#you know that thing that says that if you dont personalize anything you will die with nothing by your name or something like that

[linipik]

Shiro with a full sleeve tattoo 💜

#takashi shirogane #voltron #voltron legendary defender #fanart #vld #LEap Year Boyyyy #i have ONE thing in my mind and it is... i want to learn to tattoo so here is one guy with a full sleeve bc life #those are violets February flowers #not very traditioal japanese to have that purple but whatever #you know that thing that says that if you dont personalize anything you will die with nothing by your name or something like that #yeah #im a bit mad i finished it after midnight

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i only just found your au and i need everyone to have a happy ending so badly im gonna cry ;-; sally is gonna be so freakin upset when she wakes up for real and sees she decimated barnaby.

oh, Barnaby already has his arm stitched back on when she wakes up! and really, even if he didn't, that'd be the Least of her worries. she wakes up into a Real nightmare - partially of her (unintentional) making

#happy endings... well... yes and no. depends on what act you look at #act one? no! actually things get So Much Worse in an entirely festive new way! #act two? eh! sorta! its more bittersweet than anything #act three and four blend into each other so much that three doesn't have an 'ending' #but the final act - act four... well. who's to say! im still workshopping what i want to happen #but i do know it's still gonna have at Least a bittersweet tinge to it #wh lights out au #rambles from the bog #there are consequences and not everyone Makes It. i dont like stories where everything wraps up perfectly fine #even if it hurts! i like it when things hurt in a good way. those stories where the ending is overall positive #but Enough Happened that its just... its an ache. looking at where someone used to be. you know? #my favorite shows and books and fics have ended with me smiling while sobbing bc it yes it Hurts but it was So Fucking Good #and while i wouldnt be able to handle rewatching/rereading due to Emotional Damage... #i think of them fondly and often and theyre Important to me #perfectly happy endings just rub me wrong. it always feels like there's something Missing despite it all being idyllic #i cant let my own stories - original or aus or whatever - have that kind of end #so if thats what people are hoping for! you've come to the wrong person and the wrong au! #i like to be kind but that rarely extends to my creative works! #i like it messy and painful and bittersweet and i like to be Ruthless with my creations with no compromise #sometimes characters need to fight. or leave. or die. or make serious mistakes. etc. #but anyway! anyway.... #i will say that there isn't a happy ending for Everyone. and for others it's... complicated. again - bittersweet

[semercury]

Can't go shopping by myself or I'll end up donating $450. Got it.

#stuff sarah says #i never know what to do in those situations #i dont keep cash on me for that reason #but if you come up to me and ask me to buy your cart im not allowed to say no #i thought it would be around $100. not $450. #my ears are such im not good at understanding broken english and i have no spine #and i would have been a bad person if i said no #im probably still a bad person bc his wife asked me to buy MORE and i was like no. i work a part time job #and the super fucked up thing? this wont even hurt that bad for me #i pinch every penny and have a good cushion and savings #i dont deserve any of it. what am i going to use it for? school? #like i deserve that happiness #i should die. i deserve to die. im not good for anything and then my money can go to people who deserve it more

[bunnihearted]

Why would you wish your neighbors to fkn die just because they make noise?

gosh some ppl are way too sensitive and cant handle ppl saying anything at all huh

