#like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.

[craykaycee]

please please PLEASE tell me about your spiderverse dca self-insert au. i must know about the lil sidekick bots. they sound adorable

OKAYYYYY I'VE BEEN ENABLED LEMME TELL YOU ALL AB THEM!!! *takes out my notes, it's nine and a half pages long*

[[Disclaimer: Most the images are supposed to be side-by-side, but aren't doing that in browsers. I don't know why, I've been trying to fix it and couldn't. Apologies]]

All my notes refer to the main character (my self insert) by name, but I'll be referring to them as "MC" (main character) in this post. The drawings I have feature my sona as MC.

So!! We got the bois! THE BOISS! They're creations of MC, an engineer at FazEnt. They were made after MC got bitten by the spider, them needing assistance in tackling the disappearances of the pizzaplex. Important note: These bots came first. It's not until MC's spider alias (I'll say SpiderMC) became popular in the media that FazEnt tasked MC to make a character based off the popular sidekicks. In basic concept: MC is forced to plagiarize their own bots.

Then, the Fazbear Entertainment Daycare Attendant is created (I tend to refer to them as FazDCA for clarification in notes). With FazDCA being stuck in the plex, they aren't aware that they're plagiarized. MC grows a distaste towards FazDCA, but are aware it's not their fault, so the relationship between the two, creator and creation, has one-sided tension. SpiderMC's sidekicks, the minis, grow jealous of FazDCA upon discovery, thinking MC may prefer FazDCA over them, especially when MC works past their ill feelings and allows themself to grow a kind comradery with FazDCA.

There's a lot of little details I'd rather not go into in a single post, but my favorite thing I've found in my notes is MC having the same silly stupidity as og Spiderman (yanno like in Into the Spiderverse, Miles has that "Who's Miles? (NOT THAT DUMB)" moment?). Here's a fun one, considering the character I've drawn keeps their unique hair loose:

FazDCA: “Wow! Your hair looks familiar!” MC: Covering their head “A-Actually I’m bald” Moment of silence, FazDCA visibly processing Lil Moon is chuckling on MC’s shoulder MC: “I- I mean he’s bald-” flicks off Lil Moon’s hood Lil Moon: “HEY!”

Initial sketches and other doodles under the cut~

I actually initially brainstormed the rules of this universe w/ someone well-versed in Spiderman lore, so they helped me a LOT in figuring out the set up. Then, of course, bringing it up to my friends in this community sparked a WHOLE plot :D

omg I forgot I had notes ab the role of Glamrock Bonnie's AI.... wow :o

#DCA Spiderverse AU #SpiderCray #dca au #fnaf dca #dca fandom #I have yet to make a name other than a mix of ''spider'' and part of my alias ''cray'' xDD sooo that's what it is rn #I have. a whole plot. up to but not yet including the climax #it is. so dramatic guys-- tensions in both relationships and genuine danger are HIGH #heck it turns out I have a whole SCENE basically written for MC's reveal to the pizzaplex bots as SpiderMC #anyone is welcome to draw themself as MC here! I just had specific imagery while making this- so that's why MC is depicted as myself #I'LL STOP RAMBLING NOW- #cray kay art #cray kay sona

[ladystoneboobs]

no of fence to jon snow fans who for some reason care about his exact age, but these discussions just annoy me no end. not only bc there's no way any weirwood flashbacks bran has to rhaegar/lyanna will come with time/datestamps, but also bc there's always comments like this:

SEVERAL turns of the moon (ie, months)?! have these people never seen a human baby before or just have no concept of their ages? even if we take into account travel time from the toj to wf, meaning jon was not a newborn too fresh out the oven when catelyn and robb arrived, there's still a difference between a newborn and a 3mo and an even bigger difference between those infants and an older baby 5-7mo. there's very good reasons these lines were cut. whatever birthdates can be worked out internally for jon and robb from when they're first mentioned as 15 and 16 don't matter in the end, bc grrm doesn't care about a consistent timeline and the actual text of catelyn's pov and ned's convo with robert about cheating on her should outweigh any guesstimates about jon's official nameday wrt robb's. catelyn may not have cared for jon, but she would sure as hell have noticed his nameday if it came before robb's and made him ned's firstborn. if jon's birthday canonically came before robb's then either ned's cover story would not involve adultery (not impossible for him to sire a bastard before his wedding), or he'd just give jon a new nameday along with his new name to fit the adultery lie. it makes no sense for him to lie about one and not the other, undermining the big lie with a little public clue of his story not adding up. whatever else she was as a stepmother, cat wasn't stupid and a bastard who was actually the eldest son being raised alongside her trueborn heir could be an even bigger insult than whether he was born of adultery or not.

BUT, the unknowability of jon's true birthday is not the only reason this annoys me, it's bc this is all based on the assumption that jon must be older since rhaegar/lyanna ran off together before ned married cat, as if both boys must have been conceived asap as robb canonically was when his parents consummated their marriage. and that's not how human reproduction works! even if you don't understand how fast babies grow in the first year, you should know that people who get pregnant do so through ovulation cycles and a lucky sperm finding an egg and all that, not just immediately getting knocked up as soon as one has p-in-v sex for the first time. not unless you only know mean girls sex ed where if you have sex you will get pregnant and die. (even tho lyanna did die, there's plenty of canon examples where pregnancy did not lead straight to death. also examples of people who did not get pregnant right away and even some who are/were sexually active and childless without always having moon tea on hand.) we can't know how long lyanna was having sex before that sperm+egg match happened or even how long she was with rhaegar before losing her technical virginity. if they were married, doesn't it make sense to think they didn't consummate their relationship until the wedding night either? that's the only leverage there is to ensure a status as wife rather than just mistress.

and while i just said grrm doesn't care about exact timelines and a lot is still foggy surrounding the rebellion and esp rhaegar, there is one timemarker wrt robert's rebellion he voluntarily threw in, time and time again: that stannis was besieged at storm's end for almost a whole year. that siege, which mind you, did not match the duration of the entire war. it only started after robert won his battles at gulltown and summerhall, returned to storm's end, and then went out and lost the battle of ashford, leaving his homeland open to the reachermen. the same siege which only ended when ned made a detour there after the sack of king's landing, before going to the toj. even if lyanna may not have given birth that exact day ned found her, she could only be waiting in that bloody bed for weeks at the most, not months. so if rhaegar knocked her up the very same night he carried her off and jon was still a newborn when ned found her after the siege of storm's end had ended, wouldn't that mean lyanna was pregnant for well over a year? that's not how human pregnancy works either! so, maybe that's proof that jon and robb, whichever order they were actually born in, were actually very close in age as babies, much closer than if they were both conceived asap.

and really, jon's actual birthdate does not matter imho, when he was raised not just as the bastard to robb's trueborn heir, but with robb also known by catelyn and the world as ned's firstborn (which he was, in any case, as jon was ned's nephew by birth). what difference could a birthdate before robb's make (even were there some means of discovery) after ned, cat, and robb are all dead? if one is looking only at his birth parents then he's only a firstborn child on lyanna's side, but definitely a second son on rhaegar's side. maybe he was always meant to be a second son with a not much older half-brother! even if the aegon fka young griff is not in fact rhaegar's son, he'll still be known as aegon vi targaryen, meaning jon will never be known as any father's elder son. if i may reference mean girls again, it's not going to happen.

#valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #robb stark #jonathan snowflake starkgaryen #i want him to succeed me as king in the north #jon snow #ned stark #lyanna stark #like this isn't prompted by anyone except that reddit post and its comments this has just annoyed me for so long #that's why i made that show!robb/show!jon coming of age gifset years ago bc narratively jon is always a second son #bc robb did everything first as elder bro and the only milestones jon will hit first will be the those robb can't since he's dead for good #(obviously starting with jon being first male stark to be brought back from the dead) #not that everyone interested in this debate thinks this way but it just feels tied to the idea of jon being a trueborn heir #not only was he never a bastard he was an eldest boy! eldest surviving boy with those pesky half-dornish sibs gone! point missed. #sorry i just dont think grrm means for a targ restoration with king jon any more than fake eldest boy kendall roy could win his succession #(c)lsb #i had to look up all the quotes on the big storm's end siege bc it makes me feel like i'm taking crazy pills #thinking what abt stannis starving for a year while others are like we just can't know how long rr was. was it even 9mons? #like yeah lollys's pregnancy doesn't add up but bc grrm really slowed the tl down postacok prob w/o really thinking #thats diff from repeatedly saying something lasted almost a year when he didn't have to give such a timeframe!

[llamagoddessofficial]

I hope I'm not unwelcome here, I was wondering. How do you think the boys would react to a siren MC that was another variety of deep sea siren~? I've been writing a fic with the reader as a deep sea eel siren and it's on my mind since I adore your siren au thoughts!

Ohoooooo

I fuckin love the concept of a gorgeous, dangerous eel Mc. Sleek and dark and powerful. I feel like a deep sea Mc would be bigger than her pelagic counterpart... much closer to the skeletons in size. Not to mention, she’d have some other unique traits, like heightened senses and bioluminescence. 

Sans: She is, for once, something he isn’t used to seeing on his usual menu. Orca are surface dwellers. She’s a curiosity; he adores curiosities. Especially pretty ones. He’s cautious, because she’s clearly a predator, he works slowly... stalking her from a distance, then approaching fast and ducking away at the last second, baiting her into lashing out so he can see how her attacks work. It doesn’t take him long to figure out what her deal is. He’s enamoured with this beautiful, fierce novelty from the deep.

Sans frightens her. He didn’t, at first; he looked like a puny version of the much bigger, much toothier whales who occasionally make the long journey to her depths. But then he started moving- and she realised his danger wasn’t his body, it was his adaptability. He could kill her if he wanted to.

And yet... there’s something about his intelligence. Something about his powerful form as he swims. Something about his unreadable calm, soft smile around her, razor sharp eyelights taking in every detail... she can’t help it, she’s drawn to him. 

Red: ... C’mon. We know this dance by now. She’s big, she’s beautiful, she’s strong- not only that, but she’s mysterious and elegant, a dangerous predator from the depths all decorated in glittering lights. It’s like he’s at a cocktail party and a 6ft buff woman just walked in, wearing a black velvet dress and diamonds- he’s shootin his shot, and nothing will stop him. He likes his ladies capable of killing him. He makes a couple stupid eel-related pickup lines (“girl, are you a coral-dwelling eel? cus you’re my a-moray.” “I’m a conger, not a m- wait,”) and her baffled flustered reactions just cement his growing interest.

Red is... a lot. Not necessarily in a bad way. He keeps shocking her by making her laugh (“gulper? jeez, i hardly know her.”) and she likes the company and conversation. Deep sea sirens don’t tend to do the whole ‘group’ thing, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get lonely, down there in the endless night. 

She also likes the patterns on his body- you don’t see many pretty markings when you live in near pitch-black. He likes when she can’t help but touch them.

Skull: Finally. Finally. Another creature from the deep, another siren like him, who understands his mannerisms and his way of life. A siren who’ll see him as kin, who won’t view him as some kind of strange, unknowable alien. Being around her makes him soft and giddy, he lights up his bioluminescence any chance he gets, he enjoys having that point of bonding with her (he’s smug the others don’t understand their secret language of lights). He gets the overwhelming sensation they were meant to be together... the abyss is so huge, so endless, and yet somehow they found one another? It can’t be chance. The stars aligned. He knows her smell now- he’ll follow her wherever she goes.

A deep sea Mc would definitely feel more comfortable around Skull than she does around the other two sirens. They’re so similar, and she’s much more used to monsters like him; big, dark, strong, slow. She’s still careful around him considering he’s the more frightening apex predator where they’re from- being familiar with something doesn’t make it any less dangerous. But when his tentacles flash and she flashes back, it feels like stumbling across someone who speaks your mother tongue in a land full of strangers.

#llamagines #siren sanses au #siren mc au #headcanon that her teeth look like moray eel teeth #cool and sharp and like glass #mc: Red... are you sure you want to date me...? I've got broken glass for teeth and I'm venomous #red: why would you ask if i'm sure i wanna date you. then list more reasons for me to want to date you

[tangledinink]

Ok ok hear me out cause I'm not expecting this to be canon but wanted to send this anyway for funsies!

So every time the Swanatello turtles fight someone (Which isn't as frequent anymore? Cause they're doing research all the time now?) the villains ask "where's the purple one?" And they just have to respond "he's busy" right?

What if after this goes on for so long (how long has it been?), with Donnie ALWAYS being "busy" the bad guys start to think that he's actually either

A. Missing/Kidnapped (technically not wrong)

B. They had a HUGE fight and he abandoned them

C. He's SUPER injured

Or D. He's literally dead and the kids just won't admit it to them

So with all of these options being very not great :/ some of the bad guys start to sympathize with the bros.

