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httpknjoon · 11 months

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(re)starting over again | kth; 10

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 4.3k+

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | oh my god. hi, everyone! i'm still alive haha i apologize for the *long* delay. may wasn't my month 🙃 but now, i'm here and I split this chapter, so expect a 10.5. this is A LOT OF ANGST. no fluff for now. just full-on gloomy. also, i'll be replying to everyone who sent their asks soon! tysm for sending 'em. again, i apologize for the delay! enjoy reading :)

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Someone’s a little gloomy today.

The sound of echoing thunder woke you up today, along with the rings of your alarm in your phone. 5:15 AM. You groaned as the brightness from your phone’s screen hit your vision. After five more minutes of just staring at the most uninteresting wall in your room, you get up from your bed to prepare for work.

Unsurprisingly, your head feels heavy and so is your chest and eyes. Every step of your bare foot on the ground strangely felt like you were floating into space. The weather is cozy and cold, but you didn’t even flinch when the cold water hits your skin. You stood under the shower, the heater not even on, just staring at your feet.

I mean, he could have told me.

The sentence popped into your head. There is this part of you that is in between the scale of angry and sad after knowing about Lily visiting the bakeshop and talking to Taehyung. You wondered if Taehyung even had planned on telling you or if he don’t think he should have told you. You are starting to think he was only friendlier with you these past few days because he learned what happened between him and Lily. You’re beginning to think that he is only nicer to you now after bad their relationship went.

But did he even owe me that? I’m basically a stranger to him.

Another idea, opposite the other one, crossed your mind. You always try to be understanding and put yourself in his shoes in this confusing situation. The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t really have any idea who you are always staying in the back of your head. It’s always there as a reminder that Taehyung doesn’t know you. And his not telling you that he met up with his ex-girlfriend days ago confirmed that you are probably someone in the background for him. Someone… who suddenly lives in this house with him.

And thanks to that confirmation, more questions were formed by your brain.

You shut your eyes close and turned your head up, feeling the waterdrops on your face. Sighing, “Who even am I here?”

Taehyung, what am I even to you here?

The question floats in Taehyung’s head over and over again. The pain and confusion in your voice also play on a loop, adding weight to his shoulders and thorns in his throat. He wished he could answer that question easily, but he can’t. Seeing someone who treated him with care and kindness break down in front of him because of him is a slap on his face.

Because Lily is your girlfriend… right?

More guilt built up in him when he learned that you were aware that he still initially saw Lily as his girlfriend after he woke from the accident. It surprised him to hear you say that you cannot be mad with that. When you said that, he almost instantly wanted you to be angry at him, to let out every emotion you were feeling at the time.

Because you are too considerate and kind… and patient with him and this situation you’ve been put into. You didn’t even have to stay; you could’ve just left him the moment the doctor told you about his amnesia and all. But you stayed… and even looked after him for a whole month. Looking back at everything now, he knew. He should have just told you.

He thought you would be mad at him for reaching out to an ex. He didn’t know how you would react if he asked about Lily. He didn’t know you and he admit that was his fault. He has been working on knowing you these past few days, but now after last night, it felt too late. He should have made an effort earlier than this. As much as he hates it, Taehyung’s list of should haves is getting longer.

Now, a tray of chocolate chip cookies bakes in this oven you two have in your kitchen. He decided to make some after having trouble sleeping. He was shifting and turning on his bed for hours, possibly because of two causes: his head injury and you. Earlier, you were talking about how much you’ve been craving cookies. He knows that his cookies cannot resolve what’s going on right now, but he hoped that they will make you feel better. Even a little.

Taehyung managed to sleep for a couple of hours but still woke up later two hours past midnight. He quietly prepares and bakes the ingredients for the cookies. He was quick as it was the easiest pastry he can make. By the time he was putting the tray in the oven, he heard grumbles of thunder.

Should I put it in the jar? Or…

Almost thirty minutes past three, Taehyung yawned as he waited for the cookies to cool down before he stores them. He looked around your kitchen. In these quiet moments, he is finally starting to notice some details in some corners of this place. Particularly, the kitchen. He wondered if he picked the color of the walls or what to put in it when you two bought the house. His curiosity begins to grow about what you built together throughout your four-year relationship.

He wondered how great everything was before he lost his memories of the last five years.

You were supposed to leave at six o clock. But you didn’t realize how much you took your time with your thoughts that you ended up leaving twenty minutes late than your plan. Rushing to leave, you didn’t bother for breakfast and ran straight to the front door in your scrubs and jacket with backpack and umbrella in hand. If you still have time to spare when you arrive at the hospital, you’ll just buy something in its cafeteria.

As you get off the bus, you speed-walk to the hospital. You were too in a hurry to recognize who greeted you along the way, but you just greeted them back anyway. By the time you reached the locker room, you were catching your breath with less than ten minutes left to prepare for your shift.

Thank God, Jisoo’s not here. You sighed when you looked at yourself in front of the small mirror in your locker. Your eyes… were puffy. It’s not that bad. But everyone who will look directly at your eyes would tell the difference. You hoped no one else would notice.

“Good morning!”

Your eyebrows raised. Julia’s jolly greeting filled the quiet room when she entered. A couple of nurses who were also there greeted her back while you hid behind your locker door, trying to think of a quick remedy or even an explanation for your eyes. Because next to Jisoo, Julia is your closest friend here. She started working here two years ago. Her kind and sociable nature made her a friend to everyone. You three immediately went friends during a mutual graveyard shift schedule.

“Hey, YN. Good morning.” she opened her locker, which was next to yours.

You gulped, “Good morning, Ju.”

After one last look in the mirror, you closed the door. Julia was busy organizing her things in the locker, while she continues speaking.

“Jisoo’s already on break for her wedding, right?” she asked, still not giving you a glance.

“Ah, yes. For only one week though.” You replied, trying to act normal. You don’t know if you should go or wait for her to time in since you two usually do—with Jisoo if your shift schedule match up.

“You know, my dress for the weekend is still in the— Oh, what happened?”

In a quick glance, she immediately spotted a certain emotion on your face. Concern was written all over her face as she stopped and faced you.

“W-What?” you chuckled awkwardly, looking away.

“Why did you cry? What’s going on?” she asked softly, still worried. “Are you okay?”

Oh, that question. You don’t know what the hell that question has, it always breaks you down. You bit your lower lip as you looked back at Julia. You tried to hold on to the strings that were putting you together.

You sighed shakingly, “Yeah.”

A small, sad smile formed on her lips, “You sure?”

You feel like if you try to say anything again, it will just turn into a sob. So, you just nod. Unexpectedly, she reached out her arms and hugged you. Julia knew something was wrong. Well, she can definitely read through your eyes and the simple quirk of your lips that you probably don’t know you do whenever you’re bothered or tired. She can even feel the weight you’ve been carrying in an embrace.

“How about let’s go out together later? After this shift?” she offered.

“Sure.” You agreed, washing down any effort to put a useless mask on your emotions.

The cookies that he left on the kitchen counter for you were left untouched. He left it in a Tupperware, something that can fit in your backpack, along with a small post-it, written: cookies u can bring @ your shift today :)

He likes to think that the Tupperware probably went unnoticed by you instead of thinking that you ignored it. But what if you did? The idea of you being mad at him scares him.

“I swear, whoever will eat those cupcakes would choke on rainbow sprinkles.” Jimin entered the kitchen when Taehyung was just spacing out. He hung his coat behind the door and put on his apron. “What’s up?”

“Hmm?”

Jimin went on, “I arrived twenty minutes late and you already made two batches of blueberry cupcakes, one tray of snickerdoodles, and a lot of banana bread. What’s going on?”

Taehyung stared at him for a second, having battles in his head if he should tell his best friend about what happened. Jimin didn’t fail to remind him about telling you about Lily. And if he learns how you reacted last night—Oh, just sucked it up. Taehyung exhaled.

“YN learned about Lily.”

Jimin raised an eyebrow, “You told her?”

“She found through Lily herself,” Taehyung replied and he can read the confusion on his friend’s face.

“Huh?”

Taehyung went on telling how you and Lily introduced yourselves, how you introduced yourself as his friend, how Lily shared that she visited the bakeshop just last week, and how you remained quiet and bottled up with emotions until you two went home.

“She was so upset, she didn’t want to talk about it,” Taehyung recalled. “But she just broke down and she is still so nice in the middle of telling me how she feels. She told me that she cannot be mad at me for meeting up with Lily or for everything else. Because she understands. She always understands and I’m sure she is a wonderful person– but… But I really didn’t just give us a chance. She reminded me that we also happened after asking me who is she in this whole thing.”

He paused, remembering almost every word you said to him last night. He was too busy chasing what happened five years ago that he ignored someone and something important in his present time.

“Then, who is she to you?” his best friend asked.

“I… I don’t know.” Taehyung sighed, unsure. “But she’s not a stranger. Calling her a stranger would be an insult. I know she’s much more than that.”

There was a few seconds of silence. Taehyung looked down, resting his hands on his working table. Jimin just pats his shoulder for comfort. He knew saying things like I told you so or anything close to that is just useless. Taehyung already knew what he had done, he don’t need more reminders that he probably fucked up.

“Well, you need to figure that out.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know anymore, Ju.”

You wiped off the tears on your cheek as you confessed. Finally, after a whole day shift at the hospital, you get to open up to someone. As soon as you two left the hospital and changed into your casual clothes, Julia drove you two to her apartment since you don’t really feel like going anywhere. She ordered pizza and non-alcoholic drinks, which were delivered just minutes after you two arrived there.

No time was wasted. She didn’t even have to ask again for you to open up. For the last forty minutes, you’ve been telling whatever you feel like sharing to your friend. It did take off some weight on your chest as she listened and nods.

“I mean, I know that he’s just trying to know what happened between him and his ex. But I cannot understand why he didn’t tell me… Or maybe ask me about it. I know something about it. He told me how they broke up years ago. He told me what went wrong. Just like how I shared experiences with my past relationships too. And that’s how it used to be.” You reached for another tissue Julia offered. “We used to tell each other everything. Communication and honesty always mattered to him.”

“And it would have been nice if he let me know about his plans on talking with Lily. It’s perfectly fine by me. But he didn’t and now I’m starting to feel that he sees me as nothing. Just a person around him, who lives in the same house as him—or worse, he sees me as someone who just looks after him… like his nurse.”

The last thought squeezed your heart out. Taehyung even had a hard time introducing you yesterday to Lily. You took the initiative to introduce yourself to his ex as his friend. You don’t know what to feel about it. Should you be mad or sad? But can you blame him? You can never blame Taehyung. You always try to understand what he went through with that accident and what he is going through now. But as much as you hate to admit it…

“I feel like I’m burning out. I’m fucking drained.”

Another tear rolled down your cheeks while you shake your head. Saying that sentence felt like a confession of a crime. You don’t know why. You didn’t follow with another sentence again. Julia gave you a glass of water to help you calm down.

“You can take a break too, you know?” she whispered as you gulped in the liquid down your throat. “You can pause…”

Julia was gentle with her tone and choice of words.

“I think, you've already done enough. You took a month's leave to take care of Taehyung, to at least help him adjust to these big changes happen. You waited for him to ask about you or your relationship, which he did– Well, he tried. You are great. You were nothing caring and understanding for him and your relationship.” She paused and held your hand, preparing you for what she is about to say. “But he… he just has his eyes on people he knew before you.”

You almost hissed with the harsh sentiment of your friend. It felt like someone pulled the band-aid off your fresh, unhealed wound. But still, it felt like you needed to hear that. Julia, on the other hand, saw you flinch and held your palm tighter.

She continued, “The Taehyung you met before the accident is different from the Taehyung you live together now. As you said, five years ago, he went through a breakup with his ex. That breakup may have caused changes in him that made him into the Taehyung you initially met.”

It’s complicated. But you get what she is trying to say. A lot of things happened in Taehyung’s life before you two crossed paths. He broke up with Lily, and his bakery began to hit success and invest in other stuff in his life. A lot of other changes happened. Then, you two met through mutual friends.

“And please, YN, let yourself feel things.” Julia spoke suddenly, making you meet her gaze, “It’s unhealthy. Be sad, be mad, or be happy. Or simply take a break if you feel like it. Don’t deny yourself of feeling anything. You can be mad.” She said it like a reminder. “You have every right to feel so. I know you’re trying to justify Taehyung reaching out to an ex behind your back as part of this knotty situation. But at least, out of respect to you, he should have at least told you before or after he did so.”

“That’s why you’re so burnout right now, hon. You’ve done nothing but give and give. You forgot about your limits too… Are you even still okay working in the same hospital after everything?”

She asked and almost instantly, you remembered the night of the accident. You were waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up in the same spot you always waited in. Then, you received this call. Next thing you know, you’re seeing him getting pulled out of the ambulance. Bloody and bruised. Your stomach twisted with the recollection of his state that night. Thankfully, Julia called your name, snapping you out of your trance.

“Just know that you’re not alone in any of this. You don’t have to carry everything on your own. Jisoo and I are always here for you. And I really appreciate you opening up to me now.” She smiled softly before pulling you in for another hug.

After that hug, you two moved on to lighter topics. You asked her about her preparation for Jisoo and Namjoon’s special day at the end of the week. She talked about Chanyeol, her plus-one for the wedding. She shared about how things are going and you’re genuinely happy to see her happy. You ended up leaving at seven. Julia offered to drive you home, but you kindly refused, saying you need to be alone for a short while.

“Okay, just let me know when you got home.” She smiled and of course, was enveloped in the warmest hug you’ve ever received recently.

Just like when you left home earlier, the sky was dark and gloomy as you wait at the bus stop. Raindrops began falling just minutes after you got on the bus. You sat on the farthest empty seat your eyes spotted. Watching the raindrop rolling on the glass window, you thought about Julia and everything she said.

Change.

You wondered if change can help your emotional burnout while leaning your head on the cold surface of the vehicle. Truthfully, working in the same hospital after the accident is difficult. The first day you returned after your month-long leave you found yourself stopping in your tracks at every spot your feet took you that night of the accident. You also don’t enjoy the pity glances or smiles you get from your colleagues who knew about the accident. There were times, someone would approach you and say something nice or motivational. You appreciate the effort but it’s making your work more of a reminder than a distraction for what happened.

You get off the bus with a new idea and even more uncertainties in mind. You still felt like a deflating balloon floating your way to get home. After your breakdown, you wonder how Taehyung would react. He seemed pretty quiet last night. The Taehyung you know would prefer talking with you to at least mend these issues. But now, you’re really just tired and would rather organize your thoughts alone.

And when you walked up your front porch, you stopped as you saw the lights on in the kitchen. He’s home early. You turned the knob, preparing yourself with any awkward tension that is always suffocating. Walking in, a delicious smell of flavor filled your nostrils. You’re not planning to say anything but then, he greeted you.

“Oh, hey…”

It was short but soft. His lips formed a small, tight smile. He was indeed cooking as he holds a wooden spatula and you can hear the crinkling sound in the pan. You noticed he is wearing a familiar apron and a headband, exposing his forehead, to avoid his jet-black hair in sticking on the sweaty corners of his forehead.

“Hey.” you greeted back, forcing a polite smile on your lips. “You’re home?”

Taehyung noted the lack of any emotion in your voice or even eyes. You just looked exhausted. But he replied, “Yeah, we kinda closed early. Sold out.”

He smiled again, hoping that maybe you would smile back at him. You didn’t. Instead, you zipped your lips. And there it is. The awkward silence took over--not only the kitchen—but the whole house. He looked at you and you looked at him. It didn’t even last a couple of seconds. You looked away again, scratching your eyebrow.

“I should probably go—”

“I’m making dinner. Maybe—"

You two broke off the silence at the same time. You waited for him to continue but his nod asked you to resume.

“Yeah, uhm, I should go to my room.” You mumbled, not meeting his eyes. You just can’t.

It’s Taehyung’s turn to scratch the back of his neck, “Uhm, I made dinner. I was wondering if we can eat together.”

You timidly shake your head, “I’m kinda full… I had pizza with Julia. But thank you for the offer though.”

You were about to leave, wanting to leave this room since you were having the hardest time breathing with the thick tension. But Taehyung called your name,

“I was hoping we can talk… about everything.”

You turned around, finally looking at him. Suddenly, his heartbeat was louder than anything else for him. He can already see the rejection on your face. Like you’re not in the mood for anything that had to do with him. But he wishes his deduction is wrong. On the flip side, you can see his fingers fiddling with the spatula as he said that.

You exhaled, “I can’t, Taehyung. I really had a long day. I’m sorry—”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t apologize. We can talk whenever you’re ready.” He awkwardly raised his hands for thumbs-up. He saw your worried eyes landing on the dish he cooked. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll store it when it cools down. You can microwave it later if you get hungry.”

A simple, worn-out nod was your only reply before leaving him alone. His smile slowly fades as he turned down his chin.

He waited. Patiently. The morning after that, he waited for you to leave for work before he does. He goes home before you do. He prepared breakfasts and dinners for you, but you always seemed to be running late going to work and exhausted when you get home. And the rainy season didn’t stop. Taehyung once offered to walk you at least to the bus stop when you had a graveyard shift. He’s glad you didn’t decline and walked side by side with him under the umbrella.

“You know, you don’t have to do any of this.” You murmured in the middle of that five-minute walk to the bus stop. You were just looking ahead as you resumed, “You’re not obligated to do anything with me.”

“I wanted to do this.” He replied, glancing at you, hoping that he will meet your eyes. But he didn’t.

You didn’t say anything anymore. Even when you got on the bus and he handed you the extra umbrella he brought. But he really did. Even though you two haven’t really done a lot of activities together, he liked doing things with you or for you.

Now it’s been days since you broke down, you two still haven’t talked about it. Jimin told him to be patient and give you time. But the more time he gives you, the more he felt like you were already slowly drifting away from him.

“Are you sure? We still have space for another passenger.”

Taehyung heard you from the living room as he pulled his small luggage out of his room. He wore a white collared button-down, with the sleeves folded before it reached his elbows, tucked in beige suit pants.

“Okay, Ju. See you there. Take care.”

Your smile fades as you ended the call. With every emotion washed out on your face, you glanced up at him. Your eyes simply scanned him from head to toe before you spoke, “Let’s go?”

Jisoo and Namjoon will be having their rehearsal and the following dinner in the same area as their wedding. It’s in the same event place as their wedding venue. The couple already prepared rooms for a few guests, so that you can stay overnight for the wedding tomorrow. You, Taehyung, and Jimin will be carpooling in a rented car, with Jimin taking the wheel for an almost two-hour drive straight to the dinner event.

“Be careful, it’s fragile.”

You teased Jimin as he helped you carry the wedding gift for your soon-to-be-wedded friends. Taehyung carried yours and his luggage to the car.

“I am careful.” Jimin scoffed.

“Oh, I apologize. I’m just worried. You do have small hands.” You jested that made Taehyung choke and laugh.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” His best friend laughed dryly, squinting his eyes at you. “You two are bullies! It’s not that small.”

You chuckled once again before stopping when Taehyung opened the backseat door for you.

“Thanks.” You mumbled.

