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russellsppttemplates · 7 months

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We're a couple of idiots, aren't we? (Charles Leclerc)

You had always been there to see Charles race and you wouldn't let your fight interfere with that

Note: english is not my first language. I'm not the best at writing angst pieces, but I hope this one is decent enough!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: family issues (alludes to the caregiver necessities), couple fight

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

It all began when you came home later than expected, the tiredness evident in your eyes as you paced your bag down on the sofa and allowed yourself to rest for a little, "Hey, amour", Charles whispered, testing to see if you were awake as he walked inside the living room, "hey", you said, patting the seat next to you.

Kissing your forehead, Charles sat next to you, "how was your day?", he asked, rubbing your thigh, "exhausting", you sighed, "and the next few are going to be even worse. I probably won't be home for dinner tomorrow anyway".

Charles felt uneasy, squirming around in his seat. You had been working a lot, your family also needed you on their side since your grandparents needed more assistance these days, so you and Charles haven't been able to spend that much time together. And wether it was the fact that you're used to being around eachother or the fact that the season was not going as expected, Charles felt like he hadn't spent enough time with the person he considered his safe and happy place.

"You have been very busy, I feel like I've hardly spent time with you", Charles noted, and maybe it was a seemingly honest comment that wasn't intended to be taken as harmful as you did.

"I know I've not been home, Charles, you think I don't feel that too? I know we haven't spent much time together just the two of us, but it's not been easy! Everyone needs me here, there and everywhere at the same time, and I also need time for me!", you let out.

Unexpectedly, your words also impacted Charles in a way you didn't think they would, "I know you've been busy, but we also need to spend time together, no? Or is our relationship not something we should invest time on? In a relationship, we both need eachother", he gulped. A weird and new feeling sat in his chest, like he was pressuring you and that he was burdening you.

"We do, but we also need to let eachother have some time, too!", you said, feeling anger, sadness, and overall tiredness from your recent days, "I'm going to bed", you mumbled, getting up and heading for your shared bedroom.

The energy you had left in your body was only enough to allow you to wash your face, noticing the dull and dark tone as you quickly rubbed some moisturiser on, grabbing your pyjamas to out them on and lay in bed, taking a painkiller for the growing headache.

When Charles finally go to the bedroom, he noticed you were already asleep on your side of the bed, carefully walking along the side so he could kiss your forehead before he too got ready for bed.

By the time the next morning arrived, Charles had ready left, and when you grabbed your phone, notifications from various WhatsApp groups popped up.

Mum + Dad

Can you go by grandma's house today? She was complaining of some pain and we can't remember if her meds box is sorted out or not.

Ferrari GP Weekend

Okay, just to make sure I'm not leaving anyone out: Y/N, you're not coming this weekend, right?

Since your family had been needing you to spend more time with them and at home, you had already said that you weren't sure you'd be joining them for that Grand Prix, and last night's fight settled the subject.

Texting both of the groups, you got up and got ready for the day, already knowing it was going to be a tough one.

You and Charles didn't fight a lot, at least not like this. Usually, you always found a way to talk about things and sort them out. So even this was new territory, not having talked about the subject and finding a common ground, because the situation you both left it at the night before was not the one to have.

Throughout the day, you hopefully texted Charles saying that you'd try to be home so you could talk to eachother before he left later on the evening, and while you intended to keep it, you had to text him again

To Charles

I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be home until nighttime. My grandma needs me and it's going to take a while.

Have a safe flight. Can you text me when you land, please? Love you ✨️

True to your word, you sat in your bedroom with the moon already shinning through the windows and showcasing perfectly Charles' bedside table with none of his rings, watch and bracelets where he usually put them when he was at the house.

"Why did I arrive to the paddock today only to find out that you are not joining me this weekend?", Francisca said over the phone, apparently not even bothering to wish you a good morning, even though it clearly wasn't one.

"Because I've been the busiest bee ever under the sun, and I also had a fight with Charles, and I need to sleep for three days straight to recover", you replied back, noticing the change in Pierre's girlfriend's tone.

"Oh", she added, "I'm sorry, it's just that you're always here and I haven't been able to talk to him properly yet, maybe it's a good thing I haven't yet", she admitted.

One thing you liked about her, was how honest she was with you, and you needed it right now, "do you think I should go? We left the subject hanging and it's not something light we can just solve over the phone. And besides, I've always been there for these races, and he deserves as much support as he can get", you asked, chewing on your bottom lip as you waited for her answer.

"I have no idea why you fought, nor do I want to know unless you feel comfortable in telling me, but I do know that you're made for eachother, so if your heart tells you to come to the race, you should", she advised and you could hear the smile on her voice, "besides, I love your company, so it's a win win".

From all the times you had previously travelled with Charles, you had become acquainted and a pro a listing what you needed for the race weekends, so packing was easy and quick: two changes of clothes for both colder and warmer weather, basic toiletries bag in a backpack with entertainment and snacks for the flight.

The early hours allowed you to get to the airport without any traffic and make it to the gate with enough time to spare so you could grab a coffee to go.

Francisca knew you were coming, and after having a conversation with your family, you explained to them how the whole situation was putting pressure not only on you but also on your relationship with Charles. As you expected, they were not aware of how the situation was on your side and sat down with you so you could find a better arrangement.

Arriving at the airport of destination, you quickly found the transport line that would be taking you to the closest stop near the paddock, gradually seeing fans get inside as the stops approached the track site.

You followed them in, wanting to go as unnoticed as possible as you walked along them.

"I just saw on Instagram that Charles had left his hotel a while ago, so he should be here any minute now", a young woman around your age commented with her friends, stopping by the benches you were sitting in. Turns out you were waiting for the same person after all.

"Is it okay if we sit here?", one of them asked kindly, "Oh, you're Y/N", one of the girls said.

Nodding, you pushed your backpack to rest near your legs, "of course you can sit", you smiled, still not used to the fact that fans often recognised your face.

"Thanks!", she scurried nervously, urging her friends to sit, seeing their surprised faces as they looked at you, "Also, I'm sorry, I'm sure this is weird for you, that I know your name and you don't know mine, I- we didn't expect to find you here", she apoligised, finally sitting down.

"It's okay, unless you're going to turn out to be come crazy stalker fan, I think we will be fine", you smiled, hoping they would catch the joke and relax a little.

"No no no!", they all said, smiling when you smiled back, "but, may I ask what you're doing here? I mean, don't you have an all access pass?", one of them wondered as she sat next to you.

"I'm surprising Charles, actually", you added, feeling like saying anything else would not only be violating yours and Charles' privacy, but also allowing the creation of rumours you wouldn't want, "I wasn't originally coming to see him race, but some things cleared up on my calendar so I thought I'd surprise him", you finished, seeing them smile, "do you come to watch races regularly?", you asked, changing the subject hopefully subtly enough that they wouldn't notice too much.

Conversation was flowing easily, really, they seemed like really nice girls and it never felt invasive, so the time you had to wait went by quickly, hearing people call your boyfriend's name.

You could notice his presence anywhere, that was a given. Wether it was his well trained torso that made spotting him even from his back, or his handsome face, it wasn't hard yo miss him even surrounded by fans who were wearing the same t-shirt as him.

"Let me stand around you so he won't notice me", you said, "with how enamoured he is of you, I'm sure it won't be long", one of the girls, named Lyla, you learned, spoke, wanting to see the scene unfold as he approached you.

"Hi!", Charles greeted, posing for the pictures while he signed the caps they had, not noticing your hand holding one of his own caps was in the mix.

"Charles! Can you sign this, please?", you asked, hoping you were loud enough, "I was not coming to see you race today, but I'm very happy I did", you almost yelled, thanking the fact that the other girls had helped you by keeping quiet until he realised you were there.

It was enough for Charles to recognise the voice. After all, he had been longing to hear it for the past couple of days.

"Y/N, you're here!", he called, handing Lyla the permanent marker before he hugged you, "I missed you so much, I'm sorry", he whispered on your ear before pulling back a little so he could look you in the eye, "you don't have a pass, do you?", he wondered, seeing you shake your head, "I'll see what I can do, but you're coming with me", he smiled, holding your hand in his and bidding goodbye to the group of girls after you all took a group picture.

The rush until you arrived in his driver's room didn't allow you to talk until you sat on the sofa after greeting everyone and thanking one of the team members for getting you a pass on such short notice.

"Do you think we can talk about it? I don't want to ruin the race by distracting you from it, but I don't think we should be here and not discuss it either", you brought the subject, looking up to see Charles push a chair and sit in front of you, "I want to apologise first", you said, "I never should have said what I said, especially the way I said it, I'm sorry", you apologised, "I never intended it in a way that would hurt you".

Charles grabbed your hands, lacing them in his and looking into your eyes, "I'm sorry, too. I think we should talk about it, too. I want this to be solved, I want us to be well", he admitted.

"My grandparents have been needing a bit more help, and my parents counted on me for it. And I feel like I haven't spent that much time with you, and I'm so sorry for it, but sometimes it just got too much. And I didn't want to burden you, you have your own things to worry about and this would be another thing. They're better now and this was probably a bad phase, but still", you explained.

Charles chuckled before he saw the confusion on your face, "no, I'm joking about this, amour. I'm glad they're better", he reasoned, "but I thought I was being a burden because I felt like I was clingy, like I needed you more than usual and that you had had enough. I didn't want to put more on your plate", he sighed.

Smiling at him, you moved your hand to caress his cheek, "you could never be too much, Charles. Sometimes I just need to deal with things on my own for a bit, even if there is help from someone else", you blushed.

"I know you need me to give you the space you need, that's why I didn't want to push you to talk about things, because as much as I want to craddle you in my arms forever and shield you away from the world's evil, I know you like to do things on your own, at least at first", he noted, earning your silent agreement, "but I'm here for you, always. I'm glad we worked that out", he smiled, pulling your face to his and kissing you deeply, only stopping when someone knocked on the door.

