#I don’t understand most doctor who arguments because it all boils down to just let people have fun

[shot-in-the-sky]

You can fight me on it but doctor who has no cannon. It’s all true and none of it’s true and Richard E Grant is the ninth doctor twice and the great intelligence. David Tennant is every minor and major character he can get access to and so will Peter Capaldi and so will Mark Gatiss. Christopher Ecclestone will never be in the show again but he has some great extended universe stuff that you don’t have to listen to. Every controversial choice the show has ever made is only true to the extent you want to embrace it - as long as other people are allowed to like what you don’t like. Even the most hated decisions in the shows history have bought someone joy.

#doctor who #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #david tennant #the doctor #I don’t understand most doctor who arguments because it all boils down to just let people have fun #there are things to criticise in the show but for me it’s real world stuff and not the cannon

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Corruption

“Corruption” conjures images of bags of cash changing hands in deserted parking garages, but I’d like to propose a simple and concrete definition that goes beyond that: “Corruption” is when something bad happens because its harms are diffused and its gains are concentrated.

Here’s what I mean. West Virginia is known as coal country, but coal is actually a small, dwindling industry in WV; WV’s biggest industry is chemical processing, dominated by Dow — chem processing, like many industries, is heavily concentrated into a few global monopolies.

WV has a water crisis, with frequent “boil water” advisories. Its origins are in the chemical industry — specifically, in a regulatory proceeding where state regulators sought comment on whether to relax the EPA’s national guidelines on chemical runoff into drinking water.

Dow, acting through the manufacturers’ association it controls, argued the people of WV could absorb more poison than the national average because they were much fatter than the median American, and when they drank, it was mostly beer, not water.

https://washingtonmonthly.com/2019/03/14/the-real-elitists-looking-down-on-trump-voters/

No, really.

Here’s the thing. I’m not qualified to set the safe levels of different kinds of runoff in water-tables. It’s probably not zero (at least, not for most chemicals), but it’s also not “anything goes.”

It’s a question that requires subtle, interdisciplinary expertise: chemistry, health, environmental science. It’s an area where people of good faith can disagree.

These thorny, high-stakes technical questions that cross disciplines are the norm, not the exception.

Even if you have the technical knowhow to evaluate whether wearing masks fights covid, that doesn’t answer questions about vaccine safety, or whether zoom-school will turn your kid into an ignoramus.

Answer those questions and you’re left with still more: should you get in one of Southwest’s recertified Boeing 737-Max airplanes? Is the code specifying the reinforced steel joist that holds up your roof adequate, or is your building gonna collapse?

Should you eat carbs? Will your 401k preserve you through a dignified retirement? Answering all of these questions definitively for yourself requires earning 50+ PhDs, but also, people who have those PhDs don’t all agree with one another.

In a technologically complex world, there will always be official advice whose technical arguments we can’t understand. Our only reassurance is the process by which that advice is arrived at.

We may not understand the arguments, but we can recognize an open, independent process refereed by neutral regulators who show their work and recuse themselves if they have a conflict of interest.

We don’t always understand what goes on inside the box, but we can tell whether the box itself is sound. We can tell judges are financially interested in outcomes, whether they publish their deliberations, whether they revisit their conclusions in light of new evidence.

That’s all we’ve got, and it depends on a balance of powers that arises from a pluralistic, diffused set of industrial interests.

When an industry says with one voice that West Virginians are so fat that we can poison them without injury, it carries a lot of weight.

(so to speak)

It’s a stupid argument. It’s a wicked argument. It’s a lethal argument. It’s the kind of argument that might get you laughed out of the room if it is filled with hundreds of squabbling chemical companies looking to dunk on one another.

That’s the thing about conspiracies (and Dow was, in fact, engaged in a conspiracy to poison West Virginians to enrich its shareholders) — they require a lot of discipline, with all the conspirators remaining loyal to the conspiracy and no one breaking ranks.

The bigger a group is, the more it struggles to keep a united front. That’s why there’s so much billionaire class solidarity. Sure, it’s hard to maintain unity among a clutch of grandiose maniacs, but it’s much harder to maintain unity among billions of their victims.

Monopolization is corruption’s handmaiden — not just because it lets Dow hire fancy lawyers and “experts” to dress up “fat people are immune to poison” as sound policy, but because the industry can sing that awfful song with one voice.

Dow spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to win a policy that will save it millions — and cost the people of WV hundreds of millions or even billions in health costs, lost productivity, and, of course, the intergenerational trauma of ruined and lost human lives.

The reason millions in gains can trump billions in losses is that that the millions are reaped by just a few firms, who can wield them with precision to secure the continued right to impose costs on the rest of us, while the losses are spread out across the whole state.

For Dow to corrupt West Virginia’s legislature, it need only tithe a small percentage of its winnings to political causes and dark money orgs.

For West Virginians to fight corruption in the cash-money world of political influence campaigns, they have to overcome their collective action problem and outspend Dow — all while bearing the human and monetary costs of Dow’s corruption.

America is a land of manifest, obvious dysfunctions, and close examination reveals their common root in corruption.

Take the health-care system: Americans pay more for worse outcomes than anyone else in the rich world.

Their healthcare is rationed by faceless, cruel bureaucracies. They ration their medicine or skip necessary procedures. Patients hate this — but so do doctors and nurses, who have to hire armies of bureaucrats to fight with insurers.

Everyone hates this system. Everyone knows it’s rotten. Everyone — except for a handful of pharma, hospital and insurance monopolists, and the propagandists they pay to busily race through the crowd, busily swapping hats and shouting, “SOCIALISM! BOO! SOCIALISM!”

But while the US healthcare system is terrible at providing healthcare, it’s very good at jackpotting for monopolists. They reap billions while costing the public trillions, and they hand around millions to keep that situation intact.

We can see that in action right now. Nina Turner is running to take over a Congressional seat in northeastern Ohio vacated by Marcia Fudge when she joined Biden’s cabinet.

https://www.dailyposter.com/dems-launch-proxy-war-on-medicare-for-all/

For 30 years, every Congressional rep for Ohio’s 11th supported Medicare for All — a commensense measure to end the long waits, price gouging and cruel bureaucratic rationing of for-profit care. Unsurprisingly, Turner also supports M4A.

https://twitter.com/ninaturner/status/1404793650895331337?s=20

In response, a group of corporate, establishment Congressional Dems have launched an all-out attack on Turner’s candidacy, joining forces with health-care lobbyists to raise vast corporate fortunes to support her primary challenger, Shontel Brown.

The seven Dem lawmakers attacking Turner have collectively taken in $5m from pharma and health-care monopolists. James E Clyburn alone has pocketed $1m from pharma. He’s leading the charge against Turner.

https://twitter.com/TaylorPopielarz/status/1405121330433957888

Before Clyburn accepted $1m worth of pharma money, he co-sponsored Medicare For All legislation. Now he’s its most bitter opponent, insisting that it’s political poison (a majority of his constituents support M4A).

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2020-election/live-blog/south-carolina-primary-live-updates-democrats-vote-2020-candidates-n1145296/ncrd1146076

One million people in Ohio lost their jobs — and health care — during the pandemic. The system is murdering and maiming people. It’s a wasteful boondoggle that’s bad for everyone except a tiny minority of shareholders and the corrupt officials who accept their blood-money.

It’s not just healthcare. Think of Exxon Mobil’s crime against humanity and Earth: the 40-year coverup and disinformation campaign to delay action on the climate emergency. Exxon spent millions, made tens of billions, and cost us all trillions.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/jun/30/climate-crisis-crime-fossil-fuels-environment

The megadroughts, once-in-millennium heatwaves, raging wildfires, annual floods-of-the-century and zoonitic plagues Exxon bought with their millions were objectively a very bad deal — but their concentrated gains beat our much larger diffused losses (so far). #ExxonKnew.

But corruption creates policy debt, and the interest on that debt compounds — in a degraded environment, worsening health, precarious work, and a collapse in trust in institutions. The corrupt have a structural advantage, but it’s not a sure thing.

Take Ohio (again). The GOP-dominated Senate passed legislation to ban Ohio cities from offering municipal broadband. Now, municipal broadband is the best internet in America: cheaper, faster and more reliable than anything the telecoms monopolists offer.

There are ~900 (mostly Republican) towns and counties where people get their internet from their local government:

https://muninetworks.org/communitymap

And they fucking love it, just as much as their Comcast-burdened peers elsewhere hate their service:

https://web.archive.org/web/20180808223947/https://www.consumerreports.org/phone-tv-internet-bundles/people-still-dont-like-their-cable-companies-telecom-survey/

Muni networks are better at everything to do with the internet: connection speeds, price, and customer service. There’s only one area in which they underperform relative to telecoms monopolies: generating profits for shareholders by overcharging and underinvesting.

There’s only a tiny minority of people who’d trade good internet service for profitable internet service (namely, the people receiving the profits). But the pro-monopolists have concentrated gains, while the public experiences diffused losses.

That’s why the Ohio Senate passed its budget bill banning municipal networks. But when the budget was reconciled in the Ohio House, the measure was killed, thanks to an all-out uprising led by the people of Fairlawn, who stepped up to defend Fairlawngig, their muni ISP.

The victory for muni broadband is a triumph of evidence over corruption — proof that the diffused nature of corruption losses can be overcome. It’s cause for hope, especially in light of this week’s collapse of the antitrust case against Facebook.

https://www.wired.com/story/ftc-antitrust-case-against-facebook-very-much-alive/

Facebook escaped justice by citing the theories of Robert Bork, Nixon’s chief criminal co-conspirator and Ronald Reagan’s court sorcerer. Bork insisted that anittrust law had but one purpose: to keep prices down.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/28/dubious-quant-residue/#incinerators-r-us

Any other consideration, especially political corruption arising from market concentration, was out of scope.

The court agreed. No surprise; 40% of the US Federal judiciary has attended a lavish “Manne Seminar,” junkets where they are indoctrinated into Borkism.

But the absurdity of ruling that Facebook isn’t a fit subject for anti-monopoly law is the beginning of the end for Borkism, prompting bipartisan calls — led by Elizabeth Warren — to explicitly redesign American antitrust.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/other/facebooks-surprise-antitrust-victory-could-inspire-congress-to-overhaul-the-rules-entirely/ar-AALCJz8

Corruption has many costs: monetary, human, environmental. But every bit as important is the cost to institutional credibility. Remember, none of us are capable of understanding the technical nuances of the dozens of life-or-death decisions we face daily.

If we can’t trust our institutions — if we don’t believe that regulators are neutral, good-faith experts in ardent pursuit of the truth and the public good — then our very idea of shared reality collapses, as Snowden has written:

https://edwardsnowden.substack.com/p/conspiracy-pt1

It’s hard to overstate the sheer, reeling epistemological terror of institutional collapse. When the EPA allows the chemical industry to poison America, how can you know whether the products in the store can be trusted not to kill your family?

https://theintercept.com/2021/06/30/epa-pesticides-exposure-opp/

Remember, the Flint water crisis came about as the result of corruption: the promises of “experts” that taking shortcuts to save money would come out all right, despite the copious evidence to the contrary.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flint_Water_Crisis

What parent of a permanently damaged child, poisoned by lead deliberately introduced to save pittances for a tiny group of people, could ever trust any “expert” process again?

Michigan Republicans saved millions at the expense of billions, but the gains were concentrated among the wealthy white taxpayers of the state who enjoyed cuts to the top marginal rate, and the costs were born by the Black families of Flint. That’s corruption.

#pluralistic

[whumpzone]

Tomas and Rowe - Part 11

this chapter was tough, and I might never be totally happy with it, but I hope you all still enjoy it! I’m doing my best to keep to the fortnightly updates <3

Masterpost

taglist: @sola-whumping @just-another-whumper @misspelledwitch @looptheloup @briars7 @black-polarf @zipadeedooda-drabbles @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @rosesareviolentlyread @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @jazz-0307 @kestrelsparverius @whumpsy-daisies @whumpersworld @memoriesneverforget @sky-or-something-idfk @ghostcomit @cupcakes-and-pain @frankieswhump @ihaventwritteninsolong @mybrokenlittletoy @kiretto-laorentze @morelikepainsley @lave-e @tears-and-lilies @whump-me-all-night-long @newbornwhumperfly (just ask if you want to be added! thank you all!)

CW: pet whumpee, dehumanisation, hospitals

-

"Hey," came a voice. When Rowe didn’t immediately wake up, a slap landed across his face. It ground the muzzle deeper into his flesh and forced him awake, wide-eyed and cowering. He was lucky to be spoken to first, of course. Usually he’d be hit without any warning. "Wake up Mutt. You’re finished here."

. . .

"Why couldn’t he come meet me in the waiting room?" Tomas asked the orderly.

"The exit is just this way. We find that most Pet owners like to be discrete in this kind of situation."

The ‘discrete’ room was divided into small curtained cubicles. The orderly left without a word after pointing Tomas towards Rowe, and Tomas was grateful for that at least. Rowe looked horrific. His wrists were strapped into a wheelchair- like he had any intention of running away, given the splint fixed around his left leg. His head flopped to one side, eyes closed, and a thick muzzle was clamped over poor Rowe’s face. His Rowe, that someone had bound and muzzled and hurt. The surge of protectiveness scared Tomas. It felt too close to ownership.

He went to take a closer look at Rowe’s legs, when a hand appeared in his line of sight. Tomas shook it without thinking.

"Hello, you must be the owner. Mr… Grzegorzewski? I’m Dr Scarlett Easton, and this is Dr Jacob Clerval."

"Ah, pleased to meet you both," Tomas said weakly. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Rowe’s head twitch. He’s awake, then. "He was bad enough to need two doctors, then?"

Rowe flinched, ever so slightly, at the word bad.

"He? Aw, that’s quite cute," smiled Dr Easton. Tomas wished everyone would stop commenting on that. "Dr Clerval here is quite new, so he’s been observing. We thought he might be needed, but only one leg was broken, as it happens. We’ve put it in a splint. The other one just needed stitches."

"Right, that’s good then. And the restraints, I… was he being troublesome?"

Tomas chanced a glance in Rowe’s direction. His eyes were full and apologetic, and Tomas wanted to reassure him that everything was okay, but he couldn’t. Not yet.

"Spoke out of turn."

"Mm. But we could get the arms down without a problem. So there’s hope still," the young doctor said with a smile. Tomas realised a few seconds too late that he was making a joke. It felt too weird to speak about Rowe like he wasn’t even in the room. Discussing him without letting him have a say in the matter. Rowe, of course, looked completely used to it. He sat perfectly still, and it only angered Tomas more. It was normal! Rowe was on his best behaviour despite being muzzled like a bad dog because he’d be hurt if he wasn’t, and that was just normal and expected and understood. It made Tomas’s blood boil. He needed to get Rowe home.

. . .

