#I want to unlearn the word productive

[steelthroat]

At sone point some years ago I started saying "I am going to be productive" ironically and I could have never imagined how much damage this made. I am still trying to repair this mess and to unlearn to say this.

Philosophers were right in a way. Semantics matters, even if it looks like it doesn't. A simple word is gonna change the chemistry of the wrinkly organ if one does not pay attention.

#steel rambles #I want to unlearn the word productive #I'm serious #and many other factory-related words and phrases I use to describe my life and the things i do #it's like self-deprecating humor #it starts out funny and you end up with impistor syndrome and the lowest self esteem in the world #i would know. #ffs why is creating good habits so hard conpared to falling into bad ones? #loke when I had to shift from self hating jokes to “lol I'm fucking awesome I have a god complex” jokes because simple self love didn’t work #not even a month to develop the worst habits possible #and fucking 6 years and counting to try and repair the damage caused by those bad habits #and I get it it takes time and shit but it's frustrating. #especially when in trying to unlearn destructive behaviors you develop other (smaller) problems and then you have to work on them too #annoying as fuck. #especially when it's all diy #le sigh amirite? #btw I'm having fun with my research on Marxism does it show?

[famewolf]

also been struggling again with allowing myself to rest ... had a lot of plans today that went awry. getting that Anxiety of not feeling like i accomplished much of anything on my days off despite that not being true

#[static] #i did quite a lot on my weekend! doc appointments medicine pick up i cleaned and cooked a whole cake and a pot pie #i played games with my husband! i wrote several thousand words for my campaigns #i think its cuz today all ive had a chance to do was take care of the poor bird i found in that bag and then nap during the hottest portion #of the day ... it was so hot and our a/c hasnt been accessed for the summer time yet #i really wanted to work on some maps / do some more writing for our 15th session on monday and since i havent been feeling up for it #im feeling like Anxious jfhd productivity is dumb and unlearning this mindset has taken me the better part of several years #and we are still in it babey ... at least i can tell when im acting like that

[thekats]

On the off-chance that this contains ableist undertones I just want to proclaim my love for Michael Sheen's ability to portray Aziraphale's confidence of a being who's been around humans for millennia and at the same time his young soul; excitable, curious.

(Oops more words)

We frequently think of Az as an old man, stuck in the 20th century, grandpa vibes.

But he is so young so much of the time too! There's a reason why autistics are often seen as childish and immature - because we tend not to adopt or else unlearn the repressive behaviours that mask the natural curiosity and excitability of humans. On the contrary, we have to embrace it or constantly toe the line to meltdowns, shutdowns and/or burnouts. Most adults have learned to shut that part down so they can be integrated into the capitalist machine, where individual interest and happiness come AFTER profitable productivity.

Aziraphale has a mature mind with experience, knowledge and logic only a fully developed brain could hold. He also has the openness, trust, interest and curiosity of someone who hasn't been forced to put themselves last.

I absolutely adore that.

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #aziraphale defense squad #today on 'do i want to be him or be with him?' #I've also lost track if this is about Michael or Az lol #as an autistic: this is how i aspire to grow old #as someone who wants to be an actor: michael sheen is just phenomenally skilled

[teenandbeyond]

So I saw your headcanons for Bakugou and Aizawa, what kind of boyfriend would Midoriya be?

Midoriya Imagine

What type of boyfriend he'd be

Want more from me? mAsterList

I was just thinking about this when considering him for a love interest for my OC, fortunately for you, this is still fresh on my mind lol

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

An awkward romantic.

By this, I mean he's awkward about his romanticness.

"W-we can share a crepe if you want?"

"Am I allowed to k-kiss you?"

Very shy, even after he's dating you.

Takes you on cute, simple dates. But plans like a pro. Like if the date doesn't work out, he has a plan B, C, D...J, K...

Though he'd be a bit better about shyness once he gets used to you.

Insecure about himself deserving you.

You'll have to assure him when you notice.

He can be kinda hard on himself, including with you. If he feels like he's not doing enough, he will feel suuuper bad.

You will be a priority, but not his first. He can be a neglectful boyfriend sometimes due to him putting hero work first...and sometimes that's all he thinks about.

But he's observant, so after a while, he'll notice.

And he quickly notices when your emotions shift.

He catches on to your ticks, habits, etc.

And writes them down in a special notebook just for you.

Pegs me as the type to track your period if you have one

Like, the day of he'll stop by with stuff and you're like, "Um...how?"

Or if you have hair, he'll have most hair items/products you might've forgotten or needed

Or if you forget to eat in the mornings, without needing to ask he'll hand you a breakfast muffin or something.

I see him being insecure about his scars until you kiss them all and tell him they're beautiful, leaving him flushed red.

Will shyly let you count his freckles if you like.

Once he's comfortable enough, will join in when you do weird stuff.

Whatever it is.

Seriously.

Will make you laugh more often than you'd expect.

Will motivate you to do more in life, but doesn't hold it against you if you don't make drastic changes.

If you have long hair, he will have the urge to braid it.

He gives hair-touching vibes. If you allow him to.

His love languages are definitely acts of service and words of affirmation.

Will happily do things for you.

And will always make sure he tells you how great you are, how much he loves you, etc.

There will be conflict sometimes.

He's reckless and will easily toss his life away for a stranger. You have to tell him he can't do that, he needs to care more about his life, and he has people who need him here, including you.

You think he has such low value for his life due to him being Quirkless and from bullying. So you'll have to help him unlearn this mindset.

If he feels like he needs to protect you, he will distance himself every time.

He's...incredibly protective. One of the rare instances Midoriya will lose control of his anger is when he's protecting those he cares for.

And you never tell him you find it attractive.

He doesn't really get jealous as much as insecure about how he treats you.

"Maybe they might treat [Name] better..."

Once you get past that phase, though, he's okay.

The type of boyfriend to cry because you're crying, even if he doesn't know why you are.

I actually don't see Midoriya as being extremely affectionate but will give it to you based on the level you want.

He melts from your praise.

And takes your opinion almost more seriously than All Might's...and that's saying a lot.

He's patient but un-patient. He can be patient for you, but it takes a lot of effort, he likes to know things, to cheer you up, to make you happy.

DENSE.

Like, he learns as he goes along...but he starts out very dense.

Definitely supportive of what you do, but if it's something he doesn't particularly agree with, he will still voice his opinion on the matter.

I see your relationship being quiet, the little moments matter more...but then other times, you're either chaotic or nerding out.

Midoriya will often nerd out about heroes, so expect that. Like, you could be walking by a hero on the street and his energy will go ⬆

Communication is a must if you want a relationship to work with him. He has a lot of bad habits and he won't know unless you tell him. That, and he needs to get better at communicating himself, he has a hard time with that.

Gamer.

I feel he's a gamer in his free time and gamers can have potty mouths.

So I feel like he'd try to not curse as much around you, but will still let things slip if he, say, bumps his foot against a table or something.

He'd love it if you can do each other's hobbies together, he'd feel closer to you.

#anime #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #deku midoriya #bnha midoriya #midoriya izuku #deku #deku x reader #mha imagines #mha #mha fluff #bnha fluff #mha deku #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya imagine #fluff

[buckyownsmylife]

friendzone - chapter 1

The one where director!reader is forced to work alongside her new work crush and the idiot who broke her heart

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

“C’mon, just give me a chance…” I was not having a good day, to say the least. Oh, no, not at all. Not a good year, perhaps - let’s go there, yes, why not? I deserved it, after all. This was all my own doing, and I never allowed myself a single second to forget it.

“Not gonna happen, Evans.” I might have closed the door a little harder than necessary if all of the gazes that fell on me upon entering the set were any indication. “I’m sorry, I know, I just- Where’s my coffee?”

I usually wasn’t this bitchy, but having to work with your ex-boyfriend - your cheating, lying ex-boyfriend - usually had this effect on a person, I imagined. Sending a grateful smile to the PA who had the guts to approach with a steaming cup of joe, I set out to put as much distance as possible between me and the man who was still following my every step.

Why did I ever think a slammed door would stop his pursuit, I would never know. Five months, hundreds of ignored calls and texts, and the guy didn’t quit it. Hell, he even managed to force his way into my dream project, just to force me to talk to him.

I was determined not to give up. He couldn’t be rewarded - not for what he did, not for what he was doing to me right now - but his ego stopped him from even seeing the error of his ways.

He just kept pushing, and as the director of the movie he was starring in, I couldn’t completely ignore him. As much as I wanted to.

“Is everything okay?” My body immediately relaxed at the sound of the (now) familiar English accent. “What’s going on?” It was clear that Henry wanted to outwardly ask me if Chris was bothering me, but he refrained from doing so. Like the gentleman he was - or, at the very least, someone able to think about the consequences of his actions before doing something he’d come to regret - he didn’t want to put me in a weird position, or even potentially complicate his work relationship with his co-star when he truly didn’t understand what was going on.

It’s not that I didn’t want to tell him. I did. But we’d only known each other for four weeks - the time since pre-production started, plus the week since we started filming. It didn’t matter how much we’d clicked in that time, he was still a relative stranger to me.

Even if I were to trust him… why would he even care about my past with another man? We weren’t yet friends, and nothing romantic was going on, despite all of the dirty dreams I’d been having since our eyes connected for the first time.

