vigilanxiety-blog

[vigilanxiety-blog]

During the most poor and homeless period of my life, I had a lot of people get angry with me because I spent $25 on Bath and Body Works candles during a sale. They couldn’t comprehend why the hell I would do that when I had been fighting for months to try and get us on our feet, afford food, and have an apartment to live in.

Those candles were placed beside wherever I slept that night. In the morning, I would move them and set them wherever I’d have to hang out. At one point I carried one around in my purse - one of those big honking 3-wick candles. I never lit them, but I’d open them and smell them a lot.

I credit that purchase with a lot of my drive that got me to where I am today. I had been working tirelessly, 15+ hour days with barely any reward, constantly on the phone or trying to deal with organizations and associations to “get help at”. It’d gone on for almost a year by the end of it, and I was so burnt out, to the point that I would shake 24/7. But I could get a bit of relief from my 3-wick “upper middle class lifestyle” candles. They represented my future goals, my home I wanted to decorate, and how I would one day not be in this mess anymore.

When we moved into the apartment, and our financial status improved, I burned those candles every single day. When they were empty, I cleaned them out, stuck labels on them, and they became the starting point of my really cute organization system I had ALWAYS planned to have.

So whenever I hear about someone very poor getting themselves a treat - maybe it’s Starbucks, maybe it’s a home deco item, maybe it’s a video game… I don’t judge them. I get it. I get that you can’t go without anything for that long without it making you go crazy. You need to pull some joy, inspiration, and motivation from somewhere.

[vigilanxiety-blog]

Being a Romantic Introvert 💘

#big gay mood

[vigilanxiety-blog]

Ok so WOW this was just the best! Thomas Sanders is as sweet in person as he is in his videos. Logan went dressed up as one of Thomas’ character Logic and Skylar dressed as Anxiety. I thought I was going to have to drag Logan away. He was so happy. Kayla and I dressed up as ourselves. lol Logan also filmed some stuff that will be in Thomas’ next music video. Joan & Talyn were so nice and sweet to Logan. Even when he was talking their ears off! 😂 It was the best experience ever! 10/10 would drive to NYC again.

#this is. so cute #oh my goodness

[vigilanxiety-blog]

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

#important

[vigilanxiety-blog]

i may or may not have just spent two hours making thomas and the sides in the sims 3 and now i'm gonna spend another hour or two and a hell of a lot of simoleons building them a giant house

#does this count as fan art #lol what am i doing with my life #thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

[vigilanxiety-blog]

hey no one ever fuckin’ talks about amab enbies so here’s a fuckin’ shoutout to amab non-binary people ur valid as SHIT

[vigilanxiety-blog]

and where have I been?

Summary: He knocks quietly. “Uh. Hey, Roman. I think dinner’s ready.” No response. Virgil feels a slight twist of something in his chest, but presses on, trying for lightness. “Yo, Romano, are you sleeping or something?” Again, silence, and Virgil knows that isn’t right- he expected at least one indignant shout from the Romano.He moves his hand to the doorknob, and grasps it, only to jerk back and gasp in shock at how cold it is. 

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”

Based on this post

(written with the intention of being a oneshot, but with the possibility of there being more too)

Content Warning: Emotional manipulation & psychological abuse; memory loss

Also on ao3 here

What bothers Virgil the most is that, at first, he didn’t even realise anything was wrong. And that’s his job- some protector he is.

He is used to when Logan snaps out of frustration and reaches breaking point; used to Patton covering up aching sadness with imitations of smiles. The trouble is, they are not actors, not really, and Roman very much is. Virgil still finds it difficult to place when Roman’s bravado is just typical bravado, or if Roman is deliberately covering up.

So when Roman is late joining them for dinner, Virgil doesn’t think anything of it. In fact, he is also late, and he pauses as he makes his way down the corridor, noticing the light still faintly glowing underneath Roman’s door.

He knocks quietly. “Uh. Hey, Roman. I think dinner’s ready.” No response. Virgil feels a slight twist of something in his chest, but presses on, trying for lightness. “Yo, Romano, are you sleeping or something?” Again, silence, and Virgil knows that isn’t right- he expected at least one indignant shout from the Romano.