"I heard my favourite girl is back in the paddock, so I suggest you come out because I'm not feeling like I want to see whatever is going on there", your recognised Francisca's voice, getting up and opening the door to see Pierre by her side, "I told her she shouldn't interrupt you two, but she was very excited to know how the surprise went", he smiled.

"A very good surprise indeed, the best one ever", Charles said, pulling you in for one last kiss before he ventured out to the garage, a new feeling of confidence knowing you were there to watch him race.

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

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feral-ballad · 3 months

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Love is also continued frustration. It’s anger. It’s hurting. It’s denying it for months and only seeing its presence, for the first time, in a memory. It is not always just the butterfly chase that you expected. Sometimes it’s also resentment. It’s embarrassment. It’s putting all of your dreams on hold, totally swept in not realising. It’s endurance. It’s anguish. It’s not what you wanted, not what you went looking for in your absent search for the next thing. It’s intoxicating, it’s routine, it’s hard goddamn work. But they don’t tell you that. Or maybe they do. Maybe you weren’t listening. Maybe you were hanging off the end of a feeling late night WhatsApps gave you. Hanging off the end of movies, of prematurely-written poetry you’d penned in hope of one day arriving there with a person. It’s horrid. It’s gross. It’s real and it stinks in a romantic putrid parma violet sweetness. So today you hate yourself for thinking you knew what love was but when it arrived you couldn’t send it back quick enough. Laying in your pants on the sofa with last night’s curry reheated screaming to no one but the ceiling.

Charly Cox, from She Must Be Mad; “love part 2”

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bangtanficsforyou · 1 year

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They Reject You (maknae line)- part two

Pairing: Bts maknae line x Reader

Word Count: 8.8K

Warnings: swear words here and there

A/N: here's my patreon just in case you enjoy reading my stuff!

Park Jimin

Jimin's eyes light up when he spots you in the cafeteria. You're sitting alone with a cup of coffee and typing away something on your laptop and he can't help but feel like the chair next to you is practically calling for him.

He makes a quick beeline towards your table and occupies the seat. "Hey, sweetheart."

You don't bother looking up at him as your eyes remain fixed on the screen.

"You shouldn't be sitting alone, if you needed company you could have just texted me," he suggests taking hold of your coffee cup. His plump lips wrap around the straw and he draws up the liquid extra loudly, knowing very well that the noise annoys you.

However, you pay no attention to his lack of table manners.

"Do you know we were supposed to have an exam today but it got cancelled?" He speaks in a tone of disappointment, knowing you'd agree with him. It's one of your icks when you've worked hard for something and have shown up for it, but ultimately do not get the chance to prove yourself.

But you still remain focused on your work and give no reaction or response.

At this point, Jimin finds himself feeling curious as to what might be so important in your laptop that it has all your attention. He leans forward to take a peek and realises that you're working on an assignment.

"Assignments are now more important than me, I see," sighing dramatically he looks down as if upset by your lack of acknowledgement. Not even a moment later he looks up subtly to check if you're looking at him.

When he realises that you aren't, the slightest bit of annoyance sparks inside him.

"If you're not going to talk to me, I should just leave," he keeps his tone casual, not intending to let the fact that he's feeling grumpy, be known.

You tilt your head cutely and mumble something along the lines of vertices having a degree two to yourself.

Jimin's jaw drops in complete shock. The last time you two had a proper chat was three days back and now that he's trying to talk to you, this is how you treat him?! If that's what you want, fine. He isn't going to sit here and beg you to pay attention to him.

"Fine, I'll leave. I have better stuff to do anyway," he grumbles and takes his leave.

If anyone were to take notice of Jimin's expressions, they'd probably end up laughing. He looks angry but that little pout on his lips and the sad look in his eyes makes him look like a little child throwing tantrums.

It's a good thing your eyes are not on him. Not even when he makes his leave.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Two classes later, Jimin is scrolling through his Instagram when he comes across a reel of a cute puppy doing the usual puppy antics. His first instinct is to send it to you. However, when he clicks on the share button, he doesn't find your account on the list of people to send. His brows furrow in confusion and he types your account id on the search bar only for the screen to read a message saying no matches found.

Have you....have you blocked him?

He exits the application and opens WhatsApp. When his eyes land on your contact he notices how your profile picture is appearing to be blank and it only makes him desperately type out a message to you.

Throughout the class, he keeps hoping that he'd notice a double tick to assure him that you haven't blocked him but unfortunately, no such thing occurs.

At the end of the day, he goes to sleep with a displeased frown. How could you do this? How could you just ignore him during recess and then block him on social media out of nowhere? He didn't even do anything wrong.

Did he?

He tries to recall the last time the both of you had a proper conversation and his mind goes to the events that occurred on the night of the frat party.

It's true that you had snapped at him and that the conversation you had, would not fall under the category of 'friendly'. But he didn't think it was serious, either. Both of you had silly arguments here and there, but it never seemed to matter in the long run. Somehow or the other, Jimin always managed to get under your skin and get a reaction out of you. Sooner or later, the two of you would fall back to the rhythm of him annoying the shit out of you and you talking back to him.

The more Jimin recalls the little fiery banters you two have engaged in, in the past, the more his confidence grows. He tells himself this time would be no different. It may take a little more time but Jimin is sure you'll be talking to him again.

It's true that you have never blocked him before. Or never have downright ignored him like this. Even when you would appear to be mad, there was always that little twitch of your eyes or you poking the inside of your cheeks with your tongue, which let him know that he was being successful.

But it doesn't matter.

Maybe you're really really mad at him this time. But he's sure he will melt that anger away with his smile and charm.

It works on everyone, no doubt it will work on you as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------

With a wide confident smirk plastered on his face, he walks into your classroom and looks for you.

His smirk softens into a small smile when he spots you with your head buried in books.

He ignores the hushed whispers and the dreamy stares and walks to your seat before sliding next to you.

"Hey sweetheart," he says, putting the effort to make his voice extra sultry and smooth. That always works on the girls.

And for a moment, Jimin thinks he has won when he notices the look of complete surprise on your face. However, his victory is short-lived as your surprise fades quickly and once it does you're back to your work without paying him any mind.

"I got you a gift," he places the said gift on top of your notebook. A rose. "I looked at it and it reminded me of you."

Your hands falter for a brief moment as the nib of your pen is met by the flower. You use your other hand to move the flower out of your way.

Jimin huffs. He is starting to get annoyed and there's this sense of unsettlement in his veins but he tries to look amused. If there's one thing that bothered you to no end, it was when he found your anger as a source of his amusement.

"Awww," he coos with an underlying tone of mockery. "Are you angry at me?"

You don't react. Jimin is neither surprised nor flattered.

"It's so cute though," he comments, and only if you were looking at him would you have known it's only his voice that gives the faux impression of him being amused. His eyes, his frown even the curve of his lips don't hide the fact that he is anything but not amused.

Jimin feels a mix of frustration and desperation, which makes him snatch the pen away from your hand.

You seem startled by his actions but instead of arguing with him for being such a pain in the ass, your hand makes its way to your pencil pouch. However, before you can take another pen out, Jimin is taking that away from you as well.

"You aren't getting these back until you talk to me," he declares, as he hugs the pouch and your pen close to his chest as if shielding them away from you.

You sigh, not out of agitation or anger. You seem bored. Something that scares and hurts Jimin, at the same time.

"What do you want?" You query, finally talking to him directly. After four days.

"What do you mean by what do you want?" He scoffs, making air quotes to mock your question. "You aren't talking to me and have blocked me on socials. What do you think I want?"

You sigh, once again and once again you look bored. As if you'd prefer to be anywhere but here. "I thought you had a reputation for being a fuckboy or something."

Jimin's brow furrow in confusion. "What does that have anything to do with this?"

"As a fuckboy whose commitment lasts for only one night, you must have faced many instances where you just wanted the girl to just take the hint," you state, speaking in a tone that's so calm that it makes Jimin squirm in discomfort. "Wonder why then, do you not know when to take the hint yourself."

His eyes fall and suddenly all traces of anger and frustration is gone and is replaced by sadness. Jimin looks a like sad kid who has just been told Santa isn't real.

The look in Jimin's eyes catches you by surprise. He is an expert at making sad eyes to lure someone in. You know that because you have been a victim of it. But Jimin's eyes always had that little spark in them. Something that gave away his act and highlighted the mischief brewing within them. Something that let you on the fact that he's only pretending to be sad.

However, now that you look into his eyes, they just seem dull. Making it seem like Jimin is sad, maybe for real this time.

You ignore the urge you feel to comfort him and maintain a blank face. Why should you even feel bad for choosing yourself? How many times has he thought or cared about his words and how they have made you feel? How many times was he there to wipe the tears that he made you cry?

Not even once.

You may be someone who's tough and headstrong but you're also just as soft and loving on the inside. If you give in now and comfort him just to see him happy, you know you will be repeating the same cycle with yourself. And it would be so damn toxic.

"Are you really not going to talk to me?" He whispers, in a soft voice.

"I don't want to, trust me." This time your voice is not cold. This time you sound like you. The you, Jimin is familiar with. You don't even seem mad. And that's exactly how Jimin knows that you mean what you're saying.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has had a tough week.

Nothing out of the ordinary, perse. He has been going to parties, has been getting drunk and has been the same him. But maybe that's exactly why he is having a tough time. Because despite doing regular 'Jimin' things, he hasn't been feeling like himself.

He doesn't even know what's wrong. Or maybe he does, he just wants to ignore it and pretend that everything is fine. That he's fine.

He does his classes and tries his best to focus on the material that's being taught but somehow or the other, he zones out.

But it's not like it's a big deal. It's normal and all cool. He's fine.

During football practice, he misses the opportunities that present themselves to him as if he's a blind man.

But again, that's normal, right? Even the best of players make mistakes. Who's Jimin to not make one? It's fine. He's fine.