I knew I wasn’t the only one who suffered from his superpower. All of the people attracted to males - even some who swore they weren’t - had the same lustful haze in their eyes after spending seconds in his presence…

… and I’d been there before. The woman standing on the sidelines while their lover enraptured the world. Never again, I’d sworn. Never again, I still reminded myself under my breath every time Chris popped into my brain, life or heart. and yet, there I was: five whole minutes into staring into clear blue eyes and no words left to say like I’d unlearned the entire English alphabet simply because Henry Cavill decided to rest his gaze upon me.

Men really did make women go dumb sometimes.

“Nothing that involves you,” Chris spoke from behind me, two hands coming up to seize my waist and pull me against his chest. “You don’t have any reason to be concerned, I can assure you.”

… or insane.

“Get your hands off of me.” I don’t think I’d ever used this tone on Chris before, so his instinctive reaction to let his hands drop to the side of his body could probably be explained by that. But the truth? I didn’t even know I was able to make such a guttural voice until his actions led me to see the world in shades of red, in a way much similar to the one I used to stare at while we were in love, and yet so drastically different it confused and terrified me.

“Do you even have a scene to film today, Chris?” I asked, deciding to completely ignore Henry while I still had to deal with the manchild that was my ex-boyfriend. It took him a while to answer, but after some hesitation, he nodded.

“Yeah, it’s the-”

“No, you don’t.” I knew I was being silly, but fuck. This was my movie set, and he couldn’t just keep doing this - interrupting my work schedule, my dream job because of a romantic past he screwed up.

“Go back to the hotel. I’ll film Henry's solo scenes today.” His nostrils flared, his temper once again getting the best of him, but when he opened his mouth to argue… “Go.”

I was tired of letting him take the reins of my life.

#friendzone #henry cavill angst #chris evans angst #henry cavill #chris evans #angst #henry cavill rpf #rpf #chris evans rpf #henry cavill fic #chris evans fic #henry cavill x reader #chris evans x reader #henry cavill reader #chris evans reader

[humdrummoloch]

Hello! Can I ask about character arcs? And maybe some promps please

Hello!

I'm not super good at this but I'll give it a go. Sorry if these thoughts are a little scattered.

A character arc is (usually) a character unlearning a maladaptive approach and learning one that serves them better. That's the purpose of the world to the main character who is in it, to challenge their old ways and facilitate that change. Typically that's the plot, regardless of genre or setting (sequels often explore characters further developing in a changed world). It's considered by some storytellers to be the #1 method to creating a compelling story... but not by everyone, it must be said. Not every story is character-driven, and not every plot reacts to its characters or vice versa. I mean, not every story even involves change. Still, I think the concept of the arc is useful regardless of whether the characters are the core of your story.

An arc is about change. A misanthrope learns to care for the people around him. A closed-off hermit learns to open up. An ageing hero learns to step out of the spotlight and shift to a mentor role. The world pushes them to change their old outlook/behaviour and they push back to find that solution, creating the different elements of the plot itself. The end product of these arcs is usually a character who is better equipped and more fulfilled, but sometimes an arc can lead to their doom.

Change is not necessarily a moral improvement or even a practical one -- characters can become 'worse' in a compelling way when their arc is understandable but saddening. Also any topic of arc can go in any direction due to the nature of maladaptive extremes. Two characters often meet in a healthy middle, which is a good use of a side character.

There's flat arcs too, or boomerang arcs as I like to call them, where a person comes close to the precipice of change and (for better or worse) backs away. Often done to great effect with multidimensional villains who help reinforce/reflect the character's arc. This can also be done when a hero resists allowing the world to turn them evil.

Entire seasons can be dedicated to a different arc in the main character's development as they change and learn how to face each new challenge.

You also might notice that lots of TV shows (especially episodic formats) have a mini character arc as the central plot of many episodes. Lots of children's media and sitcoms are this way and once you see it you never unsee it.

In my opinion, if you want to know how to create a character or a plot, then arcs are a very significant component. Understanding how to put a character through a meaningful arc can be the difference between "interesting premise" and "good story." The most beloved characters often have the greatest arcs, but make no mistake, the greatest arcs are often the simplest.

All that said, "character arc" is a made-up term; it is quite literally what you make of it, so don't take my word as law -- remember, once you understand them, all laws of writing can be broken!

Whew, I think that's everything I know about arcs, condensed.

Some prompts for arcs:

A hero in a healed world learns to finally put down their sword

A cynical town doctor learns it takes more than medicine to help people thrive

A heartbroken musician learns to grow from their mistakes instead of mythologising their broken relationships

A chronic case of 'I can fix them' learns to stand up for themselves

A lonely CEO learns what is more important than success

A conman learns earning trust is better than earning money

A revenge-driven character learns the cycle of violence can never bring happiness

Sometimes you don't know a character until you know their arc. Once you have a good arc nailed down, the rest of your story can slot into place like magic.

- HumdrumMoloch

#creative writing #writing prompts #advice #character arcs #plotting

[rosekisspeach]

TAROT READING//Jjong's view on mingkey relationship

Date: 23/Jan/2024 Marker: Jjong's songs Deck of Cards: The Wandering Spirit (spirit, empathy, comfort, consolation)

Notes Upfront:

I don't ask my cards questions that I already have answers;

I don't prey on information I should not know;

I respect their personal lives and;

This is for FUN ONLY.

✦ I want to share with you these little "reading-come-true" moments: Bummie mentioned his grandma on hyeri's talk show, how much he misses her, and described his biggest fear is having no one to love. However I also said that he is facing "setbacks!!" in work, I think you know what I am referring to and I will talk about it more later ✦

In this special reading, please be open-minded about spirits, after-lives, and other non-traditional concepts!!

The deck I am using to chat with Jjong is The Wandering Spirit Tarot. Since I started talking to him, all the cards I got from him are REVERSED (in total of 20 cards!!), but when I ask about other members -> jjong, the cards are normal presenting both upright and reversed. That said, I take reversed cards from jjong only as a proof of connection, and interpreting them the same as the upright meaning.

Time to dance

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Base Card: 10 of Cups & Consulation Bummie: 4 of Coins; Suggestion: Ace of Swords Ming: Hierophant; Suggestion: 3 of Swords Mingkey Relationship: Knight of Swords; Suggestion: Death Mingkey Work: The Hanged Man; Suggestion: Justice

To my surprise, Jjong finds the overall dynamic between ming and bummie healthy and even to some extend, fulfilling. I assumed he'd be more censorious, hehe, but he is in peace and happy about the bond mingkey has built these years. "They got better with each other", is what he is trying to say, and especially at communicating their emotions (10 of Cups) that they can hold and pull each other up when sorrow consumes their tender hearts. It is very beautiful, and I told Laura (twi) that Jjong knew he left a legacy for everyone in this world: the lesson of care, love, empathy. Minho and kibum learnt to round their edges so they can have long conversations in supportive tone to console. Jjong is always watching over them. Even sometimes bummie does not want to approach him, as he complains. Because it is more often bummie comforting ming in warm hugs and soothing words, instead of allowing himself to accept the love from other people.

What Jjong wants to say to Bummie:

"Decide wisely. Take sometime to think through what is more important in your life...because it is not the materials. You know that. It is tough times, and to unlearn a habit that roots in your hard-working moral is not easy. I am always here to help. You should talk to me instead of repressing it to yourself..I am proud of you. And it is also okay to cry, my love."

Besides Jjong's words, I also want to add that bummie should be careful with his physical health: chest pain, joint pain, and headaches caused by insomnia. One of the problems come out of his over-working is insufficient rests. And despite the vitamins and health products bummie is having, he has eating problems (esp Keyland is happening soon and he always limits his appetite before events like such). Grab a good dinner and let out the exhaustion throughout tears after Keyland seem a good option to relax. Both jjong and I believe bummie is able to take good care of himself, but we want him to feel supported all the time. Looking at the ace of swords, I do see that bummie needs to be resilient in balancing his work and personal life. Trying new things while patiently reflecting will be good for him.

And do not blame yourself when mistakes are made, bummie. We cannot be omniscient, nor do we have the power to control everything. Staying silent must feel like suffocating. Embrace them. Embrace and grow.

What Jjong wants to tell Ming:

"Minho ah...listen to heart, but also listen to your brain. I know you find yourself lost in the middle of the sea, and you desperately hold on to stability. We are all on the path of life, what a huge waste if we reach the destination too early? And don't you quibble that you are not addicted to the pain of grieving me. Trust your decision."

!! I am going to share my honest thoughts here, because the same theme appears and appears when I read about ming. The painful memories are thorns that wrapped around ming's ankles, but it isn't because he can not break free, it is because Minho does not want to break free. At this point, there is no good of indulging the pain. The three of swords is commonly showed in the pattern of three swords stabbing into a red heart in Rider system, while it manifests heartbreaking sadness, it also stresses a harmony that comes out the experience. Ming probably does not realize that he builds his stability upon the loss of jjong, and despite how comfortable it must feel to connect with loved ones throughout the shared pain, he needs learn to be at the present (++why bummie wants ming to see him as himself not as a grieving co-dependency partner). I always find it mind-assuring that ming is close with many elder figures, hyungs such as Changmin, because he does indeed need mentors to guide and support him in finding the keys to re-open his heart. Also, I think ming should try/is trying meditation, which is good because he spends so much energy bodily, it must feels unbalanced if the brain is not up to same level use.

Minkey Relationship + Work

let's listen to sweet misery while reading, hehe, I think jjong will also enjoy the song.

