#y'all i can't keep doing this

[rainymoodlet]

🌧 rainymoodlet is in full hiatus mode! 🌧

hoo... absolutely sick to my stomach writing this. ✌ for more information, please read below! thank you all for following my stories, loving my bachelor challenge, and loving my little pixels as much as i do. 😊

Well, my darling fellow simblrs... it's happened. It's been a bit of a long time coming over the past few months, but I've finally decided to put my blog into a permanent sort of "hiatus mode". I am a person who is riddled with executive dysfunction and lack of self-control, and I know that if I don't legitimately cut myself off from Simblr™ and the disassociation it's allowed me, I will. not. quit. 😅

I originally joined Simblr back in 2021 during a really difficult and isolated time in my life. I haven't been able to speak much to it because of the legal issues it's tied up in, but Simblr became my escape whilst in the throes of seeking justice against my abuser in a time where my entire family had abandoned me, and my fiance and I were living alone in my parents' house with only the two of us to swirl in deep and massive depression. Sims has always been my escape; from 2004 onward, it has given me narrative control and visual fantasy for as long as I can remember, and it will always be a deeply comforting and "safe" game for me.

But when I joined Simblr, it was out of many of the reasons that I think we can all relate to as writers and creatives. I had the idea for Loved by the Sun, and as I kept imagining and writing and building this world, I thought: "I deserve to show this to people. I really want people to see this. And I really want them to think it's good." I had been existing on the fringes of Simblr on my own personal Tumblr blog: I've seen countless legacies rise and fall, countless dramas spread out across blogs that are no longer active and haven't been for years. I wanted people to wake up and roll over and check my blog, desperate for updates, eager for more.

And more than anything, I wanted to escape the day-to-day hell I was living in.

But as the years went on, I've noticed that the excitement and creativity that drove my creation of my account has dwindled beyond measure. And I will put that on myself - starting a Bachelor Challenge like Kiss Me in Komorebi was one of the beginning nails in the coffin of my creativity and enjoyment of Simblr. I do not regret it one bit, and I am so grateful for the following it's gained and the genuine enjoyment you've all had with KMiK. It's my proudest achievement, it's pushed me to be a better editor and a better screenshot-taker, it's challenged me in my way of playing and it's introduced me to so many wonderful people.

But of course... I me'd it up. 😎

I've become obsessed to an egregious degree with the perception of my handling of this challenge. I want everyone to feel as though their sim gets enough screen-time, I want everyone to feel that the creative effort they put into submitting their sims was respected, and I desperately don't want anyone to feel left out or as though they're being ignored in favor of other contestants. It became so much less of telling Dan's story and journey, and all about how I was appearing as the Master of the Game.

And to be honest, my obsession with "staying relevant" in the fast-paced scroll of the Simblr Dashboard, believing you all would stop caring or stop reading if I didn't post as quickly as possible, was my own doom from the start, fkdfdjk.

In my life, I've had countless opportunities to turn my life around and start changing for the better. And time and time again, the energy that could have gone toward improving my situation or bettering my relationships has gone toward Simblr, and this online environment. I have practically no life beyond the screen: my days off are spent taking screenshots or spending four hours on builds that I still won't finish, obsessed over every angle, desperately seeking out that ~sparkle~ of simplicity and not-trying-too-hard I apply to all of your screenshots.

I am a dopamine and serotonin fiend, and though I can pinpoint in my life where trauma and isolation has pushed me to my online spaces, I was hyper-aware of the reality that in a few years, I won't be involved in Simblr. I won't be posting constantly, I won't care about the mods or the updates or the custom content.

And the stories I've written will be monuments to the time I've wasted, working on chasing the serotonin monster instead of bettering my own life and my own situation.

And now, I've got a real chance to do something better with my life. My fiance and I are at a crossroads of choice - we can change our lives for the better this year, or we can accept that the years of inaction we forced ourselves into out of the fear of moving forward have doomed us to a life we're not happy with. And I am one stubborn bastard when it comes to giving up.

