#want to shoot so bad it hurts

[charmac]

x

#bro i can’t with the way some people love to sanitise this show to a certain degree #like when it comes down to it #they’re all fucked up #saying a certain plot was a mistake or ooc #bc they’re fucked up people who fuck up and do bad shit #like be real lol #do whatever you want in fanon #but the whinging and blaming when bad ppl do bad thing #when they’re actually awful to each other #when they fuck up each others lives and psyches #like YEAH. #THATS THE POINT #they’re so awful it extends right to the people they love the most #you’re in the wrong place if you think the gang hurting each other is out of character or ‘bad writing’ #this isnt about retcons btw this is about certain later seasons #bc yes i think we all agree the show did get softer #but it shouldn’t be whiplash to the point of blaming random writers and saying ‘that’s not canon’ when they’re fucked up people still #anyway can’t wait for frank to shoot one of them on purpose #and for one of them to kick dennis when he’s in fetal position breakdown #hope charlie tries to drive on the road trip and hits mac with the car and blames him for being a gay loser about it #no one gets us man… #sorry i’m sleep deprived what else is new

[broodygaming]

Gods that scene where Catra, in S3 "Remember", holds onto Adora and says "stay with me" just breaks my heart. Her hesitation in asking Adora what she wants. Her full, complete buy in of this "perfect" reality. Not perfect because of that power she's always saying she wants, heck, Adora is succeeding in CATRAS perfect reality, in their shared perfect reality. It's perfect because... Adora stayed. She stayed. For once in her life she stayed. Except she doesn't. Even here... she leaves.

#she ra and the princesses of power #spop #and like yadadadadada what catra has done here is bad and it's all sad and all that stuff #but like we're not talking deep interpersonal consequences we're talking broad stroke storytelling motifs #and this one is chefs kiss #like it just hit me that catra (power wise) gets severely downgraded in her PERFECT REALITY and adora is like mid manager #and that's it that's all they wanted #to not be under shadoweavers boot to have some autonomy and to be together #LOW BAR IS SO SAD #to not be left behind AGAIN #gods every time I watch this I relate more and more to catra #the impulse to burn down your bridges before they hurt you #so you say fuck them all and isolate isolate isolate lashing out at anyone who comes near #but all ive ever learned from love is how to shoot at somebody who outdrew you #and it's not a cry you hear at night it's not somebody who's seen the light... it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

[spacemanxpaninis]

Real real sad

#I had this whole plan to shoot a mini shot with one of my work crushes & he called out again I keep missing him #& I’m worried he’s trying to not work here anymore but I’m like not before I can get your phone number please 😭 #I have such bad luck & it’s like??? #I feel like my entire purpose in life is to love others but I have no one to give it to & it sucks #my own mother told me I was wasting my potential & it hurts to feel like a daughter they can’t even be proud of #I feel like a sink wanting to pour out to others & no one wants to get their vessel filled or fill mine #& I haven’t been sleeping well for over a week. I’m so done with everything #my closest/longest standing friendships suffered big blows last year too #I need a W so bad 😭😭😭

[elytrafemme]

call the hairdresser and call the mediator because the way i'm splitting to the fucking ends right now

#babes i'm so sorry about it i'm SO sorry about it but i don't think we can blame this one on the period craziness anymore #i've not even been that mentally ill lately but my friend said we like can't hang out before he goes back to school #AND my sister doesn't want to hang out tn and i'm genuinely like? i'm going to break my fucking phone #like okay i'll just kill myself. whatever. i'm becoming super fucking toxic it's really bad #obviously i don't say this shit this is internal i'm not gonna push for anything that's super fucked #but like. ohhhh my God the rage i'm feeling right now. i need to kill someone #literally why am i like this. no explanation no anything i'm just like this? who fucked me over though like what happened #what's my tragic backstory i've got nothing i'm literally just crazy #he's not even answering my fucking texts anymore like tell me to die. pussy. do it. do it! fuck w me right now #and i was so nice i literally was like. hey no worries how's your summer been what's been going on! #i'm watching more youtube within the last 10 minutes of checking my phone i've almost thrown up and thrown it twice #do you think people try to fuck me over. do you think that's a thing. like they're testing me #if you showed me some of my old online friends right now the way i would rip them into pieces #my girlfriend's been pissed lately too like it's my two best friends riding for me and nobody else #oh he replied fucking great. shooting myself in the head i'm so manic pixie for this i'm so fixing him right now #i'm not he's got a girlfriend. but like. whatever. could've been me & i think about that when i'm mad #i do not like him but me and her are literally the exact same she's just prettier and smarter and i'm more of a good person #not right now though. i need to loop someone gets hurt from mean girls until i'm fucking normal #neg #vent #suicide tw