Taehyung sat on the passenger seat while Jimin took the wheel. In the first quarter of the ride, you still managed to join chit-chat. Jimin was the one who sparked up topics, which you were grateful for as you don’t know what would happen if it’s just you and Taehyung in this car. But as time went on, you yawned and slowly lost yourself to take a nap.

a/n: i'm thinking of updating/resetting the taglist for this series. kindly comment below if you still want to be tagged. thank you so much for your support <3

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [closed] @halesandy @boohoobabe @hopeonysus @taffyteffy @pnlpbnl @arusio @rpkth @cinnamonruts @xyahrinx @betysotelo18 @sugaslittlekookies @doublebunv @dahliasbouqet @lust-kth @aria-grace-scott @milkteallday @hoodalmighty @kiwuki @http-fayeradise @daydreamiies @starlight-night0 @chaoticbisous @mageprincess7 @byunniebaekhyunnie @hiimnothing @koreanaestheticc @shin-ie @blancflms @jeonkoookiee @satorinnie @rjsmochii @yoonglesdoll @somewhereinthestarss @turnthepageandbeburnt @heyjiminnie @bri-mal @teddybeartaetae @kaal-ee @nikkiordonez12 @motivatedprocastinator @butterflieshee @iamkookiesforyou

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1

#bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts series #bts imagine #bts au #bts amnesia #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung au #taehyung amnesia #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfic #restarting over again kth

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drownedbycoffee · 3 months

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Spoilers for Tmagp3 and Tmag65

I think I've found some sort of foreshadowing for Tmagp?

(TW for mentions of cancer, unreality, transhumanism, self-harm, mutilation, body horror, eating nonfood items, existential horror, death, mouth harm)

I don't know if anyone else is talking about this but you know when Sam says in Tmagp3 "Better than being force-fed my own keyboard by Colin."? (Referring to when Alice is trying to get him to call IT support and Sam is refusing and she says how he's made a powerful enemy tonight). Yeah, well, it just reminded me of MAG65 Binary. And now that I'm skimming the transcript, there are quiet a few similarities and parallels.

The first thing that really sticks out to me is when Sergey Ushanka uploads his brain to his computer. And I'm not saying that Martin, Jon and Jonah uploaded their brains to Windows 95 as a way of escaping dying from cancer, but the whole 'being uploaded online and turning into a sort of impossible or confusing code' just seems way too similar to be coincidence, especially considering it's Jonny who's writing this.

Also when Tessa in Mag65 is giving Jon her statement, she describes how people online often use Sergey's story as "a running prank for people who like to code text parsers and chatbots." She then goes on to explain the mechanics of it: "You create a program which appears to be a chat window with a stranger who identifies themselves as Sergey. The responses should be as naturalistic as possible to begin with, and in the best ones it’s hard to tell if you’re talking to a bot for the first minute or two. But then the responses start to break down, become more sinister, and keep referring to how much pain Sergey is in. Eventually, the only response the bot gives you is screaming and pleas to be released. The idea is that the chat bot is Sergey Ushanka’s mind, and he doesn’t like being in a computer nearly as much as he’d hoped. If it’s well-executed, it can be genuinely quite unsettling." Remind you of anything? Yeah, the whole thing where Chester, Norris and Augustus become more human as they continue to read out the 'statements' - I know it not exactly the same, but I think the method and logic behind is way too similar to be ignored or written off.

I think this also links to the theory that some parts of Jon and Martin, or at least a version of them, are trapped in the Web. Specifically to the theory that they are choosing what statements to read out as a way of trying to communicate with the world. Norris reads out in Tmagp2: "I said the only thing I could think:

“Arthur? Is that you?”

And that voice I have loved for twenty years answered:

“Some of him.”" Really links to the idea that maybe Jon's and Martin's brain have retained a level of conscience and is really similar to the whole thing of Sergey's mind trying to communicate online.

Also when Tessa's screen turns into the Video file in Tmag65 and there is that grainy image of a "balding man. He appeared to be in his late 30s, I thought, and was shirtless, with a face frozen in pain or distress. [...] He reached down, to what I assumed would have been the keyboard, but he didn’t seem to be typing. Instead, there was a sudden jerking motion, and he raised his hand to reveal one of the keys, that he had apparently torn off. He brought it to his mouth, and began to eat it. I could just about make out the snap of his jaw, as the hard plastic shattered between his teeth. And as he reached for the next one, I could see a trickle of blood from his lips." - which links to where Sam says about being force-fed his own keyboard.

I don't know this could all be nothing, but I just thought it was kind of an odd thing to say in a conversation and sort of niche and it just reminded me of that episode. Maybe it's a way of Jonny trying to tell us more about Jon and Martin's situation?? I don't know haha

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fallout-drabbles-n-stuff · 3 years

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Companions react to getting a forehead kiss after sole helps patch them up?

Cait:

"Tease.."

•You best better not try this if you haven't at least developed a decent bond with her, otherwise she'll just flinch away from you and give you the stink eye.

•Nonetheless, provided the two of you are good friends (if not more)- she'll just make little jokes to distract from her newfound awkwardness.

•She's never had anyone help her with her wounds, much less "kiss the pain away."

Curie:

"How sweet...now, have you sustained any injuries that need attention?"

•Despite sounding dismissive, Curie doesn't mind the kiss at all. It's innocent and quite sweet. It's also probably the first time she really blushes, like we're talking one of those super noticeable, terribly warm kind of blushes.

•However she just doesn't know what to do or say in this situation, even though words aren't necessary at all...

Danse:

"That's one method of field aid I haven't seen before..."

•Danse freezes on spot, even if only for a few seconds. He never has been the best at reviewing affection, and you doing this only highlights how much he truly craves it.

•Will probably try his best to change the subject quickly thereafter- even if it means randomly droning on about your mission details for the next day.

•There's a good chance he'll awkwardly attempt to reciprocate the action the next time he has to dress your wounds...but knowing Danse, he'll probably chicken out and leave you hanging.

Deacon:

"Great, now I've got cooties.."

•The only thing he can think of to do is put up those damn near impenetrable walls of his.

•He secretly enjoys the attention, but it scares him when he notices the way he desires for you to kiss him once more. As such, mood ruining is the best way to ignore it.

•It may seem mean, but he might not let you tend to his injuries for a while after this incident.

Hancock:

"Better than med-ex, sunshine."

•Hancock is probably the best suited on the list to casually receive and accept affection like this.

•The ghoul would just smile, recline back on whatever crappy makeshift bed you were tending to him on before playfully placing his tricorn hat on your head.

•You bet you sweet ass that whenever you get hurt next, he's kissing the wound AND your forehead.

Gage:

"Don't kiss me unless you plan on doing it right."

•Gage is usually pretty intolerant of what he would refer to as "sissy shit" like this, but for some reason he couldn't help but grin when you- his big bad overboss- kissed his forehead.

•What? He still wasn't going to admit that he completely liked the gesture.

•As such, Gage would just make that stupid joke with an even stupider smug look in his good eye.

Macready:

"...Sorry..you, you've got me thinking of Duncan..I, I uh- used to kiss his bandages when he was littler...I'm sorry about that, just give me a second boss..."

•Doing this incites a very unexpected response...Mac will actually start tearing up, unable to stop the flood of memories rushing to him.

•Even stranger, he'll pull you into a hug with no regard for his injuries and just sigh, trying to fight off the tears from falling down his cheeks.

•He won't speak of this ever again.

Maxson:

"Thank you..I mean it, (y/n)."

•In a strange way, Maxson is a lot like Cait in the respect that he hasn't really ever experienced such sweet, tender affection. Sure, unlike Cait, Arthur had a suitable group of people that cared for him..but none did anything like this.

•Regardless, Arthur would probably appear strangely vulnerable as he thanked you- maybe even going as far as to clasp you on the shoulder before returning to business as usual.

Nick:

"You're too kind."

•Right next to Hancock in the "I can actually accept affection" club, only he has no idea how you're able to kiss him after literally putting him back together with tools and the whole nine yards.

•Nonetheless, Nick appreciates the gesture and will proceed to offer a cigarette (if you smoke) or just give you a good old fashioned pay on the back.

Piper:

"Woah there blue, you aren't gonna convince me that kisses will make the ouchies better. Nat spoiled that, haha.."

•She's the official leader of "I'm uncomfy so I'll say something dumb" club.

•It isn't necessarily you kissing her that made her feel weird, it's more or less that the action instantly reminds her of Nat and her Mom (of all people). So she understandably is a little perturbed.

Preston:

"Heh, I appreciate it General."

•Preston can't help but smile ear to ear after you finish up, maybe even blushing a little as he expresses his gratitude.

•Through all the crap he has been through, little gestures like this make him feel the slightest bit better- so he holds on and savors the moment as long as he possibly can.

X6-88:

"Why did you just do that?"

•Pure confusion.

•You don't think they actually do this kinds of stuff back in The Institute, right? Because newsflash, they in fact, do not.

•You dressing his wounds was already a beautifully foreign concept to him- but the kiss? Atom have mercy on his soul.

•Probably becomes addicted.

#fallout 4 #fallout #paladin danse #fo4 companions #fallout companions #danse #elder maxson #curie #porter gage #fallout fluff #deacon #x6 88 #cait #hancock #fo4 #nick valentine #macready #brotherhood of steel #arthur maxson

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maybebanks · 3 years

Text

Hurting - part 4

link to part 1

link to part 2

link to part 3

jj maybank x reader

Previously: JJ and Y/n’s relationship is tested after the mental and physical difficulties of Y/n’s secret. She’s been an expert at hiding them, but now, he knows, and she has to face all her demons, and letting JJ think bruises are hickies is what she decided to do, to avoid the truth.

You didn’t need to get a job, because you were a ‘kook’ now. So what were you going to do with your summer? It had to be out of the house. And it couldn’t be with your best friends, the pogues.

You brushed the setting powder over your neck and jawline. Taking a deep breath before heading downstairs for breakfast.

You couldn’t face your mom, you were just going to grab some food and leave.

“Honey,” you heard a deep voice say.

You jumped and turned around, “um, yes sir,” you frowned, looking down at the ground.

“You’re mother took an early flight and I’m having a meeting here, so you need to stay in your room today,” your step father stated.

“W-wait, mom’s gone?” Your voice was shakey. You didn’t even get to explain the whole JJ situation.

“Yes.” He said impatiently, “look, doll, I don’t have time for you right now! My associate will be here any minute and if he sees you, we will have a problem,”

You didn’t understand, but you listened.

“Can-can I just get my bag? It’s in the front..um room,” you asked, meekly.

“Damnit you idiot!” He shouts, his fists clenching. You squinted your eyes on instinct, knowing he wants to punch you, knowing you were seconds away from pain.

The doorbell rang.

“Fuck. Get the hell out of my face,” he shoved you aggressively, then left your sight to get the door.

You stumbled, landing on the stairs, on your side. Cursing on impact.

You quickly got up, grabbed your bathing suit and ran out the door. Deciding to escape to the beach.

You put on your navy blue string bikini and quickly dove into the waves. It was weird because the last time you were here, you were with JJ.

He’s always been so sweet to you and you never knew why. Your first day on the island, when no one would talk to you, he came up to you. And being the established, well-liked person that he is, others followed.

You were very shy at first, and JJ didn’t know the real you until about a month in. But he didn’t give up, he was perfect.

You came up for air again. The salt not stinging your eyes.

Friendship. You’ve never had anything close to it until you met JJ.

But it’s too late. He’s gonna stop trying after what you’ve done, after what you’ve let him think you’ve done.

“You cheat on me?”

“W-why?”

“Answer me.”

“JJ...I think you should go,”

“Y/n.”

In your head it was the right decision. But in your heart? You’d die without him.

“Hey! Catch any good waves?!” Someone shouted from the shore.

You turned around from wading on your surf board. Waving to the boy at the shore.

A head of shaggy, long-ish brown haired boy seemed cheery. He threw off his button up and jumped into the waves.

You sighed, you were going to have to talk to this stranger. You almost didn’t have the energy.

“Why haven’t you been...around?” John B asks. You were surprisingly comfortable around him. He was your friend, you just didn’t notice at first.

“Just some...family stuff going on,” you shrugged.

“Ohh right. JJ told us!” He remembered.

“He-he what?” You stutter, afraid of what he might know.

“Yeah, he said your mom was coming home and she hasn’t in a while. That’s really all he said,” John B shrugged, flipping his hair after.

You felt like crying. Your mom wasn’t coming home, she was visiting for less than 12 hours.

“Hey...what happened to your leg?” He asked, swimming closer to you.

“Nothing, haha don’t uh..worry about me. How are..how are you?” You changed the subject.

“Well...oh shit! Did I tell you! I fucked uppp bro! I kissed Kie-“

“You did?!”

“Yeah! And she totally rejected me,” John B admitted.

“Did she like swerve? Or like push you?” You asked, curious about a normal thing for once.

“Nah, we kissed and then she pulled away, and said the no pogue on pogue macking rule. Fuckin JJ found a loophole with that,” he joked.

“A loophole?” You questioned.

“Yeah. Because you’re technically a kook,” John B shrugged.

“I guess,” you sighed.

“Hey, wanna get out of here? The waves are shit,” John B asked.

“Yeah.” You sighed, finally feeling calm for the first time in a while. Afterall it was a good distraction from JJ and everything else.

You and John B swam to shore and you threw a hoodie over your head.

“How good does the Wreck sound right now?” John B chuckled.

“So good,” you laughed, imagining shoving fries in ur mouth right now at the best restaurant in the Outer banks.

When you arrived at the restaurant, John B held the door open for you. He wanted to see you smile. You did, a soft curl of the lips, but it faded suddenly.

Something was wrong.

John Bs chest collided with your back, he chuckled. Because you stopped walking and blocked his path foreward.

“What’s up Y/n/n?” John B asked.

“Shut up-“ you said abruptly, John Bs eyes widened.

“Um..sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, just...don’t say my name like that,” you mumbled.

“Why? It’s your nickname right? Are you not cool with me calling you that?” John B questioned.

“No, no. I didn’t mean..just..nevermind,” you sighed. You just didn’t like it when people said your name loud in public places, you didn’t want to be recognized by certain people.

“Okayy? Anyway, let’s do that table in the back,” John B suggested.

“Okay,” you answered, keeping your head down.

He walked you to the table, and to your surprise, Kie arrived to take your orders.

“Hey guys! Is this a date? Or...” she joked. Laughing.

“Very funny Kie. Are you trying to make me lose my appetite? Poor business tactic of you ask me-“

“Hey! You asshole,” you mutter. Dipping your fingers in your water glass and spraying it at him.

John B tried to duck, but then bumped his head on the table.

You and Kie laughed loudly as he groaned in pain.

She could barely stop laughing, “can...ah I take your orders?”

“Yeah...um I’ll get um...John B what are you getting?”

“A cheese burger with no Mayo,” he told Kie.

“Idiot,” she muttered as she wrote it down.

“You want the usual? Fries and-“

“Ooh yes I’ll just have fries and cheese please,” you smiled.

“Yup, you got it. Ok I’ll be back,” she winked before leaving.

“By the way,” John B began, “I just want you to know I’d never make a move on you as long as your with JJ. I mean-Kie was joking in all-“

“John B, don’t worry about it ok?” You interrupted.

“Yeah but...I also wanted to ask you, what’s going on between you and JJ. Eveytime I mention him you get defensive,”

“What are you talking about? No I don’t,” you responded.

“Uh huh,” he said sarcastically.

“Look, the truth is, I just don’t care anymore,” you told him. You knew in your heart it wasn’t true, but it had to be. You couldn’t take back the fact that JJ thought you cheated. So you had to go with it.

“That doesn’t sound like you,” John B said.

“Whatever,” you sighed.

“Oh shit,” John B said, staring at the door.

“W-what? Is he here? Did you invite him? I swear to God,” you said in a hushed tone. You didn’t want to turn around yourself, in case you had to look him in the eye.

“No, chill. It’s..isn’t that your step dad though?” John B asked.

Your moth dropped slightly, “John B don’t say shit like that, your-“ you were about to tell him he was scaring you, but you shouldn’t admit that.

“Look behind you,”

“No I don’t want to,”

“Just look,”

You sighed, and slowly turned.

“Oh-“ you started to respond, but you practically felt your heart stop. Instantly, your breathing picked up.

“What’s going on between you and JJ? Why wouldn’t you want him here?” John B said, trying to pull your attention back to him.

You shook your head, instead of answering. You could hardly form words. Maybe it’s the fact that if your step father sees you here, there’s going to be some contact.

“Whoa relax!” John B said, placing his hand on yours.

Immediately, you pulled your hand away.

He furrowed his brows, confused and offended.

“Sorry.” you muttered.

“You wanna...leave.. I mean ... you wanna get out of here?” You suggested, afraid he would say no.

“What? Why? We didn’t even get our food!” John B exclaimed.

“I..I know. I just..don’t feel like eating anymore.”

“That’s so weird, Y/n. C’mon we can’t leave. Just suck it up for a sec,” John B said shortly. Tapping your shoulder.

“Okay,” you responded. You thought back to JJ. He never made you do stuff you don’t want to. He was just so caring to you. Not that John B wasn’t, just that JJ knew you so well.

A few minutes later, your couldn’t shake the thought that the man you feared the most was behind you. You didn’t have eyes. You didn’t have JJ. You didn’t have anything.

“John B, I don’t feel well I think I’m gonna head out,” you told him, getting up slowly.

“You sure?” He said, analyzing your.

“I um...” for some reason, blurred vision erupted, and you started feeling like you were going to faint.

You stood up slowly. But things were getting worse, and your stance was unsteady.

You gripped the edge of the table for support.

“Y/n...what’s up with you?” John B asked. Sounding annoyed.

For some reason a tear escaped from your eye, you were sorry you were annoying him. So you muttered a quick, “I’m sorry,”

John B stood up, he was now right infront of you. And then, you collapsed. John Bs arms wrapped around you and pulled you into him as you fell.

He was shocked by this. Struggling to hold you up.

No one seemed to pay much attention, but anyone in their right mind would know that they should probobly take you to the hospital. But John B, as did many of the pogues, didn’t always trust authority.

So he took you back to the Chateau, where Sarah, who took a class in Lifeguarding was considerably the doctor instead.

“What happened?!!” Sarah exclaimed as she saw John B carry you out of the van.

“She just passed out. Hey can you help me carry her?” John B grunted.

“Uh..I’ll get JJ,” she said.

“Oh fuck. Wait! I don’t know if that’s such a good idea-“ John B began but Sarah had already called him from working on the boat.

He ran over, his eyes filled with worry. He quickly took you from John B. Carrying you without a problem bridal style.

Inside, he let you down on the couch.

You were slowly coming back to consciousness.

“Put this on her forehead,” Sarah said passing a towel to JJ.

“Hey...hey Y/n. Come back to me okay? Fuck baby. Don’t do this to me alright, wake up,” JJ muttered into your ear.

Moments later, your eyes started to flutter.

To witch JJ sighed in relief, taking your hand and holding it tight in his own.

“Let’s call her parents,” Sarah suggested, grabbing Y/n’s phone.

“Sarah no. Alright? Give me her phone,” JJ demanded.

“No! If I was her my parents would want to know! It’s not normal to just faint-“

“Sarah, give me the fucking phone,” JJ persisted.

John B frowned, “hey watch it, JJ. Don’t talk to her like that bro,”

Sarah frowned, and out of spite began typing on her phone.

JJs temper only grew, he only wanted to protect you.

He grabbed Sarah’s wrists and pulled the phone from her hand.

“Hey!” Sarah exclaimed.

“Dude!” John B interjected.

JJ returned the phone to his pocket.

“Bro, I’m gonna kill you-“ John B said.

“Wait,” you said meekly, “JJ was right, okay? It would only make it worse. Just trust me,”

“But why?” Sarah said concerned.

You shook your head, signaling you couldn’t answer the question.

Sarah sighed and wished you to feel better before leaving.

John B then stepped to JJ, “you’re lucky your girlfriend is so sweet. I would’ve kicked your ass,” John B threatened.

JJ didn’t want to cause a drive between any more of the people he cared about. So he just accepted.

JJ then sat by you, despite what had happened before.

“You really scared me, Y/n.”

“Wasn’t..my intention,” you stifled out, trying to get up.

“Whoa...whoa, can you stay to get some rest? Just stay here for me,” he insisted with a hand on your chest.

“JJ...” you sighed.

“I know it’s not true. I know what you’re doing.”

“Stop. Please.” You pleaded.

“You didn’t cheat on me. Those are bruises aren’t they. They’re not hickies. They’re from him trying to choke you.” JJ explained.