#bc im angry and they are RUINING MY DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY #bc they make noise that wouldnt be heard if they didnt live in next to empty apartments #bc im extremely nosie sensitive and get sensory overload very easily and noise makes me suicidal and homicidal #good for you that you dont care!!!! you are FORTUNATE for not being this heavily affected by noise. you're not better than me. ur lucky #grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it makes me so annoyed that ppl like u just cant handle mentally ill ppl VENTING. #am i sending them death threats? no. am i beating them up? no. am i sending complaints to them? no. i am enduring my suffering #bc we live in a world where nobody cares abt ppl who arent normal. i am in genuine physical pain bc of this everyday #do u think this is fun for me???? do u think i want to be like this? no! i'd kille to be like u who can walk unaffected thru life!!!!!! #do u think i enjoy spending my days in agony just bc noise upsets me? i cant fkn focus on my school work!!!!!!! or anything else!!!!!!!!! #do u know that there is NOTHING i can do? i have to accept a life of daily torment bc im noise sensitive #if society allowed me i'd live in specific apartments designed for noise sensitive ppl. or in a cottage on the countryside #but society dont give a fuck abt ppl who diverge from being normal #also omfg just bc i vent and say i wish they died dont mean i actually genuinely want them to die #why are y'all so black and white?????? why is it so hard to understand that just bc u express smth in anger dont mean u ACTUALLY want it #tbh y'all are too much. and fkn unfair. ppl are actually allowed to vent in anger and let out steam and not suppress their emotions #i have never done anything to cause another person harm. i even have high blood pressure bc im so stressed out yet i never do anything #i have done NOTHING to harm my neighbors. the only thing i do is vent on my blog #do u really think theyre magically gonna die just bc i vent abt it??????? #bro fuck off you made me even angrier like if u cant handle ppl expressing ugly thoughts #u and i are not compatible bc *i* know that u need to express things u might not even mean #but u clearly dont and need everyone to be uwu peace and love and perfect so just leave me alone go awayyyyyyyyyyy

[perenlop]

well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place

#it was alriiiight.... but man i hate to say it but i think i have more complaints than praises #i DID like florins new execution route and i liked talons deal. the entire end of night spell deal was horrifying and i loved it #i love that genre of horror like ''you die twice when you get forgotten after death'' #so seeing it play out here was horrifying in a good way. talon and amber's deaths were both so fucking good like goddamn #they were just as heartbreaking as they needed to be. especially ambers like when you go talk to tesla after #but. man i dont think meta games are for me cause ngl i was sorta just like ''aight.'' to most of the meta here #like that was the one thing about talon i didnt care for. i thought ''everyone i know and love is going to die and god is screaming at me'' #was a fine enough motivation to go crazy and become a rift. i thought it was compelling and tragic and a good thing to do #with a new character. but then he started going ''in older versions of the game i wasnt even there i was just a prop for the backstory'' #and thats sorta when i started tuning out. like i cant explain why but i feel it made the scene more... cheap? #i think just cause personally ive seen that motivation a lot in meta games before and its gotten old to me #tbh the entire meta angle is whats really dragging this down to me. dont get me wrong i love eizen and his scenes #but i dont see why we have to canonize the game's update cycles as like a critical part of the world #and then theres m2 who i have mixed feelings on. cause i love the character type of ''ive been through so much shit idc anymore'' #and they end up being kinda goofy and saying inappropriate/out of pocket things while trying not to discuss The Horrors #ive written more than one of those types of characters. but with m2 its like she doesnt know how to turn that off #like spacea and tiempa's deaths being a tera raid parody where they joke about being in a crashing plane and get bashed by extra melias #it just felt like. unfitting. (also a nitpick but goddamn that scene made my head hurt with how much the screen wobbled) #like really? this is the sendoff they get in the fucked up and evil route? and idk i just dont think m2 was all that funny. #she was more grating than anything tbh. and i just feel like her existence and the bad timeline is just Too Much #like there were already so many plotlines and arcs and do we Really need a new-ish character right before the climax #idk. im hoping v14 is more cohesive in this department #for now im taking a much needed break from this game lol

[quietwingsinthesky]

anthropomorphizes angel blade anthropomorphizes the tablet anthropomorphizes the bunker anthro-

#they are OLD. they are ALIVE. they have FEELINGS. #angel blades are a given because they are Part Of The Angel. they want to be with their angel. they're loyal. to turn one against the owner #is to break it. kill it too. you know? this is me saying gabriel's blade never works right again after its used to kill him. #the bunker is alive because it is full of dead tortured things. most of them didn't want to die there. sam and dean should be glad that the #men of letters were so good at magic. keeps the bunker docile. under control. but beyond that its just Old. #my personal hc that the bunker wasnt build by the MoL. they just found it and controlled it. shaped it to be a hideout for their war. #but its a lot older than them. than anything. (<- this is v inspired by the oldest house in control yes i love that game.) #that part of the bunker. that old part. it might come to love its inhabitants. not as legacies but as people who need a home. #the tablets are alive because they are angry and abandoned and full of knowledge that Must Be Read. #they were buried they were locked away. they dont appreciate being forgotten. they dont even appreciate being read. but they have to be. #its their purpose. its their only purpose. of course they hurt the prophets that read them. they resent this state of being. #that they will be read. used. and put away again. #none of this makes any sense does it askldjalkjdkl i just think more things should be Alive in spn. #(the impala being included should go without saying of course she's alive. she's baby.)