During lunch, he accidentally puts pepper instead of salt in his food. But that's also normal! Nothing out of the ordinary.

He's fine.

He repeats these two words in his mind as he makes his way to the next class. However, he is met by a sight that has his steps halting.

It's you.

You have your head thrown back and you're laughing at something your friend said.

The scene causes a stir of emotions inside him.

One of the first things he feels is longing. Any other time he would deny it with everything in his being but now that you're in front of him like this, he simply can't. He misses you. He misses talking to you. He misses teasing you. He misses how your nose would scrunch up in annoyance. He misses the way you would chew on your lower lip to hold back from smiling.

He misses everything about you.

The next emotion that hits him is anger. Here he is, feeling like he can't act and function normally without you, and there you are totally unbothered.

The thought also scares him. What if, what if you just don't care about him anymore?

If that so happens to be the case, Jimin at least needs to know for sure. He can't be going around like this with a hole in his chest and having unanswered questions in his mind regarding what exactly happened for you to suddenly cut him off like this.

So, the next thing he knows, he's walking towards you. Ignoring the surprised look on your face, he grabs the courage to speak.

"Can I talk to you for two minutes?"

You look at your watch simply because you need to make an excuse as to why you can't give him the two minutes. "Sorry, I have to head for my class."

Jimin nods, having expected something like that. "We can talk while walking. I'll drop you to your class."

"You don't need to–"

"I want to," he cuts you off with a determined look on his face, not willing to take no for an answer.

Truth be told, you have no intention of talking to him. But somewhere, at the back of your mind, you're curious as to what he might have to say. After all, after one whole week of Jimin not trying to bug you, you had honestly assumed that that was the end of whatever friendship (if you can even call it that) you two had.

Jimin takes note of the indecisive look on your face and before you can come to a negative decision, he takes hold of your hand and gently tugs you to a side.

"What–"

"I am sorry but I had to," he says with a tone that conveys nothing but sincerity.

You're half pissed at Jimin's behaviour but you ignore it nevertheless, thinking that whatever it is that he has to say, it must be serious. Because you have never seen Jimin being like this before.

"Whatever you want to say, make it quick," you say with a sigh.

"Why are you cutting me off like this?" Jimin's words are out of his mouth the moment he knows that you're ready to listen to him. It's like he has been waiting for ages to ask you this particular question.

Your brows furrow for a split second before you scoff. "Is that what this is all about?"

He is confused as to why you're looking at him as if he has asked a really stupid question.

"Yes?" He responds hesitantly.

You sigh once again, this time much louder and in disbelief. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe this," you mutter to yourself before looking at Jimin and he does not miss the gleam in your eyes.

"Let me spell it out for you, you were an asshole to me," you state, your voice having a certain hint of anger to them.

"A-Asshole? How?" He stutters, looking even more confused than before.

"You knew I had feelings for you, but you couldn't give two shits about it. I had no issues with you not liking me back, but rubbing all your sexual escapades on my face, and flirting with me is a total disregard and disrespect to how I feel."

"I didn't–"

"It doesn't take much for someone to realise that. Anyone with the minimum common sense can figure that out for themselves. But just because your feelings have always been shallow does not mean that the people around you are shallow as well."

There are a lot of responses that come to Jimin's mind but he knows none of those are good enough.

"Do you know how much of a fool I felt when you were being ignorant of the fact that I am a person who feels? I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn't even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve."

Each word of yours hits him like a bullet but he thinks this has been a long time coming. He is willing to take as many hits as it requires, but he just hopes this is not the end. That somehow he gets to redeem himself. No matter how difficult it is.

"But at some point, you realise that you shouldn't put up with someone who doesn't appreciate you. I know how I deserve to be treated and it's obvious that you don't know how to treat a woman with respect. Hence, I'm afraid we can't be….friends anymore."

You paused briefly before using the word friends as if you were not even sure if that's what you two were. And it sure as hell, makes Jimin feel shittier than he did moments ago.

Oh my goodness, he really has messed this up, hasn't he?

When you turn around to leave, Jimin doesn't stop you, knowing very well there's nothing much he can say to prove that you mean much more to him than what he has made you believe.

So he lets you go.

But only with the intention of earning your forgiveness.

Kim Taehyung

February

Tae 🐻: did you reach home?

You: yes, just did!

Tae 🐻: i see

Tae 🐻: take rest and sleep well

Tae 🐻: also, i got a little something for you

Tae 🐻: *image attached*

On clicking the picture, you're greeted with a small little teddy bear that looks adorable in every way possible.

It brings a smile to your face and there's a part of you that knows that it's his way of apologising for the dimmed smile you had throughout the day. His words may have been upsetting but at least he knows the effect they have had on you. And you know he's sorry for it. Mayhaps, that makes it a bit easier for you.

You: it's cute

Tae 🐻: i know

Tae 🐻: that's exactly why it reminded me of you

You chuckle and shake your head softly.

He never leaves a chance to flirt.

--------------------------------------------------------------

April

You: you won't believe what happened

Tae 🐻: what

Tae 🐻: What

Tae 🐻: WHAAATTTT

You: a cat just snuggled against me.

You: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

You: like i used to be so scared of them

You: but now i think they are just soft little balls of fur

You: now i want a cat for myself

Tae 🐻: this is so cute for some reason

Tae 🐻: i can just imagine your bright excited smile *sighs*

Tae 🐻: I'm glad you are not scared of cats anymore 👍😌

Tae 🐻: but but but

Tae 🐻: idk how to feel about you getting a cat

Tae 🐻: what if you get one and then your whole attention is on them and then you forget about me 👉👈

You: 🙄

You: is this supposed to be a joke?

You: can i not have a bear and a cat at the same time???? 😒

You: also, don't worry i doubt the cat can ever get as annoying as you're

You: so in a way, you'll always be special 😌

Tae 🐻: uhh thank you

Tae 🐻: that's very reassuring 🤗💖

You: well why, you're welcome 🤗

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July

Your phone rings making you alert of an incoming call. Checking the screen you realise that it's Tae.

"Hello?" You greet in a sing-song voice, your mood suddenly turning bright.

"Hello, my lady," he greets back in a British accent. "How have you been?"

"Same old, mate, same old," you sigh, mimicking his accent. "Work has been hectic."

"It's even worse that I haven't seen you for so many days" he huffs, his accent gone and voice sounding whiny and complaining. Something that makes you think he has a cute adorable pout on his face.

"I know, work decided to be the biggest bitch ever," which is why you and Taehyung have not been able to find free time to spend with each other.

The lunchtime for his department changed, making it impossible to have lunch together. Your department has way more workload than his does and as a result of which, you always have to stay back at least an hour to complete your share of work.

Taehyung doesn't wait for you or for your work to get done. And in a way, you're glad. You can't imagine how tiring it can be to wait a whole hour after a full day of work when you know you have the option to just go home and lay in bed and do nothing.

Everyone deserves good rest and sleep after spending a whole day in front of a computer and that includes Taehyung. You'd never expect him to wait for you or do anything that would be at the cost of his discomfort.

Anyways, it's not like you and him have been out of touch. You text him about every silly little thing that would occur throughout your day. It could be a lizard staring at you intensely as if judging the way you're brushing your teeth, and Taehyung will be the first person to know about it. Hence, yes you do miss his presence physically but your days have been filled with him.

You both have chatted for hours on end, sometimes via text, other times on a call.

This time is no different. You two end up talking for a whole hour before, he says something that ends with your heart skipping a few too many beats.

"Hey man, I won't say I love you on the phone," he jokes, but there's just something in those words that tells you he knows this isn't just a joke. "That's not fair to the both of us."

It is said out of nowhere, yet it fits the context of the conversation as well as of the situation you both are in.

"Umm, w-well, say it in person I guess." Your cheeks warm up, a bashful smile that is so incredibly shy at the same time, adorning your lips.

"So I will," he whispers as if even though you two are only connected via call, he knows how gentle this moment is and what it means to you.

And then, the conversation is loud again. You with your silliness and him playing along with it and laughing loudly at your antiques.

----------------------------------------------------------------

September

"Why do you look down?" You query as you munch on popcorn.

Taehyung shakes his head, denying anything's wrong. "Nothing, I just feel tired, I guess."

Bullshit. You know Taehyung well enough to know when he's lying. His eyes just twinkle in a certain way as if on alert about being caught.

"Do you want to leave?" You whisper, paying mind to the people around you. The last thing you want is the people in the movie hall shushing you or glaring at you.

He shakes his head, again. This time more vehemently. "No, I want to watch this movie with you."

You sigh but then speak in a gentle tone. "You know you can tell me right? Anything that's bothering you, you can tell me."

Taehyung looks at you and there's that certain look of vulnerability as if he's scared and worried. But whatever it was that he was looking for, he finds it in your eyes. It makes him decide that yes, he can be honest with you.

"Remember Kira? I saw her today and I guess it just triggered something within me."

Kira.

How can you forget that name?

Two months in your friendship and the both of you had discussed your lists of shitty exes and Kira was a topic discussed in detail.

Kira was his first and only girlfriend whom he loved a lot. Their relationship was filled with ups and downs but he never let it come in the way. He was there for her in ways you only see in movies and shows. But alas, things did come to an end.

What hurt Taehyung more than the relationship coming to an end were the comments made by Kira. She didn't stutter while saying that he's just not the kind of guy she's into. He isn't bulky or muscular. He laughs too much and smiles easily. He isn't intimidating and is very gullible and naive.

That...that was what broke him.

You remember the day he told you about Kira. It had made you so angry. How could anyone ever say something like that about a person? If you're not interested you're most welcome to leave but why go an extra step to be an asshole and scar someone?

What was worse was the fact that you could tell Taehyung believed in those words. He thought they were a down point to his character and that it made him unlovable.

It's also since that day, that you have developed this protectiveness over him. He may not see it but he deserves the absolute best. He deserves to know that it isn't difficult to love him at all, in fact, it might just be the easiest thing in the world.

