#On some level I think I should like Kaneki more than I do but there's this weird sense of detachment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liannelara-dracula · 3 years

Note

🥀😭 for Uta

Hi Love,

I will be including both.

-Jade

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Prompt

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How they make her cry + their reaction to doing it + comfort

Kaneki:

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It isn’t so much that you fight, or anything, it’s what he gets himself into. I mean he hardly yells anyways. But of course, it leads to you two, to fighting. And you know it’s serious when he’s mad. Now although it takes a while for him to grow upset being in a relationship with him still means you two will fight. I don’t think it’s what he says that hurts the most when you two argue but more or so his actions. When he’s mad at you or disagrees with you he will without saying anything, and he’ll be bitter about the whole thing. He also gives you the silent treatment.

“I didn’t bother to stick around if this is how you want us to be.” You’d say kinda annoyed.

He’d turn to look upset by your statement. “I never asked you to stick around, Y/n. You made the choice yourself. But you’re not being hundred percent honest with me so why should I?”

This made you upset for sure, “You know exactly why! And I know that I know that it was my decision to stay and it’s also my decision whether I choose to tell you about how I feel.” You’d raise your voice just a bit.

“So it’s just when it’s convenient for you?!” He’d arch a brow being ticked by such a response.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” You’d shake your head, angry.

“Then what?! What can’t you tell me?!”

Seeing he was yelling now, it made you react the same, “A lot of things--because there is so much I swore to tell no one! I—I can’t just open my heart up to you like some—little girl! Ken, we’re in a world where we’re at odds!” You’d explain, waving your hands around.

“If it weren’t for that stupid doctor, we wouldn’t have even collided and I wish that was the case right now!” He’d say clenching his jaw a little.

“What are you saying?” You’d ask, not liking where this fight was going.

“I’m saying I’m not in the mood for this back and forth with you anymore, Y/n!” He’d exclaim, looking extremely stressed.

You’d look at him with your eyes watery, “So that’s it, you’re just walking away?!”

“Yeah! Cause we don’t work!” He’d yell now shattering the brick walls you put up when you wanted to cry.

A tear slid down your cheek, “Leave then!”

Knowing he made you sad is a little surprising to him since you two hardly ever fight and so I don’t think he sees you cry, especially over a fight. But when he did he felt horrible tbh. I don’t think he likes seeing you mad but seeing you cry is another level like he crumbles.

He comforts you by bringing you flowers and by apologizing at your door.

Hide:

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Now you two don’t fight, it hardly happens. But I think it happens more often than Kaneki because Hide doesn’t always take things seriously so you can get upset when he just isn’t listening and understanding how he made you upset.

“Chasing after this investigation could get you killed.” You’d frown.

He’d shake his head disagreeing, “I’ve done this before, besides I won’t get caught.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” You’d place your hand over his, worrying over him.

“It’s fine, besides I know what to do.” He’d say brushing you off.

“Then at least let me help you.”

“Babe, I’m fine.” He’d shake his head not wanting you to be involved.

This was surely the last straw for you before you spoke up, “You’re getting too involved!”

“Don’t be a drama queen.” He’d tease not taking you seriously.

You’d cross your arms, “Hide, I’m serious!”

“Babe-“

“No—there’s a limit to being involved.”

He’d raise his voice now, “Kaneki’s my friend and I’m not giving up on him!”

“You’re going to get killed because of this!” You’d argue.

“Stop getting in the way of it!”

“You’d really go on the line for that!?”

He’d grow annoyed by your selfishness, “What choice do I have?! It’s not like you care or understand!”

“Hide, we can talk about this!” You’d approach him not wanting to fight.

“There’s nothing to talk about!”

“There is plenty to talk about, you are obsessed with figuring this out when it’s basically impossible. A-and you don’t even listen to me! Y-you can’t even see what’s right in front of you right now because you’re so damn blind!” Now you were mad and not getting into a fight would seem impossible.

“Blind?! You’re the one telling me to give up on my friend!”

“I’m not telling you to give up. I just want you to be smart about things and realize you’re only human! You can’t help him like you think you can!”

“You wouldn’t understand!” He’d insist.

“Hide, you’re too upset to think straight--don’t go in this blindly! You could get hurt trying to save him!”

He’d be taking back by your focus and get angry, “Is that all you care about? What about what I want?”

“Maybe so! Because at this point Kaneki is a lost cause!”

“You’re selfish, Y/n. All you care about is yourself.” Though this was true in this moment you were tired of him telling you he’d stay with you when he’d risk his life. It was a tiring cycle you couldn’t continue.

“Selfish? Okay, and I suppose now you’re going to tell me I’m overreacting just like I always do right?” You’re eyes clouded with tears as you were about to explode from this.

“Y/n--”

You’d wipe the tears that slid down your cheeks, “N-no, you k-know what I--I don’t have to h-hear this. Besides, you just keep making b-broken promises to me . . . I mean it’s clear as day I don’t matter to you. I c-can’t believe I thought otherwise.”

He doesn’t believe he had this effect on you and knowing he did he hated how he wasn’t keeping his promises. And he seemed to feel guilty even if your request was a little selfish he understood why you felt the way he did. Hide needed to shape up of you mattered or he needed to let you go because you were becoming his last thought. How he’d make it up to you is by spending time with you and little you help him and he’d listen to you a little more.

Ayato:

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Gosh, he doesn’t have the best personality so fighting can happen between you two. Maybe a lot even. Now you two are polar opposites which leads you two to argue and disagree and it makes you want to change his mind. And let’s just say you’ve been trying to change him for the better but it is just making him mad. Overall you’ve been in his space in a way because you want to come to agreeing and making him a better person.

“Ayato.” You’d say walking faster to catch up behind him.

He was beyond upset and he kept ignoring you as he walked faster.

“Ayato, please. . .” He’d turn to you as you’d finally caught up to him and touched his arm.

“Talk to me.” You’d whisper, not wanting to fight.

He’d look away walking off again, “Tch, leave it Y/n.”

“Ayato, quit being so stubborn!” You’d stop, balling your hands into fists.

“I said enough, Y/n! . . .Just quit it with all this crap!”

“There is nothing wrong with caring or being good to someone.”

“Maybe you’re forgetting something Y/n I’m a ghoul—a monster! Kindness is weakness!”

“You are not a monster! Because if that is the case I am not different! And you are not a m-monster—yes we’re ghouls and we can’t change that! But I don’t want you to hold grudges and be angry at the world and your father Ayato! I don’t want to see you like that—love doesn’t make you weak.”

“Don’t you dare bring my father up!”

“Ayato—“

“He was a weakling I will never forgive and I’m a monster because I am a ghoul! If you think I’m just going to deal with things how you want, then too bad.”

“All I’m asking is that you try! But you never once listen to me, do you?! Hatred is that the only thing you’ve ever come to known?! . . .Ayato, if there’s one thing I know it’s that love is not a weakness our relationship is—“

“This relationship is bullshit Y/n! You’re mending it without me in it. You just change everything and expect me to follow because what? You want me to be a good man!? Well, I’m not and I never will be!”

“If you really think that t-then you s-should’ve just said so.” You’d say coldly a few tears running down your cheeks.

He’d seemed regretful, “Y/n.”

“Don’t, please. Just leave!”

Ayato knew girls typically cry but seeing you cry after what he said shattered him, he was touched and he hated himself in that moment. He’d make it up to you after coming back one night he wouldn’t say anything but you knew he wanted to apologize and he ends up staying with you and just through time you start to talk because he is being kind to you. It’s just small things.

Yomo:

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He’s quiet, so getting into a fight with him? Yikes! This is bad but also really important.

“I can take care of myself, Yomo. I don’t need you to protect me. I can handle myself just fine.”

“You and I both know you can’t.”

“I can. I’m sick of you always looking after me. I’m your girlfriend, not a child.”

“Y/n, I know that but it’s better this way.”

“Ren, I’m fine.”

“Y/n please.”

“What? Why do you always make up the rules?”

“Because it isn’t safe!”

There was a moment of silence between you both.

“I—I didn’t. I don’t want you to end up like my sister did, okay?!”

“I’m not her! You can’t be so set on the past.”

“Y/n I’m not risking this again!”

“Ren-”

“It’s dangerous!”

“Everywhere we go is dangerous! There is no place for us! And you just want to keep me in the dark?!”

“I’m trying to protect you!”

“I don’t want to be protected! I want us to have a life, a relationship!”

“Y/n—we”

“Why do you do this to yourself? You push yourself over the edge for me and you make it so hard to love when it’s not!”

“Y/n-“

“No. . . No i-it shouldn’t be this hard.” You’d say a tear running down your cheek.

He’d wipe your tears away and would be mad at the situation. He wanted to make you happy and safe and instead, he made you cry.

Uta:

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You two bicker but that’s fun and games. What’s not fun is seeing Uta’s true colors and being in a problematic relationship that functions on nothing but a rollercoaster of emotions. And most of the fights are always about him lying and hurt you in some way. He may care for you but somehow you two are always fighting for your love and it honestly feels like it may kill you one day. He’s put you through hell when you guys argue and it’s the worst.

You whimper a little as you continued to sob as you stepped out from his mask shop.

“Y/n.” You ignored him and continued to walk off.

“Just leave me alone Uta.” You’d say sniffling as tears continued to pour.

“Y/n, listen to me.” He said grabbing your wrist.

“Stay away from me!” You’d scream.

“Damn it Y/n, just listen to me!” He’d shout making you gasp as more tears fell from your lashes.

“What?! What can you say that would change a-any of this!?”

“I didn’t do this to hurt you!”

“Y-you lied!. . . “ You shook your head, tears falling down your lashes.

Taking a breath you continued, “You lied about the c-clowns, y-you’re a part of!—-y-you lead the clowns!” You hiccup feeling betrayed.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you!”

Your eyes red and filled with more tears, “Y-you’ve been lying to me this w-whole time.”

“It was to protect you!” He argued.

“Uta--You k-killed those people, for no reason—for what, a show? To make s-some grand entrance!?” You stammered wiping the tears that kept falling.

“I’m a ghoul, Y/n! . . . And so are you. That’s my life! I make bad decisions all the time because I don’t care! So why is it so important for you to keep me in check?!” He exclaimed, angry at the way you tried to see the good in him.

“I know what we are . . . but sometimes I wish you didn’t always have to act like one! Just because we’re monsters by nature doesn’t mean we have to live by that.” You’d yell turning away from him only to sob more.

“Maybe that’s what you wanna do, but someone like me can’t.”

“You don’t have to be this way--no one told you to be. How is this relationship supposed to stand if I’m going in one direction and you’re going in the opposite?! Don’t you care at all?! About yourself? About me? About anything?” You looked at him with widened eyes as you couldn’t believe him.

“I don’t care what you think of me anymore, Y/n.” He turned walking away from you knowing you two were too different and can’t work this out.

He hated seeing you this way. Uta didn’t want you to cry or be sad—he never wanted to hurt you and he did. After some time, he would probably make it up to you because he reflected and he changed and you decided you could give him another chance.

Furuta:

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Ladies, I’m gonna come clean and just say it, he’s abusive. Seriously, watch yourself. Like I don’t see his relationship as something good, it’s always toxic. Now, this fight was probably just general about jealousy. He was possessive and he didn’t like it if you had a male friend let’s just say.

“Furuta, what’s wrong?” You frown touching his shoulder seeing he was upset and ignored you.

“You were talking to him.” He stated still ignoring you.

“So?” You questioned.

“Which means you weren’t being faithful to me.” He pointed out.

This hurt to hear. “Faithful, Furuta I’ve been more than faithful. I care about you.”

“Prove it to me.” He stated bitterly.

“P-prove it, but Furuta I have already done that. Besides, I just know the guy but I don’t like him or anything.” You clarified.

He turned away to fix something on the desk. “That’s not what he feels.”

“But that doesn’t matter. I only like you.” You say approaching him.

He turned to you, his eyes and cold. “You say that, but it doesn’t appear that way. You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then why did you let him touch you!?” He glared.

“He didn’t many anything by it he just brush his hand against me!”

“How many more times are you going to lie to me Y/n?!” Furuta only seem to get even more upset.

“Furuta please, I’m not lying.” You backed a few inches away from him.

He continued cornering you. “What is he to you huh?! What am I to you!”

“He’s nothing, you’re my boyfriend!”

Titling his had he asked, “Am I really, it doesn’t seem that way to me?”

“Please Furuta, I don’t wanna hurt you and I never would.” You shake your head your eyes widening.

“That’s bullshit!” He seethed, grabbing a fist full of your hair.

“Ahh! Stop please!---A-ahh please!” You screamed, tears brimming your eyes at the pain you felt.

He inched closer to your face yelling and demanding for an anwser, “Tell me the truth, are you or were you ever sleeping with him?!”

He continued to tug on your hair making you lose balance and crouch down crying, “Ahh--Furuta please! You’re hurting me!”

“Tell me!” He demanded.

You shook your head, “No! No! I never did! The only person I like---I want is y-you, please!”

“Please stop, stop this right n-now. P-please I’m begging you.” You continued.

“Oh you poor thing.” He cooed, his grip loosens a bit seeing you cry.

“S-stop. P-please make it s-stop.” You sobbed into your frail hands.

He crouched down to your level, his expression changing as he’d comfort you. “Shhhh, don’t cry angel I’m not mad at you.”

It was madness and he made you confused in this toxic relationship. “But you said—“

“Shhh, everything is fine. You’re okay, you don’t have to cry.” He frowns bringing you into his embrace as if to cradle you from the thing which made you cry.

“Please. . . l-let me g-go, F-Furuta. ”

“Shhh, why don’t you fall asleep sweetheart?” He rocks you back and forth trying to making you calm down.

“No P-p-please.” You shook your head crying, not wanting to do this any longer.

Overall, you probably didn’t end up talking to him. But if you did you’d just be stuck in some toxic relationship.

Takizawa (ghoul):

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You two don’t fight much because you try to let things go. But then too much tension builds up and then you both explode. Your fights are always serious and they hurt a lot and they both are emotionally driven. He may be crying in the moment or after because he doesn’t want to hurt you—he Ioves you.

“Hey you know we can talk about whatever’s on your mind.” He says sitting next to you on the bed.

“It’s okay Taki, I’m fine.” You say getting up as he did the same.

“Y/n, why do you push me away?”

“Taki, I don’t want to talk about this right now, please.” You raise your hands feeling a little annoyed.

“Y/n. Please just tell me—if it’s something I did.”

“I said I was fine.” You sounded bitter but couldn't help yourself.

“Y/n-”

“No.”

“Why can’t you ever let something be about you?”

“Why do you care!?” You turned to him now growing upset.

“Because you’re so much better than what you believe! You taught me that yourself and yet you don’t see that!” It's true you made him not be as brash as he was--you were his anchor.

“People like you are not me, Taki that’s the difference! I’m not like you or others! There’s too much that I can’t—-I don’t even—-I’m a mess that can’t be fixed which means you should be with someone who’s pretty and not some used up girl!” You shout.

“Y/n you have so much more than that.” He disagreed shaking his head, he seemed hurt knowing you didn't value yourself.

“There’s nothing here for me anymore! Stop saying that I can change or you can change me. Stop saying I matter or value to you! I’m not worth it!”

“Why can’t you believe anything I say?! Is it that hard to take a compliment?!” He yelled.

“Because no man is ever sincere! The only compliments I’ve ever had are about my body! How do you think that feels?!—To be s-sexualized?! To people, I have no p-personality, I’m just . . . an object that guys think they can use. I’m a c-chewed-up piece of gum and so when I hear from your mouth, the words, ‘you’re pretty or ‘you’re b-beautiful’ a-all I can think about i-is h-how I’m n-not.” You shake your head, tears falling down.

“Others may think that but I don’t, Y/n I love you.” He confessed.

“No, no you don’t—-Y-you’re just confused.” You shook your head wiping your tears.

“Damn it y/n! You just never want to believe you’re good enough! You matter to me okay! I value you! And I couldn’t imagine not meeting you! You were the only girl who bothered with me—why are you this hard on yourself?!”

“Because I’m not what you need! And I can’t love--I’ve never--I don’t. I can’t. I don’t love, I don’t let people in--because I’m so afraid that one d-day you’ll disappear or that y-you’ll leave because everyone I love gets hurt. And I d-don’t what that to h-happen.”

“Y/n-”

“No-no I c-can’t.” You wave your hands in front of him still crying.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.” He comforted bringing you in an embrace.

You accept his hug and look up at him, “Everything feels like my fault and I just, everything--Everything is because of m-me!”

He'd say stroking your hair and making you relax. “No, no, that’s not true, Y/n.” He’d say embracing you. His hug was the best thing you probably haven’t felt in forever.

He never wanted to hurt anyone and most certainly not make you cry. He felt horrible and couldn’t live with himself seeing you that way.

#tokyo ghoul headcanons #tokyo ghoul #anime #anime headcanons #tokyo ghoul hcs #tokyo ghoul kaneki #tokyo ghoul uta #tokyo ghoul ayato #tokyo ghoul hide #tokyo ghoul yomo #tokyo ghoul furuta #tokyo ghoul takizawa #ken kaneki #ayato kirishima #hide nagachika #renji yomo #furuta washuu #furuta nimura #seidou takizawa

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hamliet · 3 years

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Bird Guy and Bird Stans and Twice Over

Thoughts on Spoilers, how Hawks is actually one of my faves, and more below.

So, I’m not actually that bothered by Lady Nagant’s possible/probable death--it bothers me on a principles level (the misogyny is real), but not so much in a character sense, since any character introduced this late, as I said previously, is almost certainly a plot device and not a character.

What bothers me most is Hawks being able to sweep in and save her. I also don’t mind this in principle, but I mind it from a character perspective.