Rowe’s heart jumped when he heard Master’s voice. The painful fog lifted. Master Master Master. He was here. He didn’t abandon Rowe. He was here and that was worth any punishment he’d give out when Rowe got home. He didn’t remember ever being so happy to see his old master, but he didn’t dwell on that. Master, they fixed my legs. Please take me back home. You said I can have wants. I want to go back home and serve you and let you do whatever you want to me.

The two doctors were talking about Rowe, and Master glanced over a few times, but not to look at Rowe’s legs. He was looking into Rowe’s eyes, staring at him from under his blond curls and Rowe couldn’t understand because that wasn’t where he’d been hurt. He wanted to survey the work the doctors had done, right?

"Okay, thank you," said Master, and his voice was so familiar, so calm and clear and measured, and even through his shame Rowe’s spirits lifted. "I don’t think this wheelchair will be necessary from now on, thanks."

. . .

"That’s handy, because we need it back anyway. And the muzzle."

Tomas tried to act like someone who didn’t care because he had one at home anyway. Rowe kept his eyes down as his mouth was released and again Tomas just wanted to scream at them, because for goodness sake he’s bleeding, and it was fastened over a barely-healed broken nose, and you’re all acting like it doesn’t fucking matter.

"Have you brought a cage for it?"

"If you haven’t brought a cage then he will need carrying, sir."

"That’s- I can get him home fine, thanks."

"Whatever," Tomas muttered, scooping Rowe into his arms without a second thought. He was still light even with the addition of the splint. Rowe didn’t react except to bury his face into Tomas’s neck as he turned on his heel and left.

"Hey, Rowe," he said gently as soon as they were outside. "How do you feel, pal?"

"M-Master," he said weakly.

"I’m here, I promise. Does it hurt?"

"It d-doesn’t matter…"

No Master for once. That was probably not a good sign, right now. "Can you tell me anyway?" Tomas was careful to avoid sounding like Rowe was being rude, or disobedient, or forcing him to tell him out of fear.

"U-uh, it hurts on m-my legs, M-Master. And m-my face."

"From the muzzle, right? Little bastards. I never said they could do that to you."

"I s-spoke without permission, Master."

"Well, I like it when you speak. I like hearing what you have to say." He kept his tone matter-of-fact. Rowe shuddered against his chest, and it could have been a laugh. Yes, I suppose that isn’t said to Pets very often. "And your poor legs. Well, we’re going to try this out, but let me know if it doesn’t work, okay?"

Tomas gently hoisted Rowe onto his back, climbing onto his bicycle very carefully. Rowe clung on; his frail arms hooked over Tomas’s shoulders and the brittle scabs forming over Rowe’s newest cuts tickled his jaw. This is fucking stupid.

"I’ll go slowly," Tomas promised, pushing the bike into motion and vowing never to go back to that wretched place.

. . .

Rowe savoured the last few moments, tucked protectively against his owner’s chest, before they got home and his punishment started. He had wasted Master’s time, he had spoken without permission, he had got blood everywhere upstairs, he was ugly, he was useless, and he was due a punishment. He was due more pain until he was a pitiful, twitching wreck, sobbing that he’d never trouble Master like that again. This was all he could think as he was carried into the house and- not dropped on the floor, as he’d expected, but placed onto the sofa. But- but- Pets couldn’t-

"You’re allowed on the sofa," Master Tomas said, like he’d read Rowe’s mind. "You’re always allowed. But right now, I don’t want any argument, okay?"

Rowe nodded nervously, and didn’t resist as Master unclipped the collar from around his neck. It was insolent and rude and selfish, but Rowe had got used to life without one. He tried to sit up and be pretty, but he was still faint and clumsy with pain.

"H-hurts, Master. M-my legs hurt."

"Rowe?" Master asked, and Rowe’s heart sank because of course, Master would notice immediately. Pets were too stupid to hide things from their Master. The truth always came out, eventually. "You doing okay?"

A pause. "They did… you got painkillers right, Rowe? They gave you anaesthetic?"

Rowe shook his head and immediately Master’s eyes darkened with rage. Wrong answer.

"What the fuck?" Master cried. Rowe flinched. He knew what that tone predated. "No, I’m not- I’m not angry with you. I’ll get you some painkillers."

"P-please, it’s n-not wasted on Pets," Rowe protested weakly, even though he knew Pets never argued with their Master. What was he thinking? Besides, he still opened his mouth obediently when Master approached him with two small pills and some water.

"Okay," he exhaled. Master crouched before him and took Rowe by the hand, ever so gently. Rowe still felt ice run through him at the contact, expecting him to clamp and wrench and pull, but he didn’t.

. . .

I have to do it, thought Tomas as he looked at Rowe. …but I don’t have to do it tonight.

. . .

"Rowe," Master began as he often did, and Rowe liked being reminded that he was important enough to be named. It made him feel wanted.

(made him feel like a person) (no it didn’t)

Master was looking at him so warmly that it made Rowe just want to shy away because he hadn’t earned this kindness. Why was Master even here? What did he want? Why was he here if not to get something from Rowe- to punish him for causing such a fuss?

"When people get hurt, it’s important to be extra nice to them. This doesn’t mean that you can only have nice things if you take pain first, okay?"

"O-okay, Master." But what does that matter?

"I want to do whatever you want tonight. Anything at all. I know having wants is still new, so this is a good chance to try them out." Master ran his thumb over Rowe’s hand. His fingers weren’t rough like old master’s were. They were soft. "Wanting something won’t make me angry. I won’t get angry, I won’t laugh at you, I won’t ignore you."

"I can want s-something?" Rowe timidly confirmed. "I’m not being punished?"

The worst case scenario flitted before his eyes, as it always did- Master’s grip turns painful and he smacks beats hits kicks whips burns hates me and it was all a cruel joke- but it didn’t linger, it didn’t make him seize up. It-

It passed. And all that happened was Master nodded.

"I want-" Rowe’s breath hitched. He knew what he wanted. He couldn’t believe he was even capable of wanting. And now that it wasn’t a dream, or a private thought, the desperation came crashing into him almost too fast to keep up with. It tore and wrenched and made him ache. "Please- please p-pet me, Master, please hold me and ruffle m-m-my hair. I want to b-be held so badly. Please."

. . .

Oh, Rowe, Tomas thought, feeling his heart break once again. I’ve really been cruel to you, haven’t I?

"Of course, pal, of course," he said gently, sitting down next to Rowe and putting an arm around him. "Why don’t you lean on me and get comfortable?"

It felt wrong, Tomas couldn’t deny that, it felt so wrong to let this small, traumatised human rest his head on Tomas’s chest and be pet like a- well, like a Pet. But he also couldn’t deny the way Rowe softened against him. Sure, Rowe went limp a lot, his training making him unresisting and pliable, but this was different. Tomas worked the fingers of his free hand into Rowe’s hair and stroked, all the way down to the top of his spine and back to his crown. Rowe let out a shuddering breath, like all the defences he’d had to keep raised since Tomas got him were being lowered, just for tonight.

The words kept dying on his lips, but Tomas promised himself that if Rowe didn’t respond then he wouldn’t say them again. "You’re- you’re a good boy, Rowe."

Another shudder, and a sniff. Rowe’s face pressed harder into Tomas.  

"Such a good boy. You were so brave today."

And then- Rowe’s shoulders trembled, in the way Tomas had quickly learnt they only did when Rowe was crying silently.

"Th-thank you," Rowe whispered between sobs. "Thank y-you so much, Master."

"I mean it," he soothed. "You are so good, Rowe. I’m happy I have you as a Pet."

It was a confession to himself as much as it was a comfort for Rowe. The words sank in, for both of them. Rowe’s crying didn’t abate, and Tomas felt a few tears of his own drip down his face. They landed perfectly on the hand in Rowe’s hair. That’s for the best. Proper Masters don’t cry over their Pets.

Tomas couldn’t help it. All his anger at the hospital had settled into sadness. He wasn’t being selfish. Rowe so desperately needed to feel safe and comforted, even if by morning he would be back to his usual fearful servitude. But Tomas also wanted to drop the pretence, just for a night, and let himself be kind and gentle without confusing his poor precious Pet.

He continued stroking his hair until Rowe fell asleep, his head rising and falling in unison with Tomas’s slow breaths.

(ending loosely inspired by this post)

#tomas and rowe #whump #whump fic #pet whumpee #dehumanisation #master/pet #aftermath of torture #pet whump #aftermath of abuse #mine

[captainjimothycarter]

So if you've seen AOS, you've seen Whitehall/Werner Reinhardt who tore apart a woman Peggy saved to turn himself young. I propose the AU image where he kidnaps and deages a 93 year old Peggy because it's no fun gloating to/winning over an old lady, and the Avengers show up in time to help her kick his ass. Peggy who was 93 and is now outraged to be like 22 again so she matches the age she screwed Werner over.

holy shit this is 1.3k words??? nonny what did you do to me

I don’t think Peggy saved her but I could be wrong? I don't’ remember the seasons well. I binged all 6 seasons in 2 months to get ready for S7. So my brain was friiiied. Also I apologize for not getting right back to you, long day.

--

Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong. Steve never thought he would be begging the images on the monitor to be wrong before but here he was. 

He tried to ignore apparently a not-dead Coulson and Agent May’s looks. His hand gripped the shield tightly and tried to steady his breathing, his eyes never pulling from the screen until Fitz had switched it off.

“Captain Ro-“ Coulson began, a limit timid.

“Steve.”

“Steve. I know what you’re thinking, what you want to happen but we’ve been over these images a hundred times, and a hundred times more with the best people we have at our disposal, these images are real.”

“They can’t be!” Steve wasn’t aware of the anger rising in him until he was clenching his fist, looking between the two head agents.

“And why the hell not?” May asked, giving Steve a firm look. “I think you out of all people should know the mysterious circumstances of things and how the world works. We wouldn’t have called you here if we didn’t think they were real, Captain Rogers.”

Steve didn’t correct her, honestly, he didn’t even hear her. All he felt was the pain of his fist going through Coulson’s wooden desk. They ignored the fluttering of files and clutter of items collapsing to the floor. His knuckles were most likely broken but at this point, the pain was a welcome distraction.

“Because there’s no way in hell Peggy would agree under any circumstances to work with that bastard. She put him away for good! I read her records, we all have. She wouldn’t use him to-to deage. That’s not Peggy.”

“People change,” Hunter mused, shrugging his shoulders. Steve hadn’t even seen the man come in, his hands held up when Steve whirled on him and took three strides closer. There was a good foot height difference between them. “She’s dying and when people start to go, they get desperate. Look, Cap no ones blaming her if she did but the evidence says she’s working for Whitehall and if that’s so, then-“

Steve’s hand closed around Hunter’s neck before he could stop himself, seeing nothing but red. He didn’t choke the man or lift him from the floor, much as he wanted to. He just stared straight into his eyes, aware that May had pulled her gun on him.

“If you’re saying that Hunter, then you never truly knew Peggy. You have no damn idea what the hell she and I have been through during that war so you can sit here and serve Shield and not Schmidt. What the hell the both of I have lost. Agent Carter is a better person than I will ever be. She has morals and ideas that I can never match.”

Coulson’s hand laid over May’s arm, giving a shake of his head. They watched Steve stalk out of the room, the other agents scurrying out of the way.

“What the hell was that for?” Hunter groaned, rubbing at his neck.

“You perfectly insulted his ex-fiance,” Coulson replied, picking up the model of Lola from the floor. “If you ask me, Cap let you off easy.”

--

Clint and Natasha were not happy to have been lied to. Tony says he wasn’t surprised, Bruce was just more relieved than any of them. Thor said in a sheepish tone that he already knew thanks to Lady Sif, then came another whole term of arguments between them until things settled. And for the most part, Steve sat away from them, listening to the debate about Coulson and the very fact Peggy Carter was not only alive but young and working with Hydra.

“That’s not her,” Steve muttered to Natasha when she sat beside him, throwing her feet up on the table.

“I know.” Simply put. She knew.

“That can’t be her. Peggy would rather die than work with Hydra. Not Whitehall, not of all people. She-she can’t.”

“Regardless of the story, Steve, we’ll understand it. Fully.”

--

It was two full days later before Fitz was able to determine a location based on the photos. An underground base through a history of ownership dated back to Schmidt. That makes sense. Just hearing that name made Steve’s blood boil. He could barely listen to Coulson and his plan. All he could think of was Peggy and what the hell Whitehall could be doing to her.

The plan was quickly forgotten about when Steve heard Peggy’s whimpering pain. He threw his shoulder into the door, holding his shield tightly in his hand.

There she was, just as the photos had dictated. Laid out on a gurney, strapped down with blood pumping through her system.

This wasn’t the same Peggy as before. She was younger, much younger and despite the lack of gray hair and wrinkles, her eyes were just as sharp. They fell to Steve and she gritted her teeth, tugging on the bonds.

“Take another step towards me, soldier and you’ll find the reason Whitehall strapped me here.” Steve couldn’t help but to smirk at Peggy’s smart comment. That was her. “Who are you and why in the hell are you wearing Captain Rogers’ face?”

“Peggy, it’s me,” Steve said slowly, calmly, not letting go of the Shield. “It’s you. God, its really you.” He was trying not to cry, to be sedimental but he couldn’t. Tears burned in his eyes as he reached slowly to pull out his dented dog tags.

“Cap, we gotta go,” Tony warned.

She gritted her teeth, that machine, whatever the hell it was, was causing her pain. He couldn’t destroy it, couldn’t get near it without hurting her. “F-fine!” She snapped. “Prove to me you’re Captain Rogers then. Tell me one thing only he would know.”

“July 4th,” Steve said simply, knowing he wasn’t helping Peggy believe him. “1944. You went out of your way to buy me a birthday cake from a lady in town. It was…terrible. God, it was terrible. It tasted like charcoal. Seeing you take a bite, you almost spat it back out but I choked it down for both our sakes because you went through so much trouble.” He paused, trying to think if it was enough. And in the off chance.

“You got sick one winter. Really sick, to the point Phillips considered sending you back to London so you could see a real doctor, not be in the midst of the cold weather. You refused. You were delirious with a fever and so cold. He let me take you to a room you rented and take care of you. I had to nurse you back to health with my ma’s recipes and limited cooking skills. That’s the first time you told me you loved me.”

There it was, that look in her eyes. She believed him without saying a word. Steve rushed forward and undid the needles from her arm, being careful not to tear a vein. “Later,” Peggy whispered to Steve’s worried looks as he picked her up and threw her on his back, leaving his hands free for the shield. “How did you find me?”

“Sleepy and Dopey,” Steve mused despite Peggy’s confused look thrown at the back of his head. “Coulson, Stark?”

“Come on!” The shouting order from Clint and Bobbi at the end of the hall lead Steve to run straight to them. One ahead, one behind is how they made it to ground level and just in time for the warehouse to collapse in on itself, causing a giant sinkhole right in the middle of a large field in God knows where in this arctic.

