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bored-storyteller · 3 years

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44- Twisted Wonderland, Riddle, Leona, Idia and Azul x Reader

- When Riddle looks at you he probably doesn't even realize it. Whatever he is doing, if you are around him his gaze is automatically drawn to you. It is a natural gesture that is not even programmed, simply out of nowhere he realizes at some point that he has only you in sight.

-Obviously Riddle is an extremely serious and competent person, he will not be distracted by your presence from what he is doing, whether it is giving directions or scolding the most unruly students. Only his eye will fall on you several times, to control you.

- But when by chance you catch his eye though, oh, poor Riddle. There is no wall or shelf that can hide the shyness and embarrassment that suddenly takes him. Why can't he look away from you?

-You smile at him, of course. Of course you smile at him. How can you be so merciless with his poor heart? The blush and embarrassment become the masters of him, and he cannot calm his heartbeat which accelerates so fast that he is convinced that you can hear it, despite your distance from him.

-It is obvious that everyone will notice the drastic change and sudden nervousness that the young leader of Heartslabyul takes.

-"Are you ok?" your voice wanders between worried and amused as you approach him, and his gloved hand instinctively moves towards his lips, in an attempt to shield at least a little from the eyes of others: "I'm fine! Really fine!"

-You don't insist, you can't be so cruel - certainly Cater will do his duty if he's around -, but you can enjoy that tender admiration you enjoy for a while. "See you later!" you tell him quietly, and he just nods, unable to speak anymore.

-Despite everything, despite the embarrassment, his eyes will follow you as you move away until you are no longer reachable from his sight. And believe us, he can't wait to see you again.

-It's not so strange that Leona's eyes fall on you, he dominates what he looks at. It is not strange to anyone that his eyes flow towards you and linger. It is never too much nor too little, he is the leader who keeps an eye on his herd.

-You are a herbivore, it is obvious that he keeps an eye on you - because he has to, not because he obviously wants -, but his gaze is always steady, almost hard, bored. That's why no one ever pays attention to it, even if having Leona's gaze on you so often must mean something.

-However, sometimes he really gets lost looking at you. There is no particular reason, you are simply there and nothing is more interesting than you. He doesn't realize it, and nobody realizes it, at least until you're the one who inadvertently looks up at him.

-And then there is a stalemate, you both look at each other in silence. Then slowly he begins to realize, you know from his feline ears that flatten slowly against his head, from his emerald eyes that widen slightly and from his tail that twitches nervously behind him.

- "What are you looking at, little herbivore?" Obviously he tries to turn the alleged blame back on you, yet that embarrassed childlike attitude of him makes you smile. "Nothing, and what do you need?" You answer him without fear.

- "Oi ... if I don't keep an eye on you, you'll end up being eaten by someone here." His tone is lower, his eyes are now narrowed, but his ears and his tail still show his agitation. You laugh, and he, now completely exposed, growls at you, then turning his back on you.

-He walks away, but his leonine tail hits your arm, tickling it slightly. It's his way of playing and you know it. Leona's attentions are not so rare if you know how to perceive them, and if you are willing to really know him, it is fun to have something to do with him.

-Idia is even afraid to look at you! Not that he is really afraid of you, but every time his gaze slips in your direction he feels in danger, sensing the risk of being discovered.

- Whenever you are around him he will try in every way not to look at you. He even pretends not to see you at times, he parades in front of you without a word, with his head bowed. He obviously hurts you, given the intimacy you think you have with him, but he doesn't know it, he would never want to hurt you, you know.

-However, when he feels safe enough from the looks of others, or simply when he is so focused on your voice enough to lower his defenses, he finds himself looking at you as if only you exist on earth, as if everything else was a background without importance.

-When he realizes that he is blocked, it is natural for him to fall into total embarrassment, it doesn't matter if you haven't seen him, his heart is too violent to be controlled.

-So imagine when suddenly your eyes dip into him when he still hasn't realized he's locked in on you. Oh, poor Idia, he thinks he can die right now. His hands hide her strawberry-red face, and in a vague attempt to get out of sight he pulls the collar of his sweatshirt over his nose.

-"I'm sorry!" He will exclaim over and over again, in total panic. You don't know what he's apologizing for, but deep down it's Idia, so don't think about it too long.

-"Everything is alright!" You exclaim, reaching out to lightly caress his head. You can't help it, he's too tender.

-His golden eyes peek shyly, as if he were asking your forgiveness for a crime. "It's just that you're too cute ..." he whispers to you, sure no one else can hear him but you, and you can feel his blush spread to you too.

- Azul's gaze is fleeting. He never persists too much, it is difficult to notice and can easily be mistaken for a casual look that falls on you while his eyes retrace the surrounding environment.

- If someone looks at him long enough, however, the frequency with which that casual look of his falls on you could be quite suspicious, to Floyd for example it is suspicious.

- All he does when your gaze is also on him is to look away with the naturalness with which he placed it, moving it towards his interlocutor or on the book under his nose. You do the same, of course. There is no way you can look at it with the express purpose of admiring it, right?

- It's all right, as long as your catching him red-handed is sudden and insistent. It happens in that particular moment when his pupils find themselves penetrating yours. It is the moment of half a second that makes the difference, that look of yours fallen into his eyes too perfectly that imprisons him, and there he is trapped.

- He looks at you for endless seconds, his eyes slightly wider just like a culprit. How can it escape you now?

-He clears his throat and puts his glasses on his nose, while his eyes wander lightning fast on the too explicit smiles of the twins. Obviously you noticed, that's why you're not taking your eyes off him, right?

- "Forgive me, it's indiscreet of me." He still mumbles, covering his lips with his fingers. Is it a blush you see on the tips of his ears? Now that you're close to him, he can't help but apologize, yet you can't know how agitated his mind is as he looks at your smile.

- "It's okay, I was looking at you too, it's normal, right?" Your sincere answer leaves him thrilled, he almost forgets to breathe. Azul is not one who speaks out of turn, but as you join him to reach the lesson he cannot say a word, too focused to tame his eyes which inevitably continue to rest on you.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #idia shroud #riddle rosehearts #twst leona #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #idia shroud x reader #twst headcanons #twst idia #twst azul #twst riddle

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shepard-ram · 3 years

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Gonna beat up tumblr soon haha. This is a long one btw. So this came from the idea of the Kaua’i ‘ō’ō. It kinda reminds me of Ranbob. He’s all alone down in Mizu. If you don’t know, there is a recording of the last Kaua’i ‘ō’ō’s mating call and it was played back to it by accident and it came to it’s own call, thinking there was another one of it 😭

Anyways onto the story: I know Karl wouldn’t bring anybody time traveling with him, but what if someone did? With that somebody being the reader. Karl and the reader have gone on a few adventures together, always sticking with each other so nobody is left behind and to keep each other safe because you both are just beacons for danger. And Karl’s memory issues start up a bit earlier than they have in canon so far, so they start getting noticeable before the trip to Mizu.

So Karl invited you onto another journey through time, and you accept, like always, and meet with Karl in his little library. His little time travel portal appears and you both look at each other, silently agreeing to stay close to each other and protect each other. After all, different times present different dangers and who knows what’s waiting for them on the other side.

On the other side, you both suddenly both become different people to fit in with the new time. And when you were able to perceive reality again, you did your very best to take in all that you could. You were in a small house, possibly a bungalow, and there were other people. But it was dark, so there wasn’t much else you could do until daylight. When daylight came, it became more apparent what was going on. You and Karl had ended up with a group of fishermen, but you had no idea if you were in the past or future.

And events unfold as it had in the episode. The fishermen find the book, they go into their boats to find Mizu, and arrive at the underwater city. Everybody goes into the city and meets Ranbob, the lone resident of Mizu. This is where everything starts to diverge from what it had been.

Everybody else is just as chaotic as they had been, but you aren’t that chaotic. You’re actually much calmer than everyone else. Karl (Isaac) is the more noticeable leader of the group, while you’re the anchor. While everybody is running forward with no thoughts in their head, you’re in the back with Ranbob. Ranbob constantly got talked over, but you listened to everything he said. Respected him much more than the others did. You even gave more sincere interaction than the others had, asking more deep questions than the others and listened intently. The two of you got dragged around by the other fishermen. Everything goes at it had, until the tree dome.

Ranbob, in one of his little explanations, brings you away from the fishermen to show you some more history. Though eventually he ends his tangent when y’all are in the meeting room to say that there was something he forgot to grab. He insisted you stay in the room though. He shouldn’t be long, and it’s only a small thing. You should just stay in the room and have another look around. Again, he won’t be long! So just stay here! You don’t give a second thought to Ranbob’s behavior, since he was rather quirky and not socially suave.

You wait patiently. Just waiting, waiting, and waiting. Until Isaac, Benjamin, and Charles run into the room. When they see you, their volume changes drastically. You’re bombarded by questions, but something sticks out to you. There is no sign of Cletus. In your pondering, you don’t really hear anything they’re saying to you. You do hear one thing though: “Did Ranbob do anything to you”. Now why would they ask that? Ranbob doesn’t seem like the type of person to do something harmful to someone purposefully. You barely say your answer before they go on to talk about other things. Something about a secret room and leaving. Low-and-behold, this secret room is below the meeting room.

Benjamin does the parkour and dies so Isaac goes to finish what Benjamin couldn’t. And the three of you go into the new room that was unlocked. All of the rooms were unique but this one still seemed so very different from all of the others. It was dark and filled very differently than the others. Seemed like more well-made materials were kept there. As the three of you wonder around the room, Ranbob makes his reappearance. You are happy to see him, so you and Charles exclaim your happiness to see Ranbob safe and sound. Though the happy moment is ruined by Isaac with him yelling at the two of you because y’all shouldn’t be happy that Ranbob was here since Ranbob was the one to kill Cletus. Charles immediately understood and his attitude toward Ranbob switched. The shock of the situation was indescribable. You were left numb from the news.

Ranbob killed Cletus? There’s no way that happened. Ranbob is just quirky and different, socially stunted if you’d call it that. So yes he’s a little odd, but he doesn’t seem like the type of person to kill someone. Why didn’t they tell you when they found you? You were left so conflicted over how to feel, and Isaac could see it as soon as the words had left his mouth. He realized his mistake.

So after the short talk with Ranbob about the new room they were in, which happened to be a room dedicated to Dream, Isaac and Ranbob exchanged some words before Isaac turned back to you to explain some of the events that happened while y’all were separated. That’s when Ranbob attacks and kills Charles. And you barely have time to react before one of Karl’s portals appears on the other end of the room. Isaac rushes towards the portal without a second thought, which indirectly left you to Ranbob. You tried to chase after Isaac, begging him not to leave you behind. Isaac doesn’t even give you a second glance before he goes through the portal, after which it closes.

Shocked, you slow your run to a stop. Why did Karl leave you behind? How could he leave you behind? In your numbness, you realize Ranbob is talking to you, but can’t decipher what he’s saying. Though you hear one little thing “I’ll take care of you”. He grabs your shoulder and gently leads you away. You had feared for your life when he killed Charles, but you were now indifferent to death. Yes, you still cared about if you died or not, but at the same time life didn’t matter anymore. You just got abandoned by your friend, to a killer of all people, in a different time period. He showed no remorse to leaving you, not even acknowledging you.

Little bonus: when Karl gets to the other side and back to the SMP, he goes about things as he would normally. Going back up to his library, writing down about his most recent adventure and putting it away with his growing collection. He starts a new thing though; he starts to write diary entires for himself. He starts it talking about how he’s remembering less and less, about how he fears he’ll eventually forget everything if he keeps going on these time traveling excursions. And about how everybody in that last adventure reminded him of people he already knew, but one of them just struck him differently. He just can’t exactly pinpoint how they’re different. It felt like he met them before... -🦤

This how who where do I even start????

Oh god this is so good, you didn't think much was wrong with Ranbob. Sure he was, socially challenged but you made sure to show him interest. In a way it kind of saved your life. You didn't believe he would do this. And Karl just leaving you forgetting that you don't belong in that world- love it, amazing. The "I'll take care of you" bit is just, great my little yandere brain immediately went YES this might be the tipping point for me writing about it,,,, Dodo love how you consistently come back with the best full on one shots,,,,

#ask #🦤 anon #c: ranbob #tw. death #tw. yandere #c: karl

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avengerscompound · 4 years

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Until the End of the World - 9

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 1795

Rating: E

Warnings: pregnancy, Anxiety

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together. Things are calm and you feel like a family unit. When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem. When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created.

Chapter 9

There was something very comforting about how quickly things just fell back into a routine. Yes, there was still a great deal of excitement about the baby. Yes, there was morning sickness and check-ups to deal with. Yes, you were under pressure to finish your thesis before things got so chaotic that you wouldn’t be able to. Yes, you were doing all this while living in one of the guest apartments while most of your stuff was under plastic sheeting.

Even with all that, things felt calm and normal. You had work and classes. Geo had school and soccer and music lessons. There were kids’ birthday parties and dinners with the Avengers as a group and just one or two at a time. You had trips to the grocery store and the farmers’ markets, and meals to prepare. You were living your very own version of a normal life - and as strange as it was, it did feel normal. You were a family expecting a baby just like millions and millions of other people in the world right now.

That was why it caught you off guard when you realized you were being followed. You were in your sixteenth week of pregnancy and clearly showing. Your baby bump wasn’t enormous - you could move around freely and had quite a bit of energy, but it was definitely a pregnant belly. Random old ladies would want to touch it and Bucky and Steve had taken to caressing it absentmindedly in bed or pressing their hands on it while you sat together in the hopes they might feel the baby kick even though it was still far too soon for that.

You were walking Geo to school when you became aware that something wasn’t quite right and your first instinct was to run. You didn’t think you were ever going to get over that severe flight response you’d picked up when you were being hunted. It was like your trauma had engrained it into your very DNA and whenever something felt off you would prick up like a rabbit checking for a predator, ready to flee at the smallest perceived threat.

You tried not to worry Geo as you drew him a little closer to you and you glanced around. Almost immediately you relaxed again. A man was taking your photo from the end of the street. He was carrying a messenger bag and had a large, high power camera. The fact he was only barely concealing his existence meant it was paparazzi.

You wouldn’t exactly say you were used to the paps. They did bother you in groups from time to time. Particularly if you went out with Steve or both Steve and Bucky. They would gather around outside the Avengers tower entrance anytime something big happened hoping to get a photo of an Avenger and maybe a word for them to sell along with their photos. There had been a few times when they’d gathered outside a restaurant you were eating at with Steve. And on a couple of occasions, they had stalked you and Bucky at the farmers’ markets. Generally, they were oddly not great at recognizing either Bucky or Steve when they weren’t in uniform. It was like the stars and stripes distracted everyone’s attention from the face or something. They also never bothered you when you were by yourself. It was news you were dating Steve Rogers. It was big news that you might potentially be dating both Steve Rogers and James Barnes. You were used to getting little google pings where gossip columnists would speculate about who you were and what your relationship was to Bucky and Steve.

By yourself, there was no news to sell. By yourself, you were just some nobody with their kid going about their boring everyday life. The news crews and paparazzi that flocked around the doors of the tower would let you pass unharassed. So seeing one following you from the tower when it was just you and Geo was a bit of a shock.

Still, they were not a threat to your physical safety. Just your privacy. You figured that this one had noticed the baby bump and wanted to get some clear photos of it so they could sell it and someone like Perez Hilton or J. Jonah Jameson could speculate about whose baby it was and rant about the way of the world that ‘The’ Captain America might possibly knock up some woman out of wedlock.

You got Geo to the gates of his school and went in and signed him in electronically. The school he attended was selected because of their security. No child went home with anyone that had not been verified as a designated pick-up. Geo also quite liked the security system and liked to talk to it, so that was an added bonus.

The paparazzi followed you closer on your way home and called out to you asking about the baby. You did your best to ignore them though you couldn’t pretend it didn’t make you feel uneasy. Part of it was just that having been on the run from some secret organization that wanted to experiment on you and your son had made you value privacy about all others. Anyone putting your picture out into the world was enough reason to run. Adding a complete stranger following you to that, your stress levels were through the roof, and by the time you got back to the tower, your heart was hammering thanks to the adrenaline surging through you.

You got into the elevator and sunk back against the wall. “FRIDAY, can you take me to Steve? Make sure you warn him that I’m coming.”

“Of course, miss,” she replied. “He’s currently talking to Mister Wilson, but I’ll make sure he knows you are agitated.”

The elevator stopped at the office level and you went straight to Steve’s office. It had big tinted glass walls so you could see him talking to Sam even before you got there. When you knocked on the door they both looked at you with concern.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Sam said. “And I’ll send you that intel.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Steve said, walking the other man out. Steve must have been able to see how stressed you were because he pulled you into his arms as soon as he reached you, and just held you close as Sam left. “What is it, sweetheart? Did something happen? I thought you were going into college today.”

“I was,” you said, melting into him and letting him support your weight. “There was a guy following me…”

Steve held you out at arm’s length and looked you over. “What?” He asked. “Did you get a good look at them? Is Geo okay? Where is he?”

“It’s okay,” you assured him, rubbing his arms. “It was just a pap. But they don’t normally follow me when I’m on my own, and it didn’t feel good. Too many bad memories of my past.”

Steve relaxed and hugged you again in soothing circles. “Because you’re pregnant?”

“I think so,” you said with a nod. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” You shook your head a little. “I know that this is just one of those things I have to deal with because I am with you - and I don’t blame you for it. It’s not like you signed up for the army to invite the vultures in to pick apart your life. You just want to make the world safer. And for me specifically, you have done so much to ensure that. But I didn’t like how it made me feel.”

Steve nodded. “I am sorry, sweetheart.”

You nosed at his neck. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I just… Is there anything we can do to minimize it? Make it unlikely it will happen again? Or at least make it so I’m not alone when it does. I don’t like the idea of going back to a full security detail, but…”

Steve shook his head and pulled away from you. “No, I totally understand,” he said going over to his computer. “I’ll get you a driver. They can take you to and from Geo’s school and college. That way you’re going out through the garage and the cars have tinted windows so they won’t see who you are. It should be a safer way to go shopping too. They don’t tend to follow the cars. The payoff is too erratic because half the time it’s just our agents or they end up going somewhere with parking and losing sight of them. If you do want to take a walk you can always just take me or Bucky. And if that doesn’t work we’ll amp up security again.

You moved over to him as he tapped away on the computer and sat down in his lap. He looked up at you and smiled. “Thank you for this,” you said. “I know I’m being stupid.”

“No, you aren’t,” Steve assured you. “Even if it was just a case of something harmless triggering your past, that’s not being stupid. I hate when cameras have their flash on. It gives me flashbacks to the war every time, and it’s one of the only times I feel truly vulnerable because the dissonance between that immediate danger that I feel and the safety of where I am -” he shook his head “- I want to fight and know there’s nothing to fight. But those people who do that job, they aren’t harmless. They predate on people. They have caused the death of people. Tony’s house ended up blown up because they stalked him while someone was sending him threats. What they do is not okay, and you not wanting to be alone around them is normal.”

You sighed and kissed him gently. “I love you so much, you know that?”

He smiled up at you. “I love you too, sweetheart.” He rubbed your hip as he looked up into your eyes. “I had better go back to work. Did you want to go to school? I can get someone to drive you in.”

You shook your head. “No. I think I’ll just work from home. Can you have someone ready to do Geo’s pick up with me though?”

“Of course,” he said. “I might even come down with you, just to make sure the plan works.”

You smiled and pecked his lips, before standing up. “Thank you, honey.”

“No need to thank me,” he said. “Keeping you and Geo safe is my top priority.”

You headed out, much more relaxed than when you arrived, and once again filled with a mixture of love and gratitude for the men who you had accepted in your life.

// NEXT

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #pregnancy #until the end of the world

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crystalkleure · 3 years

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Haha hey remember that post I made awhile back, speculating on what a bad idea it might be to fuse dead things in the godless Frankenstein fossil machine

Meet White. He is a reanimated corpse. Two of them, actually. Or more like 1.5. [And I whipped up this half-assed partial reference sheet in one night instead of sleeping, so don’t look too hard at the chickenscratch lineart and visible guidelines, and kindly ignore the total lack of shading as well as any other messy jankiness.]

White is a product of me wondering not only about what happens if you NecroFuse a human with a Pokemon, but also what happens if you make it even worse and specifically fuse that human with a Pokemon capable of mega evolution. Because canon seems to imply that mega evolving is at best deeply uncomfortable -- and at worst outright agonizing -- for whatever creature is going through it.

Character Lore under the cut. Lots of text:

White is one of actually multiple undead guys who got mashed together with bits of dead Pokemon. They’re science experiments, so they've got the dex numbers of the Pokemon they're spliced with tattooed on the backs of their necks, and those numbers were treated as their names In The Evil Science Lab.

In his Original Life, White [and some of his buddies] got gored to death by some escaped Horrible Fucking Monsters that were accidentally [...and then not-so-accidentally] created via Two Pokemon At Once In A Fossil Resurrection Machine, because hey, it is SUPER easy to think you got Just One Thing's Bones from an excavation dig but then later you realize that Some Of Those Bones were from something TOTALLY different that just died in the same place. It happens. So, some Fossil Scientist People accidentally resurrected an Abomination, realized they fucked up pretty fast...and then started wondering if they REALLY fucked up or if this is Cool, Actually. And then the team of Science People split into two Morality Factions, with one half being like “This is unethical as shit, we need to make sure this doesn't happen again because it's not natural so who knows how this poor fucked up creature is suffering” and the other, cooler half being like “WE NEED TO DO THIS AGAIN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SCIENCE. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES HOLY SHIT.”

Cooler group splits off from the Horrified Group With Morals, and they promptly use their Science Knowledge to Construct More Machines and Make More Monsters. Doesn't take too long for them to realize, however, that Abomination Pokemon are stupidly hard to control, because not only are they suffering, their masters obviously don't care for their wellbeing, so Revolt Inevitably Occurs and they escape to wreak havoc upon the nearest congregation of townspeople. They promptly maul some people to death at a nearby local rock concert, scientists chase after them to clean up the mess, realize “Oh Shit, Manslaughter Charges Impending”, and then realize...

Science Guy 1: “...Hey, what happens if you put a dead person in the fossil machine?”

Science Guy 2: “Hey, people probably listen better than Pokemon. We can, like, TALK to people.”

Science Guy 3: “Lads, I got a stellar idea just now. And we got plenty of Dead Guys to start with right here! Great way to hide the bodies too, probably.”

This goes approximately as well as you would expect, and precisely as ethically. A smashing success!

However, because they Fucking Died, the reanimated Newly-Monsterized dudes do not remember shit about who they were pre-resurrection. They're not technically even the same people, they’re more like clones. They've been remade. So, all they know now is Science Lab Life, and they have no initial attachment to eachother aside from "that other guy is also a Science Experiment Person just like me, so Same Hat @ Labrat Neighbour ig", in spite of several having been friends or even family prior to death. They also just...don’t know/remember things in general. They are fresh blank slates. And to a morally-bankrupt team of scientists, that’s perfect! They can train these guys to behave however they please!