But right now, you know that her words from the past are probably being repeated in his mind over and over again. Hence, it becomes your goal to make him see that those words are not true.

"I understand why it may have been triggering for you," you comment taking hold of his hands and playing with his fingers. "But I assure you, she was only being a bitch because she knew she losing a gem."

Taehyung smiles a smile that does not reach his ears. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm not done yet."

For the first time this evening, the briefest spark of amusement enters his gaze.

"I know she hurt you, but if you need a reminder that what she said to you was total bullshit, I'll serve as one."

Your voice comes out firm but there's that tone of love and affection to it, that is simply unmissable.

"People say and do mean things and they hurt us. But their choice of actions and words define them, not us. At some point, you have got to stop and realise that you can't keep hurting yourself because of what someone has said. It's difficult to do that, I know but that difficulty is worth it. You are worth it."

A small, tiny smile appears on Taehyung's lips at your words. Before he can get the words out to express his gratitude, you're speaking again.

"Also, all those things that she made you feel were unlovable about you, make you just that much more lovable. Because that's what makes you, you."

Once you're done, you feel the insecurity hit you that you may have been a little too passionate or that you went overboard. But Taehyung resting his head on your shoulder and muttering the softest of thank you's makes you relax.

And that's how you watch the rest of the movie. With his head on your shoulders and him constantly wanting some part of his body to be in touch with yours.

---------------------------------------------------------------

December

You were promoted.

You won't say it was out of the blue, you had seen it coming. Despite that, being recognised and awarded for your hard work, felt nice.

But your promotion also meant you were now working in a different branch of your office. Same city, a different building. This also meant the chances of you and Taehyung meeting in between work had slimmed down to zero.

But again, it didn't seem to affect the bond you two shared. You two chatted with each other about your day almost regularly. It just didn't feel right, without telling him about the itsy bitsy details of your day-to-day life.

It was your second week in the new building and by now you had become comfortable enough with the group of fellow employees you were mingling with, for them to ask the very important question. "Do you have someone special in your life?"

The question was asked in good spirits, with raised eyebrows, teasing smiles and mayhaps with an underlying hope that the answer to the question would be 'no' so that they can set you up with the company sweetheart Jeon Jungkook, who you have a hunch, has a crush on you.

Nevertheless, the question makes you stutter.

It's not a difficult question to answer if the answer is a simple yes or no. But in your case, it's not so simple. It's complicated.

But how do you explain it to them?

You don't even know where you and Taehyung lie. You both have never directly addressed the feelings except once or twice. But what does that mean now? Do you two fall under the category of "more than friends, less than lovers"?

You don't know.

You don't know if he still has feelings for you. What if it was just a phase and now all that you two are is just good friends? What if you're the only one who keeps thinking of the time you had confessed and what if you're the only one to whom the moments spent with the other, mean something special?

But what if the opposite is true? What if he still has feelings for you, what if it wasn't just a phase? What if the moments spent with you, mean something to him as well?

Gosh, this indeed is complicated.

You take a deep breath and conclude that irrespective of whatever his feelings for you may be. You're someone who cares for him. A lot.

You don't want to be someone who hurts him, ever. Knowing of the few instances that he has been hurt and the way he has been hurt, you never want to make him feel like he failed at love again. Or that, he isn't worthy of love.

You don't want to assume that Taehyung has feelings for you. At the same time, you don't want to assume that he doesn't. Because you know, if you assume that he doesn't have feelings for you and act accordingly, and then it turns out that he still did, he will feel crushed.

"Let's just say, I do have a certain someone," you answer with a shy smile.

Your new coworkers look disappointed for a brief second, most likely because now they won't be able to play matchmakers but the disappointment is soon replaced by excitement.

Multiple questions are thrown your way to know about this special person and you spend the rest of lunch trying to answer them as swiftly as possible.

--------------------------------------------------------------

February

You: why the 🙄 next to her name?

You ask in reference to him re-posting a status update of a co-worker on Whatsapp. Something about company lunch.

Tae 🐻: cause she's annoying!

You: lmao why so 😂

Tae 🐻: oh boy she has no respect for boundaries

Tae 🐻: her jokes are in such poor taste and inappropriate

Tae 🐻: it's just annoying and hence would explain the emoji choice

You: damn

You: that's harsh

You: but I'll trust your judgement

Tae 🐻: as you should, yes 😒

You: but this has me curious, if you were to put an emoji next to my name, what would it be? 👀

Tae 🐻: damn that's a good question

Tae 🐻: let me think

Tae 🐻: How about this one? ✨

You: huh?

You: that's kind of unique

You: why that one though?

Tae 🐻: because you shine, duh

Tae 🐻: and you light up every room you walk into

Tae 🐻: and this ✨ just suits you

Yet again, you feel the familiar warmth in your chest that at this point is just very common every time you talk to him.

But that doesn't make these little moments any less special for you.

------------------------------------------------------------

March.

Work was extra tiring today. You couldn't catch a breather. Couldn't even go to lunch. Stayed back after work till eleven.

And now here you're, finally home.

While having your ramen, you decide to respond to texts that you haven't and so open WhatsApp.

Once done, you check through the status updates of people. It's always nice to know what fun people have been up to while you were being drained of all energy.

However, you frown when Taehyung's status appears on your screen. There are a few paragraphs written about love and how it can change the way you view life. When the next slide appears, it's a picture of him with a girl. He has his arm casually on the girl's shoulder as they smile at the camera. That added with the heart emoji as the caption causes a weird nervous sensation in your stomach.

You type out a question as a reply to his status.

You: what is all this about? 😂

You add a laughing emoji next to it just to make sure you sound casual and curious.

Taehyung so happens to be online and his response comes quickly.

Tae 🐻: did you not see my status updates? 😂

Tae 🐻: I'm in a relationship ☺️

And just like that, your hands start shaking and the food in front of you gets forgotten.

Jeon Jungkook

It's been almost a month since you confessed to Jungkook.

During the first week, you tried to reach out to him because you were so angsty to just get some sort of response. You didn't care if it was in the negative or was harsh. Anything was better than this. Anything was better than him just straight out ignoring your presence as if you never existed.

You just couldn't understand. Did the friendship you two had mean nothing to him? Did you ever mean anything to him? If you did, how could he possibly treat you this way? Did you not deserve at least a proper explanation as to why he was doing what he was doing?

But after a week, you gave up. Your hurt turned into anger. You didn't care what his possible explanation could be. You did deserve better than this. So you ultimately stopped trying to reach out to him.

It's not like it doesn't bother you. Sometimes, it still does. But the difference is, you have stopped expecting anything from him. And that admittedly, makes it a little easier for you.

"What are we doing today?" Namjoon asks with a bright dimpled smile as he took his seat on the chair.

"Four short interviews and then a late-night show," you reply, quickly opening your pouches to get out the brushes.

He sighs. "Another round of answering what our love life looks like."

You snicker, finding it hilarious how done he looks. "Another round of you answering on behalf of the team that you all are a little too busy to find time for dating."

Namjoon shakes his head. "Sometimes I wish I didn't know English."

The thought makes you laugh with your head thrown back.

"Well I can't imagine anyone else being the spokesperson, it would be damn funny."

You really do think that would be the case. Each of the members has a very distinct personality and just imagining what they would be like, is nothing short of amusing to you.

Your amusement, however, dwindles when your mind comes up with the question about what Jungkook would be like if he were the one translating other members' words into English. But then your mind leads you to imagine how cute his English is, despite being broken. And then your heart ultimately shrank and you had to remind yourself to not think of him.

Namjoon seems to notice your distress and quickly changea the conversation to something else.

Thankfully, it works. There are no other sad moments where your mind goes to Jungkook and you find yourself enjoying your conversation with Namjoon and that was more than enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It's three in the afternoon, you conclude after checking your watch. Which means another interview left and after that the boys can rest, until the late-night show of course. This also, means that there's another hour for you to just relax in the AC room. After that, you will have to get to work to remove Namjoon's makeup.

You lay down on the sofa and scroll through Instagram. What's better entertainment than this?

Your fingers get to work and start scrolling, one meme after the other. Some you find hilarious, some you need to read twice to get and some you simply roll your eyes at. But you guess, that's just how memes are.

However, it's after a few more posts that you find one which simply makes you blink in disbelief.

It's a picture from the news outlet dispatch. The picture in question is of Jungkook's with his arms around a woman. On reading the caption you realise that the said woman is, Niki from the girl group JION. And to no one's surprise, the photo has caused a stir on the internet and apparently, everyone's talking about it.

You exit Instagram and open Google. You search for Jungkook and Niki are immediately met with a bunch of articles. Each of them discusses their possible relationship and whether or not they are dating.

When you feel like you have had enough of the sick churning of your stomach, you close all apps and just shut your phone.

Wow.

This is something.

It leaves you perplexed and with a bunch of emotions, you have no idea how to deal with.

Was he already seeing the woman when you left that note? Gosh, if that's the case, it would be so embarrassing.

Is that why he thought it would be best to just get rid of you? Was that why he made that sudden move out of nowhere? Couldn't he just tell you that he is dating someone else? Learning this from a news outlet, for every reason, feels painful.

It's not even the fact that he is dating someone. It's just the fact that you both have become such strangers that he feels like a distant person you once used to know. All because you decided to trust him with your feelings.

But most likely it didn't matter. Your feelings didn't matter. You're someone who's always behind the scenes, someone who no one knows. But him? He is the world-renowned artist. He is the one who earns in millions and has an army of fangirls, quite literally. Why should he waste his time caring about how you feel? More importantly, why did you expect him to?

It was undoubtedly a mistake on your part to have trusted him. As they say, expectations lead to heartbreaks and maybe you had to learn it the hard way.

But that doesn't mean the pain is anywhere near acceptable. You needed a way to vent your anger, so you do the only thing that comes to your mind.

