#But I won't be responding to anything on this post I don't think

[akookminsupporter]

I'm a diff anon, but:

"Okay, but I don't understand why this ended up with BTS being dragged into a mess that has nothing to do with them in the first place? This started with the lady from the coup, right?"

Yes. In short, HYBE ordered an audit on ADOR because they found proof that MHJ and a man planned to make ADOR a separate company, Mhj and the man talked with shareholders to try to get them to back them(ador) up so they can leave hybe. This is how it started and then later on a bunch of other stuff came out.. Reddit has master posts of this, you can find them if you want to read more about it

So after the news came out about the audit, she started responding to it, she claimed hybe copied newjeans to make Illit, she claimed that she was promised to debut hybe's first gg but they debuted le sserafim first instead, she implied that she was in a slave contract. So she namedropped 2 groups first. And then somehow some article reported that she went to a shaman to discuss BTS' enlistment and when they would go and so the shaman could make sure they really go? The last part is a bit confusing because idk how a shaman could make them go but yeah. And that's how BTS got into the picture. She later basically admitted this by rambling about how this shaman is just a friend of hers who just happens to be a shaman.

"Why did BTS end up being the bad guys again?"

Because nothing unites kpop fans more than hating on bts. BTS genuinely didn't do anything, kpop fans just started hating on them for no reason and they kept making tweets about "xy group disbanded because of hybe"

"It makes sense that BigHit decided to hire an external legal team instead of using HYBE's or even their own agency's."

In my understanding, they hired this external legal team or set up this law firm to deal with the hate campaign against Bts. There are a lot of conspiracy theories going around rn, about BTS/hybe being in a cult and K-pop fans being kpop fans and bringing up everything they can about bts' past. So I think this second legal team is just for the BTS issue so that the hybe legal team can fully focus on bringing mhj to court. Again, this is just how I interpreted it.

Hello, anon. Thanks you as well for providing a bit more context on everything that's going on. If you don't mind, I have a few things to comment on regarding what you said, and also, I have a couple of questions that I hope won't offend anyone:

1. Regarding the accusations made by that woman about copying NJ: why did she say that? I don't know much about that group, but a girl group in K-pop isn't something new, right? The concept isn’t that… new, I think? And their sound isn't so... unique? From what little I've heard and some comparisons I've seen. Is the new group exactly the same, or what? Does NJ have something unique that can be easily identifiable if someone copies it? And that’s why she said that?

2. She was promised that she would debut the company's first girl group: okay, they didn't do it, and? From what little or much I've read about what this woman has said, I've concluded that she's a tantrum-throwing and pretentious person who cries when she doesn't get what she wants. You know who she reminds me of? Veruca, the character from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

3. The shaman thing is complete madness and it’s probably the comedic contribution to all of this😭.

4. The obsession of Kpoppies with BTS should be studied. I can bet that not even the biggest stan in the fandom is as obsessed with them as Kpoppies are. If only they put as much effort into supporting their favorites as they do into hating BTS, they would help them rise above the mediocrity that many are in. At least in terms of sales, streaming, charts, etc., with the quality of content they put out, there's not much they can do.

5. Ahhhh, your explanation about the external legal team makes sense, but at the same time, I wonder if BigHit does have its own legal team, and if it doesn't, I wonder why.

#ask #anon #bts #bts fan opinions #Preg 197 #Kpoppies

[circular-bircular]

“You can have DID without trauma!”

Vent art. Mod “Armageddon.” Tw for COCSA and general abuse.

You are a system. You have DID. You do not know this.

You go through 15 years, not knowing this — just existing in a haze, having such a bright childhood, one you grasp for later in the dark moments, trying desperately to hold onto it.

At 15, you realize, wait. I think something’s wrong. You realize you don’t feel like “yourself” — and even more alarming, you don’t know who “you” even are. You hear voices, suddenly, in your head. You find notes you clearly wrote, but it’s someone else’s handwriting, someone else’s words to “you.”

You just need to figure out who “you” is.

You go to your sexual abuser abusive romantic partner best friend because your abusive neglectful overbearing parents would never understand, or might be too worried about you. You ask them, “What’s wrong with me? I’m scared. I’m confused. I feel like I’m going to die.”

They smile. They want you, they need you to stay, and to stay you can’t be scared. “Don’t worry — that’s normal.”

You sigh in relief. Thank goodness. You’re fine. You’re okay. Nothing is wrong. The voices are just normal things everyone else experiences. The fun imaginative things in my head are normal. The fighting, screaming, sobbing, fear, need to run, need to love, need to help everyone while fully believing you’re about to get hit, or touched, or watched, always watched—

Don’t worry. That’s normal.

You are a system. You have DID. You do not know this.

You are 19. You’re not sure when that happened — isn’t time silly that way? You are normal. You were a bit “quirky” and “cringy” in high school, roleplaying a lot. You do not remember the voices in your head. You do not remember their names. You do not remember two entire years of high school, and you do not remember that you have forgotten.

You see a student presentation in class about a story, and how the main character could be read as having dissociative identity disorder. “The symptoms come from childhood trauma,” the student says, “but people don’t always remember their trauma.”

She describes the symptoms. You feel… weird. Why does that sound so familiar? So normal? You laugh a little and look around, expecting everyone else to be rolling their eyes at such an obvious observation. How ridiculous of psychologists to diagnose a very normal thing, right? But everyone else is nodding along, very interested, and the professor praises the student for her psychological lens, and “valuable research gathering on a rare disorder.”

You don’t remember going to your dorm, or the test you took that day online. The next thing you remember is not being “you” anymore, because “you” is locked in a room in your mind, and now you’re someone else, sobbing at the website you’ve pulled up. It’s about dissociative identity disorder.

You’re not you. You’re someone else.

You go to your best friend. You tell them everything at 4am, sobbing because you don’t know what to do anymore, and you’re scared, because you don’t know who you are.

“You’re not crazy. This isn’t normal, but you aren’t crazy. I believe you.”

You breathe for the first time in years months weeks days.

You are 19. You have DID. You think.

There’s only one problem; you don’t have trauma. You do. It’s there. They hurt you so much, you idiot, why can’t you hear the voices screaming that at you? So what on earth are you experiencing?

You try to research it. All you have is a DSM-III and resources on multiple personality disorder. And, of course, tumblr — your home away from home.

You find a war happening. People with trauma versus people who say they have none. They all seem to hear voices, and many are angry and struggling and confused, just like you. You must be like these “plurals” you’ve seen. The ones without trauma but with DID. That’s not what that was, and you know that now, but it’s was so hard to tell back then.

You join them. “I have DID,” you say, “but I don’t have trauma.”

“That’s okay!” They tell you. “You can have DID without trauma.”

What a relief. You’re normal. You’re fine. You’re not like those anti-endos, you’re told. “They medicalize their systems,” you’re told, “and their therapists are abusing them.” You feel so bad for those poor systems. They’re not like you; you’re fine. You’re normal. Unlike them.

You try to avoid the traumatized ones, but you see so many of them getting angry. They keep yelling about these people who don’t have trauma, who are “appropriating a disorder” — that same disorder you clearly have, but you don’t have trauma.

You crash your car while dissociating so hard that you hallucinate your parts headmates around you. And you are happy, because at least you have a family to take care of you. Isn't it so nice to see your parts headmates in real life?

You're normal. It's okay. You don't have trauma. You don't need trauma to be a system, and you love being a system. No you DON'T, the parts scream, you're dreaming! Wake up! Wake up, please, god, don't let that woman hug you, don't you know what she did--

You keep moving on.

Then you see the arguments that spark something in you. “You need trauma, but the age range is wider than you’d think.”

Your sexual abuser abusive romantic partner best friend from high school. There’d been that time you fell out with her. That time you blew up at her because she’d kissed you in public, blamed you for teasing her too much. You realize how little you remember.

What else have you forgotten?

“I have trauma but it’s well past the age range,” you say to an anti-endo, knowing you shouldn't have spoken to them, because everyone tells you not to -- but none of them are traumatized, and this person is. “What’s wrong with people having this disorder without trauma?”

“There’s decades of research on this,” you’re told. “It sounds like you do have trauma. Consider that you might have some you don’t remember. Otherwise, you don’t have DID.”

You are 19. You have DID, you know it. You ignore this person. “These other people told me I don’t need trauma. You’re just gatekeeping. You’re just wrong. I’m not traumatized. I’m not like you. I’m better.”

You go to the ones who comforted you, listened to you, manipulated you. "I have trauma, I think, but it's past the age those anti-endos talk about, how ridiculous are they?"

"I'm so proud of you for standing up to those sysmeds! A lot of us have been traumatized because of how people treat our system. I'm sorry those anti-endos traumatized you."

"Well, it wasn't them -- but you're right. Anti-endos are traumatizing. They've traumatized me."

