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deconstructedcigarette · 3 years

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Alright, I watched the Dear Evan Hansen film adaption, I’ve got a lot to say it seems so here’s the review I posted on Letterboxd.

I would like to say straight up that I am a huge fan of the Broadway show so that makes my judgment bias, and I will be comparing it.

I’m not going to criticise the choice to use Platt, I understand why they did and it’s evident that he puts his heart into the character of Evan Hansen.

The film opens with the song “Waving Through A Window” as opposed to “Anybody Have a Map?” which seemed odd. “Anybody Have a Map?” has Heidi Hansen, Evan’s mother and Cynthia Murphy, Connor’s mother, sing about not understanding their children and their struggle parenting. We observe the parallel between Evan and Connor, and open with a perspective that isn’t Evan. Instead, we are introduced via Evan’s first solo, showing off the narrative entirely through his character’s view point.

The start of the film is slow, the actors seem almost bored reciting their lines in the scenes taking place throughout the first day of school, Colton, who plays Connor Murphy, has dialed down the character’s anger which I was a little disappointed with. He yells at Evan in the hallway, not shoving him (though he would do that later) and in the library he’s quiet, even when he yells at Evan. It’s hard not to compare to Mike Faist’s performance in the musical, loud and angry and hurt “you’re the fucking freak!”

Jared’s character is barely there after “Sincerely Me” (which, I will admit, I quite loved as a musical number; the transition into the song, Colton’s movements, the ridiculously inappropriate upbeat vibe.) - which I was severely disappointed with. I love Nik Dodani as an actor and I was so excited to see him play Jared. And the bits of dialogue we get are fun, he plays the role a lot more sassy than Will Roland did on Broadway, but after “Sincerely Me” he’s shoved to the back, a couple reaction shots in “You Will Be Found”, a quick scene at the first Connor Project meeting and him and Alana waiting for Evan to show up at a subsequent meeting later on, but he never gets angry at Evan like he does in the show (“Fuck you, Evan. Asshole.”) - and whilst I was always a little sad they never got resolution in the show, it hurt here more. Him and Evan have a graduation photo together but Jared seems more annoyed while Evan is enthusiastic. The “family friend” bit never comes back around either. Dodani’s Jared never gets fleshed out and it makes me sad at what could’ve been.

Also he 100% would’ve killed the “Sincerely Me” reprise.

Jumping character from Jared to Alana Beck - I really loved Stenberg’s portrayal of Alana and it’s one of the best things to come from the film. She’s authentic, and her character actually gets fleshed out more, including a new solo “The Anonymous Ones”, which takes the place of “Disappear”. Now, I really loved “The Anonymous Ones”, I think it’s pretty, I think it perfectly fits with the theme and I adore how they made it visually parallel “Waving Through A Window” as she sings it. I also enjoy the lyrical parallels to the cut song from the musical “Hiding In Your Hands” which Zoe sings, but was replaced by “Requiem”.

However, “Disappear” was important in the musical, being sung by Evan and his imaginary Connor - the physical manifestation of his guilt throughout the musical (something the film lacks and I will speak more on in a moment). “Disappear” is the point in which Evan is asked the question “Did you fall? Or did you let go?” by Connor and we realise Evan had attempted suicide when he broke his arm, he’s in denial. In the film, it’s hinted at in Evan’s flashbacks around Ellison but not fully confirmed until “Words Fail” at the end of the film, a full hour after we learn the fact in the Broadway show. It takes away from Evan’s character.

“Requiem”, my favourite song in the whole musical, was well done. Not the best it could be, Dever, playing Zoe, seemed to struggle a little with the vocal range of the song, but to be fair Zoe has one of the harder vocal demands in the show. I love the climax having Zoe almost total her car, I thought it was a brilliant idea - however, Dever didn’t play it nearly angry enough in my opinion. Dreyfuss’ performance of “Requiem” is fuelled by anger in the bridge “when the villains fall the kingdoms never weep, no one lights a candle to remember, no one mourns at all…” the idea is there, the execution just could’ve been better.

Amy Adams as Cynthia is one of the best performances in the film. Her acting is brilliant and she nails her parts in “Requiem”, storywise though, it seems very clear that they were going for the angle where she pushes Evan into lying, she’s desperate to know more about her son. In the stage play this is evident, but I felt like they were pushing that idea more in the film - which leans back into Evan being played as more sympathetic.

There are several other instances and changes where it’s been made for Evan to look more sympathetic in the film adaption; cutting the songs “Anybody Have a Map?” (outside perspective), “Disappear” (Evan’s biggest mistake in the film outside of the original lie), and especially “Good For You” (Heidi, Alana and Jared holding Evan accountable), the change in “If I Could Tell Her” having Evan and Zoe talking in the kitchen and almost kissing as opposed to him actually kissing her in Connor’s bedroom in the show (a moment wherein I was asking “how far is he willing to take this?”).

In the end, there is the change made wherein Evan exposes himself online as a liar, whereas in the show the Murphy’s decide to keep it secret because of the good that has come from the Connor Project. And I guess this works in the sense of the film, offers a bit of closure to Evan’s character arc as he tries to actually go and find out what Connor was really like after doing so (something taken from the novel of all things, and I’m slightly pissed off that if the novel was being taken into account they didn’t bother to even hint at Miguel, Connor’s canonical boyfriend in the book.)

I know this was the writer’s way of trying to hold Evan more accountable for his actions, but honestly? “Good For You” still does a better job - having Heidi, Alana and Jared, characters we know and understand their hurt and frustration, ripping into Evan is a much more satisfying way to have him held accountable for his actions then just Evan opening up instagram and posting a video unprompted.

Speaking of there being a lack of “Good For You” - Heidi Hansen barely makes it into the film. After “Anybody Have A Map?” and “Good For You” being cut she has one song, “So Big/So Small” which takes place after Evan is honest about everything and tells her what he tried to do when he broke his arm, and the song is beautiful, it’s sang well and it’s a clearly devastating song - but I felt such a lack of connection to this portrayal of Heidi due to how little she was in the film. However, what she was in there for, Moore acted her well - and would’ve absolutely killed “Good For You” if they had left it in. Which they had the time to do oh my god-

I couldn’t find a place to talk about this earlier but “You Will Be Found” is the emotional climax to end the first act of the show on Broadway. The song is fine in the film, but the editing of one part in particular really annoyed me - the part of the song where it’s the chorus of voices echoing “you are not alone” and there is just post after post merging together to create a photo of Connor. It’s a clear parallel to the set on the Broadway show, and I see what they were attempting to do but the editing just didn’t look right? At all? I hated it.

The film is ended in the same manner as the Broadway show, at the end of the year at the orchard, Zoe takes Evan and they talk, get closure, and that’s that. All this ending with Connor’s song, which I was thrilled that Connor got a song let me tell you, “A Little Closer” which surfaces as Evan’s attempting to find out more about the real Connor - it stems from a video of him singing at rehab. Connor in the film, like Zoe, plays guitar and writes songs. This was actually a detail about Connor I really liked that they added, links him to Zoe a little more. In the novel, Zoe actually writes and sings “Requiem” while Connor’s ghost watches her, and I just like the symmetry it provides the two characters, who otherwise are “a million worlds apart”. That was another reason I was upset about Zoe’s lack of anger during “Requiem”, it links back to Connor’s own anger.

My biggest gripe with the film is the lack of Connor. In the Broadway show he remains as the physical manifestation of Evan’s guilt for lying about being the dead kid’s friend, he talks to Evan and seemingly coaxes him to lie more, he’s the one who begs the question “did you fall? or did you let go?”, in the novel he remains as a ghost, every three or so chapters having one of his own which gives insight into his life while being alive (showing how wrong Evan has him) and commenting on Evan’s trainwreck of a lie (which offers a perspective that’s not Evan’s). There’s a scene in the novel where his ghost interacts with Evan once, after the truth comes out Evan is lying on the road unwilling to get up despite an oncoming car and Connor’s ghost just screams at him to get up. It’s a bittersweet moment. In the film however, aside from the first day of school and the “Sincerely Me” montage, we are given nothing until Evan unearths the video of him singing in rehab. It’s odd. Connor’s suicide acts as the catalyst for the plot, and Levenson himself has referred to Evan and Connor as mirror images of one another, which is one of the reasons his presence is important throughout the story. The film lacks it.

Overall, I didn’t absolutely hate the film, I liked a few of the new character details, loved the two additional songs, and it would’ve been alright had the film been a stand-alone film, but being a fan of the Broadway show since 2017, I was left disappointed at what could have been. Jared not having any development, Heidi not being in the film much at all, the lack of Connor - ghost or the physical manifestation of Evan’s guilt aside.

But in a sentence? It could’ve been worse.

