britesparc

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #633

Top Ten Fictional Cities

If there’s one thing I like in my fiction, it’s a good sense of place. You want to be immersed in an alternative world; so it’s nice to know where you actually are. Of course, tons of fiction is set in real places: whether that’s an historical drama like The Crown necessarily inhabiting the palaces Queen Elizabeth did actually occupy; or a film such as The Full Monty being specifically set in contemporary Sheffield; or even the bulk of the MCU taking place in what’s supposed to be a believable version of New York. Plenty of films and shows and books and everything else revel in their location; how many times have we heard “the city is a character”, usually when describing urban crime dramas (or, frankly, Batman films)? But it’s true; a great location can ground a story, or it can transport you. There can be a realness even to the most fantastical of fictional locales.

And I really do love a fictional locale. Whether it’s the unrecognisable cityscapes of the likes of Blade Runner or The Fifth Element – ostensibly set in real-world cities such as Los Angeles and New York many years hence (“many years” in Blade Runner’s case being, er, 2019) – or places that are made up entirely, it’s great to see the wildness, weirdness, and even the realism that these made-up metropoli deliver. Think about it: how many of your favourite fictions take place in not-real location? Of course you can look at total fantasies like Lord of the Rings, or sci-fi stories that exist on other planets; but whether it’s as crazy a place as Roger Rabbit’s Toontown, the sprawling cities of games like Cyberpunk 2077 or Crackdown, or even the fictionalised township of Derry, Maine in several Stephen King stories, across the gamut of genre, medium, and audience, we have places that aren’t real giving us stories that feel real.

Because, again, the best settings reinforce the fiction they envelop. I don’t want to pre-empt the list itself, but look at how Gotham and Metropolis reflect the heroes that live there. This can be both sublime and ridiculous: the way the fictionalised cities of Grand Theft Auto serve not only to reinforce the themes of the games they inhabit, but also work as subtle (and not so subtle) parodies of American life; but also the way you’d get a place like Duckburg in Duck Tales, or even Far, Far Away in the Shrek movies, that really don’t have much purpose other than giving fantastical cartoon characters a home and allowing for some wince-inducing puns when it comes to the names of shops and stuff.

Blimey, I’ve wanged on a bit this week.

Anyway, I love a made-up city, that’s what I’m saying. And that’s what this list is, if you hadn’t guessed. Now, as usual, I’ve given myself rules; one is that these are supposed to be cities. There’s one that I’m not certain of (I’ll come to it) – it might be a town, technically, but I’ve allowed it on the basis of its iconicness (is that a word?). Also, they have to be fictional; so the likes of Marvel’s New York or Blade Runner’s LA are out. As are, frankly, the in-all-but-name cities of GTA; I don’t really think Liberty City is any more fictional than the New York inhabited by the Avengers, it’s just got a made-up name to go along with its made up buildings and locations. This has also stretched to Neo-Tokyo from Akira, which is really just Tokyo with a hole in the middle. However, I am allowing Mega-City One.

I think that’s it. Let’s go on a city break!

Gotham and Metropolis (Batman and Superman comics, from 1938): yes, once again I cheat at the start. Two cities! But often they’re thought of as twin cities, so, y’know. Whatever. Anyway: they are always a yin and a yang, the light and the dark, reflections of their principal heroes. Metropolis, shining city on the hill, beacon of the future; Gotham, dark and brooding gothic vision, its windswept alleys awash with rain. They’ve been called New York in the day and New York in the night, and as representations of the beauty, optimism, darkness, and danger of cities – of American cities; of America – they’re perfect. So perfect they’re almost certainly the first fictional cities you thought of too. So perfect they can be high-tech futurescapes, twisted neon-drenched, fume-belching furnaces, or just broadly realistic interpretations of real places (in Donner’s Superman, Metropolis is literally New York, Statue of Liberty and all). No fake place is as redolent. They are the ur-cities. And, of course, they have the best superheroes.

Coruscant (Star Wars stories, officially from 1997): the retro-futuristic art deco stylings of its skyline is one thing – the hovering platforms in the clouds, the vast curving domes of the buildings – but the fact that the entire planet is one big city is its big talking point. Taking the concept of sprawling metropolis (small “m”) to its most ridiculous degree, it’s a crazy sci-fi concept in a film series built on crazy sci-fi concepts.

Autobot City (The Transformers: The Movie, 1986): the notion of the Autobots – long trapped in their crashed spaceship – building a permanent city on Earth was cool enough. But the fact that it can transform into a bristling battle-station is even better. And its design is cool; a sci-fi version of a medieval fortress, moat and all. Gets extra points because, depending on who you believe, it may turn into an actual Transformer, or just have one sleeping beneath it. Fun fact: in the original script it was even referred to as “Fortress Maximus”!

Springfield (The Simpsons, from 1987): it’s a hell of a town; the schoolyard’s up and the shopping mall’s down. This is the minor controversy, because I don’t know if Springfield is a city or a town; but to hell with it, chances are if you didn’t think of Gotham or Metropolis, you thought of this place. Over thirty-odd years of the series, Springfield has developed into a believable, if exaggerated, township; we know some of these locations like the back of our hand. Moe’s, the Power Plant, the burning tyre yard, Springfield Elementary, yada yada yada. It’s a perfectly realised unreal place.

Minas Tirith, the White City of Gondor (The Lord of the Rings, 1954): technically, I believe that “Gondor” is the realm and the huge walled city. Its seven walled levels climb upwards, providing multiple rings of defence, and looking somewhat like a giant swirl on top of a colossal cupcake. The promontory rock jutting out the front, and the beautiful citadel on its topmost level, make for an incredibly striking and unique design, as well as offering functionality. It’s an amazing, fantastical, incredible location.

Mega-City One (Judge Dredd, 1977): whilst this city does contain New York, it also stretches across pretty much the entire eastern seaboard of the US, so it’s, y’know, big. Possibly the poster child for sprawling post-apocalyptic metropolis, it’s a vast, corrupt, horrible place overseen by a fascist police force. Pick your depressing sci-fi trope, it’s here. Interesting to ponder what it says about the British view of America, really.

Ankh-Morpork (Discworld stories, from 1983): possibly lower down the list than some would have it, because (whispers) I’ve not read much Discworld. But as a place, it’s incredibly well-realised, a brilliant multifaceted fantasy location that feels incredibly real and dynamic and lived-in, and (typical for Pratchett) reflects our own world so perfectly.

Rapture (BioShock, 2007): it’s part-city, part underwater laboratory, yeah? But the notion of a man-made utopia going to pot is a common sci-fi go-to. Here, the distinct areas of the city, and how they reflect the various obsessions and perversions of the pseudo-fascist nutters who ran the place, are beautiful to behold and terrifying to ponder. Plus, as an emergent and interactive bit of design, the location is tremendous to wander around, the retro art design great to behold, the distressed and decaying façade of gaudy old-timey whimsey disturbing but also quaintly amusing.

Zootopia (Zootopia, 2016): cities in talking-animal movies usually just look like real cities but there’ll be dreadful puns, like a burger place called “McDognald’s” or something. Zootopia tries to imagine how all these different animals would co-exist, with fascinating results, including different temperate zones, vast tubes connecting different areas, and buildings of varying sizes that result in our relatively-diminutive leads towering kaiju-like over the proceedings.

San Angeles (Demolition Man, 1993): I was worried this was a bit of a cheat too, as it’s an amalgam of two real cities, but this new metropolis emerged from the ashes of a devastating earthquake so – like Mega-City One – it counts. And for once we have more of a culture than a design that stands out; true, the three seashells and sexy curvy cars are a highlight, but it’s the way this city imposes its morality, the way the future erased 20th century vices, and the way – frankly – everyone speaks that sets this out as a fascinating little town of tomorrow. Be well, San Angeles. Be well.

#top ten #movies #comics #tv #games #fictional cities #made-up towns #urban centres that are dens of lies #springfield

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #632

Top Ten MCU Actors Who Deserved a Bigger Role

So, after last week’s jaunt to the old DCEU (RIP), this week I’m tackling something I’ve talked about a lot more and, frankly, like a whole lot more too: the MCU.

One of the things the MCU has largely done very well (and, to be fair, so did the DCEU) is casting. That’s right, I’m still on an actors-playing-superheroes jaunt. But think about the core Avengers; arguably one of the problems the MCU is having right now is that they got it so right from 2008-2012 that it’s totally overshadowing everything that’s come along afterwards. The original Avengers lineup is a murderer’s row of super-cool charisma machines, and this extends to the supporting characters, from Fury to Happy to Peggy. Even when the new films and shows are great and equally well-cast – Shang-Chi, Ms. Marvel, Moon Knight – it’s a very, very tough act to follow.

Which is why it sticks out when they get it wrong.

Now, I do not mean they cast the wrong actor, or a bad actor; yes, of course, there have been very famous (and infamous) course corrections when it comes to casting, running the gamut from creative differences to, er, death. But every once in a while they cast an actor in a film or show, and you’re left sighing and scratching your head, thinking, why did they sign on for this? Basically, it boils down to: sometimes they cast a great actor, but for whatever reason the character or the film is just a bit pants; or they cast someone with a view to establishing or embiggening the role in future films, but it just doesn’t seem to happen; or they cast someone who then blows up and you’ve shackled this huge star to a piddly character.

So that’s what we have here: ten actors who you sort of end up wishing hadn’t been cast in these roles, because maybe then they could have been given other, bigger, better roles in the MCU. Proper leading roles, as befits their talents; or juicy, well-written villain parts – a Loki or a Thanos – that could have allowed them some ample opportunity to chew the scenery. Not all of these are done-in-one parts; certainly, terrific actors have been cast in relatively small roles but done it so well you can’t really argue (Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer, Stanley Tucci as Abraham Erskine). But sometimes, you do wish for more.

And that’s the big takeaway here: all of these are great actors, and all of them I just wanted to see more of. And whilst there is some precedent for actors double-dipping in the MCU, it’s unlikely that as prominent a supporting player as Heimdall could realistically reappear as the lead in his own franchise. Anyway; let’s get into character…

Mads Mikkelsen (Kaecilius, Doctor Strange, 2016): the very inspiration for this whole list, because I thought he’d have been good as Doctor Doom, except he was already spoken for. Here, he really tries to give depth and character to a pretty one-note spurned hero who breaks bad. He has unfortunate eye shadow, a forgettable name, and is a bit of a sad squib unfortunately. Mikkelsen really could have delivered a terrific, memorable, all-time-great character; this, tragically, ain’t it.

Christopher Eccleston (Malekith, Thor: The Dark World, 2013): arguably the poster child for “great actor shackled in shit role”, Eccleston is a terrific performer who tackles weighty, complex, often controversial characters. Absolutely none of his charm, talent, or eloquence is visible underneath his heavy makeup and accent. He’s just a snarling evil-doer, a Saturday morning cartoon villain. Now, I’m not sure old Chris would have fancied signing a ten-film contract to play, I dunno, Professor X or something, but he should have had something better than this.

Rebecca Hall (Maya Hansen, Iron Man 3, 2013): apparently Hall’s character was supposed to be revealed as the Big Bad of Iron Man 3, the brains behind the whole operation, Guy Pearce’s boss. That would make more sense as to why an actor of Hall’s power ended up in such a slight role, a sad figure who’s written off quite early on. Iron Man 3 is arguably the best MCU film, and Maya’s tragic arc is interesting, but Hall could have given us so much more.

Kinglsey Ben-Adir (Gravik, Secret Invasion, 2023): Ben-Adir is on a roll at the moment, his star skyrocketing. Marvel were onto a good thing, casting him as a baddie in a 2023 project. Unfortunately, that project was Secret Invasion, probably the worst thing they’ve ever produced. He spent six episodes being the alien equivalent of a petulant teenager, shouting at grown-ups in an inexplicable Welsh accent, wandering slowly between the show’s two sets, and ultimately having an unfortunate CG-addled fight with the equally-wasted Emilia Clarke. The only upside is you could feasibly cast him in another role and just say the Skrull Gravik had copied Ben-Adir’s face.

Chewetel Ejiofor (Mordo, Doctor Strange, 2016): we get to the first character who might end up going somewhere and justifying their actor. Mordo is a pretty big Doctor Strange villain, and his supporting turn in the first Strange film did seem to set up a potential arc. Ejiofor is a leading man who could have anchored his own franchise; ending up a second-rate Strange baddie who, in Multiverse of Madness, is reduced to an alternate-universe cameo. There’s no suggestion his arc will go anywhere; he doesn’t feel like he’ll be the focus of a third Doctor Strange, let alone anything else in the MCU. And that’s such a shame.

Idris Elba (Heimdall, Thor, 2011): this one might be a bit controversial, as Heimdall crops up in no less than five MCU films, given a bit of a minor hero arc in Ragnarok. But let’s face it: there’s no way you’d give the role to Elba nowadays. Christ, you’d give him Thor before you gave him Heimdall. Elba could have ended up as Captain Britain or Blade (British in the comics!) or, let’s be honest, any Marvel hero or villain he wanted.

Sterling K. Brown (N’Jobu, Black Panther, 2018): another possibly controversial one, because Brown is terrific as N’Jobu, a really tragic figure whose actions set in motion the film’s plot. It’s a very small but powerful role, and arguably you need an actor of Brown’s stature to deliver it. All the same, it’s a pity that he’s been and gone in the MCU now. I’d have loved for him to have a meaty, recurring role across multiple films.