[finalhaunts]

Siigghh

#vent #idk man. feeling hopeless again #it is. so hard to be optimistic about the future when it is genuinely difficult imagining myself anywhere else but here #its difficult imagining myself getting out of this house that’s actually through a realistic scenario and isn’t just wishful andromanticized #my friends are trying to help me get out of here at least but is it even going to work out? is this all even going to be worth it? #idk. #imagining myself in a happier scenario genuinely truly does not feel right. it doesnt feel realistic. it doesnt feel possible. #and whenever I think about it I just feel weird because I know I can’t get my hopes up like that #the thought of myself being happy doesn’t feel normal. #i feel like i’ve just been stuck in the same place i’ve always been and i always will. both literally and metaphorically #i’m always going to be in this shitty house around my shitty parents rotting away like i have been for nearly 18 years now #and i feel like despite my age i haven’t actually grown up. I havent grown as a person or changed or anything. #i dont have any big achievements. i’ve never worked. I put off getting drivers ed for years until now #I don’t know how to cook or to do things the right way unless i’m shown #literally 80% of my fucking life has been spent in my room or in school #i feel like i’ve just been in stasis for years and the thought of actually having a life feels impossible. #i get the whole ‘you don’t want to die you just want an escape’ thing people say but I genuinely can’t think of any other way I could really #escape this. #the only thing that’s really keeping me from actually going ahead and killing myself is the fact that it feels selfish. i feel selfish. #because its going to hurt my friends and im going to feel even worse about it if i survive #I’m honestly envious of all my friends lives. why couldn’t i have gotten that lucky.

[semercury]

I hope the nightmares and increased bodily pain isn't a sign of anything.

#stuff sarah says #the fact the nightmares arent even abt anything im worried abt specifically makes me think its just general stress #and i carry my tension in my shoulders so they hurt #and just general tension all over... #idk. it might just be holidays. work is hard. i have things to do. the post office closes tomorrow at noon #which means things wont get sent out until tuesday at the earliest #there is no sun. its cold but not snowing. the earth is dying. my brain is on fire #im the worst person on the whole planet. i dont have time to cook. i want to cook. everyone i love could die #so you know. its whatever. is it okay that my muscles hurt? #im clenching my jaw again. my mouth hurts

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#sigh #i don't think im ever going to get over losing two close friends... #i can't believe im going through this again.. #Edward if only you were alive and not me.. you would have accomplished so much more than i have in these 17 years since you died #i still can't believe i lost my best friend at 10 years old and now i lost two close close friends again... #so much of me just wants to quit.. i have done nothing to build a future with and i know im not close to anyone #everyone of my friends have closer friends... im just here I'm only living for my parents right now #i can't fathom the pain they'll be in I already attempted before and failed and they have no clue of it that was in 2018... #and now its 2022 an ive lost such great friends again i wish i had the bravery to try again but i can't stop seeing my moms face man fuck #im such a failure of a son of a student and as a friend... i dont deserve to have good things... #I've been stuck like this for years this is all my doing and now im turning 27 and im still not doing anything with my life #i don't think i can take this much longer #i really feel my thoughts getting the better of me and im afraid of what ima do to myself in the future... #whats wrong with me i used to be such a happy cheerful person with always something quirky to say... #and now im just this lonely slob of nothingness that deserve nothing #im wearing myself out with these negative thoughts... i stopped taking my anti depression pills cause i want control of myself not sum pill #i still feel like yall are still here and we can just chill and smoke again #i wish i could be better and do better.. i just want to matter.. i want to feel seen and not forgotten of.. #im just a small note stamp in peoples pages left to be seen peripherally and skipped over i am nothing of use i bring nothing to anyone #i just wish i could die already i wish i could skip to my future death and leave this all behind.. i don't want to die before my parents.. #i can't bear to have my mom cry over me.. i was never good at anything other than being sad and lonely.. whats wrong with me #i just want to be loved to feel seen to feel wanted and not something they can just easily dismiss... i dont care about being a priority #i just want to matter and bring something positive to someone im never a good influence.. im such a horrible person...