You believe the lie you spread, because they spread it first, and it sounds right. You do not mention that you learned you were sexually assaulted by a peer as a child. That would just be trauma dumping, and that would make you no better than a sysmed.

You are 19. You’re “cured” of your DID, because the plurals around you say that if you like your system, you don’t have DID. They say if you can’t remember your trauma, you probably don’t have any, and “most DID is caused by trauma, you just might be a disordered plural.” They call you endogenic, or mixed-origin, or autigenic. Trying to suggest you have DID leads to them talking about those horrible traumatized systems DID systems disordered systems anti-endos.

“You can’t listen to them. You can’t reblog from them. They’re homophobic, racist, transphobic, bigoted, ableist, wrong. Any information they share is ableist.”

You listen. You always have. You roll your eyes good naturedly at them suggesting you don't have trauma -- they just meant your system isn't caused by trauma. They just misspoke. That's all.

... But what if they're right?

You are 20. You are a ????? system. You say you have DID, because you are disordered and fit all of the criteria, and you can have DID without trauma. Maybe you are just plural?

You start getting into fights with systems online. You spread misinformation your experiences. Anyone who disagrees with you is an ableist gatekeeper. You get fakeclaimed and it hurts. Now you are traumatized by anti-endos. You try to avoid them more, falling deeper into those circles that include everyone, including you. They must love you. They love everyone.

You see a post about trauma. You realize, slowly, so so slowly, your parents have hurt you. You remember everything. No??? You remember so little, the voices scream, sob, you can’t remember it because you’re not even trying to. Why bother trying when you can live in denial, and keep getting abused each time you go home, and keep getting hurt worse and worse every single weekend?

You are 20. You are a DID system. You have trauma. You know some of it.

You go to your manipulators harassers friends. “I figured it out! My system was formed my trauma!"

“Oh, you poor soul, who told you that?”

You feel cold. “What?”

“Those awful anti-endos fakeclaiming you-“

You feel isolated. “No?”

“You can’t listen to them. You’re autigenic. You’re being manipulated. You don’t have trauma.”

“My parents-“

“They love you, that’s not abuse. They were rich, that’s not abuse. They only yelled at you, that’s not abuse. You aren’t traumatized — don’t let the anti-endos convince you that you are.”

You are desperate. “But my DID!”

They frown at you. “You don’t need trauma to have DID. Saying otherwise makes you a sysmed."

You leave your friends. They weren’t friends at all.

You isolate. You have nobody. You made it clear that you would not speak to the filth anti-endos traumatized systems like yourself. You have nobody left to talk about your trauma with.

You are 21. You are a traumatized DID system. You only have your partner and in real life friends. Your abusers force you to drink on your birthday, and come into your safe space. You have nightmares for weeks.

Then you’re 22 and you are stuck with your abusers. You can see their faces now. You know the truth. You feel sick.

You are 23. 24. 25. You find new circles. You've researched trauma more, not nearly enough. You briefly become anti-endo, frustrated as you see more and more people hurt like you were, frustrated that the pro-endo spaces do not have any resources for those like you. Then you mellow, you try to divorce your trauma from your experience online. You try to find places to spread research and knowledge, to be traumatized and have people recognize what that means.

You are attacked for being traumatized, because this space has never been safe for trauma victims. You remember how you used to think when you were 19. You remember how you felt when you were left all alone. You try to keep the doors open, but it's so so hard, and you have to take care of yourself too. But you try. God, you try to help others.

You are 26.

You are in so many circles — endogenic, plural, CDD, traumatic, traumagenic, it doesn’t matter. You have so many people.

You see people telling others, “You don’t need trauma to have DID!” You take a deep breath and follow what your disgusting medicalist inclusive and welcoming therapist has taught you about stopping spirals. You try not to say anything deep at first, because you’re clearly triggered, and recent lessons have taught you more that you need can’t be traumatized online without getting hurt badly.

But you see people denying their trauma. Saying, “I don’t remember any trauma, and even if I did have trauma, I don’t feel like I do."

You remember being that way. You remember not remembering. You remember how your parents sexually abused you, now, even after you thought you’d remembered it all. You remember how your parents hit you and neglected you alongside their overbearing lack of boundary keeping. You remember how you convinced yourself it wasn’t trauma.

You remember how you went back, for years, because of what people said.

You could have left at 19. You had the chance. The options. The doors to freedom were wide open, and you did not step out, because you thought your cage was already freedom.

How much sooner could you have been free if you had simply acknowledged you had trauma, and it had been made clear that it was okay to have trauma? That it would be safe to leave? That you deserved to be able to leave?

You do research. You've done research. You try to find proof of endogenic -- of non-trauma -- DID. You find fakeclaiming. You find people misinterpreting statistics, or even flat out lying about statistics. You find decades, even centuries of research, in the attempt to figure out what's happening. You even resort to literary analysis, because at least you might be able to find evidence of people discussing non-trauma DID as a legitimate scientific thing while psychoanalysing old texts -- just like back at 19, back in college, back when you first heard what DID was.

You find nothing.

You try to share your experiences still. You try to explain in more private spaces, spaces where there can't be anonymous hatred flung your way -- or worse, people who have determined that you are an enemy that must be defeated taking each word you say and twisting it to demonize you -- and you watch in horror as they remember.

"That's trauma?"

"That's disordered?"

"I've never heard of this before."

"I thought I was endogenic. I thought I didn't have trauma."

They're fine. They struggle -- but trauma is a struggle -- and more importantly, they now know what resources to even aim for. They know where to look. They know what can help.

You wish you'd known that.

And you will never, ever stop being bitter about the years those people took from you. You will never forgive them for their fakeclaiming. You will never forgive them for the years you spent being abused more.

But it's okay.

It's normal.

And isn't it better to be inclusive of that very slim amount of people who, despite all evidence to the contrary, and despite all of Occam's understandings, and despite the harm that inclusiveness does to those who are suffering, just have DID without any of that pesky, disgusting trauma?

What do I know? I'm just a filthy sysmed.

#venting #syscourse #You can reblog this #I don't mind #But I won't be responding to anything on this post I don't think #I just needed to get this out #Armageddon Comes While I'm Sleeping #tw csa #tw cocsa #tw abuse

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[front-facing-pokemon]

#okay i did not have to edit this one. score #shiftry #anyway i really don't like this pokémon or anything about it. SORRY but it's true it's really ugly and its mouth and the nose #and it has the same things i don't like about it that i talked about with nuzleaf. i just don't get it but this time it wasn't in psmd #so i'm not attached to it just by virtue of that. and well. that contributes to me not really liking it i suppose #ahh well. better luck next time TPC you can make a good grass/dark-type eventually (it's meowscarada) (it took 6 generations) #hi it's me from two weeks later like the actual day this post is going to post. i came back to edit the tags so i could respond to some #comments. crazy‚ i know! but i saw the tags on this one were a bit short so let's beef 'em up. the nuzleaf post got some comments #about the whole prosthetic memory thing. where i set reminders on my phone to do shit or else i will not do the shit #i literally have a reminder set for 2:30 PM today to eat food. or else i won't even do that i bet #and folks are saying it's a common ADHD experience and that i'm not a fail and i do appreciate it. i think i was joking a bit #i was probably just frustrated i had to edit the image after taking it but the gist is. i don't *think* i have ADHD? i do have autism #which i suspected for a loooooong while until i finally up and got diagnosed when i was fucking 21 years old. which is insane. so i wonder #if that's an experience that overlaps. i imagine it is bc they proooobably would've been able to tell me if i had ADHD‚ too #okay. i moved these tags over here from nosepass‚ actually‚ which is the pokémon i just queued up. so i'm gonna go remove them from there #see you in street fighter five everybody

[jankwritten]

vent post time pardners

part of my issues with the way I experience time is that one day to everybody else can feel like literal WEEKS for me. It's not every day, but some days, especially when I spend most of it writing or inside, not interacting with people, I feel as if I've gone multiple days/weeks without talking to anybody.

this then exacerbates my issues/fears that if somebody doesn't talk to me much for a day, they suddenly hate me. so if I'm perceiving one day wherein I don't talk to people much as more like 10-11 days, all of a sudden I'm panicking that everyone hates me and never wants to talk to me again because I've only said maybe 2-3 things to them over the course of what is, IRL, only one day. because I'm perceiving that to be ten times longer instead of the actual span of time that it is.

does this make literally any sense. is this like, a common occurrence for other people? i would like for it to stop pls, because it really fuckin tanks my mental health and i'm So Tired of that happening.