The friendships and connections I've made here are some of the most meaningful in my life, and I hate that I've pulled back in the way I have. Along the way, it became much more about the notes, the numbers, the interaction, the reblogs over likes - and I lost myself and my friendships to my own mismanagement of my time and energy. I could spend five hours on one build, going from 7am to 12pm in a lightning speed of disassociation and obsessive Alt-clicking, and at the end of the day sit there and go...

What the hell have I done today? I could have messaged someone, I could have chatted with my friends, I could have done something. But no, I built a science lab, or a date location, and fretted the entire time until my stomach felt sick that it just "wasn't right" or wouldn't "look the way I wanted it to" in my screenshots.

I deeply, deeply love my stories, and I am so proud of them and what they've done for y'all and how you all have enjoyed them. I am incredibly lucky for the experience I've had on Simblr, and I know that there are plenty of blogs out there that sit with little interaction when they deserve so much more.

And yes, I will admit. The tendency of a 15-minute slapped together CAS edit of mine getting more notes and spotlight than the posts of my stories I've put legitimate effort into has fucked with my brain.

Simblr has changed from the story-laden place it was when I was following y'alls stories and legacies from 2015 onward. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Online spaces shift and change just as much as the social media sites like TikTok and Instagram, that go through trends and phases and fads and memes the same way we do. We are not above other social media in that regard, and I think there's a general sense from Simblr that we're some isolated island; we don't follow trends, we don't have fads, we don't have audio trends that get slapped on every other six-second video.

But I will raise you the Blender Phase and the Edit Phase as evidence every time.

I need to take some serious introspection time, and commit a lot of my energy to things that can bring me positive change outside of this online space. I hope to be able to come back as a better, healthier person, but to be honest, I don't really know when that will be. (Even this post is something I feel I have to do to be responsible, not just disappearing in the middle of this Challenge, leaving you all hanging djfh) I hope this doesn't come off as some high-horse rant, or leave a sour taste in y'alls mouths.

I just... I'll really miss this space. I'll miss the sims, I'll miss you guys, I'll miss your posts and your legacies and your sense of humor. I want to thank so many people, but I don't want to tag you all and shove this post into your activity streams dkfd.

I can't give any commitments to appearing more in Discord or even being present on this space - I've gone to the point of disconnecting the Chrome browser that's for rainymoodlet from my main icon bar, like I am going straight cold-turkey. I'll still be playing Sims, but I'm going to try and reconnect with it for myself - not for the screenshots, not for the stories, and not for the desperate want for people to understand what I'm posting or for it to make sense or satisfy, dfkj.

I am so, so incredibly grateful for every single one of you, and I hate to just drop this out of nowhere. But I need to do this, for me and for my future. And now I'm just sitting here like "Shannon, it's simblr, fucking chill." dkjfd I JUST... this space has done so much for me, and I genuinely feel a sense of loss in leaving. Especially in the middle of a story, fkgjfkg.

I really do genuinely love and care for you all. Please take care of yourselves, okay? Mama Shan does genuinely want the best for you, and I can't thank you enough for letting little old dorky ass me be a part of your community and your lives.

'Til next time, y'all. I'll see you soon. 💛

#txt #this will be my new pinned post. #going to go lay down on the floor for a long time now. #i feel sO SICK FUCK. #i really will miss you all so much. but i need to do this. it's like cigarettes at this point. if i don't go cold turkey... i won't quit. #i'll keep stressing abt how i'm not posting kmik or how i'm not interacting or how people are waiting and it will keep #affecting how i choose to spend my time and energy #and i just can't afford that anymore fff. #but ofc my blog will still be up!! you can still read kmik and my tjolc and everything i've posted #because gdi my contestants put a lot of effort into their sims and they deserve it #i hope i can come back to y'all in a better place 💛 #2024 IS THE YEAR OF CHANGE MY DARLINGS AND I ALREADY WASTED JANUARY SO LETS GOOOO

[starflungwaddledee]

this is a long shot and i'm sorry to ask, but if you don't mind, can mutuals (or contacts or regulars... just... this community) of mine who aren't jumping ship like... let me know? will any of us still be here? is it over? i'm trying to know if this really is it or what's... even happening. i hate to reassurance seek but i'm feeling pretty miserable and confused.