#Dear Evan Hansen #DEH #DEH Film #Film #Musical #Mak Speaks #I have a lot of thoughts about this #These characters mean the world to me #Anyway I'm gonna go and cleanse myself by rereading charactershoes' come and go AGAIN

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pascal-istheway · 3 years

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Kinktober Day 1

I was going to try to do Kinktober this year but may not be able to keep up with it all between wedding planning and shit. Anyways, Here’s day 1

Kink: Tit Fucking [18+]

Warning: NSFW

Pairing: Javier Pena X Fem!Reader

Zoe’s notes: I can totally picture Javi needing to watch himself in this way, so enjoy!

Word count: 2.3k

KINKTOBER 2021 MASTERLIST

You’d been working all day on a new lead. A sicario had been caught on tape disclosing a location of one of Pablo’s various labs. The only problem was the satellite connection wasn’t stable so of course, half the call was cut out and you had to do your best to try and fill in the blanks.

You sat at your desk, hands weaved into your hair as you rested your head in frustration. Everyone else had already gone home, your partner, Agent Murphy, being one of the last to leave beside you. As far as you knew, you were alone.

You sign in frustration, closing the file and grabbing your apartment keys from the top drawer of your desk before trudging off to catch a ride home.

You hadn’t accounted for the fact that it was after midnight on a Tuesday and no cabs would be running this late, especially near the office of an American DEA agent. Could this day get any worse?

Defeated, your feet carry you back inside as you mentally prepare for the roughest night sleep on the world’s shittiest couch known to man. But as your feet are slowly carrying you up the cold concrete steps, your other partner, Javi, comes barreling through the glass doors, clearly as frustrated as you were feeling earlier.

“Oh, shit, uh sorry there partner,” he skidded to a halt in front of you, “did you forget something?”

“Yeah, no cabs run this late,” you laugh, feeling silly for not realizing how late it had been earlier, “was just going to crash on the couch in the break room but I-“

“Nonsense, I’ll drive,” he held his keys up, jingling them around his finger.

You hop into his older model Jeep, pulling the door behind you and clicking your seatbelt across your lap. He heads off towards your building, which coincidentally, is the same one he lives in.

Being one floor below him was nice. You had the security if needed. The downside was his late-night visitors. The informants he kept company with would keep you up into odd hours of the night. As if your job wasn’t already hard enough, try doing it with little to no sleep, pining for a man who is upstairs fucking another woman.

He killed the engine in his usual spot, parking nose out as he always did. The night just felt like it was dragging and you couldn’t wait to slip under the covers and blackout for what few hours you had left. You were thankful though, tomorrow you had requested to take off and desperately needed the rest.

You followed each other up the stairs, your footsteps amplified by your partner as they echoed in the stairwell. When you arrived at your door, you stopped, turning your keys over in your palm.

“So I guess this is me,” you say at the same time Javi says, “do you want to come up for a drink?”

You stand there and smile, laughing awkwardly with him. He rubs the back of his neck, “I mean, if you’re tired, maybe another -“

You interrupt him, “Javi, I’d love to. But only if you have whiskey,” pushing past him, you start up the stairs, smirking at him over your shoulder because you know damn well all that man has in his place is whiskey. How many late nights had you spent together going through surveillance photos over a bottle and cheap takeout?

“What do you think I am, an animal? Of course, I have whiskey,” he shouts after you and takes the steps two at a time to beat you to his door.

He unlocks it, letting you in first, and closes it behind you with a soft click. You look around, taking in the bachelor pad he has created for himself. It was messy and unkempt, just like you’d expect from someone like Javi. Empty bottles sat on the coffee table from last night’s game you assumed he watched with Murphy, some food leftover in a bowl on the side table.

His voice interrupted your thoughts when he asked, “usual with ice?”

“Hmm?” your head whipped around to see him holding two glasses with a dark amber liquid in them.

“I asked if you wanted ice,” he smiled, handing you one of the glasses. You look down at the brown liquid swirling around the sides of the glass and smile.

“Oh. This is fine,” the glass feels cool as you bring it to your lips, letting the liquid sit on your tongue before sliding down your throat. Javi wasn’t one to spend a lot on the good stuff, not that you minded. He didn’t have to impress you by any means. And it’s not like you guys could afford the good shit on a DEA’s salary anyways.

Javi watches with interest, his eyes tracking the way your throat moves slightly when you swallowed - the way your tongue swipes out after you take your sip. It makes his pulse quicken, and it wasn’t from his own drink. You could feel his eyes on you, scanning your body from top to bottom.

His reputation around the embassy wasn’t unknown to you. Javier was a womanizer in the sense that his reputation with his informants went far beyond the occasional reward for a casual tip.

It was true that he loved women and that they loved him in return, and they loved him often. But not just because he was a handsome DEA agent. No, they loved him for far more than his skills outside of the bedroom.

“You were working awfully late Agent,” he jokes with you, knowing damn well that you always are one of the last to leave.

“I could say the same for you, Javi,” you smile, taking another long sip from your glass, “you are normally out of there well before I am.”

“I had something I was working on. The time got away from me I guess,” he stretched his arm above his head, his shirt poking up to reveal the slightest bit of his stomach. The beautifully tanned skin was peppered with hair leading down below his pants, something you noticed every time he did this in the office.

“Let me guess, Sharon over in the records department?” you laugh at him.

He pauses, squinting at you before joining in on the joke, “haha very funny…”

“Sorry but for a guy like you…” your words trail off as he takes a few steps closer, his glass hanging down at his side now.

“A guy like me, huh. And what exactly do you know about a guy like me, huh?” he whispers your name, eyes squinted as if he’s challenging you for more.

You swallow, your stomach shrinking while your heart beats wildly in your chest. Your eyes meet and suddenly, you get an overwhelming heat that burns between your thighs. Shit maybe it was the alcohol talking, but this version of Javi was one you didn’t ever want to back down from.

Smiling a crooked grin, you take another large sip from your glass, “I know all there is to know about guys like you, Pena…” your eyes slowly trailing down his body, “and I mean, all there is…” your finger reaches out, nail dragging itself down his chest from the left to the right before trailing lower. You finish your glass in one sip, never taking your eyes off him.

He takes a sharp inhale, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip. Your eyes immediately follow the shape of his lips. “Unless there’s something you think I still need to know…” words trailing off accepting the challenge he presented to you. He takes a step back, finishing the remainder of his glass and setting it down. In one swift motion, he grabs you, lips colliding with yours in a frenzied passion that overwhelms you.

A moan escaped your lips as he grabbed you and hoisted you up on the counter, his lips finding their way to your neck and not so gently nibbling at the sensitive skin below your ear. His fingers threading through your hair as he moved it aside to get better access to your neck.

“Javi, we -” you moan again as he bit down sharply, ignoring your protests.

“I know,” he whispers, taking your head in his hands. You both reach for each other’s clothes, desperately trying to get out of them.

“Javi….” you groan as he rips open your blouse, buttons flying in every direction.

“Bed,” he panted, picking you up and letting your thighs wrap around his waist. Your arms grasp around his neck and shoulders, clinging for life while your mouths never leave each other. He walks you blindly through his apartment like you’d assumed he’s done a thousand times before with however many women. But right here at this moment, you don’t care.

He kicked open the door and tossed you on the bed, stripping each other’s clothes in record time. Kisses planted on every inch of your body as he crawled over you. His hand snakes up over your chest as he takes each breast in his palms, squeezing and pulling them in just the right way.

“Jesus… could you be any more perfect?” he looks at you as he takes one in his mouth, tongue attacking the pebbled nipple, teeth ever so slightly scraping along the tip as he sucks and licks to a perfect peak.

You moan, legs spreading wider underneath him. Your hands find their way into his dark hair, weaving your fingers through it and giving a gentle tug to pull his mouth back up to you. He leaves this small trail of kisses up your chest, following the curve of your neck and chin, before claiming your mouth again. He whispers your name into your mouth and you swallow it whole, tongues mixed in pleasure.

You completely miss what he had asked over the sound of your own moaning. Sitting up, you look at him, eyes drunk with lust and whiskey, “wha?” is all you manage to get out.

“Can I? Fuck them?” he palms your breasts again, breathing heavily as he watches his hands knead them in slow circles. Clearly, he has a thing for the perky breasts that you hide so well beneath your shirt. All you can do is nod slowly, mouth slightly agape. You’d never done anything like this before, so your movements were clumsy as he turned you slightly over the edge of the bed to where your head was hanging off the edge.

You feel him spit into your cleavage before he unbuttons his pants, sliding them off to reveal the most exquisite cock you’d ever laid your eyes on. Eyes wide, you reach out and stroke him, seeing his knees buckle slightly at your touch.

“Fu-fuck…” he groaned, looking down to where your hand was stroking him. Your eyes were just able to look past where he was standing on either side of your head to see him as he leaned over you and slipped his cock into your cleavage.