Maybe they're like "Dang these kids are having a really rough time, I won't hit em as hard" or "They seem really sad today, I guess I'll let them win this one" Or would some of them even start helping them a bit? Idk I just love hearing about the villains

And does not having Donnie there effect their fighting? Maybe they mess up a lot more since they're so used to him being there?

Also what's Hueso up to? Is he worried about them?

Sorry for the super long ask I'm just absolutely obsessed with Swanatello right now <3

Hehe, I love this concept. I think all the villains definitely have quiet conspiracy theories in their heads as to why they've been seeing those turtles so much less-- and haven't seen hide nor hair of the purple one for months. I think Hypno and Warren are most likely to end up sympathizing with them based on the conclusions they've come to themselves lowkey...

They're still capable of fighting without Donnie, though it's certainly more of a challenge, but nowadays they typically leave a majority of crime fighting up to Casey and Casey Jr. while they focus on Donnie.

Hueso definitely ends up worried at some point. He's not necessarily unused to the Purple One going MIA for periods of time, given his tendency to go through periods of anti-socialness while obsessing over projects, but when he realizes he's seeing the others a lot less, too, and it's been a while, he starts to get suspicious. These stupid boys have already given him a heart attack once when they all nearly killed themselves with that whole alien thing, and so he's quick to grow nervous over their wellbeing, not that he'll ever admit to it.

When Leo shows up with a broken wrist, however, he'd definitely demand some answers. Leo's not really in any kind of condition to put up much of a fight and would tearfully recount the whole story to Hueso after minimal prodding.

And Hueso feels awful, but there's not much he can offer but some awkward, gentle encouragement, a listening ear, and free food. He doesn't know anything about lake magick or curses any of that other stuff, but he quietly digs through any resources he and Piel can scrounge up in his free time, hoping that he can find something, anything useful that he can offer the family.

He always asks how Donnie is doing any time any of them come in, and has on multiple occasions sent food with one of the brothers to deliver to him.

#swanatello asks #asks #anon #memory loss

[2stepadmiral]

“Kriffing Fey’lya,”

An explosion twenty meters ahead marks where the AT-ST fire was slightly off, but it still sprays Rex with dirt. He grits his teeth as he tries again to push the chunk of a blasted wall off his chest, but it’s still no good. The permacrete is too heavy for him to budge, at least from this angle.

It was a rookie mistake on his part, getting too close to the wall when the enemy had artillery deployed. Rex must’ve been getting old. That was the only possible explanation for him making such a stupid mistake, the kind of idiotic move that he had dressed down countless shinies for during the Clone Wars. He had gotten too close, and a stray shot from the walker had brought a huge chunk of wall right down on top of him. It wasn’t big enough to crush him, or even seriously injure him, but it was certainly large enough to pin him down under the rubble.

He gritted his teeth once again as he remembered the two fellow Rebels who had noticed him trapped, and tried to help, completely disregarding his orders to abandon him. Didn’t seem to be much good and being a commander if your subordinates ignore orders like that. Rex idly wondered if any of the boys back during the days of the 501st would’ve followed that order, or would’ve been so loyal to their commander, that they stuck around in a vain effort to help and got mowed down, moments later, by a stormtrooper pressing the advance. He truthfully could not remember. 

He could hear the trooper’s footsteps growing closer now. The son of a hut who had shot the two men was slowly making his way over, inspecting his kill and making sure that the job was done. From where he lay, Rex was concealed from the troopers view, but if you got to close, he would be completely exposed. He tighten the grip on the DC 17 clutched in his free hand. If the trooper got too close, Rex would have a mere heartbeat to respond before the trooper filled him with blaster bolts. Even now, at his age, such a response was trivial for Rex. The question was not whether or not, he could beat the trooper to the draw, but whether or not the blue blaster fire would attract the attention of the ATST. If it did, Rex would be out of options. His A280 rifle had an explosive launcher attachment, and with precise aim, he might be able to get a thermal detonator through the viewport, but with one arm pinned, his aim was hardly at peak proficiency. And since the rifle had fallen some two meters away, the whole concept was rather academic.

The footsteps stopped, and Rex could hear the plates pressing together as the trooper tensed. At least it wasn’t a clanker that got me, Rex thought. An Imperial walker wasn’t much better, but the difference was important to him. He closed his eyes for a moment as he braced himself. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better, General. I’m sorry I couldn’t finish this fight for you, and for Commander Tano.

Rex’s eyes fly open as he hears the distinctive snap-hiss. The trooped yells and opens fire. He goes silent as a whoosh fills the air. Rex sees a shadow pass over him and hears a thud as the trooper collides against the building behind him. Rex strains to see over the debris. He barely makes out a green glow against the smog before the entire area is illuminated by a bright flash.

The walker steps close, the ground shaking slightly beneath its footsteps. It’s floodlight makes Rex wince for a moment before it points down at something in the middle of the street. Rex sees the cannon flash, hears the explosive impact, and hears the hum of a lightsaber in motion. A dark cloaked figure leaps forth, green blade flashing, and the walker stumbles a moment before tumbling to the ground, its leg severed. The figure holds up the saber defensively as he scans the area for further threats, lowering and closing down the blade as he decides that all is well. He turns a hand toward Rex, and the rubble begins to shift.

Rex gasps with a sensation that has little to do with the relief of this pressure. He thought he recognized the figure when he saw him leap through the air, severing the walker leg with a form that he knew all too well. Until he saw the man lift his burden with the Force, he didn’t dare to hope. Now, he couldn’t stop himself.

“General?” He calls out desperately. “General Skywalker, is that you?” It’s impossible. He knows General Skywalker was killed at the end of the Clone Wars, but somehow, he knows. He knows that Skywalker has returned. Impossible things have happened before, he knows. Commander Tano survived, and apparently, General Kenobi had actually survived, and been hiding for decades before briefly, returning to die on the death star, So why not Skywalker?

The figure steps forward, reaching up to lower his hood. Rex gasps at the young, scarred face looking back at him. This is not Anakin Skywalker, no, this man is far too young. But his features are decidedly similar. Similar enough to be a relative. A son.

“My name is Commander Luke Skywalker,” he says, extending a hand. “I’m here to help you.”

He had heard the name before, everyone in the alliance had, but he hadn’t made the connection. There were plenty of people named Skywalker in the galaxy, after all.

Rex took the hand at once. Something in him said to trust this man. Perhaps it was the distinct features of general Anakin Skywalker, that were just visible, or perhaps it was the innate kindness and compassion that seemed somehow vaguely familiar as well. Perhaps the boy’s mother? Yes, that was it. His mother. Senator Amidala. There was no one else that really could be, not after all those holo calls the general used to steal away any chance he got.

“I’ll take the help,” Rex said as he rose to his feet. “We were able to insert the Bothans, and our retreat should have covered for their entrance. Unfortunately, we took a lot of Flack on the way out.” Rex lowered his gaze. “Lost some good people, I’m afraid. Hopefully, this will all be worth it.”

“You’ve done a great job, Commander,” Luke said, his tone so very reminiscent of Anakin’s when he had praised Rex for a job well done, but it was also gentler, a bit kinder, as though he could see and feel the emotions that Rex was experiencing. Somehow, the impression reminded him of General Kenobi. “Now, we need to get you and your people out. I’m here for your extraction.”

“Surprised that Fey’lya bothered with an extraction plan.” Rex commented.

“Actually, he didn’t,” Luke grimaced as he spoke. “I came here on my own.”

Rex scowled. “Kriffing Fey’lya,” he growled. Then he froze. “Oh, sorry, sir.”

Luke smiled. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Commander. I understand your frustration. The plan was rather ruthless in regards to your team, but that’s why I am here. Just a slight change in the plan, one that Fey’lya won’t really be able to protest.”

“Leave no man behind, eh, sir?.” Rex smiled. “You sound a lot like another Jedi named Skywalker I once knew.”

Luke’s eyes widened. “You knew Anakin Skywalker?”

The sound of footsteps on the permacrete cut off Rex’s reply. There were several footsteps approaching, and by the sound of the clinking armor plates, it sounded like a full squad of storm troopers, at least. Rex drew his second DC 17, not bothering to reach for his discarded A280.  fighting alongside another Skywalker? No, he wouldn’t need a rifle. He wanted to fight like he had in the old days, like an ARC trooper. Like he always had alongside Anakin.

“We’ll talk when we get out of this,” Rex said.

Luke nodded. He drew out his lightsaber, igniting the green blade. “I’ll draw their fire.”

“After you, sir.”

Luke smiled. “You don’t need to call me sir, commander. I don’t outrank you.”

“Force of habit, Commander,” Rex replied, his grin widening. Then, on an impulse he couldn’t quite help, he added, “Besides, in my book, experience outranks everything.”



#star wars #luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #clone wars #captain rex #rex and cody #rex and anakin #commander rex #grand army of the republic #rebel alliance #alliance to restore the republic #new jedi order #new republic #master skywalker #master luke #r2d2 #r2d2 and c3po #star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #the clones #the clone army #galactic civil war

[honeybeebytheseaa]

All my Camilo head canons in one post because I can’t keep track of them

• He is gay! At one point he questioned being bi but the older he got it became clear he was just into boys.

•His family has described him to have ‘cat-like’ tendencies such as sleeping on high places and being very reactive to being sprayed with water

•Loves very spicy foods. Isabela attempted to prank him by putting an extremely hot sauce in his dinner, but it backfired and he ate the whole thing. Ended up wanting more and was confused when the ‘kick’ was gone.

•Has zero game. Like none. Cannot get a date someone has to want to date him first.

•Although he lives up to his title as jerk cousin he is surprisingly sensitive and has good emotional intelligence. He knows when and when not to mess with someone based on their mood and this is likely due to spending time with his mother.

•Him and Mirabel fight a lot but have a close relationship, even if it dwindled pre-movie.

•If this were to take place in a modern AU the family would absolutely have him shift into a younger kid for discounts at restaurants. He gets extremely pissed and therefore doesn’t like eating out unless it’s his birthday and it’s guaranteed they won’t make him shift.

•Claustrophobic as all hell

•Specifically hates cruises in terms of vacations. Doesn’t like knowing he cannot leave the ship makes him feel trapped.

•At one point Antonio out grows him and he actually looks close to blowing up a building

•Does theater (obviously) and has scored a good part in nearly every show he has done he is an extremely talented actor and singer

•Is good with the arts in general. Great at writing, visual arts, dancing etc

•Not so great with school. Struggles to understand concepts.

•Thinks he is incredibly stupid and def suffers from imposter syndrome. He is naive sometimes, not clueless.

•if he ever begins crying in public he will randomly stand in a corner pretending he is admiring the paint on the wall

•ALWAYS warm. He loves winter months because he isn’t dying from the heat. During sleepovers with the grandkids he often gets shoved into the middle because dude is just radiating heat

•Tolerant to gore and horror but draws the line at extreme body horror

•Does not have a good reaction time he will always be the last to turn his head

•The towns number one baby sitter. He is very good with kids and a lot of the town kids adore him.

•Messes with Félix a lot but if anything goes wrong in his life ever he runs to him like a scared wet cat.

•Has Julieta’s HEART. He plays coy around her to get free food. However he does really love his aunt a lot and enjoys her company and loves helping her in the kitchen.

#camilo madrigal #encanto #isabela madrigal #mirabel madrigal #pepa madrigal #julieta madrigal #félix madrigal

[c0rvidbones]

hello I love your art a whole lot!! tell me more about Wit (he's hot and evil and I require more juicy details) and Ruby (his design goes so hard) please?

oh my god hi i did not expect to come back to 20 notifs. (/pos) youve given me a much needed ego boost tonight thank you. is it bad i cant remember having ever posted ruby art?? ive only ever gotten One comm of him which is a crime, my violent martyr son should rly get more love than i give him 😔 but thank you for asking! buckle up this is gonna be a long fuckin post ♡ everything under the cut including relevant character art

WIT

behold, all art of wit i have including one i havent posted here bc i never actually finished it and the wip of him being a silly giggly boy. pls know i came up with him like MAYBE a month ago. two, tops.