나를 이끌어 네게로 Baby please never let go I'm in sweet misery

Okay, in a sum that from Jjong's perspective he does encourage mingkey to try new dynamic so to ease any tension that still remains between them. As I said earlier, I expected jjong to be a little more critical, and here we are, the hyung is expecting MORE. He does have something to say about the status quo bummie is keeping, because he knows that hurts ming (looking the gestures between the girl and the skeleton in knights of swords) and ming is just being polite not showing how hurt he is. Do notice that sometimes ming jokes about bummie being the meanest person in the world, and he tries to retort helplessly in venerable tone.

Be gentle with ming, bummie. You gotta know that Minho sometimes feel small in front of you, even with that 5.9 and bodybuilding champion figure. Gives him a chance to make decisions in your relationship so you can let out the breathe you have been holding. Give him some trust. And be proactive with bummie, ming. Bummie needs space, respect, and most importantly, trust. Making bummie to understand how much you trust his decision, and how much he could trust you. I mean...you overcome so many difficulties, try apply this mindset when you are with bummie more because a little part of bummie just waits for you to take the lead. Take his hands and walk out of the sweet misery.

If we compare the patterns between now (base card: ten of cups) and what jjong expects (the death card). We can see that the girl who is hugging the skeleton is now hugged by the skeleton. It indeed shows that why jjong wants they to break the status quo because ming is then able to better show his support, that their dynamic changes and "bummie retrieving from support" would switch to them "mutual supporting". It is better because they do not need to knee, as to compromise in bonding, but finding the right angle to cuddle comfortably.

As forJjong's suggestion about mingkey's works...before I delve into the reading, both Laura and I pulled out the hanged man card (mine before the M@donald promotion and hers afterwards) . I am deeply concern about bummie. I understand the situation must have brought frustration and anger to many, and I hope to comfort you in peaceful words. As I typed here the textbook reading of the hanged man here:

"Face the current situation with calm and serenity. Acknowledge reality is not what was expected and quietly reflect, Doing this brings a calm mind, the removal of anxiety and fear, and clear grasping of the situation. "

I hope to comfort you a little, despite it is so hard to sleep in knowing the pain, loss, and evilness. I guess it is what jjong will also suggest. Be compassionated, empathize, and always search for love.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

Both mingkey needs to balanced out their personal and working lives, especially in making correct decisions regarding what type of jobs they should be working on. Ming in praticular, has to be careful with jobs that 1) forbids him from seeing and expressing who he really is, 2) holds back him from exploring his potentials, and 3) physically too dangerous or challenging. In bummie's case, jjong has said enough about deciding between materials and spiritual, taking more rests and reflection are also important. However, I have to stress again that over-working also blinds bummie from deep connection, and the possibility to better bond with ming. I truly hope they will have some conversations after Keyland that ming can support bummie since jinki is resting and bummie cannot ask taem, a dongsaeng, to tell him everything is going to be ok.

and I miss you so much, it is so nice to chat, jjong.

-over-

find me on twitter @rosekisspeach

#shinee #kpop tarot #tarot #tarot reading #key kibum #choi minho #shinee kibum #minho #kim kibum #mingkey #minkey #jjong #kim jonghyun

[confused-n-queer]

So a video about Beastars gave me feelings

I just came back to this video about a year after having first watched it simply because it was in my recommended feed and I needed something to listen to and well I have left with a new litmus test for my internal growth. I feel how much my connection to the story being woven my both the creator of the video and the author of Beastars has changed in only one year. I have struggled a lot with my own sexuality gender and overall sense of self throughout my life and am only now feeling the chapter on my adolescence come to a close. When I first saw this video and read the manga I identified very strongly with Haru. Her perceived weakness as a rabbit mirrored my own having grown up as a short,unusually skinny girl with undressed health issues. I was often mad and unable to express it since my anger was seen as cute, nonthreatening, and pathetic. Any attempts at my beliefs or anger being taken seriously and being seen as an equal to my peers was met with jokes and threats. Haru's tough abrasive nature towards people she perceives as a potential threat is a defense mechanism I shared with her. I like many girls has been subjected to both what I would call aggressive sexualization, sexulization through direct comments about our clothing, bodies and behaviors as well as leering, cat-calling and all the other various degrees of sexual assault I don't wish to discuss and what I would call passive sexuialization which is the everyday messaging we received from family peers and media, aka everything from your mom telling you to put on a shirt and cover up long before you had breasts to the comments made by aunts about how "slutty" a girl walking down the street looked. My response to this was repressing my desires burring my longing to be a confident sexual being. To bury my desire to wear the short shorts and skirts and bra-less styles of the early 00's I saw modeled on my dolls and a few older girls. I wanted to be like Haru, or at least posses the sexual freedom and confidence people believe she has. Instead I felt I had to hide my burgeoning sexuality behind a screen. Instead of healthy experimentation with my peers I was introduced to sex through men far older than me online because I knew romance,dating and sex was "wrong" and "not something a girl my age thought about". So I hid full of shame so strong it nearly led me to end my own life. The craziest part, I wasn't raised in an exceptionally conservative home. My family was pretty normal, hell I was given books about puberty and was told, once, after years of pestering (something I never did as I was, in retrospect and due to trauma, a disturbingly obedient child something I'll touch on later) what sex was and was sort of permitted to learn about sex from a scientific perspective. It wasn't until my freshman year of collage that I began to unlearn all of my shame and allow myself to be and accept myself as a sexual being, you know the thing I should've been allowed to do and that most people do while going through puberty. I joined a production of RHPS and drove over an hour to the main campus and back every week to rehearse for a show where being sexual was a given, and where the words that had been embedded into my chest were shouted without malice. It was a place where "slut" and "queer" weren't dirty they just were. I had my first kiss a few months before my 19th birthday with a girl who was so kind to me and who treated me with such sincere affection and respect that I as I write this am left sobbing thinking of all she did for me. I wish I could reach out to thank her without it being weird or potentially harmful since we haven't talked since the pandemic forced a weird mutual ghosting breakup a few months into our relationship and I don't know her current situation.

I was also always "playing nurse" (of both the standard and psych-ward variety) for friends,family and strangers due to trauma and my ability to do so like Haru but in the words of John Mulany "We don't have time to unpack all of that." so I'll leave it at that.

This time around I related to Legoshi so much it hurt. My struggles in the past year or so have been much more focused on my liberation as an adult, to be myself, to learn who I am, to move freely and to demand respect for myself and others. Which of course means the issues around my gender and sexuality (but mainly my gender) came back with a vengeance so the queerness of Legoshi et all hit very hard. The past year has been an odd meeting of my old self destructive habits meeting new healthier ones.

On the bad side I had al breakdown, multiple depressive episodes, stressed myself to the point of worsening a tic disorder i didn't know i had, neglected my health, fed into my eating disorders as well as my internalized ableism, homophobia and transphobia.

On the good side I attended concerts alone and with friends, decorated my room for the first time, bought sex toys, went on dates, dressed how I wanted to, dyed and shaved my hair without asking for permission (which was extra important since my hair was the one feature I was never allowed to mess with), and worked hard to fight my body issues and eating disorders which I'm happy to say as of right now I looked into the mirror for the first time in 10 years and liked my reflection despite my body dysmorphia. All things my therapist had to give me permission to do because, like Legoshi and all the other canines in the series I was made, through my natural disposition and a dash of abuse, to be obedient to my own detriment. I'm not joking when I say the whole " a canine told to wait will wait until it dies" section is accompanying me to therapy this week and is joining my "therapeutic media metaphors I use to describe my traumas,feelings and behaviors to other people" folder.

So...yeah...people change and this video was and will probably remain a very important part of my life.

Edit: Adding onto this but also like coming back to this video as someone who's currently educating themselves on queerness after years of feeling like "ah yes I understand myself and my own sexuality and gender. This is fascinating anyways. Perhaps I'll read this manga as a cathartic work to analyze but not really dig into because I don't need to do that right now/that's not the purpose it serves right now. It serves the purpose of allowing myself to confront other stuff and like a thing despite it's stigma as weird furry shit because people can't understand the merits of using non human characters to explore human topis including sex without getting all weird"

#beastars #beastars legoshi #beastars haru #tw internalized homophobia #tw internalized ableism #tw internalized transphobia #tw body image #tw ed #tw ed descussion #tw body dysmorphia #tw body dysphoria #Youtube #therapy

[superhumanfoods]

if i have to keep saying it every single day until it gets through to people, i will:

people need hobbies. you, specifically, need to have hobbies. socially, emotionally, and psychologically, you need to do things just because you want to.

(CW: some discussion of the psychology behind disordered eating.)

when people talk about extreme burnout, when people talk about mid-life crises, the mistake they make is in assuming those are different things.

when a 20 or 30-something entrepreneur or influencer starts experiencing the productivity paralysis associated with burnout, that is not different from when a 50 or 60-something mid-level manager at a tech company starts experiencing the anxiety and restlessness associated with a mid-life crisis. the symptoms might look different, but when you peer deeper into the underlying issue that's causing them, the psychological distress these people are experiencing becomes indistinguishable.

it's a form of starvation.