He moves his hand to the doorknob, and grasps it, only to jerk back and gasp in shock at how cold it is. 

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”

Virgil just turns his head to look at Deceit, leaning nonchalantly against the wall. He is privately proud that he doesn’t jump- it’s taken practice, of course, but it’s working.

“Yeah, I’ll take your advice when hell freezes over.”

From behind the door, there’s a fierce gust of chill wind, and Virgil only just stops himself from shivering.

Deceit’s eyes glitter. “Interesting choice of words. I’ve been known to give very good advice, Virgil. It’s such a shame it goes unheard.”

“What…” Virgil swallows, noticing how the light from Roman’s door is starting to flicker. “What did you say to him?”

Deceit tuts, pushing himself off the wall, and moving his neck slowly, one side to the other. “That would be playing fair,” he hisses, and then, with one snap of his fingers, he’s gone.

Keep reading

#this is one of my favorite sanders sides fics on this site honestly #i love it so much

[vigilanxiety-blog]

List 5 things that make you happy and send to the last 10 people who you have notes from ~(if you want to)

oh this is cute!

thomas sanders

writing

twenty one pilots

5 seconds of summer

my best friends/my cat

#barbed-wire-babe #ask

[vigilanxiety-blog]

some sanders sides room headcanons bc why not:

dark sides’ rooms only really affect light sides and vice versa

the light sides can be influenced by each others’ room but not to the scale of like virgil in patton’s room, where he started panicking

logan’s room makes virgil less anxious because anxiety doesn’t listen to logic unless it has no choice, and logan’s room makes virgil think more logically whether he wants to or not

he keeps an extra pair of headphones and a weighted blanket in his room for nights when virgil’s had a panic attack and needs to calm down

roman loves to work in logan’s room because it helps him focus and his room has too many ideas and trains of thought running through it sometimes

roman’s room is comfortable, warm, and will make you feel like you can do anything

logan and patton love hanging out in his room when they’re just a little bit stressed because it feels really homey

virgil gets less anxious in roman’s room but not in a good way, like logan’s

if he stays too long, roman can convince him to agree to some of his more stupid/embarrassing ideas

patton’s room can be manipulated by patton to fit whatever mood he’s in or whatever mood thomas or the others want to feel

that’s why it was so happy when thomas wanted to reminisce, even though patton wasn’t feeling super happy

his room looks a lot like thomas’s when he’s just content or doesn’t want to wallow in whatever emotion he’s feeling

his room can filter out lies if he really wants it to because lying is usually immoral and he is morality

virgil’s room will make anyone spill their guts about their bad feeling

virgil draws the darkness out of them- the shadows in his room are composed of the self doubt and sadness the others talk about in there

patton goes in a lot because he has a lot of feelings he feels like he can’t be expressed anywhere else

sometimes, the shadows get to be too much and he has to fight them. it makes him really tired, which makes thomas really tired, too. thomas doesn’t know why he’s so exhausted, but he chalks it up to thinking too much and goes to sleep early (*cough* 11:00 pm *cough*)

this got a little longer than i wanted it to be but i just wanted to post something since i haven’t been online in two days yikes lol

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #deceit sanders #sanders sides headcanon #sanders sides headcanons #sanders sides rooms #i have so many hcs #i love this series too much

[vigilanxiety-blog]

i have no idea how to get followers. i have never done this before. i think i'm just gonna start posting sanders sides headcanons??? i have a fanfic to post but i need to finish it and i want people to read it so i might wait until i start getting followers idk

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides headcanon #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #deceit sanders #thomas sanders #ts deceit #pls follow me im desperate

[vigilanxiety-blog]

hi friends! i’ve never really made a blog for any purpose other than reblogging things, but i wanted somewhere i could post my writing... so i made this! i’ve had another tumblr (@an-ath-ema) for like four years, but all i do over there is reblog stuff.

anyways, hi, my name’s amber (she/they) and i love thomas sanders!

#new blog #sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #personal