#I realize it’s no longer 2014 tumblr

[idontneedtobeforgiven]

Hello! I’m going through a bunch of old fandom things (slowly) and wanted some pieces I have to go to a home that wants them before anything else! I’m not asking for anything except maybe covering the shipping. If you’re interested, please shoot me a message!

#I realize it’s no longer 2014 tumblr #but maybe others want them! #marvel #black widow #natasha romanoff #hawkeye #captain America #I don’t know why I have the slutty Phoenix #clintasha #clint barton

[levmada]

every—lesser known—canon fact about Levi Ackerman.

infamously over the years, there have been countless false rumors about Levi in particular out of the cast. many of them have become popular, even ubiquitous, and it's annoying!

and also disheartening when you find out it's not true....

and hurtful when you realize it was - sometimes - made up by trolls.

so i'm making this post<3

credit to @levisfavoriteacup for the idea!!

*disclaimer: i'm not perfect, so this may not be Everything™️ but I am confident that it's the majority of information available, and that it's trustworthy. :)

First the most populars. There is no evidence across interviews nor other content over the years that:

Levi is ugly, and is considered ugly in AOT.

Nope. See here: (tumblr link), or:

Isayama finished his first sketch of Levi mostly on a whim, but the moment he drew his face, he had a sense it would work well / he knew he had something good. Something told him: "the yaoi fangirls are going to like this one".

As time passed and his popularity grew, Isayama caught onto this and wanted to portray him more attractively (in multiple ways) to the viewer/reader.

But from the beginning, this was something of the goal. He is short because Isayama had in mind what young women/fangirls in Japan consider attractive: a man with a higher-pitch voice; has a small face; and who is "short but strong".

In the world of AOT, he (in a nutshell) is mostly considered plain or awkward, but combined with his reputation and style, he's very charming. "He cleans up nice." Overall, it is positive :) But more importantly, realistic I think.

He's also something of a celebrity. People who advertise their product as being used by him are more successful; when he's seen in a shop, this by itself is considered "advertising" and more people come in. Quote: ""the tea that the hero bought”".

He's definitely not a 2/10 at any rate😇.

—the 24th episode of Naoki Yoshida's Anime Plan, 2013 / Interview with Frau Magazine, 2013 | Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) | AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 1 | Taking shelter from the rain reprise: Levi and Peaure

Levi’s type would be someone who’s "tough, feminine and sensual".

Levi's type "might" be tall people. But context matters, because in multiple translations "don't you think?" and "might be" are thrown around a lot. Isayama isn't known for his clarity. When asked, he practically said the question right back. —fan Q&A from a festival in Betsumaga, Aug.2014

What this quote might have come from is a statement by the author of an article Isayama was likely involved in. I can't say this is 100% canon, but in my opinion it's a little less canon than the Smartpass AUs; if those are sub-canon, then this is sub-sub-canon:

Levi's romantic type is someone who walks three steps behind him, and likes cleaning.

In the past, in Japanese culture, for a wife to walk three steps behind her husband implied highly traditional gender roles. What this is much more likely to mean is that Levi's romantic type is someone who will let him protect them, or will run away and survive even if it costs his life. (And they have to like cleaning.)

—the article is from 2013, and no longer exists. but the link was used as recently as 2021 as a source in this post by a reliable translator. I've found this quote also in varying qualities of translation across Japanese and English forums, so to the best of my knowledge, it's reliable.

Levi's cravat is a piece of his mother's dress + he was wearing her dress when Kenny found him.

This is a popular rumor that Isayama has never confirmed (i think it is true, tho.)

December 25th was chosen by his comrades because he doesn't know his actual birthday.

The guidebook only states that it is his birthday. I can't find any more context on this. —AOT Guidebook; p.256

His character profile:

—AOT Guidebook; p.78–79

His name is Hebrew, and means "attached" or to be "joined".

Isayama came up with Levi's name after watching American documentary "Jesus Camp". (It's about a summer camp-type program where evangelical Christian children are taught extreme beliefs. One of the children was named Levi.) Isayama heard it and thought it sounded cool. —Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) | 2010 blogpost by Isayama

Levi is in his early 30s (in s3/RtS/volume 19). –Interview, Universal Studios Japan’s SNK THE REAL exhibition, 2016 | confirmation

If Kuchel was still alive, Levi would want to make sure she had an easy life. This means specifically filial piety, a concept exclusive to the East: he would fulfill his duties as a son for her. (tldr he's a mama's boy :3) —Bessatsu Magazine, 2019

Levi would have thin facial hair, but he prefers not to, so he shaves frequently. —January 2020 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 124)

He doesn't like coffee milk or coffee jelly. They're out of the question even.🤐 —July 2018 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 106)

He just gets depressed when he drinks coffee. Maybe he loves tea that much? He stopped calling Hange names like 'shitty glasses' since they became commander because he "seems" to respect their position that much. However, a Smartpass story delves deeper into this (and states as I suspected): [After Hange makes a joke] "Since becoming the commander succeeding Erwin, they’d toned down on their past speech and behaviour that had a touch of tomfoolery; Levi understanding that they were nevertheless trying to maintain the self “that was the case then”, also loses the will to curse at them." + "In the past, Hange had a Hange-type dream, and should have been progressing to that purpose. That lately, was it the weight of the office of commander, or was it due to the reality that is “all the world was our enemy”, their manner had changed considerably." —May 2017 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 92) | Goodnight. Sweet dreams, dear. Act II: Levi

If he and Kenny had fought one-on-one, Levi would've won. —December 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 87)

intermission: all about tea

His favorite "food" is black tea. No actual food.

He doesn't add sugar or milk to his tea because he considers it too expensive—which it is canonically. Despite this, he will share his tea with his comrades (his original squad as far as is seen).

Even though he's Captain, he'd rather drink it straight (the implications of which are he's a hardworking man, like that of a farmer. aka, this makes him seem humble).

If a time of peace ever came, Levi wants to open a black tea shop (he said in a dreamlike way, not so much based in reality).

He also knows a good amount of facts and history about it. He's a tea enthusiast!!

Levi receives pilfered tea in shipments monthly, thanks to Erwin.

—AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 2 | Part 1 | Taking shelter from the rain reprise: Levi and Peaure | Bessatsu Magazine, Jan.2014 | September 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 84) | AU Smartpass My First Time Around: Levi Ackerman | The Case of the Corps Tea Party - File No. 09 Levi's Side (3/3) | sugar and milk in tea from the Japanese perspective

Levi, out of his original squad, found Petra cute/sweet in the general sense of the word "kawaii". Like Levi's romantic type however, this was sort of a non-answer to the question (of whether Levi thought she was cute). —2014 interview

After RtS, Levi seems to consider Hange and the 104th his family. —AU Smartpass My First Time Around: Levi Ackerman

He wears a cravat because Isayama based part of his design off Rorschach from the movie 'Watchmen'. He looks "delicate" because of his size and weight, but he's so powerful because [in issues before the reveal of the Ackerman bloodline] of "invisible power" at work. —January 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 76)

The best way to describe the way he thinks is to compare him to the main character from the movie The Hurt Locker (2008). His character was born from Hiei from the manga 'Yuyu Hakusho', and Rorschach from the movie 'Watchmen'. The former was the basis for his appearance (especially his eyes), and the latter was the basis for his personality. Firstly though, Isayama had an image of a small man being the strongest.

—Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) / Brutus Magazine (2014)

He is something of a protagonist (especially in s3p1). — Animedia, June 2018

His favorite tool (in general...?) is microfiber cloths (for dust I guess. Levi has no need for weapons :3) —July 2015 issue of Bessatsu Magazine

He will usually laugh/smile when he sees convenient cleaning goods (i.e., vacuum cleaners? feather dusters? ((cuz he's a shorty?❤️)) —Bessatsu Magazine, Dec. 2013

He does want to be taller sometimes. He gets eager to clean up after meals rather than cook at all. He can cook, though. —Bessatsu Magazine, Aug.2014 | fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018

Levi mostly couldn't adapt to the changes that came about after the truth was discovered. Only he wears mostly the same uniform, cape, and blades.

After RtS, Levi personally retrieved Erwin's remains himself, for whom there was a special memorial service. After Eren (inadvertently) called him a "tiny old man" in season 3, Levi didn't care, but when he thought of it by himself later, he was hurt (unclear exactly why). Levi's father, most likely one of Kuchel's customers, is an insignificant man who's short. That's where Levi's height comes from. His face comes from his mother. At the start of season 4, Levi didn't change much compared to the 104th because he's turning into an "old man" who'd rather stick with his flip phone so to speak. He "doesn't break out into cold sweats". AKA he's always calm under pressure. He considers prostitution to be an ordinary job because of his childhood. Levi's vision is very sharp, way above average. He thought Eren's new look beginning season 4 was unclean/dirty (in more ways than one perhaps). —fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018

He has slight bouts of insomnia. He never snaps/explodes when he's angry. But he does get angry or grumpy a lot, in general. He doesn't sing. It's more likely he would dance. If he was a fan of Momoiro Clover Z (jpop girl group), his favorite would be Momoka. When/if he drinks, he has a high tolerance, but he can get a little drunk :) One thing he highly hates and fears is mold. He is the one who ordered Armin to dress as Historia during the uprising. His blood type is A. Blood types are much like horoscopes in Japanese culture, and Levi's is as such: kichōmen, or well-organized; he likes keeping things neat, but can be stubborn and stressed out easily.

Whether he eats enough or has a good diet? He is "a bit lax". Maybe he forgets to eat sometimes, or has a low appetite. When Levi bathes, he goes for a quick shower then soak in hot water, which takes about ten minutes. Like a bird :')) He on any given night gets about 2-3 hours of sleep. He thought Eren was the best at cleaning (in season 3 / uprising arc). Because of his childhood in the Underground, Levi has a preoccupation/obsession with cleaning (specifically to ward off disease). He also doesn't have any pajamas, mostly keeping day clothes on when he goes to sleep - which is in "his" chair. Levi cuts his own hair using clippers. (Something like:)

He's aware Oluo imitated him, and found it annoying. Levi's horoscope (in general) as a Capricorn: Humanity’s Strongest Soldier - Levi. He possesses warmth in the midst of a dispassionate nature, and he is capable of leadership without verbal expression – both of which are special qualities of a Capricorn. Capricorns tend to hold certain levels of authority, even if they must carry out somewhat unreasonable tactics while in such positions. But when such authority is backed up with actual abilities, a Capricorn can gain Levi’s type of confidence and also be put on a pedestal by those around them. However, Capricorns won’t be dependent on others, much less trust them easily. They don’t hold high expectations and thus never feel a sense of failure. Levi’s faults include the inability to express himself clearly.  Even though he wants to encourage his companions, he always speaks in a roundabout way, and without Hanji’s translation it’s nearly impossible to understand Levi’s intended meaning. Even though he is dependable in most situations, when it comes to love/romance, he expresses himself clumsily/awkwardly. —FRaU Magazine, Aug.2014. | fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018 | Levi: Close-up Report (Part One) | Translator *the horoscope wasn't written by Isayama, but was published alongside canon information, and it's also not factually wrong, so I'm including it.

The dark circles under Levi’s eyes are to convey the “self-destruction” he takes on to reach the “standard” of Humanity’s Strongest. —Interview on the topic of Levi, May 2015

His 'liege'—as Eren is to Mikasa, and Uri is to Kenny—is Erwin. He is afraid of making deep relationships because of the cruel world he lives in; he can't know when someone he cares for will die or how soon. That 'gap' left in Levi's heart by Kenny's death was filled by his squad (the 104th). If Levi hadn't joined the Survey Corps, he would've been a "very irresponsible person". Risky with his life perhaps? As a kid, Levi used to make himself stronger in order to receive praise from Kenny. When he abandoned him, he wondered what his strength was even for. He was able to find peace with Kenny after his death. In CH72, the reason Levi kicked the shit out of Eren and Jean is because of his argument with Erwin earlier.

He knows he's a slave to his own strength, aka the idea of being a hero. He realizes it when Kenny asked what he's a slave to in s3/ch69. —Answers Guidebook, Aug.2016

If he ever changed his appearance, the one thing Levi couldn't be able to give up is his undercut :') He would grow out the top and tie it up :3 —Oyama homecoming event Q&A in 2014 | 2 | 3

Levi knows how to use a gun, but he "places more trust" in knives. —Bessatsu Magazine, 2019

Levi tolerates saunas. But instead of enjoying himself he seems to see it as a test of endurance. (LOL) —Bessatsu Magazine, 2020

Levi has newspaper-level handwriting that he practices often. He's very conscious of it and being connected back to the Underground. —AU Smartpass TEXT: Levi’s Signature

Isayama had considered killing Levi around the time of the thunderspear explosion. (As always) Isayama deliberated with his editors whether or not it'd be meaningful if he died, and they decided it wouldn't be. —Kawakubo interview, 2021

Specially, Levi holds his swords in a reverse grip "his own way" since he wasn't officially trained. —Illustrate Note Magazine, 2017

Levi forcefully bathes Hange by knocking them unconscious. —AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 1

Levi is 4 at the time that Kuchel dies. —What the director informed Kamiya Hiroshi of on set

His character song is called "Dark Side of the Moon", found on YouTube here. Translated lyrics here.

how to draw Levi:

—AOT Guidebook; p.229 | +Illustrate Note Magazine, 2017

#please share... this took days of time and effort #levi aot #snk levi #snk levi ackerman #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #rivaille heichou #levi heichou #captain levi ackerman #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #aot manga #snk #levi art #levi shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #levi.thoughts

[glitchadeli]

Soooo I'm gonna try uploading more of my AU to tumblr since I can make much longer text posts than I can on insta!! (though if you wanna see ALL the art over the last year of this AU's growth, I'd suggest going there!! But this piece kinda will help explain it a bit!! Prepare for A LOT of rambling ~

-

Sooooooo; I've been into TAWoG since 2013 right around when Season 2 was getting new episodes, from the moment I started watching I absolutely fell in love with this show, fixing on it for about 2/3 years (2013-2015) and while I slowly fell out of the fixation, the show never truly left me, ya know? It saved me as a child, helping me get through the roughest year of my life which was 2014.

As I got older, I had so many moments where I'd go back to it (I remember it being like every other year; 2018, 2020, ect.) but then the end of 2022 I was spiraling really bad and just not doing well, and TAWoG came back into my life again but this time it STUCK. (Saving me, yet again).

This time around I made next gens; Caspian and Pearl. Made on November 10th, 2022. (I remember it being 6 AM too lol) This piece for this post was drawn one year later; November 10th, 2023. ^^

Cas being a Penball child and Pearl being the adopted daughter of Darwin. When I first got back into the show I knew I wanted next gens but I hadn't delved into the show, wasn't really caught up but as a kid "the Shell" episode made me pretty excited so I was like "what's an easy gumball ship? oh yeah, Penball!" so that's how Cas happened. Pearl happened because I knew I wanted a "pet come sentient" companion for Cas and I LOVE axolotls so I knew it was perfect.