"there is nothing in my life for me."

your job is not for you. your profit is not for you. your hustle is not for you.

these things are for your financial security, your sense of status in your community, your feelings of achievement and self-worth. and that's fine. those are all good and necessary things.

but they're not for you, because you are not the work you do or the money you make or the people who admire you.

you are the quiet, strange, harmless little urges that strike you in those moments when you are left alone with yourself.

you are the you who once alphabetized your friend's DVD collection, completely unprompted. you are the you who once spent three hours on a single level of tony hawk's pro-skater trying to see how badly you could bug out the map. you are the you who doodled in the margins of your high school notebooks even though you never thought of yourself as a particularly good artist.

you're not a machine. you're a weird little animal called a human being, and sometimes, you will need to do silly little things that other people might not understand.

preventing yourself from doing so is a form of self-harm.

a person who has begun to recognize that their life is completely absent of pointlessly joyous things becomes an animal that has realized it is caged without understanding what the cage is.

they feel restless and listless and like something terribly important is missing or needs to be done, and they usually can't explain why, because getting to that point requires you to go all in on the idea that uselessness is the same as worthlessness.

that there is no space in your life for pointless things. that everything needs to have some form of value in how it serves your goals.

treating things that way turns every hobby into a hustle, even if money never changes hands.

you start treating everything like a job.

and that can ruin you. it can make you incapable of understanding how to engage with the things you enjoy just to enjoy them.

everything starts getting weighed on this internal scale of functional use and valued accordingly, and that leaves very little room for things that bring you joy and nothing else.

it's an incredibly hard mindset to unlearn, and i have some suspicions that the damage it does to your mind might not be completely reversible.

i used to struggle with disordered eating.

there are elements to the grind culture mindset that are frighteningly familiar to me. the attitude towards self-deprivation is the same. it's exactly the same. it's like a self-deprivation mad libs: swap a couple words out and you can't tell what it started out as, because it could be either.

and i think that's because when you deprive yourself of things that you have decided are not strictly necessary, it can make you feel powerful. accomplished.

and yes, it can be hard. it can be punishing. but that specifically is what gives the illusion of having achieved some sort of control.

there's this thought of it being your body, your life, and now you are one step closer to shaping it into your version of perfection.

but that's never going to happen. there isn't an end point. there won't come a day when you are satisfied with what you've achieved.

because it and you are not becoming anything.

all you're doing is starving yourself.

and if you do it long enough, there's a chance you're going to spend the rest of your life relearning how to chew. a very real chance that you will never be normal again. that you will never truly be free again.

that those thoughts may slowly diminish, may fade into the background, but will never truly leave you. that they'll catch you off guard, even years later, in moments where you truly believed you were done getting better.

sure, you can technically live on the bare minimum. but what's the fucking point? what does it achieve, in the end?

what does it get you that's worth what it cost you?

fuck grind culture.

the hobby is mandatory.

i don't care if it's crochet or cooking or pointillism or pressing flowers. i don't care if you're laying out every pencil you own in order of length in a line on the floor or creating an elaborate rube goldberg machine with household items.

take up scrapbooking. play trashy dating sims. write trashy romance novels and jumpscare your family with them when you die.

write fanfiction. make a blog dedicated to roleplaying as a bog witch.

i don't care.

i don't care what you're doing. all that matters is that you're doing it because it seems like it would be fun or satisfying to do, and that's it.

you need hobbies. it doesn't matter what they look like.

but you need hobbies.

#CW disordered eating #disordered eating mention #grind culture #the goblincore people have it right #collect rocks #scream at the moon #for the love of god just let yourself enjoy things

[rollercoasterwords]

As a fic writer, how do you stay positive and not stress yourself out with constantly comparing?

I've been really struggling with that. I start spiraling when a certain chapter doesn't get as many comments as usual, comparing my hit counts and kudo counts to other fics, and it's really not healthy but I'm struggling with knowing how to stop, how to just be happy and proud of the response I've gotten. Any thoughts or suggestions would be much appreciated.

honestly? i know this might seem counterintuitive but my best advice in that situation is probably to stop posting for a while

like. for me the thing that helped most/still helps most when i find myself falling into the trap of comparison was taking a step back and reevaluating why i wanted to write and what i got out of writing in the first place. like, for me, the core reason i write is for the joy of creating something, and getting to share it with others is all just a bonus. but i haven't always felt that way, and it definitely took a lot of reflection and having to unlearn a lot of social messaging to get there.

i think we are all very much blasted with the message that the most important metric for how worthy art is = how big the audience looking at it is. and i think, because of the way capitalism conditions us to interact w art, it's really really easy to feel like your art is only meaningful if people are seeing it and telling you it's good. like, the focus turns to outside affirmation rather than an interior sense of worth.

but the act of creating art has merit in and of itself. art is worth something because the act of creation is beautiful and joyful, regardless of who sees or doesn't see the final product.

writing fanfiction has helped me find the joy in writing again by removing it from the sort of profit economy that conditions me to think art is only worth something if it can be sold. before i got into writing fic, i felt this sense that creative writing wasn't worth anything unless it was something that i could one day publish which really just stifled me, and it wasn't til i went "fuck it i'm just gonna write something for the fun of it with no plans to ever try and get other people to read it" that i started to really enjoy writing again. and i think that's why i tend to be really wary of anything that starts to treat fic like books or pull fanfic back into this pseudo-profit economy where worth is measured by online popularity/tiktok virality--bc for me, fanfiction is an escape from that sort of mentality.

now, i try to be really vigilant about when i'm starting to fall back into the habit of feeling like my writing is more or less valuable based on whether it gets more or less hits/kudos/comments etc. i think this winter i finally reached a point where writing fic was starting to feel too much like a job w the pressure i was putting on myself to write a certain amount of words or meet certain deadlines, so now i've just been writing without posting anything for like 2ish months and i've found it really helpful! it's good to remember that writing is fun and rewarding even if nobody is seeing it in the moment and there's not that constant feedback loop of affirmation.

and if getting that outside affirmation is a driving factor in why you're writing, and it's draining because it's driving you to constantly compare, then i think it's worth taking a step back and evaluating why you want to write and whether it's like....emotionally sustainable. there's nothing wrong with wanting affirmation and wanting people to see your work, but at least for me anytime i've prioritized outside affirmation it's weakened my own interior sense of worth and made me much more likely to burn out or abandon writing projects. it's difficult bc like i said we are all very much conditioned to prioritize outside affirmation when it comes to art, but for me reframing the way i think about what makes art worth creating in the first place has literally made my writing experience a million times better. so, the most concrete advice i have for giving yourself space to do that is just--stop posting for a bit. stop seeking an audience in any way shape or form. give yourself some time to write by yourself and for yourself, to figure out what about writing brings you joy when there is no outside affirmation and make that the centerpoint of your creative endeavors.

i think there might also be a skin on ao3 that hides kudos and hits and comment numbers, so it might be a good idea to look into that if you're really struggling to stop comparing! also, i highly recommend cj the x's video essays the kronk effect and 7 deadly art sins, as well as jamie berrout's essays against publishing if ur looking to challenge/reframe/expand/adjust the way you think about art + literature :•)

#sorry this got so long lol #but i do have many thoughts on the subject!! #i think this tendency to compare so heavily is very tied to like. an Internalized Artistic Profit Economy #or a meritocracy i suppose #where someone has to tell u ur art is good to make it worthwhile and fulfilling #but to me that isn't sustainable! bc there won't always be someone around to tell u ur art is Good #and also if u need that validation to feel like it has worth. then one person will never be enough #it's easy to become dependent on a constant feedback loop of affirmation #but if u start with a strong base of self-worth in ur art then u don't NEED that feedback loop yknow? #anyway #ranting and raving #ask

[theprincientist]

What is Skincare? Everything You Need To Know About What Practices Make Your Skin Healthier.

Let's continue the talk about skincare.

You can read my first post about what is skin. It educates about the science behind the skin and explains why you should not ignore the facts and move directly into creating skincare routines and blindly following advice on the internet.

Know Your Skin Before Getting a Skincare Routine - What Is Skin?

Today's post explains to you what is skincare and what practices make your skin healthy. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞? - Read the full post on my blog - https://www.theprincientist.com/what-is-skincare/

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞?

Skincare is the care and keeping of the largest organ in your body — your skin! The etymological definition – Skin + Care stands for “caring for your skin”.

The word skincare is everywhere. Influencers, celebrities and pharmaceutical companies are selling and advertising face creams or offering magical solutions and DIYs to look younger and flawless daily.

With all this heavy marketing skincare sure sounds like it’s just some type of cosmetic product. And not a cheap one either! But that’s not all there is to it.

Skincare means you care for your skin, but with what objective?

Most research and marketing focus on the unwelcome esthetic aspects of ageing and uneven skin, but skin deterioration is more than a merely cosmetic problem. It is a health problem.

Skincare involves more than cosmetics and includes a variety of practices that support skin integrity, enhance its appearance and relieve skin conditions.

(I explain in detail in my post. Read here - https://www.theprincientist.com/what-is-skincare/ )

Although more popular now, skincare practices are nothing new, existing since Ancient Egypt. Currently, skincare doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t want it to be. Simply follow the three basic steps of a skin-care routine recommended by dermatologists: Cleansing, Moisturizing, and Protection.

(I explain in detail in my post. Read here - https://www.theprincientist.com/what-is-skincare/ )

Your mentality about skincare must shift focus from esthetic concerns to how the loss of structure and function affects the quality of life and make you unhealthy.

The best skin is healthy skin. Don’t blindly chase smooth skin that can damage your health. Unlearn that!

Empower yourself. Know exactly what you are putting in your face and avoid dangerous practices that are sold as miracle cures. Research is the first step toward having more conscient/responsible skincare practices.

I advise you to read the full post on my blog NOW and learn more about what skincare really means and make better decisions about your skincare practices,

+ You can get access to 3 other posts that will help you start an effective skincare routine today.