You block him on all social media sites.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks since the rumour about Jungkook and Niki dating begun and it's still all over the net. Why, you ask? Because the two people involved in the matter aren't helping their case at all.

They have been spotted several times together and thus have been fuelling the rumours further.

It angered you. Weren't idols supposed to be very careful about their relationships? Why were then, these two, flaunting their relationship for the world to see?

You're aware you sound bitter and ridiculous because no one should have to hide if they are dating someone but you just can't help yourself. No matter how hard you try, news about Jungkook and Niki would somehow or the other appear on your feed, be it on insta or Google. It just became unavoidable as these two were everywhere.

The comments didn't help either. People adored them.

Apparently, these two were the perfect match for each other. Both maknaes of their individual groups and both fan favourites.

It made it suck all the more for you.

Argh.

"Have you seen my chapstick?" Namjoon asks as soon as he enters the room. "Hobi just lectured me about how I should always keep my lips moisturised."

"It should be in the drawer," you reply and get up to look for the chapstick. "Let me check once."

As it turns out, it indeed was in the drawer. You hand the small tube to him and as soon as you take a seat again, the door swings open to reveal someone you would have never imagined seeing.

Niki.

"Namjoon oppa," she smiled, putting her dimples on display. "I was looking for you."

Namjoon turned around at the sound of his name. His expression too turns into that of surprise when he realises who it is. "Niki! I didn't know you'd be coming."

Huh, makes the two of us.

The two idols chit chat and you ignore all of it. Simply, because they seem to get along really well and if there's one thing you know about Namjoon it's how protective he is of all the members. But if he likes and approves of Niki, well you guess she and Jungkook might just be the perfect match.

It's not like Niki totally ignores your presence. She shoots you a smile that's sweet and warm, and you smile at her right back. Your's looking a tad bit less sincere.

Thankfully, whatever conversation the two of them were having soon comes to an end and Niki leaves the room.

As soon as it is just you and Namjoon, you blurt out the question you have been wanting to ask for a long time.

"Are they really dating?"

Namjoon doesn't seem too surprised by your question, if anything he looks like he expected it. However, he does look hesitant to answer. "Umm, yes they are."

Shit.

You don't know why you had to ask the question but you did, and now you got your pretty little confirmation and now you're hurting again.

Well, shit, indeed.

But but but, why was Namjoon hesitant to answer? Was he perhaps aware you had feelings for Jungkook? Had Jungkook told him the reason of requesting a change?

Fuck, you should really have kept your curiosity to yourself because now your mind is running wild and it's not helping you at all.

"But, I don't think it's anything serious," Namjoon adds after a beat of silence then nods as if reassuring himself that it was the right thing to say.

It makes you even more paranoid that Namjoon knows about your little more than crush on Jungkook and it makes you want to flee from the spot.

"Uhmmm, I need to pee," you squeak out and immediately shut your eyes because gosh that was stupid.

"Uhh, okay." Thankfully, Namjoon isn't weirded out by your silly choice of words. Instead, he looks amused and there might have been something else in his gaze but you are too embarrassed to take notice.

You quickly leave the room and rush your way to the washroom. As soon as you're in, you splash your face with water.

What the fuck? Does Namjoon know? Does it mean that the other members know too? How are you ever going to face them again?

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This is no good. You should have never confessed. You should never have listened to those excited beats of your heart and to those fluttering butterflies. Look where it got you.

"Don't worry about it, babe. It's all cool, it's all under control now." A voice reaches your ears from one of the stalls in the washroom.

You assume the woman must be talking on the phone and you ignore it.

"Yes, I know how you feel about it but trust me this whole thing with Jungkook should be over in like a few weeks."

Now, that has your ears all perked up in attention.

"You know, I don't even like him like that."

What. The. Fuck.

"I'm not mad at you for it, relax babe, I love you."

And just like that, you hear the toilet flush and the doorknob jiggling followed by Niki stepping out.

You pour the liquid soap on your hand and wash your hands with them just to look like you weren't eavesdropping on her conversation with her babe.

Although, could it really be called eavesdropping when she was speaking so loudly?

Thankfully, Niki doesn't find your behaviour suspicious and leaves the washroom with a small smile lingering on her lips.

Uhh okay then.

This is something.

---------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as the shock dials down and you could think, you knew you had to tell someone.

You don't know what and how to say, though. You can't just claim that Niki is cheating on Jungkook, despite your initial assumption being that. Because people call their siblings babe too right? Or their best friends? Yes, you can't just assume that she's having an affair behind everyone's back.

But what you're plenty sure of and have heard Niki admitting is that she does not have feelings for Jungkook. What the heck is going on then?

Before your mind can start running in circles, the door swings open announcing someone's arrival. Much to your relief, it's Namjoon, someone you can be honest with, without worrying about the technicalities.

"Listen, I need to talk to you about something," you say, your voice coming out nervous yet firm.

Namjoon takes notice of your nervousness and smiles at you warmly, hoping to put you at ease. "Sure, go ahead."

"I went to the washroom and uhm, I heard Niki talking on the phone about something and I think you should know about it."

A small frown appears on Namjoon's face because of all things, he did not expect that what you had to say was anything related to Niki. He, however, keeps quiet and gives you an encouraging hum to go on.

"I–She told someone over the phone that she doesn't really have feelings for Jungkook."

Namjoon looks as shocked as you had been but his shock wears off much much quicker than yours did.

For the first time, he looks a little awkward having this conversation. Scratching the back of his neck, he gives you a small awkward chuckle. "I see what you're saying."

Your first thought to this reaction is that he does not believe you. It would make sense for that to be the case if Jungkook really had told Namjoon about the note. But that does not mean you don't feel incredibly offended and hurt right now. Just because you liked Jungkook does not mean you'd be lying. Is that how much faith Namjoon had in you?

"I'm not lying!" Your voice doesn't hide the emotions you're feeling, not that you were trying to hide them anyway.

Namjoon's eyes widen and he immediately shakes his head. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant."

You cross your arms and look at him with a scowl, refusing to believe his words. "What did you mean then?"

He yet, again looks a little sheepish as he answers, "It's just that I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything to me," you reply without missing a beat. "This has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Jungkook. Tell him that this girl probably has some ulterior motives or something. Save him from the heartbreak he will inevitably go through when he comes to that realisation himself."

"You're right, that's exactly what I should do." Something in Namjoon seems to click and he nods. "Wait, I'll be right back."

Just like that, he's walking out in a hurry leaving you all alone in the room.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's been fifteen minutes since Namjoon left.

At first, you were walking with hurried steps from one end of the room to the other but then your anxiety got too much for you and you decided to sort out the skincare items and put them in place.

Productivity is better than burning calories by walking in circles in a room. Right?

You were only putting the new moisturizer in the drawer when someone clears their throat to announce their presence.

It rightfully startles you and you let out a small yelp.

However, when you realise who the person standing in front of you is, it makes your stomach sink.

Jungkook.

The same Jungkook you have been avoiding for weeks. Not that it was difficult though, he had never really made any effort to reach out to you. But whatever.

You swiftly look away from him and get back to work, not wanting to pay him any attention. Why should you? You're not his makeup artist anymore, he does not have any business to be here.

"Umm, I need to talk to you about Niki."

You don't respond.

Your silence is met with a sigh from Jungkook.

"Hyung told me what you heard Niki say. Ummm can you please not share it with anyone else?"

Maybe it was something about the way the words were phrased but they did not sit well with you.

Your hands pause and a scoff of disbelief makes its way past your lips. Is...is that what he wanted to talk to you about?

That too, of all things to ask you to not tell others about it? As if you had told Namjoon about it to spread some sort of gossip. The only reason you bothered with it was because....well, you were worried for Jungkook.

But imagine caring about someone despite being treated the way Jungkook treated you and then that person coming to talk to you for the first time in weeks only to tell you not to get involved. As if it was by choice.

One thing was for sure, you were this close to letting out the words you have been holding in for a long long time. Your position as a makeup artist be damned.

"It's just that if word gets out she will be framed as the wrong guy."

She....she will be the one framed as the wrong guy? And you being the one who could potentially do it, doesn't make you sound like the villain? What he's saying is you could do something that could end up making Niki the victim.

That's it. You have had enough.

"Do you even know what you're saying?" You speak the words out with your tone laced with every bit of anger you have been keeping in for weeks.

Jungkook winces. "I do–"

"Let me finish. I have no business telling people what I heard Niki speak on the phone with lord knows who. Heck, if I was selfish I would have just stayed out of it because who's gonna believe my words against those millions of articles and fans shipping you two? But the only reason I thought you should know about it is because what if you really loved her or something? Knowing it later when you're much more invested would be way more painful and crushing."

Something enters in his gaze but you're too furious to notice or to even pause to give him the time to form a response.

"Not to mention that you treated me like trash. Didn't bother talking to me. Changed your staff without giving a proper reason. Heck, I might just be a make-up artist and you might be a world-renowned artist but I thought we were more than that," for the first time since you started speaking, your voice goes quiet. "To me, you were more than the idol everyone sees. Maybe that's why I assumed I was also someone more than just a make-up artist to you."

"But I guess I was wrong," your voice cracks and as soon as the sound of your wavering voice reaches your ears, you know it's time to shut up. Because no way in hell are you going to cry in front of Jungkook.

But somehow that single voice crack says a lot.

You have seen Jungkook cry in pain and frustration. You have seen him laugh until his stomach started to hurt. You have seen him drink until he's all giggles and smiles. Those moments had led you to believe that you two were friends, at least. But then if you two ever were friends, he has disrespected that friendship way too much for you to be calm about it.

Jungkook looks at the ground as if it would magically give him the answer to the question of what he should do now. When it doesn't, Jungkook battles himself and ultimately decides that it's best for him to simply say the truth.

He has complicated things enough.

"Niki and I aren't dating."

