#volo's just here because i fucking hate him

[mithryl-draws]

brought my long-suffering tabletop warlock Kalus with me when I started my BG3 playthrough and he's having a great time. making lots of new friends. sticking worms in his brain. the usual.

#mithrart #dungeons and dragons #kalus van haaden #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #karlach #lae'zel #volo #this is my party setup atm btw #i love wyll and gale and shadowheart dearly but #astarion is my boyfriend and i need him with me #and i need the two largest women on either side to keep us safe while we kiss and/or stab each other #its simple math really #volo's just here because i fucking hate him #the people up top are Kalus' partymates from the Actual Campaign hes from btw. in case you were curious

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale #gale of waterdeep #astarion #gale dekarios #laq talks #I talk #she stares at me real hard after she makes a choice too #like squinting to see if my expression gives anything away #if it was a good or bad call #I keep my face blank as shit it’s hilarious #I have not told her I’m writing fanfic for this game #nor will I ever #jesus christ

[vixstarria]

Seeing stars

Welp, I wrote more porn.

Astarion x F!Tav/F!Reader

18+, smut, porn with plot, porn with feelings, jealous Astarion, soft dom Astarion, dirty talk, fingering, PIV, elf ears and more! Humour, banter and fluff mixed in per usual. Tav failing several insight checks in the process.

I also poke fun at the in-game romance mechanics, and Wyll's Act 2 scene in particular.

This is the last time they have sex before the "I want us to be something real" conversation.

Approx. 2,900 words

“You won’t believe the ludicrous encounter I just had with Wyll.” 

You burst into Astarion’s tent. Well, it was ‘Astarion’s’ tent only notionally at this point. Yours still stood, but it now served solely as storage space for your assorted junk. You had effectively moved in with Astarion, having first coerced him into replacing the wooden plank and bloodstained rags he slept on with some sensible rugs and blankets. 

Astarion lounged half-naked on one of the bedrolls, reading something by candlelight. 

“Oh?” he looked up at you. “Do tell.” 

“First the massage you promised earlier,” you said sinking down onto the floor of the tent and stripping off most of your clothes. “My back is killing me after carrying everyone all day.” 

“Oh please...” he rolled his eyes. “I recall you nearly walked into your own cloud of daggers, again, and would have if I hadn’t pulled you away in time. And then you blasted Lae’zel off a cliff. It’s a wonder we haven’t kicked you out yet.” He shook his head. “And if you’re carrying anyone, I’m the one carrying you.” 

Still, he sat up as you laid down on your stomach.  

“Who do you think you’re fooling with this modesty, darling?” he murmured, noticing that you’d kept your underwear on. “Just lose it now,” he added, as he slid it off, leaving you completely naked, before he settled over you, his fingers commencing work on your shoulders. “So what happened with Wyll?” 

“I was making my way back here, and found him... performing some kind of jig by the campfire, pretending like he didn’t know I was there.” 

“The ‘Blade of Frontiers’, dancing alone in the middle of camp?” Astarion snickered. “Did you mock him? Please tell me you mocked him.”  

“Well... I was going to, but then he asked me to dance with him, very earnestly.” 

“That scoundrel...” he mused. “And let me guess - you agreed, didn’t you?” 

“Oh trust me, at that point it would have been more awkward not to dance with him, I had to play along.” 

Astarion scoffed, with a chuckle. 

“Do you always go along with whatever people want from you just because it would be too awkward to say no?” 

"I try not to – last time I did, I ended up with a vampire who won’t stop sucking me dry,” you deflected. “I figured there was no harm in indulging him. Besides, I don’t see you dancing with me. It was kind of nice,” you teased. 

“I hate dancing,” he said. 

“Right,” you said. “I’m sure you hate dancing just as much as you hate poetry, flowers, art, cats... What else?” 

“Children,” he answered. “I also can’t stand children.” 

“No, that one I could see being true,” you grinned. 

“So anyway, you two dolts pranced around the fire to the sound of crickets, then what?” 

“And then he tried to kiss me,” you admitted, with a sigh. 

Astarion’s hands paused for a moment before resuming their work, slightly harder than before. 

“Well look at you, receiving the Duke Ravengard’s heir’s attention. Moving up in the world, hmm?” 

“I didn’t let him.” 

He laughed. 

“Is there even a single person left in camp that hasn’t tried to get into your pants, darling?” 

You had to think for a moment.  

“Are we counting Volo?” 

“Sure.” 

“Then just Karlach and Withers.” 

“Gods, I fucking love Karlach,” he murmured. “Don’t tell her I said that.” 

“Why? Getting jealous all of a sudden?” 

Astarion was silent for a few moments. 

“I just don’t understand it,” he said. “You’re with me every night. I’m at your side every day. They see us. They hear us. Still, they don’t take me – or you and me – seriously. Tell me, is there something about me that screams: ‘Please, go ahead and take my lover for yourself. Come on in and snatch her right out from under me, I don’t mind’?”  

Perhaps you’d made a bad judgment call when you thought Astarion would find the absurdity of the situation humorous rather than offensive. Still, you had to bite your cheek to keep from laughing at the dramatics he added to the delivery of the last few lines that left his mouth. 

“Stop laughing,” he said.  

“I’m not laughing,” you laughed.  

“I can feel your back muscles twitching in your efforts.” 

“Well, they’re aware this all started as a joke. Perhaps they never realised that it’s long stopped being one?” you offered. 

Astarion’s hands had been moving lower and lower along your back. They had now reached your ass and continued to rub, stroke and squeeze, as you let out a soft groan. 

“That’s not my back, Astarion.” 

One of his hands kept squeezing an ass cheek, while the other dipped to stroke you between your legs. He gave a satisfied hum when two of his fingers entered you effortlessly. 

“Maybe if they could see how wet I can make you just by rubbing your back they’d reconsider how much of a joke this is,” he said, his voice low. He continued to pump his fingers in and out – you were almost embarrassed by the loud squelching sounds that came out of you. You moaned and tried to lift your hips higher, but your legs were encased between his thighs, pinned down on the bedroll. “Do you think you’d be reacting this way to young Ravengard, darling?” 

“Stop it,” you hissed. “You know I don’t want anyone but you.” 

“Stop?” he pulled his fingers out, to your dissatisfied whine. You looked back to see him studying your slick on his fingers. “I should go smear this on his face right now... The audacity to try to get his hands on what is not his.” He licked his fingers clean instead. He turned his attention back to you.  

“Maybe if you were more vocal about your devotion to me the others wouldn’t make these mistakes.” 

His hand returned between your legs, spreading your wetness and slipping lower to tease your clit.  

“I could be... encouraged... to be more vocal about it,” you breathed, trying to grind against his hand.  

“Yes... I should make you scream my name, so they all know who you belong to.” 

His fingers returned inside you, teasing you with shallow strokes.  

“You can try,” you taunted him. 

Astarion let out an indignant huff and shifted to spread your legs open with his knees, simultaneously placing a hand on your back to firmly hold you down. You expect to feel his cock enter you, but he continued to stroke you with his fingers, turning his hand to curl them downwards.  

“Is that a challenge, darling?” he asked, his voice dangerously low. “You should know better by now than to bet against me,” he said, continuing to flex his fingers inside you. 

It started off pleasant enough, but rapidly grew into... more. And more. You weren’t sure what he was doing but whatever it was, it was just about making you see stars. 

You sputtered as the new sensation started to take hold of your whole being.  

“Ast… what..”  

You couldn't manage anything coherent, as his fingers continued to dig into you, gradually picking up speed and pressure. You started to squirm to try to get away despite yourself, but he simply put more weight against the hand on your back, securely pinning you to the bedroll. 

“Always getting yourself into situations you're not prepared for…" he murmured. "You're not talking your way out of this one.”

His fingers were relentless. You were worried you really would scream and wake everyone in camp. All you could do was bite down on the pillow, hoping that it would muffle your drawn-out moans. 

“Let go, darling... I know you want to.” 

It's not so much that you let go – rather, all your decorum was ripped from you, as your muscles convulsed, the orgasm rolling through your entire body. You panted and shuddered, trying to keep quiet, your hands clutching desperately at the covers beneath you, trying to hold on to anything like your life depended on it. 

Once the feeling subsided, you came back to your senses to find Astarion hovering over you, kissing the back of your neck and shoulders, grazing them with his fangs, almost but not quite hard enough to draw blood. You felt his erection rubbing against your hip. 

“Has anyone fucked you like this before?” he whispered hoarsely into your ear, his breath ragged from his own arousal. “Tell me.” 

“No,” you gasped, trying to catch your own breath.  

“I thought so,” he whispered with a smile, kissing your neck before he sat back up. 

You turned back to look at him over your shoulder. He watched you with a self-satisfied grin, his fingers returning to stroke you lightly between your legs once more. 

“Do you want me to do it again?” he purred. 

A part of you wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face after what he just put you through. Another, much larger part, wanted nothing more than to submit yourself to whatever he would do to you.  

“Yes,” you admitted sheepishly. 

“Turn around...” he narrowed his eyes mischievously. “I want to see your face this time.” 

