, not against actual humans.

Those months between E3 2001 and finally getting to play SSBM felt like forever. And thus did I post online fiction for the first time.

That's actually how I met @SDiDuro , my first 'Internet friend' and what I'd consider to be my first proper 'reader.'

16) After college, I ended up working at a call center because it was the only job I could find and I needed to support my disabled wife.

DURING college, I gave up on writing fiction and had focused on gaming editorial through a site where I'd engaged with an online community

But that empty space between phone calls eventually got filled in by writing fiction on a notepad, with a pen, inspired by Street Fighter 4.

Eventually, this evolved and radically changed into what is now (still in dev) DownRight Fierce.

Back then, I had no idea I'd be motivated to DO this, though -- write original fiction -- but the fire had been re-lit.

I wanted to write.

I was sickened by my "naive" adolescence crossover fics and wiped them from my http://FF.net profile and started anew.

Having just come off of ATLA 1st time, I knew I wanted to explore that world/characters more, so I wrote a story about Toph & puberty.

That serving as "practice," I then went on to write SRU, and...well, that...changed EVERYTHING.

17) My biological dad (who I have never met) has OCD, to the point where he apparently washed his skin raw trying to avoid germs?

So as soon as I showed enthusiasm in gaming, my parents FREAKED and worried I was exhibiting OCD and they brought the hammer down.

They made me feel BAD for writing about video games when I wasn't playing them, but they never READ anything I fucking wrote.

Even now, my mom tries to comment on what a good writer I supposedly am, yet when I ask for her thoughts, I ask what she's read?

Silence.

I wasn't writing fiction based on games because I was THAT addicted to games.

I did it because a storyteller was awakening within me --

-- and I told stories through the worlds and characters I was familiar with.

(And my first genuinely "serious" fic was Teen Titans, anyway)

But even now, it really hurts that my parents will sometimes try to guilt me over not calling or whatever the fuck, when they never READ

never supported, and actively DISCOURAGED my writing, my storytelling, refused to understanding why I loved games.

18) I never watched Avatar until after college (years after it had finished), and I watched it because of the live action movie.

I watched halfway through the season 1 of the cartoon to get "read up" on it. Then the movie. Which was horrible. Then the rest of season 1.

At that point, the movie utterly baffled me. My wife and I proceeded to marathon the rest of the series. And it became my fav story ever.

But I ironically owe it to that terrible live action movie. ^_^;;

19) My taste in music is really weird. I couldn't tell you what my favorite genres are, and even fav musicians is hard.

Like, every year my top three fav musicians "change" because I just add more to the pile and spend the year focused on their music.

But music inspires my storytelling more than any other medium, I'd say -- in terms of me actually planning and growing ideas.

I didn't just give Nishiko and Seiko last names of my two fav game composers as tongue-in-cheek. In fact, that's not why I did it at all.

I gave them those names because I wanted some element of their very design to express how Japanese composers inspired me in my teen years.

#get to know me #personal

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psych-nightmare · 4 years

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no 2 reflections

I thought O was outside the ‘witches’ house with a monitor in his ear, weaing a suit.

I thought I went to his place when it was all the Chinese people and the guy who prayed for us. I thought he was too shy to come down the stairs to say hi. I thought David, Mary’s husband was filming/recording so O could see.

When that guy who prayed for me asked me to forgive everyone, I forgave O and I started coughing up some black/brown stuff. Pretty gross.

After we left that persons place we went to Olympic park. I thought I was going to my marriage w O. How ridiculous, looking back.

Once, I walked around the block 3 times and thought I heard God say if I did and pray for what I wanted I would have it. I prayed in tongues and thought some kids were following me, saying to their parents “we want to follow the teacher”. I stopped outside of Ron’s house and spat in the dirt and played with the mud with a stick (thinking of what Jesus did in the sand by drawing).