[izzy-b-hands]

6,066 words, one plot that involves time travel of a sort, an incredibly sad ending, the bashing of the Filet O Fish, and then a much softer, safer overall ending.

But the ghost hunters AU oneshot is done. It’s 420 in the fucking morning and I’m finally tired, but if anyone wants to give it a read to make sure it actually makes fucking sense I would both be in your debt and would have a google docs link ready for you.

Lemme know if any of y’all are interested. Once I’ve had at least one set of eyes on it, I’ll probably publish it to AO3 since it got Long, and then I’ll pop that link up here and on my nautical/our flag sideblog too

#text post #my only regret is that I couldn't get it to 6666 words AND end it by 420 in the morning #would have been funny and fitting #my back hurts so bad from sitting up to type in bed I am going to sleeb now #but I will be awake by the early afternoon I'm sure so fr msg me here or if u have my discord there and I'll shoot u the link if u want

[cuntwrap--supreme]

There's nothing for me in Tennessee. I think I'm gonna just move somewhere up northwest. Like Montana. I want to live where there are no people. It's cheaper. It's quieter. I'm less likely to be bothered by my family. I'm only concerned with people being more homophobic in the sticks. Like, I can stand up for myself, but I don't want to have to hit a shitsack for calling me slurs.

I just don't know if I can be here anymore with all that's going on. Too many memories. Too much pain. But I also have to be in the mountains or I'll lose my mind. Something something mountains help my mental state.

#leon bitches #moving #i hope #gotta save up for a bit tho #thinking I'll shoot for early spring #give me time to save up and sell all my shit so i can take as small a uhaul as possible #i just don't want to be here if he's here and was i guess just playing with my emotions #the thought that he was just fucking with me for no real reason hurts so bad i want to start over #I've never felt like this about anyone. ever. in 26 years. #i haven't felt anything about anyone but him in the better part of a decade #i need a new start somewhere new. somewhere as cold as i feel. #where maybe i can find people who give a fuck about me. #I'm just so done here.

[blissfali]

oh im gonna be feelin it todya <- hasnt had her meds in 4 days

#not only will i have the motivation of a frog #i will also be having the cheese migraine of my life #And its already STARTING #Ill have them after school TODAY HOPEFULLY #but for the next 8 hours im gonna be wanting to shoot myself #Dude my head hurts so bad already its only 9am #i get the worst fucking migraines if i suddenly stop taking them but my pharmacy is being stupid dumb dumb

[pepprs]

literally the only reason i am not in as bad a mental health place as i was in in december is bc i’m done w school now and i never have to go back or deal with being a student again if i don’t want to and also bc i know there is a high likelihood that there are some big important helpful highly desired changes on my horizon in the next few months and years. but i am really not doing good right now