[borderlinegerard]

more zoloft please

#personal #my posts #suicide and sh tw probably... #commenting on my posts all he wants but not just manning up and dming me or something... ok #honestly its whatever. besides when ive made these posts ive barely thought about him #if he wants anything to happen he can dm me instead of just waiting for me to do something #things have gotten. better and worse at the same time? #i relapsed like A Lot this week #but im making new friends and things are kinda just looking generally brighter #dont know if that says anything about me not talking to Him anymore.. but im happier #but like if im happier whats with the scars on my shoulders? #i feel a lot different now? #i guess im actually living. but its weird because a lot of the time i still want to die So Bad #so like whats this weird mix of All The Emotions #honestly one of my friends said he isnt picking sides and it kinda makes me feel like shit #because if you arent with me then youre against me. you know... #idk that part is kinda petty and Not a big deal #guess theres just a lot happenijg right mow and i dont know how to deal with it #i think things are generally better but im still in a space of. the world is good but i want to die #idk... good luck charlie

[dogmasquerade]

How you come out a game like Disco Elysium and think to yourself hm yes addicts should be left for dead and abandoned because "they're shit at they're job and leave a mess" when the game emphasizes Harry was like an inch away from fucking suicide. He obviously needed help. A LOT.

But oh yeah it's ok for him to be abandoned because the car was expensive and he wasn't in the right mind to do his duties (Jean could have also stepped the fuck up too but sat on his ass whining) I'm not tryna be that person because fiction is fiction but I hope to God you never come in contact with someone who is gravely disabled because of their mental health.

do we get a first anon badge is that a thing. can i get one.

#dont know how to tell you but i didnt say that. i said getting fired is a reasonable reaction. that is not equivalent to leaving him to die #also yeah no shit jean sucks #anyway #disco elysium #my first piss on the poor anon <3 #incidentally since yall already hating i do not like disco elysiums playstyle. just dont vibe with it. still played it #but personally dont like the click to choose text adventure thing lol im an fps guy #thats how much i liked the story i still played despite disliking the gameplay lol #to his previous actions. thats divorced from anything else thats objective #EDIT wow my tags got fucked up how #the 'to his previous actions' bit is meant to go with the firing bit

[c4ndystarz]

someone needs to tear tiktok away from me and set it on fire because that godforsaken app and the people on it are RUINING the little mental stability i have left i genuinely cannot exist on there for one day without seeing the most hateful shit about literally any detail about myself.

#cant be anything that isnt perfect on that fucking death trap of an app #someone has bpd? HORRIBLE person #someones not some skinny little white person?? ugly and should die #oh you have depression? good #literally tried to explain how adhd + all my other bs makes it extremely difficult for me to do basic tasks and got told to kms #hell i saw people saying ONLY CHILDREN were the most entitled horrible people they knew today #like wtf #its just a cesspool of hatred and idiots who dont know what theyre talking about #and it hurts so fucking much more every single day #honestly this close to just deleting the whole thing like whats the point #i dont LIKE using it #and yet i am trapped in this cycle of endless scrolling #its like a form of self torture that im stuck in #where everything i am and everything i do or say is wrong and i am unfixable #and all my fears of being a bad person are true #but i KNOW they arent #and i know its wrong #because while i am a flawed being i am just hurt #and it wasnt my fault i turned out like this #tiktok has ruined me fundamentally more than any other app ive ever used #which is saying something #bc i was somewhat on AMINO #i just dont understand #why people are so full of hate to eachother #whats the point of it??? #hating eachother is so exhausting arent they tired of it? #im tired just seeing it casually #mind you im tired of everything right now but still #vent post #rant post

