#you just kind of sigh a little

[greyias]

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #do you ever see a man so pretty? #you just kind of sigh a little

[sciderman]

i opened tumblr during lunch and the first thing i saw was peter parker britney spears. two of my friends stared at my phone and audibly went “oh” thank you for the blessing

i've had so many people tell me "sci. the only thing i know about you is spider-man and britney spears". and i think that's all there is. you're welcome.

#sci speaks #sighs. i miss my old workplace. those guys were so fun. i miss playing britney in the office all day every day. #i was myself. so unapologetically. sighs. siiiighs. #this new job is killing me. i need to find a way to be more aggressively myself but i don't have the energy. #the job exhausts me so much. or maybe it's my biology that's doing it. #whatever it is something is fucking WRONG !! #i think working in a big company you kind of have to lose yourself a little. just because there are so many people. #like you don't know those people. you just don't know all those people. you could never hope to know all those people. #but in my old place i knew everyone and they knew ME! knew all my sexy nonsense. it felt like home. kick off my shoes. #sighs. what do you do sci. what do you do. #i don't think if i moved company it would help. it might get worse.

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.

[leatherbookmark]

our flag means death S2E3: the innkeeper

#our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #shrimp gifs #it was just a very pretty scene i think #i'm laughing because i played around with curves -- as you do -- but then i had to manually bring the brightness down and make everything #more blue again because it's just better that way lol #god i'm having... so many little marbles bouncing around my head like #this post is already tagged with all the spoiler tags i think i can talk in here #the way it started i had No Inkling At All that this would be this kind of setting. so i didn't pay attention to the surroundings or all th #stuff. hell i could barely hear what they're saying because all my fancy schmancy english skills fall apart in the face of your normal soun #mixing. I MISSED THAT IZ AND ED SAID “LOVE” LIKE HELLO #but. but anyway. but. but once it was revealed that This Is All In Ed's Head. that hornigold is ed and everything is ed. man. god. #it's cold and wet and dark (ed likes warmth). ed was washed up on the shore with his face full of sand but THEN he got rescued by someone #who he hated and associated with all the pain and violence AND who then force-fed him soup so he could get better. who had pretty pieces of #glass hanging from his tent (there's no sun but the decoration itself is a promise of a pretty sighs when the rays of the sun hit #just right--) AND you can't forget the sandals. and the play-acting and aoughhhh EEEDDDDDDDD god he's so good HE'S SO GOOD #i dont think i should touch the delightful revenge scenes because they're dark as fuck and idk if the files i have are hq enough #to survive the becurvening. BUT. ed my love!!! i hope this is not where your insanities end

[alsojnpie]

hey. um. i love him

#O_O i really love him #it's getting warmer every day and i can't draw him in a sweater for much longer #by the way. is this site going to. yknow. die #sigh........i kept telling myself I'd get better at it one day #kind of like the way i tell myself i can get together courage to speak up but i never do #using another website just sounds so depressing #im not good at social media. im tired of pretending like i can get good at it #but you can't even pretend like you can jump into a conversation if no one is having a conversation #i wanted to be part of a community here but i never could figure out what belonging looked like or how i could do it #and maybe it's my fundamental misunderstanding of that that prevents it but how can i understand it without experience #I'm so jealous of everyone who looks like they achieved what i couldn't even put my finger on. but since i didn't even understand it #i can't even be sure what exactly im jealous of #the other day i walked past a trio of friends and they had their arms around each other and were laughing as they walked #and i felt really strongly that even though I've always wanted a friend like that I'm actually fundamentally incompatible with that. #there's several reasons #but it made me feel really sad. but it made me feel a little better too. i guess it's really not my fault. maybe. i don't really know #in that moment it felt very much like something that was not my fault. and it was nice and sad at the same time #idk what's going to happen here. but one thing i know for sure is that i can have a happy tomorrow. no matter what #no matter what i have to give up on. i can find joy in other things. even in myself #and if there's one idea that he is about. it's that one

[nyxronomicon]

ugh please someone restrain me I'm thinking about yandere stepcest with Sunday...