(Mind you, I stopped watching mid season 3 and only watched again when I heard about Darwin's origins episodes!! (He was my fav as a kid and I remember hoping for an origin episode for him so when that was announced I was so excited). As you'll see, I wasn't really planning much, I was just like "I love this show, I want next gens!" I had no idea a whole AU was gonna come out of it LMAO. I didn't think too hard about what I was doing. So; I had seen some of season 3 but I didn't know about the whole Rob arc or really anything about him. (I had seen "the pony" episode when it came out because it's season 2 but I was a kid and didn't pay attention to the one time he had his first 'role' ya know?)

ANYWAY, I was looking into this "Rob" character, saw people making "void Gumball" designs / GumRob next gens and I have no idea why but I was like "I want one" and that's what led to Zip's creation. He was made just 3 days later on November 13th, 2022 and if it weren't for him; this whole AU wouldn't have even started getting developed. See, I love Cas and Pearl but they were meant to be more "casual oc's" - I really didn't think I was going to keep using them or get as attached as I have. (honestly not understand my neurodivergence at the time either didn't help. if I had known that a hyperfixation could happen like this, I probably would've changed stuff but that's a tangent for another day.) Zip's story, as well as my AU started out COMPLETELY different than what it is now. It was dark/edgy, I knew nothing about Rob so I opted to make him the overarching villain and it just.. it was so bad. (Remember, I was at a low point so.. kinda makes sense the story was so.. yeah.) But as I started looking more and more into Rob I realized how wrong I was, like I could NOT have been more wrong, AND on top of that, looking more into the GumRob ship / watching their dynamic in the episodes... I kid you not; that ship grabbed me by the throat and has held me in a chokehold ever since. GumRob is genuinley my OTP and I cannot explain how much that ship means to me but, I'll ramble about them in another post. Overall; my AU started out differently than what it is now, but I'm happy that I changed it. It went from this dark, kinda edgy story to a lighter, fluffier (more romance-based) arc that plays HELLA into the cartoon-factor of the show. My AU is filled with dumb jokes like that, 4th wall breaks and just the silliness of the show - which I love. That's what I wanted and I've worked hard to get it there. (Yes my AU still devles into serious topics but I try to handle them carefully and still make it somewhat light since I play into the cartoon aspect, ya know?) Sorry for so much rambling, I just.. really love this show, my AU, my characters and I've worked SO hard on this AU (with help of my friends too) and I'm excited to talk more and more about it, without the fucking TEXT LIMIT ON INSTAGRAM. Lol. Hope everyone enjoys my dumb AU as much as I do ;v;'' ~ Glitch

#tawog #the amazing world of gumball #tawog oc #tawog next gen #the amazing world of gumball oc #penball next gen #darwin next gen #tawog next generation #ocs #my ocs #oc art #yes that human in the drawing is me lol #i love my ocs so much #you don't understand #aaaaaaaaaaa #My Tawog AU

[simonalkenmayer]

Saw you on my dashboard and realized i must have followed you at some point and woah… its crazy to see your blog now… when i was a little kid i was obsessed with your book. I distinctly remember bringing it to Hippie Jewish Summer Camp and creating a weird little kid book club which created a friend group of the few kids in the girls bunk who were interested (interesting to note that im pretty sure all of us who read it are No Longer Girls but thats probably correlation not causation or whatever) and went into the woods to figure out how to avoid being eaten (the solution was usually to leave the woods). Until one of my friends took your book out to read in the rain. Anyhoo it is nice to find your blog and see you supportive of trans rights and against antisemitism bc i know what it was like for some of my friends to find out that their favorite childhood author was very much Not Those.

Sorry if its weird reading about a bunch of kids reading your experiment but it is a good memory for me. Thank you for that. Not sure if i believe you. Still not sure but i guess the alternative is believing humans are alone which is kind of depressing.

Anyway my question is how do you recommend i get my hands on physical copies of your books? (I know your blog is online and all i just much prefer paper than staring at a screen for hours) I know I had a copy of the first one when i was a child (still do) but i don’t actually have any memory of how i came to acquire it? I mean, i can see listings for them on Amazon but i would rather not support that whole monopoly (and it probably wasn’t how i got the book originally because i didn’t have access to online shopping as a kid and i mean, you gotta admit its kind of a weird choice of a book for a mom to buy a twelve year old. No offense.) and if its on bookshop i can’t find it in the sea of normal cookbooks. If possible id like to buy them in whatever way supports you directly! :)

Have a wonderful day, and let me know if you ever want, like, a picture of my cat or something. (Also i assume from your blog header that fanart is welcome? But let me know if im wrong about that)

-Dandy

You can order the first book. I haven’t gotten the second back into print.

If you want an autographed copy, just message me and I’ll tell you how to obtain it.

It’s also hilarious to me that you say “when I was a little kid” as if it were plural decades ago. I obtained my tumblr in 2014. I didn’t do anything with it until the book came out in 2015. My website has been around since 2011. I’ve had the same pair of boots the whole time.

I am very honored to have been a part of your youth in a positive way. Thank you for telling me.

[freshrained]

BOY WITHOUT A CAR / A.I

Requested; no, but requests are open!

Pair; Ashton x reader

Note; first longer writing that im posting to Tumblr, and its sort of an au, based in 2013/2014. this has been sitting in my drafts for almost two years and it just needs to be posted lol, please be kind & i would love any type of feedback. more to come

Prompt; somewhat based off of boy without a car by the vamps

Word count; 1k

———

He sat there under the tree just glancing at her while trying to remember the rhythms he had to know for band practice later.

It was his typical spot, usually to just watch her with her friends. Everyday he'd come to the same tree in the courtyard of school. Most of the time it was a way for him to get away from his friends that were pissing him off, but he just wanted to see her, other than at 3AM.

He knew her, but she didn’t talk to him while they were at school, or public in general. He understood though, she was popular and he wasn’t. He was just in a lame band and he didn’t quite have himself figured out.

His fingers had stopped moving and he realized that he was staring at her, when she glared back he knew he had to leave. He just wanted to talk to her, tell her how he felt, but he knew she wouldn’t feel the same way about him.

hey pretty face, I need to tell you something xx

He sent it as soon as he was out of her sight. He couldn’t get over her, and the fact that he knew she didn’t even care about the ‘friends’ she was with, even if she never really got close with them.

Ashton knew she didn’t get close to anyone, but he was an exception, and he still didn’t understand the girl.

“Bro you’re late. Again,” Calum muttered, confused to who he had been texting, and he used to never be late to a band practice.

“I know, just kinda got caught up at school,” Ashton didn’t even think twice about his answer and avoided eye contact with the dark haired boy.

“Ash, come on that’s been your excuse for the last week, what the hell is going on?” Calum quirked a brow, not putting up with his bullshit.

“Calum, I’m serious, school has been kicking my ass and I’ve been trying to learn new songs, promise it won’t happen again,” he looked up at Calum, defeated because he didn’t want Calum to be disappointed in him.

“Just fucking play the songs,” Calum spat, hoping Ashton would spill at some point what he was actually doing.

“Stop being such a fucking asshole, Calum,” Luke glared at him, being the only person to know what Ashton was dealing with, he knew Ashton was being lead on, he knew Ashton was gonna get hurt at some point. He tried to tell Ashton and he wouldn’t listen.

“Guys its fine, he’s right, I’ve been late recently, I’ll step it up,” Ashton mumbled while sitting on the drum stool, hoping they would just drop the subject.

“How do we expect him to be on time when he doesn’t have a car and rides a bike?” Michael spoke up, trying to help Ashton out, even though he didn’t really know what was happening.

———

Once band practice was over, Ashton didn’t even know what to do. He still had 4 hours until he could go and meet her, so he decided to keep texting her and he knew it was a bad idea.