[todayisafridaynight]

SO FUNNY I was just about to write in complaining that I got sick a day after you posted your last comic... I caught it... yet I don't have an Arakawa to take care of me... [<- I started writing this when you answered my last ask]

OH BUT NO WORRIES AT ALL I always love reading your responses and these were no exception :) It really means the world to me to have you guys listen! I believe I've [probably] mentioned the headcanon is a bit personal [In Other Words projection galore but. Believable Enough. Please DO dare to think... It'll work out...]; I was more or less expecting to keep it to myself forever because I felt the Venn Diagram of people who would know what I'm talking about and be interested had no overlap. I'm incredibly grateful to be able to have these talks and the assurance that's not the case :) and also I just kinda don't wanna Mansplain Jo To You so I'm glad that doesn't seem to be the case as well

AND I MEAN... LOL... LMAO EVEN...

it would be a pretty fair to pursue that line of thinking given he has both visible symptoms of sleep deprivation and things to lose sleep over... reminded of Debt [TWISTING AND WAILING AND CONVULSING] but also the counterpart to Matrophobia you were thinking about...

I absoluuuutely get what you mean by the mirror thing too I see you in the kitchen I smell what you're cooking... same here... very excited to see what he's like when he doesn't have to be a bullet as well... here are those for the sake of completion [If I May I think perhaps he wouldn't feel the need to change his name, just feel a disconnect if it's his father's family name and/or his given name was chosen by his father. Like an ambivalent Aoki I guess; he knows he'll answer to it so why fix what ain't broke and "inconvenience others"...]

SORRY FOR RAMBLING MYSELF HGLDJLKDJG again No Worries At All since you shouldn't be saying much with your Gameritis anyway... I hope your wrist gets better soon, rest up and take care!

NOT MY SILLY COMIC GIVIN YOU THE FLU (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) hope youre doin better now gettin sick SUCKS (╯x╰ )

oh but yaya of course : i have a cockroach for a brain so im glad star can supplement a lot more valuable commentary (╯▽╰ ) even if i have bugs for brains im still happy to see what you (and star should they write again) have to say :)

#snap chats #my only contributions to anything is illustration and now im gettin people sick 😩 horrendous.. #in any case... as a serial Nightmare Haver its only logical id inevitably project that onto people in Way Worse situations than i #if im upset bout the littelest things then i can only IMAGINE The Horrors with what jo- not to mention arakawa- have to deal with #jo esp when he outright confessed to being haunted by masato's outburst for. 'Who Knows How Long' #And Lest I Neglect Ikumi. she also gotta have it bad... everyone gets nightmares its like an episode of oprah in my mind.. #oh but i dont think you mentioned it was a personal topic- i had A Feeling tho thats also why i feel unprepared to touch on it #i generally try not to talk bout things i dont know about and while i know SOME things i certainly wouldnt want to start gettin into it #esp if someones dealt with it themselves i dont wanna say nothin STUPID. more than usual anyway #not without doing studying beforehand with a sensitive topic as such BUT LIKE I SAID im still very much open to listening #onto topis i am familiar with.. i GUESS..i still very much think of jo's potential fear of ending up like his dad #i just wish i knew what to do with the idea.. again my brain is very small and ive accepted that bout myself. at most i can draw but that i #on that note tho About His Name. yeah not many notes on that LMAO I Agree in other words #esp at his age its just a. Well I'll Die Soon Anyway There's No Point In Changing and the whole #The Few People Who Know Me Already Know Me By This So I Shouldnt #just sort of something to be numb to by this point #anyhow... i think thats all my gumball dome can rattle out... now to . drastically shift the tone of my blog with a post BYE TY FOR WRITIN #i always feel bad for apologizing since apologies are like promises and Apparently Im Very Bad At Keeping Promises so. #Forgive Me for having pool noodles for braincells.. i can only try to make up for it with works... #works that I Hope do convey the fact i Try to think and i take everythin sent to me to heart.. #ok bye bye i TRULY must get moving along (╯▽╰ ;;)