#you can't tell me he wouldn't be into it sorry #read like half of a stepcest fic about someone i don't know and was mentally inserting him #cw stepcest #stepcest #Sunday hsr #ugh like. his social circle rarely extends beyond the family so it's kind of accidental #but like. he's having a hard time being normal about you. especially after you offer to help him with family affairs #he lets you help thinking he'll be able to keep contained but it just amplifies his desire AND he's getting a lot more alone time with you #you're totally unaware. letting him get away with his little yandere habits like not letting you leave his side or the mansion #you figure he's lonely bc his real sister is touring other planets. he's protective of you bc he can't be of her... #but his feelings for you run much deeper... into the dark and twisted parts of his heart that want to claim you. to own you. #for you to know nothing but his voice. his touch. #he'd love nothing more than to lock you away from the prying eyes of the people of penacony... #sigh I'm not ok...

[exchangersilverr]

Honestly I think what is more upsetting about these results is just how many people thought it was going to be more even than it was. I fell for it too! The sneak peek looked so close, the half time report even closer, but then...

...it kinda stings, y'know? It shouldn't have been like that. All the games I played, it felt even. I played just as much against Big Man, I thought. It definitely didn't feel like we were such a small cohort. It didn't feel like there were 55% Shiver. It felt genuinely equal and to find out it was nowhere near is soul-crushing.

#shut up e #splatoon #splatfest #dont get me wrong #i do love shiver #and i am holding onto hope that this will eventually even out #i think this splatfest theme itself was... not great #i am just debating at least taking a break for a while #glad i missed cryptids and icecream and zelda lol #but after spending all weekend playing even sacrificing sleep to play i guess im just a little heightened on emotions #it was a lot of fun though and i enjoyed playing! #i kind of wish i never saw the results and just enjoyed the game for what it is #funny squid game #y'know #...sigh #anyway sorry for the rant #hope youre all having a good day regardless of what team you chose

[bloobydabloob]

i understand.... i too feel like i am being held under a bunsen burner and bubbling over but all the evaporation makes is a weird green/orange liquid that turns into dirkjake... no blood no water just pure dirkjake fuel. it happens to the best of us. we are all in the bunsen burner together. its very hot and more than a little crowded but its nice. keep up the fantastic work thank you blooby

Yeah man, we’re in this together.

My very scientific diagrams of the process that happens every time DirkJake art is made anywhere. I’m sure some of you can relate

It might be nice… or maybe it is torture. I need them to leave me alone!

#Thanks brother. I will attempt to keep it up. #I wonder what it is that makes DirkJake plague the minds of fans in the way it does #you know what I mean. A lot of DirkJake guys are a little deranged #not in the bad way. Big fan of that #Well I know why the fans are deranged actually. Who am I kidding #It’s DirkJake. I guess what else would you expect #I said it before to a guy I was talking to on Reddit #but I really do not have any major feelings one way or another towards pretty much every other homestuck ship. #these two have kind of always followed me around in the back of my head though. #Even when I was not actually actively into homestuck I would still think of them. Special guys #They just happen to be particularly abusing my brain as of late. #Sigh. #Or I cant complain really. You’re right. It’s pretty nice #Glad you guys are here with me

[wifegideonnav]

tbh when mitski said “you’re my best friend/now i’ve no one to tell/how i lost my best friend”