You know, ive never met a girl like you

Im glad i did though

Because you always have me wanting more

She never responded to him, but it was normal. He’d text her, she wouldn’t respond and they would still end up meeting at 3AM anyways. It was always at the park, and even though she didn’t wanna be seen with him, she went with it, and has kept with it.

3:01AM

“Ash you’re late,” she faintly smiled, hoping he would sit next to her.

“I know, just kind of confused because you still show up, and still meet me here. And I know you don’t get close to anyone. I’m just wondering how we got this far I guess,” he rambled taking the seat next to her. Ashton was so caught up in looking at her, he didn’t even realize she was speaking to him.

“I don’t know, you’re just easy to talk to I guess, you understand me, trust me I’m surprised we still meet every night too,” she hoped she didn’t lead him on because it was all fun in the beginning until she caught feelings for the boy she couldn’t be seen with.

“Don’t quite understand how this happened though, like I’m just a boy without a car, you have a car, you have guys lined up with cars that want to date you.  I ride my bike everywhere, and that’s no way to get around. like girls like you don’t talk to guys like me. and it’s so easy to talk to you, like I literally pour my heart and soul out to you and you don’t ever judge me, I just wish you felt the same way about me,” the last part he whispered, hoping she didn’t catch it.

“Fuck Ashton, if you had any idea about the way I felt about you, you wouldn’t be left high and dry all of the time,” she looked up at him, thankful something was finally being done about it.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He was confused, especially because she felt the same way towards him, even if she ignored him at school and wouldn’t ever respond to his messages.

“If it hasn’t been obvious this whole time, I like you, and I love talking to you, I know I might not be good at showing that, but if you wouldn’t be a dumb boy for 2 seconds you would know I like you back and would of interacted with you more,” she was messing with the hole in her jeans, becoming more nervous by the second because she really did like him and wished she hadn’t treated him the way that she did.

“y’know, you’re like rain, I love to drown myself in it,” Ashton smiled, glad his feelings finally got across to her.

“Glad to say that I feel the same way,”  she smiled, thankful for all of the times they met up to talk at 3AM.

#freshrained #writing #Ashton irwin #Ashton Irwin imagine #imagines #5sos imagines #5sos fic #Ashton Irwin blurbs #Ashton irwin x reader #fanfiction #calum hood #5sos #calum hood imagines #Michael clifford #Michael Clifford imagines #Luke hemmings #Luke hemmings imagines #Ashton irwin blurbs #Ashton blurbs #Luke blurbs #Luke imagines #blurbs #Michael imagines #Michael Clifford blurbs #calum hood blurbs #calum hood x reader #Luke hemmings blurbs #Ashton x reader #Ashton fanfiction #fics

[thievinghippo]

Hippo’s Writing Year in Review 2022

Believe it or not, this is the TENTH writing review I’ve done on good ol’ tumblr dot com. TEN. This upcoming April will be the 10th anniversary of when I created this tumblr and donned the mantle of the thieving hippo. Time freaking flies

For prosperity’s sake, here are all of the previous years reviews: 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021

I ended the year with 188,642 words. Well below my goal of 240,000 words. But I moved and had to clean out my childhood home, so I’m gonna give myself a pass on that one

I actually only ended up posting 4 fics in 2022. Worked on a total of 13 in 4 different fandoms (The Untamed, My Time at Portia, Dragon Age, and Mass Effect)

Here are the fics that were posted!

Two Bits (m!Hawke/Fenris)

you lift my heart up (when the rest of me is down) (Wangxian)

A Game of Chance (Wangxian)

The Boys of Summer (Wangxian)

I really enjoy doing a deep dive of the year, so below the cut is a fandom breakdown of 2022

Overall, 2022 was mostly The Boys of Summer. I’m really glad I chose to write it, but DAMN. I have never had more trouble with a fic before in my life. I outline extensively before I start writing but that method failed me with this fic. I outlined, started writing, realized something wasn’t working, trashed everything, outlined again, rinse and repeat. This is what I mean. The posted version of tBoS is 83k words. I wrote 130k in 2022 (150k total over 21/22). More than 2/3s of my words in 2022 was tBoS. To be perfectly honest, I’m really glad its done and not taking up my brain space any longer

Had a surprise fandom hit me in the face with My Time at Portia, which is SDV-esque. (I actually like it better than SDV now!) I love my OC, Lettie, and I love the unconventional romance path I set her on. I’m in the process of writing a total of 7 fics for the fandom, all part of a series. Four are complete while two are in-progress, and the last one is outlined. I don’t expect much interest in the fics, but they’re actually helping me a lot with my original fiction

Dipped my toe in the Fenris romance and made a new Hawke. Who I absolutely have to get in a game at some point. Astor Hawke, an archer. He’d call himself a dashing rogue but he’d be wrong

Then while I didn’t post any Mass Effect fics, I did continue to work on my Sonya Shepard alphabet fic. I made the decision not to post any chapters until it was complete. Only 4 letters left, so hopefully sometime in 2023!

#

So let’s talk the good, the bad, and the ugly

The good. The Boys of Summer is DONE and even though I was banging my head against the wall, I’m really happy with how it ended up. And I might not have made my word count goal, I’m pretty happy with the words I did write

The bad. Honestly, I can’t think of much. I made steady progress and I learned a lot last year

The ugly. I absolutely have to start documenting the work I put into outlining and planning fics. I wrote no words in June, but half the month was me struggling to outline tBoS and planning out the My Time at Portia series. I deserve to see that as productive writing time!

Goals for 2023

Write 240,000 words. Yep. I’m going there. I’ve done it before and I can do it again

Finish the My Time at Portia series

Finish Sonya’s alphabet fic

Finish two in-progress Wangxian one-shots

Work on my next multi-chaptered Wangxian fic idea

WRITE TWO ORIGINAL NOVELLAS

Yep! I’m finally gonna branch out to some original work. I’ve got a boatload of ideas and I’m ready to actually give this a shot. I’ll probably end up self-publishing, but we’ll see!

So that was the year. I am ridiculously excited to see what 2023 brings!

#hippo's year in review #hippo's writing goals

[headlessmania]

Hi guys. So. I have been reflecting about this blog. Find me over @isdeathlystill. Until then, this blog will be on a hiatus. If I do come back here, it'll be posted over at isdeathly. Love you and thank you for loving my idiots. :)

This is me rambling about why I need to kinda take a step back from this blog. These characters. etc..

The Cranes have been a huge part of my writing here on tumblr. 13+ years or something I've had them. That's how I met some of my best friends I have today.. So, I got such a strong urge to write them again this past year. I got their new fcs, some new story and lore that I created, and felt like I developed them in a way that I always wanted to when I first started writing. But, that was short lived lol. I spent my past few weeks looking back on old content as I've been trying to gain muse to come back here with my other blogs being so active and... I'm not too happy. Not one bit. The 2014 Cranes are so much more different than what I am playing now. Which is totally okay. But, I wish I did some development different.

I'm obvi not too proud of some old character choices. That's to say the least. But, I think just doing everything that I could to make them work again. For me. For everybody that's loved them just as much as I do. They are so loved dearly to me and have such a special place in my heart. I don't want to be having to change faceclaims every single time I'm trying to get muse back for them.

I thought about my two oldest muses that are still very active on my main blog. I have Snow and Roland/Big Bad Wolf, who were developed at the same time as them AND were a big part of their stories at first, have always stuck to their original. That's not the point tho cause I have many working muses who's face I've been changing. But it's every single time I want them back.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I just feel like I worked so hard to get that nostalgia, angst back when they were my only babies. I can't force them back now. They are loved and so chaotic and now I just don't know. I am not too happy with it and don't want to be writing mary sue/marty sue characters just to have them back and active and force a narrative onto them.