You flipped around onto your back, under his watchful gaze. His eyes never left yours as he stroked your slit, teasing your engorged clit with his thumb, before his fingers slipped back inside you. 

You found yourself mewling in anticipation before he really even started doing anything.  

“So eager,” he smirked. “So wanton...” 

He curled his fingers again, moving his whole hand to mercilessly claw into a sweet spot you didn’t even know existed inside you.  

You tried to relax into and accept this sensation, now that you were familiar with it. A growing pressure kept building at the bottom of your stomach. It was too much. It was entirely too much. You couldn’t take more of it. You couldn’t- 

“Let go, I’ve got you...” His whisper sounded so tender in sharp contrast to the depraved way he was handling your body. 

You sobbed as what you hoped was cum gushed out of you, your legs quivering.  

“Good girl”, Astarion laughed with glee, bending down to place a kiss on your lips, continuing to stroke you lightly, “Your body reacts so perfectly to me... Do you want more?” 

“You... I want you...” you groaned, biting his lip. 

“If that’s what my good girl wants,” he purred, discarding what was left of his clothes.  

You groaned as his cock entered you, rocking your hips against his, trying to find that feeling again. 

“So wet and needy for me...” he goaded you. “I’ve completely ruined you for anyone else, haven’t I?” 

He held absolutely nothing back as he fucked you, lewd insistent sounds of skin slapping on skin combined with your shared grunts and moans disturbing what was likely otherwise a silent night. 

“Anyone awake knows exactly what I’m doing to you right now,” he rasped, voice thick.  

Your walls clenched at the thought, making him shudder and sigh as well. 

“You like that thought, don’t you..? I know you do,” he continued. “So shameless...” 

Despite yourself, you whimpered, clenching again as another orgasm started threatening to overtake you. 

“That’s it... Come for me again,” he groaned. “Come for me, my love.” 

‘My love’..? Just a figure of speech, you thought. You’d thrown that phrase around, jokingly, but it’s never sounded so... raw. You wanted to hear it again. You wanted to keep hearing it.  

“Your what?” you gasped.  

He didn’t answer. Instead he caught your lips in a deep, devouring kiss, pinning your arms over your head.  

Your body gave in and you trembled under him, caught up in waves of pleasure again.  

He released your arms and eased his movements once you rode out your high, but kept kissing you, hungrily, unwilling to release your lips from his.  

Clearly, no further words of love would follow, you thought to yourself with a tinge of both relief and disappointment, deciding to let it go. 

“You’re so good to me,” you managed, breaking your lips from his. 

“Aren’t I just?” he groaned, speeding up again to chase his own release.  

You kissed your way up his jaw to his ear, pausing to nibble on his earlobe.  

You couldn’t see it, but a ditsy, open-mouthed smile started to play on his face. 

Astarion gasped with a sharp intake of breath as you continued further, running your tongue over the inside of the shell of his ear. 

“Oh sweet hells,” he sighed with pleasure, immediately grinding into your harder. 

You smiled as he tilted his head, just about pressing his ear against your lips. 

“Do you like that?” you whispered in his ear, running your tongue over it again, lifting your hands to run your fingers through his hair. You knew he did. You just wanted to hear him say it.  

“Yes... Don’t stop...” His words sounded like a desperate plea. 

You continued to gently nibble on the edge of his ear, soft moans escaping you from his movements. 

“That’s it, take what’s yours” you groaned, as his hips crashed into yours harder. 

His breathing and movements were becoming more and more frantic.  

“Astarion...” you whispered, grazing the shell of his ear with your lips. 

He let out an uncharacteristic whimper, all his usual composure slipping from him, as he bucked his hips, fucking you with quick, shallow thrusts.  

“My sweet...” you breathed against his ear. 

He came completely undone, spilling into you with forceful, jagged thrusts, before finally stilling. His whole body seemed to melt into yours as he stayed on top of you, trying to regain his breath. 

You wrapped your legs around his hips, not wanting to let go of him yet, but he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to lift himself from you either. Instead he trailed light, tender kisses from your neck up to your lips.  

You delicately traced the contours of Astarion’s face with your fingertips, running them from his cheekbone down to his jaw, as he leaned into your caress, gazing into your eyes.  

Astarion parted his lips slightly, as though to say something, only to seal them again. He tilted his head to kiss your knuckles as your fingers gradually made their way back up, to run through his hair. Eventually he spoke. 

“You would really choose me over the more... blatantly obvious options you have at your disposal here?” he asked quietly.  

“Haven’t I made that abundantly clear already..?” 

“Well of course you have – no one else is this good,” he said with a tired smirk. 

“I’m not talking about the...” you blinked. “You know I’m not with you just for the sex, right..?” you frowned, looking into his eyes. 

He looked away, slipping out of you and moving to lie down next to you.  

“Is that so?” he said softly.  

You found yourself suddenly feeling rattled. Was he simply fishing for compliments again, or had you been utterly oblivious to just how deep his insecurities ran this whole time..? 

“You have a wealth of other qualities that I... enjoy and appreciate,” you said, somewhat lamely.  

Astarion propped his head up on his hand and raised an eyebrow at you quizzically. There was a hint of vulnerability in his eyes despite his outward nonchalance.  

Oh for fuck’s sake, you thought. I’m not ready for any serious conversations now, especially not with cum running down my thighs.  

You turned away to grab something to wipe yourself down with. 

“A gentleman would clean up his own mess, by the way. Not one of your strong points. But you do have some virtues that make up for it. For instance... I can leave cheese unattended around you, knowing you won’t eat it.” 

Astarion went to pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing.  

“You’re a treasure trove of useless information,” you continued. “But unlike some of our companions you usually keep it to yourself.” A hint of a smile played on his lips at that.  

“Your hand feels nice and cold on my forehead when I have a headache.” You laid back down next to him, mirroring the way he was lying. 

“You always smell nice, especially for a dead guy. You never hog the mirror.”   

“What about my hair, won’t you mention that?” he smiled. 

“No, fuck your hair, it makes mine look awful in comparison.”  

He chuckled at that. 

“I do rather adore the garnet puppy eyes though,” you murmured. “What else... You make me laugh, and, more importantly, I make you laugh – which is great for my ego,” you continued.  

“As long as you understand that I’m usually laughing at you,” he countered. 

“Prick... Then there’s the fact you’ve saved my life four times.”  

“Seven,” he said quietly, looking into your eyes.  

“Five.”  

“It’s seven, dear, I counted.” 

“Whatever. When it comes to battle, you’re silent but deadly,” you said. “Like a-” 

Astarion’s hand covered your mouth.  

“Do not finish that thought, darling.” 

You grinned from behind his palm.  

“I think we can be done with this conversation,” he said.  

“Wait, wait, one more...” you laughed. “You’re eccentric, unpredictable, often irrational. I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.”  

You smiled as Astarion groaned dramatically, covering his face with one hand.  

“Knowing I’ll get to spend another day in your mad company gives me a reason to get up in the morning,” you added, softly. 

“Come here, you sweet fool,” he whispered, drawing you against him.  

You hugged him tightly. It took so long for him to start initiating these embraces that wouldn’t lead to sex... You relished each one.  