(more vent in the tags)

#tw vent post #is this an ADHD thing? #i just really need to stop tying my emotional state to the idea of how many people like me still also #like i need to stop relying on other people to make myself feel better #but I also don't know how to do THAT because so much of what makes me feel alright is like. sharing things with people. #so i don't know how to sort that out and make it so i'm not tying all of my emotional state to how people respond to me yknow? #it doesn't help that when i get into these one-day-is-twenty-days states my brain starts scrambling and i stop thinking coherent thoughts #i think what i really need is just. A Therapist lmao #but for now i will simply shout it into the tumblr void as i do #sometimes it's nice to just get the feelings out so they stop burning a hole in my chest yknow #none of this is helped by the fact that i feel like i can't talk to any of the people i actually LIVE WITH about how i feel #because my dad while trying is not super supportive of my gender exploration which makes me wary to talk to him about ANYTHING #even though i know he would be able to help me out with mental illness type stuff #i just don't trust him even though i love him so much #and ofc i don't want to burden any of my friends with any of this shit because none of it feels substantial. like i know i'll feel better #tomorrow and i won't ever even think about this again because that's just How I Am #but right now i just want it all to stop. lobotomy sounds so sexy and cool /hj

[bylertruther]

i almost wish tht the whole 8flix stuff never blew up the way it did so tht we could've gotten the actual real details n shit lol. like obviously the writers aren't going to release actual screenshots of the real final script but it's like. ndfjshbdkjfhbd. just dialogue....? ok... thanks, i guess... could've just googled the transcript if i wanted that, but okay thank you nonetheless... it's almost like they learned their lesson from the first byler script drop and decided they needed to super sanitize it lmao. 🙄

#srry to be tht guy but i don't think nick ruined his credibility n contacts n career for the giggles. be serious lol. #i don't think he'd release 38478373987493 other real scripts but then suddenly this one time it's fake. #this one time when it contains spoilers for s5 n trends globally all of a sudden it's fake? ok. sure. uh huh. #and stranger things is too big and too serious and made with too much love for their scripts to just be dialogue. #do u think ppl win awards bc they write scripts like the ones they're posting? cmon. #look at any other script for literally anything else that's out there. they're clearly leaving only the dialogue. #which is fine. it's their scripts. their content. they can release whatever it is that they want to release. #and we're not entitled to anything. but it's like ... girl if i wanted a transcript i'd just google it. BKHDBFKJHSB???? like.. ok.. #and on 8's site they added that the script is unofficial/unconfirmed but that really just means that #there was no confirmation either way. no direct statement from the authors that it's fake. essentially responded with 'no comment'. #so they're refusing to give an actual legal answer on its authenticity. #if it was fake they could just say that. but they won't. #golly gee i wonder why? #and now who knows when we'll get episode nine... or if we'll ever get it.. :( #including the other episodes but like. sigh.

[tuiyla]

Okay? I don’t usually complain, like when you post a bunch of Brittana because I’m actually here for your occasional posts about a ship I like, but I just said it would be nice if you could tone it down, especially since you said you heavily dislike those others

Anon, lad, fella. Look. I hope you realize that complaining about anything I post, especially posts I tag appropriately is a bit unreasonable. I post a bunch of Brittana fairly often because that's one of my main points of interest. You can complain but that does beg the question as to why you're here. I can only assume you're referring to Pezberry as the thing you're here for, and I do love them too, but I will decline the request to tone anything else down because, at the end of the day, this is my blog. You curate your own online experience; you can choose to follow me or you can choose not to. I promise pinky swear that I won't get offended if you unfollow because I post content you don't vibe with, but I won't tailor to your needs, especially when you stay on anon instead of maybe asking through a DM. Even then I would only be able to emphasize that I do tag stuff and if even that bothers you, I'm not sure why you're on this blog.

I'm also not sure what heavy dislike you're referring to but the point stands. Your original ask wasn't as polite as you think it was.

#this is basically a one-third brittana blog? #anon I'm begging you to just unfollow and go on with your day if even that bothers you #also i think i can decide what i do and don't heavily dislike #fyi won't be responding to more of these #i'm spamming the dashboards enough as it is #update y'all anon said it isn't pezberry #but i don't post anything of substance except for brittana and pezberry? #so what's the truth lmao

[vamptastic]

Ik it's a fairly small action compared to some other synagogues but during the seder my rabbi made mention of the palestinian death toll and said some stuff relating welcoming the stranger to the need for peace in israel. Which considering everything to this point that he has shown to the congregation has been stuff about returning the hostages from israeli sources, including a lot of videos by IDF soldiers (it's mostly songs, nothing overtly horrible, but it does bug me), is nice. I mean ideally we would be fully advocating for a ceasefire but it's a step up from before, and from the chabad in the area which has always been kind of insane politically.

#I hate having to reconcile practicing my faith with my political ideals so it's nice to see that maybe there won't be some #Inane Israeli propaganda every service that drives me insane. I think my Rabbi as a person is sort of in the middle here but outright #Stating anything nominally anti-Israel would not be received well and he did not want to deal with that. Which I do get #But it feels like by now things are so out of proportion that everybody can say that at the very least the fighting should stop ASAP #Considering we don't actually put any money or political effort into things (maybe birthright trips? but iirc those are a URJ thing) #Like as a congregation with congregation dues. I don't feel bad about continuing to practice or anything #But it's nice to not feel like my faith is always going to be out of line with my thoughts on this one thing #Anyway please refrain from starting a long debate on this post I will not be responding. It's just an expression of my personal feelings #I do not want to get into a longer discussion on Judaism and Zionism right now. I don't know enough and I'm tired

[sol-flo]

i'm going to destroy this damn phone

- the boss avoider

#long vent / rant on tags open at your own risk #straight up turned off my phone and put teams on do not disturb because i was TRYING TO WORK and kept getting interrupted by his whining #(he particularly said he needed me to work [read: be at the office. december 22.] while hindering my ability to do so !!!) #like the job is lame and boring and all but as much as i bitch about it i overall don't mind it that much #i was on a nice roll. think i finished this first website draft in record time (it's not very complicated but still. just 2 days) #and i stg i never have any problems with my project heads yknow. it's not a matter of being bad at receiving orders or w/e #and regardless of what he might say the communication problems are not on my end. bc again it doesn't happen w anyone else #i brought it up with him and he said 'well communication is a two way street you have to do it too' but tell me how can i talk to this man #i misunderstand a message he sends bc he never ever details what he wants even after i specifically asked him to yknow #tell me the whole information when he asks something of me #and then i respond based on the message i received and he goes 'well show me where i said that' FUCK YOU #he's always so passive aggressive about it all too #like if you say 'we have to look at the marketing materials to make new social media posts' and then. not tell me anything else #how am i supposed to know that there's a specific folder and you want me to take the text previously written and put it on new images #like that's a whole other sentence my guy you cannot be mad that i thought you wanted me to scour your social media and #make new posts whole cloth. fuck right off i have to put in my notice bc it's impossible to work under a man like this #like forgive me for the expression but he absolutely lacks leadership skills #if you're not good with people you should just delegate those parts to people who are and focus on reading about the metav3rse #GOD. i'll soon be sent to the seaside for my health (new years trip w my friends) but. i won't be on break at all so :grimace: #because there's that too. haven't had a single break except for holidays but like. only the DAY of the holiday #holiday on a thursday and you're expecting a nice four day weekend? well too bad get fucked you're working that friday #like jesus you're not providing anything so important you need to work your employees every legally allowed day of the year #just stop for the holidays! people won't die because someone's website has been delayed for two weeks! #to think i even considered learning frontend to branch my career options. i'm not stepping foot in a tech company again in my life #i mean there's still self important bosses everywhere. my friend's at a marketing agency and god knows the owner is crazy but #the grindset is gonna kill you and i won't let it kill me too.

[rin-and-jade]

Heres a reminder for you that being dissociated isn't limited to the common misconception where you are frozen in place, incapable of doing anything or even thinking, or experiencing a significant time gap,, those things. (This is a very important post, read till bottom so im happy!)

And while its hard to spot the milder signs when you're dissociating, don't worry i got you covered by bringing awareness, im showing what those signs could look like:

Dazing/blanking out several times

Hands looking weird (depersonalization)

Surroundings also looking weird (derealization)

Feeling detached emotionally, physically, or both

Light-headedness

Less reactive in responding

Forget things more often

Unable to focus or keep concentration straight

And many more..!

When you have multiple of those signs at once, then chances are you are dissociating (extra note that it can also co-occur with derealization/depersonalization). While it can be caused by various factors, i would like to add that it may or may not get worse as time passes and no one wants that thing to snowball until it got too bad (remember, preventing now is better than dealing later) so having a few tips would help:

Grounding (sensory): listening to music, feeling different textures, paying attention to things in your surroundings, trying different fragrant or scents, have some snacks to occupy your senses

Grounding (physically): feel your chest as you breathe, get your body moving to redirect focus, splash some cold water, hold something you can squeeze (such as a stress ball)

Practice being mindful. As it can help you re-anchor back to reality faster, regulate better, building more resilience, increasing awareness of oneself's state

Sometimes we go do our day without giving a thought that were detached from reality, usually by going autopilot and scrolling through social medias without being aware (well, atleast for me) and forget lots of things while being dysregulated at the end. So by being aware of the mild signs and incorporating grounding skills im sure memory gaps and those funny aftermath stuffs won't be a problem anymore, have a good day peeps.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that another sign is your hearing feels muffled, that you can hear sounds feel more distant despite close, i thought it could be grouped with the “less reactive” before.