So, this is me saying I will be on a hiatus with this blog until further notice. Maybe it'll be a week after I've done some other blog stuff and realize I just needed to get my feelings out here or it might be longer.

Either way, thank you for loving my babies. They love you very, very much.

#( if you start singing i'm gonna throw up ; ooc )

[bowtiepastabitch]

Was doing dishes just a bit ago and came to the startling realization that every mug and teacup I own is a gift from someone I no longer talk to. My favorite mug is a silly 'live laugh love' mug from 2014 but it was a gift from my childhood best friend who no longer speaks to me and it sits more comfortably in the hand than anything I've ever owned. I still have a teacup I was gifted by my first ever girlfriend, and a coffee mug I was gifted by an old coworker because it made her think of me. I have a reusable starbucks tumblr that I got as a thank you from a teacher whose classroom I volunteered in in middle school. Every time I make tea I am reminded of all the people who have loved me in their own way.

#you ever just get sentimental while doing the dishes

[vulnus-sanare]

how long have you been a fan of snape? how did it happen ? :-)

Hey! Buckle up, and I love you for asking me this. I write too much, I have to apologize in advance. Late "bloomer" on HP world here. 2010! I had a group of friends and one of the guys was (still is) the most dedicated fan of HP since his childhood. When DH pt1 came to the theatres he wanted to see it badly and the group went with him even though we didn't understand shit of the story. When I left the theatre I was so full of questions and baffled at the story that I went home and watched the other movies (because I was overwhelming my friend with questions and was starting to get on his nerves). Then, I discovered online the Stephen Fry audiobooks, and I basically brainwashed myself with them without a pause because I couldn't afford to buy the actual books back then. I was 17. So the magical world of Harry Potter that every kid back in my day had in their childhood, I was getting it at 17. I don't know how to justify my fixation over Snape. It just happened. The first impacts that I had with Snape were:

a) Alan Rickman taking my breath away with the emotion he conveyed to Snape's eyes, so mysterious, so intriguing b) How little they exploited his whereabouts in the DH1. Of course, that when I learned about the Prince's Tale, I poured my heart out onto my hand and offered it eternally to Snape. Tumblr was quite the thing to feed my obsession until 2013/2014 +/-. It was an outlet. But then something really fucked up happened in here and I lost some online friends. Made a bunch, who I managed to already meet IRL and one of them became my first love. But the ones I lost ... I still miss them. Never knew who they actually were, what happened in their personal life that took them completely away... one of the "Snapes" that used to role play in here had a severe mental disorder and I suspect they are no longer amongst the living. And ... was a heck of a Snape. Anyway. Now I'm going through stuff, call it the 30 year old crisis, add a recent break-up to that, and here I am on Tumblr again after 10 years (i think) searching for Snape fanart, fan theories and anything that will keep my head busy so that I don't have to face the reality outside my screen. That, work and paint-by-numbers 🤣🤣 Snape brings me comfort in a way I cannot explain. And I realized that my understanding of this incredibly complex fictional character is maturing, the older I get. There are too many questions to answer regarding his life, his motivations, his desires. Snape is not B&W, not even a spectrum of colours, nor textures, or scents. He was a human being who made mistakes, and in the end, so are we. *phew* sorry for that. Love you for asking this question. I was about to reciprocate the question but I have read your post a couple of days ago 🤗

[riwrite-a]

✧.   get to know the author !

name : mo

pronouns : she / him

preference of communication : either discord or tumblr ims! whichever is easier for my partner/s

most active muse ( s ) : toya :) my baby boy my everything. tho even tho most of my posts are abt him rn i do really miss writing some of my other muses so PLEASE never be afraid to ask for anyone i dont talk abt much!! i love all my kids

experience / how many years : ive been rping practically since i first had free reign on the internet, so since abt the late 2000s? on tumblr specifically ive been writing since 2014 ( almost a decade what the hell )

best experience : idk if i can really pin it down to one experience, but honestly i think the reason im still here is bc of my experiences in the under/tale rpc in 2015/16. which sounds wild bc of the reputation that it has but i still think fondly of all my old mtt dupes from back then bc a whole group of us were friends. it helps mitigate the dupe anxiety i get now, too. and secondarily i also think a lot abt my time in the lozrpc on twi’s solo blog a few years ago. i feel pretty divorced from the community now due to having a multi but despite the downs there were considerable ups and i still love a lot of the people i met there

rp pet peeves : " let me write you a reply using the worlds smallest icon “ girl i cant SEE IT. also over - formatting tends to be really hard for me to read, especially overuse of spaces. like sure i like to add extra spaces to emphasize punctuation but if it’s like 10 spaces between every word then it’s incredibly hard for me. thankfully i havent seen as much of either lately as i used to

plots or memes : i never know how to answer this question bc? both? memes are a great icebreaker and great for shorter explorations of a muse and their character or their relationship to the sender. but plotting is best for longer, more in-depth threads! that said i feel like i don’t plot enough ( i am so shy and reaching out to plot is very hard 👍 ) and i think i need to do it more

are you like your muse ( s ) : well i have too many muses to give this a yes or no answer but uh. toya? yeah i relate a lot to his general mindset and the optimism with which he sees the world, and i think it’s largely a coping mechanism for both of us. plus maybe its bc i was realizing im autistic shortly before i got into pr/sk but he was the first character i looked at and said ‘ oh hes autistic isnt he ’ so i also share that w him <3 as for other muses um. spins wheel. ghirahim? no lol

tagged by. @evintide thank u!! <3 tagging. im usually too nervous to tag people in these so lmao if u wanna do it feel free to say i tagged u!!

#this got me trying to remember where the first place i rped was and i think. it was some hp forum? genuinely no idea #but i used to exclusively write ocs and thats wild bc i havent written an oc in AGES #i have plenty i just. never even consider writing them anymore #‧ miscellaneous. → 「 out. 」

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Decided today that I have spent too much time lately seeing and hearing Tim Minchin play bit parts in other people’s shows, while I watch old comedy festival clips on YouTube and listen to Mark Watson’s radio shows and things like that, and not enough time on his own stuff. It’s probably been 3 or 4 years since I last had a night of just clicking through Tim Minchin videos and watching them. I used to do that every six months or so.

I’ve spent this morning fixing that, and it’s a great way to spend a morning. I start, as always, with the first Tim Minchin video I ever saw, and work outward from there. I remember it well, one day in 2014 when my friend from New Zealand was crashing on my couch for a couple of weeks. He was training for the Commonwealth Games, so he basically had a month of incredibly hard exercise and eating almost nothing (weight cutting: it’s bad for you and you shouldn’t do it, kids, I do not endorse it, but sometimes if you do it really well they let you fly to Glasgow and get beaten up by people from India, so that’s pretty cool), and was sore and exhausted all the time, so we’d get back from practice together and just lie down on the living room carpet and talk about nothing as a distraction from being sore and tired.

One night, we’d gone from discussing our shared left-wing political views to our shared views on what women in our sport were most attractive, and then started questioning whether the second discussion might sort of clash with the first. And he said, “I have to show you something,” and opened his laptop. We’d already bonded over shared love of Flight of the Conchords, so he was confident that our comedy tastes overlapped enough for this to not be wasted on me. And it wasn’t. I watched that one and immediately demanded to see more of this strange red-haired man. This red-haired man gets it.