Tomorrow, Astarion thought to himself, unbeknown to you. I have to tell her tomorrow.  

~~~~~

Follow up bonus scene

This work is part of a series - here is the master list

Next in series - Confession

AO3

Tags: @littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny @spunky-89

@spacebarbarianweird @kittenintheden - hey, I heard you like elf ears

#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 smut #astarion smut #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfic #astarion romance #bg3 fanfiction #astarion fanfiction

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Wondered if I Could Come Home? (Astarion x Pregnant F! Reader) MDNI 18+ Part 2

CW: Smut, insecurities, pregnancy sex, PIV

Tag-list: @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @starstruck-mj-writings @divineknightmare

Part 1 is on my Masterlist :)

This is unedited because I’m tired 😂💜

Photo belongs to @cheekylittlepupp on Tumblr

“These are all truly terrible options, Darling,” Astarion whispers into your ear, “I feel like putting anyone in this should be considered abuse.”

You try and fail to suppress the laughter- covering your mouth with your hand when another woman shoots you a glare. You should regret dragging Astarion in here, but you don’t. He’s right- this place has absolutely nothing adorable and you hate shopping here. You are very happy he shares the same sentiment.

This was an unplanned stop in the grand scheme of the evening. Astarion had insisted on taking you on a date the moment you woke up this morning. When you went to protest and say, “I look like a beached whale, no”- you were thoroughly kicked by Eowyn.

You picked the name Eowyn together a little over a month after Astarion first arrived. It’s almost month 7 now and although Astarion missed out for a few months- your daughter and him are already peas in a pod.

You disagree with Astarion? Kick. If you pick a book that doesn’t interest him? Kick. You get hormonal, angry, and Astarion sounds even slightly sad? You bet you are gonna be running to the bathroom to throw up. She’s a spiteful fucking kid and you cannot catch a break. You are the one carrying her and yet!

You suppose you can’t blame her though. You don’t want to give him any reason to leave anymore than she does. You know Astarion won’t leave again, but that worry is also silently there.

“Darling,” Astarion whispers, “come look at this atrocity.”

Astarion scrunches up his nose and picks up one of the other baby outfits. He looks at you with a “really?” and shows you a piece of fabric fashioned into a onesie with “Selune Loves Me”. You don’t even bother to suppress your snort of laughter.

“I have a horrible feeling that Shadowheart will be buying that for Eowyn,” you sigh.

“Oh no- not if I can help it!” Astarion puts the onesie back (he even folds it), “our kid is going to be a raging atheist and I will have it no other way!”

“And if she decides to be a cleric or a paladin?”

Astarion grumbles a “well that’s different” under his breath. He opens the door for you and bows dramatically as you walk through it. Astarion’s smile is brighter than the sun when you giggle.

“I’m glad you are willing to support all possible life paths, Star,” you tease.

“I will eventually convince her to change her mind,” he muses, “we’ll begin putting swords and instruments in front of her and hope she turns out better than Volo.”

You huff at him and roll your eyes. He intertwined his fingers with yours and you continued the rest of your date.

***************************

You are laying in your bed- remaining absolutely still. Astarion seems like he is still sleeping?

Whatever sick fuck keeps adding spice into your life, has gifted you an incredibley real sex dream with Astarion. Again.

You told yourself you were going to behave- certainly not because you want to. It’s out of respect for Astarion and his boundaries. You don’t know what he’s been up to or if he would even want to while you look like this.

Oh wonderful- tears.

The hardest part of this whole pregnancy nonsense is that you don’t feel good about yourself or how you look. You didn’t necessarily have the best self esteem to start with, but your body changing in front of you almost every day wasn’t helping. You know your hips have gotten slightly wider and your breasts have gotten bigger. You try to be active as much as possible so you feel some control and you eat as healthy as you possibly can without lacking nutrients, but none of it felt like enough. You feel disgusting.

Your silent tears fall down your cheeks as you suppress your pitiful sniffling. If you close your eyes, you’ll eventually fall asleep. That’s what you usually do and that’s what you did when Astarion was gone. Sleep heals everything.

Maybe your body has finally had enough of pushing all of the discomfort back. All those feelings of being unwanted, unloved, and not like yourself are ripping you apart at the seams as they rush to your eyes.

You begin to move away from Astarion- deciding it would be better for you to sit in your little rocking chair and read for a bit. There is no reason to make yourself upset over something you can’t change. Your pregnancy will be over soon enough anyhow.

“Darling?”

Astarion’s voice pierces the silence and his fingers are clinging to your shirt as if to keep you there.

You clear your throat, “yes my Star?”

“Where are you going?”

Astarion sounds incredibly worried. It’s been hard for him to see you when you are sick or when you are obviously picking yourself apart in the mirror. Astarion is constantly worrying about your vertigo and you walking around without him or Shadowheart to catch you.

You told him that his worry isn’t necessary and that you would let him know if you were feeling dizzy or like you were going to pass out. You don’t want to bring harm to yourself or your child.

“I know you know your body, Darling,” Astarion says with his shoulders slumped and a slight frown on his lips, “I have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do, but please, my Love. I just found you again. I can’t even fathom the idea of-“

Astarion had broken down sobbing, then you began to cry, and then Eowyn was kicking so you caved and promised to let him know if you were leaving the room.

You roll over to look at him and his eyebrows raise in alarm. You hastily run the tears away and smile.

“I was just going to sit on the rocking chair.”

Astarion just squints at you and you avoid his gaze- looking up out the window.

“The moon is very pret-“

“Tav, why were you crying?”

Dammit. It’s the “I’m serious” Astarion voice.

“Oh uh,” you chuckle awkwardly, “I just had an interesting dream and it led to interesting thoughts- then TADA pregnancy hormones.”

Astarion flashes you a teasing smile before ghosting his lips over yours.

“Oh I am very aware of these ‘interesting’ dreams of yours, Darling. I’ve been waiting for you to finally ask me to re-enact a few.”

Your heart stops momentarily and you blink a couple times. There is no way you heard that correctly. You begin to tear up and Astarion’s brows furrow in concern.

“You don’t want that,” you say in a low voice, a stray tear rolls down your cheek, “I look disgusting.”

His lips are on yours in an instance- a whimper leaves your lips as you feel a warm stirring between your legs. It’s almost embarrassing how desperately your body wants him- craves him. Being kissed like this by him again is a blessing.

“I wish you would stop trying to guess what I want when it comes to you,” he sighs against your lips, “and I wish you could see how beautiful you are- all the time.”

“My body has just changed so much- to me anyway,” you whisper, “I worry that I’m not attractive to you anymore.”

Astarion grabs your hand with his and guides you down to the front of his underwear- opening your hand so that you palm against his erection. You blush furiously when he forces your eyes to meet his with his other hand. His pupils are blown wide with lust.

“Does it feel like I’m not attracted to you anymore?”

“No,” you whisper shyly.

“I want you desperately,” he places a chaste kiss on your lips, “As I always have.”

You feel embarrassed by the sigh of relief that leaves your mouth upon his confession. You want to be with him this way so badly it hurts. You hesitantly wrap your leg around his hip and you pull him in for a kiss.

Astarion’s lips are soft against yours. You keep a slow pace- unsure of how far he would be willing to go.

You find out pretty quickly when you feel his hands find your underwear- tearing away the fabric completely. You pout against his lips playfully.

“I liked those.”

“I’ll buy you a thousand more pairs, my Love.”

“But-“

The breath leaves your body when you feel his fingers begin to play with your clit. Astarion roughly presses the pads of his fingers against your clit- the additional friction making you keen in pleasure.

Astarion starts to pull away and your hands find purchase in his hair- pulling him back to you. Your desperation spurs him on and your lips are crashing against each other at a fast pace.

You feel him pull you back by your hair, making you look at him- you open your mouth to protest, but then you feel one of his fingers slide into you. Astarion pushes himself all the way into you with his finger until his palm is teasing your already sensitive clit. He must realize how ready you are for him because he enters a second finger and then a third shortly after.

The feeling of his fingers inside of you are intoxicating and the way he is looking at you is even more so. Your moans are on display for him to see- Astarion’s hand in your hair has yet to loosen as he finger fucks you relentlessly.

“So good, so perfect,” he says, “and I’m the only one who will ever have the pleasure of breeding you.”

Astarion’s words rip something inside of you open- you begin to clench around his fingers hard as your climax sinks into your body. His name falls from your lips like a prayer.

It probably is- if you are being entirely honest to yourself. Astarion looks ethereal under the moonlight that floods the room. His curls are mussed up a bit from sleep, his lips turned upward and slightly parted as he watched you be overtaken with pleasure.

Astarion leaves a chaste kiss on your lips and moves your hair out of your face. He sits up and pulls you onto his lap and traces the veins in your neck down to your collarbones. His hands meet in the middle to unlace your shirt all while making eye contact the entire time.

“Gods,” Astarion whispers as he kisses down your chest, “you are exquisite, my Love.”

You must have forgotten what it was like to be under Astarion’s lustful hands and loving gaze. Your dreams were nowhere like this.

You whine at the skin contact and you feel yourself clench around nothing. The feeling of his cold fingers running along your skin- how they tease and pinch your sensitive nipples. Astarion’s word of praise alone are enough to get you off.

“So needy.”

Astarion takes one of your sensitive nubs into his mouth- sucking and grazing it with his fangs. His other hand begins to trail downward as grinds his erection up into your unclothed, soaking folds.