SO wit is actually a what-if au of another oc of mine, his name is doodle. doodle (seen below) is a very robin-hood-esque oc, honorable thief and kindhearted, swashbuckler rogue that dual wields rapiers bc hes insane. but hes insane in like a normal way. he was a horrible child but he did grow out of it and its rare to see him w his hair down so pardon me making him look absurdly pretty in that one.

as you can see there are some (but not MANY) differences between the two. kid wit does have the starry hands/peets im just forgetful dont @ me about it djdjdj

ANYWAYS so the what-if of the au that wit is, essentially, little singular things didn't happen to people in that au world. it goes like so;

wit: never met his childhood best friend when he was a freshly injured orphan. was alone from the (elf) ages of 0-16. ended up studying magic (illusion wizard) since he didn't have someone to lean on for that sort of thing.

laika (wit's mom): never truly broke out of an archfey's madness curse. stuck with a very twisted version of the spell Tasha's Hideous Laughter burned into her mind. everything is funny and if it's scary? even funnier. she died briefly. shes back now, but still madnessed.

perseverance (wit's dad): never saved his mother from a death blow in the be-all end-all fight to save his home. was held back by someone who he thought was a friend, killed that person and then ultimately spiralled so hard that he became a lich. may or may not have accidentally killed laika.

something something one decision can change your whole life, me and my friend loved playing with that concept.

okay now that you know a lil lore/history i can dive into what wit is like.

as a kid (drawn with the short megafloofy hair) he's very mischievous and bastardly, almost always smiling or grinning but it's more to lean into the uncanny valley effect his eyes cause than out of any actual joy or anything. he doesn't Blink and he knows it unnerves people because he also has a freakishly high insight (i think its like a +9 or smth??? at level 9??). he loves to come up with fucked up spells, like. for example i saw a silly post on here the other day that was very jokingly having a wizard cast a spell of "10000 bricks until you die" but then i was immediately aware wit would (1) come up with that spell, make it functional, and have it unfortunately obliterate everyone that gets hit with it, and (2) he would call it Wit's Bricks which i think is fuckin funny. he would also come up with spells of like. cause heatstroke. boil all fluid in your body. FREEZE all fluid in your body. he's a little freak with extremely low empathy for those he isn't connected to with blood ties. that said, he's kind to his family (albeit very blunt and will call them out if theyre being stupid) and inquisitive. he DID look his dad in the eye when he met him for the first time and went "are you dead?" which. again, hilarious, but BRUTALLY blunt. he then called his dad cool because yes his dad is now a lich and therefore undead. he's a little freak but he's still a kid and that is ultimately his saving grace, what small child isn't a little freak.

as an adult (long ponytail) i get a feel of him being aro and using romance as a way to manipulate people. he's definitely still not a good person and far more stoic than he was as a child. also he most definitely maintains a constant illusion to make it seem like his eyes are always closed, which lends an air of mystery to the strange elf that seems to always be standing right behind every throne in every kingdom of faerun. i say this because i like to think he would become what's called a King's Wit, which is like a combo of royal advisor, court mage, and "guy the regent has insult other nobility since insults are beneath the reigning royal". he uses all of that to his advantage, gaining the ear and trust of every single person of noble blood that is part of any royal or ruling court, and he will bend and twist their choices so subtly that they won't realise he led them to ruin until it's already too late. which is his ultimate plan. he's STILL somewhat a robin hood style of character, but he takes it a bit further and with far less kindness to the nobility. he guts their coffers completely and every hoarded coin down to the last copper inevitably will land its way conveniently into the lap of the common folk. he does take a healthy chunk for himself - did you know being a wizard was EXPENSIVE in dnd btw? i didnt until i made wit - but most of it is for the local citizens. he does this everywhere he goes if he sees that it needs to happen. fucker topples kingdoms For Fun, because he never gets caught or credited with the ruin he leaves behind himself. he's awful. he probably still comes up with fucked up spells and he manipulates his way into wherever he wants to be. i love him.

---

RUBY

behold! @polterpumpkin drew my (not very) little guy for me! this is part of a greater set but this is the fully coloured one and arguably my fave bc it captures the absolute batshit energy ruby brings to the table.

ruby is a tiefling that was born in a lab. voluntarily, his parents participated in a sort of study that wanted to eval why it is tieflings could be born to non-tiefling parents. (both his parents are half-orcs, interestingly!) he participated in it up to a certain point, before he got sick of being poked and prodded and Watched. that's when he demanded to be released and, when he wasn't, both his parents helped him escape, unfortunately leaving his other two tiefling-born siblings behind in the process. both parents Died helping him escape, and he was embittered as is by the whole study bs, and then to have his parents die Saving him? it left him with this sort of hole he didn't know how to feel.

so he fills that hole with every vice he finds agreeable. he drinks, he fights, and he drinks again. he's a drunken monk, and one full of unbridled rage and a death wish. he isn't my happiest oc but he isn't my worst off (that would be talisman bloodhunter). he's constantly seeking a grand and worthy cause to die for, literally. he's a wannabe martyr, because he doesn't think he has anything to live for. no lovers, no friends, no allies, MAYBE a coworker or two on the occasion he's needed (he is so not needed most of the time, because it isn't often any job needs an angry monk tief to glare around the place). he has just those two sides to himself - party animal and underground drunk brawler - because he doesn't want to think about the pain underneath them both. he's tragic in a very human way, hilariously enough, but he's not a bad person. even if he's being dragged by the tail to do a job, he's ultimately going to be helpful and he ALWAYS keeps his team alive. he'll grumble about it but he'll do it, and if you thank him he brushes it off, muttering something or other about how it's just his job, don't Thank him for that. i think having a friend would Fix him but fuck if i know what would get past his thick skin 😔

i dont get to play or write ruby really, not for any specific reason other than the dnd games im in have been going for So long, and that i havent really been super inspired to write him. but i love him! literally my car is named after him! i have so many feelings for him and i hope one day i get to play/write him so he can be more fleshed out.

#c0rvidspeaks #ask me about my ocs #and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree #ruby #wit dalca #oc #i was almost done w this like an hour ago but the fucking APP CRASHED and ate my whole reply #also the tags is where i realise i never gave ruby a last name oh noo

[asleepinawell]

my background story for my himbo lizard boy wol has always been fairly vague and mostly along the lines of: he grew up in thavnair, his family were fishers who made him learn to fish even though he preferred fighting things, he attempted to fish by just jumping in the water and wrestling fish, and then a giant fish kicked his ass so hard he left home on a journey to grow into a better fighter so he could come back and get revenge (he never did. he got thancred to beat up the fish for him and now it lives in an aquarium in his house)

but I was thinking of elpis and the wol being told to relate the whole story from the beginning to the elpis squad and like...this boy cannot stay focused on a long story like that, he doesn't have a single braincell, if you tell him to relate the story from the beginning he's gonna go way too far back and spend half an hour complaining about the fish that beat him up back home

and there's hythlodaeus in the corner quietly making notes about this fascinating fish. notes he will find in his pocket after he returns home and turn into a concept leading to the creation of the fish ancestor of the wol's nemesis. the circle of stupidity is complete

other things that probably happened in elpis:

1) the wol almost definitely made some vague comment to hermes that hermes then recalled later as he looked down at meteion and inspired his decision to destroy the world. the comment would have been something you'd expect to find on one of those awful motivational posters that has some trite phrase over a stock photo of the ocean

2) the wol asked venat "have you ever wondered what the ancients really are?" (he probably read a conspiracy theory on tumblr) but he had a brain slip (without the brain part) and said "have you ever sundered what the ancients really are?" and venat was like hmmm while taking notes

3) wol told emet he looked "out of shape" and "not at 110%" in the future and offered to teach him his exercise routine. this would have happened in the middle of him relating how emet was going to have everyone he knew die and then murder millions of people. hyth prevented another murder from taking place but also took notes on the exercise routine and later built a home gym based on them. azem used it regularly. emet threatened to divorce both of them. soon after, emet unmade azem's favorite barbell in a fit of pettiness leading to them squabbling, a fight which started out serious and then drifted into more mundane topics like should we summon zodiark. azem took his gym and left

4) grani bit the wol. this didn't have any far-reaching consequences but it made him sad and he wants you to know

the legend himself:

#ffxivmp #mp #himbo lizard boy tag #he is...the most stupidest boy in the world...dos equis #big of heart and dumb of ass #he was just trying to help #if the wol had stayed in the ancient world hyth would have hired him immediately #and with their powers combined they would have caused the fall of society before meteion had a chance #ffxiv #just occurred to me that the wol complaining about the fish is like emet ranting about venat in ultima thule #the poor kid is really emet's spiritual successor in that specific way #'i was personally victimized by a fish/venat'

[bluelockednyx]

Hey!! I loved your Rinsagi metas and posts. FINALLY someone in the fandom who doesn't infantilize Isagi and sees canon him. Yes Isagi is nice but not like.. nanase level friendly and nice. He's polite but a lil withdrawn and appreciates people's talents but absolutely will not let anyone walk over him. Also,exactly what u said, sadist Dom. Yes please.

And Rin, so many people reduce him to this one-dimensional character who's issues people treat like a joke. When that's not the case? Bachira at least knows his prblms, Rin has no idea at all. Like how horrible does your repression and mental state have to be that the guy that is literally suicidal tells you that you're in a worse place than him. Rin gives off high key depressed vibes.

It's a lot like Post WC kunigami which draws...interesting parallels esp when you look at pre WC kunigami and at how Rin seems a lot happier before the fight. I saw someone make that comparison.

What do you think? How do you think Rin would've been like if Sae had actually bothered explaining instead of what we got?

Also, any opinions on the Itoshi parents? We've only seen half their faces and nothing from them abt their kids's relationship. I mean, it kinda bothers me how we've seen the views of Isagi, Bachira, Chigiri, even Hiori's parents when he's not a main character, Yet we got no input from the Itoshis. Do they just not notice? Are they a bit neglectful esp since they let a 13 yr old Sae go to another country alone? Do they let their kids do whatever they want including fighting for a year? Who knows? I'll love to know your thoughts tho.

Again, thank you for the lovely metas which made me feel a little less alone in the fandom. Have a great day :)

Isagi stans, please rise up and help characterise him properly lmao

Stupid long response under the cut, as always.

Rant about my issues with the general fandom characterisation about Isagi. Sorry anon if this isn't what you wanted, I have a lot of Thoughts and Salt where Isagi is concerned, and I am Fandom Old who is growing incredibly sad with how divisive current fandom is over a whole host of things. Skip to Itoshi if you don't wanna read about Isagi + fandom musings. Skip to parents if you wanna read about my thoughts on the family dynamics.

Isagi is, for better or worse, the stock shonen MC. He's enough of a regular guy for the target readers, which are teenage boys, to identify with. As he's the MC, the story overall serves to validate and support him, so long as he fits the themes the author is working on, which for Blue Lock, is the concept of being the best at what you're doing, while also bringing out the best in others, and then working together successfully to achieve goals (i.e. the World Cup).

But, Kaneshiro-sensei's also a strategic writer. Isagi, because he's such a bland self-insert for the most part, combined with how he has a very weird form of Power of Heart, has wound up being an especially attractive character for those who like harem, or reverse-harem series. Which then, for better or worse, brings all the fujoshi fangirls around (the curse of so many attractive characters). But most especially the fujoshi fangirls who are a fan of all x MC ships. I am emphasizing all x MC here, because east Asian/gen Asian fandom, have grown incredibly restrictive and rigid about top x bottom dynamics, which is a whole host of other things and issues to talk about.

Look up any popular shonen jump title, you'll find that these shippers generally have the same tastes, and move around the same fandom circles. You'll usually find them shipping all x MC ships, from Izuku to Tanjirou to Yuuji to Naruto etc. Overall, how they characterise them never deviates all that much. It's the nice, 'innocent', naive, guy who is a bit of a pushover, and who has all the other hot characters wanting to get in their pants. That's where Isagi falls into as well, for these shippers. The more thorny and less 'nice guy' parts of his characterisation gets sanded down, though YMMV whether this is a skill issue by fandom or simply a cultural readership interpretation difference altogether.

On the Itoshi bros:

Yep, Rin has a lot of repression issues. I wouldn't go so far as to say that Rin has no idea at all about his issues (how else would he pick out Bachira's loneliness so quickly lol, also there's some hints from official guidebook), but he definitely lacks self-awareness. I also agree that he and Nagi seem to be on different areas at the spectrum of depression (Nagi being apathetic, Rin being hostile).

If there's anything to parallel Rin and Kunigami, I'd say that it's the 'loss of a dream' and 'loss of companions'. In the manga proper, Rin does seem happier before the fight with Sae, like how Kunigami looked happier pre-WC. However, the light novel shows that Rin was already repressing both himself and his style of football to imitate Sae long before then due to external pressures by his teammates and coach, and even more severely than Isagi, who also didn't have much of a relationship with his own teammates from Ichinan.