Elizabeth Debicki (Ayesha, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, 2017): again, Debicki’s Ayesha is in two films and although a very small role is pivotal to the plots of both. She does a terrific job, lathered in gold paint, of portraying the supposedly perfect Ayesha’s fraying edges and encroaching mania as her plans unravel. But it’s Elizabeth Debicki. She could have been Sue Storm, or Jean Grey, or a dozen other characters. Arguably she’s another movie star who was cast a bit too early in their career, but it’s still a pity that we’ve seen all she has to give in the MCU. Hopefully James Gunn will grab her for the DCU.

Anson Mount (Black Bolt, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, 2022): is this fair? I’m not sure; Mount’s cameo in Multiverse of Madness is essentially a comedy hat-tip to the much-maligned Inhumans series (confession: I only watched the first episode but it was crap). But as anyone who’s seen Star Trek knows, Mount is terrific, a multilayered heroic leader; there are a dozen big MCU characters he could play (including, er, Black Bolt). I guess in the infinite multiverse we may not have seen the last of him.

Gemma Chan (Minn-Erva, Captain Marvel, 2019 and Sersi, Eternals, 2021): Chan gets a special mention here due to sheer bad luck. One of the rare MCU double-dippers, she was a supporting baddie with blue skin in Captain Marvel, but was brought back sans makeup to play the lead in Eternals. And, as the lead, coming back after a one-and-done bad guy, she’s not been “underused” really. Except! Sadly Eternals was a misfire, a weird (and, in my opinion, fascinating and interesting) flop. The general consensus is it was a bad film (it isn’t) and didn’t do very well (it didn’t), and everything seems to suggest that the Eternals story is effectively done in the MCU. Seeing as the powers-that-be are quite fond of tapping back into the franchise’s ugly ducklings (both Incredible Hulk and The Dark World have spawned incredibly important plot points or characters and have been revisited extensively), I wouldn’t be surprised if elements of Eternals do pop up again in the future. But I can’t really see them bringing back the main cast, which unfortunately means the very talented Gemma Chan is probably done with the MCU. Sob.

Sadly no room for Chris O’Dowd’s character from The Dark World. I did nearly have a special compilation entry for The First Avenger, though, which features tiny roles for future stars Natalie Dormer, Richard Armitage, and Jenna Coleman. That’s three Avengers-level leading actors, right there!

#top ten #movies #comics #marvel #mcu #marvel characters #cast #actors

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #631

Top Ten DCEU Actors to Keep in the DCU

Yes, really. I really managed to find ten of them. Did I think this was a funny and curious idea, immediately had, like, four or maybe five people, and then struggled earnestly to get this up to ten? I plead the fifth.

So, the DCEU. I’m going to circle back to this curious, mostly failed, example of a shared universe once I’ve seen Blue Beetle and Aquaman: The Lost Kingdom. It’s odd, isn’t it, because I’d say that generally speaking most film fans’ perceptions of this set of movies is a negative one. And, yes, it’s true, there have been scant few of the massive wide-ranging hits that the MCU has enjoyed; in fact, I’d argue that outside of Wonder Woman, every single genuinely good film they’ve produced has had something of a qualification to it – an asterisk next to its success. Aquaman – the biggest financial hit by far – is a really weird film that I can imagine rubs a lot of people the wrong way; alternatively, The Suicide Squad, although excellent and widely praised, can’t really be seen as anything but a bit of a flop.

But having said all that, there was a lot to like. Right from the start, even if I didn’t enjoy the films that were being made, the casting was on-point. Henry Cavill as Superman was always better than the films he was in; Ben Affleck defied all the naysayers to give us a grizzled, wounded, and often very funny incarnation of the Dark Knight; and above all, Gal Gadot embodied Wonder Woman to such an extent that she is effectively the iconic ideal of the character right now. This extended to most of the supporting cast, from Amy Adams as Lois Lane to J.K. Simmons as Commissioner Gordon to Viola Davis as Amanda Waller. Even weird scenes like the whole “jar of piss” bit in Batman v. Superman featured actors like Academy Award winner Holly Hunter – Holly Hunter! – for goodness’ sake. Across the vast majority of the films, the cast was stacked.

And so we have the all-new DCU, formally beginning next summer with James Gunn’s Superman. Yes, it’s definitely a reboot; this is a new actor playing a new Superman in a new continuity. But now that’s Doctor Strange, Miles Morales, and those rocks with googly eyes in Everything Everywhere All at Once have made us comfortable with the multiverse, we can probably accept that this is another world in DC’s Orrey of Worlds and some people look exactly the same as they did before, even if the world around them is a bit different. So John Cena is still Peacemaker, Xolo Maridueña is still Blue Beetle, and the aforementioned Davis is still the aforementioned Waller (funnily enough, most of the characters from Gunn’s Peacemaker seem to be continuing over to this new continuity). So I got to thinking: who else could we carry over from the old universe? What actor-character combos shall we maintain, lest we throw the Kryptonian baby out with the Thanagarian bathwater?

So that’s what this list is. Enjoy.

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn: one of the best pieces of casting in the old DCEU, Robbie embodies the physical Harley almost as well as Arleen Sorkin embodied her orally in Batman: The Animated Series thirty years ago. From the slightly problematic Suicide Squad to the more euphoric, progressive messages of Birds of Prey and The Suicide Squad. She looks the part, can do the accent, and she’s a bloody flipping superstar; anyone following in her rollerskates is in for a hell of a tough job, so they should do everything they can to keep her. Plus, to be honest, Robbie’s the right age to be convincing as a foe for a Batman who presumably has been around for a decade or more; arguably her Harley was a bit young for Affleck’s Bats.  

Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Huntress: let’s get it out the way right now, almost all of these are from the two Suicide Squad movies and Birds of Prey. Don’t @ me. Anyway, Winstead was great as a grumpy, stoic, incredibly effective assassin. She’s funny, she’s edgy, she looks terrific; I’m sure she’d fit right in with the new Bat-family.

Jurnee Smollett as Black Canary: speaking of which…! Let’s have a proper Canary and Arrow romance, a weird, kinky, hilarious, violent, vulgar romcom with Smollett – who’s terrific – and some cool young thing as Oliver Queen. She’s really very good, and deserves a lot more than the sadly-sidelined Birds of Prey could give her.

Will Smith as Deadshot: Suicide Squad was a bit weird and all over the place, but Smith’s presence – both dark and earnest spine, plus cheeky, quirky charm – was a highlight. He nailed the funnier aspects of the character, but also layered in the darkness (he is an assassin) and pathos. He was great in the role and it’d be good if he had a chance to continue.

Idris Elba as Bloodsport: I don’t know for certain, but it does feel a little like Smith couldn’t come back for The Suicide Squad so they added a new character to hit most of the same buttons (a Black assassin with vaguely futuristic weaponry who’s willing to do anything to help his daughter?). Anyway, he’s very good, and gives us a certain amount of grumpy British charm.

Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang: alright, yes, technically he did die in The Suicide Squad. But that was the old universe! There’s no reason to assume he died anymore! They could resurrect him, because quite frankly he’s bloody funny. Boomerang is a bit of an odd character to try to sell in a major film, Courtney did a great job, so just bring him back. Bugger continuity.

Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher: the beating heart of The Suicide Squad, she was absolutely terrific in that film, bringing quite a bit of melancholy and empathy to the role. Ratcatcher is such a tiny, little-known character, if you were going to bring them back it actually feels rather weird to not cast Melchior.

Pierce Brosnan as Doctor Fate: holy crap on a stick, this one’s not in a Suicide Squad film! Anyway, Black Adam was wonky but fun, and one of the best things about it was the Justice Society. Bronsan was terrific as Fate, bringing all his old school charm and gravitas, and just looking incredibly cool in a cravat. He’s another one – spoiler alert! – who’s technically dead right now, but again, he could come back. I mean, he’s Doctor Fate, he could just magic his way back if he wanted. I guess.

Temuera Morrison as Thomas Curry: so I don’t know what’s happening with Jason Momoa; is he going to carry on as Aquaman? Is he actually going to play Lobo? Who knows?! But regardless, his casting was terrific, and also terrific was Morrison as his dad. Quirky, grumpy, drunk, funny – he’s a delight. Keep him on! Plus, between playing Moana’s dad, Boba Fett’s dad, and Aquaman’s dad, he’s rivalling James Earl Jones in the cinematic father stakes.

Amber Heard as Mera: just to piss off Johnny Depp.

#top ten #films #movies #comics #dc #dcu #dceu #suicide squad #harley quinn #birds of prey #black adam

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #630

Top Ten Chocolates

Well, there’s chocolate. And, there’s chocolate. But! Only Wonka makes your confidence sky-rock-a-let. So put your hand into your pock-a-let, grab yourself some Wonka chocolate!

Ahem.

The problem being, of course, that Wonka Chocolate doesn’t actually exist. Well, okay, there’s something called Wonka Chocolate, but let’s face it, it doesn’t make you fart hummingbirds or whatever. Sadly, proper Wonka Chocolate remains the province of tall tales and masterful musicals that shockingly didn’t even get nominated for a single Oscar, despite having several of the best songs of the year.

Yes, even better than I’m Just Ken.

Where was I?

Oh yes, Easter. A celebration of renewal, of springtime, and of course the inspiration for the classic film The Life of Brian. So in a moment of spiritual solemnity I’m going to focus on the true meaning of the season by writing a list about chocolate.

This is no hifalutin list of blends and flavours; oh no sir. I did consider that, but then I thought that sounded both like a lot of hard work and also a bit pretentious. No, this is just chocolate products that taste really nice. Not cakes or anything though; basically bars. Chocolate bars. And stuff.

And that’s all there is to it. Now let’s all eat like we’re in the Ironic Punishment Division.

Dark Chocolate Orange: I like dark chocolate, I like orange-flavoured chocolate. There’s also something about the size and heft of the Chocolate Orange slices (segments?) that gives them a bit of gravitas; they’re small enough to have a few, if you feel like it, but also substantial enough to feel like a decent bit of chocolate on their own. Essentially, they tick all the boxes.

Dairy Milk: it’s classic, right? Now, generally speaking, I do prefer dark chocolate; I love those sexy Lindt bars and even a Bourneville. Those aren’t on this list though, but take it as read: they’re great. However, you really have to hand it to the simplicity and verisimilitude of Dairy Milk; it goes with everything. Snapping off a square from a big bar is one thing; but Easter eggs. Is there anything nicer than the shape and consistency of Dairy Milk Easter egg chocolate? I don’t care what comes with the egg, just give me several enormous Cadbury’s ones.

Starbar: going onto actual chocolate bars now, and I do like a bit of something in it. Starbars are great because they are soft but substantial; chewy, crunchy, and really jut have a lot going on. They feel light enough that you don’t get post-choc guilt attacks, but they also have their own bit of weight and substance regardless.

Cadbury’s Caramel: don’t give me any of that “Dairy Milk with Caramel” nonsense. This is its own beast. Dairy Milk chocolate, yes, but with really nice caramel within. Simply the best choc-and-caramel combo; sorry, Galaxy. And does anyone else miss the curiously sexy bunny?

Maltesers: I think I’ve become more and more drawn to the simple elegance of a Malteser as I’ve gotten older. The chocolate may not be Cadbury’s, but it’s sweet and light, and the soft, sugary sensation of dissolving one in your mouth borders on the sublime. I could probably eat a boxful if I allowed myself.

Peanut M&Ms: the connoisseur’s cinema snack of choice. There was a time when my wife and I could not be caught dead without a pack, either at the flicks or just in the car. However, they’re kinda expensive and very sweet and also the kids might have choked on them. But maybe they should make a comeback.

Crunchie: a thick, sturdy block of delightfully sweet honeycomb wrapped in a thin layer of chocolate. One of the most enjoyable chocs to eat due to its combination of subtlety and lightness and also it’s chonky boi energy. Can be soft, can be sharp, always tasty.

Boost: lower down the list than perhaps it really deserves. I really love a Boost, but they are superficially similar to the rather lighter and slightly more flavoursome Starbar. Their comparable heftiness can be what you’re after, and they are tasty. Plus – let’s not forget – they’re slightly rippled with a flat underside.

Reece’s Pieces: I struggled with how to rank these, because the actual Reece’s Pieces – the M&M-style things that Elliot feeds E.T. – aren’t that exciting and have that fake US chocolatey taste. But the other stuff they do – the bars and peanut butter cups and all that jazz – are amazing, probably the best synthesis of peanut butter and chocolate. So taken all together they rock. Despite being American.

Mint Aero: just pipping a Toffee Crisp at the post, because I couldn’t not have mint chocolate. I love mint chocolate, but it is something to be savoured, not an everyday delight. Whilst there are nicer chocolates and better incorporations of a minty flavour, there’s something about the softness and airiness of an Aero that makes it compelling.

Just bubbling under: Viscounts, Rolos, Munchies, and Kit Kats. And, of course, the aforementioned Toffee Crisp. Who’s hungry?

#top ten #easter #chocolate #wonka #cadburys #reeces pieces #eggs

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #629

Top Ten Actors Who Could Play James Bond (2024 Edition)

Dum-dada-dum-da-da-da, dum-dada-dum-da-da-da, DA-DA, da-da-dum. Yes, it’s that time again; time to needlessly speculate without any provocation about the casting of an iconic role.

This particular bout of “who will it be” is, of course, prompted by reports that erstwhile Quicksilver and future Kraven Aaron Taylor-Johnson has been offered the role of James Bond. Now, it’s fair to say that this remains a rumour; indeed, if I was a betting man, the very fact that this rumour has come out suggests to me that it isn’t, in fact, true. But it’s still got me thinking about who could be Bond; after all, the gap between the last film, 2021’s No Time to Die is ever-growing, and they usually like to be pretty speedy about these things.