Easter day - Another time I skated to D (suburb) beach. I prayed by the lake there. I walked through the back there where the sand dunes were and I prayed in tongues. It felt like I was an Aboriginal person, before the settlement, speaking in their tongues. I was also walking funny like a horse or something. After a lot of prayer, worship and time spent in the word, I gathered up some courage. I said to one random couple “beautiful day the Lord has made”. I then started chatting with a lady who lived out of her van. She was in her 40s and was obviously a bit of a hippie, and “searching”. I gave her a word about feeling like she was searching for answers and told her that Jesus is the way, truth and life and shared some of my testimony with her. She was really touched and I prayed with/for her. I downloaded the bible app on her phone and told her to start reading. She said she felt like she was met by an angel. If this episode was just for her salvation, it would be worth it. Lord, I pray that she would have salvation and that your Holy Spirit will bring her to you. After that I went to some old man’s van where we watched the football game a bit and he gave me water. It could have been a dangerous situation, looking back. It is true that people with schizophrenia are more likely to be victims than perpetrators.

I was watching a lot of Steve Harvey at the time and I thought him and his crew were at/around my house. I thought they were setting me up with O. I was watching my friend’s instagram stories and somehow came to the conclusion that there was some party w O that i was supposed to go to. I thought steve’s video was talking to me - “put on something nice and go out” so i did. I put on my white mini skirt and white crop top and snuck outside. I went through the downstairs laundry and over the fence. I then waited outside my front yard for a bit, thinking steve or someone would come pick me up. I was shy, thinking i’d meet O. I then walked up the street and ended up in W + Tr yard. I heard some noises like a snake or cricket that i thought O was making the noises and hiding from me. I ended up chasing what i thought was him around and around the garden. I ended up in the back of their place. “The man cave” was where i thought O was hanging out. I thought Josiah, Leroy and a bunch of people were hiding inside, being really quiet and that i was supposed to find them. i kept knocking on the door, making beats, dancing and doing stretches like a back arch thing. I also started playing my “Jesus rap” from my phone and full on dancing/praying in tongues. I felt like i was like letting go of my ex (ST) spirit or something. It was so strange. I was like doing really primitive/tribal dances and felt like my steam be smoke that was rising. I ended up kneeling down at the door of the man cave with my hand on the bricks of the house praying “bless this man” thinking i was blessing/praying for O. I then wiped the sweat from my back and drew a cross on a bull’s skull thinking that Christ would resurrect dead things. I also thought that all the landscaping stuff was what O had prepared for me. I saw in the window of the man cave “things identified are of value” with lots of little things made inside, which again, I thought O had made for me. Then, the cops came. “Why are you here?” “Have you had anything to drink or any drugs tonight?” I answered shyly and shocked, with Tr on the balcony “they know me, they’re my neighbours”, “why are you here?” they asked, “it felt safe” i replied. They then asked me for my details and when they asked for my phone number I thought they were going to give it to O or they were flirting with me. There were two men. They insisted on walking me home. I said I could do it myself and that i just lived down the street a bit. They then spoke to dad and mum. i was so scared that i was in trouble that i went to downstairs big bed and curled up. Mum was really sweet and assured me that i was not in any trouble at all.

The next few days i noticed bruises on my biceps. i thought someone, O, had forcibly held me down. I remembered a strange memory that i thought had happened. I thought I had let O in that night and that he slept on the right hand side of me. I thought i had touched his upper body and his head rolled back and that he pounced on me and had sex w me hence the bruises. (i later got a pee test for pregnancy/stds). I watched some weird sermon that confused me further. it was saying some bible story in which a husband had to consummate the marriage by force and i thought that was what had happened. After the sex, i thought i was saying to O, it was all written long ago and i saw a scroll. i told him how we should’ve been married by Oct 21 last year (2018) so we could just have sex or whatever. I thought we were already spiritually married from that date.

I thought O lived downstairs, in the spare room and mum had made him promise not to see me and just to look after me. I remember looking downstairs a few times in the middle of the night, trying to find him. I thought our body clocks had synced up as i woke up in the early morning. I thought he was lying to the right of me in my single bed and i was stroking his abs (which was actually my mattress, lol). but he had to go to work early and i’d always miss him. I was getting frustrated that i never saw him. i’d miss him in the morning and i’d get ready early in the afternoon for him to come and take me to the movies or watch netflix with me in the living room. i asked dad if he could come over for dinner. i texted my friends (CB and JG) as though they were him and ended up in an awkward situation with a guy called Branden who i thought was O. My high school friend, CB, became concerned and confused as he started contacting her.