Hawks did not save Twice, and he blatantly, textually, did not try everything he could to save him. Not only is Hawks framed as the villain in Twice’s death, but Horikoshi put such emphasis on Twice’s death as a turning point that he drew an entire volume cover for it. Lady Nagant’s backstory calls Hawks out on this, on killing victims on the basis of what they might do. So you’d think Twice’s death would matter.

Honestly, what is the point of Twice dying then? To show us war sucks? What was Midnight’s death for, then, if not that, and her death kind of works much better because she was a symbol of security for the kids more than a character?

To show us moral complexity and impossible choices in impossible situations? When has BNHA ever really shown us true moral grayness, gritty difficult choices? It hasn’t. No one thinks it has. Thus, this answer doesn’t fit, unless you think the ending will be Deku, Shouto, and Uraraka putting down Shigaraki, Dabi, and Toga. While I’m sure there will be moments where they fear they have to do precisely this, Hawks’ answer is not supposed to be the right one, or else why isn’t he the main character? and why did he do this in the middle of the story? To say that Hawks showed great compassion in trying to “save” Twice in a way that would probably have killed the rest of the people Hawks considered family is textually unsupported, unless you also think this is what Deku, Shouto, and Ochaco will do, and even then, you have to answer why it happened in the middle of the story.

Even if moral grayness was intended to be the case, you have to address it. You can’t just have it handwaved away. What is the point of the moral grayness, then? We have to see how Hawks got from “I need to put him down” to “I want to become like Twice” if we’re supposed to take it at face value. Again, last chapter, with Lady Nagant’s backstory, would suggest we aren’t supposed to. This chapter suggests we are. I’m reminded of the Enji whiplash days in that I wish Horikoshi would just commit to one point of view so I can either handwave Hawks’ writing away or anticipate it again. Stop trying to satisfy everyone and just tell the story. (Next chapter might clear things up, but you can still criticize writing as is in a weekly manga, and I can and will.)

The thing is? I actually realllly like Hawks. He’s the character I relate to most in the manga. It’s not like I was brought up in a system wherein I was trained to do whatever they said regardless of how I felt about it morally because oh wait, yes I was (I grew up in a religious fundamentalist cult-like place, trained to be a good soldier of Christ). I empathize with Hawks a tremendous amount, with his dissociative idolizing of people he hurts even.

In some ways the fandom’s response vs. my own feelings are eerily reminiscent of the response to “Kaneki” in the last quarter of Tokyo Ghoul:re, which culminated in me getting death threats for years afterwards. Kaneki was the character I related most to, but once the narrative stopped calling him out, stopped challenging him to grow and started handing breaks to him that it never gave the other characters, I was far more critical of his writing (even if I related most to him, never hated him, and pretty much constantly predicted a happy ending for him). However, fans deluged me with hate and bullying for months to years after the manga ended. It was actually traumatizing. I had frequent panic attacks.

The vicious, vitriolic responses to any criticism of Hawks’ writing and the rabid way his fans defend him makes me fear for my wellbeing online. But it’s almost impossible for me to talk about the story and not talk about Hawks, because he’s been one of the most compelling characters up until recently, and he is still the character I see myself in the most. I stand by the idea that Hawks should fall, but I’ve also never once thought Hawks would die in any way other than heroically, if he dies at all.

Unlike with TGre, though, I don’t have uber-high expectations of the writing quality, and my main investment is still the villains being saved, which I’m 0% worried about. I also think BNHA will hit its final theme (“heroes save”), so I don’t see myself disliking the overall story. I just wish it was better, because the theme is even stronger if y’know, you reinforce that Twice’s life matters, and Hawks’ character is better if you pay off the foreshadowing.

#bnha spoilers #mha 315 #bnha 315 #i am not sure if i can tag this because i might get skewered #twice #jin bubaigawara #personal

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myndless88 · 4 years

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Scars

I’m no fanfic writer, but I’ve had this idea for a while and wanted to do something with it. It kind of piggybacks off of the fan art I did for my little AU of Hide and Kaneki having triplets. I wrote majority of this at about 1am, and worked on it until now, so if there are grammatical errors and such please go easy on me.

(fic under the cut)

Most days, Kaneki would not think twice about how he looks in a mirror. Most days he would just complete his standard bathroom tasks on autopilot—not really paying attention to himself.

Today was not one of those days.

He has just finished showering and, upon entering the bedroom to look for some clothes, happens to catch a glimpse of himself. Kaneki’s steps are light and timid as he comes to stand in front of the simple full-length dress mirror. His grey eyes slowly rove the entirety of his body. He first notes his damp hair. It is in need of a trim, but what elicits a small “hmm” from the young man are how many black strands are overtaking the white. Though he has gotten used to the pristine color years ago, it is comforting to see his natural hair color again. To him, it means that he is healing. Though he has to admit that he would miss the white; it did make him look cool. Kaneki chuckles a little at the thought. He concludes that it will be back eventually—when he is much, much older.

Kaneki’s eyes travel lower to inspect the rest of his body. Clad in only baby blue boxer briefs, it is easy to see everything. It still blows Kaneki’s mind how he had gone through such a transformation in such a short period of time. He remembers when he used to be that shy, timid first year university student with a lanky body fueled by hamburgers and coffee. He thinks of how he is now, and his lips form a thin line. He is still shy and timid at times, but… Where there was a lack of muscle are now hard and defined ones. Coffee still fuels him, but hamburgers have become a thing of the past. Much to his dismay. Now it is replaced by…by…

Kaneki rapidly shakes his head a few times to dispel the thought. He tries not to think about that any more than he should. But as he goes back to looking at—more like scrutinizing at this point—his body, he zeroes in on the large, vertical, and very faint scar located on the right quadrant of his abdomen. His eyes widen and his breath becomes a bit erratic. He brings a trembling hand to the scar but only lets it hover. This scar is a reminder. Of what he once was, what he is, and what he will be from now on. An artificial half-ghoul.

A monster.

Kaneki could feel the moisture building in his eyes, and he squeezes them shut to keep the tears at bay. But that made things worse because now he is at the mercy of his mind conjuring all the terrible sensations from memories he has tried to bury: the phantom pain blooming from his right side, eyes, fingers, and toes, the sweet stench of blood and rotting corpses, the sound of hundreds of skittering legs, the shrill and booming laughs of both Rize and Yamori, the soft murmurs of his mind telling him to harm not only himself but those around him.

Kaneki clenches the sides of his head, fingers digging into his scalp. He feels like he can’t get enough air, and his heart is beating way too fast. ‘Calm down. It’s all in the past. You’re fine. None of this is real.’ He repeats these thoughts a couple of times while taking deep breaths to try and ease his turbulent mind. A few minutes pass, and he figures that it is time to end his body inspection after almost succumbing to a panic attack. As he slowly opens his eyes, they lock on to another scar; this one horizontal and located on his lower abdomen. This one is also faint, but more recent. He lets his hands fall from his head, but brings up his left one to run its fingers tentatively across the scar. It is then that he notices the ring of silver—lined with gold—that adorns his ring finger as well as the fresh hickeys and love bites scattered across his body. A large one is located just above this particular scar. His eyes soften, and he chokes out a sob. ‘That’s right…’ he begins. He closes his eyes and smiles. He remembers how this scar came to be: the sweet sensations of that intimate night, the utter surprise and confusion that entailed that fateful hospital visit, the heaviness and swelling of his abdomen with each passing month, the euphoria when he heard their tiny cries for the first time. This scar is also a reminder. But unlike the other, this one tells him that he loves and is loved.

Kaneki hastily wipes his eyes and sets to putting on some clothes. Just as he finishes fastening his belt, he hears three pairs of tiny feet scurrying up the stairs followed by a steadier pair. He turns towards the bedroom door just in time to see it swing open and three small children running up to him.

“Mama!” they sort of shout in excited intervals, wrapping their little arms around his legs and pulling on the hemline of his cardigan sweater. Kaneki’s smile is wide as he crouches down to the level of his three-year-olds and pull them into a big hug.

“Good morning, my little ones. Did you enjoy your time with your grandparents?” The triplets all start babbling at once, trying to tell Kaneki all that they did. Kaneki couldn’t help the giggle trying to escape his lips. Out of the corner of his eyes, he spots a head of blond. He fully turns his head to see Hide leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, and looking at him and their children with amusement. Kaneki’s eyes soften and a gentle smile is on his lips as he rises from his crouched position. Hide also pushes away from the doorframe to meet Kaneki in the center of the room.

“Good morning, Ken,” Hide says with so much tenderness. He wraps his arms around Kaneki’s waist as Kaneki does the same around his neck.

“Good morning, my love.” He places a gentle kiss on the scarred skin on the left side of Hide’s face. There are times when Kaneki still feels the immense guilt for ever harming his best friend—the love of his life. Hide would always reassure him that it wasn’t his fault; that Kaneki was starving and on the verge of death. He would also add that he is healing quite nicely. And it is true. The skin grafting surgery he received makes him look almost like his old self. Despite not needing to wear face masks anymore, Hide still opts to do so on occasion. His reasoning is that some of the masks are cute, and he feels that he looks cooler in them. Kaneki would always shake his head and smile.

“Ah, your eyes…” Hide trails, “They’re a bit red. Are you okay?” He gently rubs the skin under Kaneki’s left eye, a look of concern on his face. Kaneki’s own sports one of melancholy.

“Yeah. I’ve been…looking at my scars.” Hide’s eyes slowly widen at the admission, and he raises an eyebrow.

“Oh?” He leans in and whispers, “Are there any new ones since last time? I know I may have been a bit rough last night,” he says while waggling his eyebrows. And just like that, the mood lightens again.

“Hide!” Kaneki yelps in embarrassment. His eyes look in every direction instead of at his husband, and his cheeks begin to warm up considerably. “Th-The kids are right there!” he whispers a bit too harsh. They both look over to see the triplets playfully jumping on their bed. It seems they stopped paying attention to their parents a while ago. Kaneki sighs in relief, and Hide lets out a small chuckle. They both look back at each other again and smile.

“It’s alright, Ken. Despite what you may think, I think your scars are beautiful because you are beautiful.” Even though Kaneki hears this all the time from him, he is still stunned by the response. Hide then gives Kaneki’s nose a quick peck and turns to their children. “Okay, who’s ready for lunch?” Three little heads look in their direction, all with huge smiles. They make their way off the bed with a little help from both Hide and Kaneki and head for the door. Hide follows suit, but stops in the doorway to throw Kaneki a wink over his shoulder before exiting. Kaneki hears his husband ask their triplets what they want to eat and then a barrage of answers afterward. Their laughs and giggles could be heard throughout the house, and that made Kaneki smile wide once again. His family just makes his heart swell so much. As he goes to straighten the blankets on the bed, he catches his reflection in the mirror once again. He gently places both hands on his clothed abdominal area and sighs.

Kaneki may not be very fond of the scar on the right, but he is getting better at getting used to it. He guesses he should be a little thankful for it too. For without that scar he would not have been blessed with the other below—his scar of love.

With this in mind, he turns and makes his way out of the bedroom, shutting off the light and closing the door behind him.

#Hideyoshi Nagachika #Ken Kaneki #HideKane #HideKane triplets #Tokyo Ghoul #fanfiction #au #a kaneki centric fic #implied mpreg #this is quite embarrassing #also Happy Mother's Day #myndlesswrites #myndlessthoughts

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kenkamishiro · 5 years

Text

zakki:re Q&A replies megathread

A translation megathread of the zakki:re Q&A contest letters Ishida sent back to winning contestants!

As far as I know there were 100 winners, though I only have around 40 in this post. There were more on Twitter, but some opted not to release them publicly on Twitter for personal reasons (such as if they asked personal questions). Some didn’t reveal their question, or all of Ishida’s replies, but I’ve tried my best to guess at their meaning if possible.

The ones I’ll post here are from Twitter, specifically if they came with pictures of Ishida’s art or handwritten replies. I’ll also mention some context if I felt that the conversation/topic between the OPs and Ishida was interesting.

If you see one that I missed, please let me know and I’ll update this post.

Enjoy!

-----

From songbirdfaraway (X):

No question or answer revealed. OP mentioned that since they drew Touka and Kaneki on the postcard they sent Ishida, that Ishida must have figured OP liked them and drew them in his reply.

From mochi_XIII13 (X):

A huge Juuzou fan. OP stated they asked something they’ve always wanted to know from the bottom of their heart for ages, and that they couldn’t stop crying when they got the answer from Ishida. (No question or answer revealed.)

From __rsks__ (X):

OP must have asked how Naki proposed to Miza, because:

Naki: (Oh yeah!) Dunno what kinda pose a “pro-pose-al” is, but I said we gotta be together ‘til we die!!

Miza: You didn’t need to mention that!

From choco__morinaga (X):

The answer was hidden because OP wasn’t sure whether Ishida minded if it was shared publicly since the info he gave in the answer wasn’t mentioned before. Ishida said it was okay to share, but I can’t seem to find OP tweeting anything about what the question and answer was.

Uta: It’s a secret. Just kidding.

From SatoshigeKiya (X):

OP mentioned they sent in a question that didn’t have anything to do with TG, and Ishida’s response:

Soba.

From 00ibushigin00 (X):

No question shown.

Ishida: Correct.

From tsukihoryst (X):

OP asked for Chie’s biography (one of two, actually!).

Hori Chie Birthday: September 30th 136 cm / 33 kg / 21.5 cm Currently on break from university. (Voluntarily on leave.) Hobbies: photography, travelling, going for walks, enjoying drama

Tsukiyama: Little mouse, what are you doing? Chie: I got asked a question.

From Hosaka_0405 (X):

Seems like it was a personal question, so I won’t translate.

From take2129 (X):

OP asked if Aunt Satou, Takizawa’s neighbour who was mentioned in his will, was killed by Ayato? But Ishida stated that it wasn’t Ayato who killed her, just some random ghoul.

From reirei_reina_ (X):

OP was so happy they got a nosebleed LOL. Not exactly sure what they asked.

Ishida: It’s great that I can know about the people who have been reading the series for a long time in this manner.

Touka: Thanks!

From cmnme17 (X):

OP’s question: Please give us more details about Hairu’s hairstyle!

Side: (fluffy bangs) Hairu: Hm...more details…?

Front: Long straight across.

Back: Looks like this from behind.

From go_t35 (X):

Seems like OP asked about the name of a fan club for Ishida based on another tweet of theirs (X)?

Ishida’s attempts: Ishida Club, The 9th Laboratory, Us [Oretachi], We [Wareware], umm? Muscle Lover’S [Kinniku Daisuki’S]. Please tell me of a good one you came up with.

(This is Tsukiyama-level naming lol)

OP later replies to Ishida, saying they were thinking of Sui Sui Club (“club” in kanji).

From 4njo_Usa (X):

OP’s question unknown.

Ishida: No matter how hard things get, don’t forget your goals.

From mishumi_jugem (X):

This OP also asked for Chie’s biography. Similar to the first one, except that she has blood type O.

Chie: Me? I guess I also like seeing drama.

From ChirolMaronLevi (X):

The question wasn’t sent by OP, but by his father. Both father and son are fans of TG (OP grew up reading Jump comics since the father reads them a lot), which amused Ishida greatly. OP is jealous, and his father is smug/happy about it lol (there’s a photo of him holding the zakki:re letter with a glove, with the letter itself wrapped in plastic, with a giant smile on his face).

Also a bit sadder to mention, but OP’s maternal uncle passed away from esophageal cancer. Hearing that his son (so OP’s cousin) has all the TG volumes, OP borrowed the letter from his dad to show to his cousin, which made the cousin happy.

Ishida: Isn't something like that decided at the very end? You're admirable. Please do your best to stay till the end.

From inou_uoni (X):

OP’s question: This is related to Tokyo Ghoul:re. Ihei Hairu has pink hair, but why did you make her hair colour stand out from everyone else’s?

Hairu: Cause I’m cute, of course?

From 3110_mai (X):

OP asked some question about Urie, and the reply:

Urie: Why indeed.

OP is really amused Urie doesn’t know the answer, and it might even be possible that even Ishida himself doesn’t know.

From GW3Q1od9vzXccOM (X):

Funny enough, the preview of the postcards Ishida tweeted shows more of this illustration. (I’m planning on also translating those postcards that weren’t posted by their owners at the end). But it seems OP was concerned about Ui’s smoking habits, because:

Ui: It’s fine, I’ve got strong lungs.

From paralysis_2626 (X):

Seems like OP asked where Furuta’s pseudonym “PG” when he was masquerading as Souta came from. This is what I could salvage based on OP’s multiple photos:

Furuta: Eh, what “PG” stands for? Huuh, is that what you’re asking…? What to do...hmm, alright, this is just between us, but the truth is...PG is [redacted by OP]. What!! Just kidding~ Actually, [mostly redacted, I can make out the parts where OP didn’t blur the text in another image, something about eating bulgogi]. Ahaha!

This is just my personal guess, so take it with a grain of salt. But:

Bulgogi = プルコギ = purukogi = PurukoGi = PG…

OP did mention they were going to get bulgogi after this, so chances of this being right are pretty high lol.

From ute9pmr1 (X):

I think OP asked about what animal Ishida would want to become to relax (for example, OP wants to become a sea creature became they’re drawn to the ocean).

Ishida: If I’m given time to relax someday...I’d keep working as a human. I don’t really want to become an animal…

Ishida later adds in a tweet it’s more fun being a human.

From hare__1127 (X):

OP got back a Houji from Ishida when they asked about hojicha (roasted green tea).

Above Houji’s head: It smells nice. Next to Houji: This is Houji-san.

From re_cord01 (X):

OP was debating whether they should keep it to themselves, but decided it’d be better for them to share so everyone can see (thank you OP, this is personally my favourite reply I’ve seen).

OP’s question: What is Kaneki-kun's life like now? (something small like a simple diary entry...)