Daniel Craig’s tenure as Bond is somewhat ridiculous, because even though at five films he’s not the most prolific in the role (behind both Connery and Moore), he was technically in the role for a whopping fifteen years. So long, in fact, that when Spectre came out, I actually did a list speculating who could replace him, and even that was nine years ago.

Anyway, we’re at it again; who could play Bond? And that’s what this list is all about, if you haven’t guessed. As usual, I’ve come up with some Rules, because that’s what separates us from the animals. First of all, these actors have to be British. Or Irish. Or maybe, at a push, Australian. Well, they have to be from the Commonwealth, at least. No Americans – that’s the takeaway. No Americans. Secondly, I have decided that they should be under forty. No offence to ancient people, especially the hideously decrepit 42-year-olds; but after Craig spent so long playing a variation on Old Man Bond, I think we should focus on a sprightly young chap. Presumably they’re going to be in this role for, what, six years? Ten? So I think it’d be best to plump for someone in their thirties, better to avoid Moore-style stunt-person-itis in their later films. I mean, look at Chris Hemsworth; it feels like he’s been Thor for a million years, but he’s only just turned forty. Maybe he really is Asgardian. Finally, I’ve picked all blokes. Why? Well, as much as I’m in favour of gender-neutral casting – or outright gender-swapping (if you’re gonna remake Highlander, Karen Gillan is right there) – I do feel that James Bond is, well, a bloke. The line between it not being a big deal or even positive to fuss about with a character’s gender is as blurry as the concept of gender itself, but I just feel like James Bond is a bloke.

That’s it. Now pay attention, 007…

Kingsley Ben-Adir: possibly the oldest actor here, but easily one of the most charismatic. He can be intense and brooding, with serious dramatic roles under his belt; but he’s also done more action-y stuff, big Hollywood stuff, and been a romantic lead. And he’s a Ken. Come on! He danced at the Oscars! Plus he had to be in Secret Invasion, he could do with a break.

Regé-Jean Page: he’s got the suave part down better than anyone (Bridgerton), he can do commanding and authoritative (Dungeons and Dragons), he’s even dabbled in action with The Gray Man. He’s done his bit in the Brit TV coal mines and has proven his acting chops. Look, just picture him in a tux with a martini. He’d rock it, shaken or stirred.

Henry Golding: absolutely nails it in the looks-good-in-formal-wear stakes. He’s tall, he’s attractive, he’s done his share of romances. And he kicks ass like the best of them; of all the guys on this list, he’s probably the closest to being a proper flat-out action star. And if you were hoping Bond was a Henry Cavill type, he’s the best of the bunch.

Dev Patel: the first three guys are broadly similar, in that they ooze traditional suavity. Patel, I think, possesses a looser, fuzzier air; think of the out-of-place charm he brings to the likes of Slumdog or Best Exotic. He’s so naturally charming, you’ll always root for him; but he can really bring the edge, the darkness, the rage. From the looks of Monkey Man, he can bring the thunder too.

Robert Pattinson: tall, lantern-jawed, traditionally gorgeous, with immaculate hair. He’s a superb actor, he can wear the hell out of a suit, he can be funny if he needs to be, he’s not afraid to puncture his own aura, and he’s cool in a Vintage Brad Pitt kind of way. However: can a person be both Batman and Bond?

John Boyega: arguably a bit shorter and scrappier than the other actors on this list, Boyega nevertheless is both a tremendous actor and a ball of screen-incinerating charisma. The Force Awakens really showed how, when put to good use, he can charm anyone off the screen – even, just about, Harrison Ford. I’m not really sure he’d want to be Bond, mind, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

Connor Swindells: possibly one of the lesser-known names on the list, and also one of the youngest; he’s part of the ensemble of Sex Education, where he’s very good indeed. He’s also a big, broad, square-jawed fella with a look of John Cena about him; he’d definitely convince as a buff, tough Bond. But he can do sweet and vulnerable incredibly well.

Will Poulter: like Daniel Craig, he probably wouldn’t be everyone’s first thought when it came to Bond; but like Craig, he’s got depths and charm galore. He can be supremely likeable very easily, but also play layers of depth and darkness. And I don’t know if you’ve seen him lately, but he’s hench now. If he’s not Bond, they really need to give him an Adam Warlock solo movie.

Paul Mescal: Mr. Flavour-of-the-Month, he’s the hot new star on the rise. He’s young, good-looking, charismatic; he has a glint in his eye, oodles of charisma. He’s about to star in the sequel to Gladiator, when he’s sure to look ripped with his shirt off and garner even more fans. In fact, it’s quite likely that he’s so hot right now, that there’s no way he’d do Bond. But he’d be good at it.

Nicholas Hoult: what can’t he do? Everyone’s favourite War Boy has the tall, lithe physique, plus a playful, flirtatious sense of humour that makes him convincing as a romantic lead. He made being a zombie sexy, for flip’s sake. And he can do the action stuff. In short, he’d be terrific, but he’s probably going to be too busy terrorising Superman for the foreseeable.

#top ten #films #movies #bond #james bond #007 #eon #daniel crai #actors #a list of actors who could play bond

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #628

Top Ten Fox Marvel Movies – Part One!

Hey guys! I was totally stumped about what to write this week, and started planning – I’m not kidding – three or four different lists. I don’t remember the last time that happened.

One of the problems was that I’ve been really pressed for time – busy with work, busy in the evenings, also trying to prioritise writing my book – so didn’t really get started on this list until I didn’t have enough time to write it (which is one of the reasons it’s going up on a Saturday evening instead of the morning as usual). And a lot of the ideas I had that I really liked needed a bit more rumination and explanation – basically, more waffle – so I didn’t want to do them till I had time.

And then I had a brainwave! You see, I have rather foolishly decided to attempt (crucial word that: attempt) to rewatch all of the Fox Marvel movies ahead of the release of Deadpool and Wolverine this summer. Why? Well, because it appears from the images and trailer that this film is going to be rather metatextually discussing the demise of the Fox Marvel universe (or “universes”, plural, I suppose; there’s no indication that any of their franchises share one overall world). In the trailer, it looks like there’s a partially submerged 20th Century Fox logo in the ground, Ozymandias­-style; and we know that several characters from the Fox X-Men movies are going to show up (outside the regular Deadpool cast we’ve seen Wolverine and Pyro), and characters from the other Marvel properties Fox had the rights to are heavily rumoured to be putting in appearances (Elektra, for instance). So it’s going to be – I imagine – at least in part a two-fingered farewell to an entire era of filmmaking that stretches from the first X-Men movie in 2000 to, I guess, The New Mutants in 2020 (technically released by Disney after the Fox acquisition but produced prior), taking in detours featuring Daredevil, Elektra, and two different incarnations of the Fantastic Four.

Anyway! Like I said, I’m gonna rewatch them all. But wouldn’t it be interesting if I ranked them now, from memory, and then again, after I’ve seen them all? Will anything change? Will some of them have slipped down my mental chart, age withering them in the face of more nuanced and exciting interpretations of superhero stories? Or have some of them actually improved over time, their handling of storylines or characters actually seeming more entertaining or interesting than some of the dreck that’s slid down the cinema chute wearing a tattered cape and being directed by Zack Snyder?

(that felt mean, sorry)

So that’s what I’m going to do – my first intentional two-part Top Ten, I think. One now, one later – probably (hopefully) near D&W’s release; what I remember of the Fox Marvel movies, and then what I think upon a rewatch. Now, by my reckoning, this is a total of eighteen films, most of which I’ve seen before, and even disregarding those I’ve not seen, includes at least two that are utterly shite. But it does mean I get to see Deadpool call Cable “One-Eyed Willy” again.

See you in July!

Logan (2017): a languid, sepia-tinged meditation on mortality, failure, and legacy; it’s the superhero equivalent of Unforgiven, a melancholy Western starring a repentant man with a history of violence. As a swansong to one of the most iconic comic book roles of all time, it gives Jackman plenty to chew on, and in his relationships both with a deteriorating Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart on Awards-worthy form) and especially his equally-feral daughter Laura (Dafne Keen) it shows Logan’s heart and empathy underneath his violent exterior. Earns its R-rating. A masterpiece, and easily – easily – one of the greatest comic-book movies of all time.

X2 (2003): taking the pieces placed on the board in the first film, this one really ups the stakes and was the first time one of these “modern” superhero movies really felt like an epic comic-book arc. Morally complex and offering teasing revelations about central characters, it also has some truly incredible visuals, such as Nightcrawler’s opening attack on the White House.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014): uniting the two strands of Fox’s X-Movies, we have a post-apocalyptic future rendered in stunning fashion with shape-changing Sentinels hunting our beleaguered heroes, before Logan journeys into the past to change things. Features an incredible performance by Peter Dinklage, some tremendous action scenes (Quicksilver rescuing Magneto!) and an impressive ripped Hugh Jackman.

Deadpool (2016): no one was sure it would work, taking a cult comic character, giving him his own movie, and allowing him to be filthy, violent, and decidedly R-rated, throwing the middle-finger up at not just Fox’s comic-book universe but all superhero films and, well, all popular culture. But Ryan Reynolds’ perfect performance and some truly impressive action sequences turned it into the X-Men’s biggest hit.

Deadpool 2 (2018): just a gnat’s wing under its predecessor as it lacks the first films taut structure, meandering through a few plot dead-ends before tying it back together in a series of incredible sequences (the choir singing “oh holy shitballs” during the fight with Juggernaut is hilarious).

X-Men (2000): the first film does an incredible job of creating the whole X-Men universe, using both the world-weary Logan and the naïve Rogue as the audience’s eyes, introducing us all to the concept of mutants, the X-Men, the Brotherhood of Mutants, and the nuanced, dynamic rivalry between Xavier and Magneto. Jackman burns through the screen with the white-hot intensity of a supernova, eclipsing almost everyone else, although McKellen gets to chew scenery like he’s not eaten in a week.

X-Men: First Class (2011): after the initial X-Men films seemed burned out with the lacklustre (to say the least) The Last Stand and Origins (see below!), Matthew Vaughn gave the whole concept a period-centric shot in the arm. Younger, vibrant versions of our main characters popped up in the swinging sixties, with a flair that echoed the Bond movies that exist only in our heads, a plot that roped in contemporary geo-politics, and one of the greatest cameos in history. Along with a whole heap of continuity errors if you try to marry it with all the other films, which they decided to do anyway.

Fantastic Four (2005): oh look, not an X-Men film. This film is bright, colourful, and fun, a world away from the sombre stylings of Patrick Stewart and co. There’s a sunny optimism to it; it’s more redolent of family films of the era, with a largely young, attractive cast (including a pre-Cap Chris Evans as the Human Torch!). Lightweight, sure, but it’s not a bad time at the flicks.

Daredevil (2003): somewhat (okay, entirely) eclipsed by the Netflix series starring Charlie Cox, this was the first of Ben Affleck’s two ill-fated attempts to be a dark avenging superhero of the night. His Matt Murdock is quippy in the day and dressed in skintight leather at night, the fight scenes drenched in both rain and post-Matrix slow-mo. Does have a great kissing-in-the-rain sequence to sit alongside Spider-Man’s, though.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009): yeah, we’re really scraping the barrel now of the ones I’ve seen. This just edged out Dark Phoenix by a whisper, but is still mostly a disappointing mish-mash of different stories, making Logan a very reactive character as it skims full-speed through aspects of his origin and introduces us to tons of mutants who are then summarily killed. Still, it gave us Reynolds’ first outing as a pre-Deadpool Wade Wilson, and mutants played by Will I. Am and the Mancunian hobbit.

#top ten #films #movies #fox #20th century fox #marvel #mcu #x-men #logan #fantastic four #daredevil #disney #comics

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #627

Top Ten Oscar Runners-Up of My Lifetime

Hooray for Hollywood! It’s the Oscars this weekend, so I thought I’d write about them. I’ve done it before and by crikey I’ll do it again.

So one of the things I like about the Oscars is the way they sort of exist as something we can push back against. Because the films that usually win – at least for the last, I dunno, twenty or thirty years – are sort of “Oscar films”. Generally speaking, Jurassic Park is never going to win an Oscar, y’know? Star Wars lost to Annie Hall in 1978, and even setting aside the Woody Allen of it, I’ve seen both films and Star Wars is not only better but is more important in terms of the history of cinema and its importance to popular culture. So it should have won, but of course it didn’t, because an out-and-out sci-fi film has never won, unless you count Everything Everywhere All at Once last year, which of course is a sci-fi film but is a very different sort of film to Star Wars (although, in fairness, we should acknowledge how bloody weird it is, and therefore give the Academy some credit).

Anyway, regardless of whether a film “deserves” to win or not (because what is art if not eternally subjective?), part of the whole sport of the Oscars – and, indeed, any major awards ceremony, from the BAFTAs to the Brits to that time I won a Promax Gold – is disagreeing with the eventual victor and wishing that something else had won instead (I’m sure there were other really good promos made in 2013). And that’s what I’m celebrating today – the films that didn’t win.

I want to make clear though: this isn’t an “alternate universe” thing, where the runners-up are the victors. Nor is it to say that these films are, really, any better than the winning films. What I’m doing is ranking my favourite films that lost out to a Best Picture Oscar. And, of course, to lose Best Picture you must first be nominated for Best Picture. So these are all films that were in contention, but didn’t get to take home the naked bald man. Again, I’m not saying they were the best – although in most cases I do actually think they’re better than the eventual winner – they’re just my favourite of the non-winning nominees.

Partly by accident and partly by design, I’m only picking one film per year. And to make my life easier, I’ve just gone for ceremonies that I was actually alive for; although I doubt I was paying too much attention to the 1982 Oscars, to be fair, as I was probably about ten weeks old. And that’s that! There are some very famous – infamous, even – runners-up here; again, I think that’s both part of the fun and part of Oscar legend.

