#absolutely fucking exhausting

[izzyspussy]

i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know! #or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water'' #or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me'' #etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain. #absolutely fucking exhausting

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

butterfly Howdy... he must be the prettiest girl at the party.... also so so tired

#i imagine that metamorphosis is Exhausting #turning to goop & then reforming takes a lot of work and energy yk #absolutely zero rest going on in there! #i can so vividly picture everyone gathering around his chrysalis waiting for him to emerge #ready to watch him to break free Beautiful and Refreshed #and then he just kinda. slides out and slaps against the ground. goopy. half dead. confused. crinkled #also much fluffier!!! #when he dries. before that he looks like someone drowned him #Having So Many Butterfly Howdy Thoughts #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #howdy pillar #yassified howdy <3 #i wanted his butterfly form to be like... longer??? more ~Elegant~ if that makes sense? #longer hair... longer fluff... longer antennae... claws bc why the fuck not. claws fuck severely. #eyelash thingies.... #hed probably end up cutting his hair short again but yk. wanna draw him with whatever the fuck that style is #is it a mullet? WHO KNOWS!

[svtskneecaps]

"do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he created" except it's the qsmp admins realizing players including but not limited to forever, pierre, tazercraft, cellbit, phil, fit, bad, and etoiles are able and completely willing to break the server for reasons such as "to gamble more", or simply because it's funny

#qsmp #pierre crashed the server so they could gamble #fit could absolutely crash the server to gamble #etoiles is so cracked they had to spawn enough mobs to lag the server to pose a threat to him #phil has chayanne in pieces simply bc it's funny #bad would break the server to gamble and he is at the moment functionally immortal (22 totem pop tom over here) #tazercraft caught cucurucho in his chayanne pajamas breaking back into the nether and also shredded a federation build with a fucking drill #cellbit cracked their arg in like a week and may at this point have a more comprehensive lore document than the admin team lmfao #forever has been nerfed at LEAST twice and that's absolutely not gonna be the end of it #this is not an exhaustive list. god help the qsmp admin team. #shut up vic #block game brainrot

[18catsreading]

Jaysohn: that's Lukas

Tula: oh

Lukas: [congested] mint, mama! I had mint and I need it to live!

Tula: oh, uh

Aabria: full meltdown

Tula: hi, are you Lukas?

Lukas: it's the bosses of me! Hi.

Tula: the what?

Lukas: they're the bosses of me

Jaysohn: I'm not your boss

Tula: Jaysohn

Jaysohn: I don't --

Tula: why is Lukas telling me that you're the boss of him?

Lila: we gave him back!

Tula: what do you mean --

Jaysohn: we gave him back to Education.

Tula: you gave him back?

Lukas: they gave me back, but my allegiance remains with Jaysohn and Lila.

Tula: is your nose stuffy?

Lukas: yeah

Tula: come here come here come here [Brennan:] I'm going to lay on hands five points to cure a disease, and I'm just gonna blow into one of his nostrils.

Aabria: yea!

Rashawn: oh!

Brennan: just [pwah] just catch a bunch of snot.

All: noises of general disgust

Aabria: Amazing! A snot rocket like, scatters across the ground.

All: more noises of disgust and dismay

Tula: oh, there you go sweetie.

Lukas: [not congested!] Oh my God! Mom! That lady's mouth is mint! Hi

Tula: hi

Lukas: I pledge my allegiance to your family forever!

Tula: oh that's very --

Jaysohn: yeah, you gotta stop giving yourself away, it's weird.

Lukas: breathes in and out deeply

Jaysohn: but you can be our friend

#aabria iyengar #dimension 20 #burrow's end #ep 6 reactor charlie #siobhan thompson #brennan lee mulligan #isabella roland #rashawn scott #jasper william cartwright #erika ishii #thank you so much for biting my child's congestion out of his face #meredith is fucking exhausted #my child is hyperventilating in the corner now #the difference between none and teo is infinity so adding three you can't get more than infinity #jaysohn and lila just being absolute gremlins in the background #they are getting Lukas in trouble right now he just got the neutral look

[thedroloisms]

breaking news: being a victim in the past does not give you a get out of jail free card as far as acting like an abusive cunt. literally cannot STAND the so-called victim advocates on twitter who will put their self-righteous right to soapbox over the safety of others to the point of endorsing abusive behavior just because they think that prior trauma makes them a good person. fuck off and go do some actual self reflection.