“JJ get away from me. We broke up. I don’t....I don’t-“

“You don’t what? You don’t love me?! Huh! Say it Y/n. Look me in the eyes, and I leave for good,”

“I don’t! I don’t deserve you! You can’t me with me. I’m used, JJ. You deserve a girl that isn’t so-“

“Broken? Y/n, I’m just as fucked up as you. You know my dad hits me right? He beats me. And it’s wrong. And I hate him. But I can’t hate you. Ever. Not for what that sick man has done,”

At this point, you were balling. Wiping tears as soon as they fell.

“JJ...I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying. I thought you would leave.”

“It doesn’t work like that, when I love you more than anything in my entire life,”

“I don’t understand,” you stuttered.

“Understand what?”

“Even after you know what he does. How could you look at me, and still love me?”

“That doesn’t change all I’ve known as soon as I met you. And if you need me to prove it to you, I will.”

thx for reading ❤️

@mavelfanatic @my-therapist-hates-me @rudypankowswife @harrypottersgirl @themaddies-obx taglist

#jj maybank #obx imagine #obx fanfiction #outer banks #obx netflix #jj imagine jjxreader obx #obx jj #obx jj maybank x you #outerbanks #jj outer banks #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank oneshot #jj maybank series

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seodami · 3 years

Text

Train to you | CBG

Genre: ANGST, tiny bit fluff in between

Warning: !!!!!! death, suicide, dark thoughts, 1 tiny curse word !!!!!!!

Word count: 3417

Pairing: Choi Beomgyu x reader (GN)

Note: well well well this was ANGSTY gdhsj it’s the first real angst I’ve attempted to write and I cried so...either I am too absorbed into the story or it really is sad haha. Please don’t read this if you have trouble with sensitive topics like these, yet anyone else who dares enjoy :))))

Main Masterlist

You cursed under your breath as you hastily ran up the cold Beton stairs, two steps at a time, trying not to collapse until you at least reached the incoming train. You were late again for work and you could already hear your boss screaming at you for being late the third time this week. It wasn’t fully your fault, you thought in your defence, remembering your defect alarm clock, the emergency call of your friend Soobin and the bottle of wine the previous day. Yes, definitely not your fault this train always leaves this early in the morning.

Lucky for you, the train was still at the platform, signalising the doors were about to close. You quickly squeezed yourself through the door before it was too late and to your surprise, there even were a few seats left. Still panting heavily, you plopped down on a vacant seat while trying to catch your breath. You used your red cardigan to pat away the sweat on your forehead.

It wasn’t until the train slowly started moving, that you caught a glimpse of an all to familiar cardigan outside on the other side of the platform. It was a brown haired boy, who was wearing the exact same clothing piece as you. And the longer you’ve watched him, you noticed that in fact his whole outfit was the same as yours today. Black jeans, red cardigan, black converse and a silver necklace.

You gasped at the boy, trying to not lose him as the train sped up but failed of course. Soon he was way out of sight and reach for you. You felt a weird tuck on your heart. Disappointed. You wanted to look at him just a tad longer.

The boy never left your mind for too long this day, always staying in your memory to be recalled back. He was wearing the same outfit as you, sure it could have been pure coincidence and you knew this world was probably smaller than it seemed but nevertheless, you found it fascinating. It was the first time this ever happened to you.

The next day, you managed to wake up earlier for once, having slept only a little, mind too clouded with everything and nothing at the same time. You were surprisingly excited to go take the train this morning. You didn’t want to tell yourself that it was because you wanted to see the stranger once more. So you nearly ran upstairs, without really needing to hurry, and there you saw him on the other side again.

He wore the same outfit as you again. A beige coat, black turtleneck, blue jeans and a black beret. You didn’t expect this at all, leaving you baffled. Sure, it must have been a coincidence again. But why was he so captivating for you?

You didn’t know how long you just stood there, looking at him and his face, oh his very pretty face. You wanted him to notice you. Just one look maybe? One tiny glance? It would do your strangely beating heart some justice. But he seemed like he was in his own world, smiling up in the sky, eyes slowly following the steady floating clouds.

You asked yourself if he took notice in you as well but soon came to the conclusion that he had not as the train arrived right on time.

You decided to test your outfit theory right the next day, being way too giddy to see the good looking stranger again. Luckily you still had some extremely ridiculous and questionable clothing pieces you buried in the back of your closet, not being all too happy to see your failed purchases again. You made a mental note to donate some of them later on.

You couldn’t hold back a snort when your eyes met yours in the mirror against your closet door. Why exactly were you humiliating yourself again? The pink baggy pants hung low on your hips, paired together with the ugliest Christmas sweater you could find. To top it off, you wore your long cheetah print fur coat with a blue collar and you couldn’t resist putting on your red bucket hat. This must do it. If the stranger still happened to wear the exact same outfit as you, you knew it had to be more than coincidence.

And just like that, you found yourself staring at the boy with wide open mouth, gaining weirded out looks from bystanders. He wore it. The same. Your mind was racing with thoughts and possible explanations but you cannot seem to find any. How was this possible? You thought of it as a joke at first but now...you didn’t know what the hell was going on. Were you slowly getting insane? Was he your stalker? But how could he even then have the same ridiculous clothes as you? Maybe he was some kind of soulmate? It sounded hilarious and absolutely mad but so was this situation.

It was short - maybe a split second - and your eyes met. Subconsciously you stepped closer towards the stranger, nearly ignoring the huge gap between you two. He saw you. It almost hit all the air out of you. There was something so familiar about him. Something so...so...unexplainable.

Suddenly your view got blocked and something roughly pulled you back, that you nearly fell right on your butt. Confused, you looked up just to see a mid aged man with a pair of round glasses on his nose. There was a disapproving look on his face, helping you stand straight again.

“Miss, you need to watch out. The train could have hit you.” His voice was stern, making you gasp in realisation with the train slowly coming to a stop in front of you. You really just forgot that you were on a train station. All you thought about was him. About going to him. You just wanted to know his name, having another conversation just between your eyes.

You quickly apologised and thanked the man before stepping inside the train, eyes searching for him. But he wasn’t there anymore. Your heart suddenly hurt - more than before. It was so strong. Where was he? You wanted to see him.

It was that moment when you realized you somehow, not knowing the reason, longed for this person. It was such a deep feeling, you never felt such a strong emotion before in your life. You wanted to cry.

Just as the doors were about to close, you caught a glimpse of a red hat and cheetah print coat right outside, where you just stood seconds before. You didn’t think much, you stood up running towards the door, frantically pushing the opening button again and again, but the doors were already closed. So so close. He was so close. But you couldn’t reach him. Why had you to enter this stupid train? He was right out there looking at you with these big brown eyes. It hurt your soul. He was so pretty. Oh you longed for one touch, one word. Why can’t you be with him?

Your hands were pressed against the cold glass, eyes never leaving his enchanting ones. But the train was already moving. It was too late.

A hand on your shoulder suddenly tore you out of your miserable state. Your heart was hurting so much by now. Why was it hurting so unbearably? “Is everything okay?” A woman with a child on her hand smiled at you sympathetically, offering you a warm hug after she saw the thick tears in your eyes, soon streaming down your warm cheeks.

Why felt it so thorning just to be with him? Why felt it like you just missed your only chance to ever meet him?

“It’s going to be okay.” The woman muttered under her breath, gently rubbing your back. “You are strong.”

The next day you woke up even earlier, almost not finding sleep at all that night. This feeling of lost and utterly sadness and hurt. You felt it ever since he was so close. Ever since you almost were by his side. This feeling never left you.

Today you felt just weak and so exhausted. You didn’t have the energy to go to work but you needed to see him again. One last time?

A white shirt with a pink sweater vest on top and a pair of loose white pants were your fit for today. Your mind wandered to the brown eyed boy as you chose the colourful item out of your wardrobe. It reminded you strangely of him.

With heavy heart, this time you trotted up the stairs, surprisingly noticing not a single soul at the platform. No one but him on the other side. You let out a sigh, you didn’t know you were holding. He was still here. You could’ve hit yourself with the realization that it was in fact Saturday, meaning you didn’t need to go to work today. It was silly of you, but deep down you still would’ve come for him. Only for him.

This time your eyes met immediately and your heart beat picked up. He gave you a bright smile and a tiny wave of his hand, making you nearly choke on air. He looked so pretty in the pink sweater vest, you were absolutely right. His hand was moving again, showing you to come over to him.

You gulped nervously. This was your time. No one would come between you this time. No life saving strangers, no wine bottles, no defect alarm clocks and definitely no trains. Without wasting any more time, now having found a sudden boost of energy, you sprinted down the stairs again, almost tripping over your own feet. You were gonna meet him. Finally.

When you reached the other side of the platform, you frantically looked around, searching for him. But he wasn’t there. You were standing right where he stood. You glanced over at the other side, where you were just coming from, seeing him standing there peacefully still with a smile on his face. He looked ethereal. The sun was on his side, making him glow in a heavenly way, you haven’t seen before. His brown fluffy hair was sweeping softly with the wind and his deep brown eyes sparkled with hope.

Suddenly it was as if your head hit a solid brick wall. Beomgyu. His name was Choi Beomgyu. Beombeom. Your dear Beombeom. How could you ever have forgotten him? The pain in your heart was now as strong as never before. You wanted to die, it was that painful. You fell onto the ground, clutching your heart desperately. Of course.

It was so contradicting. Hot tears were streaming down your face by now, the unbearable pain getting worse every second, yet Beomgyu seemed so peaceful, so calming and so sweet. You needed him for your heart to heal. He was the reason you were here. You needed him by your side.

He smiled and waved you over once again. He was waiting for you. You needed to get to him. With heavy breathing, you heaved yourself up one last time. You couldn’t just give up like that. “Beomgyu...” you screamed with all your energy, sobbing in pain. It was a heart wrenching moment to witness. Beomgyu on the other side nodded smiling, his eyes glistening as a single tear slipped down his cheek.

You couldn’t bear this pain anymore and started running. Right on the rail. You couldn’t care less at that moment. You needed Beomgyu.

You jumped down the ditch onto the track. You were almost there. Just a few more steps and you could touch him. Your heart was getting warmer and warmer. It felt so nice. So comforting. So familiar.

It all seemed to go so well but then it all happened so fast. It went wrong so fast. You could see Beomgyus hand reaching out for yours, just mere centimetres away. Then there was a bright light. A loud noice inside your ears, a shrill scream and an insufferable pain inside your head. It only lasted a split second and then everything was black. The last thing you’ve heard was Beomgyus warm voice calling your name. Then there was nothing.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

The next thing you remembered was a bright white light. Then there was a steady peeping noice. And lastly an extreme sterile scent. You already hated it. You longed for the same warmth you felt before, when you were about to be with him.

The first thing you remembered was coughing. Extremely harsh coughing. It was like you were coughing out your soul. You heard more voices, slowly getting clearer to hear, and saw shapes forming behind the bright light.

“Y/N, Y/N honey yn darling do you hear me? Y/N?” Y/N... that was your name. Right? You felt something soft yet ice cold touch for face, something wet touching your nose. Your mom, you thought. It was your mother’s voice.

Before you could realize anything, there were other voices, strange and familiar ones. As you finally could make up semi clear shapes, your eyes met a pair of circular glasses. A brighter light than before was now shining directly into your eyes but soon enough vanished again. You were still coughing.

“Y/N oh my gosh darling, honey, you are back. You made it.” You heard your mother cry besides you, grasping your weak arm as if it was her lifebuoy. “Thank you thank you thank you”

“Miss Y/L/N? Can you hear me?” A mid aged man behind the glasses asked you. You’ve barely managed to open your eyes and look around you, eyes meeting your mothers wet ones. A sob escaped her lips. Beside her you could make out a mob of pink hair. Your brother.

“Miss Y/L/N? Everything is all right. Very good.” A nurse in baby blue clothes spoke gently to you, as you started to gain back some control over your own breathing. You noticed something big inside your mouth, surpressing the urge to cough or vomit it out.

“One second Miss Y/L/N, I will now remove your breathing tube. It won’t hurt, just relax.” She patted your arm and made her way towards your face. A breathing tube? After a few moments you felt a weird sensation inside your throat as if something was pulled out. You immediately started coughing again once the tube was removed but slowly getting a hold of it again.

Yeonjun kneeled down besides your mother, gently taking your hand in his warm one. It was sort of comforting. He had tears in his eyes, eye bags clearly visible on both your mother’s and brothers face. What was going on? Why were they crying?

“All right there, here we go. Welcome back Miss Y/L/N, how are you feeling? Good?” You wanted to say something, your head still spinning, but could only make a hoarse sound, feeling just how sore your throat must have been.

“It’s okay you don’t need to answer yet. You still have a very sore throat due to the Intubation we had to put you through.” The man, you assumed doctor from his white coat, explained you patiently. You managed to nod but you were still trying to figure out the situation. You were more than confused. Why were you here and where was Beomgyu?

You tried speaking again but just a very strained “What-“ could be deciphered, followed by some coughing again. You were feeling weaker than ever and everything hurt.

The doctor nodded sympathetically, already knowing what you were about to ask. Your eyes wandered wordlessly to your brother’s and mom’s. They looked so hurt, yet relieved.

“Let me explain. You must have a lot of questions right now. We take everything slowly, alright?” You nodded again, Yeonjun slightly squeezing your hand. “You just woke up from a four week lasting coma as you previously had been rushed into hospital after a collision with a train.”

You noticed your mother sob harder than before, your brother gently laying an arm over her shoulder. “You tried to kill yourself Y/N...” Yeonjun whispered, heart breaking once more. It all came flooding back at once. Your head hurt at the sudden heavy feeling growing inside your breast, overtaking your heart in just seconds. You felt devestating.

Tears welled up in your eyes, remembering what you did, what you wanted so dearly and why you did it. You remembered the last seconds on the platform you were standing so often with Beomgyu, where he held you tight in his arms, where he softly told you he loved you, where you shared your first loving kiss and you both laughed afterwards at how clumsy you were being. And lastly, it was the place where Beomgyu died, where he found his bitter end at the tender age of 22.

Anger bubbled up inside you, remembering how he had died. He wanted to visit you with a beautiful bouquet of yellow flowers, as beautiful as him himself. You just aced your last exam of the semester, wanting nothing more than celebrate with your boyfriend of over two years. It had been your fault, hadn’t you just failed the exam, things would have been different. He wouldn’t have gotten to you by train at this hour, the drunk man wouldn’t have started a fight with him and Beomgyu wouldn’t have been pushed onto the tracks just before a train came rushing by. Beomgyu would have still lived. He would be with you on the couch, legs intertwined, stealing small kisses now and then and probably also a few bites of your snack. But something deep inside you told you that he still would have visited you, maybe to be there for you or maybe to just give you a hug.

Your heart stung painfully inside your chest. You wanted to forget again. You wanted to pull your damn heart out of your chest and throw it on these stupid train tracks. You hated how much it hurt.

You wanted to end it there. You’ve remembered it as clear as daylight. A life without Beomgyu seemed so impossible for you, you never could heal without him. He owned your heart and it was impossible to live without a heart. So you jumped. You were so sure. Even wrote letters for all your friends and family, the last one for Beomgyu, probably still laying on his grave stone. But why didn’t you make it? Why couldn’t you reunite with him? You saw him so clearly on the other side, dressed in his favorite pink sweater vest. Why had it to be him? He was so full of love.

“Beomgyu...” you whispered, painful sobs now tearing your heart apart once again. Yeonjun and your mother rushed to hug you as tight as they could, never leaving your side and crying with you.

This day wasn’t a day joy or freedom, no. It was far from that. It was a terrible, hurtful day. You missed Beomgyu more than ever before. You realized he was gone for good. And you were here.

But it was also a day full of comfort and understanding. You still thought about Yeonjuns quiet words besides your ear.

“I miss Beomgyu so fucking much as well. He didn’t deserve to go that early, I know. And it’s not your fault YN, remember that. He still loves you so so much and he is here with you, with us, every second. He didn’t want you to go from us that early as well, he protected you YN.” His hand payed over his heart, eyes fixated on yours, showing you how he meant every single word.

You nodded, your tears never ending. Yeonjun hugged you again. He firmly believed that Beomgyu saved you, so you believed it as well. He wouldn’t want you to end your life that easily, that pathetically while mourning over someone, who was instantly dead in just a split second. It wasn’t fair, no, it would never be.

And Beomgyu showed you in his own way that he not only loved you deeply and will forever, he also teaches you so much in life: joy, love, anger, sadness, overwhelming sadness and how to live life the fullest.

He will always be in your heart, no matter how much time will go by, and you will be forever thankful towards the brown eyed boy, who taught you how to love, live and leave. Your dear Beombeom.

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liyuesbian · 3 years

Text

✧ reconciled stars. [mona]

warnings: suicide mention (but not really?? i've still tagged it under suicide just in case though), robbery mention, knife mention

notes: reminder - i have a specific tag system for tws so pls block what's necessary ("// [tw]"). this is not your usual x reader fic. u have been warned lol i was in the mood for smth eerie and a bit chaotic/spontaneous again. kinda, sorta similar vibes to my barbara one but... even worse haha. btw this is a placeholder. trying to get through a couple requests atm :] might make a part 2 for this, might not. we'll see

it's late in the afternoon when you and your friend go out cycling. he brags, displaying the new tricks he'd learnt recently while you collapse onto freshly shaven grass. you prop your bike to relax on the side of a tree. your friend's bike is damaged and bruised with stains of mud tattooed onto its body. its owner is still gloating.

you had immersed yourself into a book to shut out his prideful words so you don't notice his absence until half an hour later. you sigh. reluctantly, you clutch your bicycle, placing the novel into the front basket adorned with flowers. you search for your friend but the town you live in is enormous. fortunately, after asking multiple strangers, you manage to find him in a quiet, desolate area of town.

as you approach him, he doesn't turn to face you and stays quiet. next to him, you can faintly see an unmoving, practically naked figure. you repeatedly ask who she is but no words leave his lips. you peek over his shoulder to see the dishevelled corpse for yourself. there is no blood.

curtains from the top floor of a building you're near fly in the wind—the windows had been opened wide. your friend dons a frightened expression but his blank, unwavering eyes deceive him almost as if he'd been expecting this.

realising the severity of the situation, you knock over the kickstand on your bike and dial the emergency number in a panic, informing them about the body. as you wait patiently, you shoo away your unreacting friend. the woman should at least have some privacy now that she's died.

slowly, you take another glimpse of the body. her jet black hair is spread out across the concrete and you speculate about the events that led up to this for her to be wearing little to no articles of clothing. for a second, you swear you see the woman take in a sharp breath but your attention shifts to the compass-esque charm attached to her choker necklace.

"you're alive aren't you?" you whisper.

no response.

with a shrug, you don't bother asking again and stare off into the distance. but the silence is stifling so you end up formulating a conversation.

"did you throw yourself out of the window?"

again, no response.

"why is the ambulance taking so long?" you wonder out loud. tired of standing up, you opt to take a seat next to the figure. while crossing your legs, you place a hand above her lips. no sign of breathing.

she must be a good actress, you conclude. to pass the time, you play chopsticks—a kids' finger game—by yourself. you find that neither winning nor losing really excites you.

"i didn't throw myself out of the window."

you blink rapidly before sneaking a glance at the source of the voice. her pale blue eyes are now open and, like your friend's, are equally as unwavering and devoid of emotion.

"why are the windows open then?" you lift your pointer finger in the direction of the fluttering curtains.

"oh... that's not my apartment" is the response you get. you crinkle your eyebrows together: you don't get it.

"then why are you lying on the ground?" you interrogate with childlike curiosity. it feels as if you're seeing stars, as if you've entered an unknown, surrealist universe. how is this happening on a sunday afternoon?