And the nominees are…

L.A. Confidential (1997) – lost to Titanic (1997): Confidential means a lot to me because not only is it bloody good but it’s the first film my now-wife and I ever saw together (even if, er, we weren’t going out at the time). Regardless, it’s just fantastic, a dark sunlit noir full of interesting flawed characters, a dense conspiracy-addled plot, some shocking twists, and a nuanced dissection of power and the media.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) – lost to Gandhi (1982): where to start with E.T., the heartwarming, heartbreaking fantasy sci-fi fable that’s also autobiographical and also so utterly about being a kid in the eighties? Every single aspect of it, from the cinematography to the junior performances to the special effects to the music to, well, everything, just hums with quality and empathy.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) – lost to Spotlight (2015): it’s so unlikely to consider that Fury Road might have won that I can’t be too sad it didn’t. I do think, though, that George Miller’s achievements marshalling the chaos into a film so propulsive, so beautiful, and so batshit should have been rewarded with Best Director. Anyway; the best Mad Max by a mile, which is really saying something.

Toy Story 3 (2010) – lost to The King’s Speech (2010): an animated film has never won Best Picture, and almost certainly never will since the Best Animated Film category was created. But the second-best Toy Story deserved to romp home; a melancholy tale of ageing and obsolescence, of our children carrying on without us, about the need for all generations to let go of the past, to chart a new future, and also about collectivism and social order and authoritarianism and togetherness and the families we build. And cinema’s second-best Ken.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994) – lost to Forrest Gump (1994): when I was a Baby Film Nerd, the big dialogue was Gump versus Pulp Fiction. Everyone knew that Tarantino was robbed, and that this soppy, small-c conservative pean to being a Boomer did not deserve Pulp’s gongs. But then you get older and you realise that the tragically uplifting masterpiece that is Shawshank is a better film than either of them.  

A Few Good Men (1992) – lost to Unforgiven (1992): I don’t think Rob Reiner has won an Oscar, despite making (deep breath) Spinal Tap, Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, The American President, and lots more besides. This courtroom drama is a precision-tooled piece of moviemaking, harnessing star power and screen charisma, turning Aaron Sorkin’s script into cinematic perfection. Unforgiven’s still pretty good, mind.

Goodfellas (1990) – lost to Dances With Wolves (1990): if there was one guy who was always the bridesmaid, it was Scorsese; the list of films he directed that were “best runner-up” is pretty long. Here, though, we have his sumptuous crime epic, a dissection of mob life and excess that is just a minute-by-minute marvel to behold. More like Greatfellas, amirite?

There Will Be Blood (2007) – lost to No Country for Old Men (2007): we were properly spoilt for choice when it came to deeply dark neo-Westerns at the 2008 ceremony. The Coen brothers took home the laurels, but Paul Thomas Anderson’s brutal, widescreen expose of the American dream is both sumptuous and stunning, with a complex and compelling central performance by Daniel Day Lewis (who did win an Oscar).

Beauty and the Beast (1991) – lost to The Silence of the Lambs (1991): the first animated film to be nominated for Best Picture, and the only one before the Academy upped the number of nominees from five to a maximum of ten. Arguably Disney’s best film of the renaissance era, it marked the fully-fledged Broadway-isation of the franchise, with huge musical numbers that felt like they tripped off the stage – plus, of course, requisite fantastical Disney magic that could only be animated. Anyway, it’s amazing.

Apollo 13 (1995) – lost to Braveheart (1995): Ron Howard’s best film is an unsentimental procedural about very smart people doing very smart things in a moment of high drama. Manages to be tense and compelling even though we know what happens at the end. Just exquisitely made from beginning to end, with tremendous performances.

Okay, so one more thing, maybe you noticed; but I decided to omit from consideration the first two Lord of the Rings films, The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers. This is because Return of the King cleaned up in 2004 (Christ, twenty years ago), and I think we can all agree that it was accepting on behalf of the entire trilogy. So it feels a bit churlish to complain that the other two films didn’t win, even if they were actually my favourite films from their respective years (and even though my overall favourite of the trilogy is still Fellowship). So I’m letting them slide today, because really, spiritually, they were winners in 2004. Even though in actuality they were big fat losers.

#top ten #films #movies #cinema #oscars #academy awards #oscars 2024 #awards #academy

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #626

Top Ten Arctic Monkey Songs

This is a list I’ve been planning for ages and ages. Originally it was going to go up around the time I saw the band live last year; I can’t remember now why I postponed it. But – long way round – here we are at last.

Anyway, I like this band. I vividly remember the first time I heard them. As I’ve said a million times on this blog, I’m not much of a muso; I don’t follow “the scene”, I don’t pay much attention at all to music unless I like it. So I come to stuff very late, I don’t know what’s from what album, I’ve got very little knowledge of a lot of music history, that sort of thing. So when I first heard I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor played one day on Radio 1 as I was walking around Birmingham, on some errand for the BBC’s daytime show Mind Your Own Business, I assumed it was an older track; maybe something from The Clash that I was supposed to already have heard a million times in my youth. But no. It was new.

It was stunning. I’d never heard anything like that – not a new song, not recently. It was vibrant and full of life, and it was fun, and it was funny, and it was fast and loud. There wasn’t really a lot of stuff like it back then; we were still in the post-Britpop doldrums, the Pop Idol-era of ballads and fluff, where guitar bands seemed to be unpopular. At least, that’s what it seemed like to me; as I said, I just sort of bump up against music accidentally until it gets its hooks into me.

Ever since then I’ve loved them. If maybe in recent years they’ve settled into a sort of rhythm of often-weird concept albums and more melancholy work, they still kick out a fair few bangers every album. They are, I think, the only band I’ve ever seen live more than once – like I said, I don’t really “do” music, I “do” in-depth analyses of what the “S” on Superman’s suit looks like (not that those things are mutually exclusive, of course). But it’s been fascinating watching them grow and evolve, not just musically but culturally, as they become megastars. They’re part of the firmament now; veteran British rockers. My kids will probably look at them the way I look at the Rolling Stones, or something. Crazy.

Anyway, here are my favourites of their songs. I make no apologies for most of these coming from their earlier albums; like I said, I think as they’ve gone a bit slower and more melancholically-introspective, even if I’ve appreciated their stuff, it hasn’t quite got its hooks into me the way their early work did. Also, y’know, I’m not 24 anymore, absorbing this stuff with a fresh sense of a world undiscovered.

So there you go.

I’m going to eschew my usual individual dissection this week; I like writing about the things in my list, but here I feel it hard to parse the differences between the songs for some reason. So instead I say, let’s just enjoy them all; a little smorgasbord of northern musical delights. Suck it and see, and all that.

I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor (2005)

Cornerstone (2009)

When the Sun Goes Down (2006)

Fluorescent Adolescent (2007)

A Certain Romance (2006)

505 (2007)

Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair (2011)

Suck It and See (2011)

Brick by Brick (2011)

Mardy Bum (2006)

Fluorescent Adolescent is the best video though, we can all agree on that, right?

#top ten #music #songs #rock #arctic monkeys

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #625

Top Ten People Who Could Play Doctor Doom

Hey, did you see that they finally announced the cast for The Fantastic Four?

The official MCU debut of “Marvel’s First Family” has been a long time coming, and very much anticipated. With the original roster of movie Avengers mostly checking out, fans have eagerly awaited the comic book Big Guns coming out to play; specifically, the Fantastic Four and the X-Men, two teams that are iconic in printed form and have vast storytelling potential.

The reveal – a beautiful piece of artwork showing the FF together in the Baxter Building, the actors’ likenesses rendered in brushstroke – was subtle but effective, and immediately had nerds poring over the picture to deduce plot details. The biggest takeaway was that the film appears to be set in the 1960s; possibly 1963, which was a Pretty Significant Year. If it is a period piece, what does that mean for established Marvel continuity? Are they somehow from “our” past, but lost in time and forgotten? Or – and this is my personal theory – are they in a parallel universe, another branch of the Sacred Timeline, and come Secret Wars they’ll end up in our universe too?

Anyway, now we know which actor will be adding flour to the sides of their head to play Mr. Fantastic, inevitably we all move our attention along to the next thing. Because the FF themselves are only part of the story; every hero needs a villain, and in the Marvel Universe Big Bads don’t come much bigger or badder than the Fantastic Four’s erstwhile nemesis, Doctor Doom. Presumably if we have the FF, then we have to have Doom, and that’s a hell of a big deal. Doom if such a huge, iconic, powerful villain, that Marvel have to get this right or the whole thing could fall apart. What happened with Kang – both the perceived disappointment of Quantumania and the sad fallout of Jonathan Majors’ personal behaviour – has, presumably, scuppered that character as a going concern; indeed, it’s all but certain now that the next Avengers movie – originally unveiled as The Kang Dynasty and heavily teased by Quantumania’s post-credit scene – is currently being feverishly reworked, and we could see both Avengers movies getting pushed back to accommodate the changes.

This can’t happen with Doom.

So, who can play Victor Von Doom, monarch of Latveria, technical genius, actual wizard, and wearer of the nattiest suit of armour this side of Stark Industries? It’s a tough one. Presumably – I mean, it’s an adaptation so anything goes – they need to be of an age with Pedro Pascal, who plays Reed Richards, as the two characters knew each other in college. But, y’know, that’s not a deal-breaker. All the same, I wouldn’t want some young whippersnapper in the role. So yeah, a guy in his late forties or his fifties, who can do menacing and imposing, who has some gravitas, but – crucially – can offer nuance and shade. Because Doom is a complex and interesting character, who’s not just a moustache-twirling supervillain. They have to have enough presence – and a cool enough speaking voice – to be able to emote behind a metal faceplate for, well, potentially the entirety of their time playing the character. It’s ironic that Pascal has already been cast as Doom’s great nemesis, really; he’s got form for essentially voicing a character in live-action.

One other wrinkle is Doom’s ethnicity. In the comics, he’s Romani; ideally, you’d want that to be maintained. Except I don’t actually know of any very prominent, A-list Hollywood actors of Romani descent. So how do you square that circle? Do a wider casting call to find less-known actors? Or just cast as appropriately as possible, hire writers or researchers with Romani heritage, and try to deal with it as respectfully as you can? I don’t know, really; I’m neither sufficiently knowledgeable about all of Hollywood, or the Romani to be able to answer that. So, well, I’ve kinda ignored it here. These are just ten guys.

(speaking of prominent Romani characters in comic books, Nightwing also has Romani heritage, on his mum’s side; as he’s probably going to appear in The Brave and the Bold before too long, and is of course a much younger character on whom less of the plot rests, I think you really could go all-out to cast a virtual unknown actor of Romani descent. That’d be cool)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, ten guys who could be Doom. Just picture them arguing with Squirrel Girl and you’ll get the picture.

Nicolas Cage: he’s a superstar. He’s a comic book fan. He’s an action hero. He’s a fantastic actor. And look: he can just go for it. I don’t think I need to say any more; think about it. Picture it. Nicolas Cage, doing Nicolas Cage, intoning lines like “Doom shall be master of the Earth!” One. Billion. Dollars.

Keanu Reeves: he can be imposing physically, but he has a sense of serenity that can be menacing if required. He’s not played many out-and-out bad guys before; imagine him channelling his John Wick intensity into pure malevolence? Only downside is there’s probably a sizeable portion of the planet who’d be very annoyed if we never saw his face.

Jason Isaacs: Isaacs, of course, has form playing buggers and baddies – he’s Hook, for goodness’ sake. He can spit venom with the best of them – he’s Rickman-level in terms of being, well, a British bad guy. He’s tall, he looks tough, he can be thoroughly charming when he needs to be, he’s a very good actor, and I think he deserves a role that properly turns him into a superstar.

Adrian Brody: a very good actor who’s mostly shied away from large-scale blockbuster filmmaking, he could bring a sense of wiry intensity to the role. He could totally nail Doom’s sense of superiority and also his insecurities, and Predators showed how he can handle the physical side of the role (he’s a tank in that movie).

Peter Stormare: Stormare is a bit older than all these other actors. But given that Doom has his face covered most of the time, it’s possible (likely?) that a lot of the physical stuff could be done by body doubles, Mando-style (let’s face it, a Thing-vs-Doom fight scene is probably mostly going to be CGI). Stormare can deliver thickly menacing dialogue but is also incredibly funny when called upon, giving Doom a deliciously wry delivery that could make him as charming as he is threatening. Also, let’s discuss accents; I guess Doom should sound like he’s from Eastern or Central Europe? Swedish Stormare is often called upon to play Russian, I’m sure he could do Latverian. But I’ve not worried too much about accents; someone like Isaacs or Brody could change it up I’m sure, but even if Doom sounded like Keanu Reeves you could just say he was educated in the US or something. It’s, y’know… not real.

Joaquin Phoenix: is it a bit first-base to have the Joker play Doctor Doom? Whatever, we know Phoenix could do this; he excels at morally-complex characters where he can double down on shades of grey. He’s very funny. He can do snarling malevolence – his Commodus in Gladiator is a comic book villain for the ages. And his casting would be big news; he’d bring a real sense of gravitas and importance to the role. But would he want to commit to multiple films for maybe a decade or more?

John Hamm: one of the things about Doom is that we never see his face; we know he used to be attractive, but is he scarred and deformed, or is it vanity that causes him to cover up (different stories suggest both or either). So casting someone very good-looking would be interesting. Hamm can do mean and arsey, and he can be very funny and charming; can he be evil? It’d be interesting to find out.