Month X Day X

I wake up to the sounds of Touka-chan and Ichika's voices. For some reason, they're excited over some news on TV. I read through the documents related to Countermeasures [most likely something to do with the United Front] , and summarize my opinion on it until noon. Time for lunch. Since Touka-chan went out to the shop, I make lunch for Ichika using the rice I bought. "It tastes better than Mama's," she said, so I replied, "Keep that a secret from Mama." In the afternoon, I think I'll take a short walk with Ichika, and try visiting Anteiku with her.

From Nia__86 (X):

Question or answer unknown.

From OKASHI_monster (X):

Question unknown.

I wasn't prepared at all... If I think about this and that it makes me think, "Ah, I don't wanna do this," so there's times where it's easier not to think about it. It may have been better if I had a "there's all kinds of things huh..." kind of resolve.

From utahira_flour (X):

Question and the full answer unknown. (The postcard on the left is just OP’s message to Ishida about Uta and Hirako).

Uta: Try it out?

From gongon0514 (X):

OP’s question: What is the name of Hirako Take’s Shiba Inu?

Ishida: Kotarou.

From S8OkMMRsYsB7H8i (X):

OP’s fiancee got the reply from Ishida!

OP’s fiancee’s question: Why does Takizawa, when he became a ghoul, begin to hold his fingers in his mouth?

Ishida: Like infants, the reasons can include stress, and suppressing his appetite.

I actually can’t find the OP for some reason, so if anyone finds it, please let me know!

Based on Ishida’s preview of the postcards, it seems like OP asked how Hirako felt when he first got his dog.

Ishida: Something like this. Hirako: …(it’s a dog)

From tacto_0 (X):

Seems the question was personal, and I can only make out something about how once you’re satisfied it will end there.

The reason the mask is in the picture is because OP asked Ishida advice about making Kaneki’s mask a few years back.

From secret_fairys (X):

The first reply that Ishida worked on.

Ishida: I like guys that can win with a hard blow. The weapon is a two-handed sword. Dialogue bubble: I will cut you down.

From kuranosukezemi (X):

I can’t say what Ishida replied to OP since the revealed text doesn’t really say anything substantial, but seems like OP asked something related to the final chapter based on their tweet.

From @S_R_Snow (X):

OP must have asked what Touka named her keychain lol.

Touka: No...since I’m not the kind to name things… Yoriko: She called it Usakichi!

From @rio_080910 (X):

I have no clue what OP asked so the reply doesn’t really make sense. Basically if Ishida has tried doing something.

I never thought about it during serialization. But since it ended, I’m thinking it’d be good to try that kind of thing.

From @Utinni_jawamori (X):

OP seems to have asked a Star Wars-related question since Ishida drew Darth Maul.

Why of course...here. But I also like Count Dooku. Exar Kun symbol.

From @ume__oni (X):

Ishida’s reply was covered up by OP, but OP mentioned in their tweet how they named the onigiri Ishida drew “SSR onigiri”, and that they were thankful for receiving a reply despite their silly question.

Ishida replied to their tweet, and it seems like the question OP asked was about his favourite kind of rice or onigiri since Ishida mentioned something about koshihikari, a type of rice.

From bobriorio (X):

OP’s question: Is there a specific character’s expression that makes you go, “Drawing this face is fun, I love it!”?

Ishida: Something like this broken-looking face, for a lot of reasons…

From nato_noir (X):

OP didn’t mention what question they asked, but probably had something to do with the species of butterfly that appears throughout TG. They also mentioned they started reading TG in 1st grade of junior high, since Ishida addresses that in his reply.

From 1st grade of junior high! I'm happy to hear that. It may look like a "butterfly", but specifically it's a moth called a mock swallowtail butterfly moth. I drew it to symbolize the difference between humans and ghouls even though they look similar.

From Fyt120 (X):

Question is unknown.

Ishida/Matsuri: Even if it cannot be reached, it will be in your thoughts for eternity.

(Why do I get the feeling he’s talking about Urie lol)

From pencil_15 (X):

OP asked about Tatara’s biography.

Now published...!

Tatara (Zhū Lú) [朱鑪, 朱 means 'red' and 鑪 is fireplace, the kanji for Tatara] 186 cm / 96 kg Blood type A Hobbies: Go (taught by his older brother), reading (Takatsuki Sen)

From hachiyone_arai (X):

If you can't stop thinking about the person even though you know it will never happen, that is love. ...according to Matsuri. (I love Urie too.) Urie: No.

From nanasiFAST (X):

Miza: Hm...me? I don’t really rank the things I love.

From Ishida’s preview (X):

Top right - Saiko: Kah!

Bottom right - Maid.

Top left - Nakarai: Recently, Japanese waxwings, I think. (has a rock look to it)

Bottom left - Ichika comic: (you can read here)

I’ll just summarize what I can figure out here since so much of it is concealed.

Higemaru - I think OP asked about how Higemaru ended up working for the CCG because it talks about his history at the Academy and the Qs. Also that Hige really looks up to Urie and wants to keep working with him.

Akira - I think OP asked for advice on dealing with the difficulties with their transfer family, because Ishida suggests using phrases such as, “I see...” or “That’s why~!”. (The alternative is Akira giving Inoue-san (from the transfer family) a Mado Punch lol)

Uta - A personal question, in which Ishida mentioned something about how if OP realized they messed up, and doing what OP needs to do.

Letter below Ui’s - Hide in :re volume 14, huh~ Kaneki also lost his way in OG volume 7 and :re volume 16. [Something about other guys like Naki, and something about how deciding the most important thing is difficult]

-----

The end! If there’s any other replies from Ishida that you didn’t see here, please let me know!

#Tokyo Ghoul #Ishida Sui #zakki:re #Ishida Q&A #Translations #my translations #if you manage to get to the end #congrats :'D

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abjectaspiringfailure · 5 years

Text

Words of Advice - Eto's parallels with Amon, Touka, Kurona, Kaneki, and Suzuya

I wanted to take a look at both Eto’s conversation with the twins and Amon’s conversation with Suzuya in the same arc. That is, what Eto and Amon were saying to both the twins and Suzuya, and why they were saying it. Furthermore, I want to address that what Eto says to the twins is something we’ve all seen before with Amon and Touka’s past conversations with Kaneki.

(TG 98, 25, 3)

While Amon’s similarities with Suzuya are well known, Eto’s similarities with the twins, but specifically Kurona, is something I think isn’t noted enough. I also wanted to include an analysis of both Kurona and Suzuya respectively in this analysis - and what Eto’s and Amon’s words to them both meant.

(TG 97)

The first time Eto meets the twins directly is in Kanou’s lab. She runs off when Aogiri meets Anti-Aogiri, but she’s not really trying to escape here. If she did, she could easily outrun them and they’d never find her, as evidenced by her later usage of her superior agility to evade them and make them lose sight of her. Instead, Eto gets just far away enough from the battle where her conversation with the twins won’t be disturbed, and then waits for them to meet up with her. Eto says a lot of things to the twins, but what are her opening and closing interactions with her pertaining to?

(TG 98)

Her opening is taunting them. Specifically, in regards to the fact that they have small kagunes. Now, what’s her closing interaction with them? The last question she asks them is “what does a ‘former human’ think about eating humans?” Note that she puts “become a ghoul” and “former human” in quotes - that’ll be important later.

The twins themselves are no longer able to eat normal food. They are forced now to eat what ghouls eat - other people, be they humans or ghouls. Eto’s words to the twins here are actually similar to the same words said to Kaneki by both Amon and Touka earlier in the manga, with some interesting contrasts. To get into what Eto’s actually saying here, we should compare those situations, and contrast the twins eagerness to be ghouls with Kaneki’s hesistance.

(TG 100, 5)

Notably, Kaneki and the twins are (at first glance) seemingly complete inversions of this state of being. Kaneki had literally no choice in the manner of his ghoul conversion, where as the twins chose to give up their humanity. He was attacked by Rize, and Kanou used his as a convenient test subject, his first experiment using Rize, as preparation for the twins ghoulification. He laments leaving the perceived safety of the human world, and preceived entering into the violent and turbulent world of ghouls.

This is partially because Kaneki hadn’t realized the omnipresent cohabitation status of ghouls among humans. While Kaneki lived a rough childhood, thanks to Hide, he was protected from the harsh realities of his world. But this is especially so especially so with regards to ghouls.

(TG 7)

So when he becomes a ghoul, that’s what ends up becoming among the most shocking things to him in a series of shocking revelations. That the ghouls were always there, this violence and mayhem was always within walking distance, it’s just only now becoming tangible to him. His denials of being a ghoul, and his persistence to claim he’s human, are understandable. First impressions are important, and Kaneki’s first impression, his first few face-to-face encounters with what he acknowledges as ghouls, are incredibly violent.

His predation by Rize, followed by Touka’s killing of a man right in front of him, then his own stumbling upon a freshly killed human by an unknown ghoul when expecting to find a nice home cooked style meal, then watching Nishki kill that ghoul and threaten to kill him, and then topping it off with Nishki being fought off by Touka. Kaneki’s outburst towards Touka makes sense in that regard. His only reprieve from this violence was Yoshimura’s brief offering of food up until that point.

(TG 8)

The idea that he, a person that never engaged in violent acts in his life, would be forced to do battle with other ghouls just to survive is a horrifying prospect. His fears are shown to have a strong basis in reality, and he almost loses his life along with Hide’s later on when he fights Nishki. It’s only because of his willingness to do anything for Hide, and the immense innate power of Rize’s kagune, that he survives his first battle. Even then, this almost backfires, and he needs to be bailed out by Touka before he ends up eating Hide.

(TG 95)

But the twins are completely different. They were there to witness the deaths of their parents at the hands of a ghoul. After this, they were brought into the CCG to become ghoul investigators, as many orphaned by ghouls did.

(TG 102)

So they were brought up with the experience of the horror ghouls could inflict against their loved ones, in an environment that taught the dehumanization of ghouls, and found themselves surrounded by others who were in the same predicament. Instead of receiving proper mental health treatment and counseling, they’re turned into weapons against ghouls. Amon’s speech here is likely meant to represent a microcosm of what they’re taught in the institution. Ghouls are just monsters. Ghouls kill everyone they can. They ruined your life - now they’re going to ruin others. Unless they’re stopped. By you, of course.

If a firsthand experience with a ghoul killing your family when you’re a child is the only experience you ever had, Amon’s speech sounds like a nice ideal. Amon, a man they greatly respect, lays it out so simply here. A very black and white justice for a black and white world. You save the world by focusing on getting rid of the bad people.

(TG;re 66)

Reducing the “enemy” to a vague and easy identifiable “other”, rather than acknowledging their existence as anything other than evil, makes things so much simpler. Everything, all of it, it’s their fault. It’s a comfort, in a sense, because it’s easier than thinking about the implications of one’s actions and making choices of your own. And if you start by putting this idea into the mind of children, they’re easier to influence because they lack experience in the world to tell them otherwise. However, this type of thinking can easily backfire. For example, if someone else is aware of it, and is willing to use the same tactics to subvert this programming.

(TG 102)

The twins’ encounter of Suzuya, which we’ll be going into more detail later, likely factored into their disillusionment with the CCG to some extent. From their point of view, the CCG knew that Suzuya was killing animals and was dangerous, but they didn’t care. They knew he was being a “problem child” but they let him roam around free. Instead, they saw the CCG as merely gossiping about Suzuya towards other students. But that’s nothing compared to what Kanou shows them.

(TG;re 93)

Kanou comes into their lives and shows them this new truth. Presented with this new reality, with such overwhelming evidence, they instantly turn on the CCG and humanity. Because when you remove nuance, it’s easy to turn on the “other”. Many times in Tokyo Ghoul, a character changes their entire life outlook by realizing that things aren’t always as they appear. Sometimes, this works out. Other times, such as here? It does not. Because there is no real attempt at understanding at any level, because Kanou really didn’t want them to understand. Kanou wanted them to learn the lesson he wanted them to learn, in the way that most suited his agenda.

(TG;re 93)

Just as Kaneki was sheltered from the world of ghouls, they were sheltered from the world of humanity. They were told a simple truth - humans good, ghouls bad. So if ghouls aren’t the problem, humanity then becomes the problem. The CCG becomes worse than ghouls. After all, they’re the ones who are really distorting the world.

Kanou’s usage of their parents, and his usurpation of the role of guardian figure in their life can’t be understated in how important it was in his manipulations of the twins.

(TG 102)

Their idea of a good afterlife is an afterlife where everyone meets their parents. Placing emphasis on family, blood or otherwise, is common in Tokyo Ghoul. But for the twins, it’s probably one of their defining features. And its understandable. Their childhood before the tragedy was happy, they were well loved, and they always had one another.

(TG;re 93)

So when Kanou comes in and appeals to them with a new justice, when he appeals to clearing the disgrace of their parents, of course they jump in on for ghoulification. Kanou’s making an appeal in the light of the idea that he’s their father’s fellow researcher, that he is on the same path as their father was. He was a collaborator like their father was, and he is now having the same crisis of consciousness he once did. But now, unlike then, they have a means to fix it, and stop further tragedies.

If you actually take a step back to think about what Kanou’s proposing to the twins here, it makes no sense from a logical perspective. Turning into ghouls doesn’t somehow bring back their parents. It doesn’t stop the immoral ghoulification experiments, because they’re literally undergoing the ghoulification experiments.

(TG 102)

The twins dismissal of Suzuya as just a pseudofriend of justice is, in a sense, a rebuke towards the CCG they once aspired to join. Kanou took advantage of that mental blindspots the twins had. The idea that the world was simple black and white from years of propaganda and horrible trauma. He appealed to the idea that they were special, that there was something only they could do, as Amon and the Academy instructors did. He became the parental figure of their life, using the nostalgia of their old home and wonderful life to win them over. All because he wanted some experimental test subjects.

(TG 98)

Which is exactly what Eto says here.

Kanou never revealed his overarching plan. He never explained how ghoulification surgeries would fix the “distortion of the world”. So of course this was never going to work out for the twins. He never really planned it to, and they trusted him in full. This isn’t the twins fault, here, Kanou never should have manipulated them in this manner. They were indoctrinated and emotionally unstable children that he took advantage of. Kanou manipulated them into the same situation that Kaneki ended up in - and he made them complicit with his own actions.

(TG 98)

Eto tells the twins have no one they can rely on but one another with this statement. They’re just two ghouls, with no ghoul family or friends, and no place in the human world. They’re not as extraordinary as they think they are, as evidenced by her effortlessly dancing around them. They’re cocky, and understandably so, given their constantly reinforced “unique” status for most of their life, but that’s not enough to cut it. There’s more here, but we’ll focus on that part for now.

Because if all you have to rely on is one another, that means you have to protect one another, right? They need to stop trusting others, put up barriers between themselves and the outside world, because others are just hurting them. Which brings us back to her closing statements, which are reminiscent of Touka’s and Amon’s own words to Kaneki.

(TG 98, 3)

Touka’s questioning towards Kaneki highlights another similarity between the twins and Kaneki - what they’re eating, and what they’re no longer eating. Both Eto and Touka question the twins and Kaneki respectively about what food tastes like, but like above, the contrasts are obvious.

(TG 3)

In Kaneki’s case, he never considered what it was like to be a ghoul. He just considered that type of life hell after becoming a ghoul for a few weeks - he says this to the face of another ghoul who had just helped him not too long ago, without even considering their feelings. He’s begging Touka for help while telling her that her entire existence is horrible. Her blatant dismissal and belittling of him, while asking her own pointed questions on how easy it is to live as a human compared to a ghoul are meant to voice her own frustrations at this situation.

(TG 25)

Kaneki didn’t have a choice to become like this, but neither did Touka. Touka didn’t ask to be born at all, let alone be born a ghoul. She simply is a ghoul. No more, no less. Touka didn’t decide that she wanted to eat humans - Touka simply is forced to eat humans.

(TG;re 63)

The twins chose to undergo a procedure that they believed would change their entire species. They chose to give up the comforts of the human world - its relative safety and security - for the troubled and dangerous life of a ghoul. They, like Kaneki, didn’t actually consider what it meant to be a ghoul. Choosing a body which, as Eto would later describe it herself in ;re, as being otherwise only acquired as being “born wrong”. A body that leaves one alone.

(TG 98, 25)

Amon’s questioning of Kaneki here about the number of innocent people ghouls kill and eat is misplaced for Kaneki, obviously, but it’s less so if he were to be saying it about other ghouls. Like Kurona and Nashiro. Eto’s questioning here is very piercing to the twins, because the twins weren’t really thinking about the consequences or logic behind their transformation. The twins chose to become the very thing they were originally training to fight against. They chose to opt into the world of ghouls, with nothing but themselves to rely on, simply because Kanou told them it was the right thing to do.

(TG 98)

Eto’s saying these things to them, but they have no recourse against her. They can’t physically stop her, because her agility is many times greater than their own. They were smart enough to figure these things out on their own, but Kanou went out of his way to influence them. To warp the CCG’s own propaganda for his own usage, giving them a new (but ultimately familiar) sense of purpose. That’s why this reaction is so strong here. Nothing Eto says here to the twins are things they couldn’t figure out on their own, or, on some level, already know to be true.

“Baby kagunes”

“How many people have you killed?”

“What does a former human think about eating humans?”

Eto chooses to focus on the twins’ small kagunes and closes on their eating of other humans because she criticizing them for eating humans, and not cannibalizing other ghouls. Because if they were cannibalizing other ghouls, they wouldn’t have small kagunes, they wouldn’t be as weak as they are, and they would know the taste of other ghouls, and not humans. She makes her point clear by effortlessly dancing around them.