edit: felt like i was being really pitiful and fragile making this but everybody is being so nice to me and responding so patiently with all your thoughts and i'm in tears of gratitude thank you thank you thank you 💖

#i glanced and thought they brought out a feature so that we could turn off ai access #that seemed... okay? i thought? but now i'm really confused. i don't know. i'm so tired and scared. i just can't... keep doing this #i know this is stupid but this feels like it's my fault. #it happens every time i find something. if i'm happy somewhere. it just.... poof. goes away. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry #on the edit: i would only *ever* think this about myself. double standards that i hold for myself are high. i expect emotional control #& performance from myself only. i would never think badly of anyone else being stressed about this or anything. thank you for your kindness #this community has been so beautiful and kind at every turn. i'm so grateful to get to be here and meet you all #okay... being really sappy now. y'all get to see my anxiety first hand today!! whee!! anyway. i'll get it together. haha! thank you.

[nientedal]

Usually I just save stuff like this to my drafts until I calm down but you know what, fuck it, I'm done.

Any so-called leftist who refuses to recognize that our options right now are "genocide abroad, progress at home" and "genocide abroad AND genocide at home" and that there is a significant difference between those two options is cordially invited to eat shit and die. We do not have time to entertain your anti-voting hopeless nonsense. A future in which we are able to move towards less death will always be preferable to the one in which we can't, and if you smug, sneering little clowns sacrifice that future on the altar of your own self-righteousness because you're too high on your own farts to realize how far up your own ass you are, I genuinely hope you fucking drown. Specifically, I hope you drown in the blood of the people who will die all over the world as a result of your bizarre refusal to work towards a future that doesn't include ethnic cleansing.

This is the United States. We sell war, here. I don't know how so many of you are only just now figuring that out, but you better get over your shock like yesterday because we are out of fucking time. We ran out of time when Reagan took office if not long before. You think not voting will improve any of this?

Keep calling, keep writing, keep screaming. Governments everywhere are (slowly) beginning to listen. Democrats are (slowly) beginning to listen. But Republicans never will, and if they seize power again next year (which they will absolutely do their damned to attempt), everything will be so, so much worse for everyone, everywhere. The work is slow and painful and imperfect but it will only get done if we show up and do the work, so keep calling, keep writing, keep screaming-- and when the time comes, you show up and vote for the future that lets us build a better tomorrow instead of just choking to death in the steaming shitpile of today.

#''i can't have No Genocide tomorrow!!! so i don't want No Genocide at all!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH'' that's you. that's how you sound #''if i can't have perfect then don't even fucking bother with better!! just give me worse instead!!'' are you for fucking real #you don't care about Palestine you don't care about anything other than being able to go ''Well. at least I didn't choose this.'' #not choosing is still a choice! you stupid motherfucker! #choosing to stand at the lever and do nothing and watch the trolley crush five people is still a choice!! #how DARE you act like that blood is not on your hands! #again: THIS IS THE UNITED STATES. WE SELL WAR HERE. #not voting for Biden is not going to help Palestine! #in fact it will absolutely measurably make the situation WORSE! #for them AND everyone else! #this is the reality we are working with and if you want it to change then you HAVE to play the long game! #leftists heard ''don't let perfect be the enemy of good'' and went ''WHAT THE *FUCK* DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T HAVE PERFECT??! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'' #and i have fucking had it! #all i can do is try to keep working towards a day when the current left is the farthest right we have #but we are never gonna get there if y'all don't wake the fuck up and get moving #us politics #vent post #so help me god if this turns into a game of Spot the Tankie in the notes i'm gonna start knifing people

[wikiangela]

last line tag

tagged by @jesuisici33 @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @lover-of-mine @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz 💖💖

___

It’s a good few weeks, and it feels like everyone’s back on track, settling into their lives again, figuring everything out one day at a time. Buck’s happy. He has his awesome girlfriend, his best friend seems finally more at ease, even if the divorce is adding some stress, and his other best friend is happier than ever with his mom around. Everything’s finally starting to go great.