#my freshman year of college my best friend and I were both a wreck #and on opposite sides of the country #during winter break I made the decision to share certain information with their parents bc I was actively concerned for their safety #they were deeply upset about me betraying their trust like that and asked for a break in our friendship #(a few months later (which happened to be early March 2020. lol) they did shrooms and realized they wanted to talk to me again lmao) #(so we talked and cried and now we’re still best friends almost 4 years later) #and my birthday is in january so it fell right in the middle of the period we weren’t talking #and my friends at school actually put together a really lovely party and it remains to this day the best bday party ive had #(most of my bdays have been sad and shitty lol) #but i just remember being drunk in my friends dorm room with my friends all around me #it was the end of the night people were just kinda chatting in little groups or whatever #and i was lying on my friends bed just miserable bc all I could think about was how my best friend was supposed to be there too #bc my parents were going to fly them out for the weekend as a present #and obviously that just got dropped #and id been talking to my friends about it kind of but all I wanted was my actual best friend #I left them a very embarrassing drunk voicemail that THANK GOD they deleted without listening to #but it’s just. the quiet agony of being angry and sad and hurt because your person doesn’t want to be ur person anymore #and still wanting to talk to them about it. still needing them to comfort you and give you their advice and insights #i don’t want to talk to anyone else about it. they’re not you. #sigh. anyway. ive actually lost several close friends for various reasons ranging from reasonable to bullshit #and it always blindsides me how much I want to talk to THEM about it #so thanks mitski for expressing that so artfully #op

[arotechno]

thinking about my last reblog as representation has been on my mind a lot lately. this is by no means a phenomenon unique to aros nor is it unique to the queer community at large but it's definitely an issue that we have to deal with a lot by virtue of not having a lot of representation to the contrary.

a lot of probably well-meaning writers/artists will "include" aromantic characters in their work, but it's often a side character in a large ensemble cast of different queer characters, and even if the character is referred to explicitly as aro in canon it often rings very hollow when they are an unimportant character or their aromanticism has absolutely no bearing on their existence whatsoever.

don't get me wrong: i am all for representing characters whose story is not ABOUT them being aromantic. i don't need nor particularly want every canon aro's story to be an aro story. but the truth is we don't have many aro stories at all. in fact, most of the time the only people willing to tell our stories is... us, and while i certainly have reservations about alloromantic people writing aro narratives without the proper research, it would be nice if more people cared about us enough to put us in their stories in anything more than an extremely trivial, tokenizing way.

i think a lot of it stems from people's extremely basic, trivial, and oftentimes patronizing view of aromanticism. so many people think they can just say "aros are valid!" or write a shipper-on-deck aro side character who loves their friends and they've, like, solved arophobia or something. most people don't want to listen to us or our stories and so they don't think there is anything deep or meaningful about aromanticism worth exploring. that's a separate rant for another time i think but the point is people will toss in a throwaway canon aro for representation brownie points and they think it makes them a hero. and unless they're written by an actual aromantic or someone who at least has done a LOT of research they tend to be pretty mediocre anyway.

this is probably a hot take but honestly if you made me choose between a tokenized side character confirmed as aro on-page/on-screen and an aro main character with a solid character arc that actually reflects what being aro is like but isn't ever called aromantic in the source material, i would choose the second. obviously in a perfect world we'd have it all. aromantics deserve stories written for and about us and our identities by creators who are unashamed and unafraid to use the word aromantic and represent us authentically. but if people think all it takes to do good representation is to use the word, well... the word isn't everything. aro representation is not an arcade token you can trade in for a prize.

#sorry this is kind of disjointed #but idk someone had to say it and i'm glad we're starting to talk about this! #aro rep is not some one size fits all thing you can squeeze into a meaningless side character... #...and then use to promote your work as having Aro Characters when it's like. straight up a romance novel and the mc has like an aro friend #i don't have a real life example of that one it just seems like it probably exists #i think perhaps koisenu futari made me greedy and you know what GOOD #i want good aro rep and i want it plastered across tv screens worldwide #i'm tired of begging and scraping what little i can off of accidental aro coding #sigh. anyway #aro #aromantic #aro representation #aro characters #long post #op

[wowitsverycool]

This whole king situation is like that one time I got a crush on gabriel ultrakill but so much worse

Also Nooooo, I can't make a self insert, it's been a running joke with me that all of my self insert oc's I make to ship with other characters never get with the person whom they desire because that person is too busy, I'd be ruining my streak

But if I were to make a regular oc, not a self insert one it still brings the question of why? The reason my first thoughts were siffrin and euphrasie is both have reason to hold personal grudges against him (siffrin more so than euphrasie maybe but hey we don't know what sort of rage hides behind that affable smile). But siffrin would never want to touch him like that and again I feel weird exposing euphrasie to him, she could handle him but I feel if it was her the situation would become about him very quickly and no! He needs to be diminished!