...However, people might be People Instead Of Animals, meaning they can be Reasoned With And Manipulated And Coerced far better than animals due to their far better communication abilities with the Science People, but...there is Still A Problem in the sense that Holy Shit, A Person Can Only Take So Much. You can only treat someone as "Experiment [number]" for so long, blatantly putting no value on their life outside of The Value Of Scientific Research, in spite of literally basically needing to raise them like a normal child due to the Lack Of Memories issue. Eventually they're not gonna be able to take that anymore and they are gonna Fucking Leave, too. And they’re gonna be much harder to track down than the rampaging Pokemon were. Impossible, actually, once they’ve ripped out their tracking chips.

So then there's just these monster dudes, who don't actually know what they are because they weren't ever told anything more than necessary to get them to cooperate with Tests And Experiments, just Escaped Into Civilization and having NO idea how Anything works. Fun! Especially considering how, at first glance, these just look like Normal Dudes. Their monster bits either aren't apparent or just look like funky body modifications.

They've also got Science Things in them and they Don't Know What The Fuck Those Things Even Are. They've just got these little Devices in/on their chests, and they were never informed of the exact functions of them because there's no reason to explain to the experiment What Is Happening, just that the experiment needs to Hold Still and Cooperate and Now Do This, Now Do This, Now Do That, Good Job That's Enough For Today, etc.

Those devices contain both key stones and mega stones.

If you were a Mad Pokemon Scientist, you would most certainly be interested in the mega evolution phenomenon. What would YOU do if some of your Undead Fusion Experiments happened to be spliced with bits of Pokemon known to be capable of mega evolving? You’d kill two birds with one enigmatic set of stones, that’s what you’d do. Your Frankenstein Experiments can even TALK to you and tell you exactly what they are experiencing when you run tests on them! It’s perfect!

So, if a rock-bearing monster’s heart rate goes too high, part of the little device, which is a barrier between one type of rock and the other, opens up and Exposes One Rock To The Other Rock. Which exposes the monster to the Rock Energy Reaction. The greater the stress, the higher the dose. And I’m sure you can see the snowball effect that’s gonna create, at least the first time or two.

They were INTENDED to eventually be made to Physically Fight With Eachother to gauge the effects of The Rocks™️ when the Guys With The Rocks are under Stress and need to Do Some Self-Defense. The Science Squad was basically trying to suss out the Actual Purpose of mega evolution. Because mega evolution is weird -- it puts ENORMOUS stress on the body of whatever is undergoing it, so the hypothesis was that its true power is probably drawn out best via a perceived life-threatening situation, like it’s a type of hysterical strength, because what else would cause a need for that kind of ability. And aren’t ethics a bit overrated?

So, there’s our premise. White is just wandering around without any particular purpose outside of never ever going back to Science Hell, and he has no clue what the funny little doohickey buried in his chest does until it activates one day and absolutely fucks him up [...as well as everyone around him. Mega Absol radiate an Aura Of Sheer Terror that can literally scare people with weak hearts to death if they’re not careful.]

And now, some Miscellaneous Character Info:

The bit about Lots Of Death happening at a rock concert specifically was important. White was actually the vocalist of the band that was playing. He doesn’t remember that now, but he still loves music and has the same strong vocal cords. And THAT is important because White is partially an Absol now and Absol naturally learns Perish Song. These Fusion Monsters are absolutely capable of using Pokemon moves, though whether they’re aware of this is a different matter entirely. Imagine what happens when they end up tapping into those abilities accidentally.

That band was a relatively-unknown little local band. White was by no means anywhere near famous. Very few people even realized he was gone, and most of the ones who would have noticed also ended up Equally Unalive.

That black stuff between the belts on White’s arms is mesh. Like, stocking mesh. It gets Ripped The Fuck Apart when he goes Mega Mode and his arm fur gets Extra Spiky. Hence one stocking being a bit tattered in that reference pic. He frequently has to replace those things, they are fragile.

“How did White get his name if he doesn’t remember his original name and didn’t have a real name in the lab” I am glad you asked! Post-escape, he eventually encountered a situation where someone asked him what his name was, he bluntly told them “I don’t have one. I am #359.”, they said “Well That Is Not A Name, I need something proper to call you”, and he was just...Super Apathetic. So, the other person picked out the name “White” just based on the fact that White’s hair is white, and he just shrugged and rolled with it.

As you can see in my Incredibly Quick And Rough Sketches, the backs of White’s shirts are open to accommodate that huge amount of fur that bristles out into false wings when he goes Mega Mode. Because his Actual Normal Hair is relatively long and overlaps with that fur, it blends in with his Actual Normal Hair and doesn’t look too odd [when it’s down]. Probably mostly because nobody’s expecting it to be anything OTHER than Perfectly Normal Hair That Just Happens To Be Very Long.

White does not particularly like violence. White does not want to beat you up. He will, though, without a bit of hesitation, if there’s some logical reason he feels like it’s the most practical course of action. Being essentially raised by Cold, Emotionally-Sterile Scientists With No Care For The Wellbeing Other Living Beings uh, tends to affect a guy a little bit. White has a bit of an internal dilemma regarding “It would be efficient for me to just Harm This Other Person to defuse the current situation, because attempting nonviolence will be overall more risky somehow” vs. “Holy shit it feels bad when I hurt people. Why does it feel bad when I hurt people. Is it...SUPPOSED to feel bad when I hurt people?? No one ever felt bad for hurting me.” He Figures Out How Empathy Works Eventually. He is a good guy at heart. He is a Monotone Snarker, but not actually Cold or Malicious at all.

If an Absol can do it, White can probably do it. He has incredibly keen senses and a STRONG ability to Detect Impending Doom. He has exactly the amount of Supernatural Absol Powers you would expect. He is also stupidly physically strong, way more so than he appears to be.

White can’t punch people. Look at the fist he’s making in the pic, he’s doing it wrong. If you punch someone like that, you WILL break your own thumb. That’s not a Revving Up To Sock Someone pose, he’s just tense. He’s using his thumb as a buffer between his long-ass Sharp As Fuck claws and the flesh of his palm. If White tries to punch anybody, or just makes a proper fist at all, he will impale his own hand on his nails. Like, all the way through. He CAN slash straight through things like metal and bone with those claws, though.

White...is unsettling. Completely accidentally, and unknowingly. He just radiates an Aura Of Intimidation [...or Pressure], even when not in Mega Mode, that scales depending on his mood. Just being near him tends to put people and Pokemon on edge. Thus, he’s generally avoided.

The latter point is especially unfortunate, because White’s preferred method of Socializing and Bonding is to just kind of quietly hang out in the same room as whoever he is trying to Socialize and Bond with. He just wants to, like...chill out Near A Buddy and watch a movie and share a bag of chips or something. His social skills are predictably not good.

#DO YOU LIKE MY TOTALLY NORMAL GUY #HE SUFFERS #He's pretty though and that's what actually matters here right #I need to draw the other Totally Normal Guys sometime too. White is Part Of A Set.#Pokemon #CK's art #OCs #I have Long Pointy Fingernails myself can you tell

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rawr-ily · 4 years

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A Stupidly Long Bokuto Analysis

CEO of thought dumping and calling glamorized rants “essays”

I already made a character analysis for my kin character (Oikawa) so here’s one for my favorite/ultimate comfort character :)

"The world" is a recurring theme with Bokuto. He has a strange habit of always looking at the bigger picture. By which I mean, he doesn’t really look out for little details. He's simple minded, so he takes things at face value. Tokyo isn't enough for him. Japan isn't enough. Asia isn't enough. He wants the world. He doesn't care if it seems like too much, or if it's unreasonable. He knows what he wants, and he's going to get it.

This is more noticeable in the manga. For example, there's the iconic "No matter what they say, we are the protagonists of the world" . Yes, I know Akaashi is the one the says this line, but it really mainly applies to Bokuto. We know Bokuto has this strange sort of charisma that makes him ridiculously likable to pretty much anyone. Now, I REALLY didn't wanna make this about Akaashi, but it seems like that's actually Furudate's intention. It's almost as though he didn't want to give us direct access to Bokuto's thoughts for most of the series. Instead, how did we get that? Akaashi. Akaashi is the narrator for Bokuto's thoughts. Bokuto is so random, so unique and strange, that it wouldn't make sense for us to have access to his mind. Yes, we get direct thoughts from him time to time, but Akaashi is the one who really tells us most of it. He's there to filter out Bokuto's thoughts because it would be too strange for us to understand. We would never be able to figure out Bokuto because he can't even figure out himself. That's technically Akaashi's "purpose" in the story. I don't mean that in a bad way though. I would explain more, but I wanna keep this about Bokuto as much as possible.

ANYWAY, we can sort of see Akaashi as an "extension" of Bokuto. When Akaashi says "we are the protagonists of the world", he is not talking to himself or the reader. He's talking to Bokuto, because he knows Bokuto wants the world. Another thing about this quote is that he begins with "No matter what they say..." This kind of made me to a double take. Why would someone say they aren't? But then I remembered in the manga, we get a scene of Bokuto running with some classmates. It was probably for a gym class of sorts. It's Bokuto's turn to set the pace for their run, and everybody's upset because he always goes too fast and too overboard. Bokuto doesn't really notice, and he goes forth anyway. However, after a while, he looks back and realizes nobody is running with him anymore.

Sound familiar? Kageyama's teammates left him in the same way Bokuto's did. They couldn't keep up, so they abandoned them. We're more familiar with Kageyama's past, so it's a bit easier to understand Bokuto's if you see that little parallel. I might be reaching a little here, but it's possible that people have told Bokuto that the world doesn't revolve around him in the same way Kageyama was mockingly called a king. It's a common thing said to people like Bokuto, who don't really understand much outside their own head. It's not a bad thing, but many people misinterpret it as arrogance or a disregard for others. Bokuto's charisma apparently didn't work for everyone, considering how annoyed his classmates were; I think it's a possibility that people made some snide remarks.

We also see that Bokuto is actually incredibly desperate for validation. He constantly brags about his amazing talent, always wants people to see the cool things he does, and thrives off compliments. He wants attention, and that's not a bad thing at all. It just means he wants people to acknowledge how great he is, and he feels happy when they do. That's really just scraping the surface of all that quote tells us, but I want to move on to something else.

Another recurring thing about Bokuto is his use of the word "ordinary" It seems that he doesn't really understand what the word means, but I think he knows its meaning better than anyone. Bokuto using the word first stood out to me when Fukurodani player a difficult match against another school in Nationals. I'm not too familiar with the timeline, so correct me if I'm wrong. Bokuto told the rest of Fukurodani that, up until that point, he was "an ace coddled by his team" and now he's ready to be "just an ace". He wants to be an ordinary ace, which seems quite strange. This is Bokuto, and wants to be ordinary?

Bokuto has a different understanding of "ordinary" than most people do. He's simple minded, not stupid. It's not that he doesn't think; he just thinks differently. He's that unique type of person who thinks out of the box by default. When most people think of ordinary, we think of boring, plain, normal. It's been given a negative connotation by most people. Bokuto doesn't listen to connotation.

Remember that he takes things at face value? This is an example. To us, ordinary is boring. To him, it's a goal. Bokuto sees ordinary as what things are supposed to be. He wants to be an ordinary ace. Aces are supposed to be the awesome, powerful stars of the team. Aces are supposed to be the best. He wants to be the best. Therefore, he wants to be an ordinary ace. It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to fully understand that entire bit, to be honest.

It's actually more clearly stated in one of the last manga chapters after MSBY vs. Schweiden. Akaashi interviews Bokuto for the manga company he works at, and Bokuto tells him that he has become "ordinary". Akaashi is confused and tells Bokuto that he has never been ordinary. Bokuto laughs and makes some remark about how Akaashi didn't realize just how ordinary he's become. We get a little throwback to Akaashi's 0.5 second thought process, and he realizes immediately that Bokuto doesn't use the word "ordinary" like he does. Even more impressive, he seems to also realize exactly what he means by it. Akaashi tells him that he (Akaashi) was mistaken and Bokuto is actually "super ordinary".

THIS PART TOOK ME A GOOD TWENTY MINUTES, AND AKAASHI DID IT IN 0.5 SECONDS. He's the real master at Bokuto analysis. Though Bokuto doesn't get enough serious background, so he's a difficult one to analyze. It's also much harder to put him into words? Again, he's a very unique character. He even has a surprising amount of duality in him. Though we as a fandom perceive him as an optimist, it seems his mood swings often force him into a state of overwhelming pessimism. I actually find it quite funny. It's almost like his left brain and right brain are fighting a battle, and left brain almost loses but summons the strength to momentarily completely overwhelm right brain before it takes back control. I got a very strange visual from that though.

Regardless, it just means I think his mind tries to balance out his naive optimism with intense flashes of pessimism. Bokuto gives his all to EVERYTHING. That's actually sort of an issue for him. If he's happy, he's VERY happy. If he's upset, he's VERY upset. He wants to be the best at all he doesbecause he just wants to have fun. He's not having fun when he loses, so he doesn't want to lose. It's so simple, but it's strangely inspiring. It's the straightforward answer to Tsukishima's question. Why do we push ourselves to be the best when we know there is no such thing? What motivates us? Our desire to win. What makes us want to win? Our desire to win is fueled by hatred for losing. Why don't we want to lose? We don't want to lose because it's not fun. Why isn't it fun? It just isn't. Bokuto doesn't try to dig for those answers. After all, why is anything the way it is? What does it matter? He doesn't care as long as he's enjoying himself.

I suppose that's one of the nice parts of being so simple minded. He's able to enjoy life to the fullest because he doesn't want to focus on things he doesn't like. That means his future character growth will be about having to do things he doesn't like because that's a part of life. It'll actually be quite sad to watch Bokuto grow up. What he needs to do is find a balance for all the duality in him so he doesn't need to give up his childishness or force out his mature side. If he can find a balance, it just means he'll be able to do both when he needs to. If he can do that, he'll get through everything life throws at him. He can still have fun.

He doesn't get enough serious screen time, so I can't really say anymore about him that can be reinforced by things from the anime or manga. This was only around 1.5K, so hopefully it was a pretty easy read? I still don't wanna edit this, so just tell me if things don't make sense! Also, please remember that Bokuto IS NOT AN IDIOT, SO PLEASE STOP CALLING HIM ONE IF IT’S NOT FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. Thank you :)

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ververa · 4 years

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Twist In The Sobriety

Request: something sweet and fluff with mina about her insecurity and reader being understanding and saying that she loves her, you can take it wherever you want, smutt or not, I would just love something sweet.

A/N:@honeysorwell I hope this can do! Sorry if this is shit. Also I’m deeply sorry it took me so long. I’m just really discouraged and I’m kind of struggling rn. Anyways, hope you enjoy it!

Wilhemina Venable x reader

Word count: 5 500

Wilhemina Venable was a professor of literature, who held the position of pro-rector for over two years. Wilhemina was known as a very strict, demanding and cynical woman. Some even considered her mean. She was respected by other professors and hated by students, as she was the one ‘ruining’ their plans. She came off as an unapproachable woman, who had a heart of stone and no mercy. She always wore dark purple or black suits, had her dark hair pulled back in a bun and she never smiled. Most people felt intimidated by her, but you were fascinated. For you she was the most perfect woman you had ever seen. You really wanted to get to know her, but it wasn’t possible. Wilhemina spent most of the time in her office and you only saw her passing by from time to time. Though you were very observant, so you obviously made some assumptions.

You hoped that one day you would be able to meet her. You were fantasizing about how your first meeting could go, though none of those scenarios came true. The reality totally surprised you as you met her when you least expected it.

Wilhemina rarely had classes, she almost completely gave up on teaching after she became a pro-rector. She did lectures for a small group of students, who displayed advanced level of required subjects. Other than that Wilhemina barely left her office and if she did - it was only to inspect the condition of the university and to check if certain rules were followed by students and professors.

It was one of those days, when she actually got bored. She decided it was a good time to inspect one of her colleagues. In fact, Wilhemina didn’t care about what was going on in the classrooms as long as no rules were broken. She usually went there only to make herself feel better or eventually meet those students who were noticeably superior to the group.

She had heard quite a lot about you from other professors. They were always praising you and she got a bit curious. It had been a long time since anyone managed to make any impression on her. It was really hard to do it, and she started believing that no one and nothing could ever impress her again. Yet then she met you.

You had a lecture with one of the professors that you truly despised. The man was over 50 years old. He was arrogant and overconfident, but what you hated the most about him was that he had no respect for women. He kept insulting and abusing female students for years, though none of them was brave enough to stand up to him. That was until you. You had been brought up in a family of lawyers, so holding various kinds of discussion was something that you had been taught for years. You had no trouble objecting him and then finding arguments to prove your point. Normally you tried to control yourself and be respectful, but that time was different. That time you got too angry to hold yourself back.

Wilhemina didn’t like to rush. She took her time getting to the right classroom and used the back door, so as not to interrupt. She had expected yet another boring lecture, but to her surprise she found you arguing with her colleague.

“I fail to understand how some of you, men, can be so narrow-minded. You classify women only in two categories - fuckable and non-fuckable. But let me tell you, there is more than that”

Venable scanned the room trying to understand what was going on. She decided not to interfere, because your speech sounded pretty interesting and promiscuous.

“Let’s take Miss Venable for example. You are all sure that you know her, but the truth is you only get to see the surface layer. And you are too oblivious and unintelligent to even consider that there is something more. In result you totally misunderstand her and perceive her in a wrong way”

“That’s enough. Sit down Y/N”

“No”

“Sit down!”

“I’ll sit when I’m done”

“You’ll regret it. You’ll get punish for your insubordination”

“It’s not insubordination. We’re just having a discussion and you’re calling it an ‘insubordination’, because I’m right and you don’t have any arguments. But of course, I understand it’s hard to admit that you’re just a fool with a low self-esteem, who tries to compensate for it by using young students and turning their life into hell if they refuse to have sex with you”

“Miss Y/L/N as a future lawyer you should know how to keep your head right, but apparently you’re not able to. I’ll not tolerate such behaviour in my classes. That’s why I think you can’t continue the course”

“Oh, I’m very calm. It’s you who takes it personal and reacts emotionally, because you can’t stand the fact that women can be more powerful. What hurts you the most is that you’re intimidated by us, by Miss Venable. And if that wasn’t enough she also took the position that you aspired to hold. And now I beat you, using the right arguments - the same as she beat you thanks to her qualifications. But of course, it’s our fault, because as women we’re supposed to serve you. I’m sorry to inform you, but the medieval times are over”

Wilhemina stood there shocked. She finally understood why everyone was talking about you. She hadn’t heard such kind of argument in a while. And you talking about her in such a way truly impressed her. Of course Wilhemina wasn’t the type of person who would admit that you made her speechless, so she composed herself and slowly approached you.

“Oh, and one more thing” you continued not realizing Wilhemina was there “Next time I find out you tried to abuse any woman, I’ll report you to Miss Venable. You’ll have a chance to ask how she's doing...”

“I’m good. Thank you” Wilhemina said as calm as possible - trying to hide her amusement

You slowly turned round only to see her looking at you.

“Miss Venable…”

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you”

“That’s… umm… that’s my pleasure” you said a bit dumbfounded

“Wilhemina… I can explain” your professor began

Venable said nothing, but you could notice how her hand clenched on her cane. She slowly approached the man and looked into his eyes.

“It’s Miss Venable” she emphasized her name hitting her cane on the floor “I'll make it clear, so there will be no misunderstandings. I’m truly disgusted. Your explanations do not interest me at all. And you can be sure I’ll raise this issue during the meeting of the school board”

You didn’t expect her to be there. You didn't necessarily want her to hear what you said and you obviously didn’t know how to act after that. Normally you would come up with something, but Wilhemina gave you no time.

“Miss Y/L/N” she moved closer to you

Venable looked at you, but you didn't lower your eyes like your professor. It felt weird - almost as if her big brown eyes could look right through your soul, but you held her stare anyway.

That was unexpected. Her stare was like a weapon. It made everyone feel intimidated and thereby proved that Wilhemina was in power. Everyone always averted their eyes, except for you.

“Miss Y/N would you care to follow me to my office?” she asked, but by the tone she used you could tell it was an order not a question or request

“O-of course”

You followed Venable - counting all the tiles on the floor on your way, trying to compose yourself. Being alone with her had been something you wanted, but you weren’t really sure where that could go at that point.

“Sit down” she demanded and you did it immediately - this time not needed to be told twice. Wilhemina sat down as well and looked at you carelessly swiveling her cane.

“So…” you started after a moment of silence that for you seemed to be a bit too long

“So” she repeated doing her best to contain her amusement with your nervousness

You were looking everywhere, but her face. Yet even though you weren't looking at her, you could feel her eyes on you. You shifted feeling slightly insecure under her stern gaze.

“You are quite a unique specimen, aren’t you Miss Y/N?”

“I… I guess I am...” you said scratching the back of your head

“I must say, I’m pretty impressed with your gift of the gab”

“Well… I must say, I wasn’t quite expecting you to hear all that?”

“Why is that? I’m glad I did. Though, I really felt quite distressed learning some of those things”

“Umm… Does that mean I won’t be expelled or suspended?”

“Oh, of course not. We can’t let ourselves lose such precious students as you”

Your eyes widened. That definitely was the last thing you had expected to hear.

“Of course, it’s understandable if you won’t want to attend Mr Smith’s classes. And if that’s the case, I’d help you to prepare for the exam instead”

“Yes. That’d be great!” you exclaimed probably a bit too enthusiastically “I mean I’d really appreciate it, Miss Venable”

Wilhemina nodded. She didn’t show any kind of emotion, but she seemed pretty pleased with your response.

“Alright then. We shall start on Monday. Meet me at the library. 8 a.m. and don’t be late”

Going to the university wasn’t a dream come true for you - at least not at that time. You wanted to take a gap year and travel. You wanted to see the world, meet people, party, fall in love. Though your parents were against your idea. They basically made you go to the university and study law. They had already had everything planned for you. You were supposed to become a lawyer, just like your father and then work in his office. That for sure was a good plan, but nobody asked you if that was what you wanted. It obviously wasn’t and you hated it. All the lectures were boring and most of your professors were assholes. That’s why spending time at the university was like a torture for you. Though after you started your lessons with Wilhemina it became more bearable.

You weren’t wrong saying that there was more than Venable let people see. And whether she liked it or not, you noticed everything. Every little detail about her. From the way she moved or shift her cane to the changes in her voice tone when she spoke. You could see beyond the thick walls she had been building her whole life and you absolutely loved every second of getting to know her better. She was an incredibly intelligent, independent and strong woman. She always talked so passionately about all the things related to the subject she was teaching. And even though law wasn’t really her thing, she was doing a really good job teaching you and helping with all the stuff. In fact she was better than your other professor. You loved listening to her calm voice and it didn’t really matter what she was talking about. Just the fact it was no other than Wilhemina Venable made even the most boring thing interesting.