Here are a couple of my other favourites, discovered since then:

The time he raised money to help survivors of the Catholic Church’s sex crimes to fly to Rome and hear evidence about it, by writing a song in which he called a Cardinal accused of covering it up a God damn coward:

I just listened to this one for the first time in several years, and I can’t believe I never realized before that the Chocolate Milk Gang has a theme song:

It occurred to me today that I haven’t seen much of him recently, and thought I’d look up what he’s done in the last few years. And good news! This isn’t a case of one of those people used to be awesome but then you find out they went in some terrible direction or other. These days, as far as I can tell, the biggest difference is that he’s moved away from the comedy-about-serious-subjects and toward more serious songs, which are beautiful and seem to be mainly about how much he loves his wife and kids. He’s grown his hair even longer and looks a bit like Bill Bailey now. So that’s pretty much the ideal answer when you think “I wonder what that guy who was great ten years ago is doing now”. Much better than the answer you’d get if you’d been a fan of, say, Russell Brand in his stand-up days.

I could show you what he looks like now by sharing one of those beautiful serious songs, which everyone should definitely look up, but I’m instead going to show you his current look (or at least, only a couple of years old) via this video he did at the 2020 BAFTAs, because “I know our job is to hold the mirror up to society, but I’ve been avoiding mirrors of late because it’s got so God Damn ugly” is a really good line. Tumblr won’t let me embed more than five videos in a post, but click on this link to see Tim Minchin looking a bit like Bill Bailey.

Also, it turns out that Rock ‘n’ Roll Nerd has a follow-up now, and it’s really fucking good. So good. Most musical comedians are comedians who can also play music; Tim Minchin is clearly leagues ahead of that. Amazingly talented musician.

[fiction-is-passion]

Y'all wanna hear a story time? It's a long read so grab a red bull and doritos cuz I got some shit to say

So, let's time travel WAY back to 2014. During my senior year of high school, I was what you'd call an orchestra kid. Cringe doesn't defy how weird we were back then. Y'all orchestra kids got it easy now and not be ostracized by the other students.

Now you know my past. Time for the nit and griddy of this post. You see, I was a very cringy fan girl. I shipped whatever I wanted, and loved villains with it now being problematic in fandoms to not love anyone problematic. I yandere laughed to spook people at lunch.

I was into Sherlock, Doctor Who, Hetalia the works! All those Tumblr shit in 2013-15. I was neck deep into those fandoms. Also mind you i didn't get a Tumblr until '15 but I degress.

The point is, online during 13-15 was the glory days of fandoms. Ship wars were ironic with no malicious implications, you can make posts of your favorite celebrity and enjoy their works. Slash fics were called lemons. Anime was becoming more mainstream. The hottest men in Hollywood who were the kindest men alive happened!

I remember those days...less on finding dirt on celebrities and getting them canceled. The weeb community had no infighting on what's the best anime. How we consumed media is now changed to, better observe it like an essay and not for entertainment.

Hell back during this time period. The idea of being LGBTQ+ was a huge monumental thing in the US. Lady Gaga showed every young person in this era to love themselves and to cherish it. Gay marriage was becoming legal in all 50 states. We were proud of being who we are because everyone of the people who were superficial started to see us be happy with our bodies and our lives.

So what happened? In my honest opinion. Not paying attention to the other side. The gross Republicans. Yes. Them. Hear me out, once 2016 hit and we were getting orange man as president, it didn't get worse......and it did.

It got much MUCH worse! Now we have actual neo nazis and TERFS infiltrating groups to radicalize the boomers and gen x'ers into taking on a more violent approach. Racism has never been higher. Women are no longer safe. The government literally hates the poor. Towns actively use religion for hatred towards LGBTQ people. Healthcare is impossible. I can go on.

All because we were having a good time online and enjoying our time, oblivious to the world around us. If we were woke back then, we might of had Hilary as president but we didn't. We had anit sjw channels at its peak that influenced how we spoke. Trump literally used memes to get into the white house.

Now aways the new generation of us dont realize how much danger we are in. This is the "cringe crowd". The outcasts. The neruodivergant community to influence fandoms. We have anti shippers that go online and fantasize killing pro shippers...why are they not on an FBI watch list? Incels should be on the FBI watch list but whatever.

AND WERE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE ICEBERG!

And it'll get worse over time because young people under the age of 22 don't know how to communicate with millennials over the age of 25 who are also neruodivergant. We were online playing video games while we ignored boomers who talked shit about us and it worked. Now they have to put up with politicians in office who want to remove our rights.

All I'm saying here is sure we're generation fucked, yelling online about how a character is problematic and it affects real life. Their anger is directed at another person on the other side of the screen thinking it's activism.

Being woke is not activism.

It just means you see the bigger picture.

It's ok to argue online with strangers. Idgaf. Its the internet. What I do give a fuck is when your actions caused a person to be admitted into the hospital. Because of fiction.

It always circles back to fiction!

We're humans, were a bored af species. We wanna complain, we wanna cause havoc. It's what we are! We watch the same shows because no other shows peck our interests. Play the same game because it brings you joy after a stressful day at work. We read fan fiction to escape our horrible reality.

Fiction IS our reality. It's human nature to be affected by fiction and influence us. It's been that way for centuries hell even before mankind knew how to fucking read. Why do we use entertainment? It's to escape the harsh real world.

So to the people who have the notp, or proship dni in your carrd or bio. You're not making a statement. You're not being inclusive. You're alienating people who wanna be your friend online. There's so much to being proship and pro fiction! Not just. Pr0sHiPrs pèedos ewww.

Most of us are normal average people who ship and don't harass people over it. Hell some of us dont ship anything problematic!

Your anti shipping is also the same as TERF redoric. Think about it. Why do you get these gender critical blogs following you? Because you sound and act like them! You're a hypocrite!

Half the time, real actual predators get away with harassment because you sent death threats to an artist or writer when you can block the tag or not search it!

Hell your precious little cult even got a predator in it! Yet you did nothing. You didn't understand your actions you partake in sending gore to a user ans sent them to a hospital and activity celebrate an innocent person getting hurt! Endangering their life!

What in the ever loving fuck is wrong with you?

Yes, this is the internet. It's not a safe space. It's no excuse to be this low to actual neckbeards who actually harm women and lgbtq folks.

Death threats and harassment does not equal activism or being progressive.

It's called being a dick.

And don't be a dick to people online for no reason. It really gives fandom the toxic trait because of it.

To anyone else who's reading this, we're on the same team. We're being proactive of our society and trying to change it and be good people. Stop it with the unwanted harassment, stop activily putting people on a pedestal because they don't know you, quit blaming fiction and mental health for your bad behavior.

I can add some resources for anyone who is in a situation that you can't get out of. I know what you're going through. We're generation fucked. We stick together and consume our favorite movies, comics, TV shows, games and books to escape from the world.

So quit being rude online, quit your shit, quit your gaslighting, quit bitching about ships that don't affect you, quit acting like its the end of the world if porn exists! Let people do whatever the fuck they want with fiction. You don't own the property or the rights soooo....

Guess that's really it!

Drink water, get 8 hours of sleep, start your journey to self discovery and begin again. It's never too late.