#born and raised in the generational trauma machine and absolutely EXHAUSTED w/ people believing that being abused #makes them a good person. like historically it tends to make you worse. tbh ! just saying !!! #abuse doesn't fucking make you the lord jesus christ himself how about you try some actual self reflection instead #abuse

[cyberdragoninfinity]

idk. fandom is general is bad about it but anime fandoms are. Really Particularly Not Great About Fat People (and especially the ygo fandom?!?! guys cmon what are we doing) and it can be frustrating.... challenge and think about the way you talk about and react to fat character designs. even if it isnt out of malice it can still be rooted in fatphobic stereotypes (as with any type of society-ingrained bigotry). sometimes the guy is just fat. and it's fine. "fat" isn't a bad word lol

#just. in general. woke up still a little pissed about that ask yesterday and thinking about things #ygo fandom on the whole really particularly not very slick about Absolutely Fucking Hating Fat People and it is. a bit exhausting HFDHGFD

[godblooded]

just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.

just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.

#ooc. o kaptain. #[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my #brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny #apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each #other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen #literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for #lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either #entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted #broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah #dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be #interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and #frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]

[youngpettyqueen]

there's something about Hawkeye sitting on a bench outside OR splashing cold coffee on his face and using it to shave, while using a tray held between his knees as a mirror so he can see what he's doing

#mash #hawkeye pierce #and then the scene with the Ethiopian soldier... #its the exhaustion its the making do with what he's got in a fleeting break between shifts just to shave #and when he's doing that here comes this wounded soldier he just fixed up who kisses his hand to show his thanks #MASH episode OR my absolute fucking beloved

[grandadtwelve]

made some charts for my favorite messy polycule according to the expansive and over-complicated headcanons that exist only in my head <3

1. are actively in a romantic relationship

2. have, at some point, actually had sex

3. have, at some point, had a toxic homoerotic best friendship AND a dramatic breakup

4. are, like, actually best friends

5. cannot currently interact for the sake of the timeline :/

6. are not allowed in the same room because they will try to kill each other (and not in a fun way)

7. has no idea that they’re in a polycule

#twissy/misffle are one throuple and then jack/clara/river are another and clara is exhausted all the time <3 #i was trying to sort out all the different concepts I have layered on top of each other and actually this was really fun and helpful #I mean. to me. this is absolutely useless to anyone else #and also this is all within the twelfth doctors regeneration specifically lol #except the ‘had sex’ one. jack fucked nine <3 #ot3: cause she’s perfect innit #twissy #misffle #riverclara #twelveriver #i don’t have a jack/river/clara tag but i should make one #doctor who #river song #jack harkness #twelfth doctor #missy #clara oswald #mios #immortal ex companions polycule

[mbat]

sorry for the james somerton jumpscare but im finally getting to finish hbomberguys video and the fact hes wearing this hat is painful to see. YOU DID CRIME. AGAINST YOUR OWN COMMUNITY! THATS NOT WHAT BE GAY DO CRIME MEANS!

#my post #james somerton #hbomberguy #im literally only at the halfway point in the video rn #im already in pain just from having seen the first half #especially the guy who had the harold avatar with antisemitic fans. help. what the fuck was that #the only person out of the first half of the video i knew was blair. i didnt even care about any of her videos except for like 5 of them lo #like. her video on the scouts. her video on salvation army #good to know those were also most definitely plagiarized #im absolutely dreading this second half. cause i actually used to watch james for a little while. #i havent watched him in months because he was exhausting to watch. like the way he talked and presented things was becoming a pain #like he sounded pretentious but i didnt know what it sounded like before. but he sounds pretentious when he talks

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i got the job

#im. already exhausted #yay! no more being a complete fucking Leech! #boo! killing myself for a paycheck!!!! #well im already perpetually stressed through the roof i might be able to handle this #ill just cruise.... ill Surf the waves in a high stress environment.... #yay food service.... #absolutely unprompted

[camels-pen]

am i gonna make up a whole devil fruit that makes absolutely no sense just to have sanuso in an extremely specific scenario from The S-Classes that I Raised ? Sources say yes

enter, the sense-sense fruit -> it can do all sorts of stuff, including dulling senses (ex. touch, so that allies feel less pain in battle), but the thing that matters is that the current user can also connect people's senses together and she does that to Sanji and Usopp

the usual response is "what- what the FUCK this is SO GODDAMN WEIRD" & panic that makes her victims easier to fight and win against for her and her crew

that still sorta happens, but since Sanji's useless against women anyway, he an Usopp manage to figure that if one of them doesn't do anything (closed eyes, staying completely still, just focused on breathing, etc.) then the other can fight just fine

of particular note, no matter what Sanji hears and no matter how tempted he is to peek, he is absolutely certain Usopp will handle it and that he won't let Sanji get hurt