“Have you missed me, Darling?” Astarion coos, “has no one else been able to make you feel this way since I’ve been gone?”

You know exactly what he is asking.

“Yes,” you say breathlessly, “because my hands are nowhere as skilled as yours.”

Astarion’s laughter fills the air and your body with joy. His hand moves to release his erection from his underwear. You gasp at the sight and your hand immediately goes downwards- you feel him growl against your breast when you swipe your finger through some of his precum.

You look down and his eyes are on yours as you put your finger between your lips, licking it clean.

Astarion moves his attention from your breasts- pulling you by your hair down to his mouth so he can taste himself on you. The other hand lines him up with your entrance before pulling you down by your hips at the same time he thrusts upward.

You see stars as Astarion grazes that perfect spot inside of you. His hands had untangled from your hair a while ago, both of his hands guiding your hips down so that you continue to take his full length.

“Astar- I’m going to- fuck,” you cry out as his fingers find your clit again.

“You are going to what, my Dear? I’m afraid I didn’t catch that,” he says teasingly, his thrusts getting sloppier as you clench harder and harder.

“I- I,” your eyes roll in the back of your head as you pitch forward, putting your face in the crook of his neck. Your moans reverberate through the room- your voice is almost guttural from the intense amount of pleasure you are experiencing.

Astarion’s orgasm followed yours quickly- his moans coming out ragged and incoherent as he fills you to the brim with his seed.

You kiss his cheek, along his cheek bone, and then back until you are in the crook of his neck again.

“You are the most incredible woman I have ever had the privilege to lay eyes on,” Astarion says fondly, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Star,” your blissfully fucked body relaxes against his.

You don’t remember when you began to fall asleep or when Astarion repositioned you so that you were spooning. The only thing you can recall is Astarion kissing your shoulder, neck, and behind your ear while whispering his gratitude and love for you into your skin.

#astarion x female reader #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x you #astarion romance #astarion x tav #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #karlach #pregnancy #Astarion x pregnant reader #astarion x f!tav #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x f! reader #astar

[fave-fight]

ROUND 2, MATCH 33

NO MAGIC, POWERS, WEAPONS, OR ADDITIONAL HELP FROM OTHERS

Volo:

“Peopel want to think he’s buff as if he isn’t a fucking twig look at his model”

“He loses to the player character in a pokemon fight, and player character is like 15 years old - and this is with him getting 8 pokemon when you include Giratina stage 1 and 2. If you took away the pokemon and made him fight with his fists he would still probably lose because he has wet cat energy. Talks big game but can't always follow through with the threat type vibes.”

“He could stab everyone with his hair”

Jonathan Sims:

“It would be really funny if he and Jonah Magnus both got in so John could literally strange his boss to death. That would be so much fun. He should lose to everyone else tho bc he is doomed by the narrative to always take the L”

“Listen. Listen this is a fistfight, im not sure if his all knowing fear god bullshit powers will work here. If he can’t smite people. If he can’t Know things about them and scare them to death. If it’s just a fistfight of pure ability. He is going to get beat up so badly but I think he’ll live. Jon’s sturdy. He had a rib taken out. Was kidnapped and forcibly moisturised by an evil ringmaster puppet. He is… the fandom interpretation is that he’s skinny. Thin. His boyfriend is the strong one. Jonathan Sims would probably lose in a fistfight -he’s Just A Guy without the antichrist shit- but it would be so fucking funny. He might win. He might lose. It’s 2:18 AM here and I cannot sleep.”

“He has an endless supply of disdain and is so willing to use it Especially if there's Martin He HATES Martin Martin can do no good Let me tell you, that Martin... Wait, where'd you go?”

#fight fight fight #round 2 #poll tournament #tournament poll #poll #polls #volo #volo pokemon #pokémon #jonathan sims #the magnus archives

[onestepbackwards]

Consider

Self aware au, but the player continously refers to the hero as their child. It's absolutely something I'd do

When reader gets pulled into the game, hero is calling them a parental term of some sort. I imagine the aware characters having interesting reactions to that.

Laventon is over the moon, he already calls the hero "my girl/boy" so it makes it even better for the God of this world to do so.

Ingo has a breeding kink, so of course he adores it. Makes him think of a domestic life with their God

Volo is shitting himself. You're telling him he almost killed the child you consider to be your child. *fuck,shit,fuck* cue a sobbing apologizing Volo on his knees. He'd be begging for forgiveness.

However you ignore him, giving him pat on the head, saying that you'd deal with him later. You have a bigger issue to deal with

Kamado

Combine this with any of the other aus, perhaps the 30 ft tall one, and it gets so much better. =)

(Been hanging around here for a bit. Finally worked up the courage to send in something. Could I be known as Witch Anon?)

Welcome on in Witch Anon! Good to see you! （＾∀＾●）ﾉｼ Honestly, I would adopt Akari/Rei. They deserve the best, especially after everything they’ve been through. I would throw hands.

Imagine, you get pulled into the game, you wake up with the hero above, concerned. Understandably, you are distraught and confused. They try and calm you down, and what catches your attention, is when they seem to cling to you. They tell you they have heard you this whole time, and have felt safe in your presence. You guide them, and try your best to keep them and their team happy and healthy. They didn’t mind someone taking control every so often, and were quick to figure out their world was a game to someone else’s. But they knew you were on their side, especially when you spoke up for them whenever something bad happened. They knew no matter what, you were in their corner. Especially when you started calling them your child. You cared for them more than any person here. So when they saw you laying on the ground, they immediately knew who you were. They had to protect you until you woke up, like you had protected them. You both discuss what to do from here, and they insist on taking you in as their guardian. You’re a little taken aback, but accept none the less. You did care for them, and you would protect this child with your life. Even if they ended up doing most of the protecting. It’s okay though, they are happy protecting you after all you’ve done for them. They insist on coming with you everywhere you go, and being there to protect you. Especially if you want to go see the village. You wonder why, but then they tell you it’s because of how the others may react to you. Others? That has you curious. The hero explains that the others are somewhat aware of your existance. Your voice, your face, all of it. Whenever the game was on, they’d either hear you or see you. You don’t know how to process that information. Other characters were also aware? They heard you, and some saw you? You feel your face flush. Oh god these people heard you, and all the dumb shit you’ve said. You hoped they didn’t hate you, and told the hero as such. They smile and shake their head. “No, they don’t hate their god. At least I don’t think so?” You stop mid step. A God? You ask for clarification. The hero looks at you, confused. They’re talking about you, silly! Who else? You are completely gobsmacked. They think you are a god? The hero shrugs. They are aware that there’s more to it than that, but it’s easier just to go along with it. Meanwhile your mouth is opening and closing like a fish. You aren’t a god, you assure them! The hero tells you they don’t mind if you are or aren’t, they’re just happy to have you with them. Getting to the village, however, is quite chaotic. Laventon is excited to meet you! You worked just as hard to help with the pokedex, and seemed to be a rather kind soul! You smile and tell him you are happy to help, and you couldn’t have done it without the hero, who you wrap an arm around like a parent to their kid. When he hears you call the hero your kid, it’s as if a lot of things click into place. Of course the hero would be your kid, not just your vessel! It explains why you are so protective of them too! He already loves Akari/Rei as his own, and its obvious the hero sees him as a father figure, and he already liked you a lot. When he’s alone, a thought crosses his mind. What if the hero saw you both as their parents? A blush covers his cheeks at the thought of being with you as a parent. It doesn’t sound so bad, the more he thinks about it. Ingo is another that loves the idea. He already likes you a lot, and knows you care about him quite a big deal from all the things he had heard you say about him. Ingo cares about the hero a lot as well, and feels a like a parent figure to them. So when he hears you call them your kid, he’s secretly ecstatic. He’s polite when talking to you, but inside, his mind is racing. He can’t help but daydream about you two together in a home, him cooking for you and the hero. He becomes flustered at the idea of providing for you both. The domesticity of it makes him flustered enough to pull down his hat while talking to you. The hero sees this though, and teases him about it later. Meanwhile, word gets around to Volo that the hero is more or less your kid, and you are very protective of them. He nearly screams and tears his hair out. Seriously?? The kid who he had fought, with the intention of getting rid of, was the kid of the true god??? Oh he was so upset. Expect him to find you two late at night, knocking on the hero’s door. Both of you are surprised to see Volo at the door. Not only that, but he looks like an absolute wreck. He gets down on his knees, and begs you both for forgiveness. He swears, he had no idea! He swears, even though he knew of your existence, he couldn’t stop himself! It was as if strings were controlling his every move! He babbles on and on to you two, and you nearly squeak in surprise when he grabs a leg, and is begging for forgiveness. You and the hero share a shrug. They had told you they were upset, yeah, but they didn’t hate him. You awkwardly pat his head, and tell him you’ll.... figure something out later. He betrayed the hero, and it would be up to them if he got forgiveness. He’s still upset, but let’s go of you, and agrees to leave. This wasn’t outright anger at him, and he would take anything he could get. Besides, you still had to deal with Kamado, who has seemingly been avoiding you this whole time. He was gonna get a tongue lashing when you finally got your hands on him for banishing your kid. Beni wasn’t safe either. Meanwhile, the hero has stars in their eyes. They are so lucky to have someone like you willing to protect them, especially after everything they’ve been through.