If Sae had tried to explain more than that one line about 'the world being vast', they wouldn't have such a strained relationship right now, honestly. While I don't think that Rin would have fully understood what Sae was trying to say because he lacked the experience and perspective, I do think he would have been more supportive, which would have been better overall, for the both of them. They were both idiots that night, lmao, though I do view Sae as having been punished by the narrative when he pushed his dream onto Rin.

About the Itoshi parents:

We know that Rin and Sae presumably used to share a room and a double bed as kids (albeit a fairly spacious one, from the looks of it), which makes me think that they're more likely to be middle class than upper class. Young Rin also accompanied Sae to his soccer practice games, rather than going off for other classes like say, art, which implies that his parents might not have been able to afford it. Sae also walked home with Rin, which further implies that they're parents are busy, though its more of a norm in JP. Possibly a double income household, to fund Sae, and later, Rin's coaching fees and time with the youth football squad. Also a household that seems to have no qualms about Sae, and later, Rin's rudeness and hostility, although they may tone it down around their parents. Sae must have picked his attitude up from somewhere.

I'm reluctant to call the Itoshi parents sending Sae to Madrid at 13 as intentionally neglectful, because there are cultural nuances there. I think the best parallel I can draw is parents from less-developed nations sending their children overseas from an early age to secure eventual permanent residency and establish a life in a more developed nation. Sometimes, home just isn’t good enough. And this is one of Blue Lock’s main story themes: that Japan’s football, as it is, isn’t good enough. They have neither the organizational structure, infrastructure, nor support to get the World Cup that Sae, Anri and possibly Ego, covets.

Sae's dream, and talent, is in football. He's been scouted by perhaps the most successful team in the Blue Lock world, with a world-class program for youths, and has been given the best chance possible, for any kid in his shoes, to fulfill his dream to be the best striker in the world. He's being sponsored, and he also left with a manager who would presumably, help take care of him whilst he was there. Sae isn't going there like say, Ashito from Aoi Ashi, who needed to go through a trial to even be considered for acceptance into the youth squad. He's going there as the equivalent of a golden scholarship student scouted for a potential future work placement, with the likely backing of the JFA.

What alternatives could his parents offer him if he stayed in Japan? His own speech to Sendou pre-blue lock vs U20 match encapsulates what could have been for him (Sendou is very much a foil to Sae, especially now that we know they're both redheads lmao). Being the best in Japan, a middle-of-the-road striker in the world, retiring with an average, albeit decent life. Sae's too egoistic, too talented, too greedy to be content with a life like that. I wouldn't be surprised if Sae had also begged his parents hard to let him go, since it's pretty much all he wanted as a kid.

That's without even taking into account the other problems his parents would face if they immigrated with Sae. How to take care of Rin and his education there, for starters. Rent and housing, finding jobs in Madrid where they likely can't speak the language, and face discrimination.

I think we don't get their parents faces because Rin and Sae's story, and their relationship with their parents, are simply emotionally distant. I don't think they have much parental control over Rin or Sae either.  Sae's been more or less looking after himself/being taken care of by Real Madrid + his manager in Spain since 13, and Rin has been strongly implied to be in much the same shoes since Sae left, to a lesser extent. I doubt they know the more minute details about Rin and Sae’s school life and team experience, both within and out of Japan. I even doubt that they know that Rin and Sae had a fight, honestly, though I can also see them being the kind of parents who will let their kids sort things out between themselves.

Overall: Itoshi parents takes care of them physically (buys them material things, makes sure they have a home to stay in, have a physical caretaker in their place), but emotionally? Rin and Sae seem to be pretty much left on their own. No wonder their relationship with each other broke down, and what little relationships they have with others seem like such a convoluted mess.

Thanks for sending the ask! I love hearing from people what they think about the latest chapters, characters, relationships etc. I hope you have a great day too!

#niki answers asks #this got very long

[sugutoad]

Matchup Trade for @averagetoyakinnie !

# s.black

ஓ๑ I was extremely tempted to pick anyone but Sirius because I have done only one other matchup of Harry Potter and I had chose him too but this man was literally so perfect for you. I’m not necessarily good at convincing others on why I chose a certain person for them but I do hope the following makes more sense to you and possibly even convince you:

ஓ๑ Sirius seems to cross almost all your checkboxes concerning your ideal type. He is absolutely a snarky individual who often goes far and beyond to tease his partner but he does have a sense of awareness of when to stop. Canonically book wise, Sirius is said to be extremely tall — which most of the fandom unfortunately ignores because they focus on the height of his actor. This isn’t really a popular headcanon but I stand on my life that Sirius has soft and chubby hands. Imagine looking at his sharp jaw, only for him to have the babiest soft cheeks. He absolutely loathes them tho. Always being there for you? Check that box for sure! Sirius supports you through thick and thin no matter what! And do not fret the slightest, dear. He visits all your sports events and absolutely spoils you with ice cream if you win or even lose. After a lost game if you are frustrated, he will take you home and sit with you to watch some of your shows. The whole concept of television doesn’t really come to him too well but he loves it. Normally I don’t look much or focus on ideal types, but when I chose him and then saw that you had included an idea type, I was even more excited to do this matchup!

ஓ๑ I understand that your mbti (ENTP) and Siruis’s mbti ( ESTP) don’t exactly go hand in hand with one another because of how similar they are but I think that is the perfect thing. You have a similar way of thinking and that allows you to know how the other person is. And arguments do happen but nothing big. It mostly consists of you scolding him for doing something stupid or bickering like an old married couple about small things (like if pineapple belongs on pizza.). But the both of you are so charming and chaotic with one another that is actually scary to Mcgonagall. Besides the similarities between your mbtis, the N and S helps you to differentiate ideas when presented information. That way, almost no information is not being used as you both have different ways to get certain information. 

ஓ๑ When he first met you on the train to Hogwarts, you looked so cute to him. Awkwardly fumbling your fingers and a distant yet shy demeanour is what had charmed in the first place but was he in for a journey as he began to know more of you. This duo is a chaotic rule breaker type. But at least you try to keep him out of detention so you have your limits to ruler breaking at times. But when you have an interest, he will keep his big mouth shut for hours as you ramble on and on (he will certainly try to get himself into your interest so you both can discuss it. As much as he loves listening to you, he loves talking too.) Someone should have taken a picture of this man's face when his innocent idiot said something sexual :) For visuals, his mouth was slightly open but in a smirk and his eyes were wide opened (don’t forget the single raised eyebrow)

ஓ๑ Though it’s normally you giving him advice and comforting him, especially after a bad day with his family, sometimes it’s switched. He knows how energetic you are but he understands more of you. So when you run off your social battery, he holds you quietly, occasionally saying a joke to lift up your mood or just some sweet words. 

ஓ๑ He is a growing boy, ok? He needs food. Lots of food. So you can imagine his delightment every time you bake or cook him something. 

ஓ๑ Similar to you, one of his major love language is physical touch. This probably originated from the lack of affection he received as a child so now he is pretty much a clingy teddy bear! At first you thought it was cute but sometimes it is overwhelming. You would be trying to study or practise for a quidditch match, he will almost never let go. But no matter how many times he touches you, when he walks past you and your fingers brush against yours, it still makes your stomach flip with butterflies.

ஓ๑ He is actually in love with you. Like seriously (see what I did there?) The way you are a bubbly shine of light that blinded him with your upbeat smile and the beautiful way that you love almost everything, seeing the beauty in everything surrounding you. Even during Azkaban, his only possession was a small photo of you. And when he saw you again, he held you for almost eternity but for him it still wasn’t long enough. Nothing could ever make up for the 12 years he spent without you. 

ஓ๑ Also what do you mean he is dead? (Delusional) Last time I checked, the both of you are married after he escaped from Azkaban and have a son named James Black. 

ஓ๑ Hopefully I convinced you? This is a pairing that most people wouldn’t have seen coming so it is certainly harder to explain my reasoning behind it but I think that is what makes it so perfect. 

Other Potential Matchups: Literally none because my head couldn’t think of anyone but Sirius for you. 

#sazh matchups #harry potter matchups #Harry potter #matchups

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

rambling about blindrry since we got so much of Eddie last concept day? 🤲🏼

YES YES YESSSSS!!! I LUV RAMBLING ON ABOUT MY TROPESSSS

Okay so he’s such a mushy lover ☹️

And like he used to be such an asshole but got so so mushy once he met y/n so now he’s just a big teddy bear :((

Pulling out ALLL the pet names he can just because he loves having someone to call them

“I missed you puppy”

“Come cuddle me, baby”

“Please hand me the remote, I’ll die if I hear Mickey Mouse one more time, darling”

“Love you, sweetheart”

“Why don’t you join me in the shower, angel?”

“Morning, sunshine. Breakfast is ready, baby, c’mon.”

And he’s so the type to just make a “cute” little pet name out of anything

“Let’s go lay down, squish, I’m tired.”

“Could you pass me Storms stuffie, angel face?”

“Missed being in your arms, snuggle bear”

Like it’s so gross and sappy sometimes but y/n has to get over it because he’s just happy to have her and can’t help but gush over her with the gross pet names

And he definitely does it for the boys too

And he definitely calls her the weirdest pet names trying to be flirty and stupid

“Mornin’ angel tits”

“Come help me, sexy mama” and y/n can never contain her laughter when he does stuff like that bc it’s just so ridiculous that someone’s she can’t believe its coming out of her husbands mouth but 99.9% of the time he he a stupid goofy smirk on his face

And I know he LOVESSSS getting into her phone just to do stupid shit like change his contact name from “H💘🥰” to “hubby 🍆💦😺🍑👅”

And he’s so cuddly 😢

Pushing her onto any plushy surface he can get to just to wrap his arms around her, rest his body as close to hers as he can get, and shove his face in her neck or on his chest

And any time he can she has to be holding him, his cheek smushed onto her shoulder with his arms around her anywhere they can get while she rubs his back and plays with his hair, his shoulders sagging and his legs barley holding him up

And he’s def cold 24/7

So he’s always trying to push his hands up y/n’s shirts so he can steal some of her warmth, and when he’s home he’s always in pajama pants or sweatpants, a sweatshirt covering his upper body, thick socks, and if he’s really cold he’ll wrap up with a blanket

And in the winter he’s always complaining, his nose pink 24/7 from how cold he is, and he’s always laying on heating pads and getting heated blankets so he can stay warm during the colder months

And I can see him getting so anxious every time he gets a hair cut, because for years and years now he’s been keeping it long and trying to keep it around shoulder length but then gets too busy to cut it so it always grows longer so he get used to the longer hair

So when he gets it cut just brushing his shoulders he has a mini freak out and he’s like “what if it looks so ugly and it’s terrible and you hate it?”

And y/n is of course like “you’re dramatic, babe. You get it cut this length every time. Maybe get it an inch shorter this time since your hair grows so fast.”

“You’re the one who has to look at me?! Is that even going to look good?”

“It’s going to look just fine. Your hair length doesn’t matter.”

And he swears he hates the feeling after a hair cut since he’s not used to it but y/n catches him playing with it all day long and as soon as she laughs or he feels her staring he shoves his hand back down

And I feel like hes SOOO funny 😢

Like when him and y/n are down in the kitchen for some midnight snacks once the babies are in deep sleep y/n is literally just crying laughing the whole time and trying not to wake the babies up with her laugh

He can make anything out of a joke

And he’s so dramatic and any noise she makes that is above the volume that they instantly tune into once the kids are asleep he is silently yelling and acting so dramatic- which only makes her laugh harder

And when he’s sleep deprived he gets almsot sleep drunk so he’s doing the weirdest shit and fake fighting the air in the kitchen and crying laughing after, holding onto the oven bar, trying not to be loud with a cookie half chewed in his mouth

He just acts so stupid, how could you not laugh?