there is definitely a close call or two where an axe flies just past/over Sanji's head or something, but Usopp handles it and Sanji doesn't even flinch

eventually the woman runs away & they deal with the sense sharing for the next few days until it wears off and they never deal with it again

here's where the big OR comes in

instead of never dealing with it again, they could end up doing something sorta similar to The S-Classes that I Raised and there is a lingering effect on the sense-sense power

where, if Usopp or Sanji focus with their Observation Haki, they can share their senses with each other briefly (able to do this because the sense-sense fruit gave them the experience to understand what that felt like, so they experiment until they can recreate it for uh,, reasons i haven't figured out yet)

it can cause a toll on their bodies if they do it for too long, especially for Usopp because his body isn't as sturdy as Sanji's (oh fuck, if he uses sense-sharing while Sanji's in "indestructible mode" that would very much fuck up Usopp)

essentially, using it too much could lead to them passing out from exhaustion. pushing through it could put dangerous pressure on their brains & lead to nosebleeds. yes this is p much magical exhaustion whump bc i love that shit

can't really think of reasons why they'd want to share senses- maybe it's just a curiousity thing for them. and also maybe Robin asking if Usopp can learn Sanji's Sky Walk just by sharing senses? hmm

maybe there are times that Sanji needs eyesight as good as Usopp's to see something far off. maybe Usopp needs more discreet ways of alerting Sanji to danger to himself. so, primarily a form of communication

overall though, i'm just a sucker for all those scenes where the MC passes out from overusing his sense-sharing powers in The S-Classes that I Raised and want to put Usopp in those situations <3

#one piece #sanuso #usopp #sanji #nemotime #sense sense fruit #wahooo #magical exhaustion my beloved #og post is on cohost i just forgot to post it here too apparently #if i had screenshots saved from that manhwa i would put them all here bc goddamn i love it #if i could've worked in a thing about people Really loving the benefits of sense-sharing and trying to kidnap usopp for it #like they do to the MC in S-Classes. i Absolutely Would've lmao #i tide myself over w magical exhaustion for now tho. kidnappings can be a treat for another time <3 #oh hm. kinda fucked up on the 'maybe sanji needs good eyesight' thing. since he doesnt get better eyesight by sharing senses #we'll just say that he wants to see what usopp's seeing but neither of them brought binoculars so sanji decides to cheat lmao

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

based on your asks responses & characterization of yuuta this is what i’ve gathered — yuuta is like that one high school senior who looked at the new coming freshman’s & just adopted them on the spot. there’s no out. now his friends sees the kid & adopted them too. it’s a family now. a very young, close in age family. (i was yuuta in this situation 😔 i was use to be megumi in this situation but i carried the tradition out. as i should. high school & middle school was wild.)

YUUJI THOUGH. we will probably never see him in your sea glass garden au but your asks is killing me. like his one sided beef with yuuta? he’s just like me fr. i too would fight over megumi if it comes down to it.

i just know yuuji thought that yuuta & megumi was a thing at first cause of the whole “his boy thing”. i know he screamed into a pillow about it. i know he went to gojo to ask for permission to court megumi & gojo was flabbergasted at such a medieval act so he had yuuji do the dumbest shit to get his blessing (ha).

i just know nanami is sighing at the idea of his son yuuji being a jealous little brat because of his other son yuuta. i just know yuuta was so confused until he witnessed yuuji & megumi awkward ass flirting. i know he acts like a little shit to get on yuuji (& sukuna) nerves.

you know what. this is my jujutsu kaisen. this is my sorcery fight. gege who? i only know you. PLS TAKE THE PEN FROM GEGE.

Yuuta is absolutely that senior who adopted that new student and made a little family. That is His Kohai now okay megumi is their collectively raised flour sack baby and they will kill for him.

Yuuji came back to life finally met the second years had just leveled up with his cursed energy and gained a new dad got his old friends back he was so so ready to go live his best life and then his new self appointed brother opened his mouth and started rhapsodizing about some impossibly beautiful and perfect man named okkotsu yuuta and yuuji is absolutely whacked in the face a la rubber squeaky hammer that there’s some gorgeous son of a bitch out there already living his best life.

His death sentence was overturned. He’s so powerful that he can save everyone if he wants. He is the legally adopted child of Nanami Kento. The curse attached to him 1) actually liked him and 2) moved the fuck on which some people (Sukuna) could take a few notes on.

Fushiguro Megumi is his boy.

This could not have devastated him more thoroughly. Even his newly acquired self appointed brother thinks okkotsu yuuta is the perfect man, which he manages to express at length in between warnings from the second years that Yuuta’s going to fly back from Africa purely for the sake of kicking his fucking ass for touching His Boy, which yuuji simply cannot handle.