EDIT 2: It is true that sometimes these techniques will not work,, so it's recommended to create a peaceful environment in hopes of going away sooner when waiting it out. grab some videos to watch, put some of your favorite musics or cuddle your soft pillows (if any, pets) and stay comfy! Do not stress about it because it'll be counterproductive. Full explanation at here.

- j

#did #did community #actually did #did system #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #plural #system stuff #sysblr #Jeducates

[hxmocrastic]

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧 | HCS

Pairing ; {📺+📖} Luke Castellan x GN!Reader

Warnings ; Yandere, Stalking, Gaslighting, Fear of Abandonment, Imminent Kidnapping, Manipulation, Inferiority Complex, Emotional Abuse. ALL CHARACTERS AGED UP 18+

A/N ; Sorry I didn't respond directly to you anon, I accidentally posted this before it was finished and couldn't edit it 💀 But Enjoy!!

Luke is a Gaslighting, Guilt tripping, Boyfailure personified.

At first he takes up his signature friendly act and introduces himself to you first. He even offers to show you around camp !

To him, you're just so adorable. He loves how docile & compliant you are, how your sweet little chin nod's at his every word. You're just so fucking addicting, As soon as he saw you he knew he had to have you.

In order to get you alone & helpless, He'll start spreading false rumors of your parentage, Just to swoop in and shoo those pesky campers away. See? He's such a good boyfriend ! Why won't you look at him?

He'll even get you into some weaving classes, After all a sword is way too dangerous for someone like you. Don't worry about it! He knows what's best for you !

Luke will gladly take his time in wooing you. Slowly implanting little seeds in that cute little head of yours, Whispering things underneath his breath, Increasing physical contact, Even sending you gifts.

The last encounter he had with his father was a scar that will never heal, and a reminder that the gods see him and his siblings as nothing but cattle awaiting the slaughter.

Underestimated, Undermined, Luke always feels he has to go the extra mile prove himself. He thinks that in the eyes of his father he's worthless but in yours he has a purpose, He's a hero.

He'll do anything to keep up that facade, As he only wishes for you to see him in a glorified light. Isn't that what demigods fight for?? Glory,? It only makes sense that you'd love him too !

But truth is, Although he may sustain his benevolent friendly facade, He sees other's as emerging rivals. Whether it be in 'love' or Competition, He views them as competition.

All his life he'd felt powerless & helpless to the evils that robbed him of his childhood. Like his life wasn't his own, How he was always at the mercy of others whether it be the fates, monsters, or the gods themselves. He's never felt real control.

But at camp he feels like he has some control, some authority of his own. And not just of his own life but of other's too. He's finally at the other end of the stick.

Luke loves the power he has over the camp, how the girls & boys of Aphrodite cabin silently fawn at the slightest glance of his figure.

How his stare alone can send clarisse and her cabin trudging to the steps of their cabin like wet dogs. The power excites him.

But your arrival was different. He would've thought it'd be enough to constantly receive the admiration from camp but he desires more from you.

Luke doesn't just want you to favor him, He wants you to obey him. To hang on his every word. He wants you to worship him, To give him the adoration he would never receive from his bastard father.

This is where it gets dangerous. Once the Luke you knew to be a sweet and protective head counselor, He starts becoming a lot more domineering and unreasonably aggressive. And whenever you asks about, He slips back into his loving demeanor and reassures you softly that everything's alright, You're just seeing things that's all!

But you could've sworn you saw him scowling at your friends. Maybe you were just going crazy, it'd be the only reasonable explanation right? Who'd believe you if you said you heard Luke castellan speaking with another voice, right?

For your own safety, You stay quiet. You abide him and start slipping on a facade of your own. Just play along and you will be fine...

He's your hero, your knight in golden armor, Depend on him and solely on him why would you need anybody else?? Love him and only him, and just maybe your cabin mates will be safe. (Not)

#🏷️ #tw yandere #yandere pjo #yandere headcanon #yandere percy jackson #male yandere #yandere #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #percy jackson headcanon #percy jackson hc #tw dark content #x gn reader #gn reader #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson

[sxmmer-cherry]

❝ あなたがいれば世界はもっと明るくなります。 ❞

𓆝 OVERTURE — inherently difficult it is indeed, to understand them and their musings. of all complexities in their heart and soul, simplest is their love for you; eternal, deep, and soft. it needs a tangible manifestation too, though. what is their love language, then, after all?

𓆝 FEATURING — all genshin men.

𓆝 NOTES — they are all in established relationships here! it's something i wrote in a sudden bout of madness🤭a formatted old post <3

🐬—masterlist. —the author. —leave a note. —navigate.

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE HUGS. nothing better than the warm embrace of your gentle arms, after all. all day they've dealt with idiots and snakes alike, and now that night has befallen, they wish to rest well within their lover's warm arms. it's like they're floating amidst clouds with the ecstasy they feel at the sensation of your lovely scent and presence. your soft heart beat reminds them they need not fret now—whoever or whatever might it be, you'll keep it at bay for now and let them rest; with the protective arm you place against their back. bonus points that it saves them long-winded explanations that they may or may not even be able to give.

— switch it to when you're so upset you're unwilling to talk. whether the anger be directed towards them or not, they will always work towards dissolving it. so even when you protest with soft pushes and push against their chest to move out of their hold, they don't let you go until you're crying and taking all the frustration out on them. it's what they want really— to rid you of your anger and feel relaxed; so don't be surprised when they laugh at your soft apology afterwards. they just feel glad that you were honest with them in a moment of weakness, after all.

AL HAITHAM, LYNEY, CHILDE

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE OFFERING YOU LOVELY WORDS. their words are honey to your ears, dissolving the bitterness of a rough day as they sink in. almost as though they open their mouth to speak, but instead of words, flowers fall out. it's the sweetest gesture really, even more so when your ears are bleeding out from the pain of listening to worse and worse people the entire day. and in their eyes, watching you smile softly as your frown relaxes is the best gift really. they don't really need anything back, just a kiss in return would be lovely.

— but if it's you attempting at offering them gentle words, they melt entirely. they forget their anger and laugh, becoming humble once again and losing their wrath. the way you gently appeal to their heart makes them heart-eyed, and as they stare lovingly at you, they can't help but smile shyly. to be the receiver of your love they feel much grateful, even more so when they're angry. they're all the more willing to talk out it with you now— although you don't have to fret about them being too reckless now, they won't direct their anger anywhere. it disappeared the moment you spoke so softly, after all.

KAZUHA, HEIZOU, ZHONGLI

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE HOLDING HANDS. they think it's cute, but more than that it's perfectly warm and affectionate—affectionate enough for you to smile as you both walk together and warm enough for both of you to engage in loving conversation. it's a gesture protective enough for everyone to know who you belong to. it makes them giddy really; complimented by your small habit of slightly tightening your fist around them when you're talking away about something passionately and they know to listen very carefully, even more than they were earlier, and respond to you with the loveliest of smiles.

— much similar is the situation when you initiate the gesture; although it makes them so shy they might as well just need a moment to snap out of it before finding in themselves the boldness to look back into your warm eyes. it's so sweet really, watching them being that shy when they themselves suggested that it'd be warmer if you held their hands— not that you aren't used to such displays of shyness though! it just makes them laugh a bit when they think back to it; what a pleasure to be reminded of your childish smile as they blushed then.

BAIZHU, CAPITANO

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE KISSES. don't get them wrong— it's nothing weird or dirty, it's just that it's the closest they can get to you without going any further. but more than that they love to see the way your eyes widen slightly whenever they kiss you even when you've been with them for so long. they love the way return to their normal size just as quick and then shut in a loving, gentle gesture. they feel obsessed with your vanilla scent as you push your tongue against theirs in a playful gesture, finding your soft lips the heaven they needed to return to after a long day at work. and such a delight is your shy grin afterwards as you break into a chuckle and hide your face in their chest— shy of their passionate display of love and they're left laughing at your sudden shyness.

— reverse it with when you're so giddy with love that you can't resist planting one against their lips in a quick manner, pulling away just as quick as you lean in. they won't say its unsatisfactory— not really, in fact it's twice as potent because once they feel the cloud-like softness of your lips against their own, they're left wanting to pin you down and first kiss you properly before you can flitter away once again; taking into consideration your butterfly-like disposition. they laugh at your bubbly nature honestly— what an innocent butterfly you are.