Wilhemina couldn’t deny that you were full of surprises. After everything she had been through in her life she didn’t think there was anything more that could make her feel astonished, but there you were. You were an eloquent and ambitious person. She knew that at once, but she had no idea how hot-tempered and sassy you could be. She got to see that side of you after some time, when you got more comfortable around her. But she didn’t mind. In fact your dry sense of humour, which perfectly matched hers, made her like you even more. You might have been sarcastic or even arrogant at times, though you never disrespected her in front of others. It’s not that other people did. They wouldn’t dare to disrespect her, because they were all afraid of the consequences. Though it was different with you. You were the one who truly respected her and you did that not because of fear, but because in your eyes she deserved that respect. And much to her dismay, it made Wilhemina feel different about you. There was just something in the way you rolled your eyes or made some snarky comment. Something that made her unable to get you out of her head. Wilhemina wasn’t sure whether she liked it or not or whether it was something good or not. The only thing she knew was that you, with no doubt, were the one who could push all her buttons down.

As you got to know her better - teasing Wilhemina became your new favourite hobby. She always knew what to say, except for those moments when she was with you. And you loved seeing her being frustrated or rolling her eyes or when she unsuccessfully tried to tell you off. She may try to seem mad, but you knew that deep inside she liked it as much as you did.

“Do you want me to be honest, Miss Venable?” you started one time when you were in the library

“No” Wilhemina said not averting her eyes from the book she was reading

“Well, I’ll say it anyway”

“I had no doubt you’d do that” she sighed

“Oh c’mon. You love listening to me and my theories, Willy” you used the nickname knowing it would draw her attention

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” she asked closing the book

“I’m sorry, I don’t take orders” you shrugged “In fact I barely take suggestions”

Wilhemina shook her head.

“You should have been born with a warning sign”

“Shit happens” you laughed at her comment

“Apparently”

“Anyways…”

“Y/N” she cut you off

“Yes?”

“From the bottom of my heart - I don’t care”

“Well, I respectfully don’t care that you don’t care”

It wasn’t possible to tame you and Wilhemina knew that, but she couldn’t let you see how much she actually liked it.

“I was wondering what kind of music you like” you started

Wilhemina looked at you with anticipation. You rarely dared to make any assumptions about her or if you did you didn’t share them with her. You were usually making fun of other people, so she was curious where your conversation was about to go.

“And?”

“Well, Miss Venable, you seem so calm on the outside, but I bet that behind closed door it’s all loud music, leather and BDSM”

Wilhemina stared at you in silence. Her brown eyes did not blink even once as she examined you. Her serious face expression caused a shiver run through your body. Did you cross some line?

“I… I mean you... just give that kind of vibes… I mean no offense…"

"No harm done"

"Okay. Good" you said looking at your hands instead of looking at Wilhemina as you’d normally do.

It didn’t happen often that you shy away or get insecure. Your silence was always very suspicious and it usually led to more snarky comments. But it was different that time and Wilhemina knew it. She knew that you got shy and she couldn’t help, but used it against you.

“You are right in fact”

“I am…?” your eyes widened

“Yes, except for the part with leather… I’m not a huge fan of latex you know”

You blinked completely dumbfounded. You couldn’t quite process her words and so you just stared at her.

“Oh my, did the great orator lose the ability to speak? Did I make a counselor-to-be speechless?”

“Yes, Miss Venable. You kind of did" you admitted not looking at her, feeling your cheeks slowly turning light pink. You rarely felt embarrassed or confused, so in that very moment Wilhemina felt kind of bad for you. A part of her was satisfied with succeeding and making you shut up, but there was also that bit of her that found you adorable. She hated seeing a frown of concern on your face, so she decided to act.

“Well” she stood up “You are fine Y/N. I’m just messing”

“So, it’s not true?”

Venable was about to say something, but she closed her mouth without making any sound. She was hesitant or couldn’t find the right words - you weren't sure which one. You kept looking at her as she was moving around the table, that the two of you were sitting at. She walked slowly, her heels and cane clicking on the floor making your knees feel weak.

“To some extent it is, I think” she said finally

“W-what do you mean?” you asked turning round to look at her

“Well” she placed her hand on your shoulder “I do like loud music” she continued playing with the strand of your hair “I listen to classical music mostly, but I like rock too...” she said, but stopped as she looked at your face.

Wilhemina didn’t know why she was telling you all that, but it felt right. And the smile on your face definitely was worth the effort.

“It’s actually a long story” she said after a long moment of silence

“Now, that you started you have to tell me. Please, please Miss Venable” you looked at her pleadingly

"I…Would you like a cup of tea, Miss Y/L/N?"

"With you Miss Venable I could drink anything" you joked, but you actually meant that. And you just kind of wished Wilhemina knew how happy you felt whenever you were with her.

Wilhemina had been through all of that before. At some point she realized that her heart beating faster every so often whenever you appeared wasn’t just a coincidence. Such kind of tune was known to everyone, including Venable. She was well aware that she wasn’t able to win that war, no matter how hard she tried. That’s why she hoped that particular tune would never play again - at least not in her heart. Yet you appeared in her life. The battle had begun the moment she met you. You were like a hurricane that rearranged her molecules. You were the twist in her sobriety that she wasn’t ready for. And there she was - fighting with herself. It was her and no one else burning in her own hell. She knew that fighting it was a lost cause, yet she still tried to play that game. And she was doing her best, so as not to get too carried away.

“Which part of following the rules you don’t get Y/N?” Wilhemina asked as you appeared in her office with the same enquiry for what felt like a hundredth time

“I understand everything. I’m not asking you to break the rules” you said innocently “I’m only asking to bend them a little” you added smiling

Wilhemina sighed shaking her head.

“Rules are rules” she stated not looking at you, knowing that if she did, she wouldn’t be able to remain cold anymore

“Oh, c’mon dude!” you said out of habit

That’s when she looked at you. Her eyes narrowed into a glare and as they met yours, you immediately realized your mistake. It wasn’t the first time that something like that slipped and you knew for a fact that Wilhemina hated it. She kept trying to cure you of using such kind of sentences, though apparently it didn’t go as well as she thought.

“I… I mean Miss Venable” you corrected yourself

She really wanted to play it cool and remain indifferent, but that pleading look on your face was too much to take. How she hated you for it.

“Why would I agree?” she shifted, sitting more comfortably in her chair

“Because… deep inside you have a heart of gold?”

Wilhemina raised her eyebrows.

“I’m not convinced” she was about to go back to whatever she was doing before you interrupted her

“Ugh… You’re so stubborn” you rolled your eyes

“I told you to stop doing that”

“Doing what?”

“Rolling your eyes at me, Miss Y/N”

“What? I… You never told me that?”

“Well, I’m telling you now”

“T-that’s… Ugh… Fine! I have better arguments”

“I’m all ears”

“First of all, our library needs renovation, but school obviously doesn’t have enough money. So, the plan is…”

Wilhemina kept listening to you, as you were explaining all your ideas to her. She tried hard not to show any kind of emotion, but since you appeared hiding and avoiding her feelings became rather difficult.

“Are you always such a smartass?” she asked unexpectedly

“No…” you answered a bit dumbfounded “Only when I want to impress you” you added shrugging

Your answer took her by surprise. She really wanted to hold it back, but couldn’t and chuckled. Her cute, genuine laugh made you smile.

“OH.MY.GOD. So, you do smile and laugh” you teased

It was the first time ever that Wilhemina expressed a kind of emotion other than anger, dissatisfaction or boredom. It was new, it was different and it was all because of you. Being around you she couldn’t suppress her emotion, but she was enjoying it more than she would ever admit. In fact, she liked herself better when she was with you. And she obviously couldn’t say ‘no’ to whatever you asked her for - no matter how ridiculous it was for her.

“Wow… Miss Venable smiled at me” you kept teasing “I’m flattered”

“I didn’t ask for your insight” she said not looking at you

"Don't worry. It hurts a little less each time" you smiled at how flustered she got

"Keep teasing and there will be no film night or whatever other shit you come up with" she said crossing her arms

"So you agree?" you beamed

"You wouldn't leave me alone if I said 'no'" she answered playing with her pen, trying her best to focus on it instead of you

"Thank you!" you moved quickly and before Wilhemina had a chance to comprehend what was actually going on, you kissed her on her cheek. Her eyes widened. That unexpected move made her feel a thousand of butterflies in her stomach and much to her dismay she didn't know how to get rid of that weird feeling.

"I swear to God, Y/N, I'll strangle you"

"Is that a promise?" you bit your lip

It took everything in Wilhemina to remain unimpressed and didn't let her feelings show.

"You're walking on thin ice, Miss Y/N" her voice was calm and the usual grave expression was back, but you could notice how the corner of her mouth twitched a little as she spoke

"I'm aware of it. That's professional risk, Miss Venable" you said with pretended dignity at which Wilhemina rolled her eyes

"Don't you have somewhere else to go?"

"Perhaps, I do"

"Then perhaps you should go"

"Perhaps I should" you said, but kept standing there and looking at her

"Out! Now! Before I lose my patience and decide to throw one of the books at you"

"Umm..." You tilted your head to one side "You wouldn't do that. You like those books too much"

You were right - she wouldn't do that, but not because of her love to the literature. She wouldn't do that, because she liked you. She liked you more than her books, in fact, and hurting you was the last thing on her mind.

"Okay, I'm leaving" you said finally

"Good" she nodded

"Oooh, one more thing" you stopped at the door and turned round to look at her one more time

"Yes?"

"You have a beautiful smile, Willy" you said and left not waiting for her response

As you closed the door Wilhemina sighed. She stopped holding herself back. She touched her cheek and a wide smile appeared on her face at the thought of your kiss.

"You'll be the death of me, Y/N" she said to herself

Wilhemina was used to being on her own. She devoted herself to her career and didn’t feel like anything in her life was wrong or missing. In fact she was convinced that everything was in place. She never wanted to need someone ever again, but that changed when she met you. Wilhemina knew it. She could feel it, though she still couldn’t accept it.

You were everything she had been avoiding. You were loud, you were talking almost constantly, you couldn’t sit still even for a minute, you were annoying, stubborn, arrogant, sarcastic and funny and charming… She tried to hate you, but it wasn’t possible. You had awaken something inside her. Something that caused her walls to tumble down. You were the only one, who had such effect on her and she truly wanted you in all possible ways. Yet at the same time Wilhemina was scared. She had had her heart broken before, because she had let herself be led astray. She was afraid of getting burnt again.

Besides that she believed that being with you wasn’t possible. Why would you even like her? She was a horrible person. She could be really mean at times and was capable of truly anything. Ever since she had got her heart broken she treated people more like punching bags. She could cut them into pieces with her words alone and that was exactly why she was on her own.

Wilhemina never truly gave a damn about her bad reputation. She didn’t care what people thought or said about her. But since you appeared in her life she was, in fact, constantly worrying about what you may think when and if you found out about certain things she had done. She often wondered how she had became so obnoxious. Or what was it with you that made her act different. She didn’t mean to care so much. She didn’t mean to be lenient with you. She didn’t mean to enjoy your company. And she definitely didn’t mean to fall for you. But she couldn’t help it and so she hated herself for loving you.

A film night at the university was one of your many ideas that Wilhemina agreed to. She didn’t like it, but for the sake of you, she couldn’t say ‘no’. Though she made it clear, that it was just a one-off deal and you wouldn’t be allowed to do something like that ever again. Her statement didn’t really bother you. Wilhemina always said things like that, but then changed her mind because of you. You knew she had a soft spot for you and you often wondered how it would be to be with her. Yet you didn’t dare to do anything, afraid of scaring her off or losing her trust.

Wilhemina, of course, couldn’t and didn’t want to show how much she enjoyed seeing you so excited or listening to you talking about that one particular film you chose, so she made much of an effort to hide it and kept complaining. Though you were way too happy to care about it. You completely focused on organizing everything, so that everyone, including you and Wilhemina could enjoy it. You put a lot of effort into that, that’s why you were a bit upset when Wilhemina said nothing and kept ignoring you for almost whole evening. She seemed pretty wired, so you didn’t push. You tried your best to give her space, though you failed miserable as the movie that you had chosen ended and another one, picked by one of your friend, turned out to be a horror.

You hated horror movies and you never watched them on your own. But there you were forced to watch. It wasn’t even the middle of the film and you already couldn’t take it. Wilhemina, on the other hand, seemed completely unmoved. She just sat there and kept watching without any particular expression on her face. Though she did show some emotion, as unexpectedly, you hid your face in her arm - gripping her hand and clinging to her like a child. You were close. Very close. And Wilhemina wasn’t ready for it. She didn’t like when people were that close to her. She knew you didn’t do it on purpose, but couldn’t help and got tensed or maybe even a bit mad.

“Y/N, could you move out of my space?”

“I… Sorry” you moved immediately

You internally cursed yourself for acting like that, especially around Venable. You didn’t want to make her feel bad, but you knew you did. You tried to focus on the movie or rather on not freaking out because of it. Though it turned out to be too much for you. You couldn’t keep watching it and you definitely couldn’t hide in Wilhemina’s arms, so you decided it’d be better for you to leave.

Wilhemina watched as you grabbed your things and left without any explanation. At first she was sure you went to the toilet or somewhere, but more and more time passed and you didn’t come back. She began to worry and felt a bit guilty. Without thinking much she stood up and went after you. She slowly wandered through the corridors, wondering what she should do when she finds you. Was it her fault that you left? Should she have not acted the way she did? And why did she even do that? She was longing for your touch. She wanted you close, but then she pushed you away. Wilhemina carried on scolding herself for her behaviour until she found you in the library. You were sitting on the desk and looking out of the window.

“Y/N?” she called your name closing the door

You jumped at the sudden sound.

“Oh my God” you placed your hand on your heart

“I didn’t mean to scare” she said worriedly

“It’s fine”

“Are you alright?” Wilhemina asked approaching you

“Yeah… I just don’t like horror movies” you shrugged

Venable nodded stopping right next to you. There was a moment of silence, that Wilhemina needed to think through her next move.

“So…” she started

“So” you repeated, remembering that your very first conversation was almost the same. The only difference was that then you were the one who were nervous back then.

“Would you mind if I stay here with you?”

“No, Miss Venable”

“Okay”

You could say something was bothering her, but you knew Wilhemina wasn’t the one to talk about her feelings, so you let it be. You said nothing, just kept looking at her trying to figure out what was going on inside her head.

Wilhemina stared at an old bookcase in front of her. She was lost in her thoughts - recalling her past, wondering how she always ended up making bad decisions, making the people, who cared about her sad or how they always left her. She knew that she was mostly bad and kept pretending, because she didn’t want people to know her. Yet, somehow, you managed to break through her defense and you made her someone new. You took her self control and made her forget to play her role. She loved that feeling, but still she was worried, afraid of making yet another bad decision.

Venable could feel your eyes on her. You were staring all the time, so she turned to face you.

“What?” she asked coldly

“Nothing” you smiled to yourself and averted your eyes

“It’s not nothing. Tell me”

“I… You are just… so perfect”

Wilhemina looked at you. There was some kind of fear mixed with shock in her eyes.

“Trust me Y/N, I am not”

“Why would you say such stupid thing about yourself?”

“Just look at me...”

“I’m looking at you”

“And what do you see? For people I’m just a horrible, heartless woman… And my disability…”

“For God’s sake, if someone is truly disabled in our university, it’s professor Smith, who suffers from the lack of working brain cells. You’re fine Willy. You’re so very fine that it hurts when you say such things about yourself”

“You’re too precious to know what I’ve done in my lifetime… and, selfishly, I’ve grown to enjoy your company so much that it would tear me apart if I lose you over my past”

“Stop it. You are amazing. You are the most powerful, clever and beautiful woman I’ve ever known. You’re the best thing I’ve seen in quite some time, Willy…” you said biting your lip

“I swear to God, if you call me that one more time…”

“Then what, Willy?” you asked arching your eyebrow playfully

“Then I can’t be held responsible for my actions” she said and kissed you

You smiled against her lips. She was about pulling back, but you held her in place to kiss her back. And for a moment she forgot to worry.

Tag list: @midnight-lestrange, @natasha-danvers, @stopkillinglilyrabe

#wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #AHS #ahs imagine #ahs apocalypse #sarah paulson imagine

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sometimestxt · 4 years

Text

Five Times Loid and Yor Almost Kiss, and One Time They Actually Do

Fandom: SPY x FAMILY Pairings / Characters: Loid x Yor / Loid, Yor, Yuri, Frankie, Anya, Henry Henderson Summary: Or, the Forgers try their best to maintain the farce.

Word Count: 4,321 Read on ao3.

0001

Despite his recent demotion from housemaster to simple homeroom teacher, Henry Henderson was wholly dedicated to the success of Eden Academy. As such, he made an effort to continue his customary patrols around campus grounds to ensure that everything was in proper and elegant condition.

Henderson paused during his rounds as he spotted a familiar couple standing outside of the main building, alongside housemaster Murdoch Swan.

The Forgers, he quickly realized.

Henderson moved swiftly, finding a hiding place within earshot around the corner of the building. It was not a particularly regal action, he knew, but the teacher was curious as to how the Forgers would handle Swan this time.

“What brings you here?” he heard Swan sneer.

“We’re dropping off documents for our daughter’s enrollment,” came Mr Forger’s calm response.

“Oh, your daughter. The one who cried at the littlest thing—truly, a disgrace to Eden Academy.”

Henderson glanced around the corner at those words. He saw the way Ms Forger’s hands clenched and unclenched into fists, yet she remained silent. It had become increasingly obvious to Henderson that Swan was simply trying to rile up the couple as he prattled off more rude remarks—most likely in an attempt to cause a big enough scene to justify rescinding their daughter’s acceptance into the academy.

How inelegant.

The Forgers, however, seemed to be taking his comments in stride. They evidently had enough elegance to pick up on Swan’s scheming.

“And Ms Forger, it must be so difficult knowing that your daughter will always prefer her first mother over you,” Swan continued, his voice dripping in contempt. “The way she still cries over her.”

Henderson felt the sudden urge to punch Swan in the face once more.

“Master Swan,” Mr Forger cut in, steely, “we really must be on our way.”

Swan ignored his interjection, choosing to direct his attention to his wife instead. “Does your husband prefer her as well? He won’t even hold your hand—won’t even kiss you, will he?”

Swan laughed, a harsh sound.

“It’s really none of your business,” Ms Forger gritted out.

He laughed again. “Why won’t he just kiss you then? Then I won’t make it any more of my business.”

At that, Mr Forger took a step closer to his wife. His arm moved and he cupped her cheek with his right hand, then tilted her chin up towards him. He leaned in, close.

Henderson couldn’t stop the scandalized gasp that escaped his lips. Such a public display of affection, on school grounds? How inelegant!

Surely he couldn’t be wrong about the Forgers. They had proved themselves wonderfully on the day of their application interview, after all. He was willing to watch this through to the end, to give them the benefit of the doubt yet again. Surely they wouldn’t disappoint.

When Mr Forger pulled back, he raised his hand to display something. A handkerchief, Henderson quickly deduced. On it, a streak of ruby red marked the pure white of the fabric.

“Sorry, Yor, I had noticed that your lipstick smudged,” he apologized, tone soft. He elegantly pocketed the handkerchief, then turned to face Swan once again.

Though he couldn’t see his face clearly, Henderson was almost certain Mr Forger was shooting daggers at Swan with his eyes. His voice was cold as he stated, “I have no obligation to make my wife uncomfortable to appease you.”

Swan sputtered indignantly in response.

“Now, we really must be going.” Mr Forger ended the conversation there, grabbing his wife’s hand as they swiftly walked away.

Henderson couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips as he watched the couple depart.

Truly, the Forgers were the embodiment of elegance.

0010

If there was one thing that Yuri was certain about his sister, it was that she deserved the world. And so much more, to be completely honest.

She had, after all, done everything for him when they were children. She had worked hard to maintain normality in their fragmented family after everything had fallen apart. She picked up the pieces when they had nothing more than each other and their broken smiles. She was, frankly, everything he had, the only person who could still allow him to feel something as simplistic as childish joy—something he had since long thrown away for her.

Loid Forger, Yuri pointedly decided, was not the world. Sure, the man seemed to be smart, well-articulated, and well put together. Sure, he was also a talented cook, and he probably made a good amount of money too based off of their living space, and perhaps he was devilishly handsome as well (in a completely objective way; Yuri was objective like that)—but he was not good enough for Yor.

Yuri couldn’t help glaring at his sister’s husband as he sat in the living room of their shared home, nursing a bottle of wine. He was here to evaluate the man’s worthiness; likely a fruitless endeavor, because he settled on his conclusion within seconds.

His sister was incredibly kind and despite her monstrous strength, a delicate woman! She deserved someone who would look after and protect her, someone who had her best interests in mind, someone who would move heaven and earth for her. Loid struck him more as the type who would move just one or the other, not both. In his completely objective opinion.

Drunkenly, he demanded to see some intimacy between the couple, to prove that it was real. To prove that she was really, truly happy. It made perfect sense in his inebriated stupor.

Yuri quietly observed as the two sat near each other, whispering soft words to one another. They leaned in, their faces moving in for a kiss. Their lips were close, almost touching. He was filled with dread as he watched his sister—his family—being taken away from him in front of his very eyes.

He wasn’t ready, he realized. He was still just a little boy in a broken home clinging so dearly to his older sister

But the fact that she had been so clearly smitten with her husband, hurtling her own brother across their living room as he darted forward to pull them apart, just so she could kiss Loid, had his own world turning upside down. It became apparent that he hadn’t properly considered the extent of Yor’s feelings.

Maybe he wasn’t ready yet, but she was.

Nobody would be good enough for his sister, he knew.

He tainted his hands in blood for her, after all; gave up a life of innocence for her to live one of normalcy and happiness following their crooked childhood.

Maybe if Loid could give her even a semblance of the happy family that they were, that she so deserved, he would allow it.

Until then, he would continue to dye himself in red to protect her everyday life.

0011

“And that was all I was able to figure out, given the timing,” Frankie stated. Twilight was quiet, a contemplative look on his face. As they stood together in silence, outside a cafe in the city’s core downtown, the everyday bustle of the lunchtime rush continued around them. Sometimes it was easiest to hide in the open, when you could see everyone yet no one at the same time.

“Man, I thought you’d be more concerned, to be honest,” Frankie eventually remarked.

“Give me a moment. I’m just thinking. They’ve been stretching me thin with all this work lately, but I couldn’t turn down this project either,” Twilight answered. “Have you considered looking into—”

“—Loid?” a familiar voice interrupted. The two men stopped and turned towards the sound of the voice.

Frankie saw the way his friend’s entire posture flipped in a second and how his mouth quirked upwards into a fake smile at the sight of his fake wife. As expected of a high-class agent like Twilight.

“Hello, Yor,” Twilight greeted. “I wasn’t expecting to see you around here.”

“I was just passing by; my boss sent me on an errand,” she explained, an amicable (genuine, Frankie noted) smile on her face. She turned to Frankie next, the smile still on her lips. “Thank you for always lending us a hand with Anya.”