TG 98, 64

It’s not a coincidence that Kaneki mentions cannibalism in this very chapter, right after Eto’s confrontation with the twins, referencing and taking on the mannerism and logic of Yamori while doing so. Cannibalism is the secret to Kaneki’s strength, and is the reason he is able to become as strong as he is as fast as he does. This is incredibly relevant to Kurona’s and Nashiro’s stories. Kaneki is compared to the twins multiple times in this arc, but as we later learn from Kurona, Kanou was always comparing the twins to Kaneki.

TG;re 109

As we later learn in ;re during the laboratory raid, he makes his obsession with Kaneki clear to the twins. He declares Kaneki a success and berates the twins as failures because Kaneki is far more powerful than the twins. While Eto opens and closes with the twins lack of ghoul cannibalization, the meat of her interactions with the twins is that Kanou is just using them.

Right after Eto’s confrontation with the twins and Kanou’s confrontation with Kanou, the CCG arrives. Both of the twins and Kaneki get into battles against Suzuya and Shinohara respectively.

TG 98, 101

The twins completely ignore Eto’s warnings about their lack of strength and skill, and that they can’t rely on Kanou. In fact, they fall into the same pitfalls against Suzuya that they do against Eto minutes earlier. Just like how Eto dances around the twins signaling her superior power, Suzuya does the same. It’s clear the difference in their skills and abilities is there, but the twins are disregarding that fact - they still believe their own power and skill, due to how exceptional it is, will carry them through. There just isn’t enough time for them to properly process the information, and Suzuya and the CCG are enemies that arrive conveniently enough for them to ignore the revelations.

For Kaneki’s part, Kaneki’s… just kinda lost it, of course, because he’s overworked. So, lets compare these two fights. The parallels are immediately apparent. Kaneki and Shinohara are the “seniors”, while the twins and Suzuya are the “juniors”.

TG 101

Both Kaneki and Shinohara use kakujas, be it through their own or through their quinques. The twins and Suzuya, meanwhile, fight with just kagunes and regular quinques. The point is communicated rather easily - the seniors are more powerful than the juniors. However, there is some foreshadowing of who will win their respected fights evident even before the battle, and it’s actually kinda clever.

Adapting to environments and growing is key to success in life, and especially battle. Both Kaneki and Suzuya have “ugraded” over their “baseline equipment” using Yamori, cannibalizing him in the literal (Kaneki) and metaphorical (Suzuya) sense. This puts them a step above the twins and Shinohara, who are using the same “equipment” and level of training as they do in their first canonical fights in the manga.

During the course of the battle, both Kaneki and Shiro take nearly the exact same wound.

TG 104, 103

A blow right to the kakuhou. Kaneki even takes this wound from a bikaku type quinque of similar power rating, wielded by a more experienced, stronger investigator, who has had their strength enhanced even further by a kakuja quinque. By all rights, Kaneki should be the one who dies. His injury is far worse. But as anyone who’s reading this should know, he doesn’t. He goes on to defeat Shinohara.

TG 105, 103

Meanwhile, Kurona is forced to flee from a victorious Suzuya. Kurona banks her hopes on Kanou - her “father” - saving her sister. But of course, he doesn’t. He tells Kuro to discard Shiro just as he told Kuro to discard Madam A. He’s entirely callused, and his response of “We can just have you make new friends!” may as well be worse than mockery. He doesn’t even make an attempt to save Nashiro, or put in the effort to alleviate her suffering, or console Kurona.

TG 105, 107

And the reasoning for why Shiro’s injuries were irrecoverable is simple - because Kuro and Shiro only had one kakuhou due to their lack of cannibalization. When her only kakuhou was too damaged, she was unable to repair it. She was unable to heal the injuries Suzuya inflicted on her. Kaneki, meanwhile, had multiple kakuhou, and by taking a bite out of Shinohara was able to fully heal his wounds.

TG 99

Her lack of cannibalization leads to her lack of power. She loses her fight against Suzuya, and subsequently, she banks her hopes on Kanou saving her sister. But Kanou doesn’t save her sister, because Kanou doesn’t actually care about Kuro or Shiro. Kanou merely saw the twins as a means to an end - and failures to that end. He had hoped that killing their emotions would, in some way, increase their power past Kaneki’s.

TG 98, 62

Eto’s comments about Kanou buying their home meaning nothing? Her comments about how her parents were the only ones who truly loved them? These are mimicking Kaneki’s own thoughts on his situation with his aunt. Kaneki’s conclusions, based on his analysis of his aunt’s actions, is similar to Eto’s judgements on Kanou. That this is the last thing that Eto says to the twins before she starts bringing up the fact that they’re just eating humans, is again, meant to stress they can only rely on each other. That they need to put barriers between themselves and others, while making themselves as strong as possible.

TG 89, 92

That Kanou would turn on the twins is actually foreshadowed well in advance.

Kanou is remorseless (something he himself admits), and entirely dedicated to his goal. To him, there is nothing he will not sacrifice. He actively encouraged Kuro to abandon Madam A the moment she becomes inconvenient to protect. He speaks only of Kaneki with his daughters and laments the failures of his floppy that has rejected Rize’s kakouhou. His doing so with Nashiro right next to him is meant to foreshadow the treatment Kanou himself will put Nashiro through. Of course he would abandon Shiro at the drop of a hat, just as he abandoned the floppy when it went on the “Taro route”, just as he abandoned Madam A.

However, this doesn’t make Eto’s methods of communicating what she did correct. A more proper method to communicate a warning is shown just chapters later.

TG 107, 101

Because Amon’s warning to Suzuya is similar to Eto’s warning to the twins. Amon warns him not to split up from Shinohara, and not to be so calloused about Shinohara’s life, because he’ll regret that. Amon actually showed concern for Suzuya earlier during the battle, he’s just only getting the chance to voice it to him now.

TG 100, 107

And just like the twins, Suzuya brushes it off. But the difference between the two situations is rather clear cut. Suzuya has more time to think about his situation, and he’s being told this information from an ally, not an enemy. Come to the 20th Ward battle, and Suzuya does exactly what the twins did: ignore the warning given.

TG 134, 101

He decides to engage Kuzen while alone, just as he did the twins. And just as he did the twins, he confidently proclaimed that he was going to take something from his opponent, only to have something taken from him. Against an even stronger opponent. Suzuya attempts to use the same strategy he used against weaker opponents whom he had the advantage over, against a stronger opponent who had the advantage over him.

TG 134, TG 102

Suzuya’s leg injury is not as simple of a patch job as it is his stomach wound. It’s a far more debilitating of an injury that removes him from the battle. Much like Kurona, he treats his wound as if it’s not a big deal. Kurona saying “she can heal” and Suzuya saying “it doesn’t hurt” foreshadowing what happens to both Nashiro and Shinohara. Because Nashiro doesn’t heal, and Shinohara does hurt.

So of course when Eto shows up, he’s in perhaps the worst possible position. While the entrance became synonymous with Eto later on for much of the fandom, it didn’t originate with her.

TG 135, 136, 60

For example, we see a similar event with Suzuya earlier on. Both Eto and Suzuya end up breaking blockades of overly confident opponents, leading to their allied forces subsequently making the charge in the ensuring chaos.

TG 136,141, 60, 77

Followed right after by the overconfident forces dismaying that their plans were foiled. Both sides mention one of their more important fighters, both of whom were incapacitated by Kaneki, who defeated them in their kagune derived states, and defeated them in their kakuja derived states. Both Ayato and Takizawa, the ones who brought attention to their lost ally, end up being taken by Noro and make their next on screen appearances with Aogiri Tree. Both of the characters Kaneki defeats but refuses to kill end up leaving Aogiri Tree, and end up fighting against it either metaphorically (Yamori as a quinque) or literally (Amon as a One Eyed Ghoul).

TG 54, 49

When they’re introduced into the Aogiri arc, they are very similar. Both are small and childlike in stature and mannerisms. The stitching on Suzuya’s arms and legs makes the appearance comparable to Eto’s bandaged arms and legs. The stitches on her hoodie lining up roughly where Suzuya’s are; the stitches on his neck, on her scarf. Even his hair has the same type of general as Eto’s hood, and her own hair when she pulls it back. The character design of these two character elicits immediate visual comparisons to how similar they are.

TG 135

That’s the reason that special attention is brought to Suzuya and Shinohara when she makes her entrance. So of course, now Suzuya is the on the receiving end of the type of pain he inflicted on Kurona and Shiro.

TG 107

Because Eto was watching the entire engagement on the monitors. She saw Suzuya’s response to Amon, and she saw Suzuya’s fight. And while she’s seeming to talk about Amon here, she’s actually not. Or rather, she’s talking about who Amon was talking about - Suzuya. There’s a reason why the chapter Eto begins torturing Shinohara has a flashback that directly parallels the Yasuhisa twins when Suzuya began torturing them. Eto’s reaction is in response to this chapter, as Suzuya’s reaction is a response to the twins reaction earlier. There is a reason why Eto isolates Shinohara and tortures him specifically, rather than anyone else.

TG 137, 103

The flashback immediately opens with Suzuya being told he has his new quinque Sasori (Skorpion as most people know it now), which is the name of the chapter wherein Suzuya tortures the twins. Shinohara tells him to use his knives for the good for others, but instead he uses them for himself. Shinohara’s comments about humans breaking is mimicked by Suzuya about breaking ghouls. Suzuya’s comments about not caring about people he doesn’t like and wanting them to die coalesces into gleeful torturing the twins physically and psychologically, forcing them to watch one another as he makes them die.

TG 137, 102

He was actually ecstatic to jump at the chance to do so. Suzuya wanted to kill the twins ever since they saw him the night he encountered Tokage and was framed for the murder of the animals by the staff. He thought the twins hated him the entire time since the academy. The irony is that they actually didn’t. The hatred, up until this point in time, was entirely one sided on Suzuya’s part.

TG 102

Kurona and Nashiro actually stuck up for Suzuya, despite his eccentricities. Despite seeing him crushing ants all day and avoiding class, things that would normally be red flags for others. They didn’t actually think badly of him, and they doubted he’d be capable of killing cats and dogs like the staff member attempted to imply. They didn’t even care about his past of being raised by a ghoul. This only changed when they saw him that night, but they still didn’t hate him. Even when they met in the lab, Kurona didn’t seem to be angry at Suzuya, so much as take his employment as confirmation of Kanou’s words about the corruption of the CCG.

That is, until he tortured her as he made Nashiro watch. Then made her watch as he killed Nashiro, mocking her all the while, taunting her all the while. The thing is, this was logically what was going to happen here.

TG 103, 122

The very same tactics that Suzuya learned under Big Madam are being employed here against other children who have been manipulated by a parental authority figure. Note that when Suzuya says “after 46 more times, please die” he’d already hit Kurona six times. The total number of hits (51) is the same as the number of seconds he was hung by meat hooks in his flashback to his treatment by Big Madam. What Suzuya is doing here is acting out the trauma inflicted upon him as closely as he can. This is entirely the fault of the person who decided that Suzuya needs not be brought into psychiatric care, but sent out to fight against other children as a soldier. That person being, of course, Shinohara.

TG 122

Shinohara knew exactly what he was doing here. He was warned, rather explicitly, that Suzuya had incredibly dangerous tendencies. Suzuya needed severe psychiatric help, not having his skills for torture and murder further fostered and turned on other children in the form of Kuro and Shiro. Shinohara rightfully recognizes that Suzuya is a victim, but then proceeds to overturn the decision to keep him out of the CCG’s academy.

Note that the discussion wasn’t about punishing Suzuya for being forced to kill for Big Madam. The discussion was about the CCG’s standard operating procedure of turning victims of ghouls into indoctrinated soldiers. Suzuya was deemed to mentally unstable to become a CCG investigator due to his violent tendencies. This is what leads to Suzuya being framed by the CCG Academy for killing animals. This is what leads Suzuya to assault a police officer and physically maim him. This is what leads to his hatred and downward spiral against Kurona and Nashiro.

Shinohara had every warning sign even before the twins. After the assault on the police officer, Shinohara says this:

TG 137

Had Suzuya not reacted as he did, he wouldn’t have triggered Eto’s reaction here. What Shinohara tells Suzuya is that if he gets angry at someone, he should act out that anger on him. But Suzuya didn’t, and took out that anger on the twins. Now as Suzuya promised, Shinohara suffers the same fate as Nashiro. That’s why this scene pops up during Eto’s torture of Shinohara.

TG 137

Eto’s not just referring to Suzuya and Shinohara here. She’s referring to Suzuya and Kurona.

TG 143, 107

Because at the end of their respective battles, both Suzuya and Kurona end up in similar states. Both of our two survivors take their respective partners to doctors. Both of the doctors tell them that there’s no real chance of survival here for Nashiro and Shinohara respectively.

TG 110

Amon’s words to Suzuya at Kanou’s lab weren’t empty. He was speaking from his own experiences. After all, Amon’s partner at the time is Akira because he lost Kureo, a mentor figure to him, as Shinohara was to Suzuya.

Because when Kureo Mado split up from Amon, that was when Kureo Mado needed him the most. When Amon’s talking to Suzuya here, this is what he’s thinking of. The loss of his mentor - the loss he wants Suzuya to avoid. Suzuya doesn’t take Amon seriously, because Suzuya’s not in a position to understand. He struggles to understand why anyone care about death, because people die all the time. And technically speaking, he’s correct. But empathy is what makes people care about the death of others.

TG 28, 137

Suzuya empathized with Shinohara - and as Amon said, Suzuya regretted his rash decisions. In the end, both Amon and Suzuya ended up sharing the same loss.

Amon’s focus for Suzuya was on staying with the mentor figure and family you care for because you should fear losing the ones you love. Eto, meanwhile, focuses on increasing personal power and putting barriers between oneself and those around you.

This is not the only character that Eto interacts with whom she does this with.

(TG 114)

The subtext of this scene is that Eto was encouraging Hinami to cannibalize, as she cannibalized at her age, even if Hinami doesn’t realize it at the time. Because the “worries” Hinami has are related to her weakness, and the fastest way for a ghoul to grow in strength is to cannibalize. Eto’s own struggles against a Mado Senior are what got both Hinami and Eto on the CCG’s radar, at least publicly.

(TG;re 43)

This is also made explicit with her confrontation against Kanae (which is another discussion entirely in and of itself which is too big to cover in this post or honestly, even one post). Eto has an obsession with the power gained through cannibalization. This is part of Eto’s complex, brought on by her own personal insecurities.

(TG 62, TG;re 3, TG;re 73)

Characters having complexes is brought up multiple times throughout both Tokyo Ghoul and Tokyo Ghoul;re. The above three are notable examples and just plainly explained. For this I’m only going to briefly touch on these examples to explain the point. That is, how it shows in their actions. We could go more in depth with just his complexes, but for now, we’ll keep it simple, and I’ll make another more in depth post later.

(TG’re 83, TG 139, TG 138, TG;re 74, TG;re 65)

Arima’s obsession with eyes is a result of losing his own eyesight, which is caused by his ghoul parent DNA causing artificially fast aging in his otherwise human body. He takes out his anger by engaging in extreme sadism towards ghouls. Specifically, for this complex, he goes for the eyes, but especially ghouls’ left eyes whenever the opportunity presents itself. When looking straight at someone, it’s like looking at yourself in the mirror; the image is flipped. Your right eye looks into their left eye, and vice verse. He’s gauging out his own weak eye that he sees in others. He’s resentful of their eyes.

There’s more to Arima than that, of course, but I’m using this to demonstrate Ishida’s usage of complexes to assist in explaining or elaborating upon character action, which he bakes into his characterization. Eto’s obsession with cannibalization hints at a similar, but obviously different, obsession with kakuja power.

(TG;re 61)

Eto’s loss against Kuriowa was a wake up call about her own weakness, that she was nowhere near as powerful as she thought she was. Despite her statement here that she tried to win through quantity, she still didn’t stop increasing her own strength and continued to cannibalize.

(TG 136, TG;re 61)

It’s pretty evident in her kakuja when she was 14 versus her kakuja when she was 24. Eto never stopped acquiring personal power, even if she gained an army.

TG;re 86,

I’ve brought this up in other posts I made, but all implications are that Arima treated Eto as his own Quinque before he decided on Kaneki. The stance Eto takes while Arima looms over her is no different than the stance Kaneki makes for a reason - because Eto and Arima weren’t equals. Their walking side by side is even preceded, in the chapter before, by Haise walking side by side with Arima.

(TG;re 86, 85)

It’s the same thing, just from a different perspective. Even everything Eto says to Kaneki is the exact same thing that Akira tells him in the first chapter of ;re. Even Kaneki’s stance with the Qs behind him communicates the same general image, and the same general message. “You must either surpass Arima and create One Eyed Ghouls more powerful than him to create hope for Ghouls/CCG”.

TG;re 86, 1

This is highly relevant to the discussion at hand - because Arima rather explicitly uses a mother figure to manipulate Haise to his own ends in Akira. This is meant to communicate that Arima’s involvement with regards to Ghoulification programs of both Aogiri and the CCG. This makes sense, of course. Arima is the One Eyed King; he’d want as many One Eyed Ghouls on the board as he could get.

TG;re 15

Arima is deferred to by Yoshitoki of all people with regards to whether or not Urie’s frame opening should be allowed. This is meant to indicate that Arima is directly involved and highly influential in the Qs program. This makes sense on multiple levels - if your goal is to create investigators that surpass Arima, Arima’s approval makes sense. He’s the best gauge of his own strength. Yoshitoki also defers to Arima on multiple occassions throughout the manga and trusts him greatly, such as thinking of him on Rushima, or discussing Furuta with him.

Urie’s curiosity is meant to lampshade the importance of this scene, which when taken into account his reveal as the One Eyed King, takes on a new meaning. It’s because of Arima’s recommendation that Urie be allowed to undergo the frame opening procedure that leads Urie down a dark path that leads him to lose control of himself and go completely berserk on multiple occassions.

