#yeah im one day late so what

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

this is how it feels to chew 5 gum being a barnaby/howdy enjoyer. im Unwell

#im just staring at a wall rotating them in my brain. constantly. no coherent thoughts theyre just There #its like... hate to Expose myself but yk that one supernatural episode #that was filmed like a mockumentary by the Ghost Hunter Guys. yk the episode with the 'gay love saves the day' quote #yeah yk the scene where the guys are screaming trying to escape cas but everywhere they turn / each door they open Cas Is There #that is also what it feels like being a laughingstock enthusiast #im trying to escape it. i cant. theyre Everywhere. #i go to sleep thinking about them. i wake up and theyre one of my first thoughts #ITS TOO MUCH! theyre too good.... #if youre reading this and youre like 'theyre cute but i dont really ship them' #Its Already Too Late. #cause thats how i felt. i thought they were gonna be a silly nonserious concept in the back of my mind #a crackship yk #look at me now... #laughingstock #i thought franklydear was gonna be The Welcome Home Pairing for me #i love them so so so much theyre everything but laughingstock is More. Somehow. #then again! we'll see what new characters and dynamics arise in the future! things may change! #but for now... mentol ellness over the dog and the caterpillar #that sounds like a childrens book lmfao

[clowningaroundmars]

hey. hey did yall notice smthn interesting about the kane dogs in the show and the mechanical hounds in fahrenheit 451? :)

especially the energy boosted kane dog? especially especially bc it grew an extra set of legs?

ya wanna know what else is interesting?

:)

#motorcity #mine #isnt that just fascinating #ofc im not pointing out anything new wrt mike and his past #we already know kane used him to... enforce deluxes interests on motorcity #and the writers even hinted that mike leading the demo crew That Fateful Day wasnt the only time he'd ever been down in mc #we could get into what mike did in mc exactly that has him feelin so guilty. we could speculate for hours even #however this post is about dystopias and dystopian media borrowing themes from each other #in order to teach each generation about dystopian fascist topics #and to see this in a kids show too :') wow #the writers did a fantastic job of weaving this particular character into this show #bc i deadass did not pick up on this until a yt vid i was watching one day mentioned mechanical hounds i think #idk but since bradburys novel is kinda trending again lately im sure it was smthn that brought it up to my attention #but yeah wow #high fives @ the writers for this thread being woven into a kids show about racing cars and beating dictators #from a novel in the 1950s nonetheless LOL

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[peribirb]

🦔 <alone on a friday night god i'm pathetic

#sorry i keep posting like this i think my brain is just trying to kill me lately you can ignore/block these posts if you want #im just really feeling the weight of a life unlived and a world unexperienced sitting heavy on my shoulders tonight #i feel like i sound like a whiny teenager but. i dunno it really does hurt #i feel so fundamentally disconnected from the world around me like i can only process things through the lens of like #treating the world like it's a story i'm reading about not something i'm physically part of. i can't wrap my head around that #i feel so deeply inhuman like. i'm conscious of things and i can see what's going on but it feels like an entirely different world #one that i'm cut off from and can only study from afar. like some sort of sentient AI stuck in a computer #and every day that goes by feels like one step farther away from ever changing that. like im gonna have to accept that i'm not actually rea #...actually yeah i. really don't feel like i'm real. #delete later

[silenthillbunni]

🧸🧃⛈️

#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset #bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard #nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc #nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time #in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders.... #it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me #(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them) #the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply #also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T #i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!! #my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol #i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot #why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days #many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk #but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie #yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it #hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours #then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do

[lesbiansanemi]

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER #I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family #I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get #home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep #she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM #and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late #she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘ #BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon #(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to) #and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’ #and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them #and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’ #but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side #I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY #never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me #IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough #but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later #cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be #there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them #I’m going to scream I’m going to cry #if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them #but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave #FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL #and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother #I KNOW she did this on purpose #I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long #(again… because of work… something I can’t control) #so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position #where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then #or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much

[whumble-beeee]

Whumptember 2023, Day 10

“What are you doing to them?”

Brainwashed | Hanging from their wrists | Phone call 

The Bee’s Whumptember Masterlist

~900 words

CW: Frank talk of future character murder, tazer (but no tazing, funnily enough), blood, sadistic whumper, brainwashed whumpee

------------

Whumpee had long since given up trying to support their own weight. It’s not like the expended effort would do anything for them except tire them out even more, make their wrists blister and bleed until the shiny red tracks of blood crisscrossed down their arms and around bruised skin and swollen flesh, aggravate their already barely functional shoulder muscles as they screamed out to be freed of the burden of bearing Whumpee’s entire weight. These days, energy was a woefully scarce commodity. It couldn’t be wasted on pointless endeavors like struggling.