He cracked a grin. “No worries. Loid’s one of my best friends; I’m more than happy to lend him a helping hand. And Anya’s a lovely little girl too, so it’s always a pleasure.”

Twilight wasn’t the only one who could pull off a fake persona at the drop of a hat, he mused to himself.

“I’m happy to hear that,” Yor beamed. “Anyway, it was good seeing you again, but I should probably get going now.”

Twilight tipped his hat at her and Frankie noticed him say something, but he didn't hear what. Then he saw her lean in close, so close it almost looked like a kiss—until she turned her face away at the last second and instead, whispered something in her fake husband’s ear. Her own ears were flushed red as she pulled away and bid them both a quick goodbye before hurrying off.

Once she was out of earshot, Frankie turned to look at Twilight, an eyebrow raised questioningly as he asked, “What was all that about?”

“She told me that she likes cheese,” he deadpanned, evidently unfazed by her impromptu declaration.

“How romantic,” he snorted. “That was a terrible attempt at a goodbye kiss.”

“I suspect she’s become more conscious about how we’re perceived as a married couple due to some recent events, but actions like these aren’t necessary. Not that we need to prove anything to you, anyway.” He frowned. “Besides, I’m not trying to bring feelings into this—”

“You never do,” Frankie interjected.

“—But she might.”

He blinked. “And why would you care if she does?”

The spy took a second longer to reply than usual, but it was still a noticeable enough second for Frankie—”I don’t.”

“Oh, that’s a cold way to treat your wife,” he said wryly, then straightened up. “Well, that’s how it should be anyway—but just a heads up, acting like shy schoolkids as a supposedly married couple doesn’t do much for you guys.”

“I’m well aware, but she’s not trained for this.” Twilight let out a sigh; Frankie knew that partnering up with outsiders had been a pain point for the agent since the very start of the mission.

“Then is it really so bad if she feels something a little real for you? Isn’t that good for the story?” he inquired. “That’s how it’s always been for your other… ‘relationships.’”

“… No, you’re right; it’s all one-sided. It normally wouldn’t be a problem.” He raised a hand to his chin, a thoughtful expression on his face. “It’d certainly be more convincing, at the very least.”

Normally, Frankie wanted to repeat, but didn't.

He let out a sigh, reaching out to place a hand on Twilight’s shoulder. The agent moved, shrugging him off almost immediately. Frankie continued, “Well, you can’t say I didn’t say anything.”

“I know what I’m doing and how to approach this,” Twilight said, voice steely, “and I’ll see this through to the very end.”

“I’m not doubting your capabilities, y’know,” Frankie replied, and left it at that.

Yet there was a part of him that still wondered.

0100

Yor entered the apartment at four in the morning as quietly as she could. She was thankful for the fact that she and Loid had separate bedrooms; it made slipping in and out of their home during the night so much easier for her job.

She tiptoed through the living room but abruptly stopped once she noticed Loid, fast asleep on their couch. She frowned.

Long hours again with his patients, she realized, belatedly remembering that he had yet to return home by the time she left for her own work—belatedly remembering how she had tucked Anya into bed earlier that evening and assured her that Loid would be back soon.

Again, it made things so much easier for her like this.

Still, she couldn’t help but admire how hard he worked for his clients—for Anya. It reminded her a bit of herself when she was younger, working herself to literal bone and blood for Yuri.

Her feet moved on their own, leading her further into the living room until she was squatted next to her sleeping partner. She watched the soft rise and fall of his chest, listened to his quiet breaths. He must have been exhausted if he couldn’t even make it to his bedroom. Their couch wasn’t nearly long enough for him to be comfortable; his feet were propped up awkwardly at the other end, and that atrocious sleeping posture would probably lead to a sore neck in the morning.

In the silence of the night, Yor found herself studying his features. It wasn’t often she had this opportunity; after all, their entire marriage wasn’t real. There was no reason to ever get so personal like this, not unless they were keeping up appearances in public.

There were bags under his eyes and his hair was unkempt, she noted, nothing like how it usually was during the day. He was fatigued, no doubt about it. Despite everything, Yor found herself smiling.

He was a good father to Anya. He worked tirelessly for his daughter, she could tell.

Yor wanted to do her best for Anya, too. She knew how hard it could be to lose a mother—to have a family of just one other. Even if it was for only a while, she wanted to give Anya a happy family. She wanted Anya to live the happy, normal life she never really had; the happy, normal life she worked so hard to give to Yuri.

A happy family with a happily in love mother and father.

She shifted slightly, her head tilting forward.

Loid stirred in his sleep then and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

Suddenly, she was acutely aware of how close she had gotten to him. She felt her face warm as she swiftly pulled away, almost stumbling on her feet.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

She was tired too—tired because it was four in the morning, tired because she just expended all of her energy on her latest assignment. She evidently wasn’t thinking clearly, and she definitely hadn’t just been leaning in to leave a kiss on his lips, not while he was asleep. And if she had been, it was only because she was tired from work!

Yor straightened her back.

Right. Her mission was done. She needed to go clean up now, needed to scrub off the dried blood from her hands before the sun rose. She hurried to her bedroom, quickly discarded her bloodied clothes and washed up before crawling into bed.

She tried not to dwell too much on what had almost just happened, tried not to think about what it would have felt like.

It wasn’t long until her exhaustion took over and she drifted to sleep, dreaming of a simple happy family.

0101

“Thanks for coming again, Loid,” said Yor as the couple walked into her latest corporate party.

“Of course,” was his simple reply.

“Honestly, it’s not like Yuri is watching over us this time, so I don’t think you needed to come for this one,” she murmured, voice low.

“If I hadn’t come, people would talk,” he answered in a similarly low tone. “They’d ask questions.”

Yor pursed her lips in contemplation. “Well, it’s probably fine for you to miss out on one or two of these parties. You’ve been pulling long hours at work, after all.”

“These aren’t frequent enough that it’d be something to worry about,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand, briefly recalling the first work party they had attended together as part of their original arrangement. “It’s better to just avoid any questions outright if we can. It was my slip up in the first place, after all.”

She let out a light laugh. “I guess you’re right. You’ve really thought this through, Loid.”

He blinked. “Of course I have. Besides, it’s only fair I keep up my end of our agreement. You spend more time with Anya than I do at these kinds of events.”

He didn’t want a repeat of what had occurred with Yuri. No more questions, just a perfect couple. A perfect family.

“I like spending time with Anya,” she hummed.

His lips quirked upwards into a small smile. “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

“Anyway, let’s try to enjoy ourselves!” Yor beamed. The couple made their way around the party, exchanging greetings with each of Yor’s coworkers. Simple small talk was shared, and Twilight spoke vaguely of work as a psychiatrist. When Camilla arrived, she threw around a few pointed remarks before trotting off with her boyfriend in a huff. Time passed quickly despite all of the mundane conversations; he was accustomed to attending meaningless parties for the sake of his missions.

With the party now in full swing, Twilight made note of how the dance floor was filling up. Upon inspection, it appeared to be occupied primarily by couples in romantic relationships—so the next move was clear.

“Yor, would you like to dance?” he asked, holding up his hand to her.

A light blush dusted her cheeks at the suggestion. Still, she grasped his hand in hers. “I’m not much of a dancer, though.”

Twilight politely excused themselves from the small group of partygoers they had been speaking to. He offered Yor a reassuring smile as he led her onto the dance floor, saying, “Just follow my lead.”

She nodded and gave him an unsure smile of her own in return.

She was surprisingly good on her feet, however, able to match each of his steps. He, of course, had perfected multiple types of ballroom dancing over the years—from the waltz to the foxtrot to the quickstep. A good leader was key to ballroom dancing, but it was still imperative that the partner could skillfully follow.

Yor did as much, following every move with precision throughout the entire song.

On the final beat, Twilight leaned in close, his cheek pressed next to hers. He could feel her breath on his neck, warm.

This was when he would normally sweep his date off their feet, seduce them away into the quiet of the night and whisper sweet nothings into their ear until they started whispering everything—secrets, speculations, carefully concealed truths.

But this was Yor—his partner, unlike every other woman he used as a necessary pawn—so instead, he strategically angled their faces in such a way that he knew would make it look as though they were kissing. Yor let out a squeak as he shifted their posture, but still maintained the position.

After counting to five, they separated.

Twilight flashed her his most perfect smile—people were watching, after all—and she mumbled something incoherent in response, her face still glowing a soft pink.

He thought back to Frankie, thought about feelings. What feelings? There was nothing to worry about.

He was an expert.

And Yor was—

“—Wow,” she breathed, “wow. You’re a really good dancer, Loid.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “The waltz isn’t very difficult.”

“Still! It was impressive,” she reiterated. As if to prove her point, a coworker approached the two to compliment them on their dance. Soon they were dragged into another group conversation, and the rest of the night continued without a hitch.

Another successful task accomplished, Twilight concluded as they left the venue together, arm in arm; they were the perfect couple.

0110

“Becky told me that boys have cooties,” Anya declared as she and Yor sat at the dinner table, waiting for Loid to finish plating. Loid had pointedly removed Yor from any and all duties pertaining to dinner despite her protests and sulking, citing her most recent kitchen disaster as reason enough.

Loid let out a noncommittal grunt in response as he moved all of the food onto the table.

“She said that boys are stinky, too,” Anya continued as Loid pulled up a seat next to her and across from Yor. “Mama, is that why you don’t wanna kiss Papa? Because he’s stinky? Cooties?”

He coughed.

“Eh? Oh, no. No, Papa isn’t stinky!” Yor waved her hands around animatedly as though that somehow helped her point. Loid gave her a weary look.

Anya made a face. “Well, Papa and Mama still haven’t kissed yet! Is it cooties, then?”

“No, Anya, it’s not cooties.” He sighed.

“That’s what someone with cooties would say,” she huffed.

Yor let out a soft laugh and he sighed again.

“I’m not gonna do my homework until Papa and Mama kiss!” Anya suddenly exclaimed.

At that proclamation, something seemed to switch on within Loid. His back straightened and it was almost as though he was on high alert. “Anya. Anya, you need to do your homework. If you don’t, you’ll fall behind in class. We can’t have you falling behind in class, Anya.”

She pouted in response and defiantly shook her head.

“Anya,” he started, voice stern.

Yor coughed into her fist then, drawing his attention.

Her voice was low as she asked, “Well, should we…? I mean, it’s important for Anya to do her work. And it’s just… just a kiss. It’s something we should be able to do.”

Her cheeks flushed at the very suggestion.

He frowned. “We shouldn’t spoil her by following through with these kinds of silly demands.”

Yor paused as though she wanted to say something about his remark. She didn’t.

Eventually, she spoke, “You’re right. But Anya’s really pouting there.”

She tilted her head to the little girl in question, her cheeks puffed in rebellion.

“She can pout as much as she wants, but we don’t need to do this. She’ll drop it eventually, like she always does,” he reiterated.

A pause. His brow furrowed as though he was deep in thought. “Probably.”

He looked back at Anya then and saw her reaching across the table, her hands gesturing towards him.

“It’s rude to have your arms on the table, Anya,” he instinctively reprimanded.

“But this is important, Papa,” she stated confidently. She clenched and unclenched her hands in an opening motion, trying to get Loid to do the same. He eventually complied, opening up his fist. On his palm, Anya confidently traced the shape of a circle, then pressed her index finger into his skin a couple of times over.

“There, now you’re safe! Becky taught me how to do a cootie shoot, too. So Mama doesn’t need to worry anymore.” She pulled back, looking especially proud of herself.

“Wow, Anya! That’s amazing!” Yor clapped her hands together in praise.

She beamed, “Now Mama and Papa can kiss.”

Loid let out another sigh. He opened his mouth to speak again, but was promptly interrupted by a familiar theme song blaring loudly from the television in the living room. Anya whipped her head around at the sound, her eyes wide.

“Anya, you haven’t eaten dinner yet,” Loid reminded, his tone exasperated.

“Nooo, I don’t want to miss Spy Wars,” she whined in response.

He gave her a look.

“I’ll do my homework, Papa, I promise! After Spy Wars!”

Again, something seemed to switch on within Loid. He stood up from his seat then and moved to scoop Anya up into his arms. “Only for tonight. Then you’re doing your homework after dinner. No complaints, and no more cootie shots.”

“Promise!” Anya nodded her head rapidly, all worries about cooties and stinky boys suddenly forgotten.

He exchanged a glance with Yor then; she smiled knowingly.

Loid sighed for the umpteenth time that evening as he headed into the living room with Anya.

After Spy Wars, dinner, and another valiant attempt at fractions, Anya was tucked snugly into bed.

Standing in the hallway, their home felt a lot quieter now that Anya was asleep. Sometimes she truly felt like the life of their makeshift family, loud and playful and full of energy.

But the quiet was important, too. They needed their rest—deserved it, given how hectic it had been earlier in the evening.

Loid opened his mouth then, ready to wish Yor a good night.

“I don’t think you’re stinky, Loid,” Yor suddenly declared before he could speak.

He closed his mouth. Opened it again. “I don’t think you’re stinky either?”

“Good! I mean, thank you! I mean, that’s not what I actually mean!” she exclaimed.

He cocked an eyebrow. “What are you talking about, Yor?”

“I… I don’t think you’re stinky, and I don’t think you have cooties either,” she repeated.

He nodded his head, encouraging her to continue.

“So, this is…,” she trailed off, her cheeks warming. “This is… just how it is.”

She took a step closer, then another, until they stood almost touching.

“Yor, I really don’t know what you—”

Grabbing the collar of his shirt, she pulled him down towards her. Her mouth pressed against his, a gentle, brief kiss. Her lips were soft and she smelled sweet, Loid noticed with startling realization. His hand twitched, almost moving to rest on her hip until he consciously stopped himself.

Releasing her grip on his shirt, she took a step back. Her face was completely red and her eyes were directed at the floor with sudden interest.

He blinked once, twice.

Before he could say a word, Yor stuttered a high-pitched “good night!” and abruptly rushed into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her with almost enough force to rip it off its hinges.

He stood there.

Looked at her bedroom door, then his.

Stood a bit longer.

The hardwood under his feet felt different as he eventually made his way into his own room.

That night as he laid in bed, he speculated over the 28 possible explanations for her actions.

#spy x family #spyxfamily #agent twilight #loid forger #yor briar #fanfic #finally finished after months in wip #fake fam real feels

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biaswreckingfics · 4 years

Text

No Limits: Part 2

Author: biaswreckingfics

Genre: Mafia AU - Warnings? Everything that goes on in a Mafia AU

Word Count: 3.5k

Previous Chapter

Chanyeol stared at him as he spoke with a dull expression, and once Junmyeon finished speaking he says what they all secretly fear, “If the Baem has him, then he’s already dead.”

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You knew it! You knew Sehun didn't die in that explosion. Brief relief swept through you at the thought of Sehun still being alive and it took all of your willpower to not bounce in your seat with happiness, but it was quickly crushed by Chanyeol's "he's already dead" attitude.

If the Baem had Sehun, then they had to act quickly before something really bad does happen. Giving up and thinking he was already dead wasn't going to help anyone, especially Sehun.

"While we're on the subject of the Baem..." Junmyeon trails off while looking at you. You knew where he was going with this by the way his eyes slightly narrowed.

Don't you fucking dare, Junmyeon, you angrily think, trying to shove the thought from your head to his.

"Now that we assume Sehun is still alive and most likely being held captive by the Baem, I don't want you to be involved in this anymore, Y/N. It's way more dangerous than we originally anticipated."

"Bullshit," You immediately counter, stealing yourself for the same argument the two of you always seem to have. "It was always dangerous. Nothing has changed. We wanted to destroy the Baem before and now we'll destroy them and get Sehun."

Junmyeon purses his lips before leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. "We don't have time for an argument. I don't want you involved. In fact, I don't even want you sitting at this table right now."

"I don't give a fuck what you want, Junmyeon. You're not the only one with a say. If the other EXO members don't want me involved, then fine, but all you're trying to do is play the big brother role that you're already a decade too late for," You snap at him.

Chanyeol snorts at your response before looking at Junmyeon and standing up from his lean against the wall. "And you tell me I need to get my shit together. How about following your own advice, leader."

As Chanyeol walks out of the room, the sad look on Junmyeon's face immediately makes you want to take back what you said, but you were so sick and tired of having this fight every couple of days that you couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry, Jun, but I'm not going to change my mind... I deserve the chance to avenge mom and dad and also get revenge for myself... and I'm not going to have this argument with you anymore."

Your brother held your stare as he thought out everything silently. He looked around the room at his men and took in their expressions before sighing.

"What do 'the other members of EXO' think?" He asks with a slight edge to his voice.

You inwardly cringe as you realize just how much your words had hurt your brother. That wasn't what you wanted. He was one of the last people you wanted to hurt, but his lack of faith in you hurt you also, so you would continue to stand your ground.

"When Jisoo and Minhyuk died, the Elders took away my right to avenge their deaths, and I still hate them for that to this day..." Baekhyun slowly starts as he stares at the table in front of him. The faded pain still clear in his voice until he shakes it off and looks up at your brother. "You were there with me, Junmyeon. You saw what that did to me. Do you want to do that to your sister?"

Your brother was clearly affected by Baekhyun's words as he thought back to that time. It showed in the way he tilted his head up toward the ceiling, closed his eyes, and clenched his jaw.

"She's already come really far in her training. If she keeps it up, I don't see any reason she shouldn't be involved," Jongin adds his opinion.

Junmyeon nods a little before looking back down at the members and sliding his chair back. "I'll take your opinions into consideration. Meeting dismissed."

You silently watch as he abruptly stands up from his chair and walks out of the room, not sending a single glance your way. When the rest of the members quietly get up and leave without a passing word to each other, you feel a small piece of your heart break.

When you first came here, the group was lively and rambunctious. There was laughter and noise all throughout the day and night, and the near silence that was now a constant in the compound was deafening.

You feel a sudden poke in your arm and look over at Baekhyun, who had apparently stayed behind with you. He searches your eyes trying to figure out what you're feeling.

"What's up?" He finally asks before placing his elbow on the arm of the chair and resting his chin on his hand, waiting to hear your thoughts.

Sighing, you angle your body towards him and lean your head against the back of the seat, feeling completely comfortable with sharing your innermost thoughts with him. "I'm tired of everyone walking around on eggshells. How are they supposed to be a group when they can hardly even communicate?"

"When are you going to learn to not take on everyone else's problems?" He asks you softly.

"Probably never..."

He lets out a small laugh that causes your heart to flutter, and you stiffen. It didn't escape your notice that he was starting to affect you more and more, but you couldn't bring yourself to think about that right now. There was too much going on at the moment.

"How about, for now, you focus on kicking Jongin's ass in training? We'll worry about the rest later."

Sehun's POV

He had fallen into the soldier role well, and as it turns out, he was a quick learner.

The Baem had been giving him small tasks and testing out his abilities in all areas. They discovered he was apparently good with weapons and explosives. Like really good. Like Sehun almost scared himself good.

When the Baem discovered his talent, they kept him strictly with their weapons unit, and the more Sehun played around with things, the more small pieces of his memory came back.

He remembered how to handle wiring and how to build certain explosives, he remembered how to properly care for every gun he came across, and he was remembering other things as well... like his dislike for all the easy girls who were always around and throwing themselves at him. He remembered that he preferred classier girls who respected themselves, and for some reason when he thought of an example, you were the one that flashed into his mind.

All that did was cause him more confusion. Why were you the one that he thought of? Because he had recently seen you? It was just another thing to add to his growing list of questions, and with the memories he gained, that list was getting quite long.

Something else he thought was odd was the fact that he didn't recognize any of his members. As the other things started coming back, he thought memories about his members would come back too, but they weren't. These men still felt completely foreign to him.

On top of that, they consistently kept asking him questions about EXO, and it was really starting to fucking irritate him. How many times did he have to say he couldn't remember? He understood they were their rivals, but they never even asked him questions about the Baem, just EXO.

It almost seemed like they were testing him, but why?

Y/N's POV

It had been a few days since the meeting, and it seemed like the tension in the house had gotten even worse. It felt like you were all waiting for the other shoe to drop, like whatever was holding the last of you together was going to break any day now.

It was almost like everyone was backtracking instead of trying to move on and heal, and things with your brother had not been good at all. Neither of you had attempted any communication since your last argument. Junmyeon would often lock himself in his office and would hardly come out, and you tried to hang out in your room a lot because you were just tired. Tired of all of it.

A quick knock sounded on your door before Jongin peeked in. "Time for training, let's go."

You sigh at the thought of another day of having your ass handed to you, but jump up from your bed and follow him down the hall because you knew this would be the perfect opportunity to ask him about one of the many things that had been on your mind lately.

"Okay, fine, but I want to talk on the way."

Now it was Jongin's turn to sigh because he knew exactly what you wanted to talk about. Minseok.

"I don't regret killing Minseok's father." He immediately says, causing you to slow down your steps and look over at him while he continued. "I'm glad I was the one to do it."

"I wasn't going to ask that..." You slowly say, now completely stopped in the middle of the hallway. "I just wanted to know if the two of you will be okay..."

Jongin awkwardly comes to a stop beside you. "...Oh..."

"What's on your mind, Jongin?"

He turns to face you and searches your eyes almost with a slight panic. "I think there's something wrong with me..."

Your heart jumps a little at his words and how his entire demeanor crumbled before you. The way he broke eye contact and swallowed while looking down the hallway immediately put you on edge.

You knew Jongin was holding in a lot of emotions. He didn't often like to be perceived as "weak" no matter how many times you told him emotions didn't make him weak. Instead, he liked to drown his sadness and pain in girls and alcohol, but you wanted to try to find a way to help him past that, and right now, Jongin was giving you an unusual glimpse into his vulnerability.

"Why do you say that?"

"...Because I felt happiness when I killed him. Relief... You're not supposed to feel happy when you end someone's life, and it's not the first time. I felt the same way about my stepdad."

Everything Jongin was saying made sense. In a normal world, killing people was a horrific, atrocious thing, but in the mafia world... nobody was really a "good guy". They all did horrible things, and no, you weren't trying to justify murder. You knew things weren't so black and white, but those two were bad men.

"Jongin, they were shit people who did horrible things, it's not wrong to feel relief that they're gone." You tell him, but the look of doubt is clear on his face. "I don't think anything is wrong with you... I'd be happy if I were in your position too."

He raises his eyebrows at your statement before saying, "Maybe there's something wrong with you too."

His words cause you to pause in thought until you finally shrug, "Well, then we'll be fucked up together."

He shakes his head at you, but a small smile does find its way onto his face, and that was literally all you cared about at the moment.

As the two of you start to walk down to the training room again, he asks, "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Are you avoiding Minseok because of what you just told me?"

He avoids looking at you and continues quietly walking down the hallway for a moment before answering. "Partly... I thought it'd be good to give him space. I took away his last living parent... How can you forgive someone for that?"

You couldn't respond to his question, because you didn't know the answer yourself. Would you be able to forgive Jongin if you were in Minseok's position? It was hard to put yourself in those shoes because you knew, one way or another, Minseok's father was never going to leave that room. Whether it be by Jongin's hand, your brother's, or your own.