And then it all gets disrupted again.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns

#the alive shannon fic #last line tag #buddie wip #buddie fic #wikiangela writes #my writing #fic snippet #clearly struggling to segue into the bombing lmao #my wips #skipped wip wednesday so have a lil line haha #thought id have the bombing written already but need to start getting ready for work so i guess writing's done for today lmao #i might be a little absent from the writing games in the next few weeks bc im just so exhausted lately lol #this scene I'm writing is so disjointed and out of order rn and i hate it i need to find more time to write it properly haha #but pls keep tagging me i love reading y'alls wonderful snippets!! #also what do we think shannon's job could be bc im trying to figure it out and have no clue lol #(also i have to actively remind myself of ali's existence and i can't wait until the break up so i don't have to anymore lmao)

[finnpeach]

Hunt

(T/HRONE OF GLAS$ SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ PAST Q/UEEN OF SHADOW$ BE WARNED!)

My love for R/owan is boundless, and the series would be infinitely better if he was sick.

This is a multi-part fic of A/elin and R/owan training on a mountain and YEAH! HE HAS A COLD!

not much sneezing yet but it will come I promise

likes comments reblogs always loved and giggled over <3

****

Aelin stalks through the underbrush with lethal silence. Leaves covered with dew from the early morning mist streak across her face, dotting her cheeks. Her prey, a mountain hare the size of her head, nibbles on the sparse grass a few yards away.

She knocks her arrow, slipping in a breath. She can’t wait to see the look on Rowan’s face when she brings back a hare this size. Slowly, she pulls the bowstring back, kissing against her face. The hare turns, startled, breaths coming fast. Now or never–

“hh’rZzSHHh’uh!” 

Aelin gasps at the sound that echoes around the mountain. It cracks like a whip, scaring even the crows nesting in trees. The hare takes off and she desperately releases the arrow after her prey. The point finds its home in the thick trunk of a tree rather than the soft neck of the hare.

There goes breakfast. Her stomach growls pitifully. Seething, she rises from the brush and goes to retrieve her arrow. 

Five minutes later, Aelin stalks back to the makeshift camp she and Rowan had assembled the night before. The Fae prince had forced her to run from the castle to these distant mountains, shifting in and out of her Fae form to master control, where he then informed her they would be camping for a week out in the elements. And she was to hunt their every meal in between training.

It was a pathetic time, especially with the rain that has settled across the mountain. Damp and cold to her bones, Aelin approaches their campsite. Rowan, appearing much drier than she, sits by the fire she had sparked earlier that morning. He looks oddly run down, like he hadn’t slept much the night before.

Aelin is sure he hadn’t. The mountains were too misty to sleep outside without waking up damp, so they had packed just one tent to keep their baggage light. Lying beside Rowan, last night she had been the private audience to his tossing and turning, grumbling, and finally his snoring. 

“You fucking bastard. You scared off breakfast,” she hisses as she approaches, throwing her bow and bundle of arrows down by the tent. Rowan does not look up from the dagger he cleans in his hands.

“And how – snf! – pray tell, did I scare breakfast from here?” He grumbles. Aelin catches the way he sniffles thickly, his nostrils twitching up with the force of it.

She drops her satchel, full of only a bundle of pathetic berries.  “You sneezed.” She tries not to give in the warmth that pools in her lower stomach at the memory of the sound. It’s the first time she had ever heard him sneeze, and she was not disappointed. “For someone so keen on silence, I expected you’d know how to sneeze more quietly.”

Rowan doesn’t even grace her taunting with a reply, or a snarl. He just continues rubbing a cloth down the length of his dagger. Strange. He must be feeling really tired if he didn’t bother to punish her for such a remark. 

She sits down across from the fire, on a log they’d rolled over so they didn’t sit on wet grass. Feigning interest in destemming the berries she’d picked, she studies him through the crackling flames. 

His white hair is loose around his shoulders, creating a curtain that shields the dark tattoo running along his tan face. The tips of his Fae ears poke out just behind the white strands. After weeks of training with him, sleeping out in the elements beside him, she’s learned that he prefers to tie his hair up. It’s so rare to see him with it down.

“More hand to hand combat training today, or magic training?” She asks, breaking the silence that is only marred by the crackling flames.