Like I need someone who hates him but also knows how deeply pathetic he is from personal experience so when they pull at his hair rolling their eyes calling him annoying it comes from somewhere deeply personal

uhhhhhhhhh panicked spongebob filing cabinet brain image. uh uh uhm OH OHO. well. you see. i have this headcanon .

#you see that last paragraph is sooooo loop coded and mentally i have been kind of flirting with the idea of their relationship with #sexuality shifting just as their relationship with gender has #and making a whole 'now that my body has changed so i could never do those things... now i want it?!?' and feeling disgusting and like #a liar and like they were just making up their experience before but then sif and mira tagteam comfort them #sif ​like 'no yeah i know for a fact that i don't want those things. definitely not faking. are you saying im faking loop?' #and before loop has the chance to get Smart with him mira's like 'loop.... i-i don't know where you're from but um... the change belief #actually addresses that feeling by saying that this this and that yada yada...' #ahhhh i'm getting off track but ANYWAY #that's just a little concept in my brain. it would probably not be very versatile or widely adopted.......... #so it would be weird to have a random fic where they just wail on the king. sigh. #but it would. i. i think it would be narratively significant. were someone to write about it. #in stars and time #isat spoilers #puhlease don't have this become a popular annoying headcanon that overshadows canon loop i would cry forever. it's just a silly little #concept in my brain. i don't want to erase anything.

[stonerzelda]

one thing I miss about school is staring wistfully out of windows. It does not hit the same in a basement apartment

#real talk i do kind of miss at least the IDEA of having somewhere to be qhen youre interested in the topic of the day lol #like i do miss my writing class. i miss history and art #i kinda wish i could go somewhere where its all like likeminded ppl and we get to just hang out and have fun like little kids fingerpaintin #OR SOMETHING!!! sigh. you get it

[laniidae-passerine]

see I am very disjointed from a lot of nine/ten fandom discourse because I genuinely believe that in a different world where space boy was not to be seen, had an older Rose gone to the hospital and bumped into a certain Doctor Jones by a vending machine or as she was taking Rose’s vitals, she would have instantly hit it off with Martha. and probably flirted with her a little on accident and then on purpose when Martha flirted back

#I can see Martha raising an eyebrow as she catches Rose (who definitely snuck out despite being on bedrest) by the vending machine #Rose probably snuck out of bed because the girl in the bed next to her was crying and she wanted to make her feel better #because she doesn’t really like hospitals either #and when she tells Martha this she’s surprised when the Doctor (who seems quite strong and a little serious) suddenly smiles #and shows her a trick to get extra sweets and chocolate out of the machine #and then tells her to hurry because the check-in sweep of Rose’s ward is about to begin #you just KNOW Rose would be Martha’s most combative patient but in all the best ways #always asking what that machine does. what that incomprehensible doctor scrawl means. if there’s something she can do to help other patients #and Martha loves it. loves how much Rose cares just like her. they gossip and they chat about their daily lives. they get closer #everytime Martha has to scold Rose for sneaking out of bed or doing something she shouldn’t #(even though she secretly adores it. she’s never really mad she just wants Rose to take care of herself as well as other people) #she sighs and says (in her most firm but still fond tone) ‘Miss Tyler-’ #only to be struck in the heart again with a cheeky grin and a ‘yes Doctor Jones?’ #and also Rose loves that Martha is a doctor. that Martha cares. that she works overtime. that almost all Martha’s patients love her #and the ones that don’t just aren’t kind people anyway. that Martha doesn’t condescend. that Martha cares and cares and cares #that Martha likes all the things about Rose that other people think make her difficult and trouble and too much #she likes the things that other people don’t like in Martha either. thinks she’s magic. #Rose Tyler is always going to love her Doctor. and Martha Jones will always love somebody who thinks everybody matters #I’m like. obsessed with them?? move OVER space boy (actually nine can get involved in this. lmao ten stay away) #they’d have been so cuteeeee #rtd failed to see the lesbionic possibility but I am no such coward. no fighting over boys here #martha jones #rose tyler #dw #doctor who