All you knew was that it was something the two of them would have to work out themselves, and you were worried about what would happen if they let this go on for too long. "You need to talk to him before it's too late..."

He thinks about your words for the rest of the walk but remains silent until the two of you walk into the training room, where your eyes immediately find Baekhyun waiting there. You would be lying if you said a thrill didn't go through your entire body at the sight of him.

"Are you joining us today?" Jongin asks with clear amusement.

You're silent as you watch Baekhyun walk up to the two of you with a swagger you've only ever seen him pull off. You shake your head at the thought, immediately annoyed with yourself for thinking someone's walk was sexy.

"Oh, I'll be here every day until she kicks your ass," Baekhyun replies with a smirk that you force yourself to ignore.

His words and belief in you, however, gave you the motivation you needed to train, and for the next hour, the three of you warm-up and take turns sparring with each other. You could feel yourself getting stronger, compared to how you were before the training started, and the thought made you giddy with adrenaline. You were becoming a badass person, and damn, it was exciting.

"Kai hyung," A voice calls from the entrance of the training room, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's an issue at the club."

Jongin drops his fighting stance and sighs as he looks over at the younger man who you have never seen before. "Which one?"

"The one we just acquired, sir."

Jongin swore before following the younger man out of the training room. You turn to Baekhyun in confusion.

"Who was that, and what club is he talking about?"

"Someone in Jongin's unit," He answers while slowly circling you, "They just bought a ...gentleman's club."

You turn your body with him as he watches your movements, looking for a place to attack, but your mind was already elsewhere.

"You guys own strip clubs too?"

"We dabble in a little bit of everything. Casinos, dealerships, strip clubs... Why do you sound so surprised?"

Why were you surprised? Jongin was one of the most sexual beings you knew. It made perfect sense for him to run the strip clubs.

Suddenly, you feel a jab in your left arm as Baekhyun takes a hit at you and circles around behind you. You quickly turn and catch the smirk still on his face.

He raises an eyebrow at the taken aback look on your face and asks, "You thought you were done training because your teacher left?"

Your throat suddenly dries up at the sight of him. The raised eyebrow, the smirk, his sweaty naked torso, his eyes as they looked over your body, searching for a hint of your next move. It was a sensation overload. Pair that with the previous conversation of strip clubs, and your mind almost went blank.

Focus. You needed to focus. Forget about the stupidly attractive, oddly caring guy in front of you and put your opponent on his fucking ass.

You studied his movements for a moment, the way his body leaned, and the direction his feet were facing before making your move.

You tried to make all of your movements seamless and fast, but Baekhyun was still able to track them and quickly blocked the punch you threw at him. Your next thought was to aim a high kick toward his side, but he caught your leg mid-air and held it still.

You hopped around as you tried to balance on one foot and met his stare. You were shocked to find heat in his gaze, and suddenly, the position you were in seemed way too intimate for sparring.

"Can I have my leg back?" You breathlessly ask.

Baekhyun slowly looks down at your leg, like he didn't even realize he still held it, before quickly dropping it, shaking his arms out, and rolling his neck around.

The two of you backed away and sized each other up. You had yet to take Baekhyun down, and suddenly, you were very determined to do it tonight. The tension in your body would only be settled when one of you was on your back.

He takes a step toward you, and you step back in response, maintaining the same distance between you, and when he brings his arm back to strike, you dodge. Unfortunately, you were too late to realize it was a trick, and his leg was able to snake out and swipe you off your feet.

The panic came, just like it always did when you fell, and you grab his arm in a death grip on your way down. His body, not expecting the extra weight of another person, gave out, and he landed directly on top of you.

You both let out a small noise as your bodies smack into each other and then lay there for a second as you both try to figure out what just happened. Finally, the situation registers in your mind. Byun Baekhyun, a member of the deadly EXO and the guy you were stupidly attracted to, was laying on top of you.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you knew he could feel it because you could feel his beating erratically too. Both of you were already breathing heavily from the sparring, but the way his body molded around yours almost stole all your breath entirely. You could feel the strength of his body against the softness of yours, and it sent your mind into a wild frenzy.

As he leans his weight onto one of his arms so he wouldn't crush you, you search his eyes and let out a small gasp when you see the hunger in them. The noise draws his eyes down to your lips, and his tongue slips out to wet his own.

His gaze bounces between yours and your lips, searching for something, an answer or permission maybe, before he slowly lowers his head and claims your lips with his own. It was gentle and light at first, and the softness of his lips causes your remaining breath to disappear, but when you open your mouth and let him in, the kiss quickly turns more passionate.

His kiss sent an explosion of bright, colorful lights through your head, and it was enough to make you dizzy. His tongue slid into your mouth and quickly began teasing yours, and you couldn't get enough of it. You tilt your head to the side, and he quickly deepens the kiss as his free hand slowly slides down the side of your body.

Everything felt right all of a sudden. Kissing Baekhyun made you feel like everything would be okay in the end. It made you feel like your head was going to explode, but you welcomed it because if this was how you were going out, you had absolutely zero complaints.

After a while, he slowly pulls away, but not before leaving one more soft kiss on your tingling lips. You gradually open your eyes, and the two of you stare at each other in amazement. You were never the romantic or fairy tale type of girl, and you never believed that people were made for each other, but with Baekhyun, you wanted to be.

A noise across the room breaks the spell the two of you had fallen under and the mumbled words of an apology have both of your eyes widening.

The two of you look over at the source of the noise and see a flustered young man still apologizing and looking everywhere but at the two of you. You had no idea who he was, but you assumed he was another member in one of the guys' units.

The thought was confirmed when Baekhyun quickly scrambles off of you. You search his face to get an idea of how he's feeling, and a small flash of hurt and confusion goes through you when you see the spooked out look on it.

Was he worried about the younger man telling someone? Your brother, maybe? Was it something else entirely? Did he... did he regret kissing you?

Before you could get any of these questions out, Baekhyun excuses himself and quickly takes off toward the exit, leaving you laying there all alone.

Tagging: @knjkitten @kpopserene @multifandombxxch @tashaxvamp @kpop---scenarios @bhyunni @chanyeolismybaby @flaming-laboob @taetaeeyong @lilbitoflyssa @misstressporkchoppp @hoseok-wang @spiltkpop @isha454 @depuis2mille @marovekian1 @ladylynae @abby8451 @lynniev @insta1010 @sawadabegum @avxngxrrogxrs @equesasprokishi @imstuckinafictionaluniverse @layisanangel @mongryong-the-corgi @overthelamebowz @lizbether01 @thatanonymousgirl-as14 @nothingbutadeadesceane @kim-ji-hyeons-world @suhappysuho @futuremrspcy

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thessaliah · 4 years

Note

So I’m curious; you’ve said in the past that the Lostbelts tend to reflect their Crypters insecurities/traumas etc (like how the Yaga in LB1 reflect Kadoc’s misguided attempts to toughen up and throw away his perceived weakness of humanity.)

So how do the other LBs parallel their own Crypters backstories etc?

They do, some with stronger connection than other. But usually, the Crypter has several narrative "foils" that mirror one of their mental issues/flaws/desires/etc: The Lostbelt itself, sometimes the Lostbelt King, sometimes one of your Servants, sometimes a member of Chaldea (like Mashu in Ophelia's case). Kadoc's example is obvious and uncomplicated. His family name means "Land of beasts/wolves" so oh-surprise he appears in a literal kingdom of Beasts. His magecraft specialization is wilderness survival and anti-animal/beast stuff, unironically. Ivan, the Lostbelt King, threw away his humanity to become a beast in order to survive, including sacrificing his love for music (classical in his case), and apparently he lost his beloved wife, Anastasia. You can already see why Kadoc's love for rock music that he misses and his romance with a different Anastasia became a thing here. But the other Crypters do have connections to their lostbelts. Ophelia's emotionally stunned, afraid of making choices, preferring being complacent and try to live up to wishes and expectations, always insecure, and unhappy deep inside. She falls into a complacent world, full of children and only children (even the 'adults' are treated like children) who follow a "benevolent" mother who scheduled their lives without possibilities to grow: you die at 25, unless you have no children then you die at 15. A world where Sunday will never come. Skadi is also a foil, in her trying to love everyone, she's condemning everyone because like Ophelia she can't take sides or a choice until the end (when is too late), she also had many suitors (like Ophelia) but only looked up and had feelings for one who didn't notice her (Odin), and her current actions are trying to live up his expectations (and failing). Familiar right? Ophelia's family has roots in Scandinavia, so there's a personal connection to the Lostbelt. LB3 is where the strong connection falters a bit but still persists. Just in a different manner (because the characters aren't having a coming of age as Kadoc and Ophelia did, IMO).

Hinako is a false name and she's actually a Xian, Consort Yu, from China. She's immortal and nonhuman, and lands in a convenient China with cattle like humans who wouldn't chase her down, ruled by a sole existence, Qin. While it doesn't look like it has a strong connection, it does because Qin is (or will become a Xian too) and he's truly the only "human" in the place, so it mirrors her lonely existence and her unique species. The craving for company despite that. The weight of accepting the world of Panhistory humans and aiding them, letting go of misconceptions and grudges. Hinako and Qin (the LB is Qin) have this in common.

Pepe doesn't have a nationality connection or a name one, but is fascinated with cycles of Death and Rebirth. Because they want to kill their past and flush out their personal imperfections to become a better person even if they have given up in this in a way. Pepe cannot see their own good sides and thinks they are cruel and heartless frustrated by their inability to get angry (and jealous of their servant who easily rages against everything. Pepe wants to rage against fate), but like Kirschtaria states Pepe is the best one of them. The Lostbelt is an answer to Pepe's prayers because they dislike the way panhistory was. A cruel hell they have been endured in their work of mercenary. The LB4 is more innocent and pure, so Pepe wants to protect it. A place where nobody wages war for greed, pride or vanity. In this, there is a similitude with Arjuna who started this cycle affected by the endless wars and experiences he endured, and along the way, lost the sight of his humanity.

Kirschtaria's LB connection is more aligned to give him a special sky for his powers and so he can nurture the tree better. This lostbelt was probably picked because of power compatibility rather than personality one as others (and it makes sense because this LB seems to be the one the "god" knew beforehand, the rest came after Wodime's petition and didn't seem wanted or chosen or she would have never bring forth LB3 or LB6 that are threats to U*Olgamarie). It's in a way a reflection of what he dislikes, unlike the previous cases: a world ruled by gods' whims, strong humans subjugated to them, and a pariah group of humans kicked out from Olympus living in Atlantis only groveling to return. The potential soft connection is how superhuman and above normal humans they are. Other connection is Zeus, in his position toward the Crypters. Nothing to do with their personalities, which are different, but mostly how Zeus took a decision and shouldered everyone's mistrust and misunderstanding like how Kirschtaria has been doing so far. Zeus is a supergod, and Kirschtaria stands as the apex of humanity in that lostbelt. Caenis and Atlas are also his foils, IMO.

There's no much known about Beryl and Daybit, except that their Lostbelts seem connected to their potential natures. Beryl is probably a hybrid of sorts, he's nicknamed a werewolf, and he's landed in a Lostbelt where fae and other elementals are in control, in Britain (also nationality). While Daybit... he used to be in Lore Department (deals with relics and things outside Human's Domain) and was born in Nevada is now in a Lostbelt with ORT and connected to alien stuff. His mats also describe Daybit as some kind of survivor-oriented person, and he’s landed in the Amazon forest. So once again there’s a match between LB and Crypter. We don’t know his deal yet or the LB specific to say more.

#fgo asks #crypters

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elizabethvaughns · 3 years

Text

character analysis of lucas gray: an essay

i sometimes think about why lucas so readily professed his love for beth but waited years to do the same for david.

here’s my explanation why. my thoughts are very scattered, so forgive me for that.

in beth’s case, their relationship started off in a friendly context. soon after, they began dating. all in all, by the time if/then began, lucas already had a romantic history with her. they met in college, had a relationship for a short amount of time, and broke it off. all well and good. right? wrong.

it’s likely—no—pretty much confirmed that he had lingering feelings when they broke up.

but but but they still spent time together—a lot of time. i mean why wouldn’t they? they’re best friends, after all. but the issue with that is that the feelings probably simply intensified as they hung out and did shit together.

then, oren. i think this, especially, is where things went to shit for beth, lucas, everyone involved. well, as you know, beth lived in phoenix for twelve years, and she and lucas last saw each other before the events of if/then roughly nine years and six months prior.

they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. i’d like to add that it makes the person grow stupider and more idealistic as well.

there is plenty of textual evidence to support the assertion that lucas idealizes his college days and essentially associates them with beth. referring to beth as “my college girlfriend” rather than “my best friend” and wanting to “make shit happen” with her are only two examples of that.

now what happens with idealism, is that one focuses only/mostly on the, well, the ideal parts of the past or the present. to lucas, the most ideal part of the past was the time when he was (a) with beth and (b) doing protests with her. so, he chooses to hold on to those moments. now, here’s the thing about memory. time can distort a particular event to unimaginable means, just based on one’s perception of it. for example, i embarrassed myself once in middle school. now, most people probably didn’t react much to it because it’s, well, middle school—people do stupid shit then. but the emotion i associate with it the most is embarrassment, so that is how my memory perceives it. it essentially exaggerates the memory through the lens of one’s associated emotions to fit the perceived narrative rather than the actual one so much so that the perceived narrative is the one that remains.

now, similarly, lucas likely associates two major emotions with beth: happiness and love. romantic or platonic, nobody really knows. here’s why: in “surprise” beth says, “he thinks he loves me, / i know it’s not true”. now, if lucas had previously declared his love for her, but beth still doesn’t believe it’s true, there must be a reason why.

in college, lucas and beth were still exploring and navigating the nature of relationships and life, and stuff. neither of them knew the difference between infatuation and love, least of all lucas! therefore, it is reasonable to assume that the happiness that lucas felt around beth was simply perceived by him as love. spending some nine and a half years away from beth simply exacerbated the feeling that he had that hey! this might be love! moreover, time spent away from beth idealized his memory of her, making him fall even more in “love” with her. as a result, he probably never allowed himself to fully explore any other romantic relationships as he was fully convinced that he was in love with beth.

he’s known since college that she doesn’t love him, but that doesn’t stop him because it’s his belief that he’s deeply in love with her. what’s more, he perceives love as practical efficiency(probably a reason why beth and lucas got together in college in the first place, so if lucas perceives that interaction as love, then he must think that love is related to the efficiency of a couple). which…is why he proposes to beth during “surprise”. while he would not normally do such a thing, his inhibitions and critical thinking skills are severely lowered by his inebriation, hence the proposal.

now, in david’s case. the two meet, in liz-verse at least, because a mutual friend(ie. josh) introduces the two of them. now here, their relationship starts off already in a romantic context. the two are barely strangers before they hit it off and start dating. now it’s clear that love can develop either very fast or very slowly. it depends on the couple. however, the question here is not whether there is love (or moreso when it started between the two, because there most definitely is. the question is: when did lucas perceive the emotions that he had for david and why was he so reluctant to say “i love you” to him?

well, their romantic chemistry is clearly visible by “surprise”(a few months after “ain’t no man manhattan” by my best judgment). they’re affectionate, they’re moving in with each other, couple shit. by “best worst mistake”, they’re already super domestic with major old married couple vibes(“work on the book” “i’m working on the book” and so on and so forth).

now their relationship may be practical or efficient by some means. i cannot judge that with the information i have. what i can judge, though, is the fact that this relationship is healthy, supportive, affectionate, and overall pretty strong.

now i’ve already previously mentioned that lucas was in love with an idealized version of beth—or, well, liz in this case. but those romantic feelings must have mostly waned away after seeing her with josh.

what most probably did not wane away, though, is the fact that he still thought love was something along the lines of what he had with beth. and as you may have noticed, lucas/david is nothing like lucas/beth. so he definitely recognized he was feeling some sort of affection toward david but probably never really registered it as love.

“it’s not that i don’t love you / ‘cause i don’t not love you / and i’d lie to say i’m never / sometimes always thinking of you / but when something’s deeply felt / it seems shallow just to say / the thing that’s expected / the same dull cliché”.

now here, in the above quote, it’s clear that lucas feels feelings of what…can be considered as love for david. but, he believes that saying “i love you” to someone basically invalidates the depth of one’s feelings toward them due to the triteness and overuse of the phrase(probably another product of college-era lucas(/beth) which he holds on to for so long). which may be considered hypocritical, considering the fact that he said it to beth in another timeline. but he had over nine years to wallow over and internalize those feelings, so he probably thinks (in beth-verse) that it’s a good idea to say “i love you” because he believes that his feelings are deep enough to warrant an “i love you”. however, in david’s case, these feelings are somewhat novel(considering the timeframe of beth/lucas, at least. take three years against some 12-16 years i’d reckon). so he’s not sure whether it’s love or just…well…intense affection. but he knows it’s not the contrary either due to the aforementioned affection.

hence, it’s not until david’s convincing does he realize that he’s actually properly in love with him and the feelings are there and real and profound enough. therefore, he says it to him right there and then.

now, i’m not saying that lucas does not love beth. absolutely not. i’m just saying that the romantic love was mostly targeted toward college-era beth. the two do love each other! just…platonically.

tl;dr lucas is not (romantically) in love with beth, only with an idealized version of her. he holds on to those feelings and that relationship for so long that his very personality is affected, which is why he does not think his feelings for david are not deep/profound enough to be considered love.

#if/then #ch: lucas gray #character analysis #essay #would love to hear your thoughts #so anyways that's that #i'll make a reblog of this post if i feel i have something to add

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angelwars11 · 4 years

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Title: What would you do if you had more time?

Prompt: Clock

Pairing: Codex

Rating: T

Word count: 6k

‘Time. What is time? Time is an ugly storm in which we are all lost. Time is when your children grow from young to old. When a seed grows into a tree. When things change from new to unusable. When people marry and divorce. When birth becomes death. When seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years go by without stopping. You can’t stop time. It’s simply impossible.’

—

‘Time is running out for all of us. But if you give a little nudge, a little push against the clock’s hands; then maybe, just maybe, you possess enough strength and determination to push time back.’ -By Me (Beta/Angel)

This is day 4 of the ClonecestInJuly challenge! I finished this prompt a week ago and the editing was finished last night, the beta reading was finalized today. Now this one is very angsty, sad, and is also said to be a tear-jerker, and I quote, “Oh thank god, that got me all teary-eyed.” by my marvelous beta reader @gimmeclones. It’s also edited by my fabulous revisor, @blazesurrender! Thank you darlings!! P.S. the flower’s symbolism in this story is Hope.

Who’s ready to cry and hug a pillow close to their chest? Who’s ready to want to hug the characters really hard? If you are ready, please, press the ‘keep reading’ link. Enjoy!!

*Warning: Pretty angsty! If you aren’t into angst, then please don’t read! Also, you will cry so grab a tissue box.

Time. What is time? Time is an ugly storm in which we are all lost. Time is when your children grow from young to old. When a seed grows into a tree. When things change from new to unusable. When people marry and divorce. When birth becomes death. When seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years go by without stopping. You can’t stop time. It’s simply impossible.

Some people waste their time away by doing unremarkable or unimportant things that won’t help them in the long run. Then, once they even waste it away, they can’t do anything about it.

The elderly, who’ve lived their lives to the very end, will tell you one thing:

“Time is valuable, and when it is gone, it’s gone. Time is wealth, and unlike credits, when it is gone, you cannot replace it.”

You may think that time is invisible to the naked eye, but no, it’s not. Actually, you can see it right there in front of you above every person’s head like a marker. Marking. Or target them for an inevitable change.

Death.

Numbers, colored in neon glowing colors would float above your head since the time you were born; and they only change from green to red when you are approaching your end. Everyone has this. Not one person has never been born without it. An ugly and scarily real reminder of what is to come if you are not careful.

The scary thing about it is that you can stop what’s coming. Only fate has your life in its hands. Would you trust in fate? It could change directions if you chose a different path. Could that path lead you right to your death? Could your decision be right—or very wrong and lead you to your undoing?

Rex has never known what to do about fate because he can’t do anything about it; not that he knows of. These glow green numbers have floated above his head for as long as he could remember. He couldn’t touch these numbers. His hands went right through them.

The green would pixelate and float away. Then they’ll come back at some point. You touching your own numbers wouldn’t affect your time or you, it just makes the numbers dissolve and at some point it’ll bounce back.

Rex’s numbers say exactly: 60:12:20:18

He has exactly 60 years, 12 months, 20 minutes, and 18 seconds until he dies. Rex is unbelievably surprised by this amount of years he has. First of all, all clones barely have time on their hands; or more like on their heads. Seriously! Some clones have mere minutes or hours until they die and it’s really unnerving to know that you are about to die on your next mission someplace and you don’t even know HOW you’ll die.

Rex stares at the numbers over his head for a long time. They continue to count down every second. He shakes his head and sighs. What can I do about it? Fate is unclear sometimes. At one point, Rex’s number specifically said 01:36:18:01 till he died, and that was before the battle of Geonosis—the first battle of the Clone Wars when clone troopers were introduced. Rex actually believed he was going to die that day, but something changed it; somehow he changed it.

A plasma grenade landed in the sand in front of him and his numbers stuttered. He remembers this so vividly. Then Rex ran in the opposite direction and the blast sent him flying forward. He woke up dazed, confused, and dizzy most of all. Rex forced himself to stand and continue fighting but he didn’t realize his number got knocked all the way back to 02:03:60:59.

Two years! Rex thought about it. What if we can change our path and divert to another path away from death itself? He dismissed these crazy thoughts and called them childish or far-fetched fantasies that simply couldn’t come true. That all changed once Rex was sent to Teth and his numbers dropped; they were falling—and falling fast.

Ventress took hold of him, attempting to use the force to make him comm his General, but Rex fought her control long enough to say his General’s first name, Anakin, and that alone improved his numbers. Ventress left him against the wall. His numbers rose to 03:08:60:59.

At the time, Rex had no idea how he got his time all the way up to 50 years! But he did somehow after spending many long days and hourless nights thinking, and he finally perceived the truth. I can change the pathway fate has carved for me.

He should be happy that his life ended up that long, as a result of his quick-thinking, but it also makes Rex feel sad every time he looks upon a vod’s numbers and it’s spiraling down to zero. Rex wants to hide away his numbers sometimes, he can’t though.

Oh well. Rex sighs internally and leaves the ‘fresher.

Rex is getting ready for a big mission to follow a signal being transmitted to a Separatist Cyber Center on the planet’s surface. Hours ago, Rex and Commander Cody came forward to Jedi Generals Made Windy and Anakin Skywalker with their theory that the Separatists had somehow managed to figure out Rex’s strategic “playbook”, and Cody had proposed taking a team behind enemy lines to investigate.

Rex finishes getting ready in the ‘fresher and exits. He walks over to the nearest bunk and sits down on it. A soft glowing light, warm and orange shines onto his face.

He smiles to himself.