TG 98, TG;re 45

I bring this up because the way that Eto describes the twins as being used as Kanou isn’t that far off from the way Arima manipulates Haise in ;re using Akira. In fact, it is literally the same thing. Arima picked up on the trauma of Kaneki’s childhood and his abuse at the hands of his mother leading to his deference to authority figures and mother figures in particular, especially those who are willing to use corporal punishment (eg Akira Mado). Akira also looks past his “killing” of Amon to literally embrace him. This information is also introduced during Eto’s torture of Kanae to indicate the relation of those two events - but again, that will be an entirely different post.

Eto is not speaking about Kanou’s manipulations and the twins without reasoning - she’s speaking about this from her own experiences. Eto wasn’t strong enough on her own to defeat V or defend herself and what she cared for, so she ended up under the thumb of Arima. Eto’s first appearance as a One Eyed Ghoul also shows she has “merely” an ordinary kagune, and this appearance is implied to be shortly after Noroi’s death.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, in Eto’s first chronological appearance as the One Eyed Owl, she doesn’t have a kakuja, and it’s a direct parallel to Touka and Hinami’s experiences with Kasuka Mado.

TG;re 66

It’s actually explicit that a strong impetus for Eto’s rebellion was, in fact, the loss of Noroi. Because her mother was dead before she could remember, and she says she’s unable to accept Furuta’s premise about “peace” as the one on the receiving end of that “peace”. Most likely, given how these situations played out, Eto wasn’t cannibalizing ghouls until after Noroi’s death. In fact, it’s actually rather likely she wasn’t eating like a ghoul at all.

TG 98

This explains why Eto is putting “become a ghoul” and “former human” in quotes here; because this doesn’t logically make any sense for her to do so for the twins. They did not quote-unquote become ghouls and they were not quote-unquote former humans, they became ghouls and they are former humans. Eto’s quotation marks here only make any form of logical sense if she’s talking about somebody else; and the only logical person here for her to be talking about aside from them is herself.

So her main thrust in all of her discussions with other ghouls is that they should be cannibalizing, that they need to enhance their ghoul power, because otherwise they’re weak. And if you’re weak, you’ll lose what you value. You’ll be alone. Someone will manipulate you. Keep strong, because only your parents will love you, and push others away, because they’ll just use you.

Eto targeted the twins because she could relate to them. They made a similar choice to what she made, choosing to “become a ghoul” and becoming “former humans”. Their situation with Kanou was what she saw as analogous to her situation with Arima. Arima and Kanou even end their stories the same way.

TG;re 82, 149

Because both Arima and Kanou decide to kill themselves in front of their adopted child after they got what they wanted. Arima wanted a One Eyed Ghoul that could beat him, and Kanou wanted the Washuu’s secrets exposed. Both decided that their final act would be to exert power over their adopted children - Arima depriving Kaneki of his decision to have both of them live, and Kanou depriving Kurona of her revenge. Neither Arima or Kanou ever really cared much about the damage that their deaths would cause. There is far more to the situation than that, far more, but for this post, we’ll stop it there.

In the end, both Eto’s and Amon’s words, and Suzuya’s and Eto’s subsequent actions giving meaning to those words, inform most of the character development Kurona and Suzuya undergo in ;re. The varying ideologies of Amon and Eto inform both Suzuya and Kurona greatly. This is very noticeable in Kurona.

TG;re 53, 56, 81, 87

As one of the characters Kurona takes on the most is, in fact, Eto. But Eto’s advice fails Kurona, because Eto herself never managed to successfully manage her own issues. Eto’s advice no longer has the proper context and came too late for Kurona to properly use it. Nashiro had already died, and her cannibalization which allowed her the strength to overpower Suzuya was rendered meaningless because she was already alone, just as Eto is alone. Pushing others away is a dangerous game even if you’re not already alone - and Kurona has no one.

TG;re 80, 87

Amon’s advice to Suzuya, meanwhile, is still highly relevant to his situation. Suzuya manages to change himself so substantially by his experiences in TG, that by TG;re, he’s seen in a different light. His subordinates follow him, not because they’re his subordinates, but because he genuinely cares about those around him. He’s a completely different person. Physical strength and acknowledging the reality of your situation are, of course, important. But no amount of strength can allow you victory if you are well and truly alone. Quantity is a quality in its own right - and while there are no certainties in life, as these situations show, they do help tip the scales in ones favor.

TG 107, 106

This is foreshadowed by Kaneki’s interactions with Amon and Banjou in Tokyo Ghoul. Does Kaneki manage to defeat Shinohara in battle? Yes. But Kaneki’s goals are not related to being the strongest and killing Shinohara - his goal is to avoid loneliness, and protect the ones he loves. Kaneki’s become strong and developed a kakuja through his cannibalization - but his isolation and loneliness are killing him metaphorically and physically. Kaneki is individually stronger than any one person of the CCG members he fights at the Kanou lab raid, but he ends up losing his fight against Suzuya and Amon because he is alone, worn down, and uncertain.

Kurona and Suzuya are quite alike in that their situations were negatively impacted by the bad decisions of both humans and ghouls. However, the differences between them stem from the differences between humans and ghouls in the world of Tokyo Ghoul. Suzuya is afforded the protections and safety of the human world - while Kurona is not. She’s alone, fighting both humans and ghouls alike.

You can’t save anyone if you, yourself, are not saved. Amon was “saved” by his friends, as Suzuya was by his family (his squad). Note that “saved” is not the same as “flawless” - both Suzuya and Amon have immense flaws that make them so appealing as characters, things that they address through confronting their emotions and theirselves. Eto is someone who, as I mentioned earlier, has too many issues of her own to give as good of advice as Amon.

TG;re Volume 5 Black Goat bonus

Eto is, of course, aware of her own short comings. She sees herself as inherently toxic and believes everything she touches dies - like her mother, or Noroi. This is communicated partly through her novels and their negative endings for characters. Her using such a harsh tone with the twins and others (such as when she later pushes Hinami away after initially showing her kindness), as opposed to Amon’s friendly tone with Suzuya and others, is meant to keep them away from herself.

There’s more I’d like to discuss about all of these characters, but I’ll just leave it at here for now. I feel like I can always add more and I haven’t really been putting out any content recently.

#tokyo ghoul #tg meta #Eto Yoshimura #kurona yasuhisa #juuzou suzuya #kotarou amon #Ken Kaneki #Touka Kirishima #Arima Kishou #akihiro kanou #yukinori shinohara #Nashiro Yasuhisa

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years

Note

Hi was wondering if you ever did a meta on the end of Tokyo Ghoul RE?

Hello anon!

I did not because I didn’t particularly enjoy it as I have written here. In order to write a proper meta I should probably reread the whole series and I do not feel like doing it as for now.

That said, some time ago I came up with some thoughts on the last chapter’s title I might very well share. They are nothing exceptional and they are surely not a complex analysis, but rather an interpretation of a minor detail.

As others have already highlighted, the title of the last chapter of TG:re can be compared to the title of the first chapter of TG. The first chapter of TG is called Tragedy, while the last chapter of TG:re is called Goat’s Song. The etymology of the word “tragedy” is exactly “the goat’s song”, so it is interesting that Ishida decided to call the last chapter in a way which calls back to the first. However, the question is what is the meaning behind this choice.

All in all, the two chapters seem pretty much opposites on many levels. The first chapter of TG introduces a boy who ends up transformed into a monster and the POV is pretty much focused on Kaneki himself. The last chapter is instead full of characters and we are given some insights on their futures and on their lives. What is more, the MC has managed to build a happy family and is full of friends. In short, Kaneki’s situation might not be more different than the one he has in the first chapter of the series. He starts the story stating that his life is a tragedy and ends it by having reached a happy ending. So why is the chapter called in a way which basically means “tragedy”?

I like to think that the point is actually that the title “the goat’s song” nicely contratsts with the title “tragedy”. As a matter of fact in TG the term “goat” can be referred to at least two things. First of all, it can be a reference to The Black Goat’s Egg aka Eto’s book. Secondly, it can refer to Kaneki’s group which is called “Goat”. Both references can be used to show how the chapter’s title highlights the positivity of the ending.

On one hand we have the goat’s song instead of the goat’s egg. The goat’s egg represented how the cycle of violence and of abuse kept being perpetuated from parent to child. The black goat would have passed her violent tendencies to her egg and the egg had to struggle to accept and to overcome them. However, in the end the egg has become a song, so something more positive and harmonic. In short, the egg has opened and has revealed something beautiful. In short, the son of the black goat managed to become a better person and not to succomb to their legacy. The title can also be seen as a nod to Eto’s plan of “destroying a world in order to create another”. After all the chapter’s title directly references one of her books and the end result being similar to what she had envisioned (so it being Eto’s song in a sense) can be seen as a way to make her presence felt in the chapter even if she herself is not there.

On the other hand the goat’s song can be seen as the song Kaneki’s group has been singing. In other words it can be seen as a way to highlight how a group of people can affect the world. The focus on the group would also contrast with how in the first chapter the focus was on the individual. In short, a lonely life can be a tragedy, but thanks to the relationships an individual forges, this tragedy can become a song. This would also fit with the fact we have so many characters appearing in the final chapter, while in the first one the focus is Kaneki alone.

So, these are some quick thoughts on the last chapter’s title. Thank you for the ask anon and enjoy the holidays if you celebrate!

#tg #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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theheroesguild · 4 years

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A certain exhausted young Time Guardian trudged out of the half-wrecked Divine Order castle, eyes stinging from the fact that he was dripping wet from a tsunami wave from earlier, trying to wring out his shirt of excess saltwater as he did so. Slowly he surveyed the damage, the number of heroes requiring medical attention, and the sight of a couple of Pokemon trainers sending out their water types to help fish out Kaneki (as well as Akira) out of the shriveling ‘Kraken’ remains sinking beneath the tide.

Spade couldn’t help but groan. “ What a mess.” He muttered more to himself than for anyone else in his vicinity. Considering that his magic reserves were already running as fumes earlier, he needed some form of a fast recharge as soon as possible if he wanted to sort it all out before-

“Yes... It is.”

A pair of figures had appeared just beside the grumbling apprentice, apparently just in time to overhear; for better or worse, the Seer had finally made her return to the Order with Oko in tow. Admittedly, Spade startled in fright at her abrupt reappearance and then dread sank into his bones as she leveled what was clearly a disappointed gaze at the scene unfolded before her.

Oko was the only one who had a completely different reaction to everything from everybody else, his frown also looked disappointed, but for the wrong reasons. “You guys had a water balloon fight without us?”

The Seer shifted her focus toward Spade before she finally continued, her expression holding that same air of ambiguity that was no doubt quite familiar by now. “...I should have left better, more thorough countermeasures for you to use, making sure you were more prepared.” Then the goddess bowed her head, a solemn and often heard sorrow falling into her tone. “It was foolish and unjust of me to leave the potential for such an immense catastrophe on your shoulders. I should have known it would be too much.”

Considering what his expectations were, the words left her very first apprentice stunned for a moment. “What?” he blurted out after a moment of waiting for the Seer to continue speaking and getting none else. “You think this is all just… your own fault?”

“There is a reason why my work here requires constant, personal attention.” A hint of tired bitterness entered her tone, eyes narrowed. “Even after training for eons, I still make errors, sometimes quite grievous ones. I should not have expected such a short time of apprenticeship to prepare you for this level of… Volatility.”

“But!” And with a conviction that surprised even himself- “...You wanna know what did at least happen thanks to Kaneki? Catching the bad guy who started this whole mess! So I made a mistake and he went a bit berserk because of it, but that’s my bad, not yours!” Spade went, his tone on the verge of shouting.

Then the young Guardian hastily pulled his arms back down at his side, realizing way too late that he was wildly gesturing with them during the heated spiel.

Fortunately, the Seer seemed unphased by the outburst and maintained her calm demeanor. "And what did this victory cost?" she simply asked, the straightforward inquiry cutting deep into the tension.

Which was more than enough to defuse and deflate Spade, since even he didn’t think there was any sense of pride to be had about his performance as acting leader. “I’ll… gather up and get a count on who’s hurt.”

“Actually,” the goddess cut in before turning her attention to her other apprentice, “Oko, I would like for you to put your training into good use and tend to the injured. Spade will be showing me what has become of Kaneki; on the way, we can discuss the details of that ‘bad guy’ he mentioned. I suspect there is quite a bit to catch me up on.”

"Okay, Ms. Seer," Oko replied, tilting his head curiously at the request before wandering off to attempt his very best at completing the task given to him. (But luckily, he wouldn’t be unsupervised while doing so.)

---

“Attention everyone!” called out the Seer once each member of the Order had been attended to and Kaneki both stabilized and properly secured. “I do have a bit of an announcement, so please gather around!” Under normal circumstances, just shouting that out would never have been enough to garner attention-- but without any walls or, in fact, any manner of standing structure to obstruct the sound, her voice carried quite well across the flooded ruins. Gradually the weary lot grouped around her, some more reluctantly than others.

“Due to the current… Circumstances,” she explained with a vague gesture at the castle’s remains, “There will need to be substantial repairs-- physical and magical-- before the base here is safe and habitable again. In the meantime, our residence will be temporarily shifted to our alternate headquarters in Raeth. This is not expected to be an especially long process, but due to the risk of attack while the area is… Compromised… It will be safer to take refuge elsewhere until we can deem the structure suitable and secure.”

Some grumbling and whispering could be heard; clearly this was not a usual course of action. Someone even used the term ‘unprecedented.’ Clearly this was about a bit more than just making sure the castle was architecturally sound.

“Rooms, belongings, mission boards, and all other necessities will be available over there as well, along with the usual dining arrangements, training rooms, and lounges. I doubt it will be much different, in the long run,” she quietly assured the group. Some didn’t seem so easily convinced.

“But what about the BEACH?” demanded Selia furiously. “The Raeth HQ is so… Grungy, and in the mainland, too! No water for miles and the forest is filled with, you know… Werewolves and stuff!” There was some murmur of agreement.

“Man I sure hope I can bring my lab over there,” Sylvia muttered. “They’re really weird about science over there, and magic. And especially about magic and science together. How’m I supposed to work on an anti-gravity grenade in peace with folks claiming it’s witchcraft?”

“I know the move won’t be ideal, but I assure you it is very, very temporary,” the Seer insisted. “The HQ is quite secure there, we will not have to worry about any… Unexpected visitors.” So that was what this was about… The leak. The arrival, the troublemaker who had somehow slipped through the barrier… The group quieted a bit, perhaps not everyone was happy about it, but they’d just have to make do.

“In the meantime,” she added, “Please feel free to let me know if you would like to help with the repairs here as well; while the area will not be fully secure, we can use as many sets of hands as we can get. There is a great deal to be done, and the more sets of eyes we have, the less likely anything crucial will be missed. Perhaps we can even make it better than it was before.”

“Everyone else…” The Seer’s strain was showing slightly, though she brushed it away swiftly. “Just try to keep calm, and stay at ease. The Raeth HQ has many allies of ours, and I’m certain if everyone comes together, there will be plenty of ways to pass the time. We’ll be back to our normal operations before you know it.”

---

With a quick snap of his fingers after his magic was back to full capacity, Spade presented to the goddess a jar as they walked through the halls of the much more Victorian-styled castle, though its contents were impossible to examine through the glass with the naked eye.

“And here it is, our culprit,” said Spade. “I know it’s not much to look at like this, but as I’m sure you already know- keeping something that’s physically like the Ether involves blocking out everything from light, sound, air… Not a single atom of anything goes in or out.”

The Seer examined the jar contemplatively, giving a nod of understanding; it was hard to believe that there was such a small version of the Ether that it could be trapped within just this small jar, but she could tell her apprentice’s words were quite sincere. “The Ether itself was a shock when I first learned of it, and now there are even more branches of this being. This... For all that I can see, this was not something I was able to anticipate, as though blocked from my vision somehow.” Two fingers rubbed at her temples in frustration. “I cannot fathom what this means. It could be multiplying, or growing to such immense size that portions break off, or perhaps they are small enough fragments to slip under our radar all this time…”

She sighed. “I suppose there is no use in overthinking it for the time being. We will have to worry about that after more pressing matters are settled.” The pair had reached a staircase leading deep underneath the castle, lit by flickering torches. The whole area felt incredibly eerie; it was just what one would expect from some creepy dungeon.

“You’re right, but I think you might be interested in a couple of other details that Erwick can confirm.” her apprentice added. “Attacks like from his flames worked perfectly fine as usual, but there was also this shiny weak spot on it. Literally. Some kind of scar maybe?”

“A… scar?”

“Yeah. White and glowing. Like… Ganondorf’s, all the way back in Twilight Princess. And then they were hamming it up about trying to prove their worth to the rest of the Ether.”

If not for how serious the entire situation was, the sight would’ve been almost comedic. Spade continued on, “Honestly with how its plan went horribly right on trying to piss off Kaneki, I could see why this thing might actually be a bit of a bumbling idiot in the Ether’s view.”

“Interesting.” The Seer made a mental note of this; perhaps there was a bit more to her initial impression than she’d thought. “That behavior is rather unusual as well, the Ether does not seem to have much ambition aside from its… Destructive nature. Hm. I suppose we will have to keep on the lookout for other, similar phenomena.”

It was about then that the cell came into view… The bars looked like exactly the sort of solid steel that one would expect in some classic old dungeon, though they were nothing compared to the unseen energy field that would block any unsanctioned passage in or out. Inside, however, it was at least clean and tidy; there was also a bed and a bathroom for now. The Seer would have to check its occupant’s mental condition before deciding if any other furniture was safe to place inside…

“It seems he’s still out cold,” she commented quietly. “With the RC suppressants administered, at least his awakening won’t shake the foundations. I imagine I will still know nonetheless.” Considering the effect his aura had on her, there was no question of what she meant there.