The 30ft au idea does make this a bit funnier. If anyone had any doubts you were a god (despite you telling them time and time again you weren’t one), they certainly felt you were now. Everyone thinks twice about ever hurting your kid, lest you come by to stomp on them. You wouldn’t, but hey, you weren’t going to correct them either. Anything to help people back off and keep your kid safe.

#pokemon #ingo x reader #volo x reader #laventon x reader #pokemon x reader #warden ingo x reader #warden ingo #subway boss ingo #pokemon volo #pokemon laventon #pla #self aware ingo #self aware volo #self aware laventon #self aware akari #self aware rei #self aware au #Witch Anon #ask #zed.writes

[missygoesmeow]

missy's tips for honour mode :) (it's very long I'm sorry) (oh and here be many spoilers) (but pictures too!)

please note I am not a pro gamer or anything. I sucked so bad when I first started this game (I had no idea wtf I was doing). Like seriously. I didn't know what an action was. what a bonus action was. "No movement left". WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MOVEMENT LEFT. I had played DnD once before.

I literally bought this game because of Astarion.

I usually play one game and that is Overwatch. the only other time I stopped playing OW was to play Resident Evil: Village because of Lady D. vampire marketing works on me. specifically evil vampire. damn u Neil and Maggie.

if you have any questions about a specific boss or something feel free to ask! I didn't fight everyone though - like I did not do House of Grief because I didn't need to and also it's hard :)

I think a lot of it just came on down to...

ANYWAY. letsa go! this is very rambling!

Like I said in my reply to anon, the best tip is to do tactician FIRST. You’ll get destroyed otherwise. I didn’t finish my tactician run but I did get to act 3 and I did most boss fights (Gortash, Raphael, Cazador). Bosses have legendary actions in tactician and it’s fucking annoying. All the homies hate radiant retort….

Another tip is fucking collect everything. It’s hard to get gold and certain potion ingredients later on. Potion of Speed (you need hyena ears for this) is the BEST. I used them for my Ketheric fight (second phase) and killed him in three turns. I also used them for the final fight and used one or two with Raphael and Orin.

Smokepowder Barrels. I think people call this Barrelmancy? I didn't use them much. I hoarded them for one reason and one reason only.

To blow Raphael.

His soul pillar towers that is. To blow up his pillars. His big long pillars.

Okay I'm done.

(also I did use three in my last fight against the brain - popped them next to it and blew 'em up) Elixir of Bloodlust - sooooo handy with Astarion!

Invisibility Potion is a must - I used this to escape fights when three people were deaded (this happened a few times😅) and get my good friend Withers to bring them back.

bonus tip: don't go into a fight with half your spell slots because you think "she'll be right". she won't be...as seen above

HOLY FUCK WITHERS. You can pickpocket Withers. I used Astarion to get our money back anytime I resurrected, changed class or got a hireling - he doesn’t care if you fail either, just keep trying.

DON'T BE DUMB LIKE MISSY Don't be like me, don't half pay attention in cut scenes and accidentally press the wrong dialogue option. Or else your good friend Lae'zel will turn on you and you will have A Bad Time.

Gale has a stressful day💗

The githyanki are scary and actually now that I think about it, those were usually the fights I had to run away from like a leetle biatch.

Halsin has a stressful day 💗

I forgot that Psionic Backlash is like a thing that does damage and that if your entire worm filled party does it and the person you are casting is at like...say 19 health...they will die because that is not Passive Damage.

And then Jaheira will leave because you murdered her friend.

Oopsie.

(I lost Shart, Lae'Zel and Jaheira in this run) GENERAL STUFF

Always surprise the enemy if you can, it’s a massive advantage!

Get the eye from Volo. This run was not about looking pretty, it was about getting any advantage I could get. Let that man poke out your eyeball. And make sure it’s your Tav, you will mostly likely swap companions and it’s just better if it’s you. It's helpful in a lot of fights but especially Auntie Ethel

Become half illithid. I did this with my Tav, Gale and Minthara. Astarion was a little bitch about it so I didn’t give it to him but I wish I had made him do it.

She looks Not Great but she can fly (sorry Astarion but Z'hera only likes pussy)

Being able to fly is just SO helpful and cull the weak is OP! Also mmmmm worms :)

MY BUILD/PARTY

A Giant Woman (my tiefling) as a Paladin - Oath of Vengeance.

I broke my oath when I ascended Astarion but you can just get it back. Oathbreaker is still good (that’s what I was in my tactician run) but I wanted my channel divinity charges. I started with the Everburn Blade from the cambion Commander Zhalk on the Nautaloid (when you get Shart, give her the Command Spell and use “Drop” so you can just yoink it off him and save a fight). My final weapon was the Nyrulna which you can get in Act 3 at the Circus. To get this you must pickpocket the genie to take his ring and then play his game. He will accuse you of cheating and send you somewher. The prize at the end is this weapon. I love it. I just went invisible and walked through, I didn’t fight the creatures there.

Astarion - the classic gloomstalker/assasin. I had one level assasin and then did 6 levels ranger before going back to assassin. So he was 6 levels in each. With him ascended, he does INSANE damage. I never swap out that vamp, he’s too useful.

Shart/Minthara - I lost Shart in the Shadowfell - wouldn't let her murder Dame Aylin.

a simpler time. before I killed my beloved and my brain was full of worms.

I had to fight her (it was very sad). I changed her class to Life of Domain Cleric. I then made Minthara my cleric when Shart died (same build). She replaced my lover and my cleric <3

i love my new evil girlfriend

Gale - Evocation Wizard so I didn’t change him at all!

he's so hopeful. and Z'hera is very gay.

TIPS FOR POTIONS

If it’s throwable (like invisibility) group the gang together to throw one on the ground to get you all - saves using multiple.

Potion of Speed has an effect called lethargic that is active for one round after the potion ends. This means you miss a turn. HOWEVER! If you drink another one on the last active round of the potion, your Tav will become lethargic immediately and next round you’ll be fine :) I did this for the Ketheric fight.

It’s also helpful (because of lethargic) to not have all characters take the potion in the same round (if you give it to everyone). I never did, I usually gave them to Gale and my Tav.

I hoarded so many scrolls. I had so many dimension door scrolls at the end.

I did get the Necromancy of Thay and did all the things. And then I never used it :)

BIGGEST TIP ONCE YOU'VE UNLOCKING LEVEL 6 SPELL SLOT WITH CLERIC (ALSO AVAILABLE WITH DRUID)

I saw this on reddit! Pretty much what I did was get a hireling - Cleric - and have that Cleric cast Heroes' Feast on my party.

The affected entity is immune to Diseases, Poisons, and being Frightened, it makes all Wisdom Saving throws with Advantage, and its maximum Hit Points are increased by 12

Lasts until long rest!! I also then cast Freedom of Movement on everyone in the party. I then cast Warding Bond on someone - usually Gale because he's a squishy boy :) If I knew it was a BIG FIGHT! I got another Cleric to cast Warding Bond on another party member.

you can see Heroes' Feast (the condition is called Thoroughly Stuffed) and Freedom of Movement. These all last until long rest!

Pretty much any other companions were respeced as Cleric (though I made Jaheira a Wizard same as Gale so I could use her). I did this so that I could use Divine Intervention multiple times within the game!

I used Opulent Revival and nothing else

KEEP IN MIND.

anything can kill you in honour mode. even an elevator.

it crushed me. somehow.

thanks Larian

(if you want proper guides definitely go to Reddit!)

#missy the honourable #missy meows #bg3 #bg3 honour mode #this is very long and rambling #sorry! #but im no guy on reddit

[smallestapplin]

so I heard you wanna write for Snake Volo huh?

Well heres an idea for ya. Naga Volo and his darling having an experimental day where darling asks to be used like a toy, it's advanced concent because the idea is for the day Volo at any point, anywhere can just use his darling like a toy with complete control ~

:0!!

🔞18+Only!🔞

🔞CW : afab reader, free use, hidden but still public, two dicks Volo, mean Volo(what did you expect?) exhibitionist, voyeurism unknowingly🔞

-

-

-

You knew when you agreed to this, that Volo would take every bit of it seriously.

His fanged smirk told you all you needed to know.

And with a safe word in place, he let you leave for your little missions. He didn’t tell you when, or where, letting you jump at every sound.

In the middle of the crimson mirelands. You hated it, hating how easily he can hide here, you know he can find you easily.

You aren’t that far from camp when you’re grabbed, a hand slapping over your mouth as you’re dragged to the ground.

“Unless you want them to hear you, I suggest you be quiet.”

Was your only warning, before your pants are ripped and underwear torn off.

“Volo!”

You squeak, feeling his forked tongue against your clit. You grip the grass below you, panting as he laps at your cunt. You mewl, burying your face in your arms, it feels good, especially with his he’s moaning against you.

Nearly whimpering when he pulls away.

“Now dearest.” The end of his tail thumps against the ground

His hand sliding up your back, to your neck and gripping your chin. He forces your jaws open, shoving two fingers into your mouth keeping it open.

“Let’s see how much control you have.”

His tail wraps around your ankle, forcing your legs apart.

“I hope they hear you, I hope they come to see just how much of a whore you are.”

You make a noise of protest, but it dies on your tongue. Volo rubs his two leaking cocks against your cunt.

His free hand lifts your hips up, and gives you no time to think before slamming one of his cocks into you.

The other grinding against your clit.

You can’t stop the shriek you let out.

“That’s it! Let them know who you belong to.”

You squeal, feeling his cock plunge deep inside you.

He’s using you like a toy! Stuffing your pussy so full! His hot cum leaking from his other dick, rubs against your throbbing nub, bringing you closer and closer.

He takes his fingers, soaked in your spit, down towards his drooling length, stroking himself and putting more pressure on your clit.