On his holo-pad, he stares at a picture of him, Cody, Fives, and Echo. They all looked so… happy. Which should be kind of unusual during a war. Rex enjoyed his time with all three of them. Echo was taken away from them, a couple weeks after the picture was taken, during the Citadel Mission on Lola Sayu. Fives had never been the same since. Now, they are both gone. Rex doesn’t like to think about what happened to Fives. His hand grips tighter onto the edge of the screen.

Rex believes that Echo is alive and he’s the reason why their algorithm keeps getting recognized and used against them. The swish of the doors opening turned Rex away from his holo-pad and towards his riduur. Cody. Rex smiles at him.

Nobody is around. I could just-

“Kot’ika, hey.” Rex let’s the nickname slip from his lips. Cody’s eyes soften from their natural hardened look. He always looks that way with everyone, especially when in serious situations.

“Rex. You wanted to talk.” Cody barely lets a flicker of a smile show on his face. Rex knows he’s just trying to be the big bad Commander and barely show any emotion. He only ever shows true emotion, or loving emotion, when they are in the bedroom.

“Yes,” Rex confirms, “I did.”

The two of them talk about how Echo could be the potential reason for the Separatists constant victories. Rex deduces Echo is the only possible weak point for how the Separatists could have gotten the algorithm since his body has never been recovered. It is a bit of a far stretch though. It leaves Cody feeling skeptical of the theory after Rex tells him his idea.

“I hope you’re right. But the fact is, Echo’s fingerprints are all over the Separatist’s strategies.” Rex looks at Cody. The other’s scratched up helmet sits nestled against his left hip.

“Rex. You have to admit what you’re saying is a long shot at best, and most likely, misplaced hope.” Cody calmly watches him. Rex turns his gaze to the floor, sad and frazzled. He’s not so sure he can make up his mind about whether he wants to believe Cody’s instincts, or his own.

Cody raises his hand slowly in front of Rex’s face to call back his attention. Rex stares at him again.

Concern flickers in Cody’s eyes, “I need you to be focused on this.“

Rex shifts his gaze a bit. "I-I know, I know.” Golden eyes flick up to meet Cody’s hazel once more. “Don’t worry."

Cody offers another smile, gentle and sweet. That’s when Rex’s eyes widen just a fraction. He stopped looking at other’s numbers above their heads because the 8 digits ceased to interest him; they only made him more sad and worried and so many other things. He just so happened to look up and notices Cody’s numbers are lowering a bit quicker than normal.

Cody turns to walk away from the bunk and Rex squints at the mocking numbers.

Holy kriff. Why didn’t I notice till now?

"Wait, Cody.” Rex jumps to stand up and runs over to Cody; who turns around to face him again. Some confusion showed in his eyes.

“Yes?” Cody shifts his weight to his right hip.

Rex stares at the numbers in horror. “I…your numbers. They're…” Rex gestures to the numbers above Cody’s soft hair, longer than the normal hair length, and makes an aborted step closer. Cody tips his head back. Too bad an individual can’t see their own numbers unless they look in a mirror. Even then, they are still reversed when presented to the looking glass. The numbers just bend back with you if you look up. Cody seems to remember because he looks at Rex again.

“What’s wrong with them?” Cody eyes him with concern. Rex steps closer and closer till Cody can almost feel his breath on his face. Rex trembles slightly.

“They…they are dropping Cody. Fast.” Rex fights the urge to panic, to say something, to cry or anything, just-Stars! Make them stop moving!

Cody restrains his own panic, but for Rex; because Rex looks like he’s going to cry in any minute. Cody grabs his hands and rubs his knuckles. Just the way he likes it; to calm down some.

“Hey, cyare, look at me.” Cody’s voice is as soft as a young Tooka’s fur. Undisturbed. Fluffy. It could almost wrap it’s warmth around Rex’s body and squeeze him. Rex glances at his face and then back up at the flickering numbers.

“Rex. Please, don’t look at the numbers. Look at me and only me. Don’t look at them.” Cody brushes his chin up with his finger. Rex reacts to it and leans against his body.

“I don't… please don’t go. Your numbers are getting faster. They skipped down five years, Cody. It’s not even years! It's—oh stars.” Rex grits his teeth in horror. Cody quickly shushes him. He doesn’t want anyone to hear them. Rex submits to his hold.

That’s another scary thing, the numbers do not make a sound. It’s like a ghost in the wind.

“Cyare, you know that fate changes whenever you do something. Whatever path you take can change the whole directory, and that just happens to the best of us—"

Rex growls and leans away.

"But not you! I don’t give a shit what fate wants or needs. It won’t take you away from me. I ca-” Cody tightens his hold on Rex’s wrist. That shuts him up. Cody didn’t mean to, but Rex knows that he can’t get attached to him like that; especially when it came to their numbers.

“You will. We are soldiers, Rex. We fight in a war and someday we may not make it back home, to our loved ones. You’ll have to accept that fact when fate decides it’s my time-”

Rex shakes his head. “You don’t have to go. You can stay here; we can make up an excuse why you shouldn’t or can’t go.” Rex smiles. Hope and sorrow shimmer like unhappy, broken up waves in a pond.

Cody let’s go of Rex’s wrist, wraps his arms around his waist, and brings him closer to his chest. A hug. Rex’s breaths become slower and calm.

“You know I can’t do that. But I will remain by your side till the very end, and if fate wants me today; and of course I hope it doesn’t, then it will take me and I get to march with our aliit.” Cody tucks his chin on top of Rex’s short, oh so soft, wheat blond curls.

Rex fights against the burn behind his eyes. Don’t show emotions. Y-You ca-c-can’t. He became so sensitive after Umbara. Rex lost many brothers during that campaign, even the 212th lost many as well. Cody lost Waxer that day.

“If I die, I’ll always be here with you, my love. Never forget that.” Cody whispers. His warm breath tickles his scalp. It sent shivers ramping down his neck, to his broad and wide shoulders, to his toned abdomen and all the way down to his feet. Rex’s arms snake their way around his cyare’s waist to return the hug.

He hates to agree to disagree but it must be done to ease Cody’s concerns and cleanly wipe them off the slate.

Rex nods.

“Okay, okay,” Rex whispers. “Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum."

Cody smiles. He pecks a quick kiss on Rex’s forehead and returns his resting place on his head. "Bal Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum."

—

Rex stands beside Cody. They rock back and forth with the movement of the LAAT shuttle. Something that every trooper has learned throughout the war; go with the flow or the movement of the shuttle. Don’t fight against it or you’ll fall over. The red lights enveloped the entire midsection of the ship in an evil glow. It put Rex on edge because he knows that Cody’s time is ticking down to 0 sooner than he liked.

Why did we let him go on the mission if he’s about to die or get hurt? Succumb to injuries that may kill him. Well, they are clone troopers. They can’t not go on missions just because their time is ticking down. They have to go!

Cody glances down at Rex’s hand while everyone else is looking in the other direction, and his knuckles graze Rex’s. Two fingers wrap themselves around his own fingers. Rex looks up at Cody. Then the Captain slowly flicks his eyes up to stare scrutinizingly at the glowing numbers. They are slowly turning red.

"Cody, ” Rex whispers. Cody rubs his thumb over his knuckles.

“It’s okay, Rex. Everything is fine.” Cody reassures him with a small smile and kind eyes. Nothing is fine though. Cody is going to die in 43 minutes because of something that Rex doesn’t know, not yet anyways. Rex wants so badly to do more than curl his own fingers around Cody’s. He wants to hug him. Kiss him. Be close to him.

“I gotta go up to the front and brief everyone on what we need to do. I’ll be back okay.” Cody let’s go of his fingers and holds his eye contact with Rex before he walks over to the front of the mid-section.

00:43:57

Cody won’t be back. Something is going to happen to this shuttle, I just know it.

Cody is getting closer and closer to death. Rex’s heart throbs at the terrible knowledge. Why does no one else care that Cody’s time is almost up? Why?! Maybe because they have another issue that’s more important than a clone Commander’s imminent death.

“Alright, listen up.” Cody whips out a mini holo-projector that shows a staticky picture of a satellite dish. “Here’s the mission. Our target is the Cyber Center. It’s the "brains” of the entire Separatist campaign here on Anaxes.“ Cody seems so confident even though time is ticking. Ticking and ticking. And it won’t stop until it has Cody in it’s sharp clutches.

Wrecker steps forth. "I could demolish that with one hand!” He says energetically while raising his left fist. “Yeah!” Wrecker nods.

Cody just looks at him. “This isn’t a demo job, Wrecker.” Then Cody glances at everyone else on the shuttle. “It’s strictly a retrieval operation.” The holo-projection flickers off. The low blue of its natural light dissipates: and the evil red of the room returns.

The shuttle tips to its right as it enters a canyon-like terrain. Rex nervously shifts as he stares at Cody’s numbers again. Even Hunter glances up at them in surprise. Seems like he just noticed. Rex thinks. The loud sound of explosions rock the ship from side to side. Everyone rocks with the movement.

We are under attack!

Everyone looks up at the ceiling. They can all hear it outside. Cannon fire, most definitely. The ship groans as it rises into the sky in an attempt to escape being shot down. A black DSD1 dwarf spider droid gets a lucky shot. The red plasma bolt rams into the metal with a screeching hiss. Amber’s fly off the side of the ship that had been hit; and the shuttle takes a dive back towards the ground.

“We’re going down!” Wrecker shouts the obvious and starts to laugh like a maniac.

The shuttle takes a dangerous dive straight into the side of the cliffs and then continues to shred across it, bringing rocks and rubble down with it. Then the shuttle tips onto its back and left side. It crashes into the ground loudly. Blue and violet crystals, that are stuck into the ground, are brought up by the massive hull.

All of the troopers stumble out of the shuttle coughing and groaning to themselves in pain. Rex hop’s off the side and immediately starts to look for Cody. He didn’t get out. Rex comes to realize in well-concealed horror.

Where is he?!

“We always get shot down when we travel with regs.” Wrecker pouts.

Kix remains on the ship and is peering down into the smoke enveloped shuttle. He calls, “Cody!” Cody doesn’t answer. So Kix turns his head to look at everyone else. “Help!”

A flare of dread rolls through Rex like an angry wave. He turns around, ready to do anything to save his cyare and get him out of there. Haar'chak! His time! He doesn’t have time!

Kix looks back in quickly. His brows furrow. “He’s trapped. We have to do something."

Rex rasps out, "I’ll get him.” and begins to jog over. Hunter rushes to stand in between Rex and his cyare—get your hands off of me!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.“ Hunter stops him with two gauntleted hands pressed against his chest plate and right pauldron. Rex glares at him for one second and then tries to get a glance over his shoulder.

Hunter can see his concern and desperation fluttering around in his eyes. He can tell why he wants to so badly save Cody.

He reassures him, "Easy Captain.” Captain Rex looks at him like he’s crazy. What do you mean 'easy Captain’?! Move! Rex’s eyes glow a bit when the sun’s rays hit them just right. Hunter peeks around Rex’s right shoulder.

“Wrecker,” Hunter acknowledges the bigger trooper, before ordering, “get him out.“ Hunter pushes Rex back and away far away from the ship, gently; just so then he wouldn’t anger him. Rex wouldn’t get unnecessarily upset. Hunter is just doing his job as a Commander of his own squad and is trying to keep him calm.

Wrecker cracks his knuckles. He pulls his left arm up to pump himself up with adrenaline. He’ll need it to get Cody out of there.

"Get back!” Wrecker grunts.

Everyone moves away to watch whatever he’s about to do to save the Commander stuck inside. Rex’s right foot nervously taps against the ground.

“This is ridiculous!” Kix looks at Rex. “He’s gonna need help to get Cody out of there.”

Rex glances from Kix, to the ground, and then back up to the flaming shuttle.

Crosshair chuckles. “He’s gonna get the gunship out of there. Not Cody.” His tone is smug and cocky. Arms crossed over his chest plate like he’s all talk. Rex pushes his boiling anger back down.

Wrecker places his hands on the heated metal. His left hand on the side and his right on the bottom. The sizzling of fire pops near him. Wrecker grunts powerfully. He lifts the shuttle up and up. Then Wrecker jerks his body down to rest both of his hands on the bottom of the shuttle. And his legs move to a crouched position, right leg bent down low and the foot is pressed into the ground, while the left leg is bent back behind him; they have also spread apart a little bit to support the weight.

Wrecker heaves one last time before he pushes up with all his might. Knocking the ship right back up to sit like it’s supposed to; bottom part facing down against the ground, top up towards the sky. Parts of metal fall off and slam into the ground around Wrecker.

He smiles under his cool helmet.

The ship then tips onto the other side. The deafening and horrid sounds of metal, screeching against each other like chalk on a chalkboard, drag along with a groan. The body of the pilot limply sits in the cockpit. Dead. Wrecker instantly grabs a hold of the injured 212th Commander in yellow and heaves him up, like a rag doll, onto his shoulders in a fireman hold.

The buff trooper turns around and makes his way back towards the awaiting group. The aura around the group suffocates them in anxiety; more so for the regs.

Cody’s legs swing from side to side, like he’s already dead.

Wrecker tips his chin up. “Boom."

And on cue, as if he did this a million times before, the shuttle blows up. It becomes a fiery storm of red, orange, and yellow fire. The smoke billows up it no the sky.

Rex and Kix both squint against the heat and raging colors. It may look pretty, but it can still kill. Kix’s mouth opens in a gap and he runs over to meet Wrecker. His field medic instincts are kicking in in an instant.

Rex grits his teeth and runs over as well, his kama swings around his hips multiple times. Wrecker starts to slowly lower him onto the ground; which draws out a pained reaction from Cody. Rex’s eyes widen at the death time flickering above his head.

00:00:37:47

Kix takes out a scanner, the laser hums as it’s dragged along over Cody’s chest because a big metal pole laid across his back inside the ship when he was stuck. Cody’s skin crinkles up under his eyes as his face scrunches up in agony.

Cody groans again.

"He has internal damage.” Kix says grimly. Kix glances at all of them. “I can cut the pain. But he needs help fast.” He takes off his med-pack and starts to dig through it for supplies.

Rex stares at the numbers with sad eyes. Cody gazes up at him longly. Rex notices his cyare’s looking at him, so he kneels down to get a bit closer.

“It’s okay, Cody. Kix will fix you up.” Rex reassures him with a small smile. Cody grimaces when a wave of pain rapidly washes over him.

“I-It hur-hurts.” Cody closes his eyes.

Rex bites the inside of his cheek. If Cody is admitting that it hurts; then it must hurt bad.

“I know. But it’ll be okay. Just stay with me.” Rex’s fingers inch towards his hand. Force, I want to comfort him so bad. But everyone is around. All I can do is say something for now. “I am here, Cody."

Cody flinches away from Kix when he plunges pain killers into the side of his neck. Cody gasps and tries to get away.

"No no. It’s okay. It’s just a syringe.” Rex smiles. Hoping to calm Cody down.

Kix pushes it in; not even waiting for Cody to listen to Rex. The slender metal slides into sensitive skin and that’s enough to make Cody halt in his desperate attempt to escape more pain.

“There you go.” Kix comforts him. He may be firm, but he still cares about his patients. “We need to get him somewhere safe so then a drop ship can come pick him and I up. I’ll go with him back to the base.” Kix volunteers.

While he is, Cody is slowly falling asleep.

Rex nods. “Okay.”

—

The sky is a beautiful glowing blue. An ominous aurora, a glistening light show of ivy green and with a fair amount of yellow, swirled in the sky above a campsite down below in the thick wooded forest. The warm glow of a fire pit hummed lively through the treetops.

Jesse and Kix sit in front of a fire pit. They lean against one another. Tech, Wrecker, and Crosshair stand near the fire pit and Hunter is a little ways away; crouched in the dirt. Hunter touches the dirt and closes his eyes. Near the front of the camp and further away from the campfire sits Cody and Rex.

Cody curls forward and groans in agony. His chest burns terribly. Rex let’s his hand graze the inside of his thigh plate and comforts him the best he can.

“It’s okay, Cody.” Rex whispered under his breath. Cody whines. He tries to push Rex’s hand away but he wouldn’t let go of him for his sake.

“No no. Cod'ika, listen to me. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” Rex reassures him. Or more like he’s trying to reassure himself that everything will be fine but it isn’t! Cody’s time is standing at a standstill of 00:16:34.

“Rex….R-Rex. It hurts so bad.” Cody moaned.

Rex coos at him. “I know, Cod'ika. I know. Just breathe for me."

Cody’s fingers grip the hard plastoid armor around his abdomen and try to yank it off, but he couldn’t. Rex watches him. The numbers flicker again. 00:14:23.

Haar'chak.

"R-Rex, forceee~ It burns.” Cody places his head against Rex’s chest plate and grits his teeth.

Rex looks over his left shoulder. “Kix! Cody, he's—"

The medic rushes over, excusing himself from his conversation with Jesse and the others. Jesse stands yo in concern but Kix tells him to sit back down, he’ll worry about it.

"Okay, Commander. It’s alright. Shit.” Kix stares at the scarlet red above Cody’s head. “Haar'chak.” Kix looks down at his hands and turns his sad gaze to his Captain.

“Rex, I am sorry but we can’t do anything else until the shuttle comes.” Kix sits back.

“But he’s dying Kix! There has to be something you can do!” Rex grips Cody’s trembling hand between his two palms. Cody moans a little louder when his head starts to swim. Rex leans his head against his chestplate.

“I’ve got you. Just lean against me and you’ll be okay.” Rex wraps his arms around him and glances up at the numbers. 13 minutes.

Cody knows his time is almost up. He can feel it in his muscles; how they sag and become heavy like clay and rocks. His eyes couldn’t stay open for long. He feels so tired. Rex stares at the medic sitting beside Cody.

“Can you give us a moment alone?” Rex requested.

Kix smiles sympathetically. “Of course.” Kix walks back over to the warm campfire.

“My love. I am sorry.” Cody apologizes once Kix is gone. “There was no avoiding this. I am so so sorry.”

Hot tears prick Rex’s eyes. He whispers, “It’s okay, Cod'ika. It’s my fault. I should’ve been more persistent with convincing you to stay at the base.” Tears drift down Rex’s face. Cody reaches him up to wipe them away. Rex smiles wetly and presses his forehead against Cody’s and sniffles.

“I love you Kote,” Rex utters the endearment that makes him all the more sad. “I love you so kriffing much,” Rex whispers. A soft sob escapes his lips. Cody closes his eyes and grunts in pain. It’s like the pressure in his stomach is releasing but in the most uncomfortable way possible.

“I love you too.” Cody sighs. His time ticks closer and closer to his inevitable death. Rex holds onto his lover and rocks him back and forth, while he whispers sweet nothings against his cold and clammy skin.

Rex bites his lower lip.

“I wish there was a way to save you. I wish that I could save you. Stars, please help me. Help him. Please give him more time.” Rex murmurs and prays. Cody listens to his breathy pleads over and over; the world is enveloped in a period of silence that is only broken by Rex’s prayers.

“Let me save him. Please, let me save him.” Rex continues the desperate mantra like a broken record.

“Give him more time.”

Cody’s breaths start to slow down with their deathly crawl. His chest burns for more oxygen. Please, more! He whines in pain. Cody claws at Rex’s arm as he is desperate for comfort.

“Give him more time. Give him more time.” Rex repeats.

Cody gasps softly when an odd wave of warmth extinguishes the cold from his skin and body. His eyes fly open. Kix and the others are watching the loving and sad interaction unfold. Kix’s eyes widen when Cody’s numbers flicker closer to three minutes—and they stop. Everyone takes a bated breath and sits in waiting.

Rex says again, “Give him more time. Give him more time. Let me give him more time.”

Cody slowly turns his head to gaze onto Rex’s scrunched up face. Rex’s eyes are closed and his lips move at lighting speed. Cody groans from a deathly cold sensation that suddenly turns really warm and filled with life. Rex’s numbers start to flicker themselves and they—they start to lower from sixty years and go down.

Everyone around them moves towards them in shock. Rex refuses to let go of Cody’s hands. He keeps his own around them until he feels the warmth return to them. Rex blinks in confusion and gazes up at Cody’s numbers.

He gasps.

I-I…I can’t b-believe it. His numbers—

Cody’s eyes widen in horror at Rex’s numbers.

His numbers!

Cody finally feels his strength return, it’s a rush of adrenaline that he uses to reach up and touch the side of Rex’s face. He studies his eyes. Golden and normal; nothing’s wrong with them! Cody stares at his numbers again.

Rex’s numbers stop moving. Cody gapes. Fifty years?! He lost a whole ten years!

“Rex?? I-I…what did you do?” Cody frowns in worry. Rex shushes him.

“I did what I had to so then you could live."

Wrecker screams, "What?! How is that possible? Nobody told me you could do this!!"

Crosshair rolls his eyes. "Nobody knew this Wrecker. This is… Strange. Weird. Are only Regs above to do this?” Crosshair turns to look at the medic questioningly.

Kix shrugs. “N-No. No. I am very sure no one has ever known to do this before. This is a new discovery and development.” Kix kneels down beside Cody’s body again and checks all of his vitals quickly just to double check. Cody couldn’t tear his eyes away from Rex’s numbers.

The corner of Rex’s lip quirks up in amusement. “Cod'ika, look at me. Don’t look at the numbers. They’ve stopped moving; haven’t they?"

Cody glares at him. "You di'kut! You threw your years away to–to— "

"To give you extra years. Commander…you just gained 10 years!” Kix interrupts. “How is that—"

”-Possible?” Hunter finishes for him.

Rex shrugs. “I just kept thinking about wanting to give him more time, and I did."

Cody’s eyes tear up. "Force, you didn’t have to…you didn’t have to do that for me, Rex! You do know that right?”

Rex shakes his head. His eyes light up.

“Cody, I don’t think you understand. I did it because I…” Should I mention our relationship in front of the others?

Cody stares at Rex, waiting for him to finish.

Heh. Screw it! “I care about you a lot. I love you and you know that."

The Bad Batchers smile softly, except for Crosshair, he barely smiles for any reason. Kix and Jesse both gaze at one another. Cody’s breath trembles.

"R-Rex. Force, thank you. Cyare, I love you too.” Cody presses his face into his chest plate. Kix smiles at them.

“Well, his vitals are a lot better, sir. But I think that he should still go back to the base and rest. I don’t want him getting hurt again on this mission and the next time you aren’t able to save him. Okay?” Kix stares them both down firmly. Commander Cody knows not to test Kix’s patience.

“Yessir.” Cody smirks. Kix nods at them and gets up. Then the medic shoos everyone away from the pair so they can have a moment to themselves.

Cody and Rex look at each other before they laugh quietly. Rex’s hand shifts from his bicep to his side. It is there to support him.

“Rest cyare. The shuttle will be here soon and you’ll be back at the base in no time.” Rex offers a small, yet loving smile. Cody leans back against the tree.

“Good. “

The aura around them becomes less tense and more silent. Cody and Rex are thinking about everything that just happened. It happened so fast that Rex wasn’t able to comprehend what happened.

I sacrificed 10 years of my life, and I don’t exactly know how I did it. But one things for sure—

Rex hugs Cody.