"your friend tried to rob me and he had a knife so i had to play dead," she states it in such a matter-of-fact way that it puzzles you. her entire existence is a mystery yet why do you have this lingering impression that she crash-landed into your world at just the right time? maybe you can safely assume that it was the universe's doing, that it was fate that brought you here together—like reconciled stars.

"but why would you play dead when you're being robbed?" you want to pinch yourself for wishing to intrude into her past, and perhaps even her future.

"i don't know. why is the ambulance taking so long?" you can't fault her question.

when the ambulance eventually does arrive, you take your eyes off the "deceased" to recount your story to the paramedics but the body is no longer present. confused, your hands clap your cheeks to check if you're just imagining things. a stinging pain sears through your face—you really aren't dreaming. you exchange dazed looks with the medical attendant.

it seems the corpse had done a runner.

#HONESTLY I WASNT SURE IF I SHOULDVE POSTED THIS BUT YOLO #// suicide #tw suicide #suicide tw #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #mona #mona megistus #mona x reader #genshin au #genshin imagines #mona imagines #genshin impact mona #genshin mona #genshin scenarios #genshin oneshot

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smoochi-dazai · 4 years

Note

can i request a fluffy dazai x reader,, where dazai & reader celebrate after a successful mission or something,, and they go to a bar to drink,, and reader is actually the type of person who gets drunk really fast so dazai needs to take care of them and reader ends up confessing to dazai. reader is like,, flirty + giggly drunk. bonus if dazai teases them about it next morning hehe,, ty in advance!!

✿ “ Love & Champaign ” ✿

—> Bungo Stray Dogs, Dazai Osamu | Reader

—> Sweet | Oneshot

—> Description | after one too many drinks for the celebration, you find yourself in a daze while staring at Dazai. Slurred flirts lead to a confession, will you handle the embarrassment?

—> Little note | not gonna lie, this is like my... my favourite so far.i got carried away tonight haha. 3.8k words! HhhH I got too distracted by cuteness, it’s almost 2am. I started this at 10pm I think. Please enjoy! Sorry if it’s a mess 💕 came from the heart and I never plan ahead for this stuff haha. I just write it as it flows from my soul.

Shifting her weight, the women of familiarity sat comfortably next to Dazai on a tall wooden stool. Her beautiful eyes seemed to grasp onto his heart as she held an angelic appearance. That far off look in her dilated pupils due to the dim lighting, a thoughtless expression purely in her eyes alone- he found it unimaginably attractive. Observing each small detail from the flush on her cheeks to the strands of hair framing her face perfectly.

That woman is you.

The same very person who was invited by none other then Dazai himself to have a drink together, a celebration for a hard task full day at work.

“ So, How come you ordered an extra glass of champagne? ” You inquired, “ Did you invite someone to come drink with us? ”

Glancing to your right, the bartender was the first to gently set the glass half-full of rather expensive wine on the counter you sat at. He was friendly, much older than you or Dazai by appearance. Without a word, he set yours and Dazais glass’s down before leaving you two on your own.

“ It’s for a friend, he won’t be showing up tonight. ” Dazai muttered softly.

“ If he won’t be here, then how come you bought the drink? ” You pushed on for some kind of answer to satisfy the curiosity, looking away from the mysterious drink. Your eyes now focused on Dazai, he held a faint smile while staring at his glass of alcohol. Eyes downcast, appearing to be lost in his thoughts.

As his lips part, Dazai lets out a gentle sigh. Opening his mouth more to find words to reach you, nothing came out. Shutting it again, Dazai raised his hand to the glass, however— instead of picking it up to taste the alcoholic drink, a slight chime echoed through the bar from Dazai flicking the glass once. The spherical ice began to bob up and down in the glass, vibrations from the clash gave him a familiar sense of nostalgia.

Finally, he spoke up.

“ Odasaku. He, Ango and I would often meet here to talk. Those days are long gone now, however. ”

Something in Dazais tone seemed off, you were all too aware of his masks to hide the scars of his past. It was tough, you knew it was— not only for him but you as well. Whenever you’d try to convince him to vent his pain, he’d laugh it off and ask what you were talking about.

Something about those situations always made you hurt, the feeling of uselessness would grasp your heart. Making it almost hard to breathe, the feeling of being unable to help Dazai when his eyes held so much pain he’d try to hideaway. It wasn’t healthy— you wanted to help him but never found yourself capable of doing.

Staying silent, the two of you seemed more distant than ever. In an attempt to clear the atmosphere, you thought of a silly idea that may help. Sliding your drink closer to Odasakus, you found yourself tap the two glasses against each other. As a form of cheers to Odasaku even though he wasn’t quite there to see. The sound of two glasses made Dazai lift his head, staring at you in slight confusion and bewilderment.

“ Cheers,” You exclaim in a hushed tone, “ I never got to meet you. But from all the stories I hear from Dazai, you were a brilliant man. ”

Speechless, Dazai’s gaze leaves your back as soon as you begin to turn around. His own flush of blush began to sink into his skin, thinking over your odd interaction with his past friend. Lifting his drink, a warm smile met his lips.

“ Hey, how about a toast? ” Dazais voice caught your attention, lifting your glass to his.

“ Sure, what’ll it be for this time? ” Assuming it’ll be for your hard day of work at the detective's agency, it somehow didn’t surprise you with what he had said next.

“ To the Stray Dogs. ”

Dazais features held an enchanting smile, cheeks rose while a faint flush could be spotted. Not enough to notice unless you’re close, along with the lighting it was hard to point out. He seemed to genuinely be enjoying himself, just you— him and don’t forget Odasaku.

“ Before we do that, give me a second. ”

You seemed to confuse Dazai more by the minute, yet it seemed to amuse him the more you did so. It wasn’t common for something to surprise that man. It gave him a refreshing chill.

Still holding up your glass, you carefully reach over for Odasakus as well. Lifting it, both hands were now full. Your smile looked ridiculous at this point from the amount of sheer joy. It started to hurt honestly, but you didn’t mind at all. Preparing to have a toast, both glasses were held high for Dazai to join you on the toast in celebration. After a moment of silence, Dazai pushed his glass forward in the air. Hearing the clatter between three glasses, more nostalgia hit him.

“ To the stray dogs! ” / “ To the stray dogs. ” You both say in unison.

Mismatching smiles were viable as you set Odasakus drink back down before downing yours a little too quickly. Meanwhile, Dazai takes a small sip of his, feeling the burning sensation of beer rush down his system.

Both Dazai and you were always pretty close friends within the agency, maybe it was because you somehow tolerated his nonsense without having to smack him. He didn’t find you that interesting from afar, yet now he can never get that side glanced look out of his head from before. You were something he adored, something he found as a sort of coping mechanism from the pain he truly felt within his hollow heart. He never saw you as something similar to him, you were full of life, a flame that never seemed to falter or be brushed away by the gusts of wind.

A deadly nightshade in his system that refused to leave—no matter his aggression, you were always at his side. He’d push you away, he’d raise his voice and tell you how wrong you are when you make absurd accusations of who he really is. Little did you know, they were all true. Or were you aware? Was that why you never seemed dazed by his harsh words? Either way, he knew you both wouldn’t have the chance to get any closer. Always being caught up in work was a struggle, you were just like the rest of the agency. Just a stranger to him deep down— why did the idea make his heart clench? Was his body telling himself another story then he had thought? Truth be told, he couldn’t tell what his feelings for you had been.

“ Hey... Osamu? ”

The thought of falling in love with you was odd. But at the same time, just the idea made butterflies swell up within his stomach. You were incredibly strange, but so was he.

“ Osamu~ ” You whined while leaning closer to him, scooting your stool closer and closer without him noticing. Was he that out of it?

Finally snapping out of it, the feeling of warmth brushing against his skin caught him at a somewhat vulnerable point. Gazing to the source of heat, he came to the realization you were calling his name. But not just any name, not your usual ‘Dazai’ it was his first name that escaped your plump lips. A giant pout was adorned in your features as you lean closer to his face. He lifted a hand to the part where your breath hit his neck, feeling the hairs stand.

“ Hey, stop ignoring me- Osamu! ”

As his eyes met with hers, she started giggling. Leaning away from the bandaged man known as Dazai, she smiles childishly. Both legs swing back and forth.

“ Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? They’re like yummy chocolate...” You chant to yourself and him. “ You’re so handsome~ I’m almost jealous! ”

This was not common for you to be so straight forward, and going by the sudden change in attitude Dazai could only assume you’d already gotten yourself drunk. Sighing deeply, he could only pray you wouldn’t be as much of a handful as Chūya had on his off days.

Speaking of which, either you got drunk abnormally quick— or he was a little too trapped in his thoughts.

Observing your every motion, Dazai put his drink to side calmly. Never once losing his composure, an amused smirk makes his way to his lips. Oh, how he’s going to enjoy teasing you in the morning— he can only wonder how many embarrassing things he could make you say tonight.

“ Thank you, I think you’re rather beautiful yourself. ” Dazai said, the smile remaining in place which only seemed to encourage your flirts unexpectedly.

“ You say that to every girl, ” You mutter, leaning closer to him again while squinting your eyes. Feeling a little light-headed, or did you feel heavier? You couldn’t tell. “ Your smirking is ever hotter... nngh, you’re so perfect~ how do women complain about you so much. If you value that double suicide thingy, doesn’t that just mean your that much more committed? To end everything with them? ”

Dazai decided to reply with a small hum, lifting his glass and taking a sip of his leftover drink. Yours meanwhile had been empty to awhile, how did you manage to get drunk over a single glass? Or did you get another without his eyes catching you? Frankly, he didn’t care, amused with the scenario at play. Something caught his attention though, you’d always disagree with his requests for a lover's suicide while sober. But now you’re complaining about other women not wanting to do it. Does this mean you actually wouldn’t mind going to such extreme lengths with him? God, he was in for a lot tonight. He could tell.

“ You always have a cute smile, you’re talented as hell— ” your speech was replaced with a small fit of giggles, tears escaping your eyes which mildly concerned him for a moment, “ You never fail to make laugh... when I cry, you’re there for me through it all. Maybe your ability is right, you aren’t human! ”

A small laugh escapes Dazais throat at your slurred nonsense, Dazai then enlightens you on his thoughts.

“ If I’m not human,” Dazai began, shifting his body to look at your questioningly, an eyebrow lifted while the other furrowed. “ ...then what would I be, Belladonna?”

“ An angel! ”

Did he hear you right? Was he, the ex-port mafia member— titled as an angel in disguise?

You almost seemed in awe at your own words, making it twice as amusing for him. Before he could even speak, you interrupted his thoughts again.

“ Osamu? Am I allowed to be in love with an angel? Can a human fall for an angel without consequence... will you leave me behind to go to heaven by yourself? ” You questioned him in an unsure whisper, fatigue showing more than the bright red flush coating your cheeks. Those half-lidded eyes gave you away, but you seemed to still manage to keep your consciousness.

Dazai takes a moment to grasp what your spiral of words meant, was this a form of confession? Did you feel that way about him, or were they meaningless drunk words? Surely they had to be, but something about your saddened eyes ... Dazai thought of it plenty of times and found himself really picking his words carefully.

“ I’m not any kind of angel, but I’m sure you’ll find an angel to love you someday. My true nature is nothing but evil, Belladonna. I’m sorry, I can’t be your angel— even if I want too...” Dazai apologized with a more sadden tone, smiling slightly as he brushed his hand through your messy hair.

Both your stools were sat so close, you practically could lean against him safely without falling. And that’s exactly what you found yourself doing.

“ But even Lucifer was once an angel... why can’t you be mine—Osamu, if you can’t be my angel... then... ” Lifting your head off his shoulder, your lazy hands lift to cup his face.

“ Be my handsome- my.. partner in crime, my own Lucifer. ” You mutter close to his ear, something about your tone was somewhat alluring and even seductive. Shutting your eyes tightly while leaning in, your noses brushed against each other, then as you tilted your head you brush your lips against his as if asking for some kind of permission- there was hesitation for a split second. Only for your lips to connect with his forcefully, that’s what sealed the deal. Would he pull away? You desperately held onto him, though your grasp was rather weak due to alcohol in your system.

An abnormal feeling in his heart appeared again, it began to pound in his ears faster by the second— even skipping a couple of beats. What was this? Why did he feel this way, he didn’t deserve it- so why did God bless him with you. Was there a god? If he agreed, would you be willing to go to depths of hell with him, just for some silly love? No, it was more than that for you. You had genuine feelings for him, you cared for the suicidal maniac. His eyes remain open during the kiss, feeling a presence behind you. That’s when he saw a distant light at the door of Lupins bar. There stood Odasaku, smiling at him.

Was this right? Odasaku once said Dazai would never find something to fill that void in his heart. Yet his heart felt like it could burst at any second, tears began to brim his eyes while Odasakus blurry image faded. As the first tear slides down Dazais cheek, he wrapped both arms around your waist, shutting his eyes during the kiss to enjoy you. Pressing your body closer with his than ever before, the kiss deepened. It was so incredibly sloppy, but it was perfect for all its imperfections.

Even if his demons were to ever return, Dazai would protect you just as Odasaku did for him. Odasaku saved Dazai from imaginable darkness in the Mafia, even if it put him through pain- he’s met so many kinder people in the light. Meeting a new world, a world more beautiful and full of colour,

Odasaku standing there almost felt as it’s own congratulations, not to only his hard work- but he was proud of Dazai. The tears pour uncontrollably while the kiss lasted for almost a whole minute. Both pulling away, they panted together- taking each other’s breath away completely. Pulling you into his chest, Dazai combed back your hair, allowing you to rest against him for a while in blissful silence.

He couldn’t let you see him tear up like this. All he cared about now, was his pure happiness. The idea of his lonely days being brushed away now swept away with the wind. He knew this won’t cure his pain, and it hurt to remember. So all he tried to do was forget that pain for a minute, allowing you to take over his mind.

He loves you.

And now that he understood the feelings were mutual? Dazai could maybe learn to be himself more often with you around.

After a while of his deep thoughts, Dazais bandaged arm around your waist relaxed. While your body fell limp against him, you were knocked out cold. Smiling to himself, Dazai looked at the bartender's familiar smile- it was the same person who worked there from ages ago.

Taking you out for a drink wasn’t a mistake after all, though the idea of Kunikida getting pissed with you two because you’ll probably have a pretty bad hangover in the morning at work is gonna be troublesome. Guess it’s an excuse to stay home with you.

“ I’ll be your Lucifer, as long as you continue being my beautiful Belladonna. ” Smiling gently to himself, Dazai began to lift you off of him. Slipping off the stool, he changed your position. One arm was beneath your knees while the other hoisted up to your back. Holding you close to his chest, he thanked the bartender and left the bar. Three glasses were left behind on the table.

In the morning, you woke up feeling sick to your stomach. A pounding heartbeat was left ringing in your head as you sat up in your bed, when did you ever return home? Struggling to remember what happened in the bar with Dazai, you throw your legs off your bed. Lifting yourself, you began to stumble. Suddenly a buzz came from your phone, tripping over your own feet you fall into your bed again. Groaning tiredly, you felt so weak right now. What in the world? How much did you drink last night to get like this... oh yeah- the phone. Lazily throwing your hand up onto your bedside table, you search for your phone. Only for someone else to take it from you. Lifting your head from the mattress, your eyes widen at the sight of a shirtless Dazai. Feeling self-conscious you then realize you were wearing next to nothing either. Suddenly your face bursts into flames, becoming a stuttering mess.

“ Dazai- w-we didn’t do anything bad last night did we? ” You blurted out, he took notice of your embarrassment and smiles innocently.

“ Of course not, we just came to your house and I helped you strip to sleep easier~ your body is incredibly hot if I do say so myself, Belladonna. Shame you hide it all the time. ”

“ You’re one to talk Dazai, always covered in b- wait... you stripped me?! ” more flush coated your cheeks, picking up a pillow— you threaten to throw it at Dazai. Almost I’m que, your head suddenly began to pound again, throwing the pillow at his feet instead.

Concerned, Dazai rushed out of the room to get you some water. Returning to the room to find you holding your mouth and stomach while hunching over, he could only worry more while crouching down. Lifting your head gently, he held the glass of water to your lips.

“ Drink it slowly,” he instructed almost like a parent or some boyfriend, worried about your health. He guessed the teasing must be saved for later, your health is a priority to him. Unless...

Following the orders, you grasp the cup in his hand while he still assisted with a simple task. It was rather endearing, who knew Dazai could be so gentle. The water went down smoothly, feeling a little clearer in the head at least. But then suddenly you felt it begin to come back up- dashing out of your room you find your bathroom.

Dazai chases after you, finding you hunched over the Toilet gagging. It wasn’t an attractive scene, in the slightest. But he found himself smile- remembering last night.

Kneeling to your height, his hand gently caressed your back. Soothing you slightly as you confuse to gag- he remained at your side through it all. As your system felt clearer it finally ended, lifting your head from the toilet bowl, you flush the toilet. Staring nervously back at Dazai, “ I’m sorry you have to see me like this, I hope I wasn’t a handful last night. I hardly remember anything, what I do know is it gave me a massive headache though. ” You curse out loud, head refusing to give you any mercy.

“ It’s alright, I know it’s rough the first couple drinks. ” Dazai smiles, it was so sincere you couldn’t help but question what lightened his mood so much. You weren't complaining though, it made your heart flutter. “ Not only that, but you said some pretty bold things while you were drunk~ ”

Oh god. You knew it was coming- the bastard was prepared to tease you for how long now?... oh sweet god.

Dramatically throwing his arms around him, he began to wiggle.

“ You’re so handsome~ oh you’re perfect Osamu~!” He teased, enjoying how embarrassed you got. “ Be my Lucifer! You muttered in my ear, ah~ Belladonna your way with words made my heart soar. ”

“ Shut up, there is no way I said all of that to you. ”

“ Playing denial now are we, my sweet Belladonna?~ want me to continue? ” Dazai challenged, it was all playful but it still had you fuming with frustration and embarrassment.

“ Do I even have a choice? ” You frown, feeling defeated. And while you complain, the small awkward smile and blush gave away your true emotions.

“ This time, you do. ”

To your surprise, his words took you a moment to understand. Looking at him disbelief, you saw a playful smirk- that smirk was way too damn attractive yet the dangerous intent was terrifying.

“ Just kidding~ how could I let a chance like this pass up? ”

Knew it.

“ Though, I do have a question. ” Dazais tone suddenly becomes more serious, no longer as playfully and happy-go-lucky as before. Leaving you confused, until he lifted you off the ground. Pulling you into a hug, you could feel his breath against your ear.

“ If all you said is true, would you commit a lover's suicide with me someday? ” The question seemed a little too silly but a part of you couldn’t turn it down at this very moment, maybe because of how serious he seemed while saying it.

“ Maybe?... ” You whisper back weakly, unsure of yourself.

“ Let me rephrase,” Dazais grasp on you became stronger until he pushed you away a little, just enough for you to be face to face. Holding your shoulders, his arms snake around your waist instead in a split second- eyes staring deeply into yours.

“ Will you be mine? ”

In reality, he was just repeating what you had told him many times during that drunken state, but the fact he was the one to ask you out here in your home? You could faint again. Nodding with a small smile, you tried to hold back a stupid goofy grin. With that response, Dazai holds you close to him, his arms felt so secure- you couldn’t help but relax under his touch.

You two finally were official, and you were both finally happy. He found his reason to live and even received Odasakus approval. But it wouldn’t end at that, oh no.

“ You know this isn’t saving you from my teasing, yes? ” Dazai chuckles, sending shivers down your spine while expecting only the best of the worst for your fate. You were defeated, but the happiness distracted you from the cruelty of his future teasing.