“With luck… Hopefully, Kaneki will recover soon.”

The Seer wasn’t sure she believed her own words.

---

The sea breeze was so much stronger with most of the island demolished, rushing across the debris with a ragged howl. There was nothing to hold it back now, just like any of the countless fiendish creatures that could have launched their attacks on the rubble. But aside from that wind, it was quiet, most of those who’d come to make repairs working in relative silence. The atmosphere was heavy indeed, and none seemed daring enough to try and cut through it.

The Seer meanwhile was occupied by her own thoughts, and they were no gentler than the roaring tides.

She was certain the barrier had to be compromised in some way. That thing had gotten in somehow, after all; normally the field was able to protect against even the full might of the Ether pounding on its walls. It had rebuffed countless beasts, many much stronger than the little spectral scoundrel now in their custody.

So how had it gotten inside when so many others couldn’t?

Checking the magic was bearing no fruit, nor were the wards or, in fact, any of the other enchantments of varying types that were supposed to keep this place safe.

None of it made any sense.

Her initial guess was that Spade had accidentally changed a setting or altered the composition of the energy, or… Something. But whatever had caused the breach, it seemed to be back in place now-- even if the field itself was still temporarily down. The whole thing was making the Seer’s head spin… She was a being with visions of the future, knowledge of the unknown, all the multiverse crammed into what was once a mortal skull.

So why couldn’t she understand what was happening here?

Why hadn’t she been able to predict any of this?

How had she not even known about that tiny Ether’s existence?

There were too many questions and not enough answers. So, for the time being, she set herself back to the task of repairing the castle-- rebuilding walls, fixing tapestries, and retrieving broken tech. It wasn’t perfect, but at least keeping her mind busy would prevent any further over-thinking.

Everything would be back to normal soon. It had to be.

#IC announcement #legacy of the heroes guild #co author; Dragroar #that makes the event officially over #thanks for participating folks!

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lia-nikiforov · 6 years

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Fall Anime 2018 Watchlist

We’re about halfway into the season so this is probably kinda pointless by now, but here’s a quick rundown of the stuff I’m watching this season.

Dropped

Jingaisan no Yome: This is a 3 minute show and I won’t spend longer than that writing about it (I’m timing myself). I didn’t know it was a short going in. I’m not really into shorts, Saiki kun being the only exception and the story was less MahoYome and more... i don’t even have an apt comparison, it just was maybe more serious about the “marriage” thing than something with a giant floofball character should be.

Tokyo Ghoul: Re 2: It’s simple. I watched episode 1 and realized I had no fucking clue of how any of this related to the ending of the first season, no idea of who half the characters were and where did they allegiances lie and what is Kaneki even trying to do. Although not loyal to the manga, the first two seasons of Tokyo Ghoul had a story that could be followed and made sense, this, however, is just jumping over plot points with no rhyme or reason and there’s nothing but confusion.

Bloom Into You: There’s nothing actually wrong with this show and I was kind of looking forward to a yuri romance that wasn’t rapey or incesty bullshit, but something about this one just didn’t click with me. Like Touko fell in love with Yuu too quickly, and given Yuu’s ace/aro identity, it would feel weird for her to do a 180 and suddenly fall in love with Touko. I kind of want more fun and emotions in my romance stories and this one didn’t have much of either.

Chopping Block

Given a few things the past two weeks that didn’t go according to plan, I fell behind on my anime watching after keeping it in control for the first third of the season and i’m quite annoyed. And because of this, and my upcoming research trip to Japan at the end of the month, I might end up having to drop a couple of series.

Bakumatsu: Objectively speaking, this show is really bad. The production values are poop, the story is a wacky mess that takes itself a bit too seriously and the characters are flat and uninteresting, the villain is egregiously boring. This show also has Matsuo Basho as a secret tive traveling ninja, and that puts me at quite the predicament. I want to see more of this utterly bonkers historical reinterpretation, but boy do I wish they could make it more exciting.

SAO Alicization: The only reason I, a notorious SAO hater, is watching SAO is because I hate myself. With that out of the way, boy is this SAO boring. We’re four episodes in and the only thing that’s happened is they cut an old tree because nothing can stop Kirito and his new friend, Yellow Kirito. This show needs to start getting offensive and/or stupid soon or i’ll die of boredom.

Karakuri Circus: I hear this one’s from the same mangaka as UshiTora? I love UshiTora and I can see the resemblance between giant guy whose name I can’t remember and Tora. His character and his schtick are so far the most interesting thing to me, with the kuudere puppet girl whose main purpose seems to be to get paired with him having yet to make an impression on me. I’m also still not really certain what the overall plot is. I do love stories about found families, so hopefully I can stick with this one

Hinomaru Sumou: If my watching schedule were normal, this wouldn’t be in this section. Whilst not the best sports show of the season, and chock full of some of the most eyeroll worthy aspects of sports shonen *cough cough* toxic *cough cough* masculinity *cough cough*, Hinomaru Sumou has the fire and passion for an underrepresented sport that’s usually enough to hook me. I just don’t have time, and if push comes to shove, I’ll prioritize other shows over this one.

Banana Fish: Yo, okay, before you lynch me for being a hater or whatever, let me tell you I have zero issues with Banana Fish. I don’t hate it, I don’t think it’s Bad Representation(TM) whatever the fuck that means, I definitely don’t think it’s fujobait or just another BL. It just doesn’t make me happy. This probably doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I’ve never been a fan of tragedy. It’s also part of the reason I’m dropping Tokyo Ghoul. I don’t like hopeless stories and tragic romances. I’m somewhat spoiled on how the manga ends and each time I find myself less and less inclined to watch the newer episodes because the descent into misery is just not enjoyable for me. It’s not the show’s wrongdoing, it’s just not the kind of story I like. I’m probably too far along to drop it at this point, but also I kinda wish I could drop it because I get so little joy out of it. Also, my main hook is of course Ash and Eiji’s relationship, but 15 episodes in (I’m behind, as is evident) the time they’ve spent together is so minimal, I can’t even appreciate that a whole lot.

I guess I’m watching this?

Dakaichi: Me: Man I really want a yuri anime without rapey bullshit. Also me: watches BL anime with rapey bullshit. I have literally no excuse. I think the basic setup lends itself really well for a romcom and Takato is a very likable character, it’s a shame it’s the same old rapey bullshit. In my defense, episode two was really sweet and I’ve been hoping for more stories along that line, even though the show has failed to deliver them since. Episode 5 may have pushed the line even beyond what I’m willing to tolerate, but it’s unclear. I might end up unexpectedly dropping it after episode 6. HEY JAPAN WOULD IT KILL YOU TO MAKE A BL ANIME THAT WASN’T RAPEY BULLSHIT? JUST ONE?

(honestly, Takato deserves better)

wao episode 6 was maji disgusting i might drop it after all

Fairy Tail Final: I just want closure man. This adaptation retains all the worst attributes of the previous season, terribly slow pacing (what for?! the manga is over!!) minimal animation, recapalooza. The color palette is slightly brighter than before, which I appreciate. Fairy Tail’s last arc wasn’t as bad as Bleach’s, but it was still pretty bad in the manga; still I hope seeing it animated will make it feel less messy and slightly more coherent. The FT anime has also in the past filled in some blanks that existed in the manga, so hopefully they can make the best out of it here.

(Erza is still my wife)

Tsurune: No, this isn’t the best sports anime of this season either. Although that’s hard to judge given how it’s barely on its second (third, i’m behind) episode. Technically, I feel more compelled to drop this than Hinomaru, but also I want to give it a fair chance. That said, the first episode was.... profoundly underwhelming and borderline upsetting, with how everyone put Minato on the spot in spite of his having an actual psychologic condition that drove him away from kyudo. I’m all in for stories about growing and surpassing your own obstacles, but I hope they go about it in a less mean-spirited way. Also, the characters feel pretty shallow so far. I’m not even gonna pretend the main reason I want to keep watching isn’t gorgeous guy with the ponytail-san, because I’m now old enough that I immediately gravitate towards the senseis rather than the teenage protags.

i am so weak to long hair _(:3」∠)_

welp he cut his hair right next episode, thanks for nothing kyoani

In spite of everything, Anime is, in fact, Good

Golden Kamuy: Like with many split-cours, there’s nothing much to say beyond “if you liked the first one, you’ll like this one”. The production values are still tragic, but I think the pace has improved, and the dynamics between the different factions are so fluid and constantly changing they make the story very enthralling. It also continues to have the Best Reaction Faces.

Gakuen Basara: Listen, listen. You all knew I was gonna watch this. And I love Basara so much I still think this show is a masterpiece even when it’s objectively atrocious. I do not reccommend it to anyone who isn’t already a fan (and I mean a blind fan willing to consume anything from this franchise, even in its cheapest, dumbest, worst looking incarnation). That said there are a couple of interesting things, namely the power rivalry between Hideyoshi and Nobunaga, this never happened in the original series because Nobunaga died before Hideyoshi was introduced. Anyway, just shoot that Masamune x Kojuuro fanservice straight into my veins please and thank you

Zombieland Saga: One of the two biggest surprises of the season and one that was nowhere near my radar. An original production by studio MAPPA with perhaps the wildest premiere episode of the season that’s somehow making me like idols?! It’s also giving us the most Miyano Mamoru has ever Miyano’d and it’s amazing and histerical. The characters are also very charming, specially bikegang leader Saki and the always legendary Yamada Tae and the show isn’t scared of letting its cute idols get gross and silly and dirty. There’s also a feeling of mystery that I find very appealing. Definitely didn’t expect this one to be one of the highlights of my week, yet here we are.

SSSS Gridman: Just when I’d vowed a giant fuck you to Studio Trigger, in they come with one of their most quiet productions yet, with characters that speak their lines in soft, leveled voices, tragedies that feel palpable, emotionally climactic battle scenes and a sense of tension and mystery that makes it impossible to take your eyes away. It does have the caveat of oversexualizing the female characters, specially the villain, and not giving Rikka virtually anything to do, but past that, it’s been a very pleasant and intriguing surprise. Also of note, I have no background knowledge of the Gridman tokusatsu series but that hasn’t really been an impediment to enjoy this series.

Double Decker: Doug & Kirill: A spinoff to the 2010 superhero hit Tiger & Bunny, we have a less superpowery buddycop comedy with a cool and diverse cast, whose main character wants to BRING DOWN CAPITALISM, okay, put an end to economic inequality and classes, but that’s basically the same thing. The show is pretty far along because it premiered early for some reason, and so far it’s been mostly one-shot stories very thinly connected to the distribution of the illegal drug Anthem, with our main plot having only come up two episodes ago with the fantastic Zabel and Bamboo Man twist. The dynamics between the main duo are great and Kirill is a riot as a protagonist.

Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru: Or Run with the Wind. Now THIS is the best sports anime of the season. Brought to you by the studio behind Haikyu, based on a novel by the author of Fune wo Amu. Firstly I love that it’s set in university, because it gives the cast a lot more variety in their interests, ages and personalities, their goals, their baggage, and it makes the process of bringing this team of misfits together even more interesting to watch. The characters feel very human in the way they speak, their worries, their relationships, their actions. The show’s done a great job so far in building the characters and making them worth cheering for. Also Ouji is my spirit animal. If you ever wanted a show to motivate you into running, this is what you’ve been waiting for! Another great surprise of this season for sure.

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo: Finally part Five is here! And in it we get perhaps the most interesting Jojo protagonist right off the bat, with troubled Giorno and his difficult past and his wonderful Stand ability. His new set of allies is also quite eccentric and interesting and every scene and dialogue has that special Jojo flavor of crazy and ridiculous and always a load of fun. This one will have 39 episodes, so we’re barely getting started and I’m already loving all of it.

Thunderbolt Fantasy 2: Urobutcher’s favorite puppets are back with a vengeance! Every bit as fun, insane, cool and over-the-top as the first season, with the added value of the rapport between the characters, evidenced by how brilliant the few scenes in which Shang and Lin share the screen are. With a brand new story that expands the world of our favorite puppets, and even more new gorgeous puppets added to the mix to make Shang’s life a mess, this show is definitely my favorite this season and potentially of the year. Let Urobuchi keep doing puppets for as long as he wants!

ooof i’m finally done. It’s midseason so probably nobody cares but do hmu with your favorite shows of the season and if there’s anything worth hatewatching that I may be missing ;)

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foxydivaxx · 5 years

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Septette for the Dead Prince Chapter 8: Turn Back The Pendulum

This will shed some light on Aogiri’s past. Trigger warning: rape mention

“T-There is something that has been disturbing me for the past couple years and I feel it is time to get it off my chest. The boys are also part of this as well.”

The Titans stare at the rest of Aogiri who all nod and get up. “I guess there is no other way around this,” says Kaneki.

“Yeah but is it really advisable that you do what it is I think you are about to do?” asks Lelouch.

Dick has a confused look on his face. “What do you mean?”

“Well....Eren here is going to show you what it is that we are talking about. However, a little heads up. This ain’t for the fainthearted.” Ichigo warns.

“No worries. We are all used to stuff,” says Rachel. The other Titans shoot her confused glances. Eren simply sighs. This is perhaps the hardest decision that he has had to make. Well not just him, the entire group as well as they all went back and forth on it several times and only recently decided to finally tell the Titans. The only question now is how would they take it?

“Right, let’s go,” says Eren. He then closes his eyes and using his powers, teleports them to a now deserted island with ancient Greek and Viking ruins.

“Wait...did you just...” says Garfield. Eren smiles a bit. “Yup. I teleported us here.” It was then that Sick began to realize something. “Just like your AOT character...”

Eren chuckles softly. “Yeah but Attack on Titan only told the world only half of the truth, the truth the others wanted to hear. That is why I brought you all here. To explain the truth to you.”

Rachel then gasps. “So that story is true!! All that stuff happened...” Eren then looks down and nods. “Yes. The monster being portrayed there was me. But like I said, there is more. This place I brought us to is the ruins of the land once called Eldia.”

The Titans gasped. “Oh my....” Lelouch nods. “About 3000 years ago, this land was given to Queen Makaria better known as Carla Jaeger years ago by Lord Hades as a wedding gift after she married Prince Adrian of Athens, Eren’s father who became the first King of Eldia.”

The gang then see what appeared to be past ghosts of several key figures, including Eren’s parents. Eren smiles sadly once he sees the vision of his baby self. Dick and Kory notice this and each takes one of his hands, a gesture that deeply warmed his heart.

“The nine of us were Eren’s bodyguards and best friends and also his cousins for all of us save for 3 were children of the Muses,” says Rin. “Also we were princes from different Kingdoms too.” says Natsu.

“Which says a lot about your talents,” says Rose. The boys grinned as they watched their younger selves run around, singing, dancing and just have fun.

“However, a dark shadow hung over us and that dark shadow was none other than Melinoe, Eren’s aunt and Queen Makaria’s sister.” said Natsu.

“The witch was jealous that her sister was more popular than she was and decided to destroy whatever happiness she had by first having her husband killed and plunging them into war and darkness and hurt Eren the Crown Prince.”

“Wait....but I thought Zeke was the older sibling.” Says Rose. “Nah. Eren is the true firstborn.”

Eren looks down, tears flowing down his eyes as he watches the witch kill his father in front of his young inexperienced self.

“I....I was forced to become King on that day but...I failed...plus....t-that witch did something terrible to me.”

The gang was horrified by what they saw next. Prior to Eldia’s destruction, the evil witch tortured and defiled the poor Prince. Days later, The Kingdom of Eldia is set ablaze as Viking warriors similar to the ones that enslaved Ymir Fritz years later, laid waste to the entire Kingdom and massacred thousands.

Rachel was in tears as she saw this, prompting Garfield to comfort her whilst Jason, Conner and Rose are disgusted by this.

Aogiri’s past selves led by Eren head to battle whilst Armin, Jean, and Connie; the three boys that would eventually walk out of the group stayed in the Palace to protect the Princesses with Zeke.

“The three traitors that walked out of the group were also traitors as they slaughtered Eren’s siblings,” says Rin.

Everyone grimaced when they saw Jean, Connie and Armin stab and kill Eren’s siblings. “Those bastards!!” says Dick.

Back on the battlefield, Melinoe and Makaria engage in one last duel. “I will make you pay for what you did to my husband you witch!!” Makaria yelled as her sword clashes with her sister’s.

Melinoe simply cackles. “It is too late!!” She sends her sister’s sword flying and without hesitation, she stabs her sister straight in the heart, killing her.

“NO!!!” Eren’s ancient self screams and drops to his knees, tears in his eyes.

Dick and Kory both show concern for Eren who simply looks away.

The evil witch then heads off to the Temple of Hades to carry out one more diabolical act. “Now that those fools are out of the way, might as well steal the power of Father dearest from here.”

“Not so fast!!”

She whips around to see Eren and his friends stand in front of her. “Ah!! If it isn’t the cowardly Prince and his friends.”

“He is not a coward!!” Lelouch shouts back at her, his eyes glowing red with anger. Eren simply shoots a death glare at her. “Less talk, more action.” Without hesitation, they proceed to attack.

Natsu shoots a fire blast whilst Naruto sends a pool of water at her but the witch teleports out of the way. Ichigo and Izuku come down, trying to hit her with lightning and wind blasts but she blocks it and throws both boys aside.

Luffy punches the earth beneath him and kicks some rocks at her which again she blocks whilst Rin tries using a light attack but it fails and she sends him flying with a dark magical blast and also kicks Luffy in the gut.

Lelouch and Kaneki charge towards the witch, Lelouch trying to freeze her whilst Kaneki tries to use his telepathy. Unfortunately for them, the woman stops their attacks and uses her telepathy to send them flying back, causing them to hit the others.