#purrs #scotus leaked draft + buffalo shooting + dallas shooting + uvalde shooting + monkeypox + covid cases rising + losing my last 3 weeks of #college and graduation + losing my freedom for who knows how long and moving back home + friends and family getting covid + pushing myself #to the limit finishing my capstone + watching my loved ones suffer with the situations in their own lives = is it ethical to bring children #into this world is it reasonable to think that i will one day live with autonomy again and find a romantic partner and have a pet and enjoy #my life and see all the people i love doing the same. all ive been able to do this week outside of finishing school my job application etc #is doomscroll about the shootings and covid and monkeypox when i really should be doomscrollimg through my fucking save tag that i curated #specifically to counteract these situations and give me reasons to find hope but i don’t have the strength or see the point bc im only gonn #lose the hope again. but i know there’s a point but i can’t get myself to see it and maybe it’s bc km just so exhausted but idk. and one of #the WORST parts of this is that if the job works out i am going to have to understand that people will look at me differently part of which #means that people — STUDENTS like i just was 2 days ago!!! — will look to me expecting that i have answers or at the very least hope and i #literally do not have hope right now and after national events this month i don’t know if i’ll ever feel hope again. so it’s like fuck i #wont be able to do my fucking job that i feel called to do and want to do more than anything lol. but i already won’t be able to do it bc t #the chances that i can go to [insert convferwrnce] when it involves being on a plane and navigating people who won’t wear masks are so low #and * already snarked about it to me yesterday which really hurt my feelings like i don’t think she was trying to be mean but it’s like yes #the fuck i can hide in the van forever i do NOT want to get covid. but i also do not want to miss [conference] and it’s just so stupid that #im going to have to keep making these choices because this nightmare country has decided covid doesn’t exist anymore. idk lol #i know everything in my life could be a lot worse and also that it is objectively WORLDS better than it was very recently bc i graduated an #im done now. but this month has sucked so unbelievably bad and June is also going to be hard and im just scared i will never be happy or #hopeful again or that every time i am something new will knock it down (which is a given living in the usa lol) and that it would be #unethical to try to do the BASIC bare minimum things i have always wanted to do in my life. lole #negative tw #ask to tag #abortion tw #shooting tw #mass shooting tw #monkeypox tw

[apelcini]

the vice principal is so fucking mad a student tried to kill himself on school time and she is absolutely taking it out on me

#suicide tw #on monday he told me to tell one of our close friends and she ran to the bathroom and started crying #and the next morning i got in trouble for ‘’unnerving other students’’ #sorry not sorry i did it on school grounds at the end of the day #would you rather me shoot her a text message when she’s at home with nobody but her christian parents to comfort her #texting her like ‘’hey lol you won’t believe what irrevocable tragedy almost happened’’ #fuck u #‘’you have to think about the community environment’’ i don’t have to give two shits actually #people think that just because i don’t cry that i’m not hurting too #i become an acceptable target for their blame because nobody wants to be angry at a suicidal kid that makes them feel bad #but i’m the one who gets in the same trouble he does #so they can blame the whole situation on me #because i’m not sad and fragile just angry and restless so clearly i’m stable and just defiant

[azems-familiar]

another month before i can see the doctor for potential carpal tunnel issues. my hands, wrists, and elbows hurt every day and it's so frustrating because it makes it hard for me to do things like sit down and focus on writing when every press of a key makes my entire lower arm ache - i think it's nerve pain, it doesn't quite feel like the tendon pain i get in my knees, it might be a mix of both, but either way it's uncomfortable. and the random tingling/"falling asleep" feelings in my fingers are starting to happen more frequently, which isn't helpful either.

on TOP of all that, it's been 8.5 months and i'm still sick with whatever this undiagnosed GI issue is. i'm supposed to have my 6 month followup with the GI specialist later this month, but i don't expect much, since all they did was do an endoscopy, tell me nothing was wrong with me, that it'd get better in a few months, and send me on my way. well it sure hasn't done that and i really don't want to lose more than the 40 lbs i've already lost this year because i can't fucking eat anything.

all that to say.... if you've been wondering why i haven't been producing a lot of writing recently, this, on top of the unmedicated depression/ADHD/anxiety, is why. my body refuses to cooperate when my brain does.