Coulson shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around Peggy’s shoulders, letting Mack and Hunter take her straight to the Quin Jet. “Director Carter,” he mused with a polite smile, turning to look at Steve. “We’ll have to keep her for questioning. Make sure –“

“I’m staying,” Steve said firmly, daring the man to say otherwise.

Instead, Coulson smiled and patted Steve’s arm. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

#Steggy #StevePeggy #Agents of Shield #S2 #I love this so much honestly #thanks nonny #Steggy Prompt #Nonny prompt

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Dawn in Your Eyes Part 17

Summary: Alfie has little to no idea why Caroline ever gave him the time of day. The blind woman seemed far too sensible to even speak to him. But soon he finds himself falling helplessly in love.

Part 17: Alfie and Caroline discuss names. Alfie finds out what a pain in the ass it is to be partially blind. 

            Pilot was extremely relieved when Caroline was returned to him. He refused to leave her side for more than a minute a few days after they were reunited. Of course, that really meant just going back and forth from Elizabeth’s home to the hospital.

            Julia and Alfie didn’t want her living on her own for obvious reasons after the kidnapping. It was an adjustment period, and Caroline wasn’t sure how long it would last. Would things return to normal once Alfie was cleared to leave the hospital?

            Maybe things would never go back to the way they were. Not after such an event. And not since they were due to have a baby in less than six months.

            Since most of her days were sat in the hospital or at Elizabeth and Richard’s, Caroline had plenty of time to process what had happened and what was coming next.

            Alfie assured her that the men who had taken her would be dealt with accordingly. That’s all he had to say on the matter. He wasn’t going to tell his wife that two men were dead and the other two were tied up in the cellar of the bakery. Waiting until Alfie was back on his feet so he could kill them properly. A long, torturous, painful death seemed suitable.

            Some of his men had already roughed them up a bit to learn their motives. It was reported to Alfie that they were Italians although not officially linked to Sabini. Just a group of rabid young men who wanted the wealth and power that Darby had. Hoping to impress him, instead, they made a critical error. Even Sabini was wise enough to know that kidnapping Alfie Solomons’ blind wife was a huge mistake.

            Alfie understood that but wanted to make an example out of the rogue men. To let anyone, not just the Italians, that his family was not to be messed with.

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

            “Elizabeth had Misty write some names down for me.” Caroline arrived one day with a piece of paper in her hand. She found her usual seat beside Alfie’s hospital bed and sat.

            “Names for what?” Alfie reached for his glasses. It seemed that the blindness in his left eye would be long-lasting, if not permanent. But he was coping. Some of the doctors or nurses would sympathize, expecting the man to be devastated with such a drastic change. Alfie would simply bark out a laugh and tell them that his wife had been born blind. Losing sight in one eye wasn’t the end of the world.

            He’d made a similar joke when he first got to see what the bullet had done to his face. He snorted and grimaced. “Well, at least me wife is blind so she won’t leave me for looking like this.”

            The nurse holding the mirror just gave an uncomfortable smile and checked his dose of pain medication to make sure he hadn’t been given more than was necessary.

             “Baby names.” Caroline set her purse down and instructed Pilot to lay down by her feet.

            “That right? Let’s have a look-see then.” He blinked a few times to clear up his vision. Losing half of his sight was still something he needed to get used to. Emotionally, he was just lucky the bullet hadn’t gone straight through his brain. It was easy for him to stand up, dust himself off, and resume life. But the physical limitations were a weight on him. Reading gave him a major headache, his depth perception was utterly fucked, and his right eye was still trying to adjust. But he tried not to confide these hardships to Caroline. It felt so silly complaining to her about being half-blind when she’d never seen the world. He felt it was like whining about losing a finger to someone who’d been born without arms.

            So he tried to convey that everything was just peachy.   

            “Zelda, yeah that’s our great-aunt’s name. James, mhm, Sarah, sure sure, Rose, Helen, Eva, Pearl, Georgia, hang on. She’s only listed one boys name, is this her way of telling us she wants it to be a girl?” He protested.

            Caroline giggled. “I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.” She didn’t tell him that, yes, his cousin had been hoping for a girl.

            Alfie grunted. “Ah, now here is a proper Jewish name for a boy. Eli. Proper good name. Not like all these fucking modern names she’s written down.”

            “Did you want something more traditional?” She wondered.

            “Thing is, think me mum gave me a more Western name to fit in, yeah? That way, people wouldn’t be looking down on us even more. ‘Fucking Jews and their wild names, eh? We’re English, ain’t we?’. But I ain’t naming our child outta fear. Ifya like a British name, then that’s fine. But don’t want you to name our child outta fear. Not like our parents did. People are gonna call me kid what they were named whether they like it or not. They have an issue; they can come to me and I’ll give them a well-crafted history of the chosen people. None of this…this bullshit.”

            Caroline nodded slowly. She hadn’t considered his point of view before but did understand it. Knowing Alfie felt so strongly about it, she wanted to grant his wish. Besides, she wanted her child to have a meaningful name, not something that was following a trend. “So more traditional. I think we could find a beautifully Jewish name.” She murmured softly and plucked the paper from his hand. “Zelda is Yiddish. Eli is Hebrew. What else?”

            “I’d hafta think about it,” Alfie admitted. He was starting to get a headache from reading the names his cousin had picked.

            She took his hand in hers. “How are you feeling?”

            “Fine, should be about ready to get back home. Fucking sick of this hospital.” He mumbled and squeezed her hand.

            “I know. I want you home so badly.” She sighed. “I love Elizabeth and Richard but I miss being together, just us two.”  

            “You can admit it, Liz can be overbearing.” Alfie chuckled.

            “She is not! She’s wonderful and caring. But I miss being with you in our own home. I want to go back to Letwin or Margate.”

            “I do too.” He raised her hand to kiss her knuckles. “We are due to have a very well-deserved vacation.”

            “We can leave straight from here.” Caroline got swept up in the daydream of being whisked away to either of their homes outside of London. Spending quality time with the husband she thought she was going to lose.

            “Well, I’ve got a few things to wrap up here before we do.” He frowned.

            “Like what?”

            “Like loose ends that need dealing with.”

            A cold chill went down Caroline’s spine as she picked up on anger in his voice. “Alfie…whatever you’re planning I’d urge you to stop.”

            “Not planning anything, love.”

            “I know you’re planning.” She argued. “And you ought to tell me the truth.”

            Alfie sighed and rested his head back against the pillows propping him up. He made sure not to touch his face even though he wanted to rub his weary eyes. “There are two men that are still alive. Part of the group that took you.” He told her. “They’ll be my example to those fucking-” He gritted his teeth and shook his head. “Caroline, I won’t rest until they pay and the message is well received.”

            She chewed on her lower lip. Part of her wanted the men punished. After all, they had no right to do what they did. However, she knew her husband’s form of punishment was very different from the legal system. And she just wanted the ordeal to be done with. Caroline thought because she was home safe, things were done.

            But of course, they weren’t. And she wasn’t sure if they’d ever be fully settled. Besides, this wasn’t an isolated matter. It was just a symptom of years of Darby and Alfie bickering and fighting back and forth.

            “Alfie, will you look at me?” She reached up to find his cheek.

            “I’m looking at you, love.” He replied quietly.

            “What will it take to get you to give this up?” She asked, her gray eyes pleading. “We’re expecting a child. I don’t want this to continue to interrupt our lives. You were almost killed…”

            “I know, Caroline, I know.” He swallowed and tried to listen with an open mind. Settling arguments with Darby was never easy, often times Alfie just didn’t want to stop fighting. He felt like the man deserved what was coming to him.

            “I can’t have this in my life, and I know you can’t for much longer. You need to settle things. I won’t ask you to change completely but I need to know that my family will be safe. Our family.”

            “I’ll work on it.” He promised, the words coming from his heart. She was right, he didn’t want their child to see the horrors he had to. That was the point of bringing up a child, wasn’t it? To love them and to give them a better life? “Things’ll change. They will.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~           

            Alfie returned home much to his and Caroline’s relief. The hospital was becoming very depressing and made Alfie stir crazy.

            Cyril and Apollo went mad when he entered the flat. They nearly knocked him over as they jumped on him excitedly.

            “Alright, alright!” He exclaimed. “Don’t push me now.” He prodded them off and patted them both. “I missed ya mutts too.”

            Caroline laughed softly as Cyril whined. “They’ve been so lost without you. Kept following me around.”

            “Well, at least you had good company.” Alfie chuckled. “Want some tea, love? I need something to settle me head.”

            “Sure.” She let Pilot off his lead. “I’ll be in the sitting room.”

            “Right, just be a mo’.” Alfie went to the kitchen and put the kettle on. He had to blink a few times to try and right his vision. He didn’t think his life would be too changed by the lack of eyesight. He could get around, right?

            However, he was given a nasty wakeup call when he tried pouring the hot water into cups. He was certain he had the spout over the cup, that’s what it looked like. But it turned out his depth perception was worse than he anticipated. Boiling hot water spilled out over the kitchen counter and burned his hand.

            “Fuck!” He hissed and haphazardly set the kettle back on the stovetop but missed by a couple of inches. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He went for the sink to put cold water on his hand. Reaching for the tap, he overshot and knocked a bar of soap into the sink. “Fuck!” He growled and tried again, this time grabbing air. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Third time he managed to get a hold of the faucet and turned on the water. It took a few tries to get his hand under the stream of cold water. The string of events boggled his mind. How could he be so deceived by his own sight?

            “Fuck.” He uttered one more time as the water soothed his burn.

            “Alfie?” Caroline called from the next room when she heard banging around. “Are you alright?”

            “Fine, love!” He replied.

            Unconvinced, Caroline walked into the kitchen. “Are you sure?”

            “Just burned me hand a bit.”

            “Did something spill?” She frowned as her stocking-covered foot stepped in a puddle on the tiles.

            “Yeah, just water. Tried pouring but-fuck-I dunno, guess I don’t see quite right with just one working eye.”

            “You’ll have to adjust, that’s all.” She soothed softly and grabbed a hand towel. She found the kettle and the teacups. “Watch.”

            Alfie turned off the tap and walked over. He watched carefully as she tapped the spout of the kettle to the bottom of the teacup before pouring. She kept the tip of her finger a half-inch from the rim. When the water touched her finger, she stopped.

            “It’s all about learning how to live in a world that wasn’t made for you.” She poured the second cup. “You’re clever, you’ll manage. But you need to be patient with yourself.” She set the kettle down and reached a hand to him.

            “Don’t have your sorta patience.” He mumbled sheepishly and took her hand.

            She pulled him close and kissed his cheek. “You’ll find it.” She promised. “But it won’t be easy. Still, I’ll be by your side the entire time.”

            “I fucking love you.” He murmured and kissed her properly.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @giftofdreams​ @biba3434​

Tag list: @zazasblogxx​ @thinkingsofamadwoman​ @deaflikehawkeye​ @bellarkebxtch​ @evelynshelby​

Masterlist 

#alfie solomons #alfie solomonsxoc #alfie solomons x oc #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #tom hardy #tom hardy character #tom hardy imagine #tom hardy x ofc #ofc #oc #blind ofc #blind oc #blind character #jewish character #tom hardy fanfiction #fanfiction

[johannstutt413]

(requested by anonymous)

The Doctor and Ceylon left the office together, her arm locked with his cordially as he walked her to her dorm. “You know what I find fascinating, Ceylon?” He asked not long after leaving the office.

“What would that be, Doctor?”

“Since you and Schwarz arrived here,” he continued, “I haven’t seen you together often. Is there a reason for that?”

She nodded. “We’ve decided it’s best to spend time with others in our respective fields - after all, there are several other Oripathy scholars working at Rhodes Island for me to learn from, and Schwarz has both her new duties to attend to and other mercenaries that understand her troubles better than I ever will. Besides, as much as I love h-having her by my side, it’s not healthy for two people to spend every waking moment together.”

“Oh, of course. I was just curious because I’ve been working on organizing a couples’ retreat for those Operators who have a special someone in their lives, and I was wondering if the two of you would be interested in coming along.”

“Um...when you say special someone,” Ceylon clarified, “you mean...romantically, yes?”

The Doctor nodded with a smile. “Yes, I do.”

“I...I’ll bring it up with her. Who else would be attending?”

“Well, let’s see.” He counted each pair on his fingers. “There’s MountainPass-”

She made a small noise at the mention. “I’m sorry?”

“Oh, they’re just some names I came up with for each couple. Kind of like team names, which will help with some of the activities. Courier and Cliffheart, Skadi and Spectre [WhaleShark], Silverash and Siege [Lovers Leo], Provence and Scavenger [Mousecapade], Flamebringer and Perfumer [Rose Thorns], Matterhorn and Vulcan [Get the Horns] - they’re all confirmed, and I have one or two I still need to check in with. You have another week or two to get back to me.”

“I will ask her tonight,” Ceylon confirmed. After a moment’s pause, she asked, “What’s your name for us?”

The Doctor smirked. “Siesta’s Salvation.”

-

Schwarz came home that evening to find Ceylon pacing back and forth, deep in contemplation. “Lady Ceylon? Something’s clearly bothering you.”

“Schwarz, the Doctor invited us to an event, and before I say yes to his invitation...there’s something we need to talk about.”

“We should talk over tea.” The sniper went to the stove, grabbed the kettle, and filled it under the faucet. “Beyond this point, you had a good day?”

Ceylon sat at one end of their dining table and worked to calm herself down. “Oh, yes, just lovely. I was in the lab most of the day, testing one of the new decrystallization mechanisms, and we actually saw some reversion today, which is more than promising.”

“Decrystallization...so getting rid of the scars?”

“Exactly.” She stirred a spoon around their sugar dish. “We can get it to deconvert epithelial cells, but anything beyond that is proving more troublesome. Still, it’s definitely progress. What about you? Anything interesting?”

Schwarz shrugged. “Scavenger mentioned going on a couples’ retreat with Provence in a few months. She asked me if we were planning on going, and- Ceylon, what’s wrong?”

“That was the event I mentioned earlier.”

“Oh.” She left the kettle to boil and sat down at the table, moving the second chair to be closer to her lady. “What was your question?”

Ceylon took a deep breath before extending a hand in Schwarz’ direction. “Schwarz, what are we, exactly?”

“As in, what’s our relationship?”

“Exactly.” She sighed. “The Doctor seems to think we’re romantically involved, and no doubt Scavenger and several others do as well, but we’ve never...We haven’t done anything that would suggest that, as far as I know.”

Schwarz thought about that for a moment. “Well, there was that one night at the bar where you said, and I quote, ‘I’ll never love anyone the way I love my darling Schwarz.’ That might have something to do with it.”

“But it’s not like we’ve kissed...right?”

“In public? No.” Her almost-eidetic memory of her time with Ceylon played back in her mind. “But then again...Do you remember the month after you came back from university, and you asked if I had any experience because a few of your friends asked you about yours?”

Ceylon’s eyes burst open. “Oh! There was that, I suppose. I haven’t told anyone about it, though.”

“Neither have I.”