“ I wouldn’t have it any other way, Dork. ”

Tags : @i-am-a-bastard @writing-for-me-at-this-point @soukokuwu

#smoochi dazai #bungo stray dogs #bsd #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs imagines #bsd imagines #Osamu dazai x reader #Dazai Osamu x reader #Osamu Dazai Imagine #dazai osamu imagines #Sweet #fluffy fluff

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chibinekochan · 3 years

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How to become a Demon Ruler 110

Part: 01 I 02 I 03 I 04 I 05 I 06 I 07 I 08 I 09

GN. Reader insert

taglist: @ayesha95 ; @nomnomcupcakesworld ; @fex-phoenix ; @depressed-bixch ; @kitsune-oji

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I wake up slightly exhausted.

At that moment I remember I have some shopping to do. I instantly feel energized.

I stand up and do my usual morning routine but instead of the outfit that Barbatos prepared for me, I decide to venture into my closet.

I feel like I'm on an expedition. Barbatos has been very busy with acquiring whatever he could find in my size. A true wonderland of clothes.

I'm very impressed and overwhelmed.

At long last, I find an outfit perfect for a shopping trip.

I hurry to meet Barbatos at the breakfast table.

Instead, I find Diavolo waiting for me.

"Good morning Diavolo. I didn't think I'd see you this early."

"Good morning, what a lovely outfit. I sadly bear some bad news. Some demons caused a massive problem, and Barbatos had to go and resolve it." Diavolo looks very distraught.

"Oh no, is he going to be okay?" I'm mostly concerned about Barbatos' safety.

"He is an immensely powerful demon. We don't need to worry about him. I feel just bad that we have to scrap your plans." Diavolo looks honestly stricken with grief.

"It can't be helped. Undoubtedly I can get to enjoy the town another day. Even when I was honestly looking forward to this." I feel disappointed, despite everything.

Diavolo seems to be more hurt than I am.

Then suddenly his eyes light up. "I will just go with you."

"What? Don't you have responsibilities and didn't Barbatos say it's dangerous since you are the prince?" I can't imagine that this is a good idea.

"I can surely take a day off? And I'm not worried about my safety at all. I merely want to make you smile." Diavolo has no concerns at all.

"I will be fine. I can probably find some nice gifts in the castle, and can always order something with express shipping." I find his offer very sweet, but Barbatos’ possible reaction makes me very worried. Mostly for Diavolo.

"Nonsense. I will simply wear a disguise and will take all the blame from Barbatos." He waves me off. I somehow start thinking that Diavolo just genuinely wants to go to the city. He seemed pretty excited about going.

"What if you get attacked?" I still can't shake the bad feeling in my gut.

"I'm touched that you worry about my health but I assure you that there aren't many demons that could hurt me. In addition, I will gladly protect you with my life." He says this so casually that my mouth almost drops.

"Please don't do that. I would never be able to be happy if you would get injured because of me." I somehow feel very sad thinking about this.

Diavolo looks at me with gentle eyes and places his big hand on my head. "I won't let that happen."

My heart beats like a drum.

Suddenly I have forgotten any argument that I could present.

"So does that cover all of your concerns?" Diavolo looks at me with his nonchalant eyes.

"Not really... but I trust you." I somehow can't resist him at all. Truly dangerous.

Diavolo nods with a beaming smile. "Then let's go." He holds his big hand out towards me. His eyes meet mine. I have absolutely no way of saying no right now.

So I take his hand. It's just as pleasant as it was the last time. I smile at him. "Yes, let's go." This is very charming and thoughtful of Diavolo.

Maybe there is nothing to worry about? Honestly, who could be stronger than the demon prince? Well, maybe his father.

I will just enjoy this day with all my heart.

With this decision made I feel much better.

So we head into town. I'm pretty surprised to find it looking pretty normal. Other than that everybody is a demon.

True to his word nobody seems to take note of Diavolo.

I kinda just look at everything for a while. Everything seems new and exciting while being strangely ordinary.

There is a clothing store with some very nice stuff. I find something I like and want to show it to Diavolo. I turn around, just to find Diavolo is no longer there.

He is so tall it's a mystery how he just straight-up vanished.

I don't know where I am right now. The best option I have is to call Diavolo.

Just before I get my phone out a man with curly flaxen hair and striking eyes. If I had to recipe him in one word it would be gorgeous.

"Sorry dear, but would you mind telling me where you found that shirt?" He asks me with a seductive smile.

"Right over there. If you get it for yourself, you should get it in pink." I blurt out without much thought.

"Haha, I see you possess a sense of my style. Would you mind helping me for a little moment? I promise I will make up for it." He looks at me in a flirty manner. I feel flustered about someone so pretty hitting on me but I can't get distracted. "Sorry but I just got separated from my Ummm brother. So I need to find him." I almost slip and call him Diavolo. I can't let a stranger know who I am with.

"So your umm brother can't even wait a single moment longer?" He smiles at me with his flirty gaze, somehow it fills me with an abnormal desire to follow along with his request. It's the strangest sensation.

"Well… I mean…" I don't know why, but I can't seem to refuse him.

"Pretty please? I know you won't regret it." He lulls me with his eyes. Like a hunter eyeing his prey.

His hand nonchalantly grazed my arm, a shiver followed his touch. Such a mysterious feeling. Then suddenly an electric spark flows between us. "Ahh." I yelp in pain and jerk my arm back. Whatever happened between us is suddenly gone. "I should go now."

"How very interesting of you to break my charm like that." He looks at me very amused.

I look at him in confusion. "Are you an incubus?"

He giggles. "I might be to some but no."

"Asmo what are you doing?" I hear someone speaking in a harsh tone.

"I was just passing time." Asmo shrugs.

I look at the tall raven-haired man that has just called out to him. He seems very impressive.

That name, though. "Wait, are you one of the seven demon brothers?"

"Do you want an autograph?" He flashes me a sparkling smile.

"Not at all. The name was just familiar." I couldn't care any less to be honest.

"There you are, I was looking everywhere." Then I hear Diavolos familiar voice.

I feel immense relief. The tall black-haired man looks at Diavolo with some sort of annoyance.

"Sorry, I just saw something nice, and then you were gone." I feel ashamed that I got lost like a small child.

"That was on you Diavolo. Lucky it was only Asmo who ran into you. Has he done anything to you?" Initially, he looks at Diavolo and then at Asmo and me. Asmo seems utterly amused by the whole situation.

"No." I don't think I should mention him trying to charm me.

"Asmo did you try anything?" The tall man sternly looks at Asmo.

Asmo shrugs. "I might have tried to charm them, but it wasn't working."

Here I tried to assist him but he just straight-up admits it.

"So your charm wasn't effective? That's pretty impressive." Diavolo seems proud of me. I don't understand it but it feels nice.

"Well maybe impressive, but still having a human running around here will only cause trouble." The black-haired man doesn't seem to hold back in front of Diavolo. They must be close.

"Especially such a delightful one." Asmo chimes on from behind me. I'm not sure what to feel about his comment.

"Right? I haven't even introduced you probably yet. Let me fix this. Meet my new sibling." Diavolo goes over to me and introduces me in a genuinely friendly and proud manner.

"I see so that's the one I heard so much about these past days." The dark-haired man looks at me with seemingly conflicting feelings. I can't tell at all what they are.

I'm unsure what to say to him.

Diavolo then turns to me. "And these are Asmodeus and Lucifer." He points at them with his typical smile.

Somehow I feel very mingled emotions now myself. So this man is Lucifer. I stare at him with awe, fear, and curiosity.

Then I gather a small breath. "It's an honor to meet you." I politely bow for him.

I can hear Asmo laugh behind me.

"You could use some of their humbleness." Lucifer reprimands Asmo and then offers me a slight smile.

"Well, they are cute. Now I look forward to that party." Asmo seems very cheerful.

"First of all we have to finish our business here so come on now," Lucifer speaks to Asmo like he is a small child.

"But I wanted to purchase this." Asmo sighs in an overly dramatic way.

"I'm sorry we have to cut our first meeting so short. After everything I have heard, I'm very curious about you. I can't say I'm disappointed." Lucifer seems to look right into my core somehow. I'm not sure how to feel about him.

"I hope we will have a delightful conversation soon." I bestow him a courteous smile.

"I hope we can continue where we left off." Asmo winks playfully at me.

Diavolo raises an eyebrow at him, Lucifer shaking his head.

They then walk away. Leaving me and Diavolo behind.

"Are you alright?" Diavolo looks at me, searching for any injuries.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry I just let go of you." I had promised him to keep holding hands too.

"It was my fault. I got distracted when I saw Lucifer and wanted to introduce you, but when I turned back around you vanished." Diavolo is feeling guilty.

"I got distracted by the clothes here too. So I guess we are both bad." I offer him an encouraging smile.

"You can't be bad, so I accept the full responsibility." Diavolo is pretty adamant about this.

"I wonder what you even told Lucifer about me." This is bothering me.

"Umm just about everything. I guess you could say I was bragging about you." Diavolo seems very pleased about this.

"But I'm just an ordinary person. There isn't much to brag about." I feel a bit embarrassed.

"Maybe you just can't tell how amazing you are, but anyway have you found something nice here?" Diavolo seems to want to change the topic and since it's pretty embarrassing I let him off.

"I kinda liked this top but now I think it would suit Asmo better, especially in pink." I can't imagine wearing this after all.

"I think it would great on you, but let's get it for Asmo." Diavolo takes a brief look at the top and then hands me the pink-colored version. That is one present down.

I then spot a rack with very stylish-looking sunglasses. "Oh, those would look on Mammon. What do you think?" I hold a pair out to Diavolo.

"I can see him wearing them, so I'd say it's a great choice." Diavolo approves right away. "You took a liking to Mammon didn't you?" Diavolo seems to ask nonchalantly, but I can tell it's somehow bothering him.

"He is pretty okay, but I don't think I'd ever date him." He just isn't my type.

Diavolo nods with a smile, it looks like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. "That's good then."

Mammons reputation must be very terrible if both Barbatos and Diavolo disapprove so much of him. I can't imagine any other reason for their behavior.

"Where should we go now?" After paying for the items we stand outside again.

"I think Satan's favorite bookstore is right around the corner here. Lucifer once showed me." Diavolo once again takes my hand.

"You are very close to Lucifer aren't you?" I can't tell why but it bothers me somehow.

"It's complicated, but he is someone who I'd like to call a close friend but I fear he perceives it differently." Diavolo has a complicated expression. "I understand him better now. He is very close to his brothers. I never fully understood that. Ever since meeting you that changed, though. A lot of his actions make now sense to me. Maybe we can overcome the rift between us one day." Diavolo looks wistful at me.

It sounds like their relationship is very complicated. I can't imagine what kind of feelings Diavolo might have hidden deep inside of him.

"I hope that I can support you even more in the future." This surely is the best course of action. If Diavolo truly harbors secret feelings of some sort I want to be there for him. Even if I can't completely ignore my pain.

"That is very sweet of you. This is one of the things that I love very much about you." He gives me a shiny smile. Strangely it hurts today. Especially since his words of love have a different meaning than romantic love.

Maybe it is for the best if I strive for a purely sibling-like relationship with him. I feel uneasy about this, but I can't think of a different way to protect my heart.

I conceal my feelings by turning away and noticing the entrance to the bookstore. "This must be it."

"Oh yeah, good catch." Diavolo was seemingly lost in thought.

We go into the store, and I head directly to the counter.

"Hello, I look for a picture book with a lot of cat pictures. Preferably cute ones." I know exactly what I'm looking for.

"We have a few of these over in the picture book section right over there." The store clerk gives me a normal customer service response.

"Much obliged. I wonder if you know about a customer named Satan. I want to buy the book for him, and wonder which of them he already has." I decide to flat out ask him.

The clerk gets an uneasy expression. "I can't just give information out like that."

"I know but it's a present. Imagine I'd gift him a book he already has. He would be extremely upset. I just want to make sure he is happy." I smile at him, knowing very well that Satan is the avatar of wrath. A person well known for his anger.

The clerk's expression darkens. "He has every single one of the ones sold in the devildom."

So he is aware. "I see thank you so much." I smile, well of course it wouldn't be this easy.

"It seems like I have to ask Barbatos for help with this one then." I turn back to Diavolo.

"It seems he is pretty obsessed with cats." Diavolo seems unsure what to say.

"It's not an issue at all. I somehow think he probably owns every piece of cat literature that he can get his hands onto. Lucky enough I own something that he doesn't own. A massive collection of VHS with adorable cat videos. These were gifted to me. All homemade and very cute. I will also ask Barbatos to bring me some of my old Manga for Levi." I smile at Diavolo. I somehow expected this.

"That only leaves a pillow for Belphie but more difficult will be to find something for Lucifer. I heard he likes classical records and other rare collectibles but I'm sure you know more about that." I look hopeful at Diavolo.

He nods. "It's very hard to find something for him. He owns almost everything that he wants." He sighs.

I feel terrible for him.

"Maybe it would be better to give him something like concert tickets." I try to think of a way around this specific issue.

"That's not a bad idea, but he rarely gets to enjoy them due to his fame. Trust me I relate to that issue." Diavolo looks down.

"How about tickets for a human world concert then? Or we could reserve him a private concert. Well, that might be too pricey, but that would be a good option for a future present from you." A human concert would at least solve the fame issue.

"A brilliant idea. I will also keep the suggestion in mind for his birthday." Diavolo smiles happily. I'm delighted I could help, but it's still hurtful.

"So should we look for a pillow now?" I change the topic.

"Yes, there is a luxury bed store around here that just opened. I remember cutting the ribbon myself just a few weeks ago." Diavolo doesn't seem to notice my shift in topics and just goes along with it.

So that is where we are heading next.

The bed store is very high-end. I grab several pillows. None of them seem good enough.

"Do you know what kind of colors Belphie likes?" I think this will help me to narrow it down.

"Hmm purple? He likes cow patterns." Diavolo thinks about it for a bit.

"Cow pattern hmmm." I look around and see one with that pattern. "Let's see." I squish the pillow. It's very pleasant. "I think this one is pretty nice. What do you think Diavolo?" I hold the pillow out to him.

He touches it. "Indeed, this will be perfect for him."

I nod in agreement when an overly eager seller approaches us. "That is a lovely choice. We also have a matching couple’s bed set for a very memorable time." They are desperate for sales.

"Oh, we aren't…" I want to correct the clerk.

"This is a very cute set. I think we should take it." Diavolo seems to have no clue that the clerk thinks that we are a couple.

It's certainly a cute set, so I don't have the heart to correct him. "It's absolutely lovely. Should we purchase one for Barbatos too?" I find one that is the same style but a different color."This one would match."

"What a lovely idea. We get these three then." Diavolo hands it all to the slightly troubled clerk. They know better than to question a customer.

So we pay and head outside of the store.

I hope you enjoyed today’s surprise guests.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me fanfiction #demon ruler 101 #How to become a Demon Ruler #obey me diavolo #omswd #obey me one master to rule them all

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howdyhowdyyalls · 3 years

Text

Where One Story Should End, Another Begins

Okay y’all strap in, my first actual series (instead of just one shots lol) has only been on Wattpad so far but I’m bringing her to Tumblr. Anyone who knows me knows I’m a psych major with my own mental health struggles and Wade Wilson as a comfort character so what the hell, here’s a Wade x reader series with some emotional bits haha.

Here’s the Wattpad description: You never knew how lost a person could be until you found yourself hanging from the edge of a high-rise building; you also never knew how much life could change from the introduction of a single man. From the day you met on the roof of that building, there has been a connection between you and Wade Wilson. A relationship consisting of a lot of confusion, some anger, and maybe even love.

Sidenote, several chapters are already out on Wattpad but I think I’ll space out the posts on Tumblr lol, but here’s chapter one! Also, Wade’s personality and healing factor here is based more on the original comic character than the movie interpretation (Meaning he’s slightly less vulgar and feels the full pain of his injuries. They still heal, but he also still feels all the pain until they do. Also, I love Ryan Reynolds’s interpretation, I’m just sticking more to the comics for these purposes.)

I really hope people will take the time to read this and let me know what you think

Warnings (These will be chapter by chapter, not for the whole series): suicide, depression, swearing, blood mention

Word Count: 2,076

Fuck this. You'd had enough.

As you walked down the street to the highest building in the blocks surrounding your apartment, there was no doubt in your mind that this was the right thing to do. You'd put up with too much pain for too long and you were ready to make it stop once and for all. You'd thought this through very well. You knew what you were about to do, and you were ready. So, you entered the building (a hotel, you believed) and took the elevator up as high as it would go. Your hands were shaking as the pads of your fingers clamored for the cold buttons, but now was not the time to get cold feet.

You had to do this.

The elevator opened on the roof of the building, which served as a nice patio for hotel residents to relax on. Ironic, you thought, that you'd be flinging yourself to your death from a resort that was designed to be a place of relaxation and calmness. Regardless, you pressed on to the railing of the building, looking down at the massive drop before you.

26 stories- enough to kill anyone. It was even more intimidating in person than you imagined, but as you looked down the treacherous drop to the alley below, you waited in vain for the sense of terror that you'd been expecting. This view was enough to scare the living hell out of anyone; perhaps more worrying than the drop itself was the fact that it didn't scare you. Instead, a bizarre sense of peace came over you. Soon, the pain would be gone. Just the thought of that was inviting enough for you to firmly grip the railing and carefully swing your legs over so that you were now on the opposite side, clinging on to the building by just a few thin bars. You stood there for a moment, gathering your thoughts as you willed your breathing to steady.

You were ready.

"You don't want to do that."

The voice from behind you startled you so much that you almost fell off on accident. You were careful to quickly replace the look of surprise on your face with one of annoyance. With your hands still tightly on the railing, you slightly turned to glance out of the corner of your eye to see who the hell would also happen to be on the roof of a 26 story building at 2:30 AM. Once you caught sight of the figure though, you turned more fully to take a second look. You could make out the silhouette of a person sitting in the dark corner of the roof patio; you hadn't noticed him earlier because he was sitting just behind the door you'd come from. The stranger was entirely disguised by a red suit with black accents, and judging by the voice and body shape, a man. His suit was designed such that you couldn't see a single bit of skin, including his face- the eyes on the mask were completely whited out, giving him an eerie appearance. Your eyes trailed down from the mask to the rest of him to notice... weapons? Fuck, now that you looked closely, there were at least two pistols on him, and you could see what appeared to be the hilt of a knife poking out of the top of his boots.

"I really need to find a better way of entering a conversation, don't I? Been trying to think of a catchphrase, haven't come up with anything yet," he babbled; you weren't even sure if he was talking to himself or to you.

"...What? Who... who do you think you are, telling me what I want? Just- Never mind. Leave me alone," You snapped. You hadn't planned to even talk to the man, but you also hadn't expected him to make such a silly comment, given the situation. It caught you off guard a bit, so you turned from him to focus on the task at hand. This weirdo was not going to ruin this for you.

"Ouch. Just tryin' to help." He sounded strangely calm and unbothered by the fact that you were literally hanging off the edge of a building, poised to jump- he spoke with the ease of someone making small talk at a bus stop.

"Just FYI, that thing they say about dying from falling being painless is total bullshit. You don't faint in the air, and even though you die on impact with the ground, you still feel all the pain in the world, just for a second. Trust me, it's the worst." He said this with a slightly more earnest tone than anything else thus far, but his nonchalant vibe didn't falter. Even though you couldn't see him, you could still hear him moving behind you, even over the chaotic orchestra of city sounds below you. From his footsteps, you could tell he was standing now and walking around, likely towards you.

"What... what the hell are you talking about?" You finally caved and inquired more of his seemingly deranged mumbling.

"Take it from me, it's not a good way to go," he stated matter of factly. This earned him another glance from you, which he noticed and he returned the stare to you, now standing several meters away. At least... you think he was looking at you. It was dark, and with the mask you couldn't see his eyes whatsoever.