And he is so dirty 😢 but also loves some harmless dirty jokes

Like anytime they are alone he’s grabbing at her chest

And if he has something like a doctors appointment or anything like for a simple cold or even a check up and she asked “how did your appointment go, babe” because maybe she couldn’t go for some odd reason

He’s like “oh, they told me if you rubbed your boobs in my face I’d be cured”

And he’s always trying to pull her into his showers

Because he likes cuddling with her under the warm water because then he won’t be cold but he also gets to feel his wife wrap her arms around him and cuddle into him without any barriers stopping him from her skin touching his

He’s definitely a skin on skin man

Like he needs it to have a good cuddle session or to calm down, anything like that

He’s such a big baby :((( I love it

He needs a bit of skin to skin every now and then during a before-sleep-cuddle-session

Just because he loves her touch so much and hates to have anything stopping him from fully indulging in the feeling of her touch

And he needs all clothes to be off during sex- that’s why quickies aren’t usually his style, he’s rather wait for the perfect time than fit a moment in where he isn’t left fully satisfied with touch

He needs to feel their thighs sticking together and the touch of a sweaty hand, their chests pressed together, any body part that would happen to graze him he needs to feel it unfiltered instead of through a shirt, same goes with him touching her, he needs to feel the soft skin of her arms, her nipples brushing against him, her sweaty and sticky thigh peeling from his, her hand grasping his shoulder, her teeth biting at him

And I’ve been thinking about this recently

But I lowkey feel like blind Harry would be into a little piss play 👁👁

Like I feel like he definitely loves to piss inside of y/n when he feels needy

But I’ve also been thinking about him not being so subby

Like I think it’s a 60/40 things

60 percent of the time he’s subby and wants to be taken care of and be babied by his wife like he deserves

But the other 40 he wants to pin his wife to the mattress and fuck her until she can’t form a sentence

Mainly when he’s stressed though

Which is probably a lot because he does run his own business

Okay

Okay

I’ll shut up

I can’t think of anything else but this is probably a lot

Send in more!! I’ve still got to reply to a lot of you, ily 😢😢

#harry styles #blind harry #blind!harry #blind!harry concept #harry styles x reader

[markantonys]

crossroads of twilight chapter 15-end

elenia and mellar have so many rude and infuriating and incorrect and evil thoughts about elayne and i cannot wait for her to kick their asses into next tuesday

in mellar’s pov we hear a whole lot of instances of him killing women, because of course Killing A Woman is the sign of true evil and our heroes are good because they only kill men and spare women even when it is a COLASSALLY STUPID MOVE BECAUSE THE WOMAN IN QUESTION IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL AGAIN IF LEFT ALIVE. anyway.

i forgot to say this in past books but i go crazy over the fact that at this stage in the series, egwene has a horse named daishar and rand one named tai’daishar. they are foils!!!!!! (egwene and rand, not the horses. tai’daishar and jeade’en are the Horse Foils of the series, and i miss jeade’en immensely. fuck tai’daishar, all my homies hate tai’daishar. no i’m sure he’s a good boy, it’s just that i'm devastated about what he symbolizes about rand’s character arc.)

egwene has reached tar valon! after leaving for that destination 4 books ago! she thinks about how the white tower is Home. girl you were in the tower for a grand total of, what, 3 months? lmao

egwene is thinking about how she has only bad options in front of her (there’s no way to take back the tower without people dying) and has to pick the one that’s least wrong. the parallels with rand!!! they are foils!!!!

“how long ago had it been that she reached tar valon by that same route [a ship]? almost beyond memory, it seemed. an age gone. it had been another woman who came ashore and was met by the mistress of novices.” “egwene compared the farms they passed to those in the two rivers. perhaps the realization that the two rivers was no longer home made her study them. acknowledging the truth could never be a betrayal, yet she needed to remember the two rivers. you could forget who you were if you forgot where you came from, and sometimes the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field seemed a stranger to her.” 😭😭😭 KIDS GROW THE FUCK UP SO FAST THESE DAYS 😭😭

egwene going “of course i’m willing to negotiate with elaida! my terms are her complete and total surrender 😤” an icon and a legend, i love her

“leane paid minute attention to her clothes since joining the green ajah.” 🙄 not sure which is more annoying, the fact that Being Hot has become leane’s entire personality (she really was the blueprint for min huh?) or the fact that Being Hot is the entire green ajah’s entire personality. the concept of switching ajahs would be so interesting to explore if leane had had ANY motivation for it besides “i want to be green so i can fuck” lmao

from the next chapter: “[leane’s report was] written on thin sheets of paper in a flowing elegant hand. egwene could not see exactly why, but you could never doubt that anything leane wrote had been written by a woman.” passages that make you shout WHAT out loud jkfjgh even leane’s handwriting is Hot, i guess!

a couple of aes sedai have managed to make ter’angreal. dammit, that’s elayne’s thing! i know The Point is that knowledge is being rediscovered and channelers are growing more powerful again, but every time i see someone who can do elayne’s special talent, someone who’s even stronger in the power than nynaeve etc, i sulk. they are my special once-in-an-Age girls, thank you very much!

egwene’s learned how to make cuendillar! did moghedien teach her or did she figure it out on her own? i don’t remember it being mentioned before, and i feel like it should’ve been. why didn’t we see egwene making this discovery? all the interesting things are happening offscreen between books in this portion of the series. we’ve barely seen egwene in the past few books, but of her little screentime, i could’ve used less Sitting In Tents Worrying About Things and more Making Groundbreaking Magical Discoveries.

update: egwene did discover it by herself! moghedien “pointed the way” but didn’t actually know how to make cuendillar

“‘aes sedai should not be making things for...sale.’ salita invested that word with all the scorn of a woman who accepted the income from her estate in tear without ever thinking how it had been come by.” JSKDJFG egwene went for the THROAT the innkeeper’s daughter from emond’s field IS still in there

“she did not even know where in the world gawyn was, or what to do if she learned. he had his duty to andor, and she hers to the tower. and the one way to bridge that chasm, bonding him, might lead to his death. better to let him go, forget him entirely. as easy as forgetting her own name.” STARCROSSED................. (and once again, egwene-rand parallels! thinking their love interest is Better Off Without Them)

i HAVE been wondering, if egwene bonds gawyn (which she knows she will due to prophetic dream and i know she will due to spoilers, but i repeat that i know nothing else about gawyn’s future besides this bare fact and the bare fact of his ultimate fate, but no clue how either thing happens or anything else he might get up to, so if you spoil me on even the most minor thing about him you’ll be my enemy for life. he’s probably my least-spoiled major character and i want to preserve that!) anyway if egwene bonds gawyn, what will elayne do? who will be her first prince of the sword? poor birgitte’s frothing at the mouth for gawyn to come home and take all those responsibilities off her plate. hey you know who would be a GREAT first prince of the sword? MAT!! altho maybe it has to be a member of the queen’s family. oh, so elayne can just marry mat and then he’s an official member of house trakand, boom, all problems solved for everybody!

aha, following up from our discussion the other week, egwene confirms that “swearing on the oath rod shortens our lives by half at least”

egwene: no one wants to die before they must rand: [looks at the camera like he’s on the office]

there are rumors circulating among egwene’s aes sedai that there are aes sedai under rand’s control. “no one had mentioned Compulsion aloud that egwene knew of, but they had to be thinking it.” “‘i don’t want to think about using the fact that rand may have Compelled sisters. i don’t want to think about the possibility that he could have.’ neither about the possibility that he knew such a repulsive weave, or that he could lay that weave on anyone. she knew it - another little gift from moghedien - and very much wished she could forget how to make it.” damn lots to unpack here! 1) egwene knows compulsion!!! um!!!!!! Yet Another thing i wish we’d seen her learn onscreen (but as always, disclaimer that maybe we did and i just forgot). i wonder if she’ll end up using it after all someday, it’s too tantalizing to slip in that she knows it only for nothing to ever come of it. 2) once again, lack of communication is hindering everybody and making the series twice as long as it needs to be. 3) ever since loc i’ve been foreseeing rand vs. egwene conflict about rand making aes sedai swear fealty to him, and we’re fiiiiinally starting to see it brewing. 4) egwene hates the thought of rand using compulsion and doesn’t want to entertain it, but she can’t help a seed of doubt. it hurts how far apart these two have grown from each other! while i found their relationship in the show un-compelling at the time (going in knowing nothing about anything, i clocked right away that they weren’t endgame so it just felt like the show was wasting my time trying to get me invested in a bland childhood romance) i’m retroactively glad that it was made so much more serious and more loving than it was in the books, bc that’ll make them growing apart later hit even harder than it does in the books (where it’s already hitting me pretty hard!) i was listening to the soundtrack while working the other day and the track that plays when they’re holding hands in shadar logoth made me choke up, that moment specifically is one i’m eagerly looking forward to revisiting after having finished the books. on first watch i was kinda like whatever at that scene but having the context of the books and thinking about how young and innocent they are in that moment and how hard their journeys will be and how far apart they’ll grow, i just know i’m gonna Weep.

siuan straight up thinks cadsuane is a darkfriend LMAO i wish! that would’ve been such a good twist

“eventually they would have to deal with him, somehow. she had grown up with rand, yet she could not allow that to influence her. he was the dragon reborn now, the hope of the world and at the same time maybe the single greatest threat the world faced. maybe? the seanchan could not do as much damage as the dragon reborn. and she was going to use the possibility that he had Compelled sisters. the amyrlin seat really was a different woman from that innkeeper’s daughter.” IT HURTS YOUR HONOR!!! and yet AGAIN rand-egwene parallels, rand being disgusted with himself for using people and thinking that his old self is a stranger to him now are things we’ve seen countless times. people who hate egwene because she clashes with rand are fools and hypocrites who are missing the obvious foiling going on between them. of course they clash! that’s the whole point! that’s what it’s all About! they are foils!

egwene & co all think the forsaken have a huge weapon that destroyed shadar logoth and caused the massive channeling output. rand, please just tell people what you’re doing dear god you’re causing so much unnecessary mass panic! on the other hand, this fear is the impetus for the aes sedai to decide to make an agreement with the asha’man, which to me seems like good progress in theory but on the other hand we know taim and many asha’man are darkfriends, so it may turn out badly. still, aes sedai and asha’man working together is something we do need! in theory!

this also proves the point that so much unnecessary and OOC lack of communication happens solely for plot convenience. like if rand and nynaeve had told elayne and avi what their plan was, as it would be in character for at LEAST nynaeve to do if not also rand (sure he’s trying to protect them, but if he can tell min his plans and BRING HER ALONG ON THEM it makes no sense that he wouldn’t also tell elayne and avi), then they would’ve passed it on to egwene by now and she would know the forsaken don’t have some weapon, so she would’ve been able to placate the aes sedai and no proposal to ally with the asha’man would’ve been made. but since this proposal is likely necessary for future plot, rj had to come up with a motivation of some absurd Forsaken Mass Weapon fear that isn’t even REMOTELY true.

“[too many other places in tel’aran’rhiod] turned out to have eavesdroppers. or bone-deep sadness. she hated seeing what had become of the two rivers since she left.” 💔💔 it’s lame that perrin is the only one who went back to emond’s field bc i feel like he’s the one of the 5 i’d be least emotional about doing so lmao if egwene, rand, nynaeve, or mat went back i’d lose it (tho mat mostly just in the context of show mat with his sisters, book mat i don’t think i’d be too emotional about it)

egwene and avi meet up in tel’aran’rhiod!! oh i’m so happy to see them interact again!! avi comes dressed in fancy wetlander silks (but still with rand’s bracelet) and is then embarrassed and changes them to wise one’s clothes. i can only assume this is because in her heart of hearts she wants to be elayne’s sugar baby.

apparently pregnancy makes elayne unable to use the dream ter’angreal to go to tel’aran’rhiod. rj is making up weird and random pregnancy + channeling rules left right and center. i bet there will end up being some plot point where elayne has a problem that could’ve been solved if she’d been able to talk to somebody in tel’aran’rhiod, hence this pregnancy channeling rule.

“suddenly, [aviendha] grinned. her emerald eyes seemed almost to shine. ‘[elayne] has a wonderful temper sometimes. she threw the ring down and jumped up and down on it.’” fond wife!

“oddly, aviendha took it in stride that elayne was with child, though egwene was convinced the woman loved rand too.” poor egwene, clueless about the avirandlayne throuple. also, i swear on my life egwene was also completely clueless about avi/rand being into each other back when they were all together in tsr-loc?? since when is she aware there’s feelings there?