“So that couldn’t be it...” She frowned as the kettle began to whistle. “I’ll get that.”

Schwarz got up from the table at the same time. “No, my lady, I started the pot, so I’ll get it.”

“But you’ve been on your feet all day. I’ll take care of it.”

“Lady Ceylon, please-”

“Schwarz, I’ve got it-”

“Ceylon.”

“What?”

The sniper hadn’t moved to get the still-whistling kettle, which gave Ceylon her chance to do so. “I think that may play a part in this idea they have of us.”

“Hmm?” She brought the kettle back to the table. “What do you mean? Your tea bags, dear.”

“Thank you. From what I’ve heard from Scavenger and a few of the other Operators, bickering like we just did is a sign that two people are very close, and since some of them aren’t familiar with our story, they might assume we’re together because of things like that.”

The lightbulb went off in her mind. “Okay, that makes sense. The Doctor was just saying today that he was surprised he didn’t see us together more often, though, so how would he know about that?”

“Ceylon, the Doctor has a hundred ways of collecting information about his people.” She poured her first cup, watching the water darken with a satisfied smile. “It would surprise me more to know that he didn’t know about that part of our relationship.”

“That explains why people think of us that way, but that doesn’t answer the question yet - what do we say we are? Are we...a couple?” The professor poured her milk into the cup while in a second, smaller cup, she let her tea bags and sugar steep.

Schwarz watched her ward with a look reserved for her alone. “I’d say we weren’t while we lived with your father, certainly.”

“You’re being rather coy about this.” Ceylon re-extended her free hand as she removed the tea bags, satisfied with the color. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“...I told Scavenger I planned on going on the retreat with you.”

Her eyes leapt to Schwarz. “You did?”

“I did.” She took a deep breath. “Lady Ceylon, since you came of age, there’s been this unspoken tension between us, like the surface of a lake; every now again, like that kiss when you came home from university, where that tension was broken one way or another, but most of the time, we’ve kept from making waves for the sake of not losing what we have. After the Festival a few months ago, I realized that was a...well, in plain language, a stupid way of handling things.”

“When were you planning on saying something to me? I mean, you were going to tell me at some point, right?”

Schwarz held her gaze, but her eyes wavered. “My lady, I worry that it will simply hurt you to know just how heartless I truly am.”

“You think I don’t know what your past has done to you?” Water was gathering in the corner of her eyes, but nevertheless, Ceylon was unfazed. “I’ve traced your scars with my eyes before, and while I admit, I don’t know how that feels, I know there’s something left in your heart. After all, without that, how could you...how could you love me at all?”

“I...I don’t know.” Nevertheless, she took hold of the hand in front of her, squeezing it softly.

The professor blinked, freeing the forming tears to fall down her cheeks. “Schwarz, you helped me realize what it means to love someone. Not that filler romance trash that my peers gossiped on and on about at university, where what you did mattered more than the feeling behind it, but the real thing. I’ve never had to pick up a weapon to defend you - for one thing, I’m no good with them, and you’re more than capable of defending yourself in a fight - but I fought night after night against the guys and girls who I attended class with who saw me as an easy mark, trying to convince them there was more to love than they’d discovered with nothing more than my memories of you to rebut their idiotic arguments. But then, that kiss, it- it solidified for me that it was you, it would have to be you and no one else, because no one else could ever love me more completely than you.”

“La- Ceylon...” Schwarz own eyes, for the first time she could remember since her parents’ deaths, began to tear up as well. “I don’t deserve you.”

“And I’ve never given a solitary fuck if you thought you did.”

She couldn’t help but laugh just a little. “I haven’t heard you say that in a while.”

“Oh, bother it all,” Ceylon gasped, rolling her eyes. “Just kiss me already, darling.”

“As my lady wishes.” Schwarz stood from her chair, let go of her hand to embrace her, and did as she was asked.

-

Early the next morning, the Doctor was greeted by Ceylon as usual, but something was unusual about her appearance. “Good morning, Ceylon. Is everything alright at home?”

“Oh, just splendid,” she beamed back at him. “We’ll be attending your retreat, Doctor.”

“That’s great! With the two of you, I should be able to get a package deal on the resort reservation.”

Ceylon nodded with a smile. “Good. Schwarz also asked that, if you couldn’t afford the honeymoon suite, that we be allowed to pay the difference for it.”

“Honeymoon suite...” His eyes lit up. “You mean-”

“We had the most insightful conversation yesterday. Hopefully we can talk about it some at the retreat.” She winked at him.

The Doctor cheered. “I’m glad I could help. Honestly, you’re the only person I’ve ever seen her smile with, so it seemed a little odd that you two wouldn’t be together.”

“She’s been with me since I was a child, Doctor,” Ceylon shrugged. “I’d say it’s more unusual that we have become a couple, considering.”

“Well, to each their own. I’ll get to work on that honeymoon suite for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, one other thing.” He handed her a paper. “This came in overnight. You might need to have another talk with Schwarz tonight.”

Ceylon’s eyes narrowed as she read it. “...Perhaps our neighbors should do themselves a favor and invest in a strong pair of earplugs if they’re so concerned.”

#arknights #ceylon (arknights) #schwarz (arknights) #there's clear mention of their relationship being like sisters #however #i think we've seen enough anime to know where that goes... #and considering the wording in Ceylon's archives leans more in this direction #it likely depends on which of the two you ask and how #arknights fic

[marzaid]

I always see quirkless Izuku AUs when it comes to Tododeku fanfic but consider this quirkless Shouto. Shouto still went through hell at the hands of Endeavor because he refused to accept that he could have produced a quirkless child. He’s still trained through hell and knows how to fight purely because it protects him from his father at least in some way. Rei still pours water on Shouto but that’s because the abuse she receives makes it hard for her and she ends up pouring boiling water on Shouto and breaking down afterward. Endeavor locks her away and brutally abuses his number one failure Shouto who dreamed of being a hero like All Might but thinking he can’t be one especially after Rei is locked away because she was the one that always had faith in him. 

No one knows about Shouto so when he applies to UA it’s under his mom’s last name. He takes the entrance exam and makes it into the gen ed department with the determination to become a hero to prove his father wrong. There’s another boy he runs into during the entrance exam with unruly, green hair and a constellation of freckles on his cheeks. The boy, later he learns Izuku Midoriya, seems frightened and as if he has no real power that is until Ochako is in trouble from that zero point robot and he watches Izuku shatter the bones in his arms and legs to save the girl and smash the robot. To Shouto it’s as if this boy was just manifesting his quirk for the first which was actually true but he doesn’t find that out for a while. 

There’s another boy in the gen ed department, Shinsou, that Shouto becomes acquaintances with. The two of them have been burned by society and people that were supposed to care about them so even if they aren’t best friends and even if they don’t tell each other their life stories, they still have each other’s backs. They train together because they’re two outcast kids that have never fit in and that aren’t really that good with social interaction. Shouto points out Izuku to Shinsou and watches him carefully from afar for a long time. It has nothing to do with a crush, he’s just fascinated by the boy and his relationship with All Might. When Shinsou asks if he envies the boy, Shouto vehemently denies it but there is a part of him that is envious of Izuku. Of course, Shinsou also suggests that Shouto has a crush on Izuku and he of course vehemently denies that as well. 

Shouto and Shinsou go to the USJ not to train but because they are getting extra credit to be the people in need of being saved. Neither of them is thrilled about but they will take whatever they can get to observe the lessons the hero course is getting. They are there and attacked when the League of Villains breaks in and attempts to kill all of them and All Might. It’s during this time that Izuku learns of another quirk of his. It’s unfortunate really and later he will get an in-depth apology and explanation from All Might. But for the moment Izuku sees Tsuyu and Mineta getting attacked by a villain with ice powers and wishing he could take the power away he unlocks the quirk that had lain dormant for fifteen years. In a flash, Izuku has the ice quirk and ends up almost giving himself hypothermia while he uses it. 

Izuku learns early on about All For One and the true implications behind One For All. He learns that his quirk implies that All For One is his father and that now that he has One For All, he will have to face his own father, the greatest evil on earth. There should be confliction within Izuku but because he barely remembers the man, he accepts that he will have to fight the man. And when Izuku is alone he will admit to himself that All Might has become his dad anyway so he doesn’t care about some far off man that was never in his life anyway. After his discussion with All Might, Izuku works to hone All For One and One For All with All Might’s help. With the ice quirk, he works on giving and taking quirks and doing it with other people. At first, he wears gloves purely because he isn’t sure how the activation works but when he learns that it’s through intention he gets rid of the gloves. 

The Sports Festival arrives and this is when Shouto declares Izuku as his rival because he wants to prove to his father that he can a hero better than All Might even without a quirk. Izuku accepts his challenge because he understands. God does he understand! And he’s determined to show Shouto that he’s so much more than his father. Shouto right before the third round reveals the truth to Izuku who is horrified and then he meets Endeavor shortly after and snarls at the man telling him that Shouto is so much more than him and will be a greater hero than he could ever imagine. Izuku storms away ever more determined to help Shouto. When they do face each other, Shouto attacks cold and calculating with a fierce need to prove himself. It ends up being a hand-to-hand fight that gets quite nasty and Midnight and Cementoss are ready to break it up. Izuku has Shouto in a hold and tells him that he is not his father nor his father’s impossible expectations. This is what Shouto needs to hear and he uses this as a way to flip Izuku over and immobilize him. Izuku graciously accepts defeat but is happy about it because he knows that Shouto is going to break away from his father. Endeavor sees Shouto just after the match and tries to greet him as if he had always loved him and tells him that he wants to truly train him but Shouto tells him that he was able to fight well because he just let himself feel it and ignore Endeavor. Pushing past his father, he tells him that he is going to be a hero like All Might regardless of his quirk. 

After the Sports Festival, Shouto goes to meet his mom and they talk about everything. She tells him that she’s so happy to see him and she can’t wait to see him as a top hero and tell everyone that her son is an amazing hero. He stays and they talk for hours. He returns whenever he has free time and regularly sends her letters when he gets the chance. 

In the coming days, Shouto opens up more to Izuku and then the rest of Class 1A. Most of them think he’s pretty cool especially since he doesn’t use a quirk and he beat Izuku, though he did lose to Katsuki in the final round. Izuku asks Shouto if he wants to train together and Shouto tells him he will only train with Izuku if Shinsou can train as well. He had promised the boy at the beginning of the year that they were in it together and if he is going to get some good hero training from the kid whose adopted dad is All Might then he will make sure Shinsou does as well. As it turns out, Shinsou is also getting private lessons from Aizawa who includes Shouto in on those lessons as well. During one of their training sessions together, Izuku gives Shouto the ice quirk to practice giving and taking. Shouto is a natural at using the ice and seems so happy to Izuku that he doesn’t have the heart to take it away. They talk to All Might, Aizawa, and Nezu and it’s agreed that Shouto can keep the ice quirk but he is going to have to update the quirk registry.

The official story to Endeavor is that an ice quirk magically manifested during training with Aizawa. It’s accepted Shouto’s quirk gets updated in the registry. He continues to train his quirk but soon finds that using it on his left side is painful. It’s too cold for his left side to bear and it starts freezing too much so he mainly uses his new ice quirk on his right side. 

The biggest issue that Shouto has is Endeavor. The man is furious that his failure of a son manifested an ice quirk and not a fire one. But because he sees his son on the hero path he decides to train him, so he takes Shouto on for an internship. Izuku goes to Gran Torino and learns to control One For All though he’s still having a bit of difficulty with All For One. En route to another city, the train gets stopped there are the nomus attacking Hosu City. Without thinking, Izuku jumps out of the train to find Tenya and make sure he’s alright. When he does find the other boy, he sees that he’s in trouble. Izuku faces Stain and knowing he’s in trouble sends his location out to his contacts. Shouto shows up a few minutes later using his new ice quirk and together Izuku, Shouto, and Tenya fight stain and win.

Originally, they get scolded but then the doctor comes in and pulls the police commissioner aside to explain that Shouto has too many improperly healed injuries that were not from the Stain Incident. The truth finally comes out. They find out about Endeavor’s years of abuse and his new training regimen. Under false pretenses, they invite Endeavor to the school and he ends up getting in an argument with Aizawa and All Might. Izuku fearing for his teachers and more importantly for Shouto doesn’t think when he sees Endeavor raise his arm. He jumps in and takes away the man’s quirk.

There is a huge trial where Endeavor is found guilty of child and spousal abuse and put in jail. The jury doesn’t want Endeavor to get his fire back but they do not think that Izuku should be the one to keep it. After coming to an agreement, the jury decides that Shouto will get his father’s fire as well and Izuku is forced to give it to him in front of the entire courtroom and on international television. This sparks interest in the villain-underground since they all know of a man with such a quirk.

Rei is released from the hospital and Shouto goes to live with her in a house near the Midoriyas. They take her last name and Rei becomes close with Inko. They’re constantly at each other’s houses after this and are more inseparable than they had quickly become. Friends were always over watching movies or playing video games or just hanging out. Rei is determined to give her son the childhood he never had so is sweet and gentle with him. It’s during this time that Inko and Rei had found their sons falling asleep on the couch together or doing homework together. With the constant close proximity, Izuku and Shouto begin with soft brushes of hands and reddened cheeks. Both have gone through so much and never really had friends their own age so don’t immediately realize what’s happening. 

The semester ends and they go to training camp. Shouto and Shinsou are invited because they are hopeful candidates for the hero course so the teachers want to prepare them and give them a taste. During the period after the trial and before camp, Shouto had refused to use his new fire quirk because it reminded him too much of the abuse he received at his father’s hands. It’s not until during the training camp that Izuku yells at him that it’s his power now, isn’t it? After this, Shouto trains both of his new quirks equally so that he can catch up with the rest of his peers that had a decade to get accustomed to theirs. He’s feeling a little annoyed that he isn’t at the same level as everyone else and Izuku explains to him that he had gotten one part of his quirk right before coming to UA and the second part manifested during the USJ Incident. Shouto puts it together and asks him if he’s All Might’s son but no matter much he denies it, it catches on quickly. Pretty soon everyone accepts that Izuku is All Might’s son, even the teachers, who quite frankly should know better.

They’re still attacked during training camp and have to fight the League of Villains: Vanguard Squad. The villains treat Izuku with reverence and happily face off against him but don’t capture him because he’s too strong and surrounded by too many friends. He still shatters his arms fighting muscular to save Kouta. Katsuki is still taken by the League of Villains. But there’s a spark of recognition when Shouto sees Dabi. Momo makes the tracking device and tells the police about it. 

Shouto and Kirishima are determined to get Katsuki back and tell Izuku that they are planning on rescuing him. Of course, Izuku says yes. Tenya goes with them to make sure they don’t use their quirks in a fight and Momo also goes along under that same pretense. They get to the warehouse that has the nomu and experience All For One, the Villain, for the first time. It’s horrifying and none of them can move but Izuku still comes up with the plan for Kirishima to be the one to reach out his hand for Katsuki. Thankfully they all make it to safety and watch All Might fight All For One in a final epic battle. All For One is exceptionally pissed at All Might because he stole his family and made his son his protege. 