Whumper suddenly stopped messing with their taser, crossing their arms over their chest and looking Whumpee up and down with narrowed eyes. They clicked their tongue. “You know what? You’re starting to get really boring.”

Whumpee half opened their eyes and pulled the edges of their mouth back, as if asking what Whumper wanted them to do about it. Sure, it was great when Whumper was happy, even if it came at the cost of Whumpee’s mind, body, and soul, but it wasn’t Whumpee’s fault that they weren’t responsive enough. Whumper should have taken better care of his toy if they didn’t want them to break. And Whumpee was already so far beyond broken.

“Mm, yeah…” Whumper nodded to themself, clicking their tongue again and resting their chin on their fingers, as if deep in thought. “Looks like time’s just about up for you... Might be time to let you go.”

Whumpee quirked their head up, as much as they could with their arms wrenched above them, practically holding their head in a vice. Let them go? The idea that Whumper would ever do something as merciful as letting them go made Whumpee’s eye’s go wide. Whumper was many things, but merciful, caring, any other positive adjective, really, was not one of them.

Whumper practically doubled over with laughter at Whumpee's stupid little facial expression. “Oh! Oh, no, not like that, you stupid waste of space!” Whumper could barely get out the full sentence through their hysterics. “No, no I mean like, the other let you go. Y’know, like,” Whumper raised their taser and slammed it in Whumpee’s head in an unmistakable stabbing motion, slamming Whumpee once, twice, three times, more, until Whumpee was seeing stars and their head was spinning wildly. They swung back and forth slowly on the chain wrenching their wrists toward the heavens, breath shuddering through their teeth, new blood caking on top of old.

“Like that,” Whumper continued nonchalantly. “But with a real knife, y’know. Or we could do something else, I don’t have to stab you in the head. That might be too hard to do anyway…” They paused, as if lost in thought again, before flipping their hands down, shooing the thought away. “Whatever, we’ll see where the vibe takes us.” 

Whumper’s eyes suddenly lit up with a new idea, and Whumpee felt a cold snake of fear slithering and squeezing its way through their usual need to please, choking them out with useless thoughts of fear and survival. “And now that I don’t have to hold back, we can really have some fun, right? I’ve always wanted to try an upright vivisection…” They lightly traced the prongs of the taser gently down Whumpee’s cut-riddled stomach, leaving prickly gooseflesh in its wake. 

No, no, no, this was all wrong. Whumpee wasn’t supposed to think any of those pesky thoughts like ‘I don’t want to die’ or ‘please stop’ or ‘get AWAY from me!’ They lived to make Whumper happy, and if it made Whumper happy to kill them, then that’s what Whumpee would do. Die. For Whumper. It’s what they were for…

So why were they suddenly so scared?! Why did they want to scream and cry and beg for Whumper to ‘Please! God! No, don’t! Stop!’ Why were they dreaming of someone bursting through to door and looking at Whumper in absolute horror and yelling “What are you doing to them?!” and whisking Whumpee away to safety while whispering sweet nothings, somewhere Whumper couldn’t hurt them ever again. Or kill them. That wasn’t right of Whumpee. They were there to make Whumper happy. That’s it. 

Except… If Whumpee was dead, would Whumper be able to be happy anymore? Whumpee wouldn’t be there anymore, so who else could make Whumper happy? Maybe if Whumpee just… pointed that out…

No. Whumpee did as Whumper wanted. If Whumper told them to die, then they would. No questioning it. No trying to change it. Besides, they were too tired to try anything anyway. Right?

Whumper was prancing to the door when Whumpee finally came back to themself. “I’ll go get my tools!” They called as they slammed open the door. They then noticed the taser still in their hand and pelted it at Whumpee. Whumpee cringed away from the flying object as it struck them in the chest. “BRB, and stay there!”

Whumpee didn’t know how or where they would go even if they wanted to (which they DIDN’T). Besides, they were good for Whumper. So they stayed dutifully there, arms aching painfully above their head, toes barely touching to floor, and trying not to acknowledge their speeding heart and shallow breaths as they waited for Whumper to return for the last time.