“Hold your tits together, I want to feel them, baby…” he instructed, pushing them together with your hands in his. You hold them steady, kneading them ever so slightly as he slips his cock right in between them. His head drops forward and a loud sigh escapes from his mouth, eyes fluttering half-closed.

You imagine what this must feel like for him as he pumps his hips in and out of your tits, watching him from this angle is absolutely erotic, something you never thought would turn you on this much. What you weren’t expecting was the feeling of his hand to find its way between your thighs, slipping under the soft fabric and between the folds to find your sweet center.

His thick fingers found that small nub immediately, your core completely soaked with arousal that he didn’t even need to do much except take his hand and rub small circles. Your back arched as his fingers worked their magic, your chest pushing up into him as his hips flexed faster. Cock slapping against your chest, the sound echoing throughout his apartment.

You moan as he slips a finger deep into your tight hole, then a second, curling them to hit that sweet spot in a matter of seconds. How he was able to find it so quickly, you’d never know but at this point, you didn’t care. He was magic with those hands.

He pumped his fingers in and out to the rhythm of his hips, his balls slapping against your chest in tandem. You played with your breasts, massaging and kneading them in an attempt to massage his cock through them. The grunts he made just spurred you on, making your hips rise off the bed slightly and ride along with his hand.

Pretty soon, you could feel his balls clenching close to his body, the sign of his explosion coming to a head. And it was really perfect timing because he was so close to getting you to a full-body orgasm. You could feel the muscles clenching in your abdomen, like tethers ready to snap one after another.

Like a load under too much pressure, you did just that - you snap. An explosion of color erupts from your cunt, liquid flowing from you and down his hand as he swears and finally bursts over your chest, showering you with his own evidence.

You both lay there, spent and completely useless, bodies sweaty and sticky. Eventually, Javi does get you something to clean yourself with, tossing it at your side. You manage to clean yourself and start to gather your clothes but as you sit up, you feel the bed dip and his arms snake around your waist, pulling you into his side.

Drunkenly, you hear him whisper your name, “sshhh… just stay for tonight…” and who are you to deny him? After all, he did just give you the greatest orgasm you’ve had since you arrived in Colombia.

#kinktober2021 #kinktober #fictober #javier peña x reader #javier peña #narcos #pascal-istheway #kinktober day 1

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luviedovey · 4 years

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the you i fell in love with

connor murphy x female!reader

a/n: not me writing a fic about mike faist’s connor murphy 2 years after he left the show...... also Connor is probably ooc

summary: you were Connor’s girlfriend who lived in the next town over, a little over a half hour away. his family didn’t know about you, no one did. he didn’t want his family or anyone he knew to scare you away. in the end, it didn’t really matter. he was gone. when the Connor Project came to be and Evan resigned from being co-president, you ran into him. you questioned him about his “friendship” with Connor and he told you everything.

set after the Murphy’s find out the truth and before the Evan/Zoe reunion at the orchard.

second person pov

warning: a few swear words, also very brief mention of depression and taking your own life, and Larry Murphy kind of being a dick

word count: 5,573

______

“Who are you exactly?” Evan questioned the girl who pulled him off to the side of the supermarket where no one else was around. To say he was a little nervous would be an understatement, he was freaking out on the inside.

“I’m so sorry! I probably scared you half to death dragging you along like that.. I just have some questions for you, if you don’t mind answering..?” You smiled at him sheepishly. Something about your awkward smile eased his mind a bit, but not enough. “No, sorry my mom actually is waiting for me by the-” “It’s about Connor!” You interrupted, looking at him through sad, heartbroken eyes. “..Please. Evan Hansen. I know you weren’t really friends with him. I know you weren’t even secret friends with him.. Because if you were, I would’ve known.”

Evan looked around before looking back at you, confused. “Who are you?” He asked for the second time. “I’m- I was Connor’s girlfriend. Y/N L/N. I met him 2 years ago at the apple orchard you guys rebuilt? We both went there because we thought that no one else would be there and that it would be the perfect place to escape. His family and classmates never knew about me because he-” you laugh slightly,” he was afraid they would take me away from him. Or that his family would fight in front of me and he’d lose his cool or that his sister would say nasty things about him to ‘spare me from being in a relationship with him’ or even that the bullies at his school would turn me against him even though he knew damn well I could never.” You stopped rambling and passed him a Polaroid picture of the two of you, sitting against the chain link fence that surrounded the old abandoned apple orchard. You were looking up at Connor with heart eyes as he smiled back down at you. A real smile. This was the real Connor Murphy.

Evan looked up from the picture at you, shocked before quickly returning it to you. “Oh my god... You must think I’m such a h- horrible person for doing all this and pretending to be best friends with your- your dead boyfriend- I’m so sorry for your loss by the way- and making up all these stories about things we never really did and starting a whole online campaign about-” “Evan!” He stopped ranting, breathing heavily. “Breathe, okay? In through your nose, out through your mouth. Relax.”

It was silent for a moment before Evan mumbled a quiet, “Thank you.”

You smiled knowingly. “Now. Mind telling me everything?”

The two of you sat in your old beat up truck, as Evan told you everything. And by everything i mean everything. He started from the very beginning, “My dad left when I was 7 so now it’s just me and my mom. She works all the time at the hospital to support us and to pay for her education- she’s studying to be a paralegal- and so I’m usually home alone. I have anxiety so I take medication and go to therapy where I have to write a letter to myself hyping myself up for the day and trying to be positive and stuff-” “’Dear Evan Hansen’...”

He looked up from his hands at you, “Yeah.. Connor had one of my letters when he- um.. he took it from me earlier that day..” “It was your therapy letter? Why did he take it from you?” “Oh! You see he didn’t actually know it was a letter to myself for therapy he just thought I was being creepy and writing about his sister in a letter to print it out where he would find it and freak out and explode or something- That wasn’t why though, I didn’t even know he was in the room with me, I thought I was alone. He signed my cast before he read my letter, though. He said, ‘Now we both can pretend we have friends.’ Which is why I thought doing what I did would be okay but it wasn’t and it never will be and I really shouldn’t justify my actions because it was-” “Evan breathe.” “Right, sorry.” “Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” “Okay sor-” You gave him a pointed look.

“O-okay...” You giggled slightly, looking out of the window at the supermarket parking lot, “So.. he ran out with your letter, pissed because he thought you were fucking with him... And then he killed himself.” “Yeah.”

“So what happened after that?” “The Murphy’s showed up in the principal’s office three days later. I knew something was wrong because Connor and Zoe both weren’t in school and I know Connor skips but it’s not likely that they would both be out on the same days. Zoe doesn’t really skip school- she’s not that kind of person.” You nodded, gesturing to get to the point. “Right, they called me into the office because Connor had my letter and my name was on it so they thought the letter was for me. I tried to tell them it wasn’t- that I was the one who wrote it, but they were in denial. They kept reading parts of my letter back to me from memory, trying to make sense of it but I couldn’t tell them- I couldn’t get through to them....” He sighed.

“They invited me over to dinner and I went because I wanted to set the record straight but when I got there, they wanted to hear everything I knew about Connor. But I didn’t know anything, so whenever they brought something up I just nodded and agreed. Zoe was getting suspicious so I started to make things up. ‘Connor loved to talk about how much he hated skiing.’ ‘Connor took us to A La Mode and we ate our ice cream in the apple orchard where we climbed trees and raced across the open fields.’ ‘We would quote songs by our favorite bands.’ ‘We’d tell jokes no one else would understand.’ All lies. And they believed them. They wanted me to keep talking, they needed me to. They were broken and I just wanted to help them. I told them that we were friends on the internet where we’d email each other to talk about our day and stuff. And Connor would use a secret email account because he knew his dad was checking his regular email, and he didn’t want anyone to know we were friends.... Now that I think about it, this kind of sounds like your story.” You laughed, lightening the mood, and nodded.

“You know, you really aren’t that far off from who Connor was, despite the fact that you were making it up as you went. He wasn’t the monster that everyone thought he was. I mean sure in 2nd grade he pushed over a printer because he had a little tantrum about being skipped for line leader, but what kid doesn’t have a tantrum at least once in their life? It definitely didn’t help that all those kids grew up, making the story sound worse than it really was. He was always angry and stand-offish because everyone in his life would say shit about him that wasn’t true or be nice to him to get close enough to learn something new about him and then turn around and make fun of him for it. He was battling depression and needed help but his family didn’t want to believe there was anything actually wrong with him. I was the only one to believe him. To believe in him. But I’m just one person, and I guess that wasn’t enough..” You trailed off. Evan awkwardly put a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb as a way to console you.

It was silent for a moment. “I think he would’ve liked you. It would’ve taken him a while to warm up to you, but I really do think the two of you could’ve been friends.” Evan smiled slightly, before frowning. “I pretended to be his friend for so long, but Alana- she’s the co-president of the Connor Project- started getting suspicious about our friendship, saying that the letters didn’t make sense because it sounded like Connor was getting better so I showed her Connor’s ‘suicide note’-” “Dear Evan Hansen, It turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Because, why would it be?”