Yuuji lowkey had a new lease on life and thought “hey! Fushiguro tried to kill someone with an elephant for me! Maybe I have a shot and he’ll let me hold his hand!” and then there’s god’s perfect man off in Africa who’s enticing megumi away from movie marathons with his fucking FaceTime calls right when yuujis almost hyped himself up enough to try the yawning arm stretch thing.

He spends at least three weeks trying to figure out if Megumi’s His Boy because they’re in a long distance relationship and it only ends because maki starts finding it more annoying than funny and establishes that it is not in fact a romantic arrangement. She thinks. (Okay it’s still kind of funny.)

Yuuji resorted to a terrible wikihow on how to get someone to date you and it insisted “get their parents approval” was his in and gojo could NOT have been more of an asshole about it. Nanami had to intervene to get it to stop. He is very tired and very confused. Why are you so upset about okkotsu he’s a lovely young man why is this making you more upset

Of course if yuuji ever found out that megumi became Yuuta’s boy after Yuuta personally restarted his heart he’d instantly understand why everyone acts like Yuuta’s the best thing since sliced bread. He is that amazing.

Yuuta and Megumi are completely oblivious to all of this.

Gege pls call me I just want to help gege pls

#sea glass gardens #just remember YOU can forcibly displace gege and turn the creative property over to me #I will be making several. SEVERAL. changes. #yuuji absolutely goes back into his room and screams into his pillow over Yuuta #he was going to try to hold Megumi’s hand and Megumi left to go talk to Yuuta just because he was ‘calling all the way from Africa’ and ‘the #movie ended five minutes ago why were you just sitting there looking like you were really stressed are you okay itadori’ #nobara is exhausted just watching this #she’s the most homophobic lesbian alive why do lgbtq things happen to people who don’t deserve it #god she just wants a girlfriend with a sword and these fucking assholes are the ones who get their high school romance they don’t even #APPRECIATE the gay things happening to them #ignoring all canon since we’re never getting there in sea glass gardens #when Yuuta’s coming back from Africa Megumi’s very simply stating that Yuuta’s an important person in his life and he’s glad yuuji wjll #meet him soon which might as well be a DECLARATION OF UNDYING LOVE yuuji has a total crisis #yuuta gets off the plane and fucking hugs megumi yuuji had to get boyfriend privileges to do that who is this son of a bitch #gojo watching this: do you think I can get yuuji to wash my car again if I tell him I’ll distract Yuuta so he can take Megumi on a date #Nanami: why on earth would okkotsu need to be distracted for that to happen #gojo: that’s the beauty of it it is in no way necessary but yuuji doesn’t seem to know that

[sunnibits]

you are so fucking right about babies. baby naps are hardcore the most cutest naps ever. i love babies i feel like that’s an unpopular around here but they’re just so cute. anyway real footage of me anytime i see a baby

REALLLL ME TOOOO!!! I’m always just like. holy shit a baby. holy shit ur so small. dude I hate to alarm you but um. did u know ur so small. like. are you aware that you are in fact just a little guy. itty bitty even. and the baby’s just like: 👁👄👁

anyways this is a real image of me at work every Saturday

#mr wiggles my absolute fucking beloved. the cutest fucking little guy ever #fr tho I don’t get why so many ppl on tumblr are so fucking mean to kids like 😭😭 #I get that society has made you absolutely exhausted of the way we’re all expected to have kids and treat them like miracles but also. #babies are actually cute and special unfortunately. like they actually are sick as hell if u give them a chance. #I know not everyone wants a baby but I feel like the mere concept of the way children perceive the world fits in very well with the tumblr - #- populations general philosophy of romanticism and enjoying little experiences in life #idk. maybe I think about things too much. but that’s just my thought #ask box #anyways I would kill fifty armed men in cold blood for even my least favorite kids at work and that is a promise #they may drive me crazy but I would take a bullet for them without hesitation #doodles

[lealdern]

How To Stay Conscious When You Drown Ch6

Explicit content further on: Minors please DNI.

Dick x Reader She/her reader AO3 Link

First - Prev Chapter - Next Chapter

Summary: Dick Grayson is going through hard times, you see that on his face before you even know his name. You reach out a hand to offer comfort without realising he’s a man treading water.

Chapter 6: Memento

Dick is leaning against your apartment door frame with tired eyes and his clothes are already dishevelled, looking like he’s gone to the club without you before realising you aren’t with him.

“Are you ready?” He breathes out. His smile is easy and light, but you can tell he’s exhausted from his face and the way he’s near-supporting himself on the door.