“egwene would not have thought it of elayne, though! and rand!” why don’t you just fuck gawyn and maybe you’ll calm down

“no one had actually said he was the father, and she could hardly ask something like that” i feel like you could ask that of your very best friend, egwene. i feel like that would be an ok thing to ask. if my BFF gets mysteriously knocked up you bet your ass the first thing out of my mouth is gonna be “who did you fuck??” on a serious note, more fractures in the gang, if elayne apparently isn’t even trusting egwene with the knowledge that they’re rand’s babies :(

fuck i am SO mad nynaeve got separated from elayne before finding out she was Pregnant Out Of Wedlock jkfjgh seeing nynaeve react to that would’ve been SO FUNNY (tho also infuriating, i’m sure - egwene’s judginess here is bad enough! but at least she concedes “the rest of the world was not the same as the two rivers. light, she had come far enough to know that much. she did not have to like it, but she had to live with it.”)

speaking of nynaeve, does she not come to TAR anymore? do the 3 of them not still have standing meetings? because since min is incapable of telling rand about the babies, surely elayne could tell nynaeve in TAR to tell him! Inexplicable Lack Of Communication For Plot Reasons strikes again. or more accurately, for Character Arc Reasons since knowing that he’s gonna be a dad and having that hope for the future and motivation to live past tarmon gai’don would interfere with rand’s downward spiral arc

ah, avi does confirm that they’ve heard from neither nynaeve nor rand. maybe nynaeve is avoiding TAR bc she doesn’t want them to find out about the top secret saidin cleansing mission. which, again, it makes no sense she wouldn’t have told them about. egwene i can see, since she’s so firmly entrenched with the aes sedai as an institution and nynaeve and rand want to go rogue on this mission, but why not have told elayne and avi? god knows elayne is keeping plenty of secrets from the tower already, she would’ve been down to handle 1 more.

upon hearing about the proposed agreement between aes sedai and asha’man, avi’s clothes change into a cadin’sor but “incongruously, the ivory bracley still hung from her wrist although maidens of the spear did not wear jewelry.” no matter how she’s seeing herself, whether as maiden or wise one or wetlander sugar baby, her love for rand is constant ❤️❤️😭😭

“aviendha was in training to be a wise one, and garments or no, she was being a wise one...part of egwene wanted to smile. her friend was changing from the often hotheaded maiden of the spear she had first come to know. another part of her remembered that the wise ones did not always have the same goals as aes sedai...it made her sad that she must think of aviendha as a wise one instead of just a friend.” fractures in the gaaaaang 😭😭😭 also, i feel like a lot of avi’s character development is locked offscreen bc we get so little of her pov. we’ve heard that she’s resumed her training but have seen nothing of it. i want more avi pov!

“if aviendha did not mention it, then the matter was something she and elayne wanted to handle themselves. surely she would have said something if it was anything egwene should know about. or would she? sighing, egwene set her cup on the table...and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. suspicion truly was part of her bones now. and she was unlikely to survive long without it.” EGWENE-RAND PARALLELS and elayne too, we’ve seen this a ton with her since arriving in caemlyn

“‘tell elayne to take care of herself. you take care of her. and her babes.’ ‘i will,’ aviendha said, now in the blue silk.” avi’s clothes changing as she’s mentally returning to her role as elayne’s wife and sugar baby

“‘but you must take care of yourself. i think you use yourself too hard.’...[egwene] was not using herself too hard. only as hard as she needed to.” egwene-rand parallels again! and avi caring for egwene ❤️ if only rand and mat and perrin could still talk to each other and look after each other the way the girls do. i have been saying this in literally every single recap post for the past like 4 books but i never stop being upset about it every time i see the girls staying friends and maintaining their support network and the boys being cut off from every loved one except their one (1) designated girlfriend! rand even has 3 girlfriends but only gets to interact with 1!

there is literally no reason (besides Plot-Mandated Lack Of Communication) why elayne couldn’t have made dream rings for everybody and handed them out! she’s seen mat and rand since learning how to make them and could’ve made them some, and perrin can get to TAR on his own (tho he doesn’t know what it is yet). i want everybody to have dream ring friendship bracelets dammit!

egwene Prophecy Dreams of mat bowling (because bowling exists in randland, nice!) but the pins turn into dead men, and an illuminator is somehow involved. some kind of battle-y thing mat will be involved in that will result in a lot of deaths, i imagine.

another Prophecy Dream of egwene herself being saved by a seanchan woman. i predict this must be either tuon or egeanin since we don’t know any other major seanchan women yet (but of course rj is a huge fan of introducing additional characters at the eleventh hour lmao)

also Prophecy Dream of seanchan attacking the white tower. oh man, they’re gonna get that far inland? no! get outta this continent! the seanchan prove that tweet that was like a single texan is a great addition to any story (egeanin) but more than one is bad news (the rest of the seanchan)

i was convinced mesaana was theodrin but now i think she’s tarna. but whoever she’s revealed to be in the end, there’s a good chance my reaction will be “i don’t even know who that is” because there are 98034985 random aes sedai side characters i can’t keep track of (i had no clue who tarna was until she referenced her trip to salidar, which jogged my memory that she was the representative from elaida whom elayne and nynaeve saw way back when)

dramatically vague discussion between pevara and tarna about a note from toveine gazal that “changes the whole world” but it means nothing to me because i don’t even know who toveine gazal is. edit: a chapter or two later she shows up with logain and jogs my memory that she’s the aes sedai he bonded. she was literally in the prologue of this very book and i already forgot jkfjgh

this is the problem at this stage of the series. too many side characters! too! many! there are like 7 major plotlines going on, and each one has a big cast of side characters who eat up screentime by having their personalities and quibbles with each other gone into in detail (the AMOUNT of TIMES i’ve heard about all the quibbles among egwene’s aes sedai and rand’s aes sedai and nobles and perrin’s camp and the white tower contingent. at least mat’s crew is relatively small and easy to keep track of.) they eat up screetime and yet are completely unmemorable and i can’t keep track of any of them, so it’s just a huge waste of time.

cadsuane pov: “verin knew more about that sort of relations with men than she did - she had never believed in indulging with her own warders, as some greens did, and other men had always been out of the question” verin knows more about. about. oh my god does verin fuck????????? i-

“cadsuane did not think the other sister knew min was bonded to the al’thor boy. she herself only knew because the girl had let too much slip in a careless moment.” MIN STOP BLURTING OUT SENSITIVE INFORMATION CHALLENGE! GOD! and let’s not forget that it would be elayne who would get in by far the most trouble for this since she’s the one who did the weave, so min’s put ELAYNE’S ass on the coals here. next thing you know she’s gonna be telling cadsuane that elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies! goddamn!! early series perrin has definitely passed the “blurting out secret shit all over the place” torch.

cadsuane pov is good because every time she interjects “phaw!” into her narration i lose my shit

but i’m still struggling to see why she needs to exist. she has contributed nothing to the story so far.

we’re introduced to the aes sedai elza (or maybe reintroduced for all i know) who’s extremely loyal to rand. but a chapter later we get her pov and find out she’s a darkfriend. RJ STOP REVEALING DARKFRIENDS 2 FUCKING SECONDS AFTER THEY’RE INTRODUCED CHALLENGE i want to scream!!!!! there is no mystery! no traitor twists! instead i am forced to sit here watching characters be unknowingly surrounded by darkfriends for multiple books (egwene and halima (well forsaken but w/e), elayne and mellar, rand and taim, even elaida and alviarin not that i care about elaida, but it’s the principle of it) which is probably supposed to feel suspenseful but is just frustrating. like, the reveal of natael’s and keille’s true identites at the end of tsr was so surprising and satisfying, more of that, please!

“what was [rand] to do about [min]? about elayne and aviendha?” “was it too late to keep min safe, to keep elayne and aviendha safe?” we are two goddamn paragraphs into rand’s pov and already getting “min!!!! and elayneaviendha blob” i am so fucking sick of this i hate it here!!!

“all he had of them at the moment was a general sense of direction and the knowledge that they were alive. min’s body was pressed tight against his side, though, and the bond made her as vibrant inside his head as she was in the flesh.” I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!! genuinely i think that rand/min makes me angrier than almost anything else in the entire series, aside from the nosedive that is mat’s character development (more on that later). i would rather read an entire book from perrin’s pov than one chapter of rand/min. okay no i take that back. but it’s a near thing.

“without warning, min punched him in the ribs hard enough to make him grunt. ‘you’re getting melancholy, sheepherder.’” because as we all know, the best thing to do if your partner is depressed is to punch them. “[the wound] was not the same side that min had fisted - she was always gentle with that, if not always with the rest of him” i feel like your girlfriend should be gentle with ALL of you, rand. i feel like that would be a good thing for her to do.

“‘you have to do something,’ min muttered, folding her arms beneath her breasts. ‘logain’s aura still speaks of glory, stronger than ever. maybe he still thinks he’s the real dragon reborn. and there’s something...dark...in the images i saw around lord davram. if he turns against you, or dies...’” whoever pointed out that min’s viewings accomplish nothing but making rand’s paranoia worse (butterflydm i believe?), you are SO right. min has no clue what her viewings of logain or bashere ACTUALLY mean, she’s just speculating that they’re bad news for rand, which could be completely off base for all she knows (especially the logain one - maybe he’s gonna get glory by HELPING rand at the last battle, ever think of that?). thankfully, right now rand doesn’t seem pressed about it and just says he has to do what he can, not worry about what he can’t. but i can’t imagine it helps him to have a cassandra stuck to his side foretelling unavoidable doom and gloom 24/7 especially when half the time she’s just making up her own interpretations and misleading rand to believe she knows them for facts!

side note: if anything happens to bashere i’ll kill everyone in randland and then myself!!!!

“the woman carried more knives tucked about her than thom merrilin had. or mat. colors whirled in his head, almost resolving into...what? a man on a wagon seat?” 1) min carries more knives than thom and mat and yet has never ONCE done anything useful with them that i can recall. all she does is flourish them to look hot or stab them into the wall to look threatening (threatening to rand more often than to anyone else). 2) even RAND notes the similarities between min and mat, dammit! mat is the superior mischievous knife-wielding brunette non-channeler love interest for rand! 3) the colors and the seeing what the other person is doing goes both ways! cauthor crumbs! i will note that rand did not have a single thought about perrin in this entire book (all 1 chapter of his pov). just saying.

we see rand seize saidin for the first time since it was cleansed. i feel like this should’ve been a bigger deal. first of all, going into the series i thought the taint on saidin was gonna be a bigger problem than it ended up being, and second of all, i was picturing a really emotional moment of rand feeling clean saidin for the first time, but that just didn’t happen. granted, he still has his other weird saidin sickness going on (triggered by that guy in shadar logoth whose identity i am 99.9999% sure of but hasn’t officially been confirmed to me yet) which kinda cancels out the lack of the taint, but still! in the early books he struggled so much with the taint, it would’ve been satisfying to see him actually........be happy that it’s gone now.

loial is here! and says “you don’t know how good it is to hear you calling [rand] sheepherder, min” which i suppose is a part of the whole “min helps rand remember who he used to be” thing which is absolute baloney because min doesn’t KNOW who he used to be. she met the sheepherder ONCE. where is mat when you need him?? (off in ebou dar having pottery thrown at him by his future wife, that’s where.)

“aviendha assumed that he would marry her, and elayne and min as well, in the aiel fashion. elayne appeared to think so too, strange as that seemed. he thought she did. what did min think? she had never said.” min thinks that she wants you all to herself but doesn’t want to look bad by saying so, that’s what. also, not all relationships have to end in marriage! same thought earlier when egwene was all huffy about rand and elayne loving each other and having babies together while Not Being Married, Oh The Horrors! this attitude is just so obviously a product of the author’s own culture rather than something that makes sense in-universe. the emond’s fielders i can see, since they were raised in a tiny community with traditional values, but i feel like avi and min would be much more open-minded and less set on Marriage As Endgame (and elayne sort of since she knows much more of the world than the emond’s fielders, yet at the same time that was more like textbook knowledge and her actual life experiences had been very sheltered, not to mention that as a person she’s such a hopeless romantic that it makes sense to me for her specific character that she would seek Marriage As Endgame). and yet, even among the aiel with their views on relationships that boggle wetlanders’ minds, they don’t even seem to conceive of a romantic relationship not resulting in marriage. mat was our ONE character who was happy to have romance without marriage, but of course he’s going to change his mind in the end now that tylin and tuon are whipping him into Proper Husband shape. i mean, personally i love marriage, i love when characters get married, i would love to get married myself someday, but i just don’t think it’s realistic that this entire cast of characters with wildly different personalities and cultural backgrounds would all feel the same way lmao

“it isn’t like with you humans, min. you do everything rand asks.” LOIAL JUST ABSOLUTELY MURDERING MIN LMAOOOOO it’s true and he should say it!

“‘it has to end!’ rand thundered, echoed by the crashes in the sky. he had doffed his coat before this interview, and rolled up his shirtsleeves to bare the dragons twined around his forearms in scarlet and gold, the golden-maned heads resting on the backs of his hands. he wanted the man in front of him reminded with every look that he was facing the dragon reborn.” 🥵🥵

“he suspected flinn would fight as hard to hang on to corele as she to him; he was fairly certain there was more between those two than the bond now. well, if an aes sedai could bond a man who channeled, what was to say a pretty woman could not fix on a gimpy old man?” rand says as if that doesn’t happen all the time in this series 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

“davram bashere appeared even shorter than he really was alongside the ogier” short king!