I thought O was at Lreef (suburb), wanting to see me. One night after bugger all sleep mum and i went to maccas. i remember a grey van in front of us wave their 4 hands out at the same time, thinking that was O and his friends. when we were driving my stomach hurt a lot when we went over bumps. It felt so uncomfortable. After, we drove past suburb C where gma lives (i thought i heard people saying it was my wedding or something) and then to LR (suburb) where i was texting O (who was actually Bran lol) asking him not to be shy and come to see me. I thought i saw him come out of a van with a beard and boner. i thought he had been living on the beach. i walked to the toilet and thought he followed me. but he didnt. i told him to come to the car to speak to me. he didn’t come.

Once, we were driving and the car in front of me was letting out feathers. Another time, i was driving past that field on the corner of Cro (suburb). and there was what looked like a veil go past the road.

Once we went to D (suburb) for a swim in the pool. We drove past the main part/street and i saw my grandma sitting on a chair w her head on her hand, looking hopeful. I did some laps in the pool, thinking O was watching/too scared/shy to say hi. i did some weird things like touch the numbers to make some sign like the song ‘countdown’ by Beyonce about “i’m tryna make a 3 from the 2 still the 1′ on the lane numbers.

We put curtains up in my room. felt like i was being strangled by them.

Once i wasn’t wearing a bra when sleeping. i thought dad came in and was trying to touch my face but accidentally touched my boob.s

really strange, thought my class came to my place and were standing outside my room. i told the girls to come in. i thought ishak was in my bed w a few other girls and i was showing them random stuff from the word? i think. and i was colouring and rapping random things. so strange, i know.

Downstairs, I was dancing/worshipping thinking that my phone camera was recording me and broadcasting me to a large church and i was like prophesying over people. i did this a few times, splashing coconut water around the mirror.

Mum and i walked at (colour) Hill. i thought i heard guys in the bushes. thought O was there saying things to me.

my aunty told me some story about someone - i thought it was about everyone - all my cousins and stuff at her place/my place and O stepped over Chloe w filth on him. i thought O and i had done sexual stuff and he was lying “like an african in his filth” - her words i thought.

mum and i went around near my fav lil beach - secluded i went there w my mums side cousins (suburb). i saw some massive house for sale and thought O and i had been out there cause of a music video i had seen. we saw some guy fishing and i said to mum “it’s time for me to catch my big fish”. at that wharf, some people got picked up by a boat and the guy who was driving the boat said “i have to make sure i get the right people”. i thought they were being taken to my wedding lol. i got annoyed w mum cause she didn’t bring her phone and couldn’t contact O who i thought she could contact for some reason.

i was praying heaps for some people to come and pray for me. I said to mum “the disciples are coming. u have to make sure u let them in”. I thought people were taking it in turns to pray for me outside my house in a van. I thought J (guy i used to like in HS) and J + J (youth pastors at ML) were taking it in turns there.

I also was playing music and i was like “i wish someone would play with me”. I thought O’s sisters were close - in the garage and going to come and play in a band w me.

at N. lake mum and i were sitting there. i thought O was behind me, too scared to make a move (bc i thought i would get engaged at the lake). I felt him have his hand on my back thru the chair, praying for me). and his friends encouraging him to see me. I thought i saw mila upstairs in a restaurant looking down judging me. she looked so evil. i was dancing there, “crushing satan under my feet”.

I once snuck out thinking O would find me and take me to BH (suburb) maccas. I was reading something in the word and got super excited and wanted to share it. i ended up walking to my aunties, thinking O may be there. i did it for “all the lost souls who had to take that path”. I thought O was outside saying “you made me so worried, you know”. I had some water at mindas and thought about turning it to wine lol.

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