All Might still wins but at the cost of his body. Katsuki puts the pieces together and figures out that Izuku is All Might’s protege and confronts them about it. They tell him most of the truth but don’t mention Izuku’s father because Izuku doesn’t know if he can handle Katsuki’s reaction. This doesn’t save him from Shouto. But Shouto understands what it’s like having a shitty father so when he confronts Izuku he is much more understanding. 

They all get permission to go back to the dorms and it takes Rei and Inko a little bit more convincing but do eventually agree. Because Shouto and Shinsou aren’t in the hero course yet they don’t get to take the Provisional License Exam. The only person in Class 1A that doesn’t get their Provisional License is Katsuki and he’s furious both with himself and everyone else because of it. With time he will get it but only after he’s learned to reflect on his issues and start growing from them. At the beginning of the semester, Shouto is transferred into the Hero Course and works extra hard so that he can catch up. He does work hard and is allowed to take the supplemental lessons that Katsuki is taking so that he can take the Provisional Exam. At the end of the semester, the two of them take the exam and pass thus getting their Provisional Licenses.

During this fall semester, Izuku and Shouto grow even closer. Shouto has never slept well due to nightmares and Izuku gets them on and off as well. They run into each other at some point when they both go to make tea in the middle of the night. The first time they talk they end up falling asleep cuddling on the couch and wake up with the sun dance on their faces wrapped up in a blanket but all of their classmates making comments about it. They never find out who it was but it was Aizawa because he’s secretly soft for these kids. After this, the two of them make tea and go to one of their rooms to talk until they fall asleep. It’s comforting for them to have someone else who understands and isn’t going to judge them. To have someone stand by their side and accept them where they are and be excited to help them continue to grow in the future. 

Life isn’t perfect and they have to learn to navigate new quirks and strengthening villains in addition to school. On top of that, they have to learn how to understand their feelings for each other. But by the time they realize that they’ve fallen in love, the other is their right-hand man and they would rather sink into the deepest depths of Tartarus then be without the other. It’s Shouto who confesses first because Izuku has done so much for him and his family and he can’t handle another moment with Izuku knowing how grateful he is. Quickly, his gratitude gives way and he confesses how deeply he cares for Izuku. He’s terrified and shaking because he’s not sure that Izuku is going to cast him aside and call him worthless and disgusting like everyone else. But he doesn’t. God he doesn’t! Immediately, Izuku is sobbing and tackling Shouto. In between tears, he tells Shouto how much cares for him too and how glad he is to have Shouto by his side no matter what. The pair get together soon after this and become even more of an unbeatable duo. Villains find out and think they can use one against the other but between Izuku’s AFO and OFA powers and Shouto’s ice and fire quirks, they’re practically unbeatable.

In the beginning, two lost, lonely boys were beaten down by life and everyone in it. But by the end, those two boys grew stronger together and with their friends became unstoppable. They would later go on to become the joined Symbol of Peace with Izuku being the Symbol of Love and Shouto becoming the Symbol of Justice. 

#Shouto Todoroki #Izuku Midoriya #Tododeku

[gunnerpalace]

Hi! Same anon as the previous one. Tbh, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Y'see I do ask rhetorically,too but i could really accept and understand how and why ppl can be oblivious to IchiRuki, and somehow felt that the 'canon' should suffice, even the most excruciating of all is the fact a number found the ending even acceptable (ships aside, too). Again, I could respect that. But it's my greatest bane when ppl ask 'why' and not be clear they are asking rhetorically because I literally will

provide you an actual answer. And I get it, it’s the reason why ppl find shipping wars toxic and silly. But then again, as human, conflicts are always part of us (partly because as social psych explains so, we are gravitated to the negative for that allows us to change and survive), and the reason why “logical fallacies” are coined in the first place. Human will always debate, and argue about something; the only thing we could change is how we approach the opposing views.

Again, I dont condone any way, shape or form of abuse and harm. In some certain extent, I could perhaps understand it’s much harder for some IH to approach the actual argument being there’s either too much noise, and trapped in their own island between sea of salt. Thus becoming too acquianted w/ few IH who shared the same thought until it became their views as the only truth (see, that’s why its important to have debates! it is what keep us grounded and fair! Just like you said)

Who am I to speak though? I never ever challenged anyone anyways. And as you said, you just have to understand things in every way you could possibly think of–endless ‘whys’. Which is where I agree in your reply the most–this silly fandom wars is just the black mirror to every truth that lies beneath human psyche–the dark and the grimy. Heck, being a psych major is like staring at dark hole–at times, good, but most just plain confusing, revolting even or just heartbreaking.

Sorry it’s been long, but for the final of this ask: let me tell how glad I was with IchiRuki fandom I found in tumblr. It was the saltiest I’ve ever been (im not generally a fandom person anyways) but it’s the himalayan salt–expensive and actually nutritive it really deepened my desire to become wiser in general. And you for your wonderful essays, critiques and whatnot. I definitively would love to talk with you more not only about IchiRuki but the wonders and nightmare that us humans! Kudos!

I have sitting in my drafts a post spelling out my thoughts on “canon” (and thus, the people who cling to it) in that as a concept it privileges:

officiality over quality when it comes to validity (thus violating Sturgeon’s law)

corporations (intellectual property rights holders) over fans, and thus capitalists over proletarians

hierarchical dominance over mutualist networking within fandom

curative fandom over transformative fandom

genre over literary content

plot over characters

events over emotions

It is notable that (1) generally degrades art as a whole, (2) generally advances the capitalist agenda, and (3–7) generally advances the dominance of men over women (as the genders tend to be instructed by society to view these as A. dichotomies rather than spectrums, and B. to ascribe gender to them and make them polarities). These form the sides of a mutually reinforcing power structure (in the typical “Iron Triangle” fashion) designed to preserve and maintain the status quo.

Who really benefits from say, the policing of what is or is not “canon” in Star Wars? Disney, first and foremost. And then whomever (almost certainly male) decides to dedicate their time to memorizing the minutiae of whatever that corporation has decided is “legitimate.”

One can imagine a universe in which fan fic is recognized by companies for what it is: free advertising. (Much like fan art already is.) Instead, it is specifically targeted by demonetization efforts in a way that fan art isn’t. Why? Because it demonstrates that corporate control and “official” sanction has no bearing on quality, and it is thus viewed as undermining the official products.

In the same way, by demonstrating that most “canonical” works are frankly shit, it undermines the investiture of fans in focusing on details that are ultimately errata (the events, the plot, the genre), which is the core function of curative fandom and the reason for its hierarchical structure. The people who “know the most” are at the top, but what they “know” is basically useless garbage. And those people so-engaged are, of course, usually male.

To “destroy” the basis of their credibility, and indeed the very purpose of their community, is naturally viewed by them as an attack.

(This is not to say that efforts to tear down internal consistency within established cultural properties are good unto themselves, or even desirable. For example, efforts to redefine properties such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Ghostbusters, for the sake of a identity-politics agenda have largely A. failed as art, B. failed as entertainment, C. failed to attract the supposedly intended audience, and D. failed to advance the agenda in question. Trying to repurpose extant media in the name of culture wars is essentially always doomed to failure unless it is done deftly and gradually.)

(At the same time, this also shows what I was talking about last time, with regard to people seeing whatever they want to see. You will see people complain that Star Trek and Doctor Who didn’t “used to be so political,” which is obviously nonsense. These shows were always political. What changed was how their politics were presented. For example, Star Trek has, since TNG, always shown a nominally socialist or outright communist future, but was beloved by plenty of conservatives because they could [somehow] ignore that aspect of it.)

Of course, almost no one is seriously suggesting that one side of the spectrums outlined above be destroyed, rather merely that a new balance be struck upon the spectrum. But, as we have seen time and again in society, any threat to the status quo, whether that be 20% of Hugo Awards going to non-white male authors or the top income tax rate in America being increased by a measly 5.3% (from 28.7% to 34%… when the all-time high was 94% and for over 50 years it was above 50%) is a threat. This is why, for example, Republicans are out there branding AOC as a “socialist” when her policies are really no different at all from a 1960 Democrat who believed in FDR’s New Deal. (Which they, of course, have also demonized as “socialism.”)

(As an aside, all this ignores the fact that most of the “literary canon” of Western civilization, or at least English literature… is Biblical or historical fan fic.)

And this is when I finally get to my point.

Those people out there who denigrate and mock shippers and shipping, the people who hurl “it reads like fan fiction” as an insult, and so on, are the people who benefit from and enjoy the extant power structure. You will see the same thing with self-identified “gamers” complaining about “fake girl gamers.” Admitting that the hobby has a lot of women in it, and a lot of “casuals,” and is indeed increasingly dominated by “non-traditional demographics” is an affront to the constructed identity of being a “gamer.” They are “losing control.” And they don’t like it.

This exact same sort of population is what the “fanbase” of Bleach has been largely reduced down to through a slow boiling off of any actual quality. Of course they’re dismissive of people who are looking for anything of substance: their identity, their “personal relationship” with the franchise, is founded on a superficial appreciation of it: things happening, flashy attacks, eye-catching character designs, fights, etc.

(What this really boils down to, at heart, is that society at large has generally told men that emotions are bad, romance and relationships of all kinds are gross, and that thinking and reflecting on things is stupid. So of course they not only don’t care about such things, but actively sneer at them as “girly” or “feminine,” which is again defined by society at large as strictly inferior. And this gender divide and misogyny is of course promulgated and reinforced by the powers that be, the capitalists, to facilitate class divisions just like say racism generally is.)

(The latest trick of these corporate overlords has been the weaponization of “woke” culture to continue to play the people off one another all the time. “If you don’t like this [poorly written, dimensionless Mary Sue] Strong Female Character, then you are a racist misogynist!” They are always only ever playing both sides for profit, not advancing an actual ideological position. It is worth noting that there was a push by IH some years ago to define IR as “anti-feminist” for critiquing Orihime for essentially the exact same reasons [admittedly, not for profit, but still as critical cover].)

Which makes it very curious, therefore, that the most ardent IH supporters tend to be women. (Though there are more than a few men, they seem to tend to support it because it is “canon” and to attack it is to attack “canon” and thus trigger all of the above, rather than out of any real investment.) I think there are a number of reasons for this (which I have detailed before) and at any rate it is not particularly surprising; 53% of white women voted for Trump, after all.

What we are really seeing in fandom, are again the exact same dynamics that we see at larger and larger scales, for the exact same reasons. The stakes are smaller, but the perception of the power struggle is exactly the same.

Of course, the people who are involved in these things rarely think to interrogate themselves as to the true dimensions and root causes of their motivations. People rarely do that in general.

Putting all that aside, I’m glad that you have found a place you enjoy and feel comfortable, and thank you for the kind words, although I am not of the opinion that there is anything poignant about the non-fiction I write. It is, as I keep trying to emphasize, all there to be seen. One just has to open their eyes. So, it’s hard for me to accept appreciation of it.

Anyway, don’t feel shy about coming off of anon rather than continuing to send asks. We don’t really bite.

#Asks

[sunevial]

Directors commentary: What it’s like writing the various forms of inhumanity among the followers

For this, I’m going to be completely neglecting how I write Young Priest, because he’s still basically human for the purposes of the Follower’s universe. He thinks, acts, and behaves with human qualities, even if he’s really not human anymore from a physical standpoint. That being said, there are some things I have hinted on that I’ll touch on later. 

I’ll break this up into two parts

Those Who Were Never Human, aka the Old Guard (Old Priestess, Lieutenant, Advisor)

Old Priestess is probably the most difficult character for me to write in general. She is complicated and layered, probably moreso than any other character I have to write for this universe. Compassionate yet oh so cruel, manipulative yet still somewhat caring, vain and self assured yet a little fragile, never wanting to be vulnerable yet still wanting to keep her own close to her chest. She is a scorned immortal, fallen from grace and power, and it shows in her actions and her words and the very way she carries herself. Her hatred of humanity runs deep, and no amount of revenge will satisfy it, but she is so incredibly lonely and so incredibly wounded and so incredibly filled with a sorrow even she won’t admit. 

When I write her, I write her knowing she is old, she is bitter, and that she values nature and the natural world more than anything. She is always in control of every situation she is present in, and she makes her presence known. She never uses contractions, has certain words she calls certain people, and she can flip between being terrifying to sweet on a dime. You should never feel completely safe when she’s in the room, even when she’s not using magic, and every other character knows that.

Unlike Priestess, who knows humanity inside and out, Lieutenant knew nothing of humanity before his time with the Followers. He barely registers all five senses (sight and hearing being the easiest, followed by touch, with taste and smell being the most complex), and at the very start, he only really had a grasp of one emotion: fear. By the ‘present’ day, he has collected a couple more, including anger, a sense of contentment, and possibly a sense of displeasure (and that’s pushing it). That being said, he is not a creature that knows malice, and despite his cold words, he never acts out of spite or with ill intent.

Combined with that is him being someone that is barely used to having physical presence. He never walks when he can just teleport, though he might to humor his colleagues. Physical matter confuses him, so anything that isn’t a void construct is difficult for him to properly use (his aim is terrible with anything that isn’t his knife). He rarely relies on his shell to perceive the world around him, as only a very small portion of his actual self is contained within that body. Above all, through, he is a curious individual, wanting to better understand this world he now lives in. He asks questions that most mortals wouldn’t think to ask, and even if he doesn’t feel emotions, he has learned how to perceive them well.

Advisor splits the difference between the two immortals, having less direct experience with mortals than Priestess and having a better understanding of them than Lieutenant. In many respects, he seems the most human out of them, always cordial and polite and professional in his manner. He is genuinely kind when he wants to be, always open to teach others or give a helping hand because he is a researcher and he wants to see results. 

This also makes him the most unnerving at times, because his oddness is treated so casually. He makes remarks that are eerie in their simplicity, uses reality warping magic with the same care we take to breathe, and he can read emotions and minds and the future with no effort at all. I never write his magic the same way twice, because much of his powers are based in the fact that he is chaos incarnate and does not hide that. Advisor is not scary because of what he can directly do, though that’s scary in of itself, but he’s scary because you quite simply don’t know how much he can do on the sidelines. There’s a reason why I write him with a sort of surprising upbeat flair; he doesn’t have a reason to be anything but. 

Those Who Were Once Human (Witch, Bookkeeper, Huntress, Part Timer)

As we’ve seen throughout the story of the Followers, Witch used to be a perfectly normal and perfectly sane person, someone capable of truly loving and fearing the world like a mortal. She’s no longer that person. Margaret was broken and battered, reshaped and reformed into the image of the people who trained her. Her empathy and compassion were beaten out of her, replaced with a sadistic cheerfulness that rarely drops. They bound her loyalty with string and thread, made her scream until she could scream no more, and so she was stripped of fear and sorrow. She takes deals and sells to all who come to her door. 