Rowan sets the dagger aside. “Your job was to hunt. And since you still haven’t caught anything, your job is still to hunt.” He settles his sharp green eyes on her, brows set. If he didn’t piss her off so much, she might actually tremble under his gaze.

She raises her palms in defeat. “Fine, fine. But if you sneeze and scare off my prey again, I won’t be sharing the catch with you.” Even if she’d very much like for him to sneeze again, she’d rather eat first.

In one swoop, she picks up her bow and arrows and satchel again before setting off. With her Fae senses, she could scent a herd of deer in the southwest. Now that would show Rowan. Perhaps she’d bring back a buck, and spear him with its antlers.

As soon as she leaves the camp, nearly out of earshot, she hears the same thunderstrike from before. Perhaps Rowan had been waiting for her to leave.

“hhzjHSHHhieWw!”

A shiver runs down her spine as more startled crows caw in the trees.

****

Two hours later, Aelin returns with a small doe slung across her shoulders.

It’s mid afternoon. She had been lucky a herd was still grazing so late in the morning down by the clearing. She’d been even luckier that Rowan had either gotten his sneezing under control, or learned how to be quiet, because nothing had startled her catch this time.

“Lunch,” she declares to Rowan, dropping the deer to the grass. He hasn’t moved from his spot by the fire. “Is served.”

“It was supposed to be– snf! Breakfast,” he mutters, reaching the dagger at his side from earlier. His voice sounds dulled, like he’s congested.

Aelin rolls her eyes. “Well, it’s not like you helped. And I got us a catch to last us days.” She pats the stomach of the doe proudly. It isn’t very old – there’s still a sprinkling of fawn spots across her back. Aelin feels a twang of guilt for not singling out an older one.

Rowan pinches the bridge of his nose, breathing through his mouth. Aelin hardly has time to prepare before he jerks down towards his crotch, a light mist spraying across his trousers.

“hiHh–... yHhZzSHhhyuu!” A familiar, rushing heat spreads through Aelin’s gut. She swallows, watching as he rubs his nose on his wrist and glares up at her. Is he going to get mad at her for his sneezing?

Rowan chooses not to comment on it, something Aelin is secretly grateful for. “You were– snf! instructed to catch something small. We’re moving camp this afternoon.” He angles the pommel of the dagger towards her.

“What?!”

“Rain is coming tonight and will flood this area. I told you this morning. And now you’ve wasted a young doe’s life.”

A flame of rage flickers to life inside her chest. This is all his fault. “Well, I wouldn’t have wasted jack-shit if you hadn’t ruined my catch earl–”

“Aelin,” he growls, a no-nonsense sound. The tips of his canines poke past his lips. Aelin shuts up immediately. 

He stands, crossing the camp in two strides, and shoves the pommel of the knife against her stomach. She glares beneath his gaze. “You missed the catch because you did not act fast enough. Now you can either carry the doe across the mountain, or… hhH—!” His breath snags, eyes looking off into the distance for a split second. Aelin’s heart hammers in her chest.

He quickly recovers and sniffs again, much to her disappointment, and focuses his gaze on her. “Or you can leave it and realise you wasted a young animal’s life for your pride.” 

Before she can retort, he turns on his heel and she offers a middle finger to his large, muscular back. 

As if sensing her, he says over his shoulder, “And– sNf!– pack up the tent.”

#hey I didn't proof read this im just posting blind #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM #I can't wait to make him snz more #anyway lets hope no vanillas find this bc I will shoot myself in the fucking face <3 #if you're a vanilla KEEP SCROLLING NOTHHING TO SEE HERE!!! OKAY!!!!M #you know im serious ab keeping it in this community when I put goddamn slashes in the names lmfao #normally I don't care #but I do not want anyone finding this and making me feel weirtd #weird* #anyway #ENJOY! this will probably be a 2 parter #2.5 if you include the fight scene #but mmm yeah lemme know what y'all think if there's anything you wanna see #THE MATCHA FIC IS COMING I PROMISE! I WONT LET THOSE BOYS DIE! #hey guys did you notice how I actually write out the curse words and don't write vulgar gesture every 2 paragraphs nor do I write the word #marked #WHY DOES SHE DO THAT #she ought to take notes #oh and a/elin has the fet. obviously. what else would she have

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Pick a blorbo vibe!