[valeffelees]

only bad thing about being in a fandom where one of the characters canonically has wings is the painful lack of classic wingfic. where is my everything's the same but people have bird wings watford au where one day baz notices simon hasn't been grooming his wings bc of an injury to his ribs so he sits on his bed and makes a whole fuss about how "i'm not doing this to be nice, snow, your wings are just a travesty to look at" and then proceeds to carefully and lovingly tidy his feathers in drawn out silence while they both pretend grooming someone else's wings isn't one of the most intimate things you can do for another person. will this heartbreak never end

#i have an old wingfic that never left the zero draft stage and it was suuuper fucking plotty #simon was still the chosen one in it but not in a weird sex magic kinda way like he was just home grown like that so no humdrum #so lucy is alive and he grew up with her and the mage (and they have a dog!) (simon named her ''little simon'' lmfao) #meanwhile baz isn't a vampire but natasha still died when he was five bc ok i don't know how to explain the lore behind this #bc it has to do with a skeevy blackmarket trade involving human wings like it was kinda dark ngl #but the long and short of it is that baz and tasha are kidnapped and tasha is killed keeping baz safe but baz's wings are damaged #pretty severely and so one of them never grows to full size and it leaves him flightless #n e way simon and baz don't get on bc the mage is still the mage and the old families are still the old families #but they are roommates as usual #and half-term their eighth year pitch manor is raided by blackmarket poachers and mordelia is kidnapped and the whole grimm family is #in shambles so baz goes right to simon about it and there's this reverse of the simon-showing-up-at-baz's-door scene #where baz shows up at simon's door a complete WRECK to ask for help getting his sister back #and simon is like. why are you asking ME for help? #and baz is like. bc you're the only one i know who can #and then they fucking steal one of the mage's cars and hit the road [so good right now by fall out boy starts playing] #and then it's just kind of a normal mission fic about them finding mordelia and saving her life and baz falls out a very high window #and simon catches him etc. #i love wingfics so much #sighs wistfully #i think i need to be alone w my gdocu for while #valen and the void

[oncillaphoenix]

it's kind of frustrating that essentially all the advice on tumblr for functioning when your brain's not working properly assumes By Default that your brain's not working properly because of depression.

like. don't get me wrong, i'm glad there's advice for people with depression. and i'm totally capable of going, yeah ok this post isn't meant for me, moving on. but...when you have to do that with every advice post, when everyone around you is promising that everyone will feel better if they can put in the effort to do these things you know will make you feel worse, you start to wonder where the heck the posts that are meant for you are.

#this post brought to you by me considering making a different vent post and stopping for fear that everyone will jump down my throat with #that same 'baby steps! self-care! if you're tired just do a little bit every day and you'll get better at it! take your life into your #own hands!' that everyone here always says. i can't kyle. i have post-exertional malaise #curseposting #salty jungle cat noises #i don't know. maybe i'd be less annoyed about this if i hadn't had to deal with a year and a half of everyone around me telling me to #Just Exercise More And You'll Feel Better when i KNEW that would make it worse. and that one awful speech therapist who was convinced that #just wasn't trying and if i tried harder i wouldn't have brain fog. (he didn't SAY that but he made it very clear anyway.) #and having to On Purpose ignore all the academic advice i was getting because it was actually making it harder for me to succeed in school. #what am i some kind of alien. am i so different to everyone else that all advice ever does more harm than good. what #this is why i have issues with trusting authority #vent #*sigh* man i wish my collection of disorders were less obscure

[dorkicon]

bitching abt my job again

tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia

#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind #for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at #and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years #only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down #despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down #so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen #and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it #and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first #--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane. #and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl #bc of course they dont give a shit about the library #they just care about how scary the queers are #and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town #and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time #(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the #--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right) #when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting #the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display #its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages #talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w #--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens #sourse: i was one of tgose #and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk #and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look #--elsewhere #bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater #--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education #i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too #but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in #--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on