“...Yeah. She believed me too. I told her not to show anyone because it was a really private thing, but she just said that was exactly what people needed to see. She posted it and people on the internet started to attack the Murphy’s, saying things like ‘They’re a rich family who couldn’t bother to pay for their son to get help?’ and ‘I’m not saying to do anything illegal but their house is the pale yellow house at the end of the cul de sac with a red door.’” Your hand flew to your mouth in shock. “They even leaked Zoe’s phone number and their house phone! Everything was just spiraling out of control and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and the only thing I could think of to do was just.. them the truth. So I did and I told them everything. I wrote the letter, Connor took it from me, we weren’t really friends, and it was all a lie. I haven’t spoken to the Murphy’s since.” He fiddled with his hands in his lap and sighed. “And.. I’m scared. Scared that one day I’ll go to school and everyone will hate me or that the Murphy’s will ruin my life.. Not that I don’t deserve it, after what I did? I deserve worse.”

“Evan.. No one deserves that, especially not you. What you did wasn’t exactly the right thing to do but you had the best intentions.” He nodded silently, “What did you want to ask me earlier anyways?”

You turned, facing down at the wheel in front of you. “I wanted to ask you if you knew where he was buried.”, a tear slipped from your eye as you sighed, smiling sadly, “I didn’t exactly get to say goodbye..” “I could go with you if you’d like. To show you the way?”

“Thank you, Evan.”

___

During the ride to the cemetery, You and Evan talked, trying to lighten the mood, and quickly became best friends. The two of you didn't have so much in common but you were both very comfortable and supportive of each other. You were like the siblings neither of you had.

The two of you stepped out of the truck, and begun walking to Connor’s grave. “Oh! Hold on..” You turn back, grabbing a beautiful bouquet of red roses and pink tulips, with a small white card that said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you enough when you needed it, Connor. I will never forget you, mon amour. I love you, always.” Connor didn’t have a specific favorite flower but he did appreciate their meanings. Roses represent love, and tulips represent a declaration of love. You hoped that even though he was gone he would still appreciate the thought you put into it.

The two of you walked up to his grave. It was at this moment when it hit you that he was really gone forever. You dropped to your knees, carefully placing down the flowers. Tears streaming as you silently sobbed, Evan’s hand on your left shoulder and the ghost of Connor’s hand on your right.

“I’m sorry, Connor. I love you more than you’ll ever know..”

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, before agreeing to leave in case the Murphy’s decided to visit. Neither of you really wanted to run into them and have to explain who you were and why you were there. “Do you want to come over to my house? You look emotionally exhausted.” You laughed and nodded, starting up the car.

___

“Why didn’t you come to town sooner?” You sighed, “I just.. I didn’t want to believe that he was really gone, you know? And coming here, seeing his grave, and his grieving family just confirmed what I prayed wasn’t true.” You sipped on the hot chocolate in your hands, staring out of the window at the pouring rain and cloudy night sky. “Have you met them yet?” Evan mumbled, typing on his laptop on the couch beside you. He pulled up the Connor Project and read about all the many different things Alana was doing. “No.. But I feel like I should? Like I know things about Connor that would give them closure but I can’t bring myself to go over and talk to them.”

“If only there was a way for you to show them what Connor was really like so you wouldn’t have to talk to them...” It was silent for a moment, “Actually... Connor and I used to write each other handwritten letters and take a lot of pictures together..” “Well what are the odds..” he giggled, “Maybe you could give those to them? The ones that aren’t super personal?” You sat together deeply in thought.

“But I can’t exactly bring myself to just give them away... Maybe I could copy them and white out all the personal stuff? Like the things between me and Connor only, and my face and name?” Evan nodded, agreeing that that would be the best option. You’d create a box filled with things Connor wrote and pictures of when he was truly happy, then leave it on the Murphy’s doorstep. It was a safe, no-contact interaction.

___

The next night, you went over to Evan’s house with the box labeled “The Real Connor Murphy. (i’m so sorry for your loss.. i thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.)” Evan gave you directions to the Murphy household. Eventually, you parked in front of the pale yellow house, all three cars were in the driveway. “You better be quick if you don’t want anyone to see you.. Just.. keep the car running, drop off the box, ring the doorbell, and book it back here and drive off. Don’t turn back.” “Okay super spy.” You laughed nervously.

You walked up to the door, placing the box neatly on the ground with a single rose and tulip tapped on the top, rang the doorbell, and ran off. You jumped into the car and drove off just as Evan, who was previously hiding away from the car window, saw the red front door begin to open.

___

“Larry!” Cynthia Murphy exclaimed, picking up the box from the front porch to the dinner table, placing it beside the small card they had found on a mysterious bouquet of flowers they found the day before against Connor’s gravestone. “What is that?” He asked, looking at it with disinterest. “I found it on the porch, it says ‘The Real Connor Murphy. I’m so sorry for your loss.. I thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.’ It’s in the same handwriting as the note we found on that bouquet of flowers. It even has the same two flowers! It has to be the same person. Someone who really loved him...” “What’s inside?” Zoe asked while reading and rereading the small card.

Cynthia opened the box to find handwritten letters from Connor and a mystery girl, photos of Connor laughing, smiling, pouting, hugging and kissing someone with a scratched out face. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. This was the real Connor, a whole different version of him that the three were completely unaware of. Seeing him like this was just so unfamiliar to them, they couldn’t believe their eyes for a moment. Zoe picked up a letter, reading it aloud,

“Dear Y/N

Things haven’t been going so well lately, my parents are always fighting, my mom pretends like there’s nothing wrong, my dad doesn’t pay attention to anyone but himself anymore, and Zoe hates me.

Not that I blame her, I hate myself too. But I don’t hate myself when I’m around you. I’m so glad to have you around. You make life just a little easier every day.

It’s harder when you’re not around, I get angry easier when I get bullied at school or when Zoe says something awful about me. I just feel like I’m an airplane about to crash, but with you around I feel like I’m flying. Smooth sailing. Floating even. You are the most perfect girl I’ve ever met.

Thank you. I love you.

Sincerely, Con”

“He.. he had a girlfriend..?” She said, in shock. The three began to shuffle through the letters, photos, and little post-it notes, putting them in piles. “These are all copied..” “Maybe whoever left them didn’t want to give the originals away..?” “Maybe because she still cares about and loves him and didn’t want to give these away. They seem so.. personal.” Cynthia picked up a post-it note,

“Tu es belle Y/N, je t'adore.”

“What does that even mean?” Zoe pulled out her phone going straight to google translate, “It’s says ‘you are beautiful, i adore you.’.. I didn’t know Connor knew french.” “He never took a class for it. Maybe he learned it on his own?” Larry picked up a photo this time, Connor was standing in front of the apple orchard’s rotting old sign in the middle of the field, fake pouting and wearing a thin little flower crown you had made him. “I didn’t know Connor had any feelings other than anger.” Cynthia hit his arm. “Wait,” Zoe said, grabbing the attention of her bickering parents, “This letter has a picture and a post-it note attached to it.”

“Dear Con,

Thank you for the painting, it’s absolutely beautiful. You are so so talented. The way you put so much thought into every detail is truly admirable. You make everything you paint so exciting and captivating, even if the thing you’re painting isn’t very exciting at all. You see the beauty in the things that most people never give a second glance.

It kind of reminds me of the way I look at you.

To most people that don’t know you, you are a “freak” or “school shooter chic”. But, when I look at you, you are none of those things. You are beautiful, you are captivating, you are perfectly imperfect. You are worth it. Don’t give up on me darlin’.

I love you.

Sincerely, Y/N/N”

Attached to the letter was a photo of the painting mentioned. It was a painting of your beaten old navy blue truck parked beside a chain link fence that blocked it off from the open field. In the background, the sun was setting in a perfect blend of yellows, oranges, and reds. It was so detailed that if you weren’t already aware that it was a painting, you would’ve probably thought it was a photo taken from a fancy camera. “It really is beautiful..” Cynthia trailed off, wiping a stray tear that fell from her eye, “He was so talented. I didn’t even know he liked to paint! I mean I knew he took an art class but because he skipped school so much, I never even thought he went..”

“I guess we really didn’t know Connor at all..” Zoe begun to get angry, “What kind of family does that?! I mean we lived with him, I grew up with him, you two raised him, and we still didn’t even know who he was?! This.. this stranger even knew more about him than we did! Do you realize how sad this is? We have to learn about our dead family member from a complete stranger because when he was alive, we were too busy pretending like he was just acting out for attention instead of actually needing help! He needed help and we didn’t give it to him! It’s not like we couldn’t afford to take him to therapy! We just pretended like he was a monster and if we ignored him, he would stop..” She took a deep breath, “Maybe we were the monsters and his anger and tantrums were his cries for help...” “Zoe..” Cynthia reached for her arm but she pulled away, running up to her room while choking back tears. “..She’s right.”