“no matter what you’ve done, it is time to turn your eyes to the black tower before taim splits it worse than the white tower is. if he does, you’ll find the larger part is loyal to him, not you. they know him. most have never even seen you.” logain, that is a very fair point.

on the subject of taim: is he demandred in disguise, or was he originally supposed to be but then rj changed his mind? because i have seen “taimandred” referenced but as of now it doesn’t SEEM like they’re meant to be the same person, and i’ve seen mentions of demandred’s and taim’s original plotlines being changed partway through. if they really are the same, don’t tell me, but if they were originally supposed to be the same but then that was shelved, do tell me so i’m not like “we’re popping the biggest bottles when taim is revealed to be demandred!” and then it never happens jkfjgh

“[logain] knew saidin was clean, but he could not believe rand or any man had actually done the cleansing.” poor rand is busting his ass on the group project and not getting any credit for it. when a bad thing happens everyone assumes he’s behind it even if he didn’t do it, but when a good thing he actually did do happens, no one will believe he’s the one who did it 😔

“did he think the creator had decided to stretch out a merciful hand after three thousand years of suffering? the creator had made the world and then left humankind to make of it what they would, a heaven or the pit of doom by their choosing. the creator had made many worlds, watched each flower or die, and gone on to make endless worlds beyond. a gardener did not weep for each blossom that fell.” damn, rand’s getting philosophical! and depressed!

loial: “even you [rand] can’t face the dark one! i mean, i know the prophecies say you will, but that has to be just a way of speaking.” bless his optimistic heart

rand wants to arrange a truce with the seanchan noooooo babygirl you’ve gotta wipe them out before it’s too late! but then, it already is too late, they’re spreading all through the continent 😔

“it was good to have someone he could talk to about missing faile. [berelain] listened, and smelled of sympathy.” this would’ve been an excellent throuple if only perrin and faile weren’t both so painfully monogamous. but no even then i wouldn’t see any romantic chemistry between perrin and berelain (if she’s being sincere now and really has dropped her attempts to pursue him, then their newfound friendship is so wholesome!) so i think they should be co-spouses worrying about their wife together. that’s the dream!

“wil gave perrin one of those open, innocent looks that fooled so many girls back home” so wil is trying to flirt with perrin, then? bicon wil al’seen! “wil liked too much embroidery on his coat at feastdays” perrin why don’t you get more embroidery on your own feastday coats and maybe you won’t be so bitter

“[medore’s] coat, with its puffy green-striped sleeves, looked odd on her bosomy frame. the daughter of a high lord, she was every inch a noblewoman, and men’s clothing just did not suit her.” perrin quit being a blacksmith to become a member of the fashion police, i guess.

“neald grinned too much since the shaido were found” the two greatest enmities in WOT are rand vs. the dark one and perrin vs. men who smile

perrin is in such faile tunnel vision that upon hearing there are DEAD PEOPLE WALKING in so habor he’s just like “whatever, they’ll have to deal with their own problems, i gotta save faile” jfkgj DUDE

i’ve heard no spoilers whatsoever relating to this, it’s so intriguing and spooky!!! i should’ve paid more attention to the ghost elayne’s maid said she saw earlier in the book

also, another potential positive of the show’s laila addition is that it will make perrin’s faile tunnel vision in this plotline so much more understandable and sympathetic and heartwrenching (tho i still hope the show will give him additional things to care about in his life besides just faile)

oh damn!! Dark Perrin coming out in full force in his desperation to save faile!! oh damn!! and his conversation afterwards with elyas about violence was so well done, and then him sticking his axe in a tree and leaving it there. one of the best scenes in perrin’s entire pov to date.

and now perrin is going to consider allying with the seanchan to save faile. SIGH. no truces with seanchan! no!

“in truth, those silvery leashes and the three sul’dam were the only real lever [mat] had with the aes sedai...not that he really thought about putting those collars on the sisters again. not often, anyway.” ugh mat. what’s happening to you? is this the beginning of him just being fine with marrying the seanchan empress and becoming complicit in the enslavement of women who can channel? this is not MY mat, i can tell you that much. his arc and characterization peaked at him saving elayne from the gholam and since then has taken a steep nosedive.

“‘it seems suroth might have made an alliance with some king,’ juilin reported with a smile over a cup of mulled wine. at least thera seemed to be making him smile more.” unlike perrin, mat IS a fan of men smiling (also, this much-talked-about alliance the seanchan have just made is defs the one with perrin since he’s quite nearby (but i bet he and mat still won’t ever cross paths!!! ugh!!))

“‘most of the settlers seem to have been sent east,’ thom said, peering sadly into his cup. as juilin grew happier day by day, he seemed to grow sadder.” FWHFGHLSFGKLJL THOM/JUILIN RIGHTS literally HOW else am i supposed to take this besides as thom being jealous of juilin and thera

“he needed someone to attract tuon’s ire, someone to make him seem acceptable by comparison” so, exactly what rj did for tuon with tylin lmao

“tuon sat cross-legged on the floor playing snakes and foxes with olver” okay cute! +1 point for tuon

“‘toy doesn’t mean to be rude,’ tuon murmured in that slow honey drawl. ‘he just has never been trained in manners.’” -10 points for tuon. this dynamic truly is just a gross version of matlayne, i’m so mad!

“he hated battle too - a man could get killed dead!” that made me laugh so hard jdkfjgh

“she purely enjoyed the game, laughing exultantly when she pulled him into a trap, laughing in delight when he managed a clever placement to escape. she seemed a different woman once she lost herself in the stones board.” cute again! +1 point for tuon

to think mat could be in caemlyn right now giving presents to elayne who would actually appreciate them 😤 he gives tuon some cloth rosebuds, roses are elayne’s thing! dammit!

characterization update: still makes 0 fucking sense that mat is trying to woo tuon and give her romantic gifts instead of running as fast as he can in the opposite direction

“he had overheard setalle cautioning selucia that he was a rogue with women” still makes 0 fucking sense that mistress anan is having Woman Solidarity with the evil tyrants who invaded her home. especially when she got on nynaeve’s and elayne’s cases for annoying mat back in acos (if i’m remembering that scene correctly which i may not be), why did she take mat’s side against them but not against women who are evil????

i’ve heard something of this before, but here we learn officially about the seanchan marriage custom that calling someone your spouse 3 times in front of witnesses is enough to make you legally married, so mat is now halfway to being legally married to tuon. i hope you guys have been making use of this trope to write accidental marriage fics for other ships for all these years, don’t let me down!

i’m annoyed bc there’s so many memes about mat’s love for lace but it turns out he only acquired that love for lace because he got stockholm syndromed into liking the clothes tylin forced him to wear that he never would have liked on his own. that being said, i’m laughing at the contrast between mat wishing his coat had more embroidery vs. perrin hating on wil al’seen for wearing too much embroidery, just like mat being glad to see a man smile vs. perrin hating when men smile. mat is queer and perrin is homophobic jfkgjh

“[egeanin] was not the one who had to marry the last person on earth she wanted to. a noblewoman, all cool reserve and her nose in the air, when he liked barmaids with ready smiles and willing eyes. the heir to a throne...a woman who spun his head like a top” “oh, burn him, on top of everything else, he was going to marry a woman who could channel?” THIS IS LITERALLY MATLAYNE BUT WORSE!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!! if i hadn’t known spoilers and somebody had given these passages to me earlier in the series as i’ve typed them here with a couple seanchan-specific things removed, i would 100000000% have thought it was talking about matlayne. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

also, the fact that in all his listing of tuon’s bad traits, mat does not once mention the fact that she enslaves people. okay. mat/tuon is matlayne but worse in many ways but especially because his friendship with elayne was helping mat get over his hatred and fear of and prejudice towards channelers, but being with tuon is just making it worse again to the point that (from what i hear of spoilers) he’s not even going to care that the damane system is still in place at the end of the series and he’s married to the woman responsible for it. not going to care or try to do anything about it.

“‘perhaps i will have lace added to your robes if i make you a cupbearer.’ could she still make him da’covale if she married him? he would have to ask egeanin. light, why did women never make it easy?” mat i promise you that making you worry about whether or not they will ENSLAVE YOU is not a General Woman Thing

mat also may or may not have seen dead people walking around, i’m so interested to find out what this is all about!!

tuon is happy when mat puts his foot down with her (“if you’re going to buy anything, it’s going to be here. i’ve had al the exercise i care for this morning.”) perhaps because of the classic trope which matlayne could’ve done better of sheltered royal being glad when love interest treats them like a normal person instead of bowing and scraping?

“even when a woman needed help, if she did not want it, she made you pay for giving it” remember the wonderful character and relationship development of mat saving elayne from the gholam and her sincerely thanking him for it, thus, you might think, putting an end to this sort of sexist thinking mat used to have? i miss that.

“if he left her behind, then she could not say the [marriage] words, or if she did, he would be too far away for the words to matter. if he left her behind, he would never learn why she smiled those mysterious smiles, or what lay behind the mystery.” cool, so LEAVE HER THE FUCK BEHIND THEN god!!!! so many opportunities for him to get rid of her and he just chooses not to for ooc reasons! these are the kinds of thoughts mat should only be having 5 books into an enemies-to-lovers slowburn, not after a few chapters of tuon giving him (and the reader) absolutely nothing! the fact that this romance could have been so well done and compelling and interesting makes the fact that it’s instead rushed and forced and ooc so much worse.

it’s so frustrating that 2 of my 3 #1 favorite characters (mat and rand, with elayne being the one still going strong) are now stuck with arcs and/or romances i hate for them.

but it is kinda hilarious how this book has elayne and egwene doing their own hot girl shit meanwhile both perrin’s and mat’s plotlines are pretty much entirely revolving around their female love interest. feminism? lmao

a woman (renna) escapes with the intent of exposing mat & co to the seanchan, meaning they would all die and/or be enslaved. the good news is that mat has enough sense to order her to be killed when they catch up to her. the bad news is that he’s all “aaaaaaahhhhh killing a woman!!!!!” “that made three [women he’d killed whether directly or indirectly]. never again, he thought as renna floated out of sight around a bend. if i die for it, never again.” good GOD this is one of the most infuriating aspects of the entire series

tuon: “she was trying to betray you. what you did was justice, and i name it so.” +1 point for tuon. actually +5 points because i'm so annoyed about the Can’t Kill Women thing that tuon not giving a shit is a balm to my soul lmao

EGWENE WAS BETRAYED AND CAPTURED BY THE TOWER AES SEDAI AAAAAAAAAHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!

okay moving back to the start of that chapter. i said before that i changed my mesaana guess from theodrin to tarna, but now i’m going back to theodrin - part of why i changed my guess is that we hadn’t seen theodrin in a long time (the other reasons being that alviarin thought mesaana was a sister inside the tower and theodrin isn’t, and that alviarin said mesaana’s disguise had blue eyes and the next chapter tarna was stated to have blue eyes), but she cropped up again in this chapter just before things went bad for egwene. coincidence? i think not! plus, mesaana is a nerd so if she was in disguise as an aes sedai she would totally be brown like theodrin rather than red like tarna. “that fool girl [theodrin] has less brains than a fisher-bird! you’d think she wants someone to find out she’s keeping an eye on romanda for you.” maybe she DOES 👀👀

this is exactly what i mean when i say i want rj to hold back information about secret identities, traitors, darkfriends, etc. more often. i’m having so much fun with this mystery! nobody better spoil me!

“larine [ayellin, a new novice] was almost the same age as [egwene], and a close friend growing up. they had spent hours together, gossiping and practicing putting their hair in braids for when the women’s circle said they were old enough.” i think this is the first time we’ve heard about a specific childhood friend of egwene’s, seeing as she doesn’t seem to have been actual friends with rand, mat, and perrin like she was in the show.

another piece of evidence for our “what causes agelessness” debate: egwene talks about how the kin live longer and “show age like anyone else, if more slowly.” romanda replies “if they channel, they would achieve the look. if they age, they cannot be channeling very often if at all. and neither way could they live five or six hundred years!” and egwene says “there is only one real difference betwen aes sedai and the kin. they left the white tower before they could swear on the oath rod.” which i’m guessing is as good a confirmation as we’ll get that it is indeed the oath rod that causes the aes sedai ageless look.

a random aes sedai is said not to be “interested in men that way” another explicit confirmation of queer people existing in wotworld! and a full sister who is still a lesbian and wasn’t just experimenting as a novice, and isn’t in the man-hating red ajah (she’s blue)

okay so egwene argues with some aes sedai (mainly romanda) about whether or not aes sedai should unswear the oaths and retire, and with others (lelaine and maigan) about whether or not to more or less use compulsion on the asha’man to leash them to the tower (egwene says HELL NO and is horrified and disgusted by the thought, but lelaine and maigan think they should). this + theodrin possibly being mesaana, there are lots of potential suspects for who would’ve wanted egwene captured by elaida’s contingent. a good mystery!!!