- Read here: https://www.theprincientist.com/what-is-skincare/

#dark skin women #skincaretips #skincareproducts #skincare #skincareroutine #melanin #luxury black women #black women #black beauty #black fashion #black hair #luxury vacation #skincare advice #african beauty #fashion #black girls working #theprincientistfashiontips

[jewishvitya]

Online culture is big on gleefully calling out people's mistakes. As loudly and publicly as possible, possibly with some jokes at their expense. And public conversations have a lot of value, but I wish we'd consider more when it's appropriate and when it isn't.

We say that it's about accountability, but that's not how you hold someone accountable, that's how you bully them. And bullying is traumatizing. The tactics you use to talk about a celebrity with PR and no online presence isn't the same tactic you should use for a peer you have direct access to. Direct access means they're close enough to harm.

I know I fall into that behavior too, this isn't me trying to go "ugh look at how the rest of you are acting." It's more that I want to share a cultural thing.

So what does accountability look like between peers?

There are two social rules in Judaism that I really appreciate.

The first is that you don't embarrass or shame someone. It's described as comparable to spilling blood. When someone does something wrong, you're meant to talk to them about it privately, in a way that minimizes embarrassment and makes your message easier to receive. We're instructed to convey criticism in a way that will be heard, out of a desire to help a person correct their path, not a self righteous glee to look down on someone and tell them their flaws. If your goal isn't helping the person improve, don't say anything.

The second is the whole system of Lashon Ha'ra. Here is a really good Twitter thread on the topic. In short, Lashon Ha'ra means "evil tongue." It's where you say bad things about someone, and they're true, but you don't say them for a good reason. You just want them circulating.

When is it not Lashon Ha'ra? When you're trying to help someone. When your words have a productive, beneficial point. Like when you warn someone of a danger. "This person is dangerous" is not Lashon Ha'ra.

Another example I've experienced is when I was in school. I sat in class next to a girl who didn't have the best social skills.

A few of my classmates sat with me and said, "You sit next to her, you know her best. Have you noticed anything odd? Any struggle with socializing? Can you communicate to her that these behaviors of hers can be hurtful? How can we help her?"

It was a community effort to create an environment that supports unlearning bad behaviors. I was a tool to a productive conversation. Only one person, in private, to avoid embarrassment. And a whole social group that keeps the space for her. And it worked.

This was done by HIGHSCHOOLERS. It was 10th grade. We were 16 years old, no adult guidance. We weren't perfect about avoiding Lashon Ha'ra, but we tried, and this is the environment it created.

And what if you need to vent something frustrating? What if that talk isn't productive, and it's about someone? That's a healthy thing to do. It promotes bonding, helps you process bad experiences, and communicates which behaviors are unacceptable to you. In that case, according to the halachot of Lashon Ha'ra, we don't name them and we don't give hints. We make sure the person hearing the story isn't going to recognize who it is and tell an anonymized story.

Keeping someone safe, helping someone be better, it's about being a community. See, Judaism is community-oriented. By focusing on helping people improve and giving them the space to do better, we prioritize growth. The desire to humiliate someone for their mistakes is punitive, and I don't believe in punishment.

And there are exceptions. These are the religious rules I was taught, and I don't think I'd follow them to the letter even if they were on my mind as much as I want them to be. But I feel like it has real value, especially online - where everything is public, and nothing ever really disappears.

It's one thing I wish I took with me when I left religion.

#riki babbles

[foxymoxynoona]

Amended Short: Halloween Night, Zombie Parents Edition

Um... I thought I had a drabble request for Amended Jungkook and the baby but I don't see one in my inbox... but I was inspired to write this Halloween night after I took my kids trick or treating so here ya go!

Story: after Amended Characters: Jungkook, Isabella, new baby Words: 5635 CW: references to childbirth, birth complications/sick baby, lots of detail about breastfeeding and nipple pain (not in a sexy way LOL)

The house was stunningly quiet. The silence was loud, the lack of activity so obvious and unusual it hummed in Jungkook’s ears. After almost two weeks of nonstop, it was disorienting, that sudden stillness. He stood in the middle of the house for several minutes and felt like his skin was vibrating.

Ah, right, probably the lack of sleep. Because despite having a full house and family nearby and all the help they could hope for, Jungkook had in fact never been so fucking exhausted in his entire life. 

And all because of a baby! Just one small tiny little innocent baby had dropped into their life like a fucking grenade going off! The baby grunted and the whole house flew into a flurry figuring out what he needed. Jungkook had expected Isabella to be the calm, sage, wise one and in some ways she was –she called out the steps of elimination to figure out what the issue was: diaper, food, sleep, wanting to be held, wanting to be not held. But the more steps it took to figure out, the more flustered she’d get, cuing Jungkook to swoop in and take over. Even if he felt stupid and clumsy and like he didn’t know what he was doing despite helping with nieces and nephews every chance he got. 

The first few times he had hesitated to help and Isabella had snapped. It had hurt his feelings, both for her to notice his hesitation and to be upset by it. They’d had a fight about it. Twice. That wasn’t a great memory. But after a nap, Jungkook felt satisfied by their joint realization that this was new, and hard, but also not new in some ways that had to be unlearned. Isabella wasn’t on her own this time but she wasn’t sure what it meant to have someone with her in this. Jungkook was here and wanted to be here but didn’t know what it meant to be the father, not the uncle. Ezra and Lily were here too, and old enough to not fall to pieces when Isabella couldn’t drop everything for them like before, as she tried to recover from childbirth and the new demands. The nursing struggles had really taken it out of her, it had been painful to watch, difficult to talk about without sending her into tears, and Jungkook knew he had been in over his head, unsure how to support her at a time when the answer seemed so obvious.

Finally, after two weeks of excruciating pain for Isabella, and lactation teas and cookies that made her vomit, and an agitated, hungry baby from her low milk production, and a too-slow regaining of dropped birthweight that had Isabella trying to nurse and pump around the clock, which kept her from getting any rest or even really getting to enjoy the baby… It had only been two weeks but it felt like months. Two weeks still felt too long to Jungkook but now they were in agreement. They were trying this: The baby would be a formula baby, assuming Isabella didn’t go back on her decision tomorrow. She’d agreed as of six hours ago, after crying all morning about it, despite every reassurance Eomma, Soona, Gina, and Mikayla had lobbed at her. 

She might go back on it. Jungkook hoped she wouldn’t. All his own research had shown not only how fine babies were who grew up on formula, but also the benefits to Dad being able to share the burden of feedings and get that bonding time with baby, the benefits of Mom getting to sleep without having to wake to nurse every two hours, the benefits of a family that could rest and spend time together and enjoy their happy, well-feed, growing baby without the pressure of trying to breastfeed when it just wasn’t working.

For all those reasons and more, Jungkook was relieved at her agreement, even if his heart broke that this aspect of their new baby wasn’t going like she wanted. Neither had the birth, but that was a story for another day. He just wanted everything to be perfect for her. Especially since he worried he’d pushed her into this. He’d wanted another baby but she was the one bearing the brunt of that right now. He wanted to take as much of that off her as possible, and that guilt and worry that he was failing sat high on his shoulders when things were stressful and–

But for now, for this very minute, there was a peaceful pause. The sun was going down, the neighborhood lights flickering to life alongside the festive decorations. Lily was already out trick or treating with Soona’s family, after which she’d sleep there. Ezra would go out in a little bit as well and promised to text them pictures of him with his friends, after which he’d spend the night at a trusted friend’s house for his very first slumber party. Upstairs, Isabella dozed with Gidget tangled up between her legs despite the no dog in bed rule they had these days while the baby slept in a side-sleeping bassinet attached to their bed.

He wasn’t there now though. He’d fallen asleep earlier in the Pack’n’play in the living room and Isabella had left him there under Jungkook’s supervision when she went upstairs. He had no real sleep schedule to speak of yet –which was normal, though possibly exacerbated by the struggles to get him well fed unless they resorted to bottles. Sure enough, the bottle Jungkook had given him (while Isabella wept in the kitchen) had put him right to sleep after way too many hours without, and left Jungkook free to comfort Isabella until she went upstairs to sleep too.

He understood now what people meant when they said you had no way of predicting what parenthood would be like. Even for Isabella, this third time was new and different, and Jungkook hoped he was being a good enough partner.

Maybe he wasn’t.

Or maybe it had just been a difficult afternoon and he shouldn’t assess right now. They were both tired. 

And this day in particular was extra weird: days passed without their acknowledgement, but Halloween had still come on October 31st like every year, and for the first time in forever, neither of them was going to a party or trick or treating. It was easy to feel abandoned when the older kids were off having fun without mom and dad. They’d had a new baby in the house less than two weeks, so they weren’t settled at all yet. The tense discussion earlier left him feeling as emotionally fragile as Isabella probably did. He had such happy memories of Halloween the last few years; fighting with Isabella and watching the kids leave him at home was not how he’d expected to spend it this year.

Naively, perhaps. The baby was actually due on the 29th, but Jungkook couldn’t begrudge the early arrival; Isabella had been so ready to be done with pregnancy by the end. He felt guilty he’d put her through it. Maybe she hadn’t wanted this baby as badly as he did… maybe she regretted it…

No, that wasn’t true. She adored their baby, that much was obvious no matter how tired or frustrated she got.

He dashed the thought as he heard the snuffle. It was barely a whisper but one he was instantly alerted to. He stepped around the laundry baskets and Gidget’s bed and the cases of art supplies and the couch pillows that had been thrown on the ground and the baby swing and all other manner of things decorating their floor until he could stare down at the baby blinking awake. Hands, balled into tight fists, jerked through the air, like a baby boxer. Feet hidden inside a cozy sleep sack slowly but strongly kicked. His whole little face worked on waking up: eyes fighting the urge to just close and sleep again.