In the Forsaken AU, Zelda and Gerudo Link are conspiring how to get Mystery Link to reappear after vanishing in the Lost Woods (Zel: Ok, so what we need is a damsel in distress--you'll do just nicely // Gan: I AM NOT PRETENDING TO BE A DAMSEL). They're whispering heatedly in Zelda's fancy royal tent (that Gerudo Link has to assemble for her) just outside the Lost Woods.

In Breath of the Sky, Cloud and Zel are slowly making their way over to the picnic that Princess and Champion set up for everyone. Champ is nervously eating all the food. Mipha is hovering in the distance hoping everything is ok. It's sunny and warm and pleasant outside, at least, despite all the drama.

In the Imprisoning War Era, Hemisi and Link snuck out of the castle while he's still sick because Link wants to spend time with Hemisi and she 100% plans to kidnap him to the desert (or at least to the Gerudo designated quarters so he can be taken care of until he gets better). Ganondorf is exasperated. Impa is too. Hemisi and Link look like drowned cats because it's pouring outside and they definitely were not crawling across the walls and roof of the castle haha nope!

In the Wild Spirit AU, Abel, Link, and Lyra are getting ready to fight Calamity Ganon. Abel hears his boy's voice again for hte first time, but there's a giant malice monster to deal with, worry about that later, Abel! The castle is dark and ominous and cold, it's starting to storm outside, it's time to get to business!

In a Hyrule fresh from the Calamity, Abel and Tilieth are starting to make plans for the next part of their journey. Abel definitely keeps waking Link up simply because he can, because he needs to after going to Blatchery Plain, and Til has to eventually get on his case about letting their poor son sleep. It's daybreak in Kakariko, it's time to hit the road again.

In Zora's Domain, a little four-year-old is about to explore the great world around him and his father will absolutely have a heart attack over it. But Link's ready to have an adventure!

In the Dad Squad, the dads are having an intense game of rummy and literally nobody can get the rules right. Abel's pretty sure Rusl's cheating, Rusl can't be cheating because Abel's playing it wrong, and Fierce just wings it while also wondering what the purpose of this entire ordeal is (this doesn't seem very conducive to strategy building, but perhaps it's for little immature mortal minds and the adults just do it to keep up the skills they learned as boys).

In LU in Healthcare, Sky's napping and therefore misses Wind frantically texting him about Warriors, but the rain is so gentle on the roof, the forest is quiet, and he's exhausted. Time, however, gets the messages before going into surgery, and soon it'll be time to pick up the pieces.

#random rambles #y'all I tried to play rummy with coworkers recently #and I could not remember how to play #it was tragic #anyway the forsaken au is once again making me laugh #HOW MANY AUS DO I HAVE AT THIS POINT THIS IS RIDICULOUS #anyway where would y'all want to chill/have an adventure? #I can't decide #but Zelda dragging Gerudo Link into chaos is making me laugh a lot #and Hemisi being an agent of chaos and Link 100% going along with it is also cracking me up #Ganondorf's gonna get an aneurysm #Fierce will never figure out how rummy works because Rusl and Abel keep teaching him different rules #breath of the sky my poor neglected beloved #I have no motivation for that story at the moment sigh #I have too many ideas my brain is scrambled #gonna probably play totk and see if ambience puts me in a better mood sigh

[bottombaron]

Nandor loves the sun

The only thing he remembered how to say in his own language (until recently) is 'good morning'

His bedroom is the only one with windows

His coffin faces and opens up towards the direction of the setting sun

He is literally tempting himself every day with sunlight

the sun is Guillermo

#wwdits #nandermo #what we do in the shadows #I know that Guillermo-is-like-the-sun metaphor is probably overdone at this point but #Guillermo is /literally/ the fucking sun to Nandor #in that Guillermo can kill him #his face is the first thing he sees when he wakes up #he wants nothing more than to be near him #but can't touch him because it would burn #Nandor tempts himself with that intimacy #as long as he does not pull back the curtain and reveal himself to it the sun cannot hurt him #and he can continue to keep it nearby #but he will never feel it's warmth... #how abt i talk about this forever how much will y'all hate me???