“bode’s future would be brilliant. her potential almost equaled egwene’s.” love that for her!! and meanwhile her brother has a future of being complicit in the enslavement of women like her :) i wonder if bode and mat will ever see each other again by the end of the series.

egwene-bela reunion!!! 😭😭 “you carried me away from the two rivers. can you run as fast now?” 😭😭😭😭😭

bode was with egwene when egwene got captured, did bode get captured too???? (rhetorical question) i hope not, but i also hope so because i would love to see more of her and see her become a bigger character.

bashere says the seanchan want rand to meet the daughter of the nine moons, and good thing i know this is a trap and won’t actually be tuon because otherwise it would be SO MEAN to tease me with this possibility of a cauthor reunion in the next book. i wish!!!!

and the conclusion is an emo as fuck poem that rand may or may not have written jkfgh i’m yelling!! love that for him! can’t believe he found time to write a poem.

thus i have made it through what i believe is widely considered the worst book of the series lmao it wasn’t as bad as i’d expected. i definitely think that reading the books all at once rather than as they’re coming out, with years between books, helps the pacing feel not as bad. the faile kidnapping plotline, for example, while my least favorite of the current plotlines, doesn’t feel as dragged out and meandering as everyone said - it’s really only like 5 chapters per book, which is not that much wasted screentime. but overall, definitely not much happened in this book. like 2/3 of it was devoted to showing people reacting to a channeling event that happened in the last book, which is just ridiculous fjgkh it’s going to be hilarious when the show does all that in 1 episode or less

thoughts on the plotlines: elayne’s is by far my fav of the current plotlines, my eyes glaze over a bit with all the minor aes sedai and quibbles between them in egwene’s but i’m enjoying hers overall (and am very excited to continue it because of that cliffhanger), perrin’s pov has always been boring to me and is not significantly more boring nowadays, rand’s and mat’s have sharply declined in enjoyment because i hate their girlfriends and mat’s character direction. but i know matlayne and cauthor reunions are coming eventually, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

#the fact that i could do this entire book in only 2 recap posts shows how little is going on in it lmao #granted this one is quite a long post #wot #wot book spoilers

[revjem]

Shuffled playlist tag game

Rules: you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Put a playlist on shuffle, list the first 10 songs and then tag people :)

Aight, I was tagged by the lovely @crickets-lovely-place so this is for her specifically. I the playlist I chose is the one that I've spent the most time curating, it's called Rule of 3 and the concept is simple, I choose three kpop songs that are Thematic in some way (usually the title itself but it could be a specific lyric, the songs sound or smth else)

It's not the most accurate to what I listen to generally cuz there are songs on here that I don't just listen to otherwise, but again, I've spent a lot of time on this playlist of currently 164 songs.

1. El Dorado by EXO - This song is grouped with Wonderland by Ateez and Atlantis by SHINee. It's such a good song an absolute bop! 8/10

2. Good Lil Boy by Ateez - Grouped with Pretty Boys by the Pentagon Rap Unit and Big Boy by T.O.P (formerly of Big Bang). This song honestly needs to be listened by everyone, it's one of the best Ateez b-sides 9/10

3. Red Moon by KARD - Grouped with Not by the Moon by GOT7 and Luna by Oneus. Red Moon goes incredibly hard, KARD consistently goes hard and because of BM's time growing up in Brazil their songs have some great Latin influences and Red Moon is no exception 11/10

4. Spider by Hoshi (SVT) - This song actually recently lost its place in playlist, cuz it had been paired with Venom by Stray Kids and Pink Venom by Blackpink, but it's been replaced by Sweet Venom by Enhypen. I just haven't removed it yet, cuz it's so good. I'm hoping to find it a new home. Spider is so good, and his performance video is a Much Watch. Ugh he's so good! 9/10

5. Good Love by KARD - Grouped with Like by BTS and After Like by IVE. Ooooh a second KARD song, Lets go! Good Love is a really fun chill summer time vibe, again with nice Latin influences, KARD only has Like 6 minialbums, everyone should listen to their whole discography but I digress. 8/10

6. 100 by NCT 127 - Grouped with 100 by SuperM and 100 Ways by Jackson Wang. One of NCT's least stupid songs, it does start out referencing a 1000cc engine tho so it's still stupid. God I love NCT. 100 is a pretty good gateway song to NCT tho. 7/10

7. DDU-DU DDU-DU by Black Pink - Grouped with God's Menu by Stray Kids and Doom Du Doom by P1Harmony. No intro needed, everyone knows DDU-DU DDU-DU it's an instant classic, a true banger YG give BP more comebacks 10/10

8. CALL by Stray Kids - Grouped with Don't Call Me by SHINee and Call Me by BTOB. This song is so lovely, Stray Kids are so good! They DO NOT MISS. A chill lovely vibe. My heart yearns 9/10

9. Doorbell Ringing by xikers - Paired with Thats a No No by Itzy, I need a third "Dont kill my vibe" song still 😫. MY BOYS! Xikers is just over a year old at time of post, and i love them! They are gonna be at the top of the industry for 5th gen. As of their third mini-album this is a top 5 xikers song! It's legit so good! It does not kill the vibe, it IS the vibe! 12/10

10. Jopping by SuperM - Grouped with Horololo by EXO-CBX and Sorry, Sorry by Super Junior. WHEN WE JUMPING AND POPPING WE JOPPING!!! BROS This song is IT (it being the very beginning of my descent into the madness that is stanning NCT) But fr this is an absolute banger, you will be jopoing by the end of the song, I have no notes, everyone needs to hear this song STAT! 100/10

I'm gonna tag @plaid-n-converse @emperor-xerneas and @freelancerofthetriforcekeyblade

#tumblr games #music #music game #kpop #exo #ateez #shinee #pentagon #t.o.p bigbang #kard #got7 #oneus #hoshi seventeen #stray kids #blackpink #enhypen #bts #ive #nct 127 #superm #jackson wang #p1harmony #btob #xikers #itzy #exo cbx #super junior

[harmonictechnicality]

1 and 3 for steddie ask!!

oh baaaabe these asks made me use my whole brain 🙈

1. Why do you like this ship? I grew up with a sibling that is 10 years older than me, so I watched everything they watched. A big chunk of my childhood was spent watching Wayne's World over and over and over again. So this ship gives me the biggest nostalgia grab to that movie. The humor and the music and the stupid boys being stupid together. All of that. Except these boys are in love, so it's even better 🥰

3. Favorite three Steddie fanfics? omgomgomg shamelessly plugging emily's ao3 here because everyone should go read YOUR fics *asap* (no point in picking 3 because they're all HITS, read them alllll). They're so dynamic and satisfying and AGH I trulyyyy could fawn over your writing for hours 💙 Since I consume fics like *oxygen* - I'm gonna cheat and tell you the 3 fics I've reread the most:

(The Shire is NOT on Fire) by kissesforcas: this was the first steddie fic I ever read, so there's such a comfort tug with it. The costume descriptions may be one of my favorite bits to reread, I can totally visualize them. And nerdy Eddie has my whole heart.

(Rock of Ages) by BoudicaMuse: I was a music theory minor in college, which means I took an absurd amount of music history/technology - so this fic hits all of my niche buttons *pun very much intended* But it's also insanely well written and everything @spinmewriteround writes is like edible word candy, I'll absolutely inhale all of it.

(Money, Power, Glory) by @strangerthings1975 : I swearrrr, any time there are updates to this fic, I reread as much as possible to hype myself up. The concept is SO captivating. But the part that hooks me in is Steve's self-reflection. You literally watch him grow as a character. He's figuring shit out about himself and life and his feelings for Eddie. The layers are so raw and real, which I totally adore.

-and shoutout to @vecnuthy who graciously puts up with me sending her fics to read along with me alllll the damn time, you're the purest aries in all the fire nations 🧡

this was so fun AH thank you SO much for asking!! Have the most wonderful day! sending you all the positive writing vibes xx ✨

#harmony asks 🪄 #steddie ask game

[sorrowschengmei]

i believe one thing we don't talk a lot about regarding Xue Yang's heartbreak and trauma is how much his existence is permeated by SHAME

shame is a horrible feeling, it makes us feel denied in our dignity and wholeness, as if being ourselves is a dishonour. he's said to be shameless, and he postures as shameless, ofc, the last thing he wants is to be read as someone who has weakenesses. if he acts enough like an aggressive slut who breaks all taboo, he doesn't need to deal with his core wound, that goes even further than ox cart day.

being on the street brings shame. people deny your humanity, offend you, treat you as if your existence there is a burden. this is not me, this is what people who have dealt with homelessness say. for a-Yang, the wound of shame accompanies him since he was on the street.

and then there's Ox Cart Day... how can i start. the shame of being once young and naive and trusting, vulnerable in front of others, and the lifelong reminder of the day someone just decided you were so lowly your small body still in development wasn't capable of pain or fear.

if you're a-Yang, these feelings become intrusive thoughts and never stop: the shame of begging for food,  the shame of just existing as a small and helpless thing like all human animal cubs, the shame of exposing yourself and trusting people... and of course, the shame of carrying the physical scar of all of this. he likes to show off the glove, but i'm very sure he often looks at it and gets his 'memento mori' moment.

instead of 'remember you too will die', it's 'remember you too can be hurt'

dying is such a simple thing for him, the more he brings death, the more his own death becomes an abstract concept. but he knows how it is to be hurt. he worked his entire life to physically suppress pain, turn his lawless life into strength instead of weakness.

crying is shameful, laughing and taunting while bleeding is powerful.

crying and feeling pain is for the naive and dim-witted 'boy', who doesn't even get the honour of being called Xue Yang in his retellings of his own life.

his life is an eternal escape from the 'boy' and all the shame that comes with being him. the boy is weak, sad, stupid, disabled. Xue Yang is strong, optimistic, smart, and he has a very cool glove he likes to show off. not the same. NEVER the same.

this is why Yi City was so intense for him.

while he was hurt and unconscious. he unvoluntarily became 'the boy' again. and then he wakes up, and the Daozhang, the LAST person he'd ever expect to do so, says with his actions: 'it's okay to be the boy. there's no shame on that.'

thing is, at this point 'the boy' and 'Xue Yang' are almost two different people that cannot coexist.

one likes to tell jokes, sweetly tease everyone around him, perform acts of service for people he loves. the other likes to kill, deceive, control.

one is a real human, the other is the personification of all the shameful words thrown at this real human.

like a thoughtform, they got a life of their own and became a shadowy entity enveloping the core, so tight they almost become one thing.

see, what really awakens Xue Yang's killing intent in Yi city is being called 'disgusting'. i don't which word they use in Chinese but the conotation must be VERY heavy. even in English, it's a trigger word totally tied to the wound of shame.

vomit is disgusting. roaches. trash. if you're a-Yang, growing up with this word means you tie your image, your body, your qi, everything that makes you be you to things like vomit, roaches, trash. everything the Gods gave you is not soft, sweet, loveable, it's DISGUSTING.

and for you this is a fixed reality, after all, sweet kids who deserve to be loved aren't crushed by ox cart wheels.

those wheels ran over trash, dirt, piss, mud, and you, that is not too different from the rest of the list.

and then in his world, the sweet Daozhang is just Chang Ci'an 2.0. it's the self fulfilling prophecy: if you let yourself become the boy again, you'll be hurt again. what is a Xue Yang? i can only see a disgusting street kid there. shame. shame. shame.

but hey, he STILL can be Xue Yang.

so he starts doing what Xue Yang does best: aggression, deceit, ruthlessness. done, safety is back, the boy can cry as much as he wants under the Daozhang's wheels, you are NOT the boy, you're POWERFUL, you CAN'T BE HURT, you CAN'T BE SHAMED. everything is fine, right? it was a bit 'wow' when the Daozhang killed himself, but lol had it coming.

then you realise you're the boy, and this abslutely evil creature called Xue Yang killed the person you loved the most in the world. congratulations, you really became Xue Yang.

and you finally realised the disgusting creature the Daozhang was talking about was him, not you. but now there's no way back, becoming the boy again is impossible, you'll have to live your entire life as Xue Yang, aware of how disgusting you are. shame. shame. SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you can delude yourself into anything, you can fantasize about getting the boy back, pretend nothing is happening, pretend you LIKE to be Xue Yang, nothing will ever work.

you're doomed.

Wei Ying&co met a ghost. the real man had been dead for 8 years.

#xue yang #the untamed meta #the untamed #xue yang meta #Sorrowful Thoughts