------------------------------------------------------

Permanant Taglist:

@bloodline1632 @embrace-themagic @jeonsorchid @fragmentof-indiffernce @royallyjjk @jeonninja @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @blairscott @jungkookslittlebun @hunbun07 @chimchimmarie

Fic Taglist:

@coffeedepressionsoup @perfectlyfangirling @armydgirl

#Jungkook x reader #Jungkook angst #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook scenarios #Jungkook reactions #Jimin x Reader #Jimin angst #Jimin reaction #Jimin scenarios #Jimin au #Fuckboy Jimin #Idol Jungkook #Taehyung x Reader #Taehyung angst #Taehyung fluff #Taehyung scenarios #Taehyung au #Co-worker Taehyung

614 notes · View notes

octuscle · 9 months

Note

Aye Chronivac? I’m glad I found you. See, I have a bit of a soft spot for rugby, despite being a scrawny nerd, so I was at a game for my local team. It’s not great rugby, they’re kind of just a bunch of chavs getting out some energy haha. Well one of their props got injured today and the coach looked through the spectators and then came up to me saying meet him in the club after the match. I did and saw your guys’ logo on his phone before he played with it for a while, and then said we’re done and to call him in 2 days giving his number. Do you have any idea what happened?

That was really a bit crazy now wasn't it? You leave the clubhouse. And even though you're not really a pub-goer, now you feel like a Coke…. But as you stand between the Chavs, still wearing their sweaty jerseys, you prefer to have a beer like them. You don't know the guys, but you can still drink with them… And after two or three beers you know Michael, Wayne Gaz, Mike, Darren, Tom, Luke, Liam, Adam and Tom as if you were in kindergarten together.

It's pretty late when you stagger out of the pub together…. And it takes you some effort to unlock the lock. Fuck, these guys are really hard drinkers. With effort and difficulty you make it to the bathroom and vomit a whole row of pints into the toilet. Nevertheless, you feel surprisingly well the next morning. So well, in fact, that you go for a run before work. Amazingly, your running shoes are in the hallway and your running clothes are hanging over the chair. You didn't even know you owned such a thing….

At work today, you're not quite on top of things. You surf through the sports pages on the Internet. Reading the news about your team's opponents in the next games. Discussing the last games in internet forums. Chatting with the guys on WhatsApp. At the end of the day you really have a guilty conscience. When your boss asks you when you leave the office what you thought of yesterday's game, you feel caught. But obviously your boss really just wants to talk about rugby. He's never done that before.

After work, you go straight to the pub. A few of the guys are there, too. Someone says that your team played like shit yesterday. Without thinking, you hit them. Nobody insults your team. And the first bar fight of your life begins.

The next morning, after running outside the office, you just jump in the shower. Instead of your usual white shirt, you're wearing a rugby jersey. But that's okay, you're not doing an accountant's apprenticeship anymore. You work in the warehouse. You are certainly not an idiot. But you prefer to work with your body. That's why you're so grateful that Coach wants you on the team.

During the lunch break you call Coach. He says that you are welcome to join the training today, he could imagine you in the team.

Rugby has always been your sport. You are very proud to be a real team with the others, not just drinking buddies. And tomorrow you will crush the opposing team!

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #chronivac #male transformation #muscle transformation

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fayes-fics · 11 months

Text

It Had To Be You: Chapter 3 - Around London Town (Sun Is In The Sky)

Masterpost PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, Modern AU

Summary: Set 5 years after Chapter 2, serious relationships are ending. You reunite with Benedict and bond over heartbreak.

Artwork credit: @colettebronte

Warnings: discussion of sex/sexual acts, swearing.

Word count: 3.1k

Authors Note: Unbetaed. A multi-chapter modern rom-com retelling of When Harry Met Sally. In this chapter, we are in various spots around London, hence the title. We also get to meet the Kate and Anthony of this AU. Enjoy! <3

Two years ago (5 years later)

“I saw the email,” she sighs, poking her salad. “He just spent 2000 quid on a new king-sized bed.”

“What do you mean you saw the email?” you frown, taking a bite of your fish as you stare across to St Paul’s dome, looking so beautiful lit up at dusk this late spring evening. Oxo Tower is a regular haunt for you, as it’s right around the corner from Kate’s work.

“I mean… he was working on his laptop in bed next to me and got called away, and a delivery notification from John Lewis popped up, and well, I saw it. He's bought a new bed for them,” her jaw ticks as she swallows hard. “He’s never going to leave her, is he?”

“No, Kate, he's never going to leave her,” you echo for what feels like the millionth time.

Your sympathy has limits; this woman, your very best friend, is so smart and so blindingly beautiful; you really don't understand why she has spent the last few years allowing herself to be dicked around by this what sounds like colossal asshat of a married man. She claims he's fantastic in bed and treats her like a queen, but as you've never even met him in the three years she's been seeing him, you can't form an opinion beyond the rose-tinted snippets she shares.

“I know you're right, I know,” she shakes her head a little and reaches for her G&T, downing it with remarkable alacrity. “How's Doctor Tom?” she wiggles her eyebrows comedically, obviously wanting a change of direction.

“Fine,” you offer warily, “at least, I hear he's fine.” You take a deep breath “… we broke up,” you explain as her brow knits.

“What? When? Why didn't you tell me?” she cries.

“I am telling you now. Last week. It just wasn't something I wanted to discuss on WhatsApp y'know,” you shrug, reaching for your wine and taking a fortifying large gulp. You knew you would have to tell your best friend sometime, apparently that ‘sometime’ is today.

“What happened?”

“We’ve been growing apart for a while, to be honest,” you confess, feeling like a burden is lifted just from voicing it. “It was all very grown up. We had a heart-to-heart; I said what I wanted, he said what he wanted, and we agreed it was very different, so he left.”

“My god, you make it sound so simple! And almost businesslike, mechanical. Fucking hell, are you not broken up about it at all?” she raises her perfectly shaped eyebrows, this time in surprise.

“I've had a few days, and you know, I'm alright about it. I'm over it, to be honest. It's better we did this now than after we had gone through with the marriage,” you point out, starting at your now bare ring finger with a short pang of loss. It really was a beautiful ring.

“Well, good point, divorces are expensive and a bloody nightmare, but still…. Five years y/n. That's a long time to be with someone, and you are so matter-of-fact about it!”

“Not all of us are drama queens, Kate,” you jest gently and chuckle as she pulls a face.

“So you want me to set you up? There's that guy at my work, remember?” she singsongs, her brown eyes shining with mischief. “You guys would be perfect; I just know it!”

“Urghh, who?” you will admit to some intrigue.

“Freidrich Hohenzollern, you don't mind the blonds,” she winks.

“Kate! German Freddy?! You set me up with him six years ago!” you roll your eyes. “He threw up your deathly strong margaritas all over my pretty summer shoes,” you bemoan, recalling how it capped off a truly awful barbecue in her back garden. As it turns out, it was only a few weeks before you met Dr Tom. “Besides, I'm not ready to meet anyone yet; it's only been a few bloody days.”

“I thought you said you were over it?” she teases.

“I am, but I’m in mourning about being single again. I don't need anything right now, except maybe a rebound fuck, and I don't want that to be anyone remotely close to our friendship pool, you know? Much better to get with some rando I never have to cross paths with again.”

“Fair enough,” she shrugs but then waves her fork at you. “Just don't leave it too long before you get serious again.”

“What the fuck do you mean?” you laugh.

“I mean, if you stay on the shelf too long, some other bitch is going to snap up your man, and you’ll have to get cats and live alone, a bitter spinster until you die one of those mystery early deaths from unused vagina in about ten years. You’ll even make the news; cos, y’know, the cats, they’ll eat your face after you die. All alone.”

“Thanks, Kate.” you deadpan at that fantastically supportive vision of your future. “Also, so glad to know you are visiting me in my ancient forties, like the wonderful friend you are,” you roll your eyes.

“Bitch please, imma be busy being impregnated for the fifth time by my beautiful husband, James Norton,” she breezes with a huge grin.

“You’ll have to leave the fucking married idiot who doesn't deserve you first,” you point out, perhaps a little uncharitably.

“Touche,” she fires over her water glass. “He’s never going to leave her, is he?” she adds wistfully.

You reach over the table and touch her hand gently. “No darling, he is never going to leave his wife.”

“I know, I know, FUCK, I know…” she sighs dramatically, “Well… this calls for MORE DRINKS!” she states decidedly, banging her beautifully manicured fist on the table.

That, at least, you can fully support.

—

“What happened?” Anthony Bridgerton asks, taking a sip of his beer, his eye on his beloved team on the pitch below as they take a slight hammering at home in Twickenham.

“It's over. I'm moving home,” Benedict sighs, scratching his beard and glancing around the grandstand. “You've still got that spare room, right? Just until I get everything sorted, my stuff shipped back,” he adds, not wanting to be a burden at this age.

“Yeah, it's yours, as long as you need it,” Anthony nods, the older brother instinct kicking in without thought. “Are you sure this isn't something you can work out? Moving back to London seems rash.”

“Not a chance,” Benedict responds morosely, staring at his beer as a fly lands in it and starts swimming—seems like an apt metaphor for the shitshow being thirty-five has become for him. “I offered everything,” he shrugs miserably, “to go for counselling, sleep in the spare room; she's not interested. I knew something was up when some of her shit started disappearing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’d come home, and her wardrobe looked half empty, you know, more than just laundry piling up, whole sections missing. Then her art and supplies started to dwindle, and she wasn't replacing them, but she was coming home still covered in paint. I figured maybe she had rented a separate studio space. So I confronted her; asked her what was happening: ‘Que se passe-t-il ici, tessa?’ you know. And she was all ‘de rein’ and ‘c’est tous dans ta tête’ it’s all in my head,” he translates, “and the whole time, I knew I wasn't being paranoid. So one day, I followed her...”

“You did what?”