I write Witch to be emotive but not emotional, because while you can always tell what she’s feeling or thinking based on her expression, she doesn’t feel those emotions much at all. Her words are always just a little too empty, and that’s by design. The only time that it comes through is when she’s actively trying to care, because some small parts of her still remember what it means to be human. She shows those around her daughter, and that’s why she sounds more complete when they’re talking, because it’s the only time she is allowed such a luxury. 

Bookkeeper, in many respects, is the exact opposite of Witch. Knowing she sold her soul and life for something so trivial weighs on Bookkeeper heavily, but she does her work and she does it well. She has put up walls, walls to mimic the cold exterior of an indifferent immortal while she internally suppresses all of the emotions she still maintains. Because she feels, even if she denies that she does, because that is the only way she remains herself. She has willingly remade herself before, and she’ll do it again, becoming petty, selfish, and a master of the passive aggressive arts.

There is not a word that leaves Bookkeeper’s mouth that isn’t at least partially an insult, though she may drop that streak for Witch. She will never admit to anything willingly, but she will answer at least in half truths if directly asked. Her opinions are strong and firm, unbending and unyielding because she has read enough to win just about any argument thrown her way. She hates getting her hands dirty, but she makes no secret that she will do the work that keeps her out of the line of fire because she is deadly efficient. And deep inside her, she occasionally allows herself to pity, to care, to allow herself to care.

Huntress is stubborn, stubborn beyond belief because while being mortal, no amount of physical or mental abuse could ever make her break. She is strong, she is angry, she is flawed, but she owns every aspect of herself she likes and every aspect of herself she despises. Because of that, Huntress will always be just that, herself and there is nothing the other Followers could ever do to change that. If Huntress wishes to change, that’s on her own terms and no one else’s. That doesn’t mean she is mortal, though, because she was always just a bit more than that even in life. 

Knowing this, writing Huntress becomes a balance of making her not wanting to play nice with the other Followers but more than willing to play along. Her heart is hard and cold, and she has no sympathy for the pain of the people she loves. She laughs loudly and brashly, her emotions and actions always a little more feral. Her first resort is violence and she relishes in it, because there’s only one Follower who has a true bloodlust. She is impatient, unyielding, always up to play and to hunt and to hurt. Her compassion is rough, but it is there, and she makes sure not to lose it. It keeps her grounded.

Of the mortals, Part Timer has retained his humanity the most, and that’s saying something. Each of his personalities retain thought processes are still incredibly human, each very distinct in how they act and how they feel. Some are more caring, some are more angry, some are more scattered, and some are more logical, but all still retain a fair bit of humanity when everything is boiled down. That being said, all but one of his personalities has accepted that they can’t retain that humanity forever, and the good doctor is fighting to keep what little sanity he remains.

Taken together with his condition, Part Timer’s inhumanity is written in a man who can never be whole. He has little control of who’s in charge. His actions are consistent within the personalities, but they switch so rapidly and so violently that it’s hard to predict. While he tries to keep things light and polite, he still fears his colleagues more than he trusts them, and so he refuses to let his guard down even for a second around most of them. He resists learning magic, resists accepting its use by both the people around him and himself, because the more he leans into the use of magic, the more he loses his grip on his sense of self.

Now, for Young Priest, the challenge is to write him in a way where the hints of inhumanity are starting to creep in. He’s an artist, first and foremost, and already he’s starting to get a little lost in that world. His transformation is fueled by a desire to save his sister, so he needs the ability to do magic well. Something I’ve been trying to show how much magic tempts him, how much learning tugs at his morals and at his sense of humanity. His discomfort keeps him grounded for now, but it’s starting to lessen with every step he takes. It won’t break for a long time yet, but Priestess chose him well.

She knows that the temptation will someday outweigh his humanity, and she intends to make sure that as it happens, he stays loyal and true.

#ask me #the followers

[howtohero]

#276 The Self-Help Guide for Child Sidekicks

It has come to our attention that despited our best efforts and repeated attempts to prevent such things, many superheroes are still employing child sidekicks. (Read: child soldiers in their war on crime.) This is, obviously, still a horrible idea as most supervillain attacks are home to poison fumes, fear toxins, zombie carnivores and lots of loose knives, all things that children are famously not supposed to be around. And yet, we’ve seen time and time again that superheroes will actively recruit children, usually orphans, to help them fight crime. (I guess you can still call it a “one-man crusade on crime” if the person you’re waging it with is not a man but a child.) So, we’ve decided that it’s time for a new approach. Today we’re going to reach out directly to the children... Children still read advice blogs right? (Definitely.)

So, hello children, how are you today? Gleefully beating up henchmen in dark alleys? Kicking terrorists in the shins? Fab fab fab. Now, how would you like to stop doing all of that because, as it would turn out, all that stuff is extremely dangerous and you are a child and that is not the kind of stuff you should be doing at all. And look, I get it, you’ve got incredible powers, or a knack for kick flips, or an insatiable thirst for justice, and that’s great. Your heart is definitely in the right place. Nobody understands the desire to use your incredible powers for good at such a young age better than me. (Except, probably, for people who actually have superpowers at a young age.) But you’re simply not ready to go out into the field and busting skulls quite yet. Instead you should take this time to hone your abilities so that when it comes time for you to enter the crime fighting world you can start out as an experienced and professional hero who doesn’t accidentally blow up a school or get gross webbing everywhere.

As a young superhuman it is important that you don’t allow yourself to be swayed by the rhetoric of established superheroes. They’re going to tell you that you can be a valuable asset in the field, and that many supervillains are actually terrified of ten-year-olds in tights but don’t listen to them! They are most likely lying. (There is, admittedly, a thirty percent chance that they’re actually just stupid, lotta stupid superheroes out there. More than you’d think.) Trust me, all they’re thinking about is securing their legacy. They just want you to train you to be just like them so that you can take over their superhero identity when they retire or die or get shunted into another dimension. And I’m gonna let you in a little secret, they’re never going to retire and pass their mantle on to you. It’s a false promise! You’re just going to be another in a long line of proteges, apprentices, and sidekicks that get led on until you somehow grow older than the hero you’re working for. Don’t believe me? At the time of this writing there have been 388 different Hatboys. Anyone have a guess as to how many Hatmans (Hatmen?) there have been during that time? It’s 1. Hatman has always been Hatman. Still don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at what’s happened to some of those Hatboys.

Hatboy #1: Went to college. (Nerd.) Hatboy #2: Was turned into a crowbar by a wizard. (Was then lost in a big pile of crowbars that Hatman used to keep lying around.) Hatboy #23: Asked when Hatman planned on dying so he could become Hatman. Was arrested for “threatening the life of a beloved superhero.” Hatboy #46: Stung by a wasp and decided he was not cut out for the superhero life. Hatboy #73: The only female Hatboy to date. She left Hatman’s tutelage pretty quickly and struck out on her own. She goes by the name Helm Lady now and she’s actually doing quite well for herself. Hatboy #74: Eaten by a shark. Hatboy #79: Beaten to death with Hatboy #2. (Hatboy #2 was subsequently lost again. Nobody involved realized that he was the crowbar used to kill Hatboy #79.) Hatboy #86: The “forgotten Hatboy”, only showed up on one mission with Hatman and was never seen again. When asked by How To Hero about this Hatboy Hatman told us “there was never an 86th Hatboy”. Hatboy #100: The hundredth Hatboy! Can you believe some people actually thought this guy would be the one to take over Hatman’s legacy. Ha! Joke’s on them. He turned out to be a cyborg sent from the future to kill Hatman. Technically the closest any Hatboy has gotten to taking on Hatman’s mantle.  Hatboy #115: Sprained his ankle and was told by a doctor that he couldn’t fight crime for a few months. Hatman promptly returned him to the orphanage from whence he came (can you even do that?????) and had his memory erased. (What??????) Hatboy #166: Stung by bees, had an allergic reaction, taken to hospital, hospital ended up being a front for evil bees, every doctor was actually several evil bees in a lab coat, Hatboy stung several more times, has several more allergic reactions, quits. Hatboy #167: Hatboy #166′s twin. He got annoyed that Hatman kept calling him his brother’s name. Quit. Hatboy #173: Accidentally launched out of a cannon. Never seen again. Hatboy #180: Lost in enchanted woods. Hatboy #182: Actually a tiny supervillain. Hatboy #193: Trapped in Opera House of Doom. Hatboy #195 and Hatboy #196: The first and only time Hatman decided to employ two Hatboys at the same time. They killed each other after a dispute about which of them Hatman loved more. (A stupid argument, Hatman didn’t much care for either of them.) Hatboy #203: Turned into a crocodile. Is doing just fine now. Hatboy #209: Cloned and then fired for violating Hatman’s strict but fair “no clones” policy. Hatboy #213: 213... 2 13... 13 twice... that’s unlucky two times. Like hell was Hatman going to keep a guy like that around. Shortest time as Hatboy at three seconds. Hatboys #214-233: After 213 failed Hatboys the local orphanage banned Hatboy from adopting anymore orphans so the next 20 Hatboys were imaginary. Unfortunately, not even nonexistence was enough to protect these brave Hatboys from suffering horrifying and grisly fates. Hatboy #234: The first new real Hatboy in three years. In an effort to show the rest of the superhero and orphanage community that he could keep a Hatboy safe, this Hatboy was never allowed outside until he turned thirty. By this time he was too large for the Hatboy costume, so he was fired. Hatboy #235: Hatboy’s back bay-beeee and cooler than ever! This Hatboy had spiked green hair, cool sunglasses, a skate board, and pet monkey. Easily the coolest Hatboy ever. Shame about the thing with the immovable mass of dark thoughts though. Hatboy #266: Eaten by that same shark from before. Apparently it acquired a taste for Hatboys. It now goes by the name Sidekick Snapper and it is still at large, so if that doesn’t turn you off from being a sidekick I don’t know what to tell you. Hatboy #272: Accidentally run over by the Hatmobile. Hatboy #279: Part witch, melted when it rained. Hatboy #280: Part ice pop, melted in the sun. Hatboy #283: As part of an attempt at synergy between this blog and the superhero community, this Hatboy was actually our very own Curly! {It was not fun let me tell you. On day three he had me scrubbing out the(All right nobody wants to hear it let’s move on to the next one!) Hey!} Hatboy #294: Tried to push Hatman in front of a train to avenge his predecessors. It didn’t work obviously. If Hatman had a dime for every time he got pushed in front of a train he’d be three times as rich as he already is. He’s trained for this. He knows how to survive being pushed in front of a train. (We can’t give away all of his tricks, but it essentially boils down to “not letting the train hit you.”) Hatboy #300: The three hundredth Hatboy! A party was thrown in the Hat Cave and all of the still living Hatboys were in attendance. (All 32 of them!) At the party they cornered the new Hatboy and held an intervention during which they convinced Hatboy 300 to get the heck out of there and never return. Hatboy #315: Fell in love with an elf princess from a magical realm in New York’s sewer system. Hatboy #330: Ended up on the wrong side of a superhero civil war.  Hatboy #349: Stared directly at an eclipse, was temporarily blinded, and was then kidnapped by a giant bird. Hatboy #355: Tripped and fell onto a landmine. Hatboy #368: Brainwashed into becoming a terrifying assassin. Hatboy #379: Struck out on his own and became the superhero Dark Brood to reflect his new mature and humorless disposition. Hatboy #380: “Misplaced.” Hatboy #388: The current Hatboy, he’s doing quite well actually... for now.

If the horrible fates of these Hatboys aren’t enough to dissuade you from a career as a sidekick, what’s the matter with you!? The life of a sidekick is not as glamorous as it’s made out to be. You’re essentially an unpaid intern with a high mortality rate. You’re going to be getting coffee, picking up dry cleaning, preparing meals, waxing and buffing and repainting hat-shaped vehicles, fighting the gross and weird henchmen that your boss doesn’t want to deal with. It sucks! And for what? So you can get eaten by a shark or lost at the nightmare mall? It’s just not worth it.

Instead what you should do is band together with other superpowered children and pressure one of the older heroes into mentoring you as a group. It’s like forming a sidekick’s union. You’ll look out for each other in a way the adults won’t. You’ll make sure nobody is put into situations that are too dangerous for them to handle. You’ll grow as a group and forge unbreakable bonds, and when you all grow up, you’re going to be a generation of superheroes the likes of which the world has never seen!

Right now you’re in a great position. You have powers, and you know you want to do good with them. So take some time now, find others like you, receive proper training and when the time comes, you and your team will take the world by storm. Don’t rush into things. Don’t fall under the spell of a charismatic older hero that doesn’t care about anything but himself. Don’t rob yourself of the change to be truly great! (We regret to inform you that Hatboy #388 was just hurled at a lava giant in a failed attempt to slow it down.) 

#superhero #superheroes #comics #comedy #humor #funny #advice #sidekicks #child sidekicks #Hatman #Hatboy #The Sidekick Snapper #magical realms #supervillains #self-help

[joannie95]

Legacy- Part 17

Pairing: Carter! reader x ?????

Summary:  Everyone knows Peggy Carter is a force to be reckoned with, who could have guessed her granddaughter would hold the same ferocity, if not more.This story follows y/n Carter’s life as she faces the obstacles life pitches her.

A/N: I am making Sharon an absolute bitch. I don’t like her, never have never will. Proofread by @welldonebeca

Warnings: A very bitchy Sharon, some swearing

“You should meet her, you’ll both get along.” You mocked Phil. He couldn’t have been more wrong about Natasha. “Seriously Phil I don’t know why you thought we’d get along. She was a complete bitch.”

“You should really give her another chance, she’s a lot nicer than she made herself out to be.”

You gave him a deadpan look.

“You can’t be serious Phil.”

“I am, I talked to fury and he wants to send you on a mission to retrieve information with Barton and Romanoff.”

Your jaw began to tighten and you clench your fists. “No, not happening.” You said in an irritated tone.

There was no way you were going on a mission with her.

He had an apologetic look on his face.

“Sorry y/n but it’s done. How about we change subjects? Have you talked to Sharon?”

Your eyes rolled and you let out a long breath just from hearing her name. You were so close to killing this man and hiding his body somewhere he wouldn’t be found. “Please, tell me why I would talk to her. You know how much we hate, no, despise each other.”

He had a confused look on his face.

“I just assumed you would have told her about Peggy’s condition. I know you two don’t get along but she’s still your family and she deserves to know.”

It doesn’t happen often but you knew he was right. No matter how much you two hated each other you couldn’t keep her in the dark.

“You’re right. I’ll go up to her school today, this is something I should probably tell her in person.”

Later that day you drove up to Sharon’s school and waited for her outside what her roommate told you was her next class. You haven’t seen Sharon in years, the minute your family stopped making the two of you spend time together, you stopped. You don’t even know why she hates you so much, one day you’re getting along as well as any cousins would and the next she seemed to not want to have anything to do with you.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

You look up when you hear Sharon yell at you.