[icannotgetoverbirds]

FRIENDLY FUCKING REMINDER

image id: the meme of a woman holding a man on her hip in one arm and using the other to gesture "I'm watching you" at a third person. the woman is labeled "Me", the man is labeled "People with NPD/Cluster B personality disorders", and the third person is labelled "Ableists/sanists, people who believe in narc abuse". end image id

just saw some people being Like That to people that they claimed were narcissists, so here's your daily reminder that on this blog we support our cluster b besties.

#byrd chirps #narcissistic personality disorder #i do not have a cluster b afaik but i want cluster b having people to know that i am doing my damndest to understand and do right by y'all #every therapist I've ever been to calls my parents narcissists from what i tell them about them #and yet here i am defending people with npd #so why the fuck is it so gotdam hard for people to give a shit about the real human beings they could be hurting for no good gotdam reason? #it really shouldn't be that hard? #also if i fuck up please tell me #because I'm a big fat himbo (literally and metaphorically) who despite its best efforts can't always figure it out alone #i figure this shit out by listening to y'all so please by all means keep speaking up #people with cluster b disorders i am kissing you on the forehead i am so sorry about the world

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

Was supposed to write a quick fic of less than 5k words for @brainrot-has-overtaken-me prompt. So tell me why I just finished it and this happened

#I can't believe it #but then again #I can #I have had the HARDEST time keeping this short when it comes to this Advent Month #Like it's been a struggle #so idk why #I thought this would be short too #ahh well #I'm sure there are those at are giddy that it's longer #y'all better like this one #it's different than what y'all are used to #but I adore it sooooo much #spoiler #but I hope ya'll love Minks as much as I do #that's a person

[musical-chick-13]

Regarding the whole "Fandom Is An Escape, so why should I have to care this much about misogyny/racism/ableism/transphobia/etc." thing. Idk about the rest of you, but it gets kind of hard for me to "escape" when I keep seeing people say the same vile things about characters who share aspects of my identity that I hear all the time in real life.

#gotta say: it doesn't make me feel any better getting ignored/disparaged on account of my gender irl and then seeing every fictional woman #also get ignored/disparaged when there is no material difference between her and popular male characters other than her gender #how do I escape from irl misogyny if y'all keep willfully ignoring and flinging gendered insults at 99% (<-lowball estimate) of #female characters? how do I put aside the ableism I face in real life when y'all discuss disabled/mentally ill characters in the most #absolutely out-of-pocket way? how do I forget about biphobia when the 'arguments' you make 'for fun' about bisexual characters #in fiction sound EXACTLY the same as the things people say about my bisexuality outside of the internet/fan culture? #and then obviously this gets compounded if you are trying to even simply EXIST in fandom as a poc or a trans person or an intersection of #any or all these varying identities/life experiences #like yes caring about fictional characters is not the same as caring about real people OBVIOUSLY I can't BELIEVE I have to keep clarifying #that. and at the same time!! because multiple things can be true at the same time!!!! engaging in behavior that enforces pre-ingrained #societal biases and prejudices!!!!!!!! does not help dismantle those biases and prejudices!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in a real-world way that DOES #involve caring about actual people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #it's also. interesting. when people go on & on about how some newest show about thin cis white (male) gays is So Important & Revolutionary #So We Must Do Everything To Keep It Relevant And Visible and then act this way about women/poc/trans people/disabled people/fat people #in media. so like. you DO agree that seeing a variety of life experiences represented in fiction is beneficial. you DO believe in the #value of depicting marginalized people. interesting that that only seems to apply to a VERY narrow and specific category of marginalization #(ugh remember when I talked about this and someone called me a straight person good times)

[dirtytransmasc]

the autistic rage that is living with other people, actively waiting to go into a room till everyone's out of the room and doing their own things so you can use the room undisturbed, and the second you walk in there you have seemingly reminded people the room exists as they all need to be in there that very second, literally. everyone could be in there rooms, my grandma could be half asleep watching her soaps, but the second I put my headphones all the way on and start going about washing dishes (I find it relaxing) or fixing a snack, they're all in here