You arch your back, squealing.

“Volo! Volo! O-oh fuck, it’s-! Haaa!”

It’s too much!

His belly scales smack against your ass, his cock slamming into your cunt, hitting your sweet spot.

The large hybrid coos at your loud squeals and whines.

“So cute like this. My sweet mate, giving quite the show.”

You don’t process what he says, only squirming and trying to fuck yourself against him.

Unaware of the shocked galaxy team guard standing on the ledge, who simply came to see what the noise was.

Not expecting to find the hero, thrashing against the ground, crying out like a wanton whore for the sky snake man.

Whose core throbs at the sight.

You were aware this could happen.

In fact you knew Volo was betting on it.

He’s always wanted to show everyone just who you’re mated to.

And you have all day of this.

Volo growls, hissing at your pussy milking his cock as you cum.

“Take it! Milk me for all my worth like a good pet!”

You cry, your cunt convulsing around him. Pumping load after load of his hot cum into you, some from his free cock coating your uniform.

“I can’t wait to hunt you again, will you be ready for more?”

Volo chuckles at your lovesick look.

“What a naughty mate I have.

#smut #spicy #🔞🔞🔞 #mdni #you’d think it being a Volo fic would be warning enough #pokemon smut #pokemon volo smut #pokemon volo x reader smut #pokemon hybrid au #pokemon x reader smut #volo.thirst #pokemon x fem reader smut

[kelpie-bael]

Bg3 epilogue spoilers and thoughts below. I have romanced no one except the Emperor and all companion quests were completed. Orpheus was killed.

First off, I talked to Lae'zel first and foremost expecting to be hated for killing Orpheus but she calls me old friend 😭😭😭. I love you so much, thank you for still liking me!!

Ajdjdjddj she calls herself Zealous, bossy, and insistent and that it's all part of her charm. God she's really making me regret not romancing her.

Lae'zel says she missed me 😭😭 It's confirmed she's Bael's best friend

Shadowheart says she missed me and then says I've gotten fatter XD She's much more soft spoken and calm. She truly seems at peace and happy. And then she makes fun of herself for spouting sharran drivel lol HAHA still so sassy!

HAHAHAHA SCRATCH HAS THE ASTRAL PRISM AND WANTS US TO THROW IT

For some reason Volo is fucking here lmao and Withers didn't invite him XD he fucking showed up on his own. He's fucking forging our signature for release forms. Arrogant bastard but he's hilarious

Gale is a professor! Esteemed and honored! I got to hug him!! He unfortunately gave the crown to Mystra and no longer has the orb yet threatens the students with blowing up XD LOLOLO references how I failed at his magic lesson

TARA MY BELOVED!!

!!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to get the Cleric option!!! Roleplaying Bael as super devout and getting this is a blessing <3 AND THEN! Gale says he expects nothing less!

YES YES YES, MY EVANGELIZING BABE!! Lol he's still attempting to rizz me up and inviting me to stay in his tower

Right out of the gate, Astarion is flirting with me too X3 LOLOL if you ask him if he's been drinking and he calls us cheeky and that he's been well behaved. Aww little grumpy cat became respectable and a hero, killing the right people. He still doesn't consider himself 'good' which tracks. Aww he's accepted himself and seems happy, good for him. He's now less wet cat and more satisfied and happy. And he still wants the sun which of course he does

Halsin is still so formally articulate. Awww you offer a hug and he makes a joke about never declining and he's a doppelganger otherwise. Which hits because Orin did kidnap him 😭 Aww the Shadow lands are healing well and they've done wonders with reconstruction! Aww everyone is welcomed! What a shift from what we see from the grove at first. HALSIN HAS CHILDREN, 'CHARGES' TECHNICALLY BUT CHILDREN!! HAHA he jokes about tucking us in and telling bedtime stories. It's a little disappointing telling him about your time is less descriptive than the other companions.

Oliver and Thaniel are happy!! Yay!! Also he stills loves bear form and the children love it <3 Also he doesn't fuck as much anymore XD He's settled now and is happy!

He's not involved in the grove at all now but things are going well! I killed Kagha, good riddens. One last Halsin hug 🥰 HE GAVE ME A WOODEN DUCK!! I'm very happy about this duck

Jaheira is such a mom right out of the gate makes fun of me for being presentable for once lol And then I give it right back. Baldur's Gate reconstruction is going well! Jaheira still has a rough relationship with her kids but it seems to be better. Aww she doesn't truly care for the city but she helps for her children <3 Adopt me Jaheira! Aww unfortunately not too much to talk about with her. Very dry but I didn't bring her with me much.

Karlach is doing well in Avernus! Her and Wyll have been fighting hard to survive! AND! She might be able to fix her condition!! She does immediately make fun of me being clean though XD Aww and she really wants to come back to Baldur's Gate and she asks if she can find us 😭😭. Of course you can!!

LOLOLOL Withers is torturing a bard who owes him a favor to play for is. AJDHDJDJFJS EXCUSE ME??? THIS BARD IS AN ALLY OF MY GOD??? I just made fun of him... And then I said it is an honor to meet an ally of Oghma.

Honestly this feels so nice to be called a fellow Oghmanyte! Bael loves her god so much and to meet a peer is wonderful! I really appreciate how much I can bring up my class in this. He also pepped up so much knowing I worship Oghm

Awww Minsc and Boo are already so cute!! Lmao Minsc and Boo were locked away by Zhentarians for execution. He is so very happy to get a chance to beat his way out ... I don't think he'll survive tho... Aww he says don't cry because you've missed us! Also he's gonna get himself presentable which is fair, he's literally in prison garb

Baldur's Gazette articles are very interesting. Lol Astarion gets in the paper for sparing people!

Lol bug

OMFG THE LETTER CHEST!!! I DONT GET TO TALK TO THE EMPEROR BUT HE LEFT ME A LETTER!!

It is less than I wanted but I'm still so so so happy we got anything

I won't be going over all the letters in here lol, but they're great! Actually no, fuck you Valeria. Barcus you lovable bastard lmao. Arabella you're growing well and I love you! Aww the gur to Astarion is cute. Araj, wtf. Voss doesn't seem to hate me much anymore either 🥹 Aww zevlor, stop being so hard on yourself

Finally saved the best for last, Wyll. Enjoying the fresh air!! Obviously much more enjoyable than sulfur. He missed me too <3 Hes very soft and saying he can't imagine doing everything again without us <3 He's still deadly as ever without his powers, get fucked Mizora!! His father is proud of him and they've seen each other often. I still hate his father and he should be a little bitter but he's happy so I won't intrude. Also the fists have been forgiven and are back in good order. Hes getting fucking wasted!

Withers!! You've done wonders to this dilapidated building!

Lolol withers gives us a speech and says it's over for now with a naughty little finger wag. I love you Withers so much!! <3

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #epilogue spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3

[terrible-eel]

Thank you @piipaw for tagging me! Here's a game to show off your Tav, feel free to reblog and add your own or take the layout to make your own! I have a million ideas for my guy so I'm so glad I have somewhere to put a few. (Also feel free to ask me questions if you're curious, my dms are always open)

Althea|| Drow || Druid || He/it || 127

What’s your Tav’s…

Favorite weapon: Whips. When in the Underdark Althea whips were his weapon of choice. Once Althea learned how to wield magic through the Old Faith, he grew a thorny vine and nurtured it to maturity before taking a piece for his thorn whip.

Style of Combat: Althea is used to guerrilla warfare from fighting the Loth Drow, but he prefers direct confrontations, taking wildshape and eating whoever’s in front of him.

Most prized possession: He doesn’t care much for material things so he just gives everything he finds to everyone else. He does feel accomplished seeing his companions in the things he gives them though.

Deepest desire: Althea had broken away from the Underdark and traveled alone for so long that he hadn’t given it much thought until he began to get to know everyone. Now he wants to make sure his companions are free.

Guilty pleasure: He makes a terrible Druid by most Druid standards. He’s a complete hedonist and does whatever he wants,( drinks, fucks, fights etc.) feeling that following his own base nature is true worship. He doesn’t care about any gods and has no illusions about “harmony” not implying “savagery” in some ways because everything has to eat and exists on a food chain. (That being said, he hates cruelty)

Best-kept secret: His entire past is a secret. He still has family in the Underdark who chose to remain there. He’d die before revealing anything about them.

Greatest strength: Althea’s sense of fear might be a little broken. It’s not quite bravery so much as an absence of caution, which can be great in combat but might not be so good a trait in a leader.

Fatal Flaw: He falls into caretaking everyone before realizing it. He had left his responsibilities once before, thinking he’d stay independent, but now he can’t help but pick up strays and aid every person who asks, just because he feels like he can.

Favorite Smell: Amber and cloves *wink*

Favorite spell or cantrip: Wildshape. 100%. Learning that specific magic was really the first time he felt free.

Pet Peeve: Volo. The entire man.

Bad Habit: Althea doesn’t enjoy doing one thing for too long. He lacks followthrough with a lot of plans and will just think “Bored now” and find a way out of a situation if it becomes too tedious, even if it means killing someone he had built trust with.

Hidden Talent: The man could command a small army pretty successfully if needed. He has the experience. Not his proudest talent, but it’s there.

Leisure activity: Althea will gamble any chance he gets. Gold is for gambling as far as he’s concerned. Dice, cards, tests of strength. He loves watching people play games more than he cares about winning.

Favorite drink: At some point Gale makes him a cup of sipping chocolate and his life is changed forever. He lurks around when he sees Gale cooking, hoping to get another cup.

Comfort food: Any kind of roast with potatoes and carrots. He loves to eat anything he can get his hands on but roasts are nostalgic.

Favorite person: Aside from his dog and owlbear friends, he’s growing very close to Gale and maybe falling for Astarion.

Favorite display of affection, (Platonic and/or Romantic): Romantic: Althea loves directness and straightforward honesty, but Astarion’s complicated combinations of flirtations and confessions has him fixated. He wants to take Astarion stargazing and let him calm down. Platonic: Gale’s sharing of knowledge is his favorite form of friendship. He’s never bored with what Gale has to say. He wants to show Gale all the secret little magics he’s learned living in the woods. How even smaller mushrooms can reveal secrets, or how bird eggs hold life-lines like the palms of one's hands.