“Now where is the Prince?” she asked. Before she could say anything, she gasps and coughs out blood as Eren stabs her. “It’s over witch.” he says.

She smirks evilly. “Or is it?!” Unfortunately for Eren, the one that he stabbed was just a fske clone. The real deal shows up and proceeds to use all of her magical powers to not only kill the boys but also to destroy what was left of Eldia, sacrificing even her soldiers.

“What a monster.” says Kory.

“Are you satisfied?” Melinoe turns around to see her mother Persephone. She then panics. “I...I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU!!”

“You didn’t. You did however destroyed the rest of Olympus including your own father because of your greed.”

“What?! How is it possible for anyone to destroy Hades?!” said Rachel. “Only the witch would know.”

“You gave away my birthright to that bratty sister of mine!!” she argued. “And for your sins, I hereby cast you to the dark pits of Tartarus!!” Melinoe screams as she is teleported to Tartarus.

“That child went overboard. Even Ares at his worst won’t go this far.” Persephone turns around to see Hecate. “Nice to see you Lady Hecate.” she says with a bow.

The Goddess sighed. “We have one heck of a mess to clean up.” She then turns to Eren’s corpse.

“If she hadn’t attacked, that boy would have grown to be great. Not because of any prophecy but rather because he was born into this world.”

“There would still be war and conflict and corruption in this world.” says Persephone. “A reflection or the politics of the gods. It is just how life itself is. Something so complex even we the gods do not often understand it.” Says Hecate.

“And in the midst of such darkness, there shall be light.” Persephone adds. The elder goddess nods. “I believe that we should allow the children to decide their destiny once we begin anew.” And with that, everyone gets reincarnated once again.

Meanwhile in Tartarus, the evil Melinoe struggles to break free from her chains. Angered that the gods somehow managed to ruin her plans, she utters a very terrifying curse.

“Mark my words Makaria!! You and your people shall never know peace!! The Eldians shall be destroyed by one of your children!!! And another shall be so hated that the world shall mark him as a demon regardless of his good deeds!!”

“Holy shit!” says Jason. Rachel gasped. “Now I really want to punch the shit out of that bitch when I see her!!” says Conner.

“All nine of us were separated through time and space and thrown into different worlds until that great Eldian War where Eren sacrificed himself by playing a demonic character which went against his morales. Something I can relate to because I did a similar thing too.” says Lelouch.

“Let’s be honest. All nine of us were forced to play demons for the sake of saving humanity because the worlds we were raised in brought out our inner darkness.” says Ichigo. “I am shocked that the gods did not punish us.” says Rin. “They kind of did by making Eren go on a 12 Labours journey as atonement once he got reincarnated in this current world and us being the loyal boys that we are, we went along for the ride.” says Izuku.

Eren simply hugs Dick and breaks down in tears. Dick pulls him closer and hugs him tight with Kory joining in for support. “It’s ok Eren. You will regain your happiness again.”

“Is it me or are the cowards a bunch of cowards?” says Conner. “Yeah why do all the demigods have to suffer for them?” says Rose. “Melinoe somehow scared the shit out of them but she isn’t supposed to....”

“Unless some other god or powerful being on that same level is aiding her behind the scenes but who?” says Natsu. “There is only guy that I could think of and he is someone we collectively hate.” says Eren.

The mysterious man he speaks of is ironically locked in a secret meeting with Melinoe in a secret lab. “So those children have recovered their memories huh?” says the man. Melinoe simply sighs. “Unfortunately.” He nods. “I see. Still they better be prepared for they will not know what is about to hit them for I have a secret weapon .” he says, pointing at a tube that had the body of a certain young Amazon.

Notice the powers that they all have. Which Kpop group does this remind you all of?

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medea10 · 5 years

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My Review of Happy Sugar Life

#happy sugar life #satou matsuzaka #shio koube #asahi koube #shouko hida #taiyou mitsuboshi #daichi kitaumekawa #satou's aunt #anime review

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dropintomanga · 5 years

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Shu Tsukiyama - A Gourmet’s Chase for a Taste of Real Friendship (Tokyo Ghoul)

“Kaneki...would never forget about me. We shall spend time together again..!! Kaneki!! Let little Hinami, Banjo, and his underlings be there too!! We’ll make up for lost time!!”

One of the most important things to get through life is close friendships. Yet we sometimes forget how fragile they can be when life hits you with a big whammy.

When you make friends with someone who gets you, you tend to do what you can to spend time with them as much as possible. Everything’s all smiles and full of roses. You wish that those days would never end. You don’t give much time to consider that those relationships may end. You feel that nothing will sever those bonds.

Once those bonds end, you assume there’s nothing left. You can’t move forward. But what if the only way to move forward was to chase the past? To go after and bring back the glory days of yore.

A certain popular Tokyo Ghoul character put the theory to the test and let’s just say it was quite a nuanced experience.

The character I’m talking about is Shu Tsukiyama - a major supporting character who was once an enemy to main character Ken Kaneki, but became one of his most vocal supporters and allies. Tsukiyama was once known as the Gourmet, as he always feasted on humans that seemed fancy and exquisite to eat. One day, he became enamored at Kaneki’s hybrid nature (being both half-human and Ghoul) and planned to eat him. Tsukiyama ends up getting killed at the hands at Touka Kirishima for his interest in Kaneki. He was later revealed to be alive as he ate parts of himself to regenerate his body completely.

Tsukiyama joins a rescue attempt to save Kaneki from the Ghoul organization Aogiri Tree and later became Kaneki’s “sword” to fight against Aogiri. Although he still wanted to eat Kaneki, he becomes much nicer than he was during his Gourmet days. When Kaneki tries to save his friends at the cafe Anteiku near the end of the original Tokyo Ghoul series, a tearful Tsukiyama implores him not to go. He becomes depressed and a shut-in at his home for 2 years after Kaneki disappears at the end of the Anteiku raid. But when he finds out Kaneki is alive and living under a different identity in the start of Tokyo Ghoul:re, Tsukiyama embarked on a renewed journey to get back the one friend he truly treasured in his life.

When you look up most advice on how to find closure after a friendship ends, almost all of the answers would tell you to process the loss and move forward. Processing the loss of a friendship is important because more often than not, they end without warning. They also end due to major differences in values brought out during conflicts. Regarding the Kaneki/Tsukiyama friendship, Kaneki cared about protecting people (regardless of whether they were Ghouls or humans) around him; Tsukiyama only cared about protecting Kaneki.

Moving forward can be just as hard because perhaps the lost friendship was everything you wanted. For Tsukiyama, he later sees that all he wanted was a friend to share his interests with. Kaneki didn’t shy away from him unlike most of the other Ghouls during their time together as an anti-Aogiri force. The two shared a similar social identity - Ghouls who have been thrown aside by others in the past, have very few friends growing up, and absorb themselves in sophisticated literature. Their first meeting was a conversation about literature. There are studies that show the most important things that makes friends the best of the best is a shared social identity, This is stronger than intimacy, contact, and support.

Is that a good reason to repair a lost friendship? To rebuild the social identity they once shared? There was a complication in Tsukiyama’s attempts to befriend Kaneki again. Kaneki was now known as Haise Sasaki, an up-and-coming CCG (Commission of Counter-Ghoul) investigator. He became the enemy of the Ghouls. This doesn’t deter Tsukiyama from wanting to bring Kaneki’s memory back (with some help from two of his actual closest friends, Chie Hori and Kanae von Rosewald) as they met up a few times to talk.

However, during one of the final few meetings between the two, Haise asks Tsukiyama if he knew Kaneki. Haise started to figure out who he really is after meeting old friends he made when he was Kaneki. As Haise continues to explain that he must know his past, a now-conflicted Tsukiyama begins to realize that telling him the truth would bring nothing but misery and pain and his love for Kaneki didn’t want that. Haise was an innocent personality that served to protect Kaneki. Why add even more unnecessary stress?

However, Tsukiyama’s actions gave rise to the eventual rebirth of Ken Kaneki inside Haise as the CCG began an attempt to eradicate the Tsukiyama family for good. Haise and Tsukiyama battle, but Haise begins to have a mental breakdown as he’s unable to kill Tsukiyama. He then throws him off the roof of the building they fought on. The two would later reunite as members of an organization known as GOAT to help bring change to Ghoul-human relations. Tsukiyama forgave the now-reborn Kaneki for destroying his family legacy. He would later stick up for Kaneki with a memorable speech (which was the background photo for a meat dish at the Tokyo Ghoul:re cafe) near the end of Tokyo Ghoul:re when members of GOAT were questioning a super-deformed Kaneki’s desires.

So yeah, you succeed in getting a friendship back. But at what cost? Tsukiyama once admitted that his ego got in the way and he wanted Kaneki back for his sake. When thinking about renewed friendships, it’s hard to remember why the friendship ended in the first place. The excitement of re-connection all blinds us to a reality where the friend may not think the same way you do. Be careful of allowing yourself to be like Tsukiyama and think things will be clear-cut.

The best thing to do is let the friendship process slowly. It was quite a while before Kaneki and Tsukiyama became Ghoul buddies again. And it’s all about timing. Touka once told Tsukiyama that Kaneki should only be back when he’s ready to come back. Tsukiyama didn’t think highly of her thoughts then, but does see his timing was wrong during his fight with Haise. Kaneki needed some space to gather his thoughts and discover his role in the grand scheme of things. The timing of Kaneki establishing himself as the fabled One-Eyed King was perfect for Tsukiyama to make a more-informed move without complicated drama in-between.

If you noticed a major theme throughout the whole “let’s be friends again” ordeal, it’s that there was so much pain on both sides. Haise/Kaneki lost his mind over seeing people he once knew and started going through the same insecurities he’s had since birth, Tsukiyama lost all of his family guardians and servants to the CCG.

I was listening to a podcast about what’s stronger than hate and whether love was the answer. The host asked a religious community figure what advice would be applicable in building love for someone who’s completely different from you. That figure said in order to build love, you need to let emotional pain be a part of who you are. Do not avoid or toss it aside. Embrace the hurt. That’s when the light that connects others start to shine inside you.

If you think about it, strong friendships and bonds are made when both parties allow themselves to get to a level where they feel hurt by the same things alongside each other. Each person chooses to experience the pain the other person feels even if they never felt it before. We all live in the same world together and can’t let our personal bias close us off. What affects someone can affect us too. We need to support each other during rough times as that’s how meaningful change happens. Tsukiyama saw this as he noticed his family was sacrificing themselves to save him the same way Kaneki was trying to save Anteiku in the past.

Kaneki’s and Tsukiyama’s wacky, tense, sorrowful, yet enduring and pleasurable relationship over the span of the years is all about using the tragedy of life’s circumstances to make better connections with those around you. Don’t shy away from negative feelings. It’s such pain and trauma that makes someone feel alive and human.

Like Tsukiyama’s obsession with fine delicacies, wounds may not be the best ingredients on paper. But pair them up with powerful ingredients like friends and they create a fine, delicious, healthy and well-balanced meal for the soul.

#Shu Tsukiyama #Tokyo Ghoul #Tokyo Ghoul:re #manga #anime #friendship #chasing the past #mental health #glory days #psychology

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moonwaif · 5 years

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Latte (H)Art: Ch. 6

Summary: Traumatized after being rejected by Kirishima Ayato, her first love, a teenaged Hinami vows that she will never fall in love again. Four years later, Hinami is a young woman trying to get by in life. Her painful past is behind her - at least, until she gets a job at Aogiri Tree Café, where she runs into a few familiar faces...AyaHina human!AU

Chapter Title: “Openings”

Touka and Hinami catch up. Will Hinami use this opportunity to learn more about Ayato's past, or will she chicken out?

Rating: T

A/n: Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I always look forward to getting your feedback. It’s really encouraging when people take the time to leave a comment.Originally, I wanted to make this chapter longer. As I was writing, I decided to shorten it for pacing reasons, and move some of the originally planned events to the next chapter. One of my favorite things is sitting down to a nice, long update, so I apologize for the length. As usual, I'm editing myself, so if you notice errors I apologize. I will hopefully have those cleaned up soon. I just get so sick of rereading my own stuff over and over again. I hope that you can still enjoy the chapter

Touka had always been beautiful, but Hinami was still surprised by the grace and composure she radiated strolling into Aogiri Tree.

“Hina-chan!” Her smile was friendly and relaxed, as if it had been mere days instead of years since their last meeting. “What a surprise! Are you working here now?”

Hinami nodded. The flimsy paperback crackled in her tightening grip. “Yes. I just started a few weeks ago.”

“That’s funny, ‘cause I just saw this guy yesterday” - she leveled an accusatory glare at Ayato, who scowled - “and he didn’t tell me a thing!”

“Why are you here, ugly nee-chan?” he groused. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Since you helped out so much yesterday, I thought I’d come by and share some of the wages. Besides, I wanted to check up on my little brother, make sure he’s staying out of trouble.”

“You should know better than that, Touka-chan,” Naki interjected, sweeping under a nearby table. “That one’s hopeless.”

“Oi, don’t speak to my sister so comfortably!”

Touka turned to Hinami, ignoring the ensuing bickering. “So, how is everything going here? I hope Ayato-kun isn’t scaring you too much with that bruised face he has on.”

“N-no! Everything is good.”

“Are they picking on you?”

“Not too much,” Hinami said, while inside she screamed, ‘Yes, Touka-chan, save me!’

“Well if they do, just tell me.”

“Look, hag,” Ayato interrupted, seeming to remember his sister was there in the first place, “I don’t need your money, so get lost.”

“I’m talking with Hina-chan,” she retorted. “Stop being so rude. By the way, Hina-chan, why don’t you make me a cappuccino? I’m really curious to see how your skills have improved!”

Touka chatted easily while Hinami brewed the espresso, filling her in on the latest doings of the Anteiku crowd. Tsukiyama had stopped modeling, but was still designing. Nishiki was finishing up med school; he and Kimi were engaged. Banjou and Yomo were both working at :re, the coffee shop Touka had opened with the money Yoshimura had left her after he had passed away from heart failure.

There was only one person suspiciously absent from her list - the one person Hinami was the most interested to hear about.

“Mmm, Hina-chan, this is good!” Touka said, sampling the cappuccino. “I like the foam rabbit you made too. It’s so cute! I’m sorry I had to ruin it.”

Hinami blushed. “I remembered you liked rabbits a lot, so…”

“You’ve really grown as a barista. I’m proud of you.”

Hinami wasn’t sure how to react to this compliment. It didn’t help that she could sense Ayato listening intently from just a few feet away. Thankfully Takizawa chose this moment to stick his head out of the kitchen.

“Ayato-san, there’s a phone call for you. Delivery stuff.”

“Ayato-san?” Touka repeated, smirking. “Wow, manager; this workplace is so laid-back.”

He ignored her. Touka watched him leave with a thoughtful smile. Gradually, her gaze lowered to the steaming cup clasped between her hands. Hinami noted the gentle lavender waves that framed her face, the full lashes that dusted her cheekbones.

“I can’t believe you’re working at my brother’s cafe,” she said. “Well, not HIS cafe, but in the same place as him. What a weird coincidence.”

“Yeah,” Hinami agreed, staring down at the counter.

“Don’t misunderstand; I’m really, really glad to see you, Hinami-chan. We still think and talk a lot about you all the time. I’ll have to let everyone know I saw you here so they can stop by and say hello, too.”

“Ah, no!” Hinami blurted, drawing a quizzical look from Touka. “I mean, please don’t. I don’t want to trouble anyone…”

“Trouble anyone? Of course not. I can’t wait to tell Banjou. He’s gonna be so jealous I got to see you.”

‘I doubt it,’ Hinami thought with a pang. ‘More like disappointed when he founds out I’m just a drop-out loser…’

“Actually, Touka-chan,” she began, measuring her words carefully, “please don’t tell anyone just yet. I’d like to surprise them, when I’m ready. But enough about me. How are you doing? You’ve told me about everyone except yourself.”

‘Well. Almost everyone.’

Touka took a long sip. “It’s been good. I like having my own business. It’s hectic and stressful, but it feels good to do things my own way and help make other people’s lives a little brighter in the process. If you ever get sick of this place, you should come work at :re.”

“Eh, really? I’ll keep it in mind.”

There was a moment of silence. Hinami’s curiosity finally won out.

“How is Kaneki-kun doing?”

Touka’s smile stiffened.

“You know as much as I do, Hinami-chan. You were still here in Tokyo when he disappeared.”

That was the same word Ayato had used; ‘disappeared.’ Her chest tightened.

“You haven’t heard from him since then?”

Touka shook her head. “I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you something. I know you two were close.”

‘Not as close as you were,’ Hinami thought.

“So.” Touka took another sip. “Have you written anything lately?”

Hinami’s face burned.

“I - no. I don’t really do that anymore.”

“That’s a shame. I always enjoyed getting to read your stories, even though you didn’t share them very often.”

“I didn’t really have enough time to keep writing." It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Between skipping classes, ignoring homework and hiding out in convenience stores in an effort to avoid her relatives, she’d probably had enough time to fill volumes. She’d just lost the desire to do.

“I see,” Touka said. “You’ve changed a lot, Hinami-chan. But that’s okay. I changed a lot after high school, too. And Ayato-kun, well - you can see how much he’s changed.”

Touka’s expression was withdrawn, even wistful as she stirred her cappuccino. The words Ayato had spoken that day in the basement suddenly came back to her: ‘Do you have any idea the mess you left behind, the crap-ton of bullshit that the rest of us had to clean up for you?

‘You. Fucked. Up. Everything.’

“Touka-chan, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

She braced herself against the counter. “After I left Tokyo, did anything else happen at my old school? Maybe your brother mentioned something to you…”

Touka lowered her mug. She was no longer smiling. “Why? Did he say something?”