Jungkook sank to his knees to get right up close and greeted lowly, “Hello, Kai.”

It felt obvious to Jungkook that the baby didn’t know who Jungkook was yet, despite all those hours of reading and talking to him while Isabella was pregnant. Everyone who’d said ‘oh the baby will recognize your voice if you sing to him a lot while he’s in mom’s belly’ were fucking liars. He’d done it, and while Kai did seem to like him singing –as much as a two week old could like anything?-- he thought it had more to do with him having a nice voice than recognition. Maybe Kai was going to have good music taste.

Other than that, Jungkook held him every chance he got, but there wasn’t anything about it that really seemed to provide comfort to him yet. When Jungkook would change the diaper that was causing discomfort, or provide the bottle of formula after a frustrating nursing session that wasn’t enough to complete a feeding, Kai seemed more surprised by this strange man’s competency than secure in his father’s care.

Yes, ok, several family members had told Jungkook he was projecting, and that there was only so much obvious attachment you could look for in a newborn. That would come later, along with personality. Once the smiles started, then you started to feel like you were getting some appreciation for all the blood, sweat, and tears of the previous week. 

The thing was, what no one seemed to understand, was that Jungkook didn’t care. Well ok yes he wanted Kai’s love. But he could wait a long time for that. That was fine. A few weeks? A few months? What was that in the face of all the years he’d waited for Isabella without even hope? He could be patient for his child too, no problem. 

Kai’s mouth opened and closed several times like a little fish. Koi, Ezra had already called him. He closed his eyes, deciding he didn’t want them open after all. It looked like a frown, so before he could gear up, Jungkook scooped a hand under his little diapered butt, another under his head, and lifted him slowly. It wasn’t that he thought he’d drop him; he knew he wouldn’t. He just personally wouldn’t like being yanked up, so why do that to a baby?

“Good morning to Kai even though it’s nighttime,” he sang. “Ah, Kai. Kai Kai. It’s Halloween. Do you know what that means? You don’t but someday you’re going to fucking love it. Also please don’t let fuck be your first word, your mama will laugh but then probably not want to write it in you baby book… Let’s just agree on Dada for your first word, ok? But take your time, there’s no rush.”

Kai had no comment as Jungkook settled him against his shoulder and double-checked Gidget hadn’t snuck down to stand directly behind him (learned the hard way), before tucking Kai down into the crook of his arm so he could walk more confidently with him towards the kitchen, only to realize on the way he should change the diaper first after such a big bottle earlier.

“Are you hungry? Are you hungry? I don’t know, I don’t know,” Jungkook sang to the tune of Frere Jaques. “Let’s make a bottle and see, after we clean up your pee. Kai Kai Jeon. Kai Kai Jeon. Damn you really wound up with a cool name, huh?” He didn’t know which was more shocking, that he and Isabella had finally agreed on a name, or that he’d give his son a name popularized by such legendary pieces of media like Suikoden, Genshin Impact, GOSICK and apparently, Ezra had informed him, Ninjago. Mikayla had also mentioned a Vampire Diaries character named Kai. Eomma said it was on Will & Grace, which she’d watched religiously when first learning English. Isabella had worried Kai was getting too popular but Jungkook had done his research and discovered Kai was only #71 on the most popular baby names given last year, whereas Ezra and Lily had both peaked in the 30s in the last decade.

Besides, as a “Jungkook” in a small New England town, Jungkook wanted his son to have a name that would let him fit in. Cool but not something that stuck out. Kai Ronin Jeon sounded cool. Ezra, Lily, and Kai sounded great together and also ELK was a fun acronym for the kids. They already complained when he used it; perfect.

“You’re the coolest baby I know,” Jungkook assured him as he quickly changed the tiny diaper at the portable changing table in the sitting space off the entry way. Baby stuff had totally taken over.

Actually so far Kai had the personality of… a newborn. A fussy sack of potatoes. Isabella had told him babies seemed like they have no personality until they get older and then you realized their personality was there all along, but he couldn’t see it yet. 

The little legs looked so scrawny, like little chicken legs wrapped up in such a great big diaper. Kai cried as soon as the air hit his skin from Jungkook unzipping his cozy warm sleep sack. He cried at the feel of the wipes, even though they had a wipe warmer so it wasn’t even cold. He cried so hard Jungkook worried it would wake Isabella up in a panic, so he moved quickly and within minutes had Kai bundled up in his arms once again.

“Ok ok clean butt, you’re fine now. Shshshsh don’t wake Mama, she’s going to feel so good after her nice long nap and a nice shower,” Jungkook said as they moved together to the kitchen. Jungkook set Kai briefly on top of the clean clothes in the laundry basket so he could wash his hands and honestly felt kind of proud of himself for being the kind of dad who thought of that, who made it work.

“Your mama is sad about this,” he continued to narrate –Eomma’s suggestion– as he swayed with Kai in one elbow and prepared a bottle one-handed. “So be a good boy and don’t fuss about taking bottles, ok?” Supposedly it was going to take some experimenting to find the best formula for Kai, but for now they could stick with the expensive, pre-mixed newborn liquid formula until Kai had regained his weight. “Especially because it means you and me can spend even more time together.” He gave his son a cheesy smile that he didn’t appreciate yet. “You’re my one newborn, so let’s make it count.”

He popped the cap off with his thumb, then spspsp’ed at Kai like he was a cat to get him to focus as he eased the nipple into his mouth. Another thing they’d need to experiment on, to find the right size and the right flow, and then he’d grow a little and they’d have to calibrate all over again. 

“Babies are a lot of work,” he teased as Kai resisted the bottle at first. Jungkook began to doubt whether he was hungry. He hadn’t started crying yet. Hadn’t he been rooting? Honestly, Jungkook wasn’t sure. He couldn’t tell until it got so obvious it was already too late and Kai was melting down. 

But suddenly the nipple hit just right and Kai gave a suck that settled it further and then seemed happy with everything in life.

“Ah, see? I’m learning how to read you.” 

Kai immediately hiccuped and choked a little and Jungkook gasped and angled his arms so Kai’s head was higher. Formula spilled down his chin, but then he settled back in to keep eating. His eyes opened to narrow dark slits fixated on Jungkook –or what of him could be seen at this stage of development. 

“Ok ok there we go. You fell asleep so fast early. We’re supposed to feed, play, nap, feed, play, nap, so someday you can learn to sleep like a normal human. What time is it? Shit, it’s only seven? It feels like eleven…”

To stretch his legs he paced to the front window and looked out. They’d set a bowl of candy with some Halloween decorations at the end of the long driveway –what they usually did so people didn’t have to walk up to the house anyway, but also so there’d be no risk of someone ringing the bell and waking the baby. At breakfast Ezra had joked they already had their costumes on: zombie parents. Isabella had tossed a waffle at him.

“Usually we make a big deal about Halloween,” he informed Kai. “You kind of threw it off for us this year, but I guess next year we’ll have a birthday party for you too… ah, don’t worry, we won’t combine it with Halloween unless that’s what you want to do someday. Halloween is awesome but we want to celebrate you on your birthday. Maybe it’s better you showed up a little early but you could have done it without scaring us.”

The joke was lightly delivered, but the fear of it still lingered. The meconium in the amniotic fluid had made it into Kai’s throat and lungs by the time he emerged. “It could have been worse,” the doctor had assured him, but between Isabella’s recovery and Kai’s low blood oxygen, they’d stayed at the hospital a couple extra days so Kai’s lungs could be monitored and a round of antibiotics supervised. The rapid breathing had been terrifying, the way his little body had dragged for breath–

“But you’re doing ok,” Jungkook said, more for his benefit than Kai’s. The initial loss of weight was normal but when it hadn’t bounced back the way it should, that was scary too. So now hopefully the formula would help get him over that hump, just like his lungs had cleared up in the hospital. And hopefully Kai would nail future milestones so they wouldn’t have to worry that the meconium aspiration had any long lasting effects. His lungs had seemingly recovered while they were at the hospital, but every cough, sneeze, or chirp worried Jungkook all over again. 

“I guess this is what it’ll always be like though, huh?” Jungkook mused, turning away from the window. He hadn’t wanted to think about that scare again but it felt like it still sat on his shoulder, next to the birthweight, next to Isabella’s health and happiness, next to making sure Ezra and Lily still had as much of his fathering as they needed, next to how he was going to balance all of this once his paternity leave was up–

He took a deep breath and let it out. It would get easier. That’s what his parents kept telling him. He believed them. Ezra and Lily were easier than this, though he had plenty of worries about them as well. Ezra was at that age where social circles at school were really stratifying and hadn’t figured out quite where he fit in it all. Lily didn’t give a shit about being popular, but her grades this year weren’t as consistent as last year and she was already having friend conflicts that Jungkook couldn’t begin to understand how to navigate. She wanted to make TikToks. Terrifying.

In some ways, Kai was easier because this was it, this was him, right here. No going out to deal with the world yet, no socializing with other kids, no needing to teach him things Jungkook didn’t know himself. Personally he was a pro at eating, sleeping, and pooping. 

“Actually I’m better at latching on to a tit than you are,” Jungkook snickered, settling down on the couch and reaching for a burp cloth. “Not that I’ve nursed since I was– but I mean, it can’t be that complicated– sorry, I don’t mean that. That wasn’t the only problem anyway. Don’t feel bad about it. Isabella shouldn’t either. Life doesn’t usually go the way we expect and sometimes that’s shitty but sometimes it’s really, really great. And sometimes it just is what it is and you get by. That’s my first fatherly wisdom for you. You’re welcome.”