#ramblings #i've managed to get out bits and pieces of things #but half the stuff i've written this year isn't something i can post yet (or ever) #like the 10k words of dubcon i wrote in the hp au that i can't post without more context #probably. #it's just. god i want to write but making it actually happen is so hard #right now half of my right hand has this deep ache in it that shoots all the way up into my elbow and doesn't even quite feel like pain #it feels. tweaked. and tired. and locked up and like it needs to stretch and pop and *sore* but not muscle-sore #every time i move my fingers i can feel it #my left hand/wrist doesn't hurt so bad right now fingers crossed it stays that way #i know it's wrist pain because it radiates up From the wrist #ow. ow. ow. ow

[sunlightfeeling]

god i forgot how much i liked that cohost hid a lot of metrics…

(much ranting in the tags…)

#im despising the note counter again…. #ramblin but not a gamblin man #but i really REALLY didnt like how cohost completely felt like a void #…​like genuinely felt like an isolation room or smth… #why can’t i just opt out #i have my notifications turned off again for sanity #but I don’t like seeing everyone else’s lol #…​they make me feel bad…. #and yeah i guess it has to do with smaller fandom but that’s kind of part of why it sucks #i want new content that’s not just made by the small group that we are #i want fuckin dedicated tags and a line of people making new things….even if the stuff we use is old #there are so many smasmas that have NEVER been giffed #so many dramas #(even though for a lot of these there’s like negative incentive to make anything for….) #but you know what sucks the most…. #no matter how much we love the stuff and do it because we like it….we are hoping that it will get shared….be known…. #im trying so hard not to pressure myself to gif every little thing #which is part of why im posting more and more clips #but it hurts seeing the note count that other fandoms get even in such a short time….and just being grateful-enjoying the ones i receive #i don’t know how much this shit makes sense #and im honestly so tired of getting upset by this time and time again but it hurts #i hate being part of an actually small fandom lol #..​that’s basically it….i guess #or one that’s small until someone random reblogs it and shoots the note count up #and I really can’t explain why that makes me more upset than happy but it actually really does lol #how many times am i going to talk about these and go in circles? way too many #i ruminate….its what i do…always been that way…got on my ex’s fuckin nerves lmfao……

[savingthrcw]

.

#also on one hand i want to stick with the fact that jenny would try so hard not to ever kill anyone again like her father would want #(at least in her head) (hey they told her what happened after her first death) #on the other I want Jenny to bond with someone and shoot a bad guy NOT because it was the only choice or they'd kil her loved one #but because they were going to HURT ther loved ones even if death wasn't on the table because she's so traumatized by the pain she felt #that she'd be such a dangerous protector

[katzenmas]

Simon acts all high and mighty, making fun of Soap for being horrendously cheesy and in love with his girlfriend. Always making jabs at the sergeant, rolling his eyes every time you facetime Soap or send him a cute little picture of yourself.

"pull yourself together MacTavish" Ghost bites out when Soap finishes yet another rant of how beautiful you are.

All this and the second Simon gets to his bunk he's frantically pulling down his pants and rutting into his hand like a teenager because you said a simple 'Hi Ghost!' today while on a call with Soap.

Gripping the base of his grithy cock Simon imagines sinking into your wet, fluttering cunt and hammering away until you're so cockdrunk your eyes cross and every single thought leaves your mind.

He can't even feel guilty that he's jerking it to Soap's girl. You are so kind and soft, he really cant help it. His cock pulses in his hand as he imagines you splayed out on his dingy bed, chest heaving and nipples standing at attention. Small whimpers leaving your beautiful mouth and he teases your clit with the head of his cock, his piercing catching on your small hood, sending your knees into a shaking frenzy.

He can almost hear how you'd beg for him to 'just put it in Simon' and he would because how can he say no to such a beautiful creature, all pliant and teary eyed just begging for his thick dick.

Simon wants to think he would go slow, cherish the moment, make you cum at least two times before he can even think about his own release, but the truth is he would be balls deep in the first stroke. wildly plunging in and out of your sopping warmth, selfishly chasing his own high while you moan and writhe underneath his strong figure.

That's how shoots a load onto his stomach, sullying his black shirt. with the image of you looking up at him with teary eyes and begging to 'inside- please Si come inside! f-fill me up'. he goes limp, his hand still holding his softening cock, small spurts of spunk combing through his post orgasmic haze.

When he comes to and his mind stops buzzing he doesn't even feel bad. he knows he would probably never get even a minute alone with you so these fantasies are all he has and they hurt no one so what's there to feel bad about?