“Hey, I actually came because there’s something I need to talk to you about something important”

You saw her roll her eyes.

“I’m not interested.”

“Sharon I’m trying to talk to you, do you really think I’d be here if it weren’t important.” You crossed your arms and became increasingly annoyed when she didn’t listen.

“What part of not interested do you not understand, I want you to go and leave me the hell alone.”

At this point you were fuming and your hands were clenched into fists. You were so over this, you had something serious to talk about and she wasn’t even giving you a chance.

“That’s enough! I don’t know what your problem is, ever since my parents died you’ve hated me.” People started to stare at the two of you but you didn’t care. “If you want to hate me and act as if we’re not family then that’s fine by me. We’re not friends, we’re not family, we’re nothing.” You walk up to her, close enough to where only she can hear you. “I came here to tell you that grandma isn’t doing well. We went to a doctor and he told us she has Alzheimer’s. It hasn’t gotten bad, but there are times where she forgets where she is. I’ll leave now but, I just thought you should know.”

After you said what needed to be said you drove back to your lab. You don’t need Sharon in your life, you have plenty of people in your life who love you and will treat you better than she ever did.

Back at your lab, you meet up with Phil so you can discuss the mission Fury wants you to go on. “Shouldn’t Clint and Natasha be here to go over the mission too?”

Phil looked at you with a sympathetic smile.

“I actually wanted to go over everything with you first, you know, give you a leg up. Don’t think I didn’t hear the way Natasha was talking about you, I don’t want her to come up with a reason as to why you shouldn’t be on this mission.”

You give him a smile.

“Thanks Phil.”

“Anytime kid.” He gave you a warm smile. “I was talking with Fury and he thinks it’s best if you don’t mention the serum to Barton or Romanoff. He still doesn’t fully trust her, so it’s best to wait.”

“Alright, I understand.”

You were trying to think of how to tell Phil about your conversation with Sharon.

“So I talked to Sharon and I told her what’s been going on.”

“Oh yeah, how’d she take it.”

You chewed on your lip and started messing with your necklace. “We may or may not have gotten into an argument. And I may or may not have told her I don’t need her as my family,” you put your head down knowing the look he was giving you. “I’m not sorry, I won’t take it back. Phil, you don’t understand how she treated me most of our lives. After my parents died I thought she would be there for me but she changed. She insulted me every chance she got and she would even act as if I was invisible. After a certain point, I just gave up and stopped caring.”

Surprising you, he wrapped his arms around your body and gave you a hug you didn’t know you needed.

“I know, and it’s ok. He said in a soft tone. “I don’t expect  you to accept that, no one would. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, just remember who your real family is, we’ll always be here for you.”

Later that day, you went to your grandma’s house for your daily lunch together. You were about to unlock the door when you heard shouting coming from inside.

“I think it’s best if you leave.”

You’re rushing to find your keys once you hear the panic in your grandma’s voice.

“Aunt Peggy you’re not well, I think we need to go get you some help.”

Your blood started to boil once you recognized Sharon’s voice.

“No, please just go.”

“Aunt Peggy-“

You broke down the door down all together in desperation.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You could believe what you saw. Sharon was gripping Peggy’s arm trying to get her out of the house. Not even thinking, you grabbed Sharon and pinned her against the wall.

“I’m only going to say this once.” You told her in a low threatening voice “You’re going to walk out of that door and you’re not going to come back until you know how to act. And if I ever see your hands on her again I promise you’ll regret it.”

You shoved her towards the door and she nearly fell on the floor. Not waiting for her reaction, you walked up to your grandmother, trying not to frighten her more than she already seemed to be.

“Are you ok?” You asked her in a calm voice as you moved her to her couch.

“I’m not sure. What’s happening?” At this point, she looked genuinely confused.

“Its ok, I just came over so we could have lunch together” you put your hands on her face stroking her cheek with your thumb trying to calm her down.  “Does that sound alright?”

She had a confused look on her face that changed to calm. “Yes that’s alright.”

You stood up and began to calm down. “Ok good. Just sit down and I’ll make us lunch.” You sighed in relief, but you knew everything would only get worse from here. You hoped you were strong enough to help her whenever her mind started to go.

Legacy Tags:

@agentmarvel13 @1v-kayla @5sos-wdw @a-dancing-hufflepuff@annoylinglyaries @avngrsinitiative @bradfordsgreekgod @babypink224221@captainam-erika-trash @carisi-sonny @chook007 @cosmiccomicloverqueen@daniellajocelyn @doctoranon @ecamille-xo @ellieababy @futuremissstark@gummiwormsandonedirection @henrietteoaks @hermionie-is-my-queen@ineedmorefanfics @isabella-bby @jaemingold @junitorials13 @katykyll@klanceiscannon14 @littlephoenix-fire @lovemarvelousfics @l0kisbitch@ludwigvonbaethoven @maddie-laufeyson @magnificentsoulecollector@moli1497 @nanajaeminniee @orderoftheflamingflamingos @paintballkid711@pastelpurplexoox @princessizzy36 @shallowshawn @sillydecoy@spodermanpete @starstruckgardenstudentzonk @stuckyandsciencebros@thatweirdchick147 @tienna-laufeeyson16 @wishiwasanavenger @xalinx@zaza-jones @izzyisavengersupernaturaltrash

#peggy carter x reader #peggy carter x you #peggy carter x y/n #clint barton x reader #clint barton #hawkeye #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #phil coulson x reader #avengers series #avengers imagine #avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #avengers x you #legacy

[mickibloo]

My Tips for Arguing Veganism

Let me preface this by saying that I am by no means a perfect activist. I can get emotional. I forget things. I sometimes speak without thinking. However, these tips have proven to be extremely beneficial when it comes to discussing and arguing veganism with nonvegans, and I hope they can help you out as well.

1. Try your best to remain calm and civil.

It can be so hard to remain patient when we are sitting there listening to someone talk about grass-fed beef, or cavemen, or lions, or how there’s “no ethical consumption under capitalism.” However, it is human nature to become defensive when the person you’re talking to is hostile. If you make someone feel stupid (no matter the lack of foundation upon which their arguments stand), they are not going to want to listen to you. The person might even start to think that you’re right but refuse to admit it if you’ve been condescending or angry. The fact of the matter is that if you establish yourself as someone who is there for them as opposed to against them, they will feel much more comfortable with listening to what you have to say. This also has the added benefit of increasing the likelihood that the person will return the favor.

That’s not to say that there isn’t a place for anger and passion within veganism. What is happening to the animals and our planet is horrible, we all know that. But generally speaking, I have found this to be very helpful. 

2. Ask them to explain their arguments

This is one of my favorite tips. Sometimes when someone presents an argument, they will do it in a way that is too vague, too specific, too absurd, etc. to respond to effectively. However, if you ask them to explain their argument, such as asking them why they believe that or how that point is justified, you will often find that it boils down to something you are actually quite familiar with. 

For example, if someone tells me that “animals don’t matter,” rather than try and explain why they do matter, I will ask them why they think that. The person then might respond using some argument along the lines of animals being less intelligent, less beneficial to society, etc. Those are all arguments I know I can work with. If I had merely decided to explain why animals matter then I would have completely neglected the opportunity to get to the root of the problem. 

Asking someone to explain their argument is, in my opinion, the most efficient method of exposing hypocrisy or fallacies. You will also often find that it unveils inconsistencies between different arguments that person is making.

3. Don’t let them corner you with falsehoods

Something I have seen vegans distress over is not being able to respond to arguments that nonvegans have posed when in fact those arguments are just lies. Nonvegans, and antivegans in particular, LOVE doing this as it provides them with the illusion of being factually correct. An example of this would be if someone tells you that they won’t go vegan because a plant-based diet requires more land to be cleared for crops, and you wouldn’t want them to destroy the environment, would you? Of course, this is simply not true. However, a novice vegan might get flustered over this. They might think that they are left with the choice of either conceding or arguing in favor of a more environmentally destructive lifestyle. If someone does this, you can also employ tip #2. Ask them why they think that. It’s very easy to make generalized untrue statements, but a lot harder to support them with specific facts. 

Similarly, do not let someone present you with a false dichotomy and pass it off as being valid. I recently had a farmer tell me that in this world, it’s either “be fed or be the feed.” But that’s not true at all. They’re suggesting there are only two options: either the animals eat you, or you eat the animals. They failed to recognize the third option: neither of us eating each other. 

4. If you plan on advocating veganism, absorb as much knowledge from other vegans as you can

This might seem obvious, but it is so important that I felt compelled to include it. I would be absolutely nowhere if it weren’t for what I learned through activists like acti-veg, Earthling Ed, James Aspey, etc. I would have nothing to back up my claims and no way of responding to antivegan arguments. There would be nothing for me to say. Now, you are under no obligation to defend your lifestyle to others. If you choose to say “I appreciate your interest, but I would prefer not to talk about it,” that is completely valid. It is also important to recognize when you do not know enough about something to respond. Something I used to do was try and counter an argument despite not being familiar with it and consequently make myself look silly. Understanding your limits is vital in maintaining your credibility. When you find yourself in a situation like this, perhaps try directing the person to a source that you know would have more information on the topic. 

5. Take care of yourself

The weight of the world is not on your shoulders. It is not up to you to disprove every antivegan argument you see or to put yourself in stressful situations in the name of veganism. You are an activist just by being vegan. You are making a world of difference just through the choices you make in the marketplace. We all know that nonvegans outnumber us significantly, don’t let the fact that they happen to be congregating on a Facebook or Tumblr post stress you out. If someone eats meat, they’re likely not going to become even “more” of a meat-eater (unless they’re someone like sv3rige, but he thinks the Earth is flat and drinks people’s blood, so...). I like to think of this as meaning that the only direction to move for them is forward. I mean, if there are dairy farmers and slaughterhouse owners going vegan, who’s to say that Tumblr user doctor-who-potter-universe-69 blogging about how “100 companies are emitting 71% of greenhouse gases” won’t eventually question her own cognitive dissonance too? 

Well, those are my tips! Feel free to add your own as well. I hope someone found them helpful!

[megalony]

Baby of mine- Part 14

Another part of my Ben Hardy series which has gained lovely feedback which I am thankful for, I hope everyone likes this part.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac

Series taglist: @caborhapch

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lifting her gaze from the newborn in her arms, (Y/n) locked eyes with the two men walking through from the hallway into the living room where she was.

(Y/n) trusted Mick, she knew he had Ben's best interests at heart and that was one of the reasons she had called him, but that didn't help to calm her nerves when he suddenly announced that he was taking Ben for a drive. Ben was not in the best of minds right now, a drive wasn't what (Y/n) would have thought was something that could help him. Considering how he didn't want Libby out of his sights, driving him away from her- literally- might have been something that could make him worse rather than better.

But (Y/n) had to admit that the moment Ben was within her sights, it was clear that something was different. She wasn't quite sure what it was, but there was something about him that wasn't there when he had left the house over an hour ago. He wasn't jittering from anxiety, his eyes weren't darting around or drowsy or like he was craving a fix. He wasn't hugging himself or shaking or looking like he was going to drop dead at any moment.

There was no trace of panic in his system as if he thought something bad was going to happen to Libby at any given moment if he wasn't around her.

He just seemed... tired.

"Can I?" Ben tipped his head towards the sleeping girl in (Y/n)'s arms, his expression calm as opposed to frantic and urgent like it had been this morning when he asked her the same thing.

Nodding her head in response, (Y/n) lifted her arms as Ben leaned down in order to exchange Libby from (Y/n)'s arms into his own. One of the most calming, at ease expressions came onto Ben's features that took (Y/n) by surprise. How could driving around for one hour with Mick change Ben's attitude so much like this? How was it possible that Mick had brought back a different person- the old Ben?

Gently shifting Libby in his arms, Ben settled her on his chest just beneath his shoulder before kissing the ash-blonde tufts of hair on top of her head. Making sure she was secure against him, Ben reached his hand out to rub at his eyes which were beginning to burn from lack of sleep. He glanced between Mick and (Y/n) before deciding he wasn't ready for whatever conversation either of them was going to start. He loved both of them and was grateful for their help but he wasn't in the mindset for another long conversation or even an argument, he needed sleep.

"I'm heading up." He mumbled quietly, his hand indicating to the hallway to signify he was going to bed.

(Y/n) watched with intrigue and surprise on her features as Ben kissed her temple before walking out of the room. Feeling Mick patting his shoulder before he disappeared, mumbling something incoherent to Libby as he went.

Running a hand through her hair, (Y/n) turned her head so she was looking at Mick, her brows raised as her mouth opened but no words came out. What had he done? How had he done that? Had she suddenly missed a day or even a week? Slight envy boiled up inside (Y/n) at the fact that Mick had taken little over an hour to calm Ben down enough to keep him at a stable mental place. She hadn't been able to do that. When things went wrong (Y/n) seemed to have to call on either him or Cora to come and help them out but she wanted to be able to do something for Ben.

She was his girlfriend, she wanted to be able to have a conversation with him that could help him in times like these. Or to think of something such as going out for a drive or taking a walk or just going to sleep that would help Ben.

"What did you do?"

A small, tight-lipped smile came onto Mick's features that seemed rather sorrowful, as if he didn't think that he had done anything at all. He slowly walked over to the sofa and sat down on the end next to the armchair (Y/n) was perched in. His frame slouching over so that his elbows could rest on his knees before his head turned to the side. Glancing behind him, clearly making sure that Ben had indeed gone upstairs and was not coming back down for something. Meaning that whatever had happened or whatever he had to tell her was not something he wanted to discuss in front of Ben.

"Something desperate." Mick's tone made (Y/n) relief disappear within a split second. His expression made fear ripple through her body as she could see the guilt in his eyes for something he had done which he seemed to regret.

How had he done something wrong that seemed to make Ben calmer and more himself?

(Y/n) was sure that he hadn't given in to Ben's temptation and let him have a drink or a pill. Mick blew his top any time he knew Ben even thought about slipping up, if it happened Mick helped make it stop. He was not the kind who would give in to an addict and let them spike up their addiction. He wasn't even the kind of person who agreed with an addict slowly coming off of their addiction. Such as if someone slowly curbed themselves off of drugs, Mick was the person who thought they should stop all together and suffer the withdrawal symptoms.

So she was sure he hadn't given Ben anything or let him loose to go and calm himself with some painkillers and a bottle of vodka. Which begged the question, what had he done that helped but clearly not in the right way?

"I don't understand... he seems so much calmer than this morning. He's been without Libby for over an hour, what did you do that could be bad?"

Again, Mick took another look over his shoulder before he dug his hand around in his dark green coat pocket. A sudden rattling sound catching (Y/n)'s attention before Mick produced a white plastic bottle, setting it down on the coffee table in front of (Y/n). Leaning her head to the side in curiosity and confusion, (Y/n) reached over and picked up the bottle he set down. Her eyes widening when she read the label before her eyes darted to look at Mick with growing fury in her pupils.

He'd given Ben antidepressants.