Claes Bang: perhaps an outlier on this list otherwise filled with A-list Hollywood talent, Bang would be a very interesting choice. A Danish actor with a perfect English accent, he’s probably best known over here as Dracula in the two-thirds-good Moffat/Gatiss adaptation. So we know he can play charming, devilish evil. Frankly he deserves a shot at a big Hollywood bad guy.

Denzel Washington: now we’re getting into the realms of feverish fanboy speculation and/or wish fulfilment. Washington – again, a fair bit older than most of these guys – is probably the greatest living screen actor. He can do anything. He could play Doom in a heartbeat; the nuance, the foibles, the inner pain, the bravado. And then he could get all Equalizer when the time came for action. Wouldhe want to, though?

Tom Cruise: ah, here we go. Yes, alright, let’s get it out of the way: he’s not as physical imposing as some of these other guys. But he’s Tom Cruise. Imagine Cruise as a vainglorious, egotistical tyrant-wizard-king, utterly convinced of his eternal rightness, waging war on, well, creation itself. He’s almost perfect to convey that sense of the character. He’s not bad at accents, either (erm, ignore Far and Away). He’s a relentless action star. He seems to be trying to transition into more, I guess, sedate fair; perhaps he’s hung up his IMF badge. Would he take the jump into a franchise, playing a major role? It’d be fascinating.  

Something that’s worth stating is there are quite a few actors – Mads Mikkelson, say – who’ve been, I don’t wanna say wasted exactly, but who are already “used up” as a Marvel villain. It’s a shame, given the size and scope of the MCU nowadays, that certain actors cropped up in one film just once and not given the chance to shine as an ongoing character. I mean, Idris Elba – a relatively small supporting character in Thor movies -  would have been great as Captain Britain, y’know? Or really anyone.

#top ten #marvel #mcu #doctor doom #the fantastic four #films #comics #movies #avengers

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #624

Top Ten Things I Want from the Switch 2

Peering behind the curtain a little bit this week, it does feel a bit strange to be discussing the Switch when it’s really the Xbox that’s dominating headlines. At the time of writing, we’re coming off a couple of weeks of frenzied speculation about Microsoft – all their games are going multiplatform! They’re leaving the hardware market entirely! – that ended with a fairly nondescript announcement video which doesn’t feel like it’s changing the status quo too much. There’s some interesting discussion to be had about Microsoft’s approach; and, given how happy Sony seem to be about the PC releases of some of their big exclusives, I guess you could argue that the age of massive first-party games being tied to one particular piece of hardware is well and truly over.

Well, apart from Nintendo.

Nintendo have operated in their own space at their own speed for about the last twenty years now. Long gone are the days when it felt like the company was locked into the bitter console war arms race; once Sony out-performed them in the nineties, they had great success doing their own thing. The DS, the Wii, and the Switch have been massive, and their games remain as good as ever. And now it’s more or less an open secret that they’re going to be releasing a successor to the Switch very soon; rumoured for ages, teased and hyped and – to some extent – leaked. Finally, if rumours are to be believed, it’ll be out in about twelve months; a disturbingly speedy-feeling seven whole years since the original Switch launched. It looks like, finally, we’re getting a proper Switch 2.

And so – because I’d already planned this in advance and because unpicking the minutiae of the Xbox announcement requires a bit more nuance and, well, time – I’m going to list ten things that I hope whatever the successor to the Switch does. As it’s Nintendo, I imagine there’ll be some wrinkles and quirks; they very rarely do “the same again but better”, even though I think that’s really all that most fans want nowadays. Nintendo are masters at coming up with stuff that we don’t know we want, however; who could have predicted the runaway success of the Wii when we first saw that nondescript image of its controller? Anyway, I’ve got no idea what new gameplay gimmicks or revolutionary play mechanics they’re going to pull out of their enormous green pipe. But I still have some thoughts about stuff that I do want to see. And that’s what this list is! Not very complicated this week.

Still be a Switch: I can’t imagine Nintendo moving away from the concept, but a console that remains a handheld which can be docked to allow to allow for connection to a TV feels like an essential component of, well, Nintendo itself. They’ve always had a handheld and a home console, since the NES and the Game Boy in the eighties; now they’ve married the two so successfully, I can’t see them separating. And nor should they.

Have better graphics: I mean, this is a given, right? The Steam Deck can run almost every PC game you throw at it with a form factor not much larger than the Switch; sure, it’s not exactly a current-gen console in terms of visual quality (and, being a PC, means performance can be variable), but it proves that Nintendo can deliver much greater visual fidelity in a next-gen Switch. I’d hope they’d be able to produce a 4K output when docked, even though I imagine stuff like ray-tracing is off the cards.

Have an SSD: I can’t remember what the “leaked” specs were saying about this, but one of the things that puts me off using the Switch is my impatience when it’s loading. Animal Crossing in particular is a game that just feels like it takes forever to boot up. With all the other consoles, and most modern PCs, all sporting lightning-quick SSDs, Nintendo really needs to adopt the technology.

Be fully backwards-compatible: we’re increasingly moving into an era where we want to keep our game library active; the idea of a generation ending and a new one beginning with no crossover is probably gone for good. So I think Nintendo has to allow us to play current-gen Switch games on their next console; this means our existing digital library crosses over, and also that we can plug in all our Switch game cards and jump back in. To be fair, Nintendo is usually pretty good in this area, and rumours are the new Switch will be no different.

…and make old games look better: tied into being backwards compatible, I’d like to see something approaching the upscaling (and even frame rate-boosting) that contemporary consoles manage. Xbox especially is great in this area – even having one purchase of a game giving you access to (potentially) an Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, and PC version. Regardless, the possibility of playing years-old games such as Breath of the Wild or Mario Kart 8 in 4K and 60fps is very appealing.

Give us better profiles: one thing that I love about Xbox (and PlayStation, and Steam, for that matter) is the way they handle user accounts. Nintendo has sign-ins and profiles, but they’re rudimentary; it feels almost like it’s just a way of keeping tabs on whose save is active. I’d love it if we could get much better Nintendo accounts, especially as they’re going to be carried across two generations of the Switch. Can we have cloud saves, so we can carry our Zelda progress to the new machine? What about leaderboards or stat tracking? What if – hear me out – we had some kind of Nintendo version of achievements or trophies? Basically I want to feel like “this is my identity in the Nintendo ecosystem”, if that makes sense.

…with some added bells and whistles: it’s pretty great, to be fair, that you already get access to older games from previous generations through your annual Nintendo subscription. But I’d like this to go further. PlayStation and especially Xbox give you loads of benefits from your subscription; obviously the biggie here is Game Pass, which gives you “free” access to brand-new games. Perhaps a selection of relatively recent “classic” games could be incorporated into the “Expansion Pack” subscription? Or at the very least, bring GameCube-era games to the service. I’d also, personally, like it if they ventured into streaming; maybe we don’t need to install those old NES and SNES games to play them? Other perks – discounts at the store, for example – would be really nice too.

Make the touchscreen more useful: the Switch touchscreen is all well and good, but generally speaking it’s only useful to navigate the dashboard or type your credit card number into the store. Having some kind of system-level “touching the screen is equivalent to pressing A” would be useful, at the very least in menus (tapping the screen rather than navigating with the sticks). More games that really made use of the touchscreen would be good, especially in strategy games. But what would really be impressive is if they could replicate the “virtual controller” that Xbox have when streaming on mobile – with the sticks and buttons replicated on screen – even though I guess it’d be a rare occasion when you’d be playing without the Joy Cons attached.

Improve the Joy Cons: speaking of which – they’re a bit flaky, aren’t they? The whole technological concept of the Switch, with its removable controllers that contain a whole lot of gubbins, is still impressive; but if there’s a weak link, it’s definitely the Joy Cons. Tiny and prone to breaking (and with “stick drift” seemingly inevitable), they’re also fiddly to get on and off. Making them physically more robust, perhaps a bit larger if possible, and tweaking the removal/reattachment process would all be very nice decisions.

Don’t call it the “Switch 2”: yeah, that’s a really boring name. Only Sony can get away with that stuff without it seeming derivative or uninspired. Personally I’m in favour of “Super Switch”, but I’m a nineties kid. Ultra Switch? Switch Pro? You want it to feel like a proper generational leap; I always felt Wii U, and the console’s close physical similarity to its predecessor, made it feel more like an add-on than a replacement. It’d be cool if they could think of a name that echoed its predecessor without adding a suffix, although I’m stumped trying to think of an example. “Switcheroo”?

There ya go. Ten things I’d like to see. Other ideas bubbling under: USB disc drive to allow direct compatibility with GameCube, Wii, and Wii U games; bringing back the Wii Fit balance board; and having video apps such as iPlayer and Netflix.

Anyway, can’t wait to find out exactly what it is, what it’s called, and what it costs.

#top ten #games #gaming #nintendo #console #nes #snes #gamecube #wii #switch #switch 2 #new switch

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #623

Top Ten Songs According to Daughter #2

It’s one of those times where I hand over to one of my adorable offspring and get them to do my work for me. This week: Daughter #2, who has a birthday somewhere around now. When I mentioned the possibility of her doing a list, she very quickly latched onto the idea of doing her favourite songs. And so that’s what this is.

I guess it’s been rather a musical year for her. I feel like both my kids have properly “discovered” music in the last year or so. Don’t get me wrong, my end-of-year Spotify rankings have been heavily skewed by whatever they’re listening to for a while now; but their tastes and preoccupations became very evident in 2023. For the youngest of my brood, that solidified around pop in general and Taylor Swift in particular.

I think it was a good year to be a Swifty (Swiftie? Swiftee?), what with her all-conquering Eras tour and its barnstorming movie release. It also continues to be a profitable period for Olivia Rodrigo, whose second album Guts solidified the success of Sour. All this is to say that Daughter #2’s musical taste du jour has featured a lot of good songs doing good business. It’s funny, actually, when your kids go off and discover songs on their own, coming back with tastes and knowledge of stuff you’ve never really heard of – entire artists, even. And, yeah, a lot of this is circling the same genre – it’s almost entirely female American pop – but still, she came to almost all of this of her own accord.

So here we are – a list of the favourite songs of my second-born child. That’s all there is to it, nothing more to say. Enjoy!

Love Story, Taylor Swift (2008)

Drivers License, Olivia Rodrigo (2021)

Vampire, Olivia Rodrigo (2023)

California Gurls, Katy Perry (2010)

Shake it Off, Taylor Swift (2014)

Lover, Taylor Swift (2019)

Karma, Taylor Swift (2022)

Dance Monkey, Tones & I (2019)

Anti-Hero, Taylor Swift (2022)

Roar, Katie Perry (2013)

Also I’ve never seen most of those music videos before and some of them are bonkers.

#top ten #daughter 2 #birthday #my daughter wrote this list #songs #music #pop music #taylor swift #katy perry #olivia rodrigo #tones & I #whoever that is

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #622

Top Ten Bon Jovi Songs

There are a few things I want to celebrate around this time of year; that is, a few things I can hang a Top Ten hat on. My wife’s birthday, for one; and Valentine’s Day just around the corner. I also have a daughter who has a birthday, but I tend to turn the whole list over to my kids nowadays for their birthdays, so that might happen fairly soon too. Anyway, I was trying to think of things that felt a bit soppy or romantic this week, and I settled on a long-haired singer in his sixties.

I’ve always liked Bon Jovi, even before I really knew who they were. When I was a teenager, I discovered that – apparently – they weren’t really “cool” to like. I was a bit disappointed by that, but it didn’t faze me; I was never cool anyway. At the time, their melodramatic, emotional fusion of sentimental Americana and power chords was properly in my wheelhouse (see also: Meat Loaf and Bryan Adams – who, yes, is Canadian, but you see where I’m coming from). And so it has remained; if anything, my love for this whole genre and its adjacent musical styles (you can pop off in different directions and hit Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Cash, or Metallica) has only grown and solidified. Sometimes I like my soft sad songs; sometimes I like a bit of distorted guitar. Acts like Bon Jovi (and, indeed, my beloved Bad Seeds) frequently do both.

Anyway, eventually I met my wife (technically we weren’t married at the time) and it turns out she’s a massive Bon Jovi fan. So now, as well as my general appreciation for them, it’s added to by the fact that they were one of her big favourites growing up. Back in the days of CDs (remember them?) she had loads of Bon Jovi, I had loads of Nick Cave; those were our things, I guess. So now as well as just liking them, it’s also something that I associate with my wife, too. Which adds to the resonance.

And so we come to this list: a celebration not only of a band I really like but also a person I’m quite fond of too. And no, I don’t mean John Francis Bongiovi Jr.

Bed of Roses (1992): so Bon Jovi tend to do either relatively heavy songs or soppy love ballads. This is the latter, but it’s a masterpiece of the genre, the mix of electric guitar and melancholy lyrics. There may be a sense of self-aggrandising tone to its tale of a musician on the road, it’s full of great imagery “my mistress she calls me to stand in her spotlight again”; and the chorus, and overall message, is beautiful and properly romantic.

Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night (1995): Bon Jovi specialises in songs about working-class Americans, and how hard life can be down on the breadline. This song is no exception, with allusions to prostitution and suicide; but as well as the upbeat and driving tune behind the dark lyrics, there’s also a terrific optimism to the whole thing – today sucks, but tomorrow might be better. And the way that’s expressed – “feeling like a Monday but someday I’ll be Saturday night” – is really great.

Last Man Standing (2004): okay, I know this is basically Jonny Bon telling us how amazing he is; and there’s very much a sense of Old Man Yells at Cloud about it. But man alive, I just adore it; the lyrics, painting an aging rocker as a superhero, are one thing, but it’s one of the most driving, rocky songs the band have produced.