“Yes, I know, I’m not proud of it,” he admits, “but I went to the coffee shop across the road and followed her. She had a big suitcase, lugging more of her stuff, I guess. So she went straight to a flat in the tenth arrondissement. Her ‘friend’ Clarissa. Yeah, they are definitely not just friends.”

“How do you know?” Anthony checks, sucking in air between his teeth as a Harlequins player hits the grass hard after a vicious tackle

“I watched them fuck on the balcony,” Benedict monotones, “sat in a little cafe opposite and watched my wife screaming her fucking head off as her ‘friend’ went down on her.”

“Ouch.”

“Exactly. She hasn't let me do that in months; claims she’s lost the enjoyment of it. That isn't fucking true, obviously.” He fishes out the fly and downs the rest of his watery beer, placing the plastic cup on the ground and letting his head fall into his hands. “I mean, we haven't had sex in a year, but I thought it's just a rough patch, you know? We could get through it. Until a couple of months ago, she was at least letting me eat her out, and on occasion, when she got drunk, come to think of it, she might even give me a handjob once in a while. So I was dealing with it, thinking it's a blip, we can get through it. But… uggghhhh…. I knew it, you know? This whole time I knew she would kick the shit out of me one day. I just didn't think it would be this far into marriage. Five fucking years Anthony….”

He looks so utterly unmoored that Anthony turns to him and places a comforting arm around his brother. “Listen, infidelity isn't the reason marriages break up; it's just a symptom that something else is wrong.”

“Yeah, well, that symptom is eating my wife’s pussy,” Benedict grouses loudly, uncaring that a whole bunch of people in the vicinity twist around in their stadium seats and stare at him.

Just fucking great.

—

“Ooh, what about this one?” Kate bounds over, holding some utterly dreadful-looking period romance novel.

“Regency? Sex? Kate, please, I’m not that desperate yet,” you say witheringly, staring over your reading glasses at her.

“You’re newly single. This shit might teach you a few things,” she hums unapologetically, waggling the book at you.

“Please, as if I need some American woman telling me how to fuck a handsome Englishman from 200 years ago,” you roll your eyes and take the book from her.

“Speaking of handsome,” Kate sidles up closer, “someone is staring at you in foreign languages.”

You peel off your glasses and look over to see a face you would never forget lurking by a bookshelf. And it’s a jolt to your being. He’s got to be in his mid-thirties by now and sports a somewhat scraggly but short beard. Damn, he’s still so handsome, your mind screams.

“I know him. You’d like him; he’s married,” you needle sarcastically.

“I don’t see a ring,” Kate counters quietly, “when was the last time you saw him?”

“God, maybe five years ago? And he was moving to Paris. To get married,” you explain as you politely raise a hand to wave and nod.

“So that’s a long time ago,” she stage whispers, “maybe he’s not anymore,” she hints.

“Please, he’s so obnoxious,” you dismiss, even as your heart thumps a little harder as he approaches. “Plus, he never remembers me….”

“Y/n y/l/n,” he says warmly as he pulls up nearby.

Wow, okay, wrong on that count.

“Ben! Ben Bridgerton. Hi!” you breeze, feigning nonchalance and quickly dropping the crappy romance book Kate gave you.

“This is…” you turn around, and Kate is gone, waving next to the Hatchards sign and heading out the door. “Well, that was my friend Kate…. How are you? How’s married life?”

“Ahh, not good,” he winces, and you feel awkward as his face goes crestfallen. “I’m getting divorced.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I really am,” you frown, the sting of your breakup lessened somehow.

“How’s Doctor Dorset?” he perks up.

“Oh, I hear he’s fine. We uhh just broke up. Last month,” you nod, and you exchange glances that are so meaningful.

He looks so much wiser, mellow. And it’s not just the beard. Like the cocksureness and swagger have been knocked out of him. He’s learned some hard lessons about life, living but hurting. Something in your heart reaches out to him.

“Coffee and a catch-up?” you offer casually.

“Actually, I’m starving,” he admits, “how about lunch instead?”

You glance at your phone, and there’s a trademark subtle WhatsApp message from Kate.

Ride that fine thing to Rebound City.

I expect all the deets tmrw.

Woof.

“Urghh, sure, looks like I’m free,” you answer, quickly swiping left to clear the screen.

——

You are sitting on the sunny rooftop terrace at Ham Yard sharing break-up stories. Although it’s selfish to admit it, somehow, his melancholy makes you feel better about yourself. That you are more together than you thought. And even more certain you made the right choice not to get married.

“We used to say how life was great because we didn’t have kids,” you explain, pushing your salad around the plate. “How everyone we knew stopped having sex if they had kids. How we could fuck against the window or on the kitchen table, and no one would walk in on us. And I believed him when he said he didn’t want kids. But then…” you trail off.

“He changed his mind?” Ben intuits; his emotional intelligence momentarily takes you aback.

“He went to stay with his sister for a week to celebrate some family thing; I had to cover an event, so I couldn’t go. Anyway, she has three kids. And he came back different; kept saying maybe kids aren’t so bad. Even after his brother-in-law admitted they no longer had sex cos childcare was so exhausting, mind,” you gesture with your hands. “And he just started to drop hints about how we aren’t getting any younger - I'm only thirty-fucking-one - and how kids ensure a legacy….” you stab a piece of cucumber. “That’s when I snapped, and I just said. Listen, I don’t want kids, and if you do, maybe we need to rethink this engagement, cos I’m not going to change my mind. And he looks at me horrified. As if it doesn’t compute that a woman would never want children. ‘I thought that was just a thing to establish your career, then you’d take a break and have kids. My income more than provides’,”

Benedict huffs a gentle laugh at your deliberately lousy impression.

“And I said back, ‘I love my job, I don’t want to give it up and certainly not to have kids’. And he replied, ‘Well, I want a wife who will give me kids’. And I said, ‘Well, that’s not me’. And then he left.”

Your harsh but accurate summary of that shitty afternoon somehow feels lighter now you’ve shared details. You don’t want to dwell on how odd it is that you’ve given him, a man you’ve seen twice in ten years, more than you shared with your best friend.

“And the thing is, we never did fuck spontaneously like that anyway,” you sigh, sipping your coffee.

“Not on the kitchen table?” he raises an eyebrow.

“Not once. Not even against the window. He doesn’t like doing it standing up,” you shrug.

“That’s a shame. It’s fun,” Benedict opines, but it’s not like in the past when he would’ve used it as a blatant flirtation; it’s more like he’s simply agreeing with an empiric truth.

“Agreed,” you nod and fall silent as you can tell he’s gearing up to talk more.

“I knew Tessa was bisexual when we got together,” he sighs, elaborating on his breakup story. “To be honest, I think that’s what made her so damn sexy at first, the stupid caveman idea she’d be into threesomes,” he rolls his eyes and shakes his head slightly at the naivety of his younger self. “I just didn’t think she would do the almost cliched thing and cheat on me with a woman.”

“Doesn’t it hurt less? That it’s not another dick that led her astray?” you frown.

He huffs a laugh. “Never thought of it like that. But it’s more the helplessness of it. That’s the one thing I can’t be, a woman. And that’s what she wants.” he twists his mouth into a thoughtful pout before continuing. “She moved in with her. But she didn’t tell me. Didn’t have the guts. She just kept moving her stuff out slowly. I’d prefer she was honest and told me, but she played mind games. Tried to gaslight me into thinking it was all in my head.”

You drop your fork and decide to inject some humour, knowing the sign that he’s getting too maudlin. “Hold the bloody phone. Did Benedict Bridgerton just use the word gaslight?” you tease. “Bloody hell, we have gotten old.”

He looks up and meets your eye, an appreciative glint in the down-sloped corners as he chuckles in agreement. The look lingers for a beat longer than it should, and all you can think is the slight crinkles around his eyes lend him a more mature beauty, somehow more deadly than the pretty, fresh-faced idiot you shared a car ride with ten years ago. Benedict Bridgerton with heartbreak is a beautiful sight, perverse as it may be to think it.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” you offer conciliatory, reaching out to touch the back of his hand. His skin is soft; you can feel his pulse in the prominent vein under your fingertip, and something in you runs warm.

“You know, the first time we met, I really didn't like you,” he confesses as you withdraw your touch, “you were so uptight about the world; you’re much mellower now.”

“Way to wrap a compliment in an insult,” you pull a face, and he laughs. “You were just utterly nonplussed that someone might not want to fuck you—-that's why you didn't like me,” you add, raising an eyebrow pointedly.

“What's the apology deadline for being a young idiot?” he winces and shoots you an adorably contrite expression.

“Hmmm, ten years,” you volley back, unable to stop your grin.

“Oooh, well, it's mid-May, and that was late May, so I am juuuuust in time,” he jests, and you feel a warmth inside your ribs as you smile at each other.

After eating, you find yourselves wandering together, crossing under the mature trees of Golden Square.

“Are we becoming friends? For real this time?” An ironic smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I mean, I forgive you for not ever texting me after I gave you my number all those years ago,” he teases, and you blush.

“We might be,” your tone playful.

“Huh, a woman friend,” his brow knitting, “that’s novel.”

You laugh, and again your eyes meet.

“You know you may be the first attractive single woman I don’t want to fuck…” he confesses.

Something in you feels conflicted. Pleased he has matured enough to be that way, flattered he feels willing to admit it to you as a friend, and the part you don’t want to think about too much, the tinge of sadness that fact gives you.

“That’s wonderful, Ben,” you reply as he loops your arm and keeps strolling.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @mlovesbridgerton @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989

#benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton fluff #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x female reader #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fluff #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x female reader #bridgerton x you #bridgerton x y/n #it had to be you fic

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distantlaughter · 4 months

Text

Formel Vorne

Originally published June 2022 by Sven Michaelsen for DB MOBIL (x)

Always close to the racing line: this is how Nico Rosberg became Formula 1 world champion. But what does it take to lead start-ups to the top in Germany? In the cover interview with DB MOBIL, the tech investor talks about his flair for perfect green ideas, his speed-reading course and how he is trying to beat his cell phone addiction by making music.