Kai had chugged that bottle. Jungkook worried it was too fast and would make him sick. There was only a little left when Kai spit the nipple out and turned his face away in obvious disinterest. So Jungkook did his least favorite part, burping the baby. He worried he’d hurt the little lungs after they’d had a rough start of it. Sometimes the burp itself sounded like it must hurt. Supposedly the formula would help with that too, because Kai would swallow less air struggling to get what he needed. 

“Take this for instance,” Jungkook explained as he settled Kai against his shoulder and thumped his back. “Did I ever expect to have a baby with Isabella? Nope. Did I ever expect to be a father of three? Nope.” The burp was followed by a toot. “Wahh, out of both ends! You really are my son,” Jungkook mused proudly. Then he twisted sideways against the arm of the couch so he could bend his knees and nestle Kai against his thighs, the two looking at each other. Jungkook fussed with him a bit, making sure his head was supported so he could breathe, making sure he was warm enough and the stitching around the neckline wasn’t irritating his shoulder like that one sleeper had done. Somehow there was formula in his short little eyelashes.

Everything was fine. He grabbed a little hat to pull down on Kai’s head, but stopped himself for a moment to just run his finger through Kai’s fluffy hair. Jungkook thought the rounded face might look like him but it was still kind of hard to tell what was miniature and what was just temporary. His eyes were still small and narrow, not yet like either Jungkook’s or Isabella’s. Would the little round nose become like his? Would Kai’s lips stay thick like Isabella’s or was that just a baby thing? Would the wider set of his eyes and eyebrows stay that way or would the rest of his face grow around them? It didn’t help that –as his brother was happy to point out– “Gukka kind of looks like a baby anyway.” Jungkook didn’t want to get attached to the idea of his son looking like him because in the long run it had absolutely no bearing on anything, not love, not attachment, not people making assumptions about whether his kids were or were not “his.” Certainly not on the depth of his love. 

Jungkook looked forward to finding out every little detail of Kai. He thought it would be very funny if their expectations came true that they wound up with a red head, a blonde, and a brunette, though Lily’s hair seemed to be getting darker. Maybe the blonde of her childhood would turn into brunette. Maybe Kai’s hair would be more brownish than his own. His baby eyebrows were nearly blonde which seemed strange to him but maybe they were just very thin and light.

“Who will you be? What will you like?” Jungkook murmured, wiggling his thumbs into the little fists. He had been surprised when Kai was born with long papery fingernails and peeling skin on his hands and feet. He’d been surprised by the fuzzy hair along his legs and back, though it was already thinning out. He’d been surprised by just how fucked up you felt when someone woke you up every three hours around the clock. He’d been surprised by just how instantly he felt possessive of this baby, even without feeling a real two-way connection yet.

“Did I expect you to be this perfect?” Jungkook asked. “Nope. Are you so stinking cute? Yep.” 

Kai just stared at him.

“I gotta tell you though, it’s weird that today is Halloween and just… nothing. We aren’t doing anything. I feel like a failure I didn’t throw you in a pot dressed as a lobster or something. I’m glad the kids are out having fun but…” He fished his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and looked but neither kid had texted yet. So he texted them both and then took a few photos of Kai just because he was cute in his little ‘My First Halloween’ sleeper, and had just set it down when he heard Gidget’s nails precede Isabella’s socked feet down the stairs.

“Hey,” she called, shuffling through the kitchen. “Is he hungry?”

Jungkook froze. He gave Kai a wide-eyed, nervous look that the baby did actually return but probably not intentionally.

“Um… yeah, he had a bottle.”

“Oh. Uh… a whole one?” Isabella asked, seeing the remnant of it on the table. “Wow…”

“Yeah.”

“He must be hungry.”

“No, he’s good,” Jungkook said. He could hear the waver in her voice. He could hear the guilt piling up behind it. “Super good. Come sit with us –or go back to sleep.”

“My milk dropped,” she sighed. “Is it even worth trying to pump?” She sounded more like she was talking to herself so Jungkook didn’t offer his unwanted suggestion: nope. Her nipples were bruised, cracked, and bleeding. The pain when she pumped made her cry. There was a pink hue to what little milk she could get which was blood and apparently not even a problem? The whole thing was wild. He was glad she would be spared it now… unless she was about to change her mind…

She sat gingerly on the coffee table, uncomfortable, trying to protect stitches he didn’t even want to think about. Having babies was a brutal business. 

“How long has he been awake?”

“I don’t know. Twenty minutes?”

“Hm.”

She smiled at Kai and reached out to brush her finger against his cheek. In just that smile, Jungkook could feel how much those hours of sleep had helped her. It was hard to slow down, even though they weren’t going anywhere, but the nap had helped. Not having to leap into nursing maybe helped too

“Any word from the kids?”

“Not– oh.” Their phones lit up at the same time, and since his hands were holding the baby, she pulled the group chat up, then leaned closer to show him.

Lily: we are geting SO MUCH CANDY I miss Kaibear I want a pictur

Ezra: we’re already done we hit every house in the neighborhood I bet I have more than you 

Lily: show me

Lily: I will beat you

Ezra: it was fun but I miss going together we can all take Kai as a family next year

Isabella let out a long sigh and gave Jungkook a smile that looked a mixture of happy and sad before leaning in to kiss him. The kiss was the balm he’d needed to finally relax from earlier. Their moments of physical closeness were limited right now. He didn’t need much but that kiss was everything.

“It’s a weird Halloween,” she admitted with a sigh.

“Yeah, I was just telling Kai that! He really fucked our schedule up this year!”

“Yeah. He did.”

“At least he’s cute though,” Jungkook suggested. “In his defense.”

“Oh, you’re thinking about going into law now?”

“Can you imagine?” Jungkook snickered. 

“I sure can’t.” Isabella took a picture of Jungkook and Kai together. The kid was going to be the most photographed child ever born. Then she said, “Well, I’m going to go put lettuce leaves in my bra I guess.”

“Uh… for Halloween?”

“NO,” she snorted, a sincere laugh. “I guess it’ll help dry up what’s left of my milk… god, am I really giving up on this?”

“You aren’t giving up on anything. You’re choosing the thing that’s better for everyone, including yourself, right?”

Isabella sighed and nodded. She looked at Kai longer and Jungkook let her think. There was no rush. No one was going anywhere. He didn’t know what to say so he could at least be patient as a form of support.

“I’m just so conflicted. Part of me is relieved. You can feed him more. No finding a place I feel comfortable to nurse when we’re out.”

“We’ll go out someday?”

She grinned and insisted, “Yes. No worrying about my supply or mastitis or engorgement.”

“No bleeding nipples,” he pointed.

“But that feeling of a baby falling asleep at your chest… well, Lily was too busy, she never did that anyway. But Ezra did! I guess I can just like be shirtless when I give him bottles, get some of that skin contact back… they’re just so warm and snuggly when they eat… except Lily who was a terror… She used to kick me in the face. I thought she was going to knock my tooth out.”

“I’m glad you have happy memories of it,” he said, taking a gamble. “And if you really want to keep trying, I’ll do whatever I can to support you–”

“No,” she cut him off. “Fed is best. If you can try not to be too disappointed I won’t have big nursing boobs for a year…” She was trying to joke past the disappointment, he saw it. 

“That I would have to share anyway? I need those nipples healthy. Besides, your milf tits are plenty big, Bella. I am well fed–”

“Jesus,” she laughed. And shook her head. “If there’s one thing being a mom has ever taught me, it’s that nothing will ever be like you expected it. And you can miss out on a lot of wonderful things wasting too much time grieving for the way things didn’t go. So.. I may still cry a little bit. I may grieve a little bit,” she admitted. He took her hand, his other pressed to Kai’s chest to keep him stable as he practiced rolling his little head as much as his position would let him. “But this is going to be fine.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“I can say that now that I just slept for like three hours without interruption.”

“Nice, huh?”

“You can have a turn doing it now if you want.”

“Nahhh. You should eat the pizza, it’s still warm in the oven.” He glanced at his phone, a text from his sister with a litany of trick or treating photos. “Ah, I miss not being out with them this year.”

“I know! We didn’t think that through with our Halloween baby.” They lapsed into silence again, both just watching Kai. Jungkook now knew the answer to his previous question what do you even do with a newborn was: not much. 

And he trusted for now the question too of did Isabella only do this for you? No. She wanted Kai too.

“We could put a Halloween movie on,” Isabella said. Jungkook gave her a surprised look. “And we could each have a cider or something? Don’t look at me like that!” she laughed.

“You feel like it?”

“It is Halloween.”

“Ok, yeah. Yeah, let’s do it. But nothing too scary! I don’t want jump scares to startle him or anything,” Jungkook suggested. Isabella laughed, but before he could offer to get snacks from the kitchen, she rose to do it. She didn’t try to take Kai as if Jungkook’s arms had been a temporary solution until she was here. She didn’t feel the need to check his diaper or clothing herself. 

He would have completely understood it if Isabella was possessive in the beginning. After all she had made Kai in her own body. She’d raised two kids through all of this before Jungkook ever came along. He’d raised zero new babies. But not once so far had she made him feel untrusted or incapable. She’d expected more of him than he felt capable of himself. At most she’d gently make a suggestion, but sparingly; usually he noticed himself later that he’d been putting the diaper on backwards or using the wrong size hat. She always made a suggestion if he asked, and he did ask a lot because he didn’t want to fuck things up. But she made him feel like they were a team figuring this out together, and like he had something valuable to contribute, and like he was a good father even when he wasn’t so sure yet. Like she trusted and depended on him. 