(You Want To) Make a Memory (2007): another of their tender ballads, rather than being about a dedicated romantic away from their lover, it’s about a couple who might be about to embark on an affair. But it’s incredibly sweet and rather sexy, the vibe of a couple who’ve been just missing each other, or maybe let love get away, but now have a chance of happiness (“I see you reaching for your keys, looking for a reason not to leave”). And, yes, it’s pretty sexy; we all know what he means by “make a memory”.

Hey God (1995): the theme of life being a bit shit is very common in Bon Jovi’s oeuvre and here it is again. This time, though, it’s shot-through with righteous anger, the song a furious tirade against Creation itself, full of pissed-off people tearing strips off the Maker for the dark difficulties of life. “I saw a dying man too proud to beg spit on his own grave”; way to go full emo, Jon.

I’ll Be There For You (1989): probably occupying the middle ground between “soppy ballad” and “banging rock”, this has a pacy, loud, consistently driving beat, and even the soppy love lyrics are full of great imagery. Like Bed of Roses, the central motif is romantic; and like Make a Memory it’s rather sexy. There’s a heroic, almost sacrificial edge to the lyrics, and I’m very fond of the line “when you get drunk I’ll be the wine”.

Livin’ on a Prayer (1986): ah, probably the quintessential Bon Jovi track; one of the ones that really started it all. This is where we meet Tommy and Gina, down on their luck couple who love each other but can’t catch a break. It solidified the band’s preoccupation with the beaten-down strength of ordinary Americans wrestling with unfairness; and the music is great. The sense of optimism here is maybe a bit more forced than Saturday Night; yes, “we’ll make it I swear”, but it’s all hope and, well, prayers.

Real Life (1999): this one might just be for me. The song was featured in the underrated film EdTV, and features many allusions to both movies in particular but also heroic fantasies in general. It’s the juxtaposition of these images with the “real love” that causes pain that drives the song; but overall it’s just a fun listen.

Blaze of Glory (1990): this might feel like a cheat or a technicality, as Blaze of Glory is a solo album for Jon Bon Jovi, featuring songs from and inspired by Young Guns II. There’s a lot of great Western imagery, a motif Bon Jovi has used before (notably in Wanted Dead or Alive); but here it feels explicitly cowboy-y. There’s a darkness here that reflects the movie’s depiction of Billy the Kid; someone who knows eventually the violence will catch up with them.

Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen From Mars (2000): talking about “maybe it’s just me”, this is a really weird song. Okay, not quite Maxwell’s Silver Hammer-level oddness, but still; it’s daffy. Ostensibly a rather sweet song about a couple who are perfect together and draw strength from each other, it’s chock-full of strange imagery, whether it’s name-checking all manner of “celebrity” couples (from Fred and Ginger to Clyde and Bonnie) to the depiction of the central couple (dressed like Ziggy, wearing roller skates in bed, etc). Anyway, I dig it.

So that’s the list, but I also wanted to shout out a couple of songs from their most recent album, 2020 – American Reckoning and Unbroken. They might not quite hit the heights of some of their classics, but I do think it’s really good for a band the size and popularity of Bon Jovi to take such progressive stances, especially in this day and age, singing songs about police brutality. Given the type of music they play and the potential audience of it, it’s nice to see them wearing their hearts on their stonewashed sleeves.

#top ten #songs #music #bon jovi #jon bon jovi #80s rock #rock #he was also in that one episode of the west wing

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #621

Top Ten Things I’d Like from the Next Civilization Game

So I think I’ve concluded my reminiscing for the time being, and now I can start just plucking ideas for lists from the ether instead. Back to business as usual, fun-fans!

This is a list that I’ve been planning to do for a little while, pushing it back from a pre-Christmas slot to, well, now. And yet somehow it’s become rather more timely and prescient thanks to our good friends at Microsoft.

So, Sid Meier’s Civilization VI has got to be one of my favourite games of all time. I say “got to” because it’s quite possible I’ve played it more than anything else in the world; certainly more than any game in the last twenty years. Maybe, just maybe, I spent more time with Lemmings 2: The Tribes or Duke Nukem 3D or Command & Conquer: Red Alert; but, y’know what, probably not. Between the Steam and Xbox releases I reckon I’ve clocked up close to two thousand hours playing this damn game, and I agree that’s slightly worrisome. As such – and because I’ve played, to a greater or lesser extent, every Civ game that came before as well as quite a few spin-offs or reinterpretations of the format – I’ve got quite a lot of ideas and opinions about what works well, what works less so, and what I’d like to see from a brand new Civ title.

Considering Civ VI came out in 2017, and they’ve released about two dozen expansions for it since then, I do think we’re getting very close to an announcement of Civ VII. If I had to put money on it I’d say the game will actually be announced this year for a 2025 (or very early 2026) release. As such, I did want to get ahead of the curve, so to speak, by doing this list; the things I really want out of a new Civ. I’ve tried to be quietly realistic, here, by suggesting new features or tweaks or gameplay modes, rather than reinventing the wheel (literally or figuratively) and wishing for something that wasn’t really a Civ game.

And like I say, all this is rather timely, because we’ve recently been given an extended look at Ara: History Untold, the Civ­-inspired 4X game from Microsoft that’s coming to PC later this year (and, I imagine, Xbox consoles next year). As a huge Civ fan, I’m really intrigued by new takes on the classic formula; what a brand new game can do that wouldn’t really be possible in Civ without breaking what people love about the formula. Here we see civilisations growing and evolving on what appears to be a dynamic, living world, coping with the natural world. We’re promised a bit more dynamism; they’re calling it an “alternate history” game, so I hope that means you can develop steam-powered rockets like some kind of steampunk Tony Stark, but I imagine it won’t go quite that far. All the same, it’s interesting to see what new wrinkles they’re going to explore within a relatively similar framework. I do worry, however, that however good it is I’ll just bounce off it, like I did with the broadly similar Humankind recently, just because it’s not quite enough like Civ.

Anyway, with one eye on the competition, here, then, are my Top Ten things I’d like to see them do in the next proper Civ title. Your turn!

Better interface: generally speaking I think Civ VI is about as user-friendly as the series has been – although I do miss a little bit the days when it ran in a window. However, it can still be fiddly to keep track of everything. I think refining the controls around people also using keyboard commands or even a touch screen would be great; let us use arrow keys to navigate, make shortcuts more accessible, use contrasting colours the menus, and make it play well with a controller, too. I’m going to extend this to making sure that every bit of info you’re presented with – each turn’s new events – can be easily zoomed to and dealt with, more options automated and commands stacked.

Better diplomacy: the different leaders are always a highlight in Civ and their design and animation in Civ VI is terrific. But dealing with them is a complicated, often arbitrary muddle. Streamline this whole interface; make it very clear who’s who, what’s on the table, and what you want in return. Allow the creation of different types of alliance; I want to get dragged into a war because I’m friends with Nigeria, or something! Maybe create different dialogue options or “stances” you can adopt; I used to like the way you could force a war by constantly threatening or demanding things from other leaders.

Better religion: religion is quite a big topic in Civ games. I like the way it divorces any aspect of religion from the name or symbol of the faith; and also how your national identity can become attached to that religion. But it’s not very nuanced, and it makes less sense in the later stages of the game. Perhaps they should dispense with real-world religious references altogether, and have you begin the game by choosing to worship different pagan deities, with some kind of associated benefit? You want your cities to grow, so you worship a fertility god; you want to churn out troops so you worship a god of war. You could choose to become monotheistic, and eventually have no religion. Certainly it’d make more sense than having opposing clerics going to war in the year 2050.

More control over Great People and Great Works: the method for generating Great People organically – the more scientific buildings you build the more points you get towards a Great Scientist – makes sense. But I think they should give you more control; perhaps generating a Great Person is sort of like a project you undertake. Or perhaps their bonuses are less random; maybe they can all do certain tasks, like furthering research or aiding construction or spreading culture. The same with the Great Works, where it all just feels so random; you get points for having a museum with matching works of art, but it’s pot luck, and excavating archaeological sites is even worse. I’d love it if you could commission specific works, and trade them more readily; it’d be great if you became known for classical music or pottery or – yes – movies and TV, because I think they should allow that too.

False flags: because the penalties for starting a war can be so great, there should be more options for trying to be sneaky about it. You should be able to bribe or hire third parties – barbarians? City states? Rival civs? – to go to war on your behalf. You should be able to have small-scale defensive skirmishes without a full-blown war. But most of all I think you should be able, with a spy, to create a false pretext for war. This could be an attack on an ally’s territory or even – easier but costlier – an attack on your own civilization. This would allow you to wage war without reputational harm… unless your deception is discovered.

Individual social policies: I’ve already said how religion could be more nuanced, and so could the social or political aspects. At the moment you select individual forms of government that have associated benefits or negatives, but I think you should be able to structure your civilisation more intricately. For instance, you could dictate that you had no death penalty, or that your citizens had the right to bear arms, or you had free religion or you wouldn’t burn fossil fuel or… you get the picture. This way you build up your own form of government that reflects your idealised nation.

Sci-fi endgame: for years – decades, really – one of the big bugbears of Civ has been how the game eventually ossifies into just managing what you’ve got. Once all the exploration is out of the way there’s not much to do. So how about allowing you to construct underwater cities? Or build space stations? Basically, add about another hundred years’ worth of advancements so the end of the game feels like there’s still exploration and construction to do. And maybe give us more fantastical units, like space fighters or something.

Improve transport networks: one thing that I think is unnecessarily complicated in Civ VI is how you create transport networks and trade routes. I don’t mind you needing units to build them, but I think you should just be able to select two points and have them construct a route in between. Quite often you’re sending out traders just to build a road; I say separate the trading and the route-building. Having “shipping lanes” that can be intercepted by hostile forces is quite a nice touch; but maybe they can be generated by trading directly with other civilisations? Also, once you build airports I think you should be able to fly to other airports – including in other civs – with massive ease, making trade simpler and quicker (but worse for the environment!).

More options for districts: one big thing I hope they don’t do away with is having districts separate from cities. Not only does it look cool as you get this sort of urban sprawl, but it allows you to micromanage these separate areas. I think they should expand on this. Cultural districts should allow for the creation of “cultural assets” like works of art; scientific districts could instigate specific research projects. Perhaps different districts in different cities could specialise? Military districts have the option of defending your territory and bombarding enemies; I also think airports could be equipped with anti-aircraft defences, and seaports with the ability to bombard approaching vessels. Basically, go deep on districts and give us lots of cool options.

Tweak barbarians and city states: barbarians have always been one of the most game-y elements of Civ, and one that gets increasingly problematic. The imperial undertones of the game are made worse by having these little camps still popping up late in the game, sending forth red-hued baddies to harass you. I’m not keen on turning them into entire city states like you can in Civ VI; but maybe that’s because I’m not keen on city states in general. Large independent cities that can give good bonuses if befriended, I tend to find they just get in the way. Maybe part of the game could be trying to entice them to join your empire? Maybe a peaceful resolution to barbarians could be to get them to disband voluntarily? Or allow them to live as independent units – or even an independent city – within your borders? I’d love to see little tweaks like this, rather than still have raging baddies or massive cities stopping you getting access to resources.

#top ten #games #gaming #civ #civilization #humankind #ara history untold #xbox #pc #steam #firaxis

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #620

Top Ten Challenge: Top Ten Action Movies 2023

Yet again I’m doing a list that’s looking back and talking about the year that’s been and gone. But wait! For this is the latest in my Film Challenges.

At the beginning of 2022 I decided to have a kind of annual challenge with myself, where I’d try to watch as many of a particular kind of film as possible. The idea behind this was to try to deepen my knowledge of film. For instance, I’ve not seen many Alfred Hitchcock films; only about three or four and some quite a while ago. So I want to be more knowledgeable, for a whole bunch of reasons. Anyway, in 2022 I picked Westerns as the first genre of film to tackle. And I don’t think I did very well, only managing to watch a piddly 17 of the buggers.

2023 was a lot better, but then I made life a lot easier for myself. Because while I was searching Netflix for Westerns the previous year, I kept bumping into action movies and thrillers that I quite fancied watching. So for 2023 I picked Action Movies as my genre of choice.

And last year I watched 62 of them. I don’t think that’s a bad number at all.

Now, when I’m doing these, I’m not necessarily looking for the best of the best; nor am I attempting to only watch new films (well, new-to-me). I’m just sort of trying to get as broad a range of films before my eyes as possible; to just see loads and loads of action movies. And, yes, there is some attempt to cover the classics. But this year, for instance, I didn’t go out of my way to rewatch The Matrix trilogy as I remembered them pretty well and didn’t have easy access to them (they’re not on streaming and my DVDs are boxed away somewhere). So this list isn’t categorical or my all-time favourites; there are definitely huge omissions simply because, well, I couldn’t see everything (although I really should have tried to watch The Matrix Resurrections, which I have on BD and I’ve never seen).

It was relatively easy to find action movies because between the various streamers available to me – Netflix, Prime Video, Disney+, Paramount+, ITVx, BBC iPlayer – and the Blu-rays I have in my front room, there are quite a lot of action movies. In fact, services like Disney and Paramount are really good for older films; I don’t mean, of course, films from the 1950s or whatever, but those eighties and nineties actioners that old duffers like me remember from their youth. Whether it’s stuff I definitely watched as an actual child – Beverly Hill’s Cop – or stuff that was just genuinely, unequivocally of the era – The Presidio – there is a wealth of vintage action available online (and, incidentally, the eighties and early nineties were great for those sorts of basically-a-thriller-with-some-great-action types of film).