“You are reckless sometimes, Rex’ika. You may not have known that would happen; but it did. What if you gave your entire life away for me? And if it’s possible for you to lend over 10 years then I am positively sure you can give away your whole life to me,“ Cody murmurs.

His cyare smiles, unashamed and completely gentle. "I would do anything for you, Cody. You know that.”

“That’s what I am worried about most times too. I am worried you’ll do something that will put your own life on the line for me or someone else you care about. I rather you live than me, I am being honest.” Cody can already feel the heaviness on his eyelids. Sleep is a beautiful thing when it takes you under; away from the pain and suffering.

“I know. But I don’t regret it. Saving you is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me.” Rex gazes over at the others around the fire pit.

"I have to go now, Cody.“

"Okay. Stay safe, for me.” Cody curls one pinky around Rex’s Index finger. Rex grips his pinky tightly before letting go.

“Of course, Kot'ika."

Rex’s finger slips away from Cody’s grasp. He walks towards the fire pit in front of Cody and begins to talk about what they need to do next. In the soft, moist soil, a couple meters away next to the tree; a small shrub-like Hawthorn flower peeks, shyly, from the ground. With a thorny, shiny, thick stem and five white petals with anthers in the middle of the flower that are pink or red.

Its petals open up slowly, like a venus fly trap, and shine brightly in the dark of night.

45 notes · View notes

sparklydreamies · 4 years

Text

Stray Kids 8 Part Series ~ (3) Seo Changbin: He Laughed

Group: Stray Kids

Member: Seo Changbin

Genre: Light angst +hurt/comfort

Word Count: 4,000+

Summary: Don’t give power to merciless people behind a screen.

Stray Kids 8 Part Series MASTERLIST

A/N: Hi guys!! Sorry it took me so long to post again, but I’m back, and hopefully I will be able to write more frequently! This story is centered around the changes in Changbin’s appearance and confidence from debut to now. I always feel bad writing members in pain, but this is the story I came up with lol,, I guess the moral of this story is that idols are people who have valid emotions and feelings, and we as fans don’t have the right to dismiss them and treat them like dolls. So on that note, thank you all for reading!!<33

All throughout his childhood, Seo Changbin had always been skinny. There was never much of a reason for his naturally slim stature other than genetics and a fast metabolism. It always seemed as though throughout his youth, he had never experienced the usual figure changes that a lot of his friends had gone through, whether it was the gain of muscle or fat.

No matter how much food he ate, it never seemed to show on his body. There wasn’t a single part of his body that had excess fat covering the very visible bones. He could never grab a hold of any extra flesh on his body like some of his friends could.

As a teenager, he was always told that it was because he was a “growing boy”, and that he needed a lot of calories in order to grow big and strong. It wasn’t until he was in his early twenties that his stature began to change. He slowly became more muscular, thanks to his countless hours in the gym. Not only that, but he began to notice the faint gain of fat whenever he ate a lot without burning the calories.

In a way, Changbin had always felt like he was blessed to be naturally slim. It was especially appreciated for someone in his line of work. Even after it became easier for him to gain fat, the company had never considered him “too heavy” for an idol. Muscle mass was a different story, however as time progressed, Changbin was able to build the perfect amount of muscle to satisfy the company as well as his fans.

In short, Changbin had always liked his body.

“Time’s up!” Doni called. “Put your markers down.”

Changbin didn’t put his marker down. Giggling like a small child, he avoided the attempts Jisung made at stealing the black marker from his hand, only stopping when the show host called him out on it.

“Changbin’s naughty, he keeps cheating!” Coni laughed.

This was what Changbin loved doing. Making a fool out of himself during variety shows, cheating during games with his members, and overall acting like a child whenever he could.

“We should stop the show right here, Changbin ruined it for everyone.” Doni joked, and Changbin felt Jisung collapse on his back in a fit of laughter, nearly knocking them both off their stools and onto the ground.

“Okay, let’s start with Felix! Show us your drawing,” Doni called, and Felix flipped the notebook he was holding in his hands around.

The point of this segment was for the members to draw a portrait of how they perceive another member.

The entire group as well as Doni, Coni, and a few of the staff members had burst out in laughter at the drawing Felix made of Jeongin.

“Felix, you forgot eyebrows!” Jeongin whined from his spot. Changbin didn’t even notice the missing eyebrows; he was more focused on the teeth that were twice the size that they should have been.

The segment continued on like that, and Changbin felt a swell of pride when the whole group laughed at his drawing of Minho, which looked so scrappy that a five year old could do better. Changbin was having fun.

It wasn’t until it was Jisung’s turn to share his drawing that his mood took a shift.

“And this is my drawing of my lovely Changbinnie-hyung” Jisung giggled from his spot behind his muse.

Changbin took in the piece of art before him. The hair was scraggly, the eyes were small, and the chin looked more like a “V” than a chin.

Changbin laughed at the representation of himself.

“Oh the chin! The chin!” Coni laughed as he made the shape of a “V” with his hands to mock the drawing. Changbin laughed.

“That is the most accurate drawing so far!” Doni commented as he forcefully took Changbin’s face and traced the edges of his chin with his fingers. “Wow, Han is an artist!” Doni cracked as he high-fived Jisung. Changbin laughed.

“He captured Changbin’s face so cleverly!” Coni praised, sitting back down on his stool. Changbin faked annoyance at the hosts and at his band mate. And then, he laughed once again.

His brothers were practically howling at the scene, their voices creating a cacophony of sound ringing in Changbin’s ears. He was happy. He was laughing. So why did it feel as though his stomach was falling through the floor?

For the first time that day, Changbin had to forcefully plaster a smile on his face. He felt the bubbling feeling of embarrassment in his chest for the rest of the filming.

A little while back, Han Jisung had been given a nickname by his fans. Less than a nickname, it was more of a cute comparison. His cheeks had always been unusually large and soft. Whenever he would eat, he would store food inside of them, making them more accentuated than they were before. It was because of this that fans had begun calling Jisung a squirrel.

Jisung liked the connection. Contrary to how he presents himself, he had often struggled with accepting and liking his cheeks. He didn’t like the way they made him look younger and more boyish. He wanted to be perceived in a more mature and manly way.

That was why when fans began to compliment and praise his chubby cheeks, it helped him become more confident in his face.

Changbin had seen the improvement of Jisung’s spirit. Praise for Jisung’s cheeks from fans had helped him improve his self image a lot, and for that, Changbin’s love for his fans had only grown.

He only wished that he could experience the same reactions to his insecurities.

Changbin wouldn’t consider himself jealous of Jisung’s full cheeks and round face. It was stupid to compare oneself to another person based off of superficial things like looks, however it didn’t stop Changbin from appreciating the younger boy’s unique features.

The show aired on it’s planned date with no faults. Changbin watched the program on television, and was fairly proud of the results of the editing process. He had hoped that STAYs would enjoy the hour-long show.

After a few hours, Changbin opened Twitter so that he could get a sense of how his fans appreciated the show. Skimming through fans’ tweets, he noticed a few that stood out to him.

Most of the comments were about Felix and Jisung’s aegyo, or Hyunjin’s random dance challenge. The deeper he scrolled, the more tweets he found about him.

Normally, having a lot of tweets aimed at him would be an honour to Changbin. It usually meant that he was charismatic and funny enough to gain fans’ attention. That was why he didn’t understand the embarrassing feeling that came along with the jokes about his face structure.

That’s all that they were. Jokes. People liked to joke about his chin, so why should he worry? Why did he feel shameful?

Changbin’s stomach continued to drop with every comment he read about his face. Every time he saw that drawing of him, it was like another pin stabbing his chest.

That night at dinner, everyone was talking about the show. The members were talking about the comments that they received, the fans reactions, and how they thought it was a really successful show.

At one point during the meal, Jisung had shoved Changbin in the shoulder and laughed about the drawing that he made and how funny the fans thought it was. Changbin laughed.

Changbin had always been able to hide his feelings well. Especially as an idol, hiding hardships is mandatory. Changbin was good at laughing. It was a sure fire way to make everybody think that you’re happy, when on the inside, it feels like you’ve swallowed a thousand bees.

So that night, he laughed. He subjected himself to be the clown, even though it hurt him. Nobody needed to know about how he let his tears fall onto his pillow while they all slept.

Changbin had thought about how he was working so hard to remain slim and skinny, and how if he were to gain just a little more weight, he could possibly make himself softer and cuter, like his brother Jisung.

He figured that it was worth a try. Sure he might have to fight the company tooth and nail to gain the weight that he wants, but it was worth it. It was worth it to change how he looked. It was worth it to satisfy his fans.

For the next few weeks, Changbin had let himself gain weight. He ate more and stopped trying so hard to burn it all off. He still worked out enough to remain healthy, and he was still trying to gain muscle, but whenever he stepped on the scale and saw that he was a pound or two heavier than he had previously been, he felt his heart swell.

It was an odd thing to want to gain weight. Most idols would kill to be as skinny as Changbin had been, yet here Changbin was, trying to gain weight for the purpose of chubbier cheeks and softer edges.

Eventually, it began to work. Changbin began to wake up in the morning to see that his face was rounder, fuller, and cuter than it had been before. The whole thing made him elated.

It had gotten to the point where he was satisfied with his outer appearance. His chin was much less prominent. A less prominent chin meant that there was less for people to make their jokes out of.

“Hannie, stop!” Chan shrieked just as Jisung smeared a fat glob of vanilla frosting on his cheek.

All of the members were crowded in their living room, celebrating Bang Chan’s birthday with their fans. The energy level in the room was ecstatic. Some members were getting cake violently rubbed into their skin while others were trying to read comments and make the VLive as normal as possible.

Changbin was in the middle of answering a question when he felt a tap on his shoulder from behind where he was sitting on the ground in front of the coffee table. Before he thought better of it, his head was turning and he was met with a face full of frosting from Minho.

“Hey! Minho, get back here!” Changbin screamed, getting up to chase the nuisance around the room.

Laughter filled the room and lit up Changbin’s heart. He thought that nothing could destroy his mood.

It wasn’t until the next day that Changbin had checked Twitter again.

He scrolled through a lot of happy birthday wishes for Chan, which made him smile. He read a few of the messages, and saved the ones that he wanted to show to Chan.

And then, he got to some posts about the live. Most of them were sweet and nice, there were some clips of various parts of the live including the moment that Changbin got his face full of cake. As he scrolled for longer and longer, he got to some comments that were less light-hearted.

They didn’t like the weight he gained. Of course he noticed the comments from fans who had thought he looked healthier and happier, but no matter how many positive comments he saw, the posts from people calling him fat and saying that he was “letting himself go” were far stronger. The people calling him a pig and a fatass and ugly were too loud.

Changbin didn’t understand. After everything he did to satisfy the fans, they still made negative comments about him. He once was too skinny, now he is too fat.

He knew that he shouldn’t listen to people who didn’t show their faces, yet to know that people were confidently calling him degrading names stung him deeply. He felt a hopeless feeling bloom inside of him, and it drove him mad.

Changbin felt the first tear slip down the side of his face as the feeling of his chest collapsing took him over. His phone was thrown across his bedroom, the sound of a screen shattering as it hit the floor being the only identifiable noise in the room.

He wanted to scream. There was no pleasing them. He hated himself. He hated the way that he looked. He hated himself when he was skinny, and he was beginning to hate himself now that he gained weight. But mostly, he hated the way that he was reacting.

This was the job, wasn’t it? None of this should be surprising to him. He had known about the malicious comments aimed at the other members for various reasons, so why was this so frustrating for him?

Changbin fisted his hair to ground himself. He tried to count his breaths in his head, but all he heard was the comments ringing around in his ears.

...He got fat...

...Has he stopped working out?...

Fucking breathe.

...He’s turning into a pig...

...Changbin’s face is so fat...

Letting out his first scream of frustration, Changbin shot up from his bed. If the fans wanted him to be skinnier, then fine. He would get skinnier.

This was for the good of his career. Nobody liked an ugly idol, and if he is more attractive with a slim stature and a pointy chin, then he would work to achieve it. If he gained the weight, surely he could lose it again.

The room was small, and it felt like it was getting smaller.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he threw open his bedroom door. Changbin grabbed his running shoes from the rack by the entrance, slipped them on, and took off from the dorm that felt like it was suffocating him.

The night air was refreshing against Changbin’s burning skin as he sprinted down the street. Ten o’clock at night couldn’t be considered too late to go for a run, especially when the moon was shining so beautifully in the otherwise pitch-black sky.

Changbin didn’t know where he was going, but he didn’t care. His lungs and legs were burning with the unexpected extortion. The sweatpants and t-shirt he was wearing didn’t make for good running clothes, but that didn’t matter to him.

For a minute, he felt okay. He could even say that he felt good. For a minute, he had forgotten all about the fans and their vendetta against his happiness.

The wind had dried the tears off of his cheeks, and he just became another faceless person in the dark. Changbin didn’t think of himself as an idol, but rather a person who’s tight chest was slowly beginning to take in enough oxygen for his head to stop pounding.

He didn’t know how long he ran for that night. His mind had cleared completely of thoughts, and he wore himself out. He didn’t even notice the warning signs of exhaustion before he was throwing up in a patch of shrubs.

Slowly coming back to reality, Changbin realized he needed to get home. He wasn’t too far from the dorms, so once he gathered some strength back, he began walking.

It was hard to tell how long it took him before he was trudging up the stairs and letting himself through the front door. He tried to be as quiet as possible.

The clock on the stove read 12:24. Changbin knew that if any of the members had realized he was gone, that he would be in a world of trouble.

He took his running shoes off at the door and made his way to his and Felix’s room, expecting to see the younger boy playing video games or getting ready for bed. What he was not expecting was to see Felix sitting on Changbin’s own bed, frowning at the phone in his hands.

Felix’s eyes darted up like a meerkat, relief flooding his features when Changbin entered the room.

“Where the fuck have you been!” Felix sighed, jumping up from the bed to pull the older boy into a hug, “I came out of the shower to see you were gone, you weren’t answering your damn phone, I was fucking worried you asshole!”

Changbin repressed a smile as he pushed Felix away. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Felix scanned Changbin, his eyes narrowing into suspicious slits. “Did you go for a run?”

“Yeah,” Changbin answered.

“In... your sweats?” Felix fingered at the pockets of Changbin’s sweatpants, and the older boy swatted his fingers away.

Changbin nodded and flopped down onto his bed.

“Why didn’t you take your phone with you? I’ve been trying to call you,” Felix ran a hand through his hair, “Fucking hell,” he sighed.

“I don’t know, Lixie.” As soon as Changbin’s head hit the pillows beneath him, he felt the exhaustion from his midnight run catch up to him. “You should watch your language, by the way.” he mumbled, cracking a small grin.

“Changbin, seriously,” Felix climbed up beside him, “You’re fucking lucky! I was two seconds away from telling Chan, I swear to god.”

Changbin looked up and saw the lines of genuine concern stretch across the boy’s face.

Felix had always been a caring person. He was always dependable, and he was really a true friend. It didn’t matter if Changbin was older, because he knew that Felix would always be there to protect him.

Wordlessly, Changbin grabbed Felix by the arm and pulled him to lay down beside him. A fond smile graced his face.

“Thank you for worrying,” Changbin whispered, “but I’m fine.”

Felix sighed. There was a beat of silence where Felix closed his eyes, and Changbin had started to think he fell asleep. But then, “Are you okay?”

Changbin was stunned and confused for a second. “Yeah... why?”

“You don’t usually go for runs. Especially not late at night.” Felix whispered.

Changbin snaked an arm around Felix’s torso. “I was just having a bad day.”

Felix was fidgeting slightly. It looked like he was fighting some sort of internal battle about whether or not he should say what he wanted to say.

Changbin smiled at the nervousness. “What?” he encouraged.

Felix’s gaze caught Changbin’s eyes. “Was it the comments? About your weight gain?” he asked in a small voice.

Silence. There was no sound coming from anywhere in the dorm as Changbin processed the question. The smile that rested on his face immediately slipped away.

“I... I saw them on Twitter, and they pissed me off, so...” Felix trailed off, lowering his gaze, “I mean you haven’t even gained that much...”

“I gained the weight on purpose,” Changbin said when he zoned back in on Felix.

“Oh...” Felix’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Why? I mean, not that you don’t look good, but like... Why did you want to gain weight?”

Changbin thought about why he wanted to gain weight. He thought about Jisung’s drawing, the “V” face comments, the constant embarrassment around his appearance, and his own insecurities.

“It’s stupid.” Changbin dismissed, but of course, Felix kept digging.

“It’s not stupid. It’s just me, you can tell me.” he eased.

Changbin sighed. “You know... how people had been making jokes about my face? And my chin?”

Felix nodded, confusion showing again.

“I hated those comments.” he whispered. “I just got so insecure about my looks after people began to make those jokes, and I just... wanted to fix them.”

When Changbin looked at Felix, he saw that the confusion was still etched onto his features. “But...” Felix started, “you always laugh at those jokes.”

Changbin felt like shit for unloading this onto Felix, yet he continued to explain. “I’m good at laughing.”

The boys sat in silence for another minute. Felix seemed to be mulling over what he had been told, and Changbin watched the look of confusion melt into one of realization, and then sadness.

“I’m so sorry,” Felix breathed, “I... I didn’t know you felt like that. I would have never made those jokes.”

Changbin felt his heart crack. Felix almost sounded heartbroken, and it killed Changbin inside.

“But hyung...” Felix said, “you know that you don’t have to fix anything, right? You’re perfect. Don’t let them get to you.”

Teardrops were threatening to fall from Changbin’s eyes for the second time that night, except instead of being born out of pain, these tears were brought on by the overwhelming feeling of being loved.

“Okay...” was all Changbin could muster the strength to whisper. He didn’t trust his voice, so instead, he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his best friend’s forehead.

“You know what, hyung?”

Changbin hummed.

“I have dealt with so much hate because of so many things,” Felix sniffled away his own tears, “first they were upset because I wasn’t fluent in Korean, then they didn’t like my freckles, then it was my voice, and I thought that there was just no winning with them.” Felix closed his eyes.

Changbin didn’t even think about that. If any member was no stranger to criticism from online fans, it would be Felix.

The thought was crazy to Changbin. Why would anybody go out of their way to hurt somebody as sweet and perfect as Felix? The thought of somebody actually hating Felix for his mess of pretty freckles still amazed Changbin.

“But you know what I realized?” Felix continued, snapping Changbin out of his own thoughts, “It’s not my job to please everyone.”

“What do you mean, Lixie?” Changbin asked.

Felix opened his eyes again, “Like... I’m doing music for me, right? If people don’t like the way that I look or who I am, then that’s their problem, not mine. Get it?”

Changbin was amazed.

“How are you so young and yet more wise than half of the industry?” Changbin saw the light in Felix’s eyes, and it made him smile, too.

“I mean it still hurts sometimes, but... less now.”

Changbin agreed. He couldn’t see how reading vicious comments like that could ever end up getting easier.

“But now that I know you get comments and stuff that hurt you too, maybe we could... help each other. When it hurts a lot, you know?”

“Like you mean... I come to you when it hurts, and you come to me?” Changbin asked. It made him feel special to know that Felix trusted him enough to want to go to him for comfort. It made him feel like he wasn’t the only one that got happiness out of their relationship.

“Yeah, something like that,” he answered.

Changbin’s smile returned full force.

Felix was like sunshine, Changbin thought. This issue that seemed so horrible and painful to Changbin, now seems less than half as terrible since Felix was there for him. Since now, Felix was there to comfort him.

He didn’t care if it made him weak or less of a man, because he didn’t feel like he had to be strong when he was with Felix. Felix had always been comfortable in his emotions, and Changbin admired that about him.

“If you’re happy with the way that you look right now, you should keep it this way,” Felix encouraged him, “because for the record, I think you look better like this. You look happier.”

“I am happier,” Changbin whispered.

Shortly after that, the two boys fell asleep in Changbin’s bed, happy to have the support of their best friend.

Although it was hard at first, Changbin slowly became more confident in himself and his appearance to not care about how other people wanted him to look. Even when he slipped up, Felix always caught him with a hug, a smile, and a shoulder for him to rest his head.

For a while, Changbin had to fake his happiness during videos and variety shows. No matter how much he repressed it, the worry of how his fans would react to his appearance was always dangling in the back of his mind like an itch that he couldn’t scratch.

But it got better. Changbin found himself worrying less and less about what his fans thought, and more about what he thought. Over time, he didn’t have to fake his happiness. The fans had even noticed how Changbin’s growing confidence affected him.

And perhaps best of all, eventually began to laugh again. It wasn’t a fake laugh, or a laugh to cover his shame. It was a real laugh that honestly held his real happiness. And unlike how he laughed before, this laugh was the product of his self confidence and strength. No laugh could ever be brighter or fuller than his.

35 notes · View notes

panda-noosh · 4 years

Note

hello! i loved reading your work, they're SO GOOD and i don't think i've been happier 💕 do you mind writing a ghost cedric x reader? thank you i hope ur day is well!! ✨✨✨✨

Filch thought the halls were empty when he did his final rounds of the night. You know better.

You only leave your room when you hear the knock on the gargoyle outside. Nobody else bats an eyelid, mistaking the noise for a gust of window, or a painting getting restless – again, you know better.

No one else wants to admit what's really going on. Everyone else wants to think Cedric died, and he's peaceful now, living whatever life he wanted to live before the Dark Lord took it all away from him. People don't really talk about Cedric all that often any more, like his name is some kind of taboo. You don't complain; you see him almost every night, so it's not as if you're missing out.

You hear the knock tonight, as per usual, and make your way out of the Hufflepuff common room. A swift glance left and right lets you know the coast is clear, and that's when Cedric makes his appearance, a dazzling glimmer in the dim darkness of the Hogwarts hallways. He's smiling, as he is often is, with his hair slicked back and his feet hovering just a few inches off the floor. He was always taller than you, but now you have to look up at him just to see his eyes. Eyes that are dead and grey, but his eyes nonetheless.

Seeing him always has the same effect on you. Stomach flip, a moment if fear, disbelief that he's really here even though you saw his body in the gardens that day, cradled by Harry Potter. But then he reaches out, and his cold fingers brush a strand of hair from your face, and you realise with a start that none of this is fake, he is here, you can talk to him.

“You look very shiny tonight.”

Cedric chuckles. Cold air brushes your arms, and you have to fight to stop yourself from shivering. “Hello to you, too.”

“Let's get walking before someone in the common room hears us.”

“Aw, do they not wanna come out and say hi?”

You scoff. “They all miss you like mad, Ced, but they're also wimps – they'll call for McGonagall the second they lay eyes on you.”

Cedric scowls before the two of you set off along the hallway. It's so normal now, this feeling of bewilderment. You still have not been able to properly process the fact that Cedric is here, walking along beside you in his ghost form, that you were so lucky to have him come back and greet you.

“Have you spoken to Harry yet?” you find yourself asking, because this is the question you ask every time you see him.

He hollows out his cheeks. “You know I can't do that.”

“Why not? You can show yourself to me.”