The two were quiet for a long period of time, reading and rereading every letter and every note, memorizing every photo.

Cynthia held up a photo of Connor and a girl, whose face was completely scratched out, “Who are you..”

___

The next day was a particularly warm day so you and Evan drove over to A La Mode as a victory ice cream run of sorts. You really believed in treating yourself after small, seemingly insignificant, victories such as dropping off a box of precious letters to a grieving family. They needed closure, and you were willing to give it them. Evan, despite talking about A La Mode with the Murphy’s before, had never actually been. You two talked and ate your ice cream sitting in the back of your truck, looking out at the orchard across the street. The orchard was renamed the “Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard”, which made your heart a little heavy. Another reminder that he was really gone.

In the distance, on the other side of the fence sat the Murphy’s who were packing up from their weekly picnic. As they got up to walk out of the orchard, Zoe looked across the street. “Wait a minute..” Her parents stopped walking. “What is it Zoe?” Larry asked. She pointed at the car parked across the street, “Isn’t that the car that Connor painted his girlfriend in that letter? And Evan?” They looked across the street to find the same navy blue truck and a familiar face.

Evan paled, “The Murphy’s are looking at us!” he whisper-shouted. You began to turn around, but Evan stopped you. “No don’t look!” Your head whipped back to him as your face paled, “They recognized my car..” “How could they? It was night time when you dropped off the box and the door barely begun to open as you drove away..”

You smiled sheepishly, “I may or may not have given them a picture of a painting Connor made me of my truck parked beside that exact fence...” Evan facepalmed and gave you a deadpanned look. “Well they’re starting to walk across the street now.”

You shot up, “Let’s go.” “I mean would it be so bad to meet his parents?” Evan asked as the two of you scrambled into the front seats. “I’m just.. I’m not ready to have that conversation just yet.” You reversed out of the parking spot and drove back onto the road.

“Wait!” The Murphy’s shouted to the car as it begun to drive off. “There was a girl driving. Maybe that was her?” Cynthia asked, hopefulness clear in her voice. “She was with Evan, do you think the box of letters were fake?” Larry, always the optimist. “They couldn’t be, they were handwritten in Connor’s handwriting. Even the french notes.”

Zoe thought for a moment, “Well if we’re going to find her, we should probably start with Evan’s place first.” “Who said we were going to look for her?” Larry asked, “I’m not wasting my time on a wild goose chase. She’s already shown us enough about Connor.”

Cynthia turned to her husband, “How could you say that? She could be the one thing to bring us closer to our son. Our son who took his own life because he felt that that was the only path left for him. And you don’t want to try to find her? Find closure? Honestly Larry, what is wrong with you lately!” “I’m sorry. We’ll find her.”

___

The Murphy’s found themselves at the Hansen household. They knew you were there. After all, your truck was parked in the driveway. Inside were you, Heidi, and Evan. You had just met Heidi, but she loved you. She was thrilled to find that Evan had made a friend like you. You hung out with Evan even after learning he lied about being friends with your recently deceased boyfriend, and helped him when he started to rant and breathe heavy about it. You were so kind-hearted, forgiving, and calm by nature, that he was finally comfortable around someone. You were quickly best friends.

A knock at the door startled the three of you. “Are you guys expecting anyone?”, Heidi stood up to get the door as you and Evan turned to each other. He placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you. “I suppose now’s a good time as ever, even though I really only had 24 hours to prepare myself..” You muttered, the two of you walking towards the front door.

The Murphy’s stopped and stared at you. “Are you.. Were you Connor’s girlfriend?” Cynthia asked. You nodded slightly, rubbing your arm as a nervous habit. “I’m Cynthia, this is Larry and Zoe.. We’re Connor’s family.” “I know.”

Heidi invited them in, everyone heading to the living room. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.. We just wanted to thank you for all the letters and photos of Connor. It feels like we’re finally getting to know who he really was on the inside.” You looked up from your lap, “No offense ma’am, but shouldn’t you have gotten to know your own son when he was still around?”

Zoe laughed, awkward and uncomfortable. “I really don’t think that’s funny.. especially considering you didn’t bother to get to know him either.” You said getting defensive, sticking up for Connor. Even if he was gone, you would never stop fighting for him. You did truly love him after all. “And before you say ‘Connor wasn’t easy to talk to. He would always yell and storm off.’, just think about the fact that having a relationship with someone is a two way street. You can’t expect someone to make an effort if you don’t try to do the same.”

The three looked at her in shock. Heidi and Evan smiling sheepishly in the background. “I..”, Larry started, but trailed off, not being able to come up with a proper response. Cynthia and Zoe looked deep in thought, unable to do the same.

It was quiet for a long amount of time.

“You’re right. You’re right and I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. And the only thing we could do now is learn from our mistakes. We don’t exactly know how we’re going to do that but we’re willing to try. And we’re hoping that you could help us? Help us figure out what to do and help us learn about who Connor was?” Zoe finally spoke up, her parents nodding along in agreement.

You were trying to heal from everything that happened and them putting all their hope on you wasn’t really helping. But maybe grieving together would allow everyone to heal and remember him in a more positive way? At least you hoped.

There’s a lot of hope pinned on others here.

“I suppose helping you all would let us heal.. together?” You said, slightly questioning your own words, turning toward Evan. He shrugged, giving you a thumbs-up. “But I don’t feel comfortable talking about Connor unless Evan is around.” You paused, “It’d be nice to have a familiar face around and we’re practically best friends now.. so..” “Yes of course.” The three stood up, walking to the front door, “We’ll come back here at 11AM tomorrow and drive to the orchard for a picnic if that’s alright with the two of you?” You and Evan nodded simultaneously. “Are you allergic to anything dear?”

With the shake of your head and a quick goodbye from Evan and Heidi, the Murphy’s were off.

“Am I doing the right thing here? Connor didn’t even want his family to known I existed! And now we’re going on a picnic with them? Where I have to talk about him?” You sat down, head in your hands as a headache begun to grow. Heidi placed her hand on your shoulder gently, “It’s going to be tough right now, and it’s going to be emotionally draining, I’m sure. But, if you really think that they deserve to know who he really was, that how they perceive him is wrong, then I think you are doing the right thing. You’re helping them, you’re helping yourself, and you’re helping Connor. You did say that he wanted to change the way people saw him. And you’d be doing that for him, even if he’s not physically around to see it happen.”

“Thank you, Heidi.”

___

“It’s really nice of you to agree to meet us here, Y/N. And Evan, it’s nice to have you here too.” Cynthia smiled, putting down a blanket for the picnic. Everyone sat down in an awkward silence.

“So... is.. is there anything you wanted to know that wasn’t already in the letters?” You asked, picking at the blades of grass beside you. Evan slapped your hand away from the grass, silently scolding you in true forest ranger fashion for messing with nature. The Murphy’s turned to each other, silently debating what to say and who would say it. No surprise to you and Evan that the one to speak up was Cynthia. The past couple of hours really showed that she was the only one who seemed to care, at least a little bit, about Connor when he was around, though Zoe and Larry were trying their best now.

“Why didn’t Connor bring you around to meet the family? It really seemed like you brought so much light to his life. I mean, you brought out parts of him that we didn’t even know existed!” “We thought he was a monster...” Zoe muttered sadly.

Your heart ached for this family, they really knew nothing about him.. “Connor didn’t bring me around because he was afraid you’d all ‘scare me off’,” you laughed slightly, “And Connor may have been a monster to you, but the real Connor was never a monster, to me or to anyone in my small town. In the next town over, no one knew who Connor was or what he’d done in the past. It was like a fresh start. Which I knew he desperately needed. I mean, with all the people bullying him, hurting him physically or emotionally or both, and spreading fake rumors about him since he was in the second grade? He was angry and hurting and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he would lash out. But wouldn’t you react the same way? Build up walls so people wouldn’t hurt you? Isolate yourself so people couldn’t get close enough to?”

It went silent again, the only sound was the wind blowing in the summer breeze and the trees rustling in the background.

“She’s right.”

Everyone looked up, faces showing some form of shock. Larry continued, “All that stuff was going on in school and we made it worse for him at home. He asked us for help and we always assumed he was doing for attention. No matter how hard we tried to be a perfect family, we never were and we probably never will be.”

Zoe wiped away a stray tear. “Even though you couldn’t save your kid, maybe there’s a way you could save someone else’s?” He turned to you with a questioning glance. “I mean you have to admit, you’re a pretty wealthy family, maybe you can spend some time donating to suicide prevention hotlines and foundations that were created specifically to help those who are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts like Connor was? I know for a fact that Connor hated the way that he felt, and would never want anyone to go through what he’d been going through, no matter how much of an asshole they were.”