KAEYA, NEUVILLETTE, WRIOTHESLEY

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE GIFTS. trust them, it's not the worth or the value of the gift that matters. but it's the intention, for to them, it is more than obvious what intention you had behind giving them that particular gift. so even when they find an envelope from you entailing work details, they can't help but smile gently at the sight of the rose petal seal. they mentioned it to you— their fondness for these kinds of fancy seals, so to think that you caught on to t so quick manages to make them laugh as they softly tear the letter open, warmth igniting in their chest. and so was the case when you once left them a bouquet of garden roses before leaving for work, telling them that you were in a good mood today and would wait for them at the restaurant. they don't need to rely on these romantic outings for you really, but to them it's the thought, the regard you had for their feeling behind such gestures that matters.

— so they're just as generous if not more with their gifts. whether it be something as small as a chocolate, they just know all your likes and dislikes. even while buying groceries they remember in casual yet great detail of every condiment you like, don't like and use. so don't be so surprised when they pick out with complete confidence— yet with no knowledge of your previous fixation with it— the pair of earrings out of the hundreds of others you've had your eye on for a while. it makes them laugh honestly— they're your lover after all, who will take care of your needs and feelings if not them?

DILUC, KAVEH

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE RANDOM ACTS OF SERVICE. they're in your service, through and through your honour! all jokes aside, they seriously love you so much. when you come back home after a tiring day, or even if you simply tired yourself out after toil, they'll always keep the kettle ready for you. they're not so verbal with their feeling always, in fact rarely so for in their eyes it is actions that truly matter. they prefer practicality and devotional displays of affection that let you know that you're loved. from waking up five minutes earlier than you do to throw out the garbage, to making sure the kitchen is warm enough to be worked in before you come home from work, they mind it all and with surprising memory and dedication. hence, you smile with great pride when someone questions the devotion of your husband towards you, because you never have anything to say other than 'absolute and in complete measure'.

— but they feel just as happy when you're just as sensitive to their requirements and incorporate it into your habits. they love it so much when you remember the way they like various foods or beverages, or when you make sure to turn the heaters on in the study before they return to ensure they can work peacefully on their extra documents. just as soft they are when you always arrange their study when they're too tired to do so themselves and sigh with both relief and a sudden rush of affection when they see all the books winded and in their proper positions. they love offering you devotion and being offered the same— it's really just a question of who's at home to take care of things and who's not at the end of the day.

AETHER, CYNO, THOMA, DOTTORE

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE QUIET ADORATION. now look, they're your lovers, alright. they'll sing you a ballad if need be, but upon catching the slightest glimpse of your innocent smile— it's like they're weak in the knees. they're stoic men in real life, wary of excessive emotion or sentiments, but you stir in them the passion that forces them to admire you in ways more than poets have known. it's endearing really, watching them struggle at first but then you come to sight and they've written a paragraph about everything they've loved about you. and their pen just won't stop still because now it'd rather expose their desires, all the things they've ever thought of admitting to you, saying to you, but never managed to. it's cute when you find the crumpled paper under their desk and read it with a mischievous smile. they think the universe has answered them when you ask them out on a date to the nursery the next day— unaware you read how much they'd love to show you their knowledge about plants.

— cuter again is the situation when you wake up one day and find them sitting next to you, rubbing their eyes in a lazy manner. the sun is directly behind them when they turn to you and smile the most ethereal smile you've ever witnessed, the sun sitting atop their head like a crown of their royal elegance. so stirred are you that your hands move later at their own accord as you pick the brush and paint the scene— unable to forget even the tiniest detail; their lazy eyes to the soft stretch of their lips, then their rose tinted cheeks and the messy morning hair. you'd rather not show it to them and keep it covered with a white cloth in your studio at all times. its when they coincidentally go into that room during cleaning that they find the portrait and pull the sheet out of sheer curiosity that they can't shut their mouth out of awe— trust them that they've never found themselves so beautiful than when you painted them, and nor will they ever do so ever again.

ALBEDO, WANDERER, XIAO

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE QUALITY TIME. it doesn't matter the least bit to them what you both do during these pockets of stolen times between duty and responsibility, as long as they're with you. they're down for anything really, whether it be watching a movie or going to a pottery shop or learning a new language or just taking a nap. they're all down for it! it's just that finding time is so hard with their busy schedule that they're desperate at all times to have any bit of time to devote to you. they're so fond of you in fact, that even if they found you picking between dresses for your next night out with them, they'll laugh and then easily point at that black one and the pair it with the black coat and silver necklace. and then when they find you smiling secretively, they'll blush deep red and then drop the dress on the bed and won't speak another work out of shyness before you hug them and ruffle their hair, telling them that you really were just admiring them for their thoughtful nature. and then they'll hug you back, just as red, before pulling you down with themselves, tickling you, until you're just as red as they are from laughing.

— same is the case when you steal some time and then suggest seven different ideas about what you can do next with them, waiting for them to choose out of suitability whereas all they're waiting for is a slip of your tongue so that you accidentally admit your own preference— which you wouldn't have said in favour of knowing their choice— and suddenly they wish to do it too, and you, in your evergreen innocence agree with a joyous spirit thinking they're so lovely to have a choice naturally similar to yours. it's never a question for them actually— all their personal time is always devoted to you!

AYATO, GOROU, PANATLONE, TIGHNARI

𓆝 GENSHIN MEN WHO LOVE DEEP LATE-NIGHT TALKS. they can't sleep early, so trust them when they say it and keep turning over and over again in the bed. and then when you snap they're left laughing sheepishly, trying to explain why they can't sleep in the first place. often they manage to make you calm down and engage in a discussion— about your friend, the stars, the local news channel, the milkman, the festivities, you name it and they'll have an entire book they can write on the said topic. and they speak just as animated about these topics too, always including an incident about it or a joke that convinces you into talking a little bit more. while it initially entertains you, being talkative as you yourself are, you end up feeling entirely drained by the time the clock strikes three and you have to convince them into sleeping. red-eyed when you wake up they apologize with innocent gazes, almost instantly gaining a tired sigh from your side; the usual indication that they are too endearing for you to scold them.

— usually, however, it does not end up like this. late-night talks happen when the champagne opens and you two are alone, pondering one thing or the other in silence before either grows tired of the silence and mentions the smallest catalyst for the other to narrate a speech on, laughing when three hours pass without the flow of topics getting over. and no end is visible to the eternal dialogue even after you both see the time— stopping only with a laugh when a third person interferes. it's what they love so much really, these moments where you're honest and transparent with them, these pockets of time that are reserved for the both of you. it might not appear anything particular, but these long talks with you are what keeps them sane when stress and anxiety hit.

ITTO, GAMING, VENTI

#astronetwrk #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗ #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin wanderer #neuvillette genshin #neuvillette x reader #genshin impact lyney #genshin lyney #lyney x reader #gender neutral reader #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #fluff #xiao x reader #xiao genshin impact #wanderer genshin #wanderer x you #wanderer x reader #scaramouche #kunikuzushi #genshin scara #cyno x reader #cyno #genshin cyno #tighnari x reader

[inez-winchester-cameron]

omg pls write more of what you just posted of rafe with that age gap it's sooo hot 😭 like something about the reader being bratty on purpose and sassing him

cw: dark!rafe x younger!reader, 29 and 19, non-con/rape, drug use, intoxicated reader, talks of free use and public sex, abusive relationship

note: is this too dark, yes or no

rafe HATES when you disobey at parties. ever since you two have started dating, you have a bad habit of misbehaving at parties to get more attention from rafe. whether that be overdrinking, snorting coke, smoking weed, or flirting with other guys. all of these being things that you KNOW rafe disapproves of.

tonight, it happened to be a mix of all of them. you went to the restroom and came back to rafe talking with one of his ex girlfriends, sofia. you completely being oblivious to the fact that he was telling her off. you huff and head back into the room where topper and kelce sit.

they're doing lines and drinking, sitting on opposite sides of a loveseat.

"hey, y/n, have a seat," topper politely greets you, gesturing to an empty chair beside the loveseat but you smile and sit inbetween topper and kelce. they give eachother a look but say nothing.

"whatcha guys doin?" you ask, looking over toppers shoulder as he sets up a line.

"coke, nothing you should concern yourself with."

"yeah rafe would kill us if he knew you were anywhere near this," kelce comments.

"hes too busy bein up sofia's pussy to care. can i do a line?"

kelce and topper both look at you at this comment, a little shocked. they knew rafe and how loyal he was to you, he never even so much as entertained another girl.

"you saw him up her pussy?" kelce asks, confused.

"well no but- it doesnt even matter, just let me do a line."

"sweetheart i dont think-" topper starts.

"pleaseeeeee?" you beg, giving him puppy eyes.

topper sighs and glances to kelce who shrugs. eventually topper responds, "okay fine, sweetie, but you cannot tell rafe."