“Because I want to show myself to you. Plus, you want to see me, and I know you want to see me.” He pauses, glancing back and forth as if waiting for someone to jump out at him. “I don't know if Harry wants to see me.”

“Of course he does. That poor lad probably hasn't stopped thinking of you since you. . . Well, you know.”

“That's the point, though. I think it would be better if he just stopped thinking about me, and we're never gonna get to that point if I keep showing up outside the Gryffindor common room every night.”

You sigh; it's Cedric's decision, of course, and you can definitely understand where he's coming from. Nonetheless, you're also the poor soul who has to watch Harry Potter mope around the hallways thinking he killed an innocent Hufflepuff. No matter how many times you let him know that Cedric isn't mad at him, he takes your words only as loose condolences. He has no idea that Cedric himself has actually passed the message along.

Lost in your thoughts, you don't notice Cedric swoop down until his cold fingers are looping through your own. It takes a lot of strength, he once told you, to tether himself to the real world, to feel things are he once did in his living years. You glance over to see him gritting his teeth, clearly putting a lot of effort into getting your attention back on him.

You chuckle, slipping your hand out of his. He immediately deflates, closing his eyes for a moment before grinning down at you.

“You zoned out.”

“Sorry,” you reply. “But don't do that again. You're gonna burst a blood vessel.”

He scoffs. “Don't tell me you don't miss holding my hand.”

You pause. You kind of hate it when he says things like that, because he says them with a smile. He says it like it's a joke, and maybe to him it is. To him, it's easy to perceive it that way, because he's just living his life. Nothing has changed for him. He gets to see the people he saw before, and he can speak to them if he so wishes – you, on the other hand, have the trauma of seeing your boyfriend laying dead in the grass. You do miss holding his hand. A lot. An awful lot.

Cedric swoops down again, blocking your path. His eyebrows are furrowed, a tiny crinkle forming between them that you so desperately want to flatten down, just as you used to, but even if you try, your hand will go right through him. “Hey. What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” you reply. “Let's just keep walking. I think the library should still be open-”

“You're lying. I can tell when you're lying.”

You hollow out your cheeks, stopping in your tracks. Cedric pauses, too, staring at you intensely.

“I just. . . Miss a lot of things,” you mumble. “Like holding your hand, for example.”

Cedric pulls back as if he's been slapped. You groan, making to reach for his arm, realising your mistake only seconds too late. Your fingers fall through his arm, and he notices, watching the action unfold as his expression slowly deadens to one of sadness and concern.

His eyes flick back to you.

You bite your lip. “Sorry. I know. . . I shouldn't be talking about stuff like this when I don't even get to see you that often. It just plays on my mind sometimes, that's all.”

“No,” Cedric says abruptly. “No, you have every right to be upset. Shit, Y/N, I didn't even think about that. Not properly.” He runs a hand through his hair. It flops back against his forehead. It brings memories back. “I'm a bit of a shit boyfriend, aren't I?”

Your eyes widen. “What? Cedric, no-”

“And I've been thinking,” he continues, speaking quickly now, like he's in a rush to get the words out before you can say anything to contradict him. “If you want to move on with someone else, I'm totally cool with that. Like, I am technically dead – you shouldn't feel tethered to me in any way.”

Your heart drops. It scares you, those words. The mere thought of moving on with anyone else makes you panic in a way that is most definitely unhealthy, but you can't help it. Cedric is right, of course – he is dead, and you should be moving on with your life, but it's early. You still have the image of his body planted behind your eyelids, can still remember how cold he felt when you fell to your knees and grabbed his hand, screaming out for help that was never going to be successful.

You shake your head like a dog getting dry. “Cedric, stop. Stop talking like that.”

“You're going to have to move on eventually,” he says. “Just because I'm here doesn't mean I expect you to stay with me the rest of your life. My life was over a while ago-”

“Two months ago!” you exclaim. Cedric winces as your voice echoes off the stone walls, but you don't care any more.

“Okay, two months ago,” he says. “But don't you think it's time you start forgetting about me? About us?”

His voice trembles. You watch him when he speaks, the way his bottom lip shakes, his Adams apple bobbing, like the words are difficult to get out. You know he means it; he wants you to move on and be happy, and you know you're going to have to do just that at some point, but right now, you don't want anyone else.

You step forward and reach out, letting your fingers glide through his delicately. He stiffens at the touch, looking down at you with heavy lidded eyes.

“I love you, Cedric,” you say. “Now, and forever, I love you. Let's just enjoy what we have right now and we can worry about everything else when life catches up to us, yeah?”

His shoulders slump. “Baby-”

“Please, Ced. I lost you once. Let me recover before I lose you a second time.”

He stares for a second longer before nodding. Then, gritting his teeth, he turns his hand over and gives your hand a squeeze, cold but familiar. You don't know how you're ever going to let go of it.

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ververa · 4 years

Text

Broken like me

A/N: There’s gonna be a 2nd part probably - if I manage to pull myslef together and write it. But I’m doing my best.

Hope you enjoy it <3

Cordelia Goode x fem!reader

Words: 2,200

You had always known that you’re the one who needed to make it through life on your own. There was nobody who could help you or who was willing to help you at least. You’re fine for most of the time though. That’s what you kept telling yourself everyday looking in the mirror.

You didn’t want your life to be just a dreadful misfortune that befell you. Your teacher taught you that everything happens for a reason and life is a gift. So, you treated it that way. But no matter how hard you tried, you’re slowly turning colder and colder as more bad things kept happening to you. Before you knew you became numb and went into bad company.

Parties, alcohol, drugs… You’re using them as an escape from your problems, but they’re actually leading you to even bigger troubles.

“You’re fine Y/N. You can do it. You’ve got it!” you kept telling yourself every morning feeling that you’re falling apart

You would most likely break down if a woman from social service and a police officer hadn’t knocked at the door of your apartment. They’re there with your younger sister. They didn’t need to say anything, because you already knew something bad had happened. And you’re right - your parents had had a car accident.

“Miss Y/N… I’m really sorry”

You said nothing. You couldn’t speak at that moment. You only looked at your little sister - Ava and smiled trying to stop the tears. You knew she still didn’t really get what’s going on. She was barely 5 after all. And that’s when your life changed forever. Since then you’re not on your own anymore. You had a little child that you’re supposed to provide for.

It’s really hard to get everything done. Your college was hell and at the club, where you had got a job, you weren’t paid enough to support both you and your sister.

You’re devastated and furious, simply because you’re not able to get everything done. You needed to pay for the apartment, buy food, clothes and pay for your sister’s school. You’re a nervous wreck. That’s when your so called friend helped you with finding another job - a better one, as she said.

“Look, there is that agency… They need young, pretty girls such as yourself… You just go out with rich people…”

You knew exactly what your friend was doing and you didn’t really like it. That’s not what you wanted to do in your life, so you’re hesitant.

“I know you don’t like being close with people, but you don’t always have to have sex with them… Think about your sister Y/N. She deserves to have a good life, doesn’t she?”

Of course she did deserve a good life and you wanted your sister to have a better and happier life than you did. That’s probably the only reason why you opted for that job.

It wasn’t easy. Especially at the beginning. Actually you hated it, but you couldn’t deny that thanks to that job your life changed and became a bit easier. At least when it came to your finance. You had whatever you wanted and could buy anything your sister wished for.

You're pretty and your job taught you how to use it. And so you did. You rarely had to do more than going out with some rich people and keeping them company. Usually you met with someone new every week, until one man appeared. He didn't want you or your body. He was gay, but had to pretend he's straight and you're supposed to "play" his girlfriend.

Roman was a gentleman. He got to know you pretty well, as he became your only client for a long time.

"Y/N you don't need to do anything. All I need from you is to look pretty and not meet with anyone else"

"I mean yes, but that's what I'm supposed to do to earn money…"

"I'll pay for everything. Don't worry about the money"

So, you stayed at home and focused on your studies. You liked it at first, but soon you realized you miss all the attention you're getting. All the compliments, praises, presents. You didn't complain though. Roman took care of everything and you even became friends. Thanks to him you met the first person you ever loved.

You met her at a party. You're there with Roman. You had to be by his side almost all the time, which was not only tiring, but also kind of boring. That's why you got quite excited knowing that the blonde woman was watching you.

After 3 or so hours of pretending you're done. You needed a break, so you went to the toilet and lit a cigarette.

"Isn't he too old for you?" you heard a female voice

You turned back and saw the woman who's looking at you for the whole night.

"He could be your father…." she stated

"He's a good friend. I'm helping him and he's helping me" you shrugged

"By sleeping with him? I mean I don't judge. I understand that some girls are looking for stability…"

"No. Some girls need money, because there's no one they can count on" you snarled

"I'm sorry" the woman sat down on a windowsill next to you "I didn't mean to offend you" she placed her hand on yours

You looked at her. Normally you'd be annoyed when someone touched you, but it's different with her. Something about her made you calm.

"Wouldn't you prefer to find someone younger, who would try to be there for you?"

"I'm not sure if that's possible"

"Why?"

"It's complicated"

"Explain then?"

"I… I just do what has to be done, because we need money"

Cordelia frowned trying to read your unreadable face expression. After a moment she offered you her hand.

"I'm…" she wanted to introduce herself, but you already knew her

"Cordelia Goode, the Supreme, yes I know"

She smiled still holding your hand.

"What's your name then?"

"I'm Y/N"

"Y/N what?"

"Just Y/N" you said standing up "It's nice to meet you Mrs Goode" you smiled and moved to the door

"It's Cordelia"

"Of course" you said and left

You had been to a lot of different parties with Roman, but you had never met Cordelia before. You had no idea they’re friends actually and you definitely didn’t expect that it would affect you in any way. Yet it did.

After his brother’s death Roman was taking care of his niece. You knew that, because the two of you befriended, but you didn’t know the girl was a witch and was at the academy, where Cordelia was in charge.

You had no idea Cordelia was interested in you as well. You stopped noticing such things when you began working at the agency. That job totally changed your way of perceiving love.

Cordelia on the other hand felt more powerful than ever. She was the Supreme after all. She was capable of having whatever she wanted - and she wanted you. She couldn’t really explain it, but something about you was attracting her and there was nothing to do about it, but get you. Yet despite her power Cordelia still was a caring and empathetic woman. She didn’t want to use you and hurting you was the last thing on her mind. So, when Roman told her he’s going to leave and that you’d have to go back to working just like the rest of the young women in the agency Cordelia decided to take matters into her own hands. They talked it over and made a deal, but nobody told you about the changes.

You did feel like something was not quite okay on your way to the hotel. Roman had never made you go to any hotel before. You had always met at his place or he just picked you up, so that you could go to some party together. But there you were - at the door of the hotel room. You knocked and waited for Roman to open. But instead of him the door was opened by Cordelia. You stood there a bit shocked and confused.

"I… Is Roman here?"

Cordelia smiled "No, he's not"

"Oh… umm okay. I guess I misunderstood something…"

"No, honey, you didn't. Come in"

'Honey'? That took you by surprise.

You came in and looked around. The room was huge and really fancy, but you knew immediately that it wasn't Roman who had chose that place.

"So, where is he?"

"That's a long story. Would you like some wine?"

You looked at her once again. She was dressed up and looked even better than at the party where you met. That's when you got it…

"Sit down Y/N" she said approaching you with two glasses of wine

You did as you're told and then you were handed one of the glasses. You looked at her anticipating what could come next. But Cordelia didn't say a single word.

For some reason her confidence disappeared when she saw you. You're so young and beautiful.

You knew that look that she had in her eyes. You knew what she wanted and that made you feel weird. Obviously you wanted attention and adoration and from the moment you met her you wanted her to want you, but at the same time you didn't want her to be like everyone else.

So, you say there in silence - looking at each other from time to time.

"So…" you started "I assume that I'm your toy now and Roman won't come, will be?"

"Roman had to leave and we didn't want you to…" she paused "We just decided I could take his place" she said nervously

" 'we'?" you repeated "And you didn't think that maybe I should know about it?"

"Y/N… we just didn't want you to feel… bad or uncomfortable"

You rolled your eyes and stood up. You placed your glasses on a table and began to unzip your dress.

"What are you doing?"

"Undressing. Let's get this over with. That's why I'm here for, right?"

"Actually, I was hoping that you'll have a dinner with me"

You stopped in your tracks.

"Dinner… with you?"

"Yes" she said standing up and approaching you "I thought we could get to know each other better" Cordelia took a long coat and held it for you to put on. You said nothing. Your brain stopped at the words 'get to know each other better', because no one had wanted that before. That's quite unexpected, but you didn't protest.

Cordelia took you to a restaurant downstairs at the hotel. You sat at the table far from the other people and ordered.

"Tell me something about yourself" she asked

"About myself?"

"Yes" she smiled "Because for now I only know your name"

"Well, there's nothing much to say. My life isn't interesting at all"

"Well, you seem to be a very interesting person"

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything"

"Umm… I don't really like talking about myself. I mean no one really cares" you shrugged

"I do"

"No you don't"

"I do"

"Mrs Goode…"

"It's Cordelia" she corrected you

"You don't... You don't know me and you don't want to know me. You don't need to pretend... I don't expect you to care. It's fine"

“I really do. Honestly, Y/N, I want to get to know you better” Cordelia said carefully taking your hand “But only if you’re okay with telling me”

The sudden touch took you by surprise. No one had held your hand like that - so gently - for a very long time.

“I…” you hesitated “I don’t talk about myself, because people don’t like it. Every time I let someone close to me… they leave. And with every person that leaves I lose a part of myself. It’s not even that I don’t want to tell you. It’s that you’ll leave too Cordelia and there’s not much left of real me and I just can’t lose that part, because if I do… then who will I become?”

The Supreme smiled sadly and gently squeezed your hand.

“I’m sorry” you said not looking at her

“You don’t need to be sorry, sweetheart. You haven’t done anything wrong, okay? You don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

You looked at her and saw her beautiful smile. You nodded and tried to smile back, but you knew very well you failed to do so.

“I know you probably think I won’t understand” she continued “But trust me, I’ve been through a lot myself, so if you ever change your mind, just know I’ll listen”

You dared to raise your eyes, simply because you wanted to know that she meant it. And one look was enough for you to be sure she did. You always believed that all the truth was in people’s eyes, that eyes were the door to a person’s soul. But you’re quite sure you had never seen more beautiful eyes - in which you could see nothing, but honesty, understanding and care. That’s when you couldn’t help it and thought to yourself - “You’re broken like me…”

Also I’m gonna make a new tag list, so let me know if you’d like to be tagged :)

#cordelia goode x reader #sarah paulson imagine #AHS #ahs imagine #ahs coven

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itsyabtsbitch · 5 years

Text

BTS Reaction to you finding out they are a Vampire

Note: AHH, thank you so much!💜 You are so sweet :( I'm so happy that you guys seem to like the supernatural reactions, because I have a lot of fun writing them! I hope you also love this one, some of them got really long xD

(Ps, to everybody else that requested something: It can take some time for me to write it, but I will try to finish all requests.)

Requests are open!

Jin

You stood still in shock.

Did you really just hear Jin talking about getting some guys blood?

You must have heard something wrong, right? Nodding your head, you were about to continue your way into the kitchen, when you perceived a sentence that made your breath stuck in your throat. ,,I need at least 7 blood bags, it's been a rough week for me. Can you also make sure it's A and not B? B tastes too sweet." He made a disgusted noise to bring his point across.

Oh shit...were you dating a psychopath?! You definitely needed to get out of the house as soon as possible.

Running down the hallway, you sprinted towards your keys, only to start panicking once you remembered they were in the same room as Jin. Of course this had to happen to you. Reminding yourself to take a deep breath, you slowly walked into the bedroom where he apparently stopped his phone call. Jin didn't see you before, so you should be fine. At least that's what you hope.

,,Princess are you okay?" Stopping on your way to your nightstand, you simply nodded. ,,Then why are you so nervous?"

Oh no. For a few seconds nobody said anything. Jin was confused and you were scared to death.

He took another 5 seconds to put two and two together, but when he finally understood what happened, he felt bad. ,,Look, I know you're probably really shocked and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner...but I just didn't want you to run away from me because I'm a vampire, you know."

Wait a minute.

,,You are a vampire?!"

Opening his mouth, he suddenly looked around the room. ,,I thought you heard me talking on the phone and that's why you're freaking out?!"

,,I did. But I thought you were some kind of psycho..."

Well, vampire makes more sense.

Namjoon

Namjoon is clumsy, everbody knows that.

But breaking three plates, a vase, the TV and somehow cutting your hand in the process, was a new record even for him.

He hastily stood up to run over to you and take you away from all the shattered glas, but stopped himself in the last second when he saw your delicious blood running down your fingers. Oh, how he wanted to taste it...just a tiny bite in your neck would be everything he needed...

,,Joonie?! A little help would be appreciated!" Your angry voice snapped him back into reality. Sadly, the control it took in Namjoon to stay in his place, did not include keeping his eyes at a normal colour. So what he saw next, was you going from pissed to confused and then to shocked.

Stumbling back, you almost stepped into one of the shards, if Namjoon hadn't caught you. The sudden close proximity made you yelp and scream at the veins going down his eyes. A guilty look crossed his eyes before he said the two words that would haunt you in your dreams for weeks to come.

,,Jagiya, run."

You definitely didn't expect your movie night to turn out this way.

Hoseok

It was your first time meeting Hoseok's best friends and you were really nervous. You wanted to impress not only them, but also your boyfriend. Together, you guys decided it was best to make a simple dinner, so all of you could get to know each other.

About 3 hours in, you could gladly say that Hoseok kept great people around him. Even though some of them talked in a weird way, like they lived in the past, you were still able to have a good time with everyone.

Seokjin, the oldest in the room, turned to you and looked you up and down. His intense gaze made goosebumps appear on your skin. Narrowing his eyes, he seemed to be confused by something. A cough broke Jimin's and Jungkook's conversation about banana milk and made everyone look at Jin. ,,Hoseok, why haven't you bitten her yet? You know it's dangerous for her to walk around like a wrapped up snack, when everyone around you can't tell that she's yours. It's like you give them an open invitation for dinner. You know the other vampires would never decline."

Silence.

Absolute silence.

The thumping of your own heart was ringing in your ears and made you question if the others could also hear it. Since you're apparently dining with vampires, yes.

Slowly moving your head to the right, your eyes met the ones of a furious Hoseok. ,,Vampires?" The question was more for yourself than him, so it came out as a whisper. Suddenly realising that Hoseok hadn't told you anything about that part of him, Jin held his hands up in the air. ,,I'm so sorry! I thought she knew!" Poor Jin. He would have to pay for this mistake for a long time.

Yoongi

He had a plan.

One day, when he felt like it was the right time, he would tell you about his true self. He would pick a moment where he knew he could trust you and you would still love him, despite the difference in your nature.

....Yeah, he could scratch that plan because you ruined it. But it was his own fault!

Yoongi knew that you were a curious person, so he can't ask for you to not go into his office. "There is a lock on there for a reason, princess. Please just trust me" he said. Well, what if he was a serial killer and hid all of the dead bodies in there? That's a meaningful thought, right? You obviously couldn't risk dating a psycho. That's why you took the key he hid (unprofessionally) under his pillow and opened the door to his secret room.

Fuck.

There wasn't exactly noticable dead bodies laying on the ground, but the coffin in the middle of the room looked pretty suspicious to you. ,,Didn't I tell you not to go in here?"

Jumping in shock, you walked backwards to create some space between you and Yoongi. ,,Did you kill someone?" Maybe that wasn't the smartest question, but it was the only thing stuck in your mind at that moment.

He shook his head. ,,That's my coffin." ,,What do you mean your coffin? Yoongi, you aren't dead!" He raised his brows.

,,I'm not?"

Maybe he wanted to tell you in a different way, but this was also really amusing.

Jimin

He didn't expect you to be home for at least another hour, but your boss had a family problem, so he told you that you could leave work earlier. You were beyond tired and the only thing on your mind for when you got home, was to lay down in bed with Jimin and cuddle all day. Apparently, fate had a different plan. Opening the door, you were met with the sight of Jimin drinking a deep-red liquid out of a clear bag....it looks a lot like-

,,Is that a blood bag?" Startled, Jimin let go of his treat and stared up at you with big eyes. The once filled bag burst, painting your floor to look like a crime scene. ,,What are you doing here so early?" Shaking your head, you took a step back...just in case. ,,I asked you a question first." Jimin sighed. ,,Okay...I guess it's finally time to tell you the truth. I'm a vampire." You would have laughed in disbelieve and ask Jimin to finally be honest, or you were gone, but the shiny fangs that were showing as he was biting his lip, proved you wrong. You were really dating a vampire.

Taehyung

You noticed that Taehyung loved to collect all of his memories. It started with simple things, like a teddy bear he won for you at a fair, or the watch you gave him as a present for his birthday. Later, you found boxes filled with polaroids, stashed away in his supply closet. Smiling, you sat one of the boxes down in the middle of the bed and grabbed a handful of pictures. Half of the polaroids consisted of photos you and Taehyung have taken, while the other one was of him and his friends. At the bottom of the box, you noticed extremely old looking pictures. Taking them out, the first one was a polaroid of Taehyung's great grandmother. He had once told you that she was a pilot and the plane in the background proved his statement. Switching the pictures, your heart stopped for a second at what you saw. It was Taehyung, wrapping his arm around the same woman you saw in the last picture and looking almost the same as now. That's not possible. Taehyung told me she was dead when he was was born. Throwing the rest of the photos on the sheets, your eyes seemed to grow twice in size. On every single picture Taehyung was standing with his old family members, not even aging a little bit. You weren't stupid. You knew what that meant.

,,I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was afraid of how you would react." There he was, leaning against the doorframe and looking at you with a sad smile on his face. You should feel scared of him, angry or betrayed, but you only felt excitement. Your future would be very interesting.

Jungkook

You were such a fool.

Jungkook was bi and you didn't know?! You should feel bad for not noticing sooner, but given the situation the only thing you felt was betrayal. Did he really have to find out by cheating on you? Apparently, since it seemed like he had a pretty good time sucking hickies on this guys neck. Taking a closer look, you realised the guy was Taehyung, Jungkook's best friend.

,,Are you serious right now?!" Laughing in disbelieve, you turned around to head to the door. Behind you, a gasp and what sounded a lot like a whine echoud in the living room. ,,Princess, wait! I can explain!" You sighed. ,,There's nothing to explain Jungkook. I understand. You don't feel attrackted to me anymore and Taehyung is a good looking guy...I just need some time to get over it." Uncomfortable silence spread in the room, until the one person you couldn't be more jealous of right now stood up and walked over to you. ,,Uhm...This isn't really my place to say something, but Y/N I think you got something wrong...It's not-"

A single blood droplet finding it's way down Taehyung's collarbone, made you tune out anything else he was saying. Since when did Jungkook like it this rough? You clenched your hands in frustration. Why did you only know so little about Jungkook? Were you such a bad partner? Sensing that you completely misunderstood the situation, Jungkook did the only thing he could think of right now. Telling you the truth.

,,I'm a vampire!"

...what?

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