No, where the difficulty came this year was in deciding where the line is drawn for what is and isn’t an action movie. I know that there’s a huge crossover with Westerns – most big, popular Westerns are also action movies, really – but where does an actioner end and a thriller begin? For instance, The Fugitive; that’s not really an action movie, is it? Despite it having at least one incredible stunt. I watched the first three Jack Ryan movies last year, but I haven’t counted them for the same reason; they just don’t feel like action films, despite having some good action. The Mission: Impossible franchise caused a similar headache, one where I came down on the side of “action”; because, really, those are spy films, aren’t they? Conspiracy thrillers. But you cannot disqualify a film series increasingly based on Tom Cruise’s ability to run across anything, jump off anything, and climb literally everything. Ditto the Indiana Jones films; it seems really weird to me to put them in the same category as Die Hard or Enter the Dragon or John Wick, but that’s another film series built around elaborate stunt work and chase sequences.

Oh, and I deliberately didn’t include any comic book movies, despite the Captain America films having at least as much action as your average Mission. This also stretched to my rewatch of the Ninja Turtles films. Which, I dunno, is that a bit daft? Especially the first one, actually made by filmmakers experienced in martial arts movies and with stuntmen in the costumes. But anyway, it wouldn’t have made the Top Ten, and nor would any other superhero film I saw last year (if I’d rewatched The Winter Soldier that might; it might be the most “straight” action film in the MCU).

So we have a list that maybe doesn’t include some things you might have included (Cop Land?) and also includes some that maybe you’d have considered not sufficiently action-y (The Warriors?). And, obviously, is lacking some all-time classics because I didn’t happen to watch them in 2023. But I do feel pretty good about this; I feel like I watched a lot of great movies and Taken. I feel I’ve got an even better appreciation for, and understanding of, action cinema. I didn’t see nearly as many foreign language films as I wanted, but I watched a few older Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee flicks, and that was really cool.

Oh, and I’ve limited myself to one film per franchise, so we don’t end up with all four John Wicks on the list.

And that’s all there is to it! Now let’s crack some skulls.

Die Hard (1988): I genuinely think this film is probably as perfectly structured as you could wish for. Every beat is planned out, we know the geography of the building stunningly well, it’s so tightly, tautly directed, it’s damn funny, and incredibly well-acted across the board. Everyone involved with this is right at the top of their game. Just every aspect is top-notch. I’ve gone on about it loads in the past, so I’ll just say this: it’s good.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981): very close behind. As an adventure spectacle and stunt-based romp, it’s unparalleled. It races along from set-piece to set-piece, all of them exquisitely directed, and our focus held not just by Ford being utterly iconic, but also Karen Allen as his romantic equal and foil, Marion. They hold the screen, our attention, and our emotion so the wild ride has heft and stakes. And it’s got a bit where Indy punches a Nazi.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): like Raiders, this is a near-perfect execution of stuntwork and action cinematography. One long chase scene, it’s frankly gobsmacking how perfectly composed it is. The flow of each scene, the composition of each frame, the lighting, the effects; it all combines to create this engine of propulsive action. Combined with the trippy apocalyptic story, wild fantastical villains, and a stellar star turn by Charlize Theron, and it’s a masterpiece.

RRR (2022): a very broad, bombastic, and melodramatic retelling of Indian legends that, frankly, I knew nothing about. The mismatched best friend dynamic adds drama and pathos to a stirring revolutionary epic; but it’s the combination of stunning stunt choreography, outrageous effects, and frankly fantastic musical numbers that creates something you need to see to believe.

Speed (1994): an exercise in sustained tension from Die Hard DOP-turned-director Jan de Bont, and the two films are great companion pieces. The slick brushed-steel look of Die Hard is retained, as is the sense of an ordinary man in an extraordinary situation. Because, like Die Hard, it’s the characters here that compel and sell the premise; and, like Die Hard, the action when it arrives is slick, explosive, and exhilarating. And there’s a bit where a bus jumps a gap in the road.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017): my favourite of the Wick movies, it takes the premise of the first film – retired super-assassin comes back into the game to exact revenge – and ups the ante, not just in terms of action, style, and stunning fight choreography, but in terms of the dense and fantastical lore of this world. Reeves channels all his cool, stoic charm into Wick, and the fight scenes are brutal and dynamic but also reveal loads about the characters taking part. The best new action franchise in, what, twenty or thirty years?

Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018): the best Mission, just edging out the first film, which in its slower, more noir-y spy shenanigans, feels a touch out of step with the insane stunts that followed. Here we get everything firing on all cylinders as Christopher McQuarrie’s Switch-composition knits twists and turns together, threading a series of increasingly-audacious stunts and set-pieces through the middle. Cruise is never better, and we get the most out of Rebecca Ferguson’s Ilsa, and still have time for lots of cool planning-the-mission moments.

The Rock (1996): Michael Bay’s sepia-tinged, militaristic, OTT sensibilities have, I think, drifted out of style a wee bit, but I’m pleased to say his masterpiece here holds up perfectly. Maybe it’s the charm of Connery and Cage carrying us through the machismo with humour; they’re both supremely likeable as we move through an almost Die Hard-level of well-prepared baddies. The set-pieces are dramatic but fantastically exciting, from the crazy chase through San Francisco to “you’re the Rocket Man”. Daft but tremendous fun.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984): I guess another potentially-contentious entry, as it’s really more of a comedy than an action film; but this was the era of the comedy-actioner (Lethal Weapon, Tango and Cash, Big Trouble in Little China). And let’s not forget it was supposed to star Sylvester Stallone! Which is crazy, because this film is all Eddie Murphy; his charisma, his comedy, his – quite frankly – sexiness. But it’s still a compelling action movie, with some good set-pieces, stunts, and chases, and Murphy is totally credible as a tough action hero, too.

The Warriors (1979): just pipping Hard Boiled at the post (I had a long chat with myself) we have this incredibly tense and beautifully produced semi-fantastical action-thriller. A gang of, frankly, scummy criminals crosses a city, bedevilled by rival gangs of even scummier criminals; there’s something of sixties Batman or even A Clockwork Orange to the stylised droogs we meet, leading to some great set-piece battles, shocking deaths, and genuinely tender, empathetic moments of character. It’s lean and taut and utterly compelling.

I almost feel I should have put Hard Boiled up there because you could argue it’s a better action film than The Warriors. But it is what it is; let’s pretend they’re joint number ten.

Anyway this was an incredibly fun challenge this year, and I already miss it; I just find these sorts of films really, really easy to watch, and there were tons I didn’t get round to. Not just the biggies like the Matrix and Lethal Weapon movies; but I didn’t see a single Jean-Claude Van Damme film! I really wanted to see Sisu, which came out last year, but I missed it; and I was hoping it was my chance to finally watch Cobra, the movie Stallone made instead of Beverly Hill’s Cop. I’m almost tempted to revisit this whole genre. But there are a lot of other genres to cover, so I should probably move on.

In 2024 I’m going to be watching animated movies, which I’ve already decided includes performance-capture films like Tintin, although I’ve yet to come to a decision on live-action/animation hybrids like Roger Rabbit. As for how well I’ll do? I’m never going to top the sixty-odd action films I saw last year. Put it this way, by this point in January 2023 I’d already watched three action movies; so far, I’ve not seen a single animated film, unless you count Tabby McTat.

#top ten #action movies #film challenge 2023 #movies #films #die hard #john wick #mission impossible

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #619

Top Ten Things That Might Happen in 2024

January is always the time I do kind of “year-end” style lists about the year just gone and the year that we’re all getting used to. After my mini review of 2023 last week, now I’m turning my gaze to the horizon and thinking about all the exciting-seeming things that I’m going to end up being disappointed by in 2024.

I think these lists used to be a little bit easier as there were huge “things” hanging over the horizon – an Avengers, a Halo, a bunch of comics – but whether it’s just fatigue, time, or my interests narrowing a little bit, I tend to be happier to wait and see. This is also because a lot of the things I really end up loving are ones that kind of come out of nowhere – Everything Everywhere All at Once, Only Murders in the Building, Driver’s Licence – and I couldn’t have predicted how much I’d fall for them beforehand. The big franchises tend to rumble on and I love them to bits – well, the MCU at least – but I’m happy just taking them as they come.

Despite all that, there are quite a lot of things that I’m excited about this year. I’ve tried not to just say “everything that’s on Game Pass” or whatever, and look in the nooks and crannies for things that really seem like they’re going to be incredibly cool. I remain, of course, a basic bitch; there’s Marvel stuff on here, Xbox games, a bunch of movies… same stuff as always. But it looks cool!

Anyway, that’s enough for now. Here we go, gazing into my Palantir of futureness to see what there is to see. Catch you on the flipside!

I’m Seeing Hamilton!: I’m a very big fan of the musical Hamilton, which I’ve only ever see on Disney+, and listened extensively to its soundtrack. So I’m obviously incredibly excited by the fact that next month I’m going to see the show here in Manchester. It’s going to be weird hearing the songs sung by people other than the famous Broadway cast, but I can’t wait to actually see it live and for real.

Great Films Set in Deserts: the two biggest films of the year to me are Dune: Part Two and Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, follow-ups to two of my favourite films from their respective years. Dune I adored as a huge-screen epic adaptation on the scale of The Lord of the Rings – and in its own way just as earnest and successful an adaptation. The second half of the book is when things really kick off so I’m expecting some audacious IMAX action and Josh Brolin playing a baliset. And then Furiosa, the gonzo prequel to Fury Road, starring Anya Taylor-Joy as a young Charlize Theron, and an almost unrecognisable Chris Hemsworth. Fury Road is a landmark, stunning achievement in action cinema, so whatever George Miller wants to do in that world is of tremendous interest. And, yes, both these awesome films are set primarily in the desert. Who’d have thunk?

Doctor Who Continues to Return: pretty much my favourite thing about 2023 was the return to form of Doctor Who, one of my favourite shows which I felt had gone off the boil a wee bit. Ncuti Gatwa has already impressed in the Christmas special episode, and now we get to see a full season, with nice, enjoyable arcs and mysteries and weirdness. Russell T. Davies’ social conscience continues to ensure Who remains a terrifically progressive, forward-thinking show, which is also very nice; and we might even get some sexy spin-offs too.

Deadpool 3, aka The MCU’s Year Off: the MCU took a bit of a kicking last year; partly at the box office but especially from critics OD’ing on schadenfreude. This year is almost a bit of a reset, as the various strikes of ’23 have pushed back almost everything that was due out in the next twelve months. As such we have one film to look forward to, but what a doozy: Deadpool’s MCU debut, the first R-rated movie in the canon, with Hugh Jackman back as Wolverine to boot. And it appears it might be making fun of the entire Fox buyout and the end of their X-Men universe. True, there will be some shows – Echo, Agatha, maybe Daredevil – but it does feel like a chance for the studio to exhale, take stock, and kick everything down again in 2025. And Deadpool 3 could be utterly fantastic.

The Rohirrim Ride Once More: I’ve already mentioned the Lord of the Rings movies in this list, and here they are again. Basically, I think they’re the best movie trilogy of all time, the best literary adaptation of all time, and in general are just flippin’ fantastic. So I’m beyond excited for The War of the Rohirrim, an animated prequel focusing on my beloved pseudo-Celtic horse lords. Brian Cox is playing Helm Hammerhand, the visuals are based on Peter Jackson’s trilogy, and Miranda Otto narrates the whole thing as Eowyn. The Ride of the Rohirrim scene in The Return of the King is a stunning piece of cinema I rewatch time and again; I hope this can be just one-tenth as good.

Spider-Man Gets Hitched (Again): I don’t often talk about comics on here anymore as I’m not going into comic shops that regularly, so I just feel a bit out of the industry, so to speak. But this year we do get a new comic about Spider-Man that touches on one of my favourite aspects of the character: his married life. Ultimate Spider-Man – which launched this week but which I have yet to read – is a whole new universe and new take on the character; but as I do really like it when he’s a bit older, married to MJ, and has a kid, it’s definitely right up my street.

Great Games Incoming: last year I think I was most excited about Starfield, even if maybe it didn’t quite live up to expectations (I still really like it though!). This year I don’t think there’s one “big” game that’s frothing me up; but all the same, there’s a lot on it’s way. Next week, for instance, we’re going to see more of Hellblade 2, Avowed, and Indiana Jones just for starters; and personally I can’t wait for Ara: History Untold, Xbox’s Civ-a-like. And that’s before all the weird and quirky games that just look damn cool: Plucky Squire, for instance, and hopefully Lightyear Frontier, the Stardew­-meets-Transformers game that was delayed from ’23. Despite having more than enough to play already, I think 2024 is going to drip-feed a steady stream of excellent games throughout the year.

…And a Whole New Console (Probably): the games are exciting enough, but it looks almost certain that we’re going to get a sexy new console too. The Switch 2 (Super Switch? Switch U? Switcheroo?) is probably coming out in 2024; I doubt I’ll be getting one right away, but it’s always incredibly exciting to finally see what Nintendo have up their sleeves. I imagine a refined, sexier, more umph-y Switch; how it lands price-wise and with issues regarding backwards compatibility really determines how crazy it’s going to make me. And on the subject of hardware, we may be getting a cool new Xbox controller, with haptic triggers and all sorts; that’s Christmas 2024 sorted, then.

A Good Year for Star Wars: I’ve gone a bit lukewarm on Star Wars recently; although it’s been in the news this week with the announcement of The Mandalorian and Grogu movie and it’s really made me want to catch up with the series I missed. Anyway, 2024 is a big year for the franchise; presumably we’re going to get at least one film finally in production, and on TV we should have (I believe) the second season of Andor and Skeleton Crew, the intriguing Jude-Law-is-a-Jedi-mentor-to-a-bunch-of-kids thingie. If that wasn’t enough, Ubisoft’s Star Wars: Outlaws looks like a bit of wish fulfilment in game form, and we’re getting an amazing-looking remaster of one of the best games in a galaxy far, far away, Dark Forces. More did you spake?