@whumptember

#whumptember day 10 #whumptember2023 #day ten: what are you doing to them #day ten: brainwashed #day ten: hanging by their wrists #whump #writblr #whump scenario #whumper #whumpee #sadistic whumper #brainwashed whumpee #ok ok yeah yeah this ones a day late #i had such a busy day yesterday #but it was a great time #so no regrets #shorter one bc im not really feeling this one too much tbh #I was gonna have another scene where a detective or something got a phone call about 'we finally found whumpee!' #and they burst in and save whumpee #hence whumpees little daydream #but eh #I'm also not too partial to the brainwashed whumpee trope most of the time unless it serves the narrative #but i wanted to at least try it out #so here ya go

[horrorwebs]

why are men literally the fucking worst

#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group #and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt #and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you #he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive. #her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like #butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there #talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying #ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL #AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things #he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like? #if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her #get away from her really #sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad + #that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no. #even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross #so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker #about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being #like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc . #dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough #also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction #is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope #up. #so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad #and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see #spikeposting #personal

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

yeehaw just wrote over 3k and i can't publish Any of it without miles of fantasy au context

#technically its a full scene and a half #brain: hey what if a solid thousand words was just silly puppets having breakfast #and then i said 'damn youre so right' and yeah. silly puppets having breakfast and arguing over ale vs mead #i love writing from barnaby's pov. im so unfunny that its ruining his reputation #i go There Could Be A Joke Here #but head Empty so there isn't one. i continue on. rinse and repeat #anyway big scene of barnaby and wally bonding #as i was writing i was honestly like 'the wallaby enjoyers would have a field day with this' #am i one of them? no. however i know my 'qp barnaby and wally' belief bleeds into my writing #so yk. its easily read either way. #of course i immediately counteract it by sprinkling in a laughingstock crumb or two but yk yk #fantasy au is so fun to chew on... everyone gets to say Fuck and threaten genuine violence... #absolutely unprompted #speaking of writing im actually going to Attempt nanowrimo this year #im gonna try to belt out the roughest rough draft of a standalone book idea #i still need to finish the outline but! im sure i can do that in 10 days! #but anyway ive been having so many fantasy au feelings lately idk why #i think i need to rewatch lotr! extended editions of course im not an animal. #well i am. but - yeah whatever yall get it #im craving that sweet sweet high fantasy & worldbuilding & high quality cinema

[autistic-daydreamer]

Man I am having a shit morning I am so glad for the new Reasons To Worry chapter, it's the only good thing I woke up to this morning

@kale-of-the-forbidden-cities KEEFE HAS ENTERED THE SCENE LETS GOOO

oh- I mean poor guy

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #reasons to worry #alden vacker #fitz vacker #alvar vacker #biana vacker #fanfic #ao3 #i woke up this morning and was like “huh it doesnt feel like the wee hours of the morn” bc what other time would i wake up before my alarm #goes off #i go to check my phone and I see it's not plugged in... i try to turn it on #IT WONT #“FUCK” #yeah so I woke up 40 minutes late #im just glad today is one of the days where there isnt a lot of traffic 🙏🏼

[perenlop]

pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:

the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon

to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)

the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon

pretty much everything about that gible

blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)

boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen

pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character

#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit #the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league #but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle #i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/ #that battling didnt even come up once #ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one #but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me #and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just #had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we #but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc #where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass #she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask #the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy #but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own #have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent #like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward #rewarding #imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show #as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all #was kind of a shitty move #like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th #which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself #by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!! #like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there #so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall #echoed voice

[humanmorph]

lemferos. thinking so much about them lately

#friends at the table #fatt #seasons of hieron #hieron #rosa art #fero feritas #lem king #lemfero #ok you can barely see safewater in lems hair in the first one but he is there #i listened to a mountain goats fero playlist the other night and it made me a kindof miserable #and the next day i went well what if.i drew fero happy for once what about that #lemfero is The Thing its true and real to me basically. theyre #the thing is their breakup is so fun and i really love when theyre kind of awful to each other BUT WELL the potential for them caring. #about each other and being sweet. its post canon to me ive got a whole timeline by which i shouldve probably drawn them more wrinkles #im having fun drawing lately AND liking what i draw its still. mindblowing #gearing up for secsam.i guess : ) #i love drawing fero on green backgrounds i think 80% if feros ive drawn are like this #ok one last thing well if you read all these. thanks : ) i like talking. but yeah when i started sketching lem looked wildly different #in each drawing(i had another one of just him i just didnt like at all) and it was funny to me bc u could clearly see #who my favourite of the two was(its fero) but i think now its kind of fine so i cant make that joke anymore but i still did wanna mention it #. #im going to bed now

[pallases]

ourgejjg

#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the #lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭 #best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad #personal #also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim #to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn #it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight #instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for #easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte #and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT #promising and. AAAAA #also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my #free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️ #the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles #i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal… #oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well #what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3 #OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat #it hereeee #soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that #idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and #stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn #ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.