"I don't know who the hell you are, but clearly you're insane. Just fuck off, okay? Leave me alone," you barked at him, desperately wishing this maniac to leave so you could just do what you came to do and die in peace. Though... the longer you stood there listening to him ramble, the more you were able to take in your surroundings. The tears had slowly stopped, likely because you simply had no more to cry. Now with a slightly more clear head, you were able to take in the true height at which you clung to the railing. The breeze threatening to pluck you from the structure was somehow both inviting and terrifying. You'd thought this through well, you had everything sorted out so that you can finally die and die in peace... but the stranger's words lingered in your head. What if it did hurt...

You were very abruptly ripped from your thoughts at the realization that the man was now standing a mere few feet from you, leaning against the railing you clung to, just on the opposite side.

"Jesus! Didn't you hear me? I said to fuck off!" you snapped even more sharply this time, willing anger to hide your fear from this whack job who had no right to be here in the first place. You'd thought through and planned for many things surrounding your suicide, but this certainly was not one of them.

"Yeah, I heard you. Just 'cause I heard you doesn't mean I have to listen. Same for you. You can completely ignore me and jump if you want. But I'm kinda sensing there's a reason you haven't let go yet..." He mumbled. A wave of emotions came over you at his words. First confusion, then anger at him for barging into your affairs and presuming to know anything about anything.

"Because you're freaking me out. Don't make me say it again- fuck. off." You hissed. Weird... even though he still wore a mask and you couldn't make out even the slightest expression on his face, his silence carried a strange somberness to it, making you feel just the slightest twinge of guilt, so you very quietly added, "Please. I've had enough.. not just with you, with everything. I've thought this out well. I know what I'm doing. I know this is what needs to be done. Just, please, leave me be." The man seemed to be able to hear the cracks in your voice, much like the cracks in a dam, sealing away an ocean of emotion and pain that you fought so desperately to hold back. You were doing this so as to rid others of the burden you put on them. This man- whoever this bizarre stranger was- didn't need or deserve to be burdened by you either. When he still didn't respond, you looked up at him; after only several minutes of conversing, you could already infer that silence was uncommon with this one and that it must mean he is actually thinking. You also noticed that he'd shifted a bit closer to you now, close enough that you might be able to reach out and touch him.

"Yeah, but I'm here now. And I know it might've sounded like a joke, but I was serious when I said I knew what it felt like. Physically and emotionally. I've been through this whole shit show before but from your side, except there was no one there to try and stop me. Not that it would've worked anyways. I know what it's like to feel like there's no other option. I know I can't stop you, too. All I can do is tell you what I know, and that is that you're about to make a huge mistake. Come back over here with me and let's talk about this, preferably when you aren't quite literally clinging to life."

You hesitated for a moment, but soon frustration boiled within you again, angry with yourself this time for even considering his offer. When you didn't respond, he continued to speak.

"Well, if you won't join me-" he began, firmly holding the railing and swinging his legs over to your side, "then I guess I'll join you," he grinned, making you realize just how much of a madman he must be.

"What the hell are you doing?! Get back, leave me alone!" You screamed at him this time, your entire body trembling from adrenaline. Anywhere else, you'd probably have shoved the freak, but now definitely wasn't the time. He just looked out at the skyscrapers surrounding you, then his gaze landed on you once more.

"Beautiful out, isn't it?" He gestured broadly to the city skyline with one hand, but when his hand was towards you, he very suddenly snatched your wrist with an iron grip, tethering you to him and to the building and earning a gasp from you.

"What the fuck?! HELP! Someone-" You panicked now. Suicide seemed like an okay option when you were the one in control, but now that your life was in the hands of this stranger, fear flooded your body. You wanted to try and pry his hand off of you but if you let go with your other hand to do so, you really would fall.

"No one can hear us up here, sweetheart. I didn't want to have to do this but I'm not letting you die on my watch. Will you please come back over the railing with me? I'm asking ever so politely." You honestly couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, but it was now or never. You turned your head to face him and tried to apologize, but your voice was too weak and no words came out. Instead, you mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' with tears in your eyes as you took a deep breath and let go with both hands.

What happened next was almost incomprehensible, and it happened so fast that you didn't even know what happened at first. When you should've been falling to your death, you felt an arm wrap around your waist and lift you hard, throwing you over the railing back onto the patio with a painful thud against the concrete. As you looked up, you realized with absolute horror that the man was no longer there- he must've lost his balance and fallen in an effort to save you. You scrambled to your feet as fast as you could and dashed over the the edge of the building, terrified to look down but you knew you had to. His death was on you now.

However, what you saw when you glanced down was somehow even more heart-stopping than the knowledge that he fell.

The man was a crippled mess, laying in a massive pool of blood. What made you dizzy though is what happened next.

He had plummeted twenty-six stories to the ground.

And he waved back up to you.

#marvel #fanfic #fanfiction #wade wilson #smut #fluff #angst #depression #suicide #tw #writing #deadpool #dead pool #x reader #wade wilson x reader #deadpool x reader #romance #friendship

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ornamental-coral · 3 years

Note

Do you have houses combos you love besides Snake Bird ?

Hi sorry it’s take me so long to get to you ‘nonnie human you. I promise if anyone sends me questions, I will get to them eventually! It just takes a while for me thinking about them, researching about them (doing Birdy Bird things with even a one-sentence question...), forgetting I have a sort-hat-chats centered tumblr account (which is... can sort of a Bird thing but also a me thing), and then coming back so we are here (there. somewhere)

I myself am a Snake-Bird. I think I’m pretty neat. Birds are usually very good at entertaining themselves. I think. And I’m lucky I like myself enough because I spend a lot of time with me haha.

I’m a little in love with a remarkable amount of Lion primaries, Snake secondaries and Bird primaries (especially with a Snake secondary to make them extra hard to hold onto *rolls eyes) and apparently I love writing Badger Primaries? I guess I find the challenge of building an “ideal” society that is willing to address the current failings of our timeline a worthwhile challenge and my ink-children rise from the ether to meet me.

I’ve expanded below bar because this is actually a really interesting concept to me - how does a particular house combination react to the others. Below is just my meandering through how specifically My Snake Primary Bird secondary might react on a surface level to the other house types. This doesn’t mean I’m right. There are as many ways of acting within the house system as there are human beings and keep in mind, this is all in good fun.

____________________

Lions

The Idealism of the Lion Primary is something that I find admirable. I posted a more extended musing on the position of Snake Birds within media here. I think the Snake in me understands that when you pick up a person the way Snakes do, you pick up a lot of their wants and regrets too. Snakes pick up People, so that means the whole package. A Lion with a worthy cause can be a very attractive thing to a Snake, who will follow and support them in a very specific kind of way.

With Double Lions, and Lion Snakes there’s that urge to run after them with a fire-extinguisher in one hand and a big stick in the other - one to put out the fires a Double Lion inevitably lights and the Lion Snake may try purposefully to stoke, and the other to beat off anyone who dares to tell your Lion that they cannot Be A Lion. That’s something only the Snake can do, and that’s only because no matter what the Snake says, the Lion is still Their Person warts and all and the Snake Bird knows damn well what they were getting into, or at least thought they did.

Lion Birds house-match secondaries with Snake Birds but can have explosively different moral codes, largely because they method match. I personally find some Lion Bird characters a little grating because as the audience, I feel I’m getting the same information as the Lion, but as a Snake I have a little too much self-preservation to imagine myself doing anything much about it - at least not the way a majority of Lion Bird characters act - or I come to different conclusion. I also hate conspiracy theories because they require leaps of logic the my Bird model typically just can’t tolerate but the felt-house Lion will participate in. However, Lion Birds can also be the hard-boiled PIs, the Best-at-their-Job secret agents (hi Agent Coulson), the one who has Seen the World and Still Believes It Can Be Saved. So that’s admirable and fun.

Lion Badgers are sweet but my Snake Bird goes “fires, fires everywhere”. And like, not the kind your Lion Snake might think is funny when the Snake Bird tries to put them out. Think Steve Rodgers. MCU Steve has a really strong Snake Performance though when it comes to Bucky which MY Snake finds really confusing because it is So Strong I’d be willing to be money he would have at least tried to find a better way to get rid of the Tesseract if Bucky hadn’t fallen from that train and been declared KIA. I think that particular type of Snake performance also confuses Tony, which is part of why Civil War was the way it was.

But yeah, a fire that a Lion Badger wants to light? it’s not going to go out. For a Snake, having that as Your Person means you either really ride or die for them - and might actually literally have to die, or you are keeping them from burning themselves out before they accomplish whatever they’re doing. For a Snake Bird? this is alarming as hell and it’s a fight between the Secondaries to make sure the Lion takes care of themselves as part of the Lion’s “hard work” Badger, if they’re your person.

Birds

Bird primaries will “build” the people they love into the way they see the world. As a Snake, I think this is just really appealing to me? Snakes are loyal, and older Snakes have the life experience to realize that - painful as it is - this loyalty will not always be reciprocated in the way you hope for (this is the stereotypical bone of contention between Lions, Badgers and Snakes. Lions are focused on their cause and if the Snake’s protective instincts get in the way of that, that causes problems It also hurts when a Lion’s mission supersedes their affection for their Snake people. Badgers’ concerns are for their communities and the split of attention can drive the individually focused Snake crazy). If you get built into the Bird’s world, that always felt like something special and something that took hard work, which made it all the more valuable.

My Snake Birds also likes to imagine it’s equipped to learn to the things that a Bird variety believes in and address those things. It’s the kind of relationship that has the potential to go very wrong, and I do realize that. I think Snake Birds have the tendency to want to be everything for Their Person (or people) and our powers of observation mean that we take it a little personally when we’ve missed something. I’m tempted to call Kaz Brekker of Six of Crows a Snake Bird and it drives him to distraction that he can’t be everything, everywhere, all at once to the handful of a people he truly and deeply cares about.

The Bird Snake in particular house matches in a way that can be particularly challenging and attractive to a Snake Bird? A Snake Bird’s tool is, well, the Bird, and the whole persona can feel ridiculously pleased by being able to “pin down” the Bird Snake, which does not necessarily lend itself to being pinned. There’s also this strong urge to understand the Bird Snake.

So there’s the Snake secondary who delights in finding new ways to be, and a Bird Secondary delights in learning new things. The discovery element in that relationship can, as long as the Bird Secondary is not stifled by the Snake Primary’s concern, actually be really rewarding. Birds, and Bird Snakes in particular are also often really unique. They think differently, act differently, can be off putting to certain types of house combinations because their moral code can come off is so blue-orange, and is Built on top of that. Snakes take great pride in being very “this is my Person and their brand of weirdness is just another thing I love about them. And on top of that, I Know them.” with their people in any situation, and if a Snake can eventually prove to their Bird Primary that that feeling is unwavering, that’s a relationship that becomes central to both Snake and Bird.

That isn’t to say Birds can’t go dark, but usually they learn to be that way given Birds are evidence-gatherers. Unfortunately, this means I love them too because people of my generation and all generations before and hence have a thing for characters with trauma (see Loki, greasy prince extraordinaire). It’s -- it’s never not been a thing. Take a look at freaking Gilgamesh, which is the oldest things that we know of, look at Enkidu, and tell me he wasn’t your favorite. Gilgamesh is kind an arschloch of highest proportions. As a more palatable example of this Bird-villain thing, I sort of suspect Bucky Barnes is a Bird of some flavor. If he killed one person as the Winter Soldier, he’d feel bad but probably admit it was the brain washing - but he did it dozens of times. He wonders what does this say about him? He is possibly a Badger, but even pre-winter-soldier he doesn’t seem to care on as wide a scale as a Badger typically does. Steve is Built into the fabric of his world, and he doesn’t react to Steve’s death the way I expect a Snake to either. Maybe a really Old Seasoned Snake and I mean technically he’s old? but the cryogenics thing sort of means he’s not old enough to just let it go. He also doesn’t follow the boy from Brooklyn for reasons I would expect from a fellow Snake but I guess the new show might give more insight on that once I actually watch it.

Badgers

Okay, I like writing Badgers. [Leans back on chaise lounge] this probably has something to do with my mother.

Really though. I model Badger because my mother, although I love her and I’m really lucky to have her, is a teeny tiny bit horrified by Snake tendencies and drilled into me the morality that it is okay and it is above all Good to care about other people (for other Snakes, read Yes Even Strangers). To be fair, the prioritizing that Snakes do (which can get as focused as ”My people first, even if someone else far away is in trouble and I am acutely aware of it”) can seem pretty horrific to a Badger. They don’t necessarily get how you could believe everyone is a person and just... not care. And it’s hard to convince a Badger (for whom not acting can = they are not worth it) that you know exactly what you’re doing but are also aware that if you try to help everyone your head will explode because you can’t keep that many People up there. It’s why Snakes have their rings of caring.

But the result is that for me, Badgers are usually the ones left standing at the end of the story. If they’re done dirty, I like to try and fix it.

I don’t like how media treats Badger primaries generally though? There’s often something “goofy” or the Badger is treated as soft in a really unpalatable way. I mean, and to be fair this directly comes from the way a Snake can sort of be flummoxed with the way Badgers just do things for strangers, yes Badgers irl may be considered gentle. On an individual level, they are often the hearts and hearths of groups and homes. But there’s this weird place where The State is supposed to be a Badger-shaped institution, so that uneasy balance comes out in weird ways.

I don’t remember who said it, but the difference with Badgers and Snakes is that, with a Snake, you start out at Zero. You’re human, but you’re not the Snake’s human, so I will treat you like a human, but there are My People above you. And with a Badger, you sort of start out at like 85-100%? At least this is my perception. Badgers need-base and that off-balances Snakes.

A Snake with a Badger in my opinion needs to be “eyes open” in a different way than even a Snake with a Bird does, because the Snake needs to understand that the Badger is going to look and act similar - until they don’t, and then the Snake needs to be able to put aside the part of them that was attracted to the mirrored morality and actually work with the Badger to figure out what the Snake needs and how the Snake can in turn support the Badger.

Anyways though, I’m writing a thing where a Badger Bird-modeling-Badger is the last woman standing, committed to fixing a broken type of organization that her Snake, Bird, and Lion companions are Tired of. Lady Badger is nothing if not resilient. I’m writing another thing where a really really Burnt Badger man gets a safe place to learn to be part of a community that is meant to be mutually protective again (he dies because this is a fan work and that’s what happened in cannon, and this is arguably because he’s still unburning at that stage and doesn’t Have a proper community, but I hope to show him having at least Some happy times because in the sh**show show he didn’t have any at all). I’ve got a slightly less developed thing where a number of Badger performing princes learn to work together to fix their kingdom and unbury the history that created it.

Aaand It’s nearing midnight, I have clearly lost the thread of the thread or whatever

Goodniiight to all my houses. Love you all even if I didn’t write about you here.

-Ornamental

#ornamental answers #ask answered #snake primary #bird secondary #House interactions #lion primary #Bird Primary #badger primary #wip sorts #late night posts #sortinghatchats

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amachaheadcanons · 3 years

Note

CAN YOU GIVE FLUFFY HEADCANONS FOR AMACHA ON DATES??

YOU BET YOUR FINE BOOTY I CAN ANON

(⊙ω⊙✿) Me likes the way you think!!

Fluffy Headcanon Set of Amacha on Dates

You might wanna be sitting for this...there's a lot...

They study hard for an hour and a half before a well-deserved break, in which Rantaro starts cooking up a storm. Tenko insists on helping since he refused to take her money. "Tenko's sure you just want her to pay a high price! Tch, typical--"

Their first date is accidental. She came over to study/work on a school project/get tutored. Considering one of his father's Japan-based houses is close to a train station, the two decide to go there; it was quieter than the dorms.

It's a quaint traditional home for 1, on the larger side in comparison to typical Japanese apartments. Being a quiet, hideyhole for FatherAmami, it was vacant of maids/butlers. Of course, Rantaro cooks dinner for them.

'So that's why Rantaro took so long "getting study snacks" at the supermarket' Tenko realised. This unexpected thoughtful side of his making her soften inside.

"No need, Chabashira-san. Your thanks will be enjoying the meal I slaved away making just for you~." He teases. Despite attempting to refute and ensure he was aware she didn't mind chipping in some money, he refused with no end. Including the train fare and his precious tutoring time. He didn't want anything from her. Though that didn't stop her from asserting he was hiding ulterior motives, nor internally denying the fact she savoured every denial he made whenever she joked about him trying to get in her panties. She appreciated the constant dismissal, while silly, it reassured her; comforted her.

She starts chopping up veggies both spitefully and with pride. The food smells delicious, he can see it on her face despite her verbal denial. They get caught up in cooking and conversation, studying further never gracing their minds. They were too busy enjoying the other's company. He pleasantly surprised her, thus why she continued to launch questions at him.

She speedily sets the table before he can. A little too excited to eat his food.

Because the house is so old, the lights go out. The fuse box is a pain to figure out on an empty stomach, thus why Rantaro breaks out the fancy candles and they eat by candlelight. It's very romantic, Tenko starts to blush as it reminds her of romance manga. Now thankful for the light shortage since he couldn't grasp the extent of her embarrassment.

They talk for hours. By 9pm they're too tired to even attempt studying, and instead finish the night with a Disney movie and tea and biscuits on the pull-out sofa bed. "How luxurious!!"

Tenko's excitement never looked more beautiful/endearing.

Rantarou's dozes off first, his light snoring made her giggle. He was so dainty. She gently lays the blankets he previously prepared over his sleeping form.

Sitting a comfortable distance to finish the movie. A lullaby plays on screen and Tenko is easy prey. She ends up sinking into the bed beside him, the cool autumn air didn't help her sleep-cuddling tendencies, thus making her spoon him for warmth. His sleeping form happily complies and fits in the mould she made.

Both being early risers, Rantarou's embarrassed to be in the situation, but smiles anyway, patting her hair, she instantly stirs, he pretends to be asleep.

When Tenko rubs the sleep from her eyes, she stares at him, their positions exposing she was, in fact, the instigator of such affection. She slowly slides out, utterly embarrassed and completely confused. She gets to work in the kitchen, {even wearing his apron} to surprise him with breakfast in bed. "As thanks" for dinner the night before... He is happily surprised, both at her way of showing gratitude and the feelings making his chest tight at the image of her wearing such domestic accents.

^ Those dinner/study/movie endeavours continue for almost 3 months before he has the guts to invite her to Disneyland, confident she'd love it. She asserts the idea and is all-in after Rantarou confesses the last time he went was with his sisters...he sounded so gloomy whilst reminiscing and she insists they go to restore the happiness it's supposed to invoke!! It'd be a crime otherwise.

He goes all out. He buys them front of the line, year-long passes. They're worth it. This one's the official first date. At least in his head, he tells her it isn't but he wants it to be, and it definitely looks like one.

Tenko is no longer scared or feels threatened around him, not in the slightest. Strangely though, anger stirs inside her chest and makes her lips thin whenever girls fawn/compliment him so boldly.

He waits patiently for Tenko when she's using the bathroom. On her way out, her appreciation is emphasised by a wide grin as he watched her with excited eyes. A stranger crosses their path. Tenko increases her speed, "He better not ditch Tenko for this beautiful and pure ginger fox-- oh how embarrassing that would be!! Not to mention low!"

A girl from school attempts to confess to him, in the happiest, most magical place of all. She's a year younger than them. So pure, kind and sweet. He doesn't have the heart to outright reject her, thus stumbling over his words awkwardly, Tenko can sense he's trying to be gentle.

Tenko smoothly approaches and wraps an arm around his, making him freeze his faltering, "Kasumi-chan. Tenko heard your beautiful speech. You're so brave and sweet and beautiful. Any boy would be lucky to have you, but unfortunately... Rantarou-kun is spoken for." She wants to break it to her as gently as possible, and pretends their dating, as a softer blow. After giving Kasumi the necessary confidence/reassurance, Tenko watches the girl trot back to her friends. A content smile marking her face.

She follows, willingly, paying no mind to the contact whatsoever, excluding the butterflies in her stomach.