"i won't, promise! ill even pinky promise if you want!"

topper stares at you for a moment, finding your innocence both endearing and hot at the same time. too bad you aren't his. topper sets up a line for you and gently guides you onto your knees in front of the table. he gives you the dollar bill and guides you as you snort it. you let it sit for a minute, not feeling anything, then it hits. and you want more.

"again!" you say, looking at topper, feeling your brain begin to buzz.

"yeah no i don't-"

"what the fuck are you doing?"

your eyes shoot to the doorway. rafe stands there, arms crossed, hair messy, blood on his knuckles, and he looks pissed.

"rafey!" you greet him, trying to pretend you didn't just snort cocaine. you stand up, swaying, and subsequently falling back onto the couch.

"what the fuck guys?" rafe questions, walking over to you. he looks pissed, "how much did you give her?"

"just a line, man, she asked for it. quite literally," kelce speaks first and topper agrees.

"i didn't know you don't let her do that man, im sorry-" topper defends himself and rafe shakes his head, calming down a bit.

"nah you're good, man. it's her fault. come on, princess, we have some business to discuss." rafe says through gritted teeth, roughly grabbing your arm and heading to his room. once you're upstairs and away from people, he starts scolding you, "what the fuck were you thinking? you know so much better than that."

"you were talking to Sof-"

"yeah i was telling her to go suck a fucking dick. then i beat the shit out of her boyfriend for calling you a whore. but maybe he was right, you don't think about anyone but yourself, huh? always just assuming. saw the way you were staring at top." rafe speaks with no sympathy and you two slip into his bedroom. he presses you down onto the bed, holding your hands behind your back as he flips your little skirt up, "no panties? you fucking serious? god what is wrong with you? you stupid little whore."

you hear his belt unbuckle and your head continues buzzing from your high. soon enough, you feel his cock, pushing into you. it's immediately too much.

"rafe-! no no no-"

"don't tell me fucking no, bitch. act like a whore, get treated like one. maybe i should've just fucked you downstairs," rafe starts, setting a fast pace with his thrusts, not hearing any of your protests, "or maybe i should tie you up down there, let all these drunk men use your holes since you wanna disobey. i think that's a fair punishment, huh? i try to be nice and defend your honor and you make eyes at two of my best friends. fucking bitch."

"rafe i didn't- i don't want this- stop!" you beg but rafe doesn't care. he simply tugs your hair in response as you start crying. your head is pounding and it's all too much.

"that's it, cry for it, bitch. this is my fucking pussy and i'm gonna use it when i want. now whine one more time and i'm gonna make this pussy free use to the entire island."

you whimper and stay quiet in response. you think about leaving rafe, but you can't, you love him and maybe you even secretly loved being fucked against your will.

#obx #outerbanks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron oneshots #rafe obx #rafe cameron thirst

[hispg]

Love

Pairings: Fuckboy! Leon X Fem! Reader

Summary: Maybe he loves everything about you, or maybe he hates you. Yet he always looks for you when he needs you.

That must mean something, right?

Wc:2.6k

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, p in v, masturbation( m receiving), reverse cowgirl, smoking during sex, mentions of weed and alcohol, slightly praise/degradation, toxic relationship, light angst, finger riding.

An: I should have posted this a few days ago, but recently I've been feeling quite insecure about my writing.Even so, I decided to post it.

Also as a thank you to the 600 followers! Seriously! Last month I had 200, and now I've basically tripled that!I feel very grateful and happy that each and every one of you takes the time to read what I write! Leaving a comment or reblogging, the likes also motivate me a lot! That's very special to me.

If all goes well, tomorrow I'll post 2 pieces of smut, one related to Leon being your childhood friend (more cute and awkward? Idk), and the other will be with breeding kink (🤨). It'll be kind of a thank you to the 600 followers.

Thanks again! 💖💖💕

He loves the way your body lies on the floor, he loves the way you breathe. The breathless smile you give him every time you've just had sex.

Or even the way you let yourself be so exposed to him, lying completely naked, without a shred of shame.

He may love all this about you, but he doesn't love you. If that makes any sense.

Maybe he's too fucked up to be thinking like that, or maybe he's blaming it on the weed. Even if he was quite lucid.

He already knew he'd be leaving soon, it was always like that. Sex without commitment, just for fun. He insisted on muttering these phrases to himself every time he was with you.

You made him feel so alive that he even forgot that it wasn't supposed to mean anything, it was just another fling.

If it was just one more, why did he keep coming back to you? Why was it that every time he wanted to talk late at night he called you, at the very least it had to mean something. Or maybe it was just a coincidence of fate?

He can't say, to be quite honest. He was probably just thinking too much, maybe he just liked you for the affection you gave him, which frankly he adored.

Maybe he'd fallen under that spell.

"Are you leaving?" You ask in a whisper, offering the same sweet smile as always.

"Soon, doll." He says in a whisper, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

It seems you've managed to take his mind off his own thoughts, and now he's looking you up and down with a thoughtful expression.

After a few seconds he responds with a nod, taking a cigarette from his pack and lighting it.

Gestures like that weren't common from him, but it was different with you. And frankly, it made your heart flutter every time.

You knew you shouldn't feel anything for him, you always did. But who says the heart obeys reason?

"Can't you sleep here?" You asked in a purr, laying your head on his lap and lightly kissing his thighs.

He sighed, taking a long drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke away from your face.

"You know I won't." The answer was always the same, he didn't even try to disguise it every time you asked.

It wasn't that he couldn't, it was that he didn't want to. And he wouldn't give in so easily.

Nobody said you couldn't make him have a reason to stay, or that you couldn't induce him to say yes for once.

"Don't look at me like that." He mutters, giving you a weak sideways smile.

He knew that look, he knew all the tricks you played on him. And hell if he said he didn't like every one of the things that you do for him.

You still didn't stop, kissing and kneading his inner thighs, watching him as you did it. Letting him stare into your gentle eyes as you tried to persuade him with your antics.

"You're so fucking dirty…" He says under his breath, taking another drag on his cigarette.

He didn't stop looking at you for a second, his hand coming up to stroke your hair, making it clear that you wanted him to continue, and that you had his permission to do whatever you wanted.

He didn't care, in any case if you questioned him about his softer attitudes, he would just say it was the effect of the weed.

Even if it was just a lie to disguise his pride.

Even if you didn't notice, but his expression was always so gentle with you, even if it wasn't such a lived change, but it was there.

And he couldn't hide it any longer from the moment you nibbled and licked his thighs, making him shudder at the sensation that began to arise in his body. The goosebumps that appeared in his every pore.

"I wanted you to stay…" You say softly, as if it were something just for you.

He even pretended not to hear, but there was no way he couldn't have heard. Your sweet voice echoing so close to him. A plea that perhaps if you asked for more, so slyly, there was a good chance he would give in.

It wasn't long before you were kissing all over his chest, letting your hand rest on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze and stroking it with your thumb. You already knew how sensitive he was to certain touches, and you always took advantage of that.

"Doll, you're going to kill me like this…" He murmured, looking at you with another one of his gallant smiles, the one that made you weak in the knees.

"I want to make you happy…" You whispered slyly, running your hands down to his bare midriff.

Your lips found his neck, licking and nibbling, making a point of letting him feel your teeth on his skin.

He couldn't help himself, letting out a soft moan as you had your way with him, it was strangely satisfying that you knew exactly what to do when it came to touching him.

"You do, babydoll, you do." He says softly, reaching down to give your ass a gentle squeeze, as well as a playful slap on your exposed flesh.

You then giggle at him, taking the opportunity to grip the erect base of his cock, giving him wet kisses on his shoulders. You even dared to kiss his nipple piercings, letting your tongue hover on the cold metal, feeling the icy surface on your hot muscle, making you smile against his skin.

Just watching the way he sighed and squirmed against your lips, you could feel your pussy starting to get wet, clit throbbing at the thought of having him with you once again.

His reddened tip was already leaking pre-cum, the liquid sticking to him and your fingers, helping with the impurity of those wet noises.

As soon as you started moving your hand up and down, his grip on your ass became stronger, making you gasp slightly at the act.

You continued with the movements, the wet sounds mixed with low moans and grunts filling your ears.

"You have good hands, don't you?" He said with a smile, sliding his hand down your ass again.

His other hand still held tightly to his cigarette, taking deep puffs, his eyes never leaving yours.

You could feel his body squirming with your touches, his hips moving against your hand for any other kind of friction you could give.

"I bet you're soaking wet, aren't you?" He asks in a cocky way, giving you his usual smug smile.

He knew how turned on you got just by pleasuring him, by having his throbbing cock in your fingers, or even the permission he gave you so that you could pleasure him in any way you wanted.