Fondest childhood memory: Building little forts between giant mushrooms with his siblings and pretending they had a little house together.

@basuralindo And anyone else who plays Bg3!

#Tav #bg3 tav #baldurs gate 3 #tavstarion #astarion x tav #astarion x mc #drow #drow tav #druid tav #tav game

[cassioppenny]

can we get more stuff about loki PLEASE

YIPPEE LOKI anyway here's so fun facts(tm)

anyway i had the idea of loki for a long ass time (very autistic about mew). original concept loki (from when i was like 13ish) was like completely different from modern loki. they looked like the same age as the other kanto kids and their name was yellow. their clothes were yellow, black, and purple because 13 year old me was very subtle. their personality was completely different too they were a hashtag uwu baby guy.

anyway then the pre neela mutual era loki is much more similar to modern loki personality wise and their name was eve instead and wore a dress. i would show you some old art i drew of them from like a year ago but i got jumpscared by how fucking bad it looked THEIR EYES WERE FUCKING HUGE yeah im not showing that

anyway loki fun fact time🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

can't tell the difference between human faces they all look the same to them

also sucks at remembering names. especially lance's she keeps forgetting he even exists

he became the indigo champion because they were bored and wanted to fuck with a bunch of humans. also they learned about the mewtwo shit while champion and is pretty pissed about it

they stole the master ball lol

looked into the future to see who's become champion at the end just so they could torment them. unluckily for red that was him

because he saw the future she also knew blue was the one to fight red for the champion spot so they went up and told blue that red was going to become champion and he's like "nuh uh!! i am!!" which also ends up contributing to the kanto trio's friendship falling apart later lmao

anyway they lose to blue on purpose just for blue to face red next and get his ass beat

goes on a road trip with green post rgby where they take her to go capture the legendary birds, lugia, and mewtwo. he then takes mewtwo from her and fucks off

she makes a bet with ho-oh that red is going to die on mount silver and ho-oh is like "no he won't" and loki gets pissed off when ho-oh was right

loki gave volo immortality but now regrets it because they fucking hate each other's guts now

almost kills blaine in front red and green oopsie

mew's siblings (creation trio + lake trio) and kids (ho-oh, lugia, rayquaza, and zygarde) all don't like them

#milesverse #the meow meow.... #obsessed with this little freak #loki fucking HATES humans but also enjoys tormenting them it's very fun to her

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Omfg, Zoroark Lewis!! And Arthur working for Emmet as a depot agent who still lost his arm somehow?! Who is an enabler encouraging Arthur's probably sleep deprived plan, of course, but only if he can go too. He has a lot of vacation time saved up, it's fine, and he trusts his other depot agents to keep things running smoothly while he's gone. Listen, he's been a good, responsible adult for however long Ingo has been missing, he deserves to get to do a few crazy as shit things like punching a hole through time with a train, as a treat. Plus he... probably shouldn't let Arthur go alone if he's still fucked up enough over losing his arm that he can't work. I'm just imagining Arthur driving the train down the mountain the same way he does that hill in Hellbent, just like screaming the whole way down until he finally crashes into something, but worse because he only has one arm, is intensely sleep deprived, and is probably on some pretty intense pain killers.

Wait wait, no, before my brain runs away with this more, tell me what other ideas this crossover idea already has. I think this au conception was before I started following you, so I don't know if it's been fleshed out at all. I have Questions about how, for example, Arthur lost his arm, and how Lewis wound up in the past but still died with a grudge against Arthur, and if Vivi has amnesia here, etc.

qhjqhjk ok honestly the au is very vague right now, in that i have some hazy ideas but i'm not sold on them and could go another way if we think of something better. but anyway

so right now i think all the riftnappings happened at once? like, ingo vivi and lewis were all in the same place for Reasons and all of them got yoinked. and this was probably possessed-arthur's fault since yeah lewis still hates him. probably the fall killed lewis but the others survived? the alternative is that vivi was taken later in the same way the protagonist is. either way i think yes to vivi amnesia bc she idolizes her ancestor so otherwise shed get a lot of spoilers out the gate (since mushi (the original one) is the hero of legend)

another thing i pitched re: how they even wound up in the past is that arthur is volo's descendant, and as such is a vulnerable point for giratina to exploit. i think giratina mostly just wanted vivi, but the other two got caught in the crossfire

IF mystery is vivi's partner and not a thing from the past (which was another pitch earlier), i think he looks like a weird hybrid vulpix but is Not a vulpix and can still do the transformation thing. like a hoopa confined/unbound situation. however giratina possession is also probably not, like, arm based, so maybe he grabbed arthur's arm in his teeth while falling? (if that happened, you get the bonus that even if mystery would have form shifted he still arrived in hisui with a mouth full of blood and someone's fucking arm and it's like. he's very small now but that's not exactly a recipe for trust)

now i'm just like. going on. but also i think lewis is sort of unique as a zoroark in that 95% of the time he's very chill unless he has to remember arthur for some reason. normally zoroark are consistently vicious and humanity-hating but lewis is just a nice young man if you ignore the fire-breathing anger about That One Guy (who doesn't seem to actually exist as far as anyone can tell.) this i think is bc most zoroark were abandoned by humanity sort of comprehensively, and were made to feel entirely alone and rejected, whereas lewis has no problem with most of humanity but his betrayal over arthur was just so intense that he came back as a zorua anyway.

anyway yeah jlskjsklj part of emmet's reasoning is also that like. if he made it all the way over to the station in the first place he's probably not going to like. Stop. he's gonna do the inadvisable wormhole thing one way or another and at least this way he's sort of supervised. but yes mostly he's just also really on board with the idea himself. and also yes re: the train going down the mountain like the van in hellbent, except that i think emmet's driving.

also i think THEY keep their memories, maybe arthur put some kind of protective barrier together or it's just a matter of the actual physical train walls or whatever.

the final note is that despite ingo and vivi having amnesia and all that, a lot of people know arthur's name in hisui. except, of course, they know him via lewis, so most of their understanding of him is that he's an evil, murderous, two-faced scumbag with no morals and the blood of at least one good man on his hands. which makes for a fun time when arthur chats with people for a while and then finally introduces himself

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #anonymous #pokefic pitch #m this should have a tag... uh #nah i'll do it later i gotta get going #msaxpla

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

My Mother Plays Baldur's Gate: Part 5

Summary: My retired mom is having me play Baldur's Gate 3 on her behalf because she has trouble using controllers/keyboards but still wants to "smooch the wizard boy." She is playing a neutral chaotic good wood elf druid; this is a detailed account of her crimes. Part 1 & 2 Part 3 Part 4

Sorry for the long break! Life got super busy for a second there. We're about 30-40% of the way through Act 3, and we finished up some companion quest lines and started making some plans to kill Gortash and Orin.

Here's what happened during yesterday's game session:

Scratch gave us an iron bowl at camp. My mom assumed this was somehow plot relevant, so she had me carry it around everywhere because "we might need it." I am not allowed to sell the bowl. She is a druid and her carrying capacity is still garbage. I suffer.

She LOVES Gale’s new kiss animations. I  tasked with smooching him before we leave camp every single time. Even if I just stop by to switch out a party member, I still have to kiss him goodbye. (And pet the animals, obviously.)

We accidentally blew up Volo outside the Steel Watch foundry with a poorly-placed Ice Storm that nicked the edge of the explosive barrels. His corpse was charred and unrecognizable, and my mom was distraught. She demanded to know why I blew him up, so I reminded her that casting Ice Storm was HER idea. We saved him the second time.

Cazador accidentally won his fight several times because we kept rolling dogshit initiative and got zapped by status effects before we could move an inch. The first time Astarion got turned to paste in the ritual, my mom nearly leapt out of her seat. (“RELOAD RIGHT NOW, HONEY.”) We killed Cazador on the fifth attempt, the rotten bastard.

My mom was locked in for the Iron Throne mission. The turn limit really freaked her out, and she kept second-guessing my choices every time I made a move because she was so nervous I was wasting time. I had to gently remind her that I’ve done this mission literally dozens of times. (We got everyone out with a whole turn to spare. Pfffft.)

Got the wavemother robe. I put it on Gale because I thought my mom would love it, but she was actually horrified because he “might catch a cold.” She robe is now somewhere in the camp stash next to all the spoons, iron tongs, and rags. It will probably never be found again. 

Saved the Gondians, and Mom now rides the “fuck Wulbren Bongle” hate train. Shout-out to my boy Barcus!

After watching the conclusion of The Pale Elf quest line (Astarion did NOT ascend, thank you), my mom quietly said, “I hope that actor knows how perfect he is as Astarion. What a wonderful man.” I had the pleasure of informing her that Neil Newbon won Best Performance at the Game Awards for his role. Congrats Neil Newbon, my mom is super proud of you!

Hoping to get together with my mom again soon and make some more progress through Act III. She told me to thank you for all your kind words of support!