The man seems impressively experienced in the media. When Nico Rosberg sees the first pictures taken by the photographer at the 25hours Hotel in Cologne, he asks: "Could I get more light from below?" At the beginning of the subsequent cover interview, the former Formula 1 professional wants to know: "How have you perceived me in the last hour?" Anyone in the public eye does a lot of Hollywood, says the 36-year-old, who will open the Greentech Festival, which he co-founded, in Berlin on June 22. New ideas for a sustainable lifestyle will be presented there. Nico Rosberg believes that image is work: "And I've always taken it very, very seriously."

Mr. Rosberg, you became Formula 1 world champion for the first time in 2016. Five days later, you announced your retirement from racing, much to everyone's astonishment. What was going through your mind?

I had meditated a lot and worked with a psychologist. At the start of the last race, I knew that if I didn't make any mistakes, I would be world champion. When I crossed the start line, I thought: Nico, this could be your last race ever, try to enjoy it a little. That gave me the calm I needed to win. When I crossed the finish line, I knew it was over! That's it for you and Formula 1.

Wife, parents, team boss: Who did you tell your decision to first?

In the evening, there was a party where we celebrated at full throttle. The morning after, my wife and I woke up totally hungover. In my bathrobe, I said to her: "By the way, I've decided to quit." It was a total surprise for her.

Did she react with enthusiasm or dismay?

She was completely neutral. On the one hand, she had been an enthusiastic supporter of my career, but on the other hand, she saw first-hand how racing had taken over me to such an extent that I often seemed absent at home. Her only comment was: "Follow your instinct."

Your father Keke Rosberg was Formula 1 world champion in 1982. How did he find out about your decision?

After I announced my departure, I wrote a WhatsApp message to my mother: "Mom, you never have to worry about me again. That was my last race. Please tell dad." If I had told my dad in advance, he would have said: "What are you doing? This is a huge mistake! You're giving up the top spot in Formula 1 without needing to and giving up 100 million euros in revenue over the next few years. That's stupid."

Did he make a scene for you?

No, but he was shocked and didn't understand at all at first. He was my biggest fan and was already looking forward to the next racing season. I then explained to him that I had reached my goal in life and was no longer prepared to give 110 percent every day for racing. That was a very nice moment.

What career options did you have?

None at all. We had our little daughter, and a few weeks after I left, my wife got pregnant again. It was clear that I didn't want to live off my savings in the long term and that my next job should be less ego-driven. In Formula 1, everything revolves around you. This extreme self-centeredness had made me unhappy and led to a disbalance within me. I wanted to become more positive and self-confident. For this reason, I made a promise to myself: In your next life, don't focus on your ego, but on dedicating yourself to projects that help others.

You are investing in sustainability and green mobility today. How many people work for you?

There are almost 20 of them, some of which are involved in investments in green start-ups, others in our annual Greentech Festival, where we bring together the most innovative minds. Then there are our partnerships with companies that are driving forward electromobility.

How many companies have you invested money in?

About 20, with another 100 through investments in funds.

How many start-ups are pipe failures?

50 out of 100. 30 float along so-so, 10 are better off, 10 become really successful.

Your biggest scoop?

Our early investment in the e-scooter company "TIER".

Your most spectacular failure?

A financial services provider in Sweden. Our money was gone.

How high is the proportion of women among founders?

Under 20 percent. The entire tech scene is still a male domain. We can only hope that this will change very quickly.

A founder wants money from you: Do you look at the person or their idea?

First of all, I look at the person: are they driven by an intrinsic passion or is someone just trying to make as much money as possible in as short a time as possible? I need to sense passion in a founder and an incredible fighting spirit, which I recognize immediately because of my past as a professional sportsman. You can modify ideas, but not people.

Two years ago, you predicted in an interview: "The first commercial flights with air cabs will take place in 2022."

It will probably take a few more years after all. We have invested in the German air cab companies Lilium and Volocopter. Commercial flights are due to start in 2025. I predict that a decade later there will be a kind of Netflix for mobility. For a monthly flat rate, you will be provided with all the means of transportation you need to travel within Europe: E-scooter, self-driving cab, hydrogen-powered air cab that lands on the roof of your train station, high-speed train.

CEOs today are supposed to be moderate, approachable, inclusive and politically correct. Successful people like Mark Zuckerberg or Jeff Bezos, on the other hand, are polarizing and egocentric. How do you explain this contradiction?

Many former employees of Elon Musk complain that it is a horror to work for him. I assume he has people on his management team who balance out his stubbornness and ensure empathy. Otherwise, every company will blow up in your face at some point. It is probably extremely rare for visionary founders to also be nice team players. Being uncompromising is part of every great career.

The controversial, billionaire investor Peter Thiel writes in his book "Zero To One": "Of the six men who founded PayPal, four made bombs as schoolboys." Do founders have to be out of the ordinary, have to have a chip on their shoulder?

Genius founders are extreme characters. They focus their lives on implementing their ideas with extreme dedication and tenacity. With some of them, you might think that their successes are revenge on the people who humiliated them in their youth. Toto Wolff, my team boss at Mercedes, said that every great success is compensation for a painful childhood trauma. The appreciation you didn't get as a child is supposed to bring you success in your career.

Peter Thiel asks people who apply to him: "Which of your beliefs would few people share with you?" How would you answer him?

I would so fail this question. Six years ago, I would have come up with an answer: Electromobility. I'm an investor and shareholder in Formula E. When my father heard about it, he said: "You're completely crazy!" He now sets his alarm clock for every race. But wait, I just thought of an answer to Thiel's question: I'm convinced that a psychologist can help each of us enormously in becoming more successful, happier and a better relationship partner. During my time in Formula 1, I worked with a qualified psychologist for two hours every other day. That was more intense than any driver training course.

What did the man do to you?

He helped me to understand myself better: Why am I nervous? Why am I afraid? Why am I jealous when my wife looks after another man without any deeper intention? When it comes to our emotions, we are all so in the dark. They guide our behavior without us understanding how and why. With the help of a mental coach, you can control your reactions much better because you learn to react rationally instead of emotionally. This triggers a snowball effect that changes your whole life for the better. In addition, the psychologist taught me to proactively train my brain with meditation, visualization and repetition.

An example, please.

If I visit a person 100 days in a row and tell them they are an idiot every time, they will eventually believe me at least a little. We often do the same with ourselves. We make the same assumptions about ourselves over and over again until we end up mistakenly believing them to be facts. If I visualize this mechanism again and again in meditation, I can break through it and achieve a more positive self-image.

You also had a coach for speed reading.

Because I don't read enough, I wanted to learn to read faster. Bill Gates reads 100 pages per hour thanks to a coach. A simple trick is to follow along with your finger while reading. This helps the eye to recognize the words and increases reading speed.

A world-famous father, a childhood in the decadent, affluent paradise of Monaco: you could just as easily have become a spoiled good-for-nothing with a drug problem.

I don't believe that children from wealthy families need to have a problem with their ambition. My best friends in Monaco grew up with money. One of them now manages 300 million euros, the other two are among the luminaries of their profession as a lawyer and dentist. All three decided early on that they didn't want to live off their parents' money. Their incentive was to achieve something similar. I was ambitious and thrifty from an early age and never thought about my parents' money. I wanted to do my own thing.

You are bringing up two daughters, aged four and six. Can children's ambition be fueled, or is ambition a kind of natural destiny, as natural as a birthmark?

I think 70 percent is genetics, 30 percent can be influenced by the parents. For me, this 30 percent is the biggest challenge there is in the world. My wife and I attend parenting seminars to develop our parenting skills. Of course we want to encourage our children's motivation, but above all we want them to be happy.

What about your gift for happiness?

My mother is naturally happy and motivated. I find that more difficult. Without rationality and discipline, for example, I would look at my cell phone for twelve hours a day and be knocked out after two days. I have to manage my life with a lot of energy and thought. Otherwise I would make myself and others unhappy.

What are you like when you lose?

My nature makes it extremely difficult for me to lose. When I played tennis against my father when I was young, I left the court crying almost every time. I cried when I lost and I cried when I won because I thought he had let me win. We didn't speak to each other again until the next day. This extreme in me was really bad. In Formula 1, my psychologist then taught me that defeats don't just hurt, but are an opportunity to grow.

What can we learn from you?

Dedication, persistence, not letting go. I recently wanted to meet Richard Branson - which is not easy. I wrote to his secretary, called her and had a friend write an email recommending him. And so it went on and on until I finally got the acceptance.

Have you had any Formula 1 freak-outs like tennis stars hitting the umpire's chair with their rackets?

I'm not the impulsive type. I tend to be very thoughtful, sometimes too much so. I've never shouted at anyone in my life. I'm practising this with my children because they seem to expect it from me. But it's not my nature. I have to force myself to do it.

How do you teach your children ecological awareness?

There is a series of children's books with stories about famous people who are committed to nature. Last night I read the book about Greta Thunberg at home. We also explain why we drive an electric car and try to avoid plastic.

What have you learned from your children?

I bought myself a guitalele, a miniature guitar, so that I don't have to reach for my smartphone every free second. It's in my hotel room. It was my children who inspired me to play an instrument. I'm fascinated by how motivated they are to learn new things. Then I think: Nico, you've become so lazy! Because I'm ambitious, I'm even taking guitar lessons now. I want to become good.

Charlie Chaplin said about the Christmases of his childhood: "I only got one orange - in good years." How do you deal with the lack of scarcity when raising your children?

My wife and I try to exemplify certain values because mere theory is not convincing for children. When we return from an expensive family vacation, I say: "Be careful in your stories not to hurt anyone who can't afford this kind of vacation." Only at Christmas do we break the dams. That's when we overdo it with presents. You can't do everything pedagogically right. And who should stop grandma and grandpa from giving presents?

#nico rosberg #nicology

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