#especially the kitchen #if im in the kitchen I want to be left alone #y'all were just fucking in her go away #and (this is a call out. sorry grandma) its even more frustrating when they go in there. knowing you don't love sharing spaces sometimes- #to offer to make you food or to give you a rundown of whats where despite you doing a majority of the shopping #like yes. I know. i know there's ice pops and chicken and hamburgers but no buns cause I forgot to grab them... #I just want to enjoy being in the kitchen by my lonesome for 5 minutes without one of you people ruining it for me #I can't afford to live alone in this economy but I need to. I need to now. #I have too many issues to keep sharing a space #autism #sensory issues #actually autistic #put me out of my misery

[izzyspussy]

i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know! #or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water'' #or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me'' #etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain. #absolutely fucking exhausting

[the-music-maniac]

The severe lack of fics with versatile/switch vashwood is making me want to make fics, but I have no foOking time in my schedule, and it's reaching a point where one of these days I'm just gonna fucking snap and start writing porn at full brightness on public transport

#not that i don't love bottom Vash #especially trans vash y'all are so sexy for doing that #but i tend to like vers/switch dynamics more in my ships #plus wolfwood is so babygirl let both the babygirls get railed #also i kinda headcanon vash as intersex cause if we're talking purely plant biology most have both reproductive organs #also keep in mind since i did see a post about not fetishizing intersex people i'm using this term because i can't think of a better one #hermaphrodite doesn't seem quite right even though that is a biology term but it's not usually used for humans #i keep forgetting i know people in real life who follow me on here so if you saw this and you know me no you didn't #trigun stampede #vashwood #vash x wolfwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood

[youphoriaot7]

He smiles sadly as he stares down at the picture. A single moment, frozen in time. A better time, before the disappearances, before the pain. He glances away, down at the images around him.

Photos sprawl out across the tile floor, making it nearly impossible for anyone to walk through there without tripping. (That's okay. He's not getting up any time soon, and he certainly doesn't want to talk to anyone right now.)

Each image is like a glimpse of memory—everyone mid-laugh during Festa Junina, Richarlyson running away from Mike during a game of tag, a family portrait of the favela five... The pictures tell such a different story from their current reality.

Mike is gone. Vanished, swallowed up by the void inside that tower almost a week ago now. He hasn't been able to bring himself to search for him just yet, too afraid that he will start and find nothing. The fear of failure is stronger than his guilt and loss.

Richas is gone, too. Disappeared into thin air overnight—they didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. Nothing left but his shirt. No traces. No messages. Just silence in the halls that were never supposed to be so somber.

Felps has been as irregular as usual, albeit quieter than normal. He hasn't been seen around the island since Richas' shirt was found discarded on the bed—though that isn't exactly abnormal for him. (It doesn't make it any less worrying, however.)

He hasn't seen Forever since the day they discovered the children's disappearance. The man has been holed up in his presidential office for the past day and a half, not willing to talk to anyone. He wouldn't even open the door.

Cellbit is like a ghost. Pac's seen the other man around the island, but never for long. He doesn't talk; he appears and disappears seemingly at random; he barely makes eye contact. All he does is keep his head down, silently searching for any clues, any threads that could be connected to the disappearances.

(He has more resilience than Pac does. Pac can't even bring himself to walk around Chume Labs. There's too many reminders. Too much pain.)

Silently, he sets the photograph in his hand down, fingers trembling as it joins the sea of others on the floor. The visual representation of his memories is as blurry as his own mind feels as the tears start to well up once again.

Quickly, he sniffs, wiping a wrist across his eyes. The least he can do is get the storeroom ready. For when they return.

Because they will return. They have to.

Or Pac doesn't think he's going to make it.

#watching pac look at the photo albums earlier gave me immediate brainrot #i need my boys back together y'all i can't keep doing this #qsmp #qsmp pac #qsmp tazercraft #qsmp fic #qsmp drabble #qsmp mike #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp felps #qsmp forever #qsmp cellbit #ev;hatch #ev;watchtower #disappearances