#bg3 #crime mom plays bg3 #baldursgate #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #cazador #gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #wulbren bongle #bg3 wulbren #barcus wroot #barcus my beloved #volo #volothamp geddarm #neil newbon

[spitdrunken]

Ngl I feel so wrong for having read so much on your blog in the span of an hour or so 😭😭 I'm a kink baby (not like littles, I'm into freaky stuff but I don't know the term for those newly/inexperienced with the stuff) and seeing the blankshipping makes me feel both so wrong yet so turned on??? Like???

I can't help but to fantasize over the submas twins corrupting their younger sister as they start to show interest in her. Like I read the Volo innocence post you wrote and I started thinking of something similar to those lines but for the submas twins. Maybe the younger sister was always their little princess that they spoiled and doted on and she repays the kindness by being super clingy and loving towards them? Like she's the pinnacle of what the twins want to protect so what better way than to become her lovers? They would hate to see their younger sister be taken and used by some random man so why not just show her everything she can gain with them? I imagine that they start slowly corrupting them and turning her into their little sub and fucking her senseless because that's what their sister deserves <3

Idk if that's weird or not but I really like your blog :)

notes: incest, grooming (all characters are 18+ during nsfw sections, but their dynamic as children is discussed)

hi anon!! i’m sorry for taking a while to get to this, but you’re so valid okay <33 i know when you’re first getting into ‘darker’ / more ‘’’gross’’’ (not my opinion but what it likely feels like to you at the moment) stuff you can feel guilty sometimes, but there’s nothing to feel bad about! enjoying this kind of stuff is super common. (just look at prnhub, anime / visual novels, the amount of fics in the ‘1ncest’ tag on ao3, etc etc.) i hope that made you feel a little better!! onto the actual content though <3

first off, that’s not weird at all-!! i have a very similar, expanded au with my girlfriend where ‘you’ are basically the submas’ little sister, so your idea is more than welcome here <3

Ingo is someone with an inherently caring nature. He enjoys looking after people, guiding them to their destinations and, in personal matters, he is much the same. While growing up, he was often fussier than your mother, but also praised you more than anyone else. Both of the twins insist on you following the rules laid out by your parents, but Ingo is more strict. (Who would sometimes sneak you an extra piece of candy!) From a young age, he’s had a fascination with dressing you up. The cuter, the better! His choices would really make you feel like a princess. He’s more passive than his brother, and would feel a little sad watching you have fun without him, but he’s more likely to try and let it go. 

Emmet just thinks you are the cutest! Your smile is the absolute best one ever, and he would do anything to keep you happy. This is the primary reasons he lets you a little loose sometimes, but only under his direct supervision. Emmet is already notably jealous as a kid, and doesn’t like you or Ingo spending time around anyone else. He’s the main reason you grow up somewhat secluded, actively interfering in your friendships with others. Kids are often a little selfish, however, Emmet never entirely grows out of it. He wants what’s best for you, but on his terms, because he knows best.

Everyone thought it was adorable how little you fought while growing up, and how inseparable you were. Now that you’re adults, though... It’s a bit more weird. 

You’ve never stopped being sweet and adorable to them, they never stopped wanting the best for you and wanting to protect you! Through their work as Subway Bosses, they’ve gotten to meet so many people, and realised that... Tons of people are terrible. Horribly rude and completely dismissive of any and all safety regulations! Sure, not everyone sucks, but when imagining you dating some stranger... They can’t imagine it going well. It’s a common subject between the two of them. They are actively concerned about you getting a crush on someone. Thankfully, you always tell them you still love your big brothers the most ♡!

(At the same time, I love the idea of you essentially having a bit of a puppy crush on your big brothers... Since their job has made them decently famous, there’s a lot of content featuring them online! When you read romantic self insert fanfiction about your brothers, that’s definitely just to laugh at how they’re written! Nothing else!!)

After one more conversation about ‘the state of humanity in regards to our little sister’s dating options’, Emmet asks: Why shouldn’t we date her? There are a million arguments against it. First off all, you’re related. But Emmet plays on Ingo’s emotions, he knows how worried he is about you, and how guilty he feels about is poorly hidden feelings for you. Emmet is the one who will end up taking the lead. You trust and love your brothers the most, so it only makes sense they’d take your most important firsts too... (Emmet will end up jerking Ingo off while whispering fantasies about you into his ear. How tight you would be about your big brother’s cock, how cutely you’d moan, how nice you’d look in a cute set of underwear... He cums embarrassingly fast.)

You’re already so clingy, that it’s easy to ease you into a bit more affection! Holding your hand, kissing your cheek, pulling you on to his lap... All of that is easy for Emmet. You happily soak up all of the extra attention. When you complain eventually about being permanently single, Emmet will ‘jokingly’ ask about preparing for the future ahead of you... He’ll offer. to teach you how to kiss! You get so embarrassed you can’t get a word out, but when he softly pecks you on the lips you can’t find it in yourself to protest too much. By the end of it, you’re making out with him on the couch, sitting flush against him on his lap.

Emmet has been hiding his feelings for you for so long, and is so intent on ruining you for anyone else, that there’s a decent chance he’ll fuck you open on that couch right then and there, for Ingo to walk in on you two. 

#nw #cha.ingo #cha.emmet #cw.incest #cw.grooming

[r0-boat]

What I think of you based off Pla Boys you simp for :)

This isn't serious this is just for fun,

no for real I'm probably projecting real hard on some of these :)

Volo

... we're skipping this one...No because you said "I want that one :). I want the one who tried to kill me and hates me"

The religious trauma probably has a death grip on you

Self-worth are at the floor fr

Adaman

I feel like if you known him in real life you probably wouldn't tolerate him... Idk Adaman just feel like a type of person to show up at the park 30 minutes early for your date and complain that you're not here.

But you tolerate him because he's hot...

he is the reason you're rethinking your sexuality. Or your not straight

Ingo

Imagine having screen time for less than 5 minutes and suddenly being one of the most popular characters.

You are down tremendous.

He's had that tight gorilla grip on you for 10 years straight. Bitch you probably want that too I can sense the hand kink on you

Meli

You want the punch this man in the face and kiss him all over at the same time.

I've never seen people so conflicted on their feelings.

Enemies to Ememies that fuck and say I love you to each other🥰

#pokemon legends arceus

[yanban-san]

i let a full, solid decade of pmd experience go out the window because of volo and how excited i was that someone was mentioning/talking about the lore nshit in game. they need to add a clown outfit to legends arceus so i can put it on and finally embrace my true title as booboo the fool hrHJDGKDSM-- im almost done the post-game thing with him and ive been putting it off bc i got attached nd just... idk i wanna sit down and talk with volo in a "i'll pick at your brain if you wanna pick at mine but hey no forreal what do you think is up with those unknown and why are they here/how'd they get here, whats your take on that" kinda way.

also i hope your headcold isn't kicking your ass too hard and that it leaves you be sooner rather than later!! ingo will make an eggmans announcement about your cold too bc these hands are rated e for everyone, germs and sicknesses included - feather anon

We already have a clown outfit and it's being worn by a lil bitch named Kamado- Oh wait no that's just his silly suit of armor!

I think it'd be great to sit down with Volo and just discuss pokemon lore for a few good hours- He honestly seems like he'd be extremely fun to just sit down and chat with about myths n' legends, maybe have a battle with, eat anything but Bitch Beni's potato mochi, and have a few good laughs and just chill out together

On the subject of Unown though I do like the one fan theory that Unown are the supposed 1000 arms of Arceus; Or at least what are essentially a medium by which Arceus's divine powers act. We saw a bit of this in the movie with Entei and the little girl and the Unown; By spelling out with the glyphs that she wanted a mama and a papa, the Unown began to create her reality.

And then in Arceus and the Jewel of Life and, if I remember correctly, in the other movies featuring the Creation Deities, their dimensions are swarming with Unown. Coincidence? I THINK NOT

And don't worry! I think it's almost run it's course, I just wish I'd stop coughing so much.

Also like the idea of Ingo just running into the middle of Jubilife to start shouting at the top of his lungs an Eggman Announcement about something he hates whenever the mood seizes him.

Ingo:

I've come to make an announcement. Kamado the Commander's a BITCH ASS motherfucker. He kicked out my fucking niece. That's right. He opened his bitch ass bearded mouth, and told my niece to leave the village. And he said the sky turning red was her fault, and I said he's disgusting So I'm making a callout here in Jubilife Square: Kamado, you got a small dick, it's the size of this oran berry except way smaller, and by the way here's what my team of Alpha Pokemon looks like. That's right baby- All Filled with Wild Might, All level 100, LOOK AT EM THEY LOOK LIKE A BUNCHA KAIJUS OVER TOKYO.

He kicked my niece outta her house so guess what, I'M KICKING HIM OUTTA HIS HOUSE. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET: MY GARCHOMP'S SUPER LASER HYPER BEAM.

*blows up Kamado's house*

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT KAMADO? YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE HYPER BEAM DRRROPLETS HIT YOUR FUCKIN OFFICE NEXT- NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I HAVE KLEAVOR CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD.

#In all honesty I imagine Ingo fucking hates Kamado for kicking the player out of the village #Ingo feels a weird sense of camaraderie with the player because ya both have amnesia sort of and you help Ingo remember the future and #you're also both good trainers #And ahdsjkhal I hate Kamado so much #Hate him #Pokemon Legends Arceus