#cod mwii #cod headcanons #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #ghost smut #ghost x reader #ghost headcanons #cod smut #call of duty x reader #call of duty smut

[anomiidae]

not to be vulnerable on main but i was uh in a situation with an active shooter and uh hearing fireworks is really getting to me

#they uh. sound a lot more bullets than you'd think. even the loud ones with a deeper toned ones #so the place i live they're doing firework shows but people are doing their own in typical american fashion #SO before i found my headphones i was having a bad time and uh i'm still kinda panicky haha #ASK ME TO TAG PLS IF YOU NEED IT i know this is a seriously heavy thing and i don't want anyone to be hurt by seeing me venting #venting #tw gun mention #tw shooting mention #speech bubbles

[anticanonsposts]

sex drought :(

nsfw-mdni, but also fluff

One time you go through a sex drought because he accidentally hurt you during sex

everything was going fine...

you guys were having sex in missionary and it was feeling amazing

but then...

he reached his right arm up and tried to grab your right wrist

(he was gonna bring your hand down so you could feel where your bodies were connected)

however you tried to reposition and prop yourself up on your elbows at the same time

and his knuckles collided with the side of your temple

his eyes shoot to you to see if you're ok and you verbally assure him you are

however seconds later you start crying while still telling him you are fine

i do not mean this lightly when i say this man freaks the fuck out

he immediately pulls away from you (and out of you) positioning you so you are in more of a sitting up position

he gently cradles your head and kisses whee he bumped into you

this is followed by man 'bitte bitte' 'i'm so sorry, please forgive me schatz'

you repeatedly say that its ok but he just shakes his head

for the next couple weeks anytime you mention needing to get up and grab something or do something he is already up at the speed of light, grabbing it for you

god forbid there is a small red mark on your face that sticks around for a couple days and guy's heart WRENCHES every time he notices it

even after a lot of reassurance that you were fine and you understood it was an accident he would not touch you sexually for so long (probably like a week and a half)

during this time no matter how much you teased, begged, pleaded with him he would not fuck you....ok jk

after weighing the pros and cons he would resort to just giving you head but would not allow you to do anything for him afterward

(he would usually just go rub one out in the bathroom afterwards)

when you finally do have sex again, the first few times he treats you like you are quite literally made of glass

and insists that you be the one in charge, calling the shots, feels a lot of relief when you are on top of him because he sees it as less risky

he just feels so bad that he hurt his perfect fucking angel and will probably always remember this

he always just wants to make you feel so safe with him and doesn't want anything to threaten that

(I have an increasingly unhealthy attachment to this man)

#könig smut #könig #könig x reader #könig cod #konig smut #konig x reader #call of duty smut #call of duty modern warfare #cod smut #cod mw2 #konig mw2 #konig cod #könig blurb #könig imagine #könig x you #konig blurb #konig imagine

[king-sassy08]

Hate when people say some shit like "if you're stressed out just go outside and yell!" to some kind of repressed freak. I've been containing my emotions in me for the past like 15 years. You think I can go outside and yell for five seconds and feel better. I'm like will Graham, if I start I'm not gonna fucking stop

#jay jabbers #when i get stressed out i start screaming in my brain and its so loud it hurts my ears and by the time im done #actual me is out of breath because i start breathing super hard where im trying so hard to be normal #people with healthy coping mechanisms i envy you #people with mental health and support systems i hate you i envy you i want what you have so bad #sitting in the car cause my leg hurts and if one more fucking thing happens i swear im going to start screaming for real #i can only be called stupid so many times in one day. #AND IM FUCKING NOT!!!!! #i graduated with a 3.98 of 4.0 GPA. i am not fucking stupid i am not fuxking stupid i am fucking not fucking stupid fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!! #i wish people would stop treating me like im a fucking imbecile i speak two languages i can critically think im not fucking stuoid #i swear to god im gonna go postal #jay fucking rambles i guess #im gonna kill myself. i swear im THIS close to just shooting myself