With his free hand he pats her head, "Very smooth, Chabashira-san, I'm impressed. I would never have thought you'd-"

"Oh, shoosh avocado!" Avoiding eye contact and hiding her blush. Since their arms were still tangled, Rantaro interlocked their fingers and drags her along, "C'mon, Tiga~"

He showers her in mostly food but of course gifts her something cute she had her eye on.

They have a blast. Afterward, Tenko found herself often speculating when they could go again. Due to his big spending habits she tends to repay her gratitude in free Neo-Aikido training and the rare times she'd make sweets for Himiko, she'd give him a decent portion.

Because Rantaro is so loving and crushing hard but doesn't know how to love her, he often shouts her lunch or packs an extra bento for her. This surprises Tenko.

He's so thoughtful and wonderful she has her suspicions. But still blushes whenever he brings her lunch in public with her friends around.

To combat this, she insists on helping him with his studies and is a great confidence booster whenever she can sense her sparring partner is doubting/self-loathing. Due to their regular training, continuous study sessions, bonding over food and movie nights. They become really good friends.

One day, Tenko can't shake the rejection from Himiko, especially when Himiko happily hugs and is very clingy with Angie and the others. The stinging morphs into a deep cut. Rantaro finds Tenko pushing herself. He's at first impressed. Then majorly concerned after realising she'd been at it for 4 hours straight.

He confronts her, she breaks down in tears. It breaks his heart to see such a loving, devoted girl be treated like this. He knows Tenko would sacrifice everything to see Himiko smile, so instead of taking it up with Himiko...

"You know...we've been making great progress with our school work. This weekend, why don't we go to a theme park, as a reward?"

This marks the third/forth official date since they'd revisited disneyland a few times prior. He takes her on all the rollercoasters, they bond over the adrenaline rush, it's a good distraction. She's like no one he's ever met before, and only falls harder.

Plus, the slow love-story these two would have to build that loyalty, blind-trust and love that's indestructible is a big reason why I love amacha~! Hope it was ok! If not just lemme know and I'll do more future-date things, like further in their relationship haha!

Sorry got a lil' off-topic...BUT it's VERY vital Tenko gets over her dependence on Himiko before anything can really flourish between these two, BUT I love the idea of Rantaro happily pining after Tenko and making sure she's ok, cuz no one else would.

#tenko chabashira #rantaro amami #ndrv3 #amacha #headcanons #fanfic style #tenko x rantaro #rantaro x tenko #amami rantaro #chabashira tenko #amachaheadcanons #bisexual tenko

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royalprinceroman · 3 years

Note

"In awe, the first time you realised it" with rivya pretty pretty pleaasee

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXI!!! this ask is old af but I was inspired so I wrote you this rivya drabble fic thinggggg idk i hope you enjoy it!!

(These characters are our own ocs based on the Sanders Sides from this blog. This is an irl AU so enjoy!! Some Sides might show up idk why don't you read and find out hehe)

On mobile so sorry for no read more :(

---

River felt himself waking up; the stream of his consciousness pulling his thoughts to the real world around him. He slowly opened his eyes to see the glow of the early morning sun peeking through the edge of the curtain he swore he had tucked behind the bookshelf so it wouldn't get him right in the face, but alas, it had failed. River sighed, pulling their comforter over their head in denial.

Mondays sucked and River did not want to pull themselves out of bed, but within seconds of stretching their arms above their head, a shrill alarm from their phone began to sound on the side table next to their bed. River slapped around until successfully snoozing the alarm before throwing the blanket off.

There was one reason and one reason only River was getting up for class on this day. He had that one class today - economics. And that one boy was in it. The transfer student.

He had the gall to talk to River the day before, and several days before that. As well as the day the teacher had given him the seat next to River.

"Hello." The boy had said as he sat down. His hood covered most of his face but River could see his right eye and a soft smile on his face. "My name is Arya. It's nice to meet you."

River had glanced his way, their chin balanced on their palm. With the intent to simply brush him off, River had opened his mouth only to feel his words caught in his throat once he had made eye contact with the gentle boy.

"I'm River." River had managed to cough out that day. "Pleasure."

It was a dry introduction, but it didn't seem to offend Arya at all. He had smiled again and turned to his bag in front of him, pulling his notebook and pen out as River heard the teacher begin to speak.

River had been brought back to his dorm room by a jolt of him missing his pant leg while trying to get dressed. Arya had left him feeling weird that first day and every day after that, Arya had continued to say hello and be super kind to him. River didn't really understand why Arya was acting that way-- if Arya knew River at all, he would know that River didn't deserve that kind of kindness.

River zipped his jacket up and heard his cell phone begin to chime again, but this time it was a text tone. He absent-mindedly reached for the phone, unlocking it in one motion.

He bit his lip as he saw a message from his brother- his twin, Meph. Meph had chosen not to go to college but to work at a friend's laboratory. River sometimes regretted going to college but since he was there on a scholarship, it only made sense to stay. Besides, Meph had only chosen not to go to college to help River actually go for his dream: to be a marine biologist.

River loved the ocean. It was his favorite place to be and if he managed to put his past behind him and become a marine biologist, he'd never have to leave the ocean again. Meph had gotten the job with his friend to pay the bills so River could focus on school.

Meph the Grump: Hey so Nic needs me to stay late again this weekend so I won't be able to come up to visit. Maybe we can work something out for next weekend. Just let me know.

River sighed and locked his phone, shoving it into his pocket. That makes the 3rd time Meph canceled on him in the last month. River didn't really know what Nicolaus did for a living but Meph was apparently very important to the lab. It paid for the roof over his head so River ignored the pain of disappointment running through his chest.

He grabbed his bag before stopping by the mirror near the front door. Messing with his hair for only a few moments, he sighed and left the house, locking the front door behind him. His college was a mere three blocks away so walking was the simplest way of getting there.

River began the trek down the semi busy street, staring at the ground as he walked. From the corners of their sight, River watched the world go around him: People walked solo past; some girls in groups crossing the street laughing together; a single mom holding her baby while opening the door to a store.

The world kept going despite of all the troubles people had. River knew this and yet he always wondered what he looked like from that perspective. Was he intimidating? Were they interesting to the world around them or forgettable?

River adjusted his back on his shoulder as he stopped at a crosswalk. Several people lingered around him as they all waited for the traffic light to change. As he considered his plans for the weekend now that Meph wasn't coming into town anymore, he realized he was staring across the road at a familiar face.

It was Arya. However, Arya was standing against a brick building with another few men around him. River scrunched his face in curiosity and confusion. He had never seen Arya outside of class and he walked this street everyday. Wouldn't they have crossed paths before?

River heard the chime of the crosswalk allowing pedestrians to pass as suddenly one of the men grabbed Arya by the shoulder rather roughly. Arya stumbled into one of the other taller men who shoved him back towards the building. River felt his blood boil nearly instantly as he took off across the street. He was still fairly far away but he picked up the pace as the three men pulled Arya down an alleyway behind the brick building.

"I promise I'll have it to you soon. I will. I will." Arya's voice filtered through the air as River got closer. It was staggered and breathless; shaky and soft. He was clearly scared. "I know I said today, but my job hasn't paid me yet so--"

CRACK.

River dashed around the corner, hearing a bone crushing noise as they did so. It took River's eyes a few seconds while blinking to adjust to the darkness of the alley only to see Arya on the ground, unmoving.

"You bastards! What did you do to him?" River shouted as he stomped forward, leaving barely any space between himself and the strangers. His heart was racing-- Arya still hadn't moved. "Arya! Hey!" River shouted as the men laughed.

"Arya has a friend? Haha, that's the funniest thing I've heard all day," said the tallest man, turning to face River. "You should scram, kid, if you know what's good for you."

"Kid? I'm not a child, and I'm not scared of you." River said confidently, even though his hand was trembling. He was convinced it was his anger peaking. "Get away from him." River snarled through bared teeth.

The leader looked at his two friends and all three of them laughed.

"Kid, I don't think you understand the situation you're in." the Leader scoffed before suddenly darting towards River with his fist reared back.

In one step, River bent down, dodging him swiftly and flattening his right hand, shoving it perfectly timed onto the man's elbow forcing it the wrong direction. River heard the satisfying snap of the bone.

"Sonofabitch!" The leader shouted, falling to the ground, grasping towards his left arm. His partners ran to his side as he struggled to stand. "I won't forget this!" He growled as the three of them took off out of the alley.

River relaxed his stance, releasing a deep breath before spinning on his heel and dashing back to where Arya lay still unmoving. River fell to his knees, picking Arya up gently.

"Hey... hey Arya." They whispered, shaking the boy. Within a minute, Arya's eyes opened and he immediately pushed away from River, the innate fear of the other men still fresh. "No, Arya, it's okay-- it's me." River held his hands up.

Arya's breathing slowed as he realized the other three men were gone. His hand snapped to his head, his left eye closing in pain. Silence fell between the two of them. River wasn't sure what to say, and Arya... he looked like he might pass out at any moment.

"What are you doing here?" Arya broke the silence. His voice was scratchy but still the soft, kind tone River was used to hearing in class. "This doesn't concern you."

River scoffed, "The hell it doesn't! Who were those men? What did they want from you?" Arya stayed silent, choosing to look anywhere but River's face. "Fine then, I guess it doesn't matter..." he stood up to leave.

"Wait!" Arya jumped to his feet.

River turned to see Arya reaching out towards him only for the boy to be overcome by his injuries. His eyes rolled back and he fell towards the ground. River was quick enough to catch him before he made contact with the pavement. The momentum of the fall had caused Arya's hood to reveal his full face. River blinked in surprise-- the right side of Arya's face was covered with a severe burn scar. How had they never noticed it before?

Out of respect, River pulled Arya's hood back over his head and held the boy close.

"Excuse me."

A voice from behind them both caused River to whip around, holding on to Arya even tighter.

A man stood there, holding his bowler hat in front of his face. His cape like top blew in the wind of the alley and his yellow gloved hands nearly look illuminescent in the alley.

"Who are you?" River demanded.

"I am that boy's guardian, and I would appreciate you giving him to me." The man said as he put his hat on his head. It revealed his face to be similar to Arya except the left side of his was... a snake, wait what?

River stood, holding Arya in his arms. "Why should I believe you? Maybe I should take him and run away?"

"No, that's not necessary. You see... that boy is not human, my dear." The man began to walk closer. "Well, not anymore." He stopped walking. "Ah, how rude of me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Janus."

"Okay... Janus what do you want with Arya?" River questioned, backing up a step.

"Oh no. You misunderstand. Arya came to me, you see. Alone and with nothing to lose, he made a deal. A deal with a snake." Janus explained, the snake side of his face never losing the grin it held. "Losing your entire family in a fire you caused and leaving yourself scarred for life is a rough thing to go through. He wanted to forget-- however it comes with a price."

"Yeah well... he needs medical treatment from whatever those assholes did to him so I'm taking him to the hospital. He's not going with you." River said firmly. "So I'll be leaving now."

River adjusted Arya in his arms before brushing past Janus toward the main street. River never once looked back and kept walking, avoiding the busier streets with nosey people. A regular hospital would ask too many questions. It was time to pay an old friend a visit.

After a ten minute walk, River arrived at what looked like a simple flower shop. He walked inside. A boy stood behind the main counter and turned to face them.

"Oh River! It's been awhile." He said. "Oh... is your friend hurt?"

"Yeah... can you help him Gabriel?" River asked as Gabriel held a back door open for them to walk through.

"Of course. Let's get him checked out." Gabriel assured.

River placed Arya on a rather large bed and sat down across from him and Gabriel in a plastic chair. River could feel the tension leaving his body finally and the realization of everything that happened was making his mind race as he watched Gabriel check Arya's vitals. Who were those three original men? Who was Janus? Was Janus telling the truth when he said Arya wasn't human anymore? What did that even mean? Nothing about this morning made any sense.

"River?" Gabriel's voice called them out of their stupor and River could see Arya was covered by a blanket now and his hoodie has been removed. "Are you okay? Do you need me to check you too?" Gabriel reached and felt River's head before they could lean away.

"No I'm fine." River assured.

Before Gabriel could ask again, a chime went off above their heads: a customer had walked into the flower shop. Gabriel excused himself and left the room. The room became silent other than the ticking of the clock on the far wall.

River stood up and walked to look at Arya. He looked peacefully asleep and more relaxed than before. Gabriel must've given him some medication. River pushed Arya's bangs out of his face and Arya stirred a bit, as if he was going to wake up.

"River.... wait.. please..." Arya murmured, his eyes still closed but tightened in fear. A dream. "I can explain... don't go... I need you."

River grabbed Arya's hand, intertwining their fingers. Arya seemed to relax and stopped talking. River was an idiot-- why hadn't he noticed it before? All of those feelings towards Arya... it was love. A need to protect.

"Don't worry, Arya..." River sat down on the side of the bed, brushing their fingers down the side of Arya's face. "I'm not going anywhere."

FIN.

#sanders sides #ocs #my ocs #arya sanders #river sanders #though technically they arent sanders here but idc #janus sanders #rivya #happy birthday maxi 2021 #sorry this wasnt longer ;^; work sucks

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smalltowndetective · 4 years

Note

31 for A x detective please 🧡

Hi! Thank you for the request!

31- “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you”

So, this one does need a little explaining. As much as I love this prompt, my main A detective is just as much as an emotionally repressed dumbass as they are (but she is starting to get slightly better haha) and the other detective that I have been writing A with is way too sweet, and one, would never deal with her feelings this way, and two, would never say anything to intently hurt them. So, of course, I borrowed a detective from @lividlyinlove, who fits this prompt much better.

This is my longest request yet, and I hope you like it! And thank you Liv for letting me use your detective! You’re amazing!

Ao3 Link

Title: Give me Something

Pairing: Adam and Kira (lividlyinlove’s detective)

Words: 3k

Summary: Kira has tried to move on from whatever her and Adam are supposed to be, just to come to the realization- she can’t.

Tags: @lilyoffandoms

She had never met someone who infuriated her so much.

But she also had never met someone who drew her in like he did.

Kira had long given up ever figuring Adam out. She had grown tired of the constant back and forth that he took her on, and she wanted to move on from whatever it was. The fleeting attraction that she had, act like it had never happened. Like she knew he would do.

And goddammit she had tried. Finally accept that he was never going to thaw his icy shell that had formed over the past 900 years, and she was not going to be one to do so for him, even if she wanted to. Only he could so, and he seemed hardly interested in that, preferring to continue to hide whatever was stirring inside of him for the rest of his immortal life.

Does that drive you crazy Adam? Having to try and figure out what the hell this is for eternity?

I know it would if it were me

She had gone on a few dates, a desperate attempt to move on, keeping them a secret from the rest of the team, and while she had internally rationalized that she was doing so in order to keep Felix or even Nate from asking her questions about them, but it was really about Adam. Kira wondered just how he would react if he knew, and while part of her wanted him to feel the confliction from all and maybe just actually say something, but she was not going to push it. At least not yet.

It’s just some fun, a nice night out. There is nothing serious about them.

But she was starting to fear that there never would be. Nothing about them made her want to go back on another, as if it was missing something, but what that was, she had no idea.

All of them have been nice, and most of them are much more open then Adam is, not like that is particularly hard to be.

What possibly more could you want?

This is all came into a head after one particular date with a guy from the big city who was staying in Wayhaven for a couple of days.

She ran into him on her walk to work, and he was nice. He seemed genuinely happy to talk to her, an easy smile never leaving his face, and was not trying to push her away the whole time, doing anything to avoid even seeing her.

Like a certain someone I know.

But one thing that drew him to her immediately were his eyes.

They were a gorgeous green, but unlike Adam’s cold icy eyes, they were dark, as the color of the darkest evergreen forest, the kind that was still just as vibrant even under snow in the bitterest of winters. They were almost soothing to look into, never becoming fraught with hardness, just openness. Kindness. All the things she was not used to.

He asked her out on a date, laughing as he did so, and told her it was on a complete whim that he did so, but she graciously accepted, already finding him intriguing, so different then what she was used to, almost a night and day difference.

They went out together the next night, and everything about it was magical. As if was a scene in a movie, sweet and easy, smiles shared between them that she hoped would never die, drinking in all of the things that he told about himself, but she noticed there was some hesitance when talking about herself, but she was not sure why.

He’s fine talking about himself, why aren’t you?

It hit her like a slap across her face when she realized that she never had this trouble with Adam, stubborn and annoying as he could be, even with her own fears of vulnerability. He drew things from her anyway, and she could never understand why. It was not like he seemed to care anyway, nor would he ever.

You are not going to think about him tonight.

It’s not about him.

Though she knew that he noticed her suddenly get quieter, he did not say anything about it, but she did the slightest tinge of confusion in his eyes, and Kira focused on keeping a smile on her face to drown it all out. Tonight, was not to mope about a guy who pushed her away whenever they got close. She was going to enjoy herself, make the most of tonight, with a new guy where maybe there could be something more, even if it was too early to tell just yet.

The date ended with him dropping her off at her apartment, the sun having long set in the horizon, and she noticed that from the bright lights outside the door, his eyes looked paler than they did earlier, and it only reminded her of the person that she was trying so desperately to forget.

She almost pushed him away at the sight, being confronted with the sudden rush of guilt, though she was not sure why.

You’re not his girlfriend, it’s not like you’re cheating on him.

Then why does it feel like I am?

But she put that out of her mind, and as the pair continued to gaze at each other, as if they were the only two people in the world, she felt herself move forward, and their lips met in a kiss.

It was not a long kiss, but there was sweet feeling there all the same, but then she could see Adam’s green eyes in her mind, and just for a second, she allowed herself to imagine if it had been him, and felt her pulse race at the thought, and she pulled him closer to her, forgetting all about who it actually was and allowing herself to imagine.

And for a few precious seconds, it almost seemed true, her wildest dreams that she had longed pushed away.

But that illusion could not last forever.

When Kira opened her eyes back up, and as she stared into her date’s eyes, his eyes still as gentle and open as they had been all night, horror started to fill her, and she could feel her stomach drop in dread.

What are you doing?

This isn’t fair to him.

It’s not his fault he’s not the one you want him to be

She pulled back from his touch immediately, freaking herself out over everything that was happening, his hands starting to shake.

“Kira, are you alright?”, she heard him say, worry filling his features, “Did I- “

“No”, she stated firmly, “You did nothing wrong. This is all my doing”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but she cut him off, “I’m sorry”

She entered her apartment after that, guilt filling her stomach, and as soon as she closed the door behind her, she sank to the ground, burying her face in her hands, trying hard not to let the frustrated tears spill down her cheeks.

Why can’t he leave my head?

I want to move on, finally accept that he’s never going to admit anything for the rest of his immortal life.

But I can’t.

She was tired of all of this, this confusing mess of feelings. Kira wanted it all to end, stop pining after someone who would never give in to what she knew they both wanted deep down. For everything that he did that had just hurt the both in the end, even if he would never admit that.

Damn it, she had even kissed Bobby. Her absolute scumbag of an ex, because she had been hurt. She knew that she should have not have, but when he leaned in closer to kiss her, she kissed him back, needing anything to get off her mind off eavesdropping on Adam and Nate’s conversation after the carnival. Him admitting that he felt nothing, when her own mind was such a mine field on confused emotions affected her more then she expected it to.

“But you do have those feelings?”

"No, I do not."

Kira had been trying to avoid crying the whole ride home back to her apartment, and when she finally got home, she was far too drained and hurt to even refuse Bobby’s offer to come in, even if about every rational part of her told herself it was a horrible idea for a countless number of reasons.

It was a definite moment of weakness from her, and one that she knew that he would shove back in her face more likely sooner then later, and as much as she regretted, she was not sure if that she could go back, she would be able to do anything different then what she had done.

Maybe that spoke to her own maturity, but she could hardly care.

How else was I supposed to react?