Transformers, at Last: I finally started reading Transformers by Daniel Warren Johnson, the new iteration of the franchise published by Skybound and Image. As it’s only three issues old, I’m really intrigued to see how its story plays out this year; its interesting tweaks on the old G1 Sunbow/Marvel storyline have enough contemporary wrinkles and the artwork is excellent. Yes, obviously, it’s nowhere near as good as the highs of IDW; but, really, we’re looking back nearly ten years to those fascinating stories. This is an intriguing start and I wanna see where it goes.

#top ten #movies #games #books #2024 #2024 preview #things that might happen in 2024 #dune #hamilton #star wars #transformers

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #618

Top Ten Things 2023

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but another year has been and gone. Now we’re in the far-flung future of 2024; that’s after Blade Runner but before Demolition Man, if you’re keeping score.

Anyway, looking back, it was a funny old year. I managed to score the longest-term contract I’ve ever had since going freelance, which was nice. One of my kids went to secondary school. There were a bunch of wars. But what about pop-culturally? Because this is the point when I list my favourite things that happened that weren’t, you know, actually serious or important.

Even looking at “arts and entertainment”, it was still a bit of a weird year. In terms of film and TV, the various strikes hugely impacted everything, grinding productions to a halt, disrupting release schedules, and really having an almost Covid-like influence on the next couple of years. And even at the cinema, there was an almost-universal downswing in box office, surprising many and leading to tons of films – from Mission: Impossible to Indiana Jones to almost every superhero movie – underperforming; the counterpoint, of course, was Barbenheimer, of which more later.

In videogames, there were a ton of future classics – almost all of which I didn’t play – marking 2023 out as a potential banner year alongside, say, 2007 (Mario Galaxy, Halo 3, Portal, etc). However, the whole industry was rocked by repeated mass layoffs, making it hard to celebrate.

But – hey! – there genuinely was a lot of cool stuff. I do feel a bit weird that some of the things I was really looking forward to – the new series of Ghosts, the Transformers reboot – I still haven’t gotten around to checking out yet (but my comics are on their way!). So with no further ado other than a belated “Happy New Year”, here are my favourite (non-important, non-real-life) things that happened in 2023.

Tune in next time, when despite the year being about one-twenty-fourth over already, I highlight what I’m looking forward to in 2024!

Doctor Who Returns to Glory: I don’t want to get too down on the Chibnall era, but it’s fair to say that my love for Doctor Who had waned somewhat in recent years. However, it returned to form in a huge, huge fashion, once more under the stewardship of Russel T. Davies. The three-part anniversary specials, with David Tennant and Catherine Tate unleashing their amazing chemistry again, were a delight; then we got the effortlessly cool Fifteenth Doctor in the form of Ncuti Gatwa. The Christmas special was as fast-paced and charming as you’d expect. I don’t think I’ve been this excited about TV in a long time, and it was absolutely the best thing all year.

Barbenheimer: I spoke briefly about the disappointing box office this year, but two films that bucked the trend were Barbie and Oppenheimer. The second of these films is a dark, introspective, mesmerising look at a man and a moment in history; it’s terrific but I think we were already expecting something very good from Nolan, so it wasn’t so much of a surprise. Barbie, on the other hand, was a revelation, not just funny and light but also incredibly deep and thoughtful and about stuff. Plus it had one of the performances of the year and a terrific musical number. Together these films lifted each other up, becoming a zeitgeist juggernaut and just demolishing the competition. And they’re both great! Really, really great!

Things That Technically Came Out in 2023: when talking about films, though, my favourite is the exquisitely beautiful and magisterially produced The Fabelmans. It’s not just a heartbreaking introspection on one family falling apart despite there being a lot of love around, but it’s also in its own way a love letter to cinema and a deconstruction of the artist. And it has my favourite final shot of, well, maybe any film I’ve ever seen. Now, this film actually came out in 2022 in America, but we got it in 2023, so it counts. Similarly, on TV, the incredibly good – funny and heartfelt – Our Flag Means Death was a delayed arrival on these shores. So three cheers for things that still, technically, came out this year!

Great Gaming Remakes: end-of-year gaming lists are going to be wanging on about Baldur’s Gate 3 or Tears of the Kingdom or something. However, I can’t deny that for me the gaming highlights were expertly re-released old games. GoldenEye 007 finally – finally! – made its way onto modern consoles, and remains a masterpiece. And then Quake II arrived in one of the most impressive remasterings I’ve ever seen, with options galore to fiddle and tweak. Both of these games retain their excellent gameplay and have manged to still look good despite the passage of time. Also a shout-out to Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition which made its way to the Xbox this year, and is also great.

The Underdog MCU: if you were to read almost anything about the Marvel Cinematic Universe this year, it would be about how it’s a busted flush, on the way out, and how everyone is overcome with superhero fatigue. Now, for a start, I don’t think superhero fatigue is a problem; almost every mainstream, big-budget blockbuster suffered this year. But the MCU was the big dog so to see, say, The Marvels return a frankly shocking box office would naturally generate headlines. Despite this, though, I think Marvel had a really good year. Quantumania was a fun adventure movie whose biggest failing was that it tried to be too different from the low-key films that preceded it; The Marvels was a frankly excellent buddy-movie with some inventive action and three great leads; Loki provided the best finale Marvel has done and might be their best work on TV; and Guardians Vol. 3 is just a mini masterpiece. Yes, Secret Invasion was catastrophically disappointing, but I’m really happy with the overall quality at the moment.

A Great Year for Animation: it really was another terrific year for animated movies. Elemental – another alleged box office disappointment – was a tender and attractive romcom, even if it didn’t set the world on fire. Puss-in-Boots: The Last Wish was gorgeous and hilarious and really a lot better than it needed to be. Across the Spider-Verse added a healthy dollop of maturity and complexity to the gonzo wackiness of the first film. And there were loads of cool films dropping on streaming too. This is just the tip of the animated iceberg! It was a great year!

Happy Birthday Disney: speaking of animation, Disney celebrated their 100th birthday. It was quite nice following along and seeing the little teases and releases. The highlight was the new short film, Once Upon a Studio, which was hagiographic and back-slappy but also a nerd’s delight, spotting tiny cameos and in-jokes. It culminated in Wish which – I’m gonna be honest – I’ve not seen yet, but it’s still really nice how they built a big animated movie around aspects of their cultural history.

Microsoft and Activision Providing Drama: I’m not sure how much we should celebrate an enormous company hoovering up another enormous company, but the ongoing saga of Microsoft-Activision-Blizzard dominated gaming discourse across the year. It feels like this saga has been rumbling on forever, and it had enough twists, turns, roadbumps, and 180s to fill a streaming drama series. Ultimately it landed where I think most of us expected – with Microsoft now owning one of the largest publishers on the planet, albeit with a few interesting concessions. I’m not too fussed about getting Call of Duty on Game Pass, but I do hope the acquisition will allow for a healthier workplace culture at Activision, as well as more variety in the games they produce.

The Beatles Released a New Song: I’m gonna keep this one very simple, but in a year dominated by pop music – I mean, let’s be honest, it was really the year of Taylor Swift, even if the song that stuck around my brain the longest was Bad Idea Right? by Olivia Rodrigo – but The Beatles released a new song. The Beatles! A new song! Kinda! All, like, high-tech and cut up and smoothed out, with a video by Peter Jackson! I mean, really.

A Great Year for Indie Games: so yes, finally, I talk about new games – ones I played, too! Because for all the huge, Starfield stuff that dominated headlines, for me the best games were probably the much smaller ones. This is one of the things I love about Game Pass; trying out these littler titles that I don’t know I’d have rolled the dice on otherwise. So we have Venba, Cocoon, Thirsty Suitors, Sea of Stars, Jusant… all terrific, idiosyncratic titles without mega-budgets. Also quick shout-out to Star Trek: Resurgence, which won’t set the world on fire but does feel like you’re playing an episode of The Next Generation.

#top ten #2023 #end of year #happy new year #review of the year 2023 #review of the year #barbenheimer #xbox #doctor who #the beatles #mcu

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #617

Top Ten Things I Remember About the Hitchhiker Trilogy*

By the time you read this another of my inevitable birthdays will have passed, with me persisting in this foolish endeavour of Getting Older.

I am soooooooooo old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was an interjection by Daughter #2. Where was I? Anyway, yes, I am indeed the So Old. And this birthday isn’t necessarily a big, significant one, but it is what I like to call my “Douglas Adams Birthday”. And as a result it’s making me think about the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy. I love the Hitchhiker books – all five of them* – and I think Adams is a tremendous, inventive, hilarious writer. There’s something Pratchettian about the way he’s able to take a concept and weave it into an eloquent, humous turn of prose, but at the same time still feel deep or resonant or interesting. And if it doesn’t manage that, it’s still going to be some kind of gag. Which is fine! There’s a lot of Adams, I think, in Red Dwarf, which is deeper in my bones than Hitchhiker because I got to it first and it stuck around longer, but if I’m honest then Hitchhiker is clearly the stronger, more influential work.

Anyway, I really enjoyed Hitchhiker when I read it, but that was – I’m gonna guess – twenty-five of your Earth Years ago (please see first paragraph to discover how this is possible). It was a point of bonding with my Then-Girlfriend** as we read it around about the same time and would discuss its jokes and all that. However – however – I’ve not actually read it since. It’s probably about time to introduce it to Daughter #1, if she can ever find time to put down a Percy Jackson book; she might like it. But what you’re getting here, as a sort of birthday present to myself, is a list of my favourite things about the Hitchhiker books – except I don’t remember I lot of details. So it’s the best bits I remember, that I might not remember correctly.

Er, enjoy?

Dolphins: one of the funniest things is the subtle way little gags snowball into bigger gags. The off-hand reference to humans being the third-smartest lifeform on Earth is one good gag, but the reveal of mice actually being the ones putting scientists through experiments is a terrific gag. However, it’s the dolphins, smart creatures that they are, leaving Earth with the message “So long and thanks for all the fish” that sticks with me.

Flying: quite a simple one this, but I just adore the basic idea of it. Essentially, Adams posits that anyone can fly because all you have to do is fall towards the ground but miss. I mean, isn’t that genius? Of course, this ends up culminating in a terrific and rather moving mid-air sex scene.

The fjords: I can’t begin to write his name and for the sake of my “this is all a hazy memory” theme that I’m going for, but Startibartflast (?! I had a go anyway) being revealed as one of the architects of Earth – which, it turns out, is a constructed planet – is a great sci-fi concept, given humorous and humanistic life when he discusses how proud he is of the fjords in Norway, which he designed.

Marvin: is he the series’ MVP? Marvin the Paranoid Android is a misanthropic delight, shuffling along with a sense of existential dread, assuming the worst at all times, being a general sourpuss and dragging everyone else down. He’s hilarious. I’m also very fond of his big-headed design in the movie.

The Infinite Improbability Drive: another of those sci-fi concepts taken to hilarious heights, the ship being powered by an engine that functions on improbability is a great idea. It’s weird and sort of makes sense but sort of doesn’t, and results in that fantastic scene where it creates a sperm whale and a vase of flowers, and the whale thinks “not again”.

The mattress planet: a simple one, but the notion of an infinite universe by definition containing absolutely everything is a great idea, a science concept taken to ludicrous extremes. If the universe is infinite then somewhere in the infinite universe everything must grow organically and doesn’t need to be produced, leading to the image of a planet full of living mattresses gambolling along freely.

Bureaucracy: Earth is destroyed because of bureaucracy; they want to build an interstellar bypass, if I remember right. But this very British idea of fussy clerks making world-changing decisions taken to intergalactic extremes is a cornerstone of the book. It’s a galaxy-spanning weird sci-fi comedy, but it’s so typically British. It’s the series’ charm, its voice. It’s the sort of thing seen in Brazil. The hell of paperwork.

The Guide itself: the Guide is frequently referenced and quoted, and Ford Prefect works for them. But what a fantastic concept; a guide to the entire galaxy, an electronic slate that presents all the information you require. It’s a sci-fi concept that predicts real-world innovations such as the web and, well, tablet computers. But it’s also a funny concept within the stories themselves, not least the fact that Earth’s article just reads “Mostly harmless”.

The telephone bug: I might be misremembering this one quite a lot, but the idea of a highly-advanced and sophisticated race getting rid of all manual workers because they “didn’t need them”, and then all the rich folk dying of a bug contracted from telephone receivers because they didn’t have anybody left to clean the telephones, is just inspired. Joke plus political commentary.

42: ah, I knew we’d get round to it eventually. One of the big gags – and biggest plot points, if I remember correctly – is the society who built a computer to answer the biggest question of life, the universe, and everything, only for it to give the answer “42” because the society didn’t understand the question. “42” therefore has become a very significant number for nerds, even if looking at social media it appears that the central gag is widely misunderstood (it doesn’t matter that it’s specifically “42”, people!).

*The series is often referred to as “The Increasingly Inaccurately Named Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy”, or “A trilogy in five parts”

**Yes, I’m aware that there is a sixth book published after Adams’ death, written by Eoin Colfer, but I’ve not read it and it’s the sort of thing where I always feel like I draw an imaginary line between the work of the original creator and then the future works by others, sort of how I can’t entirely reconcile the Disney Star Wars stuff with the six George Lucas films.

***Then-girlfriend, now-wife, and mother of Daughters #1 and #2. Just to make that clear.

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