“Are you?” you ask with a small laugh, “Come in, sit down, you look exhausted Dick.”

The tilt of your head is soft, but he knows you won’t budge, so after a moment he slumps in and sits heavily on your couch, head resting against the back. He’s not sure how long it’s been since he closed his eyes when he feels the couch dip next to him, but when he opens them, your high-heeled black shoes are gone, tight clad legs curled up underneath you, and you’ve got two glasses of wine in your hands and between your teeth is a leaflet for the local Chinese takeout he likes.

“Babe, no, we’ve had this planned for ages, I told you I’d take you out,” he sighs, but against his words he doesn’t move, like he doesn’t have the energy, and it’s a pointless protest. You hand him a wine glass, the wine well aired since you’d opened it a couple of hours ago while you’d gotten ready, pampering yourself for a proper date night with Dick.

“I’m a cheap date,” you smile, “Not really one for fancy French food anyway,” leaning forward you press a kiss to his lips, and you feel him lean into it, exhaustion keeping him from chasing you further when you pull back, “I prefer takeout and making out.”

It gets a huff of a laugh out of Dick and you know you’ve won: Even if you had wanted to go out, staying home with Dick, legs entwined on the couch with empty takeout containers and your favoured corner shop wine, is something you prefer so much more.

Dick can’t help but feel bad, watching you as you sip on your wine and look over the menu (he knows you’ll end up ordering the same thing you always have, you always do). He can see the effort you put into your clothes, hair beautifully styled, nails shining with fresh polish, and a little black dress with tights. As nice as you look with heels, he finds the sight of you done up so nicely without them on strangely intimate.

“I’ve let you down again.” He sighs, reaching a hand out to rest on your knee that’s only visible since your dress has ridden up to your thigh as you’ve curled comfortably.

You give him a look, eyebrow raised with a twist of a smile on your pretty lips, “You’re here, and that’s all I want from a date, Dick.” You put your wineglass on the coffee table and flop carefully next to him opening the menu for him to see as he takes a sip of his own wine. “If I get prawn toast will you split it with me? They always send too much.” The topic change is obvious to him but he lets it happen, giving into the comfortable and cozy night in with you, knowing he’ll need it before the next couple of days ahead.

Bruce had called him, wanting him back in Gotham for a mission first thing in the morning, but even while Dick himself was in the middle of interrupting a kidnapping he thought of you and told him “Not tonight… I’ll be there tomorrow.” And even with Bruces protests he’d cut short the call and headed home to get ready to take you out after he’d finished. He doesn’t know how he deserves you, but he’s glad he has you all the same.

“Yeah, I’ll split it.” He says, knowing you won’t get it if he doesn’t, and he knows you like them even if they’re not his favourite starter. Looking at you he can feel himself soften, can hear it in his voice and feel it in the way his focus is on only you, “What are you getting?”

“I don’t know, I might try the curry…” You say, eyes skimming the menu as he watches you, a gentle smile pulling on his mouth.

“Yeah?” he says, endearment colouring his question.

“Well… Maybe- No, I’ll stick with the noodles.”

“I love you.” It’s not the first time he’s said it, it won’t be the last, but the tenderness in his voice has you stilling a moment, smiling before you’re leaning into him, pressing a kiss against his lips. Even with how tired he is, he pulls you into his lap to kiss you back, large hands spread underneath your thighs as he holds you close.

“I love you too.” You hum it against his lips and it’s the sweetest song he’s ever heard.

It’s not the way you looked when you opened the door that sticks in Dick’s mind the next day as he drives to Gotham, ready for an exhausting weekend: It’s the way you’d curled against him in your comfortable pyjamas, kissing him with lips that tase a little like the noodles you’d eaten, the tang of wine on your tongue.

When he left this morning he watched you for a moment from your doorway, the sight of you sleeping soundly, is one he sears into his mind to carry with him, like a photograph in a wallet; arm stretched into the empty space of the bed having sought him out already even though he’d only been up for fifteen minutes.

He’ll carry you with him, he thinks, a home away from home.

Next Chapter

A/N: This chapter was inspired by Cheap Date by Caitlyn Smith . It's been a busy December and I hope you're all doing well. I cheated with this one because I slotted it in after already writing chapter 6 and realising it was way too heavy too quick. I wanted this to be softer, gentler, even with that sad spin I tend to put on things. Anyway, Merry Christmas for tomorrow, hopefully be back posting for new year.

#dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #dc x reader #my writing #dick grayson reader #nightwing reader #nightwing/reader #dick grayson/reader #HTSCWYD #I am exhausted #christmas once again fucks me but I persist #I wanted this out for christmas day #december once again you have been an absolute arse ache