His love for her ballooned in his chest. His love for Lily and Ezra did the same as they haggled over candy trades in the group chat, blowing up his phone. His love for little Kai, who stared unblinkingly at the high contrast crinkly toy he held up for him, as if it held all the answers of the universe, continued to grow. 

When Isabella settled down on the couch beside him with the remotes, Jungkook was glad to pull her close and finally let her have some time with Kai in her arms and dangly toys to try and entertain him with as the movie began. Mostly Kai just wanted to stare as the light from the TV flickered on the ceiling. And then he fell asleep, curled up in Isabella’s arms, with Isabella’s curled up in Jungkook’s arms, and Gidget sprawled against one of Jungkook’s feet on the floor. 

And while he did look forward to next Halloween when the kids were already planning their celebration as a family, he decided that this quiet night with just Isabella and Kai was perfect in its own way too. 

And there was totally still time to put Kai in one of the little costumes they’d been gifted tomorrow, or the day after. They could say they did it on Halloween. No one would know. Sometimes you just had to do what worked and let go of anything else and it all turned out all right in the end.

#jungkook ff #jungkook x oc #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #dad jungkook #jeon jungkook ff #jeon jungkook x oc #jungkook established relationship

[fcntasmas]

like. when i was little my parents could do no wrong. they knew absolutely everything about everything and if they told me something was not right, i believed them. i believed in them blindly and caught glimpses of them through rose-colored glasses even when it hurt to look so of course, of course it shattered me when i found out they fucked up?

they fucked up. they did things wrong. they instilled in me trauma that to this day i have to work to mitigate my responses to. they instilled in me beliefs about my own self that to this day i’m trying to unlearn. they did not know everything, they did not do everything right. somewhere down the line i learned my parents were in their 20s and 30s during the most impressionable years of my life, the line i’m toeing now, and i can’t imagine how hard it must have been for them, to have to be responsible for the way my brain would develop, the way i would turn out.

they were a product of their time. they raised me the way they were taught to raise children — kindly, thankfully, with love, but still instilling unhealthy and unrealistic expectations that caused a nine-year-old to think about killing herself. they did not do it maliciously. nor did they think anything about my brain was odd and imbalanced and more susceptible to doomsdaying at the time. these things were not talked about. and to them, if an issue was not talked about, it was as good as not existing.

i was angry at them for a while. there were moments in therapy where my words cut so sharply and the disgust in my voice was so palpable it felt like it could poison the next person who walked into the room. i remember sobbing in disbelief, asking my therapist how anyone could ever say such a thing to a child, that i could never imagine looking at my niece, all of four at the time, and telling her these cruel things wrapped in a concerned tone.

and if you ask them now, they’re more willing to admit to their faults than they were a year ago. but they’re wounded when the subject is brought up, because no one wants to believe they’ve done anything wrong. no one wants to hear they may have, in fact, fucked up an entire human being, when that was not the intention. no one wants to believe they hurt someone they love and adore and would give their life for. and they didn't ask for it, but i've long since granted them my forgiveness.

because i've seen them grow. and learn. and though there's a touch of jealousy when i watch them with my niece, kind and thoughtful and careful with their words around her, there's a sense of pride, too. because their progress, though maybe too late to do who i am now any good, translates into their patience for me today, and their willingness to listen, to learn, to change; it reminds me of the one thing i never understood when i was five and they were bigger than all of life:

they're human.

and my love and admiration for them can still exist in a world where i acknowledge they did not, always, do everything right by me.

#it speaks #been in my feelings writing buck pov and it brought up A Lot in me y'know

[asifarchive012345]

a statement regarding this post / @nbapprentice

I'm writing to sincerely apologize for my deeply regrettable actions and behavior towards both of blair and noah, along with others I may have caused harm in the past. I want to acknowledge the pain and distress I have caused, and take full responsibility for my actions. I understand the gravity of the situation and would like to address each point you raised individually.

Firstly, I deeply regret taking $1000 from Blair under the pretense of a donation and mistreating them during the production of Gehennam in 2019. It was a genuine misunderstanding, but my behavior was inexcusable, and I am truly sorry for betraying your trust in me. I understand the emotional and financial impact this has had on you, and I am committed to making amends.

Secondly, I realize that I wronged someone who freshly turned 18 by not paying them for their work and mistreating Noah. I am deeply sorry for my actions and the harm I caused. It was a grave error in judgment, and I am working to educate myself and change my behavior to ensure I never repeat such mistakes.

Additionally, I acknowledge the hurtful and harmful nature of the xenophobic and fatphobic comments I made in the past. Some of this was by grave misunderstanding of the words I used, however I am deeply ashamed of my ignorance. I am actively engaging in learning about body positivity and making an effort to unlearn my biases and become a more compassionate, reflective, and empathetic person.

I also want to express my sincere apologies for disregarding the boundaries and safety of my minor followers. It was a complete breach of trust to reblog NSFW content onto my page without tags. I am committed to creating a safe and inclusive space for everyone, especially for young and vulnerable individuals and will be certain to abide that in the future.

Regarding the financial aspect, I would like to make it first clear that I don't have the money in my account right now due to supporting my partner with his own financial burdens and risk of homelessness. However, I am genuinely committed to rectifying this situation. I am more than willing to work out a repayment plan with both Blair and Noah to settle the owed amount. If they are willing, they can contact me at [email protected] and we can work something out that will rectify the situation. I understand that actions speak louder than words, and I am dedicated to demonstrating my sincerity through my future behavior.

I would also like to apologize for how I've reacted to people regarding this in the past, as I was a different person then than I am now and would like to reiterate that I am actively seeking council to ensure I no longer hurt anyone this way again.

I am profoundly sorry for the pain and distress I have caused both of you. I understand that forgiveness may never happen, but I hope you can find it in your hearts to give me an opportunity to prove that I am capable of change and intend to rectify my wrongs. I am actively seeking therapy and counseling to address my underlying issues and become a better person.

Once again, I am deeply sorry for my actions and how they’ve harmed you, and I genuinely hope that we can find a way to heal and move forward.

[chumanimtshixa-blog]

Ubuntu as The Art of Cultivation: Nurturing Relationships and Personal Joy

In the hustle and struggle of modern life, slow down and savor the essence of our existence: cultivate! This thought encourages me to invest my time and energy into the things that truly matter, experiencing my life in ways that bring joy and meaningful connections. That must be why my mom named me Chumani. Let's delve into the essence of cultivation and how it can transform our relationships, our personal space, and our overall sense of happiness. Cultivating is not easy, as a matter of fact it is hard, it hurts and times. In the process you have to learn self actualization, to sit with oneself, the good and the bad, then to accept the facts, and work to do better. But the first step is to try not to get worse. In some aspects we are incapable of doing better, so there is value in starting with wanting to "not do worse or more". Sometimes the intention matters most, but I digress!

Blood is thicker than water: Families are Made, Not Born

Listen! The full saying is: "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." So this phrase actually conveys the opposite of the commonly shortened version "blood is thicker than water." The full saying suggests that the bonds formed through shared experiences and choices (the blood of the covenant/those who go bleed together) can be stronger than mere family (the WATER of the WOMB). In other words, it emphasizes the importance of chosen and cultivated relationships and connections over purely biological ones.

The tapestry of life is woven with threads of relationships. Like a skilled gardener tending to a cherished garden, we must nurture our relationships with care and intention. Families, in particular, are not merely a product of biology; they are crafted through shared experiences, laughter, and support. Every smile shared, every tear wiped away, contributes to the growth of these invaluable bonds. Cultivating relationships means being present, empathetic, and communicative. It's about creating a safe and nurturing environment where love and understanding can thrive.

Respect your own boundaries and those of others in order to Protect Your Space and Others'

I always took this for granted, the older I get the more I learn about boundaries. I would have obviously love to be efficient at it by now but I know the importance of unlearning. Just as a garden flourishes when the land is prepared and boundaries are respected—allowing each plant to grow without being overshadowed by another—so too do our lives prosper when we respect the personal space of others. Invading someone else's space can lead to discomfort and strained relationships. Instead, we should strive to build a culture of empathy, where we understand and honor the boundaries of those around us. By doing so, we create an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect. But most of all mutual benefits like the 3 companion sisters planting method.

Nurture Your Inner Garden

Imagine your happiness as a delicate flower, ready to bloom if given the right care. Cultivating joy involves embracing the things that bring us happiness and fulfillment, while also being mindful of not trampling upon the joy of others. Just as a mindful gardener wouldn't tread upon their freshly sprouted plants, we should approach others' feelings with sensitivity and consideration. When we allow our own joy to flourish alongside that of others, we create a harmonious environment where everyone's happiness can thrive.

The art of cultivation invites us to invest in the aspects of life that truly matter. By nurturing relationships, understanding boundaries, and cultivating joy, we create a life that is not only fulfilling but also filled with meaningful connections. Just as a garden requires time, care, and attention to blossom, so too do our lives benefit from intentional cultivation. So, let us embrace this philosophy and watch as the tapestry of our existence blooms with vibrant colors of love, respect, and happiness.

Never forget that I'm just thinking out loud. Izwe lethu!

#xhosa #south african #inspiration #blacklivesmatter #black imagination #black womxn #black tumblr #self care #ubuntu #paradigm shift #black explorations #black experiment #queer #decolonize #decolonisation