Sure, they weren't painkillers and they were not his addiction but they were the same kind of thing. They were specifically for his mental pain and if Ben took one of these he would grow to take more than needed because he always felt he needed to top up to make sure he wouldn't get worse.

Antidepressants were what Ben overdosed on after Tommy passed away and they were what Mick found Ben with. Why would he give Ben more of them when the actor had sworn off them for life? They were the one kind of pill that Ben would never turn to no matter how bad his addiction got, so why did Mick give him them now?

"Are you insane? He overdosed on these, what the fuck did you give him them for?!" (Y/n) felt her heart picking up speed as she slammed the bottle down on the table, her body beginning to shake as she looked at Mick, trying to force the tears out of her eyes. This was not what Ben needed, he didn't need his addictions fueled in different ways because this showed they couldn't help nor control him. They couldn't control his addiction so they were giving in and supplying him with the less harmful stuff that was still dangerous to him.

Rehab would be better than giving Ben these.

"They're placebo meds." (Y/n) felt her jaw tightening as her brow furrowed. Mick had given Ben a placebo?

"W-what?" A placebo was just like giving someone an IV of water in the hospital but telling them it was morphine. It was a trick, it wouldn't do anything for Ben but he was now going to think it would. They used these in lab experiments and tests for trial drugs, there was always one person in the control group who got a placebo but didn't know about it.

"I took him to the doctor and asked for them to give him placebo meds. The doctor told him these were very mild antidepressants that you don't get addicted to but it's just like popping mints. If he thinks he's on meds then he might trick his mind into calming down and getting better, his back is in no pain and if his mind isn't either he'll get better. I didn't know what else to do, he's craving those pills, at least this way he can curb his addiction down because he thinks he's taking something."

Mick spoke in a low whisper just on the off chance that Ben was coming down the stairs or hiding in the hallway to catch what they were saying.

He knew it was wrong and he knew it was cruel but he had run out of options. Ben wasn't taking any pills at the moment and he wasn't getting drunk, he was clean but his mental state was deteriorating. Rehab wouldn't do anything because they were there to help cure addictions and right now Ben hadn't fallen off the wagon so Mick had no grounds to take him there. Rehab would help make sure he didn't slip up but it wouldn't help his mind.

He had a sudden thought that if he went to the doctor, he could ask them to give Ben dummy meds. To just give him some mints in a bottle or a saline injection or just something so he thought he was on meds to get him better.

Ben was craving pills to take away the mental pain he was going through but he knew he wasn't in physical pain. Antidepressants were just what he needed but it was too risky to give him the real thing. So why not just tell him he had the real stuff when he didn't? It was a proven fact that the mind could trick itself into believing it was getting better, so if Ben believed he was on the medication, he could think it was helping. No real back pain, no mental pain because he was on meds, he could get better by sheer will power and a little deception.

It was all Mick could think of and it was already proving to work because Ben had finally felt that familiar feeling of downing two pills with water. He felt himself calming because it felt like he was finally getting that craving he wanted without feeling bad because he wasn't hiding it and he was being allowed it. No one was stopping him so he didn't feel guilty and he felt calmer knowing he was getting help.

(Y/n) had to admit that this was a smart idea.

"But we're lying to him. What's he gonna do when he realises they're not proper meds? It doesn't feel right." (Y/n) didn't want to lie to Ben, she had never lied to him about anything before. How would he react when he found out two of the closest people to him were lying to try and make him better? Lying about something as important and crucial as this.

"How will he know? When he goes for a checkup or another pack of pills and the doctor tells him he's fine or if he decides he doesn't want anymore because he's better, no one will tell him." Mick was right. If Ben decided he felt well enough not to be on the pills anymore, he could go and tell the doctor who would simply agree with him and put on Ben's record that he took a placebo. He wouldn't reveal it to Ben because it would set back his progress.

If Ben wanted more and the doctor decided he shouldn't carry this lie on anymore, he could tell Ben that he had had enough and that he didn't want him to get addicted. He could say Ben was improving and slowly curb Ben off them and not need to tell him.

When it was over Mick wouldn't tell Ben he had lied to him because it would cause arguments and problems that he didn't want to deal with and it wouldn't be fair to set Ben's progress back like that. If (Y/n) then decided the same and didn't tell Ben then he would be none the wiser to what had happened. He wouldn't be harmed by not knowing, he would have gotten better even if it was under false pretences he still got better of his own will. They had no need to tell him.

"Think about it, (Y/n). If his addiction gets the better of him he can take a handful of those and not overdose. He might realise they're not the real thing but he won't harm himself this way, he could chug the whole damn bottle and it would have no effect. He is taking the safest thing out there for an addict that won't harm him when he eventually decides he wants to take more. Give it a few days to see if it works, please."

Mick couldn't stop (Y/n) from telling Ben the truth if she wanted, but if (Y/n) thought about it, the benefits were to stay quiet. It was lying to him but it was for his own benefit, that was the only time that it was right to lie to a loved one. Mick knew that now Ben was given the opportunity to take pills, sooner or later he could get too dependant on them or his addiction would get the better of him and he would take too many. When or if that happened, Ben would do his body no harm like he had done before. The doctor told him overdosing again would damage his stomach and probably his liver and that could one day result in his death.

If he took too many of the placebo meds nothing would happen except Ben realising he had been lied to. He would do himself no harm and that was what they wanted.

(Y/n) just needed to watch the effects happen for a few days. To sit back and see if it worked because they needed to do something, and these pills were already working their magic for Ben.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben x reader #dad! ben #imagine #baby of mine

[squirrelly831]

Fainting [Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon]

Warning: Namjoon’s reaction has to do with a panic disorder, so read at your own risk.

Enjoy~

Seokjin

May was a web comic artist and she was known to pull all nighters. Due to that, her boyfriend, Seokjin, would make it a priority to check on her at her apartment especially on days that she didn’t answer his phone calls or text. Sure, call him overbearing, but he knew how May got when it came to her work. She’d work herself to death if she was left alone too long.

So, when he found out that they had an early day, he was excited. He knew May was in a crunch as her deadline for her weekly post was nearing which meant to him that his girlfriend wasn’t taking care of herself. He sent her a text to let her know that he was going to stop by that night and make dinner, but his text went unread.

That night, Seokjin entered her dark apartment, “May?” He called out as he took off his shoes and headed to the living room. When he flipped the switch he was greeted with horror. “MAY!” He dropped the groceries without a care when he heard the eggs break as he rushed to his girlfriend’s side. May was twisted in pain. Her eyes didn’t open when he grabbed a hold of her burning flesh. He felt her forehead and cheek, “You have a fever…” He whispered. He picked her up and took her to bed before he went scavenging for medicines and a wash cloth.

After he cleaned up the groceries he dropped, he gave Namjoon a call and explained the situation as well as to let him know he would not be returning home that night. Seokjin made a quick stop to the convenient store and got some soup ingredients before he returned to May’s place.

Seokjin finished the soup and brought it to May’s room just as she was sitting up. May sought out her glasses when Seokjin rushed to her side, put the soup down on the night stand, and handed her the glasses.

She put them on and looked up at Seokjin, “Jin? Why are you here?” She glanced around the room. “Why am I in bed?” Her eyes widened, “Shit the comic!”

Before she could get out of bed, Seokjin’s shot out and pushed her on the bed, “You’re not leaving this bed.”

“Seokjin.”

“No, don’t Seokjin me. You were unconscious in the middle of the living room” he snapped. May opened her mouth to say something, but she quickly shut it and bit her lip. “You promised you’d take care of yourself. Instead you were overworking yourself even though you have a cold.”

“I’m sorry… I was going to deal with the cold after I finished my panels.”

Seokjin wanted to be mad, but the sad regretful face his girlfriend made was impossible to stay mad at. He took a seat on the edge of her bed, “Good. Now, you need to eat.”

Once May recovered, Seokjin took her out to celebrate her recovery and for hitting 100,000 likes on her latest chapter.

When her food was placed in front of her, Seokjin snatched it. She gave him an exasperated look, “What the heck?”

He grabbed his chopsticks and picked up some of her food, “Say ah~”

“Jin, I’m not a baby” she complained. He held the food there for a moment and May leaned forward to eat it.

However, he pulled it back and ate it with a satisfied look, “Too slow, jagiya~”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed her food, “You’re so lame…”

“No wait, I want to feed you once. I promise I won’t take it again.”

She grabbed her chopsticks and shook her head, “Nope. Too late.”

Yoongi

Amanda always told her best friend and boyfriend, Yoongi, to rest and not to overwork. She didn’t understand the life of an idol as she was just a normal college going girl, but she did know when Yoongi was neglecting his health. Though they dated, sometimes she had a habit of acting like an over bearing mother and not a girlfriend.

However, though Amanda was always on his case, no one was on her for the same neglect. As a college student, she had her own stress to deal with. One being the horrid final exams. Most of them weren’t bad, except her one chemistry exam. She wasn’t even a science major, but it was a basic requirement. Unlike other basic requirement course professors, this one was serious about her class. So much so that the final was 60% of the overall grade. Amanda struggled with barely scraping by with a 75 in the class. Failure was not an option.

Her neglect started slowly, missing one meal or scraping off a couple of hours of sleep, but as the exam steadily approached Amanda pulled more all nighters or ate a small snack through the day. Her head buried in a book and Yoongi would have never expected what she was doing. He had decided to leave her be until after finals season as he knew she wouldn’t so much as glance at her phone.

The day of the exam, Amanda’s nerves were haywire. She was surviving on coffee and an energy snack. Her eyes developed large bags under them that makeup couldn’t hide. Her hair was unkempt and thrown into a ponytail. When she finished her exam she stood and a wave of dizziness hit her. In her head, she reminded herself that she’d get sleep when she got home. She unsteadily made her way down the stairs as the steps blurred and refocused.

Her professor looked up at her, “Are you okay?”

Amanda’s head felt hazy. She saw her professor speak, but couldn’t make out the word. Her eyes rolled as she collapsed in front of the desk. She didn’t hear the gasps of the other test takers or when her professor grabbed her phone to call an ambulance.

Malnourished. That was all the doctor had to say to Amanda when she woke up with an IV attached to her arm. The doctor insisted on keeping her overnight much to her disappointment.

So there she was in the hospital bed as she waited for the nurse to bring her nasty hospital food. Her mind wondered to her exam. Had she been able to turn it in? Her trail of thought was interrupted when her door swung open and her boyfriend ran in out of breath and looked frantic. “Yoongi” she breathlessly called out. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a photoshoot.”

Yoongi shot her a look “I’m your emergency contact, stupid. I ran here when I heard you fainted. Exhaustion, fatigue, dehydration! Are you mental?”

Amanda looked down with guilt riddled on her face. The last thing she wanted was to worry Yoongi who had his work to worry about. “I was just trying to make sure I didn’t fail my class…”

He pulled up a chair to the side of the hospital and sat down with a relieved look. He took her hand and held on to it tightly. Amanda could feel how shaky his hand was. “I know you always worry about me when I overwork and I never took it seriously. However, when I got the call you fainted because of exhaustion. My heart stopped. We need to take better care of ourselves, okay Jagiya?” She nodded and he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. He wasn’t going to let her go through exam seasons alone ever again. He made a promise to himself that he’d make time to stop by her place to pull her from her studies.

Hoseok

Hoseok was at the practice room with his best friend and crush, Mariah, who agreed to help with with his new choreography. She was a dancer just as he was which was how they met. He went to her dance studio and took some classes and the next thing he knew, they were always together.

Mariah was dressed in a turtleneck shirt and jeans as the winter weather was insane. She regretted not bringing a change of clothes that she would be comfortable to dance in. The heat of their bodies was suffocating. She grabbed the top of her turtleneck and fanned her face with it. She sucked down her water and jumped up, “Alright” she clapped, “Break over.”

Hoseok groaned as he stood, “How many more times until we call it a break?”

Mariah placed her fingers under her chin, “Let’s stop once we can get to the first chorus perfectly. Remember, even if we mess up, we will go through the whole song before we redo it.” Mariah looked in the mirror to catch Hoseok’s nod. She hit the play button and got into position before they started dancing.

After the third time, Mariah felt dizzy. She crouched for a bit to try to refocus. She felt like she was on fire. She took a deep breath, “Alright, one more time.”

Hoseok noticed her ill expression, “Are you sure? You don’t look good.”

Mariah waved it off, “I’m just sore.” She played the song once more and got prepared to dance.

“Mariah, hey! Mariah!” She woke to the feeling of a cold water bottle pressed to her face. She slowly opened her eyes and noticed her upper body was supported by Hoseok’s body. “Can you stand?” She nodded and he helped her on her feet only for her knees to buck. He caught her before she fell and he picked her up, “I called a taxi, I’ll take you to the hospital.

Once at the hospital it was determined due to the excess heat and the tight turtleneck shirt, Mariah had overheated and fainted. When the doctor left, Hoseok broke down.

He held her hand as guilt overtook him, “I should have paid more attention you how you were feeling. I’m sorry.” He wouldn’t listen to anything Mariah had to say about the blame. He would accept it was his fault.

Namjoon

He thought he knew his best friend, Jessica, like the back of his hand. However, there was one thing she never told a soul. She had a panic disorder. She didn’t find the need to tell anyone about it as she was on medicine that kept her calm.

Though the meds helped most of the time, they didn’t help one day after she got into a heated phone argument with her parents. She was tired of being disrespected and treated like a child by her verbally abusive parents. She was tired of being pushed around by them. She did everything for them, sent them money though she was struggling with her own bills of tuition, took care of her siblings even though her mother was a stay at home, and ran their errands. However, Jessica reached her boiling point and she snapped.

Namjoon had entered her apartment without announcing himself when he heard her screaming. He ran into the apartment to see her phone shattered on the other side of the living room and Jessica hyperventilating. Namjoon rushed to her side to calm her, but she sobbed harder and gasped for air as she choked on her sobs. Her hand flew to her chest as her legs became jelly. Her attack lasted long enough that Namjoon called her doctor to rush over. However, as she stopped crying, she still gasped for air before she ultimately fainted which only made Namjoon panic.

Jessica’s doctor rushed to her apartment when Namjoon called her. She explained her fainting was caused by the lack of oxygen to her brain due to her hyperventilation. She wrote out a prescription for Namjoon to pick up for Jessica and after he went to get the medicine he went to her bathroom to get her small glass. As he was in her bathroom, he noticed a prescription pill bottle with Jessica’s name etched on it. As Jessica slept, he looked up the medicine only to discover it was an antidepressant and was used for panic disorders.

He was upset that she never told him she was suffering. He reached for her hand and stared at her unconscious figure. He wouldn’t confront her about it and wait for her to open up about the series of events, but he would look into how to prevent and stop a panic attack. He refused to let his best friend suffer alone.

Part II

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

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#kpop #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #seokjin #bts #bts reactions #bts scenarios #seokjin scenarions #hoseok scenarios #yoongi scenarios #namjoon scenarios