She could not just keep finding other people to put her heartbreak on, trying to make them into someone they were not, since molding someone into you want them to be, breaking apart what made them special in the first place was the last thing she wanted to do.

How long is this going on?

Will months, even years, past, and I’ll still feel like this?

A painful thought entered her brain, of her meeting someone, it all seeming to be working out, but sometimes, there would be times when all she would see was someone that she was trying so hard to get over.

They say moving on is the hardest part.

But will I ever actually ever be able to?

Or will I be stuck in this never-ending limbo forever?

There was no way she was going to have another night like this again, as tempting as it might be. It was not fair to the other person, to have someone who was pinning for someone else, and no matter who it was, they deserved better then that. Her date tonight deserved better than that.

Should I apologize?

Should I explain the situation?

What would I even say?

Kira resigned herself to the fact that there was nothing that she could say that would even make sense at all to anyone except herself, and she knew that it was best to part ways before anything became too out of hand.

I suppose for him, it’s lucky that it happened tonight

It’s a lot less of dragging him along with my own hurt feelings, while I try to desperately find some semblance of a person that he is not.

Shaking the night out of her brain, she got up from off the guard, and she walked through her apartment to go ahead and head to bed, even though she knew she was going to be awake for hours, staring at the ceiling, hoping this would all go away.

She heard the soft padding of footsteps and the light clicks of a collar, and she barely made out her miniature schnauzer Wolfgang in the dark, his already black coat besides the small white patch on his chest making him almost invisible in the dark. He normally would have been asleep at this time of night, so she was surprised to see him still awake.

“Hey bud”, she said as he padded the side of her bed as I plea to get up, and she reached over to pick him up and set her on top of the bed with her, “Everything’s kind of a mess right now, isn’t it?”

Kira ran her hands down his thick coat, scratching behind his ears as he settled into a crook in her bed, the motion soothing her brain slightly, “At least you’re still here. You don’t make things complicated”

She could swear she almost saw him a slight of a nod of his head on the dark, and she chuckled at the sight of it, and she settled back down on her bed, and even though sleep never called her, her mind still too overactive to even try and figure out anything, it was calming none the less, even if she still had no idea at what to do.

I feel like if I do fall asleep, I’ll dream, and I don’t think I want to.

Before she knew it, she could hear her alarm go off on her phone, and she had not gotten a wink of sleep the whole time. She was tired, her eyelids feeling heavy but she would still not allow herself to sleep, and knowing that she would have to start her day regardless, she dragged herself out of bed, realizing she needed to go by the warehouse this morning.

But there was a pit of dread in her stomach as she realized she was going to have to see Adam today.

Why are you so worried about this?

It’s not like he’s not avoiding you right now anyway.

Sighing, she got up to get ready for today, trying hard to ignore the dark circles that had formed around her eyes.

I look like an absolute wreck.

Congrats, me.

She pulled her clothes on, filling Wolfgang’s dog bowl before leaving, making sure he had everything he needed before she had to leave. She normally would eat breakfast, but she was still not feeling normal after last night, so she ended up leaving anyway.

This is all such a mess.

It did not take her long to make her way to the warehouse, and the first thing that Kira noticed was that Adam was standing outside, staring at the horizon as she drove up the warehouse.

What is he doing out here?

I know well enough he’s not waiting for me

“Detective Eveli”, he remarked as she walked up to him.

She fought hard to suppress the growl in her throat. It was not fair how at the second they were seeming to be getting closer, he would just push her away again, and this forced formality he had insisted on using was starting to grate on her, almost making her skin crawl.

It was strange to her why she was getting so upset now, but after last night, she was a shell of repressed emotions, and they were threatening to overspill on any person that dared talk to her today.

Shame (or perhaps not) that had to be the person that all of this was about in the first place.

“It’s Kira, Adam”, she spat out, her blue eyes holding his eyes in a glare, “You might as well have the decently to use it”

“I find that rather unnecessary”, he replied, the faint echoes of a scowl filling his face.

“After everything that has happened, I think it’s quite necessary actually”, she said back, “It’s the least you could do”

“I fail to see what you mean”, he almost whispered, almost hesitant, turning his head to face away from her, and she could not tell if he was truly ignorant or was feigning it.

“You’re still going to act like this?”, she demanded, “Like nothing was going on between us?”

She was not sure why she asked such a question, or what had even compelled her to ask it, but she hardly cared at the moment. After everything that was going through her brain, he had to at least share all of this in her head. She refused to think she was the only one struggling with this.

“There was nothing”, he growled, but the sudden hesitance in his eyes that he worked hard to bury said otherwise.

“I can’t believe you, you know that”, she huffed out, crossing her arms almost subconsciously, “We hold hands once and then you act like you can’t be around me anymore”

Frustration just rose in her voice as he refused to answer, instead noticing that he swallowed hard, “I don’t understand any of this more then you do, you know that? I should have done what you told me to do and save Sanja, but goddammit, Adam, I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave you when you needed me”

Kira felt the sting of tears at the edge of her eyes, and she fought hard to keep them from streaming down her face, as much as they begged her to, “I’m sick of all of this. I can’t take it anymore. You can’t keep drawing me in and then pushing me back out. It’s not fair”

She took a shuddering breath, and she finally dared herself to look back at Adam, who was unsurprisingly, looking away from her, his shoulders tighter than she had ever seen them before. He looked more like a statue then he normally did.

“I’ve tried to move on, you know”, she whispered, and his head snapped back to look at her, and the sudden intense gaze almost made her forget what she wanted to say, “Finally accept you’re never going to let your walls down. But it keeps me coming back to the ugly truth, a truth that I’ve been hiding from myself for so long”

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you”

“Kira…”, Adam breathlessly whispered, and she could feel her hands clench, and she looked back into his eyes, narrowing her own.

“You’re going to use my name now, huh?”, she scoffed, “Or are you just coming to go back after this? Speak now, or forever hold your peace”

When he did not deign to reply, she could feel her shoulders slump, but she tried to hide it, “Of course. See you later I guess”

She then walked to the door of the warehouse, the tears in her eyes starting to break through as she turned away from Adam and walked inside, wondering what can compelled her to say what she did in the first place.

But it doesn’t matter now, and it never mattered

Nothing is ever going to change.

No matter what you say, no matter how much you beg.

Nothing is ever going to change.

#the wayhaven chronicles #wayhaven chronicles #twc #kira eveli #lividlyinlove #request #adam du mortain #adam du mortain x detective

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mx-in-words · 4 years

Text

Monsta x being jealous reaction

I really loved your writing for the Monsta x reaction to you being jealous, could you do it the other way, please?!

↬ Shownu

starting with our favourite leader

shownu is the type of guy who gets jealous but only tells you IF IF IF IF IF you notice

THE MEN HAS NO FACIAL EXPRESSION!!!

i MEAN he has but only on stage opsss

anyway he never gets jealous about just guys hitting on you

he gets jealous of your attention

so here you were, at changkyun’s birthday and you were helping kihyun and kyunnie in the kitchen

that's was fine

but you were laughing at the boys

and being gorgeous ( why are you being like this? CAN YOU TRY TO BE UGLY ???? shownu calm down boy)

so he kinda gets angry and wants your attention

BUT HE does nOT tell YOU!!!

SO you just keep going like nothing happened

until you ask him to help you

and he just looks at you like grrr

you: ?? honey?

then everything just clicks in your mind

he is: J E A L O U S

YOU HUG HIM

give him attention and he will be fine

sn: >:(

you : * smooches love and kisses*

sn: :3

yeah that’s it he is fine now.

the second they are less jealous they are just... baby boys, right?

↬ Wonho

BABY I MISS YOU SO MUCH

mbb keep fighting for your love he deserves everything

Anyway

We know he is needy and he is VERY jealous of mbb, imagine in a relationship

He trusts you thought... He just doesn't trust men. ( Who do I mean tf)

YOU are his precious treasure

nobody can touch you without your permission

so when both of you were in one of those jooheons party’s and a strange guy started to be touching and flirty with you, he was already all over the guy

the thing is, he is waiting for your “permission”

you stopped him

you: I already told you, I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND YOU IDIOT

you pushed the guy and held wonho’s hands

you: men are annoying

wh: that’s right, men suck, sorry for being one

you: I mean if all of them were like you...

wh: would it be better? yes but... you could replace me for someone better

you: Wonho, that’s not such a thing. I will never in my life find someone better and more perfect for me, you're the only one, my love.

wh: good, because I am all ours.

will kiss u in front of that asshole just because he can ;)

and bc he wants

I mean, he is very touchy with you in public to not get in these types of situation

his bigger fear is that your strong personality put you in a big fight and you get hit or worse you know?

he hates the fact that guys only respect you bc of him and not for the fact that you are a person

and he lives to hate men with you

and keeps telling that, harassment its NOT your fault and will never be.

yes mbb, we stan the right men <3

↬ Minhyuk

wjneiwnejeej a little mothafuckr

Follow me on this one

He is a free young spirit who is not controlling or do not wants you to feel trapped at all

bUT

You are H I S girl

Not just like a gf

You are his partner/best friend/ lover

So no!!! he is not sharing the moments you both are supposed to do with someone else

He doesn't care if guys eat you with the eyes ( unless you care, and you do, so rip to them)

So watching a hero movie in the theatre with kihyun because is the movie premiere and he is working as an MC that night? It's a no-no to him

And as every demon Scorpio, you should know revenge is coming

He is basically not hanging with you

At all

You both live together and he is like " oh hey StRanGeR"

So you just apologise bc you miss him

And he misses you too so he MIGHT feel guilty and apologise too

mh: " I hate eating alone and sorry I did use your favourite serum last night just bc I was mad but I will buy another one you know youareeverythingtome just just... Don't hang out with kihyun alone doing stuff that me ME YOUR BOYFRIEND Lee minhyuk should do!!!!! Iloveyousorrysorry"

You can only laugh and kiss him

And ofc you sure him that hanging with kihyun is like taking your old aunt out bc she needs her vitamin c.

He is never letting kihyun live after this

You both good.

:) he is too soft to make you in pain

↬ Kihyun

I honestly hate kihyun sassy ass

but I love him :(

he is A JEALOUS BITCH

a lil bit controlling... just keep him at his place and it will be fine

he gets more jealous of your friends and coworkers

because in his head, if you already like/love them, they can steal you

what a smart hamster

but dumb bc you wouldn't replace him

and even with a superego, like everyone, kihyun has his insecurities

so yes > afraid of losing you< its an issue here

one day you just keep telling about your friend wooyoung

and how happy you are for him and his lover

because he made like the cutest things for their one-year anniversary

and you just keep telling all the details, excited for your friend

kihyun gets jealous and mad because he thinks you’re saying that wooyoung is better, more romantic

kh: okay just date him already

you: ???? what?

kh: you only talk about how is he the most romantic guy right? i get it

you: no its not-

kh: I might not have a lot time for you bc of the band but I swear I try my very best for you, I mean if you are unhappy with me I understand but

you: kihyun shut up

he looks at you, damn he is mad

you sigh bc this hoe is mad for nothing

you: first of all wooyoung is gay and his lover is san

kh: ohh

you: yeah ohhh, plus I am very satisfied with you baby why would you say that? I love you bitch, I ain't never gonna stop loving you, bitch

kh: I love you too baby and stopping using old vines to tell you love me

you: no

you: I WANT A CHURCH BOY WHO GOES TO CHURCH AND READ HIS BIBLEEEE

kh: that’s it goodbye

kihyun has left the room

but smiling bc he loves you

↬ Hyungwon

GOD HE DOES NOT CARE AT ALL

maybe because we know hyungwon is a very straightforward person

and you two make sure to always make clear each other feeling and thoughts

so Won knows how much you love him

you love him and he loves you

what's more important than that?

so when the fandom and the media discover about you two

that was rumours about you cheating on him with your best male friend

and someone photoshopped a picture of you two kissing

hyungwon saw this and immediately made sure to speak to the press

hw: this picture is fake and y/n is only a friend of the male with her, she is loyal so don't try to break something that is unbreakable

you cried seeing that bc

your men>>>>>>>>>>>>

you: baby you didn't tell me about that

hw: I didn't want to worry you, it’s okay now

you: you really trust me huh?

hw: of course I do

he kissed you gently

hw: also, I am a 10 and your friend is a 7 in the max, seriously you must be crazy to even think about cheating on me

you: you're right, I could never

you hug him because he is so precious uwu

And damn he is right

He is a god

Could you tell me where can I find my own hyungwon?

↬ Jooheon

SO HAHA remember this lil shit?

with all that “ jealous is for ppl who don’t trust each other”?

haha BULLSHIT

once again joo trust you of course

but he gets annoyed

world please understand

YOU ARE HIS GIRL

PERIODT!!!!

so let's say that some pictures of you being hella sexy were out for the public

nothing promiscuous just

sexy you know?

so these pics were out ( was intentional bc you were promoting for a friend)

but everyone was talking about

so one rapper commented “ damn that’s hot”

and well

jooheon is not happy about this

he knows its only a campaign but DOES PPL NEED TO TALK THAT YOU ARE HOT?

jh: asshole hot is my fucking hand after slap your ugly face I swear I will cut everyone hand that commented those things about my girl

you: jooheon

jh: what???

you: well forget it, you're mad :(

he is sorry for being angry

jh: sorry baby, just tell me pretty baby ~

you: I was going to say... why don’t you do what they want so badly?

he still didn't understand

so you sit on his lap

kissing his neck, you whisper close to his ears

you: why don’t you show me what only you can do?

you: why don't you make me scream the name of the only person that can touch my body?

jh: oh baby, you can bet I will, gladly

he smirks and...

you know ;)

( I am not weak for angry!jooheon, you are)

↬ Changkyun

he is the most passionate guy

that’s why Kyun is so confusing in my eyes

he pretends he is cold, but he is soft

he pretends being dope, he is weird

he pretends to be a fuckboy but is romantic

he pretends he does not care, but he cares, waaay too much

maybe both of you are jealous

nobody has ever said about being exclusive at all

but it was an exclusive thing

both just didn't know ( clowns 🤡)

the game was going to be a draw

but kyun couldn't help himself when that guy was touching you way too much

taking way to much smiles and laughs of you

when he could look at you way to close

and dance way to sensual with you

no, he couldn't help himself of picking you and find an empty place to talk

ck: look I just... why are you with him?

you: kyun I mean, you were with that girl too and, wait, you're jealous?

kyun just keep looking at you like you discover his dark secret

you: good, I was with him to make jealous

ck: really?

you: yeah so just fucking kiss me

and he did

all night

making sure that from now, you're his

and he is yours

like is supposed to be

542 notes · View notes

laneofpennies · 4 years

Text

ok so i’m just gonna get all my thoughts about wkm and folklore out in this post so i can stop being incomprehensible

and yes, this has ego shipping. i couldn’t stop myself.

the 1

Damien and William. I’ll start off like that. I feel like this is a melancholy ballad about a couple who didn’t work out due to maybe distance or misunderstanding- or in this case, being gay in the 1920s- and looking back on their childhood and regretting never taking that step. Also, the addition of meeting someone else and taking them home makes me think of Celine. And the singer seems successful, much like a mayor of a small city.

cardigan

Actor!Mark is written absolutely all over this song, albeit before he was entirely corrupted. But the plot, about someone still being in love despite the other having cheated and being hurt so much time after? That’s Mark, babeyyy. We know his mental state was not great after the divorce- maybe even before that. Celine was his rock.

the last great american dynasty

This tips more into my own canon, I’ll admit. But I always thought Celine and Damien weren’t exactly from the same social class as Mark. So when the marriage between the two happened, people talked. But Celine was always a badass. Even if after the divorce she was persecuted by the media, she kept her head up. Also this song makes me cry and so does Celine so I feel like that’s enough of a connection.

exile (Ft. Bon Iver)

THE MOST Celine and Mark song, well, ever. Miscommunication. References to acting as a career. The longing to make things right. Two perspectives. The third guy, who in this case is William, swooping in. Mark not having seen any of the signs of her discomfort in the lifestyle she led, and Celine just feeling shut out. I also feel like Mark was often worried about her offending other famous actors and she felt suffocated whenever they went out together.

my tears ricochet

Actor. This one might seem like a stretch, but the Mark we know is not the same from before the divorce. He was hurting, and confused as to why this had all happened to them. We know the divorce was messy and ended an entire friend group, and Celine seemed to have taken it much better, leading to the current circumstance. The fear of being home all alone- in this case because of a literal demon.

mirrorball

Since this song is revolving around someone that blends in, changes, can show a million different faces, I think it’s perfect for the DA, aka the viewer. This character had to be written so that we could all see ourselves in them, whether that be for WKM, ADWM, or AHWM. Also the metaphor about broken glass...? That’s just too perfect.

seven

More of my slight headcanons!! William and Damien growing up as friends must have been very close to this song. There’s talk about haunted houses, best friends, secrets, keeping in the closet, strict parents... I feel like they would be really cute in this song. They’ve been friends for ages, and even now, though they both look a little different. Overall, this song about childhood innocence slowly eroding fits the colonel and the politician.

august

This song is the second in the story about love affairs, excluding Illicit Affairs. This one always struck me because of how soft and tender it was, despite this being from the view of the other woman. There is a hint of regret and sadness that they can’t be publicly together, but you can tell there was genuine love between them. I like to think that William did love Celine, and saw the darkness within that house and within Mark. The affair was where it crossed the line, and he knew they couldn’t go back.

this is me trying

This one I see as mostly just about Damien. He had been the glue in this friend group for so long, and was so eager to see them all back together, it only made sense he would take the affair and divorce just as hard as those directly involved. I can imagine him pleading for reconciliation and attempting to help Mark through everything while still staying loyal to his sister. It must have been a struggle, and one he never let go of.

illicit affairs

Oddly enough, this song isn’t directly attached to August and Cardigan, but I feel like it fits perfectly for how Celine felt throughout the entire affair. She lost her love for Mark. She knew it was wrong, but she did truly did fall in love with William. The pains of being in their secret relationship and how useless she feels is perfect for how she wanted so strongly to be out of this situation even if she couldn’t be without either of them.

invisible string

Since the overall theme of this song revolves around the individual lives of two strangers having always been weaved together by fate, I feel like it fits the story Mark is building with all of these characters. Though this song is much happier, haha. This can also point to Mark now wanting us to be the love interest and trying to convince us we had been meant to be from the start, him being the hero and all.

mad woman

OBVIOUSLY Celine. She has her flaws, but she genuinely was a tough character who cared about her family. Even if she had been put down for her fieriness and her hobbies especially being a woman at the turn of the century, this madness is almost a freedom for her. Actor wasn’t the best husband, at least we can assume, and William wasn’t perfect either. And she never confided in her brother until it was too late. So all of this points back to her not trusting anyone in her life other than herself, and being trapped with her own anger and passions. I could write a whole essay on this one, guys-

epiphany

I guess this one might be fairly obvious. William. The Colonel who served more than his time. Who’s seen horrors that he still has yet to overcome. I imagine this song is specifically about him in the war, fighting to stay alive for his friends, and then him having to adjust and rely on them once he first returned home and had to deal with consequences of everything he saw overseas.

betty

gay and yearning. damien and william. next question.

peace

ok ok hear me out- The viewer about Damien. They’re life partners, whether that be romantic or platonic. Working together, studying together- it’s obvious there’s a really strong connection there. Also, the lyrics describe someone I really feel like fits Damien- honorable, has integrity, kind. Maybe this is self-indulgent but it seems like it really fits them.

hoax

This song is about a toxic relationship. Taylor knows it won’t work out, but she needs the other. The undertones of standing on the cliffside, the mentions of heroes and scars and the overall theme of faith and dependency make me, again, come back to Actor, thinking about Celine. Say what you want, but he was codependent.

#actor!mark #wkm #celine the seer #mayor damien #william j barnum #dilliam

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