[vamptastic]

i think my constant seething rage is honestly very reasonable. i literally live in florida.

#got in argument with a guy the other day abt idk. trans athletes #was basically him trying to explain what the issue is to me (i know. that's kinda step one to having an opinion on it.) #and then going yeah huh i guess you're actually right (i was) #and i was like okay great cool we're done here let me go to class and he starts talking about like #how he still loves trump for this and that reason kinda unprompted (sorry you lost an argument dude go introspect somewhere else im LATE) #and i was like yeah idk abt that. on account of all the corruption. and the foreign policy youre saying is like manly macho man strong is #mostly just wildly stupid posturing that's going to achieve nothing at best and world war at worst #and he goes no don't worry i think DESANTIS would be better for 2024 actually #and i. UNDERSTANDBLY. was like oh okay i cannot speak to you (because i am visibly shaking with rage) #and he goes well i think you are misattributing my intentions (cunt.) #and i said no no i don't think you're malicious i just think you're stupid and wildly misinformed #and then left bc i was about to either hit him or start crying (bc that guy has been like very tangibly ruining my life for months #and i genuinely cannot fathom what fucking tax issue or whatever one would value over like. my right to idk. Exist atp. #and also this coming from someone who just tried to be like no i know so many trans people i love trans ppl im not like those conservatives #like try to dig deep down into whatever rotted husk of a brain is left in your skull and fathom why i might have a strong reaction to your #support for DESANTIS and the SPACE LASERS WOMAN #you fucking idiot.) #and was that civil. No. and now i have to apologize to him bc i feel bad about it even though i fully meant it #idk its what i get for trying to change peoples minds with stupid things like #' statistics ' and ' a utilitarian perspective ' and ' existing legal basis for my argument ' #guys so wrapped up in their right wing bubble they just dont wanna hear it #n they always assume i mustve not heard their talking points and its like look at where we fucking live #and look at the state of the world. NOBODY in any form of mainstream news shares my politics lmao #you think i havent heard every conceivable argument abt trans people??? also you think im dumb enough to form an opinion without looking at #the other side? yeah man i know about the three trans women who have ever won a sports competition ever. do you? #do you even know their fucking names or sports or trial outcomes. #GOD just fucking. pseudo intellectual facist horseshit like pragru and infowars masquerading as legítimate sources #are making so many dumbass illiterate (i truly don't think they have the reading comprehension to decifer a study or even long article) #guys think they're gods gift to politics bc they listened to someone else tell them what a source says through ten layers of propaganda #just. uh. everyone should die forever and also learn to read.

[daddy-ul]

I know I'm not posting much lately but I started a new job and--yeah

And it's not that I don't think abt Metallica, it's more like that my thoughts go like

"king nothing > memory. Which is not a unpopular opinion, per se, but like. Memory won the continuity live war till 2023. What a world we live in"

And

"WELCOME TO THIS LIFE

BORN INTO THE FIGHT

HERE TO CLAIM YOUR DREAM

Dreams..... No?

Dream SIGULAR. I forgot that it was singular, I sang it plural, here to claim your dreams. Usually in English don't you say "claim your dreamS"? Ohhhhhh, but it's singular bc for james it can't be anything else.

>>>>>'there was no plan b. Plan b, c, d was making plan a work'

This is autobiographical as UN1, which also starts with birth seen as something immediately difficult. But screaming Suicide is more Abt yourself -you, your voice- and something external giving you a hand; while UN1 is others, what others do to you-- till it transforms you"

#metallica #song related #screaming suicide #the unforgiven i #un1 #james hetfield #(d)jinn all'opera #my mind is a bit of a mess lately #i am currently teaching english to 3-5 yo and let me tell you-- it's wrecking my nerves snskskskssk #not the kids. it's not easy but they are full of love #no it's that i am not qualified to do it. i know jack shit abt pedagogy and ive never worked with kids of that age. and #it's a super posh kindergarden???? amd every week i have to do 3 different project that i came up with BY MYSELF????? #snksksks so yeah. i spend most of my energy burning anxiety and bicycling djdjdkjddj bc it's far away #i am a mess. i listen to tallica to decompress and my mind is dumb #and obsess over singular vs plural #like. i know there is nothing connecting un1 and ss together #ss is connected to cyanide. duh! and i'll get to that one day bc its BEAUTIFUL #but i am tired and idk what im saying anymore. is this a post? #so so messy #jinn out