#long rant #pro fiction #proship #proship friendly #anti anti #harassment mention #problematic content

[summ1nt]

new iwaoi brainrot just dropped

did i return to tumblr for the first time since 2014 bc i genuinely cannot stop thinking abt haikyuu after my most recent rewatch? yes.

did i create a whole storyline for iwaoi based off of one album ive been listening to too much recently? also yes.

ive been listening to woman on the internet by orla gartland an unhealthy amount and functionally created a songfic abt iwaoi's relationship over the years bc i am just Like That(TM). if u decide to read all of this, i highly recommend listening to the album while u do. great album, 100000/10

this ended up WAY longer (and angstier) than i anticipated, tho idk why i expected anything different. enjoy!

things I've learned starts us off, as iwa's general background song. he's much more secure in himself than oikawa is from the beginning, which is partially manufactured from being friends with oikawa since they were kids. since oikawa has a tendency to get really upset with himself and bogged down by his own insecurities, iwa is always the one reminding him to keep his eyes on the goal and to take things at this own pace. iwa kind of has to be the stronger one for oikawa in those moments of weakness; oikawa is there for him too, but he just has more insecurities than iwa does generally. this song starts us with iwa's general messaging to oikawa throughout middle school and starting high school.

you're not special, babe IS THEIR THEME SONG. this song is all iwa reminding that oikawa is doing well, digging him out of the holes he sticks himself in, and constantly being the pillar of strength that oikawa needs to build himself back up each time he falls. i think this song applies a LOT in high school, post-altercation with kageyama, at the start of oikawa being starting setter, and oikawa's constant need to prove himself. this IS iwa reminding oikawa that they're in this together, and he'll always have him to lean on.

more like you is oikawa's admiration of iwa. this gets us into mid-first year high school, like around spring tournament. iwa's unwavering confidence, his ability to always lift oikawa up, his assurance that there's no setter and no friend he'd rather have than him. this is oikawa realizing he loves iwa, realizing he's bi/pan, and trying to learn how to take care of himself all at the same time. it's simultaneously full of love and heartbreak, the idea that he can't tell if the tightness in his chest after iwa scores off his emergency set is from jealousy or adoration. oikawa staying up late watching videos about being lgbtq+ in a country that's not very welcoming to gay people, trying to learn who he is and trying to love that, his struggle to want to be less of a burden to iwa and wanting to be able to stand next to him proudly while grappling with a new part of himself. wondering if he really can stand next to iwa when oikawa's feeling this way about him and doesn't know how it'd be received.

over your head is from iwa watching oikawa fall into the same habits from middle school after losing to shiratorizawa twice first year, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object and failing over and over and over again to push it aside. it's iwa watching oikawa clearly struggle with something and refuse to tell him about it, it's watching oikawa pull away bit by bit and isolate himself because he feels responsible for their losses, feels responsible for having these emotions towards iwa and not being able to face him until they can stand proudly at nationals. (iwa doesn't know that first part, obviously). "it feels like drowning" is oikawa, struggling with feeling like he's losing everything; losing in his passion, and losing his best friend because he can't stand to look at him when he feels like he has caused so much pain for the team.

zombie is iwa's response to oikawa from over your head. he's sick of oikawa's "coping mechanism" of isolating himself when he hurts, unable to really process his feelings. it's iwa being tired of oikawa always pushing him away right when he knows oikawa needs him the most. he just wants oikawa to stop staying late after practice, stop furthering injuring himself, stop watching videos until 3am on game days and showing up to classes with darker and darker eyebags. he wants oikawa to take care of himself for fucking ONCE. he's not gonna be patient and wait for oikawa to get it together, because he's been trying that, and oikawa's only getting worse. this peaks after oikawa injures his ankle right before the practice game with karasuno third year, and they have a huge fight right when it happens. luckily, they work it out, and they're back to normal for the practice match itself. the rest of third year passes without much incident.

madison is iwaoi post-graduation. this starts off from oikawa's perspective. oikawa confessed to iwa at the end of their third year at the neighborhood park they'd met at when they were kids, after they celebrated their graduation with matsukawa and hanamaki. iwa didn't take it very well, was so shocked he just stared at him blankly. oikawa ended up leaving and they haven't really talked since, and now he's in argentina and going through the worst home sickness in his life; not only for japan, but for the person he has always been able to rely on. he's alone, really and truly, for the first time in his life. "do you ever think about me just pouring my heart out?". oikawa regrets confessing, wishes he's just kept his fucking mouth shut the way he had for three years prior, because he took the most meaningful relationship in his life and feels like he fucked it all up. iwa, during this time, is just trying to grapple with the idea that oikawa likes him; he doesn't even know what to do with that idea, feels awful for leaving him on radio silence but thinks anything he would say would just make it worse. slowly but surely, the space between them widens.

do you mind? is oikawa learning to deal with the distance. they had a weird, stilted conversation where they somehow avoided talking about the confession, and silently agreed to never bring it up again so they could keep their friendship. it's better for a while, iwa talking about his classes, oikawa complaining about the culture shock, both bonding over having to learn new languages, but then iwa gets a girlfriend second semester. and oikawa pulls away, because as much as he loves his friend, it's too painful to watch someone else have what he wants. oikawa slowly retracts back, not picking up phone calls, one-word responses to texts, excuses about team bonding and perfecting a new serve making him too busy for their weekly video chat. wondering if iwa even notices that they don't talk as much anymore or if he's too busy with his girlfriend. it still hurts, but it's a duller ache than last time. it's less sharp, less acute, but it never really goes away. iwa not wanting him isn't new, but iwa wanting someone else is. and that makes it more manageable, but also so much worse than before.

codependency is the breaking point (and my favorite song on the album). this is iwa and oikawa realizing, separately, that they've always relied on each other. their lives are intricately linked, and every up and down they've had together. it's the two of them wanting to be free from their relationship for the first time. iwa wants to go about his life without having to think about someone else, how it would affect them, and what they're thinking or feeling at every moment. oikawa is tired of waiting around and pining after someone who will never see him that way. they both cut off communication at this point. they are their own people, and they're gonna live their lives the way they want to. iwa breaks up with his girlfriend because he realizes he was looking for someone to replace oikawa and wants his own life. oikawa goes to brazil and this is when he meets up with hinata (and brazil fling is CANON i will not accept any other answer). they're getting over each other and standing independently for the first time ever. and it hurts like a motherfucker, but it feels like the right thing to do.

pretending is oikawa seeing iwa for the first time in years at the olympics. he's seeing the ways iwa grew without him, and he's not going to sit there and mope about it anymore. he's tired of pretending that he and iwa didn't hurt each other in so many ways, tired of brushing off iwa's response to his confession (or lack thereof). iwa is looking at him in a way he's never seen him before, but oikawa is over it. he's done waiting around. oikawa is sticking with the argentinian team, barely sparing iwa a glance. he's not letting iwa hurt him anymore. he'll dance with who he wants, he'll flirt with who he wants, and if he catches a glimpse of hurt on iwa's face as oikawa chooses an athlete from a different country to take back to his room, that's on him. iwa had his chance and he gave it up years ago.

left behind jumps between iwa's and oikawa's perspective during the championships. iwa watching oikawa go about his own business and barely look at him. the first verse is all iwa, realizing that maybe he doesn't want to let go of oikawa, that even being strained friends was better than watching oikawa pretend he doesn't exist. oikawa is seeing iwa have this epiphany, catching oikawa's arm in a hallway and trying to talk to him again, but he's tired of iwa only wanting him at an arms length. it hurt too bad to watch iwa walk away from him, but seeing him again, he doesn't know if he's able to walk away in return. it's iwa's turn feeling what oikawa did back when iwa had a girlfriend, never even commenting on the confession. iwa's mom asks him how oikawa is doing, and he doesn't even know how to answer. they're both realizing they don't want to be left behind, but don't know how to approach their relationship with how deeply they've hurt each other over the past few years.

bloodline / difficult things is where their relationship comes to a head. they're both back in miyagi after the olympics, visiting home during the break. back in the park the confession took place in, remembering the events that took place here and how it irreparably changed their friendship. it's the place they realize they have the chance to put the ways they've hurt each other behind, to forge a relationship again from the ground up. to try again. but the feeling floats around all the same: can they do this? can they avoid the arguments and the radio silence? they've never really, truly talked about their relationship. they've been functioning on misunderstandings and unspoken agreements for years because they thought they didn't need to talk about it. in high school it always seemed they could read each other's minds, but now they meet as strangers. and maybe it's time to fix it. and for the first time in years, they sit on the swings where they met as kids, and they talk until the morning breaks.

if u somehow stuck it out for the full thing, thank u!! plz lmk what u think of it. yes, i am overly emotionally attached to both iwaoi and this album. byeeee

#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #oikawa toru #iwaizumi hajime #iwaoi #iwaoi headcanon #iwaizumi x oikawa #writing

[not-close-to-straight]

Ok so confession time, I haven't used tumblr in like 5 years and even then hardly at all. I couldn't figure out how to reply to the answer/comment you left for me after my last comment so I just figured I would start a new one 😄 I wanted to say I did notice that they got longer over time, but honestly I love that. I love long fics so I was excited to see how many longer ones you had as well.