Cynthia reached over to you, placing a hand on your knee, smiling as tears fell freely from her face, from all of their faces. “That’s a brilliant idea, Y/N.”

___

The picnic went on as you told them stories of your’s and Connor’s adventures together. Jumping over the fence to lay around in the yellow fields of the old orchard, helping your mom arrange flowers in her flower shop (he would always make sure his bouquets were well thought out in their meaning), buying junk food and snacks when having movie marathons on a Saturday night, sketching and painting moments together so you two would never forget them.

With each little story, his family knew more about him and you felt as close to him as you had been before that heart-wrenching summer day.

You fell behind from the group as you all walked out of the orchard. Turning back and taking one last look at the entrance, the fields, and the growing trees of the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard, you notice a figure dressed in black standing with his back against the fence. He gave you a smile, a genuine yet sad smile, mouthing the words “thank you” and “i love you”, before disappearing in the wind.

#connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #deh #dear evan hansen #mike faist #broadway #dear evan hansen x reader

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beccathebiscuitbaker · 3 years

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All five of them were rushed outside by their parents, Zoe included. They spent half an hour taking photos. Cynthia had staked claim of a spot with good lighting and looked ready to fight anyone who tried to take it away from them. Everyone got individual photos, the Murphy siblings, Evan and Jared, Alana and Jared, all the boys, Zoe and Alana, Connor and Evan, Zoe and Evan, varying arrangement of parents, and finally a group photo of just the kids.

—My Love is Like to Ice, chapter eight

#dear evan hansen #deh #evan hansen #zoe murphy #connor murphy #jared kleinman #treebros #alana beck #galaxy gals

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live-laugh-lesbian80083 · 3 years

Text

Jazz Band Jazz

Summary: Evan heads over to his girlfriend, Zoe’s house to hang out. Zoe teaches him how to play guitar and things get a little spicy

Word count: 1,526

Warnings: gets a little smutty, swearing

Requested: nope

Please do NOT copy, rewrite, or translate onto another site. Permission will not be given if asked for it.

—

Zoe was peacefully strumming her guitar while playing one of her favorite songs, Unruly Heart from The Prom. It was one of the first songs she ever learned on her guitar. It may have taken her months of practice but once it was perfected, she sounded like an Angel. She was quietly humming the lyrics to herself when the doorbell rang. She carefully tossed her guitar onto her bed before jumping up and throwing open her bedroom door to see Connor already opening it.

"Zoe! Your boy to-" Connor started "Didn't know you were standing there. Evan's here"

"I can see that." Zoe commented as she sped down the stairs to greet Evan. Once she finally met with Evan, she greeted him with a warm embrace and a kiss on the cheek "hi babe."

"Hey babe." Evan replied, the couple earning a gagging noise from Connor.

"Let's go up to my room. Shall we?" Zoe asked, sticking her arm out for Evan to take.

"We shall." Evan said, linking arms with his girlfriend.

They made their way up the stairs, laughing at each other's clumsiness along the way. Zoe led Evan down a short hallway and into her bedroom. She then shut the door and noticed Evan eyeing her guitar. She smiled to herself and snuck up behind him, throwing her arms around his waist.

"Whatcha lookin at?" She questioned innocently.

"Your guitar." He replied, not taking his eyes off the wooden masterpiece before him.

"Want me to teach you how to play it? It's really not that hard." Zoe said, releasing Evan and jumping onto her bed and taking the guitar into her lap.

"I- I mean I'd love to but I've never even touched a guitar before." Evan commented, watching Zoe as she placed her fingers onto the strings

"Come on. It's so easy! Just try it." Zoe insisted.

"Alright fine. But if I make your ears bleed, that's on you." Evan commented, taking the guitar from Zoe.

"Only Jared could do that." She snickered

"True that." Evan replied, making a face which caused Zoe to burst out into a fit of laughter.

Zoe's laugh is what keeps Evan in check. It sounds like pure sunlight and sweet milk chocolate. It has the ability to make anyone in the room smile. It's contagious. But the person who catches the joy first is always Evan. Once he hears the start of her laugh, he immediately breaks out into a place of pure joy. His heart warms up to the perfect temperature, making him become overwhelmed with a warm fuzzy feeling. Then his smile breaks through. It's soft and welcoming, something anyone could get used to. Evan's smile is what keeps Zoe on her toes. It's bright and warm and something that takes effort to get out. But once you earn the right to see his true and genuine smile, it changes you. It makes you think about the good things in life. The things that matter. All of your worries melt away and you for once focus on right then and there.

Zoe proceeded to teach Evan the basics of guitar. He quickly got the hang of it, finding it was similar to typing on a keyboard. His fingers moved swiftly along the frets and strings. After thirty minutes of learning chords, Zoe showed him how to play one of his favorite songs, Birds by Thomas Sanders Feat. Terrence William Jr. He pushed through the pain coursing through his fingertips because of holding the strings. After forcing himself to finish the song for an hour or so, he finished the song. During his last run through of the song, Zoe snuck a quick video of him. She smirked to herself as she posted it onto her social media and sent it to him. He got the notification and looked up at his girlfriend, trying to pull his smile back.

"Why are you looking at me like that." Zoe commented, smirking but hiding it with her hands

"What do you mean?" Evan asked

"You looking at me funny." She chuckled

"Am not!" He exclaimed, taking the guitar off his lap and putting it to the side

"Are too!" Zoe giggled

Evan scowled playfully and stood up, turning his back on Zoe. That was a mistake. She pounced onto his back, attacking him with tickles. He fell onto the floor in a fit of laughter, begging Zoe to stop. She didn't. That was also a mistake. Once he got a hold of himself. He flipped the two of them over so he sat over her (Oh god this sounds sexual. I swear it's not lol.) and watched her facial expression go from beaming with joy to perplexed with his actions. He pinned her arms down so she can't attack him any further and smirked. Evan then leaned down and passionately kissed Zoe. She melted into the kiss. Evan's never kissed her like that before. Where did all this dominance come from?

All of the sudden, they hear Zoe's door swing open. The couple snaps their gazes to the door to lay their eyes on Connor. Both their faces were overcome with a deep red as they quickly scampered away from each other. Connor found himself smirking at the sight. His little sister was making out with his best friend. And he walked in on them. Both of them are embarrassed beyond belief, trying to think of a way to cover the situation.

"Connor, it's not what it looks like." Zoe called out.

"Oh it's exactly what it looks like." Connor smirked.

"I swear it's not." Zoe defended.

"It totally is. I'm gonna go tell Cynthia and Larry!" Connor yelled "Cynthiaaaaaa!"

Zoe ran over to Connor and slapped her hands onto his mouth while Evan just sat on the floor trying not to freak out. What the hell just happened? He just went full dom on Zoe. Because of a goddamn tickle fight! But why is he getting riled up over a dom moment you ask? No idea. He's just never done it before and it's something he never saw himself doing.

"You keep your mouth shut Connor." Zoe snared.

"And if I don't?" Connor questioned through Zoe's hand.

"I'll tell mom and dad about your Newsies obsession." Zoe threatened.

"Alright! Fine! Now let me out of this sex hole!" Connor agreed.

"It's not a sex hole!" Zoe exclaimed.

"Wait, since when have you liked Newsies?" Evan asked curiously.

"For fucks sake-" Connor swore, running his fingers through his dark hair.

"I caught him dancing to seize the day once." Zoe snickered, enjoying making her older brother embarrassed for it rarely ever happens.

"You dance?" Evan questioned

~Flashback brought to you by The Most Amazing Trees~

As Zoe came home from school one day, she heard a soft beat flowing through the house. Curiously, she followed the sound throughout the whole house. It led her to the basement door. She carefully opened it, trying to not stop whatever she was about to interrupt. Zoe silently made her way down the steep set of stairs, trying to figure out the source of the music. Connor's supposed to be home by now. So is Cynthia. Maybe it's one of them. No, this seems way too theatrical for it to be either of them. Who could it be?

As she reached the edge of the stairs, she recognized the music. It's Newsies The Musical. Okay. Now this is really weird. Zoe's the only one who listens to Newsies in the Murphy household. Did she accidentally leave her speaker on when she left the house this morning? Well, we're about to find out. She continued to follow the sound till she heard a large thud. She whipped back around the corner and hid behind a wall. The music continued. No more thudding. After waiting for a moment, she continued the journey to find the culprit of the music.

Once it felt safe, she fully turned the corner once again, to find Connor jumping around the hardwood floors. She immediately broke into a fit of hysterical laughter. Seeing her older brother in all of his angsty teenager glory prancing around the basement while listening to Newsies is something she never expected to see in her lifetime. Connor froze after hearing Zoe's laugh as his face turned beat red. His fists clenched into tight balls as he turned to face his very amused younger sibling.

"What the fuck are you doing here." Connor yelled.