And then just to make sure he knew what he was talking about, his fingers slid down to the wet surface of your pussy, his fingers playing with your slick, making you moan against his skin.

"Tight little hole wanting attention, isn't it?" He taunts, putting his fingers so deep inside you.

The next thing he saw was you sticking out your tongue, licking the trail of precome dripping from his puffy red tip. The act made him curve his fingers inside you, moving in and out without much effort.

"You're so tasty…" You murmured softly, giving his tip a kiss.

This caused him to smile a little, rubbing his thumb against your clit in a circular motion.

"I want to see you ride, go on, sit down." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

You felt it when he withdrew his fingers from you, resting his hand on the cold floor, just waiting for you to do what he wanted.

And obviously you weren't going to say no.

And you obeyed like a good girl, sitting on his hand as you felt his fingers sinking into you.

"Ah- Shit…" You murmured, feeling your thighs twitch a little as you moved up and down.

He knew your weak points so well that it made you angry, he knew how to make you shudder with just his fingers.

"Such a beautiful little thing, fucking perfect." He grunted, playing with one of your nipples. Rolling and sliding between his fingers, squeezing and pinching.

All this so he could see you moaning and rolling your eyes as you rode his fingers.

You were so beautiful, the way you let yourself be so exposed to him, the way you trusted him with your eyes closed. That should be worrying, but he found it so exciting.

Your breasts jiggling as you moved up and down on his fingers, making a mess of his hand, which by the way was already honeyed with your juices.

"Hmh-, so good," You moaned, leaning on the floor for support as Leon watched your every move.

You moaned and whimpered his name, biting your lip as you stared at his erect member. God, he knew you were dying for him to make you deep-throat him, and don't get him wrong, he wanted it just as much as you did.

Just the thought of his cock buried in your tight throat was more than enough to make his cock throb and twitch, he could feel his blood pulsing to his lower body.

But now, now he wanted you. He wanted to watch as you rode him, as you moaned and begged him to curl his fingers and reach your sweet spots with every movement.

He didn't waste much time and pulled you close to him, sliding his free hand to the back of your neck, pulling you into a hot kiss.

His mouth meeting yours, the way you kissed him so eagerly and sloppily was enough to make him moan and grunt against your lips, his fingers moving in sync with your bouncing.

Your spongy, wet walls pulled him in, accommodating his fingers, you were so wet that he had no trouble sliding in and out of you.

He could do this all day, watch you moaning and whimpering his name, pulling your lips together to try and suppress the dirty noises coming out of you.

And it didn't work at all.

His smile only widened when he heard you whimpering loudly, biting your lip as you rolled your eyes, your orgasm washing over you as you drowned in that pleasure.

"Good girl. Good girl." He whispers, watching as you cream in his fists, your sweet furrow dripping through his fingers.

"Fuck…Oh…" You murmur, stopping your movements, but he hasn't stopped fisting you for a minute.

His skillful fingers caressing your spongy walls, making you look at him slyly.

"Leon… It's too much…" You cry out, pouting at him.

All he does is look at you with amusement in his eyes, leaning down to kiss your nipple, giving your sensitive part a gentle nibble.

"I hope you still have enough breath to give me a good ride." He says with a provocative and seductive tone, smiling cheekily at you.

And well, how can you deny him that? How can you say no when he looks at you like that?

You were incapable of denying such a good proposition.

"Yes… You know I will…" You say slyly, watching as he takes his fingers out of you.

He soon adjusted himself on the floor, spreading his legs and leaving room for you to sit on top of him.

Without any shame, he fisted his own cock, looking at you and biting his lip. His veins pulsed in his cock, which by then was begging for some attention.

The sight was enough to make your cunt throb, your body burning and aching, clamoring for him. And it wouldn't take you long to do what he wanted.

And once again he watched, saw you sit on his lap, your back turned to him as you gave him a view of your plump ass, making him salivate at the sight.

With one hand he held the cigarette, and with the other he instinctively placed it on your hips, kneading the soft skin. He watched as your tight pussy swallowed him, slowly, centimeter by centimeter. Sinking into his lap until he had it all at once.

He watched his cock disappear into your wet folds, and felt when your warmth enveloped him in such a sweet way.

"Fuck, you take me so well doll." Leon grunted, pressing his fingers into the softness of your hips.

"Hm - I'm so full…" You moaned, holding onto his knees as you began to grind slowly.

He smiled sideways, taking one last drag on his cigarette before throwing it on the floor, turning his full attention to you.

The next thing you felt was a warm slap on your ass cheeks, making you swallow and let out a whimper, understanding that he was asking you to increase the pace.

"Good girl." He purred, holding both your cheeks as he just sat there and felt you bounce on his cock.

The view was almost divine, your ass completely on display. He was lost in it, so lost that he could only focus on your moans, on the way you swallowed him completely, his cock appearing and disappearing with every bounce you made.

And there he went, losing all sense and just following the primal instinct to just fuck you, as if it were the last time. His hands gripping your hips tightly as he thrust.

"Leon- mhmm-," You even try to babble, but nothing but incoherent phrases come out of your lips.

Your pussy was so full, so stuffed, that you couldn't even breathe. You'd forgotten how deep he could get into you, how well he could fuck you if he wanted to.

His grunts mixed with your moans filled the room, nothing more than your voices amid the dirty sound of bodies slamming against each other, clashing violently.

If Leon was being honest, he never controlled himself with you, was never able to hold back when it came to you.

His cock twitching as he felt you tighten around him, he grunted so loudly in frustration, he almost couldn't hold back his load.

"I'm going to come inside, you hear?" He says, he wasn't really asking, just warning you what he was going to do.

"Please," You manage to let out a sly little cry, feeling him slap your ass, another one of his requests.

He wanted you to go faster, and you could never deny him that.

Your hips rolling up and down, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you called his name, you even felt that sensation in the pit of your stomach.

Your bodies covered in sweat, heavy breaths coming out in gasps, neither of you could even speak a single word.

You couldn't hold it in any longer, your orgasm flooded you once again, your fluids gushing out, your walls squeezing his length.

And that was the last straw for him, with a loud grunt and a swear word you couldn't identify, he came, thick ropes of cum painting your walls.

Leon just gave you a playful smack on the ass, appreciating you for what you had given him.He knew it had been stupid to cum inside, but he couldn't help himself.

Now all that was left was to wait, he was just waiting until you fell asleep, while you swore that this time it would be different, or that this time he would have some kind of feeling.

But you were dead wrong.

And then he would leave again, break you into a thousand pieces without even looking back.

But then, he would come into your arms, to glue each broken piece together, only to break it again later.

After all, isn't that what love is all about?

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon x reader #leon x y/n #leon x you #leon resident evil #leon kennedy smut #leon scott kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #leon smut

[tinyluvs]

i saw your post and i’m here with fluff suggestions 🫡

cuddling in bed after spencer gets home from a long case and you just have to debrief about what’s been going on in your lives all tangled up in each other 💀💀💀 i hope this is good, just an idea but i completely get the not being in the mood to write smut thing

you’re a real one for this, tysm, ily & this idea & you were so quick with it too like 🫶🏻 anyways hope you enjoy! soft reid and even softer reader are my faves ♡ xo

the corner of the bed dips and startles you slightly, not that you were asleep but instead, just dozing. "spence?" you mumble, squinting at the shape of your boyfriend whilst pushing yourself up onto your elbow

"hey sweetheart, go back to sleep, sorry for waking you," he whispers, looking over his shoulder with a soft smile. after a second he stands, moving to your side of the bed in one big step, "sorry," he repeats, bending to kiss your forehead, then the tip of your nose and finally your lips

"stop saying sorry, i wasn't even sleeping," you hum, pushing up on your hands to steal another kiss before he stands straight again, "i didn't think you were coming back tonight, i would've waited up," you pout at him slightly as he disappears across to the other side of the room

you watch him as he gets undressed, leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor while he rummages for his pyjamas, "we weren't supposed to, last minute thing," he explains, trailing off slightly at the end

once he's redressed he practically races across the room, flopping down on top of you before you could even put your arms out for him, "hey," you sigh with relief like you do every time he comes home safe, your fingers brushing gently through his hair

"hello," he answers simply, his voice muffled where his face is hidden against your neck. his hands slide underneath your body, colder than you'd like them to be against your back but you don't complain, "i love you,"

before you can respond his fingers tickle over your waist, "no! spence, don't you dare!" you gasp, eyes widening and hands grabbing at him in attempts to push him off of you, it doesn't work

spencer grins at you, "say it back and i won't," he offers with a small shrug

"i was going to anyway," you huff at him lightly. he raises an eyebrow at you, hands squeezing at your waist in warning, "okay! i love you too, please,"

he hums with satisfaction, dipping for a kiss through a cheeky smile before rolling off of you, his back hitting the mattress with a small bounce, "come here,"

without protest you wiggle across the bed while he switches off the lamp. the space next to him, under his arm was made for you, your body slotting against his like you're a two piece puzzle

your head rests on his shoulder while your legs tangle with his, both of your bodies using muscle memory to get comfy. his fingers trailing up and down the dip in your spine while yours trace patterns over his heart

"how's your week been?" he asks, turning slightly towards you, his cheek smushing against the top of your head, "do anything fun?"