On that note, I am just in awe here of your talent. You mentioned that in AP💙 you had done a lot of research, and I noticed that all of your other fics are so meticulously researched as well. All the little Easter eggs, like making certain numbers in the story match up with numbers from the actual Marvel Universe... I don't know how you do it! You have so many fics, literally all of them except the most recent ones are "complete" which is a huge thing. I don't think I've seen an author with half your stories where one of them wasn't abandoned or on hiatus. Like how do you get enough time in the day?!?!

Final thought here I swear lol, you have several pairings that I never ever would have guessed I would like, but your interpretation just made me love them. Biggest example I can think of is Logan/Clint from the MTW universe... like what?! I never in a million years would have thought I would like that pairing. Honestly when I saw it in the pairings for those stories I was a little skeptical, but dang I love them now.

Seriously I'm in awe, you deserve an award or something lol. Thank you again! 💙

Thank you! I honestly put so much work into the Easter Eggs and references in my fics. Like look up completely unneeded information about the actors or old school comic books or super obscure character information just to add a line or even a reference or like... an apartment number?? And I know 99/100 people just don't care about that but I LOVE it so I keep doing it lol

Unfinished fics BUG ME. I don't read alot of fic anymore since I'm always writing but the first time I read a fic and got super invested in it without realizing it was incomplete (didn't know how to use filters on AO3 yet!) and then realized it hadn't been updated since like 2014-- I mean I feel like my brain broke?? A little bit??

So I thought, "okay I am NEVER doing that." And of course OF COURSE I understand that there are a million and a half reasons why a story would be left incomplete and I definitely don't look sideways at or judge authors for that sort of thing because like, that's an insanely entitled attitude but I definitely make a point to always finish fics, even if that means slicing down the plot or eliminating scenes to be able to wrap it up sooner rather than later. Like, a story might take me a year but it WILL finish at some point!

And YES HOLLA for additional new pairings! I am definitely an equal opportunity shipper so while there's several pairings I just don't...get... there are several that I had never considered but sort of got talked into writing for and now I LOVE them. Best one that comes to mind is BuckyClint, I didn't even know I liked them together until I took a commission for them and now they are arguably one of my favorite pairings ever.

Cheers for the comment! Thanks for coming back around to tune into my writing!

[deathleadsarc]

@dxrk-storm sent a letter:    25, 26, 27

did you ever play a breakup?

🧍 if yall werent here for SOLNA aka with @creepiitus​ shenanigans, those two had the biggest breakup/heartbreaking realization that they were in love with each other and everything was blowing up it was wild. granted, they’ll slowly reach toward one another again, it’ll just take a very long time to win her trust back. 

did you ever play a hateship?

I did but it ended in Romance aka @hmrtia ! We started writing in, maybe, 2014/2016 before I went on a long hiatus. They were fierce enemies and really hated each other and then whoops he just kinda... fell in love with her haha so i guess it doesn’t count as a hateship? They’re just a slowburn enemies to lovers ship and I love them so much uwu

did you ever play a wedding?

oh man a LONG time ago i did!! I even had some pretty artwork commission to go along with it :> his name was Prince Enrique and he was with, you guessed it, Qissy ~ back before I revamped her character lol. the mun is no longer on tumblr but I still look back on it really fondly

#answered #three of my favs right here #i wonder what her relationship with enrique would have been like if the mun was still around but #it was very nice

[maisysplayhouse]

the poetry slam post

poetry slams were my entire life between 2014 and 2016. some of my old slam videos still make the rounds on tumblr. in december 2016, i choked mid-poem and ran out of a slam, not realizing i was running out of slam entirely. i never competed at a poetry slam ever again. this is why.

1. by design, the poetry slam is no place for radicals. spoken word is certainly a genre with radical roots. many people credit gil scott heron's "the revolution will not be televised" as an early iteration of what we know today as spoken word. it is a black art form with relationships to jazz and dub poetry. the poetry slam is a competition invented by a white construction worker from chicago as a sort of theatre sport. mark smith is so famously racist that during his feature performance at the 2017 college unions poetry slam invitational, hundreds of college poetry slammers staged mass walkout. he used his performance to complain about social justice warriors, political correctness, and the black lives matter movement. i would argue that mark's simplistic thinking and aversion to nuance is baked into architecture of the slam itself.

2. by design, the poetry is bad. the poetry slam purports to be "of the people". instead of being judged by ancient elites at a poetry institution, the slam is judged by random audience members. if you are a regular attendee of poetry slams, you will likely have gotten to know one or more competitors, making you biased and no longer eligible. as a result, people with the least relationship to the art form are trusted with determining the best of it. this intrinsically discourages experimental and brave work, and generally produces an environment of cliche and tired performance gimmicks (such as the "slam poet voice"). there were many instances of newcomers being racist and transphobic and this being reflected in their scores. newcomer judges are also not aware of cultural norms in the slam community, a big one being that the audience is encouraged to boo and heckle judges for perfectly reasonable scores (every time a judge raises a scorecard, the audience is expected to yell "higher!!!" unless the score is a perfect 10. it is of extreme advantage to go last in a poetry slam since the judges will be throwing out 10s like crazy to not get screamed at). do not forget that most poetry slams have a cash prize!

3. "use your cancer poem". the laziest tool of the slam poet is guilt. newcomer judges are very vulnerable to this. there was a phrase i used to hear when i started in slam: "use your cancer poem". as in, if your competitor has selected a poem about their sexual assault, the only way to beat their score is to use your poem about the time you had cancer. many poets complained about the "trauma talent show" element that pervaded poetry slams, and yet few if any slams found a way to avoid this effect.

4. this is exacerbated by the opportunism of coaches. in short, there was a problem with coaches. every slam thought their city was just weird. coaches built grant-funded careers as "youth workers" / "mental health relief" / "community leaders" by pressuring young people to exploit their most traumatic experiences for the whims of the attention economy. i watched slams where coaches instructed teens to start crying before they got onstage to increase their sympathy. i watched performances where teenagers collapsed or vomited or had to be carried offstage. there was an incredibly pervasive phenomenon of coaches writing poems for their mentees, fudging scores, and valuing competition over the care of sensitive storytelling. there was also an epidemic of grown coaches sexually harassing their teen mentees. i shudder when i see some of the men still active in the scene. i saw people i love change in ugly ways through the poetry slam.

in summation: i do owe a lot of my passion for poetry to the slam. there were times it also put me in my place, which was deserved and i am a better person for it. but a lot of the time it was ridiculous and harmful and i would caution a young person to take up almost any other hobby. in 2017 i had a nervous breakdown that stopped by whle lifeand when i went back to a poetry slam in 2018 with new eyes i was rocked to my core with disgust. if you really do believe in "justice", host an open mic!

#i wont get into what exactly my experience was with coaches but i can say i had some legendarily deranged men in charge of me LOL #poetry slam