"I-I heard music coming from the basement so I investigated." Zoe stuttered.

"You did your stupid little investigation. Now he the hell out!" Connor exclaimed, sending Zoe scrambling back up the stairs.

~Flashback Over~

"Do you still remember the choreography?" Evan questioned.

"Oh my god-" Connor exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air while storming out of Zoe's room.

There was a moment of silence before the couple bursted out into a hysterical fit of laughter. God, isn't Connor just the best?

#dear evan hansen #zoe murphy #evan hansen #zoevan #deh fanfic #dear Evan Hansen fanfic #jazz band jazz #dear evan hansen x reader

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fundielicious-simblr · 3 years

Note

23 for your original couple- Laurent and Zoe! 24 for Adalyn- you pick the question!

[23] Walk me through the love story of [insert fundie couple]. When and how did they meet? What were their courtship, engagement, and wedding like? How are they doing now?

Wow, the 2 weirdos that started it all. I'm going to try and see if I can merge 1st and 3rd person for this. This is actually a great question because I'd been thinking about fleshing out their love story for some time now, and this is the perfect chance to do it! I can already tell this is going to be long, so I'll put the rest under the cut! Question 24 will also be under here, and will probably be an essay too, this also took basically 24 hours to complete because exams combined with time zones aren’t my friends 😂

[23] Walk me through the love story of [insert fundie couple]. When and how did they meet? What were their courtship, engagement, and wedding like? How are they doing now?

To set the scene, think of an era that's similar to the 70s/80s in terms of culture and society. The sims universe was slightly more conservative except for worlds like San Myshuno and Del Sol Valley, similar to how the real world worked. In my head, Laurent and Zoe both grew up in another 'town' and moved to Newcrest when they got married (because I mix towns/cities from the Sims 2 and 3 game to add variety and location - so think of a small conservative town)

I'm going to do it in the style of my Love Day Love Story series, so it'll cover how they grew up + courted then how they handled marriage and children.

Let's start with Laurent -

[Laurent] I grew up in a christian home, my father was a preacher at our local church and my mother raised my older sister Holly and I at home with conservative biblical standards. We were taught that courting was the best way to maintain purity between us and the Lord, and so that's what we aimed for. When I finished school at the local high school (the church board ran the high school, so it was christian based learning all the way through) my parents told me that they were praying that I find someone, with my mother telling me that she prayed for a girl in our congregation called Zoe Murphy. I knew Zoe as I was friends with her older brothers, but had never thought to consider her as wife material. I graduated in the same grade as her older brother and we were both working at the same office; and she was around 2 grades below us. After some prayer, my parents and I approached hers on the matter of courtship, and they accepted. To preserve purity for the both of us, we decided that we'd not hold hands unless we got married. After courting for around 5 months we got engaged, I proposed at the lake that passed behind her house, and 4 months later we were married. We first had physical contact at the altar - first held hands, hugged, and kissed - just like we wanted.

[Zoe] I also grew up in a very conservative christian home. I'm the 3rd of 7 children, and my father co-owned a local business whilst my mother was a homemaker. Since the school in our town essentially ran on a christian curriculum, we all went to public school. The girls got homemaking classes whilst the boys had options like woodworking and mechanics as optional courses as a replacement for gym class. We’d always been taught that purity is of the utmost importance, and that as women we were in charge of how men perceive us and that we must do everything we could not to stumble them. My mother taught my sisters and I that we must make it our aim to live pure lives, so when I realised that I’d developed a crush on Laurent, I immediately told my mother so that we could pray about it together. I was in my final year of highschool when Laurent approached my parents about a courtship, since my mother already knew how I felt she encouraged my dad to accept. I was so happy when she told me, but could only celebrate with my sisters at night so that people wouldn’t get the wrong message. Courtship was great, he’d come over and we’d chat on our front porch with my parents as chaperones, sometimes I’d head over to his house with one of my sisters and his parents would act as chaperones whilst we talked there too. The proposal came a few months before graduation, and engagement is such a magical period, getting to shop for fabric to make my wedding dress, and planning for the future with the love of my life is something I’ll treasure everyday of my life. Laurent told me that he’d been offered a job in Newcrest that he’d be starting right after we got married, so I was excitedly running around arranging things that needed to be shipped to our new house when we moved as well as planning the wedding. Since we’d decided to save all physical touch for the altar, all I could do was pray and wait for the wedding day. We’d planned it so that the wedding happened after high school graduation, so I was finishing up school work whilst doing all the wedding prep. The night before the wedding my mother sat me down and took me through the *intimate* details on what it means to be a married woman. I had some basic ideas prior to her explanations, but the chat I had with her was the confirmation of everything that they’d raised me for - that I’d be a homemaker and having as many children as the Lord wanted for me. The wedding was magical, it was in our church filled with all our friends and family, with Laurent’s father doing the ceremony and my father doing the charge. Walking down the aisle to my new life and getting to hold Laurent’s hand for the first time as we were joined together for life was a surreal moment that I’d been praying for since I was a little girl. That first kiss was the most beautiful thing I’d ever experienced until that point, it felt like my perfect fairytale moment.

Here’s a wedding picture!

After the wedding, Laurent (20) and Zoe (18) moved to Newcrest and immediately worked to start a family. They committed to the idea of having as many children as God gave them, and 10 months after they married they had their first son Allan. Zoe was 20 when she gave birth to Branden 16 months years later, she was 21 when they had twins Clare and Danielle, 24 when Elaine was born, 27 when Fletcher was born, and 30 when they had Grayson and Harley. After the birth of Grayson and Harley there were complications that meant that they couldn’t have any more children, so the couple cherished the 8 children they had. Laurent cultivated a successful political career over the years whilst Zoe stayed at home and homeschooled the children. As the years drew on and the more they learned about each other the more the couple found ways to love each other. They had the typical dynamic where Zoe deferred to Laurent as the head of their household, and was the leader of the children and main director of the home in conjunction with her daughters as they got older. As the children got older and started their own families they focused on those who were still being homeschooled at home. For gen 1 in my game I was playing on the ‘normal’ lifespan, so when Zoe aged up to an elder she also died at her birthday party, the mods I had in my game made it so her health was wrecked by having all those children. Laurent was level 9 fitness so he had his lifespan added to as a reward 💀We’re going to write it into the story that she got sick in her 70s and passed away first, then laurent lived for a few more years before he passed.

Here they are, in what I estimated to be their late 50s, 8 children and almost 30 years of marriage under their collective belts. I will do a proper post with staged pictures because now that I’ve done this, I want to make it an official bit I can add to the characters page.

[24] Adalynn is being interviewed for Godly Man Magazine/Precious Helpmeet Magazine -

How was it being the eldest of 13 whilst all of you were at home?

Growing up and having a sibling be born every year or every other year was something that I loved, having a new baby sibling was the best thing for each of us. The older I got the more I got to take care of each baby, and eventually my mother assigned one of us older girls to a younger kid to help things run smoothly. It was definitely a season of character building for me, working with my sisters and my mother to help the house run smoothly. There’s a 17 year gap between me and Ashton, the youngest, so we were all at home for around 3 years before I got married at 20. Those 3 years were great, my buddies were the last 3 children so my main focuses were either changing diapers, making bottles, potty training, or doing skill building.

How does your childhood compare to how you’re raising your children now?

Well, as of now I’ve got 7 boys, so it’s definitely different than my mother who had atleast 4 older girls to help her. My oldest is about to turn 10 and is a wonderful help around the house and with his brothers, the oldest 4 are in scouts and so have taken up doing more than the usual amount of chores in order to win scouting badges and be promoted. I have absolutely 0 problems with that as it means that there’s less that I have to worry about! Surprisingly, dealing with 7 boys isn’t as hard as one would think, I think because it’s less than what I’d be dealing with at home so I’m actually managing to take it easier. There’s 3 toddlers, so they’re my main focus during the day other than when I’m homeschooling the older boys. My either my mother-in-law or sister-in-law will come over to keep them company whilst I do music lessons with the boys, music was so important to me growing up that I want the boys to have the same benefits that I did of having a musical education.

#fundie simblr ask game #this took wayyyy too long to post wow

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thanos-kin · 7 years

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jared is so gay what the heck

#dear evan hansen #deh #jared kleinman #connor murphy #evan hansen #kleinsen #zoe murphy #alana beck #my art #i love them what the heck #this is all so new #i literally just started shipping this 2 hours ago

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lostinfantasies38 · 3 years

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Ten Favorite Dialogues from 2020

I picked 10 dialogue exchanges that I loved from the stories I posted this year. A few of them are from the same stories, since I spent a good chunk of the year working on long fics instead of one shots or shorter stories. Under the cut bc they are lengthy.

I also realized that most of my zingers tend to be in my descriptions and don’t always make it into my character’s dialogue. I might have to change that.