"i went to the park with will and the kids, jack included," you whisper, "that was fun, we got ice cream and swung on the swings until we felt sick, will was a bit concerned,"

spencer chuckles while you giggle quickly, recalling the way will had pleaded his own two children, you and jack to get off of the swings for a while, "i bet jj will tell me about this when i see her," your boyfriend smiles, his cheeks rising causing your head to wobble slightly

"oh i bet, will won't ever let me hang out with them again!" quietly, you cry out, dramatically throwing your arm upwards before letting it smack back down onto the bed before giggling again

"m'sure he will, now, what else did you do? besides traumatising will," spencer yawns which makes you suddenly very conscious of the fact that it's the early hours of the morning and he must be exhausted

"we can talk about it tomorrow angel," tilting your head up, you rest you chin just below his collarbone, your knuckles ghosting over his jawline and slight stubble, which you adore

he looks down at you through his lashes with a slight frown, "no, please, carry on" he pauses to kiss your forehead, "i slept on the jet, hold on," in one movement he readjusts both of you, so you're laying on your sides, facing each other, legs still tangling together

"okay," you trail your fingers up his side, pausing to let him shiver as his body familiarises itself with the gentle touch before carrying on, "i finally took the disposable camera to get developed, tried a new coffee place that i think you will like," you start to list off, listening to spencer humming after each thing

"uhm, i made that recipe rossi gave me, it turned out amazing," groaning slightly as you remember the pasta, "oh! the guy in the flower shop gave me free sunflowers after i told him they were my favourites!" you gasp slightly

spencer gasps louder, his filled with offence, "i told you he had a crush on you," he hums, matter of factly while drumming his fingers against your hip bone. you lightly tap him with your hand, unable to fight the smile that passes over your lips as he laughs

"he does not!"

"oh, he does sweetheart but you're all mine," he grumbles through gritted teeth, squeezing you slightly too tight but only for a second before you're settling back against the warmth of his body, "did you finish that book you were reading?"

"i did! it was great, you can read it if you want," this time, you start to yawn, eyes becoming heavy against your will, "hey, have you got the day off tomorrow?" you ask

spencer pulls the duvet up, shimmying his shoulders until he's slightly further down the bed, "i do, i was thinking i could read that book over breakfast, we could go to that coffee place you were talking about, maybe the book store and get the ingredients for that pasta," he explains

"sounds perfect to me," with a soft sigh you allow tiredness to start taking over your body, your head lolling against his chest as your eyes flutter shut and all your senses fill with spencer

"and we are stopping by the flower store,"

thanks for reading! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily !! send prompts to my ask box!

❥ spencer reid masterlist !!

#❥ my works #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #❥ spencer reid fic rec #❥ spencer reid drabbles #❥ spencer reid #❥ my spencer works

[luna-lovegreat]

Wait...

It's November. It's November first. Yesterday was October 31st, so October is over. ...it's over. Is it over?

Inktober, artober, whumptober, flufftober, linktober, every tag ending with -tober that's been circulating for the past month... is it over? I don't know why it's just hit me but...

This matters. So I will try to get the message across, even though I'm not the best at it sometimes

Fanartists, fan writers, artists, fic writers, people making comics, every single one of you that has created art for the past month...

Thank you

This is my first October on tumblr. When I started seeing the "tober" tags, seeing the posts from artists with wips, saying they were going to make something every day to a prompt, making masterposts to update with each day, I thought "cool"

But every day this month, I have gotten on here and smiled.

And I don't mean smiled. I mean I smiled at least 20 times every time I got on the app because I saw all the art and fics. I got to see artists/writers connect stories through different day prompts. I saw people having the most brilliant ideas and creativity, flowing from their hands into their posts. I saw artists responding to continuous asks, telling them how amazing they are. I saw artists getting behind, and keeping going.

I saw Free. Beautiful. Emotional. Amazing. Original. Creative. Art.

Every day

I haven't committed to anything of this before, so I can't directly relate to what you guys were thinking and feeling. But I'm willing to guess; I think you probably enjoyed it, because most won't do such a huge project unless they enjoy it. I think you probably saw it as a challenge you were willing to fulfill, and an opportunity to grow and develop your skills.

... but I'm also willing to bet you did it for us. For people like me, who love art, but don't do this specific type, who are in fandoms, who love tracking and watching you art and sending you compliments, who take joy in your work. For the other artists (and writers!) who admire each others styles and love to learn from each other.

If anyone ever tries to tell me that humans are inherently evil again, I will strap them to a chair, pull up these posts and say look. Look at what these people did. Look me in the eyes and tell me these sorts of actions don't come from the most loving hearts. Tell me these people don't want to make others happy, that they aren't inherently good. And I will tell you you're wrong.

I have so much going on, yet somehow it slipped into my life that I was constantly looking at your art for the joy of it without me even noticing.

And how is it possible. That we have such a beautiful community of people here that we will share. And communicate. And exchange compliments. And literally do things and send asks solely for the purpose of making someone smile.

I'm almost crying by now. God I can't express it well enough! But I am so. So. Grateful

You guys brought me a month of joy! You gave headcanons, and art, and stories!

Even yesterday, Halloween, I was blown away. Because I had expected... I didn't expect anything. And then I log on and see people sending happy halloween asks, exchanging doodles of candy, and headcanons and gifs.

And some are still catching up to the schedule or whatever, and that's ok! But at the beginning of this post, when I was simply realizing it was November, I asked myself "is it over?"

Is it over?

... I don't think so. I've seen artists say they're going to continue and expand on a piece they made and especially liked this month. Some people are still continuing, catching up to a voluntary deadline. All those masterposts with your whump/fluff/link/ink tober art? I know many as well as myself will be going through, looking over your posts with smiles, catching up on some things they missed this month... it will continue in the people and artists I didn't know existed before, but now follow. In the skills and growth in creativity! In the community we've grown, and art you've made, and the art to come, at a normal rate like every other month, even if it's not October anymore!

But my artists, writers... thank you so much. I don't know if you guys know how valuable and amazing you are. How incredible it is that you exist! People say it's amazing we exist under a sky of such stars, but how incredible is it that you made a stranger on the internet smile every day! Your life is so. So. Valuable. I can't even express how grateful I am that you exist, that you somehow are selfless enough to share the most beautiful parts of yourself simply to create, and to create joy. Thank you so so much.

(And this applies to all artists, in any fandoms, not just mine. And I'm just as grateful to people who couldn't do something every day, or only one day! You still share your art, you're just as... incredible. You are incredible.)

Okay.

So I'm gonna do this, and if others want to do it in the reblogs that's great! I do not care at all about reblogging or likes, but I want to make the people that have brought me such joy some appreciation- I hope I can bring you even a smidgen of the light you have brought into my life. So I'm gonna tag all the artists/writers I know of/can think of that have done any sort of October challenge, all of you creators that have made me smile. If people wanna want to tag others in the reblogs or replies to spread love that's cool.

(Basically I don't know social customs or anything at all, so if you don't want me to tag or if I was supposed to do something different or something let me know I have no idea what I'm supposed to do)(if I like accidentally tagged someone who isn't an artist/writer or forgot someone I follow... sorry)

@skyward-floored @kikker-oma @adrift-in-thyme @blueskittlesart @zeldaseyebrows @smilesrobotlover @bahbahhh @soso-dedeck @lennsart @arecaceae175 @illcamp @breannasfluff @solarfire-art @26kabeuchi @cathianemelian @truffeart @scribbly-z-raid @uniquevoidflowers

To all the artists and writers out there: thank you so much!!! You are amazing and I'm glad you exist. Your life is precious, and you matter. Thank you so much for sharing your beauty with us, we love you too!!!!!

... yeah. Just want yall to feel loved... because you are. Again, thank you. Thank you so so much to my beautiful creators who create joy as well as art, who keep storytelling alive. Just... thank you.

:)

#inktober #whumptober #artober #flufftober #linktober #lutober #sentences and stuff later in tags #loz #linkeduniverse #artists on tumblr #art #original art #artists #writers #writers on tumblr #fan fic writing #artist appreciation #love #fanart #fanfiction #fanfics #I have anxiety and I am so scared right now #I don't know social rules- I don't know if I've messed up #but I'm willing to mess up if it makes you smile #I love you guys #please know how precious you are. just by being you #if this gets one notes that's ok #if it gets thirty that doesn't feel like failure to me #I will be kind #nothing can take that away from me