“Sort of, but I didn’t really understand. I know about some of the things that happened, but he made it sound like there was something else I never heard about.”

Touka sighed. “I can’t really tell you what my brother was thinking when he said...whatever it was he said to you, but I do know this: life came at Ayato-kun fast in high school. Real fast. A lot of it was his own fault, but...he got his comeuppance, if that’s any consolation.”

Hinami opened her mouth to protest, then stopped. Why pretend that revenge wasn’t at least a little bit sweet?

“What kind of comeuppance?” she asked instead, trying not to sound too curious.

“Why not ask Ayato-kun directly? He knows more about it than I do.”

“Ask me what?” Ayato demanded, exiting the kitchen. His eyes flashed between them suspiciously as he resumed his place at the register.

Hinami blanched. Touka was quick on her feet.

“About your banged up face, probably,” she lied, much to Hinami’s relief. “You know, you’re not exactly helping Aogiri Tree’s image. When customers walk in, they probably see that busted mug and have a heart attack.”

“Tch. What do you know, old lady.”

“When are you ever gonna quit that fighting stuff?”

Touka’s brow was furrowed, her lips pursed in a thin, crooked line. She looked more like the cranky onee-chan that Hinami remembered.

“Whatever,” Ayato muttered. “Why don't you just scram already? I told you, I don’t need your money. Let’s just call it even.”

"Fine, if you’re gonna be so stubborn about it,” Touka retorted. She pushed her mug away. “I’ll just assume this cappuccino is on the house, too.”

Hinami watched as Touka gathered her things, words teetering on the edge of her tongue. She wanted to tell her about Sasaki Haise. She wanted to apologize for abandoning Touka and everyone else in Anteiku without looking back.

“Oh! That’s right.”

Touka rummaged in her purse before pulling out a business card and a pen. She scribbled a number on the back and slid the card across the counter.

“That has :re’s address and hours,” she explained. “Stop by anytime; it’s on me. Also, that’s my personal phone number on the back. Give me a call when you can’t stand my brother anymore. I’ll find something for you to do at :re.”

“Stop trying to steal our employees,” Ayato protested, but his eyes had softened. Hinami took the card. It felt sturdy in her hands. Touka’s name gleamed up at her in elegant, embossed script.

“I’ll come by as soon as I have free time,” Hinami said.

She didn’t plan on having any free time.

Touka’s encouraging presence energized Hinami throughout the rest of the day. When it was time to train with Ayato after work, she was still going strong.

“Ready to get to some of the good stuff?” he asked once they’d finished warming up.

“I guess,” Hinami answered, not sure if she should be excited or scared.

“All right. First, review time. So far we’ve covered two basic punches: the jab and the cross. You remember what those are right?”

“I think so…”

“Then throw on some gloves and show me your best right cross.”

Hinami always felt a bit silly wearing the training gloves. She was an imposter in a cheap disguise. A stick-thin nerd like her probably looked ridiculous. Even so, she faced the punching bag and tried to focus on her breathing, assuming the stance Ayato had taught her: both fists raised, one pulled in close to her face, feet spread slightly apart.

“Tuck that chin,” Ayato muttered. She bent her neck quickly, chin pressing into her shoulder. He nodded. “Good. Now rotate that hip…”

Hinami shifted her weight to her back foot. Arm tense, she swung her fist at the punching bag, her body turning in the direction of the punch with as much energy as she could muster.

“Needs improvement,” Ayato said shortly. “But whatever. It’s gonna be awhile before you’re strong enough for your hits to do any damage - if you ever get to that point in the first place. If you’re gonna have a chance in hell, you’ll need to learn some defensive maneuvers.”

“Like blocking techniques?” asked Hinami.

"In order to block, you actually need something to block WITH. If a shrimp like you tries to block a hit, they’ll get squashed. That’s why we’re gonna start with evading.”

‘Evading, huh?’ she thought. ‘Just like you and your sister evade all my questions about onii-chan…’

She vaguely wondered what he would do if she asked him about the “comeuppance” Touka had alluded to earlier. Would he find a way to dodge that question, too?

“Okay,” he said. “Let's use a scenario. Imagine Akira tries to bitch slap you again. What is the easiest, most sure fire way to avoid getting hit?”

“Um...duck?”

“No, genius; you run away.”

Hinami frowned. “But, I thought the whole point of this was so I’d stop running away?”

“No - it’s so you can determine when it’s best to confront a problem, and when it’s best to just distance yourself from that problem entirely. Like...just come here.”

Hinami approached him, arms held up half-heartedly. Ayato assumed a similar stance as he explained.

“Running away has its advantages. For one, it’s easy; more advanced techniques like slipping and ducking require skill. Anyone can run. Two, it wears out your opponent. Three, it can take you in any direction. You can go back -” He took a backward step away from her. “-which puts you out of range of an attack if you move fast enough. That’s good. Can you think of any problems with this, though?”

Hinami’s stance faltered. She always did freeze in the headlights of a pop quiz. Fortunately, Ayato didn’t give her too much time to think.

“You put yourself out of range to hit back,” he said. Hinami could hear the unspoken “duh” behind his words. “If Akira’s too far away to reach you, you can’t reach her, either. In the long run you’re gonna use up all your strength and energy trying to avoid blows while sacrificing any opportunities to land any of your own.”

‘Wow,’ Hinami thought. ‘It’s the perfect metaphor for my entire pathetic, non-confrontational life.’

“Of course, you can always choose to go around instead,” he continued. He drew close to her before pivoting to the side with a swift grace that took Hinami aback. “This keeps you in attack range, since you’re not actually putting distance between you and your opponent; you’re just changing up the angles.”

“I see,” Hinami said. She could smell the sharp, sour scent of sweat under his cologne, accompanied by the ever-present aroma of coffee. And had his shoulders always been that much wider than her own?

“Can you think of any disadvantages?” he asked. He was near enough that Hinami could hear low, gravely tones in his voice that she’d never noticed before.

“Well,” she began, dismayed to hear shakiness in her own voice, “it’s like before, right? You’re using too much energy…moving around and stuff…”

He nodded, pleased. “Exactly. Do you really wanna keep moving your entire body when Akira is just moving an arm or a leg? That’s the real problem with footwork, because even if you move forward -”

The little space remaining between them abruptly vanished as he stepped forward. The hair on Hinami’s arms tingled at their proximity. She stared, fixated on the bit of collar bone peeking out of his v-neck.

“ - you’re still putting in way more effort than your opponent is,” he finished. “Besides, this move only works if you have a size advantage. You wanna be big enough to overpower the other guy. In your case, I don’t see that being likely.”

He smirked down at her. Ridiculous heart - why was it beating so fast? This wasn’t high school!

‘It’s just a chemical reaction,’ she told herself firmly. ‘Hormones activating arbitrarily in response to his handsome face and muscle definition. I am definitely NOT attracted to him on a romantic, personal level. This is just human biology!’

She became aware of the silence that had crept into the room. Hesitantly, she glanced up at Ayato’s face. His smirk had fallen, replaced by a quiet, stern expression she was unfamiliar with. He held her gaze for an agonizing moment - then he gave a sudden start. Quickly, he turned his head, falling back a few steps.

“Yeah, so, I wouldn’t recommend this approach unless you’re looking to get crushed,” he said, voice gruff.

“What do you recommend then?” she asked, choosing to disregard his unusual behavior. Why had he stared at her face so intently? Was there a booger hanging out of her nose, or something?

“Well the best defense is one that gives you an opening to strike,” he said. He spared her a thoughtful (but abnormally cautious) glance. “With your size, you’re gonna need to be quick on your feet - adaptable to the needs of the moment. If you always use the same strategy, your opponent will use that against you. Basically, you’re not just trying to outwork or overpower your opponent; you also need to out-think them.” He tapped his forehead.

“So...being adaptable means I should also be trying to predict my opponent’s moves as well, right?”

“Exactly. But it’s not like a game of chess; there’s no time to read the board or deliberate your next move. Overthinking can just end up slowing you down, which gives your opponent an opening.”

“So how do I decide what to do if there’s no time to think?”

“Well, you don’t really decide, “ he mumbled, forehead wrinkling. “You just sort of do it. Look, I’m not very good at explaining, okay? Just keep practicing and doing what I say, and you’ll be fine.”

Hinami regarded him doubtfully, but kept her thoughts to herself. This must be his first time training someone.

“Anyway, I’ve got homework for you,” he said, with more than a little relish. “Ever heard of Irimi Kaya?”

Hinami shook her head. Ayato didn’t look surprised.

"Look her up. See if you can find any footage of the 2004 Kyoto fight. I’m sure it’s all over the internet. Pay attention to the way she evades attacks. Pause the video, pull it back, repeat it. See if you notice any patterns.”

“Is that how you learned to fight; from watching videos?”

“Not exactly.” Ayato shuffled his feet. “My case was...different from yours.”

The reformatory school for troubled youth in the countryside, Hinami remembered. Had Ayato been sent there because of fighting? A vision rose to her mind of an adolescent Ayato standing in the Anteiku break room, face mottled and bruised, while Touka scolded him in hushed tones. Even in those days, Touka had been tight-lipped about her delinquent little brother. There’d always been the implication that Ayato’s time on the straight-and-narrow wasn’t meant to last; that deep down, Ayato still wasn’t safe or trustworthy.

What was it Touka had told her back then? Oh yeah. ‘Don’t fall in love with my brother.’

“Anyway,” Ayato said, shattering her reverie, “be sure to look all that stuff up by Friday. Starting this weekend, we’re gonna get busy.”

“Because of the promotion?”

“Yeah; we’ll need to make sure we’re ready before Monday. Speaking of which, we need to talk about the new hours.” He frowned, folding his arms. “We’ll be splitting shifts, working longer days. With the new schedule, we’d both technically be working now - or at least whoever’s scheduled for the night shift would be. It’ll be probably get harder to find times when we’re both available…”

Was this his way of dumping her, Hinami wondered? She swallowed.

“If you want,” he continued, voice dropping into a low mumble, “just keep using the equipment down here to train. And then when we’re both free, we’ll meet.”

His eyes darted in her direction, daring her to object. She made a small sound of assent. Had Ayato really just given her permission to enter the sacred space of his room unsupervised? She wasn’t sure whether she should feel flattered or apprehensive.

“‘Course, you could always ask my sister for pointers,” he said drily. “She’s always liked you, so I’m sure she’d be willing to help. Unless she’s gotten too soft.”

“Touka used to fight?” Hinami asked, surprised. Ayato grinned..

“Uh-huh. Nothing professional, just schoolyard rough-housing, but still - she was pretty good. Other kids knew not to mess with us.”

‘Us.’

Hinami tried to imagine Touka and Ayato back-to-back, fists raised and smiles wicked as they prepared to kick some ass. Looking back at the strong, cool and confident Touka she had known growing up, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibilities. Touka had always seemed like an action superhero - maybe Catwoman, or Sailor Moon. There’d been a gruffness to her demeanor, an edge of danger that Touka had tried to keep carefully tucked away in Hinami’s presence. She’d never quite succeeded in hiding it all away.

Hinami wondered briefly what had changed for Touka. What had made her go “soft,” and what had prevented Ayato from doing so, too?

“Anyway, give me your number,” he said suddenly. “That way if one of us has to cancel, we can get in touch. Or if I need to send you an update to your work schedule, or - y’know, stuff like that.”

He reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a cellphone without looking at her. Hinami took it, feeling numb as she entered in her phone number. Was this really happening? Had Ayato just asked her for her phone number? And was she actually going through with it?!

She was suddenly and acutely aware that this was the opening she’d been waiting for. There was an atmosphere of relative peace, and their chat had lasted long enough to drift into comfortable, familiar territory. If ever there was an opportunity to dig into Ayato’s past, this was it. She licked her lips as she returned the phone to him, deliberating the best way to approach the subject.

‘I can’t just come out and say it,’ she realized. ‘I’ve got to...ease into it!’

“Um, Kirishima-san…”

He tilted his head expectantly. Hinami felt sick.

“Thank you for helping me.”

An indecipherable emotion flickered across his face. Before she could chicken out, Hinami plunged on.

“A while ago, you mentioned I caused some troubles for you in the past. I’m not really sure what you meant, but...you still agreed to help me.”

She paused, giving Ayato a chance to protest or reproach her. He remained silent, face abnormally stricken. His eyes were wide with something that resembled accusation - or maybe even pain. Whatever sense of comfort and familiarity that had been building between them shriveled on the spot. A nauseous shiver of self-loathing ran down her spine. What was she doing, digging into Ayato’s past - a past that was probably riddled with as much shame and disgrace as her own? She was just being nosy and rude.

“I need to leave,” she blurted abruptly. Ayato barely managed to stumble out of her way as she rushed past him, diving for her backpack.

She couldn’t bring herself to look at his face as she fled up the stairs.

Some people guard and cherish their secrets. Hinami was normally one of these people. However, as she rode the train home that night, staring fixedly at the loafers and sandals of the passengers around her, all she wanted was just one person she trusted enough to share her troubles with - someone to help ease the ache of confusion eating her chest hollow.

Her emotions must have shown on her face, because when she got home Saiko actually paused her mobile game to ask if everything was okay. Hinami lied easily - too easily, she realized with a sinking feeling.

She was still brooding when she got out of the shower. Just as she was about to finish toweling her hair, her cell phone vibrated from atop the back of the toilet. She glanced at the screen: a text from a number she didn’t recognize. Without thinking, she took her phone and unlocked it.

Remember to watch those videos I told you about.

“Oh. Ayato-san uses correct punctuation and capital letters when he texts,” she muttered, looking up at the reflection staring back at her from the mirror. Did he always do that, or was that just because this was his first time messaging her? She set her phone down without replying.

Why had he decided to text her? Maybe it was a taunt. Did he assume she was too lazy or forgetful to do her “homework,” as he’d put it?

Or had he just wanted to talk to her?

“Don’t look so happy about it,” her reflection snapped. She toweled at her hair fiercely.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t so easy to towel the thoughts out of her brain. She was still pondering the message over dinner twenty-five minutes later, picking at her ramen listlessly.

“Oo gonna fi’ish that?” Saiko asked, cheeks bulging with noodles. She pointed her chopsticks at Hinami’s plate.

“Ah! Yes.” Hinami made an effort to concentrate on her food. “I’m just a bit distracted.”

“Is it about your friend?” Saiko asked genly. Hinami shook her head.

“No. It’s...something else.”

“Oh? Then what is it?”

Hinami hesitated. Finally, she laid her chopsticks down, shoulders slumping heavily. It was all too much to bear alone. It couldn’t hurt to share just a little bit of her troubles with Saiko, could it?

“My boss sent me a message,” she said, voice quiet.

“Ehhh? Are you in trouble at work?!”

“No…”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s just...we don’t normally message each other.

Saiko popped a carrot into her mouth. “That’s weird. Maman and me text each other all the time!”

“...really?”

“Uh-huh! Yesterday he sent me this meme.” Saiko reached for her phone. A few seconds later, she held it out for Hinami to see. “Look at that! It’s that ugly frog! Maman is so funny…”

Hinami laughed uneasily. “Sasaki-san must be a really nice boss.”

“Mhm! So what did your boss say to you?”

“He just...reminded me of some deadlines.”

“Oh, sounds important. What did you say back?”

“I...haven’t said anything yet.”

“WHAT?!”

The upstairs neighbor pounded on the ceiling, shouting a muffled, “Keep it down!” Saiko leaned forward.

“You’ve gotta reply!” she hissed. “That’s your boss, if you don’t reply it’ll look bad! Trust me, I ignore emails and messages all the time. It always gets me in trouble!”

Hinami lifted her phone from the table nervously. “What should I say?”

“Let me read what he said first.”

She handed her phone to Saiko, who peered at the screen intently. Hinami made one more attempt to finish her dinner. The noodles felt like chewing rubber.

“Okay. I sent it.”

A noodle went down Hinami’s windpipe.

“You WHAT?” she spluttered.

“I sent the reply for you.” Saiko grinned back at her like an eager puppy ready for her reward. “See?”

Hinami took the phone, hands shaking. Her eyes widened as the words on the screen slowly registered.

ok boss thank you i will~~~ :D

The entire commute to work the next morning was filled with dread.

‘I should have just kept my mouth shut,’ Hinami berated herself. 'Why didn’t I just keep my problems to myself like I normally do? That’s the best way to have a peaceful life.'

That absurd text message Saiko had sent, along with the awkward way she and Ayato had parted the previous evening, had her stomach twisting in knots. Would Ayato bring up her strange behavior when he saw her? Would he ridicule her for sending such a dorky, cutesy message?

‘If only Saiko had used correct grammar!’ she thought miserably.

When she arrived at the cafe, she paused outside the entrance. She could see Ayato through the store window. He was standing behind the coffee bar, accompanied by Naki and Takizawa. The three of them were preoccupied with something on the counter; she couldn’t really make out what. While she hesitated, Naki looked up, his eyes locking on hers. He waved excitedly, gesturing for her to join them. Hinami bit back a groan and entered reluctantly.

Ayato looked up as she came in. Hinami met his gaze with reluctance. She was surprised to see her own apprehension mirrored on his features. He looked away quickly, crossing his arms and focusing intently on whatever was on the counter. All of a sudden Naki popped up, blocking Ayato from Hinami’s view.

“Get ready to pitch that visor, Fueguchi-san; the new uniforms are here!”

TBC...

A/n: I’m gonna tell you guys a secret. Don’t let Ayato know I told you, but...He rewrote and deleted like twenty drafts of texts. He was gonna delete that one too, but then he accidentally hit send. Oops.Thank you for reading!

#ayahina #my writing #latte hart #ayato kirishima #kirishima ayato #fueguchi hinami #hinami fueguchi #touka kirishima #tg #tgre #tgre fanfiction #fanfic

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