In no particular order:

Dorian chuckled. “Honestly, you two are disgraceful. You can’t come to a club looking like sex on legs when you aren’t single. You’re going to give people a heart attack.”

“Jealous, Dorian?” Alistair needled.

“Insanely,” he replied smoothly. “Aside from myself and Zevran,”—he saluted the elf who shot him a saucy wink—“you’re the most attractive men here. And to add insult to injury, you’re together,” he sighed dramatically.

Accidental Alliance, a oneshot modern Cullistair AU

“Step two of the pie liberation was to avoid suspicion of the adults.” Evan giggled at Connor’s phrasing and thought he heard Alex snort in amusement, too. “Zoe’s job was to act as a distraction, which wasn’t hard to accomplish because Cynthia decked her out in this frilly monstrosity that every woman within a five-mile radius oohed and aahed over. She fucking hated it, of course, but it worked in our favor for The Plan. And yes, those are honest to God capitals, babe. Think Mission Impossible: Thanksgiving 2010.”

“Alternate title: Pie Larceny,” Evan quipped, overjoyed by Connor’s rich laughter. Alex definitely chuckled at that.

“Yes! Oh my God, that’s amazing. I’m totally renaming it Pie Larceny.”

Save Me From Myself - part 3 of my DEH series, Connor Murphy/Evan Hansen

“It makes me want to wrap you in blankets and bubble wrap and smother you with attention until you’re sick of looking at me, though.”

A broken laugh tumbled out of Evan’s mouth. “Well, there’s a mental picture. What are you gonna do? Roll me down the street?”

“I’m working out the logistics, but rolling you around does sound kinda fun,” Connor teased.

Snorting, Evan retorted, “I mean, you do have practice rolling joints. Guess a bundled up boyfriend isn’t much difference.”

Connor’s borderline hysterical laughter almost drowned out Evan’s airy chuckles. “Jesus Christ, Evan,” he wheezed, shakily wiping away tears.

Save Me From Myself - part 3 of my DEH series, Connor Murphy/Evan Hansen

Returning his head to the shadows, he hissed, “Sister Agnes is milling around. I need a distraction so I can reach our room.”

Kai grinned and pulled a dehydrated pepper from his pocket. “Down the hatch.”

Gavin stopped him with a concern expression. “Are you sure about this?”

He snorted softly. “Please, I grew up eating these. My mum sends them because she knows I love them. They’re like candy. I’ll be shitting fire for a week, but they don’t hurt my mouth. I’ll burn hot and sweat like crazy though. Trust me, it’ll work.”

The redhead arched an eyebrow. “So you carry them in your pocket at all times?”

“No,” Kai answered irritably. “That’s why I needed Easton earlier. To act as a distraction for me so I could get it out of my room.”

Gavin sighed. “If you’re sure. I mean, we could brawl in the hallway, that would work, too.”

Alistair glanced around the corner. “Hurry up and choose. I’m not waiting forever.” Kai smirked and popped the pepper in his mouth.

“Well, that decides it,” Gavin groaned. Alistair tried not to laugh as over the course of a few minutes, Kai’s face visibly flushed in response to the spicy heat and sweat pooled under his hair, running in rivulets across his face.

“How do I look?” he asked.

“Like you’ve got the sweat,” Gavin replied sardonically.

“Perfect,” he retorted. “Right, good luck, Alistair. If I fail to distract everyone, Gavin’s got you covered.”

Find Me Well Within Your Grace - young Cullistair prequel fic - excerpt from Ch 11 featuring a few of my OCs and Alistair

Wrapping his arms around her as she hummed at the stove, he said, “Sirra and Alistair either just left my apartment or she only now deigned to tell me they’re gone.”

Eowyn grinned wickedly at him, checking the clock on the dining room wall. “My, my! Four hours later! Scandalous.”

“I wish you could have seen them. The magnetism! It was instant.”

She giggled. “I saw the photos. That’s more of Alistair’s almost-O face than I ever want to see again, thanks very much.”

He snorted. “Fair enough.” After a pause, Zevran chuckled, “I give them a month.”

Rounding on him in horror, Eowyn stared at him with wide mossy eyes. “You just said they were perfect together! Do you think we made a mistake?”

“No, amore mio. I mean, I give them a month before they elope. I might have been party to their engagement shoot today.”

She blinked slowly as the giggles built until she was clutching the kitchen counter in a fit of uncontrolled mirth. “Okay, that may be accurate knowing Alistair!”

“I’m thinking of changing my business cards. Should I add ‘Matchmaker Extraordinaire’ or ‘Signor Soulmate’?” he asked cheekily.

Shot In The Dark - Sirra Brosca/Alistair modern AU oneshot [dialogue shown is between Zevran/OC]

Cullen grinned with him. “Me either. Maybe we can improve your chess skills enough for you to graduate from mediocre.”

“Oh, ha ha. You and the others can have fun with that, thanks very much. Here I was hoping we could spend more time in bed,” he teased, sliding a hand into his curls.

Rolling his eyes playfully, the blonde retorted, “Of course, count on you to think how often we can sleep together instead of improving our skills.”

“That is how we improve our skills.”

“Training skills, you fiend.”

Heaving a melodramatic sigh, Alistair quipped, “Well, one of us has to be the boring one in the relationship. Glad it’s not me.” Cullen elbowed him gently in the ribs, chuckling along with his lover’s bright laughter.

Find Me Well Within Your Grace - young Cullistair prequel fic, excerpt from Ch 12

“You’re not worthless,” Alistair whispered. The breath she’d been holding passed her lips with a tiny mewl of surprise. Still unable to look at one other, Alistair kept his hand on her wrist and she resisted the urge to scoot further away.

Sirra murmured, “You don’t know me, Alistair. You can’t say that.”

“I can,” he insisted firmly, his fingers pressing just a bit harder on her flesh. “It doesn’t matter who you were. When you join the Grey Wardens, all that matters is who you are. I may not know who you used to be in Orzammar, but I have a pretty good idea who you are in the sun.”

Sun Touched - excerpt from Ch 4

“I’m sorry, Alistair, I wanted to surprise you. Most dwarves in Orzammar, caste and casteless alike, have genital piercings. It’s cultural and unrelated to murder.”

His eyebrows climbed into his hair. “Even the men? How in the Maker’s name does that work?” Sirra opened her mouth to explain, but he hastily held up a hand and shivered. “Rhetorical question. Please do not answer that.”

Sun Touched - excerpt from Ch 14

“I love you, too,” she murmured, gracing him with a watery smile. “If I had known you were up here, I would have left Orzammar years ago and tracked you down,” Sirra mused, only half joking.

“Oh, really?” he quirked an eyebrow in amusement. “I can just imagine you sneaking into the droll monastery and breaking me out. I would have assumed you were a figment of my imagination, a desire demon, or Maker-sent. Regardless, I doubt I could have resisted the mischievous glint in your eyes as you crept in to find me in my smalls, surrounded by thirty other recruits, and told me to run away with you.”

Laughing, Sirra raked her short nails down his toned chest. “A naked teenage version of you? I would have taken you on the spot, letting the recruits feast their eyes on us, before dashing out the front door with your bare ass in tow.”

He closed his eyes with a lusty moan, and swallowed hard, his voice strained when he replied. “Definitely Maker-sent then. To think, we could have been on the lam for the last few years, making mad love wherever we went.”

Sighing melodramatically, Alistair smirked and playfully bopped the tip of her nose with his. “Ah, well, at least I have you now and that’s all that matters.”

Sun Touched - excerpt from Ch 17

10.

“Stop it,” Morrigan mumbled irritably.

Alistair feigned innocence. “Stop what? I’m sitting here like a good patient. I wasn’t even talking until right now.”

Yellow eyes bored into hazel as the subtle light faded around them, his shoulder apparently healed. “You know very well what. Stop staring at my hands. ‘Tis most distracting.”

“And here I thought it was my hands distracting you during the fight,” he smirked. “Not where my eyes happened to land. How could you have known that I might have been paying attention, if you weren’t observing me, too, hmm?”

Scoffing, Morrigan took a large step back and crossed her arms haughtily over her chest. “You are insufferable.”

Sheathing his sword, Alistair shrugged with affected boredom. “I may be insufferable, Morrigan, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Deny it all you want, but we both know the truth.”

Snagging his shield from where it fell on the ground, he slung it over his back and murmured for her ears alone. “Besides, for a cranky witch who grew up in a swamp, they’re surprisingly soft and gentle… when they want to be, that is.”

You Give Me That Lovin’ Feelin’ - ch 2. Part 1 of 3 of Morristair written for @scharoux 14 Days of DA Lovers

#tag game #fave dialogues #my ocs #my writing #lostinfantasies38 #Sun Touched #FMWWYG #find me well #14 days of DA lovers #deh #dear evan hansen #dragon age #cullistair #sirrastair #morristair #evan x connor

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