[united-under-skyfall]

whyyyyyy does my brain work this way. it literally went: work at 7am tomorrow -> 15 min away -> so you need twice that time to get there -> leave at 6:30 -> this means you have to wake up at 2am and Yes I Am Serious -> what do you mean i have to go to bed early if i want to be awake and aware for incredibly physical activity i am being actively judged on -> no i will not go to sleep until 11pm at least -> yes i am still getting up at 2am tho ❤️

#i would say fuck this but i am fully aware that i only have one person to blame and thats me #i also forgot to do laundry until it was too late to do without waking up the rest of the house so thats fun #the funny thing is i... dont have a super long or complex morning routine or anything. if i can get up i can probably be ready in 10-30 min #and i know this bc ive done it multiple times before but when i think about subjecting myself to any shorter time frame #my brain says No That Is How You Die #frankly even 4.5 hours still makes me anxious. which is DUMB #ramble

[mrfoox]

For someone who's autistic and thus like... Struggle with social situations etc, I sure do... Love a lot of people like a lot...

#miranda talking shit #I dont even think i like people overall. Im an introvert so social stuff tire me out but like damn #Those handful of people who are my friends id all do everything for tho. If we've talked more than 10 times in the past #Youre my friend and im willing to lie for the cops for you among other things. #Its a bit dangerous for me sincr i know im such an... Ride or die person plus with my asd i can be taken advantage of very badly #But so far in my life ive never had that ... Not to fhe point its like... Actually a huge problem. Ive gotten scammed in the past bc #Im too trusting. But not by a big amount or something i will be truly broken up over losing? But like yeah. I dont often say the fact id #Do like anything for people i love bc that is probably scary but legit. I care for you... I'll gladly do a lot of shit for you. No one have #I understand why people are somewhat scared of me and bc i feel too much bc sometimes it scares me too. I'd go through so much #Absolute shit for someone i love if they needed that of me. Id comprise so much of myself for others and it is kinda scary #I guess i should be glad i haven't... Attracted the type of people who would take advantage of my kindness.. I know many dont #Have the luck i do with people. But somewhat i think im also a decent person feeler. I dont give my time to people i get bad vibes from #Thats why i dont think ive ever had a problem with... Fake people or two-faced people? I think everyone in my life. Friend wise #Are all very honest/genuine. Thats a common trait among all people i cherish that and that they care. All do care and love in different way #But all have a caring side to them. And im glad. Those traits i value very highly and im glad that everyone in my life basically share that #I havent gone out of my way to find 90% of them but still they have found me/we found each other and i love that

[pizzapizzadickz]

I feel very bad. I know I keep fucking up and saying the wrong thing and I just have to keep hoping one day I won't wind up fucking a social situation so badly I lose my job or something.

I'm so fucking tired. It feels like everything is just a simulation. Like. Everything outside of my little daily routine is fake. There's nothing. Everything looks wrong. I'm so tired.

#diary #personal #dissacociation #its so stressful. i just. say the wrong thing. do the wromg thing. act the wrong way. #when you interect with people it really feels like youre playing the lottery. especially bc i never win #ugh. i did get to see the presumably autistic person on the bus again rocking. it was a guy apperently! exciting!! #i really should research that theres no other disorders that tend to cause that display of symptoms. #i really dont wish to be too presumptuous. its quite rude #i. feel like shit. i cant do anything stupid bc ill be seeing a rheumatologist next week. #so i try not to do anything dumb when i know ill be on display for someone #i really hope it wont be too bad of an appointment. i dont wanna have to walk out or something. but i dont really have high hopes. #drugs tw #self harm #god i just wanna like. get high on something and hurt myself. #whenever i make a social mistake. especially when im already overwhelmed i tend to hit myself #idk. i just do. bc i cant handle it. #and i wish i was high bc im far too hyperaware of everything and its excruciating #i hate this. ive worked 3 days straight. and i have to work tomorrow too. its too much. #...i just wanna die. idk. not really. i mostly just want this pain to stop. i want to like. recover for a bit. #its too much theres too much stress it hurts. #suicidal ideation